vampcaprisun

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ty, astarion, for failing every fucking arcana check possible here to make this amazing comedy bit

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i wore an astarion girl dinner shirt to meet neil newbon at nycc and right before they took the picture he said “dinner is most definitely served, darling!”

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wyll ravengard is such a silly boy because he stands there going "euugh dont look at me... im a hideous MONSTER....." with a platinum face card. they bullied him for being too pretty

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wyll canonically not knowing if someone is flirting with him and astarion canonically finding him attractive is my fucking bread and butter okay i need fics of astarion falling deeply in love with wyll and dropping hints and wyll just being so obtuse like “aw, he called me handsome and said he feels safe around me and he’d like to get to know me more how nice of him he’s really coming out of his shell :D,” and just merrily going about his day like normal and not taking a hint

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No one hurt Scratch ☠️

it wasn't a smart move to threaten animals in front of a druid Bhaalspawn...

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every time someone says “mystra didn’t groom gale” an angel fucking explodes

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whenever i see "astarion shouldn't have had a sex scene in act 3" stuff i feel like i'm gonna rip my hair out like dude do u have any idea what it feels like to enjoy sex again after years of feeling like it was ruined for you forever

it's fucking rapturous.

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Orin baldursgate is conceptually the funniest character of all time on account of simultaneously being a changeling whose whole thing is SHE COULD BE ANYONE AT ANY TIME who also she cannot refrain for more than 45 seconds from monologuing about getting into someone’s thoracic cavity with her teeth and lovingly tearing all the heart-muscle to pearly pink ribbons

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So sick of dog motif what about cat motif.

I love you but we don't love the same. I can't be near you when you want me to be. Your love is smothering and your need to keep me safe is trapping me. I'm my own person but I don't know how to show you that. I lash out and hurt you even though I don't mean to. I need you to move slowly around me or I'll bolt. I love you, even though I don't say it. If you stay still I'll sit next to you, and even though we don't understand each other we can be together like that.

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finished my second bg3 run and was wondering if withers just goes back to sleep again after he verbally smites the dead three

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silly sketch, inspired by one Astarion’s banter with Lae’zel

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man, gale is just not having a good time in ren’s playthrough.

he was in the party when ren fought ketheric, and when they got to the mind flayer colony and tried to free zevlor, one of the mindflayers they also released wailed on him until he was dead. all their scrolls of revivify were already used up by then, so they had to just leave him there and go into the final fight with a three person party. obviously the first thing they did after was run to withers and ask to have gale brought back to life, but still, he was dead for a a pretty long time — definitely a lot longer than anyone else who’s died in ren’s party so far.

and then they get to baldur’s gate…and guess who orin kidnaps. the poor guy just can’t seem to catch a break.

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Tara checking on Gale during during an "episode" with the orb. I can't do backgrounds, but this is how I pictured Gale in his study in the latest chapter of my fic.

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Scene I can't put into my fic #5748574: Hiraeth bullying the elderly

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big fan of characters who have it all under control when theyre put in situations but no idea how to be like a regular guy doing regular stuff when all is said and done.

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Listening to fun cunty pop music in an attempt to feel better doesn't necessarily always work but if nothing else you can realize how fucking funny a situation you're in when you're sitting there with a thousand yard stare while your headphones are like H O T T O G O YOUU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO 💃 and once again absurdism wins