#abuse mentioned

[inkling0121]

"We need more angry women instead of soft victims of abuse" yall cant handle Lapis from Steven Universe

[northern-punk-lad]

Honestly the reaction to the amber Johnny trial was so fucked people where treating it like a sports match “I’m team Johnny” “I’m team amber” mate this is an abuse trial what the fuck you doing

It was so fucked

[trickstarbrave]

It's honestly really weird Lily Orchard's defense kind of hinges upon "you can't trust Courtney's account because she's been transphobic towards me and thus her motivation for accusing me is just to pedojacket me as a trans woman" when Lily Orchard frequently misgenders people she doesn't like or agree with. Like explicitly. You can't just all everyone who disagrees with you "it" and dehumanize them and strip them of their identity and then turn around and say anyone who does similar things is motivated by bigotry.

She does it to like, everyone, from cis people to yes, other trans people and other trans women. By this logic Lily's own account should be discredited because she also misgenders people and doesn't really give a shit about it and also wishes death upon them openly and without any remorse even if that person has just like, said her pokemon opinions are shit. She's said truly vile shit about people who are just like "these opinions are bad and you should feel bad".

Courtney shouldn't have misgendered Lily in DMs like a year ago. That wasn't right, Courtney has said it wasn't right and publicly apologized for it, but 1. she just found out Lily was trans and reached out despite the years of abuse because she was afraid about how the rest of their family might react and how they might treat her if she is alone and a minority and 2. just found out her abuser wrote several long, lengthy fanfics that detailed the exact abuse Courtney was put through and glamorized it and excused it. This doesn't excuse it and again, she's publicly apologized for it and has said it was wrong. But Lily has never apologized for it and continues to do it over and over and over again. So by this metric who exactly is the worse person on the transphobia and bigotry front we should discredit entirely?

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters from Watson: The Cardboard Box

Crimes in Context:

Trigger warning for the whole story, since it's pretty much just spousal abuse, and we're going to cover that (briefly) here.

We have previously covered the inability to divorce in Victorian England, where you could practically separate, and be legally divorced under very specific circumstances, but it took an act of parliament to be allowed to remarry, and it was therefore de-facto impossible for many women to leave abusive husbands or to support themselves at the same level after leaving one. Reasons for a divorce to be granted included adultery and extreme cruelty. Yes, extreme cruelty. The bar for proving that to ecclesiastical court and being alive at the same time would be a high and thin one. (Historically: not being able to leave abusive husbands is a factor in MANY historical poisonings. This is not confined to the 1800's or 1900's either - Giulia Tofana, whose wikipedia entry is weirdly short, was famous, posthumously, for providing poisons to women seeking to end their marriages.) Reading between the lines of Jim Benson's tale, we have a more unreliable than usual narrator. Everything he says is through the lens of "she made me do it" which is both a very common pattern of abusers telling their story and prevents his final letter from being the good-faith explanation of events that we often see in other dead, dying, or condemned criminals in this series. The events are also not reconstruct-able by anyone else besides Sarah, and we have no knowledge of whether or not she ever recovers. He never has proof of anything he says regarding Sarah's feelings or what she may have said to Mary, and the only proof he has of Alec and Mary's affair is the custom that a married woman would likely NOT be going on a day trip to New Brighton alone with a male platonic friend.

(Its possible that Mary was not having an affair with Alec or even considering it, but Mary would have been well aware that absolutely nobody would have taken her word that nothing was going on - so I tend to think that either she was having an affair with Alec or she was engineering a plausible reason, i.e. her adultery, to leave her husband. She had two elder sisters with the means to live independently, if she tired of Jim's drinking and jealousy, she had some options.) We especially don't have evidence that Sarah loved Jim - at best, we have an awkward exchange where Jim interpreted a lessening of formality as love (or lust) and Sarah awkwardly backing out of the situation. It's equally ambiguous whether Sarah was attempting to put more distance between the two of them or if she genuinely felt vindictive about unreciprocated feelings. Whether Mary's suspicion had more do do with Jim's violent words and history of drinking than anything Sarah said, or if Sarah took it upon herself to, belatedly, vet her baby sister's husband's character. Hell, she could have been nitpicking their financial arrangements and Jim's career progression. In effect, we don't know anything about this case, and that, more than the gruesome clues and the murder, may have been why it was left out of the story collections for so long.

Why else wasn't it included in collections?

It's not the only story that contains abuse, spousal and otherwise, and it's not the goriest one. When it comes to abuse and very probable murder of a wife, not to mention abuse of his stepdaughters, we have Dr Roylott of the Speckled Band. When it comes to gore, we've had Rucastle getting his throat torn mostly out by a dog in The Copper Beeches, and we're about to have The Engineer's Thumb, which starts with Hatherley missing a thumb. We've also had the prolonged torture via starvation of Kratides in The Greek Interpreter. It is, however, probably the most hopeless story in the entire canon that deals with abuse. Absolutely nobody is saved, and absolutely nobody is given any closure - in fact, Susan Cushing is probably having a much worse time overall now that Holmes has solved the case. Yes, she would eventually know that her baby sister has been murdered by her own husband and it's absolutely broken her middle sister, who she clearly cares about even if she wants to never live with her, ever. But I posit that it's measurably worse if she has any access to Jim Benson's account - because at one point she approved of him as a match for Mary, and his account will make it very clear how wrong she was, and how Sarah, whose concerns or pessimism have probably been dismissed more than once among the sisters, was Mary's only resource.

[hazyerrors]

What do you think Fresh’s childhood (if he had one) was like?

It depends! If ya go based off AlainaPrana Fresh origin comic on DA. I'd assume probably really bad, but I'm not sure how canon that still is because it was never finished, but she did mention the original story concept was by CQ.

So going off what was made! and my own ideas of where it could've gone!

in scenario A, I think his childhood was in a lab mostly, I'd assumed that the human have expectations, Fresh was their experiment in some way, so it wouldn't be that far fetched that they might run harmful tests on him, regardless of them being alive and feeling pain, and perhaps having some acknowledge of existence? the human would probably want more acknowledge about him regardless if they knew Fresh was a parasite at that point.

And Fresh first instinct from feeling pain would probably be fear of death, so In my opinion Fresh you know, would react to those badly and perhaps attack the human in self-defense. So say than the human dies or Fresh takes them as their first host,

Okay but now what? Fresh is new to the world and 'killed' the only other alive thing he knew? They're a strange unique creature, everyone who come across him would be scared, and Fresh would probably immediately get attacked out of fear of the unknown.

And Fresh doesn't have any one to teach them anything, so as CQ mentioned in this post.

Fresh is very naive, probably easily used. which is in my opinion is also implied here-

So It'll make sense that they would start to emulate others behavior to protect himself partly because he learned the hard way to never trust anyone.

But you could go back to the comic with another idea- scenario B, The human did seem really excited about Fresh gaining consciousness, So maybe they acted as a parent figure, and it actually was nice for awhile.

Like maybe they taught him anything they thought would be important for a parasite, (which goes along with him not knowing about sex/love, the human may had thought- why would parasites need to know bout that when they reproduce asexually) but maybe still by instinct from some incident the human died/was used as a host, which brings us back to scenario A ideas.

And you then scenario C, maybe it was a mix of of both the other scenarios.

All three scenarios could also work with why Fresh thinks their better than everyone else, scenario A Fresh only saw the worst in others, and scenario B The human might've acted like they themselves were smarter than others being a scientist and all.

Short answer! I think it was spent in a lab with a human that run experiments on them until the human died/was used as a host, then Fresh had to learned everything in life the hard way from there.

Keep in mind that I probably haven't seen every post about Fresh, so there might be posts by CQ that contradicts everything I just said lmao.

[kitsun3imp0ster]

Psychonauts-Ified the HOBC cast!

For anyone new, House Of Broken Cards is a story I have.... yet to actually draw out. I'll start making the comic soon I promise. (lie)

Here's them if they were in Psychonauts lmaoo-

I've changed their backstories either slightly or majorly to fit in with the Psychonauts universe instead of the HOBC universe lol-

Starting with Mark. He and C.C. never got into the house fire that killed their mom, instead they had a bad encounter with a psychic and that's what killed her. C.C. ended up with a really fucked up arm, and Mark was pretty much unscathed except for some guilt due to not being able to save their mom.

Lukas, instead of meeting them due to The Forces in HOBC, met Mark at their shared office job. Lukas came out to Mark about the emotional and physical abuse he was going through at his home, and Mark managed to scrape up enough money to provide Lukas a safe space in Mark and C.C.'s shared home. Before you ask, I made Lukas look like Loboto for a reason (symbolism purposes lol). In this, he was still adopted by his abusive parents, but now instead of the abuse being because they see Lukas as just a 'devil child', they see him as such due to his psychic abilities.

Elliot and Eliza are probably the least changed. Other than outfits and hair styles, the twins are still the same as before. They found out they were psychic when they found out being able to communicate with your twin using your mind WASN'T in fact normal.

Mark is not psychic, but C.C. is, and his specialty is Pyrokinesis. Lukas is psychic and his specialty is Telekinesis.

Elliot and Eliza are both psychic, both having a specialty in teleportation.

[melaniem54]

Review: Isaac: MM Mafia Romance (Light & Shadow Book 1) by N. N. Britt

Rating: 3.75🌈 Im a fan of the dark mafia romance trope, including a sub group where one of the main characters is an undercover agent and the other is the mafia boss or something similar.  So when I ran across an author I hadn’t read before and this series with a great cover, I had to check it out.  I normally have an issue with stories where the law enforcement officers or their agencies don’t…

[hailmaryfullofgrace55675]

I’m a chubby chaser with a fat/feeding fetish and my attractions, sexual interests, and dating behavior are ethically fine in part because I don’t stereotype fat people on the basis of their being fat. The reason the “trans man pussy. nice.” guy is chiller than the AFAB socialization creep is because the former has an incidental sexual interest that happens to be most frequently fulfillable by members of a particular demographic and does not stereotype members of that demographic as having particular personalities or desires, whereas the latter blatantly stereotypes members of their preferred demographic for dating and indeed those stereotypes are their reason for preferring that demographic.

“Cis men feel unsafe but trans men don’t, so I prefer trans men over cis men” is very obviously the stereotyping thing, much more than it is the sexual interest thing.

Pragmatically, as a trans person, it’s fine to have a strong preference for dating trans people over dating cis people. Perhaps there are specific experiences you feel you need to have in common with a partner that are almost exclusive to trans people. Perhaps you observe that it’s very easy for you to find people who you share a lot with and get along with well in trans communities, and much harder for you to find cis people who like seinen, fanfic, BDSM, math, leftism, and trains - though you should be aware that your perception that lots of trans people like the things you like are probably due substantially to social network effects and confirmation bias rather than to inherent trans affinity for the stuff you’re into.

Stereotyping trans men as different from and more safe than cis men, however, is both condescending to your potential partners in a way many of them will find objectionable and also likely to backfire wildly because trans men are, in fact, capable of partner abuse just like cis men and all humans, and are not inherently safe to be around.

Is it cringe to be into trans men but not cis men? I’m a transfem and I don’t know if this is fetishistic but I’m just always feeling unsafe around cis men in a way trans men never made me feel. I feel guilty about it and don’t know how to explain it outside of that.

nah i think it’s valid. there are gonna be some ppl who will be weird abt it bc they’re obsessed with insisting that trans men are indistinguishable from cis men but that’s just simply not true. we’re different from cis men, so dating us will be a different experience, and that’s okay. it’s okay to want that different experience, especially as a fellow trans person. as long as you just treat them like a human being and don’t make weird comments about their genitals, which i’m sure won’t be a problem, then you’re all good. live ur t4t dreams.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

can we ask about ur family's curse

according to my great grandma it was cast on her grandma by a neighbor with the evil eye - "your daughters will marry their fathers and your sons will become them"

which is really just a fancy way of describing the cycle of abuse and therefore worked very well, generally going into effect before the kid in question turned 21

so my matrilineal family tree winds up a fractured, miserable mess, lots of young marriages and parents falling apart generation after generation, serial toxic marriages with generations of kids scattered across the whole state in foster homes - very nasty stuff

until it gets to me (firstborn in my generation of cousins) and by the time im twenty one i am 1. both daughter and son and neither 2. extremely aspec and queer

which apparently this neighbor did not conceive of when casting her eye and seems to have simply error messaged the curse into oblivion. no one born after me has had this problem. all their romantic relationships are loving (though i would never claim them perfect) and their children adored. fairytale loopholed so hard the damn thing disintegrated. its the funniest magic story i have lmao

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[bioethicists]

it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.

personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.

if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.

now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.

there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.

[trickstarbrave]

.

I feel like other adopted kids and foster kids constantly long for their bio families whenever I see them talking abt their struggles online. And I guess maybe it’s bc I wasn’t directly adopted but became a ward of the state but was basically always raised by my grandparents (who I am not biologically related to, my mom is adopted)

Past a certain age I never really missed my dad. I am completely over it. I used to get sad but I think I mostly wanted a father to feel normal and have all those “father daughter bonding moments” described by other ppl. I have my grandpa who I often call dad bc he’s the only father figure I’ve had, and I think that’s more than enough. I guess I also missed my dad himself but I’ve forgotten most of the memories ZTFXVXGJBJB

My mom talking abt getting in touch w her bio parents and I do not know how to tell her I don’t rly WANT to meet them bc they’re strangers. I have never at once felt like my grandparents weren’t my real family. My uncle is like my older brother, and tbh my grandparents have been more my parents than my mom ever rly was (not entirely her fault she is deeply mentally unwell and had substance abuse problems, but fails to recognize that was why she lost custody of me and was never really a full parental figure). My mom has even said I’m “the kid they actually wanted to adopt” instead of her and yeah that was. Weird to hear. But I guess that cements we simultaneously have a sibling body and mother and child bond with the sibling one being being strong since she views me as the spoiled youngest sibling. I don’t think I’m necessarily spoiled for that reason I think it was more so bc my mom had serious psychological issues that were effecting me and I nearly died multiple times as a baby and continued to be sick the rest of my life. Then again my mom was also disabled as a baby. I don’t know if I can trust her judgement that she was not spoiled considering her parents have bailed her out hundreds of times and made excuses for her to my uncle and I. So

Anyways that was a tangent this family is my real family. I don’t wanna blend with my dad’s and not just bc his mom is crazy and I don’t wanna meet my mom’s bio family but I guess I will if she really wants me to. Doesn’t mean I need to have a relationship w them. But I don’t really have any desire to. Maybe that’s also the autism or mental illness for me idk

I’m really afraid to like, say it around other ppl who grew up not w their bio family bc idk I’m afraid I’ll get accused as ungrateful or trying to trample on their feelings. Or that I am actually a freak and no one else feels like how I do bc my situation is so weird and convoluted or that I don’t “count” and “wouldn’t get it” bc my bio mom WAS still technically around

On a side note oh my GOD I just realized in grade school when they asked me to meet a woman in the office and she asked me a bunch of questions abt my problems at home that was a social worker. I was being interviewed by a social worker. I think I was actually being interviewed bc I missed a lot of school, came to school w random bruises and scrapes, was underweight, and didn’t react much when getting hurt. None of those were from abuse or neglect tho I was just chronically ill so I missed school and had trouble putting on weight, have a weirdly high pain tolerance, and had poor spacial awareness so I often bumped into things or fell down (I think i still do actually). I literally had no clue until now when I remembered that while writing this post VHCGUVFCHVVHVHBJ HELP

[cupcakeslushie]

Recovering your autonomy vs Completely cutting yourself off from your support system. FIGHT!

This happens sometime after the ongoing Kendra reunion comic, but not far enough along that the brothers have figured out how to navigate certain landmines.

Donnie is still re-adjusting to communicating his needs in a confident manner. Sometimes he gets a little too worked up, and lets the panic take over. He regrets the yelling later.

…The next morning

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

[vague-humanoid]