#also some of these are just funny
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
fuck it. off the hook songs + irl equivalents playlist
(link in title, tracklist below cut)
OtH first, IRL second
i will NOT be accepting constructive criticism
#i’m so objectively correct about every song here#of course i refuse to take constructive criticism#not technically one of my character playlists but#well. here you go#also some of these are just funny#pov: you can’t skip the news while ODB lists every fucking location on earth#pov: marina wrote color pulse before she was fluent in inklish#pov: you’re in a splat2 splatfest and you lose and then THAT starts playing#splatoon#splatoon 3#squidposting#off the hook#you wouldn’t believe a tumblr user would make a playlist this Black! but it’s true!!#you really think MARINA IDA is listening to white people music. i have to laugh#pearl had a 21p phase but that was ONE year
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!
#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#arts#dungeon meshi#hello Im back again! to tumblr#also Im pretty shamlessly using beebfreeb 's falin outfit. I like it a lot I think thats how she is#delicious in dungeon#obviously influenced by some other peoples designs of modern designs figured Id put that disclaimer i do love those#i have no idea what the canonicity of laios going to the library is. like. he knows a lot#but i dont know if thats from books necessarily? jsut thought it was funny just pretend its this particualr libraary if that bothers u I gu
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
Is this anything
#always an awkward conversation to have irl#“i love ai.” insert that one spongebob holding out his hands with a shadow above him meme#“FICTIONAL. FICTIONAL AI!!!”#clankerposting#Clay posts#fictional ai#shitpost#hal 9000#robots#p03#electric dreams#allied mastercomputer#ihnmaims#shockwave#transformers#fuck ai#this is an anti ai art blog btw#objectum#saying hello to everyone who reads the tags um... hi!! Really funny to read people recommending me entry level robot/AI media#like yes i have indeed heard of portal and ultrakill. i just didnt pit them in the meme </3#also some guy decided to write in the notes that they were going to crush me into red paste. hot? thank you? ???? weird.
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
leaked dialogue for sonic 3 surely
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#sonic wachowski#art#fan art#he's just a funny lil guy#a silly dude#who is also emotionally repressed#let my boy shed some healthy tears
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Mlp infected aus that just erase Discord from existence is so funny, he would shut that shit down so fast. Not even all that for the sake of friendship or whatever he’d see it and be like erm… not really my cup of chaos, this is just gross (snap, fixed)
#my little pony#discord#mlp discord#discord mlp#he’d be like this bit is not funny#all zeros from the judges you’re out#it’s also inconveniencing/upsetting fluttershy#saw one version where discord had put fluttershy to sleep/in some fantasy land where everything was normal#the idea of him just skeddadling with fluttershy is equally funny what is wrong with you#skedadding* whatever#jabber
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hot take
Night furies are actually perfectly evolved for hunting and killing other dragons and the only reason they aren't a dragon-hunting species like the death song or deathgrippers are is because DreamWorks couldn't have their adorable main character dragon be a "cannibal"
(below I'm gonna try to summarize what we've figured out in a convo with friends on discord)
(also tw animal death via predator)
First of all yes I'm aware that pretty much every decision made about their design was with consideration of the effect it would make on human audiences but hear me out
Night furies are most iconically known as dive-bombers. They are built for speed, high maneuverability, night-time camouflage and for striking targets from above. If we remove human settlements out of the equation (which would not have existed long enough to actually influence night fury evolution, come on), what does that leave us with?
They aren't built for catching fish for sure, they aren't very hydrodynamic and their head is round, wide, and their teeth are dull. Honestly, the monstrous nightmare is much better suited for catching fish, with its long neck, almost pelican-like jaw and rhamphorhynchus teeth
Compare to
Yeah the jaws look kinda like a porpoise of some sort but for that the whole body would have to be a lot more aquatic imo. The light fury looks a lot closer to an aquatic diver, it has a sleeker body, rounded fins instead of spikes, and a long neck.
I don't really see them hunting land animals either, they just don't look like they're adapted for that minus the resemblance with large felines and even then, they're too large to effectively hunt in forests.
The one thing I can kinda imagine them hunting is large mainland megafauna, but we're working with a setting that takes place pretty much exclusively on islands. And overall, dragons are the only abundant species there with the exception of fish and human-bred sheep and chickens.
In general, night furies have duller teeth, smaller claws and are smaller than most dragons. Disregarding the movies making Toothless weirdly OP, a night fury would be disadvantaged against most dragons in a 1v1 fight and besides, it has four huge weak spots that would highly discourage it from a direct physical fight - the primary and secondary tail fins. One unlucky rip in the membrane and the night fury is fucked.
The night fury however noticeably resembles falcons, given their dive-bombing ability and high maneuverability.
Falcons too have smaller beaks and weaker claws compared to most birds of prey, and for that they compensate by simply picking up speed, balling up their talons and Punching. Really. Hard.
And they use that ability to kill other birds, even much larger ones, by knocking them right from the sky.
Here, the night fury's plasma blast works the same way as a falcon's punch. Dragons are fire-resistant, so what the plasma blast does is really just a densely packed bolt of energy that has the effect of either stunning or outright killing prey by damaging its spine. And what the plasma bolt doesn't do, rapid contact with the ground would finish. And if even that doesn't do it, the night fury's wide jaws and dull teeth are just fine for simply clamping around the unlucky dragon's neck and strangling it, like a lion or a pitbull.
The night-time camouflage allows the night fury to soar for extended periods of time perfectly unnoticed in the night sky, and by the time it strikes, the dragon wouldn't even know what's coming.
Unless
Say the hunting night fury is aware of other dragons sleeping under the trees, as most dragons probably would at night (village raids aside, most dragons seem to be diurnal), so how does the night fury get them in position where it can use its signature attack? Well, there's That Iconic Screech Of Death. Since in the movies it tends to appear not just during dive-bombings but also when charging up a blast, I imagine it's something the night fury is able to control to some degree. So by simply fake-diving in close proximity to sleeping dragons, it can effectively terrify them into leaving their hideout and fly out into the open where it can easily take them out.
I dunno, the possibility of night furies as predators to other dragons just makes so much sense to me, I really don't know what other reasons there would be for them to evolve these particular adaptations.
And one more little headcanon to add to this whole rant - since night furies are significantly smaller and less equipped for dragon vs dragon fights and are primarily speed-based predators, I imagine there is this very likely scenario:
There is one dragon who resembles a hyena, a lil bit
Ok, rant over
#httyd#how to train your dragon#night fury#spec bio#spec evo#as for why Toothless isn't hunting other dragons and lives in the hive with all the rest#this is a pretty funny possibility to think about but perhaps in the past -1000-ish years humans have simply become#such a massive nuisance to the dragons that some of their species abandoned their natural behavior in exchange for kicking humans asses#yes i know the movies were all about ''dragons are actually perfectly fine and innocent and it was just the Red Death''#but also human effect on the environment and encroaching on natural dragon hunting grounds and fucking up the ecosystem#anyway there
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
a man of many talents
#hermitcraft#grian#ariana griande#my art#sketch#really i just wanted to draw griande but the contrast of her and grian's new fisherman skin was too funny not to draw them side by side#(also i wanted to draw griande with some sick drag queen make up but quickly realized that it's gonna be hard with his eyes...)#(and then i also got lazy.......)#(sigh)#(maybe one day)
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
Good.
#i ruined my bed for this bit so im posting it on all platforms#this is a reference to some image people have been making fun of on twitter#but i think it's also just independently funny
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Starving and wasting away etc etc
bonus:
Hes tall and huge and HEAVY and he is so overly active that he has to maintain an insanely high caloric intake to make sure his body doesnt collapse from the strain of everything. He will eat virtually anything but he is spoiled from the best takeout Gotham has to offer: 11$ shrimp and broccoli from the chinese food spot that closes at 4am- among other things.
#batman#bruce wayne#superman#wonder woman#dc#my art#mine#bruce#clark#diana#i will not make him a sugar fiend but. he is a donut guy. also#it is funny to think of him stopping in some random late night cafe in the full getup#and watching him chow down on donuts he ordered while he waits for drinks#the powdered sugar ruins his vibe so he waits until after patrol to get them#u just KNOW there was one time where he had an alert as soon as he got his food#and he and dick had to grapple walls w munchkins in their mouth#i dont want to write him as food motivated....but he can be bargained with if you have a favorite meal or snack of his#virtually every team member and robin knows this#and he doesnt even pretend to scold them bc he gets good takeout every time
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i am absolutely l o s i n g it at Tommy "Desert Storm Vet and Texan in 2003 When the World Ended" Miller realizing he's now a communist, like look at this:
this man's whole worldview got Rocked
#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#the last of us hbo spoilers#this ep has been quite funny so far#wonder if that'll end at some point#edit: yeah the funny times be over#edit 2: christ almighty i've never had a post this popular and it Actually Does Suck A Little#but also glad y'all found this just as funny as me
29K notes
·
View notes
Text
gay dracula
#a doodley#1. i love love the thought of some really stupid thing being what Breaks a stoic character for a bit#2. this is also semi based on when i saw the ''suicidal dracula be like i vant to kill myself'' and i couldnt#stop saying i vant to kill myself with the accent it was just so funny to me#3rd panel is al and skunker being confused as to why its affected him this much but they like seeing him smiling of course
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.
#once you realize : oh theyre just trying to rile me up and i dont care to give them a response#everything is less stressful#i keep seeing the same arguments rehashed every six or so months#i know a lot of people are new and dont know but the trolls youre arguing with do#theyre trying to burn yall out and send you packing#also i do think there is something very funny about someone spending all that time color coding a bait post#and no one engages with it like wow you tried#i understand the passion people feel AND at some point you gotta let it go#anyway i do feel like the best way to sustain longevity is to just block the tags/people who enrage you
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
"they're not graceful", "they're not elegant", "They're not angelic"
-and i took that personally (as a challenge!)
#flight rising#frfanart#fr everlux#my art#quick doodles#literally the closest dragons you can get to a biblically accurate angel#this was mostly just for some practice#(...and take a break from the monster of a piece i've been working on for like 2 weeks now :') )#but this was also drawn with just the slightest bit of spite >:t#and i know they already explained Light being more about scholarship and knowledge#but even so i think the funny little worms fit perfectly fine into the 'angelic' category#like look at some of the new genes they released with!!#and freaking cherub!?!?!??! HELLO!?!?!??? AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS!??!?!?!?!??!?#*banging my pots and pans* WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!#anyways the new Light gecko-bugs are good 👍#and some people are cowards#(and if i see any nasty behavior in the notes. i WILL block on sight -.-)#hey look i even got it done in time for a fat dragon friday!
1K notes
·
View notes