#WHY DID THEY DO THIS

[strifestream]

TUA SEASON 4 SPOILERS

i’ve never been so disappointed in umbrella academy. i really had high hopes for this season and they met those expectations but were ruined the moment i watched episode 5. the way they managed to massacre two perfectly good characters and their perfectly good platonic relationship for the sake of more bullshit drama just hurts me greatly. five has been my favorite for all 5 years i’ve been apart of this fandom. and to see him turn from someone who cares greatly for his family and would never do anything to hurt them in any capacity to a literal home wrecker and someone willing to give up on his family so easily. and lila turning from a strong independent woman who is willing to fight for herself into a pawn being fought over by two dumbasss brothers. it just really sucks. these characters had so much love and heart put into them and really could’ve been more if they weren’t given the short end of the stick by terrible writing.

there could’ve better ways to create compelling drama without sacrificing the characters integrity.

so disappointed i don’t think i can look at umbrella academy the same again.

(stayed up till 3am to watch this with a friend 😭 never getting these hours of my life back. such time wasted.)

[inkydiamonds]

I HAVE REALIZED SOMETHING.

So. For people who are not Ethoslab watchers, in his most recent episode he showed off these beautiful statues Joel supposedly made of Etho in front of his house.

I figured Joel built them, and it seems Etho did too, because he sent Joel a message via mail about them.

This note... honestly surprised me a bit? I didn't think much of it at first, but the tone of it felt out of place. Obviously these two have this ongoing bit of being obsessed with each other, and they've done nothing recently but yes-and to the sun about it. This note seems to almost shut this bit down, saying "this bit hasn't gone too far yet, because I'm showing this on camera, but it's getting there." Which is a possible explanation for this note! But considering all they've done recently it feels very sudden.

And then. Joel claimed to not have built the statues. "Oh," I thought. "Joel is claiming not to have built the statues because he doesn't want to seem obsessed." Makes sense. Or maybe he *didn't* build the statues and someone is pranking them. That also makes sense.

But it was only when watching Joel talk about it on Impulse's stream, when I heard Joel say "honestly, I think Etho might have done it," that it clicked.

Oh.

This motherfucker.

He 100% did. That's why the message is so weird. Ethoslab built statues of himself outside Joel's base, messaged him via mail saying "that's kinda weird bro" and then DIDN'T EVER REVEAL THAT HE BUILT THEM. Oh my god THIS MAN...

From Etho's audience's perspective it just looks like Joel was continuing being obsessed with Etho, as usual, just another example in a long list. But *Joel* knows he didn't do that and *Etho* knows Joel will figure out who did. This mischievous motherfucker. Oh my godddd I hate them. Listening to him read back the note with that little smile in his voice. I am unwell. Why are they LIKE this

[thebadbatchfan]

spot the difference

[driftingballoons]

From then on he didn’t get to lead any missions

insp:

[natjennie]

things this girl is:

asking for you (out in the parking lot)

super hot

on a bike in a bikini

also part bird

on a bicycle? or a motorcycle?

a bicycle. for sure a bicycle

going to the beach, maybe (on a school day??)

a model! she's a model!

wanting to get into videos (*pause* 🤨🤔)

saying you're hot

1st. taking pictures.

2nd. thinking I wish I had my friend from the av club here

[lonecentaurion]

i had a vision

[lovevalley45]

it wasn’t until this watch of izombie that i realized. in the s3 finale they decided to reference GEORGE HW BUSH LEARNING ABT 9/11 with peyton n floyd baracus like i think the first few times i thought it was strange that they set it so specifically to him reading kids but

they really said it is zombie 9/11

[lucky-clover-gazette]

rating the volo voice lines from pokemon masters ex as i hear them for the first time

“I’m Volo of the Ginkgo Guild, the go-to choice for your mercantile needs.” 

Sounds like he’s practicing his merchant persona in front of a mirror. Very pleased with his own performance. Might break out into song about it. 8/10

“Allow me to present this to you.” 

Spot-on cadence of Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation. 4/10

“Here’s a special treat for you!” 

Creepy. Feels like he’s going to hand me a bomb. 2/10

“Oh! It’s looking lively around here.” 

Sounds like he thinks he’s too cool for the party you’ve both walked into and wants to know that you hate it too. 7/10

“What a joy to be alive!” 

Said with the paradoxical determination and resignation of someone who values his own life too highly to end it, but hates that life so fucking bad. 10/10

“Oh! My heart is racing with excitement!” 

Sounds like he just made himself think of something he actually cares about in order to generate enthusiasm about your thing. Also, overdoing it on the “oh,” there. 7/10

“If we use this well, the world will open up.” 

Whatever you say, beautiful. What are we talking about? 8/10 

“I like you better and better!” 

He’s telling the truth, but he likes me for reasons way less innocent and simple than my continued business. Regardless, the praise is appreciated. 10/10 

“Fancy running into you again!” 

Two possibilities: he very intentionally arranged this meeting and is pretending to be surprised, or he was surprised by the meeting and is pretending to be chill about it. 8/10 

“Maybe we’ll get to know each other better now!” 

Sounds like he’s about to ask for my social security number, and if I’m into men, and if I’m into giving men my social security number. 6/10

“Of course. I’d be glad to help.” 

He’s foaming at the mouth to involve himself in whatever protagonist shit I’m up to right now. 9/10

“I can see a whole new world!” 

According to Bulbapedia, he says this “upon reaching max level.” Is that like a relationship level? Does that mean I’m his world? Knowing his motivations in PLA, this could easily have a double meaning—getting close to me, and therefore Arceus, allows him to create a new world. This concerns me less because of the world erasure thing, and more because it might mean he doesn’t actually care about me. 1/10 

“Let the battle begin!” 

Doing a pretty good job sounding normal with this one. 3/10 

“That’s it! Go right ahead!” 

According to Bulbapedia he’s saying this to Togepi, which is very sweet. Also explains why it doesn’t sound fake as hell. 10/10 

“Here you are!” 

He says this to Togepi when he gives her an item in battle, I’m assuming a potion? Which is, again, extremely sweet. 10/10 

“Pay me later!” 

He says this while “using Trainer move,” which I assume is like his signature flourish during battle. The reference to his merchant persona is clever and he sounds like he’s very proud of it. I’m amused by the implication that I’m supposed to pay him for something, though. Is he helping me or battling me? Both? What are we, Volo? 4/10

“Delightful!” 

Accompanies the “nice” emote. I’m not going to complain. 5/10

“Careful now!” 

Accompanies the “watch out” emote. He sounds concerned, but like, in a “please don’t inconvenience me with your pain” way. I wish he truly cared, but maybe if I lie to myself, I can believe that he does. 3/10 

“I’m filled with curiosity!” 

Said with the exact cadence of Grunkle Stan talking to idiot tourists at the Mystery Shack. Ostensibly laughing at himself, but actually laughing at the people who are stupid enough to believe him. 9/10

“Pokemon battles are always good fun!” 

He only says this when he wins, which means they’re not always good fun. Makes perfect sense for the character and I like the delivery. 8/10 

“Too powerful…” 

He says, actively fantasizing about eventually proving himself more powerful. 10/10 

“BEHOLD! DESTINY! LEGENDS! UNDONE!” 

Bulbapedia identifies these words as things he yells during “unity attack/theme skill.” I have no idea what that means. It sounds to me like he’s accidentally taken a double dose of his ADHD stimulant medication and is just saying whatever the fuck comes to mind. 6/10 

“Allow me!” 

Said while “switching in.” Assuming he’s helping me, this is rather nice to hear. I’m more than happy to set this strange contemptuous man on my battle opponent. 9/10 

“Oh dear, that’s too bad.” 

Said while “recalling fainted Pokemon.” Option 1: He’s recalling his Togepi and trying very hard to sound brave about it. 10/10. Option 2: He’s taunting me about my fainted Pokemon with a sickly-sweet condescending tone. Also 10/10. 

“Good morning! Are you heading out today?” 

I appreciate the casual greeting and barely-contained rabid interest in my protagonist activities. 8/10 

“In that case, potions are a must.” 

Thoughtful and dedicated to his quotas. It does feel like he’s five seconds from calling me “milady,” though. Wait, in PLA I think he actually does that. It might be “madam.” He’s so embarrassing. 7/10 

“The weather outsider is lovely today.” 

Sounds like he’s about to take his lunch break so we can enjoy it together. 8/10 

“So, how about it? Care to go on an outing with me?” 

Already beat him to it. He’s trying so hard to sound chill, but I think if I said no it would ruin his day. Also, what’s with “outing?” Just say “date.” The game knows you’re saying “date.” This is a dating sim. 10/10

“Please, don’t overexert yourself too late at night. I don’t want to lose one of my loyal customers!” 

First, that’s what she said. 6/10. Second, he’s negging me again. 9/10. Third, he has other loyal customers?! 0/10

“Ah!”

Sounds like the peanut butter baby from that 2016 viral video. 4/10

“Rrrrrrr…” 

Nintendog. 7/10

*Sighs deeply* 

Agreed. 9/10

“Yes.” 

Me when I say “yes.” 5/10 

*Increasingly loud fake bouts of laughter* 

This man is going to end up on the news. 10/10

*Evil chuckle, tapering off into deranged humming* 

This man is going to end up at the Tony Awards. 10/10 

*Bitchy throat clear that turns into a laugh* 

This is how he laughs at the PLA protagonist after he insults their “curious getup.” 10/10

“Outstanding!” 

He’s high, tipsy, and/or sleep deprived, and someone just suggested getting takeout. 6/10 

“As expected…” 

Apropos of nothing, but he does like to feel smart. 7/10 

“CONGRAAAAAAATULATIONS!!!” 

This is perfect. This is a perfect voice line. The voice actor understands the comedy of Volo’s character perfectly. Divine madness aside, he is a merchant NPC almost obsessively invested in the protagonist’s adventures—but unlike many such cases, the narrative both understands and demonstrates how fucking weird and off-putting that is. 1000000/10 

“I wish you great fortune.” 

Reminds me of the PLA line, “Supporting you now is actually an investment in my own fortunes.” The voice actor nails the double meaning. 7/10 

“HOOOOW DARE????!!!!” 

I can’t find an explanation for this line. I think it’s just random. He’s so fucking weird. Did he read that in a book? Is he in a bad play? 10/10 

*Whimpering* 

Took a quick break to walk around my apartment and poorly make the bed. No further comment. ?/10

*Relieved sigh* 

It’s a relieved sigh. 

*Literal actual moaning* 

???????????????????

*Various other noises* 

The people in the comments of this video were not exaggerating. Holy shit. 

“Have some mercy!” 

WHAT IS THIS GAME RATED??????

*Deep sigh* “Now then…” 

I have no words. I don’t know. Why does this exist in the way it exists. 

“Right! Thank you!” 

I feel like I just witnessed something that I did not ask to witness. Does the Ginkgo Guild have a HR department? 

“My apologies.” 

That is not helping his case. 

“Leave it to me!” 

Good voice line. Great performance. He would say that. We’re back on track, love it. 5/10 

“No thank yewwwwww…” 

Bitch. 8/10 

“Please!”

“Indeed…” 

“That is quite something!” 

All very normal. 5/10 

“You’re too kind.” 

This is the weirdest line delivery yet. He sounds unhinged. Something happened around the 1:19 point of this video that neither of us can pretend didn’t happen. ???/10 

“Until next time.” 

Spoken like a charming male musical theater lead who just did a little song and dance about his life philosophy. 9/10 

“Come on, now.” 

Getting weird again. There is nothing I could possibly possess that would necessitate that amount of beleaguered desperation. 6/10

“Let’s get our blood pumping!” 

Not on the first date—sorry, outing. ?/10 

“The mysteries of the past… oH-hO! How they tICKle my curiosity!” 

Sure. Why not. 5/10 

“Investigating the odd and novel is key to any good merchant’s success.” 

This is delivered pretty much how I would imagine in the game! Also just such a fun line for him—he says this as if it makes all the sense in the world, but it literally doesn’t? It’s a total non-sequitor. Investigating the odd and novel have nothing to do with being a successful merchant, and later in the game he even admits to ditching work to do his research. I’ve always appreciated that part of his characterization—the way he knows that he’s bullshitting everyone and getting away with it, and is simultaneously so smug about his clever ruse and so miserable to be alone in his truth. 10/10

“A HISTORIC MOMENT!” 

Deeply bizarre final line for a deeply bizarre character. I hope he says this about mundane shit like dropping a cup of coffee or getting an email. 10/10.

[corujani]

Ive been thinking about that for some time and

IM FUCKING LOSING MY MIND AT THAT LAST COBY AND LUFFY SCENE

What was the purpose of that, just whyyyyyyy

What is narratively, the point of the staring scene, if not to set romantic tension?

Besides the fact that Coby/Luffy have the same dialoge line as Ussop/Kaya

And i dont know about yall but my mind imediatly conected the two

With the ussop/kaya this line is followed by the kissing scene but coby/luffy have this... staring... before the "be a good marine/be a good pirate"

It just felt like it would lead to a kiss come on

[another-rogue-trevelyan]

My biggest hope for Veilguard is that my character doesn’t do the Lumbering Man Walk TM in every cutscene

[i-post-random-layton-screenshots]

[serailovesbagelsetc]

me : and I took that personally

[tell-them-the-north-remembers]

Help they deleted the original official Magnificent Century channel and all of the episodes with it all of a sudden 😭

Now I have to watch from the English one with a VPN

[shoobie-doobie]

NOW WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THAT THEY CANCELLED DEAD BOY DETECTIVES?????

[rheyaer]

[tinkerbitch69]

Watching the infamous cyberwoman episode of torchwood and thinking ‘why the hell is this directed like an office comedy?!’

Then it hits me…

The epiphany.

Torchwood is an office comedy.