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A lot of Lucanis's banters and sometimes responses to dialogue really centre around "When I was a boy" and it reads to me as home sickness, as a fondness for a simpler time? I don't think pre-ossuary Lucanis would have talked about his childhood nearly as much.

It feels like in some ways he's reaching for comfort, a connection to a version of himself who maybe was happier- who hadn't known the ossuary, who hadn't yet become an abomination. Like in the aftermath of all that trauma the things he can reach for to soothe himself are wyverns, the smell of coffee in the kitchen, helping out in the kitchen, and memories of time spent with his family.

Taking care of the team and sharing these parts of himself are in a way also him taking care of himself.

Sure, in some ways, we can never really go home once we've changed like that. But we also carry the versions of ourselves who knew home with us too. Coming home is just as much about coming back to yourself.

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aphobia vs slut shaming and they've been doing it like this all their lives

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Rook is probably the only one Spite will listen to about bedtime. (I also keep thinking about bedhead Lucanis)

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Whatever you do don't think about post saving Treviso pre Inner Demons Lucanis getting hurt and Rook realising and worrying and offering to go get Emmrich or Bellara to help but Lucanis stops them because he doesn't want anyone else touching his blood after the Ossuary. 'It's going to hurt a lot more if I do it' 'I know. I can take it.'

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"There I was, so covered in prickle-burrs I stuck to everything I touched. Lucanis was nothing but mud from the ears down. Catarina just stared speechless." — 'The Wake', Mary Kirby

I love two (2) disaster cousins.

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This conversation between Lucanis and Emmrich....

I just know that some tiny part of him held hope that Emmrich would say yes even though he already knew what the answer would actually be.

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speaking of illario

i know a while back we were all tossing ideas around about actual hobbies this man could have if he ever got to be normal for 5 minutes

my suggestion: art. mostly sketches, but also throw some painting in there when he's in the mood.

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Ok but do you see my vision

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If I could actually draw well, just know I'd be drawing Teia and Illario busting down the door to Lucanis' study going "You two are having sex!" while Rook puts her book down and goes, "We are? Lucanis why didn't you tell me?" in the most deadpan sarcastic voice ever. Meanwhile Lucanis is lying down with his head in Rook's lap and not even making a token motion to reach for his weapons like he would before because the man is blissed the fuck out from Rook running her fingers through his hair with her free hand while she reads aloud from the official Mourn Watch guide to all 376 species of carnivorous beetles and how to identify them.

It's just very important to me that those two are incredibly domestic but also super weird at the same time. They're very much a "sex is great and all but have you had a quiet night talking with your lover about anything and everything before falling asleep in each other's arms" sort of couple.

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I'm pretty sure this is an unpopular opinion, but the "lack" of content in Lucanis's romance makes complete sense to me. Honestly I never saw it as lacking at all. I can understand why some people do and of course it would've been great to have more content, but to me, there is narrative sense to the way his romance is written.

Just looking at the last year or so of his life, Lucanis has been imprisoned, tortured, and to top it all off, possessed. He is sharing his body with a demon and constantly fighting to make sure he keeps control. And when he finally comes back home? Immediately finds out his grandmother is supposedly dead, and for all intents & purposes, it's in retaliation for HIS jailbreak. Already he is picking up broken pieces of his old life and cutting himself on them. It's no state to be jumping into a relationship from.

I've said before - and there's plenty of dialogue from him supporting it - that Lucanis spends most of the game trying to pretend he can go back to his old life; that he can be the person he used to be.

"I thought I still had this."

"Whatever else I am, I'm supposed to be a professional."

"I don't fail my contracts."

All of these things add and add to his turmoil until it's set to topple right at the start of the "Inner Demons" quest. He finds out his grandmother is alive! He should be happy! Instead he's caught in emotional upheaval, overwhelmed by everything he's been pushing off, and he has to make a decision, he has to keep going, he has to has to has to. And he can't. To the point that Spite has to intervene and say the one thing Lucanis won't.

"Help us."

And then, after getting to Lucanis, Rook literally tells us the man's struggle outright.

"As bad as the Ossuary was for you, it was better than the alternative. [...] You could solve those problems with a blade, but healing again? [...] There's no simple answer there. And if you fail, you could hurt the ones you love."

Lucanis was raised in violence. He still has a good heart in many ways, but that doesn't change the fact that he was more than likely never taught the emotional skills needed to navigate his problems any other way than with a knife. Which means that for 90% of the game, he is not ready to open his heart to someone. Even the 'almost kiss' scene is Lucanis attempting to replicate some of who he was, until something in him realizes that kissing Rook wouldn't be a one and done situation. No no, he wants them. And the minute that hits, he pulls away again, until the time comes in the endgame that he realizes losing Rook forever is scarier than never making the attempt to be together.

TLDR; Lucanis is a traumatized slow burn with one hell of a payoff in the end, you just gotta be patient with him.

P.S. - Once again, this is just my opinion, you are free to agree or disagree as you'd like; this is just based on my own experience with his romance.

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When Catarina isn't home. Tell me I'm wrong.

(Big-birding down the door with... whatever this cursed nonsense is. I love these two.)

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and she might not be wrong :'D

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Bed heads

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Lucanis: Sometimes, a unique pleasure should be just that.

Rook: That sounds like the voice of experience.

Illario: *from the roof* IT’S NOT!

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Don’t mind me just thinking about the fact that it’s Rook’s voice that pulls Lucanis back when Spite wants to go through the Eluvian.

And then we get these from Spite:

“He’ll listen. He always listens to you.”

“We had. A deal. He’ll listen. To you.”

And this from Lucanis:

“Would you talk to me? Your voice is a comfort.”

That man is clinging to every word Rook says at all times. Always listening to their bad puns, listening to them yap late at night in the dining hall over drinks and desert and getting lost in the sound of their voice and the way their laugh fills up the room with warmth. Rook’s voice is a tether for Lucanis to keep him sane and grounded when it all becomes too much.

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I like to believe that Rook and Spite share the same horrible sense of humor. Like they're discussing going with Lucanis to infiltrate some rich noble's ball, and Lucanis hears (so close they almost overlap):

"Ooo, you can bring your fancy knives!"

"We should. Bring our. Fancy knives!"

Rook is oblivious, of course, but Spite is pointing at Rook and shouting, "Rook! Is! My Favorite!"

And Lucanis looks to the heavens for strength because, dear Maker, hasn't he suffered enough?