#ofmd fic

[lookinglass-fic]

It's almost Thanksgiving, so it's time for me to hype THE PHILADELPHIA CHICKEN MAN 💅🔥🦃 (I swear it's actually a Thanksgiving fic). 10k of heartfelt fluff, positive body image, and Ed and Stede falling in love. I promise it's not as absurd as it sounds.

Ed had an idea. It was a little weird, and probably not the best idea for a very well-regarded artist who was at the whim of shareholders and a board, but. If he was going out, he might as well go out with a bang.

He straightened up the stack of flyers, grabbed one of his staple guns out of his workshop drawer, and set out down the street. He started in the immediate radius of the Walmart, tacking flyers up to light posts and bulletin boards.

COME WATCH ME EAT AN ENTIRE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN 3rd NOVEMBER WILL BE THE 40TH CONSECUTIVE DAY THAT I HAVE EATEN AN ENTIRE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN 12 0’CLOCK NOON THE CHICKEN WILL BE CONSUMED ON THAT ABANDONED PIER BY WALMART THIS IS NOT A PARTY

In a fit of boredom (and depression, let's be real) Ed finds himself on an abandoned pier by Walmart, eating a rotisserie chicken every single day. But it turns out after awhile that eating a rotisserie chicken every day can somehow feel like purpose. Cue this kind of adorable blonde guy challenging to eat an entire Thanksgiving turkey. This story started out really dumb and self-indulgent, but turned into 10k of extremely heartfelt fluff, positive body image related to weight gain, and a little bit of belly stuff if you're into that sort of thing. Read it on ao3.

[paleoleigh]

Thinking about how DJenks saying Stede is Stede Bonnet the 15th and how that insinuates his father's name isn't Edward like it was in history, freeing up the potential for Ed to take Stede's last name without it being weird. Which is sweet and fun in its own right, but given ofmd hijinks this means they could maybe use their married names without revealing their identities, like:

One day while the boys are having a nice breakfast in town, someone approaches them, waving a wanted poster.

"Edward Teach. Stede Bonnet. The jig is up!"

Stede sighs. Not really the reaction expected of a pirate on the run with a bounty on his head.

"Not again," he mutters. Looks to his companion. "Do you want to explain this time?"

Their would-be capturer frowns. "Explain what exactly?"

"There's been a misunderstanding," Ed provides, "I'm Edward Bonnet. He's Stede Teach."

"Common misconception," Stede Teach chimes in.

"Unfortunate coincidence," Edward Bonnet adds.

"So....you're not pirates?"

"Christ, no. Innkeepers."

"We own the Mermaid." Stede takes a lazy sip of his tea, completely unbothered by the intrusion. "Near the beach."

"Oh. Well. That's alright then."

[quaintlyfig]

My Whippoorwill boys happy and together again! Stede is feeding Ed cheezits, and they are absolutely, desperately, blissfully in love 🧡

Artwork by the amazing, incredible, wonderful, delightful @smolbus!!! Thank you!! This makes my heart so happy!

Story: "Hear That Lonesome Whippoorwill" (rated E) https://archiveofourown.org/works/58030276/chapters/147737638

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

It's good, is the thing.

Now, it's not perfect. Ed doesn't think they could ever be perfect. They have stupid little bickering arguments that really boil down to being scared the good life is maybe too good to last. Stede fell through the roof twice as they were getting it patched. They have to buy fish down at the port market, still, and Ed's getting a bit closer to admitting that maybe he's just a bit fucking shit at fishing.

But it's good, and it had scared Ed, at first, that Stede still hasn't said it yet.

Stede doesn't need to use his mouth to say I love you. It's in the tea he makes Ed with breakfast, perfectly sweetened each time. It's in the socks he's learning to knit and the rack for Ed's fishing rod he made to keep next to the door. It's in the fancy orange-flavored lube that he still won't say how much he paid for. It's in are you cold and did you have enough to eat and do you want more and need a cuddle? and a thousand other little things.

Ed's pretty sure he knows the reason that he tells Stede he loves him all the damn time but Stede never says it back. All boils down to don't and you don't get to say that to me, doesn't it?

Stede doesn't think he's allowed to say it back. Ed's dropped hints, long silences after he says it where Stede just smiles and loves him and doesn't say it. And maybe a part of Ed, sure, is still a bit worried. That Stede won't say it back at all, that he'll change his mind, that Ed's just opening himself to get hurt all over again.

Ed wasn't ready to hear Stede say it, not back when they found each other again. But maybe he's ready now.

He works up the courage at the end of a rough day. They've been painting the room that will become their library (it's got three books in it, now!), and they'd gotten pissed at each other when they realized someone had forgotten to seal up the patched section of roof in that room, and most of their work got ruined when it rained the night before. Stede had been moping, and Ed had been sulking, and Stede had still made sure that Ed got enough to eat at dinner.

Ed walks out onto the porch and plops right down next to Stede where he's sitting on the front porch steps, resting his chin on his knees. "Hey."

"Hey," Stede says, his tone still a bit curt.

"Sorry about the roof."

"Yeah, me, too."

"We don't know that it was you who fucked up sealing it," Ed reminded him.

"We don't know that it was you, either."

Ed sighs, leans over, rests his forehead against Stede's shoulder. "I love you."

"I know you do, Ed," Stede says, dropping a kiss to Ed's forehead.

And Ed decides to be brave. Even on the harder days, where they get on each other's nerves. Because Stede isn't going to leave him. "I think I'm ready," he says, softly.

Stede tilts his head, blinks, frowns. "Ready...?"

"For..." Ed takes a deep breath, lets it out. "You can say it back. If you want. I know you mean it. You get to say that to me, Stede, that's what I'm saying."

Stede blinks at him, and then his entire fucking face just lights up as he takes Ed's face in his hands, Ed immediately bringing his own hands up to hold him there.

"Ed Teach," Stede declares, "I love you."

Maybe, Ed had expected something flowery. I love you as deeply as anyone's ever loved anything, and I know we're bound to each other as surely as the moon tugs on the sea. But the simplicity of it makes it impossible to ignore the underlying truth of it. They are in love. He loves Stede, and Stede loves him. And that's the point of it all. They are in love, and they will remain in love.

"Yeah," Ed says, "I know. I know you do."

[ofmd-ann]

I recently won a fic commission in the "Our Flag Means Pride" charity raffle by @adoptourcrew

Thank you to the hugely talented @ferventrabbit for donating her time and skills to writing this gorgeous piece for me 👏🔥 Go read it!

Thank you to Fidi @fidisart as well for the art that inspired it 💕 (give that some love too, linked below!)

Rating: E Summary: Ed notices Stede looking at him more than usual, leaving them both a bit hot and bothered. He proposes a failsafe plan to give them both a reset. What could go wrong? Set sometime between 2x05 and 2x06

[ofmdaction]

🇵🇸 OFMD Gotcha for Gaza Fundraiser 🇵🇸

Welcome to the OFMD Gotcha for Gaza Fundraiser!

This is a fundraising event to raise money for the people of Gaza in exchange for Our Flag Means Death fanworks. This event is not officially associated with Our Flag Means Death - it's a fan-run project and made possible by volunteer fan creators.

How it works:

Artists and writers can sign up as volunteers to fill prompts submitted by donors. Donors can submit prompts after showing proof of donation (at least $4USD for SFW and $8USD for NSFW art/fics) via screenshots.

Timeline:

Artist/Writer Sign-Ups: June 17 - July 8 Donation Period: July 9 - August 9 Prompt Completion: by October 9

Carrd | Twitter | AO3 Collection | Daily Click for UNRWA

[clairegregoryau]

‘Never,’ Stede says, before diving back into kissing Ed while saying, directly into his mouth, ‘Anything you want, Ed, I’m going to give it to you, I will do anything to give it to you, all you have to do is ask and I will -’ Ed’s losing his mind with Stede’s words, he had no idea he could love someone the way he loves Stede, like he’s the Earth and Stede’s the sky, and together they’re fucking, fucking turning colours like the Aurora because Stede lights him up so - he wraps one leg around Stede’s, tries to get closer, as Stede unties his robe, slides his hands up Ed’s naked chest, drapes the robe around them -  Stede suddenly grabs him under the thighs and fucking lifts him up the wall; Ed, shocked, wraps his legs around Stede’s waist and hangs on for dear life as Stede mouths down his neck and onto his chest, digging his fingers into the meat of Ed’s legs. Ed throws his head back, panting, and when Stede grazes his nipple, he makes a yowling noise that he distantly hopes Anne and Mary will mistake for cats fucking in the garden. 

I'm so in love with @veeagainsttheday's spectacular fic Seabird, set during WWII as civilian pilot Stede and his crew are sent on an unintended round-the-world voyage by circumstances beyond their control. Chapter Three had THE most swoon-worthy romantic moment, and I had to do some art for it! ‘This doesn’t feel like a fucking sandcastle to me,’ Ed says.

I mean! Absolutely peak gorgeousness- I very highly recommend.

[becausethenightzine]

And we are live! Pre-orders will be open until June 15. All proceeds will be donated to to Médecins Sans Frontières/Doctors Without Borders.

Order now!

[blakbonnet]

Go and read Moonstone Mage Championship [350k+, Rated E, Complete] for Ed and Stede playing strip scrabble, using marmalade for non food reasons, and being utterly in love with each other ♥️

Adding the map of the world here so that I can link over on ao3

[haflacky]

Blackbonnet edging

kinktober request

Full on my Patreon

[bizarrelittlemew]

going down (with the ship)

[ explicit, s1e4 canon-divergent, Ed/Stede, ao3 ]

"It's September 1st, boss." "What's that, mate?" "It's September the 1st." "Dickfuck, no it's not."

Turns out it is. Dickfucking damnit.

And now Ed is lying spread out on the sofa in the captain's cabin, drinking brandy straight from the bottle and waiting for the sea to take him. At least it's some damn smooth brandy. All things considered, not the worst thing to be the last thing to taste on this Earth.

Unless—

Well. Ever since seeing him naked when they switched clothes earlier, Ed had kinda started to hope that he'd get a taste of Stede Bonnet at some point. Hadn't planned on bringing it up this early, though. He hasn't even had time to plan how he'd go about that. And he likes a good plan.

But plans have already betrayed him tonight, and if they're going down with the ship anyway, what's the harm in asking?

Now he just needs a smooth opener.

"Have you ever tried fellatio?"

Or, like, dive right in.

Stede looks up. Looks somewhere between surprised, bemused, and curious, but not horrified. That's something.

"You mean sucking dick?"

"Whuh—" Ed nearly chokes on that, like he'd like to choke on—anyway, he clears his throat. Did not expect that from this fancy man. Promising, though. "I mean, yeah. Yep. Or like, getting your dick sucked."

"Can't say I have, no. Unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?"

"Unfortunately."

They let that hang in the air for a bit, just looking at each other.

"Well... uhm. Do you wanna?" Real smooth, Teach.

Stede's lips curl into a slightly nervous but mostly excited smile.

"I guess there's no time like the present."

"Not much time at all, mate."

And the nervousness completely dissipates, replaced by sheer eagerness as Stede nearly trips over himself in his haste to get out of his arm chair, falls to the floor, walks on his knees to Ed's side, and starts unbuttoning the fall front on his breeches before Ed can catch up to what is happening.

"Wow, hey, I meant—you know what, never mind." Ed is not going to protest if Stede really wants to suck his dick, even if he imagined it the other way around, and damn, it seems that Stede really, really wants to suck his dick. He wonders if all fancy, rich lads are this hungry for cock. Maybe that's why they're like that.

Maybe not. Ed gets a feeling that Stede is different.

Different from anyone else who has ever touched Ed's dick before, too, and oh god, Stede is touching—licking his dick, sucking the head into his mouth and moaning, going at it as if Ed's cock contains the secret that might save them all if only Stede can suck it out.

Ed groans and buries his fingers into Stede's hair just as he starts bobbing his head, making up for any lack of finesse with pure enthusiasm, and okay, Ed is more than a bit bitter about this being his last night alive, because if this is Stede's baseline, Ed would've liked to be along for the ride while Stede developed his skill to its full potential.

Too bad that it will all be ending too soon—their lives, and the glorious experience of stuffing Stede's face full of his cock, because the way Stede closes his eyes and sucks around him is rapidly drawing Ed closer to the edge.

He only just manages to warn Stede before he comes, tries tugging at his hair to let him know he might want to pull off, but Stede just hums with encouragement and takes him deeper.

If this is to be his last orgasm, he might have found peace with his fate.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Ed slumps, staring up at the ceiling, then takes a swig of the bottle still in the hand he isn't using to pet Stede's head. He is just about ready for the sea to swallow him up like Stede just swallowed him down.

And yet.

Ed got a good look at Stede's equipment earlier, and he's still determined to get the close-up experience. Also, there is a sizeable bulge at the front of Stede's—Ed's—pants, and if Stede comes in his leathers, it will sort of suck to clean them up later. In case there is a 'later', if they somehow miraculously escape this.

"Alright, c'mere." Ed pats his chest.

"What?"

"Come up here, fuck my face."

"Are you—what?" Stede looks like one big question mark, but despite that, he is already climbing onto the sofa above Ed, knees on either side of his shoulders.

"C'mon, we don't have much time."

Stede opens the fall front, letting his cock spring free. Ed licks his lips.

"Maybe I can choke to death on cock before the Spanish get me."

"Let's try to avoid that, shall we?"

Ed is not sure he agrees, and shows it by grabbing Stede's hips and shoving him forward, taking in as much as he can of it in one go, which turns out to be half of it. Stede's yelp turns into a groan, and he quickly gets the picture, soon thrusting into Ed's mouth with rough abandon. He turns out to be even more of a natural at face-fucking than cock-sucking.

Yup, this is a much better last thing to taste (and fill his throat). Only surpassed by the last last thing, the taste of Stede as he coats his tongue with come. Ed doesn't even get emotional over the sweet things Stede babbles as he comes, all while stroking Ed's cheek with his thumb.

Okay, maybe he gets a little emotional. Mostly sad that he doesn't have time to do this, like, five hundred times more. At least.

As Stede sits heavily on Ed's chest, catching his breath, still mumbling something, Ed blinks and turns his head to the side. Catches sight of the thing Stede had been sitting with in the chair, the thing he dropped in his rush to get on his knees by Ed's side.

"What's that painting?"

[follows-the-bees]

Ed wakes up first every morning during the early hours when the sun is just cresting the horizon. Most nights Stede and he slightly drift apart, the hot Caribbean temperatures too much for constant full contact. But Ed loves waking up to see which part of Stede will still be stretched out and touching him.

This morning it's both an ankle and a hand. Stede's placed his foot over Ed's, like an anchor, but instead of making Ed sink, it keeps him from floating away.

Stede's fingers have looped around the twine tied around Ed's wrist. Only a month ago, Stede had presented the twine around a bouquet of flowers; he had kept it in his pocket for months after their first time together. Ed added it in a moment of panic, trying to give the tray a flourish, and Stede kept it with him. It was such a small thing, not a fine silk or piece of lace, but Stede treated it like it's the most precious thing in the world.

They both have it wrapped around their wrists now, little reminders of their love for each other.

Ed slides forward and kisses Stede on the nose. He gets exactly what he was hoping for, a small scrunch and defining of the lines around Stede's closed eyes, his dimple appearing. Ed kisses that too. Stede lets out a sigh and his hand tightens slightly on Ed's wrist.

It will be an hour or so till Stede gets up, so Ed settles back down and lets sleep take him under again. He's still getting used to being safe, of not having to be on guard at all times. But with Stede by his side, he feels peace for the first time in — forever.

He knows when he wakes up Stede will greet him with the normal wake up routine. A kiss to his temple, the scars on his belly, a small peck on his lips where it once was split. And then Stede will nuzzle in, tucking his face into Ed's neck, slightly tickling him, while he holds him close, pressing kisses into his skin until they become permanent.

[thehumanooblec]

someone please write a fic about Izzy rowing off to Jackie’s but instead of plotting revenge she drags his sopping wet pathetic ass into marriage and he becomes one of her new husbands and thrives

please and thank you

(based off this specific photo)

[quaintlyfig]

"Deep Sea Wreck" - Artwork by @inkirtis

I was lucky enough to commission Inkirtis to create the album cover that Stede makes for Ed's album my fic "Deep Sea Wreck." It is absolutely gorgeous, and I am head over heels in love with it!!

Thank you so, so much, Inkirtis!!! They are beautiful!! 😍🐙🌊🧜

Fic link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55449025

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

World-famous rockstar Ed Teach is pulled out of a near-death experience by a vision of someone saving him. Stede Bonnet has had dreams of saving someone from drowning for as long as he can remember. When the two of them are finally pushed into standing up for themselves and they don't get the reactions they'd expected, they meet each other as they're trying to run away from everything. They decide to pretend to be boyfriends as Ed agrees to teach Stede all about gay culture, Stede agrees to teach Ed how to be a good person, and together, they learn that there was never much to learn in the first place.

Spoiler alert: Ed is already a good person, Stede doesn't need help with being gay, and they're going to help each other feel more at home with themselves than ever before. Rated M for now but will change to E in later chapters!

[epersonae]

five fic friday

let's go with comfort fics today, huh?

nothing could touch it (G, 1411) by @asneakyfox - HOW HAVE I NOT RECOMMENDED THIS BEFORE, a masterpiece of Ed POV immediately after Izzy's death, the subtlety and nuance in such a short piece!

After the Storm (T, 2964) by @oatmilktruther - my note in my existing bookmark says "For when it's hard" and yeah. Modern AU Ed coming out of a depression.

Our Little Secret (M, 5865) by @piratecaptainscaptainpirates - yes, I have a soft spot for this flavor of oblivious mutual pining, and something about how this handles (knee) surgery and recovery was very healing for me personally.

Warmth In a One-Night Bed (T, 2923) by @chaotic-neutral-knitter - just a very tender Ed POV missing scene set at the end of 2x4.

Rinse and Repeat (E, 106K) by @theyellowestmustard - so you need something long to cope? this'll do it; a sweet funny modern AU where they're both hair stylists. I read this originally as it was first posted and maybe I'll go reread it this weekend.