#a little crime. as a treat

[siri-ike]

The last couple of years have been good to Danny... too good, apparently. He'd accidentally joined a gang, beat up so many would be r**ists, made cops look like fools (an easy feat when you have ghost powers;) and he learned how to properly format an excel spreadsheet. Why, now of all times, did shit have to hit the fan?

There were clues well before Danny realized someone was after him. Hightened ghost activity, all the letters he couldn't read because they were cursive, the occasional horse-drawn carriage becoming him inside. But when a neon green sticky note appeared in a puff of smoke, right in front of his face. That's when he knew Clockwork wanted his attention. Which always means disaster.

That morning, Danny followed his usual routine. He went to the same coffee place, got the same order (sweet tea, a late with 3 sugars and a bagel with jam) and he brought it to the boss just as he was about to bash someone's skull in. He was such a calm and kind natured man but was somehow always in a bad mood before Danny got there.

Even though he never removed his mask, Danny could tell Red Hood was smiling when he looked his way. Not the sadistic way he was smiling before he came in. This was a pleasant smile. Amazing what a cup of coffee can do.

Even though he hid it, Danny knew The Red Hood loves routine. Not just the exact same breakfast and 8 am. sharp every morning for 2 years. He had also ridden the same beat-up motorcycle and used the same gun the whole time they had known each other. He always sat down to read between the hours of 1 pm and 2 pm, then again from 8 pm to 9 pm. And despite clearly preferring to be up at night, he seemed to do everything during the day (as if out of spite).

Safe to say, he wasn't going to appreciate the request Danny had to make.

08:06 am

Hood had ordered his goons to leave. That was another routine. He liked to eat alone. At least, that's how he worded it, but he never seemed to want Danny gone. And so, he did as always; recited the list of things that need to be dealt with in order of importance. A lot of it was kind of depressing. Greedy businesses displacing orphans, a lab infecting animals with degenerative diseases, someone's been stealing wheelchairs and two other gangs plan to have a shoot out at a playground. After that, it was less important things like a meeting with the Don, a suspected traitor, and some kids were cought dealing weed and amphetamines. Slow news day.

A pit forms in Danny's stomach. There's no more putting it off. He takes a deep breath.

But that was enough to get his attention.

"Something wrong?" You wouldn't expect a crime boss to have such a soothing voice.

Danny diffencively grabbed his own arm. He knew it was a sign of distress, and he knew Hood could tell. But Danny's always been such a terrible liar. "I, ih, " He stammered. "I need" in... and out. "I need to take some time off." You could have heard a pin drop.

Finally, Hood spoke. "Are you in danger? Do you need protection?" There was genuine concern in his voice. How could someone so kind be so feared?

Of course, Danny couldn't tell him the real reason (he didn't know the real reason), but he did eventually convince Red to give him one week before checking in. He's so lucky to have a boss who cares so much.

On his way out, 18 different goons begged him to stay. He didn't know them. It wasn't even an organized effort. Each one was alone. He reassured them he'd most likely be back in less than a week, but they still tried to stop him.

It's not like he's worried either, Red Hood can more than take care of himself. Most of what Danny does is just personal assistant stuff, mixed in with a little "crime" sometimes. Plus, with how sweet Hood is, those goons have nothing to worry about.

He hadn't even exited their base when he heard what could only be the sound of a horse-drawn carriage emerging from green fire. (Green ghost fire makes a distinct hot screaming noise, unlike blue ghost fire, which sounds more like a sad scream or red, which sounds like angry botulism). Opening the door confirms his expectations. The same distinct horses as before, too. A bone horse and shadow horse in the front, a scrawny flesh horse and glowing white horse in the back. A short ghost in a fancy but old looking suit held the carriage door open. Danny took a deep breath and put on a brave face (or at least that's what he was going for)

It took mere seconds for them to dissappear from infront of the red hoods base and appear infront of a giant purple castle in the ghost zone. He'd say it looks haunted, but... yeah. He barely stepped out of the carriage before another short, well-dressed ghost opened the front doors.

Inside was Frostbite. The relief must have shown on his face because the yeti was clearly expecting a warm embrace. Frostbite may be covered in furr, and he may have a warm personality, but he is cold to the touch. Danny doesn't care, though. If he wanted heat, he'd put his arms around that piece of hot nope nope, Danny, that is your boss! Get those thoughts out of your head this instant!

"My boy! My how you've grown. Why, you're almost my size." Frostbite said, holding Danny in one arm.

Danny didn't acknowledge the lie. He looks up from where he had buried his face in Frostbites shoulder. "Do you know what this is all about? I assumed the creepy letters were from Walker, but then Clockwork sent a note." He sat up on Frostbites forearm like a parrot. "I know I haven't exactly been a law-abiding citizen lately, but what do ghosts care?" He confessed, far too openly.

Frosbite chuckled. "You think you're in trouble, young one? No, my liege." He placed the halfa down. "It has been 10 years since you defeated Pariah Dark, and no one has taken your title from you. It is time you take your rightful place on the throne." Frostbites eyes shined with pride, and his hands encompassed Danny's whole torso.

Danny couldn't believe it. He came to the ghost zone expecting to get arrested, proposed to, or challenged to a duel of some sort.

Not this.

Ok it’s not like I go here really, but I’ve been reading a bunch of DPxDC recently because it’s very good, and I had an idea that won’t go anywhere

The various gangs in Gotham have callsigns/uniforms or something right??? If not, they should, and imma say they do. Anyway. Redhood I think didn’t think too hard about what people in his gang on his turf should wear for identification purposes, but they sure did. And what they came up with was Red.

Wearing red in the vicinity of the ‘Bad Part’ of Gotham?? Part of the red hood gang. Generally head gear is the preferred method of wearing red. Red hats and beanies, red head scarfs and hijabs, red headbands, red masks. The idea has been communicated. To a certain point, wearing red even if you aren’t officially part of the gang is a great way to get an in with them, or be under protection if you’re the right age in the right area, as long as you’re willing to risk getting roped into low stakes gang activity, which can range from working the counter at money laundering sites to community service (guarding clinics and shelters and volunteering) to making deliveries to destroying certain hostile architecture. (Hood saves the real jobs with cops and shootings and turf disputes for actual members, that he knows the names faces and skills of, and who are at least above 18, but preferably over 20, and who wear real gear he supplies them with, not just whatever’s in their closet that’s red) (this does not entirely stop the smaller ‘members’ from getting into their own fights with the cops and turf wars, but Jason has found that giving them Something to do that feels like direct action helps curb those tendencies. And it’s not like those things aren’t things that don’t need doing, so it’s a win win. Mostly)

Danny, bless him, does not know any of this. But has been staying in the sketchier areas of Gotham because that’s where people don’t care how old you are or if your papers are real or not, and he absolutely does not want people looking into how old he is and wether his papers are real or not. He is also wearing an inadvisable and vaguely conspicuous amount of red. His converse are red, his signature baseball tee is white and red, and his hoodie is also red.

Clearly, this kid (he’s like 17) really wants in with the hood gang.

And eventually, they oblige him.

Random people will approach Danny and ask/tell him that them and a couple others are going somewhere to do (insert vaguely/definitely illegal job or act of community service here) and Danny, who is deeply directionless in life currently, and also pretty assured in his ability to eat danger for breakfast, and has never met an institutional authority he doesn’t disrespect at least a little bit, is totally down for some civil disobedience and chaotic good shenanigans.

And then it spirals from there. Like. A worrying amount.

It takes Danny actual months, almost a year, to realize that he’s been low key slow cooked into the criminal underbelly of Gotham, and like… he’s not really mad about it?? Honestly if he had a choice when he came to Gotham, he probably would have picked the redhood gang anyway. He just seems to vibe with them on a… Spiritual Level…

Hm

Anyway

Years go by, and while Danny doesn’t have the most going for him in terms of a normal person life, vis a vis higher education, official employment, health insurance, dating life, or any other benchmark one uses to measure the trajectory of their lives— Danny’s feeling pretty good! Jazz, Tucker, and Sam have all finagled their ways into Gotham, (Tucker has a WE internship, Jazz is working/doing work studies at Arkham, Sam does what she likes now that she is a legal adult and has her inheritance, and what she likes is environmental activism, and occasionally being spotted with fellow activist Damian Wayne, and someone who may or may not be poison ivy, sources differ) and Danny finds his obsession suspiciously well served as a hood goon. Hood hench? Redgoon? Hench hood?? Name pending, who cares.

Danny is also suspiciously good at, well, his job. One of the best runners, even when he gets caught and frisked they never seem to find the goods on him (they never do check IN him, but then why would they) very well liked at every volunteer spot they have, patient, kind, funny, good with old people, kids, bitter people, addicts and the homeless, the sick and injured. And yet also very competent in the field, when they finally let him do actually dangerous things. Act as protection detail to the working girls in the red light district, he’s very respectful, and very good at intimidation, de-escalation, and when push comes to shove, excellent in a fight. Knows when to keep pressing his advantage and when to make a retreat with whoever he’s guarding. Not afraid to fight scrappy, and presses through pain and fear like a true gothmite.

He gets so good at his not really a job job that he becomes essentially, Redhoods right hand man.

The rest of the bats are skeptical of this for several reasons. Because generally speaking, the people in Jason’s turf are not fans of the bats, but Jason does a lot of coordinating with them, and someone so close to him is going to pick that up eventually if they’re half as sharp and useful as Danny is. Other than that, secret identity issues, plus pit rage, plus the fact that Jason trusts pretty much nobody. But Jason has great feelings about this guy, he always feels more clear headed and even keeled when he’s around, and he helps Jason remember the community he’s trying to build, and the community he serves. Also he delegates and mother hens like nobody’s business, but Jason just really can’t seem to work up too much irritation about it.

It is around this time, however, that the past, and shady government organizations come knocking.

Perhaps the GIW has also noticed how ecto-contaminated and lawless Gotham is and decided that they could start doing research and experiments with its live and undead denizens instead of amity, where the portal has closed, and ghost activity is down since phantom disappeared. Or maybe the GIW has finally located phantom specifically and is interested in what they’re always interested in. Or maybe it’s various ghosts harassing Danny to take up the throne, which he’s been avoiding successfully, but having settled into a life routine that suites him his core has finally ‘settled’ (halfa cores fluctuate more than other cores due to the transient nature of being alive, but halfa people settle into lifelong patterns and relationships quicker than other people because of the static nature of being dead) he is mature enough by ghost standards to assume the throne, or at least begin preparing for it.

Regardless, danny is being tracked down for his childhood baggage’s extended warranty, and brings the entirety of the JL and almost all associated sidekicks, hero group spin-offs, and organizations into the thick of it.

Idk. I just got through Secretary Danny by DeathlySilent13 on ao3 and I thought man oh man wouldn’t it be neat if Danny got to be Jason’s second in command instead??? That could open up a lot of avenues I haven’t seen yet. I’m also just very curious about how the Jason’s runs his gang according to the fandom, and I think that with all the ACAB energy Danny has been assigned, he should have a little bit of community focused organized crime. As a treat. Like I said I don’t go here thou, I just needed to put this somewhere and see if it vibed with anybody besides me

[cry-ptidd]

” Am I not right to weep? O my children, cursed children of a hateful mother - ”

[hannahvardit]

It's called a pickle boys, it's what you're in right now.

[moeblob]

Injured on the job > gets ice cream to heal > happy android!

[muzsmocsing]

The heavenly realm has a subtotal of a quadrillion braincells and all of them are Ling Wen's.

[longing-for-rain]

Genuinely think some of these new fans posting things like “why do people hate Aang so much uwu meanies!!!” have absolutely no context of what non-canon shippers have been putting up with for the past nearly 20 years now.

We have been harassed relentlessly. We’ve seen these fans, and even the showrunners, make fun of actual children for drawing fan art. We’ve had misogynistic insults hurled at us constantly. I had someone literally spam me with kataang rape/“breeding” porn on Reddit after I said I liked Zuko and Katara together, when I was about 16 years old. I’ve seen my friends called racial slurs for being women of color who dared to like Zutara. I’ve seen kataang stans tell myself and others that we were lying about our own experiences of sexual abuse because we dared to say we felt uncomfortable with the language they used to defend their pookie.

So sorry, but if fandom is “ruined” for you because you saw an opinion about a fictional character you didn’t like, I struggle to have sympathy for you. You care more about the imaginary feelings of a fictional character than actual human beings.

[cattoru]

😭 conan not being tall enough to look at the evidence 😭 so he tugs at hattori's arm reminding him 😭 AND HATTORI PICKS HIM UP SO HE CAN SEE BETTER 😭

[rottmnt-brainrot-hours]

I connected the dots (ie I saw two rottmnt dtiys challenges involving cars and decided to combine them)

AU crossover time! Featuring @angelpuns's Leo and @onionninjasstuff's Donnie and Mikey.

They saw Barbie in theaters, robbed the US government, and got ice cream afterward.

(In my mind this is post villain pb+j "redemption", meaning they're still gleefully destructive, but now also get along with their long lost family.)

Bonus:

[nonbinary-odo]

Sometimes people will feel very negative about Odo prioritizing solving crimes over people's wellbeing (like Garak in The Wire) but I honestly just see him as being really pathetic about how much he's into his special interest.

Odo: "pls I need to do illegal wiretapping and arrest people for fun and interview dying ppl and watch the secret live feed of Quark's room pls I need to pls I am screaming crying throwing up"

Like, acab irl but I think it's funnier if people let Odo do this stuff not for cop reasons but because they know it's Changeling Enrichment

[sourtoasterstrudel]

Doodles of the silliest man because that other thing i was working on is so hard for me. Uhhhh yeah I’ve got so little to say right now my brain is empty <3

[gildedgb]

By the end of this event third place will still have them like this

[goldengirlgalaxy]

You know how there's a whole thing about how DC superheroes die and get brought back a lot? Well, for DPxDC, how about this?

Every time a Justice League member gets resurrected, their ghost remains in the Ghost Zone.

So you'll have a member of the Justice League bite the bullet for whatever reason, they'll form as a ghost in the Ghost Zone. They'll make themselves comfortable, maybe they'll even becoming defenders of peaceful ghosts who have no experience fighting or no desire to fight. Maybe they'll find dead family members and re-establish their bonds. Maybe they'll find other dead members of the Justice League and make and undead branch of the Justice League. Maybe they'll meet Danny and either help teach him how to be a hero (if he's still young) or become a hero group supported by him (if he becomes the king).

And then, for whatever reason, someone found the magical amulet that can revive a person, they somehow developed 1-Ups for a limited time, the revival machine finally got a tune up, the hero gets revived. But the ghost doesn't leave the Ghost Zone. Because of this, the revived hero doesn't have any memories of their time in the afterlife. The ghost probably doesn't even notice something changed and that their old body is up and running again.

This all ends up coming to a head when the GIW decide to push the manhunt for Danny Phantom and all other ghosts, lying to the Justice League in order to convince them to help. They eventually decide to hunt down Danny and corner him, ready to capture him...

… And suddenly he's saved by a bunch of ghosts that look identical to them.

[moeblob]

son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control

[thegreatyin]

when you've completed your transformation into a terrifying celestial beast and your husband VERY RUDELY and VERY CRUELLY refuses to give you a smooch on your big fluffy alien snoot because he says you still need to do pointless things like "listen to union demands" and "apologize for all of those war crimes you committed". as though you aren't a literally a fluffy powdered donut

[iam-the-wild]

I feel like this is going to end up being Tabby when they try to destroy the Orrery

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.