#about the meaning of love

[shmisky]

Philosophical questions: How would you define the feeling of love?

Anon, I... I can’t pretend I’m not utterly baffled by your question shejej What, exactly, prompted this? Was because I said pre-Weirdmaggedon Ford loved Stan but didn’t like him? Or you just want to be randomly philosophical? You’re free to send another ask contextualizing things a bit! 😭 

BUT. Since you asked... My friend said that attempting to answer something anyway would be very in-character of me, and I think she’s right. I WILL take that as an opportunity to yap! ✨ I will also throw a bit of Stancest in here, because that’s why people follow me, anyway.

There are so many definitions for what love is, and so much discussion around that, it would be possible to write a book the size of the Bible. You probably know that, and you’re probably asking for MY definition in particular, so I’m not going to go and explain all the different ways it can be explained or perceived. It is, like you said, a philosophical question, and a pretty old one.

I think Ford would say that love is just a chemical reaction, that our brain interprets romantic love in particular as an addiction. He would probably rant about hormones like oxytocin, the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical” that helps with trust, relationship building, orgasm, bonding between mother and baby. But the truth about Ford is that he’s extremely sentimental deep down despite his rational scientist facade, so he I can see him writing in his journal a very poetic definition such as “love is to put the other’s needs before your own, such as Stanley has been doing for me for so many years, and I was too ungrateful to see.” 😩

I think Stan would initially talk about his love for money or refuse to answer this question altogether, once you explained it’s about love for others. A Pines Man™ doesn’t talk about ✨ feelings ✨ like that. He isn’t a sissy. He told Ford “LOVE YA BRO” in their secred code in TBoB but that was... that was for Ford, obviously, and he said “bro,” so it doesn’t... doesn’t count. (/s) He would tell you to ask this to Mabel (she likes mushy stuff) or Ford (he might get interested in the boring nerdy philosophical aspects of it). But if you insisted enough to be annoying, and he answered honestly? Love is what he feels for his family. That’s what love is ❤️

But what about me? Man, that’s hard to answer. It’s a philosophical question for a reason. I’ll start with saying what I think love is not. Google’s definition says that it’s “an intense feeling of deep affection.” I don’t know if I would use the word “affection.” When I think of love in this higher sense, I think of a deeply rooted, intense attachment to someone else, being it romantic, platonic, or familial, that is always sort of there, even if dormant, as a bond. I think of a subconscious act of will, of always wanting the best for someone, the highest good. My friend pointed out, and I agree, that involves never wanting them to suffer for the sake of suffering. You can wish suffering for the sake of a greater good, of course; like taking your loved one to the doctor, that might make them suffer, but only to avoid further suffering. Even their death might avoid further suffering, in a way. A lot of self-deception can be involved here, too. An abusive parent can love their child and think their abuse, that causes their child to suffer, is for the child’s own good; or they can attempt to convince themselves it’s not true suffering, but exaggeration and drama. 

So I think genuine love and abuse can indeed coexist, and often do! On the other hand, genuine love and genuine hatred can’t, because hatred by its own intrinsic nature discards one of love’s most important characteristics. I’ve seen many people say that hatred isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is. I disagree. To me, both indifference and hatred are the opposite of true love. You can’t truly, genuinely love a person while delighting in their suffering and/or wishing their suffering just for the sake of revenge or your resentment for them, instead of their highest good. If you do, in my opinion, that’s not love, it’s obsession, fixation, or attraction. A general feeling of possessiveness or ownership, which I believe Bill felt, and still feels, for Ford. And vice versa, to me, if you think you “hate” someone but would, say, die for their sake (like the Stans would for each other, at any point of their lives), that isn’t truly hatred. That’s just dislike, resentment, bitterness. I understand other people might have looser definitions, but I see both love and hatred as very powerful emotions.

(That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy certain literary expressions. One memorable line from a fanfic I read is, “you’re the person I love and hate the most!” Frankly, I just thought it sounded very good and poetic! The drama!)

So. Back to the Stans. I said Ford loved Stan but didn’t like him, pre-Weirdmaggedon. That’s because, just as Alex said, he viewed his brother as a bumbling leech! (Ouch!) He confesses in his journal that he spent a lot of time thinking Stan was a, quote unquote, “selfish jerk.” But he would also doom the entire universe for Stan (and the kids), and I believe that if Bill asked Ford to choose who would be horribly tortured, Ford or Stan, Ford would choose himself a thousand times over, and not just because of a hero complex. He would choose himself even if there wasn’t anyone watching. I once saw someone say, on a Tumblr post, that her dad said to her that he loved her because she was his child, so that kind of love was inevitable, but he also liked her, as person, and would like her as person even if she wasn’t his child and he didn’t automatically love her because of that. Such a good way to illustrate this difference!

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[cronchy-baguette]

double posting this comic bc tbh it deserves its own post.... thinking about how elphie was definitely crying after she runs off to hide somewhere following popular... what do the two of them think about afterwards....

[noperopesaredope]

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

[andstuffsketches]

girl who lives in a cave

[sunnythedawg]

[vaggieslefteye]

VEROSIKA MAYDAY, Succubus Pop Star | 2x09 - Apology Tour

"Blitz, there is a crowd full of people here who cared so much they throw an entire fucking party about hating you every year! Do you know how much you have to care to do something as stupid as that?"

[demadogs]

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

[hansoeii]

when 2022 me thought it would be fun to draw stede with a beard and a silly little curled up mustache and start calling him steard for the fun of it

AND NOW IT'S REAL

THEY DID IT

MY CREATION.

IT IS REAL. HOLY FUCK

[vampcaprisun]

caterina: i have made the Perfect Assassin

rook: you fucked up a perfectly good househusband is what you did. look at him. he’s got anxiety

[froglover7789]

finally watching house md in order instead of whatever random episodes my friends force me to watch and. wow. the mouse bites meme is. so accurate? why is wilson just Always There. "I too am in this episode!" YES DIVA WE KNOW WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING UP DONT YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO????

[kissingagrumpygiant]

They didn't let Solas interact with Kieran in dai bc he'd smell the June on him and have a melt down thinking about their own parallels and also Kieran would doxx him on fantasy roblox by accident

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[kkopimint]

when you're crying about the cancellation but remember how good YOI was to you