#Well fuck it I’m making it one

[witless-winion1]

My thoughts on the paralyzed!Polites AU

(Which I really should do more research on; inspired by this)

Odysseus cries when Polites first wakes up

Eurylochus almost cries. Instead just let’s out a very shaky, relieved sigh and tells his friend “I’m glad you’re back”

his vision is messed with in that classic “Eye for an eye” vibe

His left arm is broken and yet he still insists on greeting the world with open arms

“Don’t you mean open arm?”

“You hush, Perimedes.”

So much survivor’s guilt but he’s very thankful to be alive and honors his fallen friends with Ody and everyone else

He basically can’t walk without help

Odysseus carves him a cane himself

It has a bunch of super cool details, including a winion

Polites adores it

(perhaps they go back to the Lotus Eater island and kidnap a winion for Polites? Like a comfort animal. Give Polites, my Disney Princess Pancake, a familiar plz)

But Polites needs a lot of help with things that require both arms or both legs or gods forbid all four

one dumbass numbnuts comments “would’ve been kinder to let him die” under his breath after Polites wakes up

Captain nearly throws him overboard

obviously

“My best friend would be delighted to live life in whatever form it came to him! You shut your fucking mouth and if I ever hear you ask such wretched nonsense again I’m going to put you on latrine duty for a month, am I understood?”

Eurylochus has to hold him back during this

Eurylochus also immediately assumes position of bodyguard of Polites.

He and Odysseus soon begin fighting over this job

they decide to share custody

(eventually)

OPEN ARMS REPRISES BUT HES ACTUALLY ALIVE!!!!

plot? Oh yeah plot

lmao what plot

after the Cyclopes passes out Ody is too busy making sure his friend is okay (which he is not). He gets somebody to check the other smashees and then stays by Poli’s side (no, he don’t give a shit that he’s captain, you guys go stab his eye, he’s asleep it’s not that fucking hard)

Odysseus carries Polites when the Cyclopes wakes up

he’s too busy thinking about getting him back to the ship and calling the best doctors from the 12 ships so he tells everyone to grab the sheep and HUSTLE

Athena grabs him and starts with her “HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE LESSONS I TAUGHT YOU? HE’S STILL A THRE-”

“ATHENA IM BUSY RN WE CAN TALK LATER”

“BUT HE’S STILL ALIVE-”

“WE’RE LEAVING BRO! HE’S NOT GONNA FUCKING SWIM AFTER US!”

they’re not on best terms for a while after that but they still reconcile after

then they get home! Whoop de do, congrant, 99.7777777778% of the canon plot avoided

when they get home and our sunshine is actually properly long-term treated, Odysseus and Telemachus’s first big father-son bonding project is to make Polites’ house more accessible for him

and Telemachus fucking loves Polites. Best Uncle Award. They vibe so hard that Odysseus cries

he almost cries when Penelope starts weaving clothes that are easier for his friend to wear. He’s a tiinnyyy bit jealous but he’s still so happy. And Penelope noticed and weaves her dear husband some clothes too, all his old ones are stinky asf

Eurylochus and all Poli’s friends from the ship still visit regularly. It’s just a big happy family

and nobody dies, not even Nobody

(except for those other guys from the Cyclopes cave but this ain’t about them)

[constarlations]

Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂

One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-

Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!

Twitter Link

[padfoot-lupin77]

Remus: I’m not joking guys I’m fucking serious

James and Peter: *Le gasp*

Sirius: *grins*

Remus: oh fuck the lot of you that’s not what I meant and you know it

Sirius: is it not true though? *winks*

Remus: *sighs* I suppose it is

Peter: Pay up James

James: couldn’t you guys have waited until after Christmas? I would have won the bet then

[ryan-sometimes]

Recently I’ve been getting anons and comments doubting the validity of some of the stories I tell on here. There’s nothing I can do to convince you that the stories I tell on here are completely genuine. All I can say is that they really are. I only post the wackiest, most interesting or funny stories of my life on here. You don’t get much of the boring day to day stuff.

Truth is, I come from a very long line of crazy people. When my dad was in med school he and some friends planted a small homemade bomb in an abandoned bathroom at their university. His roommate stole a pancreas from the corpse lab and put it in a girl’s backpack. The entire med school was suspended because no one owned up to it. My uncle would sneak out at night with my grandma’s car and she’d find out because she’d check the mileage and see it’d gone up, so my uncle started driving her car backwards since that didn’t increase the mileage. He got arrested driving her car backwards on the highway to another town. My uncle would steal my grandpa’s shotgun, tell his friends to jump in the pool, and start firing it randomly at the backyard. My cousin genuinely had two weed smoking girlfriends who were also girlfriends with each other. My great uncle had an affair exposed by having his intimate photos and videos with his mistress sent to the family groupchat by people who stole his phone, all because they were salty that my aunt told them to go fuck themselves when they messaged her asking for money. My aunt took out all her life savings and moved to another state to build a bunker because she believes the apocalypse is coming, and she didn’t even take any of her children. I don’t know how to tell you this, but life is just stranger than fiction sometimes. The sample size of life stories you get on my blog are just the instances in which that’s true.

[formulanni]

Genuinely Williams switching Logan out for Franco feels personal and petty. I haven’t been following f2 super closely this year but from what I’ve seen Franco is just.. fine? I mean, he’s good, but he’s not Kimi or Paul. To replace Logan at this point would only make sense if they swapped him for someone with loads more experience, someone more likely to score points. At this point they’re swapping him for someone who’s probably gonna have his same level of performance, if not worse. It just feels almost petty? It’s like a weirdly personal move and it just makes me think about all of the reports of JV’s alleged mistreatment and silent treatment towards Logan.

[fireladybuckley]

I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻

[freshbeeth]

fuck it. off the hook songs + irl equivalents playlist

(link in title, tracklist below cut)

OtH first, IRL second

i will NOT be accepting constructive criticism

[royaltea000]

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me ;)

[watchfuldeer]

our secret thing

succession 1.09 pre-nuptial

[clock-06]

Curly Mouthwashing I dislike you but I could never hate you.

Mouthwashing has me by the throat rn shoutout to ADHD and hyperfixations

The only truly innocent person on board is Anya, Daisuke I love you dude but I feel like you could’ve helped Anya and just kinda assumed someone else was gonna do it. Swansea, you kinda redeemed yourself but not enough.

Jimmy deserves to live in horse purgatory forever

[askblueandviolet]

Macaca and the Mayor, what's it like to be parents?

Bai Hae, how does it feel to have two more dads?

Do your parents even know that one of your babysitters is the mayor?

MASTER POST

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[boypussydilf]

compilation i made of some particularly funny and silly max line deliveries (yes it’s all rob tinkler and william kasten) (yes it’s all screen recordings from my phone assembled in imovie)

[foreverfearlessred]

oohhhh when I tell you I’m about to do something that puts me on the international news. James Vowles shut the fuck up challenge when. I hope your shitty excel spreadsheet gets corrupted x

[thursdaysyme]

Guinevere convincing the officer she can chill her husband out

[princessefemmelesbian]

>“Tomboyish girl is bullied for being a lesbian but then turns out to be straight after all, phew.” >“Butch character is made straight so as to ‘avoid problematic stereotypes’.” >“Just because I’m masculine doesn’t mean I’m gay!” >looks inside

>“Being considered a lesbian is the worst thing ever and it’s an embarrassment for straight women to be seen as one.”