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samlacy · 2 years ago

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Your only flaw is that you’re flawless

yes the title is from a the neighborhood song bc I love them sm.

words: 2.6k

contains: pure angst, inaccurate Hobie, cheater Hobie, gender neutral!reader, feeling description, kind of manipulative Hobie, mental breakdowns, depressive state

REMEMBER THIS IS ALL FICTION, I KNOW HOBIE WOULD NEVER ACT LIKE THIS!!!

requests are open :))

One by One, rain dropped on the closed car window. Drop by drop, another tear spilled out of your eyes. Sound by Sound, your body got weaker and you felt like curling into a complete ball.

Lucky enough, there were no thunderstorms that made you shock your body every once a while. Instead of that, it was dead silent. Only the rain falling down, making a splash sound was to be heard. Followed with the sobs of your own.

The car was turned off and in parking mode. No engine working. You were sitting in the drivers seat, crying your feelings away. As if crying helped you with anything.

In the backseat were those oh-so-sweet handwritten letters from you, they were kinda creased since you had a deathly grip on them back there. An used-to-be beautiful red and pink bouquet of flowers was laying there, but it sadly was ruined by the heavy rain and some leaves dropped down on the street while you were running with heavy breaths leaving your mouth.

Why were you crying?

Joy overfilled you as the sun almost was setting, you had handwritten letters and a rose bouquet in your hands. You styled your hair and wore the fanciest clothes your lover Hobie loved.

You were absolutely excited about meeting him in the restaurant you booked a reservation for. It was a four star restaurant, which was quite expensive, but totally worth it!

The car was parked by the park in front of the restaurant, where it was hidden behind the trees.

With a heavy breath and a big smile you entered the restaurant. You walked along the long hallway before stopping by a lady behind the counter.

She seems nice, were your thoughts before spoke up to her.

“Hello, I had a reservation under the name (Your Lastname)”, The lady took a glance at you before looking back at the computer and typing something.

Your fingers were on the high counter and tapped it patiently as your eyes drifted into the beauty of the place. It was huge and had a gold & white theme.

Almost like a whole Palace.

“Here, go straight across and there will be a big door. From there on you can find your table”, she hands out a number that let you through the security, as she nods and grins.

You smile back before heading to the instruction she gave you. Since no one was there in the hallways, you decided to skip your way to the door.

Nothing wrong with letting out your inner-child, right?

You reached the door, pushing onto it to open. It was as heavy as it seemed like. With the strength you had, you went through and were fascinated by the amount of people plus how pretty it was here.

Not wasting much time, you made sure to find your table. For your luck, you found it and Hobie was sitting there. Not alone though.

There was a waitress, what you assume, hanging around him. She ran her hands all over his shoulders as she was rubbing and getting too close to his face.

At first, you thought she tried to hit on him, but Hobie would for sure push her away!

Or so you thought.

The sight was shocking, not in a good way at all.

Hobie pulled her by the necktie as he whispered into her ear and she clearly blushed and whispered back.

Hobie moved his seat back, stood up and took her with him, somewhere you don’t even want to know about.

All that happened in one singular minute.

The wine glasses on the table showed he was probably drunk and wouldn’t remember this by the next day, but they were full. Not even half empty, completely full.

You didn’t feel the tears fall down, your hands creasing the fresh letters and the shaking of your body making the leaves on the roses slowly fall down.

A voice came closer, triggering you.

“Mx, are you okay?”, it was gentle and with worry, but your heart was aching so bad.

With no words you ran out. The once heavy door seeming completely featherweight, as you pushed yourself through and ran. Just ran.

Out of the restaurant to the park, running as much as you could. The ache in your lungs getting close to the pain in your heart. Good, that was what you were going for.

You couldn’t think of doing anything else than running as fast as you could. No matter how many times you almost tripped over.

It all came to an end when rain started to pour, your car in your viewpoint and breathing was hurting.

Was your flaw of being flawless too much that Hobie had to cheat?

It felt like someone was stabbing you everywhere, multiple times with no mercy. As if someone ripped your organs out and forced you to swallow them.

Again and again.

Non-stop.

You grabbed your car keys and opened the car, before storming in and throwing the roses and letters into the backseat.

Doors slammed shut as you opened the air conditioner. One punch was enough for you to relax, but of course your car doesn’t deserve it.

It did nothing, but what did you do for him to do this?

Seriously, what have you NOT done?

Your screams and whines with full anger stopped as the tears started rolling again, unstoppable. Sob after sob, cry after cry.

You tried wriping them away with your hands, but it was useless as you only cried more and more.

Your breathing was abnormal and shakey, you couldn’t even speak if you tried to, everything was too much.

The styled hair you put some much time on and the fancy clothes you thought of wearing because Hobie liked it were all soaked. With the rain and your own tears.

You didn’t put a lot of make up on since Hobie didn’t like it, but it all was smushed making you for sure look like a drug addict.

Not much spent, you turned on the engine and drove to your apartment, which you gladly didn’t share with Hobie. Even though you two talked about moving in together for months.

I guess it was all talk and no do.

You took your shoes off as fast as you could, fast walking to your bedroom as you threw yourself on the XL twin bed. It didn’t matter anymore that everything would get wet, nothing mattered.

The uncomfortable sticky feeling of the clothes sticking on your body was quite annoying for you, so you decided to finally stand up from your depressed state and change into a pair of hoodie and joggers, with new socks.

You can shower tomorrow, right now you begged for sleep just to forget you even exist for a while. That anything exists.

If there even is a god up there, may it please be in a good mood so you can get over Hobie as quick as possible.

Multiple missed calls and messages ringed on your phone, waking you up from the comfortable state you were in, which changed into a bad aura.

With a huge annoyed sigh you opened your eyes with the slightest to check who was annoying on 9am in the morning.

Hoboo<33

Babe

Where are you?

Babyyyyy

My boo whats wrong???

*send 9:47pm

Answer me, what the fuck is wrong???

I’m coming over

open the door when I’m there

*send 8:56am

Asshole. That was the only word that went through your mind as you put your phone into ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode and left to go to the bathroom.

Usually you always ate breakfast before going to the bathroom, but this time you felt like not eating anything in the morning. The appetite wasn’t there.

The lights of the bathroom flickered before brighting up the small space and make your eyes hurt.

You splashed cold water on your face after the whole brushing teeth and mouth cleansing stuff. Even if you went to a depressive state, it did not mean you couldn’t take care of yourself.

Right when you were leaving the bathroom, a harsh knock was on the door. Not even a knock, straight up a banging sound.

As the dumbass you are, you walked to open it. Seriously did you forget the ‘don’t open the door to strangers’ rule? And to top it all you forgot that Hobie was coming over.

The so called stranger was Hobie when you opened the door by the slightest. As soon as you realized with wide eyes and made eye contact, you tried slamming the door shut on his face, just for the effort to go to waste by a harsh push from the other side.

Hobie barged in, making you let go and step back while he closed the door behind him. Not even bothering to take off his shoes.

“Leave”, were the only words you were able to let out, with a disappointing mumble voice.

“Why?” he sighed before continuing, “What did I do wrong, Why did you ignore my messages, love?”

There was that sweet raspy voice. The sweet voice you would just dream of ending with one punch, as much as it would make your heartache worse after.

None of you spoke as the silence increased. It wasn’t those romcom silence where it had something comforting in it, instead it was those ones that made you blast music to the full volume as long as it meant you wouldn’t hear the other person even breathe.

“Are you seriously crying?” this time it was obviously mockingly, enough for you to snap as you tried to push him out the apartment.

“Please, just leave. I don’t wanna do this, leave!”, your voice went high pitched at the end, shocking hobie that you snapped at him.

Your pushes didn’t make him move one inch. But after a while Hobie tried moving a little to give you the satisfaction of you actually moving him.

The hoodie wasn’t holding you warm anymore as you bursted into more tears, clearly sobbing loudly. You tried swinging your fists against his chest, instead getting held by your wrists with his cold hands equally to his cold heart. Yet they felt so comforting.

You really were a freak, huh.

He pulled you into a hug, warm enough to make you cry more and more. Breath shakey and unable to breathe almost. Eyes swollen from all the crying.

Your fists were on his chest, still trying to push away, break out of the overwhelming comfort. The unwanted comfort. Yet your body wanted it more than anything.

“Baby, tell me what happened, let me fix it, please” Hobie broke the silence as he laid his chin on top of your head. Shushing you.

“P-please.. Just leave, please”, with a sigh Hobie gave up and let go of you, clearly not wanna deal with this any further. You step one step away as you avoided eye contact.

He walked back to the door and left it slamming, with no last words. Silence again, the not so comforting silence.

You hated it the most, you would rather have kids screaming here instead of this lonely silence. Anything to make you feel alive and live life.

Were you asking for too much?

‘But isn’t that too risky?’

‘Just believe me’….

A kids show ran in front of you on the TV as you sat down and watched it with no complaints. Usually you couldn’t change it with Hobie since he is the one who can choose what to watch, but now you are alone.

Maybe forever or temporary.

Who knows? But you for sure have an assume.

You couldn’t dare touching the TV remote by a fear taking you over. You didn’t know why or what that fear was.

It was just,

there.

Same for the feelings you still have about Hobie. Anyone by now would have gotten over it and plan a revenge. But you didn’t feel like moving at all. You only ate a sandwich from a friend that was sitting in the fridge.

For the past hours you were also just sleeping as you kept going through the memories.

The time where Hobie stood in front of your doorway with your favorite candy and a bag full of your favorite sodas.

It made you so happy, fill up with joy, just the thought made you smile in your head.

Even though he threatened to leave just because you refused to have a quickie for the night.

But that wasn’t Hobie right? He would never do that!

It’s all in your head, of course it is.

Same with how yesterday you were in the restaurant all happy and joyful just to find out he was cheating on you.

Maybe it was a misunderstanding? But the grip he had on her waist as his eyes fixated on her body, and the way he dragged her to the direction of the bathroom.

Were you genuinely overreacting or was this all valid?

Please, god above, help this poor soul.

‘I love this coffee type!’

‘Seriously? I hate it!’

You were sitting in a coffee shop after 6 days of rotting at home. Till now you had no messages or ideas of how Hobie is doing.

Other than that, you finally decided to go outside and maybe look if that would help you relax and move on.

You didn’t even really know if y’all broke up, but either way you felt like, breaking up.

Just throwing him away like he did to you.

Even if it meant regretting it for a few days or weeks while your heart aches non stop.

Even if it meant having to throw out or give the stuff back he seems to give you, even though he never let you touch them or wear them.

You sighed once again before sipping on the Latte you got. It did not taste the same, it was rather, sweet? The other times when Hobie recommended it, it was spicy and kinda burned.

Whatever, it doesn’t have to do with anything.

“Please, Let me in. I just wanna talk, love”, Hobie was talking to you from outside of the door, as you stopped yourself from crying in front of it.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you had to snap now or later.

“Fucking leave me alone, asshole! You weren’t this nice when cheating on me. I was so happy and reserved the restaurant for us two and bought you presents. Just to see you hook up with some woman like a total slut! Fuck you”, you screamed at the top of your lungs as you fell on your knees and laid your head between your arms, almost curling into a ball.

Dead silence. As expected, it was always that uncomfortable silence that made you feel like puke all over the floor and punish yourself for being so disgusting.

“I did not know. Baby, come out. Let’s talk, I can do it good for you”, he tries once again, like always. What does he not try? Probably murder. Since you are not worth getting his hands dirty.

“Fuck off before I call the police”, you say mid sobs, trying your best to show up dominant, just to sound whiney instead.

Hobie sighs loud enough for you to hear it and just want to punch him in the head with full force. Hopefully letting him get a brain damage.

“I’m sorry, just call me when you wanna talk. This will not be my last time coming here”, he promises before disappearing into the dark alleyways of the midnight.

You were on your knees with hands on the floor holding you up straight as you cried your heart out. The heart ache was getting worse by time as you couldn’t hold in everything anymore.

Why are break ups so disgustingly hard to do?

If only you could let it slide by a snap and go on with your life. Hopefully your healing journey would go well as Hobie finally disappeared.

Ready to start a new chapter and try to be less submissive and easy to manipulate.

Your only flaw being flawless was surely a way of others finding a flaw on you.

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