#YOUR POSTS REALLY GOT INTO MY BRAIN FOR A BIT
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WET DREAMS || S.W
— You didn’t think Sam was the type to have a wet dream, but his heavy breaths and small whines against your neck said otherwise.
Summary; Unresolved tension that Sam and Fem!Reader are constantly teased for by the older Winchester finally gets resolved when Sam manages to have a wet dream while sharing a bed with her.
Content Warnings; Smut, piv, unprotected sex, size difference, belly bulge, Sweet and Dirty talk, Soft-Dom!Sam, Wet dream (obv), Mentions of Dean, mentions of sexual tension, heavy breeding kink, one bed trope, dry humping, cursing, creampie, pulling the panties to the side (yes!), Pet names (Sweetheart, Sweetgirl, Baby, Honey, etc.), praise + more!
A/N; 3 posts in a row? Woaaa. Also, please don’t spam my posts, shadowban exists. 1.4k words, proofread. 16+ advised.
xoxo, roro <3
After the hunt that you and the Winchesters were on, you were able to find some motel on the side of the road. It wasn’t fancy, but it was enough. You were all tired, so you didn’t bother arguing about separate beds.
You and Sam shared one bed, while Dean snored in the other room.
It was amazing, nothing really happened to piss you or Sam off and Dean not being in the same motel room to interrupt with his constant snores and sleep talk.
Your back pressed against Sam’s front. His arm stretched across your waist as he held you firmly against him. It wasn’t like Sam snored or anything, that wasn’t why you couldn’t sleep.
You couldn’t sleep because you could feel his arousal pressing against your ass.
His hips shifted, his 6’4 frame was enough to prevent you from moving especially with your small frame.
You and Sam weren’t exactly established, but you weren’t exactly friends either. Dean always teased you both about the clear tension whenever you were in the same room mere inches away from each other. The older one even noticed the glances you sent his younger brother. And he definitely saw how Sam’s tone and demeanor changed whenever Dean cracked a not funny joke or a flirtatious comment. Sam’s eyes trailing down your figure didn’t go unnoticed by you nor Dean either despite him thinking he was slick (but when was he ever).
Sam’s hips unconsciously grinded up against you, sending a shiver up your spine along with a rush of arousal to your core. You didn’t think Sam was the type to have a wet dream, but his heavy breaths and small whines against your neck said otherwise.
He was letting out incoherent mumbles while his hips continued to push up against yours. His hand tightened on your waist.
The man was still sound asleep.
You tried to be quiet, but who could be quiet when the man you’ve been wanting for years was dry-humping you in your shared bed?
You bit your lip, trying to contain a small noise from slipping past your lips. It didn’t last forever though when he let out a groan after he bucked his hips up particularly hard against you.
You let out a small whimper, and he stirred slightly. His lips parted as his eyes opened slowly. He didn’t realize he was pressed that closely against you until he looked down to where his crotch was pressed directly against your rear end.
“Shit, I’m so sorry-“ He was cut off with a groan when your own hips grinded against his. He was half awake, and he didn’t process the fact that his brother was in the next room. It’s not like you did either though.
“Sweetheart, what- what are you doing?” He gritted out through his teeth. You let out a soft whine in response. Sam could feel his length throb inside of his jeans that he wore to bed despite you wearing your panties and your shirt.
“Sam… please,” You pleaded, he let out a heavy breath again. On one hand, this was probably a bad idea knowing that you both had to leave for another case by morning with his brother in the car. On the other, he was fucking aching for you.
The logical part of his brain shut down when he heard your plea.
“I- uhm… okay, I got you- I’ve got you, honey…” He reassured, “Lift your hips,” He instructed, moving his hands down to unbutton his jeans. He discarded his belt earlier that night. When you did as he asked, his hand slid down from your waist to cup your heat through your soaked panties.
“Fuck, baby… you’re this worked up?” He groaned, his middle finger sliding against your clothed folds. He was collecting wetness through your panties.
You let out a hum in response. His hands tugged his jeans and boxers down just enough for him to be able to pull his cock out.
Sam knew you both wouldn’t have time to get changed in the morning, so he slid your panties to the side. Earning a whine from you as your pussy was exposed to the cold air of the motel room. He aligned himself up with your entrance, his lips covered your jawline with kisses as he carefully pushed inside of you. Your lips parted to let out a moan but Sam pressed his own against yours before you could.
When he finally sheathed himself fully inside of your cunt, he began to whisper praises against your lips. Cooing to you how well you were taking him, “Hey, hey… see? Taking it so well, you gotta loosen up f’ me, baby, hm? Can’t give you what you need if you don’t.” He reminded, his fingers snuck down to your clit. Sliding his fingers beneath your ruined fabric, rubbing at the bud to relax you further around him.
God, you were fucking tight. You were dripping as well, god, why hadn’t he done this sooner?
Y-You can move… please?” You whispered, he pressed a kiss to your lips one last time before he rolled his hips experimentally to see how you’d react. He felt your fingers tangle in his hair as you let out a gasp against his lips.
When he started up a pace, your mewls and moans filled the otherwise silent motel room. Everytime he moved, he filled you to the hilt continuously. Reaching that sweet spot so easily as if he knew where it was by memory. His index and middle finger continued to rub at your pearl, you stretched perfectly around him… even better than he imagined or could’ve dreamed of.
“God, Baby… taking me so well, huh? So small and you’re taking me like a good girl— jesus… you fuckin’ love me stretching you wide, don’t you, Sweet girl?” His tone was soft despite his vulgar words and his movements. You swore you could feel him in your guts.
Which proved to be right when his free hand pressed down on the head of his cock inside of you. You gasped even louder and he had a smirk on his lips.
“So deep- mm, Sammy…” You sounded so needy, and he clearly was getting his ego fueled. He loved how you dumbly told him how much you loved him inside of you, how your brain was turning to mush with his hands roaming your body and his cock hitting spots so deep inside of you that you didn’t even know existed.
“Fuck, you feel me, huh? Feel my dick inside this pretty little tummy? So small… filling you up in all the right ways, aren’t I, Sweetheart?” He groaned when he felt your cunt squeeze him, signaling that you clearly loved the way he spoke to you. Also that you were close. He could tell that you were anyways though, based on how your whimpers became more frequent.
The combination of his fingers, his cock, his words spilling in your ear, and how his hand pressed on the bulge in your stomach had you feeling euphoric.
“So close, so close- God…” You moaned, his hips began to stutter yet still kept a steady rhythm. He was close too, his length twitched inside of you.
“Come inside of me, Sam… need your fucking babies in me, get me all nice and full—“ You were cut off with a cry when his hips bucked hard enough to make you fall apart. The knot had already broken inside of you just from that single thrust. And by the way you tightened around Sam’s dick had him groaning against your neck.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby? Me fucking my cum inside this ruined cunt of yours, huh? Don’t worry… gonna fill you up so good you’ll feel me for days. Gonna fuckin’ breed this cunt- get it all nice and full of me.” He was more vocal now just at the thought of filling you up. The thought of marking you in more ways than one. His hips stuttered before he stilled, a moan leaving his lips when he came inside of you.
He managed a few more weak thrusts before he stilled completely, overstimulation taking over you both. Your thighs were coated with arousal, your panties were completely ruined now, but that’s not what you both focused on. His lips kissed your jaw a few more times before he drew away from you, tucking himself back in his boxers before he pulled up your panties.
“Did so good for me, Angel.” He praised, pulling you into his embrace as your breathing came to be even. You were both completely spent.
His words held truth to them, you were certain you’d feel him for days.
#sam winchester smut#supernatural#fem!reader#sam winchester#jared padalecki#sam winchester x female reader#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester drabble#oneshot#soft dom#smutsmutsmut!
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Warfare
You see, Marvel’s mentioned the Wisdom of Solomon before. The JL never really thought much about it. As a result, the JL just thinks Marvel has all these… interesting ideas but just never says anything about them. Though, there are a couple times the ideas are actually voiced. (They don’t know Billy is just parroting whatever Solomon or occasionally another God with tell him)
Like the time Batman and Marvel got stranded on a planet that was stuck in the middle of war. They were promised
Rebel Leader: “Do either of you have any ideas to bring to the table?”
Batman: “No. Marvel?”
Marvel: “Huh? Oh uh… well I could magic a plague into the water near them. You said they’re using it for their water source, right? Then, when they’re weak, we can go around and take them out.” *sounds hesitant*
Batman: “Hmm… That could be a good idea, but what sort of plague are we talking about?”
Marvel: “Cholera.”
Batman: “What.”
Marvel: “Cholera.”
Batman: “Marvel, that’s fatal.”
Marvel: “Oh.”
Batman: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Marvel: “Well, if we’re quick, it we can get to them before they die.”
Batman: *stares for a bit, holding back a sigh* “We don’t even know if Cholera will affect their biology the same way it does humans.”
Rebel Leader: “What is this Cholera?”
Batman: “It’s a deadly waterborne disease.”
Rebel Leader: “I see… And you’re unsure whether it will work with our physiology… might I propose a different disease?”
So yes, biological warfare, that’s our first thing. Batman proceeded to spend a lot of time convincing the Rebel Leader not to nearly kill an entire group of people with their version of Cholera.
Then there was the time Bruce and Marvel were working together and got held up in a shootout at a lab.
Marvel: *looking at the various chemicals in the lab* “Gosh, I remember my first exposure to chlorine gas.” *getting nostalgic* (He’s from the 1940s in this one, guys)
Batman: “You’ve been exposed to chlorine gas?”
Marvel: “Yeah, and let me tell you, those dang Nazis were horrified when it didn’t work on me. Don’t worry though, we’re gonna be making mustard gas instead.”
Batman: “Captain, we are not doing that.”
Marvel: “Why? We have all the available ingredients.”
Batman: “Marvel.” *puts a hand on his shoulder* “Mustard gas can be fatal.”
Marvel: “Oh.”
Batman: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Marvel: “My bad.”
*more silence*
Batman: “Is this why you always let others plan?”
Marvel: “Are you gonna look at me weird if I say yes?”
Batman: “Hn.” (Translation: Yes, but it won’t be visible through my cowl)
This incident checks chemical warfare off the list. Bruce is now concerned as to why most of Marvel’s ideas are either nearly fatal or just fatal.
Then there was the time Marvel went undercover with Bruce Wayne, not Batman for whatever reason. They then got attacked by pirates while on a ship trying to gather information about some supervillain.
Bruce and Marvel: *taken cover under a table while the pirates fire cannon balls at them*
Bruce: “Any ideas?” *peaks over the cover only for a cannonball to whiz right past his head*
Marvel: “I think I have one. So here’s what I’m thinking. I take out their mast, steal all their oars, and then push them out to sea and let them drift wherever.
Bruce: “That’s… Intense. Wouldn’t they starve if you just let them drift?”
Marvel: “I guess. If they’re not saved, I mean.”
Bruce: *stares with the most deadpan face* “How about I come up with a plan instead?”
Marvel: “You got it boss.”
And last but not least, the physical warfare.
By the way, Billy doesn’t know Bruce is the Bat. No, no, no, he just thinks the guy is someone Batman wants him to work with. He was a little surprised to see the dude act all brooding like Mr. Batman when he had heard from others that he was a party boy. Oh well, not his business. Meanwhile, Bruce doesn’t know Marvel thinks he’s just interacting with a capable civilian.
That last part was inspired by @helps-the-writing-brain-go’s reblog of this post. Thanks for letting me write with your idea :)
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#batman#bruce wayne
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-> The Paper Art Post <-
Let's make some Wild Life ep.3 snails together!
First of all, I make a sketch (usually it's already the size I want the final thing to be, because I'm a very lazy person).
At the point where everything is apparent enough to have a clear vision in mind, I go to my paper scrap drawer and think of what colors and textures I want to use (although sometimes I initially start from the color palette).
Here they are! But don't get too attached, we're gonna destroy them later >:)
And while we're on it, let's talk a bit about textures!
Textures are like candy for our eyes. They are an easy way to trick your brain into thinking that something is more detailed than it actually is, hence it adds interest and makes the whole piece fun to look at.
However, this is also why it's important not to overuse them — it's easy to get lost in the details and accidentally make your piece difficult to perceive as a whole.
You can make textured paper yourself using literally anything you can come up with: paint a sheet of paper with gouache or tempera, make swirls and gradients with watercolor or inc, scribble with colored pencils, make prints with various objects (I enjoy making prints of crumpled paper tissues soaked in ink), etc etc. Packaging film or candy wrapping also can be cool.
My only advice is be careful if you use gouache: some colors can make your fingers messy even after completely drying, so that has to be kept in mind to avoid accidentally leaving a dirty fingerprint somewhere you didn't plan for it to be.
For the tools I recommend using not only scissors, but a modeling knife/scalpel and an awl as well. Modeling knife makes cutting small things much easier, and awl comes in handy when you want to transfer a detail on paper but don't want to use pencil.
For gluing stuff I use gluestick, rubber glue and double-sided tape.
Now the fun part!
You can add details with colored pencils and markers ↑
As you can see, the process is pretty simple: I cut the piece I need from the sketch and transfer it to colored paper.
When it comes to assembling pieces, you can carefully cut them so that everything fits together like a puzzle, or simply glue them on top of eachother.
Keep the scraps (unless they're objectively tiny, of course)! You never know when you'll want just that amount of just that color or texture. It's also much more practical to cut new details from the side of the sheet from which you have already cut, rather than start from different edge every time you need a piece of that color.
Don't rush to glue things down! Along the way you might want to move something a bit or put one piece under another, and with quickly gluing everything it won't be possible. I like to work in big parts, making every object or character in the picture first and then, after putting them on their places and fumbling around, gradually assemble everything like lego.
Here are two parts of the picture (Bdubs' snail + Tango&Etho's snails) and a piece of red film I want to put on the background in some places. All that's left is to assemble everything by carefully gluing it on to my sketchbook page :)
You also can elevate certain parts of your artwork to create depth and areas of interest, using puffy tape or п-shaped / [-shaped piece of paper and glue. It looks really cool, but I usually don't do that because it's inconvenient for me to store & I like to keep everything in the sketchbooks.
TA-DAAA, we're done! The best thing about this technique is that you don't have to be good at actually drawing to make something that looks interesting!
Hope this post was useful and you've got inspired to try paper art for yourself! (And if you did — send me your art in ask box or replies, I'll be very glad to see it :] )
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Saw your tags and YES OFC. I love your art style, and im honored you made the choice to follow me. I was SHOCKED
Thank you!!! I really love the ideas you’re playing with and I’m looking forward to seeing where you take them!
Regarding my own ideas … y’know how I said I’ve already got a number of Four Swords AUs projects to complete and that this would be something to get around to eventually? Well, my brain decided to ignore all of those:
For those not in the know, demon-nayra shared an awesome idea earlier this week that essentially boils down to Vio, Red, and Blue being directly tied to the Four Sword and being the same characters in both Four Swords games (this is demon-nayra’s original post about it). My brain grabbed the idea with both hands and ran head-first into another AU, which I’m going to call “Goddesses AU”.
In the Goddess AU, Green is Link, Hylia’s chosen hero. Vio, Red, and Blue’s spirits have been tied to the Four Sword by the Golden Three, so when the Four Sword is drawn, they’re released to assist Hylia’s chosen hero. Each of them is tied to one of the Golden Goddesses: Vio to Farore; Red to Din; and Blue to Nayru (I recognise the irony of Blue being tied to the Goddess of Wisdom, but I think it’s really, really funny). Whether they were created by the Goddesses or whether they were regular Hylians once is unknown—all they know is that when they defeat Vaati for good, they’ll be released to live out the rest of their lives like regular Hylians.
Back during FS (as opposed to FSA), they assumed they would be released once this particular adventure was completed, and were making preparations accordingly—Vio was setting up to study and research, while Red got engaged. Blue didn’t have any particular plans, but would have been happy to travel. An amount of their character development happens during this adventure. At the end, however, instead of being released, they were locked back into the Four Sword again.
When FSA occurs, they’ve been locked in the Four Sword for centuries, but for them it’s only been the blink of an eye. They emerge, and at first they mistake the new hero for the previous Green. Then they realise what’s happened. Red especially is deeply distraught—not at anyone in particular, but grieves losing a person he loved and had prepared to spend the rest of his life with. Vio and Blue both get a bit protective of him, in their own ways: Vio tries to distract him, while Blue tries to fend off anyone or anything that might hurt him further (physically AND emotionally) and argues with the Goddesses. The new hero (who gains the name Green) has no idea what’s going on and tries to get everyone to focus on the task at hand.
Idk how much of this I’ll write, but I had a lot of fun redesigning the characters! (Not convinced by Vio though …) Regarding the designs, I drew inspiration from Din and Nayru in the Oracle games for Red and Blue. I really like the parallel of the Goddesses having stand-ins in at least two of the timelines, so using concepts and symbols from Din and Nayru’s designs felt like a good approach. I’m also very tempted to say that Red’s a good dancer and that Blue plays the harp (when nobody is listening, of course).
#four swords#goddesses au#kalh answers#I think that’s all I had to say about it? for now? I kinda wanted to draft a little bit of the story#but we’re doing board games with friends and I didn’t bring my laptop#(and I’m impatient and want to share this)
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@patricia-taxxon
After playing the game, I immediately thought how it feel for Rambley to be projected upon a wall, engulfing the person outside. How it would feel to be so close to touching the other, but yet not. I wonder.
#indigo park#wtrclover.png#my art#rambley the raccoon#fanart#SORRRY IF THIS IS WEIRD#YOUR POSTS REALLY GOT INTO MY BRAIN FOR A BIT#trans
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only human
[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.
The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#<-- should i add that to the original post... if it's effective?#anyway this was a direct sequel to the previous post... i had a lot of thoughts when i drew it but my brain is failing me rn#something something about being granted that bit of mundanity and then running into some situation that whiplashes u back into the identity#u were built and trained to be. that at the end of the day its not possible to just be without dirtying your hands again#he's used to it but ww will forever be someone too kind too tender hearted to really be eased out of the cold lifestyle he's forced to live#and i personally dont think trimax vash could look at wolfwood with disdain or disappointment when catching him after the fact#he knows where wolfwood's heart lies he's seen the way wolfwood killed to protect and he thanked him for it too. i think him understanding#ww deeper in that way would just make his heart wretch so all he can offer is a comfort and arms to return to.#to reassure that he can still be loved even with the blood on his hands#i also think i drew an illustration when i first got into trigun depicting this same ish message....#i'm just very particular about this Subject. i need ww to be loved i need him to be reassured even if he'll still refuse to believe he's#worthy of it like AUGHHH. ok.#ruporas art
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I took my sweet time playing through @diasporatheblog these past few months and finally brought myself to finish it yesterday (so sad it's over sobs)
#diaspora game#diaspora#cog#if#interactive fiction#sangarinus#sangarinus nabor#tintabrancaart#tintabrancaocs#tintabrancaocfalgaraile#if you saw me post this twice u didnt. tumblr loves to hate me sigh sigh#anyway !!#this game waow#ancient rome is a huge fixation for me so castulia was a treat to explore and visualise#esp bc the game doesnt take place in the capital (rather in a port city which. yesssss)#okok so my fool falgaraile (falga to their friends).. they/it legend#they're a bit more on the serious side wrt personality#partly bc of the stress of their responsibilities but also bc they're fairly straightforward in their manner#it's exhausted by the wars and conflicts around clan maghnus which def contribute to the stress#refreshed and looking forward to the possibility of peace. looks at balthasar#falga's eye got eviscerated in a raid when it was a teenager so now they have a prettified prosthetic in its place#some scars on their legs too but yea#it turns out you cant big brain your way out of every fight !! and it learned the hard way lmao#but yeye gosh i used a mixture of diaspora's worldbuilding and celtiberian material culture as refs for their design#because that is where my heart lies :'D#oh and sang !! i didnt go too hard on his design because it's a little more set in stone already#i love him he's such a lil (big) guy.. my buddy my pal. mwah#i have a very strong mental image of his face so i had to give it a few tries to really nail down#im glad w how it came out !!#ahh okok i need to rest but yes i love diaspora i love the setting and characters :'D i will be replaying it while i still can
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terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally
re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.
Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.
#toy txt post#this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops#i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People#like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like#very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt#recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr#got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh#dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right#they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on#critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve#developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog#chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we#dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by#the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana?#but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think#that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a#spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which#i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain#luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can#desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now 😭. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it#i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine#i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to#the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that.#it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding#her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding#like that#im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip#ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my#parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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on the off chance anyone on here followed me for my jonmartin fake dating au, currently standing tragically unfinished at 7 out of 8 chapters: i'm still working on the last chapter! i would love to have it up this year, but unfortunately i can't make any promises, because i've started a new medication and the side effects are wreaking havoc on my mind and body. haha isn't chronic illness fun. but rest assured the fic is the beating heart under my floorboards, and i WILL finish it one day
#i feel pretty bad about it because my update schedule has been really inconsistent for the whole fic :///#and now the final chapter is going to be even more epically delayed than the other ones#should've probably finished the whole thing properly before i started posting it but you live and learn i guess#my chronic illness really messed with my ability to write and i hate it#like the chapter is almost done. under normal circumstances it wouldn't take me long to finish it#but it's like my brain has forgotten how to make words happen. ugh.#i don't want to let people down by making them wait so long for an update#but i also don't want to let them down by giving them a mediocre chapter y'know#if all goes well the new meds might help with both the chronic fatigue *and* the depression which would be an absolute godsend#but ngl. the side effects are rough. and they can apparently last for up to six weeks#and i've only been taking the meds for about 2 1/2 weeks so i've still got a long road ahead of me#i also started my period yesterday which certainly doesn't help lmao#delete later maybe#just needed to vent for a lil bit. and as everyone knows there's no better place to discuss your private business than tumblr dot com
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Anime gave me such unrealistic expectations on hair parts and bangs as a teenager
#i was the guy who kept trying straight across bangs like oh maybe this time they'll look good#nope thats the devil talking#same thing with hair parts I'll watch a show of some sort and their hair is so pretty#middle school me had to learn the hard way of how hair types effect hairstyles#cause i have really heavy fine hair thats a bit wavy#so that does NOT mesh well with bangs unless i styled them#which i guess is the caveat of this whole post: hair styling is rough#andddd to talk myself outta cutting my bangs#LOOK I'M NOT GOING THROUGH IT- i just really like how some wuxia c drama characters look with bangs#and my brain goes hes just like me frfr cut your hair#mikh talks#particularly about wwx im like i kinda miss my side part bangs#the rest of my hair is staying long tho i just got it down to my waist#i wanna see how long i can get it/my sister got it to her tailbone and my cousins all the girls got hip length hair#the real rez girls 🥺 i miss my cousins already I'd like to get to know them better
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tell me if you think I'm breathing good...
[collaboration with @dxppercxdxver again]
#em draws stuff#flintlock fortress#team fortress 2#a better caption would be 'please sit down for five minutes you literally just got operated on'#as it stands it's lyrics from 'doctor' by gawain and the green knight. love a lyrics-caption in this house.#one of these days I will stop only drawing 3/4 of the polycule but the proportions are most truly driving me up the wall#posing's a bit awkward here but this was an outfit sketchup that got out of hand#also this is a fascinating sort of. step back from your own brain moment for feeling weird about posting something I drew#the rat says 'this is too ...something for tumblr' and the logical mind says 'you drew this man sticking his finger in his own bullet hole'#and Then I got weird about showing his legs and also giving him a little hat? That's really going to be what I got weird about?#the inside of my head is truly a wild place to hang out#anyway Stay Tuned there's going to be writing that goes with this. eventually?#'em shouldn't you write the part that actually happens at the beginning instead of skipping right to the big finish'#ha! that sounds like rule-followers' talk! certainly none of that going on in here!#watch me put ansel through the plinko of horrors live on tumblr dot com. or whatever.#also I desperately needed to take a break and from long years of experience I know that Scrungled Fellow in Shirt is simply Where It's At.#he looks weird and wrong with no glasses but hey so do I!
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Love learning things about myself! For example, today I learned that I pass out while getting blood drawn!
#personal post#was only out for a few moments#i think. i don't actually know due to Not Being Conscious#i just remember thinking 'ooo bit dizzy but i always am when i get needles this is fine.#hmm bit dizzier now just gonna rest my head on my hand here. damn i really hope i don't pass out.'#and then i came to with two extra nurses around me and the original nurse holding a cotton ball to my arm#it was actually quite funny cause they asked if i normally faint and when i said it was my first time getting blood drawn#all three said at once 'ooooh okay it's your first time'#so that was fun. but then when they did the second test and took 3 more vials i was just fine#so idk man it was probably more a stress response than anything#and i'm fine btw#just got a new family doctor who would like to do some blood tests#so here we are#fainting is a hell of a thing. would like to do it as little as possible.#though the part of my brain that writes things is DELIGHTED with the hands-on learning experience
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me when i try and ignore a hyperfixation i’ve had for 2.5 years … and it doesnt work!!!!! who could’ve expected that ………….
#dies. also VENTING AHEAD sorry i ended up venting in tags. SO YEA VENTING TW BE WARNED!!!#yk what i’ll say it. its the#fucking d s m p#im spelling it that way so hopefully this wont show up in the tag. if it does sorry to ppl who got here from it#but.#i WANT to be over it i want to not like it anhmore#bc it does not help my moral ocd one fucking bit#why does it not help my moral ocd u may ask?#bc it is very controversial and has many ppl in it that are legitimately bad ppl and *points at ppl saying if u like d s m p youre a bad pe#and like . That doesnt help my moral ocd (which is obsessed with being a good person at all times and if im not then i am evil)#my hyperfixations are part of me and i cant just rip them out#its lik a tree grew its way in me and now if you rip it out i die#weird analogy but i dont really care#if one of my followers decides to unfollow me bc of liking d s m p. i understand#and f jfjemenfm why couldnt my brain latch onto like .#her mit craft#or somethjng#????#i wouldnt feel guilty ofer liking that#well . maybe i would but probably less idk#and i feel guilty interacting with any fan content of the d s m p#even just liking a post related to it makes me feel bad#and like ejrkfjfj this#i just wish i didnt like itever in the first place#idek how i got into it#but i did#aughcjekdjd#sorry for venting but . yea. i didnt intend for it to be one but apparently my brain wanted that. so#also dont expect me to go posting d s m p content after this cus.. im not#i purposefky never talk about it because if i do the demons (my ocd) will end me for it☺️☺️☺️☺️
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January 2024: well, I can’t get my antidepressants anymore and this withdrawal makes me want to kill myself. From now on I’ll just raw dog these feelings so I never have to deal with these side effects again.
June 2024: I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. The world is ending. We’re all walking through the end times and whether I die soon or the world collapses in on itself, I can feel the simultaneous emptiness and crushing weight of the end. There is nothing.
#this isn’t really funny is it?#anyway so yeah going back to the dr tomorrow to ask for antidepressants#which ones I don’t know. I’ve been on so many that I don’t know if anything really works#THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR EVERYONE. THIS IS JUST ME. I NEED TO BE MEDICATED. I LOVE YOU. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.#a whole nothingburger of a roadblock hit me earlier and I ended up having to sit outside for an hour#basically ‘hey can you maybe go to your appt a bit earler just in case they can see you sooner’ and I was like… why bother w/ ANYTHING!#one of those stupid things that’s so easy to work with in retrospect but at the time I honestly felt so hopeless and pushed around#what a fucking baby#anxiety and depression can just turn you into a fucking baby#I SAY THIS SO EMPATHETICLY! You are NOT a baby! your brain just doesn’t work right! I’m so sorry we gotta deal with this.#some people don’t need meds. some do. this post is about me. my chemicals have been caustic for years. I gotta balance the humors my liege#so basically I’ve been antidepressant free since mid jan. it’s sucked. it’s getting WOOOOORSE.#so as much as I hate adjusting to new meds. as much as I say ‘I don’t notice a difference’#about that. THIS is the difference you dumb bitch (me)!#I’ll be on meds and kinda mehhhh. but this. without meds. I’ll take meh and functional over months of meh and then suddenly DEATH!#I’m not in a position where I can just go out and get a bunch of healthy food and go work out and change my environment and blah blah blah#I’m poor and disabled boy!#but god… I know there’s more I could reasonably do. I know. I don’t need suggestions. I’m sorry. to myself and everyone I’m annoying.#just… for right now. for this week. let me try to rebalance.#I got some antianxieties to last a week maybe but they’re not cure-alls.#I wish I could say oh I popped an Ativan and I felt so good but NO! it makes me sleepy and a bit calmer and it’s NOT sustainable!#I can’t be drowsy all day long. I definitely CAN’T handle a benzo problem. fuck I am always worried about withdrawals with this stuff.#oh dang. I’ve just been sitting here rambling for maybe half an hour now in my little chair. doofus.#okay sorry to bother you#I love you and I love you and also I love you#you can ignore this#text
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One more shift tomorrow then I get like 2 weeks off practically. Bless.
#after you know what last night that made me realize my friend asked me to watch her dog at the perfect time#I'm cracking in so many ways and directions I need to get out of that theater for a little while it's not helping at all#I'm gonna try to do a bunch of writing while I'm just sitting at her house too#so hopefully I can get the next chapter of what goes in finished and posted soon like I'm not too far off to be honest#then I can work on your princeton for a little bit again before resuming chazzerella like I have a plan guys#for the multi chapter things anyway like I need to do them in kind of a rotary system kinda way atm#I've got a one shot or two I'm occasionally putting words in too so I mean we'll see I guess#I've been having a really hard time writing lately maybe the change of scenery will help de-fog my brain a little#I don't know we'll see what happen I still have to survive work tomorrow first#I really just need a hard reset I think#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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