#this shit is so goddamn boring
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Lets see how many episodes of revolutionary girl utena I can slog through today before I wanna fucking end it all
#sorry I do not fucking like this series#it’s been 25 episodes and I’ve spent every single one wanting to rip my eyeballs out of my skull#this shit is so goddamn boring#but alas#I have a disease that’s makes me finish literally everything I start#so that way even if I hate it I can hate it and bitch properly#and ppl can’t hit with me with the ‘b-b-but you haven’t even seen it!’#actually yes I have bitch and here’s my ten page essay ripping it to shreds#and like idk. I will admit that rgu is one series where I GENUINELY wanna figure out what ppl are seeing in it#like why they think it’s good#and I feel like I need to watch it all the way through to get that#but godDAMN it’s taking forever it literally feels like the world’s worst homework#screaming crying throwing up I wanna start a new anime I’ll actually like#but I can’t until I FINISH THIS SHIT#UGH#okay I’ll stop whining now#kaz rambles
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Someone pissed me off a couple of days ago
So! Below are several links to programs and foundations that promote adult literacy! Hundreds of millions of adults world wide were failed by their education system and now must fend for themselves while trying to read contracts and hospital bills and infographics from the CDC. But they don't have to be alone, and it is never too late to learn!
ProLiteracy: A network of educators, researchers, and advocates which provides research reports, learning materials, and other support to adult education programs. They assist with connecting volunteers to local programs and provide guidance and support to community leaders trying to use their programs' findings to advocate for social and political change.
Adult Literacy League: An adult education program in Central Florida, which aims to provide students with one on one attention to foster growth and confidence. It also offers English Second Language courses and job skills training, and each new student receives a comprehensive assessment to determine the best plan for them.
Saint Vincent and Sarah Fisher Center's Foundational Skills Program: A 100% free adult education program aimed at adults reading below a fifth grade level. It operates year round and is either in person or remote, and they now have a GED testing center that is open to students and the public alike.
Washtenaw Literacy: A free network of trained tutors for adults in Washtenaw County, Michigan.
Adult Learning Program (Las Vegas/Clark County): Free education classes to those lacking a high school diploma, those seeking to learn ESL, and adults who read below an eighth grade level. Also assists in students' search for gainful employment. Nevada got so fucked by COVID and the education/literacy numbers in the South West are grim. Please help these guys.
Hawaii Literacy: In addition to helping adult residents of Hawaii Island learn to read and write AND bridging the education gap in Hawaii's underserved children, they offer computer literacy classes, ESL classes, and a bookmobile. 1 in 6 Hawaiian adults struggle to read and write.
#Not Stories#mutual aid#adult literacy#'uuhhhggg its soooo disappointing when i meet a girl who's like 'yeah omg i luv 2 read'#'and then she only reads booktok trash and grocery store thrillers and manga'#'like come on thats such a turn off :/'#'like aren't you bored??? what about reading The Foundation and War & Peace and Grapes of Wrath where's THAT girl haha'#nobody gives a shit what sort of high school reading list gets your dick stiff! NOBODY!#I'm too busy dealing with the fact that most public education systems hate students of color and anyone with a learning disability#from the very bottom of my very dyslexic heart go fuck yourself#'this chick only read 8 books in twelve months lmfao thats so pathetic'#'i read eight books a MONTH some people really give up after high school'#do you think my great grandfather or his father got to fucking finish high school????#or were they busy getting fucking shot at in germany in two different fucking wars????#thank every god you wanna name that my lunatic mother stopped abusing me long enough to put me through FIVE YEARS OF TUTORING#to get ME literate because that's what it fucking took#I watched more than one kid from my underserved semi rural district drop out at 17 or 16 or 15#because their parents needed a third paycheck or they were gonna lose the goddamn house#10% of my majority black school district graduated FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE and not an ounce of it was those kids' fault#our racist ass school district failed them and the district did NOT protect my white ass when I was diagnosed dyslexic#the adult literacy crisis is not about you getting a girlfriend who can discuss Ayn Rand with you#the adult literacy crisis is about us being exploited and neglected and made easier to control and manipulate#reading is FUCKING HARD and learning to read after the age of six is SO MUCH HARDER#so from the VERY very bottom of my VERY very dyslexic heart#FUCK. YOU.
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Dont ask why but Ive been spending a lot of time looking at books that are dracula retellings and GOOD GOD do cishets never get tired of how fucking cishet their stupid books are
#its always fucken#'oooOoOOoooooHhhhh the DARK strong SCARY *MAN* absolutely DOMINATES the delicate uwu virginal *GIRL*'#sometimes the woman is feisty and hastag girlbossin it up. yknow for flavor#but its ultimately like#the man is never EVER under ANY circumstances allowed to *actually* submit to the woman#and while the woman is allowed to *try* to be 'dominant' in some way(s) she ultimately needs to 'lose' she always submits eventually#like its not just a lack of queer rep its like shit that doesnt have this kind of patriarchal bullshit framework barely gets published/po#/popular#and it makes me wanna tear my fucking hair out its so goddamn boring man#anti booktok#i mean kinda
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figuratively gnawing off my own leg again, not understanding why ppl engage with works way shorter than mine, while I'm spending weeks of my life, bleeding out onto my carpet for scraps
there's clearly something I'm lacking, right ?
#bee blabs#ygs can tell me#what is it ?#am I boring ?#is the mere sight of my username a repellent ?#idk but I'm beginning to feel like a plague no one wants to catch again </3#which is gross bc that's a feeling that's been with me since I was little#I should stop complaining !!!!#it's like ren says#“the people who find it [my work] respect it”#and there's like a minimum of 2 ppl that do so-#I also feel like the more I produce works the less ppl actually give a shit#I was doing so good today too ???#idk why my emotions turn on me as soon as I look at my goddamn ao3 stats#I shld stop doing that aye
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the saddest thing missing from the awakened remake is the brothel owner telling holmes and watson this
#frogwares holmes#the older games are so goddamn funny#at one point sherlock gets irritated with watson complaining about being bored and is like here you can study my essay on Bird Shit
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God I hate AI. I hate AI so much. This thing was supposed to be cool and futurey and renovate society in positive ways, and instead it’s just a giant plagarism machine. Art and creativity and actually cool shit getting all the humanity ripped out in favor of quick and easy. I fucking hate it with my whole soul. I hate the idea of AI replacing actors. I hate AI writing fiction. I hate AI trawling artists’ actual blood, sweat, and tears and bundling their hard work into a facsimile. This thing could have been so cool, and instead it’s just “how do we shut out artists of all kinds and make a quicker bigger buck in the process.” Get. So. Fucked.
#sometimes you just wake up and Rage#it’s not intelligence. it’s just theft. like. this isn’t cool robot shit it’s just boring#and sucks the heart out of all the stuff that makes humanity so awesome#we are art. good art. bad art. who cares dude! if it’s made by a person it’s neat as hell#but stealing art is stupid enough when it’s trying to pass someone else’s work off as your own#stealing art on a corporate level? fuck off dude#I’m so goddamn grouchy about this#push button: get art is not art. it’s just a button.#draw it bad! write it bad! act like you’ve never inhabited a human form in your life! at least there’s a person behind all of that
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no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way
#im a crazy bitch okay i will be like yes theyre lovey to eachother yes thats true#yes i only get gay and shit for itager bc theyre true love and then see something sappy and gay of them and go THAT AINT RIGHT#im a freak okay im such an asshole about itager bc i think theyre lovey to eachother in a very specific way and all other ways are cringe#me when the only itager i consume is the official goddamn hetalia manga#and them doujins made by corolla that mf was the only person ever who understood them (even if they were misguided and believed in gerita)#i like to think in my heart of hearts corolla knew the truth it was just the wrong time.#like how i know bill and ted wouldve loved touhou koishi song its just they were born in the wrong era#but yeah like germany and italy are gay in that BRO way like. its hard to describe but its not gay its more like.... friendship adjacent#like when you deeply care about your bro and act gay with them in that way they arent about that silently looks at the moonlight shit#they look at the moonlight and italy goes 'germany is right now a good time to tell you i fucked your car again' and germany goes 'What.'#ITS A BETTER AND MORE AWEZOME FORM OF LOVE IN MY HUMBLEST OF OPINIONS.... I PERSONALLY PREFER IT#its domestic in the way of having your average daily life of dicking around with your bros and throwing grenades in cars n shit#instead of domestic settling down and being all serious and sappy all the time#its lovey dovey in the way of being like AHAHA IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!! yeah bro... i really like you too *hug* im glad youre in my life#i just think thats so much more swag because settling down just does not sit right for me#i think settling down sucks tf you mean theres no more adventures and always sunny shit?#i think fruk can get into that settling down domestic shit but im a firm believer itager cant#because their entire dynamic hinges upon italy coming in and making germanys boring ass lonely life fun by ruining it everyday#its not itager if they arent grabbing eachothers balls and acting like bros#ive said this to wiener but its the itager itapan juxisposition#itapan (japans onesided crush ofc) is great because they act gay but are just bros#and itager is great because they act like bros but are gay#idk its hard to explain the nuances of it all but just trust me when i say canon content and corollas sfw doujins are the only true itager#content#robooty asshole moment sorry guys somethings wrong with me#robooty kun
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Gotta be honest the constant objectification of women's bodies is a bit tiring sometimes.
#catgirltxt#'naked female torso (conventionally attractive)' is a common decoration for some reason#shittons of songs that treat sex with women as purely status building for men#i think the worst part is that as a woman you're expected to buy into it too#and not just buy into it but participate in it#to be chill or whatever you have to create a gap between you and other women#you have to instead align yourself with men and abandon any female solidarity#don't get me wrong i'm a tranny i know full well that female solidarity is a sick joke#but like goddamn i don't want to live in a world where a prime way of gaining respect from men is to engage in this shit#if you object to it all you're treated like you're an overreactive hysterical idiot#and if you just don't participate you're treated as boring#this type of shit is especially prevalent in male dominated areas but it exists just about everywhere#almost the only places it doesn't is spaces that just don't discuss sex at all and those spaces for the most part suck#just about the only people i've seen even mention this on tumblr dot hell are radfems! hardly anyone else!#we need a feminist movement again so bad
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Auto-combat games with 15 different microquests that repeat over and over again for the rest of time making the game a never ending tutorial my beloathed
#I try to play these types of games occasionally#because I’m bored and I’ll download anything from the app store if it catches my attention#but god they are truly the fucking worst#why you would make an entire game out of everyone’s least favorite part of a game — though it is necessary — is beyond me#the only one I’ve ever played that I could stand for more than like 3 days was one about being a little mushroom creature#possibly not the one you’re thinking of. not the one about marrying an entire town (which I don’t think I would qualify in this genre)#like. these games aren’t so bad if the quests are progression based#but the really shit ones will endlessly ask you to do miniscule amounts of boring tasks#like doing a 10 pull on a weapon summons despite you having way more tickets for it than that#and then ask you to come back to claim ur quest reward and hand u the next microquest#and all of these are considered separate tasks so instead of tracking how many summons u’ve done and marking your progress so u can just —#— do as many as ur gonna do and then you can turn in for that number of quest rewards#ur just endlessly going back and forth between menus. bored out of your mind and wondering when the game will stop dragging you along thru—#— this goddamn tutorial#but then eventually you realize the whole fucking game is that way#like I don’t know if they’re trying to actively worsen my attention span#or if they’re trying to set up the world’s laziest dopamine farm#(spoiler alert it’s probably both. cause worse attention span will make u more reliant on dopamine)#anyway I fucking hate these games I really need to stop giving them a chance#like I said the ones that are progression based and will track ur progression regardless of where you are in the quest chain —#— not that bad. can actually be fun#turn-in based ones?? actually the devil’s armpit. stinky. bad#ok I’m done ranting
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Books Read in 2023:
Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman (2019)
Luck in the Shadows by Lynn Flewelling (1996)
The Last Sun by K.D. Edwards (2018)
The Little Book of Lykke by Meik Wiking (2017)
American Cozy by Stephanie Pederson (2018)
The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian (2021)
The Conscious Closet by Elizabeth L. Cline (2019)
My Happy Marriage Vol. 1 by Akumi Agitogi (2019)
Silent Spring by Rachel Carson (1962)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2023media#gigi.txt#humankind was a solid book. jsut about like... humanity being good and shit#i def def do not agree with everything that man says politically hes too liberal and if i hear the words homo puppy again i will lose my#GODDAMN mind but overall. solid.#luck in the shadows is a very good start to a gay high fantasy book series from the 90s!!! the writing was rlly good im looking forward#to the rest of the series. gotta get my hands on it wah#the last sun was. so fucking weird. bad weird. i kept sharing screenshots with my discords. do NOT rec#little book of lykke was the shocking info that if u have robust social programs and good transit and etc u will b. happier. SHOCK.#american cozy was a worse version of that just like uwu lets suck denmark's dick for a whole goddamn book#queer principles of kit webb was boring. gonna be real. it was fine it was just fucking boring.#the conscious closet was good in terms of info abt clothes and problems and shit BUT in terms of politics was so fucking capitalistic hell#i might purchase it just to reference like it was quite solid in terms of that#super loving my happy marriage. reading the manga too. mwah.#SILENT SPRING WOULD'VE CHANGED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE IF I READ IT IN HIGH SCHOOL GO READ IT GO READ IT#MY TOP BOOK OF THIS YEAR NO QUESTION!!!!
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i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well
#toy txt post#spoken as. a no makeup bitch#altho i have also been accused by a terf of wearing a pound if makeup for wearing. visible lipstick in a selfie. and that was It#the actual Beauty Standard has largely stayed the exact fucking same of like making your skin texture as fake as possible#that was the standard back then too but it was harder to achieve /know how to do it cos there werent tutorials the same way now#also yes sephora and ulta are evil and all that but like the same amount theyve always been.#yall really acting like these imposed beauty standards being exposed to children is like a new unique tiktom thing thats never happened#before. and yall blaming instagram are no fuckin better. this has been happening The Entire God Damn Time#also theres something rubbing me about the way this is getting talked about. 'she did all thos other arbitrary bullshit except this#One Thing! the discrimination against this one thing is awful!#and like. it is. but i feel like we could address that while also maybe stepping back a tiny bit further and questioning these arbitrary#standards of professionalism too while we're at it#why does she have to have a blazer either? why do the earrings have to be understated#why do the colors have ti be bland and boring? why does he hair have to be a natural color and gender conforming ?#etc etc etc#like if we're accepting all that other shit the ppl upset about this could acknowledge she might experience similar discrimination for say#very obvious goth or punk-y makeup or anything a little too far outside the bounds of the acceptable beauty standard#everyone is pissed about 'eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man' but theyd be saying nothing if she was discriminated for fuckin#big wings and black lipstick bc well thats Obviously not professional standard makeup. okay?#if we change how we look at professional standards of dress and makeup as a whole to include Fucking Freak Bitches#then it would be a lot easier to include No Makeup in there as welllllll#idk#im a no makeup bitch with blue hair whos only ever worked in warehouses so they didnt give too much of a shit about my lack of makeup#or blue hair as long as i didnt show up in like flip flops which is a Reasonable dress code bc its got an actual fucking reason#(safety so you dont lose your goddamn toes to a box or a grate or some shit) vs it makes the office corpo bros sad#anyway idk if you have the privilege to get away with it i think you should dress weirder in the office to get them used to weirder dress#maybe instead of Suddenly going No Makeup sort of slowly lessen the amount so its not a Sudden change or smth#again: if you have the privilege and job security to get away with it#also also also: easier to get away with if you were to say. mask. js. they cant get mad at schrodingers lack of lipstick
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My DM from my D&D group has been working overtime trying to get me to watch Fantasy High from Dropout saying it was really good and a great way to watch a streamed D&D campaign, and I've been putting it off this whole time because I have the loosest attention span for streamed D&D campaigns. Unfortunately literally nothing in the world is more boring to me than watching a bunch of people sit around a table and talk if I'm not an active participant in the conversation ya girl needs visuals.
But earlier this week I started a new crochet project and wanted something in the background, so I said "fuck it"-- I put it on my TV and listened/watched while I worked.
I'll give my DM credit. Fantasy High absolutely does fucking slap. I'm kinda kicking myself for not trying it out earlier lmao.
#Seta Speaks#It's like. I have a loosey goosey relationship with Dropout-- I was a HUGE CollegeHumor fan when was 11#And that was in uhhhhhhhhhhh 2007 so as you can tell it's gone through some extreme changes between me liking it and what it is now#I'm interested in getting a Dropout subscription but I want to make sure I'll like...actually use it you know?#But FH has fully sucked me in I'm on episode 13 of Freshman year and I'm greatly enjoying it#And the good thing about Fantasy High that I haven't seen in a lot of other streamed D&D is the camera gets closeups and there's visuals#So it keeps my attention a lot better#Also I now have a decent amount of DND exp under my belt so I can follow a lot better#Trust me I've TRIED Critical Role and I like the show but the TTRPG stream BORES THE SHIT OUT OF ME NO SHADE#Anyway point is Fantasy High is very fun and once I'm caught up I will be watching some of the other campaigns on their YT channel#Brennan Lee Mulligan if you're reading this for whatever reason 1) please get off my blog and 2) excellent job I admire your work very much#Anyway my DM's gonna be so goddamn pleased with themself I just fucking know it.
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I have to admit I'm still not very happy with the time jump/story shift as it pertains to Barry (the character). With one episode left I think I need to give up hope on ever getting a satisfying look into his childhood - learning about what happened to his family, the details of what Fuches meant when he referred to "raising [Barry] like a son," and specifically what must be incredibly complex and interesting stuff about his dad considering the somewhat contradictory facts that Barry a) has clear daddy issues and said he "never had a good male role model" and b) decided to name his son after his dad. You're telling me we set all that up and we're not actually going to expand on any of it? cool. cool
And I am just . . . not that interested in his motivations as a religious family man or whatever. There are so many aspects of this character I want to see explored, and I just don't care enough about this new stuff that was introduced for him. Like yeah, I understand the point of it - on the surface he's trying to protect his family but what he really wants is to protect the facade he's built for himself. I get it, I find it vaguely intriguing, and it makes sense for his character, but imo it's not AT ALL the most interesting thing they could be doing with him, and it's worse because it's most likely coming at the cost of not exploring the things I've wanted them to explore since season 1.
#barry hbo#barry berkman#barry spoilers#like GOD the jim moss torture shit was such a good opportunity!!#they could've gone into so much more interesting stuff than 'oh no i'll never see my son again'#i mean let me clarify that i don't think a parent's fear for their child is an inherently boring storyline!! definitely NOT what i'm saying#but i don't find it interesting for barry specifically as like. a mental torture/hallucination device#it's this new thing that's just barely been introduced and if we have?? a fucking mental torture scene??? aka an angst goldmine???#i would've much rather had an exploration of more deep-seated issues#instead of an aspect of the character that only exists post-timeskip#if that makes sense#idk i guess the tldr is it just felt like a wasted opportunity to delve into much juicier stuff#show me barry's goddamn father-related childhood trauma i have waited SO LONG#op
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i'm like a real good writer
#personal log#i needed to skip ahead and write some power couple ending scenes#need to know where i'm headed to get to where i need to go yknow#listen i am WRANGLING canon to make power couple ending both plausible and tasteful#this bad boy can fit like SO many trust issues#sigh. avery is going to have to burn every single bridge isn't he#gonna tear himself down. you can't save me from wallowing in the mud if i throw myself in the pit first#AVERY PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!!!!#been playing with he finds a way to be one of solas' Many Agents#then the reveal is just like. 'here's your report boss' '(that one meme of dwight theoffice being startled.png'#but like with way higher stakes it won't be THAT boring#like im p sure the Needed Thing is avery would have to BLATANTLY betray what's left of the inq#and part of the operation is in itself sacrificing that piece on the board as it were#sigh. maybe solas highly suspected but didn't let him think about it too hard because goddamn he NEEDED someone that deep in the IC for this#and we all know his denial game can be off the fucking charts#and then it's like#'WHO ELSE WOULD IT FUCKING BE???'#whatever man#this shit isn't even going to be properly drafted for like... years. if i even get that far#sigh. much to consider#if you're still reading this come get your card punched. turn in 10 to get me to shut the fuck up
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can't believe i ever let people convince me brown eyes weren't beautiful
#big round brown eyes that sparkle with emotion#sharp brown eyes that are piercing and knowing#brown eyes that look black until the light hits them just right#light browns that remind you of marbles in the sunlight#i read so many things. heard so many times#people calling them boring#comparing them to mud and dirt and shit#i hated my eye colour and would be so distressed because i couldn't wear contacts either#so many girls i knew as a teenager wore colour contacts#because they felt that brown was boring and ugly#(there's a lot of race shit there too but we won't get into that)#brown eyes are so fucking gorgeous goddamn!!!
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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps
#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs#and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder#but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear#or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs#is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING#im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng#im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop#which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle#bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles#god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it#and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE#BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM#but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward#im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it#but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif#i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped#and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up#which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that#but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad#like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing#god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation#im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits#and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?
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