#Tw: sadness
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Not anything related to events whatsoever but imagine growing up with Kaveh and Al Haitham in an orphanage.
The three of you are inseparable. Although none of you had reached the world outside the Akademiya, your close-knit group was more than enough mental stimulation for your young mind.
You don't remember a lot about your childhood enough, but you'll never dare forget these two. You enjoyed playing with the two boys, often teaming up with Al Haitham to assign Kaveh as a family dog or making Al Haitham play lazy roles like "the tree that stands outside a castle". There was never any need to know any other faces than the people you've seen throughout your childhood, and you've never wanted to cross the outside bother.
That was all until third grade when one day, your teacher gloomily walks to class, dropping a few of their papers, sloppily picking them up before sitting down. Every child sees her as a guardian. It was clear to everyone that Miss Rukkha had been having a particularly rough patch that week, and then she asked you all a question:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Numerous voices– dreams filled the room, bright. Nilou said she wanted to be a dancer– you've heard Dehya speak of becoming an adventurer of sorts that protects her friends– and Kaveh proudly stated that he'll become an architect worthy of expanding the orphanage.
But Miss Rukkha laughed somberly.
"I'm sorry, children, but much like a seed expected to be grown and plucked as a beautiful rose–" she breathed, the pain evident in her voice.
"The truth is, we will see no fruition to those dreams, for you are created and raised to be harvested– with the time for wilting stolen from you." Miss Rukkha sobbed. "You will never see what becoming old is like. We have reared you in for the potential of your organ donations, and to this day, we cannot even tell if you children are human."
Miss Rukkha gazed at Al Haitham specifically.
"Even with my age–" she laughed again, although joking, her chuckle remained hollow. "I still can't tell. I still can't tell if clones are just like us– just like me."
Your teacher slowly skimmed through the papers, seeing Kaveh's crayon drawings. The colors are vibrant and the strokes were masterful: befitting of a genetically enhanced child.
Memories are a fragile thing, but it's not particularly forgiving when it comes to phrases that will haunt you.
"Do any of you have any real souls and dreams at all, or am I fighting for my delusions...?"
You don't have anyone in life anymore. They've all "completed" the goal they were assigned to. Now in your thirties, you've gotten yourself a rather unsurprising occupation as the "carer". You've convinced yourself this was the job for you since it helps you look after the clones who will donate their organs until they inevitably pass.
But it does have it's empty moments. Sometimes, you'd take a good look at the drawings Kaveh had done. You wished you had better momentos to keep Al Haitham in your mind, but perhaps his faulty earphones is enough for you to hold on to.
"Miss Dehya, are you ready?"
She sighed.
"(Y/n), you know this is my last donation..."
"I know, I know..." You nodded politely. "I'm sorry."
"Just– just shut it." This was Dehya, that was by no means impolite. Being blunt was her weapon of choice to protect herself.
...
"Say, (Y/n)," she looked down. "When's your... You know..."
"In October 13th."
Dehya immediately jolted up.
"On the same day?!–"
"On the same day Kaveh and Al Haitham had theirs in 2021 and 2022 respectively, correct."
"These people are demented."
Dehya didn't know you three chose this date.
"At least they're people." You smiled. "We're just clones, after all."
"But it don't feel that way, don't it?"
You didn't say a word.
...
"... Will you be fine?" She asked.
"I'll be fine– and you will be fine." You took her hand. "Because..."
"Why are you crying?" Al Haitham bends down, looking down at you. He was slightly taller, but with you on the ground it seemed as though he was towering you. "Are you sad because we're clones?"
"Of course they're sad about that, you idiot!!!" Kaveh smacked his head. "Who wouldn't?!"
Al Haitham didn't seem to mind as much as anyone else, and perhaps that's precisely why Miss Rukkha gazed at him.
"But what exactly are you sad about?"
"I-I–" you choked out, mid-tears. "I wanted to be with you two!!! I wanted to be with you and Kaveh for much longer!!!"
Kaveh's lips trembled. "(Y/n)..."
Al Haitham frowned. He knelt down to your level.
He hugged you.
"I see."
Al Haitham pulled away. "How about this: why don't we all complete our final donations on the same day?"
"We can't," Kaveh frowned. "I'm older than you guys by two years..."
"If we can't do it in the same year, then let's pick a date." Al Haitham proposed. "This way, we'll still feel a bit closer."
He wiped your cheeks roughly. "How does that sound?"
You sniffled.
Kaveh, knowing that Al Haitham's idea doesn't sound particularly comforting, knelt down beside him and took your hand.
"Hey, hey, you'll be okay– we'll be okay– wanna know why? Because..."
"Because even though we're having a hard time leaving– we're not meant for this world. Our dream life is somewhere up there, on a castle in the sky, where there's a lush green tree that lazily sways and a happy golden retriever waiting for us to come home."
#yes this is inspired by a pretty cool sht i have to consume for grades– look up Never Let Me Go!#... and if you're gonna ask– no i genuinely just had this brainrot over that book and not the promised neverland– i think#that manga/anime is actually based on this book?#kaveh x reader#al haitham x reader#tw: death#tw: sadness#dehya#astronetwrk#this is so low effort but eh hAHAHHA#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact x you#alhaitham x reader
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Shatter.
Draco took the photograph of Harry and he, taken at the seaside, and threw it hard against the wall. The glass shattered, scattering over the carpet, the crash loud in their silent home.
His heart broke alongside it. Today, Harry married Ginny, his decision final. Respectability had triumphed over love.
~
Fifty words.
For @microficmay
#drarry#harry x draco#heartbroken#tw: sadness#sad ending#shatter#fifty words#ladderofyears microfic#microficmay2023
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Since I am still salty about this
Every time I see a Reylo post, I get reminded just how much I hated the ending of TROS, which includes the abrupt change in Rey’s character, so here’s rant & some lists/meta.
I am still very annoyed by Rey's reaction to Ben' death, so here’s a list of 5 times Rey was grieving or was at least extremely concerned about someone’s well-being vs. TROS ending. The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, and The Rise of Skywalker are all there. Daisy Ridley is an amazing actress, and this has nothing to do with her.
I am also including a second list of all the times Rey expressed concern and compassion for Ben, almost all of which were more emotionally intense and satisfying than her reaction to his death.
Rewatching all these scenes has reminded me what a sweet character Rey is; she expresses her emotions so easily and is really in touch with her feelings. The ending of TROS is so out of character for her. Making these lists has also reminded me just how frequently Rey experienced tragedy over the course of the three movies.
I wish Ben lived, of course.
Please keep in mind that a good part of this post talks about character deaths in Star Wars, so please proceed with caution. You might find the content triggering; I have used all the trigger warnings/“tw” tags that I could think of.
Let’s go.
1-2 - TFA
1. Han dies
At this point, Rey barely knows Han (I think she has known him for exactly one day here), and still, this is her reaction to him being stabbed/thrown off the bridge. She gets easily attached to people and that she cares deeply. Rey yells, she cries.
Interestingly, her grief lasts in TFA - this is her returning to the Resistance base after Han’s death:
For contrast, here is Rey returning to the Resistance base after Ben Solo’s death; they had known each other for some time and had a very complex relationship, where they were both vulnerable with each other/bonded through the Force, saved each other’s lives multiple times, and were in love/attracted to each other:
It’s almost scary how quickly she gets over the whole thing.
2. Finn get injured
This scene lasts for a a pretty long time - unlike the segment where Ben disappears/dies and Rey is alone. When it comes to the emotional reaction, while you can argue that Rey is aware that she may die as well (the planet is collapsing), and that that adds to her sadness and concern, it’s still pretty clear that she cares about Finn deeply. She is again crying, and she also starts hugging him almost immediately after she finds him passed out.
Bonus - we can feel the despair in this shot of the gloomy forest:
There was nothing to even symbolically indicate Rey’s profound sadness/loneliness/despair after Ben dies. She does end up alone in a desert, but this is presented both as a happy event and unrelated to her Force dyad soulmate dying. The return to the desert was also awful, but that’s a rant for another time.
This is also a beautiful and very dramatic shot:
This TFA scene would make me think that Rey cares more about Finn, even after knowing him for a very short time and very superficially, than she does about Ben at the end of the trilogy, if I were to compare her “shrug emoji” reaction to this one. However, I would assume that she cares about someone that she shares a connection that spans across space and time and that she is in love with, and a person she met that day, who is admittedly very likeable and who has helped her, in equal measure, at least.
Like with Han, this is Rey still being concerned after they get back to the Resistance base; she is reaching out to see if Finn is alright:
3 - TLJ
3. Luke’s death
Luke dies in this one. Rey talks about it with Leia, and says that it was peaceful and purposeful, which I believe is meant to, in part, explain why they are both not grieving more than this:
Please keep in mind that what I say in this paragraph is completely within the confines of the movies/the narrative and fantasy - it does not apply to real life. I guess that something along those lines could be applied to Ben’s death in TROS - that it was with a purpose - saving Rey. However, I just cannot compare Luke - who had a much longer life and a much less tormented existence overall, and who sacrificed himself to “right the wrong that he did”, which was “creating Kylo Ren” in the first place - dying to save the Resistance, to his nephew dying after he knew happiness for probably the first time in his life, after decades of abuse. A digression, but here is Luke vs. Ben, who is shaking, around the time when they made the decision to sacrifice themselves:
TROS had one of the most depressing movie endings I have ever seen.
4-5 - TROS
4. Rey accidentally zaps the ship that she thought Chewbacca was in
I have no idea how close Rey and Chewbacca are, but here’s how she reacts when she is convinced that Chewie is dead:
5. Leia
Leia dies and Rey senses it in the Force. This is probably the most miserable we ever see Rey. She has just lost her mother figure - it is difficult to watch:
Ok, now Rey expressing concern for Ben:
1. TFA - planet collapsing
This is a subtle one, and she is either concerned (she left Kylo Ren/Ben to die, injured) or she is intrigued by their meeting and is reflecting on it (some third option is a possibility - for example, she noticed a ship come pick him up):
2. TLJ - Ben explains to Rey that Luke tried to kill him
She calls him a liar, and while she might also be crying because she is shocked to learn such a thing and is disappointed in Luke, she is clearly sad about the whole thing:
3. TLJ - Rey is mad that Luke tried to kill Ben
Rey is protective when it comes to the people (and droids) she cares about. You could argue that in this scene she is angry about all the events that stemmed from “Luke creating Kylo Ren”, and that that’s why she is in fight mode. Still, it’s shown that she has developed some feelings for Ben:
4. TLJ - Rey sees Kylo getting strangled during the Throne room fight:
5. TLJ - The “you are breaking my heart! You are going down a path that I can't follow” moment:
6. TROS - Rey healing Ben
While she is still overwhelmed and crying due to Leia’s passing, Rey turns towards Ben (my interpretation is that she is also wondering what his feelings concerning his mother’s death are, due to their strained relationship) and then looks at his wound:
Rey informs Ben that she wanted to take his hand after she is done healing him:
She shifts from grieving for Leia, to grieving the relationship that she could have had with Ben.
7. TROS - Rey realizing Ben has arrived to help her fight Palpatine
I love this moment ^
I think that all of these moments show that Rey does care about Ben, deeply. These are her reactions to events that are not as final as his death.
And finally - Ben dying:
The way this scene is presented, it really seems that Rey is frowning primarily because she is confused - she doesn’t understand why Ben is acting all weird:
Rey when she comprehends that Ben is dead:
That’s it. There is no screaming, crying, trying to hold him, nothing.
And then
She doesn’t even mention Ben dying to anyone (there is no discussing Luke’s death-type scene). I am presuming that she has to bring it up, and fast, since this is also the Supreme Leader who has just died, she is the only one who knows for certain he is dead, and Rey and all her friends are... politically involved, but this probably happens off-screen then.
I could add that Rey holds a sort of a funeral for Leia and Luke (burying the lightsabers), but that she does not do anything similar for Ben.
If you have made it to the end of the post, please let me know what your thoughts are!
Thanks for reading, This has been therapeutic.
I do not own any of the materials used/any of the characters, entertainment purposes only.
#reylo#star wars#avocado meta#meta#still salty#tlj#tfa#tros#rey#ben solo#kylo ren#trigger words#tw: death#tw: character death#tw: sadness#tw: parental death#sw#death#tw death#tw abuse#tw: abuse#tw: grieving#tw: grief#tw grief#tw grieving#moody avocado#the last jedi#the force awakens#the return of skywalker
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Catching up (Platonic Mobius M Mobius x Reader)
Author's Note: here is just a 1k word scene of camaraderie. A bit of Lokius feels.
Misery might love company but good friends lift you up.
Post Season 2
Unbeta'd and barely edited.
Gender neutral for the most part.
Content warnings: loneliness, sadness.
You wave to Mobius as you walk through the restaurant doors. He stands and helps you out of your jacket. You hug. It almost feels normal. But for you, it isn't.
To anyone in the restaurant you look like two friends catching up, or maybe a couple on a date. They couldn't possibly know the reality of your situation.
Mobius gives you a once over as you take the seat he offers you.
“You look stunning,” he says as he sits at the table.
“Oh hush, you’d say that about anything after knowing me only in those beige and brown boring outfits day in and day out for all of time.” You grin. “But you don't look so bad yourself, M. “Especially the tie.”
Mobius grins as he smoothes the deep green tie he had paired with a black suit.
“You would, considering you picked it out.”
“You needed more color in your wardrobe,” you grinned. “And I know you like the color.” You wink. He shakes his head but you don't miss the sad look in his eyes. You reach across the table and squeeze his hand. “I miss ‘em too, M.”
He nods but the waiter arrives and you place your orders.
You talk about the weather and surface topics as the waiter brings your drinks. You tell him how Casey, OB and Timely have been testing a new feature of an alternative power source since the TVA doesn't actually pull energy from the loom like you used too. Sure, OB had stabilized a source not long after the loom failed. But OB was no longer satisfied with a singular source. He wanted back up for back ups.
“That's OB,” Mobius says fondly. “I'm just glad he has help now. It's not all on him.” Mobius gets that look that you know means he’s starting to get lost in his memories.
“So,” you ask. “How’re the boys?” and you have his full attention again.
“They’re good,” he smiles as he thinks about his sons. “A handful, but good.”
“Mischievous, are they?”
“Oh without a doubt,” Mobius chuckles.
You laugh too because of course the people he loves most are chaotic by nature.
“Well, if anyone knows how to handle chaotic energy, it's you, Mobius.” You smile up at the waiter as he brings your entrees.
“How about you? What have you been up to? Last I heard B-15 had you keeping an eye on some of the former TVA workers.”
You nod. “The ones we weren't sure would adjust well, but honestly, most everyone is thriving.”
“Except?”
“Just a couple people,” you try to shrug off details. But he waits you out. “Brad Wolfe is thriving but he's still an erratic idiot, so we keep an eye on him.”
“Probably a good call,” he says between bites of his side salad. “Anyone else setting off that analyst brain of yours?”
You had just taken another bite of your pasta when he asked and you tried not to sigh.
“Like I said, most everyone is doing well. You hear from Sylvie more than I do, and the TVA is still in transition, but we’re doing alright.”
“But?” He asks, because he's Mobius and he knows to read between the lines.
You sigh and set your fork down. Stalling as you take a sip of your drink but he just watches you with a narrowed gaze.
“Mobius,” you start, tone now more serious.
It's his turn to sign. “It's me isn't it, I'm the outlier.”
“You lost more than anyone, Mobius, and that's understandable.”
“You lost your friend too,” he says. You and Loki had been thick as thieves. You worked with the god almost as well as Mobius did. “And D-90.” You and the hunter had been close. How close Mobius had never managed to get out of you, but he knew it broke your heart when you found out Brad pruned him. He was pretty sure that was why you monitored the actor as close as you do. If Brad failed to make use of the life he killed your closest companion for, you'd prune Brad Wolfe yourself.
“The job always had risks,” you say sadly. “It was always a possibility. But before it had a purpose.”
“For all time,” Mobius says.
“Always,” you finish for him.
“Doesn't make it easier,” he says knowingly.
“Still keep expecting him to drop by my desk like nothing has changed.”
“Now you know why I didn't stay,” he points out.
“I knew that already, M.” You start eating again.
“But you need that purpose, don't you?” He asks.
“I didn't have a timeline with people that needed me,” you tell him. “I just monitor you guys now. No variants. It's rare we actually have to intervene these days. Just watching out for Timely’s variants. And thankfully they haven't seemed to notice us yet. But I think that's more…their doing than anyone else's.” You liked to think Loki had a hand in it all.
It's quiet as you both finish your meals.
“You can say their name,” Mobius finally says as dessert arrives. Mobius had predictably gotten key lime pie. “It's alright. I know you're avoiding it for my sake.”
“Last thing I want to do is make it harder on you, M. But to me, it’s…important. I know Loki’s got a bigger role than just protecting the timelines and free will. I just do.”
“How can you be so sure?” He asks.
You study your former colleague and there it was. The doubt and loneliness is written on his face. Unmasked and very real. You reach for his hand again. “Because of the little things. Brighter flowers, my favorite coffee is never out of stock. A pack of cookies I could have sworn weren't there before.” You admit. “Either that or time has finally swiss cheesed my brain and my memory is failing.”
“Maybe it's just wishful thinking,” he says.
“Maybe, but at least this time I get to choose to believe. And I do. Believe in Loki. Always have thanks to you. So, I know you do too.”
________________________
This one if for you guys. @marvelforever352, @welcome--back, @bugbugboy
#loki series fic#mobius m mobius x reader#platonic#platonic mobius x reader#tw: loneliness#tw: sadness#mobius m mobius
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Tumblr I need your help!
My sister was murdered on August 7, 2024. The policeman who came to the crime scene was THE KILLERS FRIEND and told him to stop talking as he was CONFESSING. Please please help me.
Her name is Casey Fulford and I love her so much.
We have a $2,000 reward for anyone who knows where the gun is or has it!
If you live in or near Dauphin Island, Alabama, USA please please please let me know if you know ANYTHING!
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Tw: tramutic memories, bad thoughts, sadness :<
this was Eloise's thoughts when she was 4, when it was her 1st year after Ellen gained full custody of Eloise.
#art#thebekashow#bob velseb#spooky month au#bob velseb au#spooky month bob velseb#spooky month#tw: trauma#tw: sadness#tw: teddy bear abuse#sad thoughts :(
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Location: Reed's Childhood Trailer Home
Closed: @buryeden
The door to his mother's bedroom had remained shut since the moment he had arrived back in his hometown. Reed had avoided the trailer all together in an attempt to circumvent any of the terrible feelings that would inevitably arise. He dealt with her funeral which was nothing more than him and a few friends sharing a drink, her end of life will and everything else. Yet, Reed couldn't get the nerve to go into her room and clean it out of her things. A lonely night drove him to stare down the bottle of whiskey and pop a few benzos he found lying around the trailer to calm his nerves.
Even after all of this, he still couldn't will himself to open that shut door that he avoided so much. The pills made him feel heavy, unable to lift himself off the dingy carpet he had known so well. Even if everything was still the same in his home since he left, it all felt foreign. Reed felt like a trespasser in his own life and he didn't belong here.
Fingers pulled at the fabric below him, trying to find something to hold onto to desperately, but he seemed to fail, just like he failed to save his mother. Rhodes told him this would happen, but selfishly he left without a single care and now had to deal with the fall out. Grasping the bottle of the amber liquid, he damned the cup all together, sipping straight from the source.
In an attempt to do what he felt he couldn't do sober, he crawled towards her bedroom, but before he could open the door his body became heavy, pinned to the floor while his vision blurred and Reed felt like the air out of his lungs were disappearing. He tried to tell himself it was nothing, but his mind already worked itself up. A cry ripped through his chest as he finally allowed himself to feel what he had avoided for the few months he had been back.
#c: rhodes 004#reed: conversation [on the street when i forgot the city breathes when i do not]#tw: drug use#tw: sadness#tw: mental breakdown
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Oh.
Like other trollges, Simia has her own voices in the head, which sometimes drive her into great sadness, raising the surface of her memories.
Although they are rare in appearances, they are strong. She is afraid that she will be alone again without protection and support, which warms her so much among her friends.
But Jhenkins helps her calm down, but not with music, but with the fact that Simia is not alone with him, this will calm her best.
She will be fine)
( idk Imagination plunged into sadness for some reason :< )
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Traitor Brett fic anyone? Rewatched Part 1 and got the idea
Takes place after The Bear-O attacks but before Rand is CEO
Notes: I’m open to request! Just send an as, —-
It was three in the morning. Only two people were left in Cognito building . They were working in the robotic lab. Brett Hand and Reagan Ridley. Two people who had an unbreakable bond. Just a day before, Bear-O had gone insane and they manage to stop him in time
Brett was watching as Reagan was working on a new robot. They finished the new Conigto Model and now Reagan was creating new weapons to help with security. He was leaning against the wall as Reagan tinkered with the tools on her desk.
He had offered to drive Reagan home after she was done. While she denies it he insisted and Reagan let him stay.
"Done!" She shouts jumping out of her chair . She held the little machine in her hand.
"What does it do?" Brett asked walking close to see
"Oh, if we control this guy right now' Grabbing the device on her table the machine moves with her the button she pressed. A canon comes out and bullets shoot the wall
"Wow! That's really cool. Mind if I see the blueprints?"
"Sure! I'm surprised you want to see it. You don't work with machines that much."
"I'm curious that's all"
Reagan took him to the back of the lab. There in the corner of the room was a giant safe with a bunch of locks. Reagan puts the code and opens it. There were a lot of different blue prints and new machinery. Many of them are saying "Important!"
"Here it is." Handing him the blueprint, Brett looked at it. He seemed interested in it and smiled, although a bit of a force. A little confusing as there wasn't anything strange happening that could make him nervous
"Thanks." Giving back the blueprint they go back to work.
"I just need to add the smoke and then bam! No one can see any of us on a mission if they have bullet proof crap." Reagan explained going back to her table. Brett doesn't respond but she shrugs it off. It sounded pretty crazy so she understood if he thought this was pretty unethical.
"So yeah. Maybe give me half an hour and then we can go. Sorry that you had to stay here pretty late. I owe you lunch tomorrow." She continued to talk but Brett still didn't respond . Weird.
"Brett are you-" Before she could turn around, Reagan was blasted into the wall. A sickly crack could be heard as the wall pieces fell on her body. A jagged one hits her side, making her cry in pain.
"Brett..! Where- Are.." Her vision was blurring and the only thing she could see was Brett holding one of her laser guns and staring.
—-
When Reagan managed consciousness , the pain was insufferable. Her body was underneath all the rocks and her side… it was bleeding so much.
She looked up as Brett held a bunch of blueprints and stuffing them into a bag.
"What..? Brett what the hell are you doing!" Reagan yelled as best as she could. The blood loss made her dizzy. Brett stops and looks at her. His face was full of fear.
"Reagan.. I'm- sorry but I have to do this.” He responded, slinging the bag over his arm.
“What.. Why?! What are you even doing?!” Brett looked away. His phone suddenly rings and he picks it.
“Did you get them, Hand? Brett nods ” A voice that knew Reagan knew. Dietrich Kluge. The Illuminati Leader. Their rival company.
“I told you working with us would be wonderful. All those inventions will help us. Isn’t it better than those snobbish Cognito dipshits. You took down that scientist lady right?”
Brett stares at the phone and back at her and mumbles a yes. Reagan felt like she was dying. Brett was a fucking mole. He was working with Illuminati.. and he came here just to steal blueprints and whatever inventions she made. But she didn’t care about any of that. All that was in her mind was that her friend betrayed her.
“Come back, Hand. We’ll reward you nicely. You don’t need to be at the company anymore.” The phone hangs up and Brett walks to the door. He was going to leave her.. she was going to be alone again.
“Brett! You fucking traitor!” He turned around at the scream. All that time spent together… meant nothing. It was just.. a fake relationship . Now here they are. Reagan tried to move but her arms felt heavy and her legs.. she couldn’t feel them. All she could do was look at him angrily.
“Why?! Why?! Why?!” Reagan yelled repeatedly. “WHY WOULD YOU?!”
“Reagan.. they.. helped me so much . I had to help them because.. they’re…. my family.”
Her face dropped at everything he was saying. She gritted her teeth and her hands turned into fist
“Your.. family..? Did the GANG mean nothing? Did everything we did together mean nothing? All those mission and getting drunk?” Brett closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about it. Maybe he could quickly go and he wouldn’t have to-
“Did I matter..?” Brett’s eyes widened at that statement. It hit something in him and Reagan continues.
“Our fucking relationship.. God we were two mentally ill fucks up that had shitty families. I hated you on the first day but.. no one treated me as well as you did.. Those movie nights.. talk.. staying with me no matter what.. Did it mean anything! Because I loved you so much..”
Tears stream down Reagan’s face. She didn’t want to cry but all of this was so much. Anger, sadness, pain.. the familiar loneliness she went through as a child. The faint memory of Brett helping her at a dance. How did that happen and why was she okay with it..
Brett doesn’t respond and wipes the tears off his face. He didn’t want to see this. Reagan was the first relationship he had in.. forever that didn’t have someone use him. Hearing her this upset.. at him especially.., it broke his heart and mind.
“I’m.. so sorry Reagan..” He started but was cut off
“No.. you’re fucking not! You shot me! Here I am, bleeding my whole head off and I can’t even move! How..? How am I supposed to be a CEO? How am I supposed to work?! HOW CAN I GET YOU BACK?!”
Silence. They didn’t know what to say to each other. They both were staring at each other with tears. Brett takes a deep breath
“I’m sorry.. I.. hope you.. will be..a good CEO ..and..” He turns back to the door.
ran out of her lab, not bothering to finish . Reagan couldn’t believe it. Everything happened. She lost Brett.. The only person she could open up to. The only people who liked being around her no matter what mood she was in. All the time spent together floods her mind and she breaks.
.She was alone now.. injured and terrified. Who knew when someone would find her before she died of blood loss and even if they did, it wouldn’t replace the pain. She was so fucking angry Brett and herself. Maybe if she did something, he would have stayed.
All Reagan could do was scream in anguish
#inside job#inside job fanfic#reagan ridley#brett hand#angst#tw: injury#tw: sadness#tw:blood#Brett Traitor Au
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All of my Thoughts for The Bad Batch Season Two Episode Twelve
Dude, my heart is hurting.
Crosshair was trying to protect and save Mayday. He cared about him. He tried so hard to keep him alive. He talked about not carrying dead weight, yet he still tried to save Mayday. He was so upset when Mayday died, and was even more upset that Lieutenant Nolan didn't do anything to save him.
And I honestly never thought that I'd say this, but Lieutenant Nolan kind of makes me miss Rampart.
And when the scientist lady asked Crosshair if he preferred the name Crosshair to CT-9904, I was like; "Ooh, okay, I like you. You seem to respect clones." But then she started saying stuff about how Crosshair should cooperate and I was like; "Never mind, I don't like you."
Also, when Nolan was asking Mayday why he was just standing around, I was like; "It's called grieving, something that nobody will be doing when you die!"
I was also screaming at Crosshair the entire episode to kill Nolan, and then he did it, so that makes me feel a little bit better.
Also, the part where they were telling Crosshair and Mayday that raiders were attacking The Outpost, I was like; "....did they get the Lieutenant?" I also really wanted someone to sacrifice the Lieutenant to the birds.
I thought it was really interesting how Crosshair's facial expressions seemed more concerned and not as "I want to kill everyone" like. I don't know, I just thought that was neat.
I think I've made it pretty obvious that I hate Lieutenant Nolan with a burning passion.
#my thoughts are all over the place#the bad batch spoilers#the bad batch season 2 spoilers#spoilers#spoiler alert#tbb spoilers#spoliers#tw: violent language#tw: violence#tw: sadness#i am angy#and sad#crosshair the bad batch#the bad batch crosshair#tbb crosshair#crosshair tbb#bad batch crosshair#crosshair bad batch#crosshair#clone commando crosshair#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#star wars
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My mom has a new job in Bogota and now she's making me choose between leaving this week with her so she doesn't have to pay for the apartment bills or leaving in a month. Either way I have no choice but to go.
And I'm so sad now, it's a huge chance I don't know if I'm ready
#2023 keeps throwing bricks at me#when I finally think I'm getting a hang of it#turns out I'm not and stuff happens#I always wanted to live in bogota but not with so much pressure#I'm making peace with so many stuff finally feeling good about things and now I have to let it all go#fuck#tw: sadness#im sad lol#ari talks
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And I’m sorry I’ve been really bad at engaging and at updating and at writing. I just….can’t right now. This month doesn’t feel good for me and I’m not doing so hot and I’m just trying to manage to be a person.
I miss being creative and writing and talking to people and all the things that used to bring me joy but I’m not free to do any of that right now.
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this is a tough week, and mentally i am drained and i just got my period. it’s not technically due but endometriosis is a bitch and i bleed between periods and i know this happens and my stupid ass didn’t buy any extra period products and there aren’t any in my house and it’s 11:27 at night and i just don’t know what to do.
i am a fucking idiot.
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Baked with love, doomed for compost :’(
#drawing#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital art#procreate#character design#mold tw#I got sad after drawing this wtf#he just wants to be sandwich….
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08.05 / within
I can't seem to find beauty within myself so I look for it everywhere. And I have been crying over beautiful things, when I see them and I hear them and when I cannot render that feeling to share it with someone.
The sky has made me cry before, and the laugh of a child, and the love of a couple. And the sun itself. I've cried over the expansion of the universe and many other things, insignificant and not.
I am not sure what it is I'm trying to say here. There lies my issue I guess, I can't find beauty within myself and when I do catch a glimpse of it somewhere I have no words, no proof, nothing to explain or show for it. That makes me immensely sad.
#thoughts on thoughts 💭#writing#a bit dramatic with this one innit#putting words together#i'm just forcing myself to write atm#maybe i'll win against the blank page syndrome idfk#hope nobody's reading this far into the tags bc tbfh i am sad as hell atm#every time i write it feels excruciating and i hate every word and i'm hoping if i keep at it i won't be as sad but it's nooooot doing that#tw: sadness#sadness#if i stop writing then the fuck else am i good for? i don't know how to do anything
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