churchkey

[churchkey]

Hey anyone who was on the “How to Fuck Off with Con O’Neill” Meet and Greet today, I’m officially coming out as the absolute twat who started by saying “I really have to pee very badly” and then asked that ridiculous question about premonitions so if you think you’d like to be mates with a huge dork like me, hmu I will cling to you

[churchkey]

Are you alright? It's been 3 whole months since your last post. I'm getting worried :(

Aww, thanks for reaching out. Nothing to worry about, just staying busy with offline stuff (new job, projects, etc...) I keep hoping I'll get inspired/available to get back into writing some Winnix for y'all... Maybe once I settle into a rhythm here.

Thanks again for dropping a note, I promise I'm good and still around. Hope you're good too!

[churchkey]

I don't wanna freak anyone out so make sure you're sitting down and also probably swallow whatever you've got in your mouth right now, here it is:

Con O'Neill just referred to marzipan as "the devil's semen".

Facts.

[churchkey]

Now taking prompts/requests for Ouizzy leap day fics (it doesn’t have to be about leap day, that’s just how I’ve decided to observe the holiday). I’m only committing to 1 for next week but might use others in the future if they spark something.

Will consider (almost) anything but my brand is porn with feelings, so

hmu 😎😘

[churchkey]

What if it was Ed who had to watch Izzy fall in love with another man?

And what if that man were the singularly adorable/crafty like ice is cold Frenchie?

And what if this happened in a Friends to Lovers Modern AU, with no real plot other than realizing that the thing you thought you'd wanted all your life is no longer and maybe never was the thing you really want, and accepting change, and letting go of destructive patterns, and other mid-life revelation sort of shit?

.... This is what I'm thinking.

[churchkey]

Well I’ve finished another simple little PWP that evolved into 15k of character study and relationship development I swear I don’t know what’s wrong me either, trust me I’ve tried not being this way….

Anyway, FRENCHIE AND IZZY FALLING IN LOVE AND BEING SWEET AND SOFT, here it is if you want that in your life

And I swear to god the next thing I write will be actual smut. Actual.

[churchkey]

HEY THERE! Do you maybe want to read some fix-it Ouizzy in which they are sweet and tender and also SUPER hot for each other and where you know nothing bad is going to happen to you because it’s me and I wouldn’t do that to you?

Well if the answer is YES then I have a fic for you.

It’s called My Home Is Where He Is (I mean, with a title like that, right?), it’s E for Erotic (but will get more Explicit in Ch 2), here’s a snip:

Izzy wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and gives Frenchie the empty cup. “Do I get my sweet now?” “Sorry, no sweets. But if you’re very good, you’ll get another draught tomorrow.” Are they flirting? Frenchie’s not sure. Their interactions over the past couple of weeks have all been like this. Warm, friendly, but with a strange undertone, like they’re each speaking in their own peculiar code, not yet certain how to decipher the other’s. Do I get my sweet… Was Izzy asking for a kiss? If you’re very good. Do you remember what we did? How you clung to me in the dark? Oh Izzy, please say you remember…

and you can read the rest HERE!! Next installment due out in a week or so, depending on how life treats me over the next few days. Hope you like it! 💜💕💜

[churchkey]

It occurred to me as I was driving to work this morning that Roach and Fang are GD adorable and should be a couple, raise your hand if you’d read that fic

[churchkey]

📢UPDATE📢

It's back to being an elaborate plot-y fix-it (still keeping it E for you beautiful pervs tho), just much more cheerful and romantic and in-your-face love feels than the original rendition. Part I (Frenchie's perspective) will drop in the next week, followed by Part II (Izzy) maybe a week later? Anyway, love to my fellow rare pair Ouizzy shippers, you guys get me 💜

So that elaborate Ouizzy fix it I started writing this week, y'know, the one where Frenchie spends half of it in inconsolable grief and sorrow and the other half trying to train himself not be in love with someone who's dead -

That will now be an elaborate romance/PWP with no real explanation of why and how Izzy is alive and everyone's just gonna go with it, right, because I just can't do grief and sorrow right now ❤️‍🩹

[churchkey]

How many times a day do you think about Frenchie standing behind Izzy with his arms wrapped around izzy's shoulders bc for me it's pretty much constantly 🔥😍😭

[churchkey]

Frenchie calling Izzy a cheeky bitch ❤️‍🔥

[churchkey]

So that elaborate Ouizzy fix it I started writing this week, y'know, the one where Frenchie spends half of it in inconsolable grief and sorrow and the other half trying to train himself not be in love with someone who's dead -

That will now be an elaborate romance/PWP with no real explanation of why and how Izzy is alive and everyone's just gonna go with it, right, because I just can't do grief and sorrow right now ❤️‍🩹

[churchkey]

"You know, I'm starting to think everyone on this show is gay."

- my partner, watching Our Flag Means Death for the first time (right around ep 6)

[churchkey]

[churchkey]

Merry Christmas 🎄! My dearest Churchkey, I wish you a very happy and full-filling new year! May all your wishes come true! Thank you again for all your FANTASTIC FANFICS! ❤️ LOVE ❤️

Aaah thank you so much, what a sweet message! It is my pleasure, thank you for reading and supporting my wild endeavors lol. I wish the same for you, and peace, and love, and beautiful winnix dreams forever 😍

[churchkey]

In case anyone is reading my post-S2 OFMD WIP (updated faithfully on Sundays for 2 more weeks and then it's over, I swear) and wondering if Izzy's sea god boyfriend Fernando is loosely based on or inspired by anyone in particular, the answer is not really, but I just realized I imagine him delivering all his lines in the voice and attitude of the peloton instructor Cody Rigsby.

So anyway, if that sounds at all enticing to you, I invite you to check it out.* It's definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but I've been enjoying writing it.

*but not if you haven't seen S2 yet or just really hate what happened and want to avoid thinking about it, which is totally valid

[churchkey]

Hi! Can I tell you about my favorite show? Okay so it’s called Our Flag Means Death and it’s about this guy named Izzy and he’s a pirate and he works with this other really famous pirate who also happens to be his husband and they’ve been together for like 20 years and it’s been pretty good except lately Izzy’s husband has started acting kind of weird, like he’s suddenly bored and mopey a lot of the time and sometimes he gets this faraway look in his eyes and maybe it’s just a mid-life crisis? But every time Izzy’s like “hey what’s going on with you” he gets all quiet and mysterious, so then Izzy starts to worry like, is it me? Am I not enough for him anymore? Does our life not make him happy? But he’s also kind of annoyed because seriously, what the fuck? Izzy’s been here since the beginning, like when Ed (that’s the husband’s name) was nobody and all they had was each other, and he’s stood by him through all the hard times, supporting him and comforting him and raising their fucking children and it’s like that means NOTHING to Ed, which Izzy just cannot accept. And THEN this fancy fucking whore shows up with his satin waistcoats and frilly cuffs and books and tea and shit and Ed’s so obviously taken in by his gaudy charms it's embarrassing, like he doesn’t even TRY to hide it. But you don’t just give up on a 20-year marriage because your man’s got a wandering eye, so Izzy figures he’ll wait it out and Ed will get over it and things will go back to normal but like�� they don’t. Ever. So this show is basically about a Good and Decent man who never did anything wrong having to watch his husband fall in love with another man and then everyone winds up hating HIM somehow, until he finally decides to just say “fuck it” and be happy for them, and then he SPOILER. 

That’s it, that’s the show.