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kenzieluvsnanami · 14 days

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kenzieluvssukuna :: personaltrainer!sukuna x thick!reader (18+) ☆

desc ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖ ever since you were young, you've struggled with your weight - it becoming one of your biggest insecurities. now as an adult, you actually have the financial freedom to invest into yourself leading you to start going your local gym. you end up running into someone who was willing to help you... the only problem was that he didn't seem as invested in your weight loss as you were. cw ✧✩₊˚. modern/no curses au, body image insecurity, fatshaming🙄, sukuna knows how to use a phone, slow burn-ish (they don't smash in this part), mastúrbation (f), séxting // 3.5k wc // part 2

“Are you sure you should eat that?” “You would be so much prettier if you just dropped a few pounds.” “You’ll never date anyone looking like that!”

Ever since you were young, all the people in your life ever seemed to be concerned with was your weight - whether that be murmured judgements amongst themselves or just directly to your face. At first it used to upset you, the ostracisation making you feel like there was permanently a spotlight on you no matter where you went; strangers silently judging you, making assumptions or just flat out insulting you.

If you wanted to go out to a restaurant, it felt like you were be shamed out of eating anything that could be deemed as “unhealthy”. Shopping for clothes was a difficulty - irregular clothing sizes meaning that the majority of your teenage shopping trips ended with you tearing up in the changing room as you fought with many a pair of stupid jeans that fit your calves perfectly well, but as you tugged them up to your plush thighs they got painfully stuck; your mom having to intervene and haul the wretched things back down.

As you grew out of adolescence and into adulthood, you quickly learnt how to mask the insecurity and self-doubt you had accumulated, leaning fully into the “funny, fat friend” role. You kept a fake smile plastered on your face as friends and family lamented on about the woe’s of constantly being approached by men and how lucky you were that you didn’t have to worry about that.

You weren’t nearly as perturbed with your appearance as others seemed to be, puberty being instrumental in recomposing your juvenile body to its current physique - majority of your fat moving to fill out your hips and bust. You definitely still had a tummy and back rolls but the thickness of your thighs and generous glutes were something that you felt your friends were at least a little envious of, often catching them gawking at the way your hips swayed as you walked or how your breasts jiggled as you moved your hands around.

Regardless of your growing acceptance of your larger body size, there were still times when you felt like that young girl who was relentlessly bullied and mocked due to something as superficial as how she looked. You wanted to move on from ever feeling like that again, which is what lead you to start going to the gym.

If you could mould yourself, to how other’s wanted you to look and be seen as not even beautiful but just normal - maybe you wouldn’t have this heaviness in your heart, maybe you would finally feel fully accepted by the people in your life and maybe you’d not constantly feel on edge when in public or open spaces.

Your first few trips to the gym were pretty mundane. You made sure to properly stretch before attempting weighted exercise - deep squats and hip flexors being your favourite warm-up, the slight tension and warm rush of blood flow putting you in the perfect mind frame for a challenging but rewarding workout.

The routine and order that the gym was able to give you didn’t just help you to achieve your goal of weight-loss but also caused a drastic improvement to your mental health; your brain being able to just.. switch off as you pounded your feet into the conveyer belt of the treadmill.

However, your gym session a couple weeks ago was is were things started to change.

You sauntered in, light pink hydroflask complementing your pastel two-piece - a sports bra with interweaving straps around your back for increased support and cycling shorts that nicely hugged your ample hips and gave your rear a helpful lift.

Making your way to the padded area used for low impact exercise, you got to work. Starting out with a deep stretch in your hamstrings and then working back up to your upper hips. As you leant back up from a standing toe touch, you felt an intimidating presence looming over you. You stumbled back slightly, eyes flitting upwards to take in this unwelcome interruption.

The first thing you noted was that he was muscular - corded muscles rippling as he squatted down to meet your gaze. He had thick, black markings all over his body from what you could tell, two lines on both his upper thighs and forearms being the only visible ones currently, peaking out from his snug fitting compression shirt and loose training shorts.

He even had it on his face, symmetrical lines running from the top of his jaw down to his chin meeting in a small triangle alongside a pointed line across his nose. His hair was almost the same colour as your bottle - a soft pink that seemed almost contradictory to his hard exterior.

“Your form.” He grumbled. You blinked back, not really grasping what he was trying to say.

“For God’s sake, your form woman! Are you trying to get injured or something?” His dark eyes observed you with something that was… unfamiliar. You were used to people looking at you with disgust or even pity but he looked at you with a genuine curiosity.

“You keep rounding your back. That will cause you more harm than good in the long term” he continued on, not seeming to take your lack of response as a deterrent.

“Stand up.”

It was unclear to you why you were mindlessly following this random man’s instructions but nevertheless you humoured him - following his sharp commands as he directed you into a form that was better suited to your body type, taking into account your larger proportions which allowed for a much deeper and satisfying stretch. You went to crane your head up as you heard the man’s voice behind you.

“Aht- I never said you could move” he chided, reaching out a large, calloused palm to press you back down into the corrected pose. “I was enjoying the view.”

It took you a moment to understand the implication of what he meant, cheeks burning as you stood up properly. “I don’t think I got your name..?”

He smirked, passing you a card with his name and number on “…'name’s Sukuna, I work as a personal trainer at this gym sometimes.”

He paused, shamelessly looking you up and down - pretty much just eye-fucking you in the middle of the gym. “if you ever need someone to help you work out, ‘m here.” He sauntered off, not even bothering to wait for your response.

The rest of your workout was spent mulling over the intriguing man you had just met. Whilst his methods were… unconventional and he could be a little assertive, he clearly knew a lot more about the gym than you and could be quite useful?

When you got back to your place, the first thing you did was take a good look at the card he had given you, saving the number on the back and sending him a quick message.

…

you: heyyy, it’s the girl you helped at the gym today! tysm for ur advice, it was really useful. :) would you be free anytime this week to help me with some leg workouts?

sukuna: i remember you

sukuna: do you want to look like this?

sukuna: [image attachment]

…

Unsure of what he was really talking about, you immediately clicked the image expecting it to be a photo of a previous client who was in a similar position or honestly anything but a selfie of his glistening torso.

Black markings continuing down from his shoulders meeting into the middle of his pectorals, two symmetrical pointed lines running deep along his tensed abs, an arm slightly raised to show the circle on the top of his deltoid. He was in a dark room but the flash from the camera gave you a good view of his lap - legs spread wide, the grey sweatpants he was wearing allowing you to see everything.

…

sukuna: so?

…

You were…stunned to say the least. I mean you did get the vibe that he was checking you out but you weren’t used to men being so forward with you. You genuinely wanted him to help you work out though so you responded back earnestly stating that whilst you did appreciate his physique, you weren’t trying to completely change the way you looked - you had actually grown from your original aim of going to the gym just for weight loss and wanted to instead focus on improving your stamina and muscle gain, any pounds shed from that alone would be satisfactory for you.

…

sukuna: i understand

sukuna: lets meet tuesday

sukuna: i have the perfect workout for you

…

The wait for Tuesday to come felt absolutely agonising. The day before you had actually gone through your closet looking for your cutest gym set to wear, spending hours agonising over whether you should go for a unitard that clung tightly to your curves or one of your more… skimpier sets that allowed for a little recoil when you moved.

Whilst you knew this definitely wasn’t a date and had already come to the conclusion that Sukuna was certainly the type of trainer to flirt with all his clients - this gym session definitely felt charged in some kinda way.

You walked into the gym that Tuesday quite apprehensive; bringing your light blue hydroflask this time to better match with the set you decided on, a cropped slim fit shirt and looser pair of shorts (to allow for greater range of motion but it does help they also show the underside of your ass).

As soon as you stepped into the gym, you spotted the pink-haired man standing in the padded area you normally start in, his eyes dragging up your frame; a slow grin spreading across his lips as he beckoned you over with two of his fingers.

The walk to him felt like an eternity, dark eyes tinged with a streak of red as he unreservedly studied you - eyes flitting down to the high cut of your shorts, ass jiggling with every step you took.

You felt blood rush to your face, Sukuna’s ogling making you feel so shy. You finally reached him, his hooded gaze rendering you speechless for a good minute or so as the two of you just looked at each other silently.

“Hello to you too” He sniggered, turning to the side to reveal the assortment of weights he had selected for today’s workout. “This is going to be the hardest workout of your life.”

“Sounds good!” you innocently beamed, always being up for a good challenge and it seemed like Sukuna was willing to give you one.

“Woman, I don’t think you understand,” He wiped a hand over his jaw, seeming to be finding your misguided enthusiasm hilarious, “…’nless, you are some kind of masochist - there is no chance you’ll enjoy this”

You looked up at him after he said this, smile faltering slightly at the sight of the very poorly hidden smirk on his face. He was really going to try push you to your limit but… he didn’t know how stubborn you could be.

The two of you went through the warm-up smoothly enough, Sukuna’s critical eye spotting the myriad of mistakes you were making; hands sliding against the soft, contours of your body to position you in the correct positions.

It was hard to remind yourself where you were when his broad palms reached around the expanse of your thighs, lingering in the inner crevices as he squeezed lightly to encourage you to push back against him to deepen your stretch. You really couldn’t tell whether Sukuna was affected in the same way you seemed to be, his previously heated gaze being replaced with a much calmer and cooler one - his focus seeming to be on making this workout the “hardest one of your life”.

You then moved onto weights, the main target of the day being glutes as requested by you. Sukuna had queried about what muscle groups you targeted least and from there promised to make you a future guide to help you work them out more; but explained that today he would start with something familiar, “I don’t want to scare you off.”

To help improve your weight lifting form, he would model how he wanted you to position yourself and then get you to copy him. This would have been extremely helpful if you were actually paying attention to what he was doing, your mind being more focused on the way his muscles flexed and relaxed as he moved into the poses; you could literally see the tendons wrapping and twisting as he dropped into a squat, thighs flattening out as adductors tensed up creating a deep crevice in the middle.

“Woman.” he growled, dragging you out of your daydream. “I know you didn’t just call me here to lust over my body.” He made eye contact with you through the mirror in front, “You could’ve just come to mine if that was the case”.

Sukuna really knew how to make you flustered, whether that be on purpose or that just being his personality. You couldn’t really decipher whether he actually meant what he said or if his matter-of-fact tone just made everything flirtatious. It didn’t help that he really didn’t mind getting up close and personal with his training, hands securely gripping your sides as you held two dumbbells above your head, gently easing into a weighted squat. He made you do this 20 times - your body trembly and achy by the 15th rep.

“Sukuna….I don’t think I can do anymore” you wheezed, beads of sweat running down from your hairline.

“Don’t be a baby” he muttered into your ear, causing you to suddenly become hyperaware of his proximity to you; his body essentially caging you in as he helped to pull you down. You shivered slightly, willing your body to focus on the really heavy fucking weights above your head and not the man hovering behind you. You flicked your eyes back up to the mirror to centre yourself only to find Sukuna’s eyes glued to your rear - the squat position you were currently in making it look even bigger than normal, your spread legs isolating each cheek with the sliver of undercheek peeking out tensing up into your thigh due to your poor balance.

It was kinda comical to see how transfixed he was - eyes completely blacked out with his grip becoming slightly tighter as you dipped lower and lower. As you came back up you tipped yourself forward purposefully to seem as if you were going to fall over. Snapping out of his daze, Sukuna fully pulled you back into his chest; lower back brushing up against his semi-hard length as your weights clattered against the floor. You turned your head upwards to try and catch his eye only to find him already staring back down at you, face stern, “S-Stop messing around, woman.” He barked out, swiftly moving to create some distance between the two of you.

The rest of the workout continued without much interference from yourself or Sukuna; the second half primarily consisting of cardio which meant that little guidance was actually needed. Whilst you were grateful for his assistance, you couldn’t help but feel like you wanted something more - missing the physical contact that was so prevalent at the beginning of your workout.

“All done!” you smiled as the machine slowed to a stop, your gruelling 30 minutes on the stair-master finally being over. You staggered over to the pink-haired man who was lazily lounging on the couch at reception, proud that you had struggled your way through his workout and lived to tell the tale.

“Why are you so…happy?” He looked mildly conflicted, impressed that you had managed to make it through his workout but disappointed that he hadn’t managed to break you.

“’Cause I completed your workout, silly” He found the cheesy grin on your face infuriatingly cute, the way your your eyes crinkled up and dimples poked out actually making his heart beat slightly faster.

“I’m not silly, brat.” He spat out, hand moving down to ruffle your hair, much to your annoyance.

“Since you found this workout so easy, let’s see how you find the one at my house.”

Oh.

The look on Sukuna’s face was akin to the likes of a predator that had just caught its prey; a wide, malfeasant grin plastered on his face as his eyes went to a darkened black.

He was talking about… oh.

You could literally feel yourself dripping as you glanced up at Sukuna, mouth dry as he strolled out of the gym silently - looking back with a gleam in his eyes as the doors to the gym slid shut.

The drive home was quiet, mind reeling at the sudden turn of events. Yes, Sukuna had been very flirty during your interactions but you never thought it was going to escalate to this point where he essentially invited you round… to fuck.

You got home, showered, changed, ate and tucked yourself in for bed in a daze, thoughts still scrambled as you tossed and turned desperately trying to turn off your racing thoughts.

DING

Your hand reached out to grasp your phone. You knew that it could only be one person texting you at this hour.

…

sukuna: mine friday @ 8?

sukuna: unless you don't want to see more of this

sukuna: [image attachment]

…

Oh, he definitely did not waste any time. Your finger raced to click open the attachment, the picture this time being a selfie from a lower angle showcasing a little more of the pink-haired man’s lower body; boxers pulled down to show you his harsh v-line and happy trail that confirmed that the curtains do match the drapes. You could see the the small veins wrapping around his flexed forearm as he twisted his arm to the side to show the sheer amount of muscle he had managed to build in just that one area, bicep almost tripling in size.

As much as you wanted to pretend his excessive showmanship didn’t impress you, your body was telling a different story; thighs slowly rubbing together as you felt heat rush down between your legs.

…

sukuna: i know what you are doing

sukuna: show me.

…

Sheets pushed to the side, you pulled down your shorts with an inhumane level of strength. Something about how self-assured and confident he was just made you horny. The way he just told you what to do and you actually did it was something you didn’t realise you’d liked so much until now, your body trembling with need.

You started filming, a hand spreading apart your folds as the one holding the phone drew closer to showcase how drenched you already were. Your swollen clit was red and angry, begging for attention as your fingertips slowly skimmed along the edges of your cunt. As much as you wanted to wanted to give Sukuna a real show, you also really wanted to come. Eventually, you brought two fingers to your sensitive clit and smeared all of the slick you had gathered before, just the mere pressure making you groan lowly in pleasure. You leisurely started to build up speed, fingers readjusting to allow you to prod into your tight hole, fingers pressing up against your walls in a way that only allowed you to squeeze down onto them.

Your room was filled with the sounds of your quiet whimpers and moans as the pressure in the lower half of your body started to build up more and more to the point where you were about to climax. Your breathing became shallower and was replaced by heavy pants as you tried to evade the inevitable for a little longer, not wanting to stroke Sukuna’s ego any further by coming almost immediately at the sight of him.

Right when you couldn’t hold back any longer you decided to cut the video - he could see you come when the two of you meet on Friday. Until then, he’d have to be satisfied with your video.

You sent the video and threw your phone on the bed, left hand joining your right in plunging into your cunt; your body arching away from the bed as you reached your peak and came hard, gushing out all over your sheets.

Your head felt fuzzy as you lay there for a moment, the only sound in the room being your phone rapidly buzzing.

…

sukuna: fuck

sukuna: you look so good

sukuna: cant believe you cut it there

sukuna: what a little tease

sukuna: you'll see what i do to women who tease me.

…

Friday could not come sooner.

part 2

a/n ✧✩₊˚. ive been binge watching industry and wow being a banker actually seems interesting wtf.. i had to cancel my gym membership cause im moving for uni and i miss it so much i cant wait to start going again 😜

#kenzieluvssukuna #kenzieluvs #jjk #jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jujutsu kaisen smut #sukuna x reader #jjk sukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna smut #sukuna smut

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scentedpeachlandcreator · 2 months

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Guide for manifesting weight loss:

So an Anon asked me to make this and here it is, it will help others too.

As we all know that we often struggle with achieving our weight goal,doing workout,keeping a strict diet and eating healthy etc...

All of this was created by man, a man-made creation like Times, Machines, names, studies, science and many more.

And of course this was all coming from the imagination.

But i'm here to tell you that nothing is set in stone, your beliefs/assumption are the true fact.

Don't do things that you don't want to, just for you to loss weight ,because some non loa-believe people told you to.

Do whatever you want! Cause you make the rules and you control your own reality.

And you should be grateful that you discovered loa out of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE that are living miserably, believing that they should work hard to have what they want, following society rules.

Knowing your true power:

You need to understand that you are what we call God ,an Infinite being that could do anything without limitation.

You Can be whoever you want, get anything you want and more, even manifest the most illogical things, and this all because you're a consciousness that Can decide whoever version of themselves is gonna be.

But does God need to follow the rules? Does god need to do method? Does god need to do challenge? NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUR MIND TELLS YOU TO, HELL! EVEN YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN RULES AND METHOD.

YOU ➜ God (imagination) ➜ create your own rules and method and Can manifest anything you want into your reality.

You Can be a model, having that pretty face, being a billionaire, living in that penthouse, having a yacht, fancy car, being with your handsome/pretty SP, having that perfect body. Having superpowers, having a little fairy, having a Magic portal in your room and swimming in money and MANY MORE.

All of that with what? Without even Lifting a single little finger, everything you ever wanted already EXIST, there's many versions of yourself with your desires, and with just that pretty powerful mind of yours.

Understanding the Law:

The law of assumption indicate that whatever you assume to be true will Harden into fact with persistence.

Manifesting your desires into the physical reality just requires you to change your inner self so that the outer World will follow.

The 3d is a mirror ➜ changing your self (4d) ➜ persisting ➜ the 3d will reflect your 4d ➜ yay! You have your desires in the physical reality.

It is very simple and easy.

All of this just needs discipline and having faith in yourself and your true power as a god.

Now the important part of this post.

How to manifest weight loss while ignoring the 3d:

We do know that manifesting weight loss might seem difficult for the most of us.

While you're manifesting and there's the people that surround you Always ALWAYS complaining and pointing about your appearance, your weight and that might get you very pissed off and angry.

I am myself suffering from this, my parents Always pointing at my appearance,saying that i look fat (and that not true they are just exaggerating things, my Friends told me that i have a beautiful body but i hide it with over-sized clothes cause i'm insecure), and they force me to go workout when i don't want to (cause obviously i hate sport and socializing) and which caused a HUGE ARGUMENTS with them, and i Lost it (cause i have anger issues) but they didn't listen they told me it for my own good🙄 my ass, so i had no choice but to listen to them but i'm DONE FOLLOWING SOCIETY RULES AND BELIEFS.

So yeah i'm not listening to anybody but my personal beliefs cause i'm the only one who knows the truth, the cheat code to life.

you Can eat whatever you want and with the belief that you won't gain a single weight and it's will become a fact.

Your beliefs and assumption matters and don't listen to anybody.

Okay so now you might wonder how to manifest weight loss while interacting with the 3d every single day and it very simple:

➜ firstly choose what desired weight or body you want to manifest.

➜ secondly knows that you do already have it in imagination and creation is finished, you're already that version of yourself that is skinny or muscular.

➜ thirdly you need to keep persisting no matter what the 3d tells you cause that will make the subconscious really believes you're that desired version of yourself.

➜ and lastly dismiss the 3d, if the people surrounding you keep pointing at your appearance just ignore them and affirm in your head that you already have your desired weight or body and knows that the 3d will change.

You really need to throw Logic in the trash Cane, Logic won't get you anywhere but imagination will.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Albert Einstein.

"Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere" Albert Einstein.

"You believe in God? Believe also in your imagination" Neville Goddard.

You want to have that perfect body? Yes you Can, you want to have that Chinese standard Body? Yes you Can! You want to be muscular and lean? Yeah you definitely Can.

Just pick and choose, fulfilling yourself in your imagination and accepting it as fact and the 3d will follow.

Seriously it is really simple, just don't overcomplicate it.

Just have faith and trust in yourself and you'll definitely do it.

I don't want anybody sending me Ask in my Inbox After this post.

Go apply and you'll definitely thank me for it. (Read this one)

I advice you to read these post they're really Amazing and it will surely make it click for you:

This, and this, this and this, this one, and this one, this, this, this, this,this one, and this, this last one.

And lastly you're the only one that Can change your reality, no one Can do it for you, you're already a master manifestor and void master and you're on the pedestal.

You were meant to change your life and live in happiness and wealth.

_ Xoxo, Eli

#law of assumption #loa tumblr #loa #loa blog #law of manifestation #how to manifest #loassumption #void state

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universalitgirlsblog2 · 10 months

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🧁🎀IT GIRL GUIDE 🧁🎀

This is a guide to help you become an IT girl . The term IT girl isn't same for everyone . For some it means a girl who has achieved a high celebrity status at a young age. For some, it means a girl who takes care of herself . In kpop , this title is mostly given to the ones who stay relevant for a longer time , have alot of brand deals & has made alot of impact on others - especially in fashion. What does being an IT girl means to you ?

🎀Tips to become an IT girl 🎀

1) Healthy Skin

I have noticed how the most popular IT girls have healthy , clear and glass skin . For example : Song Jia, Jang Wonyoung , Jennie etc . They all have clear skin. Try to visit a dermatologist, get to know your skin type and develop a skin care routine which suits you. Get enough sleep , stay hydrated , don't touch your face with dirty hands & don't pick your pimples .

2)Workout

Wonyoung , Song Jia & Jennie take great care of their bodies . You must have seen Jennie's instagram posts , she is consistent & practices pilates daily. Wonyoung & Jia also practice pilates to stay in shape . Here is a video of them practicing pilates , click here for wonyoung & click here for song jia . Karina also workouts to maintain her body. This video can motivate you.

It's not necessary that you need to do pilates just because Wonyoung , Jia or Jennie does it , if you don't like pilates , find any other exercise like yoga,HIIT , cardio etc or any sport like swimming , badminton etc . Basically , just find any exercise whether it's pilates , cardio etc or sport like swimming , badminton etc to keep yourself in shape . Don't limit exercise to only weight loss , it will not only help your physical health but will help your mental health too !

3) Fashionsta

An IT girl should know how to choose outfits which compliment her . Get to know your body type and experiment with different kind of style to know which style suits you . You can take inspiration from celebrities too !

4) Elegance

Wonyoung , Jia , Jennie , Nayeon , Irene , Karina, Bae Suzy etc . These all IT girls are elegant . Wonyoung radiates princess & royalty vibes because of her elegance . Maintain a good posture which will make you appear elegant and confident . Be gentle & kind . Have a good grammar & vocabulary. Read more. Have a signature fragrance . Maintain personal hygiene. Here are some posts which have more tips on how to look elegant - this one by @malusokay & this one by @femmefatalevibe

5) Confidence & Self Love

Wonyoung , Song Jia , Irene , Jennie , Nayeon etc. These all IT girls have confidence& love themselves. They are confident in themselves .They put themselves first .Improving your self concept can also help 🤭. Remember what Wonyoung said ? She said how she only tends to give herself love . Song jia also said that she really loved herself & her phone wallpaper was herself ! Also don't chase anyone , chase your goals . Spend your time creating a beautiful garden & the butterflies will come !! This post by @girlbloggerbby has wonderful self love tips , I hope it helps you ! Also this post by @malusokay & this one by @ribbonie

6) TRENDSETTER

All these it girls are not only fashion icons but also trendsetters.Don't try to be like anyone else , take inspiration If you want to ! Learn from everyone, follow no one . Be your own trend setter. Don't follow trends , SET THEM !!

7) IDAF attitude

People can be really cruel & harsh sometimes . When it comes to social media, I would say these days , most of the time , comment section is always full of hatred. Song Jia got alot of hate for the stupid fake clothes scandal and she still gets hate till now but she doesn't allow it to affect her anymore. She is just busy in improving herself & her life. She doesn't let hate get to her. Wonyoung , Karina, nayeon etc they all get hate for just breathing but they don't let the negativity get to them . Stop seeking validation from others and don't care about their opinions . Most of the time we get hate when we have done nothing wrong , it's better to realize our worth at that time & know that people often project their own insecurity on others . I hope this post by @prettieinpink helps you & I have affirmations too related to seeking self validation , not external. Idaf mentality affirmations by @vixeneptune .

8) Have hobbies

This is inspired from Jia , she always spend time with herself & her hobbies . It can be anything - singing , dancing , writing poetry , painting, cooking etc . It doesn't have to make sense to others , just do it for you and your own happiness. You don't need to master It as well , write the most rubbish poetry in the world , it doesn't matter , as long as it makes you happy . Don't try to seek validation for your hobbies as well . If you like it , then just do it .

9) Be smart & hardworking

Wonyoung got 100/100 in science , English and Korean. She also won several math and science competitions . Romanticize studying & being smart . Read more & give your best in studies ! Nayeon , Wonyoung , Jia , Karina , Irene , Jennie etc they all are extremely hardworking .

10 ) Be mysterious

Song jia , Wonyoung , Jennie , Irene, Alexa Demie etc are mysterious . Don't reveal too much about yourself . Be more private . Keep your goals & emotions a secret . Most of the time people can use your secrets against you too or demotivate you when you share your goals with them .

11) Affirm

This tip is probably the most easiest and simple one . You can manifest being an IT girl!! Just affirm like you are an IT girl . Act like her& affirm and you will become one! You can also use the Jia , Wonyoung , Jennie etc affirmations to become like them! Wonyoung & Jia affirmations by @magic-irl . Wonyoung & Irene affirmations by @heejinisoutofideas . Wonyoung , Jia & Jennie affirmations made by me !! Alexa demie is also considered an IT girl & Meghan also. Affirmations by @nevillesgod for Alexa & @magic-irl for meghan . It girl affirmations by @vixeneptune . More affirmations for it girl by @cyber-f4iry . It girl vaunt by me .

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starastrologyy · 7 months

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Astrology observations 🍒

My chart readings are still opened for those interested :) reviews are on my masterlist that is pinned to my profile 🤍

Something so interesting I’ve observed with Neptune conjunct the composite Ascendant is that the couple tend to be very forgiving of one another. However, there can be the inclination to engage in excessive drinking, gambling, or drug use together (if there are no mitigating factors).

It is not uncommon to begin dating someone new when your solar return Sun & Venus are in the Solar Return 5th house. Ideally, you want to have both to increase the chances. You want to look at the 7th house for a more long-term connection. However, it is possible for a relationship that begins in a 5th house centered solar return year to progress if there are aspects made to Saturn!

A “9th house heavy” solar return almost always indicates that a significant form of study or trip will present itself during that year. Some people may decide to enroll in college for the first time or others may even return to college in such a year. Alternatively, this could be a year in which your religious, political, or philosophical beliefs are highlighted.

It’s not uncommon to see individuals who have their Midheaven in Virgo, or the ruler of their Midheaven in the 6th house end up working in the health & wellness industries. These people can be drawn to personal training, nutrition or the healthcare industry.

If you have the ruler of your 7th house in the 9th. You may find that you have the tendency to attract long distance relationships or foreign partners.

Chiron or Neptune transiting the 6th or 10th houses are two planets I often see activated when a person is having trouble in their vocational sphere. Job losses or disillusionment pertaining to one’s career can often emerge during these transits.

Secondary Progressions are such an underrated predictive technique! You want to look out for when your progressed planets change signs, when the progressed moon enters a new house, or when there’s a progressed new or full moon! This is because these all often coincide with significant life events, this is especially true when it comes to the occurrence of a progressed new moon!

In synastry, when someone’s Mars falls into your 10th house they can motivate you to achieve your career goals and ambitions. However, if Mars is harshly aspected, this person can have a negative impact on your reputation, career, and the pursuit of your worldly ambitions.

You can expect to see a significant amount of advancement or abundance in your career in a year where your solar return Saturn or Jupiter trines the solar return midheaven!

Interestingly, you may experience sudden weight gain or weight loss when your Solar Return Uranus makes a conjunction to your Solar Return Ascendant! Alternatively, this could just mean that you decide to make an unexpected change to your physical appearance! This can be getting a new hairstyle or changing your wardrobe!

If you have your part of fortune in the 3rd or the 11th house you may find success with an online blog, sales, or anything involving the use of technology & social media!

Those with the ruler of their Midheaven in the 4th or part of fortune in the 4th can be drawn to real estate. This placement (ruler of midheaven in the 4th) can also indicate working from home or working in a family business.

Neptune conjunct the descendent is common to see in the charts of people who get married more than once in their lifetime!

If you have the ruler of your 9th house in the 9th, you may decide to pursue higher education/college abroad!

#astrology tumblr #astrology #astrology observations #astro thoughts #synastry #astrology blog #astrologyposts #astrology tips #astrology content #astro notes

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d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n · 1 year

Text

don't give up on me.

Regulus Black x F!Reader

Summary: You're sick. Regulus knows that. But how can he convince you that you're worth saving?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF EDS, WEIGHT LOSS, THROWING UP, FAINTING, HOSPITAL WING VISITS, ANY AND ALL ED-RELATED WARNINGS

AN: If this kind of content is triggering for you, PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING!!! nothing is more important to me than y'all keeping yourselves healthy - both mentally and physically! If this shit helps you then, here ya go :) (P.S. the summary is really bad sorry!!)

You ran back to the dorms, promising Pandora that you'd be back before breakfast. Lie.

Every day was pretty much the same: you weighed yourself on the muggle scale that you'd snuck into your bags behind your dad's back, and then based on that number, you'd eat. Or you wouldn't. It was easy to miss mealtimes - you'd make the excuse of needing to finish some homework or having forgotten something in the dorms. If you went to the hall during mealtimes, you'd put a little food on your plate and push it around to make it seem like you'd eaten loads when you hadn't touched anything at all.

If the number on the scale weren't acceptable to some extreme standard you'd set yourself to, then you'd spiral - only small amounts of food, you'd go on a run before dinner (strategically showing up late enough that there wouldn't be much left), calling yourself the worst names in the mirror.

It was a routine that you hated - you wanted to kick it, but you couldn't. It was a safety net. You needed control, and this was the only way to have it. It was your drug and you were dependent on it.

It had started as a need to look better, more like your sister. She was taller, skinnier, better at everything she did. You wanted that. So you started skipping meals, spending more time doing workouts - you'd bought one of those muggle aerobics DVDs, and you'd follow it almost every day. You lost a few kilograms in the first few weeks of summer, and the pride of achieving your goal outweighed the hunger pains and headaches. Your weight became an obsession to you and you weighed yourself after every meal and in the morning and night, and your diet to become healthier quickly became a desire to be smaller.

It didn't help that you remained invisible to everyone except your few Hogwarts friends. They owled you frequently, begging you to come up to London so you could spend time together, but you lived too far away for that to be possible. Your dad was busy all the time - it wasn't easy for him after the divorce - and your sister was busy with all her friends. They didn't like you very much, finding you odd as you went to school so far away. They left you alone for the most part - you only saw them when your sister agreed to drive you somewhere.

Not eating became natural after a while: the hunger pains stopped being painful, the headaches disappeared, and the desire to eat had all but disappeared. No one really noticed - you were pretty good at hiding your tricks - but your quickly shrinking body was noticeable. Your dad brought it up once, worried about how your clothes looked so big on your body: he offered to drive you to the doctors, wondering if being a wizard meant that you were more prone to getting sick. You shook your head, telling him that you were fine, but you made a mental reminder to buy much baggier clothes to hide the weight loss.

After that, you quickly went from loving your new body to despising it. You hid every inch of your skin even in the height of summer - hiding under baggy clothes, blankets, and behind pillows. You shoved your mirror to the back of your wardrobe.

By the time you went back to Hogwarts in September, your robes were far too big for you. You'd altered them sneakily: you kept the robes you had but they rested on your body better.

You'd avoided hugs from your friends, lying about an injured arm, but you'd happily reunited with them on the Hogwarts express. They all commented on how they were loving your new look - you smiled sadly at the reason. You remember getting off the train onto the platform - Regulus had helped you down from the train, gripping your hand tightly as you stepped off. As your friends dragged you away, you'd looked back at him. He'd looked almost concerned.

You came back to the Great Hall halfway through breakfast. You sat down with your friend, adjusting your collar where it was rubbing against your neck. You felt uncomfortable, almost like there was an emptiness in the back of your mind.

Pandora caught your eyes mouthing, are you ok? You nodded in response. You grabbed a glass of water and some fruit. Your throat was so dry and every single movement made you nauseous. It's fine, you told yourself, you can run it off before Charms. You're fine.

You were lying to yourself. You weren't okay, you had a problem and you knew it. But you couldn't pluck up the courage to go to Madam Pomfrey and get help. This was comfortable. You never wanted to go back to the way it was before - constantly hating your body for the way it looked in clothing, jealous of what others looked like. You'd take a few bad days like this over that.

You yawned. You were exhausted but your sleep wasn't restful or comfortable. Some parts of your body would always be sore when you woke up.

You felt someone move to sit next to you, and before you could turn to see who it was, they grabbed the apple out of your hand. You turned to protest, before seeing Regulus' pointed look and the knife in his hand. He began to cut up small slices and feed them to you, not giving you time to protest until the apple was finished and entirely consumed.

"Get a room lovebirds, someone from down the table called, but Regulus was quick to shoot them the finger. You smiled at that and Regulus let out a breath at the sight of it.

"It's nice to see you smile, canari. You don't seem to do it as much anymore," He said lowly, making sure his voice was only for you.

You pat his shoulder to reassure him, trying to hide your panicked mind behind gentle touches. He smiled at you before standing up to leave. He offered you a hand, which you gratefully took, and you both headed towards Defense Against the Dark Arts - your first lesson of the day.

That night, you had been planning on skipping dinner. You had convinced Pandora and Barty that you had an essay for Professor McGonagall that you hadn't even started, and they had believed you. They left you in the common room, promising to bring back one of your favourites - a Pumpkin Pasty. All was well.

You slipped out of your dorm room and down the stairs to the front door, heading out for a quick run.

"Where do you think you're going?" A voice cut through the cool air. You shut your eyes. Busted.

Regulus walked up to you, raising his eyebrows and waiting for an answer. "Tell me, Reggie, does growing up rich make you so entitled or are you just naturally a pompous ass?"

He laughed, throwing his head back, and grabbing your hand, "I'm going to let it go because you haven't eaten anything and you're probably hangry." He dragged you down to the Great Hall, even as you dragged your feet.

He pulled you in and sat you down by his side, piling your plate high with all the foods he knew were your favourite. If your anxiety wasn't spiraling, you would be touched that Regulus knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't.

People were sat all around the table, making small talk and eating. You took deep breaths as nonchalantly as you could, cutting up the food Regulus had piled on your plate. You didn’t want to draw any attention to yourself. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem - you’d have a few days of no one noticing you skipping meals, then you could comfortably eat dinner with no worries. You could prepare for that. But, after breakfast this morning was sprung on you, you didn’t think you should be eating this soon. I mean you had only just run off the apple you had for breakfast. How were you going to keep your weight down if you were gorging yourself on the most unhealthy food every minute of every day.

You tried to join in with the conversation every so often, pushing things around on your plate as you did so. You thought you were hiding it well, but you caught Regulus glancing at you in concern, every time you finished speaking.

Catching onto this habit, you worriedly stood up, grabbing your things and getting ready to go.

“Leaving again so early?” Barty asked, grabbing your wrist. He looked at the wrist almost concerned but you tugged your hand away. You looked around the table before your eyes landed on Regulus, concern filling his face.

You swallowed nervously, “Yeah, I'm going to head up to bed. Goodnight,” You stepped over the bench and left through one of the back doors. Regulus watched you leave. Something didn’t sit right with him.

As soon as you rounded the corner, you picked up the pace almost breaking into a jog. You made it down the stairs to the Slytherin common room, heart pounding in your chest and nearly threw yourself up the stairs to your dorm. You closed the door and locked yourself in the bathroom. You were usually methodical about this process, you had a system. But you were desperate at this point. You tied your hair up messily and filled up a hidden water bottle at the sink before chugging it and turning to the toilet.

Back in the Great Hall, Regulus decided that he was going to go check on you. He excused himself and bid everyone a good night - just like you had - before heading in the direction of the Slytherin dorm.

You were bent over the toilet, retching. You hated this so much. It didn’t feel good - it almost hurt - but you felt so relieved doing it. You couldn’t explain it. It was somehow the one thing that helped you feel better.

Regulus quickly made his way up the stairs to face your dorm. The stairs were enchanted to stop the boys from climbing up them, but Regulus was able to jump and skip a few steps to make it to the top. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to you. Not now.

Regulus knocked on your dorm door, to which he was met with silence. You couldn’t hear him. Not liking the feeling in his gut, he slowly pushed the door open. To his surprise, you weren’t there.

From the bathroom, he heard the faint sound of someone retching. Regulus furrowed his brows. You hadn't seemed sick this morning. Why didn’t you say something? You were going to go on a walk, for Merlin's sake! Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the bathroom door, pressing his ear to the door. That was definitely you retching. He knocked. You froze.

“Canari? Are you okay in there?” He asked, leaning against the door.

Shit.

You scrambled to get up, quickly flushing the toilet and washing your hands.

"Canari?"

You splashed your face with water before replying, “I’m fine, Reg.” You cursed yourself for the wavering in your voice.

You turned to the mirror - you were a mess, your tear-streaked face red and splotchy. You washed your face, trying to get rid of as much inflammation as you could.

You took a deep breath and leaned against the sink. How could you have been so stupid? How were you going to talk yourself out of this?

“Can you open the door, please?” Regulus said. He was half intending to break the door down, but he wouldn't violate you like that.

You sighed and opened the door with your head down. You tried to walk past Regulus, but he gently pulled you towards him, your head resting just over his heart. His finger tilted your face upwards, his eyes widening at your red eyes and face.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” he asked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You tried to pry yourself away from him, but he wasn't letting you go so easily.

“You’re not fine if you’re throwing up. What's really going on?”

“It’s nothing. I had a stomach bug over the summer. Sometimes it acts up a little. It's fine. I'm fine.” you affirmed. Your solidness was almost more to convince yourself than him.

One look at Regulus told you he was not convinced. He pulled you back into his chest. "You sure that's all it is? You'll tell me if it gets worse?"

"Yeah, Reg, I'll tell you if it gets worse. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"It's okay, Canari. As long as you are okay, it's okay."

You managed to avoid any more confrontations until Christmas. You decided to stay at school over the Christmas holidays, like you usually did, which meant no friends to worry about your ever-growing problem.

You woke up to a dry throat and a pounding headache. The usual. You coaxed your body into slumping out of bed and you brushed your teeth. God, you looked a mess. The dark circles under your eyes were prominent and your face was pale and gaunt. You almost looked like a skeleton.

The sun was pretty high in the sky - it was probably almost afternoon. Shit. How could you have slept half the day away? It's fine you'll just have to stay up later tonight to finish all your essays. You walked out into the dorm to be greeted with 4 other empty beds - everyone else had gone home for the holidays. You figured it was probably safer to stay at school than to go home looking so terrible.

Begrudgingly, you pulled on a pair of jeans and a Slytherin sweater you were almost sure wasn't yours, and slipped down to the common room. You'd left an essay for Professor Binns in front of the fireplace - you had rushed to the bathroom after Barty had practically force-fed you a few. You'd blamed it on the fact you got a dog food-flavoured one (you didn't - it was chocolate brownie, which was almost worse), but the side-long glance Regulus had given you made you retreat into your dorm room for the rest of the night.

Still, you needed to finish that essay and you headed down the steps, pausing halfway down to calm your racing heart. The common room was cold and empty - it usually was in the winter, given that most Slytherin students went home for the break. You shivered violently - the cold that nestled into your bones in early October had refused to leave. Now, without at least a jumper or two under your robes, you were constantly shivering.

You glanced at all the tables - there was no parchment or quills. There was no one still here that would want to steal your essay or your quills, so you were surprised to see all your stuff gone and the common room completely clean. You searched everywhere in case the house elves had moved it while cleaning, but you couldn't find it anywhere.

Tears started brimming in your eyes knowing that those were the only quills you had and there wasn't much chance that you could afford to buy a whole set of new ones and finish your essay before Christmas day.

"Good morning, Canari." You whirled around to see Regulus standing behind you, his obsidian-black suit perfectly ironed and immaculately clean. His hair was perfectly coiffed - as it usually was - and his face clean of the stubble you knew that he was able to grow. Not a hair out of place. Never a hair out of place. Why couldn't you be more like Regulus - perfect without trying. Skinny and pretty and fun to be around. Not always worrying about if you were trying too hard.

A lone tear slipped out of your eye and down your face. Regulus was there in an instant, his hands grasping your face, thumbs wiping away any tears.

"What's wrong, Canari? Why are you crying?" Regulus said, pulling you into his chest. You felt him stiffen against you, his fingers running over your protruding spine. But you nestled into his warmth, the chill in your bones just barely sated by his heat.

You looked up into his eyes, sniffling, "Someone took all my stuff."

"What?"

"I forgot my stuff down here last night - my essay for Binns and all my quills were on the table, but now they're gone," your breathing picked up as you began to panic, "And I can't afford to buy a whole new pack of quills, which means that I won't be able to finish any of my other essays and Professor McGona-"

"Canari. I have your stuff." Regulus interrupted, his arms running up and down your back, "It's okay. I took it to my dorm before I went to bed. Here." Regulus led you to the staircase leading up to his dorm and made you wait as he dashed upstairs and got your things. He handed them to you in a neat pile before leading you back to your dorm with his hand on your lower back. "Put your stuff away and then come down with me. Let's eat breakfast together."

Alarm bells started ringing in your head. Eat? Now? With so much to do? How could you waste your time? But you couldn't make Regulus more suspicious of your behaviour.

You head down to the Great Hall with him, pulling at your sleeves as he placed all manner of pies and treats on your plate. You felt nauseated by the smell alone.

It didn't skip your notice how Regulus looked at you as if you were going to break at any second. Hell, he probably thought you already had.

You turned the corner off the path to head into the Forbidden Forest. If any of the Professors found you out here they'd give you a detention. That coincidentally would mean that you missed dinner. Two birds, one stone.

You set off on your run, keeping to the border of the forbidden forest, but deep enough in that no one would be able to see you without looking. You kept a steady pace - you were used to this routine. If you overate, you'd run until you felt exhausted and then you'd slip back into the dorm and skip dinner.

Except the snow was never normally this heavy and with every breath you exhaled a puff of smoke left your lungs. The inhales were almost painful, the cold air rough on your fragile lungs. You could hear your heart pounding in your head and your ears were starting to ring but you ploughed on.

What a mistake that was. You feel your foot slipping before you can even grab onto something. The next thing you know everything was black.

Regulus was worried. He'd paid close attention to your ever-deteriorating health, and he was worried, to say the least. After you'd run from lunch with him and Barty, he'd followed you back to the dorm. You hadn't even noticed him trailing you as you almost ran back to the common room. You'd slammed your dorm door shut and hadn't left for hours. You'd finally left when you thought no one was in the common room, dressed in some sweatpants and a jumper that was far too thin for this ghastly weather. He'd grabbed his own coat and a spare jacket for you, before following you through the hallways. He'd contemplated calling your name once, but clearly, there was something going on. And Regulus wanted to know what.

You'd slipped out of one of the doors to the courtyard and set off on a light jog down toward Hagrid's hut. That's odd, Regulus thought, you didn't have detention. Of course, it didn't pass his mind that you may just be running. After all, who would willingly go on a run in the middle of December in Scotland. Still, he watched as you ran down the steps that led to the now frost-covered pumpkin patches. Maybe you needed to collect something from him, he thought. Yes, that's probably it. Far more likely than Miss 'golden-girl' having a detention. Professor Kettleburn probably needed something and sent you to go get it.

His confusion only multiplied when you bypassed Hagrid's hut and disappeared into the thicket of the Forbidden Forest. Regulus picked up his pace, making sure that he wasn't caught as he followed your footsteps. He tried to keep up but you were always a faster runner than him, always making it to class on time even if you were both running late. He quickly lost you, having to resort to tracking your footsteps through the deep snow. He was ever more confused as to why you were out here - if anyone caught you here, you'd have a month's worth of evening detentions. Not the best way to start the year.

When he finally caught up to you, his heart dropped to his feet. You were lying face down in the snow, clothing soaked through. He knelt beside you, his hands running over your face as he softly called your name. Your skin was cold to the touch, causing Regulus to panic. He quickly bundled you up in the spare coat he brought with him. He removed the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around yours, before tucking your hands into the pocket of the jacket.

He hoisted you up in his arms, wrapping his arms securely under your body. He slowly started walking back to the castle, being careful to avoid anyone seeing him leave the Forbidden Forest - the last thing he needed was the both of you getting in more trouble. He carried you through the hallways to the hospital wing, rapping his knuckles sharply against the window while you remained unconscious in his arms.

Madam Pomfrey was quick to open the door and, at the sight of your unconscious body, ushered you both inside, helping Regulus to lay you on one of the free beds. She laid a thick blanket over you and dug out a heating potion to dispel the chill from your bones. Regulus just sat by your side and held your hand. It was ice-cold as usual, but somehow Regulus never wanted to let go.

"...Mr. Black?" Madam Pomfrey asked, but Regulus had missed the question while he was staring at you. He looked up at her questioningly, silently asking her to repeat the question, "I said, will you get some dry clothes for her? I trust that you have something you can give her."

Regulus nodded dumbly, leaving the hospital wing before breaking into a run. He ran upstairs and pulled a sweater and some sweatpants for you. They would be big on you but hopefully, they would keep you from getting too cold. His heart was pounding as he returned to the hospital wing.

He diligently gave the jumper and sweatpants to Madam Pomfrey, before turning around so she could change your clothes modestly. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, he wanted to tell Madam Pomfrey, but somehow he was sure that she wouldn't appreciate that sentiment.

Once she was done and you were nestled under two layers of blankets and in clean clothes, Madam Pomfrey turned back to Regulus.

"Mr. Black, I'm going to have to collect a report from this accident from you, if you would so oblige."

"Uhh, of course, yeah. Um, well," Regulus prided himself on being a good liar, but under so much pressure, not so much. "We found a - uh - salamander on the fifth floor by the library when we were studying there earlier. She said she'd go tell Hagrid so she headed down to his hut. I wanted to find her to finish my essay before dinner so I headed down to see Hagrid, but then I found her lying in the snow."

Madam Pomfrey nodded, "Did Hagrid find out about the Salamander?"

Regulus nodded, "Yeah, one of the third years told him. I heard them talking about it while I was looking for her." It wasn't a total lie. Two third years had found a Salamander by the fifth-floor boys' toilets. They'd told Hagrid, and Regulus had overheard them talking about it.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, sealing away the report and filing it away. Regulus stood up to go back to the common room when Madam Pomfrey stopped him.

"She's incredibly thin, Mr. Black. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Regulus shook his head, "It's worrying how underweight she is. You haven't noticed anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"

Regulus shook his head again before turning around to leave the hospital wing. He knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you could feel was heat. You were warm. After months of being on the edge of freezing all the time, it was nice.

The second thing you noticed was the smell of cologne. A familiar cologne. Regulus' cologne. It was an expensive one - the Black family was rich and they weren't scared to show it off.

You opened your eyes slowly, grateful for the darkness. You looked towards the window to see that it was nighttime. You furrowed your brow in confusion. You could have sworn that it was just past lunch. You pushed yourself up further only to realise that you were in the hospital wing.

Before you could push yourself up even further, a voice interrupted you, "And just where do you think you're going, young lady?" Madam Pomfrey walked up to you with a glass of pumpkin juice in hand and two tablets. "You're dehydrated. And possibly have a concussion. You should be glad Mr. Black found you when he did."

Regulus found me? How the hell did he know where I was?

You took the pills from her hand and swallowed them down quickly. You savoured the taste of the Pumpkin Juice - it had been so long since you'd had the calorie-filled drink.

You turned to the door just in time to see Regulus walk in. It was as if he had exhaled for the first time seeing you awake. His shoulders dropped, his chest relaxed and all the tension in his face melted away.

He sat by your side gently, letting you finish the juice. Madam Pomfrey spoke up again, "Now, young lady, do you want to explain that nasty little fainting spell?" She said, her eyebrows raised as she scrutinised you.

"Uhh, well - I was - uh - walking down to Hagrid's hut, and - uh - my ears started ringing, and I think I fell." You said, your voice hoarse from disuse.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that you are underweight?" Madam Pomfrey pressed.

"I've just been nauseous the last few days." You lied quickly, slightly recoiling under her heavy words, "I think it's stress but it might be a bug. I remember Pandora complaining about her stomach the night before she went home."

Madam Pomfrey seemed convinced. Regulus less so. As soon as Madam Pomfrey left, he turned to you.

"You lied." You shifted nervously under his intense gaze.

"I didn't. I have been nauseous all week."

"If you were nauseous, why were you on a run?"

"I thought the fresh air might help."

"Fresh air in the Forbidden Forest? Bullshit." Your heart dropped. He'd followed you there.

"Why did you follow me?"

"Why were you there alone? If I hadn't followed you and you'd fainted, you would have been dead by the time anyone found you."

"Oh, so I guess that means I should thank you now, should I? Oh, thank His Lordship, Mr. Black for saving my life, even thOUGH NO ONE ASKED HIM TOO!" You exclaimed, seething. You threw his hands off you and tried to push him away but he refused to budge.

"Stop being difficult," Regulus said, pulling the blankets back over your frail body.

"OH I'M BEING DIFF-"

"JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH!" He interrupted, his blue eyes blazing with fury. You could just about pick out the lingering concern that was embedded in his gaze. You saw red.

"GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" You pushed Regulus away with every ounce of strength in your body. He fell off the chair, crashing to the ground in an undignified heap.

You watched, in horror at what you'd done, as he walked over to the door. He cast you a longing glance as he left, almost as if he was begging you, pleading you to let him in, to not shut him out. To let him help you.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you could be helped.

On Christmas Eve, Madam Pomfrey let you go back to your own bed, with the promise that you'd visit her every day so she could check up on you. Regulus hadn't visited since you told him to leave, and a small part of you was glad that he hadn't. The rest of you had missed him dearly.

You felt him walk up to you as you lounged on one of the sofas in front of the fire.

"Room for one more?" He asked hesitantly, standing in front of you. You shuffled to the edge of the sofa to give him room to sit down.

"So how are you?" He said, hands toying with his wand as he tried to avoid staring at you.

"We don't have to do this, Reg. Can we just let it go?" You sighed, hoping that you didn't have to get into this conversation right now.

"Yes, we do. Tell me, Canari, are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, Reg." You both sat in awkward silence, not exactly knowing how to approach this conversation. "I'm gonna - uh - go. Now. Uh - bye."

You stood up, trying to escape into your dorm room, but Regulus beat you to it - blocking you with his body. It wasn't fair that he was almost a whole head taller than you.

"No, what's going on? Are you sick?" Regulus insisted, hands coming up to brush your arms. You shuddered at the gentle touch, but he still didn't pull away.

“Reg-”

“Canari.” he insisted. "Don't lie to me."

You took a deep breath. "I'm sick," you whispered quietly, but loud enough for Regulus to hear it.

He shifted on his feet, “What do you mean?”

You looked at him, noting the tears building up on his lash line. Regulus never cried. More than once, Barty had joked that the 'snowman didn't have a heart'. You shook your head, "It won’t make sense."

"Then help me understand."

You took a few breaths, trying to get your thoughts in order. Regulus led you back to the couch, his large warm hands covering your cold frail ones. You tried to get your thoughts in order, tried to figure out where to start. Well, it's probably best to start at the beginning. “I don’t know what happened. I was just supposed to lose a little weight. I started eating less, doing some muggle workouts. And it worked. But now - now, now I just can't stop." you finished.

Regulus' face contorted to one of concern. You avoided his gaze, your eyes filled with tears at finally revealing your secret. Regulus pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you into his chest. You nestled into them, your head of his heart as sobs started to wrack your body. Regulus held you tightly, whispering that it would be okay. He breathed deeply and steadily, hoping you would fall into rhythm with him.

Eventually, your heaving breaths slowed, and you began to calm down. After a few moments of silence, Bucky asked “How long has this been going on?”

"Since the summer break. But I think the problem's been going on a lot longer than that." You whispered into his chest, defeated.

Regulus took a deep breath, his mind relaying all the suspicious behaviour he'd picked up on over the past term. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

You shrugged weakly, "It wasn’t your problem."

You jostled in his lap as he turned you to face him. "Canari. Your problems are my problems. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm here? Because I want to be here. For you. I want to help, Canari. Please." You avoided his gaze because you knew what you'd find. Genuine concern. Something you weren't sure if you deserved. "You always help me or anyone else whenever we need it. Remember when Pandora had those nightmares for months and every night you'd hold her hand until she fell asleep? Or when Barty told us that he was afraid of the dark so you gave him an enchanted tea candle that would never go out? Hmm? If we were going through this, wouldn’t you want to help us?"

"Of course, I would," you said firmly, tears building up in your eyes again. You rubbed the way with the corner of your sleeve, but Regulus caught your hand.

"So why can’t you let me help you the same way?" he asked, his eyes shining with sincerity.

You shook your head lightly, "It’s not that simple, Reg."

"Why?"

"Because.”

"Because what?"

"It's just not the same," you said a little louder, pushing yourself off his lap. You had to put a distance between him and yourself, or you knew that you would break. You turned around heading in any direction that was not here, not in front of the only man capable of reducing you to tears.

"I don't get it. What’s the difference between me and you? Why can’t you-"

“Because I don’t HATE you!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him again. The pain in your eyes was evident as you tried to shrink further into yourself. Regulus was up in an instant, cradling your head in his hands as if you were a porcelain doll. You took a shuddering breath, "It’s not the same thing because I don’t hate you. I want to help you all, because you are good people, and I like you."

Tears streamed down your face as the confession spilled from your lips. You told him about everything, the loneliness, the self-loathing, the punishments, everything. Regulus stood there as you sobbed in his arms and confessed to him, taking every beating and tucking it away in the corner of his frozen heart that was reserved for you.

When you had finally settled, Regulus looked at you sadly. His gaze was heavy as if he was trying to see if there were any other secrets you were hiding. "Is that really how you feel about yourself?" he asked, saddened even more when you began nodding. "What did you do that was so wrong?"

You didn’t know. The loneliness that had plagued your childhood had melted into the insecurity that you didn't belong anywhere, and you never would. So slowly, you accepted that you never would. Your voice was weak when you spoke up again, "I'm sick, Reg. I know that. But I don't think this kind of sick can be healed by one of Madam Pomfrey's potions. People catch colds or break bones - those can be fixed. And once it's fixed, it won’t bother them again. But this," you gestured your body repeatedly, "this I don’t know if I fix. I don’t know how, I don’t know where to start. It’s me against me. It's a losing game. I’m not the kind of sick that gets better, Reg," you shrugged slightly and shook your head.

Regulus wrapped his arms around you tighter, "There's always a cure."

"Not for me."

"No. You're not giving up. YOU CAN'T FUCKING GIVE UP WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO GET BETTER!" Regulus wasn't one to lose composure ever. In fact, Regulus wasn't one to show much emotion at all, but here he was, crying and yelling over you. Trying to convince you to get better. He tucked his chest into you, whispering, "Please. Please, you can't- you can't leave me here. Not alone, please, Canari."

You rested your face on his head, your cheek pressed against his beautiful curly hair. You stayed like that, you pulled into his lap, his head cocooned into your chest, your head laying on the top of his head. Both of you expended every last tear in your body before he spoke up again.

“Can I try to help?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean you want to get better? Right?" Regulus removed himself from your chest and looked into your eyes. His hands traveled to rest on your face. You nodded. "You can always talk to me about anything," You avoided his gaze, "you know that right?"

At the uncertain look on your face, Regulus stiffened. You quickly spoke up, "It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, but-" You paused thinking how best to word this.

"Yes?"

"It’s just that I don’t want to disappoint you," you said, your voice trailing off as you spoke. "I don’t want to fuck up and end up hurting you because I couldn’t be better. I don’t want you to worry every bloody day. You don't deserve that." you took a deep breath and looked away again. "I don’t want you to leave because I couldn’t be strong for you."

"Is that really what you think I would do?" Regulus asked, his tone growing angrier. You cowered under his anger, and Regulus noticed. He tried to level his breathing as he continued, "I would never be disappointed with you, because you're trying your best. You said it: you're sick. And sometimes it takes time to heal. And you're healing for you, so that you can have a happy life. A long life." He paused, considering whether to add this next part, "No matter whether that life has me in it."

You leaned into him again, his arms wrapping you into a tight hug. Your life would always have Regulus in it, no matter how long, short, sick, or healthy it would end up being. Regulus made you promise to go back to Madam Pomfrey in the morning to tell her the whole truth.

"Promise you will be there the whole time?" you asked softly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, and exhaustion washed over you.

His arms tightened around you, "I promise. As long as you promise not to give up. Even when it gets hard."

You smiled your first proper smile in what felt like an age.

"I promise."

fin.

#regulus black smut #regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x reader smut #regulus black fic #regulus black fanfiction #regulus smut #harry potter #hp #tw ed but not sheeran #regulus x y/n #harry potter x reader #regulus x reader #regulus black x fem!reader #regulus black x girlfriend!reader #marauders #marauders era

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amaditalks · 10 months

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Every year all of the big diet companies have to come up with some brand new labeling for their plans in order to encourage people to get on the January weight loss train.

This year, Weight Watchers is going further than they’ve ever gone before, by announcing that they have created a new system to give their members access to prescriptions for drugs like Ozempic and Mounjaro.

Let me remind you that these drugs only work while you’re taking them. As soon as you stop, all of your appetite comes back. Your desire to eat returns, and because it has been artificially suppressed it may feel much stronger and less controllable than it was before you took the drugs. Many people who come off these drugs, usually because of cost (because insurers are balking at coverage for weight loss) or shortages (because so many people are taking them for weight loss, which is leaving the diabetics who need them up shit creek) or side effects report that the first weeks are really difficult, mentally painful and often binging occurs.

Additionally, all of these drugs carry a real risk of creating a terribly painful and potentially deadly condition called Gastroparesis, in which your gastrointestinal system just stops functioning, you cannot digest and process food at all.

You do not need to lose weight to be healthy. You do not need to lose weight to be beautiful or attractive, to have success, or love. You do not need to lose weight in order to pursue fitness. If you have particular health needs or goals that can only be achieved by changing the way you eat, (e.g. lowering cholesterol or blood glucose or addressing gastro issues) that does not mean that you need a weight loss diet plan, just one designed toward your needs.

But more than anything, you do not ever need to put another penny into the coffers of the multibillion dollar weight loss industry, which, if it actually had a way to take a fat person and make them thin permanently (something that cannot even be achieved by surgeries that drastically rearrange digestive systems) would be a multi quadrillion dollar industry instead.

#cw: weight loss #cw: weight loss drugs #weight watchers #ozempic #mounjaro #diabetes drugs for fat people #new year new you old bullshit #health at every size #fatphobia

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corruptmango · 1 year

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︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You will be skinny by Christmas.

Picture this:

Oversized sweaters make you look small and dainty.

A mug of hot chocolate warming your boney and manicured hands.

Friends shopping for gifts, knowing they can pick the smallest size for you and it'll fit.

Not needing to have "weight loss" as your New Years Goal.

Friends or family easily being able to playfully pick you up at the Christmas party.

Everyone pointing out how good you look at said Christmas party.

Eating all the yummy cookies and food and not worrying about looking like a slob.

🕯️you will reach your gw by Christmas🕯️

6 months is a long time, long enough for you to achieve your goals. Get to it.

#th1nnspo #pro4ana #pr04nn4 #ed without the sheeran #notprojustusingthetags #tw ana diary #ed bullshit #tw disordered eating

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ozzgin · 1 year

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Yandere! Baki Headcanons (II)

Featuring Jack Hanma, Kaoru Hanayama, Katsumi Orochi and Chiharu Shiba since the latest Baki season is out. TW: Violence, dubious consent

[Baki Masterlist] [Part I]

Jack Hanma

Once Jack finds a purpose or a goal to achieve, he will hunt it down in deplorable mania with no regard to any impediment along the way. He’s deemed you to be his newfound motivation and minor details such as your opinion of it are but a slight detour. He’s already had one dream robbed from him - that of being the strongest. He’s not as generous as to accept yet another loss. Really, (Y/N), why so afraid? He promises you won’t regret it.

Outside of his obsessive tendencies, Jack is rather kind and understanding. He pays great attention to detail when it comes to you and is willing to go to great lengths for your sake. Being a servant on the knee is a small price to pay if he gets to see your satisfied expression. What a strange effect you have on him. To think that his pride immediately crumbles at your feet…No, it’s the other way around. It’s because of you that he can keep his head up, no matter what.

Jealousy or possessiveness are not things that plague Jack. His mere presence is enough to signal loud and clear that you’re not to be approached. Like a wild animal guarding his territory, he finds intruders a warm-up sport to entertain himself with and nothing more. But what if, say, it was you trying to get out instead? Now that would be just plain nonsense. No one else can guarantee your safety to such degree. You must be confused, and in situations like these Jack has no choice but to bring you back to your senses. Regardless of what it takes.

I have to say, if you choose Jack as your boyfriend you should definitely brace yourself. He has vowed to shield you from all threats, but his love for you doesn’t count as one. The fact that you’re laying there bruised all over further shows how intoxicating you are to him. His brain turns into mush and the only thing he can focus on is that you belong entirely to him. He could crush you, break you, kiss you until your lips bleed, hold you until your ribs crack. He holds the power over you and you have willingly offered this vulnerability to him. He doesn’t expect you to hold back, either. He is yours to mark as you please.

He will return to his senses and apologize for the vicious, feral attack during intimacy. He is a man of instinct and logic rarely prevails when dealing with temptations. And you, darling (Y/N), happen to be the strongest drug he’s ever dealt with.

Kaoru Hanayama

Hanayama is initially very conflicted about his feelings. Has he not sworn to dedicate himself entirely to the Family? What kind of puny leader loses focus in the middle of an important agreement between clans to think of a normal civilian? What kind of respected kumichou asks his subordinates to take a detour in their debt collection to check on some regular human? Here he is, sitting between the women working for his business, reluctant to touch them in fear of being disloyal. To whom? You don’t even know him and he’s already built an entire code of honor to follow. Shameful.

It doesn’t take him too long to rationalize his inexplicable attachment. Just like his father had found his mother, he too was bound to stumble upon someone for him, a partner fit to bear the weight of the family honor. He isn’t betraying his Group, he’s providing it with an equally capable leading hand. Oh, he just knows you’ll do great. You were made for this. You were made for him.

Confessing to you is a difficult task. Hanayama usually conveys his feelings with his fists, and he’d rather not pummel you down as the sweet “will you date me” invitation. So you’ll often find him staring intently at you, a frightening aura surrounding him. Any moment now, he’ll say it. And what if you respond with no? He hasn’t considered that. He’s been so entranced by your future together that he didn’t even entertain the idea you wouldn’t want to be part of it. Small obstacle, you just need a little bit of convincing.

He’s not the type to show his jealously, mainly because there’s no need to. If someone flirts with you, you’re not worried for Hanayama’s feelings but for this stranger’s safety. You’ll choke in terror trying to warn them to step away and if they still persist you know you’ll never see them again. One does not mess with the yakuza and lives to tell about it. Hanayama further contributes to this reputation.

The young man is very much aware of your fragility and would never do anything to permanently damage you. That said, he really can’t help the dizzying adoration that overwhelms him whenever he uses his knife on you. Just small, superficial lines gently tracing across your body, that immediately bloom into bright red flowers, cluttering along until they finally burst into an intricate mosaic. He feels like a poet penning his love for you in the most intimate way conceivable, because you’ve offered yourself as a canvas for his eyes and his control only. The Madonna of his existence.

Katsumi Orochi

Katsumi wouldn’t say that he’s taking it too far. He followed all the proper steps, from the innocent secret crush, to shyly confessing his feelings, and finally the drunken delight of hearing your acceptance to date him. There’s nothing wrong with skipping some steps. There’s no textbook claiming that love has to be gradual and evolve in time. If you know you’ve met your soulmate there’s no reason to hold back. And from the moment he laid his eyes on you he’s been certain, this was not mere coincidence.

He’s clumsier than he’d like to admit when it comes to romance, but one thing his extensive karate training has provided him with is discipline. He has a little notebook to keep track of your interests and likes, and if he’s completely clueless about something he will research it later. It helps him keep his plans organized and simultaneously make sure he won’t miss any detail about you.

It he thinks about it, love is a lot like karate indeed. A natural charm for it can hardly compete with raw passion and hard work. Step by step, he can see the fruits of his labor. Martial arts require a cool mind however, and while he’s learned to remain collected and act without haste in a fight, when it comes to you he can’t seem to remain still. His thoughts are burning hot and erratic and the tangled chaos in his head is exhausting. He wishes he could lay out his love for you and carefully smoothen all the folds, but maybe the inability to do so just further proves you’re a special case.

He also doesn’t consider himself to be a jealous individual. Right? In the middle of his training he finds himself idly pondering about such a scenario. He faces the wall, trying to picture a rival that might steal you from him. Silly. You wouldn’t leave him like that. You know how much he loves you. Or do you? He loves you so much. So much. So fucking much. His vision returns and his eyes widen at the large dents and cracks he left in the wall. The skin of his fists is throbbing, irritated.

Katsumi is rather needy during intimate moments. Whether you want him as your dominant or submissive accomplice, he will beg or demand for your words of love. Let him know that you don’t belong to anyone else. That you’re all his, forever and ever and even after death. Always.

Chiharu Shiba

Chiharu is an extremely stubborn man, so if he concludes that he has feelings for you, absolutely no rejection will get through to him. He doesn’t just fall for anyone and isn’t as shallow as to base his interest on appearance alone (though he did almost crash his bike once daydreaming about your face). It’s everything about you that’s convinced him there’s no one else for him. So now he just has to prove that similarly, no one else is better for you.

I feel like he would use his sturdiness and resistance to pain as a way to manipulate you into agreeing with him. You’re unsure whether you like him more than a friend? Is it because he’s not skilled enough? You don’t trust him? He’ll pick random fights with anyone and no matter how battered and bloodied he is, no matter how much you plead he stops, he’ll keep going until he’s dead or until you give in.

It’s his personality to show off. From the flashy bosozoku uniform to his customized retro Kawasaki, he likes to make it clear to others where his priorities lay. That includes his partner, of course. Not only is he the proud leader of Tokkoutai, but more importantly the one you belong to. If he’s feeling extra cheesy he will greet you with a dramatic spin and reveal he had his jacket stitched to some kanji symbols representing your relationship.

Chiharu is not particularly proud of it, but his bouts of jealousy often end in violence. Potential rivals lead him on a downward spiral of anxious what-ifs. He struggles with a certain feeling of inadequacy whenever he compares himself to other fighters. Put him next to someone like Baki and he fades into nothingness; No elaborate fighting skills, just a hard skull and a bunch of dirty tricks. Will that be enough to protect you from anyone? For how long? Before he knows it, his knuckles are dyed red and whoever approached you too fondly is scattered on the ground.

Safe to say this man has a lot of stamina and will be at your service 24/7. Anytime, anywhere. Just let him know. Feeling especially needy? He’ll throw you on the hood of the nearest car and just take care of you regardless of who’s watching. You’re strongly considering keeping a spray water bottle in your bag to keep him under control when you’re in public.

Despite all this he is very soft spoken and careful around you. He would never, ever hurt his precious darling (Y/N). And he won’t allow anything else to hurt you, either. He would die for you. Actually, scratch that. He’ll do you one better. He would kill for you.

#baki #baki hanma #baki the grappler #baki x reader #baki headcanons #jack hanma #katsumi orochi #kaoru hanayama #chiharu shiba #shiba chiharu #yandere baki #yandere x reader

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