#bucky x mom reader

[buckyalpine]

Fluff, domestic cuteness, more fluff, I know it’s not everyone’s thing but pleaseee hear me out; just imagine beeeefy paramedic Bucky taking care of you when you’re in labor. You’re ex decided to leave halfway, realizing he wasn’t ready to be a father when you were already midway through your pregnancy, not that he was much help in the first place. You managed all on your own, ready to bring your little baby into the world all by yourself which is exactly how you ended up in this situation.

You were so close to your due date, ready to pop at any moment but your cravings for a donut didn't cease so you waddled down to the corner coffee shop in hopes of getting something with double chocolate.

Everything was fine until another customer bumped into you, sending you tumbling to the floor. A sudden sharp searin pain began to radiate through the lower half of your belly making you cry out in pain and it didn't take long for a crowd to form, the number of shouting voices and concerned faces adding to your growing anxiety. Al elderly woman held you hand while you tried to hold back tears; you couldn't get up, still laying on the floor when the faint sound of an ambulance grew louder.

A firm voice cleared the path, 2 large men walking towards you, ushering the crowd away from you first. The one with brunette hair crouches over to you, giving you a comforting smile before asking you a few quick basic questions, all while neatly looking over you for any signs of a major injury.

“Up you go, mama” he lifted you up with 0 effort, carrying you carefully in his thick arms, laying you down gently onto the stretcher. A sudden contraction rips through you causing you to panic more while your on your way to the hospital but he takes your hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

"Hey, its okay, look at me doll, focus on me alright?" He continue to hold your hand while monitoring your heart rate and vitals, timing your contractions since they're happening closer and closer together. "I know it won't make the pain go away but how about I try and distract you, hm? My names James but you can call me Bucky" He threw you a wink while you tried your best to focus on the feel of his hand, calloused palms from lifting, yet soft and warm. You focused on his baby blue eyes and scruffy beard and sweet pink lips that curve into a half smile; no doubt he was a shy charmer.

As soon as the ambulance stops, you're whisked away to the delivery ward, poked and prodded by doctors again. None of this was part of the plan and the pain was getting worse.

"How's she doing" Bucky came by the ward on his break, curious about the sweet thing he helped earlier in the day; surely you had a partner of some sort but he couldn't help himself nonetheless. The doctor directed him to your room, his heart breaking seeing your tear streaked, terrified face.

"Everything alright, mama?" He knew you were scared, hell, he was scared himself just thinking about the situation. He rested his hand on top of yours, careful not to touch anywhere near needles. You'd been at this hospital for 2 hours already and you were still alone without another visitor in sight. "Is uh-anyone-do you want me to call anyone-

You shook your head, biting down on your lip to keep it from trembling, gripping onto him tighter. The pain was becoming unbearable, alerting the doctor and nurse to check on you again.

"She's gonna have to start pushing" You overheard the nurse as she spoke to the doctor, your heartrate racing more. Your panic stricken face wasn't missed by Bucky, still planted in his seat as if he had any business being there. He debated on if you felt comfortable with him there, ready to go or stay, whatever you needed.

"Doll, it's almost time, I can leave-

"Please-please don't go" You shakily cling onto his hand, now frozen in fear when you realize the moment is coming. The baby is almost here and you're alone. There's no one here to support you, no one here to-

"M'not going anywhere, I'm here, you're doin' great" Bucky let you squeeze his hand as tightly as you wanted, coaching you through your breathing while you were prepared to have the baby. "C'mon, push mama, you can do it, almost there"

You were in tears, sweating, crying, and Bucky couldn't help but find you beautiful. Not that he'd say that right then and there but there was something so raw and powerful in that moment, seeing you give yourself to bring in another life. He watched in awe as you fought with your body to push a human out of you.

"One more, just one more and your little one is here, you can do it doll, one last big push" He dabbed your forehead with a cool cloth, comforting you until you let out a final gasp, tiny screams filling the room. You fall back against the bed panting and he still holds your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles while giving you a proud smile.

"You did it, you did amazing mama"

-

After your baby boy is born, you still occasionally visit the hospital for checkups. You can't help the way your cheeks heat up every time you see Bucky, giving him a shy smile, lingering to talk to him longer than necessary every time you see him. You insisted on buying him and the rest of the paramedic crew coffee and donuts for helping you safely deliver your baby boy. Bucky blushes when you give him an extra donuts as a special thank you.

Each time he sees you, he likes you even more but he doesn't want to push his luck. Not when you're probably still trying to figure things out. Initially he's a little unsure, wanting to give you some space. He's also careful not to overstep any boundaries, making sure he's respectful.

Eventually he can't help himself.

He has to ask you out.

And he does.

3 years and a wedding later

You giggle watching your husband and son both press their heads against your swollen belly, whispering secrets to the little one growing inside as if you couldn't see them.

"Daddy, can she hear us?" Daniel asks with wide eyes, his little hands trying to feel the places where his baby sister was kicking.

"She can hear you baby, let her know you're gonna be her big brother" Bucky chuckled while Daniel continued to talk to your belly like he did every night ever since you found out you were pregnant.

"I can't wait to meet you" He hugs your tummy before crawling into Bucky's arms, ready to go to bed. Bucky takes him to his room, laying him down and tucking him in, pressing a kiss to his head before turning off the lights.

"Sleep tight little man"

"Night, daddy"

-

Your second pregnancy is nothing like your fist. Bucky is there by your side for every second of it. He takes time off work, cradling your belly so you don't have back pain. He reads up on books to take care of your cravings. He worships your changing body.

"Look at you, Mrs. Barnes" Bucky cooed, loving the way you filled out his Henley, your little belly stretching it while you pouted at him.

"I'm huge Bucky" you whined while he grinned, rubbing your tummy.

"S'cause you're carrying my baby, mama" He kissed your head, his large form scooping you up for some midday cuddles. He holds your close to his chest, excited over his growing family. You smile against his chest, closing your eyes while he rubs your back.

You're so happy you decided you wanted a donut.

[sad-not-glad]

Just some ramblings

I love getting to see Bucky post recovery in fics. Getting the happy slow life he deserves, pretty little housewife (you) and a tiny chubby-cheeked baby. White picket fence, holidays, Barnses family reunions, because we all know Bucky would adore that. Welcoming a cat and another one of his mini-me’s, maybe two.

But what about after that? His oldest’s graduation, his youngest’s? I want Bucky who struggles to watch his babies move out, I want Bucky who is devastated to watch them leave but even happier to see them thrive. What about when he becomes a granddad?

So here is old man Bucky becoming a granddad after getting the domestic bliss he deserves.

It’s his birthday. What number, Bucky didn’t know, he stopped keeping track too long ago. Far more important was the roudy group of his grown children, scattered around the living room with their partners and childhood friends, extended family and the like. It’s been nothing short of perfect, great food and nice weather with all his favorite people shoved into one house.

All except for one, that is.

‘Little’ Eliana, the youngest of the bunch and the only girl. Even though she’s a happy and healthy 25 years old, she was still doted on by all the men, brothers and Bucky alike. She was the princess, the baby, the littlest duck in the row- despite being married for 3 years already. So it really shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was to him, but Bucky still saw a grinning little girl with dirty hands when he looked at her. Eliana arrived with husband in tow fashionably late, her present tucked away to the back to the pile amidst the chaos of being greeted. Bucky, being the birthday Dad, got the first and longest hug naturally. One that he savored, tucking his little girl into his arms and holding her close. He still couldn’t believe where life had taken him, finding his soulmate and settling down. Getting to watch his outstanding children grow and prosper in ways he never imagined, everything he never believed he deserved. But it was his anyways, and he had no idea just how much more amazing his life was about to become.

Every year Bucky insisted he didn’t need any gifts. He was the happiest he could imagine with just his family, all safe and sound in the same house. Yet every year, he got to unwrap a mounting pile of presents that just keep getting better. So far he got a new watch from his son, which was amazing. Something he had been really needing too. A cat tree from the other son, two new mugs, the softest blanket he had even felt. Slowly the pile went from huge, to decent, until there was only one left. Eliana’s, a tiny little black box topped with a cute golden ribbon. She always had adored her father’s arm, hours of her childhood spent marveling at the metal. Now the fascination presented itself in his gift wrapping, or the black wedding band on her finger. A mimic of the engraving he had done when he married you.

She passes it over with a nervous smile, immediately curling back into her husband’s side. Bucky took the gift with a grin and a thank you, settling back and carefully peeling away the paper. You’re watching over his shoulder when he opens the lid, tossing it to the side and revealing the contents within. A little folded square of fabric. He pulled it out, confusion clear on his face as he turned it over. He unfolded it, taking a second to process just what he was looking at.

A tiny baby onesie, and written across the front was ‘I’m not spoiled, my Granddad just loves me”. He blinked, turning it over in his hands and re-reading the words, then reading them again. You had already put together the dots, leaping from your spot next to him with a surprised shriek. For Bucky, it was taking a while to really set in, eyes locked on the little outfit in his hands.

His daughter was…pregnant?

He was going to be a grandfather?

…He’s going to be a grandfather!

The tears are falling before the poor man even realizes he’s crying. Because after everything he had done, all the pain and suffering caused, Bucky was lucky enough to now be a grandfather. He looked up when legs appearing in his blurry vision, and there she was. The girl he had read stories to every night, kissed her boo-boos and held her hand. The girl who he raised into a wonderful young woman, smiling at him with giddy excitement. Excitement over having a child of her own, creating her own family to love and cherish. His chest was practically bursting with emotions, all of them pouring out with his tears and laughter as he stood to sweep her in his arms again.

And needless to say, the onesie spoke the truth. If you think this man spoiled his children, it’s a whole other ball game with his grandkids. His wallet is their atm, stealing them away for weekends with Pop-Pop, giving them memories to cherish forever. He cries holding his first granddaughter after she’s born. He cries when the second and third come, and he’s inconsolable when your eldest son reveals the name of his own firstborn. Andrew Bucky Barnes, the fifth grandchild he gets to welcome.

Pop-pop who picks up his kiddos early from school just because he missed them

Pop-pop who never misses a thing. Holidays, birthdays, graduations.

Pop-pop who always has the best stories, the warmest hugs, and the fluffiest pet cat.

Pop-pop who all his grand-babies adore just as much as he adores them.

[navybrat817]

Moving in Slow Motion

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader

Summary: Everything changes for Bucky when he meets you and your daughter.

Word Count: Over 1.2k

Warnings: Fluff, meet-cute, daughter nicknamed Sweet Pea, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: How mob!Bucky and our single mom met. Thanks to @whisperlullaby and @targaryenvampireslayer for letting me babble about this AU. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky met you and Sweet Pea at a science museum and his life changed for the better.

Growing up, Bucky enjoyed going to the museum. Beyond developing critical and analytical thinking, science encourages curiosity and creativity.

In another life, he liked to imagine he taught science and had a family instead of being a mob boss.

It wasn’t fair to think that since his friends were his family, but something was missing that they couldn’t provide him with.

Whether for nostalgic purposes or to clear his head, he found himself back in the familiar museum. He stood and silently observed various exhibits, his eyes darting back and forth as families bustled around him and enjoyed the interactive experiences.

Something tightened in his chest and he didn’t want to ponder on that for long.

A chorus of chatter and excitement drew his attention and he stepped back to make room when he saw a group of kids in matching shirts walk by. Field trips were always something to look forward to and the wonder in their eyes reminded him of simpler times.

“Mama, Mama, look!” A sweet voice called out before something bumped his leg. He glanced down to see a little girl look up at him with wide eyes. “Sorry, Mister.”

Bucky Barnes struck fear into powerful men all over the world. He could only imagine how he looked to this sweet little girl with his large and imposing stature.

People liked to say he had a cold heart, but one look at her and it melted.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Sweet Pea.” He wasn’t sure where the nickname came from as he crouched down to make sure she was okay. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

She quickly shook her head and appeared to relax a bit when he gave her a small smile. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him. “No, Mister. I’m okay.”

He nodded, glad to hear that. “You just got excited by everything here, didn’t you? I get it.”

“Uh-huh.” She smiled, making his smile widen. He didn’t smile much these days. “Science is my favorite!”

“It’s my favorite, too,” he said, pointing to one of the rooms. “Did you know in that room you can try to build your own roller coaster?”

She gasped, her eyes lighting up. “I can?!”

He chuckled. Her enthusiasm was infectious. “You sure can. I’ll bet you can build a really good one.”

“Sir, did she bump into you?” You rushed over through the crowd as Bucky’s eyes flickered up, his breath caught in his throat. You weren’t in a matching shirt like the kids, but wore a similar color. “I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t help but stare at you as he stood upright, everything moving in slow motion. The little girl made his heart melt, but you set it on fire.

“I said sorry, Mama,” your daughter said, a slight pout on her face when you put a protective arm around her and gave him a wary look. He appreciated your protective instinct. “Accidents happen.”

Bucky wasn’t ashamed to admit to himself that his eyes went to your left hand and was happy to not see a wedding ring. Questions went through his mind, ranging from why you weren’t married to what was the full backstory of you and your daughter?

“I know how happy you are to be here, but you also need to be careful and stay close to me,” you said in a gentle, but firm tone. Bucky had a feeling you weren’t referring to bumping into people, but to avoid strangers. “Okay?”

“Okay, Mama,” she replied, hugging your legs.

“It’s fine. Really. I’m pretty sure I walked straight into a wall once because one of the exhibits distracted me,” he teased, unsure of why he wanted to talk to you. He just did.

You smiled after a moment, keeping your arm around your daughter. “I appreciate that. This visit was all she talked about for the last week.”

“I don’t blame her. I hope she has the best time,” he said sincerely.

Your daughter tugged on your shirt. “Show him what I colored!”

Your eyes went to Bucky before you dug into your tote bag. “What do we say?” You asked your daughter.

“Please,” she replied.

Bucky smiled to himself when you took out a coloring sheet with various science and space objects. “Wow! Did you color this?” He asked the little girl. “It’s very good.”

She smiled proudly. “Uh-huh!”

“It’s for a contest. The winner gets a free season pass to the museum,” you explained, carefully tucking it back in your bag.

“I hope I win,” she said, hopefulness in her innocent eyes.

Maybe he could make a donation and get that season pass for her. Hell, he had enough money to buy the museum if he wished.

“Well, I’m not a judge, but you’d win if it was up to me,” Bucky said, taking it as a victory when she smiled again.

You gazed at him before you shook your head. “We should get back to the group.”

“Aww,” she pouted, giving Bucky a small wave. “Bye bye, Mister.”

“Bucky. My name is Bucky,” he said, wishing the wholesome interaction didn’t have to end. He was completely enamored with the two of you. “It was nice meeting you, Sweet Pea.”

“Sweet Pea?” You repeated. He worried he made a mistake in saying that before you smiled. “I call her that sometimes.”

“It’s fitting,” he said, tucking a bit of his hair back. “Any chance I might get your name before you go?”

You hesitated before you told him. You even gave him your daughter’s real name. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

Bucky was probably pushing his luck, but he’d regret it if he didn’t try. “Look, I know this is forward, but can I give you my number?” He asked, giving you what he hoped was a charming yet soft stare.

He didn’t take offense to the skepticism in your eyes. “Um…” You glanced over your shoulder to make sure the group was still close by.

“It’s more than okay if you say no,” he said. He didn’t want you to feel pressured in the slightest and he shouldn’t have assumed you were single because you weren’t wearing a ring.

It was also selfish in a way since you and your daughter seemed so bright and his world was dark, but maybe you two were the real reason he went to the museum today.

After a moment and exchanging a look with your daughter, you shrugged and handed him your phone. “Sure, why not?”

His heart soared when he put his number in, wondering how quickly he’d hear from you. “You won’t regret it,” he promised, making sure to give Sweet Pea one more smile, too. “Have fun making the roller coaster. And good luck with the contest.”

“Thanks, Mister Bucky!”

Bucky’s heart melted all over again as she pulled you away. You even glanced back and gave him a tiny smile, which he returned with one of his own.

He didn’t know you yet, but he sensed deep down that your expectations were set low when it came to men. He was going to enjoy raising the bar.

And he was going to enjoy giving you and Sweet Pea the best life possible, if you gave him a chance.

Wait ‘til the gang hears about this…

I don't have a name yet for the AU and still coming up with a nickname for our reader (Dream Girl and Starlight have been suggested!), but I can't wait to share more. Check out Heart and Home here! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Mornings With All Of You » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Husband/Dad!Bucky x Wife/Mom/Pregnant!Reader with kids Becca and James Jr

Summary: Bucky enjoys his morning with his wife and kids.

Warnings: Fluff, language, kissing, nicknames/pet names

A/N: Thank you @buckys-wintersoldier for brainstorming ideas with me🥰🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

“Mommy said to not wake up daddy.” Yours and Bucky’s 4 year old daughter, Becca says to her 2 year old brother James Jr.

“Dada.” James Jr says, pointing at the closed bedroom door.

Bucky just got home from a two week long mission and you’re letting him sleep in. You told the kids to let their daddy sleep, but they didn’t listen. They just want daddy’s attention and lovings.

Becca is the smart one. She gets that from you. She knows it’s bad to disobey what you tell her and her brother, but she’s a total daddy’s girl. If she wants to see her daddy, she’ll see her daddy.

She walked to the closed bedroom door and stood on her tippy toes to open it. She held onto the wall so she didn’t fall. She opened the door with ease and pushed it open. Becca turned to James Jr and put a finger against her lips, telling him to be quiet as they walked in the bedroom where their daddy is sleeping.

Bucky may have enhanced hearing, but surprisingly he didn’t hear the door open and his kids walk in the room. They somehow to manage to climb up the side of the bed to get on top of it. They crawled to him and snuggled themselves under the blanket and against Bucky’s sides.

They couldn’t hold their giggles in. Bucky’s eyes fluttered open when he heard his kids’ giggles. He looked on both sides of him, seeing them laying next to him.

“Good morning, daddy.” They say at the same time.

“Good morning, munchkins.” Bucky says happily.

Bucky sat up, leaning his back against the headboard of the bed.

“Where’s mommy?” He asks.

“Cooking and baking room.” Becca answers.

That’s what she calls the kitchen.

“Mommy make muffins.” Jame Jr tells him.

“What kind?” He asks.

“Chocolate chip blueberry!” Becca answers.

“Ooh, sounds good!” Bucky says.

Bucky got out of bed and carefully picked up his son and daughter in each arm, making them giggle uncontrollably. You put a tray of muffins on the kitchen counter and looked up when you heard the sound of giggles entering the kitchen. You smiled when you seen your husband and kids.

“I told them not to wake you up.” You say, kissing Bucky good morning.

“It’s fine, doll.” Bucky carefully placed them on the floor and they ran to the living room to watch cartoons. “I love it when they wake me up.” He says.

Bucky put his hands on your sides, rubbing them up and down. His hands slowly made their way to your 2 month pregnant belly, caressing it. He looked down at your belly with the look of love and adoration on his face.

“I can’t believe we have third one on the way.” He muses.

“You better believe it cause she’ll be here before we know it.” You mused with him, putting your hands on top of his.

“She?” Bucky playfully raised an eyebrow at you. “I think we’re going to have another boy.” He says.

“You just like to be right, don’t you, Sarge?” You giggled.

“I was right with James Jr.” He says with a proud smile.

You playfully rolled your eyes at your husband and kissed him. You wrapped your arms around his waist, wanting him to be close to you.

“Do you have to go to the compound today?” You asked.

“Nope.” Bucky answers. “Steve gave me the next couple of days off to spend with you and the kids.” He tells you.

“That’s good, because I missed you.” You put your chin on his chest, looking up at him. “I think the kids missed you more than me though.” You say.

“Our kids always find a way to out rank us.” He says.

You giggled softly. Bucky kissed your forehead, making you smile. As you two were pulling away from each other, the kids came running in the kitchen.

“Are the muffins done?” Becca asks, looking up at you.

“Yes.” You confirmed with a smile.

The kids cheered happily and excitedly, making you and Bucky smile down at the two little creations you two brought into this world. Bucky got the kids seated at the table in the dining room while you took breakfast in there. During breakfast, the kids told you and Bucky what they want to do today. Bucky listened to everything his son and daughter said with the look of adoration on his face.

After breakfast, you cleaned up while Bucky cleaned the kids up. They’re messy eaters. He got them dressed and then got himself dressed. He walked back in the kitchen at the same time you were finishing up with washing the dishes. He walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and put his hands on your belly. You smiled and leaned into his touch.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Bucky asks softly, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“You tell me about a billion times a day.” You say with a smile.

Bucky carefully spun you around so you were facing him. His hands were now on your waist, pulling you against his body.

“Let me tell you a billion times more.” He murmurs softly.

You wrapped your arms around his neck when he kissed you softly and sweetly. You two couldn’t help but smile against each other’s lips.

“Hey!” You and Bucky heard a small high pitched voice, already knowing it’s Becca.

You and Bucky laughed lightly and pulled away to see what she needed.

“That’s how you get cooties!” Becca exclaims.

“Me and daddy can’t get cooties, because we’re married.” You explained to your daughter. “Plus, daddy is a Super Soldier so it won’t affect him at all.” You tell her.

Becca stared at you like you just said the most interesting thing in the world. You walked past her and playfully ruffled her hair and went to the bedroom to get dressed. Becca didn’t miss the way Bucky was looking at you as you were walking away. He had the look of love and adoration on his face. She was curious to know why he was looking at you like that.

“Daddy?” Becca taps on Bucky’s leg to get his attention.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Bucky asks, picking her up and walked to the living room to sit down on the couch.

“Why do you look at mommy like that?” She asks curiously.

“Mommy is my wife and the love of my life. I love her with all of my heart. She makes me so happy.” He explains. “You and your brother make happy and I love you two as well.” He says, kissing her forehead.

“What about the baby in mommy’s belly?” She asks.

“I love the baby in mommy’s belly too. He or she is going to make me happy too.” He says happily.

You walked in the living room with James Jr in your arms and sat down on the couch next to Bucky and Becca.

“Daddy love you!” Becca blurts out.

“Oh, he does, does he?” You say.

“He said you’re his wife.” She says.

“He’s right. I am his wife.” You smile widely. “And I wouldn’t change it for the world.” You say, kissing Bucky’s cheek.

Becca and James Jr carefully slid off of yours and Bucky’s lap to play with their toys on the floor while cartoons played on the TV. You slid closer to Bucky, snuggling yourself against his side. Bucky wrapped his arm around you, gently rubbing your belly with his hand.

“I love mornings with all of you.” Bucky says softly and happily.

“Me too.” You say softly, leaning up to kiss him sweetly.

James Jr threw a stuffed animal at you and Bucky when he seen you two kissing.

“Yucky!” James Jr shouts loudly, making you and Bucky laugh.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[buckystevelove]

[crazyunsexycool]

My Little Love

Chapter 38

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!Reader

Word Count: 6.4K

Warnings: I don't want to add to many warnings and give away the plot so read with caution, Henry and Charlotte being the sweet little duo they are, crying

A/N: the time has finally come to see what's going to happen next with our favorite family.... Idk how to feel about this chapter but it needed to happen so we can keep moving forward.

Series Masterlist:

Henry laid awake after you left. He worried about you. Even at his young age he could tell something was not quite right with the way you had been behaving. He also didn’t like the fact that his dad didn’t know you’d be going on a mission. 

There was only one thing he could do and he only hoped you wouldn’t be mad at him. But Henry would rather have an angry mama than none at all. So he slipped out of his bed and Lottie’s grip on his shirt so that he could put shoes on. 

“Bubba?” Lottie’s sleepy voice called from behind him. “Whe-uh you going?” 

“I have to do something for mama.” 

“You call daddy?” 

Henry sighed and turned to look at Lottie, she was now sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand. 

“Yes. I think mama is going to need help.” 

“I go with you?” Lottie asks, getting out of bed. 

“You should stay here with grandpa.” 

Lottie shakes her head. “I go with you.” 

“Fine, go get your shoes and be as quiet as you can.” 

“Kay.”

Henry meets Lottie in the hallway. He takes her hand and turns them both invisible before quietly going down the stairs. In the living room Eddie has the tv on even though it’s still dark out. His head is tilted backwards resting against the back of the couch while he snored peacefully. Henry places a finger of his lips to make sure Lottie knows she needs to be quiet. They leave out of the front door.

“Ok baby, I’ll give you a piggyback ride because we have to be fast.” Henry tells his sister before turning and lowering himself. 

Lottie climbs on Henry’s back and locks her legs around her brother’s midsection. Her arms wrap over his shoulders. 

“You ready?” 

“Am weady.” Lottie says with a nod.

“Ok, hold on tight.” Henry says and he starts running towards the compound.

****

They knock furiously on the door to the communications room. It’s only after a few minutes that it swings open. 

“Hi Ms. Maria.” Henry looks up at Maria Hill who’s in charge of running the operation from the comms room. 

“Henry, what are you two doing here? Where’s Y/N? Is Lottie having another vision?” 

“No but I need to talk to daddy. It’s important.” Henry’s eyes are pleading and Lottie is matching him. 

“Ok, come in but you’ll have to wait, they’re still on the mission. I’ll let you talk to him as soon as I can.” Maria says, opening the door wider and ushering the kids in. 

It takes a few minutes but eventually they hear Steve’s voice crackle through. 

“Mission was a success. Everyone’s back on the jet and we’re on our way home.”  

The small group in the room cheered. Maria heads to one of the stations and speaks to the person manning it before picking up the mic and headphones. 

“Sergeant Barnes, please switch to channel 3.” She says. 

“Everything ok Hill?” 

“I’m not sure, Henry needs to speak to you and it couldn’t wait.” Maria says before handing the mic and headphones over.

“Daddy?” 

“Hey bubs, what’s going on? Where’s mama?” Bucky tried not to let his panic be heard in his voice. 

“Mama went on a mission. She told me not to tell you but baby had a vision about it and I’m worried. Baby said there was a mean lady.” 

Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. It couldn’t be who he thought it was but he also had to trust your judgment. 

“Daddy?” 

“Hi doll. Can you tell me who you saw?” 

“Daddy it was mama’s mama. I membuh fwom my biwthday.” 

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to take some calming breaths but that was only getting attention from the team. 

“Do you know where she went?” He asked anyone who was listening. 

“She took a jet Barnes. We are sending you the location now.” Hill jumped in. 

“Thank you, Hill. Kids, is grandpa watching you?” 

“Yeah.” Henry said quietly after taking the mic back. 

“I’m assuming he doesn’t know where you are. Please go back home. I’m gonna go help mama and I’ll see you later. And don’t tell grandpa anything about this, it’s a secret for now.” 

Both kids say their goodbye and the line drops. Hill tries her best to give them a reassuring smile. The kids leave and sneak back into the house and Henry’s room without their grandpa ever noticing they were gone. 

“Well it took you long enough to come find me.” Your mother says. She has a pleased look on her face as she takes a seat. “Did you finally come to your senses? Or are you going to kill me?” 

You stare at her for a moment, really taking her in. It’s alarming to realize that this is who she always was. She had never hid herself behind the role of a sweet and loving homemaker, at least not in front of you. 

“I’m not going to kill you.” You say calmly. 

“Still weak I see. No matter, we can work that right out of your system this time.”

“Yeah, how will you manage to do that?” 

Your mother’s smile is sinister. It sends a shiver down your spine. 

“Do you really think I didn’t know you were here before I walked in? You tripped an alarm. At any moment my backup will be here.” She laughs as if she’s won, as if she has the upper hand. “I have so many plans for you. Things I didn’t get to finish the first time round.” 

You smile back. From one of the pockets of your utility belt you pull up four different dog tags, all of them covered in blood. 

“You mean the idiots that live down the hill? I mean, lived down the hill. I paid them a visit first and I cut the alarm in the cabin just in case there was anyone else wandering around.”

Lorraine’s face morphed from smug to absolute rage. She was fuming and you were satisfied that you’d managed to catch her off guard. 

“What were you planning to do with Luke and the twins? Were you going to kidnap them? What about Olivia?” You ask, you motioned to the files on the coffee table. 

“I’ve had to come up with backup plans. Since you’ve been nothing but a disappointment.” She spat with all the fury she had. She stands and tries to loom over you but the tactic doesn’t scare you anymore. “You would’ve been dead if it wasn’t for me. I gave you the only thing that makes you special.”

“You’ve done nothing but abuse me. You are a sick and twisted person.” 

“And you’re an ungrateful brat.”

Her right hand came up to strike you across the face but you blocked and batted it away before pushing her back. It was hard enough that she tripped and fell over the coffee table taking some of the files with her. Metal ropes slithered across the area rug from you to her. They wrapped around her arms, neck down her back and around her waist, lifting her back onto the couch. The now solid metal kept her in place. 

“For as much as you loved to call me pathetic, look at you now. You’re nothing. Hydra is nothing.” You growled, standing up from your seat. 

“Hydra will rise again. It always does and they’ll come for you and your stupid little family. We will have what is rightfully ours again.” 

“No! Hydra ends with you. It ended a long time ago you and the rest of those maniacs were just grasping at straws. You are nothing, no one will ever remember you because you didn’t do anything great.” 

“I am the greatest mind Hydra has.” Lorraine screamed, writhing as she tried to break free. With each movement the restraints got tighter. 

“Then why did they send you to have babies for them? You were useless to them. You had no purpose your own father thought that.” 

She stopped moving. Lorraine was panting as she stayed still, eyes closed. 

“Your father didn’t think you were anything special. You were ordinary, just one of the bunch. He thought the world of Henry though, didn’t he? Same thing with Lottie. They were his pride and joy. He saw them as the true future of hydra. They were everything he wanted in a child. Before he died he even treated them very well. But you? You were the disappointment of the family. He had no use for you, at least not until you got pregnant. I read all about what he thought of you. How he was glad to finally get rid of you so he could focus on what he had created.” You say. Your voice is eerily calm, it sounds strange to your own ears. There’s a sense of satisfaction in watching the woman who tormented you for years breakdown. You lean down into her space and look her in the eye. “How does it feel that even your own husband and children would prefer them over you?” 

 She lets out a blood curdling screech. “I did what I had to do in order to prove my loyalty. You would be nothing if it weren’t for me and this is how you repay me? You wouldn’t have your precious family and your precious Bucky if it weren’t for me.” She grits out. “The things we did to him. The way he cried and screamed and begged. He was such a great little play thing. Almost as fun as you were. But it doesn’t matter, once I’m done with you I’ll get my hands on him and those snot nosed brats and then I’ll really make them suffer. I’ll make you watch so you learn what I’m capable of.” 

That had you seeing red. It was bad enough to understand what they went through but to hear it from your own mother’s mouth made you sick. Instinctively the metal you were holding her back with tightened even more. She gasped for air before she began laughing. It was bone chilling and sinister. 

“I-I knew you h-had...” She begins but cuts herself off by coughing. “Had it in you.” Blood pools in the corners of her mouth as she finally looks at you. Her eyes are bewildered, as if she finally had gotten what she wanted.

“What?” 

“You we-re always me-meant to be the p-p-perfect killing machine.” She stutters before she laughs again. “We are the same, we-we are both killers now. The p-p-pride of Hydra.” She cries what you assume are happy tears. “O-our lega-legacy w-will live th-through you.”

As you realize what she meant you gasp. The metal that had been restraining her falls to the ground in small round pellets. She lay motionless on the couch. Some blood drips from her nose and mouth. 

You fell to the ground. Your eyes stuck to your mother’s motionless body. How could you have done that? Sure you had killed before but it had been in self defense. This time you let her get under your skin like she always had. You thought you had the upper hand but she played you. How would you tell your family?

**** 

You spent a few hours in a daze. Unsure of what to do. You didn’t even realize there was movement in front of you until two hands wrapped around your neck. 

“Weak and pathetic. You couldn’t even finish the job. I didn’t suffer through childbirth and family holidays and school and those stupid recitals and sport games just for you to quit on me now.” Lorraine, your mother was choking you. Part of you didn’t know if you should fight back. It was so surreal. “Do it. Turn into what I made you.” 

You scrambled to your feet in an effort to have the upper hand. Her grip was tight, nails digging into your flesh. You slipped your fingers in between her hands and your neck. The look on her face was terrifying. She sneered, her eyes almost black from rage. You weren’t sure where she got the strength to hold you down.

“Stop.” You hissed.

“Make me.” Lorraine leans in, her face inches away from yours. “We could rule the world. There is so much you’re capable of and I can teach you. You are meant to be the new fist of hydra. You’ll bring us into a new age but only if you give in.”

“It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to do this. I can get you help, you can see our family again. Do you really not care about them? Hydra doesn't care about you but we do.”

Lorraine scoffs. “No one has ever cared about me. You don’t have to be a lost cause. You just can’t see what I do. The world could lay at our feet, we could rule everything. We could be the most powerful people in the world. Why must you settle if you were made for such a great purpose? You could influence the ways of the world, hydra could continue to live through you.” She states. It’s all she cares about, the power and influence. She was a lost cause long before you were ever even born.

You stare her down for a moment and shake your head. “Hydra dies tonight. If it has to die with me, then so be it.”

Lorraine lets out a mixture of a groan and a screech of frustration. One of her hands lets go and she reaches behind her. You put your focus on the metal that is lying around and pull it towards you in order to use it to defend yourself. Lorraine holds a blade and brings it down toward your chest.

Pop.

Pop.

Pop.

Three quick gunshots. Two to the heart and one to the head. Lorraine’s eyes widen for a second and then she drops at your feet. From the darkness of the hallway Bucky steps out, gun still in hand. 

“Are you ok?” He asks hesitantly. 

You nod. “It’s over.” You murmur in disbelief.

Bucky rushes over when he sees the tears in your eyes. He doesn’t hesitate to bring you in for a comforting hug as you start to sob. 

“It’s ok, Sugar. I got you.” He murmurs. 

It took you some time to compose yourself. But in your defense you had gone from thinking you killed your own mother to her trying to kill you to your fiancé killing her instead. You didn’t even want to hurt her, that hadn’t been your intention at all. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Bucky didn’t give you a chance to protest. He manhandled you and took you outside. 

Taking gulps of fresh air, you began to cry again when you saw Steve standing a few feet away. Bucky pushed you in his direction before going back to the cabin. 

“Are you hurt?” Steve’s words are dripping with concern as he makes his way to you. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.” 

You didn’t answer. No one you knew had ever been in this position so they wouldn’t understand. You watched as Bucky walked out with your mother’s body wrapped in a blanket. He was gentle with her as he set her down and headed back inside. It made you want to throw up and you did. Steve held you up, offered you a bottle of water from a bag he had been carrying. It didn’t stop the sick feeling in your gut.  Bucky walks back out with all of the files in hand. 

“Let’s go.” Bucky says, handing Steve the files and trusting he’d help you back to the jet while taking the responsibility of carrying your mother. 

You sat quietly in the jet. Every few minutes you’d look to the side and see your dead mother laying there. The more you looked at her the angrier you got. Everything she’d put you through was just for power.  

“Hey,” Bucky called softly as he sat next to you, blocking your view. “How are you feeling?” 

“I don’t know. Sad? Angry? Relieved?” 

Bucky’s hand cups your cheek, his thumb moving back and forth. You can see the sadness reflected in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do that but when I saw that knife I had to act fast.” 

“It’s not your fault, you were only protecting me and I’ll always love you for that.” You say quietly before turning your head and kissing the palm of his hand. “How did you know I was here anyways?” 

“Henry went to Hill and asked to talk to me, he told me everything. He was worried about you. Lottie had a vision of your mom. Hill tracked the jet.” Bucky responds. “We had the team redirect here. Steve over there just had to join me to try and steal my thunder.” 

“Hey, she was my friend before she was the love of your life.” 

You give him a small smile. Steve gets up from the pilot’s seat and sits across from you. He pats your knee reassuringly. 

“Bucky told me about your mom. I’m sorry you went through all of that. Especially when it was someone that was supposed to protect you.” 

You give him a small nod. There wasn’t  much you could say. Your thoughts were on how and exactly what you were going to tell your family. The relationship you had with them could change forever in the next few hours. 

“Everything will be ok. I’m staying right by your side.” Bucky murmured as he pulled you in. 

Steve and Bucky looked at each other for a moment, a silent understanding that they’d need to be there for you. While Bucky held you Steve went back to the pilot’s chair. It would be a few more hours until you got home and then you’d have to face your family.

You turned the corner into the long hallway that led to many conference rooms with determination. Towards the end of the flight you’d decided that what’s done is done. Lorraine had made her choices and you’d made yours. The only thing you could do was tell your family the truth and give them the evidence you had and let them decide what they wanted to do. You couldn’t control their reactions but you could control yours.     

Halfway down the hallway Henry and Lottie sat outside one of the rooms. Their feet kicked back and forth as they waited. Lottie was mumbling something and patting Henry on the arm in a comforting manner. It made you genuinely smile to see them like this. 

Lottie saw you first and jumped off her seat in order to get to you. Her arms open wide, her pink teddy bear in one hand. Lottie launched herself into your waiting arms. You pulled her close and even gave her a little squeeze. She rewarded you by peppering kisses over your cheek. 

“You is kay mama?” Lottie asked once she pulled back. Her finger traced your cheek, up and over your brow and down your nose before ending the delicate touch with a small ‘boop’. 

“I am more than ok now my sweet Angel.” 

She smiles when you lean down and kiss her forehead. Your attention then turns to Henry who is standing not too far from you. The telltale signs of his nervousness present as he fluctuates in his invisibility. You reach out for him and he slowly makes his way to you. As you hold him, his form stays visible and he relaxes into your hug. 

“Mama, I’m sorry I know you di-“ 

“Never apologize for doing the right thing.” You cut him off while pulling away to look at him. “You followed your instincts and it was the right call, ok?” 

Henry nods before giving you one more hug. 

“Can you stay out here with your sister while I talk to our family?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Thank you, sweet boy.” 

You stand and take a deep breath. It was now or never. You had asked Bucky to make sure your family was at the compound by the time you got there. Steve was still with you when you walked in the room but he stayed in a corner, he was there more for moral support than anything else. 

With Bucky’s help you managed to get the blood off of you but you didn’t look great. Eddie was the first one out of his chair to hug you. Luke, Sofia and Josh followed soon after before settling back down in their chairs. You sit across the four of them and you feel sick to your stomach knowing what you have to do. 

“So before I start you have to know that what I’m going to say is very serious. I’m not joking about this situation. It’s going to be difficult to understand and even accept but I have proof to back up what I’m going to tell you.” You take a deep breath. “I also need you all to listen to everything I have to say.” 

“Kitten, what is going on?” 

“I need to tell you about what happened to me when hydra captured me last year. Specifically I need to tell you about who was responsible for everything.” You say as you grab the laptop in the middle of the table and connect the usb with all the evidence. 

You look over at Steve and then Bucky. Both of them giving you a nod to reassure you that they had your back. With one more calming breath you turn back to your family and begin to explain everything.

****

“So our mom and her family were involved with hydra?” Sofia asked after everything was said. By the tone in her voice you knew she had trouble believing you. 

“Yes. They were involved for generations. They were responsible for Henry, Lottie and the other kids. They were trying to create a new generation of soldiers.” 

“And she had us with the intention of using us to create more soldiers?” It was Joshua’s turn to question you.

You can only nod in response. Meanwhile Luke sits silently as he looks through the files you had given him. One for him, Molly, Olivia and their unborn baby. In the margins were the plans Lorraine had for them. 

Next to Luke sat your father. It looked like he was going to be sick. It was one thing to learn that your wife had treated one of your kids differently but it was another to realize you didn’t know the monster you had married. As he read his own file and even glanced over at Luke’s, Eddie wished he didn’t know any of this. 

“Dad?” You called him softly, worried that he might actually be sick. Maybe his heart couldn’t handle this. 

“Y/N,” he said quietly. It hurt to hear him call you by your name and not the affectionate nickname he had given you. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” 

“I was scared. I didn’t have enough evidence and I needed for you to believe me. Especially after I was taken. She was power hungry and she was willing to do anything to gain control of hydra.” 

“But you could have said something to me.” 

“Would you have believed me?” You ask. “Would any of you have believed what I said after I was rescued? I had been mentally and physically tortured. My autonomy had been taken from me. Anything I said at that time would have been questionable.”

Your family didn’t say anything. The tension was slowly rising in the room and then the one question you didn’t want to answer was asked. 

“Where is she now?” Sofia asks. 

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. The pain you felt from her death would surely be different than theirs but part of you still felt the loss in some weird way.

“She’s gone.” 

“What do you mean? Did she escape or something?” Joshua speaks up. 

Joshua and Sofia had been treated the best by her. Maybe she had found a little bit of maternal love for them in the cold and twisted heart she had. 

“No, I mean she’s gone, she died.” You deliver the news as gently as possible.

The truth hangs in the air and for the first time since reuniting it feels like your family is broken again. Your eyes stay glued to the table as you wait for their reactions. The only comfort you have is Bucky’s hand in yours. 

“You killed her.” It wasn’t a question or an accusation. Eddie just came to the realization much more quickly than your siblings had. 

“How could you kill her? She was still your mother.” 

“I-It’s complicated. I only wanted to bring her in. I gave her a choice.“

“But you killed her.” Sofia accuses.

“I killed her.” Bucky speaks up and everyone’s attention turns to him. “It was a life or death situation and I had to choose between Lorraine and Y/N. I did what I had to do to protect Y/N.” 

“You couldn’t have knocked her unconscious or something?” 

“She was choking Y/N. If I didn’t act fast this would be a completely different conversation.” Bucky defends himself. “Y/N’s safety was my priority. I’m sorry I really am but I did what I had to do.” 

Sofia gets up first, followed by Joshua and Luke. They take the files you gave them and leave, not saying another word to you. It crushed you to see how Lorraine had broken your family. Finally Eddie gets up and starts to walk out. 

“Dad?” 

“Let me handle this, I’ll talk to you soon.” Your father says and follows your siblings. 

Bucky pulls you into his chest. He comforts you while you cry. He whispers sweet reassurances as he guides you out of the conference room. The kids follow as Bucky takes you home. 

Bucky had ushered the kids into the playroom before pulling you along to your shared room. He didn’t say much as he helped you undress and sent you in to take a shower. Once you walked out Bucky got you into bed. He’d offered to stay with you but you wanted to be alone so he gave you space. 

It had been a difficult few days. Bucky could see the worry and anxiety grow with every moment that you didn’t hear from your father. You paced, you zoned out and you slept, nothing else. Not only was Bucky worried but so were the kids and the team. He’d even taken over making the final decisions on some things for the wedding. Not that he minded but he missed the excitement in your eyes as you talked about how great the day was going to be. All Bucky could do was be there for you, hold you while you cried and reassure you that you did nothing wrong. He shouldered the burden of having killed your mother so that you wouldn’t feel guilty about it for the rest of your life. But if you asked him, he’d do it again as long as it meant that you were safe by his side.

The kids also saw how down you were. They missed their mama. It was actually Henry’s idea to do something to cheer you up. So while you’d been sitting outside at Bucky’s insistence, he and the kids prepared a surprise for you. When you walked into your room you were surprised to find Henry and Lottie running out of your bathroom giggling. 

“What are you up to?” You asked with a small smile for the first time in days. 

“You’re just in time mama. Come look.” 

Henry takes your hand and pulls you into your bathroom. You find Bucky putting some finishing touches to a bubble bath. 

“What is going on?” You ask while looking around at the lit candles and bathtub. 

“We wanted to do something special for you.” Henry says before holding his hand up for you to see what he’s holding. “You can even use my boat so you don’t get bored.” 

“An my duckies mama.” 

You turn around to see Lottie holding up her little basket of rubber duckies. Most of them are dressed as the Avengers, your own duckie included. You wanted to cry again. For as much as you worried that your siblings hated you again, your family was right there showing you all the love you could ever need.

“The-uh you go mama.” Lottie says after dumping the duckies into the bath. 

Bucky ushered the kids out before telling you to relax and giving you a quick kiss.

****

Downstairs Bucky, Henry and Lottie rushed around trying to get another surprise ready for you. This had been Lottie’s idea. She had seen what happened and had been distraught but having you home eased her worries. Now all she wanted was to see her mama happy. 

“Hold this here.” Bucky held up a string of lights for Henry.

“Like this?” 

“Just like that bubs. Doll, grab that pillow and put it over there.” Lottie rushed around doing as she was told. 

The three of them freeze when they hear the door to your room open and close.

“It’s not weady.” Lottie looked at Bucky, panicked.

“I need like a minute. Go distract mama.” Bucky tells Lottie and she rushes out of the living room. 

She finds you at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Mama wook ovuh the-uh.” She points to a random spot behind you. 

You turn to look at the wall and try not to laugh. Then you turn back to look at her with furrowed brows. 

“What am I supposed to be looking at?” 

“Uh,” Lottie looks distraught as she tries to think of something. “It’s just so pwetty?” 

“The wall is pretty?” You say teasingly while looking back at the blank wall. 

You hear whispering but you can’t see where it’s coming from so you assume Henry is just invisible. Lottie looks up at you and smiles. 

“Kay mama come on.” She takes your hand and pulls you in the direction of the living room. 

You stop in your tracks when you see the lights and pillow fort. Bucky and Henry stand in the middle of the room smiling at you. The tv was on and an episode of the Golden Girls was ready to go. 

“Is this for me?” 

“Yeah.” Lottie nods as she looks up at you. “It’s a suwpwise. I don’t wike it when mama is sad.” 

That alone made you want to cry again. Instead you scoop Lottie up and hug her while walking towards Bucky and Henry. They join in on the hug and then you all find a comfortable place to sit. 

Lottie stays on your lap, Bucky sits next to you on the floor while Henry lounges on the couch behind you. He has his arm hanging over your shoulder. Even Alpine joins in for cuddles. The show plays but you can’t focus on it. All you can do is think about your sweet family and the fact that they’d do anything to make you happy the same way you'd do it for them. So you sit back and enjoy the moment pushing all the bad memories from the last few days out of your mind. 

The sun was starting to set as you were all still sitting together in the living room. You’d changed the show for a movie while the kids did some coloring. Your head was resting against Bucky’s shoulder as you yawned. Bucky was just about to suggest calling it a night when the doorbell rang. 

“Who the hell could it be at this hour?” Bucky mutters as he stands and makes his way to the door. 

There’s a hushed conversation before Bucky walks back. Behind him is Eddie. You tense and immediately you turn your gaze away from him. The kids, who usually ran towards their grandfather, stayed put. Everyone could feel the heaviness in the air. 

“Can we talk?” Is all your father asks so you get up and lead him outside to the back porch. 

Both of you sit in silence side by side, not knowing what to say. His expression was unreadable. It was one of the few times he ever concealed his feelings from you.

“How are they?” 

“How are you?” 

You asked at the same time. Eddie looked over at you, taking in your profile. He could see the tension in your shoulders and the way you clenched your jaw. He could see how exhausted you were. 

“Kitten.” Eddie said softly and you finally looked at him. You had never seen him look this tired or defeated. 

“How are they?” 

“Upset, confused, angry.” 

You nod and look away. “I’m sorry for not saying anything but you have to understand why I did what I did.” 

Eddie pats your shoulder before pulling you in for a hug. This time you don’t cry though. You’re done crying over this. 

“Kitten, I’m not blaming you.”

“They are. And I get it, I do. I’d also understand if you did too. She was your wife and you were together for so long.” 

“That woman was not my wife.” Eddie says. His tone is sad but resigned. “I was married to a stranger my whole life. She was a great actress though, I’ll tell you that much.”

You didn’t reply. What could you possibly say to him to ease the pain he was surely feeling? 

“Lorraine brought this on herself. As long as you tried to bring her in, alive, you have nothing to feel guilty about. She wasn’t a good person, kitten. I can see that now. You did what you had to do as an Avenger trying to protect innocent people and then as a mother trying to protect your family. You gave her a choice and she chose wrong. That doesn’t fall on you.”

“Thanks dad.” You say between quiet sniffles. He hugs you tighter. “As long as you don’t hate me.” 

“I could never hate you, you’re my girl.” 

You close your eyes and smile. He’s told you that all your life. The two of you sit in comfortable silence, holding each other and watching the sunset. 

“The funeral is tomorrow.” He said quietly, long after the last rays of sun had disappeared. 

“Oh.” 

“You should come, be there for your siblings. I think it could be good for the four of you.” 

“It wouldn’t.” You pull away from him. “She was their mother, not mine. I think I would just make it worse by showing up.” 

Eddie nods. “I understand, Kitten. I thought I would offer just in case. But don’t worry, your siblings will come around soon. They love you all.” He pats your thigh before getting up. 

You have one question. But you aren’t sure if you should ask. If it’s even appropriate. But seeing as your father knew you well, he stops before opening the door and turns to you again. 

“I hope this doesn’t change anything for the wedding. I’d still love to walk you down the aisle.” 

You look up at him, tears in your eyes and a smile on your lips. You give him a small nod. Eddie gets closer again and places a kiss on your forehead and leaves. 

Inside, Bucky meets Eddie at the bottom of the stairs after putting the kids to bed. Eddie stretches his hand to Bucky who seems surprised at the gesture.

“Thank you for bringing her back.” 

“Of course. I know it must be hard on Luke, Joshua and Sofia to just accept the death of their mother and not be able to bury her.” 

Eddie looks at Bucky confused before shaking his head. “No, I meant Y/N. I knew you’d keep her safe.” 

“With my life Ed. Listen about Lorraine- I really didn’t-“ 

Eddie raises a hand to stop Bucky. “You don’t have to explain yourself, you were protecting our girl, that’s all that matters. From what I’ve read in those files, she had it coming. If you hadn’t done it Lorraine would have kept coming after her. You not only kept Y/N safe but the rest of my family.” Eddie places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and looks him in the eye. “You protected our family. Never apologize or feel guilty about it.” 

Bucky only nods understanding that Eddie was including him as part of his family.

“To be honest, and I mean this in the best way possible, I’m glad it was you that did it and not her. She would have carried that guilt for the rest of her life.”

“I’d do it again, if I had to.” Bucky reassures the man in front of him. 

“Good. Well I’ll get going now. See you at the wedding.” 

Bucky smiles and nods, following Eddie to the door and closing it behind the older man. When he turns he sees you walking around and turning off lights before making your way towards him. He smiles as you throw yourself into his arms. 

“Let’s go to bed.” He says softly, feeling as you take a deep breath and exhale. 

You practically melt against Bucky as you nod. Bucky kisses the top of your head as his hold on you tightens. He doesn’t let you go, instead Bucky leans down and hooks his hands around the back of your knees. You wrap your legs around his waist as he makes his way up the stairs while carrying you to your shared room. 

Bucky lays you down and you laugh while he tucks you in. “Do you want me to read you a bedtime story?” 

“Shut up and get in bed.” 

“I keep telling you this is where Charlotte gets her attitude from.” Bucky mutters as he takes off his shirt and settles beside you. 

You laugh as Bucky pulls you closer. With a sigh you lay your head on Bucky’s chest. 

“Is everything ok?” He asks.

“I guess. The funeral is tomorrow.” 

“Do you want to go?” 

“No. I’m done with everything that has to do with Lorraine. I have more important things to focus on.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky looks down at you and smiles. “Like what?”

“Like marrying the love of my life.”

“Well that does sound like it’s super important.”

“It is.” You snuggle closer to Bucky. “I can’t wait to marry you.” 

“I can’t wait either, Sugar.” 

Ch. 39

Permanent taglist:

@rebekahdawkins

@cjand10 

@nalny5 

@Sturchling 

@angywritesstuff 

@seitmai

@writing-for-marvel

@goldylions 

@almosttoopizza 

@littleseasiren 

@pono-pura-vida

@talesofadragon

@midnightramyeoncravings

@bunnygirlwriter876

@pandaxnieenke

@kandis-mom

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@braveclementine

@otterlycanadian

Series taglist:

@buckystevelove

 @vicmc624 

@just-someone11

@sjsmith56 

@emily-roberts 

@spencerriedisagorgman

@superduckmilkshake 

@samfreakingwinchester

@lofaewrites

@enchantedbarnes

@callsign-athena

@broadwaybabe18

@saranghaey 

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@multifandom-girlie

@joliver1328

@noonespecial90

@mega-kittyglitter-1

@pumpkin-babydoll

@imaginexred

@olipiaa

@zuri-767-666

@thedonswife13

@waywardxrhea

[literaryavenger]

Y/N, entering the common room: I slept for 15 hours. What have I missed?

Sam, trying to be funny: this dick.

Y/N: oh thank god, I thought I missed something big.

Steve: *spits water*

Tony, proud: that's my daughter.

Bucky, prouder: that's my girl.

Rest of the team: *dies laughing*

Sam:

Sam: honestly, fuck you all.

Pepper, concerned: WAIT you slept 15 HOURS???

[imwall-e]

My SuperHero

Pairing : Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

Summary : Your son wants be someone special for Halloween.

Bucky always thought he was a monster, that he didn't deserve happiness. It changed when he met you. When you said yes. When you became Mrs Barnes. And when you gave him a child. A son. Still, the thoughts were here sometimes. Haunting him. What stopped them for good was what his son did on the day of Halloween. He only said "Dad, I'm dressing up as my favourite super hero". You and your son didn't want to tell him who it was, even if he was sure it was Captain America or Iron Man. Until he saw the toddler standing in the living room, his left arm made of aluminium, a red star on the shoulder. "Tell your dad what you told me", you said, standing near Bucky. "Dad, you are my favourite superhero."

[antiquarianfics]

Taken pt. 1

If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would go back to that morning. He would hold you a little tighter in his arms, and he would kiss you a little deeper. He would pull your daughter in between the two of you, letting her giggle as loudly as she wants whilst her parents kiss her cheeks and tickle her belly. If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would have told you not to go to the park—to go anywhere else. But Bucky Barnes can’t time travel, and his wife and daughter are gone.

A/N: I've been toying with this idea for a while, so... I have no idea how many parts this will be, but I am planning more than one, so stay tuned. Also. I'm sorry. Genre: Angst/Fluff / WC: 1,395 / Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Warnings: Kidnapping, canon-typical violence. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to copy or repost my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and reblog.

»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««

series masterlist | next part

»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««

Bucky groans tiredly as he kicks his shoes off at the door. His muscles ached pleasantly from his run, but his lack of sleep made his body feel heavy. He calls out a quick “Girls, I’m home” to announce his presence as he drops his keys into the dish by the door, but when he doesn’t receive any sort of response from within the apartment, he frowns.

He had left for his run after you and Rebecca left for the park. His daughter jumping up and down at his feet while she excitedly told him all she planned to do (“Daddy, daddy!” She had said, “I’m gonna slide on the loopy slide, then I’m gonna do the monkey bars, and then I’m gonna swing as high as I can and jump off!” Bucky had laughed at her joy, only thinking to tell her to be careful.)

He tentatively walks through the apartment, calling out your name. “They should’ve been back by now,” he thinks to himself, pulling his phone out to check if you’d texted to let him know you’d be late coming home. You hadn’t. He quickly realizes he’s alone, and calls your cell as his heart rate picks up.

Bucky is incredibly aware that he is likely overreacting—and that you are more than capable of protecting yourself and your daughter—but you always check in with him when plans change. His phone rings… and rings… and rings… then he hears your voice.

“Hey! This is Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes. I’m sorry I missed your call; leave a message and your number. I’ll give you a call back when I can.”

Bucky clenches his jaw, an uncomfortable feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. Something is wrong, but he just isn’t sure what.

He pulls his shoes back on, deciding to head to the Avenger’s Compound. It’s possible that if something came up, you’d head over without calling him. He doubted it, though. Biting his lip as he takes the stairs down as quickly as he can, he pulls up his contacts on his cell. He calls Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Steve; he asks if they had heard from you. They all say the same thing: No.

He calls you again. You still don’t answer. He’s never gotten to the Compound quicker.

—

“Woah, Buck. Calm down,” Steve says, trying to calm his best friend. “I’m sure everything is fine. Maybe she just left her phone at the park?”

“I checked the park!” Bucky yells, harsher than he means. He drags his hand over his face, taking a grounding breath. “I checked the park,” he says. Calmer. “I went there before I came here. They weren’t there, and I didn’t see her phone anywhere. I checked Becca’s favorite spots; I don’t think they’d go anywhere else.” He purses his lips, making eye contact with his friend.

“I have a bad feeling, Steve. Something happened.”

As if on cue, Natasha walks in the room to join the super soldiers.

“Tony’s been tracking her phone. Her cell connected to a tower in Germany approximately 20 minutes ago.”

“Germany?” Steve asks, eyebrows knitting together.

“Germany,” Natasha confirms, eyeing Bucky nervously.

Bucky turns Natasha’s words over carefully in his head, mouth silently forming the word “Germany.” He looks up at his best friend, then at your best friend, and purses his lips tightly together. He says nothing. Steve and Natasha share a look.

Silent Bucky is not a good sign.

Bucky let’s his body drop into a chair in the conference room Steve had pulled him into for privacy. He rests his elbows on his knees, lets his head fall into his hands. His worst fear, he realizes, is coming to fruition. He takes several deep, unsteady breaths before finally sitting up and facing his fellow Avengers.

“What else do we know?” He finally asks evenly.

—

“Mommy! Watch this!” Rebecca Barnes yells, making eye contact with you from the swings.

“I’m watching, baby,” you assure her. She smiles wide in response, and you can’t help but smile back.

Rebecca is only 4, but she thinks she’s older. She had watched the older kids jump from the swings and she was intent on copying them. If she could pump her legs enough to swing high, you wouldn’t let her, but she was unable to swing more than a couple feet without being pushed.

The little girl pumps her legs as hard as she can before she lets go of the swing’s chains and hops out. She lands unsteadily on her feet, but she manages to stay upright. She grins proudly, running up to you.

“Mommy! Did you see me? Did you see me?” She jumps up and down excitedly at your feet.

You smile proudly. “I did, you little daredevil!” You ruffle her hair.

You crouch down to Rebecca’s eye level, pushing a fly-away hair from her face.

“We need to go soon. We promised Daddy we’d have lunch with him, and you know how grumpy he gets when he doesn’t eat,” you tease.

Rebecca scrunches her face, putting her little hands on her hips like she’s seen you do. “He does get grumpy! Can I play a little longer, though?”

“Sure thing, sweet pea. But only 5 more minutes.”

She nods excitedly before running back to the swings, lying on her stomach to pretend to fly. You pull your phone out to double check the time before slipping it into your sports bra, a habit you developed to keep Becca from stealing it.

Five minutes pass and you call your daughter back to you. She pouts a little as she takes your hand, but when you remind her she has to go home to tell her dad about the park, she perks back up. The two of you begin your trek through the park back towards your apartment. Rebecca talks for most of it, pointing out flowers and bugs she sees, and boasting that she can count to 20 now.

The two of you are nearing the park’s entrance when you feel someone’s eyes on you. Cautiously, you start taking careful note of your surroundings, but you can’t pinpoint who or what has you uneasy. Clenching your jaw nervously, you scoop Rebecca into your arms, ignoring her protests. “Hush, baby,” you tell her softly, willing your legs to move faster.

You almost make it out of the park.

—

You wake up in what seems to be the back of some sort of aircraft, your head killing you. You raise a hand to the back of your head to find a tender bump. You groan. As you come to, memories of your morning at the park come racing back: watching Becca on the swings, walking home, the uneasy feeling in your gut.

You sit up straighter when you remember how uneasy you felt and slowly starting to put two and two together that you’d been kidnapped. In a panic, your eyes take in your surroundings in search of your daughter. You let out a breath of relief when you see her lying a couple feet to your right. You scramble over to her, pulling her into your arms. She’s unconscious still, but breathing. You check her for injury, and she seems relatively fine. There’s a spot of dried blood on her neck, though, and you think your captors must have drugged her.

Your captors. You hold your daughter tightly to your chest as you look around for any clues as to who took you. The taste of copper fills your mouth as you look, and you realize you’d been biting your cheek in your anxiety.

You spit the blood out of your mouth, grimacing at the sight of it.

Then you begin to catalogue what resources you might have to protect yourself and your daughter. You note that other than the bump on your head and the needle prick on Becca’s neck, the two of you have been left alone. That’s when you realize your phone is still in your bra. You glance around the aircraft, eyes settling on a camera in the corner.

You’re being watched.

You swallow, holding Becca closer to you, and decide not to pull out your phone. The longer your captors don’t know you have it, the more likely your phone can be tracked, and the more likely the Avengers—and more importantly, Bucky—can find you.

»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««

ko-fi

[buckrecs]

2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 1

masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - complete

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

1. hurts like hell by @extremelyblackandwhite

Bucky x Maximoff!Reader

she loses him at the battle of wakanda and grows into a morally grey witch trying to gain him back.

2. Broken by @soulgazingwithbucky

Bucky x Reader

You built the bridge between you and Bucky Barnes, but he only knows how to watch things burn.

3. Blood Petals by @picassho-18

Mob!Bucky x Assassin!Reader

When the famous death hungry assassin, the Blood Mistress, and the charismatic mob boss of Brooklyn city, James Barnes meet, heads will most definitely roll.

4. It’s A Match by @ofstarsandvibranium

Chubby!Bucky x Reader

You’re back home for Spring Break and you’re swiping through Tinder in the middle of the night. You come across the profile of your high school history teacher that you may or may not have had a slight crush on. Throwing impulse control out the window, you swipe right. Lo and behold, you’re shocked to find that you matched.

5. Ruin by @sinner-as-saint

Mob!Bucky x Reader

You work at a café owned by your family, close to your uni. And most of your days are pretty laid back and calm, but that is until you catch the eye of the mob boss. Your cute skirts and soft sweaters make him weak. Your innocence captivates him. And he wants you, badly. He wants you in his bed, wants his hand under those cute little skirts… he wants to ruin you. 

6. A Taste for Older Men by @seventven

DBF!Bucky x Reader

y/n is moving back in with her parents after breaking up with her college boyfriend. due to an emergency at work, y/n’s dad is unable to pick her up and sends his friend bucky in his stead. to bucky’s surprise, y/n is no longer the innocent girl he remembers from years back.

7. Always by @jadedvibes

Best Friend!Bucky x Reader

Bucky realizes he's in love with you right before graduation, but you accepted a job offer across the country. Fortunately, nothing, not even distance can hinder the way you feel about one another.

8. Running From the Past by @green-eyeddragonfanfiction

Bucky x Mutant!Reader

Reader is a mutant who was experimented on by HYDRA. Due to her unique powers, she escapes without being seen when the Avengers attack the Hydra compound she’s been kept in for the last 5 years of her life. Her mutations and Hydra experiments allow her to blend in with her surroundings and change her appearance in minor ways, though the changes are only temporary. She’s now on the run, avoiding both Hydra and SHIELD.

9. Operation: Faking It…? by @povlvr

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Surely faking a relationship to improve the public opinion of one beefy super solider known as Bucky Barnes would be the easiest of mission for two well seasoned Avengers? Tony Stark seems to think so & decides to task you with 'Operation: Faking it', but what happens when you realise there might be less faking needed than originally planned?

10. Misconceptions by @firefly-in-darkness

Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes overhears a conversation that he shouldn’t have…

11. Bucky & the Beast by @thejamesoldier

Assistant!Bucky x Boss!Reader

“You were an asshole back in high school but now you’re my boss.”

12. Buckyvision by @fictionalmemories ✨

Bucky x Reader

While fighting Wanda with you, Bucky gets hit with her power and wakes up to a reality that’s not his own.

13. Best. Date. Ever | Best. Proposal. Ever by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Bucky x Reader

This wasn’t quite what you had in mind.

14. Just Like You by @ladyfallonavenger

Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

The Reader loses Bucky in the snap and life presents a whole new challenge.

15. Heart of Steal by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader

Sir James is known throughout the lands as the most fearsome and honorable warrior. Ballads have been written about him. Men fear him. He is the most trusted knight of the King Henry. So why has he given up the glories of war and pledged his loyalty to Princess Y/N? 

16. will you love me tomorrow? by @buckys-darling

Bucky x Reader

You and Bucky are friends who fuck and nothing more. That’s what you’ll keep telling yourself, at least.

17. I Needed You by @ofheroesandvillains ✨

Bucky x Reader

Reader tries to make sense of her feelings, it doesn’t really go too well, especially when Bucky already has a girl. 

18. sweet by @noceurous

FWB!Bucky x Reader

it was something cliche but your fuck buddy fell for you nonetheless, even though you swore you would never do relationships again. But rules are meant to be broken.

19. Hope Of It All by @bethdutten ✨

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

set between WS and CW; after saving Steve and breaking from Hydra, Bucky remembers you from the helicarrier. He doesn’t know where else to go.

20. Season Of The Witch by @msmarvelwrites

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader

Your witchy abilities get you in quite a bit of trouble from time to time… But this time you don’t mind so much. 

21. The Last Word by @thefallenbibliophilequote

Bucky x Reader

you and Bucky never get along, it’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always finds ways to get on your nerves. You’ve had enough of it.

22. Super Mom by @marvelous-imagining

Bucky x Single Mom!Reader

23. Take Me Out by @shamevillain

Assassin!Bucky x Assassin!Reader

You and Bucky are both professionally trained assassins. Both contracted to kill the other. Both completely unaware.

24. Like I Want You by @tmpestuous

College!Bucky x Reader

you and bucky have been best friends your entire life and it’s never been anything but platonic. so why do things get so bad when he gets a new girlfriend?

25. Overthinking by @galaxy-siren

Bucky x Assistant!Reader

Tony and Bruce’s lab assistant, Y/N, is harboring feelings for Bucky. When she accidentally texts him that he’s cute, she overthinks the whole situation. It might just take the meddling of the other Avengers to work this out.

26. So This Is Love by @ofstarsandvibranium

Chubby!College!Bucky x Reader

friend and roommate, Bucky, is a bit of an annoying fuckboy. He sleeps around as well as tries to be as annoying to you as possible. But here’s the thing: you don’t mind any of it.

27. Some Alpha by @/ofstarsandvibranium

Alpha!Bucky x Reader

Bucky is an Alpha, but can never seem to find someone who wants him to be their Alpha. Until he finds you, a Beta, who’s as firey as an Alpha, yet also tender-hearted like an Omega.

28. The Favors by @bbyboybucket

Virgin!Bucky x Reader

Reader assumes that Bucky is experienced due to him being a ladies man in the 40s, however, she finds out that he’s never been touched and decides to help him out.

29. take my breath away by @buckycuddlebuddy ✨

Dilf!Neighbor!Pornstar!Bucky x Reader

who knew that your silent, very good-looking neighbor with the cutest kid was such a devil under his grumpy and quiet behavior... 

30. Capital Letters by @sinner-as-saint

Writer!Bucky x Assistant!Reader

James Buchanan Barnes, one of the best, most admired and affluent authors of your time turns out to be nothing but a heartless man... or so you thought. 

[vase-of-lilies]

Efforts to Make Amends

❀ Tfatws!Bucky x Mom!reader (f)

❀ Non-con and rape (DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT), past abuse, past parental abuse, mentions of captivity, fluff, childbirth, some suicidal ideation (but no actions), taking of virginity, some after sex bleeding, talking badly about a baby, pregnancy, dad bucky 🥺 (if there is anything else, PLEASE let me know!)

❀ Word Count: 6.3k

❀ A/N: This came to mind when I was just thinking about Buck:) I don’t know if this is already a concept, but if it is here is my take on it! :D

The cry of the newborn baby sent shivers down your spine. Not a scared shiver, or a nervous shiver. Just a shiver. You are her mother now, and you can not let this baby down. You won’t let this baby down. As the nurse gently handed the bundle of joy over to you in a pink blanket, you laid eyes on the most beautiful little thing in the world. With her eyes barely open to see, her blue eyes stared back into your own. 

Tears filled your eyes as you held her to your chest, her babbles slowly dying down to soft breaths. You smiled down at the tiny human in your arms, clutching onto your finger softly. You heard the heart monitor go off, and you immediately held your daughter tighter in your arms. Not wanting to let her go, not for one second. Your OB/GYN entered the room, smiling brightly with the paperwork of your brand new baby. 

“All is well with your little girl. I’ll let you decide on a name and we can fill out this boring stuff.” She chuckles and sits next to you on the bed. 

“Oh, I really like this one.” She hums softly at the baby names in question. She points to the fourth one on the list that you made on a piece of paper. “Clarisse” is the name she chose. It was your mother's name. Bright, shining, gentle, and brave. She was your advocate through the years you were held captive by your own father. 

Of course the circumstances of how this child came into this world is not how you imagined it, you are still eternally grateful to have her in your life. 

It was at this moment you knew all too well what you had to do. You had to start brand new; New name, address, hair color. Everything you can to stay away from the life you were forced into as a child. Going by the name Carla, you set off out of the police station with your new ID, and a new life ahead of you. You couldn’t hold back the smile that had formed on your face by the time you made it to the bus stop. 

Paying the bus driver, you sat down on the bench by the window. Carefully holding your newborn baby to your chest, you stare out the window at the passing cars, buildings, and people. All making their way home from work or even to work. Even the people who call themselves “superheroes” have a home to go to, don’t they? No matter where you go, you know you have to provide what's best for this baby. The police were some help, getting you your ID, colored contacts as well as a wig and a new passport. But it was a long, aggravating process. With every woman looking at your baby with prying eyes, getting ready to let their lips loose in the daily office gossip session. 

Finally, it was time to leave. It was time to leave the life you were previously living, and set off on a new adventure with a new companion.

~~~~~~~

Arriving at the airport, you follow the directions to buy a ticket to Spain. With what little Spanish you knew was not the problem at this point. It was getting away from a crime populated city such as New York. The culture, the people, and the ocean around the country felt like the safest option. 

“ID, ma’am.” You heard the woman at the desk say. Pulling out your ID, you make sure it is your new one. This has a special hidden key trustworthy people can scan that tells them you are a witness in protection. They are very caring with you, and question nothing if you hesitate with your new name. “Carla Davenport. Date of birth November eighteenth.” Fuck! What's the year?? “Year?” The woman asks. “U-uhm, 2001...” You almost say it as a question, but the woman smiles and hands you back your ID. 

“Enjoy Spain!” She says from the desk, and onto security you go.

~~~~~~~

The plane ride was long, and agonizing with how anxious you were. But Clarisse easily soothed your nerves. The looks people gave you were noticeable, and the last few people to board on the plane seemed reluctant to sit next to you. A newborn on a plane is someone's worst nightmare. But Clarisse was a sleepy girl, and slept a majority of the flight. The moments she did start to cry, you knew she either had to be changed, or was hungry. Once you went to the bathroom, you sat on the toilet and began to breastfeed your little girl.

The mirror that was across from you, a woman you barely recognized stared back. False black-dyed locks fell around an exhausted, hurt, and abused mother. There wasn’t much that stared back. You peeled your eyes away from the mirror, and pinned them back on your little girl. Clarisse was enjoying her milk, and was soon going to fall into a milk coma. You just knew it. 

Sighing as you sit back down, you look back out the window. The night sky was absolutely beautiful at this time, and you loved what it looked like. Even though Clarisse was asleep, you still pointed out the lights along the coast that shaped the continent of Africa, and soon to the lights that covered Madrid. Your new home town. 

As the plane landed, you stopped at the gift shop to get a Spanish-to-English dictionary to start learning. Also stopping at a small convenience store in the airport, you exchanged all of your US dollars to Euros and bought some diapers and a diaper bag as well. It was the small things that the program didn’t provide that seemed to be the biggest issues for you. But you were grateful for the small apartment they found, and even more grateful that they provided rent for the first year of living there. 

Getting a job will be difficult, but you knew that you would figure it out somehow. With how populated the world is, there is bound to be an English speaking job for you out there. But that was the least of your worries right now. What you needed the most was food, sleep, and a warm blanket for you and Clarisse. All that you needed for a couple nights was already at the apartment, and you were eternally grateful. 

Finally getting to the small one bedroom apartment, you immediately lock the door behind you, and set off to the small bedroom. There is a mattress on the floor as well as a few blankets and a pillow, but other than that nothing much else. It was simple, and you liked it. Just for you and your little girl. You smiled as you saw the view out the window. The beautiful city lights shone through the fire escape balcony, giving a soft glow in the bedroom. It felt safe. 

Getting out a diaper and some wipes, you begin to change Clarisse. “I know sweet girl, it’s been a long day.” You whisper, giving soft kisses to her face as she babbles into the open air. “Are you gonna sleep well tonight? Hm? Or are you gonna keep me up?” You chuckle at the small girl in front of you, and you softly tickle her sides. Her incoherent giggles are music to your ears, and it is nothing like you have ever heard before. “You are so beautiful my little flower.” You smile, nuzzling your nose against hers softly.

After getting Clarisse all settled, you decided to move the mattress just under the window to get the perfect view of the night sky. You lay your head on the pillow, a feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time. Your little girl snuggled right up next to you, and stared up at the sky as well. You knew she would grow up to be the best little girl there is, and there is no doubt about that.

~~~~~~~

Sweat covered your forehead as you ran through the cold Russian woods. Barely escaping the Hydra base with your ankles not broken. You kept running until you knew you were far enough away to take a breath. But oh... were you wrong. The Winter Soldier was right behind you, every step of the way. It almost felt like he was in the trees, stalking your every move just like your father had conditioned him to. 

The man was silent as he looked for you, but the silence screamed death. You were terrified, and rightfully so. Even trying to hold your breath so no one could see it, including you, was one of the only options to stay hidden. Besides trying to hide within the trees, and snow on the ground. It was hopeless. You could already hear the crunching of the snow underneath the heavy combat boots of the Winter Soldier coming your way. 

This was it, you were going to die. You never knew why your father kept you in the base, but he would not be disappointed to hear that you were gone for good. Maybe it was for the best. No one would have to worry about keeping you silent, or contained. With the secrets you know, you could uncover the world's most dangerous criminals, documents, and codes to plenty of nuclear energy. But you swore to your mother you would never tell a soul. She loved her husband and her daughter equally, but her caring nature made her keep the world she lived in safe. 

You were in your thoughts for too long. ‘Fuck-’ you suck in a breath, not moving an inch as you feel the cold blade barely cut into your neck. “Please...” you couldn’t believe you were begging for mercy, but you were strong. You had to stay alive; for your mother. “Cooperate and I won’t kill you...” the soldier said in a dark voice. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to kill you. 

Instead of questioning him, you gave a small nod. “Good girl.” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. Soon the cold spread from your arms all the way down to your most intimate parts. He had sliced away at your thin hospital-like gown, and stripped you bare. You couldn’t do anything with a knife to your neck so you stayed still. “Please d-don’t, I-I’ll go back wi-with you, just p-please!” You quietly beg him, but he has already stripped himself of his own tactical pants. 

He ignored your pleas, commanding you “Be a good girl and lay on your back...” A whimper left your throat and you froze. “N-no.” You stated, calmly. Instant regret filled your veins as he swiped his foot underneath yours and you fell to the ground. Your head hit a root sticking out from the ground and your vision was rendered blurry. “P-please...” Your attempt of a small plea exited your mouth, but you gave up. 

His veiny, god-like sculpted cock filled your cunt to the brim. You tried to scream, but nothing would come out. He started to thrust, and thrust, and thrust. It felt like it never ended. His blue eyes stared into your dull y/e/c eyes with no emotion or mercy. He was told to do this to you, and it traumatized you. With no luck, you tried to push him away but he was quick to pin your hands above your head with his strong arms. One metal, one flesh. 

“It's ok... just take it...” Was he trying to comfort you? 

“I- I can’t...” 

“You will.” That was the very last thing before you were left in darkness, unconscious and barely alive. 

~~~~~~~

Clarisse lets out a small cry, waking you up instantly. “Hey sweet pea, shh shh mommas got you.” You whisper to her, gently rocking her in your arms. You didn’t know what time it was, but you knew for sure you only slept a wink. You stayed up the rest of the night, helping her to sleep, feeding her every now and then, and getting only some sleep yourself. You were more than happy to stay awake for her, and that was a sacrifice you were willing to take. 

Once the sun started to come up, you yawned and decided to see what snacks you had brought from the airport. Some ChexMix and an apple was enough until you gathered enough courage to go grocery shopping. It had to be about 9:00 once Clarisse started to wake up. Swaying her as she drank from your breast, you hummed her a soft song and smiled from above her. As she drank, you began to grab what money you had, Charisse's baby bag and a face mask just in case someone did end up recognizing you. It would be lethal to have anyone from Hydra even know you exist. 

~~~~~~~

Bucky POV:

Of course I regret everything. I have to live with what I have done every day of my life, and deep down I know that I can’t blame myself for my actions. It’s not something to get used to. Some would say that I have gotten used to hearing the last breath come from someone's gurgling throat. Some would say that “he likes to watch them die.” But in truth, nothing is worse than seeing someone's life drain from their eyes just like a painting being washed away; the paint clinging to life to stay on the canvas but the water just too damn strong. 

A victim I remember very clearly, said whilst looking through the barrel of my gun “Fools make romance of death, for it is brutal and cruel. That I say be at peace with my passing is not such a thing. But once it is done, I will be safe and sound once more. I will live as long as I can, be with you as many days as we are sent, then keep me in your memories. I will see you again. That is a promise.” He was right, I would see him again. Not in heaven, or hell where I belong. But in my nightmares every single night. Therapy can only do so much for a broken, lost and helpless soldier. Let alone a 106 year old one. 

However, I was slowly making amends with the people who were fortunately left alive. Yori Nakasima, the sweet old man I have lunch with every Tuesday is just an example. He was not a victim, but his son was. He was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in turn he fell straight to the line of fire. My line of fire. No matter how much I try, I can never expel the begging that came from his mouth. He was innocent and had absolutely nothing to do with that mission. Simply… a loose knot that had to be tied tight. Yori and I went our own ways, and it makes me happy to see him still go to the same restaurant every Tuesday. He may not remember our conversation, but rest assured he can sleep knowing what happened to his son. 

One more name.

One more name and I can throw this damned book away.

Y/n Y/L/n. 

Y/n has been on this list for four to eight months now. Her name staring back at me with anger and regret. God why did her own father make me do this? Thoughts were racing through my head as I searched for Y/n, but nothing came up besides death certificates. She can’t be dead. She has to be alive, I know that she got out of there alive… Going deep into police, military and FBI/CIA records, along with the witness protection program as a sergeant, I was able to find someone by the name of Carla Davenport. I obviously knew this was wrong, and I was mostly doing this for myself. But there was one part of me that wanted to tell her that she is safe, and that she could finally rest with her guard down. 

Doing further research, I finally came across an address. I lucked out by being in Madrid at the time with Zemo and Sam while I did my research. All I had left was to confront her and tell her my intentions. Knowing Y/n, she would be feisty, careful but most likely fearless. I know her, and she would fight with every last cell of energy in her body to win. I slightly jump as I hear my phone buzz and I answer Sam.

“Hey Sam.” I said, jotting down Y/n’s new address. I heard a sigh on the other line, and I knew I was in for something. 

“I got a call from a CIA agent who found a breach in the witness protection program. Was that you?” Sam replies. 

“Uh, why would you think it would be me? I have no reason to be on that site in the first place.” Seriously? What kind of answer was that?? “Dr. Raynor told me you needed to find some people… Buck come on man, we could have done this together.” 

“Whatever happened to patient privacy? I found what I needed, so can I log out and be on my way?”

“Listen, I know you’re hurting. Especially over Y/n. I'll help you find her, but can we please do it the legal way?” He sounded convincing enough that he actually wanted to help, but I knew that it was just a ploy. Or, maybe that was my irrational thoughts talking for me.

“I’ve gotta do this on my own. She is the last one before I can finally go out and live how I want to. She will determine if I deserve to be free.” There was silence for a short period of time, and then another soft sigh from the man on the other line. 

“Alright, fine. But if I get one more phone call telling me you did something illegal, you’re kicked off my team for charades, and you are going to talk with Dr. Raynor. Do you understand?” 

I chuckled at his threat, and I nodded to myself. “Yeah, Sam. I understand. I wouldn’t want to bother Captain America with calls from random CIA agents about the site of witnesses in protection. This is honestly something Raynor should have let me do. She was the one who told me to “use your resources'' where there was nothing else to use. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow Buck. Have a good night.” 

Hanging up the phone, I sigh and I finish writing down the information from the website. Now that I knew where she lived, it would then be the hard part of everything. Telling her what I did, and apologizing for it. 

~~~~~~~

Your POV:

It had now been three full weeks of living in Madrid and you were living your best life! You had a desk job dealing with English complaints for a website that was fully in Spanish, and your little girl could be with you all day long. Being able to earn a stable living was nice in such a large and new country. Also with your new way of life, you were not living off of ramen and buttered toast. You were able to make full meals with fresh ingredients from the finest vendors just down the street from your apartment. Steamed vegetables, freshly cooked meat that only needed a little bit of heating in the oven and your own seasonings and finally the glorious, melt-in-your-mouth Churros con Chocolate was what you were blessed with for dessert. It was heaven, and you were living in it with such happiness. 

Clarisse is now one month old, and has been a little more aware of what she can do with her body. Even at this young age, she knows who you are and who you are to her. Soon she’ll be running around on two healthy legs with energy skyrocketing every second. Watching her grow up is the highlight of your life, and you never wanted it to end. Her eyes would scan each room you went through, each aisle you walked down, and even grabbed up at you from your arms as you made your way down to the baby section. Clothes, shoes, food. Clothes, shoes, food. All you needed was those three things, and you would be on your way. 

It was a relief that you had not encountered a challenge by anyone. Not when little Clarisse cried for a little bit, and not even when the panic set in at the sound of the bustling cars outside the store. It was a success, and you could not wait to get home. Checking out with ease, you held Clarisse close to you as you took your groceries in the small basket on the back of your bike, and strapped the little girl into her car seat carrier on the front of your bike. “All safe and sound, my sweet girl,” You whisper, gently putting her blanket over her. On the way back to your apartment, you followed the same route to and from. Two lefts, a right, up the hill and to the left. It was almost a song you replayed over and over in your head, just to help you get home. Just like your mother taught you;

Down the hall and to the left, a little bit longer, up the stairs and in my arms you go! This song was to navigate the hallways of the large house your father had bought your family before he decided to keep you as his own lab rat. 

Once you made it into the safe walls of your home, the lock was the first thing in place after putting your bike inside. Clarrise still strapped in her seat, you rolled the bike to the far wall of your kitchen. The babbling baby in her carrier made you smile as she reached out to you, her feet kicking in excitement as she made eye contact. 

Holding your little girl felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time. Not only was this life forced upon you, but this baby took everything from you. Your passion for dancing and painting, your want to go to college, desire to learn and grow. This creature that is in need of so much care and attention took all of that from you. But so did he. He hurt you the most. 

Every day memories flow through your brain like a movie projecting onto a loosely hanging sheet. Warped, but clear for a person to know what happened. It was your duty to Clarrise that she did not know your past, and that she was brought into this life in a way that is a crime. And she never had to know. Having her not grow up with a father was a sacrifice you were willing to take to keep her protected from the pain you went through.

Your alarm on your phone went off, and you sat down on the couch to feed Clarrise. As you unclipped your padded bra, you froze at the sound of a knock came from the front door. Luckily Clarrise didn’t seem too hungry at the moment, so you slowly approached the door. You looked through the peep hole and saw a man. He had short brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looked… gentle. 

As you held your child close to your chest you slowly opened the door.

“Can I help you?” 

He looked down at you, a hight difference clearly present. He smiled at the small child in your arms and responded to your question. “Im looking for Carla. Does she live here?” 

You nod and say “I am her, is there something I can do for you?” You ask again, wanting a reason for the sudden visit from this man. He looked back to your face and you made eye contact with him, it was his eyes that looked so familiar. 

“Right, I just moved in down the hall way and wanted to introduce myself. Im James Barnes, and I’m from 107, that way.” He pointed down the hall way and you followed his finger. You nodded with a smile. “Well, its nice to meet you James. Would you like to come in? I was just about to feed this little one, but if you don’t feel comfortable with breast feeding, you don’t have to come in.”

You invite him in, not thinking of the dangers or intents of this man. He kindly accepts and enters your small apartment. Offering him a seat on the couch, you sit down opposite from him in the rocking chair. Putting a cover over Clarrise, you begin to feed her, the milk coming from your breasts entering her mouth as she begins to feed. 

“What brings you to Spain? I don’t know a lot of English speakers here besides the land lord.” You say, wanting to start conversation. He nods and shrugs, smiling softly. 

“I just needed a change of scenery, thats all.” He keeps his answer simple, not knowing how to bring himself to tell you what he did. 

“Have I seen you around? You seem very familiar, maybe in the market?” You ask, knowing you have seen him somewhere. 

This was his chance, this is the time to tell her. 

“No, I don’t think it was in the market,” He says in a sad tone. “It was a while back, I- um, I worked with Hydra. For your father. A-and I was ordered to do something very harmful to you, and I believe it was the result of- of her…” He slowly explains as he takes off his glove, revealing his metal hand. 

Your heart drops, the puzzle piece finally fitting in the right place in your mind. Tears pool in your eyes as you look from his eyes to his hand. The metal one. The memories come flooding back to your head, the nightmares, the feelings, and the eyes. His eyes, those got forbidden eyes. As cold as ice, yet as blue as the ocean of where you pictured yourself at the time of his assault. 

"I am only here to apologize. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am no longer the winte-”

“Why,” you cut him off. “Why did you do it?” Your voice cracks, many emotions coming through your gritted teeth. 

His eyes softened at your broken voice, and he sighs softly looking down at his hand. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“What did my father do? What did he do to you?” You ask, pity also filling your voice as you too know what horrors other prisoners went through. You felt bad, even for him. You tear your eyes away from him, moving them to your baby, his baby. 

“He did horrible things, but nothing compares to what he did to you. What he made me do to you. I- Im so sorry Y/n…” He takes the risk of saying your name, not expecting anything from it. 

“What are you doing here, James? What do you expect me to do?” I ask, trying to understand why he is here. “Did you come to finish the job?” You ask the question that dreaded your mind the moment he told you who he was. 

“No, not at all. I actually came here to offer protection. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me or the life you had to endure when under the horrors of Hydra.”

You considered. You actually considered letting him stay and try to protect you. “What or who am I in danger of?” You counter his offer, trying to prove something but unsure of what. You sigh and shake your head. “Forget about it. Im in the witness protection program, so protection shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Carla. How do you think I found you?” He asks, exposing what he did to find you. 

Your brows furrowed and you glared at him. “I see.”

You didn’t engage anymore, you were numb and didn’t know how to feel about the situation. You felt violated all over again, by the same man. “Leave. Please just go.” You whisper, tears falling freely down your cheeks. Once Clarrise was done eating, you clipped your breast back into your bra and stood up. You didn’t notice James put a card on your coffee table as he made his way to your door. 

“I understand your fears. I hope you have found safety in Spain, Carla.” He said emotionlessly, actually understanding your fears. As he went back to his apartment which he did actually buy, he sighed and shut the door. 

As he dialed the only phone number he actually knew, he slid down the door and sat against it as the line rung. He closed his eyes and let his head hit the door. 

“Hey, you’ve reached Sam Wilson, Trauma counselor at the department of veterans affairs. Please leave a message and I will call you back when I’m free. Thanks!”

“Sam, It’s done. She- She’s crossed off the list.” 

~~~~~~~

Hours had passed by the time you could even speak. “How could he have found us?” You ask as you bounce Clarrise in your arms. The sleeping little girl in your arms was clueless to your question, hopefully dreaming of running free and not in hiding anymore. “My god, maybe it would be good to have protection…” 

You were talking to Clarrise as if she understood, but you knew she didn’t. You give her head a small kiss, looking in the direction of the coffee table in the middle of your small living room. An index card sat on the corner, scribbled on it was a phone number and a sloppy “107” on the bottom. You knew who this was from. 

You sighed and sat on the couch, cuddling your baby close to your chest, clutching her as if she would disappear. Staring at the piece of paper in your hands you contemplate calling him, contemplating on apologizing. Apologizing on your fathers behalf. 

Before you could stop yourself, you reached for your phone and dialed the number. 

~~~~~~~

Bucky jumped at the ring of his cell phone. He instantly recognized the number from the witness protection program website. 

“Hello?”

You took a few seconds before talking. “I know you know who this is. I’m making dinner a-and was wondering if you would like to join me?”

Bucky was taken a back by the sudden invitation, “Oh, sure I would love to. What time should I be there?” 

Responding rather quickly, you said, “Now?”

Before he could say anything, you had hung up and began making dinner. Boiling water for the noodles, opening up some seasonings you had just bought and putting the bread in the oven, you were ready for James. 

He knocked on your door and you put Clarrise in her bassinet in the living room, keeping an eye on her as you cooked. As you opened the door, you smiled softly at James. Instead of fearing him, you wrap your arms around him. He freezes, not yet used to such a gentle gesture from someone. 

As you sigh into him, he returns the hug and softly wraps his arms around you too. “Im so sorry James. Im sorry for everything my father did to you…” You know you shouldn’t have to apologize, but you can’t help but feel obligated knowing what James went through. 

“No, you have nothing to apologize for. It was and never will be your fault. Do you understand me?” James said, giving you a soft squeeze. 

You nod silently in response, and you gently pull away; tears falling from your eyes. Out of instinct, he cups your cheek and tenderly wipes the tears from your cheeks.

You lean into his benevolent touch and look up at him, a sense of security falling over yourself. Even though you knew him as the winter soldier, you knew you were safe with James. You knew that Clarrise was his child as well, and that she was safe with James. 

Gently reaching for his hand, you lead him into your home. He shuts the door behind him, and smiles as you walk to the kitchen continuing your work making dinner. You pause and look over at Clarrise who is now wide awake. 

“Do you want to meet her?” You ask, noticing James looking over at the babbling baby. 

He nods with a smile, subconsciously knowing that Clarrise is his child. As you approach the bassinet, you smile down at her. “Hi sweetheart, are you awake?” You ask in a small voice, smiling as she smiles back up at you. Picking her up, you hold her against your chest, looking to James with a smile. 

“I named her Clarrise, after my mother. Do you want to give her a middle name?” You ask, subconsciously accepting that he is her father. He looked to you and tilted his head. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, not wanting to force himself into the life you and Clarrise already have. You nod and wait for him to give an answer. “What about Sarah? After my sister?” 

Your ears perked at the word ‘sister,’ “You have a sister?” You ask with smile. 

“I had a sister. She um, she passed away a couple years ago. But she was sweet, and I think that it would be perfect for this sweet girl as well.” You smile at his suggestion and nod in approval. 

“Clarrise Sarah Barnes.” You utter, gently handing James your baby girl. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt her, I know you won’t.” Looking up at him, you can see the hesitation in his eyes. As he takes Clarrise in his arms, the connection is clear between them. A father-daughter bond that no one can just create. She was his.

“She’s beautiful, just like her mother.” He subtly compliments you, himself falling for you. This time in the form of true love, not forced love. You feel your cheeks heat up, a shy smile pulling at your lips. 

“She has her fathers eyes,” You point out Clarrise's blue eyes, still slightly forming as she grows. “And his bravery.” Adding onto her attribute, you look at James face as he interacts with the baby. 

Thinking of his preposition, you say to him, “You know, I wouldn’t mind a little protection. I-it would be nice to not feel so scared going out. Clarrise I bet would love to have her father around as well.” 

You anxiously wait for James’s reaction, hoping he doesn’t think you are moving to fast. Relief flooded your system as he nods. “I promise you, no one will hurt you. Not anymore.” He says, turning his head back to you. “I promise, Carla.”

You shake your head, and wave your hand a little bit. “Y/n is fine. Im sick of being someone Im not.”

He chuckles softly. “Trust me, I get it.” You smile and you move next to him, leaning on his strong bicep as you both look down at your beautiful baby girl. 

“James?”

“Yes, Y/n?” 

You pause.

You smile as he transfers Clarrise back into your arms. She has fallen asleep again, so you put her back in her bassinet. With the knowledge that both of her parents looking down at her, it makes you feel secure and safe. 

You turn to Bucky and look up at him, your hands coming to meet his cheeks. The proximity of the both of you made your heart beat quicker, and your mind blank. You did what you felt was right and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. His hands hold your waist gently, and he pulls you into him. You pull away breathlessly and he kisses your temple. You move your arms around his torso, and he holds you in an embrace, his chin resting on your head.

"I’d like you to stay. Please.” You answer, a sigh of relief escaping your mouth as you feel him nod his head. 

“Of course, princess, of course.” He cradles the back of your head in his large hand and kisses your forehead once again. He may have hurt you in the past, but he’s gained a little bit of your trust. He showed you that he is sorry, and you understand that it was not his fault. In this new chapter of your life, you know you will make it far.

And so will your baby girl. 

[buckyalpine]

Your Daughter ii

Bucky x single mom reader, Steve, Sam

This is just all FLUFF

Imagine Bucky babysitting your four year old daughter for the first time. You have a conference you have to go to last minute and you’ve never left her alone with anyone else before. Bucky hates seeing the way the worry eats you, wondering who could look after her on such short notice. He loves spending time with your baby so he has no problem offering his time if that's something you’re okay with. 

You don’t want to pressure him into anything but you’re beyond grateful because there's no one else you trust more and you know she’d feel safe with him. 

“Be good for Prince Charming, alright?” You whisper, making her giggle, giving her a kiss on her cheek. She nods, going back inside to finish her breakfast, already excited about the weekend she’s going to have with mommy’s special friend. Mommy had lots of friends but Bucky was her favorite. 

As soon as you’re out the door, Bucky starts to feel nervous. He wants to do a good job and show you he’s in this for the long run, he’s here for the both of you. Your daughter is an absolute angel, so he knows he has nothing to worry about but still. He looks over the checklist you left for him, memorizing everything on it just to be safe.

He goes over to the kitchen, where your little one has finished eating, tip toeing over the sink to wash her hands. He lifts her onto a stool, helping her clean off before they go over to the living room and plop down on the sofa.  

“What do you want to do today princess” 

“It’s Saturday” She made a thinking face while clambering into his large lap, “Oh! We bake on Saturday” 

Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he picked up a whisk or spatula but he wasn’t going to break tradition or disappoint the cutest face he’d seen in his life. He nodded, scooping her up in one arm, scrolling through recipes on his phone, setting her down on the kitchen island. 

“How about sugar cookies?” He took your daughters wide eyes and clapping hands as an immediate yes, grabbing what he needed from the cupboards and fridge. It didn’t take long for the kitchen to turn upside down but the sweet aroma of cookies wafting through the house made Bucky smile. He chuckled at the soft giggles your little one made as she iced each cookie, pink frosting smeared across her nose and cheeks, though not seeming to care one bit. Bucky felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, immediately grabbing it incase if was you. 

“How you holdin’ up punk” Bucky can could hear the smile in Steve’s voice, his best friend knowing how big a step this was for him. 

“We’re both alive” Bucky snorted, looking at the mess of sprinkles and sugar around the kitchen, nothing too disastrous. “We made enough cookies to feed an army”

“Say no more” 

Bucky and your daughter both do a perfect job of cleaning up the mess, thought struggling to find enough containers to put all the cookies in. She decides a tea party would be a good idea as an excuse to eat the cookies that didn’t fit into the boxes. 

Who was he to disagree? He helped her pick out a dress to wear along with matching shoes, softly brushing her hair and tying bows into her pigtails. He changed out of his flour covered clothes, cleaning himself up for a distinguished night of apple juice, cookies, carrot sticks and Beauty and the Beast. 

The doorbell rings and your daughter sets down her cup, wondering who it could be. 

“Mommy’s home?” She looks at him with curious eyes, just a tad bit disappointed all the fun is already ending. Or so she thought. 

Your babygirl has no idea what to do with herself when she's surrounded by Prince Charming's handsome friends. She hides behind Bucky’s large form, peeking from behind him before taking Steve and Sam’s large hands in her tiny ones over to her set up. 

If only you were there to witness the sight of the large men all clambered together in a circle with their pinkies up, holding cups that could fit in their palms. They’re all in various get ups your little one dressed them up in, tiaras, feathers, lace and beads strewn across them. 

Steve made a mental note to cry happy tears later, not now, watching your daughter dote over Bucky the most, constantly filling his cup, inching towards his side whenever she sat down. 

Sam was between wanting to laugh at the super solider nearly topping off the 1 foot chair he was given and crying over how cute little your babygirl was, politely making the rounds with her tray of cookies. His eyes may or may not have glossed over when she ignored her own chair and decided Bucky’s lap was a comfier place to sit. 

“You sit down and relax princess, how about you get changed and let us take care of all this” Steve smiled, clearing up the cups and plates, letting Bucky take your daughter up to get washed and changed into her pj’s. By the time she was back down, all she had to do was get comfy and pick a movie, happily snuggled between the her favorite Prince and his handsome Knight friends. 

As you walk though the door, your eyes grow wide at the mass of large shoes on the mat, smiling curiously when you can hear your baby's favorite movie and the smell of cookies still lingering around the house. You quietly padded down the hall, biting your lip seeing the three men all squished together on your sofa with your babygirl tucked right in the middle, their eyes all glues to the screen. 

Sam pawed at Steve’s thigh, silently asking for a tissue, as Belle cries over Beast, waiting for him to wake up. Your daughter was the first to notice you were home, the rest of the audience too heavily invested in the movie. 

“Mommy look! It’s our favorite part!” She wiggled out of her comfy spot, jumping into your arms as you scooped her up. 

The three men, looked up at you, all teary eyed, while your little one grinned, excited to see Beast transform into Adam so he could be happy with Belle. You giggled, watching Steve pass the box of tissues over again, collective sniffles shared between the three.

Sam and Steve shared knowing glances, noting the way Bucky’s cheeks were now tinted pink, looking lovingly at you and your daughter. They quickly said their good byes, not before promising your little one they’d be to see her again; they wouldn’t miss her tea parties for the world. 

You tucked your daughter in for the night, making your way back down to find Bucky holding two mugs of tea, setting them down on the coffee table and tugging you into his lap on the couch. 

“Welcome home, mama” He smiled, kissing your hair, his hand massaging up and down your spine. He’d never felt more loved and happy in his life, feeling like he finally had a little family to himself, a place to call home. 

“She loves spending time with you” You relaxed in his hold, toying with is dog tags, smiling to yourself over how perfect it all felt. The piece that always felt missing in your home was complete when Bucky was around. “We both do” 

He smiled against your hair, feeling more confident in his decision, thinking about the ring that sat in his drawer back at the compound. 

Soon. 

“I love you” He smiled, holding you tightly in his arms, “I love you both” 

[terry-perry]

Can I request of Jack is clinging on Y/n like koala. Like when Bucky try to pry him off of her but he said “No! I’m staying with mommy and protect her!”

Jack's clingy behavior was out of character for him. The majority of the time, he was such a sweet boy who could entertain himself. Bucky knew what was going on with him, though.

He knew this was coming from the last mission that led you to be gone for over a month. Bucky himself grew anxious when your communication got more and more limited with each day you were gone. He worried about how long it would be before you returned home, especially when Jack soon realized you weren't there yet. As the days went by, he would wail for you. It was a heartbreaking experience for Bucky, but he did what he could to bear it for Jack's sake.

Eventually, you returned home to your boys. As a result, Jack has refused to leave your side. He never left you alone and even lost interest in the things he used to love like his favorite toys and play fighting with Bucky. Every night since you got home, he refused to stay in his room and slept in between you and Bucky.

"Mama!" Jack squealed as he reached out to grab a hold of your leg.

You couldn't help but feel a maternal tug on your heart. Then when Bucky decided to try to pry him off you and Jack replied with a "No!", you practically teared up.

You and Bucky always knew you had to do whatever it took to protect your son. Perhaps he felt he needed to do what he could to protect you and make sure you were there, safe with him.

[navybrat817]

(Im)Patiently Waiting

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader

Summary: Bucky is trying to patiently wait for your call.

Word Count: Over 1.4k

Warnings: Fluff, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and already whipped, okay?)

A/N: Continuing with Moving in Slow Motion and Heart and Home, the phone call! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky looked down at the phone in his hand. He was never the kind of guy to constantly check his device, but he hadn’t stopped looking at it since he met you. Hell, he checked it while he was still at the museum, hoping for a text or something so he’d have your number, too. He didn’t think it was possible to become whipped so fast, but life still surprised him.

He sighed when the screen went dark. Why hadn’t you called yet? Maybe he came on too strong? He didn’t think he had. Were you just busy? Probably. You had an adorable daughter who needed you love and attention and-

“Bucky!”

His head snapped up to find Steve, his best friend and second-in-command, staring at him. He didn’t look impressed and pursued his lips more when Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t hear a damn word I said, did you?”

“No,” he replied, not bothering to lie. “Was I supposed to be listening, punk?”

“Yeah, you were, jerk.” Steve ran a hand through his golden hair, plopping down in his chair. “Still hasn’t called yet?”

“Not yet,” he said, setting the phone on the desk in front of him.

“I’m sorry.”

Bucky sighed again, staring off at the books that lined one of the walls of his office. He didn’t divulge much of his personal life to others. It was safer that way, to both protect himself and the people he cared about. But meeting you and your daughter, he told Steve and their small circle all about it. How Sweet Pea bumped into him and his heart melted. How seeing you set his heart on fire.

They were stunned to say the least and were naturally curious about you since you caught his attention. Each of them offered in some way to do their research on you and make sure there was nothing suspicious or dangerous about you, but he refused. His gut instinct told him all he needed to know.

“You know,” Steve began, pulling his attention back. “We can get you her number if-”

He cut him off with a glare. “I already said no,” he growled, taking a breath. He wasn’t going to snap at his best friend. “I’m doing this the right way.”

Bucky was powerful, extremely powerful, but he wouldn’t use his influence over you. It wouldn’t be right. His hands were dirty as it was, and this could be his chance to have something pure.

With his hands up in surrender, Steve nodded. “Sorry. I just… I haven’t seen you like this before and you haven’t even gone on a date with her yet,” he smiled a little. “She must be something special.”

Bucky smiled a little, too. “She is,” he whispered. Things that didn’t make sense before did after he looked in your eyes.

“Yelena will be the judge of that,” the blonde winked.

“Yelena will take one look at Sweet Pea and declare that she’s her aunt,” Bucky teased, both of them chuckling.

If Bucky’s group taught him anything, it was that blood wasn’t always thicker than water. Friends were the family he got to choose. He would defend and protect them with his life. He imagined you were like that with your daughter, perhaps even more.

Who defended and protected you?

A ring echoed in the office and Bucky stared at the device as it lit up. He held his breath when a phone number popped up with no name. His gaze flickered to Steve as it kept ringing. Was it you?

Steve stared back at him like he had grown two heads. “What the hell are you waiting for? Answer it!”

Clearing his throat, he waved for his friend to go, who did so quickly. If it was you, he didn’t want anyone eavesdropping. If it wasn’t you, he didn’t want any witnesses when his face fell.

Releasing his breath, he finally quietly answered, “This is Bucky.”

“Hi, Bucky,” you spoke on the other end, stating your name as well. He slumped in his chair at the sound of your voice, his heart skipping a beat. It was really you. “I don’t know if you remember me, but we met at the science museum.”

“Of course, I remember you. You and Sweet Pea.” He couldn’t forget either of you if he tried and he didn’t want to. Did you think of him as much as he thought of you? “How are you two doing? Did she win the contest?”

“We’re doing just fine. She keeps talking about the museum and wants to go back, but no word if she won the contest or not.” He could hear the smile in your voice and it put a smile on his face, too. “How are you?”

“I’m doing just fine,” he replied, getting up and heading to the sofa so he could relax a bit more. He was better than fine since he was talking to you.

“Sorry it took me a bit to call you.”

Should he admit that he kept checking his phone in anticipation? “No, no. You don’t need to apologize,” he said. You didn’t owe him an explanation either. Whether you were busy with Sweet Pea or you didn’t want to call right away, that was your business. “I’m just glad you called.”

“I am, too.” There was silence on the other end. “So, I, um…” Your nervous giggle was beautifully endearing. “God, I’m really out of practice with this.”

“Practice with what exactly?” he smiled, laying back and looking at the ceiling. He wondered if you were sitting on a sofa, too. Or maybe you were in bed, comfortable, unwinding.

“Talking, I guess. At least with someone outside of work or parenting.” There was that giggle again. He wanted that sound on a loop. “I’m not even sure where to start.”

“Why don’t you start with what you did today?” he suggested.

“That might bore you.”

“I don’t think anything you could say could possibly bore me,” he sincerely said. If you decided to pick up a phone book and read it to him, he’d listen. But he was genuinely interested in your day. The little things would help him get to know you better and build more of that connection, both with who you were as a mother and as a person.

“Okay, but only if you tell me about your day, too,” you said.

“Now my day might bore you,” he chuckled. He wouldn’t start anything with you built on a lie about what he did, but he had to be careful with the truth.

“Mmm. I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a boring kind of guy.”

“Oh, I’m not boring,” he smirked. He would love to show you just how thrilling he could be some time. “But my day might be.”

“Try me,” you smiled.

“Can I ask you something before we talk about our ‘boring’ days?”

“Yeah, anything,” you answered.

Butterflies filled his stomach. Jesus, he was nervous. When was the last time anything made him feel nervous? “Would you like to get a drink with me?”

The pause on your end didn’t soothe his nerves. “A drink?” you repeated, your voice smaller than before. He detected uncertainty, like when he offered you his number.

“Yeah. Coffee at a cafe or wine at a nice restaurant, whatever you want,” he replied, exhaling slowly. He didn’t want to mess up your schedule or over complicate anything for you. “What do you say?”

Bucky stared down the barrel of a gun more than once in his life. He experienced torture. Had come close to death. Waiting for your answer was a different kind of torment. It would either be a killing blow or his saving grace.

“I’d love to get a coffee with you,” you stated, allowing him to properly breathe again. He wanted to pump his fist in the air. “Tomorrow, maybe? Unless that’s too soon. Is it too soon?”

“No, no, that’s great,” he smiled. He couldn’t stop smiling. Even if wasn’t free tomorrow, he’d clear his schedule. “Give me the time and place and I’ll be there.”

“Great.” The uncertainty was long gone. “There’s a cafe not too far from me. I can text you the place and time.”

“I’ll be waiting,” he promised, and he wouldn’t be late. “Now… tell me about your day.”

He was going to soak up every single word until he saw you in the morning.

You called! He's whipped! You have a date! I still need to name this AU. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Hear me out: reader & Bucky have a newborn, and a nurse recommends skin-to-skin for their baby.

(a bunch of fluff where reader encourages Bucky to do skin-to-skin with their newborn baby, because he’s not his past, and he should be quite literally embracing his future)

Skin To Skin » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Husband/Dad!Bucky Barnes x Wife/Mom!Reader with baby girl Evie

Summary: You and Bucky just had a baby girl and a nurse recommends skin to skin for yours and his baby and you encourage him to do it.

Warnings: Fluff, language, kissing, nicknames/pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creator @aliciavikander

You and Bucky gaze down at yours and his newborn baby girl Evie with a look of adoration on your faces. She was born a few hours ago. You and Bucky are completely astonished by her. A nurse comes in the room to check on you guys to see how you, Bucky, and your newborn baby girl are doing, accidentally interrupting the cute moment.

“I’m sorry to break up the cute moment.” The nurse apologizes with a smile. “I just wanted to see how you three are doing.” She says.

“We’re doing amazing.” You say, not taking your eyes off of your daughter.

“You know…” She starts. “Skin to skin contact is really good for newborns.” She recommends.

“What’s that?” Bucky asks.

“It’s simple. You hold your baby against your skin so she can get to know you better.” She explains. “Take your shirt off and I’ll put her on your chest.” She says.

Bucky hesitantly took off his shirt, worried that the nurse would say something about his scars and vibranium arm, but she didn’t. The nurse gently took Evie from your arms and carefully placed her on Bucky’s bare chest. He protectively wrapped his arms around Evie.

“Hi, sweet girl.” Bucky’s voice is soft as he’s talking to his daughter. “I’m your daddy.” He tells her.

“You’re doing such an amazing job, babe.” You say with a smile.

Bucky smiles widely at your praise. Evie made a small cooing noise that made yours and Bucky’s hearts melt with joy. In that moment, Bucky knew he has a new responsibility in his life.

A couple days later, you were released from the hospital and you and Bucky were able to take your baby girl home. You two got settled in with Evie. You were sitting on the couch doing skin to skin with Evie after feeding her. You gently rubbed her back and gave her kisses.

“There’s my girls.” Bucky smiles, walking in the living room and sat down on the couch next to you. “What’re you doing?” He asks.

“I just fed her and now we’re doing skin to skin.” You tell him and kissed the top of Evie’s semi bald head. “You want skin to skin time with her?” You asked.

“I don’t want to ruin your mother daughter moment.” He says.

“It’s ok.” You smile. “I need to take a shower. I smell like a hospital.” You say.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“I’m sure.” You said. “You’re not going to hurt her, Bucky.” You assured him. “You’re her daddy.” You say.

Bucky smiles at your words. He leaned forward to take off his t-shirt and leaned back on the couch. You carefully moved Evie from your chest to Bucky’s chest. Just like at the hospital, Bucky protectively wrapped his arms around her.

“Mama will be right back.” You whispered to Evie and kissed her chubby cheek.

You stood up from the couch and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Meanwhile, Bucky feels a new warmth in his heart while holding his daughter. This is the second time he’s felt that warmth. The first time was when he met you and knew you’re the one for him.

“You know…” Bucky looks at his baby girl. “You have your mommy’s beauty.” He tells her. “You’re just too cute for your own good, aren’t you, sweetheart?” He coos at her.

Evie yawned before looking up at her daddy with her beautiful blue eyes. Bucky smiles at her.

“You have my eyes.” He tells her.

Evie made a cooing noise as Bucky continued to talk to her. As he was talking to her, her small hand was placed on his Army dog tags.

“Do you want to know where I got those, baby girl?” Bucky asks her. “I got them in the Army years ago. Uncle Steve has the same ones with his name on it.” He tells her. “Uncle Steve is your godfather and he’s going to be your favorite uncle. Even though, uncle Sam thinks he has that spot claimed.” He says.

As Bucky continues to talk to Evie, you stopped in the entrance of the living room and leaned against the wall, listening to Bucky talk to yours and his baby girl.

“I’m going to do everything I can to protect you and your mommy.” Bucky tells her. “Your mommy is the love of my life and you’re the light of my life.” He continues. “I learned how to be happy again when I met your mommy.” He says.

His words made your eyes tear up. You walked in the living room and sat down on the couch next to your husband and daughter, giving them a kiss on their cheeks.

“There’s mama.” He coos.

You smile and lay your head against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Me and Evie were having a conversation while you were in the shower.” Bucky says.

“I heard the end of it.” You smile. “You vowing to protect us is really sweet of you.” You say.

“I mean every word of it, doll.” Bucky states. “I don’t want anything in this world to hurt you and our precious little girl.” He says.

You couldn’t help but smile at his words. You lifted your head and leaned up, kissing Bucky’s lips sweetly.

“I also heard you say that Steve is going to be her favorite uncle.” You say.

“He is.” He says, smiling widely.

“Wait until Sam hears you say that.” You say with a giggle.

“Evie will be the judge of that. Right, sweetie?” He says, looking at his baby girl.

Evie made a cooing noise at the two of you, making you two smile at her cuteness.

“You’re just as cute as our daughter.” You tell him, kissing his stubbly cheek.

“And she has your beauty.” He tells you.

You smile at your husband and kiss him sweetly again.

“I love you so much, doll.” Bucky says in almost a whisper.

“I love you more, Buck.” You say softly.

“We love you as well, baby girl.” You and Bucky say softly in unison and gave her soft kisses.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[eclecticpatrolroadlawyer]

Illicit affairs (chapter 1)

Summary: Bucky and Y/n are in arranged marriage. Bucky is having an affair. This is all it is about... Let's see where Y/n's fate lies... Should we?

Pairings: Bucky x reader, Bucky x Dot ...

Genre: angst, affair, unrequited love

'Love' The word floats between all of us on a soft gust of air. 'Deep, abiding, unconditional love. You want it so much you're willing to live for it' Most people think the greatest sacrifice they can make is to die for something. They are wrong.

The truest act of love someone can make is to live for something- to allow it to consume you and turn you into a version of yourself you never recognize.

It is a tale of 4 souls twisted and helpless in their love lives. It is a narrative that contains some heartbreaks, the bitter taste of unreciprocated affection, and one that dared not to unveil itself- which takes courage to love for so long from a distance.

This is a story where one soul offered everything at love's altar, a vulnerable sacrifice, while another callously exploited that very vulnerability, sowing discord where passion once blossomed...

Y/n's pov

The room feels colder than usual as I stare out the window, my heart sinking with every passing minute. The anticipation is suffocating, and my patience wears thin. "Again," I whisper, the word heavy with disappointment.

I watch the street below, searching for a familiar figure that is yet to appear. The seconds drag on, and my anxiety intensifies. The lump in my throat grows, making it harder to swallow. A sigh escapes me, a mixture of frustration and hurt.

"He is late again."

I can't help but clench my fists on the curtains, the fabric bunching in my grip. The emptiness in the room echoes the ache in my chest. Tears threaten to spill, and I fight to hold them back. I bite my tongue, tasting the metallic tang of frustration as I try to steady my trembling emotions.

I force myself to look away from the window, taking in shaky breaths to regain composure. Each breath feels like a struggle, a battle against the rising tide of disappointment. I look up, my eyes blurred with unshed tears, and will myself to find strength.

Deep breaths. In and out.

I wrestle with my emotions, fighting the urge to crumble. It's a lonely battle, and the weight of unspoken words hangs heavy in the air. The silence is deafening, broken only by the echoes of my own heartbeat.

half an hour later

The sound of the door knob rattling pulls me from my thoughts, and I turn to see him entering, supposedly from his so-called 'jogging' session. His disheveled hair and the hickey marks on his neck don't escape my notice, but I keep my gaze down, focusing on chopping the ingredients for breakfast. The rhythmic slicing helps channel my frustration into the task.

Silence hangs in the air, heavy with unspoken words and the weight of disappointment. I clench my jaw, determined not to let the emotions bubbling within me overflow. Why me, I wonder.

I put on a fake smile, a mask to conceal the turmoil beneath the surface. Breaking the tense quiet, I decide to confront the reality before me, choosing words carefully as I break the uneasy silence.

"How was it?"

The question hangs in the air as I continue chopping, my hands steady despite the storm raging inside me. The tension is heavy as I await his response.

He seems startled, caught off guard by the unexpected interruption to your silence. Nervously, he stammers a response.

"Huh? W-What?"

"Jogging... You went jogging, right?" I press, my eyes focused on the task at hand, but my peripheral vision catches his every move. I put down the knife, turning to face him with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"Oh, jogging... Yes, jogging... Yeah, it was good... good," he replies, the words rushed and accompanied by a forced smile. The tension lingers, hanging in the air like an unspoken truth, and I maintain my fake smile, masking the hurt that hides beneath the surface.

The question hangs in the air, a carefully veiled inquiry concealing the knowledge I already possess. "Bucky," I murmur, the weight of the question palpable in the room. "how many years has it been since our arranged union? One or two?" I lock eyes with him, searching for a flicker of guilt, a hint that he might confess to the secrets he thinks are well hidden.

The room feels heavy with the unspoken truth as I press on, my voice carrying a subtle undercurrent of accusation. "You would never hurt me, right?" I ask, knowing the answer even before the words leave my lips. His eyes betray a hint of unease, a fleeting glimpse of a man caught in his own web of betrayal.

I turn my attention to the task at hand, my fingers gripping the edge of the counter as I continue, "It's just, sometimes I wonder about our arranged marriage. Do you?" My words linger in the air, a calculated challenge, as I maintain a facade of innocence, masking the storm of emotions that swirl within me.

Bucky shifts uncomfortably under the weight of my penetrating gaze, his eyes momentarily faltering before regaining composure. "Uh, yeah, it's been two years," he answers, attempting to sound nonchalant. His attempt at a casual demeanor betrays a hint of unease, a subtle acknowledgment that he senses the underlying tension.

I maintain my facade, the corners of my lips twitching into a semblance of a smile. "And you'd never hurt me, right?" I press further, watching for any subtle changes in his expression. Bucky hesitates, a fleeting moment where the truth seems to hang in the air. "Of course not," he replies, the words lacking the conviction they once held.

As I turn back to my task, the air between us crackles with unspoken truths and concealed betrayals, creating a rift that neither of us dares to bridge.

Bucky's POV

Bucky's response hangs in the air, a weight on his conscience that he can't shake off. As I turn away, the guilt tightens in his stomach. He can't escape the unease, knowing he's betraying not just the arrangement but the person at the center of it.

He sighs, heavy with remorse, as he heads for the bathroom. The sound of running water becomes a feeble attempt to drown out the turmoil in his mind. Bucky leans against the cool tiles, steam clouding the mirror, mirroring the fog in his thoughts.

"What have I done?" he whispers, the weight settling in his stomach. The jog's facade crumbles, revealing the truth of his choices. The affair, the lies—it's a web tightening around him, and he's not sure how to break free without causing irreparable damage.

Under the shower's cold stream, Bucky stands, his hand braced against the tiles. The water pounds against him, a feeble attempt to wash away the guilt. As each droplet falls, he confronts the consequences of his actions. The arranged marriage, once a distant pact, now feels shattered. Bucky closes his eyes, trying to block out the guilt threatening to consume him. In the cascade of water, he faces the mess he's made, uncertain if there's any way to salvage the delicate threads holding their union together.

The cold shower beats against Bucky, a stark contrast to the heat of his thoughts. His hand tightens on the tiles as he battles the storm inside. The water's steady drumming echoes his emotions, a chaotic mix of regret and confusion.

"What am I doing?" he mutters, the words lost in the shower's noise. The images of his mistakes play on a loop in his mind—the marks on the neck, the messed-up sheets. It's a vivid reminder of betrayal.

The truth is undeniable. The affair breaks trust, a breach of the commitment he made, even if reluctantly, in this arranged marriage. As the water rushes over him, Bucky tries to wash away not just the physical traces but the guilt staining his conscience.

The fogged-up mirror reflects a man in conflict. His guilty eyes meet their own gaze, and for a moment, he doesn't recognize himself.

"What have I become?" The question lingers, unanswered, as he stands beneath the unrelenting water. The bathroom isn't a refuge; it amplifies the loneliness. Bucky is stuck in a silent struggle, torn between duty and desire, unsure if he can find a way out without leaving everything shattered behind.

Dot's POV

(girl with whom Bucky is cheating with)

"He is gone again," I murmur to myself, my gaze fixed on the fan dangling from the ceiling. The bed beside me feels emptier than usual, a constant reminder of his absence. The weight of silence settles in the room, and once again, I find myself engulfed in loneliness...

Every day, it's the same struggle. A battle between the promise I make to myself and the undeniable pull he has on me. "Every time... every day. I let him in," I admit in the quiet of my thoughts. The bed, cold and untouched, bears witness to my internal conflict. It's a routine of surrendering to a love that should never have blossomed.

"I can always stop," I tell myself daily, a mantra of resistance that crumbles with each passing moment. The realization hits hard — I'm ruining myself for him. The weight of guilt presses down as I acknowledge the gravity of my actions.

"I am so bad," I confess silently, my heart heavy with self-loathing. I'm entangled in an affair with a married man who has a loving wife. The reality of my choices echoes in the hollow spaces of the room. "I'm so sorry," I whisper to no one but myself, a futile apology to the shadows that witness my moral descent.

"I hate myself... I hate it," the thought echoes, a painful admission of the self-destructive path I tread. Love, tangled with regret, becomes a poison that seeps into every corner of my being. Yet, despite the self-flagellation, the ache for him lingers, a bittersweet melody that refuses to be silenced.

The room, my safe place, now shows the mess inside me. I turn from the fan's spin, lost in the shadows. The secret love has left marks, stains that no apology can wipe away. As I try to understand this mess of feelings, I wonder if I can ever fix the pieces of my self-respect that have shattered.

The words slip out in a hushed murmur, barely audible in the quiet room. "I am sorry." The weight of the apology hangs in the air, a fragile attempt to mend the fractures that linger between us. It's a simple phrase, but it carries the echoes of regret and a longing for forgiveness. The weight of regret settles in, and I can't help but wonder if these simple words will ever be enough to mend the fractures I've created.

The illicit affair has left its mark, a stain that no amount of whispered apologies can erase. As I search through the wreckage of my emotions, I'm left to wonder if the fragments of my self-respect can ever be pieced back together.

Not everyone gets the same version of me.

One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul.

Another person will say I'm a coldhearted bitch.

Believe them both, I act accordingly.

-love

Chapter 2

Note: Hey guys! Hope you like it. English is actually my second language so if there's any mistake you can inform me by messaging me privately. And PLEASE REBLOG AND DON'T STEAL MY WORK. Please like and comment too so, that I can know your views. Thank you for reading guys! Have a nice day and please comment if you wanna be tagged in.

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