#i mean if i worked in the damn hospital i would also probably use house as entertainment i cant lie

[froglover7789]

finally watching house md in order instead of whatever random episodes my friends force me to watch and. wow. the mouse bites meme is. so accurate? why is wilson just Always There. "I too am in this episode!" YES DIVA WE KNOW WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING UP DONT YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO????

[hungryforpowernotfood]

Making A Deal (Part 1)

Summary: House doesn't take the news of you wanting to quit your job at the hospital well, and he definitely doesn't take it well when you decide not to tell him why you're leaving.

You don't think it's any of his business, he thinks it is—the argument leads to you making a deal.

Warning(s): use of y/n & l/n (your name & last name), closeted reader, reader presenting as female throughout the fic & being referred to as a woman, House being House & making some comments that may come off as transphobic

Pairing(s): Greg House x ftm! Reader

Something felt off when you were growing up—you don’t remember exactly when you became aware of it. Over time, the feeling grew and grew, but you ignored it, and pushed it away.

Instead of the feeling, you focused all your time and energy on other things—grades, homework, friends, and your future.

It grew and grew, almost as if it were inside you. You went to school, and sometimes it got increasingly difficult to get up and put on a fake smile, but it all felt worth it because you were going to help people. And sometimes you grimaced when professors referred to you as “miss l/n”, but it all felt worth it because eventually, they would have to refer to you as “doctor”. And it felt jarring and uncomfortable to wear the blouses, and the heels, and the skirts, but you knew that one day you would be wearing a white coat and scrubs, and you wouldn’t be required to dress like that every day.

You mistook the feeling for a lot of things—being misunderstood, lonely, ambitious, depressed. Perhaps those came with the feeling, but you thought at one point it would stop. You thought that at one point: it’s got to stop.

And even when you realized what it truly was—your discomfort with living and presenting as female—you were damn good at hiding it, and you were a damn good doctor.

You were always able to spot what was wrong with a patient, but more importantly, you could tell when they were lying, or not telling you everything about a situation. You knew how to approach patients to make them more comfortable about sharing information with you—or at least you did most of the time.

This is what allowed you to succeed when you started working with House—you went from being bossed around because he thought you couldn’t do anything, to being bossed around because he thought you could get the patient to open up to you more than him.

You knew you would miss it, but you also knew you had to make a better life for yourself—which is why you decided to quit.

Today marked the start of your last week—you had exactly 7 more days to go. That didn’t mean you didn’t have any paperwork, though, and that’s exactly what you were working on when you heard what sounded like someone was hitting your office door with a stick.

Without waiting for a reply, House walked in, explaining why it sounded like something was hitting the door. He was probably lucky it was wood.

“Why is Cuddy under the impression that you are leaving?”

“Probably because I am.” You said, looking back at your work.

“And you weren’t planning on telling me?”

“Why would I?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because we work together, so you should tell me things.”

You glanced up at him, your brow raised.

“Why are you leaving?”

“Did Cuddy not tell you?”

“She told me you had ‘other life opportunities’.”

“You say that like you don’t believe it.”

He snorted. “Yeah, that’s because it’s a lie and not a very good one either.”

You tilted your head. “You think it’s a lie?”

“Please, I know it’s a lie. You wouldn’t just quit for some impromptu opportunity, something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“So you’re leaving me to deal with Foreman, Chase, and Wilson alone over nothing?”

“Sure.” You said, looking back at your laptop.

House walked over to you and slammed your computer shut.

“What are you doing?” You shouted.

He picked up the laptop and hobbled to the other side of the room where he set it down.

“Give it back.” You ordered, getting up, and walking after him. He turned around quickly and blocked you with his cane.

“You’re not quitting.” He said.

“Why do you care?”

“Who said I care? I’m just trying to keep one good doctor in the ring.”

“Well, clearly you talked to Cuddy, so you know the notice is already in, and this is my last week.”

“Redact it.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m going to find out anyway.”

Your heart pounded at the idea of him ever finding out, but you simply shook your head.

“You think I won’t?”

You thought about it, before answering “Not any time soon.”

“That sounded like a challenge.”

“It wasn’t.” You stated.

“Let’s make a deal.”

You raised your brow. “A deal.”

“Yes, a deal. If I find out why you’re leaving before the end of the week, you have to stay. If I don’t, then you can leave.”

You thought about it for a moment. “If you can’t figure it out, you don’t get to bother me about it again.”

He paused for a moment. “If I can, you have to do what I say for a day.”

You held back a scoff—it felt like you did that anyway—if he did figure it out, it wouldn’t be any different from the previous times. “Deal.” You said, holding out your hand for him to shake.

He briefly took your hand, and said “deal,” before leaving the room.

As the week went on, House had several theories written on the whiteboard and didn't take any cases—meaning you ended up doing them for him and took Wilson, Foreman, and Chase with you. Sometimes one of them would go in, and report that he was snappy (as usual) and that he insisted you were hiding something.

By your last day, House hadn’t come to you with any accusations, so you weren’t surprised when you heard a similar thwack against wood before your door was opened.

“I figured it out,” House said gruffly, closing the door behind him.

“Did you?”

“You’re trans.”

Your heart raced. “What?”

“Your chest is flat. I thought I was just seeing things, but then I saw a picture of you from last year. Your chest is flat now, you didn’t think anyone would care or notice, because you put in your two weeks' notice, and you thought ‘What the hell, I’m leaving in a few days, no point in wearing a stuffed bra to work every day’.

“Your closet contains mostly feminine clothing—overly feminine, in fact—I’m guessing because your parents never let you wear girly clothes as a child. I noticed your bathroom doesn’t have any hygienic products because you don’t need them, and you don’t use the washrooms here because you’re afraid of someone figuring out you were born a man.”

You looked at him, shocked. You could feel his air of pride, but you could also feel your heartbeat starting to slow.

He thinks you’re a transwoman…not a transman…

“No.”

“What?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“I’m not wrong, drop the gig, l/n.”

“I didn’t have menstrual products because I ran out and hadn’t got any left. We barely get breaks long enough to use the washroom. You’ve never seen me in anything except for my work clothes and a dress a few times, so how do you know how I usually dress? As for my chest…”

He looked at you expectantly, despite you shooting daggers.

“No one asked you to look.”

“I’m just being observant.”

You rolled your eyes. You had only recently started binding—and while it felt so much better, you assumed no one noticed. He started reaching for your chest, but you swatted his hand away.

“You only did that because you knew it would prove my point.” He growled.

“You’re wrong, House. I was born female.”

“Well it isn’t a chronic or terminal illness, not mental illness, your family doesn’t require your immediate attention, you have no friends or boyfriends trying to get you to move away with them, you don’t have any stalkers, and no one here has been harassing you.”

“You’re harassing me right now.”

“But you’re not leaving because of me.”

“Right.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What are you hiding?”

You looked up at the clock, it was nearing the end of your shift, anyway, and you were already done with everything.

“You’re not completely wrong.”

“What does that mean? Either I’m wrong or I’m right, and I’ll give you a hint—I am rarely wrong.”

You picked up the box. “Fine. You’re right, I was born a woman, and I hate it.” You said, quickly walking out.

Whatever comment he had for you, you didn’t want to hear it—people like him were exactly why you were leaving. Nevertheless, you heard his footsteps, and cane tapping after you. From the sound of it, you could tell he was struggling to keep up with you in a way that did not elicit pain.

Previously heading towards the elevator, you changed your route towards the stairs, and quickly made your way down. You practically flew down the last flight of stairs, causing you to nearly run into House who was standing in the doorway right at the bottom.

You sighed. “What do you want?”

“You didn’t honestly think it would be that easy, did you?” He asked, limping towards you. You backed up—back onto the stairs. House leaned up against one of the rails with a grunt, taking pressure off his leg.

You rolled your eyes and started walking back out, but he held out his cane to keep you from leaving.

“Why don’t you just let me go?”

“Because that doesn’t sound like a very good reason to leave.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Being transgender. Besides, I was right—so you aren’t allowed to leave.”

“You weren’t right, you thought I was a transwoman.”

He made a face. “I’m sorry, what’s the difference again.” You could tell he wasn’t being genuine, or probably wasn’t, but you answered anyway.

“Hmm. But I did say you were trans, right.”

“Right, but—”

“And you are, yes? Or did I misunderstand?”

“I am, but—”

“Then I was right. Now you have to go back upstairs, put your dinky decorations back on your desk, and be here early tomorrow morning with my coffee.” He said, directing his cane so that you would be forced to back up even more.

Thinking fast, you decided to come up with another compromise.

“No.”

“No? Did we not make a deal?”

“We did, but you were only partially right, therefore you were partially wrong, so we should split the deal.”

“Split the deal?” He scoffed like it was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard.

“Yes, split the deal. I'm leaving, but I’ll do whatever you say for a night.”

“Any night?”

“Saturday.”

He feigned surprise, “are you asking me on a date?”

“I—” you paused when you realized what he had done.

“I am flattered. I don’t usually date men, but if you insist, I will—it’s not like I’m doing anything better on Saturday night anyway. I’ll pick you up at 8.” He said, walking away.

[sunshineandspencer]

Playing nurse (End)

Let me stress, this is not Maeve from the show, but my own Maeve just named the same to send Spencer into hell whenever he thinks about it.

A/N: I have a chronic fear of things ending. I've had this written for like two weeks but I hate the idea of it being over. Sorry, and thank you for everyone who enjoyed my first story on tumblr <33

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!OC.

Summary: He takes care of her until she’s finally cleared by the Doctor and he can make good on his promise

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: kissing (ew), slightly suggestive at the end but nothing described

Parts: Pt1, Pt2, Pt3, Pt4, Pt5, Pt6, Pt7, Pt8, Pt9, Pt10

be added to the taglist!!

While he had been overbearingly sweet and protective while she recovered, and was let out of the hospital, her pretty new boyfriend still hasn’t kissed her.

Not for a lack of trying either.

Every chance she got, she would try and subtly drag him closer, but he always caught on. Giving her a chiding look and turning them back to whatever they had been doing. She’d wear her prettiest lip gloss and do stupid things to try and convince him. 

But his mind was set, until she got cleared by the doctor, no smooching.

Besides, despite his gleaming teasing, she wasn’t desperate. After waiting months and assuming he hated her, she can last a few more weeks. For the stitches to heal and the pain to finally stop without meds.

Spencer, true to his word, didn’t leave her side. Helping her get back and settle into her apartment, at which he lamented no longer living in ‘their’ house.

That, at least, got him to suck in a painful breath and press a kiss to her hair.

God did he miss that too.

Sure, he’d stayed in the guest room and given her free reign of that master bedroom, but that had been enough - he hadn’t needed to sleep in the same bedroom as her to feel close. The whole thing had only three days together but it felt like a lifetime.

Eating every meal together, doing stupid tasks like cleaning and shopping, watching crap reality television and getting strangely into it. He missed being able to casually touch her as his ‘wife’, but girlfriend is an excellent place for them to start again together after everything they’d gone through.

The fear of losing her had been debilitating, and looking after her now, staying in her spare room, was what he needed.

To see her every day and be reminded that she’s completely fine.

His damn woman wasn’t making it easy in trying to stop her from pulling her stitches or injuring herself further. Those first couple of days, with her constantly trying to sneak a kiss in, she was being impossible. But he won’t - he can’t - not until she’s cleared.

Thankfully his incentive worked and after a while - well, after she had a breakdown in the kitchen and he’d had to hold her and make sure he knows that he wants to but he’s worried about her recovery - and was finally patient.

Thanks to her newfound patience, they fell into a routine; he would wake up in her spare room and go to wake her up with painkillers and new bandages, check on her stitches, and then spend the day together. The two of them are definitely in the honeymoon phase - as Garcia gleefully tells her in every facetime.

Yes, they love each other, but they’re also so used to having their own space, which they’ll probably love after all this is over. Needing some alone time doesn’t mean they don’t still completely love each other - but they’d lived as individuals so long it would take some time to adjust.

The honeymoon phase was saving their ass - and their relationship. Everyday spent together is bliss.

Learning, properly, about each other. She talked about her family, normal in some remote town, and his decidedly less normal childhood. He finally told her about Maeve and why he had been so harsh, which she understood but still called him daft. Honestly they talked about anything and everything. Until Spencer was fairly certain he’d be able to identify her blind, just from the breath she takes before she speaks.

Thanks to his diligence, and her eventual co-operation, it was only two weeks until she could finally get the bandage and stitches removed. With no incidents since she left the hospital.

Once she’s cleared for duty, and the Doctor begins to send the paperwork through to prove it to Emily, they leave.

Their hands laced together and swinging between them, Maeve chatting excitedly about going back to work. All the way from the office, in the elevator and through the main entrance to the parking lot.

“Oh I can’t wait to see Penelope. Facetiming just isn’t the same.. I want a hug. Plus I miss the smell of stale coffee and the patriarchy.” Giving him a grin as they get closer to her mini, the keys swinging in his other hand. “Is it weird that I miss the serial killers?”

“You don’t miss serial killers, angel. We’ve talked about this.”

But he was smiling all the same, causing her to laugh and lean into his side.

Once again, he’s impressed with his ability to hold any kind of conversation with her when his brain is melting under the constant ‘God please I just want to kiss her’. Just like he’d been struggling against for the past two weeks while taking care of her.

Somehow, Maeve had seemingly forgotten their promise as she was still talking, and he’s not a strong man when it comes to her.

“--I might see if I can babysit for JJ and Will, their kids are adorable. Or maybe finally have that girl’s night, we were meaning to go for one before all this and I miss drinking. Or--”

They got to the car and he turned to hold her against the passenger door, giving her a teasing smile. Smoothing the hair from her face and moving his hands down to her upper arms to hold her still.

“Or, you could spend time with your boyfriend?”

Laughing, she rested her hands softly over his forearms, that teasing look not dropping from her face, and subsequently making his brain melt even further.

He’s not sure how he lasted two weeks like this.

“My boyfriend who I spent every day of the last two weeks with?”

“Well-”

“Spence, if you.. monopolise any more of my time, Penelope might just--”

Incredulous, a laugh left him and he cut her off. Leaning down to kiss her as desperately as he’d wanted for the past two weeks. One hand sliding up to her hair, gripping gently to tilt her head back until it hits the roof of the mini, slanting his lips a little harder against hers.

Right here, he knew he’d never get enough of her ever again. Her taste, her lips, the feel of her, her reactions. 

God, her reactions.

At first she’d tensed, not quite believing he was finally kissing her. Once it sunk it, she relaxed against him, easing her grip where she’d started to leave marks and letting her eyes fall shut. 

Then, once he’d tilted her head back and pushed her a little more insistently against the car, she had actually whimpered against his lips, and he was desperate to chase that little noise as far as she would let him. Her hands moved from his arms to fist in the front of his shirt and dragged him closer.

Until they were all but making out in the hospital parking lot.

When he finally pulled back - dreading his need for air - he kept close. Their foreheads are near but not quite touching, still wanting to be able to look down at her properly. Giving them both a moment to breathe as two weeks, probably longer, washed over them.

Opening his eyes to just look down at her, loving the flushed cheeks and laboured breaths. Loving her.

“Angel.” She hums. “Do you want to know why I wouldn’t kiss you while you were recovering?”

It took her a little while to respond, cracking her eyes open to finally meet his again. Sure that he legs would’ve given out if it wasn’t for him holding her up against the car. Not quite trusting her voice yet, she shook her head, the hand not in her hair wrapping around her waist.

And Jesus, but he finds her so pretty like this, glossy eyed and smiling.

“Because you are perfect sweetheart, and if I’d kissed you, I wouldn’t be able to stop at just one.. or two.. or three.” Punctuating each number with a peck to her lips, which just made her pretty and pliant under his palm. “And I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Swallowing thickly, she let go of the front of his shirt from the death-grip she’d gotten on it, smoothing down the wrinkles she’d made as she cleared her throat from where her heart had blocked it.

Looking back up to meet his gaze as she continued to smooth away the wrinkles she’d left.

“I’m uh.. I’m alright now.”

“Yes, you are.”

With a smug grin, which looks far too good on his face, she leant in to brush their noses together. A tender action that’s completely at odds with the heat in his gaze.

That hand around her waist slipped to her lower back, pulling her fully against him and revelling in the way a soft squeak left her lips, and her eyes darted down to his own as if expecting him to kiss her. Quickly darting back up, indignant, when he started to talk instead.

“So, angel, would you like to call Penelope for a girl’s night? Or would you like to go home with your boyfriend?”

Making a face, and trying to ignore the blush high on her cheeks, she tugged him back down for another quick kiss, which he happily gave her. Trying to act very nonchalant, despite her own obvious excitement.

“Let’s go home, please.”

Finally letting go of her, he reached around to pull on the door handle. Opening up the passenger door for her and ushering her inside.

Leaning his forearm on the roof to lean in and give her another kiss.

“Alright sweetheart, home it is. What should we do? Watch a movie?”

She scowled at him, a sight he loved so damn much now it aches. Which is why it brings him so much glee to shut the door in her scowling face and walk around to the driver’s side, slow as he likes.

Impressed that he’s been able to resist the urge to sprint round and get in the car like he absolutely wants to do. His need to tease her is the only thing stronger than his need to kiss her.

Once he finally got in, she prodded his side, still glaring at him as he belted up.

“If you don’t kiss me some more when we get home, I will be going out with Penelope.”

“Don’t worry angel, I plan to thoroughly make up for the last two weeks.”

That got her to shut up, scowl falling away into something far more bashful, a pretty smile settling onto her face as she got comfortable for the drive back to her apartment.

With a happy sigh, he reached to turn the radio on, and then let his hand fall to her thigh, squeezing gently to get her attention - as if she was able to think of anything besides him when his entire presence fills the car and her head and her chest.

Rubbing firm circles to the top of her thigh as that smug grin climbed back onto his face.

“You won’t need to call Penelope, or anyone else, just yet. I told them that your appointment isn’t until tomorrow, so I have you all to myself for the next twenty-four hours.”

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[frozenjokes]

I Need [You] [To Be] A Hero! (1/2)

note: this is a pretty direct sequel to this fic, but can probably also be read on its own. wouldn’t recommend it though. ALSO. there is a misunderstanding involving domestic abuse in this fic, when in reality nothing has actually happened. still, if that makes you uncomfortable I would definitely skip.

next

It was safe to say Scar was freaking out a little. Grian, Cub’s roommate who he had never met before, not even as HotGuy, was in his house experiencing some sort of mental health crisis- what the fuck was happening?

His first impulse was to call Cub- of course that was what he wanted to do, but Cub had made it quite clear he was not happy with HotGuy right now, and Grian had been adamant that he couldn’t go home- that there was no one Scar could call who could help.

But when Grian woke up the next day, not leaving his room until the early afternoon, Scar didn't want to tell Cub anything at all. Grian’s face was all sorts of fucked, bruised to all hell, and Scar didn’t remember seeing bruises last night, but it was dark and he had been tipsy- Though, Grian had been wearing quite a heavy amount of makeup, which he seemed to have washed off now.. Oh god. Grian didn’t want to talk about what had happened, and Scar didn’t want to push, but he was suddenly quite worried about what was hidden under the sleeves of his sweater. Grian hadn’t wanted to be touched last night either- fuck.

Scar didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. Though, he got his answer pretty quick when HotGuy’s phone buzzed in his back pocket, his heart sinking at a text from Cub.

‘Have you seen CuteGuy at all? Last night? Important.’

What did he want to know about CuteGuy? Suspicion curled in his gut, but maybe that was just anger, or hurt, or any number of emotions turning his stomach. He hadn’t, obviously. He hadn’t been working last night.

‘No, but I need to talk to you. Meet me for lunch, same place, or anywhere that’s easiest for you. 2:00.’

‘I’ll be there. Is something wrong?’

Scar could only frown at the message, staring for too long before leaving it unanswered, dropping his phone back in his pocket.

“Hey, Grian, I have to meet someone for work. I’m going to lunch, and I can bring you something back if you want. Could be a while, but I grabbed a few things from the grocery store, so you can make yourself something if you don’t want to wait. Doesn’t matter either way, just text me. Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen.”

“Okay,” Grian mumbled, looking just as miserable as he sounded. He never looked up from his phone, scrolling aimlessly with lidded eyes. The sight broke Scar’s damn heart.

“Try and eat something, alright?”

“Okay.” Just about as noncommittal as it gets. Well. He would make sure Grian got dinner at least.

Scar wasn’t used to being unable to change in this house, but it wasn’t too big of a deal. He stopped by his hospital instead, the one that would glue him back together whenever needed, and changed there, leaving behind the bits of his disguise to pick up later. It wasn’t much, just the wig and the clothes he was wearing, but it still took a bit of time to fix his hair, adjust his makeup- just getting into his uniform could be a chore sometimes, especially when his prosthetics were deciding to be difficult- he was going to have to get those repaired again soon. A problem for another day.

By the time everything was said and done, he was a bit late, though he didn’t feel very bad. Cub deserved to squirm a bit as far as Scar was concerned, but he did try and hurry it up regardless.

And squirming he was.

Cub was a complete nervous wreck when Scar managed to arrive and sit down, which was reasonable, all things considered, but Scar was glad for it. He should be nervous.

“Uh, hi,” Cub spoke before Scar could, “I had a question, actually, I mean, I know you’re a superhero and that’s your thing, but are you- do you arrest people? Is that a thing you do? I couldn’t really find any answers online, I wasn’t sure.” Cub fidgeted with his hands when Scar frowned, almost aggressively avoiding eye contact.

“Why? Have you committed any crimes?” Scar couldn’t help himself from shooting back, the anger crawling beneath his skin getting the better of him.

“Uh,” Cub paused for what had to be an abnormal amount of time, “No. Just curious.”

“Just curious? Well no, most of the time, not really. My job isn’t to take people into custody, just to stop them from hurting other people or damaging anyone’s property. Our police force is a bit pathetic though, if you haven’t noticed, so most of the time our villains don’t really stay in jail.”

“You’re upset with me.” Cub said the words like facts, which they were, and stared. Scar stared right back.

“I think ‘upset’ is the wrong word here.”

“If this is about that fight with you and CuteGuy, I don’t think you have any right to be unhappy with me. That was stupid, you were both being stupid, and someone could have gotten hurt. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out or anything, but things have been bad at home, and I didn’t have the time or energy to talk, so some patience would be appreciated.”

“For goodness’ sake, I’m not mad about the fight.”

“Then why- I don’t care. I don’t have time for this. I- I need help. Someone I know did- has been doing some really bad things, and I want to help him, but I just don’t know how, and he ran off and he’s not answering his calls and-“

“Someone you know, huh?”

“Yes- What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so shitty?”

“I want to know what you did to Grian.”

“Wh-“ Cub stopped short, freezing completely, “What I- Scar, have you seen him? Is he okay? Is he safe? Do you know where he is? I don’t- What do you think I did?”

“I don’t think he feels safe at home, Cub. He’s got all sorts of bruises where people don’t just get bruises.”

Silence. Scar’s frown deepened, while all Cub could seem to do was gape.

“Oh fuck, Scar, I did not- Scar, this is a huge misunderstanding, I have not hurt Grian, I need you to believe me- I need your help.”

“I don’t believe you, actually.”

“Scar, Grian is CuteGuy.” For the first time, Scar saw the fear behind Cub’s eyes, the desperation in his voice; for the first time, Scar stopped completely short. When Cub was sure he was listening, he continued, “I found out when he met me in that parking lot. I didn’t recognize him immediately with the outfit and the covers over his wings and- I think he paints his flight feathers? But I figured it out pretty damn fast, and he’s- Grian has always had issues, Scar, like, major issues, but he’s- he’s not- he just doesn’t have good outlets, I don’t really think he actually wants to hurt people!”

Oh.

“I..” Scar dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his forehead, “I hit him. I did that.”

“You did do that! You almost shot him-!” Cub stopped, taking a breath, then laying his hands over his temples for a moment before letting them hit the table, “I don’t care. It was stupid, but I don’t care. I just want him to be okay. Is he safe? Where did he end up? I didn’t see anything on the news, but him not being CuteGuy doesn’t- he can have these really intense reactions to bad stuff happening, even little stuff sometimes, it’s- I promise you he’s trying, I know he’s trying.” There was so much pain there, so much, and Scar had to wonder if Cub knew the extent of what Grian had done, or if he even cared at all. Even Scar wasn’t sure, now that he really thought about it. He.. would have to check later.

“He’s safe. He’s at my, uh, a friend’s house. Found him at a bar, being.. I think intense is the right word. He said he couldn’t go home, and needed a place to stay.”

“Oh god. Was he drinking?”

“I don’t.. think so. Friend was pretty concerned, but Grian insisted he was sober. Took him home before that changed.”

“Oh, good. Good,” Cub sighed, head falling back into his hands, and Scar swore he felt Cub’s relief in his soul. “Could I.. get this friend’s number? I don’t know if I should try and see Grian yet, I really don’t want him to run again, but I just want to make sure everything is okay. I don’t- I have no idea what to do here, I really don’t, I’m just.. really grateful.” Cub paused, then sat up suddenly, “You won’t arrest him, will you? Please don’t. He’s already had to serve some time for repeated offenses, and he’s so much worse when he gets out, it won’t work, it won’t help him-“

“I’m not going to arrest him, Cub. And yeah, let me text you his number.” Scar grabbed HotGuy’s phone to do just that, fumbling a bit as he erased the name off the contact.

“Thank you,” Cub heaved a massive sigh, deflating, “It’s hard enough to get him working again as it is. Customer service isn’t an option- you think I’m bad, woof. It’s not an option.”

“I don’t think you’re bad!”

Cub snorted. “That’s sweet.”

“I don’t!”

“You were barely through the door before I said something rude, then had a complete autism panic attack in the back room. That was particularly bad.”

“Okay, but the thing you said about my legs was hilarious- oh is that what that was?”

Cub paused for a moment, then shook his head, teeth poking out behind his smile, and Scar felt himself fall back in love all over again, “Yeah man, I get it rough sometimes. Thought you knew, honestly.”

“People react in so many different ways to seeing me, getting helped by me, or thinking they’ve embarrassed themselves in front of me that I’ve literally seen it all. I’ve just stopped asking questions.”

“Hey, cheers to that, man.” Cub checked his phone when it buzzed, though had a small moment of confusion that Scar had already anticipated before he shared the contact. “What’s your friend’s name again?”

“Not my place to share, I’m afraid. He’s a tricky guy, really paranoid about the fae and names, so you’ll have to ask him what he wants you to call him. I’ll give him a heads up that you're contacting him, so it’ll be fine. If it’s easier, Grian calls him Micah. For ease of access, he might let you call him the same name, but he’s been known to be.. difficult. Very nice though, just a little odd about some things. You should see his house, it’s all decked out in iron trims and’s got these funky chains everywhere? His front and backyard is all pavement, it’s nuts. I mean, I guess you will see it eventually, won’t you? Maybe.” Scar found himself rambling, suddenly very afraid of being found out. Grian did a pretty shit job at hiding his identity- the voice thing in particular, why did he do that? And if they’ve been friends for years, why did Grian even go near Cub in the first place? REGARDLESS. Clearly Cub had a pretty good intuition, so Scar would greatly prefer if he and Not HotGuy also known as Scar also known as Micah never met.

“Oh. Cool.” Cub looked kind of amused for some reason, but Scar didn’t get the chance to try and puzzle the expression out before he spoke again, “Hey, that’s a different mask, right? Any reason?”

“Oh! Yeah! This is the one I wear when I break my nose, since it doesn’t really cover it like the other one does. Well, CuteGuy broke it actually, but you understand. It’s.. a relatively common occurrence for me.”

“Ah, you know, I thought your nose looked a little crooked, but it’s always been kind of crooked, so I wasn’t quite sure. But that makes sense to me. ‘S cute.”

Scar’s brain stopped working. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking.” Cub smiled, and Scar felt his face heating up, and Cub laughed, fuck, what a delightful sound, “You silly thing,” Cub sighed, and Scar had no idea what that meant, but he wanted to know, he wanted to know so bad, he leaned over the table, waiting for Cub to say more, to say more right now, but Cub’s eyes were closed, sitting back in his chair contentedly.

Cub did not say more, and neither could Scar when their waitress arrived at the table, the same lady from before, looking positively frightened for some reason.

“Are.. you two ready to order?”

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 24

All right, this is it, the 17th Angel. Let's see what gonzo powers this one has...

Not quite what I was expecting, but I am impressed.

Uh... So Asuka's completely incapable of piloting her Eva, so I guess she ran away for like a week and she's been living in the bathtub of a wrecked house. The episode opens with a vision of Li'l Asuka running home to tell her mother about how she got accepted into the Eva program or something, and then she finds her mother hanging from a noose. Her dad had died sometime prior to this, I guess.

Later, we see her lying catatonic in a hospital bed, and that's baiscally it for Asuka this episode. Her arc was getting bleak but this is just awful. Let's move on.

Meanwhile, Gendo Ikari questions Ritsuko and asks why she destroyed the Dummy Plug system last time. Ritsuko talks about how her cat recently died, and she hadn't seen it in years, because of her work at NERV. Then she says she's not happy anymore, even when Gendo makes love to her. Oh wow. Well that settles that, then.

Do you think Gendo holds his hands over his mouth while he's doing the deed? Just props his elbows on the head of the bed and stares into the wall pensively while he thrusts his hips? Maybe I should find something else to talk about. Sorry.

Gendo says she's disappointed him, and she says he can't be disappointed, because he never had any expectations of her at all. She's nothing to him and she always was. This does put into perspective all the times Gendo has expressed disappointment in Shinji. Like, it's just a thing he says. Ultimately, it's meaningless.

What about Shinji? Well, he could really use someone to talk to after the startling revelation about Rei. The trouble is that there isn't anyone left. Asuka's... yeah. Misato's off doing her own thing. Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney left town. I didn't realize it at the time, but Tokyo-3 got wrecked in the recent Angel battles. Probably the 13th Angel, mainly.

There is Rei, but Shinji has no idea how to even act around Rei. I mean, it was never easy interacting with Rei, but now it's not even the same Rei? Or something? He can't talk to her is the point.

Then he meets this kid singing to himself amongst the wreckage. He introduces himself as Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child and newest Eva Pilot. He's been recruited to replace Asuka, although it isn't clear if she's been kicked off the team just yet.

Everyone's kind of suspicious of the new kid, probably because he's so damn chipper and he isn't dealing with the trauma of dead parents or whatever. Also they have him do sync tests and his scores are excellent even before they reconfigured Unit 02 for him. He's a little too good to be true, and everyone in NERV seems to know it.

After the tests, the boys take a shower together, and when Shinji says he prefers to stay at the base late because he doesn't like spending time at home anymore, Kaworu invites him to sleep over at his place.

He also flirts a little with Shinji, and Shinji blushes. Today I was looking up what people were so angry about when Neon Genesis Evangelion was added to Netflix, and one of the gripes was that they edited out a scene featuring "a key piece of gay subtext". I wondered what that was, and yeah. I may not be the sharpest knife in the crayon box, but this looks pretty gay to me.

I will admit, this isn't something I usually think about when I watch or read stories, but in Shinji's case it probably never would have occurred to me, because of all the emotional baggage we've seen in the first 23 episodes. But now that we're here, it kind of makes sense. This kid's got so much trouble expressing his emotions and figuring out what he wants that it might have taken him a million years to work out that he's into boys. I mean, he apologizes for things that aren't even remotely his fault, and is desperate for the approval of others. He's not going to come out of the closet if there's even the slightest chance that someone might disapprove.

They don't go any further than that, but they do have a sleepover, and Shinji tells him that he hates his dad, which he's expressed in the past, but never quite so directly and succinctly. Shinji wonders why he would tell Kaworu this, of all people. I think, Shinji's sexuality aside, Kaworu showed up in just the right place and time and made himself available in just the kind of way Shinji needed at that moment. He wanted someone to talk to, and suddenly Kaworu's there to grant his wish. Kaworu just makes Shinji feel at ease, maybe for the first time ever.

Meanwhile, SEELE has resolved to put a stop to Gendo Ikari and his usurpation of NERV. SEELE created NERV to further its own agenda, but they feel Gendo has warped NERV to service his agenda instead.

Meanwhile, Gendo Ikari talks to Eva Unit 01, and addresses it as Yui, his dead wife. According to him, the Lance of Longius was in their way, so he wanted it thrown into outer space, whether SEELE liked that or not. He believes the 17th Angel, the last one, will appear soon, and with its death, he and Yui shall have their wish granted at last. Huh.

Oh, also earlier on, Kaworu introduced himself to Rei and told her that they were alike. She stays up all night wondering why she's still alive, and what Kaworu meant. What is it they have in common?

Meanwhile, Misato does some digging on Kaworu and discovers that he has the ability to increase his synchronization with the Evas at will. Like, he can control it completely if he wants, or he can lower his sync score to make it seem like he's not as good at it. That's supposed to be impossible, so Misato goes to Ritsuko, who I guess is in a NERV detention facility. She asks Ritsuko what Kaworu is, and she speculates that he's the final Angel. I was about to ask why Ritsuko never mentioned this earlier, but I forgot, she's turning against NERV, so her answer would probably be "'Cause fuck'em."

But before Misato can act on this informaiton, Kaworu makes his move. He activates Unit 02 and takes it down to the room where Adam is. Everyone's shocked, mostly because Kaworu doesn't even have to be inside the Eva to control it. He just floats alongside the thing as they head downstairs.

But also, as Admiral Clownshoes points out, SEELE is behind this. They knew what this kid was and they sent him to NERV knowing he would launch an attack.

And just so there's no confusion on this point, we cut to SEELE who talk amongst themselves about how they planned for this to happen. They expect this to be Gendo's final stand, and that he'll use Eva Unit 01 to stop Kaworu. So do they plan on NERV winning this fight? I assumed this showdown with the 17th Angel would happen regardless, so maybe SEELE's play here is to force the confrontation on their terms, so that the outcome is more favorable to them than for Gendo.

Because, the worst case scenario here is that Kaworu wins and destroys the world. Right? I mean, that's what this has been about from the start. Why would SEELE take such a gamble? How did they even arrange this? Did they look up "17th Angel" in the Yellow Pages, call him up and go "Hey, we want to pull a prank on Gendo. You want in on this?"

Maybe they just discovered Kaworu's infiltration and chose to let it play out. This implies that they can detect Angels much more effectively than NERV, which seems kind of backwards. If they have superior intel on the Angels, then why is Gendo the one running NERV?

As SEELE anticipated, Gendo sends Shinji to intercept in Unit 01. At first, Shinji refuses to believe that Kaworu is an Angel, but then he gets furious at Kaworu for betraying him and using his emotions against him. Kaworu's as bad as his father, Shinji says, which is as good a motivation as any.

But Shinji can't attack Kaworu while he's got Unit 02 to back him up. Shinji asks how he can control Unit 02, and Kaworu explains that he and the Eva are both made from the same type of Angelic tissues, from Adam. So it's child's play for him to control the Eva. Shouldn't that mean the other Angels would have had the same ability? I guess it doesn't work when they have pilots inside. Whatever.

As the battle progresses, Misato orders her dude at the controls to initiate a self-destruct on the whole base if Shinji's signal is lost. She reasons that it would be better to destroy the whole facility and die than to allow Kaworu to reach Adam and trigger Third Impact. Wait, is that still the lore? I thought they debunked that a while back?

But as Kaworu draws closer, they detect another powerful AT field, and they think it's another Angel. Well, no, it's just Rei. Your guess is as good as mine.

As Kaworu draws closer to Adam, he waxes philosophic about this. From the way he speaks of it, it's like he's compelled to return to Adam, because he was born from Adam. So maybe this was why all of the Angels headed for Tokyo-3. It's an instinctive compulsion, like salmon swimming upstream. But Kaworu seems to find it tragic that his instinctive compulsion will lead to the destruction of humanity.

Then he gets closer and realizes this isn't Adam at all but... Lilith? Who the hell is Lilith? Apparently this wasn't what Kaworu had in mind. He refers to humans as "Lilim", implying that they're the descendants of Lilith, just as the Angels and Evas are born of Adam, but... I dunno.

And in this moment of confusion, Shinji manages to catch up to Kaworu and grab him. If I understand correctly, Rei's AT field is neutralizing his own? And Shinji managed to overpower Unit 02, so Kaworu is defenseless. He seems more relieved than worried.

Kaworu explains that one one life form can inherit the future, Angels or humans, and he seems to have developed an admiration for humanity, perhaps from the time he spent living among them. Now that he's reached this place, he's content to die here, for life and death are of no great consequence to him. But he warns Shinji that he must kill him, because if Shinji doesn't, humanity will surely be doomed.

It's weird how this is the only Angel who can talk and he's even more cryptic and weird than the rest. I wonder if they all felt this way about it. It was all just a weird routine for them, and they don't particularly care if they win or lose as long as it's over.

Shinji begs him to explain what the fuck he's talking about, but this is all the explanation he's going to get. Either kill Kaworu or the whole world dies. At this, everyone just sort of freezes in place for... maybe two minutes? And then finally Shinji crushes him and his head falls into the Tang pool beneath Adam. Or Lilith. Who cares?

Later, we see Gendo and Rei watching Unit 01 getting the blood washed off it.

Elsewhere, Shinji talks to Misato and mourns Kaworu's death. He told Shinji he loved him, and he had never heard such kind words before. Shinji thinks Kaworu should have survived, but Misato counters that Kwaoru had given up his will to survive, and thus forfeited his right to live. That's kind of harsh.

Here's my version: Whatever Kaworu was, he seemed to only value his life as far as the time he spent with Shinji. And so if he had won, and Shinji perished with humanity, what would Kaworu have left to live for? That's why he said life and death are equal to him. It didn't matter because in his view, both were the same fate, but at least Shinji and his kind could grow and evolve to find new purpose. So if only one or the other can have the future, then it's only fair that it go to the one that can actually do something with it.

Anyway, the bigger picture here is that we just saw the last Angel die, and yet there's still two more episodes to go. What, does everyone just have a pizza party now? Asuka was despondent about not being an Eva pilot, but what good is being an Eva pilot when there's no more Angels to fight?

There is, of course, the SEELE vs. Gendo conflict to sort out, but it's hard to get invested in that when both sides are assholes, and I have no idea what either of them wanted. For all I know, they both won today.

Also, Shinji won, but he's still not happy. Kid, there's other boys in the world, if that's what's bothering you.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Hi Marzi! Hope you're doing well.

I've had some questions about CPeak for some time. And i was just wondering what you'd think about them!

1. When the police found Beatrice murdered, they didn't seem to suspect Lucille because she was just a child then. So why was she sent to the assylum? Is it because no one volunteered to take care of her, and she had nowhere else to go?

2. Lucille was pregnant when Thomas was married to Enola. That was 1896, so Lucille was 31 then. Do you think it was her fist pregnancy? I mean, it's probably been over 10 years since they've been sleeping with each other. Do you think they've ever tried some kind of contraception?

3. What do you think the villagers' opinion on the Sharpes would be? Allerdale is probably the largest house in the region so everyone would know who the Sharpes are. And both Thomas and Lucille seem to regularly visit the village. Do you think the villagers ever suspected the Sharpes? (Especially about Thomas having multiple wives. And also Beatrice's death.)

And as far as i know, not going to church was considered unacceptable at that time. The Sharpes don't seem to go. Edith went to church when she was in America. So what would've Edith thought about that? And the villagers?

Happy to offer my thoughts!

I have two theories about how Lucille ended up in the asylum. The first- and what I think the movie meant to imply -was that the police did figure out that she'd killed Beatrice. There was a public story about her going to a convent school to save the family's reputation, while she was in fact institutionalized.

My second theory is that the authorities didn't work out the truth and released her to the same aunt and uncle in Whitehaven that Thomas spent his school holidays with- but they either suspected her guilt or simply found her inconvenient to deal with, and packed her off to a mental hospital. (Which, either way, I imagine to be the most disreputable sort of charity hospital- decent asylums DID exist back then, with doctors genuinely trying to help their patients, but those tended to be for people with money.)

2. Again, a few options here as I see it:

It was her first pregnancy that got far enough to be noticed, possibly because she's just biologically inclined to be less fertile (or Thomas has a low sperm count, or whatever).

She'd been terminating them before, but this was the first one Thomas actually noticed. And his excitement + her desire to be a mother despite thinking it was a bad idea convinced her to carry to term this time.

They had been using some kind of contraception, which failed (probably anything they had access to would be far less effective than modern options, and state-of-the-art contraception for 1896 would have been beyond their means).

I definitely suspect she terminated any subsequent pregnancies, though- and given period abortion methods and her lack of medical training beyond first aid and kitchen chemistry, it's a miracle she didn't die.

3. The bios sort of answer this one! Apparently the children were allowed out a bit more before their father's death, and though the family on the whole didn't mix with the villagers, they apparently found Thomas charming and Lucille polite but cold. The article about Beatrice's death, in the movie, mentions that people sometimes saw Lucille riding her pony (?!) around the hills near the house. As adults, the siblings seem disinclined to give a damn what anyone they don't need anything from thinks of them. So the villagers might well find them both incredibly sketchy- they just don't care.

(That said, I'm not sure their behavior would raise too many red flags if they weren't around much. Thomas is actively charismatic and likeable, and even Lucille is well-mannered- being well-mannered but aloof and very Proper would hardly have seemed unusual for a thirtysomething aristocratic spinster back then.)

(They don't know that he was psyched to have gotten his sister pregnant, or that she thinks seldom blinking makes her seem more normal.)

As for going to church, yes, it was expected of the well-to-do in both the US and UK back then. But again...the Sharpes give nary a damn what's expected. It seems their parents barely did, and that's when the family still had some fortune to lose. Easy enough to plead inability to attend- the Baronet is away on business; Lady Sharpe is in delicate health. The children could scarcely go on their own, after all. The villagers might have thought it odd, but they're still just villagers. Their opinions were of no consequence to nobility.

As for the adult occupants of Allerdale Hall in 1901...I'd be very surprised if any of them were particularly religious. Even Edith, who both grew up going to church and knows for a fact that there is life after death, doesn't really seem the type to me. I doubt she thinks about it much, really.

And the siblings have no reason to venerate a god who seemingly heard years of their desperate prayers and did nothing.

[churchkey]

i know webgott isn't exactly the ship you primarily write for but GOD i love the way you write modern david webster in maximum volume (and i love his raport with nix it reminds me so much of my own queer friend group in ways i've yet to articulate properly) and i was wondering if you have any headcanons about their coupling and/or their interactions with their friend group (as a couple or individually)?

Haha oh my god, thank you! That's so nice of you to say! I based them loosely on my cousin and his boyfriend, who used to have epic Halloween parties before they got old and decided it was too much work, and if everyone loved it so much, they could damn well volunteer to host it themselves. Alas, no one did.

But David and Joe are still young and fun so let's talk about them. I feel like you should win a prize or something because this is officially the FIRST Webgott ask I've ever received. I do have a few headcanons about them, which did not make it into the fic because I mean, for christ's sake, the thing is already way too long. Anyway, if you'll just follow me...

Even though they knew and liked each other in high school, I don't think they got together until later. Like one time in college they bumped into each other on campus and it was like "I always had a crush on you" - "same" and then they were inseparable. They got married kinda young, around 24 or 25 (I imagined them right around 30 in the fic) and their families were like "... are you SURE you don't want to wait a little longer?" But they don't listen to anyone else, naturally, because what the hell do they know?

I also envisioned them as having gone on some long bike-camping trip up the coast on a tandem bike just before they decided to get married, and something very profound happened on this trip, maybe it just challenged them in ways they'd never been tested before, and they met and overcame those obstacles together and it sort of cemented their bond as a couple. Because if you can successfully ride a tandem with your partner, you can probably weather any storm.

They used to have threesomes with George back in the day but they don't anymore. David and George are good buddies (I've always felt strongly about this, based solely on how George was kind of nice to Webster in that episode when he comes back from the hospital and is just being such a clueless dick). They go see bands together and to see midnight showings of cult movies and stuff like that. Joe actually thinks that if David weren't with him, he and George would be a good couple.

David still has a little teeny tiny crush on Mr. Winters. He wished he knew he was gay when he actually had him as a teacher, but he totally understands why he wasn't out at work.

As mentioned in Ch. 1, they're both journalists. Joe is a sports writer for the major metro daily, David writes for a local news/arts/culture blog. This means they're always out somewhere covering a game or event or whatever, which works for them because the true secret to their success as a couple is their own selfish pursuits of what makes them happy as individuals. They're good at giving each other space to do whatever the fuck they want, knowing that at the end of the day, they don't want anything else as much as they want each other.

Everyone assumes they're about one big blow up away from divorce, but they're actually surprisingly stable. They truly enjoy each other's company and are just as content tending to their flower beds together as they are going to a party or out to the bars with their friends. They worship their cats. They have a Sunday ritual (h/t @anthrobrat) of reading the entire Sunday paper, section by section, David reading the gossip page out loud and being appalled at the list prices of houses in the Real Estate section and saving the Food section because they might actually try one of the recipes this week (they never do). At their core, they're basically just a couple of old queens sliding comfortably into middle age, though their friends would be shocked to see this side of them.

Idk... this is honestly the most I've ever thought about them so I hope it fits with what you were thinking, or at least makes sense with their little cameos in the story. Thanks for the ask, it's always fun to explore and imagine. And thank you so much for reading my stuff! I appreciate you and everyone else who takes the time to read my work so very much. Take care 😍❤️

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

I wanted to message you a running commentary as I read chapter 8 of EnNi. It went something like this:

Fuck you Joel.

No, seriously, FUCK YOU JOEL.

Good girl, stand your ground. I couldn't do it but go you!

Oh shit the barn. Oh shit Ellie!!!!!

Oh shit R!!!

Oh shit Joel!!! Dammit WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING SOFT AND UNDERSTANDING WHEN WE'RE TRYING TO STAY PISSED AT YOU?

Ellie, shut. up.

Damn. Vomit. Same girl, same.

Well. This is what happens when you repress trauma to this point. Considering Joel murdered people twice (first the FEDRA guard and then the hospital) when it happened to him, her reaction isn't nearly as bad. But now her trying to cold shoulder him isn't going to work very well, now is it?

In all seriousness, I am the kind of person who would have folded and forgiven Joel in a hot second. The second a person apologizes to me for anything, I turn into a guilty mess and start turning it on myself so I'm at fault, or get mad at myself for making them apologize. I am trying to learn four very important words: "Thank you for apologizing."

That being said, just because you accept an apology and forgive someone DOES NOT MEAN that the relationship resumes. Joel has done this to her multiple times and the last was the worst so it's clearly escalating, and he is the volatile type who will do it again, even if he's sorry. And I'm with her, asking her how to fix it, while on one hand is an attempt to give her control, is also unfair because it's making HER do the work and HE needs to do the work. He just got "lucky" that she had a total and utter breakdown and he got the opportunity to help. Lucky him.

Alright then! Keep it coming! This is probably my favorite chapter yet.

On a final note, if I were her, I would lock myself in my house and never come out again. Ever. Lol.

Was saving this ask for when I had the time to give it my full attention!

"Oh shit Joel!!! Dammit WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING SOFT AND UNDERSTANDING WHEN WE'RE TRYING TO STAY PISSED AT YOU?" ══════════════════ lmaoooooo yep! if it makes you feel any better, I get annoyed at him while I'm writing him. It's of course entirely my fault for everything that happens, but that doesn't stop me from getting pissy with him.

But now her trying to cold shoulder him isn't going to work very well, now is it? ══════════════════ Hhhmmmm, we'll have to see about that. 😇 He certainly said some incredibly hurtful things in an incredibly hostile way. Not the easiest thing to get back into someone's good graces once you've fucked up that bad.

I am trying to learn four very important words: "Thank you for apologizing." ══════════════════ I love this! Such an important sentiment.

HE needs to do the work. ══════════════════ MOST DEFINITELY. He's not gonna get off the hook that easy. Yes, he's "lucky" that something happened where she needed him, but she is just as stubborn as he is in a lot of ways. Joel has his work cut out for him, let's just say that lol.

Alright then! Keep it coming! This is probably my favorite chapter yet. ══════════════════ I'm glad you enjoyed it! I really like this chapter as well! It's a major turning point for the story, and it's the main catalyst for where things are headed. There's quite a bit for us to work through, so buckle up haha.

Tysm for reading! 😘

catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥

[rvnwtch]

@craftygamerkm1714 tagged me in a tag game thing!!! Here’s some answers!!

1 Are you named after anyone?

Oh this is a REALLY good question. I don’t think so. I think my parents just picked out a name they liked the sound of. (Which I’m glad for. I don’t need to carry on someone else’s legacy.)

2 When was the last time you cried?

Last night because I was listening to this woman tell a beautiful story and it-it just GOT me okay? (which is impressive, I don’t think I’ve cried from a story since Addie LaRue was early released for book of the month) also whenever I read Song of Achilles I cried for the last 16 pages.)

3 Do you have kids?

No. And I don’t know if I ever will. Part of me wants to be a mom so bad but also… I don’t think I have the patience and I think that’s very grown up of me to realize and not sad at all!

4 Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Every word out of my mouth

5 What’s the first thing you notice about people? 

If they look upset or not. I’m not judging anyone, I’m just shy and debating how to interact with people.

6 What’s your eye color?

Eye color is the color of someone’s irises! They come in a variety of colors ranging from light to dark. Hell maybe some people have no eye color at all. (Remember that sarcasm question?) That would be very badass of them.

7 Scary movies or happy endings? 

I was gonna make up like a super high stakes “I would rather do x,y,z than watch a scary movie!!” But then I decided that was untrue and I don’t want to jinx myself. (The intrusive thoughts started getting me on this one LMAO). Happy endings, when done right, are very nice.

8 Special talents? 

I pick up on things really fast (as long as I’m not anxious or being pressured! Or bored.) I’m just a quick learner so long as I’m interested. 

9 Where were you born?

In a hospital. Probably in an operating room of some sort.

10 What are your hobbies?

I’ve been trying to figure this one out lately. Outside of ESO and reading I don’t do much. I do Like tarot cards, there are some really fun editions out there. And I can’t say any of these things to people I’ve just met! I need more things to do.

11 Do you have any pets?

On Elder Scrolls I have so many pets that my little sibling heard me talking about getting the free Gallen Wisp or whatever it’s called and shouted “I don’t think you need any more pets.” Which is blatantly untrue. I will not rest until I’ve collected every pet in that damn game. My favorite is the wicker fright banekin (but don’t tell the other pets I said that!)

12 What sports do you/have you played?

I was gonna make another joke and say something like “exercise is for the weak!” But that is like the opposite of true so I’ll answer this one. When I was in preschool I “played” soccer. But the coach was mean and I was like four, so I refused to go to the practice sessions or play in the games. I wanted to do volleyball in high school, but I didn’t want people to look at me (being a high schooler and all!) so I didn’t do that either. And I don’t really regret either of those decisions.

13 How tall are you? 

Taller than the tallest mountain peak. I’m so tall that I wear clouds as hats. My goal in life is to always be admired for my pure and authentic height. (Tall for a woman but I will not be sharing anything too identifying on my social media account where I write about video game vampires, Hahaha!)

14 Favorite subject in school?

I’m sure this will come as a surprise, but anything that involved writing! It took less effort than math, and science class has always been hard for me. History was fine, but it had gotten repetitive by high school. I was almost always excited for Language Arts/Reading class. Or any time we got to use class time in the library.

15 Dream job? 

Something that’s partially remote. I wouldn’t mind working from home two or three days out of the week and going in only once or twice. I need something that gets me out of the house, but I’m a major homebody with anxiety so… I need to spend time in my room to recuperate. Also important would be something where people won’t yell at me. 

I’m tagging @simping-master-69 and

@i-simp-for-fennorian !!!

[hasufin]

A couple years ago, my father-in-law was in a bad motorcycle accident. He was unable to move around at all for about a month, and in a wheelchair for several months.

We discovered a lot of things.

For one, most American houses are just not accessible to people with wheelchairs. For example, the main door into his house was up three steps and then a 90° turn at a tiny landing. Which is inconvenient enough for most people, with the way the doors swing, but it was simply impossible for us to get him up or down that safely. The other door was a basement access which you needed to go down a steep ungraded slope to reach and a total nonstarter.

The hospital tried to teach us to move him up and down stairs, but we found that you need two pretty strong men to do it, and we only had access to one person who was strong enough: we could have gotten him out of the house in case of a fire - probably - but not as a regular thing.

We looked into ramps. ADA guidance at the time was one foot of ramp for one inch of rise in a public setting, and six inches of ramp for one inch of rise in a private building. We determined that to get him into the building, we'd need a ramp something to the tune of 60 feet long. Which would have run upwards of $10,000, and required HOA approval (yay HOAs! Gotta love 'em!) which would have taken so long to get and build that by the time it was installed, he'd be walking again.

The solution? A transport service. They come out with a vehicle modified to handle wheelchairs and two dudes who will carry him down the stairs. We got one of the better rated ones in the area. Which still meant they'd show up anywhere between 15 minutes early and an hour late. And sometimes we'd pay the additional fee for them to wait - he was going to various doctors, and a fair number of them would only take half an hour or so, which meant we didn't want to wait an additional half hour for them to show up when he was done. Except... they generally didn't wait. If he was done and they weren't there, they'd just refund the waiting fee. So we were always waiting for the transport service.

The doctor's offices - places which in theory should be set up for people who have mobility issues - were sometimes quite difficult. Too-small elevators, poorly-marked routes, broken buttons for door controls, and overly-high thresholds abounded.

At home, we found many other problems. Have you ever noticed that your bathroom doors are the narrowest in your home? Like, why is that? Why aren't they the same size as all the other doors? But no, bathroom and closet doors are narrow. Narrower than wheelchairs. Hell, narrower than walkers, even. I do not want to discuss how we handled that, but we did.

Oh, and wheelchairs. Wheelchair seats are not comfortable. There are cushions you can get - they're awfully expensive for what they are, but they exist. There are a lot of addons available, actually. They cost, and some make your wheelchair wider. Oh, right. You may have noticed not everyone is the same size. We determined that I can just barely fit into the wheelchair he got. I'd need a wider one. I'm not bariatric, I'm just a bigger guy. Which means, you guessed it, I couldn't possibly get me and the wheelchair I'd need through a bathroom door, and regular doors would be challenging.

Now, hospitals use wheelchairs with solid rubber tires. This is sensible for them, because those things are damned-near indestructible and work fine on tile floors. On carpet? Not so much. He'd just get STUCK on carpet. No traction. But the wheelchairs with essentially bike tires cost more and require maintenance.

Outside was also a Thing. In theory he lived in a complex with very nice sidewalks. In practice, it was a challenge. You'd not notice walking around, but so many places were just impassible. Or someone was running a car charger or a hose, or had blocked the path with their big rolling garbage can. And if you're in a wheelchair, that's impassible.

And these are just the issues I learned about with someone who had temporarily limited mobility which could largely be addressed with a wheelchair. I know next to nothing about handling things like blindness or being hard of hearing. I have thought about how many things I'd find challenging or impossible if I didn't have use of both hands, or couldn't lift more than 10lbs. I mean, there's a restaurant we do to which for Some Damned Reason has a door that I, a grown man with decent strength, find challenging to open.

And I think it's worth recognizing, I don't think most of this is explicitly intentionally ableist. I don't think there are building designers twirling their mustaches and going "Now we can stop zee disabled people HERE and HERE!!!" It's the same mindset which puts a window 20' above a front door and is baffled by a housewife asking "How am I supposed to clean that?". It's simply a matter of Not Thinking About It. And when you view accessibility as an add-on and not baked-in, it's either forgotten or unfunded, most people don't care and won't inconvenience themselves for it.

"Love taking an 8 minute route that takes an abled 2 minutes"

[the-firebird69]

You people say you're in charge no matter how small you are what kind of stupid particular you're in or even the powerless and Stan wisinski doesn't he doesn't have hardly any power there's people are teeny and these demons are small too you don't you simply do not have the power to get me the money or stuff and you're holding on by one finger and you say it all the time and you're trying to threaten me with your damn finger when another group will come in. I don't know what to tell you you're splitting yourselves up and you're already weaker than a little kid little babies this formula is not hard to figure out and BG said it his people were getting him stuff his whole life they're small beat up going down now they're running Saturn and you can't figure it out and he is damned angry and I am too I don't have a problem with another party opposing the empire but Trump has spent and he just wants to go backwards and f*** himself because it's AI boy I'm sick and tired of this dumb piece of s*** I'm telling my people remove him on those grounds and you have to you have to be trying it's it's not for our plan and it's starting to realize it and jeez this is terrible BG says it is terrible it's really really simple the empire is going to pay me later probably too late and plans to keep going all of you so what does that tell you

Zues Hera

He's trying to say it in English doesn't want to turn into Trump just a mean Trump who says you should get it and isn't I get this stuff we're sitting here watching them deteriorate not doing anything and he's stuck there and it's not good for us the empire is doing it on purpose using the threat that we're posing and they intend on getting them stuff later and escaped like us for all the ills of Earth and more. Now this is simple stuff that we thought you guys got into Christ it doesn't sound like you have any of it and it's bad. I don't know how to explain it no I do. If you keep on doing this to him you're taking the brunt of what a overt lame cheesy threat does but you do it all day long to each other everywhere and I saw his point so now you're separated out because no one can stand you and we're screwed he says it too I don't know what else to do

Camilla

and it's probably the Mac plan anyways but who cares I'm going to get attacked finally when they were just going to get dicked around with and have their fat asses on them and that's changed because the empire is not helping him either it's kind of a blessing in disguise but really guys you can't overcome any of what the empire wants and he says it he says what if you got me $100 more than what they wanted would you lose your spot in social security because you gave me the $30 whatever it was garth and I made rooting his uncle's house was this idiot Trump. In other words the other ones getting the money to me and that's money that is probably outside of their reenactment and you don't do anything like that Trump so you don't know what it's like I don't know

Zues

Is that where extorting that's another thing and I don't really know what it is he says probably but I think I do we're going around doing things and the empire is having us do stuff it's not helping us and we're calling an extortion I'm not really getting anything

Trump

They put it in the hospital for a few reasons she's Mac proper back then they're taking stuff and they put them in there to make sure that nothing happened and they're also filling them up with this medicine she's fussed or radiate himself is forced to he drags us around and we get killed and they're removing leadership and you think it's good cuz you're stupid and they did that to you so I got my work cut out for us having to do some crazy s*** and force you to evacuate and it'll kick us out then they're going to go after the ships but he says is he thinks there's so many of these more luck that they're going to grab a lot of the ships and at the empire is not going to get as many as you think that's probably true and then there's Tommy f but we think we're going to push him out and the warlock will probably grab those and the Trump stores will be out that's pretty much what I see and he's seeing it too but you guys are cheap and you're not overcoming anything we know what the back pain is kind of and he's right and they're going to pay him later and you can hear it and he keeps making it richer and richer and he can't help it he's saying I don't have money for a long range battery and you want me to shut my mouth Dave AKA Dan you're a nutcase you should go hang yourself somewhere see your father can find you and he can hang himself you're useless monster God honest to God you can't you could not give me a hundred bucks out of line of that Mac progress stuff he thinks his mom did with a thousand bucks and she did at Wells Fargo on purpose and it is a code and she said we used to do it a little and we know what it does they run around telling you what their plan was and then you're screwing it up and none of you can do it she had records on JC and Mary and a lot of clan did and they knew about it and the money and stuff isn't good to them and she said this this morning he's going to have an eruption every day he's just trying to sit there because he's kind of in a state of hell with this empire that wants to rule his life in a bunch of incompetent people and I'm going through it too and then he says we have to get in there and assist my people can't do it either unless they have cover to get these assholes engaging it relax the max that's probably Mac proper really they need to be engaged and it's happening it's taken forever and it used to be something that people actually do you can't count on it just happening and saying it is pretty brilliant and we see that his mom knows the stuff and he grew up paying attention they still help him in a situation is very bad and there's his and he feels really bad that they're diminishing further and then very smart and these mats are not so Swift and a bunch of Catholic bags they do their fix it with a Band-Aid it's going to be big maybe hahaha he's not going to get smaller he's laughing at them and they don't get it it's sort ofget it

Okay I was just sitting here blabbing the truth is you guys are not overcoming the empire at all you're not doing anything yet you haven't gotten him anything if the empire is not having you do and it's ridiculous you're weaklings and you're saying you're not you're running around all day screwing around with him messing up for the empire because you're going to be gone soon and they're going to get him stuff later am I not saying it right.

Mac Daddy

It's kind of like this I say it occasionally but really I can't hold on to it I'm blinded with rage and hate and yeah he's laughing at me cuz I can't hold my head up and that's what it is I know we're doing the extortion thing and he said yeah they have you doing it and they're not playing on doing it that way you idiot they're playing on doing the extortion thing they just don't tell me about it and that's the difference and the reason why they're doing that is to kill you he says and it's working you have to look at the fact that it's working and f*** you Trump you're dead f****** pile of s*** that we may have to push that you back on them to fight to take care of you because they did it to us and now you can go suck your cock Trump you f****** f**... So I do see there's a problem and just people and others pushed us back onto the back proper cuz we're bothering these guys and now we're stuck between them and the pseudo empire and it's not going well and I have to go to treatment and he says what the hell we do all that stuff and you go to treatment I'm starting to get something is actually going very badly and we can't raise our head against the empire and these guys are taking a territory and getting rid of us because we're useless in the foreigners are going to roll over us it makes a lot of sense but now we're over there we have a chance to fight the Mac proper and we're not doing anything here

Trump

You're very wealthy person and you're on the street all the time you're an embarrassment and you're humiliate yourself and others and he doesn't like you at all for it and you're a s*******. I'm tired of your dumbass you're a repulsive person and you're mean no matter what you're doing I've never seen this before you're like an animal you like a little coyote you're just some dumb ass s*** head it's kind of what you behave like we hate you everyone hates you and yeah you can't beat the empire bja can't seem to do anything outside of what they're doing and it's going to come along we'll do it and he'll say thanks for nothing and they're going to keep doing it and they're attackless and they're not smart anymore either

Mac Daddy

Really we're not doing the right thing and we said it earlier and it's true and these two are complete idiots they're spent and they're not even here you say it was shot like 2 hours ago he looks normal sounds it he's got like stage 5 cancer walking around like nothing's wrong yeah there's something wrong with that. So you see how hard it is and it's ridiculous now I'm going to be fighting these idiots in the four years foreigners but for real you guys can't do anything for him but we're in the way but you simply won't do anything anyways and Dolores gave him a grand and yeah it wasn't part of the plants we started harping on social security and got our asses kicked and we see that's against the plan but she can see what we're up to and other people and it's not stupid but hell you know we went the wrong way again and you say it too what am I supposed to do I want to survive and you guys are not doing the job at all this is ridiculous here and keep my head above water just barely and you should see what it's like he's angry as hell just telling people get out of my way you don't get out of the way you're going to get tortured and f****** kill and I noticed it's true and people have to start to do something different this a****** Trump is going out now to go bother people for Christ sakes somebody to stop him

Mac Daddy

Olympus

[troublesjunkyard]

So I technically had my first day of work? I was there from 9:00 - 11:40 But they had me get my fingerprint scanned so I could clock in/out and had me go over all the guidelines. The manager then sent me home and said she would text me my schedule.

I almost was late too. I got halfway down the second street when I realized I had forgotten a piece of paper that I needed, so I had to turn back. After grabbing the paper, I walked out the door and went to close it when Amicus ran out the door. (He is not a runner, he just likes to be outside w/ me.) I tried to pick him up, but he laid down, and because I was trying to get him inside as fast as possible, I was holding the screen door open.

That was a mistake. As soon as I got Amicus inside, Chaos ran out and he was too fast so I couldn't grab ahold of his harness. So I then had to wrangle him. (We aren't sure if he's a runner or not.) Chaos made it outside and was like "WooHoo! I'm outside in the front yard! Let's run around in circles before doing zigzags!" (Luckily he didn't run out of our yard.) After finally catching Chaos and putting him inside, I was able to shut and lock the door.

So that was very stressful. Both Amicus and Chaos chose the one day that I needed to leave and not be late so I had a job, to fuck up my day.

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THEY NORMALLY DO! Amicus is very good at listening and usually stays inside until I give him the okay to come out. And Chaos has been learning to stay when you say stay.

...

They could have done this any other day. But they chose today to do it.

Probably because I left, and that would have been the first time I have left (without leaving with my mom right next to me) with my mom already gone (and leaving them all alone.) So when I came back and tried to leave again, they were like "Okay guys, operation 'Keep Dakota here with us all day like normal' is a go!"

Oh yeah, I don't have a car nor a driver's license or even a permit, so I had to walk. The McDonald's was 16 minutes away. (In walking distance to our house.)

I left at 8:32 and realized I forgot the paper and turned back at 8:34. I left the house the second time (after wrangling the dogs) at 8:38.

Sure that is enough time. There are easily more than 16 minutes from 8:38 - 9:00. But you also have to factor in traffic.

I have to cross a not-very-busy street (most of the time) to get to the hospital parking lot. I then take the H p-l into the Braum's (a fast food place) p-l (fast food parking lot means watch out for cars.) I then have to take B p-l to the main street. I have to wait for the crosswalk to be safe to cross, cross, then I have to wait again to cross to the other side. (I have to cross twice to get two the McD.)

So I made it to the McD at 9:00 on the dot. If I had left any later, I would have been late.

Luckily, I know the route very well since I take the same route to get home from school if I walk.

I pass by the McD, cross the street, cross the street again, walk through the B p-l into the H p-l, walk through the H p-l to the side road, cross the side road to get to the neighborhood roads and then travel down the neighborhood street to get to my street and to my house.

So I at least had familiarity with the route so I wasn't slowed down even more by being unsure if I was going the right way.

...

"When life gives you lemons" make extra sour lemonade so you can throw it into the eyes of your enemies.

Or something along those lines.

(ˉ▽ˉ；)... so much text- sorry I had to read it three times.

Damn... what a day... But at least you made it hooray!

I hope it will go well for you (*^▽^*)

I had my last work day today, so I've got some free days now, yay!

[philtstone]

at last: part two

Summary: It’s lined paper, torn out of a notebook, maybe even one of AJ’s for school. Scrawled over the top in Bucky’s familiar block-letter handwriting it reads:

DR N EXERCISE (WRITE TO HELP WITH WORDS – SORT OF???)

WHAT I WOULD TELL QUEEN RAMONDA & FAMILY ABOUT SARAH

Or, Bucky finally proposes. Well -- he's planning on it, anyway. Good thing Sarah's occupied with other things.

The long and short of it is, Sarah gets migraines now.

That’s what the doctor says. The hard facts are that first off, she has lived a very stress filled life. Second she is nearing fifty; women’s hormones are silly things. Third, well, sometimes bodies and personalities don’t quite get along.

Sarah, says Dr. Jean. She has been their family doctor since Sarah was thirteen. She showed Sarah how condoms worked. She drove AJ to the hospital once when he had stomach flu and Sarah was in New Orleans chasing after a business license, and otherwise barely holding it together. Sarah, honey, you know you been getting headaches for a while now. This ain’t news.

Sarah has spent the last five minutes pursing her lips hard at the child’s finger painting decorating Dr. Jean’s office and crossing and uncrossing her arms. Headaches are fine and well, everyone gets ‘em. This is different. This means she sometimes won’t be able to take care of herself. 

“Yes,” Dr. Jean says wryly. “Good thing you got that man of yours around. I imagine you don’t just keep him for his looks.”

Dr. Jean is sixty and allowed to say things like that. Sarah grumbles the whole way home from the doctor’s office anyway.

At home, the house is empty. Her appointment was scheduled for her day off, which doesn’t overlap with Bucky’s; he’s at work, probably bored out of his mind from the paperwork for the new charter boat – it’s two counties over and they will have to drive out to get it – but also having the time of his life teasing the new dock hires with Carlos. They have one of them convinced that super serum has you growing too much hair in weird places, and if you’re not careful it can become a medical condition.

Poor Isaac. Not too sharp, Sarah thinks, but he’s good with his hands and knows how a boat works. Anyway, between Carlos and Bucky the old man seniority cards are unfairly stacked; any moderately respectful kid’s at risk of being gullible. 

It isn’t that she begrudges Bucky his silliness – God knows he’s earned it – but just now she is in a bad and self-pitying mood, so the thought of him does not make her smile as it usually would. Cass and AJ are at school and she has the whole house to herself. Her plan was to get some cleaning done. Instead, Sarah pours herself a glass of wine, plants herself at the kitchen table, paints half the toenails on her left foot and has a small, angry cry. 

She has given up on the task and is mopping the living room when Sheira calls.

“Well just come on out tonight, then. We can take Mylene with us and have a few drinks.”

“Sheira, forreal, I got work tomorrow.”

“I didn’t say get drunk. Anyway, you know those businesses of yours are thriving. Honey, forreal, you got a secretary now. I called the other day and some guy picked up on your behalf. That means you got it figured.”

Sarah makes a face. “Yeah, Mo’s a’ight.”

“B convinced you to hire one, didn’t he. Good for him, I don’t think another damn soul could’ve managed.”

Sarah’s already feeling some clingy way about her independence, so Sheira’s insightfulness begets a very grown-up pout.

“I was gonna distribute the load!” Sarah protests.

“Sarah, since Big C died, you have distributed the load only once, in a moment of desperation, when your big brother brought that darling white man home. Otherwise, you remain the most stubbornly independent woman I have ever known, may the good Lord and Baby Jesus and half this tiny ass town stand witness.”

Sarah, done mopping, stows the Swiffer and leaves the floor to dry. She collects her nail polish and her wine and stomps upstairs, tidying as she goes. She says, “Babies can’t stand, Sheira.”

“Oh my God –”

Eventually, they do get around to the issue at hand.

Read more on Ao3

Chapter 1

"i found a dream” series

[boobachu]

Okay listen. My late 20s to 30s were spent taking care of my grandparents. My Papa had deteriorating legs, I had to train him to be able to walk three times cuz rehab gave the fuck up on him.

Now lemme tell you, he worked for the state, Alcoholic beverage commission, he was set, his retirement paid well and he had good insurance. That didn't stop hospitals treating him like shit.

Strokes run in the family, dad had one and got aphasia, then papa, then nana. It's very realistic I and my brother will eventually stroke out and have some sort of brain damage like that. Probably before we get old because of Covid.

When you can't speak for yourself, even if you have family there, the doctors still treat you like shit. They wouldn't change out Papa, when he cried for help they gave him haldol which sent him to outer space for a month, we thought his brain was totally fried forever.

Another time the hospital was lazy on keeping his legs moving so he got locked in a bent and never could move his knees again for the remaining five or so years of his life.

He was raped in his own home in front of Nana by the caretaker. I never found out until years after he died. She basically was giving him a handjob and was like "Ha ha look!" to my Nana.

Nana and I would have to work together to change his diapers cuz she was too weak to lift him and I was too squeemish to ever look at anyone else naked. Honestly I still freak out a little whenever I have to help someone rub lotion or wash their back. Papa had his wife and grandchildren helping and that didn't stop him from facing multiple torments and indignities from the medical system.

I hope I never grow old, I hope I die before I'm unable to take care of myself. If I ever have a stroke I hope it kills me. This doesn't even touch on the fact that my fucking dad and his god damn wife didn't do a god damn thing to help until Nana was on her death bed and he was chomping at the bit to sell our damn house.

Whether it's selfishness or the cold hard fact that people can't afford to take care of others, children haven't been taking care of their parents since before I was born. There's no such thing as "one person works, the other takes care of family" anymore. No one can afford it. You're fucking lucky to survive on one job per person.

It's also a cold hard fact that medical professionals will abuse you, honestly rape is probably as common as it is in prisons. Tho it's much more likely they'll just forget to feed you or clean you cuz minimum wage, minimum work amirite?

I remember as a kid going to the nursing home cuz aunno I guess parochial schools do that, and the rancid smell was burned into my soul. Even before I knew the horrors I knew that wasn't a place I wanted anyone to go to.

Everyone statistically will eventually be disabled, and because of how things are, that means we're all going to eventually be abused by medical staff. That's a fate that waits for us all unless we change everything.

It feels taboo as a childfree person to admit this but I actually do have concerns about who is going to take care of me when I'm old. The elder care system in our nation relies A LOT on the unpaid care labor of adult children. I just don't think that's a good reason to have kids.

"But you'll have more money!" does not completely put this to rest for me. Neither does "Buy care insurance!" Even if I can afford direct personal care, who is going to advocate for me to get it? Who is going to navigate bureaucracy for me when I'm 80?

"If you do have kids, there's no GUARANTEE that they'll take care of you when your old!" That's true, but doesn't solve my problem.

I think childfree people get very defensive about this question because its used as a kind of "gotcha!" against us, but I actually do not feel we can afford to be in denial about this reality. Based on current trends of more people in their 30s stating they intend to be permanently childfree, we are going to see a huge wave of childfree adults hitting the eldercare system at once in a few decades. Childfree people in their 30s should be advocating around eldercare NOW.

[miekasa]

the babysitter’s club (1)

+ pairing: levi ackerman + (fem) reader, featuring bright-eyed but very easily intimidated interns and part-time babysitters eren and armin who are trying their best

+ genres and warnings: modern au, parents au, fluff, yes the dog’s name is captain and he’s tiny what about it

+ summary: eren and armin are good subordinates, who happen to be pretty good babysitter, too. usually. 

+ word count: 2.7k

+ notes: this was just something fun i edited and reworked again, also to provide some more insight about dad levi and my oc kids; this focuses only on holden, who is the oldest of the bunch, but you’ll more about the rest as they go

It’s not that Levi doesn’t trust Holden’s babysitters, he just would rather watch over her himself. Moreover, he would rather have the time to spend with his small daughter instead of having to leave her in the care of someone else who isn’t you, but sometimes life gets busy, and babysitters come in real handy.

He still doesn’t understand why Erwin would schedule the both of you to attend such important work-related meetings on the same weekend; much less, to send you half-way around the world for yours, and then book Levi for damn near twelve hours on a Saturday. He would murder Erwin if he weren’t his direct boss, and a long-time friend. But shit happens, and while it’s a major inconvenience and pain in his ass to be working on a weekend, it’s good to know he could rely on the brats at the office to step up on such short notice.

“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that if anything happens, I won’t hesitate to dismember you,” Levi says calmly, closing his briefcase after triple-checking its contents.

“Of course,” Armin stiffens visibly, awkward laughter seeping through his words, “Eren and I would never let anything happen to Holden.”

To his left, Holden has already tugged Eren to the coffee table for a game of children’s Scrabble, determined to show off her new skills. Levi smiles slightly as he remembers playing the game with her last week, and how awe-struck she was to have seen Levi create a word bigger than “unattainable”—which is currently the longest word in her four-year-old vocabulary. But he’s certain she would have no trouble beating Eren.

He gives Armin a slight nod. He knows Holden is in good hands; or good enough hands with Armin, anyway. It’s not the first time the duo has babysat, and for as air-headed and clumsy Eren could be at the office, he seemed to be pretty damn good with kids if Holden’s attachment to the brunette was anything to go by.

Levi recounts that you’ve questioned on multiple occasions why Eren was so dedicated to being your PA when he seemed to have a potential career in taking care of, and maybe even teaching children. Not that he’s not a good assistant to you, but he’s certainly not as organized or detailed-oriented as Armin. Levi shrugs away the thought. Eren’s career choices are none of his business; his only concern is that he keeps his daughter safe and sound.

“Right. My card is on the kitchen island, you can buy lunch and dinner or whatever, I don’t think there’s much in the fridge,” Levi informs Armin. He looks briefly to the clock on the wall; he really should get going. “Remember to walk Captain at some point, and no matter what Holden says, he absolutely does need a leash on him. If Erwin isn’t being a complete asshat, I’ll be home by nine. (Y/N) will probably still be on her flight, so call me if you need anything.”

Armin nods enthusiastically, promising Levi that they would take care of everything. They’d better.

“Alright, I’m heading out,” Levi announces, pulling his keys from the table near the door, “Be good, Holden. Tell Armin and Eren if you need anything.”

Holden’s head perks up at the sound of her name. Elegantly, or as elegantly as a four-year-old can be, she stands from her seated crisscross position, to run over to Levi by the door. He should remind her that she should use walking feet inside the house, but he can’t bring himself to, instead crouching down to meet her height.

“Bye, daddy,” she tells him sweetly. Levi reaches a hand out to ruffle the top of her head, much to the small girl’s chagrin. She sports a grimace almost identical to his as he reaches up to try and smooth out the aftermath of her father’s affections, “Daddy!”

Levi can’t help but chuckle, reaching two fingers out to poke at his daughter’s forehead. “Be good. I’ll be back soon.”

“Mommy too?”

Levi sighs, “No, mommy doesn’t come back until Tuesday.”

“That’s four days away,” Holden’s doesn’t hesitate to express her dissatisfaction. Levi nods, a little proud of how quickly she’d calculated that in her head, “Can Eren stay until Tuesday?”

“No, Eren cannot.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Holden crinkles her nose. Levi really has got to do something about her fascination with Eren.

Holden looks backwards to where Eren is still seated around the coffee table, he and Armin watching the father-daughter duo. After reconciling with the fact that Eren does, in fact, have his own home to go back to at the end of the day, Holden turns back around, and holds her hand up, palm facing Levi. He does the same, bringing his larger palm to hers, so that her hand is pushed against the middle of his.

Not one for hugs, kisses, or larger displays of affection, Holden simply turns her palm so that her hand grabs around Levi’s as best as possible, hooking her thumb around his pinky finger—what Levi’s heard the young girl call a hand hug.

“Bye, daddy,” she repeats, squeezing his hand, “Come back soon.”

Levi bends his fingers to wrap around her hand, “I will.”

“Keep an eye on her,” Levi reminds Armin and Eren, after standing back up and gripping his briefcase in his hand, “Don’t cause too much trouble.”

“Holden never causes trouble,” Eren says in response, but his words are spoken in coos to the young girl, who’s already back at his side. 

Levi scoffs, “I was talking to you.” 

“We’ll be fine, boss, don’t worry,” Eren chuckles with an awkward blush, “We love looking after Holden.”

“I’m not your boss,” Levi deadpans, double-checking his pockets for his keys, “You’d better hope everything is fine. Call me if anything happens, I’ll be back soon.” 

With one final round of good-byes, and a wave from his daughter, Levi’s out the door, and stepping into his car with a grimace. It was just one stupid day out of his life. Besides, Holden would be fine with Armin and Eren; she always is. Levi is just grumpy that he can’t be the one to spend the day with her. 

He sighs, reluctantly, putting his keys in the ignition. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could come back to Holden. Everything would be fine in the meantime; for now, he had to focus on how he was going to get himself to sit through Erwin’s long-ass meeting. 

“Levi! Hi! Um… okay, so don’t freak out, but Armin and I are at the hospital with Holden right now—don’t freak out—because there was a small incident at lunch—don’t freak out and fire me please—but! It’s all gonna be okay, they’re already treating her and she’s doing fine now, so don’t freak—”  

“Tell me not to freak out one more fucking time and I’ll castrate Armin and feed you his balls myself.”

“You sound a little freaked out,” Eren placates, wincing and holding his phone away from his ear when Levi growls in response.

“You have five seconds to tell me what you two idiots did to my daughter and explain why I shouldn’t decapitate you immediately.”

“It’s a funny story, actually—so, um, we think Holden might be allergic to nuts…?”

“What do you mean might be, Jaeger?”

Eren can feel his heart in his throat. He eyes Armin on the other side of Holden’s hospital bed. He looks no better—color almost completely drained from his face, but Eren doesn’t think he can say much else to his boss before his knees give out from underneath him.

“Uh, well, it was a lot of technical terms, and—I—um, actually I’m going to let Armin explain!” Eren hurries, all but chucking his phone at the unsuspecting blonde.

Armin’s blue eyes look almost grey with anxiety, but before he can protest, Eren is flailing his hands and pointing fingers and reminding him that Levi will kill them both if he doesn’t start talking.

Reluctant, and terrified, Armin finally lifts the phone to his ear, stuttering out a pathetic hello, but Levi cuts him off before he can say anything else.

“Save it. Send me your location, and pray I don’t kill you when I get there.” Armin chokes out a “yes, sir,” before slowly bringing the phone down to his side.

The good news is that Holden’s allergic reaction wasn’t too severe: her throat had been irritated, and hives had emerged as a result, but it hadn’t been closing up. And luckily, Eren had the endurance to run nearly a mile and half with a four year old tucked under his arm; because with the traffic Armin observed whilst he and Captain huffed and lagged behind, it would have taken thrice as long to get Holden to the ER had they waited and called for an ambulance.

Even better was that Holden was an unnervingly calm kid, even whilst having an allergic reaction. She looked almost back to normal now, save for a few red looking blotches on her neck and upper arm; and seemed more than content to be watching a video on Eren’s phone, despite the situation. She was a little bummed out to find out that she could never eat the new ice cream she liked so much ever again, but she seemed to quickly get over it once Eren reminded her that there were lots of other flavors out there for her to try. Flavors that wouldn’t make her choke to death.

Still, Eren and Armin could probably kiss their jobs goodbye, seeing as they had nearly just poisoned their bosses’ daughter. Holden seemed to like them enough, but, unfortunately, Holden wasn’t the Ackerman who signed their checks.

At the very least, Eren doesn’t think you’ll be too upset with him. He doesn’t think you’ll be ecstatic to hear that while you were away on your already inconvenient work-trip on the other side of the globe, that he also managed to land your daughter in a hospital bed… but you were the more forgiving one. Then again, maybe not so forgiving when it comes to the health and wellbeing of your daughter. 

Eren falls back against the wall in dread. You weren’t even in the same country as him and he was worried about what you might say or do to him. Levi was probably less than twenty minutes away and fully capable of beheading him.

“You… uh, you think the Interior Branch is still looking for interns?” Eren breaks the silence, looking towards Armin, who’s taken the seat next to Holden’s bed, petting Captain robotically as the dog sits in his lap.

“I don’t think it matters,” Armin responds, “They won’t hire corpses.”

Fifteen minutes, and several run red lights later, Levi is bursting through the doors to the pediatric wing of the emergency room. He doesn’t care about the old woman at the reception yelling at him for causing a ruckus, or the other parents, doctors, or visitors eyeing him for marching around like he owned the place. Holden was in there somewhere, and he was going to get to her.

“Holden—oh, god, Holden,” Levi coos, frantic, as he marches into Holden’s room, scurrying to the side of her hospital bed. A cold hand reaches up to stroke her face. Angry, red bumps litter the sides of neck, her cheeks are puffier than usual, and the perimeter of her mouth seems a bit irritated, but Levi is relieved. She’s okay, his baby girl is okay.

“’M fine, daddy,” Holden assures him. She’s almost overly-perceptive for her age, able to pick up on her father’s out of character antics, and does her best to console him. “Eren ran with me all the way here when I started coughing and itchin.’”

Levi nods, the dark grey splotches in Holden’s eyes bringing him comfort, ensuring him that she was okay. “They gave me a shot, and I don’t like needles, but I didn’t even cry at all. Ask, Armin and Eren, they saw! Captain, too.”

“Brave girl,” Levi smiles, reaching his hand up to push her hair out of her face then leans over to press a kiss to her forehead.

Levi had almost forgotten that Eren and Armin were in the room until he hears a blundering cough from behind him. The younger boys look petrified, Eren practically shaking in his shoes, while Armin doesn’t even have the confidence to look him in the eye.

“We’re really sorry, Levi,” Eren apologizes, voice scratchy and wobbly, like he’d been the one to just get a shot, “We didn’t know—and when she started coughing and saying she couldn’t breathe, I swear, I ran here as fast as I could—”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s… fine?”

Levi sighs. Maybe he’d been a little harsh with them on the phone, letting his emotions get the best of him. He’d already been pissed off enough to not have the time to spend with Holden this weekend; hearing that she’d been hurt was just the final push over the edge for him, but it wasn’t necessarily Armin or Eren’s fault.

“I didn’t know either,” Levi exhales, reaching at hand out to pet the top of Holden’s head again, the young girl now distracted once again by the phone in her hand, “She’s never had a reaction to anything before, and neither (Y/N) or I have any strong allergies.”

Armin shuffles where he’s standing. “The doctor said she might be allergic to tree nuts. We, uh, we gave her pistachio ice cream after lunch.”

If there’s anything concerning Levi, it’s that they gave Holden ice cream before dinner, but he supposes he can let it go for now.

“Eren told me to try it, and it tasted good, daddy,” Holden interjects, “Before I started coughing, it was good.”

“Ah, well, you can’t—you shouldn’t eat things that make you feel sick!” Eren stutters loudly.

“But it was good,” Holden pouts, “And you said to try new things, Eri. I won’t know if it makes me sick if I don’t try them.”

Levi holds back his laughter. He knows that Holden definitely wouldn’t want to try the same same flavor again knowing now that she was allergic to it; she was just pulling at Eren’s leg. Levi would have to keep an eye out for the stuff anyway, especially if her oh-so-precious Eren has expressed any former love for it. 

“Um, Levi, sir,” Armin calls, pulling Levi’s attention towards the blonde, “We didn’t know if (Y/N) would have landed already, but do you think you should call her, to, um, let her know?”

Levi’s face pales three shades when he realizes that none of them had already informed you that your daughter was currently hospitalized with a new found allergy.

“You can call her,” Levi says, a shudder in his spine at the thought of relaying this information to you, “That’s your death sentence, not mine.”

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Angel has Kai’s baby in their 3rd (last) year of highschool and Kai has no idea since she hid her pregnancy so 2 years later Kai breaks up with angel to focus on his “experiments” when Kai is sent to Tartarus the guards tell him that he has a visitor and there’s angel and his child and Kai starts to tear up

"Eh...?" you could only mutter in disbelief as Kai read some papers with an unbothered expression.

"I know you for about five years (Y/n). I know you dont have any issues with your hearing." He muttered coldly before sighing and placing the papers on the desk.

"You... want to break up...? Why? What did I do?" You asked with trembling lips as he stared at your eyes.

"Is more about on what you can't and won't do." He pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose before waving it in the air "You know I am the future leader of the hassaikai. And having you near would be only a distraction to my experiments to give this place more credit. You would be like a rock on my path to gain some knowledge."

"You're kidding right?" You almost sobbed "You always told me I was like a safe place for you to go. What the hell happened to that? Or the promises you made for me for us to get married?" He blinked before answering.

"I was foolish. We have a life ahead of us and well, having you being clingy on my back would be a nuisance while working."

The ground could swallow you for all you cared... what the supposed love of your life just said was enough to leave you with eyes red and legs felling like they were trembling.

"Please dont cry. You're dropping them on the ground. And I dont even know if you're clean." You gritted your teeth before breathing in and looking at Kai Chisaki for what you swore for one last time.

"Very well. You want to break up because I'm only a bother to your path to greatness oh punny God? So be it." You walked until you felt him grabbing your wrist until you snatched it away from him.

"When the time is right, we can get back together." He spoke like he was in a fucking meeting in a company.

"No." You hissed "Chisaki I loved you, and I gave you everything of me even supporting your ideas. But then you want to break up with out of no where saying I would ruin your plans by simply existing neat you and to top it off you call me clingy and a nuisance?"

You could see a tad bit of remorse on his eyes as he pondered for a second his own words maybe, but before he could speak you sobbed and opened the door.

"Don't ever look for me Chisaki. And for your information..." you hesitated and gulped down the urge to just yell what you had discovered just earlier while clenching your purse where the pregnancy test lied on.

"What?" He asked, now no longer seeing to be bothered by your sadness and outburst.

"... good luck on your life. I hope you're happy with this obstacle getting away from you." You muttered before closing the door and walking out until you cursed and screamed while you ran as the rain started to make an appearance.

Not noticing the germophobic himself running out of the house with an umbrella to give it to you and soaked as well as he watched with a dread expression your figurine run away...

.

.

Ten years later...

.

.

"I swear Kaiyo... you gonna drive me crazy one of these days." You spoke heartedly as the boy with brow hair laughed in embarrassment while scrubbing the back of his head as you caught all the pieces of the broken chair on the ground.

"Sorry ma! I got carried away." You scoffed but soon smiled at his tiny hands and focused face morph the pieces and piece them back together and with a proud face show you the new constructed chair with a 'tad a!'

"Wow. Impressive sweety!" You patted his hair as he "complained", golden eyes shinning brightly at looking at you with a huge smile on.

Life sometimes was cruel to give the child you loved the exact same face as their father which teared your heart at pieces. But your love for your son was stronger than this stupid thing.

Kaiyo was your son. Not his.

"Ne ne ma? Father's day is coming up!" Kaiyo said and you froze for a moment before sighing while washing the dishes.

Here we go...

"Yes it is coming." You muttered as the boy sneak around and looked up at you.

"You know I dont really care about what the other kids say about me having only a mom but..." he rested his face on his crossed arms on the sink while shyly looking up at you "I was just curious... if I am going to meet mine..."

You sighed while placing the now dry plates on their place before giving your son the best smile you could get.

"Kaiyo, your father is just a very busy name. When we were together he had.. uh.. family business to take care of, so that's why we cant see him much." Kaiyo seemed a bit dissapointmented and it tore you apart.

You could have your own issues with Kai but that didn't mean you would make his son hate him...

"Well... Sato's also got a busy dad but.." he shook his head, messy brow bangs shaking along with his head, until he gave you a bright smile "That's okay! I just hope I get to meet him one day! And that he gets back to you and apologize foe being a dork! So us three can live together!"

A child can dream, right?

But you knew that Kai needed to know the existence of Kaiyo... you werent ignorant...

"Yeah kiddo. Let's hope for the best." You carresed his cheek before kissing it "Okay. Enough talk. Time for bed young man."

"Awww already?" He pouted as you giggled.

"How about that? You go get ready and I tell you stories about me and daddy while we were together?"

"Can I get my plushie of mr Nighteye?" You giggled. Something Kaiyo definitely wasn't equal to his father was his fascination with heroes.

"Sure honey. Now shoo! Go go go!" You squished his cheeks as he laughed and ran towards his room on the apartment.

You snorted at sign before preparing yourself for digging the past once again for the sake of your son.

.

.

.

"MOM!" You almost chopped your finger along with the carrot at the shout of Kaiyo before looking at him in worry to se ehkm pointing at the T.V with horror "The heroes-! The green hero with the girl-!"

You immediately went to his side only to widened your eyes at the image in front of you.

Chisaki..?

"Ma! He is a villain! A BIG ONE!"your son whimpered while going for you for a hug while stared in shock... "Ma? Why are you trembling?"

"H-Huh?" You let out until you gasped at seeing this teenager punching Chisaki square in the face...

"Ma?! You're okay?!"

You didn't know what to feel, but surely you weren't expecting tears to fall when this girl hand cuffed your ex boyfriend and the cops and heroes to put him into a van to surely got to the prison. Tartarus you bet.

You felt a hand rubbing your cheek and soon looked at your son wide teary eyes.

"M-Mommy...?" You hugged him close to your chest and holding his head close as your heart almost slammed out of your chest. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I-i... I'm okay honey." You inhaled before looking into Kaiyo's golden eyes to see worry on them. "Hey, mommy's okay."

"Ma...?"

"Hm?"

"That man looked like me..."

.

How long was he here? Months?

Didn't matter. Nothing mattered more... everything was taken from him. Including his own arms. Now he was just as useless as a cockroach.

Worst of all? His own father figurine on a damn hospital because of him...

Pathetic.

'Is funny how things change' is what you used to say... he found himself scoffing while pressing the back of his head on the wall.

He hadn't stop thinking about you ever since the day he made the decision of breaking up with you. He did tried inumerous times to contact you when he took leadership of the Hassaikai... but he just gave up.

"Probably married with kids already... why are you even thinking about her on the first place..?" he murmured to himself as he felt his chest tighten in sadness.

Everything was just... what he deserved.

He sighed. Closing his eyes for just a split second until he heard banging on the door of his cell until a guard opened the window on it to glare daggers at him.

"Get up. You have visitors."

"Leave me in here. I thought your job was to take seriously enough to not make jokes." He spoke on a hoarse voice until the cell opened with two guards already on it.

"I cant understand why you have visitors as well but get your ass up already."

He just blinked until he got up, two guards in front of him and one behind as he walked.

He just hoped it was fast.

He entered the room, mirrors which surely was where cops were hidden as he sitted down on a chair and waited until the door of iron opened by another guard.

"Right here ma'am. And remember the rules please."

"Of course." His eyes widened and he snapped his head up to see if he hadn't got crazy.

But no. You were there.

Gosh.. you didn't change at all... was even more beautiful than what his mind could have remember.

He stood there in shock as you got in but along with you... holding your hand, was a boy. Dressed with clothes but he surely didn't looked content about being in here.

His face dropped at seing the kid... you had moved on.

"One hour." The guard said locking the door as you stood there awkwardly, while the kid holding onto to you was glaring at the ground.

He wanted to say something but nothing came out as he was still in shock at seeing out of all people you decided to visit him.

The heels you wore clicked on the ground as you walked towards the table and sit down and the boy right by your side on the other chair... not even once you made eye contact with him.

"... (y/n)..." he whispered, still looking at you as if you were some angelical creature.

"Hey... long time that we dont see each other right? Chisaki." You spoke... not with a smile but not with hatred.

It was a start.

"You... hadn't changed a... a bit." He spoke, voice scratching at his throat as your eyes finally met his, his heart was beating loudly on his chest.

It felt like he was in high school again...

"Should I take that as a compliment?"

"I.. I didn't meant to offend you. Apologies." He bowed his head a bit as you sighed, looking at him with wide eyes out of the sudden.

"Oh God what happened to your arms?!" You almost screamed as the kid also seemed to notice.

"Long story... just.. a business that went wrong." He explained with dread as you seemed to relax a but while nodding.

It remained quiet for a bit only for the sound of the clock on the wall until he decided to break the silence.

".. so.. er.." gosh he was horrible with this "how is your life? Any.. uh.. you got the degree you wanted? I remember how you talked about it..."

You sighed with dissapointment as you looked at everywhere but him.

"No. I haven't... but I see you got what you wanted before being arrested though." You muttered and he let out a bitter chuckle.

"Almost.. yeah." He tapped his foot twice until he spotted the kid glaring at him with similiar gold eyes... "Married?"

"No. I thought it would be a distraction while taking care of my son." You spoke abruptly... as you looked at the boy beside you... "Anyway... I need to give you this."

You showed to him a paper before putting on the desk.

"What.. what is this?"

"Is a DNA test." You spoke coldly "To prove that you do have a son."

His eyes widened at that as he looked at the paper... and then to the boy whose was glaring at him not moments ago...

"Wha... but... "

"Remember the day when we split off? Yeah... was the day I discovered."

"W... why didn't you said something?" He asked in oure horror as you giggled in sarcasm.

"For what? This would only trouble you right?" You said with such venom on your voice that he felt a sting to his chest before you breathed in slowly before exhaling "I'm here because I thought you had the right to know... even after ten years.."

He looked at the kid and soon could tell the similarly between him and the boy... you had to raise a child with his face on it alone and he had broken things because of his own selfishness...

"What... what is his name?"

You pondered for a second before sighing, caressing the boy's hair.

"Come on honey... introduce yourself to your dad..." the boy huffed before opening his eyes and looking at him.

"I'm (L/n) Kaiyo. I cant say is very nice to meet you but my mom told me to say it for respect." He almost cringed at the introduction as he saw you looking at him with anger.

"Kaiyo." You warned as the boy scoffed.

"Dont need to scold him. He is not exactly wrong..." he ended up saying while you looked at him.

"I raised Kaiyo to have respect though."

"Why should I have respect towards him in the first place?" He looked at the dark brow haired kid "Not only he abandoned you ma but he is a villain! A very bad one! That girl on the Tv should be the same age if not younger than me!" The boy gritted with a few tears escaping his face.

"Kaiyo please... "

"Incredible..." you and Kaiyo suddenly looked at him "Despite having my features you are just like your mother... I would be proud of it..."

"... I'm not proud of being a villain's son." He muttered while sniffing "You abandoned us. I know ma hadn't said a thing to you but now I do."

You bited on your lips as he looked at loss of words at what he just heard from a child...

"... I know it doesn't change a thing but... I never stopped thinking about... your mother. About you (Y/n)."

"DONT REFER TO MY MOM AS HER FIRST NAME!" Kaiyo banged his fists on the table before you took him in your arms as the boy sobbed "You never cared! You-You-! Grandpa said you called my ma a bother! You are a MURDER!" The kid cried.

"I'm sorry about that..." you mumbled as you cradled the crying boy in your arms "He didn't take well Mr. Nighteye death..."

"M-Ma-! I wanna go home!"

"But Kaiyo, your da-"

"He IS NOT MY DAD!" he cried in you as you sighed as Chisaki seemed to be dying little by little at each second this visit had.

"I'm... going to go. Another day we will visit. Take care, Chisaki." You spoke before he could hear it and he stood up abruptly from his chair.

"No! Wait-!"

The door closed...

.

Months later

.

"Ma look. Hawk's wings are healing." The kid pointed at the news and you smiled.

"That's amazing! We could use some good news!" You chirped as Kaiyo smiled until both of you heard the door bell of your apartment ring.

"Huh. Weird usually grandpa or grandma visits us on-" you opened the door and you almost screamed at the sign of that same green haired kid on your door but now he seemed so... broken...

"Ma'am.. I'm sorry to bother you, but he said he can crash a bit in here... later cops will come to get him. I'm sorry but I need to go." Your son walked and squealed at sign.

"A hero!" Your son smiled brightly at him and for once, Deku had showed a smile for real... until you saw Chisaki leaning bruised to the core resting on the wall next to your door...

"Chisaki..." you breathed out as your son looked at him in shock.

"I'm sorry. Both of you..." he muttered while looking at the storm outside.