#Tw: sadness

[ask-court-genshin]

Not anything related to events whatsoever but imagine growing up with Kaveh and Al Haitham in an orphanage.

The three of you are inseparable. Although none of you had reached the world outside the Akademiya, your close-knit group was more than enough mental stimulation for your young mind.

You don't remember a lot about your childhood enough, but you'll never dare forget these two. You enjoyed playing with the two boys, often teaming up with Al Haitham to assign Kaveh as a family dog or making Al Haitham play lazy roles like "the tree that stands outside a castle". There was never any need to know any other faces than the people you've seen throughout your childhood, and you've never wanted to cross the outside bother.

That was all until third grade when one day, your teacher gloomily walks to class, dropping a few of their papers, sloppily picking them up before sitting down. Every child sees her as a guardian. It was clear to everyone that Miss Rukkha had been having a particularly rough patch that week, and then she asked you all a question:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Numerous voices– dreams filled the room, bright. Nilou said she wanted to be a dancer– you've heard Dehya speak of becoming an adventurer of sorts that protects her friends– and Kaveh proudly stated that he'll become an architect worthy of expanding the orphanage.

But Miss Rukkha laughed somberly.

"I'm sorry, children, but much like a seed expected to be grown and plucked as a beautiful rose–" she breathed, the pain evident in her voice.

"The truth is, we will see no fruition to those dreams, for you are created and raised to be harvested– with the time for wilting stolen from you." Miss Rukkha sobbed. "You will never see what becoming old is like. We have reared you in for the potential of your organ donations, and to this day, we cannot even tell if you children are human."

Miss Rukkha gazed at Al Haitham specifically.

"Even with my age–" she laughed again, although joking, her chuckle remained hollow. "I still can't tell. I still can't tell if clones are just like us– just like me."

Your teacher slowly skimmed through the papers, seeing Kaveh's crayon drawings. The colors are vibrant and the strokes were masterful: befitting of a genetically enhanced child.

Memories are a fragile thing, but it's not particularly forgiving when it comes to phrases that will haunt you.

"Do any of you have any real souls and dreams at all, or am I fighting for my delusions...?"

You don't have anyone in life anymore. They've all "completed" the goal they were assigned to. Now in your thirties, you've gotten yourself a rather unsurprising occupation as the "carer". You've convinced yourself this was the job for you since it helps you look after the clones who will donate their organs until they inevitably pass.

But it does have it's empty moments. Sometimes, you'd take a good look at the drawings Kaveh had done. You wished you had better momentos to keep Al Haitham in your mind, but perhaps his faulty earphones is enough for you to hold on to.

"Miss Dehya, are you ready?"

She sighed.

"(Y/n), you know this is my last donation..."

"I know, I know..." You nodded politely. "I'm sorry."

"Just– just shut it." This was Dehya, that was by no means impolite. Being blunt was her weapon of choice to protect herself.

...

"Say, (Y/n)," she looked down. "When's your... You know..."

"In October 13th."

Dehya immediately jolted up.

"On the same day?!–"

"On the same day Kaveh and Al Haitham had theirs in 2021 and 2022 respectively, correct."

"These people are demented."

Dehya didn't know you three chose this date.

"At least they're people." You smiled. "We're just clones, after all."

"But it don't feel that way, don't it?"

You didn't say a word.

...

"... Will you be fine?" She asked.

"I'll be fine– and you will be fine." You took her hand. "Because..."

"Why are you crying?" Al Haitham bends down, looking down at you. He was slightly taller, but with you on the ground it seemed as though he was towering you. "Are you sad because we're clones?"

"Of course they're sad about that, you idiot!!!" Kaveh smacked his head. "Who wouldn't?!"

Al Haitham didn't seem to mind as much as anyone else, and perhaps that's precisely why Miss Rukkha gazed at him.

"But what exactly are you sad about?"

"I-I–" you choked out, mid-tears. "I wanted to be with you two!!! I wanted to be with you and Kaveh for much longer!!!"

Kaveh's lips trembled. "(Y/n)..."

Al Haitham frowned. He knelt down to your level.

He hugged you.

"I see."

Al Haitham pulled away. "How about this: why don't we all complete our final donations on the same day?"

"We can't," Kaveh frowned. "I'm older than you guys by two years..."

"If we can't do it in the same year, then let's pick a date." Al Haitham proposed. "This way, we'll still feel a bit closer."

He wiped your cheeks roughly. "How does that sound?"

You sniffled.

Kaveh, knowing that Al Haitham's idea doesn't sound particularly comforting, knelt down beside him and took your hand.

"Hey, hey, you'll be okay– we'll be okay– wanna know why? Because..."

"Because even though we're having a hard time leaving– we're not meant for this world. Our dream life is somewhere up there, on a castle in the sky, where there's a lush green tree that lazily sways and a happy golden retriever waiting for us to come home."

[rpmemelibrary]

[ladderofyears]

Shatter.

Draco took the photograph of Harry and he, taken at the seaside, and threw it hard against the wall. The glass shattered, scattering over the carpet, the crash loud in their silent home.

His heart broke alongside it. Today, Harry married Ginny, his decision final. Respectability had triumphed over love.

~

Fifty words.

For @microficmay

[mycrazylittleship]

Tumblr I need your help!

My sister was murdered on August 7, 2024. The policeman who came to the crime scene was THE KILLERS FRIEND and told him to stop talking as he was CONFESSING. Please please help me.

Her name is Casey Fulford and I love her so much.

We have a $2,000 reward for anyone who knows where the gun is or has it!

If you live in or near Dauphin Island, Alabama, USA please please please let me know if you know ANYTHING!

[moody-avocado]

Since I am still salty about this

Every time I see a Reylo post, I get reminded just how much I hated the ending of TROS, which includes the abrupt change in Rey’s character, so here’s rant & some lists/meta.

I am still very annoyed by Rey's reaction to Ben' death, so here’s a list of 5 times Rey was grieving or was at least extremely concerned about someone’s well-being vs. TROS ending. The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, and The Rise of Skywalker are all there. Daisy Ridley is an amazing actress, and this has nothing to do with her.

I am also including a second list of all the times Rey expressed concern and compassion for Ben, almost all of which were more emotionally intense and satisfying than her reaction to his death.

Rewatching all these scenes has reminded me what a sweet character Rey is; she expresses her emotions so easily and is really in touch with her feelings. The ending of TROS is so out of character for her. Making these lists has also reminded me just how frequently Rey experienced tragedy over the course of the three movies.

I wish Ben lived, of course.

Please keep in mind that a good part of this post talks about character deaths in Star Wars, so please proceed with caution. You might find the content triggering; I have used all the trigger warnings/“tw” tags that I could think of.

Let’s go.

1-2 - TFA

1. Han dies

At this point, Rey barely knows Han (I think she has known him for exactly one day here), and still, this is her reaction to him being stabbed/thrown off the bridge. She gets easily attached to people and that she cares deeply. Rey yells, she cries.

Interestingly, her grief lasts in TFA - this is her returning to the Resistance base after Han’s death:

For contrast, here is Rey returning to the Resistance base after Ben Solo’s death; they had known each other for some time and had a very complex relationship, where they were both vulnerable with each other/bonded through the Force, saved each other’s lives multiple times, and were in love/attracted to each other:

It’s almost scary how quickly she gets over the whole thing.

2. Finn get injured

This scene lasts for a a pretty long time - unlike the segment where Ben disappears/dies and Rey is alone. When it comes to the emotional reaction, while you can argue that Rey is aware that she may die as well (the planet is collapsing), and that that adds to her sadness and concern, it’s still pretty clear that she cares about Finn deeply. She is again crying, and she also starts hugging him almost immediately after she finds him passed out.

Bonus - we can feel the despair in this shot of the gloomy forest:

There was nothing to even symbolically indicate Rey’s profound sadness/loneliness/despair after Ben dies. She does end up alone in a desert, but this is presented both as a happy event and unrelated to her Force dyad soulmate dying. The return to the desert was also awful, but that’s a rant for another time.

This is also a beautiful and very dramatic shot:

This TFA scene would make me think that Rey cares more about Finn, even after knowing him for a very short time and very superficially, than she does about Ben at the end of the trilogy, if I were to compare her “shrug emoji” reaction to this one. However, I would assume that she cares about someone that she shares a connection that spans across space and time and that she is in love with, and a person she met that day, who is admittedly very likeable and who has helped her, in equal measure, at least.

Like with Han, this is Rey still being concerned after they get back to the Resistance base; she is reaching out to see if Finn is alright:

3 - TLJ

3. Luke’s death

Luke dies in this one. Rey talks about it with Leia, and says that it was peaceful and purposeful, which I believe is meant to, in part, explain why they are both not grieving more than this:

Please keep in mind that what I say in this paragraph is completely within the confines of the movies/the narrative and fantasy - it does not apply to real life. I guess that something along those lines could be applied to Ben’s death in TROS - that it was with a purpose - saving Rey. However, I just cannot compare Luke - who had a much longer life and a much less tormented existence overall, and who sacrificed himself to “right the wrong that he did”, which was “creating Kylo Ren” in the first place - dying to save the Resistance, to his nephew dying after he knew happiness for probably the first time in his life, after decades of abuse. A digression, but here is Luke vs. Ben, who is shaking, around the time when they made the decision to sacrifice themselves:

TROS had one of the most depressing movie endings I have ever seen.

4-5 - TROS

4. Rey accidentally zaps the ship that she thought Chewbacca was in

I have no idea how close Rey and Chewbacca are, but here’s how she reacts when she is convinced that Chewie is dead:

5. Leia

Leia dies and Rey senses it in the Force. This is probably the most miserable we ever see Rey. She has just lost her mother figure - it is difficult to watch:

Ok, now Rey expressing concern for Ben:

1. TFA - planet collapsing

This is a subtle one, and she is either concerned (she left Kylo Ren/Ben to die, injured) or she is intrigued by their meeting and is reflecting on it (some third option is a possibility - for example, she noticed a ship come pick him up):

2. TLJ - Ben explains to Rey that Luke tried to kill him

She calls him a liar, and while she might also be crying because she is shocked to learn such a thing and is disappointed in Luke, she is clearly sad about the whole thing:

3. TLJ - Rey is mad that Luke tried to kill Ben

Rey is protective when it comes to the people (and droids) she cares about. You could argue that in this scene she is angry about all the events that stemmed from “Luke creating Kylo Ren”, and that that’s why she is in fight mode. Still, it’s shown that she has developed some feelings for Ben:

4. TLJ - Rey sees Kylo getting strangled during the Throne room fight:

5. TLJ - The “you are breaking my heart! You are going down a path that I can't follow” moment:

6. TROS - Rey healing Ben

While she is still overwhelmed and crying due to Leia’s passing, Rey turns towards Ben (my interpretation is that she is also wondering what his feelings concerning his mother’s death are, due to their strained relationship) and then looks at his wound:

Rey informs Ben that she wanted to take his hand after she is done healing him:

She shifts from grieving for Leia, to grieving the relationship that she could have had with Ben.

7. TROS - Rey realizing Ben has arrived to help her fight Palpatine

I love this moment ^

I think that all of these moments show that Rey does care about Ben, deeply. These are her reactions to events that are not as final as his death.

And finally - Ben dying:

The way this scene is presented, it really seems that Rey is frowning primarily because she is confused - she doesn’t understand why Ben is acting all weird:

Rey when she comprehends that Ben is dead:

That’s it. There is no screaming, crying, trying to hold him, nothing.

And then

She doesn’t even mention Ben dying to anyone (there is no discussing Luke’s death-type scene). I am presuming that she has to bring it up, and fast, since this is also the Supreme Leader who has just died, she is the only one who knows for certain he is dead, and Rey and all her friends are... politically involved, but this probably happens off-screen then.

I could add that Rey holds a sort of a funeral for Leia and Luke (burying the lightsabers), but that she does not do anything similar for Ben.

If you have made it to the end of the post, please let me know what your thoughts are!

Thanks for reading, This has been therapeutic.

I do not own any of the materials used/any of the characters, entertainment purposes only.

[rippinsinners]

Location: Reed's Childhood Trailer Home

Closed: @buryeden

The door to his mother's bedroom had remained shut since the moment he had arrived back in his hometown. Reed had avoided the trailer all together in an attempt to circumvent any of the terrible feelings that would inevitably arise. He dealt with her funeral which was nothing more than him and a few friends sharing a drink, her end of life will and everything else. Yet, Reed couldn't get the nerve to go into her room and clean it out of her things. A lonely night drove him to stare down the bottle of whiskey and pop a few benzos he found lying around the trailer to calm his nerves.

Even after all of this, he still couldn't will himself to open that shut door that he avoided so much. The pills made him feel heavy, unable to lift himself off the dingy carpet he had known so well. Even if everything was still the same in his home since he left, it all felt foreign. Reed felt like a trespasser in his own life and he didn't belong here.

Fingers pulled at the fabric below him, trying to find something to hold onto to desperately, but he seemed to fail, just like he failed to save his mother. Rhodes told him this would happen, but selfishly he left without a single care and now had to deal with the fall out. Grasping the bottle of the amber liquid, he damned the cup all together, sipping straight from the source.

In an attempt to do what he felt he couldn't do sober, he crawled towards her bedroom, but before he could open the door his body became heavy, pinned to the floor while his vision blurred and Reed felt like the air out of his lungs were disappearing. He tried to tell himself it was nothing, but his mind already worked itself up. A cry ripped through his chest as he finally allowed himself to feel what he had avoided for the few months he had been back.

[creepymarshmallow3]

Oh.

Like other trollges, Simia has her own voices in the head, which sometimes drive her into great sadness, raising the surface of her memories.

Although they are rare in appearances, they are strong. She is afraid that she will be alone again without protection and support, which warms her so much among her friends.

But Jhenkins helps her calm down, but not with music, but with the fact that Simia is not alone with him, this will calm her best.

She will be fine)

( idk Imagination plunged into sadness for some reason :< )

[lunarninja613]

All of my Thoughts for The Bad Batch Season Two Episode Twelve

Dude, my heart is hurting.

Crosshair was trying to protect and save Mayday. He cared about him. He tried so hard to keep him alive. He talked about not carrying dead weight, yet he still tried to save Mayday. He was so upset when Mayday died, and was even more upset that Lieutenant Nolan didn't do anything to save him.

And I honestly never thought that I'd say this, but Lieutenant Nolan kind of makes me miss Rampart.

And when the scientist lady asked Crosshair if he preferred the name Crosshair to CT-9904, I was like; "Ooh, okay, I like you. You seem to respect clones." But then she started saying stuff about how Crosshair should cooperate and I was like; "Never mind, I don't like you."

Also, when Nolan was asking Mayday why he was just standing around, I was like; "It's called grieving, something that nobody will be doing when you die!"

I was also screaming at Crosshair the entire episode to kill Nolan, and then he did it, so that makes me feel a little bit better.

Also, the part where they were telling Crosshair and Mayday that raiders were attacking The Outpost, I was like; "....did they get the Lieutenant?" I also really wanted someone to sacrifice the Lieutenant to the birds.

I thought it was really interesting how Crosshair's facial expressions seemed more concerned and not as "I want to kill everyone" like. I don't know, I just thought that was neat.

I think I've made it pretty obvious that I hate Lieutenant Nolan with a burning passion.

[ariiiloves]

My mom has a new job in Bogota and now she's making me choose between leaving this week with her so she doesn't have to pay for the apartment bills or leaving in a month. Either way I have no choice but to go.

And I'm so sad now, it's a huge chance I don't know if I'm ready

[one-time-i-dreamt]

@pukicho was killed while wearing a Pikachu suit, and it was announced on this blog.

[feefal]

Baked with love, doomed for compost :’(

[emotionaleating]

when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again

[xaospoiesis]

08.05 / within

I can't seem to find beauty within myself so I look for it everywhere. And I have been crying over beautiful things, when I see them and I hear them and when I cannot render that feeling to share it with someone.

The sky has made me cry before, and the laugh of a child, and the love of a couple. And the sun itself. I've cried over the expansion of the universe and many other things, insignificant and not.

I am not sure what it is I'm trying to say here. There lies my issue I guess, I can't find beauty within myself and when I do catch a glimpse of it somewhere I have no words, no proof, nothing to explain or show for it. That makes me immensely sad.

[poempoetryandmore]

[eccedentesiast-skies]

You’ve grown into someone who would have protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you made.

[injuredsoullessfrog]