#a reprieve from thought

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

BTS from A Reprieve From Thought :DDD

Fic Specific Asks!

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from [that fic]

sorry this took ages, I forgot about it in my drafts 😅

so first of all I think it’s worth noting that this is in a general darklina doc titled this lol

for my other BTS fic thing I read through the entire fic and made comments through out so I’ll just do the same thing here. it’s uh pretty short PWP so let’s see how this goes…

minor thing but a few people have read this as a continuation of the canon scene set in his cabin and that’s not actually the case! with the set up I was trying to establish that it’s more of a missing scene during the rest of time they’re hunting the sea whip

also him not looking up is not entirely a power play lol he’s just a nerd

this I was trying to mimic the book vibe where extended descriptions of the Darkling just make it feel like she’s staring at him for a very long time.

I was thinking he’s poring over one of the journals

so a couple things, I always interpret the Darkling as uniquely and uh tbh sexually fixated on the amplifiers on Alina and like what they represent. he’s just really weird about it!!

anyway I also just forever find the implication that he doesn’t need an amplifier, but his power only makes things fucking worse really interesting? all that power and it’s completely useless! I think he’s definitely bitter about it.

anyway the first book also makes it really clear that she does not have fuck off insane power like him? to the point where I also doubt she would turn out to be immortal tbh! I find the implication that he’s basically manufacturing an immortal companion for himself really fascinating. lbeyond the baseline of having a very unique power, their experiences probably would not be similar at all but he’s just that desperate for them to be.

mostly self explanatory, but generally there’s not much room in the canon book for her to feel much betrayal? or sort out whatever burgeoning feelings she may have had for him before things imploded dramatically. I think in reality it’s just a writing issue sjfjfkhg but you could read it as her refusing to really view anything that’s happened through an emotional lens.

so this is some unacknowledged and unwanted hurt coming to the foreground. like “so you did like me a little 🥺”

and also that annoys her! which is why she’s more like “lololol you’re attracted to me? embarrassing! aren’t you embarrassed!” which is the trajectory that leads to her kissing him first.

SO while she is playing a very immediate petty game, he experienced a mental record scratch and went straight to omgomgomg *soulmates*

I think he is being sincere with her here. he’s just like are you finally ready to abandon your petty qualms and obey me without question and come back to my side??

I think he’s a very emotionally starved and obsessive character and simultaneously hardcore resents her for both bringing this out in him but also that she doesn’t meet his predetermined idea of what the object of his obsession (the fated sun summoner and his like immortal companion) should be like.

and Alina’s just like ………..huh?

I’m not going to screencap the entirety of the making out portion but shdhfgf I’ll be real with you, anon, I get so tired of describing the physicality of like kissing or sex. I literally got so bored I repurposed some descriptions from another fic for another ship I wrote ages ago and altered it to fit this scenario. I don’t think any of the original text is at all recognizable/there’s barely any left tbh after editing but I did need the jumping off point in order to not just be like “uh… kissing… more kissing?”

so this starts an entire bit where he’s nagging at her lmao and she’s mostly… not cool with it really but willing to play along if he gets her off dhfjffg but then he’s like “you betrayed me” and she’s like “okay hold the fuck up who made who massacre an entire city of civilians???”

anyway, more minor note at the time of writing, and still currently, I felt like the dialogue line about mentioning silken sheets was more my own writing style bleeding through rather than like perfectly IC word choices but I ran with it because I liked it lol

lol he takes any excuse to power trip. I mean he does already make her beg in canon 🤷‍♀️

she’s ready to go with it a little for role play/kink purposes but he’s pushing it lol.

sorry she’s going to have a fucking crisis (lol literally) after this!!!! I don’t think the actual plot trajectory would change much though. she’s probably going to feel worse, he’s going to be speaking in even more insane double entendres. but that’s about it!

[sometimesanequine]

12.20.2023

[sangcreole]

no but I do think Louis actually experienced severe separation anxiety with Lestat for a period of time post-Merrick to the point that it probably harmed their relationship :/

[eerna]

for some reason I thought Juniper & Thorn was some kind of a YA fairy tale retelling

[mxtxfanatic]

Your thoughts on MDZS are refreshing and enjoyable. The many times I had to retrieve my eyes because they rolled so hard out of my head due to lack of reading comprehension I see on posts about the book. Nopeing out of stories due to the character assassination of WWX and LWJ. Thank you for the many essays on my favorite subject. Sorry about the like spamming. Some people have issues with it. I was just 😊.

Nothing to be sorry for, I love when people binge through my blog because it means that my essays are still relevant and people enjoy them 🥺

[sarah-dipitous]

After discovering the kittens last night, I had a dream that I woke up today to just…an entire cat colony outside my door expecting food 🤦‍♀️

[piratesexmachine420]

I hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer i hate summer

[juuheizou]

Hello there!! Hope you're doing good! I love your writing for juuzou and mutsuki so i wanted to ask two ir more questions,,, 1.what would make juuzou genuinely upset/angry in an relationship and how does he act when he's angry/upset? and 2.what is something that would bring juuzou to tears and how does he's particularly sad? would he cry in front of anyone? how does he accept help and comforting? Ty in advance!!💕

Hello! You have no idea (well, you might once you read the full paragraphs below haha) how excited I was to answer your very important, deliciously angsty questions! Honestly I've been wanting to write some Suzuya hurt/comfort for aaaages, because I definitely see both of them having their moments though I know I tend to actually post my writings of one side more than the other. I hope I provided the insight into the inner workings of Suzuya Juuzou that you're looking for, anon!

1.what would make juuzou genuinely upset/angry in an relationship and how does he act when he's angry/upset?

Although we see him become a much more forgiving person in :RE itself and I say this as someone who adores him as a character, a lot of things make him angry. He is the type to have big anger over small missteps, especially those that make him feel like the offender is judging him. Little things that could come with good intentions from a partner, like messing with his doom piles, commenting on his snack choices, or trying to tuck in his shirt that he left untucked on purpose will flip his anger switch just as much as something truly heinous. As far as how he acts, he doesn't get mad. His eye might twitch or he might get a little more fidgety than usual when something upsets him, but for the most part, he just gets even. Now, getting even isn't always crashing someone's shiny new motorcycle or getting violent. It can be as quick and easy as making a hurtful remark back at the person who can't believe he's unwrapping a piece of candy before dinner or hiding something precious to the partner who messed up a pile that he had organized his way and seeing how they like it. He might have come a long way and forgiven Big Madam of all people, and he might actually let some slights against him go once he's had a chance to cool down, but he still holds grudges sometimes and can easily relapse into the vengeful soul he was before. Mutsuki's accepting nature protects him from this side of Suzuya a lot of the time because he doesn't try to fix or change people no matter how different they are from him. He even respects people who are disrespectful to him, but early in their relationship he probably did earn Suzuya's vengeance a couple of small, petty times just wanting to help with things he didn't completely understand. The first time, he apologizes and just takes whatever petty revenge Suzuya throws at him. The second time, the revenge is less petty and he's grown a little more assertive so he doesn't accept it and he's like "that was mean. Why did you do that?" Actually thinking about it instead of just acting makes Suzuya realize he cares about Mutsuki more than cares about making him pay for the initial offense, so they end up talking it out and from then on, Suzuya is better at asking himself if his first impulse is worth potentially hurting Mutsuki before he does whatever act of revenge he had in mind. The answer is just about always no. Gods help whoever makes him angry by hurting Mutsuki in any way, though.

2.what is something that would bring juuzou to tears and how does he's particularly sad? would he cry in front of anyone? how does he accept help and comforting?

Suzuya doesn't cry often, and he's more likely to cry from overwhelm than from sadness. He's more listless and may shut down in situations where others who express themselves differently might cry. Going quiet, staring off into space, not getting out of bed, vacantly trying to roll snacks towards his mouth so he moves as little as possible while comfort-eating, that's how you know he's sad. He would cry in front of anyone and everyone, because if he's at that point, he's beyond controlling his reaction to whatever drove him to tears. As we saw in the Owl Suppression Operation, if something strikes the right chord to make him cry, it's messy and out of control. Screaming in anguish, hammering fists on his surroundings, destroying things or hurting himself, curling up into a ball, it's a tempestuous fit to release the overload of whatever brought him to that point in any way he can. Considering his junior partner doubles as a personal care aide, he's actually pretty good at accepting practical help. Comfort, on the other hand, he often doesn't think to seek in other people. It's not that he doesn't want or need that sometimes, but very rarely does he recognize what he's feeling enough for the idea to occur to him. He's more likely to find distractions on his own until either the sadness passes or he can't handle it alone anymore. He's a hard person to read even for people who devote themselves to offering him their support, and often the first sign that he's in need of comforting is when Shinohara, Hanbee, Mutsuki, or someone close enough to have the opportunity finds him heavily self-soothing to comfort himself. Unless there is self-injury or damaging stuff involved, there's often no way to know if what he's doing is working and he just needs space to let it work or not except letting him know you're there and giving him the chance to do what he will with that information. Most of the time, Suzuya will eventually stagger to wherever Mutsuki is and wait quietly to be invited in for healing hugs, usually taking his sadness ball of blankets/plushies/etc with him, plus or minus venting to him about what's wrong.

[haruichi-mamiya]

everyone always talking about how this was more of a naledi/lin route (which it is) but nobody talking about how this is more of a clarence friendship route if you don't choose the epilogue where you're both in love now ig

[blindmagdalena]

How often do you think Homelander goes to space? Do you think he sees Space with a certain admiration and love than Earth?

RUBS MY LIL HANDS TOGETHER.

so, i don't know if he doesn't need to breathe, or if he can just hold his breath for an insanely long time, but i am CAPTIVATED by the idea of Homelander spending his free time in space, exploring an expanse beyond humanity, where he can find a sense of peace and true silence. one he could never find on earth, thanks to his super senses. i think about what it might have felt like the first time he was up there, far enough from the earth that he could hold out his hand and pretend he held it in his palm. about Homelander's relationship to god and worship. about him seeing a cluster like the pillars of creation and extending his own hand to mimic the shape of it. if space is the graveyard of god, does that make this the true place of his birth? he, the god that man created in place of the one that abandoned them? ultimately though, i don't think Homelander would spend a lot of time out in space. i think eventually that expansive emptiness and silence would begin to get to him. his thoughts would eat themselves like an ouroboros, and he would fly as fast as he could back to earth. he would wipe himself of cold stardust and seek warmth wherever he could. the quiet of it all had started to ring so loud in his ears that he's glad for the symphony of eight billion beating hearts.

[infestedslime]

I am on. Meso m4 radshare number 16 and I have still not gotten the massetter blade.

[meliake]

One of the saddest things about mlb to me is how Marinette and Adrien are affected by their positions as Ladybug and Chat Noir in vastly different ways.

For Marinette, being Ladybug is such a source of stress and pressure she's destroying herself from the inside, constantly worrying over if every decision she makes is best for the city. She's 14 and unable to cope with the stress that comes with patrolling the city every day, or deciding who is trustworthy enough to hold a miraculous. Every move that backfires is immediatly her own fault and her own responsibility. That's her main conflict with her identity throughout the series.

Adrien is the opposite. While being Chat Noir can still be a source of stress, it's more like his get out of jail free card. He gets to leave his house and just exist in an environment absent of rules and restrictions. Everyday he chooses to become Chat Noir because between being Adrien and Chat, it's an easy choice. He walks on eggshells constantly in an attempt to not be pulled out of school or anything more extreme and isolating. (ie being locked in a gridded prison cell in season 5) Adrien is so caught up in trying to appease his father in his civilian life he's unable to actually live. He chooses risking his life over and over as Chat instead of never really living a life at all.

[eenochian]

genuinely why is it so hard to do anything (even things you love) when you realize you’re slipping into another depressive spiral

[alienaiver]

its almost midnight and im overwhelmed by love for my friends.......... i want to hug them all. they make me brave

[whentherewerebicycles]

yeah I know it looks a bit patchy lol parts of it are still wet!! I did so many touch-ups by hand I should’ve just done a second coat but whatever. I find hand-painting less annoying and messy than rolling anyway. we’ll see how it looks after it dries overnight—I’ve used a lighter version of this paint brand before and the next-day touch ups blended in really well, but I’m not sure if the darker color will dry the same way. anyway fingers crossed it all dries smoothly and I don’t have to buy more paint 🥴

more thoughts: the ugly tile looks significantly less offensive with the paint but it’s still… not my favorite, to say the least. one idea I had today was to try covering the most visible ones (on the wall facing the hallway) with those 12x12” ikea mirror squares you can stick to the wall. that would be a cheap, removable solution that would bring more light into the space… but then I was like um is it weird to have half a mirrored wall right next to the toilet lol. and also I’m not sure it really solves the issue since the brown tile wraps all the way around. so far I’ve considered:

peel and stick wallpaper or tile (expensive)

using fabric as wallpaper & adhering it to the wall with liquid starch or double sided tape

ikea mirrors

leaving it alone

honestly if I could just cover the strip of brown tile the other tile wouldn’t bother me! maybe like washi tape or ribbon of some kind??

but okay I’m gonna leave the tile for now. I think I’m zeroing in on the art I want to hang… currently leaning towards pieces with lighter backgrounds and some mix of vibrant pinks + more muted earthy goldenrod yellows as the dominant colors… maybe with paler pink or lighter teal/aqua mixed in as secondary accents in the rest of the decor? that would have nice continuity with the colors in the living room. once everything’s dry I’ll take a bunch of different colored objects in and hold them up against the wall to see how they look. could also see oranges-yellows-rust or terracotta reds too but bright pink and dark teal and golden yellow is such a happy palette to me. we shall see!!!

got my work tasks done for the day so the rest of the day is mine… I feel wiped out and headachey for some reason even though I slept okay. hoping very much that it’s my period approaching so we can get this show on the road. I know I’ll feel better if I spend an hour outside, cook real food, and put my phone away for a while. let’s say:

walk 3:30-4:30 in our little secret forest

make shakshuka + homemade pita bread

put my phone upstairs and finish cribsheet (it’ll probably take two hours)

I had good luck writing by hand last night… I wonder if reading over my notes from yesterday will spark some ideas. I’m trying to make writing feel deeply low-stakes, curious, exploratory right now… for some reason it’s just mostly not been “fun” since this summer and that makes me sad because when it is fun there’s nothing I’d rather be doing. so just trying to ease myself back into that space.

do adrienne’s bedtime yoga video before heading upstairs if I’m still feeling bleh

lights out by 10—for real this time!

[thevoidlistens]

A person sits on the side of the road. Their car broke down on the highway exit you drive every single day. To your right is the shopping center that you grew up with; every changing and yet stubbornly staying the same. To your left is a small grassy hill, adding green to the grey veins of infrastructure you've become so accustomed to. They sit past the guardrail to your left, tall weeds and small flowers softly bumping against their leg, face lost as they stare into the horizon. Ouch, you think. Broken down car, huh. Been there, done that. And you drive away, the moment lost as you make the turn and wonder what dinner you'll have when you get home. But you see that hill every day. And you can perfectly fit that stranger into that patch of grass, in the ever moving and yet never changing backdrop of the highway. You wonder if their car was fixed. You wonder if they were crying that day. You wonder what would have happened if you stopped. You wonder if you could have changed anything. You wonder if it would be nice to sit there one day, enjoying a patch of calm, listening to life move on around you. And then you make your right turn and wonder what's for dinner.

-A feeling? An ache? A want for something with no name