#Healthy Living Re-set

[kingchroma]

hellloooo can i request Lookism guys dealing with pregnant reader?🫶🫶🫶🥺 (before their kid was born in your lookism as girl dads hcs)

lookism boys with pregnant reader.

࿇ characters. gun/goo/jake/gitae

࿇ warnings. there’s not a lot of dialogue since i wanted to dive more into their thoughts regarding your pregnancy. basically shows their thoughts re: the news and how they act on it ࿇ author's note. this is set before they became girl dads! thank you for requesting and i apologize for taking so long, i’ve been a bit stuck with this.

part 1 found here.

GUN PARK

If anything, Gun had taken on the responsibility of a father easily compared to what you had initially thought.

Being in Gun Park’s life had meant that you were able to see the rawest, purest form of him—the one where you see the Gun Park who had easily cooked your favorite meal in the cutest way possible. The one where you see how gentle he can be whenever he tends to you despite his heavy hands that were used to beating up people. The one where you see how caring can he be to you and to your unborn daughter.

“Rest,” he says, not even bothering to look up at you as you watch him make another conconction—whatever you and the little one (as he likes to call her) craved for today. It was a little mix of everything, and while Gun had wanted to tell you that this is not healthy, he could not resist you and your cute little face.

So what if he had gone soft for you? You were the only one who could see that softness anyway, and it’s not like he had lost his edge. He still makes a living, completely barricading this part of life away from prying eyes and loud mouths—namely Goo and the rest of HNH—while ensuring that the Four Major Crews aren’t doing shit that could possibly tarnish whatever he had worked so hard for.

All that matters now is you and your daughter.

“But what if I don’t want to?” you argue lightly, though it sounded more of like a tease. Gun had a tendency to be overprotective, making sure that you’re comfortable. If you wanted a massage now, he would almost immediately drop the baking sheet to go and wash his hands before tending to you.

He was quite literally the textbook definition of a househusband.

“Aren’t you a little hardheaded this afternoon?” he asks, looking up to see you glowing. Gun thinks he might have a heart attack with how adorable you look in your maternity dress, how you have that cheeky expression in your face that he loves looking at.

And while he initially was fearful of the pregnancy, it looked good on you. Looked good to the point that he wanted another kid because you being so round with his daughter made his heart ache in the best way possible. “You should go and take a seat on the sofa. It’s like sitting on a cloud,” he says, knowing damn well that he had it imported from whatever country it came from only because he wanted you to be comfortable during this whole pregnancy.

“Yeah, but,” you start, sitting on the bar stool as you watched him pipe animated designs on several pieces of cookies. “It won’t be the same without you,” you say, happiness evident in your tone as you put a hand on your stomach. “And our princess wants to see her dad create a masterpiece on those cookies.”

That was enough to make Gun smile—a rare one to his colleagues, quite normal to you—and while he thought that was cheesy yet adorable, he has his own lines ready to quip.

“How funny,” he says as he finishes piping one of the cookies before handing it to you to taste. “Because our princess needs to know that she,” he points at your tummy. “Is mom and dad’s magnum opus.”

GOO KIM

Goo has done a lot of stupid things, and while they are stupid, they are well-calculated. He doesn’t make a move where he knows he’s on the losing end because Goo will always benefit in the end.

This, however, is not something that he had calculated. He was also unsure if he was going to benefit from this because he hadn’t thought this through. Maybe it was also the panic and anxiety talking because he’s not supposed to talk and think like this whenever you’re involved—making it sound like you’re just some random business deal that he needs to get over with when you’re not.

You’re worth more than whatever pile of money was waiting for him at the end of every goal he has.

Still, he can’t even deny it himself—the news had shaken him up. Though thanks to years of masking his feelings, he’s definitely a lot better at not showing whatever emotion that was about to consume him because you look so happy.

You look so happy at the fact that you’re giving him a child at this age. Goo wonders if you’re as crazy as he is because holy shit, the two of you were only, what? In your 20s?

You should be partying at the club and not getting knocked up by him because: a) he’s got a lot of shit to do in the underworld and he’s involved with incredibly dangerous people, b) he’s an idiot that wanted to go raw, and c) he’s unsure if he can be a great father to this kid.

Goo, at most, plans 5 steps ahead, but with you wanting to keep the baby, he must plan at least 10 steps ahead because God knows whatever life is going to throw at him next. He was still unsure about the pregnancy—the thought of being a father—but he sure as hell would give you everything to ensure that you only have a smooth and less-awful pregnancy.

So, months later, his protectiveness shows.

Really.

“Jungoo, I’m fine!” you argue with your boyfriend as he held your hand, the two of you descending down the stairs of your new home.

He was insane enough to get you a house—away from prying eyes so that you and your beloved baby girl will be safe, not worrying about anyone who could possibly attack the two most important people in his life. “I can go down the stairs just fine!” you exclaim.

And while you almost push him down the goddamn stairs, Goo keeps a tight grip on your hand, the other on the small of your back. “You don’t know that, cupcake,” he says gently, eyes flitting from your face to your pregnant tummy. He feels his heart swell a little because going through the ultrasounds, the parenting books, the look of the nursery—everything made him excited.

A far cry from his initial response to when he found out you were pregnant. “Let me do this for you, okay?” he says gently, trying not to trigger a possible mood swing from you. “Ugh, fine,” you retort, letting him dote over you. “Only because you look funny begging,” you say, in which you receive a face from him.

You think about how Goo had always been so mobile, always in one place and then another because he has business deals all over Seoul. But with you, he’s been so patient, the most he’s ever been considering he always liked to get things done in the quickest, Goo-est way possible.

“Thanks, Goo,” you murmur as he safely helps you down the stairs, your hand immediately resting on your stomach. “Anything for you, sweetheart,” he says, leaning down to kiss your forehead before placing his hand on top of yours. “And for our sweet little angel too.”

JAKE KIM

Jake hadn’t really thought about being a father at such a young age.

Considering his lifestyle and as the leader of Big Deal, Jake had wanted to make sure that before anything like a pregnancy happens, or at least progresses, he had removed himself from the gang life.

Sure, he treats Big Deal like family because that’s what they are to him, but at the end of the day, there’s always a sick reminder in his head to never ever forget that it was still a gang—and the two of you having an unplanned pregnancy while he’s still the leader of the said gang makes him want to spiral into the abyss.

But even if he was in a state of shock and in worry, he doesn’t show that to you—not when you looked so horrified right in front of him, hands trembling, your tears instantly filling your lash line as you broke the news to him. You confirmed that you were indeed carrying his kid after a trip to the clinic.

“Hey,” he says as he holds your hand in his, engulfing them. “We’ll be okay,” he assures you in a quiet whisper, hunched down a little as makes a promise.

That’s what he tells you—often does, anyway. Jake was the type of person to reassure everyone around him that things were going to be okay, even if he himself was unsure of what the future holds. But he knows he’ll do something about it, make a plan—he had always been the type to step up no matter what challenge was thrown towards him.

A few weeks in your pregnancy, you began experiencing its symptoms. Jake could hear you retching your guts out in the bathroom, his immediate instinct was to get out of bed and quickly follow to help you. The swinging of the door was heard as you were keeled over, feeling his large hands help you with your hair before letting the other rest on your back.

His expression softens as he rubs your back. “It’s okay, baby,” he whispers, and you only hum a response in return because you didn’t feel like talking—the weight and realization of becoming a mother slowly sinking in with the symptoms.

Shit, he feels bad. Jake knows you well enough to know that you’re in deep thought, and he thinks that you wouldn’t have to carry majority of the burden if the two of you had been careful enough. But you wanted to keep the baby, and it’s your body therefore it’s also your choice. In the end, all Jake can do was be there for you and be the best support system for you.

“I’m here.”

GITAE KIM

Fatherhood is a foreign concept to Gitae.

If anything, he thinks—knows, that he’s not meant to be a father. He doesn’t have the gentleness and patience of a parent. Sure, maybe he can be stern, but never in his life did he think that he would be a father. Can you blame him if he didn’t know how to be one, given how he was born out of wedlock? How his own father barely acknowledged him, his first born, and so he turned into whatever this is.

All Gitae knows is that he was a man made to remove people—a man who resented his own parents; resenting them for giving him life when he didn’t ask for it.

He knows that being a parent isn’t for him. So when you told him you were pregnant, a multitude of thoughts had come to his head.

It was as clear as day whenever Gitae recalls the moment you broke the news to him.

How your voice trembled when you spoke to him, pupils looking like they were about to spill salty tears. How you were visibly shaken, making yourself look smaller in his presence, utterly distraught at the fact that you were pregnant when the two of you have been so careful. How you had endless apologies slipping from your lips, not bothering to look at him out of fear that he might get rid of you and your unborn child.

Gitae doesn’t know if the odd pain in his chest was normal whenever he remembers that devastated version of you that day. Even if the two of you had such an unconventional start in your relationship, at the end of the day, he still chose to risk it all with you despite not knowing the first steps in loving someone—in caring for someone other than himself.

At the end of the day, he still wants you in his life no matter how dangerous it was—because he had a silent promise not just to you, but to himself.

That he will protect you because he wants you standing by his side.

“You’re pregnant,” is what Gitae says as he looks down on you, the sentence he utters sounds more like a statement than a question. It was as if he doesn’t completely register the revelation you just told him—the look in his eyes could be described as two things: distant and hollow.

But this is you, not some random woman—not a concubine. So he tries to take it easy on you.

“Do you want to keep it?” Is the first thing he asks, and when you take a while to respond, he leans forward to hug you—a moment of reassurance and affection, quite rare. An unspoken I’ll be here for you. And once you said yes, Gitae steels himself for nine long months of pregnancy—and a lifetime of fatherhood.

Though, he thinks he’s faring better than expected.

Months later, he finds himself massaging your feet as you tell him about how your daughter was giving you a hard time today, constantly kicking, making you want to lay down constantly. And apart from that, pregnancy in itself made it quite heavy for you on your day-to-day, so you asked Gitae to give you a foot massage.

To which he surprisingly obliged.

He only hums as he listens to you, a grunt and even a small chuckle escaping from time to time. “Mi flor,” he speaks, looking at your stomach. “Don’t give your mama such a hard time. She’s already dealing with papa as it is,” he jokes lightly, but he doesn’t notice the slight look of concern that you give him.

He makes it sound so horrible dealing with him. Maybe to his enemies, yes, but Gitae had been nothing but different with you in the best way possible. “I’m sure our little flower just misses you,” you assure him lightly. “After all, papa had been gone majority of the day. She hasn’t heard your voice as much,” you tell him, and he glances at you with a softened expression.

“Is that so, mi flor?” he says, halting in his movements of tending to your feet as he sits next to you. “Well, papa’s here now,” he murmurs, rubbing your stomach gently, feeling his daughter kick, and that instantly brings a small smile on his lips.

“Should I tell you what mama and I plan on giving you when you’re born?” he asks his daughter.

“Would the world be enough, mi flor?”

[astrobydalia]

Numerology observations

I've genuinely learned a lot from @novy2sirius when it comes to numerology so much so that it has helped me make so much sense out of many experience in my life. Therefore I wanted to share some numerology observations with all of you.

astrobydalia

People with 9 energy are so deceitful, they are easily seen as innocent. On the contrary people can see 9s as someone pretty suspicious because they have an air of mystery to them and are the kind of person who you think you know but actually you don't like at all. They always hide the most BIZARRE shit, I'm telling you their life is SO weird. This is how I see 9 people tbh lmao

I've never met a 11 life path person that was emotionally okay, but the weird thing is that they tend to want to lie to themselves and pretend they are okay all the time. All the ones that've met had diagnosed depression and spent big chunks of their lives in very VERY low lows like it's truly hard to watch. Also, random note but I've seen that they are secretly very resentful too and have a hard time letting go of things and moving on. Most of the 11 people I've met had Earth Moon or strong Saturn influence in their moon

Also, I met a 11 guy once who would often say "I have no doubt in my mind that I will be famous" lol (11 is rated to fame)

22 is a more chill number. I've seen more developed 22s than developed 11s. 22 people are very mature and level-headed, tend to have very balanced mindset for most things. However they tend to think they're the only ones who know best, they give good advice but suck at taking any.

So one of the things Novy said is that the date you meet someone in will be a significant energy in the relationship you have with them. Every person I've met on a 5 day are people I travel a lot with or people I've had long-distance relationships with (5 is related travel)

I don't have much experience with 2 energy but from what I've seen it is pretty mellow energy. The people with 2 energy are pretty harmless individuals even when they have other intense energies going on

I get along with 7 life path people cause I'm a 5 but something I've noticed about these people is that they really do struggle making genuine connections "from the heart" if that makes sense. They always rationalize getting in and out of a relationship giving more importance to practical/beneficial reasons rather than emotional ones. When they do try to follow their heart they fail miserably cause they confuse making decisions from their heart with total recklessness

Life path 1 people are so.... immature. And have very obvious anger issues. They have the patience and emotional regulation of a toddler, really do embody the Aries stereotype. At their worst they can be pretty intolerant towards other's pov. Yeah life path 1 is very passionate and driven and all and I do get along with them but I also tend to keep at arms length a little cause they're energy is very chaotic and destructive tbh

Let me tell you too that unhealthy life path 1 people are one of the most CRUEL and mean people I've ever seen like... it's giving blood lust (not literally but you know what I mean)

Life path 6 can indeed be caring and generous but I've met a lot of them who are actually very selfish, greedy and materialistic. It's like they see life mostly through the lens of material gain. They literally remind me of this clip fr.

I have good experience with 6 people tho. My manager for example is a 6 life path and I literally don't know what I'd do without him, he's so patient, always there when I need him and is always on my side even when I mess up. 6 people are also very good at setting healthy boundaries too

A lot of the life path 6 I've met had taurus placements or where earth doms astrologically

The number I struggle getting along with the most is 4 tbh. They are huge party poppers even when they're healthy and have more need for control than 8s imo. A lot of 4 people I know are the type to rain on your parade for no reason in the name of being "realistic" but really they're just being bitter imo. I know 4 people have a hard life but I've noticed they tend to often have this attitude of "if I couldn't be happy then you can't either"

What I've noticed with 8 people is that yes they can be controlling but it's not like they go around policing others like 4s do. 8s control in a very subtle and indirect way, it really reminds me a lot of scorpio energy/8th house placements. It's more like they keep in control in any situation by staying low-key and are the kind of people that is hard to knock down, yet they know how to get under other's skin

I'd describe 8s as more domineering. They can be pretty chill, fun and won't mess with anyone as long as they feel like they have the upper hand in situations. That's why they are stubborn af and refuse to be wrong and why they do not react well AT ALL to animosity. This also means that at their worst tend to have HUGE superiority complex and will minimize others and be condescending just to feel superior

One time I witnessed an argument between a 1 and an 8 (it was messy) and even tho the 8 person was wrong imo they made the 1 person back down eventually (which, if you know how 1s are, that's a huge thing) and from that experience I learned that you're better off disagreeing with a 1 than disagreeing with an 8

People with 3 energy have such a refreshing energy I love them!!!! The type to keep a young spirit regardless of their age but like in a good way. Their sense of hope and optimism can't be crushed, all the ones I've met were the kind of people who always knew how to bounce back from difficult situations.

astrobydalia

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Marshmallow Longtermism

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this week!

My latest column for Locus Magazine is "Marshmallow Longtermism"; it's a reflection on how conservatives self-mythologize as the standards-bearers for deferred gratification and making hard trade-offs, but are utterly lacking in these traits when it comes to climate change and inequality:

https://locusmag.com/2024/09/cory-doctorow-marshmallow-longtermism/

Conservatives often root our societal ills in a childish impatience, and cast themselves as wise adults who understand that "you can't get something for nothing." Think here of the memes about lazy kids who would rather spend on avocado toast and fancy third-wave coffee rather than paying off their student loans. In this framing, poverty is a consequence of immaturity. To be a functional adult is to be sober in all things: not only does a grownup limit their intoxicant intake to head off hangovers, they also go to the gym to prevent future health problems, they save their discretionary income to cover a down-payment and student loans.

This isn't asceticism, though: it's a mature decision to delay gratification. Avocado toast is a reward for a life well-lived: once you've paid off your mortgage and put your kid through college, then you can have that oat-milk latte. This is just "sound reasoning": every day you fail to pay off your student loan represents another day of compounding interest. Pay off the loan first, and you'll save many avo toasts' worth of interest and your net toast consumption can go way, way up.

Cleaving the world into the patient (the mature, the adult, the wise) and the impatient (the childish, the foolish, the feckless) does important political work. It transforms every societal ill into a personal failing: the prisoner in the dock who stole to survive can be recast as a deficient whose partying on study-nights led to their failure to achieve the grades needed for a merit scholarship, a first-class degree, and a high-paying job.

Dividing the human race into "the wise" and "the foolish" forms an ethical basis for hierarchy. If some of us are born (or raised) for wisdom, then naturally those people should be in charge. Moreover, putting the innately foolish in charge is a recipe for disaster. The political scientist Corey Robin identifies this as the unifying belief common to every kind of conservativism: that some are born to rule, others are born to be ruled over:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/01/set-healthy-boundaries/#healthy-populism

This is why conservatives are so affronted by affirmative action, whose premise is that the absence of minorities in the halls of power stems from systemic bias. For conservatives, the fact that people like themselves are running things is evidence of their own virtue and suitability for rule. In conservative canon, the act of shunting aside members of dominant groups to make space for members of disfavored minorities isn't justice, it's dangerous "virtue signaling" that puts the childish and unfit in positions of authority.

Again, this does important political work. If you are ideologically committed to deregulation, and then a giant, deregulated sea-freighter crashes into a bridge, you can avoid any discussion of re-regulating the industry by insisting that we are living in a corrupted age where the unfit are unjustly elevated to positions of authority. That bridge wasn't killed by deregulation – it's demise is the fault of the DEI hire who captained the ship:

https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2024/03/26/baltimore-bridge-dei-utah-lawmaker-phil-lyman-misinformation

The idea of a society made up of the patient and wise and the impatient and foolish is as old as Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper," but it acquired a sheen of scientific legitimacy in 1970, with Walter Mischel's legendary "Stanford Marshmallow Experiment":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

In this experiment, kids were left alone in a locked room with a single marshmallow, after being told that they would get two marshmallows in 15 minutes, but only if they waited until them to eat the marshmallow before them. Mischel followed these kids for decades, finding that the kids who delayed gratification and got that second marshmallow did better on every axis – educational attainment, employment, and income. Adult brain-scans of these subjects revealed structural differences between the patient and the impatient.

For many years, the Stanford Marshmallow experiment has been used to validate the cleavage of humanity in the patient and wise and impatient and foolish. Those brain scans were said to reveal the biological basis for thinking of humanity's innate rulers as a superior subspecies, hidden in plain sight, destined to rule.

Then came the "replication crisis," in which numerous bedrock psychological studies from the mid 20th century were re-run by scientists whose fresh vigor disproved and/or complicated the career-defining findings of the giants of behavioral "science." When researchers re-ran Mischel's tests, they discovered an important gloss to his findings. By questioning the kids who ate the marshmallows right away, rather than waiting to get two marshmallows, they discovered that these kids weren't impatient, they were rational.

The kids who ate the marshmallows were more likely to come from poorer households. These kids had repeatedly been disappointed by the adults in their lives, who routinely broke their promises to the kids. Sometimes, this was well-intentioned, as when an economically precarious parent promised a treat, only to come up short because of an unexpected bill. Sometimes, this was just callousness, as when teachers, social workers or other authority figures fobbed these kids off with promises they knew they couldn't keep.

The marshmallow-eating kids had rationally analyzed their previous experiences and were making a sound bet that a marshmallow on the plate now was worth more than a strange adult's promise of two marshmallows. The "patient" kids who waited for the second marshmallow weren't so much patient as they were trusting: they had grown up with parents who had the kind of financial cushion that let them follow through on their promises, and who had the kind of social power that convinced other adults – teachers, etc – to follow through on their promises to their kids.

Once you understand this, the lesson of the Marshmallow Experiment is inverted. The reason two marshmallow kids thrived is that they came from privileged backgrounds: their high grades were down to private tutors, not the choice to study rather than partying. Their plum jobs and high salaries came from university and family connections, not merit. Their brain differences were the result of a life free from the chronic, extreme stress that comes with poverty.

Post-replication crisis, the moral of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment is that everyone experiences a mix of patience and impatience, but for the people born to privilege, the consequences of impatience are blunted and the rewards of patience are maximized.

Which explains a lot about how rich people actually behave. Take Charles Koch, who grew his father's coal empire a thousandfold by making long-term investments in automation. Koch is a vocal proponent of patience and long-term thinking, and is openly contemptuous of publicly traded companies because of the pressure from shareholders to give preference to short-term extraction over long-term planning. He's got a point.

Koch isn't just a fossil fuel baron, he's also a wildly successful ideologue. Koch is one of a handful of oligarchs who have transformed American politics by patiently investing in a kraken's worth of think tanks, universities, PACs, astroturf organizations, Star chambers and other world-girding tentacles. After decades of gerrymandering, voter suppression, court-packing and propagandizing, the American billionaire class has seized control of the US and its institutions. Patience pays!

But Koch's longtermism is highly selective. Arguably, Charles Koch bears more personal responsibility for delaying action on the climate emergency than any other person, alive or dead. Addressing greenhouse gasses is the most grasshopper-and-the-ant-ass crisis of all. Every day we delayed doing something about this foreseeable, well-understood climate debt added sky-high compounding interest. In failing to act, we saved billions – but we stuck our future selves with trillions in debt for which no bankruptcy procedure exists.

By convincing us not to invest in retooling for renewables in order to make his billions, Koch was committing the sin of premature avocado toast, times a billion. His inability to defer gratification – which he imposed on the rest of us – means that we are likely to lose much of world's coastal cities (including the state of Florida), and will have to find trillions to cope with wildfires, zoonotic plagues, and hundreds of millions of climate refugees.

Koch isn't a serene Buddha whose ability to surf over his impetuous attachments qualifies him to make decisions for the rest of us. Rather, he – like everyone else – is a flawed vessel whose blind spots are just as stubborn as ours. But unlike a person whose lack of foresight leads to drug addiction and petty crimes to support their habit, Koch's flaws don't just hurt a few people, they hurt our entire species and the only planet that can support it.

The selective marshmallow patience of the rich creates problems beyond climate debt. Koch and his fellow oligarchs are, first and foremost, supporters of oligarchy, an intrinsically destabilizing political arrangement that actually threatens their fortunes. Policies that favor the wealthy are always seeking an equilibrium between instability and inequality: a rich person can either submit to having their money taxed away to build hospitals, roads and schools, or they can invest in building high walls and paying guards to keep the rest of us from building guillotines on their lawns.

Rich people gobble that marshmallow like there's no tomorrow (literally). They always overestimate how much bang they'll get for their guard-labor buck, and underestimate how determined the poors will get after watching their children die of starvation and preventable diseases.

All of us benefit from some kind of cushion from our bad judgment, but not too much. The problem isn't that wealthy people get to make a few poor choices without suffering brutal consequences – it's that they hoard this benefit. Most of us are one missed student debt payment away from penalties and interest that add twenty years to our loan, while Charles Koch can set the planet on fire and continue to act as though he was born with the special judgment that means he knows what's best for us.

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/04/deferred-gratification/#selective-foresight

Image: Mark S (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/markoz46/4864682934/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[dresh-rx]

The problem i always had with people saying Lloyd is 23 or something in dragons rising BUT mentally he's like 18

Or in Controversallized, he's 18 but mentally 16 or whatever,

Is that MENTAL AGE IS NOT LINEAR GUYS

I feel like people miss this and maturity as a concept.

Longer rant below

It was true at the beginning when he got aged up that he was ~8-10mentally and ~14physically, and for a while it was linear maybe, but mental age is more complex than a thing that follows your birthdays, take examples from real life.

A child under pressure, responsibility and a role they have to be forced to fill, with the addition of trauma will mature differently and faster.

Just like when a kid is stripped away from their family in real life, maybe due to war, abuse or financial reasons, the kid must learn the skills of older ages to manipulate their sourroundings to help them survive. That's forced maturity and a childhood lost.

People could be well in their 30s and have an 18yo more mature than them, its all about the conditions of growing up, and what hardships they had to adapt to.

Also, think about this: What does it even mean to be a specific age mentally? How does a mentally 23 yo differ from a mentally 18 yo person? Its very relative...

We can maybe see Lloyd act more unmature and childish than the others in pre oni trilogy seasons, but ultimately always trying to seem wiser than he actually was because then it was true that he got aged up, and his mental age didn't follow up for a while, but still maturity was expected of him. However i feel like that gradually fades away as we go further, and i firmly believe that his mental age has caught up to his physical a long time ago.

Even if tomorrow's tea never happened, he'd be more mature than his age due to the experiences he's lived through.

Also, mental age is NOT linear to behavioural skills.

The tomorrow's tea left effects on his social skills and behaviour, only because in addition to a fucked up early childhood, he literally skipped the late childhood development stages, arguably the most important one for learning social cues and learning to build connections, in addition to immediately being put into a situation of great responsibility, forcing him to learn all the skipped skills afterwards. And this arguably wasn't because he got aged up, it was the events he got put into. We can also see this in real life with people who were forced to grow up too fast.

If you were to make conversation with an adult who lacks certain aspects of social skills due to reasons, you wouldn't say they are unmature. You'd probably think they are maybe autistic, but not unmature.

And developmental holes are probably the source of many of his issues later on, like trust issues (on both ends, (w Pythor, Harumi, Akita, Garmadon post res), the inability to properly express empathy (DR s3pt1 when reacting to Arin's parent's death), or isolation in crisis (DR, Controversallized, Oni trilogy, Splinter in the Blind Man's Eye,...), and many others.

But these are NOT tied to maturity.

It's simply the effects (and mental health problems) due to one's development.

I'm not gonna go into the psychological aspect of the opposite, when people return to their childhood preferences/behavioural patterns after adulthood because they miss what they didn't have, because that is a different topic.

That being said people can still act younger in times, but thats normal, even healthy, and i'm all for preserving youthfullness. Heck i literally work in a club/bar but will play minecraft and build ninjago sets afterwards. If i see a cool bug i will pick it up and show it around, but that doesn't mean i won't be reliable at work or solve that differential equation for uni projects. Maturity is also the ability to act according to situation.

So... Now that i diverged this much

I don't believe that, and at the very least in dragons rising, that his mental age would be younger than his actual physical self. I believe after all the ninja went through, they long are all more mature than what an average person would be at their age.

And i hope to see that more highlighted in DR with Sora and Arin, (maybe even Wyfy). Sora was forced to mature a bit more than Arin was growing up, and that is apparent among them, with Arin acting like a typical ~15yo, while sora acts more young adult like. But I'm sure the pre ninja Arin and the Arin we'll get after s3 will be very different. Not because the passing of time, but the mental maturity he gained due to experiences (not necessarily positive ones).

But change my mind i guess

Welp, thx for reading my ramble, here is a potato

[adviceformefromme]

YOUR RE-SET

So your life isn’t looking and feeling how you envisioned. You see the TikTok and IG girlies living that life. You dream about luxury travel, pilates on a Saturday morning, drinking overpriced green smoothies, driving a sexy car, and living your fullest most authentic life…But in comparison, you’ve grown to mostly hate spending time with your friends, you’ve out grown them and notice how much they complain about life and generally are low vibes, you’ve spent all of this months wages already, and still have 2 weeks left until payday so your bank balance is no way supporting the life you dream of, to add, your dating life is a mess not consisting of your dream guy that provides for you. No, instead it seems too much effort for him to message back, let alone take you to that sexy spa you’re dying to visit. So in short your life is a far cry from what you want. The life you’ve created right now is absolutely not what you would want for yourself for the next year, or even five years. So in order to completely shift from where you are to where you want to be. You need a fucking RE-SET. 

The re-set is basically your metamorphosis. Think of being the caterpillar, heavy, slow sluggish (currently you right now). In order to become a beautiful butterfly you need to completely transform, undo, take time to reorganise so you can re-emerge as nature intended. 

The Re-set might look slightly different for everyone so take what you need from this: 

2-3 months stepping back from the people around you. 

THE CORE ESSENTIALS FOR YOUR RESET - A DAILY PRACTISE  

Meditating daily to clear you mind so you can hear yourself, your own voice and drown out any external noise. (I recommend insight timer app, or mind app both for meditations)

A journal, to document your feelings and emotions, empty your thoughts, and a space where you can become your own best friend and create a connection with yourself. 

Movement. - you need to move your body this is KEY, you might pick up running, stretching at home, pilates, yoga, HIT, whatever it is just fucking do it. Your body needs the movement to replenish its energy and move you out of stagnation. 

Healthy diet. Less alcohol more greens. If it’s processed, if its fizzy, if its sugar, if its cake, if its chocolate, if its ice cream (you get the picture), cut that shit OUT. You need food that supports you, cleanses you, energises you in order to thrive and clear your energy. 

FAITH in something bigger than yourself. If you’re religious, great lean into your faith with prayer, scripture, faith music. If you’re not religious maybe you believe in the universe, the love all around you, faith in something unknown, something guiding you, protecting you, even if you believe this is part of your own psyche - lean into this. Your faith is your support system. Your faith is the unseen that will guide and protect you on this journey. 

The above might seem overwhelming, and it will be if you don’t already incorporate those things into your day already. The worst thing you want to do is try and do everything at once and feel disappointed when you don’t succeed. So start with one thing if that’s all you can manage and focus on doing that one thing consistently and then add from that. 

The purpose of the first 2-3 months is the cleansing. You want to start slowly removing what doesn’t serve you, and start creating space for yourself, your thoughts and visions so you have space to start planting new seeds of the life you want to live. 

What your first steps in your journey might look like: 

Saying no to going out for drinks with friends, instead you go for a long walks in nature listening to an empowering podcast, go home journal and meditate. 

Weekends might look like not seeing friends, maybe even family. Doing exercise, making healthy food, researching recipes, creating a vision board on Pinterest and doing a guiding meditation, affirmations and mirror work. 

Having a prayer practise, reading books/ passages that support you in your journey 

Deleting your social medias or even doing a detox day / weekend so you have a break 

PART 2 - COMING NEXT….(Here)

[fafodill]

Hi! I'm new to your blog and really enjoying scrolling through it ☺️ I was wondering if you have a list of fanfic recommendations anywhere? I like your take on Snape as a character and I feel like your taste in fanfic would be impeccable. No worries if you'd rather not share though! 💛

You're so sweet, thank you! I've been back in the fandom for just a little while so I'll update this as I go but you can consider this my fanfic masterpost for now. If you like some share it with me in the comments and give the authors a kudo and a little review! <3

Severus stuff

The War of the Roses (ongoing, not yet but oh mama such sexual tension), Snirius with a Sirius POV, taking place during OotP. Sirius characterization is breathtaking: he is really fucked up after Azkaban (which I love) and we get a good look at his family trauma, his unrequited love for James and his tangled feelings about Snape. The author paints with words. It's deeply scarred, human and beautiful. I cannot tell you how obsessed I am with it.

Second Life (completed, a little smutty). Snirius post-war AU where they both live. One chapter but you will travel through time and space and clench at your chest. It's a messy (oh so messy but so beautiful) journey through life and love. You may cry. Maybe several times. You'll be ruined changed at the end of it but deeply happy.

A Patchwork Family (completed), Severitus, takes place during PoA, Draco is involved too. Amazing fic that really dives into Harry as a victim of abuse and neglect under the Dursley's care. The slow shift of dynamics is super interesting, touching and realistic. I cried a few times too, especially at the end. There's a few chapters in Severus's POV posted separately that I adore as well and a sequel.

Fate set Right (completed, implied), Snamione where she goes back in time to the Maraudeur era and I absolutely loved their Hogwarts years (the 15 first chapters). It’s very long (full re-write of the story). Very much a ‘if he had better people around him, this is what his life could have looked like’. Very impressive storytelling, some amazing ideas. Also Dumbledore is a insufferable. But brace yourself for a saga.

I'll be your Doll (completed, smut fest). Post-war Snamione. Snape got his life - and dating life - together after the war and has found a good equilibrium in his sex life. But now, there's Hermione and something hits different. You wanna blush? I sure did. Great fic which explores non-monogamous dynamics and kinky stuff.

Cursed into Temptation (completed, solo deprived smut) Solo Snape. He knows something is happening with this new colleague of his but he couldn't bring himself to follow her back to her room. Now he's alone in his quarters and can't sleep... This fic actually fueled my adoration for deprived!Snape. I love it, he's so ashamed and needy. Many sexy ideas.

What a wicked game you play (completed, smut voyeurism) Snamione. It's been years since the end of the war and Hermione moved in back to Grimmauld Place. Her only other roommate is Severus, but they never see each others. One day she comes home early and starts touching herself. Her door is open...

Rare pairs

Spoonful of Sugar in a Nice Cold Cup of Revenge (completed), Fleamont Potter/Severus Snape… yes. Yes I know, but it’s so good. Basically teen!Snape meets Fleamont-Daddy-Green-Flag-Potter and it’s amazing I swear. No more comments your Honor, I wanted 10 more chapters.

Premature Eulogy (completed, a week of smut). Lucius/Severus/Narcissa. Post-war AU where Severus is supposed to appear in front of the Wizengamot under Veritaserum to defend Lucius's allegiances during the war. The line of defense? The three of them were lovers back then. That's not true, but it will have to be... they have a week to make memories. Severus is extremely inexperienced but we get a super touching depiction of a healthy three way dynamic, full of smut and love. I adore them like this, you won't regret it.

Difficult to Work With (completed, metamorphmagi smut). Tonks/Moody. I will die on this hill, they're great together. Here, have a very touching (and also smutty) little fic where they're super fun and have such a great chemistry. Super cool ideas about Tonk's metamorphmagi powers. Alastor is an open-minded respectful king.

[igotanidea]

Boss bitch and a princess: JT x reader

Summary: grumpy and sunshine trope with a little twist :)

***

The sun shining though the windows were quite surprising, if not shocking, occurrence in Gotham. Most of the citizens were used to constant rain, fog and misery surrounding them from every corner of the place. Therefore, the sight of a nice weather, for once was about to make some people content and energetic, finally getting the motivation to do some work and move on in their lifes.

Y/n was not one of those people.

It seemed like everything she did, was thrive in the October like atmosphere. Not because of the charming cosy autumn mood, but because she was cold and ruthless. She didn't give a damn about sun, butterfly, girly dresses and all that feminine stuff. Which obviously didn't mean she was a tomboy. Things like clothes and makeup just didn't took much space in her mind, she was acing them effortlessly and efficiently.

Exactly.

Efficiency.

That was definitely one of her favourite words and most definitely her life motto. Deal with shit, break the obstacles and if you cannot go though the doors, go though a window.

A taskmaster, if you may. A corporate rat. Ambitious, ruthless and unapologetic.

She woke up alone in her bed, just like every morning, immediately starting her routine of a few yoga poses, five minutes of meditation, ten minutes of setting her priorities for the day and getting into the right mindset.

She made herself a healthy breakfast and took a taxi to work.

The second she entered the building, her assistant caught up with her reminding y/n of the daily schedule, meetings, briefings and points on the checklist.

Obviously at the end of the day everything and then some was done. Including reprimanding her subordinates about being lazy and uncompetent.

In a mood she went home.

Opening the door.

"Hi baby." a little hoarse voice came from the kitchen.

"Jason!" she cried out happily, immeditely throwing her bitch boss attitude out the window. "You're back!" in a blink of an eye she was in his arms, kissing all over his face, hugging him and turning into a little ball of fluff, knowing her boyfriend was back.

"Whoa! Easy tiger!" Jason laughed wrapping arms around her waist.

"I was so worried when you weren't here in the morning!" she did not calm down even a notch. "I was thinking that something happened and -"

"I'm almost sure you just went on with your high corporate day and attitude without giving me a second thought, didn't you?" he teased, boping her nose.

"Hey, that's-" she started, his words strking her chords

"True?" he cut her off raising an eyebrow.

"Not fair!"

"But still true?' he pressed further and the roll of her eyes alongside with a pout gave him all the answers he needed. "don't do that or it will stay. would be a shame to waste such a pretty face, princess." he put one finger over her chin and lifter it out so she was forced to look into his eyes.

"You know exactly why I'm blocking it..." she whispered, getting a little nostalgic "I can't--"

"I know, I know. You've said it a million times. Emotions in your line of work are a deathbed." Jason mocked a little, empasising the fact that his beloved girlfriend had a tendency to overreact sometimes.

"It's true! You know it;s true! If any on my employees knew--"

"That you are soft for a guy?"

"That I have feelings!"

"Oh no! Look at you, you;re human and not a robot! How will you live with that?"

"And that's coming from a walking dead." she muttered, crossing arms over her chest and stepping away. "I hate you…"

Not for long though, when he reached for her in a practised move and pressed his lips to her ear.

"No, you don't princess..." his lips ghosted over her temple

"Yes I do...?"

"Really? Do you?" he moved to kiss her neck, softly, but teasingly "Cause the way you shivering right now make me think otherwise."

"Jason--"

"I know, I know... you love me so much my little grumpy." the grip on her waist tightened and he pulled her closer. "You've been lonely and that's the reason for the sourpuss mood, isn't it? Let me make it up to you..." another argument making her melt took a form of running hands all over her back, from the shoulders and down to the rear.

"You know what I like..." she responded with a hint of mischief in her voice.

"that I do..." he scooped her in his arms and carried her to the couch.

***

Half an hour later Y/N was splayed on the couch with the face mask on, hair freshly washed by Jason himself and her legs on his lap, having full control of the remote. In her own belief, this was the greatest torture she could impose on her boyfriend.

Little did she know, that is was his greatest pleasure.

Pampering her in all the million little ways. Using the most mundane, tiniest example of self-care (or rather boyfriend's care) as a way to spend time with her and have multiple excuses to touch and feel her close. Not that he needed excuses, but getting her to agree to this softness was not always easy, given her charcter.

Even that had to be somewhat productive.

But once she did agree?

Hours.

She would be glued to the spot for hours, letting him please her, comb her hair, apply skin care products on her face and body.

Finally sheding her work attitude.

Becoming his princess once more, cause with him - her deeply hidden, secretive sensitive part was safe.

[sad-not-glad]

Just some ramblings

I love getting to see Bucky post recovery in fics. Getting the happy slow life he deserves, pretty little housewife (you) and a tiny chubby-cheeked baby. White picket fence, holidays, Barnses family reunions, because we all know Bucky would adore that. Welcoming a cat and another one of his mini-me’s, maybe two.

But what about after that? His oldest’s graduation, his youngest’s? I want Bucky who struggles to watch his babies move out, I want Bucky who is devastated to watch them leave but even happier to see them thrive. What about when he becomes a granddad?

So here is old man Bucky becoming a granddad after getting the domestic bliss he deserves.

It’s his birthday. What number, Bucky didn’t know, he stopped keeping track too long ago. Far more important was the roudy group of his grown children, scattered around the living room with their partners and childhood friends, extended family and the like. It’s been nothing short of perfect, great food and nice weather with all his favorite people shoved into one house.

All except for one, that is.

‘Little’ Eliana, the youngest of the bunch and the only girl. Even though she’s a happy and healthy 25 years old, she was still doted on by all the men, brothers and Bucky alike. She was the princess, the baby, the littlest duck in the row- despite being married for 3 years already. So it really shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was to him, but Bucky still saw a grinning little girl with dirty hands when he looked at her. Eliana arrived with husband in tow fashionably late, her present tucked away to the back to the pile amidst the chaos of being greeted. Bucky, being the birthday Dad, got the first and longest hug naturally. One that he savored, tucking his little girl into his arms and holding her close. He still couldn’t believe where life had taken him, finding his soulmate and settling down. Getting to watch his outstanding children grow and prosper in ways he never imagined, everything he never believed he deserved. But it was his anyways, and he had no idea just how much more amazing his life was about to become.

Every year Bucky insisted he didn’t need any gifts. He was the happiest he could imagine with just his family, all safe and sound in the same house. Yet every year, he got to unwrap a mounting pile of presents that just keep getting better. So far he got a new watch from his son, which was amazing. Something he had been really needing too. A cat tree from the other son, two new mugs, the softest blanket he had even felt. Slowly the pile went from huge, to decent, until there was only one left. Eliana’s, a tiny little black box topped with a cute golden ribbon. She always had adored her father’s arm, hours of her childhood spent marveling at the metal. Now the fascination presented itself in his gift wrapping, or the black wedding band on her finger. A mimic of the engraving he had done when he married you.

She passes it over with a nervous smile, immediately curling back into her husband’s side. Bucky took the gift with a grin and a thank you, settling back and carefully peeling away the paper. You’re watching over his shoulder when he opens the lid, tossing it to the side and revealing the contents within. A little folded square of fabric. He pulled it out, confusion clear on his face as he turned it over. He unfolded it, taking a second to process just what he was looking at.

A tiny baby onesie, and written across the front was ‘I’m not spoiled, my Granddad just loves me”. He blinked, turning it over in his hands and re-reading the words, then reading them again. You had already put together the dots, leaping from your spot next to him with a surprised shriek. For Bucky, it was taking a while to really set in, eyes locked on the little outfit in his hands.

His daughter was…pregnant?

He was going to be a grandfather?

…He’s going to be a grandfather!

The tears are falling before the poor man even realizes he’s crying. Because after everything he had done, all the pain and suffering caused, Bucky was lucky enough to now be a grandfather. He looked up when legs appearing in his blurry vision, and there she was. The girl he had read stories to every night, kissed her boo-boos and held her hand. The girl who he raised into a wonderful young woman, smiling at him with giddy excitement. Excitement over having a child of her own, creating her own family to love and cherish. His chest was practically bursting with emotions, all of them pouring out with his tears and laughter as he stood to sweep her in his arms again.

And needless to say, the onesie spoke the truth. If you think this man spoiled his children, it’s a whole other ball game with his grandkids. His wallet is their atm, stealing them away for weekends with Pop-Pop, giving them memories to cherish forever. He cries holding his first granddaughter after she’s born. He cries when the second and third come, and he’s inconsolable when your eldest son reveals the name of his own firstborn. Andrew Bucky Barnes, the fifth grandchild he gets to welcome.

Pop-pop who picks up his kiddos early from school just because he missed them

Pop-pop who never misses a thing. Holidays, birthdays, graduations.

Pop-pop who always has the best stories, the warmest hugs, and the fluffiest pet cat.

Pop-pop who all his grand-babies adore just as much as he adores them.

[thecoachingdirectory]

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[are-you-still-writing-that]

Yandere!Killua: Throughout the years

Request: I love how you write yandere killua! What if yandere killua met reader during the Hunter exam and reader stuck with killua and gon up until gon and killua separated? What would yandere killua do? (Sorry if this sounds weird English is not my first language)

Uh, so you survived all that... Somehow... But fret not! We will see how the story will end.

So you met during the hunter exam, and travelled along with the boys. Stuck with them through all the dangers and challenges. You´re a good friend. You know it. And they know it too, even if they don´t always show it. Gon too hot-headed, honest and protective. Killua calm and collected. His affection always a quiet thing. Easily overlooked. Gone by unnoticed.

For Killua it wasn´t love at first glance. Not even second. Or third...

He didn´t even care about you during the hunter exam. Yes, you were his age. Sure. But the other boy, that bright and cheerful one, was just so much more interesting to him.

When you follow Gon to Kukuru Mountain, Killua just looks at you.

„Oh and you! It was..., it was-“

He pauses, and with a sigh you tell him your name again. It stings a bit because he at least somewhat remembered the names of the others, but you don´t take it to heart.

Killua watches you afterwards. He remembers your name. Takes great care to use it. His mouth sometimes stumbling over the pronunciation, but most of the time, he gets it right.

Heavens Arena is hard for you. Senseless fighting with no purpose. While the boys advance quickly, you´re slow.

In his brutal way he gives you advice. Though, you can´t be quite sure, that he isn´t insulting you half of the time.

„You have to aim right there. See? And stop hesitating! Got it, you wimp!“

The relationship between the two of you is rough. Gon is quite literally the only thing holding this fragile group together.

It fits then, that at Whale Island, you learn to understand Killua better. He becomes softer as well. Less abrasive. He learns to understand you as well.

You leave that Island, this small family, maybe even this little safe harbour, that you can see yourself returning too, stronger. Your group is not on the verge of falling apart any more. You started to understand each other. Just a bit more

„Here..., for you. From Mito“

When you leave and the wind whips through the sails, you turn to grin at Killua, who is already looking at you. His smile bright, in that secretive way it curls around his mouth, and his eyes are electric.

Yorktown is great.

Until it isn´t.

You had stayed with Leorio. Your mind at least marginally better with numbers than Gon, but your skills in stealth worse than both of theirs. A group of two was safer. At least, it was supposed to be

Leorio looks at you, his question more of a statement, which you can only confirm. Even though hours passed, you still haven´t heard anything from them.

It´s difficult to stays calm, while their lives are in danger. Kurapika is the one, that blocks your every attempt at helping. One day you might thank him for staying stubborn, today you want to strangle him for it.

You crunch numbers with Zepile instead. Your fingers shaking, and that man, this stranger, looking at you with pity. You are more than tempted to wipe his pity from his face. Just because you´re young doesn´t mean, you couldn´t wipe the floor with him in your sleep.

But your skill set isn´t specialised enough to be of any help to your friends at the moment. You always had been a jack of all trades, rather than the master of one. This had served you well, when you had travelled by yourself.

When they all come back, healthy and alive, Killua cracks some awful joke at you. You nearly knock his lights out.

„What was that for!“

And that was that.

While you haven´t earned enough to have a chance at bidding on the game, you can at least get Gon his hunter license back, and have more money than you started with. You ignore it, when Zepile grins at you. Yeah, you truly have a head for numbers.

Somehow you still get into the game. Your aura is twisting differently around you now. You kind of hate it.

It takes time for you to truly understand the purpose of the game, no matter how often Killua tries it to explain it to you and Gon, who is just as confused as you are. But the longer you think about it, the clearer it becomes to you, that this is the perfect game for hunters.

And so you start to collect cards. You deal with Bisky, who is far more focused on the boys than you, only when you have to. Still you learn the basics, and you are good at them. It feels great to learn this, far better, than what you had to push for to get the chance to join this game.

The encounter with Razor, especially when compared to the lacklustre challenges of the other pirates, is utterly terrifying. You feel the ball flying towards you, know that you can´t stop it, and that it will have reached you before you could ever completely move out of it´s way.

„Watch out! Are you alright?“

It never hits you, you´re on the floor already. You simply let yourself drop as if dead. Your t-shirt is torn. You´re the first one to stand outside. Killua is closer to you, than before but you wave him away. You watch the rest of the game with held breath.

In the end, no one got too badly hurt. You bandage Killuas hand. Cursing lowly, the stupidity of both the boys. You feel bile rise in your throat, after you genuinely thank Hisoka for his help. You hate it.

It´s almost too easy to figure out a plan to contain the Bombers. Still you aren´t surprised, that Gon doesn´t listen. No plan survives first contact with him. You are slowly getting used to it.

The quiz is easy. You whisper answers into Gons ear. Not minding to forfeit your chance. This game was a playground made for him by his father. Maybe you´re a bit jealous, but you push it away.

You don´t notice how Killua looks at you. How he started to look at you in the past few months. You won´t notice for the following months either.

Kite is... strange? Gon seems to like him and that is good enough for you. The concept of the Chimera Ant on the other hand still sends shiver down your spine. You feel vindicated in your fear, when you see the leg. And even more so, when you hear the rumour that some hunters never came back from NGL while they were on a trip to search for some new species.

It doesn´t take long for you to put one and one together.

You go with them regardless. NGL it is. Giant humanoid man-eating chimera ants are the least you are expecting and you don´t get disappointed. And Kite he is... you don´t know.

You covered the retreat of the boys, making sure that nothing would jump out at Killua as he was carrying Gon. To get attacked here and now would be a disaster. Especially because Kite isn´t around any more.

You hold Killua hand, as you leave, and slowly pull him into a hug as you wait.

„I-, I couldn´t- How could I keep you safe, when I-“

Only when the car arrives you shush him, standing up to greet the Chairman. It´s with a calm you didn´t know you had, that you explain your situation. You catch the pieces thrown at you with a glare. He laughs and if you could, you would love to hit him. But you can´t. You know it.

The drive back is hard. And the next few days are even harder

When Killua isn´t hanging around Gon, he suddenly clings to you

He has never been all that affectionate, but suddenly he is. And you can´t help but worry about it

Though something changes in Killua after the loss and Gons... date

He kisses you for the first time, presses his lips to your forehead. With him being that close, you can see the traces of dried blood on his forehead

„I´m so glad I could prove it to myself to stay. I promised it! I promised.“

You just grin at him. No clue what he´s actually meaning in that moment. Why wouldn´t he stay after all. Aren´t you friends?

They find Kite. Your world breaks. And he tries to hold it together. But even Killua is unable to be in two places at the same time.

You go back to the place of horrors. And you all split up.

It´s lonely. It´s dangerous. And you hate every second of it.

You worry when they build that plan. You know it will fail. And inevitably it does.

The plaza is your battle ground. The masses easier to deal with than the highly specialised royal guards. You will not give those ants even the smallest change to backstab one of your team

You leave behind burnt earth

„Why would he-? Why would he even do this! You didn´t see how he looked at me! How he said my name!“

Killua cries again into your shoulder, and you can´t help yourself but to awkwardly pat his back. Gon is dying. No, at this point, he´s already as good as dead.

He stops suddenly, you are still watching the steady beeping of the monitor by the hospital bed. Killua is mumbling to himself, and you slowly stand up to walk away. Maybe down there, they sell chocolate. You know, he needs some

When you come back, one of Killuas prized Chocolate Robots in hand, he is brushing past you. Eyes cold and hardened. You simply push the treat into his hands, as you sit back down on the bench to watch Gon

„There is still something left. There is still something that can help him“

Your „Good Luck“ is whispered to an empty hall and unhearing ears.

He returns a day or two later, with a girl by his side. Her eyes are wide, and you can recognize Killua in the slope of her nose, in the curl of her mouth when she shyly grins at you.

You wave back at her with your own smile, then turn back to Gon.

When Killua fiddles with the door to the intensive care unit, you make your way to distract any personnel that might come your way.

In the end, you wouldn´t have needed to bother with it

The nen, that spreads over the hospital quickly and violently, steals all air from your lungs. Your bones creak under the sudden pressure, and you let out an hysteric peal of laughter when it finally stops again. You are pretty sure, you just looked death in the face. Again.

Your steps are slow to return back to the room, but you do it regardless of the fear you just felt. When you turn the corner, Killua is hugging his sister, there are tears running down her face

You let them be, and instead turn once more to Gon. A grin spreads over your face, and you laugh

„Told you, I would fix him!“

You throw your arms around Killua, and he quickly spins you around. The both of you are grinning at each other. It´s a manic feeling, that makes you pull the girl into the hug, and whisper a pained and sincere „Thank you“ into her hair, as you press a kiss upon the crown of her head

Eventually though, this leads to the moment where you have to say goodbye. Two years have passed, before you knew it. You cried. You laughed. You nearly died. You found the best friends, that exist upon this world. You lived.

Gon is the first one to go. His father won´t wait for him too long, and he has to hurry. You watch him sprint away. You try not to cry. Even though, you are sure, that this is the last time you will see him

Then you turn towards Killua, who is shuffling from side to side, while looking around. One of his arms is protectively thrown over his little sisters – Alluka – neck. You know, that he has to leave too. His older brother is after him. Or rather after Alluka

You open your arms to him, and he pulls you close. You don´t promise anything to each other. The silence to heavy to break. It´s him, that pulls away in the end, and turns to leave. He grabs Allukas hand, as he waves at you without looking back

And before you know it, he vanishes into the crowd.

Two years of your life. Gone. Just like that.

Tears are running down your face, and you sniffle quietly.

„Farewell, dear.“

Time to go, huh...

Author Notes: This is not quite what was requested but there is a reason for that. If you meet in that journey, and take it completely with him: You have to part ways with him at the end. You only play a secondary role for his development.

The Hunter Exam is the first time Killua finds a friend. He is far more fixated on Gon, than anyone else. It takes time for him to open up to you. And so he doesn´t for a long time. He bases his emotional relationships of whatever he has with Gon. So it takes a while, to apply those experiences and emotions to you as well. This is a three-way friendship. You are all friends! And all are a little bit twisted. A little bit strange. And that is okay!

The ending might hurt, but this is what I truly believe needs to happen. Gon has to leave at the end, but so do you. Killua had time to explore, that emotional avenue with two strangers, that he truly treasures at the end. Now he needs to figure out, how to be family and a protector to Alluka. Gons goal united you for so long. Killua finally finds a goal to follow. And you? You need to spread your wings as well. You need to find your own path. And I´m sure you will.

Good Luck out there! And hey, maybe this isn´t the last time you saw Killua.

[yridenergyridenergy]

Dir en grey interview translation notes around The Devil In Me

Just some of the more interesting bits from the single's booklet and from PHY vol. 25.

Kyo

He was the one who came up with the title, and the title was determined before they even attached a song to it. The band basically decided to set a date for a new single ahead of time, not too long after 19990120's release, then they had just one song selection meeting (usually, they have three) to pick a song to work with toward becoming "The Devil In Me". After scheduling a release date, they had to pick a title before even knowing what song would be part of that release for production/logistical reasons.

Kyo wrote the lyrics of The Devil In Me based on his sense of dissociation from world events, how his own issues are not aligned with what the world cares about. He finds that people's lives are sometimes pre-determined the moment they are born. It's really a reflection on: "Why am I the way I am?"

The chorus has so many layers because Kyo wanted to illustrate that inner evil, or wickedness.

While re-recording Yokan, Kyo realized that he used to sing in short bouts, taking a breath more regularly, whereas he's evolved to sing as much as he can in a single, long breath now.

The small changes made to the lyrics of Cage just serve to help Kyo feel more immersed in that old poem, but if he'd wanted to change the lyrics to represent his current mindset, clearly he would have composed a completely new, different song.

Kyo commented in PHY vol. 25 that if the producers wanted a band that sells a lot, they would have had to replace him with someone who is taller, has a nice face and that composes songs that appeal to a wider audience. But around their debut, Kyo had to bend to some of the producers' demands because he had to rely on their knowledge of what would make the band successful. He wanted to make a very dark band, but he had to accept to make songs like Yokan.

"It wouldn't be appropriate to sing about corpses and internal organs to a melodious song such as Yokan (lol)."

Kyo feels like Dir en grey is the toughest band for him to be a part of, because the band's shows are especially mentally difficult.

Kaoru

The music of The Devil In Me was Kaoru's idea.

Kaoru agrees that the song kind of ends in a way that the band could have, in the past, followed up on with a second section of the song, but they felt like ending it in a more simple way now, which still represents the band's current state.

Die

The band had a discussion in a dressing room during Tour23 Phalaris Final –The scent of a peaceful death- and that's where they came to an understanding of where they wanted to take the band next. Kyo brought them ideas on what he felt that the next single song should sound like, but in the end, at the selection meeting, the majority of the band chose a completely different song than the other of the 5 that Kyo preferred. He's fine with letting the majority win.

Die started working out in 2018 to make sure to stay in shape for stage performances, and I think that he mentioned that it's important for him to appear young and healthy so that the fans who follow the band also don't feel old.

For Die, he was in part less active on stage during the Dum Spiro Spero era because the songs were dark and complex, so he had to focus more. Because of that, he couldn't enjoy the actual shows as much.

Toshiya

Toshiya mentioned that doing commemorative tours and shows is really just fan service.

Toshiya described Dir en grey as a group of five dictators. Their enemies and friends/allies are all inside that group, and the past 25(+) years have been a continuation of challenges to bring the band forward despite this type of chemical reaction between five egos.

Apparently the band never has casual "weird" conversations where they chat about their interests of the moment, but they quietly observe the others without interacting, like by observing what kind of clothes they wear or are into.

Shinya

Contrary to the band's habit, the vocals did not even exist yet when Shinya had to compose and record his drumming for The Devil In Me. When the vocals were eventually recorded, they kind of matched what Shinya had expected.

However, overall, a couple of members of the band feel like The Devil In Me might be a song that people react to with: "I don't get it", rather that just liking or disliking it.

Shinya dissing The Marrow of a Bone again hahah.

Shinya described The Devil In Me as mysterious, inexplicable.

He started taking some lessons from Buck-Tick's "Anii" (Toll Yagami) to learn a new drumming method. In the past, at the very beginning of his career, Shinya used to wear lead weights at his ankles to hit the pedal heavier and develop muscles, but Yoshiki and other seniors told him how to actually play and he quickly got rid of the weight belts.

[demaparbat-hp]

First, omg YOUR ZUTARA ART! It's so so beautiful I want to weep.

Do you have any Zutara fic recs? I need some more Zutara in my life lol

Hi! That's so sweet, thank you ❤️

Most of my free time is spent reading, but I almost never save the links...and can never seem to remember the names and/or authors of the fics.

Luckily I saved the links for some of my absolute favorite fics! There are a lot of truly breathtaking works out there and, sadly, I can't mention them all. These are some names in a very long list of favorites. I hope you enjoy them ❤️

Vermillion Seas, Cardinal Skies by @geothewriter

New directions and re-imagined canon events race toward a different endgame. From lighting bending to bloodbending and deal-making in the Spirit World, this canon-divergent/adjacent AU travels a new road, where unforeseen experiences shape who our heroes are, and who they will become. A Zutara slowburn.

Forgetting is a kind of mercy by @nerdylizj

It's death by a thousand cuts, Katara thinks. Saying goodbye to their old lives, forging ahead with whatever amalgamation of reality once they both fully remember everything, whatever reality that may be. Yet, two tethers between them will remain. Or, Five years after Katara and Zuko go missing in Ba Sing Se, Kya and Lee are found living peacefully in the Earth Kingdom countryside.

Eight Years Later by @starlight-tea-writing

Eight years after Sozin’s Comet, everyone’s lives have begun to take shape, their responsibilities pulling them further and further apart. The last three years have been broken up with infrequent and hurried meetings and get togethers, but by happenstance, things play out a little differently for the eighth anniversary of the End of War. Follow what happens in the year after all of Team Avatar gets together again and the found family re-finds each other and grows even larger. Zutara centric, Sukka, Toph/OC, Aang/OC Irregular updates, Saturdays only.

The White Lotus Zuko series by @calcliffbas

Zuko becomes one of the good guys a little earlier than usual, and joins Aang, Sokka and Katara in Omashu. A canon-adjacent series featuring friendship, humor, and romance.

The Spirit Trap by @leradny

In the Southern Water Tribe, Hakoda teaches his second son Katara to channel the grief over the death of his mother in a healthy way. In the Fire Nation Capital, Ozai tries to betroth his eldest daughter Princess Zuko to Iroh's son, and Ursa has to explain why that's not a good idea. [AU: Switched Genders, but just for Zuko and Katara]

Everything I Am by we-were-angels(untilwefallinlove)

There is something inevitable about them; like the certainty of the sun in the morning and the moon and all her stars at night. After all is said in done, how will history tell their stories? (Set after the One Hundred Year War and the years following.)

[marzipanandminutiae]

more crimson peak HCs?

The Sharpes don't drink alcohol, except when they're running the con and/or courting investors and need to appear normal around other people (wine with dinner being de rigeur among the upper classes back then). Any interest they might have had in it was killed by their father's drunken rages long ago.

The baby wasn't the first time Lucille got pregnant, or the last. Just the only time she tried to keep it. before, and after their son died, she ended the pregnancies with a homebrew pennyroyal tincture and never told Thomas. There haven't been many, since malnutrition during puberty left her not overly fertile, but there have been others.

Edith had her ears pierced when she was eight, after Eunice taunted her for being "too scared" to do it. Her mother caught her in the bathroom with a needle, working up the nerve, and insisted that they have a jeweler do it properly- many had similar methods to modern professional piercers, albeit less sterile.

Lucille's were done by a sympathetic housemaid around the same age, the old-fashioned way, with a needle in the attic. For many years she just wore the loops of silk thread used to keep the holes open while healing, for fear that actual earrings would get ripped through her earlobes during a beating. After the asylum, where obviously no earrings OR thread were allowed, she re-pierced them herself.

This one is very common fanon: Lucille's hair was forcibly cut off in the asylum, and now she has hangups about it. Specifically people touching it. In OT3 scenarios, Edith has to earn Hair-Touching Privileges, and it's a very big deal when she does.

Edith calls the dog Dante, to honor his Italian roots.

The Sharpes' china set is NOT actually Royal Crown Derby Old Imari 2451, but an identical Davenport imari pattern that was produced until the 1880s. Just seems like something their family would have bought in more prosperous times, and the RCD imari started being produced only after Davenport folded. (Note: in the movie it is in fact the RCD imari- I own a teacup and saucer set used in the filming; can confirm)

Thomas keeps trying with the mines not because of actual interest, but because he's trying to be a better Sharpe patriarch than his father. He'd be much happier- and make more money -as a maker of luxury clocks and automata.

Lucille's French is better than Thomas' grammatically, but because he had lessons and she taught herself out of books, his accent is better.

Edith does not love Alan romantically, and never will. I always feel like pairing them up as a couple is kind of a cop-out for a movie that does so much to avoid the "this woman's love is a prize for this man to win" trope and show a healthy friendship where one person is in love with the other, but respects that she doesn't feel the same way (especially rare for M/F friends where the man is the lover). They might get married platonically after the events of the movie, but I don't like imagining that Edith falls in love with him. The official novelization does this. The official novelization is a bunch of dreck.

Eunice is aroace; she's only concerned about getting married so she can continue having a comfortable lifestyle. And maybe also get away from her mother. She'll never live to see a term coined for that, of course, but that doesn't mean the feeling doesn't exist.

And while we're on orientations, Edith is bi and thinks all women are. She's never talked about it with anyone or encountered any references to it in fiction (or homophobic medical texts), so she just blithely assumes it's the norm. Again, for women. She's not sure about men; probably they're the same way, though.

Lucille is gay and will never figure that out because, even though her feelings for Thomas are not normal adult attraction, the sex is physically pleasurable and they love each other so much generally that she'll never untangle it from what she (unwillingly) feels for other women. Even in an OT3 scenario, she will always assume that the ways she feels about Thomas and Edith are the same, so she couldn't possibly be An Exclusive HomosexualTM.

Thomas is straight. Very few people who've met him- and who knew that Gay was a possibility -have believed this, but it's true.

[lace-tf]

Hi !! Have you read the KOSS fic "Crawling Back To You"?

Yes!! It’s in my KOSS bookmarks / recs, even!! It was the very first KOSS—and Transformers as a whole—fic I’ve ever read, right after I started watching Prime back in January, and it definitely changed the trajectory of my life x’D As well as set the bar perhaps a touch too high in terms of what I now crave when I want to read these two///

Transformatron is an incredibly skilled writer and their handling of Starscream is spot-on, IMO—their vision of him aligns so well with mine. I really appreciate how they maintained his abrasive, misanthropic, and Machiavellian traits at the same time as giving him gradual, earnest character growth! It’s something I so rarely see in any fandom, which I suppose is due in part to how society / SNS often enforces the idea that there is a “correct” way to be a good person, a “correct” way to be healthy 🤔 This just isn’t true—and redemption, growth, and healthiness can look very different in survivors of complex trauma (like Starscream), especially.

And on that note, the way Transformatron incorporated Megatron’s abuse and how it affected Starscream into the story without being sanctimonious towards the reader, or black-and-white about abuse dynamics… Ahhh!! So good!! I found it to be such a genuine depiction of rape and battery (as well as non-judgmental of their use in fiction), and I loved the grace they gave Starscream in particular, making him sympathetic without it being apologia.

Like yes!! It was wrong for him to have to endure such wretched hardship, and he deserves to be able to heal in a safe place and connect with people who actually care about him… But he very much is also a bad person who did a lot of bad things, and many of them cannot be blamed on Megatron LMAO These things can and should coexist! And I adore Crawling Back To You for acknowledging that, and working to build up developments in Starscream’s relationships with the other characters to the payoff hits hard and feels justified.

(And I’m foregoing a smooth transition here but I need to yell about like *shaking the author’s hand* Starscream as this hyper-resilient guy who will keep bouncing back and moving forward and NOT DWELL no matter what—powered by a near-delusional kind of stubborn optimism that he needs only himself and he will win eventually—and the only way to get him to reassess and change this path is to leave him no other option but to rely on someone else… and that someone else has to make it so worth his while that despite his post-traumatic neurotic paranoia, he’s locked out of the default option of betraying them in return.)

Transformatron has such a way with words too—amazing descriptions, vocabulary, cadence, dialogue, shaking up the sentence structure, pacing, etc…! It very much appeals to me, as someone who’s enjoyed literary fiction since my age was in the single digits 😭 It’s such a treat to find fic with an elevated level of polish, and the well-structured plot (balancing Starscream’s growth, KOSS slowburn, rebuilding Cybertron, and the threat of Unicron) brings it even higher///

It probably comes as no surprise that I am a HUGE longfic enthusiast—seriously, the higher up in the hundred-thousands the word count is the better—and so, all factors combined, finding Crawling Back To You felt like winning the lottery LMFAO I read and re-read it three times in the span of that first week, and I hadn’t even finished Prime yet.

Now that I have, though, I would say my personal interpretation of Knock Out as a character diverges quite a bit from Transformatron’s, even if our Starscreams are very similar 🤔 But their vision of KO is plausible to me, and it’s one I enjoy reading, so this isn’t a negative so much as it’s just something I realised and find worth noting ahaha. I eagerly await the next chapter, and 100% plan to draw fanart once the rainy season stops beating my ass ♥️

Ending my rant with two quotes that live in my head rent free:

“Eesh,” said Ramjet, as Knock Out and Starscream scowled at each other like pit fighters before a match. “Y’know what? I’m not interested anymore. You guys suck, and you deserve each other. Best not inflict yourself on any other mechs. See you tomorrow, Scream.” And with that, he shut the door of his hab-suite and hit the lock button, the diodes outside washing red. Knock Out gaped after him – then turned his infuriated faceplate to Starscream.

—Ramjet to KOSS, Chapter 25

“We should follow his advice,” he said instead, “and only subject ourselves to each other.”

—Starscream to Knock Out, shortly after

[prettygirlformula]

things i do to distract myself.

i dont usually post textposts, but i decided to do something different because, its november!!! nd we all know this months is when things go wrong and i've been struggling to practice self-care so here are some of my favourite things i like to do to remind myself i am loved, and perhaps give you all some inspo if you're in a funk too!! <3

listen to music i tend to have different playlists as i believe that the music you listen to dictates your mood. as much as i enjoy my jazz and classical, when im in a funk i need to be hype 24/7!! my go to's are usually anything future, miss stallion, glorilla, king von, tate mcrae, charli or carti. i need to listen to music that'll manifest success and confidence.

read i'll read anything really, just to keep my mind off social media BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO ROT MY BRAIN WHEN IM FEELING SULKY. im currently reading letters from a stoic by seneca - im learning plenty and its keeping me stay calm

body movement i love a good run, or a pilates sesh so i'll put all my anger and sadness into pushing myself to run an extra k, or that extra set. sometimes its nice to just clear ur lungs and ur mind, and it'll build my strength physically and mentally!!! plus i'll look even better so he'll regret ever ending things with me

visit the beach im a beach girl forever, the ocean has always been my best friend. a quick swim will alwayssss level me out. there's cute boutiques and my favourite açai place along the esplanade and i love walking down there during the sunset or sunrise to keep me busy.

annoy my friends i love my friends so much they're my everything!!! they bring me peace even if we're loud. there's something about surrounding yourself with positive and loving energy that i'll never get tired of, if i could i would give all my love in my body to them.

write ive always been a writer i think. i have to get everything in my mind onto paper or a document or i lose it. its nice to write in my journal about things im grateful for, things im scared about and things i want to achieve. as well as just what went on in my day - i think that now im out of high school im living a much more dramatic and different life to what i used to, so i need to process these things. also i write w a muji pen so it makes the experience so fun.

cry no matter how nonchalant i try to be, im a crier - even at the clubs (it gets embarrassing) but i find it a great way to rid my anger, sadness or stress - better out than in.

meditate ive only just started practicing this, but its very peaceful!! well duh i like to do it during sunset in the park near one of the beaches i frequent (so i can swim too hehe) and the sound of the waves, the people and life can kind of block out anything in my head!!

clean/re-organise my room organised room = organised mind!! (my dad taught me that one) but during this process i always find something that i forgot about and i get distracted, so it takes longer but i get the job #done

call my mummy my mum and i are close, shes my best friend so i tell her everything (except my tattoos and my ehem..rendevouz..) her wisdom has helped me in a lot of situations...i tend to write down the advice she gives me so i dont forget and fuck up. again :p

retail therapy maybe not the most healthy way of self-care, but it gets the job done i cannot lie!! sometimes you need to spend a little bit of money to sustain some peace in your life. you do need that glossier lip liner babe, get it, you deserve it.

ofc some of these things may not work well for you, but self-care is what makes you feel good!!! im open to new ideas of self-care so lmk what you guys do :p + thank you so much for 3 blessed years on this account, eternally grateful for everyone <3

[scarletwinterxx]

fool for you - mark lee dad scenario

a bit late to this but OH MY GOD MARK LEE GIRL DAD😭🥺😭🥺 we already know he's going to be the best dad to his kids in the future🤍🤍

you already know my feels went through the roof after seeing that cli[ so here's another mark dad scenario and can you believe this is the 10th one OMGGGGGG anyways i hope you like it!

part1: day with dad mark lee

part2: another day with dad mark lee

part3: a day with the lee's

part4: (prologue) i don't know how to make eggs

part5: glitter pens and goodnight kisses with the Lee's

part6: first love and kisses

part7: naps and baby kicks

part8: then there was three

part9: just like you

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"in my next life, I think I'll become a fool for my daughter"

"Lovie, can you stay with Minjee? I'm just going to the mall with Minjung to get new shoes and a few other stuff for the baby" you tell your husband who is currently on the sofa resting.

It's around that time again when you're counting down the days until the new baby comes, this time the two of you choose to keep the gender a surprise. You won't find out until you give birth. There's an on going bet in your household whether it'll be a girl or a boy.

"Why don't I come with him? You sure you okay to go out?" he asks, watching you struggle putting on your shoes. He chuckles before walking toward you, kneeling down to put it on for you even double tying the shoelaces just to be sure.

"It's okay, besides the doctor said it's healthy to walk around. And we both know it'll be easier to look after Minjung then Jee" you laugh, your husband agreeing with you

"She's the main character, we're all just living in her world" he says

You smile at Mark, giving him a kiss before getting your purse and keys.

"Call me if you need anything" he tells you

"Minjung, let's go" you shout, your son appears from the staircase ready to go

"You already know, buddy. Take care of mom, okay? Call me if something happens" he gives his son a quick hug before watching the two of you drive away

The two of you finished the errands and is now getting a quick snack before heading home. You like having one on one time with your kids. It helps you keep a closer relationship with them. And even though you know the two siblings get along very well, you still make it a point to spend time with them one by one. And so does Mark.

"Is there anything else you need, buddy?" you ask your son

He shakes his head, taking a bite of his sandwich. You smile watching him, it feels just like yesterday you were sitting in the backseat with newborn Minjung in the baby car seat on your way home from the hospital and now he's 13.

"How do you feel about getting another sibling?"

He looks at you, it's like looking at Mark's eyes. They same round, adorable chocolate eyes you love so much.

"Excited. It'll be cool if it's a boy. I'll teach him to play basketball and bike. It's okay too if it's a girl" he shrugs

"You know mommy and daddy loves you very very much"

"I know, I love you too" he smiles back at you

When you get home, Minjee welcomes you excitedly asking if you got her a cakepop which Minjung hands over to his sister

"Wah thank you, oppa! Dad look oppa got me a pink cakepop!" she screams excitedly, running to wherever Mark is. You and Minjung follow her, Mark in the kitchen getting dinner ready

"Cool, but you can have that after dinner okay? Na uh don't give me that look, missy. I ordered chicken just like you asked" the father-daughter banter continues

The two siblings help set up the table while you stay in the kitchen with Mark, "How did it go?" Mark asks you

"Good, we had fun. You sound like you had fun too" you joked

"I swear she knows how to make me says yes" he mumbles, you walk towards him, giving him a side hug

"You love her" you tell him with a chuckle and a kiss on the jaw

"That I do. I'd do anything for our kids" he says, looking down at you. He kisses you on the nose, eliciting giggles from you before breaking away

"Okay, dinner time!"

After dinner and everyone finished with their night time routines, it's finally time to call it a night.

You lay on your side of the bed, getting the pregnancy pillow ready

"Can I keep that after?" Mark asks, you watch him step out of the shower. Towel hanging on his hips while he dries his hair with another

"No" you tell him with a tight smile, Mark laughs before walking towards the dresser to get clothes

"Oh come on, let me enjoy the view some more"

"Woman, you are already pregnant" he tells you, playfully throwing the towel he was drying his hair with towards you. He puts on his sleeping shorts, leaving the shirt behind. He goes out the room to check all doors before going to bed

He turns towards you, the two of you face to face.

"Just a few more days and it'll be five of us" he whispers. His hand resting on your belly

"I'm calling it, this one will look like you again" you tell him

"You love us"

"That I do, I love you and all versions of you. Especially the little humans we made" you smile at him. He scoots closer to kiss you. Kissing you on the lips then on your cheeks a few time until you were laughing.

"Okay, time to rest. Goodnight, baby. I love you" he tells you

"Love you"

Minjung woke up to something poking his back, groggily looking to see Minjee

"Jee? What?"

The girl hiccups, still crying. This woke Minjung up more, sitting up on his bed and turning the bedside light on,

"Why are you crying? Did you have a bad dream?" he asks

"Will mom and dad not let me live here when the baby comes?" she asks, her tiny voice breaking

"What? of course not" her brother immediately answers. He gets out from under the blanket to hug his sister, wiping a few tears running down her face

"When you were born, I was so excited. Dad took me to the hospital to meet you. You had this big bow on, you were crying a lot too" he tells her

"You were there?" she asks

Minjung smiles "Yea, dad even helped me to carry you. You were really tiny. When the new baby comes, we'll go together to meet them"

"Will you still play with me when they come?"

"Of course I will, we're bestfriends right? You gave me this" he says, showing the beaded bracelet Minjee made for him. Similar to what she's wearing.

"You promise? You'll still get me cakepops?"

"Of course, pinkypromise"

The two siblings lock pinky fingers, the younger one finally smiling.

"Wait here okay?" Minjung says before going out of his room and carefull walking towards his parents bedroom. Knocking lightly before going in.

He walks towards Mark's sleeping figure, tapping him awake

"Huh what wha huh?? Minjung? Are you okay? What's happening?" Mark asks, sitting up immediately

"What time is it?" he asks, looking for his phone to see it's 2am

"Minjee woke up crying, she's in my room now"

Mark stands up carefully, looking over at your sleeping figure before quickly putting on a shirt and walking out with Minjung

"She okay? bad dream?"

"No uh it's about the new baby"

His son didn't need to elaborate anymore, already getting a hint why his babygirl was crying.

When the two walks back to Minjung's room, Jee still sitting there.

"Hey, Jee. Come on, dad will come with you. Goodnight buddy, thank you for being a good brother" Mark tells his eldest, kissing him on the head before stepping out of the room with the younger one

"Do you want warm milk before going back to bed?" Mark asks the 6 year old girl, getting a no from her

When they get to Minjee's room, the two sat on the bed

"Are you sad right now?" Mark asks his daughter

"Will you still love Jee when the baby comes?" Jee asks and Mark crumbles

"Oh my girl, of course I will. I'll love you longer than forever and that's a long long long time. You'll always be my princess. Even after the new baby comes, mom and dad might need to spend more time with them but that doesn't mean we love you and your brother any less" he tucks her hair behind her ear, pinching her cute round cheeks she definitely got from you.

"Can dad have a hug?" he opens his arms, Minjee scooting in her father's embrace

"Always remember, dad loves you so so much. I'd give you the moon and all the stars if you want. If you ever feel sad you can come and talk to me okay?"

He feels the younger one nod. Tucking her in bed, giving her a kiss on the forehead before calling it a night (again)

When he gets back to your room, he slides under the sheets then he feels you search for him

"Min?" you mumble

"Here, baby. Go to sleep" he leans over to give your temple a kiss. He sees a sleepy smile on your lips before your heads goes down on the pillow again.

Just like that everyone was asleep again, but before he fades into dreamland he says a silently thank you to heaven for this life. Ready and excited to face tomorrow with his family.