piratesexmachine420

[piratesexmachine420]

any thoughts about vivziepop's "Homestuck"?

You are not compelled to form any opinion at all about this matter before you, not to disturb your peace of mind at all. Things in themselves have no power to extort a verdict from you.

— Aurelius, Marcus. Meditations. (trans. Maxwell Staniforth, Penguin Books, 1964)

[piratesexmachine420]

You guys gotta see Weapons

[piratesexmachine420]

BIG NEWS FOR WEBCOMIC FANS: The Bible is being translated into vernacular and distributed to the laypeople

[piratesexmachine420]

A car is a very complicated thing, made of a lot of very complicated parts. These parts are complicated in many ways, but a big one is manufacturing. Tolerances are tight, shapes are far from geometric. You cannot construct the components of a Ford Focus barehanded.

So here's my question: given unlimited quantities of raw* materials (all starting out in whatever form available from McMaster-Carr is most cumbersome) and a tool budget of X US dollars, what's the fastest (Y, in km/h) road-legal car you can build? I'd be curious to see what that plot looks like.

*Raw as in 'a bar of 1144 carbon steel', not raw as in 'fifteen tons of unprocessed hematite'.

[piratesexmachine420]

Kinda wish I wasn't feeling more and more vindicated every day about calling it from the start that treating the AI issue like a moral crusade where you have like a moral obligation to prioritize signalling and reaffirming your hatred of generative AI at any possible chance would lead to a lot of ostensibly "progressive" people uncritically parroting extremely reactionary rhetoric.

[piratesexmachine420]

08/09/2025

[piratesexmachine420]

JIM LOVELL DIED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[piratesexmachine420]

*cutely fills you with my toxic spores*

[piratesexmachine420]

[piratesexmachine420]

I mean, urgent cares are probably one of the few business that don't really need to advertise to customers, aren't they? You aren't judging their reputability from how expensive their real estate looks.

Dentists and daycares and loan offices and pawn shops that that look like Pizza Huts, sure, 'cause you don't want to patronize a shady one of those; but picking an urgent care to go to is more a question of "what is the closest possible business that can handle my broken arm?"

[piratesexmachine420]

Name: Jimmy Lightning

Debut: Peggle

Hell yeah! This goes hard! I'm just kidding. This goes medium. And that's okay! Jimmy Lightning is so so endearing. He is genuinely, legitimately so cool, BECAUSE he's so "uncool". He looks like he's from a book for infants, but slightly cooler than anything that would be allowed in one of those. Like, he has an edge, if you're an infant. And look at him! He's having fun. He's delighted. And he's wearing kneepads! Who even does that? He's safety-smart, and that makes him cool! And his name is Jimmy Lightning. God. If this guy had a little brother, that little squirt would look up to him sooo much.

Jimmy Lightning is a fascinating time capsule to me. I'm extremely charmed by him, as I just explained, but am I supposed to be, in the way I end up being? Now, we're so far from the '90s that we've had so many incarnations of the '90s Radicool Character. The original examples from the time, the parodies that followed, the parodies of the parodies... at this point, this kind of character specializes in being an over-the-top clown. And as a result, dear Jimmy, even as a parody, feels especially quaint! He skateboards, he says "wicked" and "extreme", he even appears with a guitar riff for a one-liner when you do a cool combo. And it's all so earnest. What a guy!

In Peggle Nights, we get to see Jimmy wiithout his helmet, and my goodness he looks old without it. I assumed he was a kid, but now I'm thinking he might have been 65 all this time. I'm not shaming him, it's okay to be 65!

It is in Peggle Nights that we get a new side of Jimmy's character, which I think is awesome. Let's hear it from the gopher himself!

Things are RADICAL! Stuff is AWESOME! And yet just because of the way I talk and how I look, people assume I'm a dummy! But like, this one time I TOTALLY dreamed about curing all disease by using T-blockers to catalytically suppress RNA redundancy! It was tubular! Dude, it was TEST-tubular!

I hope you never assumed Jimmy Lightning was a dummy. That would be presumptuous, and also just mean. I love him even more now! When you clear every challenge, he says that you "put those challenges down like polio". What the heck! Awesome. Maybe Jimmy Lighning does go hard, after all...?

Jimmy allows a second ball to appear when you hit a green peg. It's pretty cool. But I've fulfilled my "gameplay relevance" quota, so now look at Jimmy Frightening!

Jeepers creepers! What happened to his peepers? Well, Peggle characters' pupils are different sprites so that they can follow the ball as it bounces about. This is merely Jimmy's base form. Now... roses of Moses! Does the middle one have two noses? It does, and I can only assume it was to be like a smear frame, since it appears very, very briefly, nearly unnoticeable in normal gameplay. Most characters, however, have normal front-facing sprites. I Just Don't Know! But, like, I'm glad it's like this. This is so concerning.

This is the end of the post. I do not care about Peggle 2 or Peggle Blast! Peggle 2 gave Jimmy dubstep noises, which is so out-of-touch. He's not supposed to be modern-day (this was 2013) cool! The heart of Jimmy Lightning, tampered with... I won't entertain it any longer. I will entertain Nintendo DS Jimmy Lightning instead.

[piratesexmachine420]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you are intrinsically evil

[piratesexmachine420]

pjackk last sighted on pandora attempting to install grindr on a tree

[piratesexmachine420]

Structurally, Heathcliff in its present form is just shitty referential meme humour where 90% of the time the punchline is "laugh because you recognise this reference", except the memes it's referencing exist only in the author's head, which explains basically everything about why Tumblr is into it.

[piratesexmachine420]

Thurston's Orange Peel Theory

[piratesexmachine420]

top 3 places to bleed out:

1. the snow

2. your lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade’s arms

3. bathroom floor

[piratesexmachine420]

I'll also note that, while the MPC recommends that comets and asteroids + dwarf planets all be lumped together into the general category of "small solar system bodies", for historical reasons comets actually have their own completely different numbering scheme.

Fortunately, there are a lot fewer comets than there are asteroids, so we're only up to 503 -- including all the numbers for things which turned out to either not be comets, or not be real.

Comet 1 (1P) is Halley's Comet, which seems fitting, I think. Like, if we put any concerns for records-keeping consistency or scientific rigor or historical propriety... Halley's is the clear choice for number one. I don't think the average person can even name a second comet. I know I'd struggle to come up with more than three or four. (Halley's, Hale-Bopp, Wild... hmm. Shoemaker-Levy 9? [and presumably 1-8?] When I go check the list I just know I'll find a handful more I know. [Tempel 1! And Churyumov–Gerasimenko! How could I forget! Also, forgot there were multiple Comets Wild. I meant Wild 2.])

Ceres is clearly the best minor planet because it's literally number 1:

(That's "minor planet" as in dwarf planets and asteroids -- the MPC definition. They all have numbers, if you weren't aware. Ceres is number 1, Vesta is number 4, Quaoar is 50000, Pluto is 134340. There's an unremarkable asteroid called 'Winchester' that's number 747, I only know it 'cause it's the biggest celestial body in the solar system with name that starts with 'W' -- thanks Sporcle. Check out this list on Wikipedia, and all the subsequent lists, for more if you're interested. Really funny to see how quickly they ran out of good mythological names and had to start barrel-scraping. 439 is 'Ohio'. 453 is called 'Tea'. 484 is 'Pittsburghia'. etc.)

Okay post over.