#acknowledging it doesn’t really make it better

[machveil]

I can't resist the siren call

Roommate!Simon Riley that low-key enjoys fucking with your friends Y/N

subtle foreshadowing… I suppose I can dip into my nsfw Roommate!Simon Riley thoughts

Roommate!Simon Riley who shares a laundry bin with you, it had been agreed a long time ago that just doing a big load would be easier. you takes turns, knowingly stealing each other’s clothes every couple days when the laundry is fresh out the machine. you know Simon took an oversized t-shirt you owned, but that’s okay, you took his favorite gym hoodie

Roommate!Simon Riley who doesn’t get embarrassed about his underwear being in the bin with yours, it’s all going in the machine anyways. that doesn’t stop him from raising an eyebrow though when his favorite boxers go missing. he was sure he put them in with the dirties, well, the cleans now. he figures the machine ate it, or maybe they’ll show up some day by chance - he shrugs it off and separates his clothes from yours, snagging one of your oversized sweaters to lounge in later

Roommate!Simon Riley who freezes when he sees you on the couch that night. eyes wide and jaw slack, he can’t bring himself to move. sat watching something on the tv - he can’t be bothered to acknowledge whats playing - he stares at you, wearing his boxers as shorts. “Hey, come watch this— I’ll catch you up since it just started. I’m not pausing it though so you better pay attention.”, your words are all in one ear and out the other. suddenly his legs are moving on their own, stopping in front of you. he doesn’t register what you’re saying, telling him to move because you can’t see the tv, but then he speaks

Roommate!Simon Riley whose voice is deliciously deep, a little raspy from how his throat suddenly feels dry, “S’that mine?”, he asks, eyeing his boxers. he’s never had such a hard time swallowing before, heartbeat erratic as you casually respond, “Huh— oh, yeah. They’re really comfy, the fabrics nice.”. fabrics nice, yeah, he knows. “You— ya know those are boxers, right love?”, he asks, hands twitchy as you reply, “Mhm, just borrowin’ them.”

CW: guilty wank, man is hopeless [kisses his cheek]

Roommate!Simon Riley who’s a mess after that interaction. you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him, but he’s losing it on the inside. he’s seen you be audacious with stealing his clothes before, taking his loose-fit tank tops that left little to the imagination on you, stealing clothes you knew he favored and parading around in them, but his boxers? that had him stalking back to his room, quick to turn on his heel before you could see his pants tent

he’s sweating, closes the door to his room a little harder than he meant to. god, he wants to go back out there and see you again, get an eyeful of how comfortable you looked - wearing his boxers like they were yours. you wouldn’t know, and he can’t help but think about it, but you had stolen his favorite pair. they’re plain, a simple black pair, something he bought at the store because he needed new underwear. but when you wear them? they suddenly looked different, makes his heart hammer against his chest. it feels like he walked out into the living room and you wearing lingerie, not something he got for fifteen pounds

he feels a little guilty, shoving his jeans down his thighs as he sits down on his bed. you’re home, sat in the living room just down the hall, and here’s Simon fishing his leaky cock out of his underwear. he really shouldn’t, he should sneak into the bathroom for a cold shower, think about war and blood and bullets to get his boner down. but he isn’t, he’s spitting into his palm and groaning, bringing his free hand up to cover his mouth - he’s never been good about keeping quiet. it’s not his fault you were out there wearing his clothes, you were the one that decided to look so— so cozy and content in your makeshift shorts. domestic

when that word settles at the forefront of his brain Simon’s hips jerk, you looked domestic, wanting to watch some show with him. his leg jolts slightly, hand moving to shallowly pump his weeping head. maybe your friends are right, Simon does take care of you - could bend you over and make you sob his name - he’s basically your boyfriend, often mistaken for your husband. his thighs tense when he imagines a ring on your finger— no, his dog tags hanging from your neck— god, holding you at night as an actual couple—

he’s choking out a moan, muffled and hoarse, as he coats his hand. eyes fluttering shut and breathing heavily, all his thoughts fly out the window as his cum drips down his fingers - all his thoughts except for one. he’s going to have to go back out there later to eat dinner with you, and oh, fuck, he sucks in a deep breath as he chubs up again

[toxicanonymity]

Hey Boo,

I've been seeing Joelkemons making the rounds being the best kind of dude to have around when you're crying.

Is Stepdad is having very strong feelings about all of this too? I imagine of Raider (LOML) and NW are being so soft with us, something in stepdad might respond to our hopelessly impotent rage.

I'd love to see how he reacts.

Boy howdy, tho, if I could slip into the brothel and have a big ol' Joel-pile, that shit would fix me all the way.

Thank you so much for everything you do and are.

I hope you're taking care of yourself too.

-- Cupquake <3

black tuesday

JOEL x f!READER | 1000 words

WARNINGS: 18+. Election Night. ANGST. Tears. Fears. This is intended to be a cathartic fic with some comfort but please don't read if it could be traumatic. Allusions to reproductive rights, etc. Reader is angry, esp. at men, takes it out on joel a little. Joel is supportive. Reader dacryphilia, brief smut. STEPDAD AU but you don't need to know it, and the stepcest doesn't come up.

NOTES: Sweet Cupquake, you're welcome and thank you for always being so supportive. Poor stepdad, he's normally the one needing comforting, isn't he? Yes, he has strong feelings about all this. This doesn't fit neatly in the AU timeline just roll with it. My brief post on the election is here. This will most likely be my only fic that overtly acknowledges the u.s. election. DO NOT INTERACT: TRUMP VOTERS, ANTI-CHOICE PEOPLE, MINORS.

You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment watching the news while Joel makes dinner and a huge mess in the kitchen. When the early votes are counted, we’ll see a lot more blue, they said. No, actually. Not really. You turn the volume way down so you can barely hear it. 

“Pasta’s ready,” Joel announces in a weak, sing-song voice. 

You remain on the floor. Your breathing is shallow, and it doesn’t feel real. 

Joel comes into the living room but doesn’t sit down. He stands with his arms crossed. His neck veins are bulging, his biceps are tense, his jaw clenches as he watches the screen. He’s pissed, he’s so angry watching this happen. He’s embarrassed to be a Texan. He thinks about all the women he knows. Embarrassed to be a man. 

He looks back and forth between the tv and you, and he sees your eyes are watery. He brings your glass of water from the kitchen, but you refuse it. He puts it down on the coffee table. Then, he picks up the remote control and turns off the tv. 

“Why’d you do that?” you snap. 

“It’s only makin’ ya sad,” Joel replies. “It’s still early, there’s time.” 

“Sad?? You think I’m sad?” Heat rises to your face. Your chest tightens.  

“Okay,” Joel acknowledges softly. “I can see you’re not just sad.” 

He sits down and tries to put his arm around you but you scoot over to face him. 

“All you men just go around blowing your loads everywhere and we’re the ones who have to deal with it, and you have the nerve to tell us how.” 

“I’d never tell you how to--you know that.”

“--I am so fucking tired of men talking.” 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, and sits quietly next to you for a minute. It’s hard knowing there’s nothing he can do or say, but he’s not going to leave you unless you tell him to. 

He clears his throat and asks softly, “Would anything make ya feel better?”

“Only waking up from this nightmare.”

“Yeah,” he acknowledges. 

“I don’t wanna feel better,” you begin to cry. “I want it to not happen….Like, is this real life?” 

None of it feels real. Months ago, people in stupid red hats were carrying around actual sperm cups. The highest-profile rapist in the country called himself the father of fertility, and crowds of people cheered. He said “mass deportation” and people cheered more. And then half the country voted for these sick, twisted buffoons. 

“You want some space?” Joel asks. 

“No,” you protest tearfully.

He hesitantly brushes the back of your neck with his thumb. This time, you let him put his arm around you. 

You whisper, “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“Sweetheart, it ain’t over. We got time.” 

You shake your head no, ‘cause you can feel it in your gut. 

Joel sits in silence for a moment, and you can’t see it, but he’s tearing up because he can feel you burning and he’s powerless. 

He holds you and strokes your back while you bury your face in his chest. He discreetly checks his new york times app and tries not to react out loud- it’s only getting worse. 

After a few minutes of silence, he whispers your name, and you respond, “mm?”

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. 

You look up to see his cheeks wet, his hair messy. Your heart swells with affection. Affection and… gratitude? God, the bar is in hell. But to be fair, you really love him. You’re grateful for the man he is, not the one he isn’t. 

Desire begins to stir in your chest.

Joel presses a kiss onto your forehead, then lifts your chin, and you look at each other. He brushes away a tear from your cheek. With his own cheeks still wet, he swallows, and the emotional bob of his Adam’s apple sends a rush of arousal to your core. You put your hand on the back of his neck and pull him toward you for a kiss. 

Affection and relief floods your body. It’s temporary, of course, but you let yourself have this. You let the nightmare fade into a spicy dream. 

You straddle him and he pulls you close and moans into your mouth. You kiss him desperately and feel him harden under you. He hesitates and mutters, “sorry,” trying to read the room. He pushes your thighs back, trying to put some distance between you and his hard-on. 

“Stop,” you reply, then latch onto his mouth again. He breaks away and says, “Just don’t want ya to feel like I–” 

“Shut up,” you tell him, then scoot yourself closer, your crotch firmly planted on the warm, stiffening shape in his sweatpants. You grind your hips into him. He kisses you back with increased fervor, and moans into your mouth. Kissing passionately, your loins throb warmly together and your hips move in rhythm. 

You reach between the two of you and slide your hand down his sweatpants. You palm his leaking manhood. Pressing it against his tummy, you gently move the skin on his shaft, and  He groans.

“Fuck,” he breathes, and thrusts against your hand. 

You stand up to urgently take off your pj pants. 

His man-guilt is still eating at him. Squeezing his aching hard shaft, he lets out a moan, then weakly offers, “Are you sure you wanna…”

In response, you straddle him, hot and dripping against his bare arousal.  You slide against him, throbbing and ready. Then, as you slide his tip to your entrance, you warn him, “Get it while it’s on the table.” You sink down on him and he shudders. Then he thrusts upward and moans as he bottoms out.  

“My legs’ll be closed for business soon,”  you explain. 

He closes his eyes and breathes deep as your body accommodates his.  “Fair enough,” he answers thoughtfully, then opens his eyes. “Wait. Even if my face is the customer?” 

------

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NOTES: I actually wrote three Stepdad things, and chronologically, this is no. 2 of 3. The others aren't posted yet. The first one is a standalone pregnancy scare, nothing about the election (would've been before it). And the second one is a post-election talk about contraception.

My brief post on the election is here.

Thank you for reading. Please remember to take care of yourselves <33

[murdrdocs]

INTERVIEW 030. KICK-ASS murdrtober 2024 remnants. sex machines

Really, you and Kick-Ass should have a handler. Maybe that would keep the two of you from getting into irresponsible, and frankly, odd, situations. Such as this one. 1k+ words MDNI 18+

God, this is so irresponsible. The two of you are irresponsible. 

You originally offered to team up with Kick Ass to watch each other’s backs and hold each other accountable. A team, albeit a small one, nothing comparable to Justice Forever.

No other superhero is as active as the two of you, and being alone was never a good look, especially for you. So you needed someone with you, someone strong and recognizable. Someone who sent a message to anyone who even had the idea to threaten you. 

Who better than Kick Ass? Plus, you thought he was reliable. Save for the brief stretch where everyone assumed he abandoned his patrols, Kick Ass had been a steady figure in the community, always there to help whoever needed it. In the idea you conjured up of him, he would be that sort of figure in private, too. Someone who would keep you from dicking around as soon as there was a lull on the streets. 

Someone who would keep your head straight on your shoulders. 

Unfortunately, Kick Ass seemed to be as much of a dumbass as you—possibly even more. 

“I mean … when else are you gonna have the opportunity to use something like this.”

And Kick Ass does have a point. The two of you already got what you came here for—a tiny harddrive tucked in your top that you know to have intel about the latest crime boss to terrorize your neighborhood. The penthouse is empty otherwise, and the owner shouldn’t be back for a while, considering she's serving time and all. 

You and Kick Ass have the place all to yourselves, but that shouldn’t matter. You should be leaving the way you came out, but as Kick Ass claims: where’s the fun in that?

“What’s it feel like?” 

You swallow a moan before attempting to respond, and even when you do, you speak methodically, trying to ward off the way your voice threatens to wobble. 

“It feels like I’m being fucked by a machine.”

Kick Ass scoffs. You watch him put his hands on his hips, the muscles in his back flexing. Has his suit shrunk in the wash, or is he just getting buffer by the day? Knowing Kick Ass, it could truly be either. His head turns to the side as if he’s about to turn around,  but he stops at the last minute, likely remembering that the one thing you had asked of him was to not look. 

“Well that’s not very descriptive.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want me to—” Whatever snarky comeback you were going to throw at him embarrassingly dies before it can be completely born. You can’t help but let out this moan, and to make matters worse, it’s loud. 

Louder than the mechanical whirring of the machine working. Louder than the squelch of your cunt sucking up the silicone dildo attached at the end of the mechanism. 

You think you see Kick Ass physically shudder, but you can’t tell when you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. 

“Is it …” Kick Ass hesitates. He clears his throat and tries again. “Is it better than … you know … a guy?” 

You don’t say anything for a minute, too busy trying to balance focusing on the pleasure and attempting to figure out where to go from here. Eventually, you simply say, “Kick Ass?”

When he says, “Yeah,” his voice cracks, but neither of you acknowledge it. 

“You can turn around.”

You expected him to question your change of heart. Maybe ask if you were sure. But he doesn’t. He just turns around, the heavy thud of his Timberlands knocking against the hardwood floors one after the other. 

You watch his light eyes settle on your face at first, and then slowly crawl down until he’s watching the faux-cock slip in and out of you. His lips part, a voiceless word slipping past them and out into the air. 

You don’t have to tell him to come closer, he does that completely on his own. He kneels beside you, attentive eyes flickering back and forth between your spread legs and your eyes with a slight squint that leads you to believe he might need glasses.

Whatever barrier that existed between the two of you before has been completely broken down. You’ll never come back from this, so you might as well feed into it. 

When you tell him to kiss you, he doesn’t hesitate. His gloved hands hold your face in place as he practically assaults his mouth with his. It’s sloppy, uncoordinated, and so hot. You’re feeding him moans and he quickly swallows them. You’re sliding your tongue and tongue, mimicking the action of licking ice cream. At one point, you suck Kick Ass’ tongue into your mouth, and he whimpers like a girl. You think he might wet like one, too. 

Only one way to find out. 

When you pull away, unattractively heaving in breaths of air, you ask him, “Do you wanna fuck me instead? Help me see which is better?”

The pressure is definitely on for him, but he’s so eager with the way he slips his suit and Timberland’s off that you don’t think this could go wrong. And you’re so, so right. 

Kick Ass’ eagerness is as useful as it is attractive. You expected his thrusts to be strong and jack hammering, and for a second it is, until you tell him to slow down and then he has passion behind it. Grinding his cock into you, sending all of his length deeper and deeper and gliding his girth along the ridges of your walls. It’s so much better than the unforgiving pace of the machine, and you make sure he knows, too. 

Scratching his back, threading your fingers into the curls you’d never seen before today, wrapping your ankles around his back and pulling him as deep as you can get him. You don’t know what you expected, but he certainly exceeds your expectations. 

He does wet like a girl, too.

And he’s loud. So vocal as he sings praises about how good your cunt feels (your pussy, as he calls it), how thankful he is that you’re letting him do this, how he’s thought of this ever since the two of you teamed up for the first time.

“I know, Kick-Ass,” you tell him, minutely nodding as you dig your fingernails into the cushion beneath you. “I know. Me too.”

“Dave,” he corrects.

You tell him your name, and then not even a second later you’re moaning his name. He slumps forward, nestling his head into the crook of your neck. His hand comes to the top of your head, holding you to him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“You close?”

You nod, your nose brushing against his shoulder as your breathing increases. “I’m so close, Dave.”

“Yeah? You gonna come?” Dave asks, and you can hear the smile when he says it.

You hit him, because you just said that, but all of the strength in your body is focused on getting you there so it’s nothing more than a weak punch that actually makes him laugh.

“Prove it to me,” he taunts, the competitive side to him that you're so used to coming out. “C’mon. Show me.”

[babybluebae-933]

I haven’t heard a word you’ve said, and… I’ll get you to Vulcan somehow.

One day I will write an entire essay about this moment but for now this is all I have in me.

This is the kindest thing Kirk could have said to Spock in this moment, and it shows how well Kirk knows him. He doesn’t try to convince him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed about it (well he does at first, Vulcans are not the birds and the bees captain) he doesn’t try to convince him to be logical about it. Being embarrassed is SO illogical and Spock fucking knows that and reminding him of that fact would only make it worse.

He literally begs to be locked away, he begs Kirk to basically take him out back and put him out of his misery old yeller style. SPARE him the indignity of explaining himself to anyone or being subjected to the will of his own deep dark desires and motives. Kirk orders him to explain and Spock says no that some things transcend even the discipline of the service (then Kirks like ok what if I pinky promise I won’t tell and Spocks like ok fine, which is also so cute but a whole other thing) either way it’s obvious he would literally rather die than tell anyone what’s going on, and he’s actively trying to run away from it.

I thought I would be spared the indignity… but the ancient drives are too strong, eventually it catches up.

This is why Kirk is so special, and this is why he understands Spock better than anyone else. Humans have pride, humans have ego. Spock decided to live the Vulcan way and swear off all that stuff but it’s still inside him. We can assume one of two things, either he truly never has any emotions, or he has them but won’t show them. And God damn if being that fucking stubborn isn’t the most human thing about him. I can’t remember which episode it is but some other time when a red shirt is laying into him for being so cold and insensitive Bones gets defensive, and Spock says it’s okay doctor-

Sometimes they forget I’m half human too.

You can be half human, but you can’t be half Vulcan, you can’t be “half” emotionless. He would be ashamed to let the mask slip, and he’s ashamed that he would feel shame for this. For showing his human nature, because that is the MOST un-Vulcan thing to do. What do they expect from him? To show his feelings would be humiliating, hiding them gets him ridiculed, they bully him for it, yet no one ever treats him as if he could have any feelings about the matter at hand, whatever it may be.

When Spock is insisting that he never feels such trivial emotions as anger or annoyance or fear he is convincing himself as much as anyone else, that is his comfort. It’s true as long as he and everyone else believes it. It’s his comfort and everyone else’s in some cases; if all else fails we can at least count on Spock being cold and logical.

It’s no use to convince him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed because it’s natural or because it happens to everyone or whatever the reason is; because

Spock knows that already. Biology and nature are factual and neutral

Spock knows that being embarrassed is totally illogical

He also knows that being embarrassed especially about something that IS so natural and normal is super-duper un-Vulcan like

The human side of him is what makes him defend his emotionality (non-emotionality?) with such fervor. Motherfucker is so stubborn and so prideful, so Vulcan, but distinctly human.

To assure Spock “aw it’s okay buddy don’t be embarrassed it happens to everyone!” would be a triple knife; acting like he doesn’t know that the facts of life are neutral, unavoidable, and imminent. Acknowledging that he is embarrassed which is so non-Vulcan. AND telling him how being embarrassed especially about this particular instance is extra illogical.

Kirk gets all that, he knows Spock gets all that, and he sees him for who he really is, not the human side or the Vulcan side, just Spock. So, he gives him a very specific brand of mercy, “None of this ever happened, I saw nothing. But now I at least know enough to help you.”

(If we want to take this further I could also remind you of the Edith Keeler conversation when Kirk basically tells her that “let me help” means more than “I love you”.)

I just love this moment so much and I love them.

[rosewaterandpinkseasalt]

if we’re going with that though—do we think steven would really figure that out during the timeline of the show? we only see him up until the age of sixteen. he’s processing everything he’s been through (which is a lot) and he’s in a terrible mental state. i think this is something he’s going to reflect on & really figure out in post canon. if anything, a tiny silver lining is that the end of canon reminds young people that they don’t need to have all their traumas resolved right away! his relationship, too, is something he’s still working on but we can kind of tell they’re always going to be together.

i can’t help but sympathize with steven & as someone who’s older than him i really like how you always acknowledge the outside perspective! lots of rose haters see the show from steven’s perspective and forget that they can have an outside one, too. i try to look at both.

through steven’s eyes, he has a whole belief system set up and so much happens throughout his adolescence that, while he changes and goes through unimaginable things, he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. he starts to only see extremes. he started off with imagining rose as this perfect mother for comfort, and then he learns things about her that are quite alarming (i.e., bismuth being bubbled, not telling garnet and ame and dad about being a diamond) and feels this bitterness & anger. he even begins to question if she’s a bad person. it’s going to take awhile for him to process and figure out everything.

in a very similar way, he has trouble with how he feels about himself. he grew up isolated from lots of kids & finding out he was a protector & a healer, but as time goes on he struggles with self blame and self doubt. he begins focusing so much on protecting others that he forgets about himself—which makes him lose some self awareness, too.

so, when he’s in fight or flight like that and he needs to make a last minute decision, he chooses something that’s extremely self destructive but with the intention to protect the person he loves most. & that’s interesting to me because he’s not only reminding me of one mom here—he’s reminding me of pearl, too.

situations involving life or death & fight or flight, when the person already has lots of unresolved trauma and mental health issues… these situations can easily bring out some troubling aspects of people.

i have so much empathy for steven & pearl that i can’t bring myself to say that they were bad hurtful partners—really, they were being self destructive. & i think connie and rose were upset but more so because they were worried about their partners and they couldn’t do anything to protect them. it’s not something that would end their relationships or lessen trust—but it’s definitely a good example of how putting your loved ones over yourself & not having self compassion can cause issues when they feel the same amount of love for you & want to protect you, too.

@selkie-soup you know steven & connverse better than i do, but this situation is just very interesting to me and i thought i would chime in! i hope this is soup approved :3

it irks me so much when people act like Connie is in the wrong for how she acted after the trial. It ignores three things. One- Connie is 12, of course she won't act "perfect". Two- she tried to talk to him irl but Steven was at the cabin with the gems + his dad. Three- Connie has a right to take space, even if it was in her best interest it's not unreasonable she was hurt. She wanted to be there for him and they promised to protect each other (not to mention if any of Pearl's ideology still effected her) and she felt like their promise was broken. It was for the best she was left behind but she can still have complex feelings about the topic.

[methinmycoffee]

Season 6 rankings!

From Best to Worst:

A Ladder To Heaven (Ep. 12)

Free Hat (Ep. 9)

Professor Chaos (Ep. 6)

The Simpsons Already Did It (Ep. 7)

Child Abduction is Not Funny (Ep. 11)

Red Hot Catholic Love (Ep. 8)

Bebe’s Boobs Destroy Society (Ep. 10)

The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (Ep. 13)

The Death Camp of Tolerance (Ep. 14)

My Future Self ‘N’ Me (Ep. 16)

Fun With Veal (Ep. 4)

The Biggest Douche in the Universe (Ep. 15)

Red Sleigh Down (Ep. 17)

Freak Strike (Ep. 3)

Asspen (Ep. 2)

The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer (Ep. 5)

Jared has Aides (Ep. 1)

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

It’s just that “Better Than Revenge” is messy and angry, but also so very human and that’s okay. It’s disappointing to me that she felt the need to rewrite her own history on an album about saying exactly what you feel and water down her very human feelings she once had as a teenager. Her anger should be allowed to exist even though the target of it was misplaced, which was purely a product of society seeing that women were led to see each other as competition when it came to romance. She’s clearly shown that she’s changed her thinking from when she originally penned the song over a decade ago with what she said about “august” during the Long Pond Sessions and all of her work since Speak Now.

[worstloki]

Jujutsu Kaisen asks many important questions such as: mentally healthy daughters that are happy but racist OR son that isn’t racist but is so mentally unwell he rarely smiles and has no will to live

[headfullof-ideas]

I was gonna respond to @httyd-nerd in the reply section of my last Httyd/The Deep post, but it was getting long so I’m just putting it here where I can further elaborate on my frustrations and dilemma.

Part of writing this crossover is figuring out how characters from opposite shows will react and get along with one another. And to the surprise of who knows who else but absolutely not me, Alpheus has been a bit tricky in figuring this out. This might be a tangent on how I view his character, especially in how I write him, but partly to demonstrate how FRUSTRATED he’s making me.

Alpheus is not my favorite character. He’s not my least favorite, not by far. He’s just not my blorbo like I know he is for others. But he is an interesting character to write entirely because of how layered and flawed he is. He’s the epitome of an unreliable narrator, he thinks fairly high of himself and his own abilities, and has a lot of unresolved issues he refuses to resolve because he’s way too paranoid to get help. This makes for interesting relationships with other characters.

Except I’m really struggling with figuring out how he may get along with Dagur. It doesnt’ help that Dagur in this story, specifically the start, is a mix of his later RTTE counterpart, and his early version. He’s still deranged, but he’s enthusiastically optimistic to the point of coming across as insane too, and a bit softer because he grew up with Heather, and started dragon riding WAY earlier than he did in the show. Dagur and Alpheus are a bit similar to me in that they’re both the slightly mentally unbalanced enemy to the main protagonists, who are redeemed later down the line. Unfortunately, to me, I feel that’s where similarities wind up ending. They’ve got different personalities and goals and ways of going about them. They’ve got different backgrounds, and talents. And in some ways I can actually see them clashing. And it’s mostly because of Alpheus’s own flaws, for me at least.

Alpheus is an interesting character, and the few times I’ve written him he’s always been really fun because of how I dive into his psyche and how he perceives things. He’s a dramatic loser who instigates a rivalry with a thirteen year old, naming the thirteen year old his nemesis, and then loses to said thirteen year old hundreds of times. He’s probably wanted for a few felonies because of all the times he’s hacked the WOA and who knows who else, and might not even exist in the name of the law because we don’t know how long he was with the Guardians. This guy might not even have a birth certificate. Alpheus is an interesting character, and I’ve grown to like working with him…thing is he’s got a bit of a stick up his butt in regard to himself. He’s arrogant about his own intelligence, certainly being very intelligent, running his sub and modifying ARIA with little issues from a relatively young age, and evading all authorities for a very long time. But he’s socially stupid because he was raised by the Guardians, and I don’t think he was ever faced with the challenge of learning something from someone smarter than him, let alone interacting with someone as smart as or smarter than him. I think for the longest time Alpheus was the smartest person in the room, and never had to deal with someone actually challenging his own intellect. This isn’t helped with him not having an idea on how to respectfully talk to other people either.

Connected to that, Alpheus kind of brushes off anyone he doesn’t deem worth his time. His main focus was always finding Lemuria and getting the device (as he never actually learns what it is) to control the Monumentials, and also his somewhat one-sided rivalry with Ant. Ant was the only character I really remember him actually acknowledging. When he first met Fontaine, he just brushed off her attempts at breaking into his sub like she were a tiny, pesky fly, and he never really acknowledged her beyond being a nuisance through the rest of the show. I remember when Kaiko was mad about something (i don’t specifically remember the episode) he just commented ‘Mothers. So emotional.’ Didn’t really acknowledge her. I don’t even really remember any interaction he’s had with Will, which just adds to this. When they’re dealing with the Jellyfish Monumential, he brushes off everything Kaiko says, which can be alluded to spending a few months alone and losing his mind trying to escape, but there were other times he doubted her skills and abilities, specifically her piloting maneuvers when it came to escaping the Jellyfish. Even though, with his stalking tendencies, he had to know she was an accomplished submarine pilot. But he couldn’t do anything to escape, so why should she be able to do anything? Whenever Ant or anyone else opposed what Alpheus said was fact, he always kind of dismissed them, because I think in his mind there was no way they knew better than him. He only ever focused on Ant because he said himself that Ant was worthy of being his nemesis, or something along those lines, i don’t remember the specific words. But to me, he just always brushes off anyone he doesn’t see as worth his time and effort, doesn’t take them as seriously.

Which is where it’s hard for me to figure out his dynamic with Dagur. Dagur is an accomplished warrior, and certainly no idiot. He’s smart in his own right, and proved to be a real problem for Berk and the Riders many times. He was no Hiccup in regard to intelligence, but he’s not stupid. He’s got a bit of a temper, an obsession with being obsessed with everything he does, and doesn’t really give up ever. Man hounded Hiccup for four years to be his brother until Hiccup finally accepted the adoption. But he’s got Deranged in his name, and I just can’t help but think that Alpheus might not think too highly of him. Dagur’s plans are a lot more thought on the fly while following a loose rubric he came up with five minutes before hand, with a lot more brute strength, whereas Alpheus plans with his head and ahead of time. I just can’t help but think that Alpheus wouldn’t immediately respect Dagur, thinking he’s a crazy lunatic who doesn’t think anything through (which isn’t entirely wrong), and isn’t smart enough to understand anything Alpheus says. I think he’d just dismiss anything Dagur says about anything going on, especially when it comes to planning, which would drive Dagur insane, as he is quick to rise with a temper sometimes. I see them clashing at first, because Alpheus is still Alpheus and is obsessed with Ant, except by that point Dagur has claimed Ant as his brother, and he was there first(which now that I’m thinking about it, opens up some interesting potential for Alpheus and Viggo interacting. Viggo is essentially an older, more experienced, and grounded Alpheus after all, who also has prior interaction with Ant). I think it would take Dagur coming up with something that forces Alpheus to acknowledge that no, he’s not actually stupid, for things to change, but where they change I don’t know, because Alpheus is filled with pride and an inability to admit he’s wrong, and Dagur is a proud Berserker, in every aspect.

I do see Dagur getting a kick out of messing with Alpheus, which just pisses Alpheus off.

[starbuck]

I remember back when The Mountain Goats No Children was a meme on here seeing a post that went “I hope you live, i hope we both live,” and it making me SO angry…

And this was before I had ever even listened to the song (or anything by TMG for that matter), but now, knowing that John wrote the song, and specifically the line “I hope you die, I hope we both die” in response to radio overplay of the sugary sweet I Hope You Dance, I feel even more vindicated, because like.

Yes. Ultimately my overall life philosophy is that I hope we all live… I would hope that goes without saying. But No Children isn’t a life philosophy. It’s about how sometimes everything sucks and you feel like shit and trapped and hopeless and angry and I HOPE YOU DIE, I HOPE WE BOTH DIE!!!!!!!!! And who can’t relate to that? Who has NEVER felt like that in their lives??????

I feel a little silly accusing what was ultimately just a joke meme post of Toxic Positivity, but that was the vibe I was getting from it, which is why it made me mad. As though it was sticking up its nose at a song it clearly had no understanding of and going “well I hope we both LIVE 😇😇” and like. Fuck you lol. It’s okay to feel negative emotions. It’s okay to be angry.

[gch1995]

Why do you care about Vader's feelings so much? He doesn't deserve dignity. I hope Lucasfilm makes a story where he's captured by the Rebellion and brutally tortured until he's crying for Shmi. They'll use force suppressing devices and make him feel like the worthless slave he is

I care because Star Wars is primarily Anakin’s story, whether you like it or not. I care because Luke’s entire character arc in the OT films is pointless if Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda were always meant to be the perfect mentors, who did nothing wrong. I care, not just about Anakin’s feelings, but the feelings of every other Jedi recruit who had serious issues with the way the old Jedi Order and Republic operated.

I care, because if the Jedi are supposed to be the good guys, in spite of their flaws, then we should ultimately be rooting for them to rise again with Luke Skywalker. Because Anakin’s arc and feelings in the prequels are no longer treated as valid in the Disney era of Star Wars, that means Obi-Wan and Yoda are treated as being completely right all along, and the new Jedi Order cannot grow with Luke Skywalker in the current canon. The same bad choices and mistakes keep being made in the current canon because he follows his blatantly misguided predecessors, which was not implied at the end of the OT movies at all. While I would never agree that mass murder/genocide is the answer to deal with stopping them, because the current canon narrative ignores all the serious issues Anakin and his predecessors had, at least in part, because of the blatant corruption within the Order and Republic they grew up amongst, I’m also not too thrilled that Luke rebuilt the Order because he’s repeating all of their misguided choices and practices in current canon as a result.

[cetoddle]

i love my new therapist so much cause she’s the first person i’ve ever met who takes me seriously when i talk about suicide even though i don’t have a concrete plan and haven’t actually made any attempts yet

[rahabs]

I’m glad my expectations for Veilguard were low, especially from a writing perspective, because instead of anger now I only feel disappointment that even my already low bar wasn’t met.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

my cat when i get up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and walk by his “empty” food bowl without refilling it

[heartshpedfx]

I support Armand's fanfic

(I think he fucked Lestat but not in that way he described necessarily)

he ABSOLUTELY fucked lestat but i don’t think it was in one of the theatre boxes in front of nicki, to me that just doesn’t seem like lestats style

[hwsforeignrelations]

Everybody learns at their own pace everybody learns in their own time everybody everybody learns at the time best for them everybody-