#Tobi who is acting like Madara but is actually just obito

[thevirtualvalentine]

000. NARUTO, OBITO UCHIHA.

content warnings: (rough) face fucking, tobi who uses his madara impression on you, afab / femme reader, tbh he’s kinda mean, reader wants this guy bad, fatdicked!obito (real),

plot: you fuck around and find out with Tobi, they say curiosity killed the cat.

Can you imagine hanging around the akatsuki, for some reason you’re like .. really attached (attracted) to the goofy guy in the mask that’s just so silly and kinda a joy to be around. He’s real sweet to you and overall a lot different than the other cloaked members you’d met, he talks a bunch too! It helps to fill the more quiet spaces in your life.

You start trying to hold his hand, he’s pretty skittish at first. Pulling away and retracting before he’s the one initiating the touch with you in full force. Grabbing onto you or jumping into your arms when mean n’ grumpy Deidara yells at him for being a shitty partner and a sasori replacement. “Y/n!! Save me! Deidara-senpai is being a big ole meanie. Tobi doesn’t deserve this inhumane treatment! I’ll be calling HR on you.” Always dramatic and so whiny.

Then you keep seeing him, spending time with him alone in remote hideouts. He never takes off that mask of his, but you can clearly see his deep dark eye that stares into you. Even if your conversation isn’t ever breaching bellow surface level, you know he’s listening intently. He may be unserious and full of quirks, but he really does have his own sense of charm. You’ve always felt there was more to this guy than what he’s showing, maybe if you got to know him a bit more .. personally you’d figure it out.

One day you honestly just can’t take it anymore. “Tobi have you ever .. uhhh , you know.” You’re playing with your hands because you feel entirely ridiculous asking this masked entity such a lewd question. You’re starting to think it’s because of that same damn mask that you’re where you are now.

“Have I ever what y/n! You can tell me, Tobi’s a great listener~” he goads you, completely unaware of the whorish request you have in store for him. That same cheerful voice that makes you feel so comforted is asking you to be honest with him, your legs touching as you sit together on the floor.

“Y’know, you ever do it with anyone?” You’re gesturing with your hands nervously as he tilts his head in confusion.

“Do it? Do what! Tobi doesn’t quite understand what pretty miss y/n is asking for.” He places his hands together while leaning his head to the side, playing such an innocent role in all this.

“Has anyone ever sucked your dick?” You can’t even bother to face his masked appearance as it finally tumbled forth from your lips, the question you’ve been itching to ask. “Like, touched you in a way you liked or that felt really good?” He can’t be that unadulterated can he? If so this was going to be a very awkward conversation.

“Ooooo, does y/n wanna make Tobi feel good? Naughty girl asking such questions.” He waggles his finger at you as if to insinuate you were a pervert for asking him anything like that. He doesn’t answer your question but he doesn’t deny it either, pulling the tide of control back into his own hands.

“Eugh not when you put it like that” you cover your face with your hands in embarrassment, heat rising throughout your body wishing you could take back what you just asked.

“Tobi doesn’t mind, m’not stoppin you.” A schoolgirl like giggle escapes him as he stands up, shedding the ostentatiously long coat. Oh wow, you didn’t expect this guy to be so built, what the hell was he hiding under that cloak? An all black ensemble that covers him from head to toe but defines all of his muscle groups with a pair of black gloves. Still, the omnipresent mask doesn’t move.

You’re stuck peering up at him from your knees as he slides his fingers beneath your chin, angling your head to face him as he’s shrouded in light. “Still wanna suck my cock? Or did you change your mind.” When he speaks this time he doesn’t sound like Tobi, his eye flickers to life in dark red hues through the hole of his mask. The deep tone makes your jaw drop as you stare at him dumbly, grabbing his wrist as you scramble to make sense of what just happened. His entire being just changed in front of you, not even his chakra feels the same as it did before. They say curiosity killed the cat.

“Tobi?” You ask, almost afraid of what his answer could be. His chakra is dark and ominous, cool and uninviting as it swallows you whole. If Tobi had left and been replaced with another person in the blink of an eye, you’d believe them.

“No.” It’s simple, but you’ll take it. “Go on.”

You meekly nod your head while obeying his command, that voice of his is making your underwear drenched. That same red eye watches your nimble hands shake as you pull his cock out, “I’ll take care of you, good care.” The unnamed man pats your head in an effort to calm you but you just keep getting wetter and wetter each time he speaks. Something in his mannerism compels you to listen as if you’re in a trance.

“So obedient, what a good girl.” He’s not unaware of what his voice is doing to you, sharingan abilities and all. He just finds it cute, been waiting for this day for months. The day you stop beating around the bush and ask him for what he wants.

He’s thick, much thicker and longer than what you thought a man like Tob— no, whoever this man is, would be. You lick your lips at the sight of his angry brown tip that’s leaking thick globs of pre cum, begging for you to lick it up. He’s so hard it’s slapping against his own abdomen. What kind of expression must be on his face beneath that mask to be this stiff right in front of you.

He revels in the way you size him up, unabashed staring at the monster hidden beneath his pants. He thanks his Uchiha genes for such a pretty cock, it’s truly a masterpiece. “Don’t be shy when you were so eager earlier, I don’t bite.” A heavy chuckle leaves him as you start to work his pre up and down his shaft, spitting in your hands as it requires both appendages to fully jerk him off.

Once you find a rhythm with your hands that satisfies the man before you enough to elicit a grunt, you pop his head between your lips, suckling on the slit hoping to make him moan out. “Just like that, what a smart girl you are. You really know how to suck dick, hm?” But again, it’s him making you gush and clench your thighs as you sit up on your knees to suck him off. If you knew it was gonna be like this you would have asked Tobi to fuck eons ago, what the hell???

You start to take more of him in your mouth inch by inch, using a hand to brace yourself against his toned thigh. Your wrist twists in atune with each bob of your head along his girth as your cheeks hollow in. You try breathing through your nose so you won’t ruin the mood by gagging, but he’s just too thick. “What? Too big for you? Thought you wanted to suck my dick.”

You pull off of him trying to explain yourself but he doesn’t care, grabbing you by the curls as his red eye lowers in disappointment. “Less talking, ore sucking.” You’re shoved back on his fat cock while it jabs the back of your throat, effectively face fucking you.

“Your throat’s so warm, mhhm, and tight. Can you breathe down there?” Drool dribbles down his balls as your throat constricts around his cock. Tears forming in your waterline from the assault on your throat. You want to touch yourself to relieve the unbearable ache in your cunny from being used as a hole to fuck but the lack of oxygen makes you dumb, compliant in whatever way he holds your head still with his big hands. His heavy balls slap your chin with each thrust into your face.

It’s exhilarating and you almost wish you could thank him for using you so well, it’s exactly what you’ve been craving. You gurgle around his shaft with each drag of his hips, he doesn’t moan but groans when your tongue laps the underside of his cock. “Such a cute little thing, kept following me around. Wanted to fuck this throat so bad. Kept teasing me too, bet you were fantasizing about it.”

To say this is what you were expecting is far from the truth, you thought you’d have Tobi crying and whimpering while giving him the sloppiest top of his life, but here you are; having your throat bruised by a man you never truly knew. Shouldn’t you be scared? Alarmed?

Your cunt betrays you, oozing at the thought of what his heavy dick could do to your insides. You’d go slack from the intrusion alone, would it even all fit inside you?

Your jaw feels like it’s going to break off it’s hinges if he isn’t more careful with you, but it’s addicting with each revolution of his hips. The black fabric of his shirt riding up to expose scarred skin. Your hands trail up to his v-line and he shudders, “ahh— fuck, don’t do that.” He grabs a fist full of your hair before shoving you down further, not caring if you choke or not. “Make yourself useful, will you?”

His strong hands grip the side of your head, continuously fucking your throat raw in a way that you won’t be able to speak tomorrow. Each thrust of his hips lets the tip of his fat dick kiss the back of your throat and it makes your eyes roll back into your skull. You’re moaning, crying, drooling all from one man and it’s making you stupid.

“Fuck, swallow it. All of it, or there’ll be trouble to pay later.” The playfulness of his voice reminds you of Tobi, but the underlying threat awards you a pang of pleasure in your cunt. Moaning around him sends vibrations that rattle his being, at least you’re listening. “Be good and I may just keep you around.”

He throws his head back with a long groan as he keeps you pinned to his pelvis, you can only take it as his warm seed spills down your throat. You didn’t even have a choice to swallow it or not. Shallow strokes accompany soft curses as he grips your hair for purchase, orgasm causing him to shudder above you. He stumbles back a bit, letting you take care of his after shocks. You slowly pump him as you recover your breath, “you taste good.”

Voice already hoarse but you felt he deserved a compliment for fucking your throat raw. He simply laughs, tucking himself back in his pants. The discarded cloak on the ground resumes being draped back over his shoulders. “And don’t forget~ whatever you saw here you don’t speak about!” He’s back to to twirling around in that idiotic high pitched voice you love so much, a stark contrast to what just happened here. He grabs your hand to pull you up from the floor, wiping your knees of any debris in an animated fashion.

“It’s a Tobi and y/n secret, right y/n?” He extends his pinky to you while you stare at him incredulously trying to figure out which one is the real him.

You’ll later come to find out that it was neither.

[uchihaharlot]

Yandere Uchihas with an innocent S/O who doesn't know that he wants to baby trap the S/O.

I think that when an Uchiha wants to get you pregnant… there’s really nothing in the way of stopping them, that being said.

NSFW; Uchiha’s pumping you full of their hot sticky baby batter; Madara breeding; Obito ignorantly blissed; Shisui manipulation; Itachi sexual coercion.

Madara:

lol. This ain’t a baby trap for him. Your body was designed to specifically carry his offspring. Plus it’s the Warring States Era… everyone was fucking without protection. And that includes when Madara has you bunched up beneath him.

He’s not really shy about this either. While sex talk is hot as hell, Madara makes no laughing joke about how fucked out and stuffed full of his genes and babies you’ll be. You’re the perfect woman and you need to be his flesh light. His baby factory, so to speak. Bred until you can hardly breath.

And ma’am, he’s rough when fucking your overly used cunt. Day after day of incessant breeding, him hitting it all the way to your cervix when he cums to make sure his swimmers are close as close gets to your womb. Excellent thing you’re a good little girl and take it all night. The sheets get changed regularly since you have about six or eight loads pumped into you and each load gets fucked out as the other is pumped in. It also takes Madara a looong time to cum inside of you, so you’re basically cumming several times, prepping his cock to empty itself. He just really enjoys seeing how overstimulated you get and how that pussy massages his cock dry. ‘Just a bit more little bird…’ And it sounds so sweet to your exhausted self, but he’s so menacing when it comes to it.

Obito:

I hate to say this but if there were ever an unfortunate enough Uchiha to get baby trapped…. It’s this man here. Our poor Obito is a bit too trusting and a little dense at times. But like, sex feels so so good and he’s touched starved. So when you sit on his fat cock for the first time and fuck him stupid. Any and all sexual education he did have, is wiped free from his mind. You just feel so good in his lap, so wet and warm on his aching length. Especially when you own him this way, Obito can’t think.

Tobi, is a good boi. And if you tell him that, he’s gonna burst fast and heavy in your plush velvety walls without a care. It’s just feels so damn good for Obito to actually cum inside of you, and since he’s rarely sticking his cock often in anyone. He won’t feel the slightest bit nervous when you joke about wanting a little Uchiha in you because, well, it’s hot as fuck. So as many times as you want, he’ll coat your insides until gravity works against his cum and it drips out of you as you ride him through each of his and your orgasms. Which it’s safe to say that if you’re cumming, he is too.

Shisui:

He didn’t really want to do this to you. I mean, yes he wants everyone to see that cute belly of yours cradling his Uchiha baby but also… he knows you’re not entirely ready. So Kotoamatsukami for you, miss. You are none the wiser since Shisui doesn’t even need to look you in the eye while using his ultimate technique. This is a very egregious act and an abuse of power. Shisui justifies it because you have talked about children of your own. Just not making them yet. Shisui, I think, has a heavy conscience over it but when you’re whining for him to fuck a baby in you because your mind has been inundated with thoughts of his hot cum. It’s a non issue in that moment.

Palms splayed all over your stomach when you both cum. Admiring the flat of your stomach and visualizing how plump and delicious you’ll look with his growing seed. Holding your hips roughly when you squirm from being so taut and full of his cock pumping you raw and full.

You just look so sexy like this. Begging him for an Uchiha baby, even if it is manipulative, Shisui is in heaven. ‘Please, Shisui…’ is your vocabulary for the next few hours. This is his passion now. Shisui gets really into filling your soft hole with his seed, very desperate soft whines each time he cums inside of you. That much closer to his goal . If you end up squiring on him, well that’s another two loads to make up for the one you washed out. ‘Tisk, there goes all my hard work, baby. You need more now…’ Gods, his sex out voice is so low and hoarse too 🥵

Itachi:

Any sort of insolence on your side about having his baby is just ending with you tossed into Tsukuyomi. You should have agreed with this man from the get go. Though you might think this is a safe zone for acting out his deplorable behavior. He will fuck you into submission until your willing and eager for it. Just throws you in there and locks the key until he is done. Fucking you senseless until you are in agreeance of him cramming your insides with a baby. It takes only three seconds for him to coerce you from an outside perspective, but yet it’s been nearly a lifetime in there for you.

Consider yourself more fortunate with his good graces if you end up in this situation, agreeing and whatnot. Itachi is persistent when it comes to actually making sure you fall pregnant. Though he doesn’t believe that the more loads of cum you take in a single session actually makes a difference. He will breed you for the novelty of it. It’s just been one of those things whispered in the shadows and plus. It feels so damn good having you whining underneath him this way and hey, yea. Baby making sex is hot as hell. So you really are wanting this. Itachi is typically a soft lover. Very sensual, but like this? Now you know why he was so desperate for your cooperation. The man is insatiable and ends up cumming several times over, especially when he sees how into it you are. How quick you climax the first time he raws you. 🫠

[dark-konohagakure2]

Obito having to hold his tongue and keep up his disguise as Tobi to a disrespectful civilian/merchant who worked for the akatsuki to keep their hideouts stocked... And then when he doesn't have to hold back, maybe, please >////<

tw: noncon, degradation, power imbalance, abuse, misogyny, sadism, rough sex, slapping

All characters depicted are 18+

Obito usually doesn't hate keeping his Tobi facade up, its a bit refreshing to get to act like a kid without much consequence, it's fun sometimes. But the downside to this persona is that he can't ever stick up for himself against bothersome pests.

He can't exactly mouth off to one of the Akatsuki's associates in front of the other members, all he can do is bite his tongue and let out a meek "sorry" whenever she berates his immaturity or shoves him out of her way.

But after a while it begins to grate on Obito's nerves, he can no longer stand the constant disrespect, especially since he's the one employing her services, not Pain, whom she actually treats with respect, since she's under the impression that he's the actual leader of the Akatsuki.

When he finally gets her alone, he'll push her up against the wall, changing from his dopey Tobi voice to his deep and imposing Madara voice, letting her instantly know how badly she damned herself by disrespecting the true leader.

"Did you really think you could get away with such disrespect, little bitch? I think it's time I showed you why I'm the leader of the Akatsuki..."

Obito has been holding in a lot of anger directed at her for months now, and at long last he finally has the opportunity to take it out on her. He is very forceful when he rips her clothes off, and he's incredibly brutal as he bullies his thick cock into her cunt. Obito wants it to hurt, it's the least she can do after being so rude to him all this time.

The entire time he's fucking her, he'll spit cruel words into her ear, telling her how a lowly female should never speak up to a man like that, and how she should feel honored that he'd deign to hire someone as bitchy as her.

Obito isn't just rough with his words, but he's rough with his body too, slapping her ass and face as he pounds into her, his heavy balls slapping against her thighs as he thrusts his cock in and out of her, making sure she's reduced to a whimpering and trembling mess beneath him by the time he's done.

After he's had his way with her, he'll toss her aside like the trash she treated him as prior, making sure she finally learns her proper place, which is beneath him, before taking his leave. Obito has better things to do than to deal with brats.

"There. It'll do you well to remember who the one paying your bills is, now won't it? Now get out of my sight, brat."

The Akatsuki members will end up noticing how meek and submissive their supplier has been since the last time she came to do her job, but not a single one of them will suspect the weak airhead Tobi of having anything to do with this sudden personality shift.

[strawberry-milkbunny]

Naruto is my Roman Empire and I’ve been reading MadaTobi fanfics so these r my Founders Thoughts that nobody asked for:

- Tobirama had a crush on Madara and it PISSED HIM OFF like they def had hate sex at one point LMAO

- they literally worked together ur rlly gonna tell me they didn’t have SOME moments of civility btwn them?? (lowkey that’s wild tho having to see ur brother’s murderer everyday at work-I like Tobi but I’m just sayin)

I WANT A WORKPLACE SITCOM WITH THE FOUNDERS SJSKKSKS:

- Tobi doing experiments and scaring the villagers

- Tobi teaming up with Madara to make Hashi do work

- Hashi making flowers w/government documents

- Mito sipping tea while encouraging Tobi to revive the dead

- everyone in the Tower side eying the sexual tension btwn Madara and Tobi and them never denying they’ve fucked before

- Toka cackling in the background

- Hikaku spraying water at Madara like a cat every time he throws a temper tantrum

- Kagami popping in to make sure his clan head doesn’t kill his teacher PERFECT SITCOM MATERIAL

- totally personal preference: Naruto should’ve had more BLOOD AND GORE. I wanna see the grittiness and horror the shinobi world actually is and how revolutionary Naruto as a character is by choosing peace over violence. The only time we get that is Obito vs Kiri nin, Uchiha Massacre, Wave Arc, Orochimaru…before it turns into DBZ fights

I’ve said this before: Sasuke was in a seinen Naruto was in a shounen

- the warring states is literally the perfect place for exhibiting the horrors of war and humanity. Bloodline thieves, child hunting squads, GIVE. IT. TO. ME. Madara and Hashirama experiencing all of this and wanting PEACE FOR THEIR YOUNGER BROTHERS UGHHH ROBBERY‼️‼️

SORRY TW IMPLIED SA !!:

I HC that bloodline thieves is prob why Madara wears gloves….being a YOUNG (he’s been on the battlefield since he was 8??) powerful, prodigy and future clan head of a famous kekkai genkai it makes sense why he doesn’t like skin-contact/sexual repression and repulsion. And why we don’t see female Uchiha shinobi (excluding misogyny) simply bc there’s such a high risk of SA in this era

Moving on:

- Tobi and Izuna were jealous of how their brothers were being taken away. It goes past the senju/uchiha rivalry like they were just kids and were plain jealous.

- Madara and hashirama def share 1 brain cell LOLLL. Like they’re besties for a reason, Madara acts likes he smarter but nah he’s as much of an idiot as Hashi is. They’re both dreamers let these boys live and skip rocks together!!! 😭😭

- let’s be honest: Tobi built the village. Mans was doing ALL the logistics and infrastructure

- tobirama is soooo second son/eldest daughter coded it’s not even funny. The SPARE, serious and emotionless bc he needed to always clean up after his siblings, DUTIFUL, prob has a praise kink etc.

- Madara is an eldest daughter who also prob has a praise kink and touch starved

- NONE of the founders r well adjusted like they went from spending everyday of their lives at war to tryin bring peace and start essentially a ninja-revolution (PLS GO TO THERAPY)

- madara was just the most open about it: being isolated and feared by his own clan BC he was powerful, trying advocate for the village and peace, all while grieving for his last brother…yeah it makes sense y he went crazy or at least wanted to leave (fuck Kishimoto for that Kaguya bs and fuck Zetsu)

- I don’t actually believe he was trying destroy the village idkkk. I think he was trying to do an SNS aka using fighting as a way to communicate with Hashirama and well…yIkEs

- tobirama is 1000% unadjusted: mans literally created a Justu to revive the dead. You cannot tell me that doesn’t REEK of desperation and loneliness. He’s lit rally the OG mad scientist

- hashirama rlly thought sealing the Bijuu and giving them to each village was a good idea….sir WHO TF GIVES NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO SHINOBI???!! 😳😳

- I think hashirama and naruto lowkey can be summed up as: a powerful idealist. Which is a very dangerous combination. Take that how you will especially considering how shinobi thrive off of violence….it kinda makes sense how we ended up with canon Naruto

- Madara has a god complex and knows it. Hashirama has a god-complex and doesn’t know it. (God of Shinobi title def got to him and understandable)

- the founders failed and they know it. But I also kinda love it?? They’re so flawed and human as leaders and you can see how their mistakes drag into Canon Naruto. It also makes me so sad knowing that Konoha was built to prevent child soldiers and give protection only for it to actually be WORSE (Kakashi ITACHI SANNIN ik for a fact it must’ve hurt Hashi to know ur own granddaughter left the village)

Uchiha are: love is the death of duty while the Senju are: duty is the death of love and neither of them will forgive each other for picking one over the other‼️‼️‼️

- proving this ^^ w/Hashirama’s weird af characterization: aka him being a loveable idiot but at the same time CONGRATULATING Itachi for killing his own clan for Konoha…. I feel like that rlly showed me how much of a war veteran/shinobi Hashirama actually is and how he will always pick duty

- we were ROBBED of baby Kagami/hokage Kagami 😤😤😤 I’m sorry Kagami should’ve been made Hokage it just makes sense personality wise and politically wise. The only way I could see him not take it is bc he needed to be a clan leader/placate the Uchiha/help Hikaku.

- I wanna see him process the loss of his clan leader, teacher, and eventually friends to a point where Danzo takes his eyes

- everyone on Team Tobirama had a crush on Kagami at one point

- one of my fav HC: Tobi and Madara co-parenting Kagami. There’s no way Madara didn’t check up on Kagami being taught by THE senju which makes his defection hit harder for Kagami 😭😭

- BABY SANNIN ‼️‼️‼️ Tsunade was old enough to meet and remember Hashirama it makes sense that Oro and Jiraiya meet the founders

- omg could u imagine being Edo Tensei Hashirama?? Ur granddaughter’s weird friend revives u using the Jutsu ur brother invented that you specifically FORBID 😭😭

- Hashi and Tobi staring at Orochimaru like “you look familiar???” IT HAS SO MUCH COMEDIC POTENTIAL

- Mito revolutionized female shinobi like she’s def the reason ppl realized that girls can fight (Senju Toka was an exception) STAN MITO 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

- Mito pulled a Tsunade and mentally yeeted out of Konoha after Hashi and Tobi died. Bc the way we NEVER hear about her and Hiruzen interacting except for Kushina, even tho she’s literally RELATED to the other 2 hokages….ROBBED 😵‍💫

- I HC: she was dealing w/grief (the fall of Uzushio made it worse) and she was lowkey pushed out of the council by Danzo FUCK DANZO

- I love the idea of Mito wooing for Hashirama’s hand/politically smart Mito!! It was a political marriage that grew into love. There’s no way she DIDNT suspect an attack on Uzushio lik it’s literally an island w/Kiri as it’s neighbours….Konoha gets recognition and stability while Uzushio importantly gets mainland allies

- Mito tops btw she’s def pegged Hashi before 🫢

- if Madara or Hashi had sisters/born women they would’ve def had a marriage to solidify their alliance. This makes Japanese homophobia not make sense esp in the shinobi world bc their clans trusted each other w/o backup like marriage?? Idk I’m just kinda confused y it was never even brought up for an alliance…

*cue MadaTobi arranged marriage au 100k, enemies to lovers, slowburn*

- also to dude bros homophobia has no place in the Naruto world (and IRL BTW) outside of making heirs. They’re literally MERCENARIES You telling me Kakashi has never fucked another man for information before??? Pls be serious I’m begging y’all 🙃🙃🙃

- there’s def family drama amongst the senju!! Idk I feel like Hashirama and Tobirama have the relationship of: “they love each other but don’t like each other” which makes Madara’s inclusion even worse for the brothers’ relationship. Like they def always had each other’s backs but never actually felt like they understood each other.

- I wish more fanfics/canon covered the shinobi-civilian politics more (I love politics lol give me world-building kishimoto 😤)

- Civilians hold power. THEY have all the MONEY to pay shinobi

- I’ve rlly only seen 1 fanfic that involves the Fire Daimyo during the Warring States Era (Into the Wide Blue Yonder it’s a KakaSasu Time travel fic that actually ✨works✨ 12/10 recommend) but it’s true.

Wtf is the Fire Daimyo doing during this era??? Why is he being so placate about Senju/Uchiha war unless he just sees it as entertainment?? How have shinobi NOT fought against rich civilian politicians before?? (Introducing Maoism to the naruto world lol 🤔🤔)

- Kishimoto curse ur goldfish brain….

- the uchiha and senju were def broke in this era, LMAO especially the Uchiha and I mean resource wise. War is EXPENSIVE the Uchiha don’t have Hashirama and Mokutan, they couldn’t just grow food whenever they wanted. It makes total sense that they would agree to a ceasefire just to prevent STARVATION

- once again…. robbed in terms of seeing the aftermath and devastation of war and learning how to live in a morally grey, politically unstable, resource limited world which could’ve brought in the ultimate themes of peace and the cycle of violence, and the question of if violence and war is ever justified, but…..no ❤️

[evilkitten3]

akatsuki members (and affiliates) who need to be under constant supervision:

-deidara (will blow up anything including himself if he gets pissy enough. or if he just thinks it'd be fun. can't actually choke you to death with his thighs but he'd like to think he could)

-hidan (absolutely no concept of reasonable decisions whatsoever. may abandon duties in favor of religious business. way too open about personal things)

-itachi (might walk into a tree. sometimes tortures children but only the ones he cares about. acts functional but makes the worst decisions you've ever seen in your life. genius level intellect but unfortunately also an idiot)

-obito (might be too busy being silly to do his job. or worse, might decide to stop being silly. guaranteed to solve every minor problem by turning it into a major catastrophe)

-nagato (can't really move around much. or at all. one time an old man broke into his house and stole his eyeballs and replaced them with new eyeballs. not clear if he noticed this)

-orochimaru (may get too distracted by The Science. may also vivisect other members if given the opportunity. probably has abandonment issues but will torture you to death if you ask)

-black zetsu (mommy issues. will probably call you slurs. lies a LOT. needs to be supervised if only for damage control. uses it/its pronouns but doesn't really care too much)

-karin (might get bit. or develop unhealthy attachments to emotionally unavailable men. excellent at gaslight and gatekeep, too much of a failgirl to achieve girlboss)

-suigetsu (usually fine so long as he's kept hydrated, but enjoys pissing people off too much to be truly safe. craves destruction. could probably function just fine if he wanted to tho)

-madara (wants to fight his fuckbuddy and fuck his fightbuddy. they are the same person. if left alone will sulk in a cave for a few decades about this. also grandpa needs his meds. might steal some eyeballs)

-tobi (might try to eat poop)

akatsuki members (and affiliates) who can probably be left unattended for a bit:

-kakuzu (might sell your organs but only if it's worth the time it would take him to extract them. will probably snap and kill you if you don't give him some space anyway)

-kabuto (might develop a psychosexual obsession with someone and try to become them. probably not a big deal. ask him about his ninja info cards)

-juugo (usually fine so long as he doesn't snap. might teach you to be friends with birds, which is a nice plus. will project his dead friend onto you sometimes but we all gotta cope somehow)

-sasuke (can technically function on his own for extended periods of time but something horrifically traumatic will inevitably happen to him so he should probably have someone nearby just in case)

-white zetsu (may decide to be helpful in ways you don't necessarily want but mostly is friend-shaped. excellent corpse disposal. likely has several witty responses in store in case he's ever asked "you and what army" )

-yahiko (usually fine! however may take drastic measures if his loved ones are in danger, unintentionally dooming them to become what they once stood against. might not value his own life quite enough)

akatsuki members (and affiliates) functional enough to supervise:

-pain (he's six corpses in a trench coat. six trench coats. whatever. he can look out for himself. can keep an eye or sixteen out for the others. technically just nagato in six funny hats)

-konan (exhausted. she's so tired. watched her bf commit suicide with her other bf's knife to save her life, then watched her other bf puppet around the first bf's corpse while she effectively gave him palliative care. full of love and also bombs)

-juuzou (always willing to help show young new terrorists the ropes. may ask you to join a suicide pact but has likely packed snacks for the road. will likely teach you some kind of valuable lesson or other)

-kisame (cares so much. love is stored in the sharkman. you can trust this man with anything. sensitive to comments about his appearance but will bounce back. very polite. honest. ride or die like you wouldn't believe. babysat itachi for five years and never lost respect for him, which is probably the most impressive thing anyone's done in this series. sword broke up with him for a rapper)

I think the only reason the Akatsuki were paired up that way was that, after the first mission they went on, everyone realized that unless the goal is “complete and total desolation of the village and surrounding area”, Deidara and Hidan cannot go on missions without supervision, much less with EACH OTHER as supervisors. 

They both need adult supervision.

[terriblecorpse]

𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

what it’s like to snuggle him -/ 𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢, 𝐎𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐨, 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐚, 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐮

@b4bephomet it’s snuggles, I’m feeling the fluffiness, so I indulged myself

      𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢

—- It takes a while before you snuggle with him. From the start, Kakashi believes he will mess it up. So you take throwing yourself on him and latching on before he melts. You stop and he pulls you back. Now you’ve created is snuggle monster who is coming for those cuddles anytime you're not doing something.

—- Enjoys being small spoon or you laying on top of him, just want to feel safe underneath you. Or in your arms. It’s the best sleep that he gets. And he will always set his book aside to snuggle sleep with you. It’s how you get him into a sleeping schedule.

—- Kakashi will lazily whisper sweet comments and random ass questions. These questions will sometimes have you wondering if he is high or not. It starts the silliest debates and conversations.

—- Kakashi is cold nature, which means once he gets comfortable this touched starved and cold man is draping himself over you. Beware of his cold feet at night. Kakashi will put them on you.

—- A whine many for kisses. He loves forehead kisses and turns incredibly red, no matter how much time passes. And there are certain spots on his neck that are ticklish, so if you kiss them softly enough, he will wiggle.

     𝐎𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐨

—- Feral touch starved man! Be beware! Obito bites, kind of hard sometimes. And always when you least expect it, he likes the sound you make when he gets you off guard.

—- Big spoon and will only occasionally little spoon. And he will playfully mock you the whole time as you try to wrap yourself around his 6 foot bulky frame.

—- Obito helps himself to just arranging you into whatever cuddle position. Sometimes he will fixate on one for a little while before switching between the various ways to snuggle.

—- Demands snuggle, especially after a fight. He won’t let it go until it happens. You need to snuggle him better. It’s the only way he will heal. And no, he isn’t being dramatic. He will play it up even more than his Toby persona in front of others.

    𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐚

—- Not a snuggler. At first, because he gets offended by you snuggling into a pillow. Why, maybe it’s because Madara actually wanted the snuggles from the beginning but was holding up a tough guy act. Which you know he is strong, wanting to snuggle up to your boo and have some skin to skin doesn’t make you weak. After he sees this, he becomes a snuggler.

—- Picks you up and takes you away from various tasks depending on how important your task is you for snuggles. You already know when you're being princess cradled out of nowhere he needs snuggles.

—- Why does Madara need the snuggles so badly? Well, because you are his peace and his sole reason for not kicking some teeth down some throats. So it’s snuggle time, or it’s going to be ass kicking time.

—- Play with Madara’s hair! It’s a given that he loves your fingers in his hair. Which he started brushing, so it’s not so tangled all the time. If you really want to do this man in, then massage his scalp and he isn’t leaving until you stop.

    𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐮

—- Snuggling and cloud watching/star gazing is the main thing you do with Shikamaru on days/night that allows it. And if you talk a lot, he will call you bothersome, but he doesn’t mean it. Since if he didn’t enjoy your rambling, he wouldn’t have you there. Which he will let you know if you get upset at him calling you bothersome.

—- If it’s raining outside, then it’s the porch and hammock under the roof to listen to the rainfall. He likes it if you swing the hammock a little with your foot. But is too lazy to do the same so he won’t object if you just don’t want to.

—- Hands on for snuggles, sometimes this means up your shirt and not to be a pervert kind of. But he just like how soft your skin feels. This leads to him rubbing circles into your side or back. And if he can touch your thighs he grabs those, it doesn’t matter the size of your thighs, it’s his now.

—- Shikamaru will fall asleep during the snuggles so you’ll just have to wake him up. He will be slightly grumpy, but he really doesn’t mind. What he does mind is you thinking you can get out of the snuggles just because he fell asleep. He also doesn’t smoke during the snuggles unless you're comfortable with it.

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 / 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 / MDI 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

[animeyanderelover]

Hello 🎈How would Hashirama,Tobirama,Madara,Itachi,Pein,Sasuke,Naruto,Obito and shisui react to them body switching with their darling for a month?Thank you 🪄

I had my third vaccination today, wish me that it won’t knock me out for a bit.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, manipulation, stalking

Switching bodies for a month

Madara Uchiha

🌑His reaction is honestly everything except amused, he’s actually quite pissed about this whole situation. And the embarrassment, oh the goddamn and burning embarrassment. Especially if it is a special type of jutsu he would be so much more ashamed because he couldn’t dodge in time and somehow his s/o got involved as well so here and there his anger sips out of him and he lets it out on them. The thing now is just…he feels so awkward scolding himself and under all means necessary will he keep this whole accident a secret from the village and he has the full support of his clan. They’re far too prideful to risk such a scratch on their pride, though to Madara’s huge disapproval Hashirama obviously finds out and being with him now in his darling’s body causes high embarrassment.

🌑One wrong look at this temporary state of his and Madara feels automatically ridiculed, but worse is by far that people lack now some sort of respect since his powers are in his body which you currently own and with that you do not have any reason to fear him really anymore, even you find this situation amusing. The elders do make sure that nothing happens to the bodies of you two whilst the hosts are so inexperienced, but it’s gonna be a long and dragging month for Madara. Darling can see this probably more positively, but they should still be aware that Madara will remember things that ticked him especially off.

Hashirama Senju

🌳He’s more flabbergasted and confused than he is frustrated with all of this at first, even if it comes to hit him eventually quickly what troubles this sudden event will cause. His clan is far more in a sudden alert and even if they already know that this is supposed to be the norm for the whole next month, they run left and right to undo this body switch as fast as possible. Madara as head of the clan is already burdened with duties, but Hashi is a goddamn Kage who must take care of the whole village and if word gets out in what state he currently is, a village might try to attack whilst he can’t use his kekkai genkai. Worst of all is that he is a popular guy and it might be a bit too suspicious if he would disappear for a whole month.

🌳It’s still crystal clear that you can’t act like him for a whole month either so an excuse will be found to why he has to isolate himself a bit for the next month. If his darling is a responsible person they might be allowed to do a bit of the Kage work, Hashirama probably even let them do it in the past a few times so they’re not a complete amateur, Tobirama helps more now as well and Hashirama still does his part as well. Hashi tries to stay positive and in a good mood the whole time to erase the awkwardness, it’s only a month after all. As long as nothing happens, you shouldn’t be so down because you’re in this man’s body and he’s in yours. Though even he has troubles how to exactly handle body hygiene in a body that doesn’t belong to him.

Tobirama Senju

🌊Listen, he really does do his best to stay as calm as possible and to solve this all as fast as he can. But the moment his brother and his clan find out, he still feels like wanting to hide in a corner and stay there for the following few weeks. Tobirama has his pride as well and there is a small crack upon this somewhat humiliating experience. Tobi handles it far better than Madara though and he can grip his mind enough until it has cooled down enough. He has to make some plans quickly since he is the Hokage as well and so he is all too informed about the dangers that can come flying to this village if everyone finds out that the current body of the Hokage is possessed by someone who doesn’t know how to fully use his power and that he is in darling’s body. Just like with Madara and Hashirama, Tobirama can also fully rely on his clan to assist him and make sure that word doesn’t get out.

🌊He doesn’t quite trust you with his body, not as terrible as Madara, but he still would want someone to watch over you if he isn’t with you. He won’t take a break from work though, only that now he works somewhere differently on all his paper work, you’re free to assist him if you possess enough knowledge though. Being stuck in your body and having to talk to his own face turns him maybe for a short while the tiniest bit more humble. It’s not totally obvious, but over time it’s clear that he just wants this all to end, he wants his body back. It’s impossible to talk seriously to you with this body switch and it’s uncomfortable and awkward on top of that.

Pain

🌧Pain is in a way more of an additional personality to Nagato and someone he controls so him and Konan are slightly confused to how Pain and the darling could switch bodies if Yahiko’s body is more of an empty shell. It leads to a huge chaos in regards of the Akatsuki plans since this Pain is a extremely important factor in it all, but Nagato simply is far too paranoid to send him out whilst your soul is inside of it. That isn’t even the main problem in here because if he suddenly isn’t able to control this body anymore because you switched bodies with it, that means you have enough power to escape this place, even if after one month everything would be over.

🌧On further expansion this could only mean that Nagato on the other hand would be able to control his darling’s body now and he will use this out of fear of them running away against them, not to mention that his s/o should know that he’ll take down entire villages if it helps him finding you. That is only if he loses control over this body since he has embedded receivers into Yahiko’s body after all and is able to control the body with the chakra he channels inside the body. If that is the case, you’ll be more of a puppet he keeps close until everything is over. Now if Nagato is the one switching bodies with his s/o, that will at the very last bring a true storm, leaving Konan and a slightly unnerved Nagato, who is living in your body for now, left to try what they possibly can to keep the organization intact and at the same time trying to guarantee that you don’t accidentally or in purpose try to use the Six Paths of Pain.

Obito Uchiha

🔥He has his part to play in the Akatsuki as well as their secret leader so all of this already might get difficult yet that isn’t the part Obito worries that much about. Not even partially enough as about the fact that a sudden body switch happened which has to lead to the instant assumption that it was a jutsu, someone’s attack. That is what freaks him out and it’s the major reason for his frenzy behavior afterwards. It’s by now hopefully known that Obito will gladly see the world in flames if it’s just to assure that you are safe and without any knowledge what happened and if something else will come, he feels the instant threat of that precious safety that is worth any blood and death.

🔥It is less about a fear that you’ll run away or awkwardness that he is now in your body and you in his, it’s just good and old paranoia, a sheer one on that topic, that he won’t be able to protect you like this if someone would choose to attack. Since he is in your body he also has to be so careful with everything since he has to watch out that he won’t put a single minor injury on it whilst his soul is living inside of it. The thing with Obito is that he breaks his darling’s mindset at one point as well and forces them to see the world in the way he does. It’s terrible to drown under such paranoid pressure, but it’ll come quite handy for the Uchiha as well since they obviously are far too frightened to even try to escape or leave Obito who they believe to be the only one who can keep them save.

Shisui Uchiha

🍂Given the fact that Shisui works for the Anbu and gets quite the dangerous and risky missions, he has to inform the Hokage about this unexpected incident. His clan discovers the truth one way or another as well, even if obvious not all of them will be aware. Shisui might not even know what exactly happened in here as well and that unnerves him which is why he will investigate in this case a bit further to know what was the cause of this sudden body switch. Especially if it’s unclear how long his darling and him will be affected by this thing. If informations come out that the effect starts weakening and turning things back to normal after one month and there is no chance to shorten that time, all he can really do is wait together with his s/o.

🍂He tries to be a sweetheart by doing whatever he can think about to cheer his darling a bit up and lessen the thick and extremely uncomfortable tension that has wrapped itself around them like a cloak. Hey, it isn’t like he doesn’t struggle with this peculiar month himself, he just doesn’t pounder about it too much so he can keep sight on important things. He worries too, you know? Not being able to fight as effectively as before and not being able to risk your body for a bloody battle if one should occur, he has to ask Itachi for some assistance. The people of his clan who are aware are bound to watch over his s/o anyways since they can’t be careless and risk an intruder taking advantage of this situation and chase after the Sharingan.

Itachi Uchiha

🍡I have to say, for Itachi this is probably the most difficult to handle since various factors play against him right now. As a criminal who is written down in every bingo book and wanted in several nations, kidnapping his darling and guaranteeing their stay and their safety is already a task not that easy. But with both him and you suddenly being pulled out of your body and placed into the other one, life only seems to want to complicate things further for him. He can’t possibly let his s/o go on his missions like this and get involved with his business, even if they would be not inexperienced with fighting. Controlling and mastering the Sharingan isn’t something they can just learn in one month and all the taijutsu, genjutsu and ninjutsu adds hundred other reasons to the list to why he can’t let them go.

🍡With no one else to turn to, Itachi ends up having to tell his partner Kisame about it so he can hopefully speak up for him if during the month any missions should come in for the two of them or possible meetings. The Kirigakure rouge is…something in between confused as hell and lightly amused when confronted with this scene for the first time, but he respects the Uchiha so he’ll agree most likely to think of something. The following month can really only be spent waiting until everything returns to normal, that doesn’t make it less embarrassing and awkward though. Even Itachi has his struggles here and there and on top of that he is most of the time concerned what he should do if someone finds you two.

Naruto Uzumaki

🍜Naruto is a paranoid and protective Yandere as well so he naturally throws a tantrum if anything happened to his s/o, only that this time it wasn’t an attack he expected. He doesn’t even grasp the full meaning of this situation for a whole while before someone explains it to him and that is when his mind goes a bit blank, the gears in his head turning as if still not fully understanding all of this. News end up spreading faster than wanted, though at the very last it is kept somewhat under control. The majority of his friends and other shinobi do know and since Naruto is so popular and adored by the citizens, it is extremely hard to let nothing seep through. The council pressures to find out what exactly happened and they obviously want their Kage as fast as possible back in his body, even if this all supposedly only stops after one month.

🍜People like Kakashi, Sai and Sakura will lend their help wherever they can as well, be it discovering how to undo the jutsu, helping with the Kage work or simply taking care of two people who have no idea what to do in the body of their partner. Just try to imagine how frustrating this can be sometimes for Naruto, imagining that he wouldn’t be able to do much if someone would plan to murder you in this moment with your body that he can’t risk being majorly ruffled up either. To ease his overprotective paranoia a bit, someone from his best friends will have to look out for you a bit. Kurama is not exactly thrilled about this development either, though he attempts to take it with a dry humor.

Sasuke Uchiha

💙With Sasuke the time where it happens determines how he will act and react to it all. If it’s during the time of his teenage years, it is totally safe to assume that he’s pissed, oh so pissed, about this all and since he can’t quite handle his emotions, he lets his moods out on his s/o. As long as he isn’t proven differently, he will always see his s/o weaker than him and being stuck in their body with his mindset means that he feels like he won’t be able to accomplish anything, blaming along with this his darling for being so weak. Waiting a whole month won’t cut it for him either, he doesn’t have time for this. If Orochimaru is still alive at that point, he will help Sasuke since despite his interest to this phenomenon, he wants Sasuke back in his body as well, Sasuke will force him anyways even if his threats might be in this current body not as affective. If we’re talking about him being already an adult, he won’t act quite as rash.

💙He’s far from having achieved inner peace with this situation, but he thinks it through more carefully and schemes everything out as good and as fast as he can. He wanders around with his darling until he decides to finally settle down which means that he will try at first to handle everything on his own. He has collected some knowledge throughout his journeys and has been gifted new skills and abilities so he will try to find a way to return your souls to the right body instead of sitting around for one month. It’s not only that he worries about bumping into the wrong kind of people, he becomes a bit warily whether or not his s/o will attempt to do something with this temporarily borrowed body.

[evilkitten3]

#absolutely good analysis OP#also about Obito being an unreliable narrator I agree he is#I agree with you the antagonism mainly came from Tobirama’s side#sure Madara refused the truce for a long period but there’s no indication in the story that Tobirama and the rest of the Senju wanted the#truce#only Hashirama did#in fact Tobirama wanted to kill Madara after he lost#and despite Madara declining to get revenge for his brother’s death#Tobirama was still paranoid and started politically isolating him#it’s this isolation that started leading Madara to despair in canon#so Tobirama’s paranoia is the self fulfilling prophecy here#as his actions continuously isolate the latter pleading to him lashing out#I honestly don’t think it’s fair to blame Madara for the Uchiha oppression#as the one who started this pattern is Tobirama himself he’s the one who couldn’t let go of past grudges despite the Uchiha themselves#exiling their leader and voting for Hashirama as Hokage#about Madara coming back to attack Konoha#how is this justification for the oppression of the Uchiha and Tobirama’s paranoia??#it’s not fair to blame the collective for an individual’s actions#and Madara’s conflict itself isn’t this simple#he tried to cooperate in the flashback it’s explicitly stated#but because he was an Uchiha he was isolated politically#the conversation between Hashi/Tobi in the flashback confirms this#is Madara an angel?#no he did fail as a leader of his clan#but the fate of the Uchiha and Tobirama’s paranoia is unjustly blamed on him#also last thing to add in Obito’s story it wasn’t stated the clan distrusted him because he refused the truce for so long#Obito state it was mainly because they didn’t want another confrontation with the Senju after establishing the village and we know that Obi#lied here as in Hashi’s version Madara didn’t want to fight Hashi over the Hokage position and instead actually showed him the stone tablet#Hashi is the only reliable narrator IMO

at the risk of sounding like i'm defending tobirama (not my intention), i'm gonna argue that it's a tad unfair to heap all the blame for his bigotry on him alone, as contradictory as that feels to say (and type).

like a lot of characters in hashirama's flashback, tobirama is pulling double duty - story-wise, he's acting as a character doing and saying character things, but from a storytelling sense, he's also representing a sect of people living in an entirely different time period that there just wasn't enough time to properly flesh out in-story.

the major players in the flashback aside from hashirama and madara themselves are butsuma, tajima, tobirama, izuna, and itama (technically also kawarama, but he's literally dead on arrival, so i'm going to just kinda. lump him in with itama tbh). hashirama and madara are the focal points of the story, and both of them are established as outliers from the get-go: insanely talented shinobi, yet also dreamers hoping and making plans for a better world.

there are seven active characters representing the entire warring clans arc, and madara and hashirama are too busy representing themselves to do the same for anyone else (although they do help the others by virtue of interacting with them, but that's pretty much how. existing as a person on planet earth works). what that means is that the other five characters are left carrying the people in that time period. since it's hashirama's story, we of course see more of his family, and since tobirama is the one who. y'know. lives, it falls to him to be the one representing literally everyone else alive and relevant.

this leaves us, the readers, with two ways of interpreting pretty much anything tobirama says or does in the flashback- either at face value, being tobirama in and of himself and unrelated to how we're meant to perceive the other people in the village, or as an embodiment of the attitudes and ideas of said people. both interpretations are valid. and imo it's best to try viewing him as a combination of both to keep things interesting.

in other words, while it's not untrue to say that tobirama actively and intentionally isolated madara, it's also just as possible in my eyes that tobirama is meant to be a reflection of the growing distance between madara and the rest of the world. probably it's a bit of both.

i'd say it's equally possible that tobirama's enmity towards the uchiha was meant to show that the establishment of the village hadn't exactly erased inter-clan tensions, but it's impossible to say either way, given how little we know about the senju clan as a whole save that they eventually got whittled down to just tsunade (this is to my knowledge never explained? the uchiha clan might've had some problems with the village leadership but the senju seem to have simply. mostly decided not to exist anymore. i guess they all went out for cigarettes. probably they'll be back soon)

one pet peeve of mine in founders-era fanfics is when madara's whole,,,, everything is solved by izuna just being there

like maybe this is just me, but i don't think izuna surviving or even coming around to the idea of a truce with the senju would've been enough to keep madara from the path he ended up on.

izuna wasn't the reason he left - he was definitely part of madara's issues, but he wasn't the why. even if izuna had stuck around, and even if that had been enough to keep the uchiha clan from losing their faith in madara, i think he would've still come to realize konoha wasn't what he'd hoped it would be.

best case scenario, i think izuna's survival might've caused madara to stick around a bit longer, but i don't think it would've lasted. honestly, even then, that might've just made the inevitable break-up between madara and hashirama even more agonizing (particularly for izuna)

it's a fun idea to play around with for sure, but frankly i don't think canon!madara could've ever been 'saved' from that path. certainly not if the hidden village system ended up getting set up in the same way.

[ladykissingfish]

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Seven // “Tobi”

Tobi

Expendable. This is the word that Obito Uchiha hears most frequently from his “savior” and Master, Madara: Expendable. “Everyone in that group is expendable, Obito. Pawns. A means to an end. Getting attached is pointless; they are not your family; I am.” And maybe he’s right, but ... it’s already too late for Obito. He IS attached to this group; they’ve become the family that he’s never had. They weren’t Expendable by any stretch of the imagination, and Obito lives just to be around them ... even when he’s forced to act like the simpleton that Tobi is. Still, there are times when the Uchiha can have a lot of fun with these people — and this Mistletoe game is definitely one of them.

Itachi

Itachi is a difficult one for Obito to read , and even harder to understand. On one level, he’s positive that Itachi knows (or at the very least suspects) that “Tobi” isn’t who he portrays himself to be. But on the other hand, two things that Obito can read for sure are that Itachi is sick, and his depression is so immense that it crushes out almost all other thoughts. Itachi is the sole reason Obito keeps presenting himself as the idiotic Tobi, because to reveal himself would mean death, swift and sweet. He’s not even sure that Madara would have the power to stand up to Itachi. Nevertheless, the time and place for such thoughts isn’t standing under the mistletoe. “Heya, Itachi-san! Ya ready to kiss Tobi now?” Itachi merely nods, but makes no move to approach Tobi. So Tobi walks up to him instead, moves the mask just slightly off his lips, and kisses his cheek. “There ya go!” Itachi goes, and Obito breathes out a sigh of relief. Still, though, he can’t help but feel a little sad, at what he feels to be the impending demise of his fellow clansmen.

Sasori

Sasori has mixed feelings about Tobi. On the one had he feels that he’s just a simplistic moron who doesn’t really warrant a second thought. But on the other hand — Tobi seems really, really attached to his Senpai, and Sasori’s partner, Deidara. Attached in a way that seems, at times, in a way that’s more than purely friendly. Almost like he — but wait, why does Sasori even care what Tobi may or may not feel for the young blonde? It’s not as though Sasori has (or desires) any kind of claim on Deidara, right? The fact that Tobi is standing in front of him right now and Sasori wants nothing more than to murder him and toss his body to the wolves has absolutely nothing to do with Deidara, right? The fact that Pein keeps Sasori back at the hideout more and more to help with strategizing, and sends Tobi out with Deidara in Sasori’s place ... it was all for the best, right? “Oh boy! Tobi gets to kiss Sasori-san!” Sasori grimaces, as he always does, at the grating voice coming from behind the mask. Instead of waiting for Tobi to kiss him, Sasori takes the initiative by leaning up and quickly kissing his cheek. He walks away feeling inexplicably angry ... and it’s not until much later that night, as he’s sitting at his desk working on a puppet while everyone else sleeps ... that he realizes that when he kissed Tobi, he smelled the shampoo that Deidara used. He continues working but doesn’t get much accomplished, as he spends half the night pondering why the idea of Tobi being around Deidara makes him feel so unsettled.

Kisame

Ugh; this kid. Or was Tobi older than that? Kisame honestly had no idea how old Tobi actually was; he doubted that any of them did. Granted he acted like a tall 10 year old — but surely that’s just an act. He’d have to remember to ask Deidara later — did Tobi have any special combat skills? Did he know any useful jutsus? What was his fighting style like? So many unknowns, so many things to wonder about. And throughout it all, wafting from Tobi and straight into Kisame’s nostrils, that unmistakable scent of a predator. But in the wild, the only way to show superiority to a predator was to show that you weren’t afraid. Kisame walks confidently up to him, and flashes him a wide smile that showcases all of his razor-sharp teeth. “You ready, kid?” Tobi nods, and to Kisame’s credit, Tobi actually DOES seem intimidated by the death-trap mouth. That, and the fact that samehada, who is currently strapped to Kisame’s side, has his head up and staring directly at the man in the mask. Kisame steps forward and kisses Tobi’s forehead, then quickly walks away again, before his own fear can leak through his brave facade.

Zetsu

Zetsu flat-out declines to kiss Tobi. Partially because he knows exactly who he really is, and the two have been “friends” for so long that a kiss would just be strange. The other reason is because he hasn’t eaten in two days, having just returned from a long-term mission about an hour ago. He’s so hungry that anything and everything looks delicious, and if he were to try and kiss “Tobi” right then — there’s no doubt that he would have eaten him. And Madara would surely skin him alive for that. So he simply nods at Tobi, and nobody questions why the two don’t exchange a kiss.

Pein

Mysterious and concealed. That’s how Pein (or rather Nagato) would describe “Tobi”; mysterious and concealed. Being around Tobi gives him a strange feeling deep in his sunken chest, that maybe, just maybe, Nagato isn’t the one running this show. That Tobi is actually someone he needs to watch out for. Still, though, it is unfitting to show one’s misgivings to one’s (possible) enemy. As far as Tobi knows, Pein just thinks of him like one of his “children”. Pein approaches him and kisses the cheek of his mask, not giving Tobi time to remove it. “Thank you, Leader-sama!” Pein nods and walks away, wondering whether he just imagined a hint of condensation in Tobi’s voice upon calling Pein “Leader”.

Konan

When Obito was growing up, like many of the kids in Konoha, he didnt’ have a household with a mother and father in it. He was raised by his grandmother who, although loving and kind, didn’t really provide Obito with the kind of matronly emotional support that he needed. When he came to the Akatsuki, Konan more or less filled that role for him. As she did with everyone else, she cooked for him, she washed his clothes, she cleaned up after him. She scolded him when she felt he did something reckless and foolish, and, most importantly, she cared about him. To have someone care about you in a reality where you sometimes don’t even care about yourself is an amazing feeling. Konan approaches him with a shy smile on her face, her tiny dimples showcasing the young girl she had once been. Aside from Rin, Konan is probably the warmest person Obito has ever met. He moves his mask, thinks about it, and gives Konan a gentle kiss on the tip of her chin, then another on her forehead. Then he pulls her into his arms, embracing her warmly. “Thank you, Konan,” he says, in a low, almost-Obito-like voice. “For what?” “For being Tobi’s friend.” Konan blushes and smiles; as she leaves she tells Tobi that when he’s done with his turn, to come and get some of the pie she’s made, to which Tobi happily agrees.

Hidan

Hidan is blushing pretty damn hard as he walks up to Tobi; after what happened when it was Hidan’s turn under the mistletoe, it’s understandable why. “Listen, you orange fuck — don’t pull any of that shit you did last time, alright?” Tobi tilts his head and studies him as if confused. “What do you mean, Hidan-san? Didn’t you like kissing Tobi?”, he asks, and then, his voice dropping into a somewhat playful whisper, “Tobi sure liked kissing YOU.” Hidan blushes even harder, and mutters a “Just do it already, weirdo.” Tobi removes his mask enough so that Hidan can see the flash of his teeth, smiling before tilting Hidan backwards ((and Hidan is surprised at how strong Tobi is)) and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. As it was last time, Hidan is visibly flustered. Tobi smiles even wider; in truth, Hidan is one of the few in the Akatsuki that Obito likes the least. He finds him to be emotion-driven and overly violent, and these things don’t make for a very good teammate. Still; there’s no denying that to be able to shut Hidan up, even for a few moments like now, is indescribably satisfying. Hidan is still standing there in a daze as Tobi slides his mask back into place, and Tobi can’t keep the glee out of his voice as he asks, “Aww Hidan-san; do you wanna marry Tobi now?” This snaps Hidan out of it, and his loud cursing and stomping off can be heard throughout the entire house.

Kakuzu

“Isn’t this ridiculous game over yet??” “No, Kakuzu-san! Don’t be shy; come get a kissy from Tobi!” Kakuzu just rolls his eyes; he’s never really been sure what to think of Tobi. He’s been on zero missions with him so he had absolutely no knowledge of his battle prowess or combat skills (but judging by the way Deidara complains about him, they can’t be all that good). Also, there’s the thing with him covering his face with that mask. Kakuzu isn’t really one to judge that; HE wears a mask as well. But with Tobi it’s not just a mask; it’s the long black clothing underneath the long Akatsuki robe. It’s the thick gloves. It’s the way not a single piece of skin save his toes ever sees the light of day. What’s he hiding? Kakuzu strongly suspects that Tobi might be one of the more elite ninjas listed in the Bingo Book, and if that’s the case, all Kakuzu has to do is wait for the right time to catch him off guard, capture him, and collect a (hopefully substantial) bounty for him. He approaches him and lets Tobi press his mask against Kakuzu’s mask in their version of a kiss. He resolves to study the Bingo Book in-depth tonight before bed; surely Tobi’s identify must be in there somewhere.

Deidara

The look on Deidara’s face is as he approaches Tobi is indecipherable, even to the one who has the sharingan. Fear, anxiety, excitement — and something else Obito just can’t read. And as for Obito himself — what exactly IS it that he feels for Deidara?? He’s nothing more than a pawn, right? A means to an end, as Madara would say. But ... there have been times. Times away from the various hideouts, out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but their packs and their thoughts, that Deidara has shown himself to be remarkably different from the Deidara that the others (except, likely, Sasori) sees. A quiet young man. A deep thinker. Sensitive and kind. And — “Oi, Tobi; can I ask you something?” “Yes, Senpai?” “When — when I was under the mistletoe ... did me and you kiss? Or did I really faint like you said?” A beat of quiet, and then, “Senpai always says that the past doesn’t matter, so why should it matter if we kissed or not?” Deidara chuckles and shakes his head. “You always choose to remember the most random things I tell you, hm. Damn you — I can never tell what goes on in your brain, Tobi.” “You wanna know what Tobi’s thinking right now? Tobi thinks that Senpai — Senpai is one of the most beautiful creatures Tobi has ever seen.” Deidara blushes fiercely at this, and tries to cover up his embarrassment by saying, gruffly , “Let’s just get this over with, Tobi, hm.” So Obito obliges him. He moves his mask to expose his mouth, sweeps Deidara’s long hair back, tilts him, cups his chin with his thumb and forefinger, and gently leans into him with his lips. Deidara resists at first, hesitant, but eventually he finds his arms circling Tobi’s broad shoulders, holding him tightly. He HAS to hold on because he’s terribly dizzy; he’s not quite sure what’s happening to him, but Deidara feels as though he’s falling down a very deep hole inside of his mind, and Tobi is the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. The kiss finally ends when (and only because) Sasori suddenly comes out of his room, yelling “Brat! I’ve been calling for you for ten minutes; you know I don’t like to be kept waiting!” Deidara steps away from Tobi, and he’s stumbling as though he’s a bit disorientated. “G-Goodnight, hm.” “G’nite Senpai! Sweet dreams!” Obito watches Deidara walk away, just barely conscious of the strange glance Sasori pitches in his direction when Deidara reaches his room.

[hesitationss]

@liberation-jumpsuit uncensored version!!

post kanabi, kakashi pulled a milder cloud strife and developed some of obito's memorable traits but because this was a trauma response, he did not actually consider his ideals with much thought. i still remember this one manga scene during the chunin exams where kakashi is talking to iruka and says something like "these are no longer you students, they're MY soldiers". he definitely developed a looser goofier attitude, as well as prioritizing team work, but he did not understand how to implement this because post rin death he socially isolated himself! child kakashi had resented his father as well as being traumatized by his suicide and internalized this to become a good soldier. then there is kakashi who dedicated his entire life to his dead teammates, but is actually able to learn to exist for the future (albeit athe military state), but then we have obito.

obito who during kanabi bridge refers to himself as the "washout of the elite uchiha clan" he is an orphan during wartime (his grandma is filler/anime only) he was in naruto's exact position and could only find usefulness in contributing to the war effort. as child with no support, he really thought sakumo was so cool for not abandoning his teammates/friends. to obito, being a ninja still didn't hit as being a soldier because his priority was still his friends/teammates (kakashi included). when he cries on his missions he is understanding how scary and bad war is. like obito has truly seen the horrors of child soldiers and war (that they retconned itachi to have... tbh when obito is manipulating sasuke by talking about itachi's motives i truly see it as obito speaking on his own pain) amd through madara's manipulation, obito becomes disillusioned!! but at the heart of it, it is still motivated by the love for his teammates. it is why even when he and kakashi fight, he trusts kakashi to remove the seal on his heart. throughout the series they act parallel to each other with a plethora of identity issues. kakashi misinterpreting obito's will and taking up his personality and obito "becoming" madara and tobi.

like ofc there is much more info post kanabi bridge, but when you get to it it just kind of hits you like oh EVERYTHING about kakashi is about this "idea" of obito that kakashi continues to cling to like he has his sharingan and has to look at it everyday remembering that obito said "I'll be your eyes, show me the future without war kakashi" or something like that. Also in anime, kakashi was anbu for a his teen to adult life, and that in itself would've made kakashi aware of konoha military industrial complex like "ah yes war is inescapable because of economic reliance and i am a part of secret police". and then you think about team 7s genin bell test when naruto says he wants to be on the hero's of war memorial stone without knowing what it means and kakashi tells him what it really means and you are like WAIT HE JUST SPENDS HIS TIME DEPRESSED LOOKING AT OBITO'S NAME TRYING TO BE HIM and yeah 👉🏼👈🏼

people who rlly like kakashi (all of my naruto mutuals) and people who really like obito (me) are like 2 ships in the night because their backstories are about eachother (and rin) and we are interpreting connecting to parallel themes... like kakashi [redacted] where as obito [redacted] and when you get to the kanabi bridge episode you're like OH even pre shippuden everything kakashi every said to his students was about him... and [redacted] so you **** **** ****** ***** 💔

[phoenixyfriend]

I am seized by a fatal need for courtroom ninja drama fic

But not serious courtroom drama. I'm talking Phoenix Wright style Nonsense.

(Some of this was provided by the folks over in @sloaners​‘ server, but the bulk of it was me spitballing nonsense at people who actually know the games, which I do not. I do paraphrase a few times to make it more feasible as a tumblr post/fic concept, rather than a rapidfire text conversation.)

Or one of those like. Reality TV paternity test things? But specifically in my mind the people involved in the actual paternity are a married couple and someone that joined them to be their third, and Clan Elders are throwing a fit about how the baby might not be the heir by blood! while the actual parents are like "I could not care less, this is our child, all three of us, please stop getting involved."

HashiMitoMada would be a VERY good option for the paternity nonsense, mostly because I can see Madara screeching at his own elders about how he already said Izuna would be his heir and he's not changing his mind!

Tobirama is just begging the paternity test to work faster off-screen because he's the only person with the machines to make it happen.

(Hashirama is just. Moping in a corner.)

"I just had to INVENT a paternity test that works before the birth! I had to figure out how to test amniotic fluid! If you assholes make me do something this stupid on such short notice again, I will be digging some shallow graves!" "...for who?" "I haven't decided yet."

Anyway, jumping back to like a Phoenix Wright-style murder investigation.

The victim was Danzo. Even the prosecution isn't actually that interested in making sure someone gets arrested, but they're legally obligated to do at least try. A bunch of people all acting really suspicious about who killed him. There is at least one shitty fake mustache-on-glasses disguise to provide a paper-thin alibi.

WAIT The other thing this gives us is ninjas in three-piece-suits but half of them wear the suits wrong. I’m talking mismatched buttons. The wrong way of tying their tie. Sewn-on-cufflinks. This is Naruto, for instance.

Tobirama would wear it properly, except he's rushing about in a lab coat, screaming at everyone to get out of his way because he's The Entire Forensics Team.

(This is the part where I have to confess that I have only seen the live-action movie of Phoenix Wright, as I don't game, so I just have the live action and tumblr osmosis.)

At this point, of course, we gotta ask: Who is the most Belligerent Witness And who is the Helpful™️ Witness that's super enthusiastic but entirely useless

I can see, say, Mito being a solid witness that both defense and prosecution are really thankful for.

Modern gen you have like... Sasuke and Neji are both incredibly belligerent witnesses. Neji at least is polite about it but pulls the "only answers with the absolute minimum of information."

Lee and Gai would have the over enthusiasm but forget to say actual vital testimony until pressed, and Naruto would love to help but might not be entirely sure what the case even is.

Shikamaru falls asleep when the lawyers consult their partners. Prosecution A consults Prosecution B for thirty-seven seconds, then turns around and the witness is asleep at the stand.

Tobi (as in Obito with mask) is an incredibly frustrating witness. They have to declare a recess just so all the lawyers can recover their blood pressure. "Can we please get someone up on the stand with this guy as a handler? I'm--I'm going to explode."

Gaara: Helpful. Polite. Answers with detail. Answers the spirit of the question as well as the letter. Includes more detail. That's too much detail. Gaara please stop telling us about the sounds that bones make.

His testimony just drags on forever.

Ninken can and will take the stand! Pakkun even enjoys it! Some ninken require translators.

ABURAME TRANSLATING FOR A RANDOM GIANT CENTIPEDE THAT WITNESSED A MURDER IN THE FOREST OF DEATH

There are arguments about whether or not the testimony can count since nobody else can confirm the translation except Other Aburame so how do they know the Aburame aren't part of the coverup.

"Okay, so this Danzo guy had like fifty shell companies but I think I found the route that leads back to him?" "Nah, that one goes to a guy that died eighty years ago that's still collecting pensions: his family lied and said he was still alive for the money." "Fuck!"

Also I just. I love the idea of Sasuke and Madara being the exact opposite kind of belligerent witness.

Also, Orochimaru answers with pretty much the exact kind of wording as Gaara, but where Gaara is trying to be helpful and provide detail for the sake of the case, and failing to see that it's maybe not necessary, Orochimaru just wants to see people squirm. ...similar thing happens with Sakura and Kabuto. Similar phrasing, very different energy.

I keep picturing all of Team Taka as part of Forensics and Evidence Collecting ajshakshjd

Juugo, holding up a rabbit: I found a witness.

Karin joins forensics and Tobirama nearly weeps from joy until he finds her criminal record "Shit, that was supposed to get thrown out when I turned eighteen."

Tobirama: I asked for an assistant, not a criminal. Karin: I'm on parole. Tobirama: That makes things worse. Karin: I know how to use a [concerningly advanced machine that I, a business major, cannot name]. Tobirama: ...never mind, I'm keeping you.

Karin: I know how to DNA sequence AND use LA-ICP-MS Tobirama: [weeps with joy]

Suigetsu would be great at blood splatter analysis. ...I think I read somewhere that blood spatter analysis is actually over in 'fake science that's pushed by cops and media but actually doesn't work' BUT apparently it’s in the Ace Attorney games so we’re going to ignore reality a bit. We’ve already got dogs and rabbits and centipedes as witnesses, what’s a bit of blood spatter?

He's also probably really good at cause of death stuff? Like looking at corpse and figuring out how long it took the victim to die, which blow did it, whether any damage was inflicted post-mortem, etc.

Sasuke is usually too busy playing Belligerent Witness but sometimes goes to join Taka for... uh... reasons.

Juugo: [takes the stand] Lawyer: Hey, uh, why's that Uchiha guy with him? The witness-- Judge: No, no, we need Uchiha Sasuke on hand when questioning Expert Animal Handler Juugo. Lawyer: ...why? Judge: Property damage.

(Sasuke as a work partner with Juugo, also moonlighting as a witness/suspect in Danzo's murder.)

One time they need Juugo but can't find him even though court is already in session and he said he'd be here, turns out he was lured away by Kakashi's army of dogs. Kakashi didn't notice until he turned to ask Pakkun if he could help find the missing expert.

Juugo is a decent lab assistant, I think?

Anyway.

Tobirama taking on Team Taka as his forensics team while Orochimaru is... hm... traveling the country to promote his new autobiography, which is outselling the newest Icha Icha to Jiraiya's ire.

Sloane suggested “a case where it's all the Sannin as suspects in a murder. They would be THE WORST, say... the murder of Hanzo.”

To which I suggested “The Sannin are all suspects but the people on trial are the Ame trio, maybe?”

Which garnered the response of “It could be a surprise upset IN COURT that the trio should be on trial.”

We love a court upset.

Suigetsu finds out that the cause of death was actually an entirely natural heart attack, but while he was determining this, the rest of the team and the lawyers found like eight conspiracies by Zetsu, three by Danzo, four by Orochimaru, and an entire network of nonsense by Sasori.

INO IS THE PSYCHIC. I know her thing in canon is reading minds but pls. Ino is Maya. The Spirit Medium.

Is the judge: 1. Hiruzen 2. Hashirama 3. Hagoromo 4. Mifune 5. The Daimyou

(Old dude with authority, optionally easily distracted/questionably competent. I'd have gone for impressive facial hair but only Mifune and Hagoromo have more than like... Hiruzen's weird soul patch.)

It's not a soul patch but I don't know what facial hair is called and I can't just call it a goat beard

Response commentary was as follows: The Daimyou would unfortunately be closer to the personality of the ace attorney judge, more blindly agreeing with things that sound good :joy: Hiruzen could be fun if only for the competing facial hair for a beard, yes xD Hagoromo would possibly be most buckwild tho WELCOME TO MOON COURT

I managed to get this far with like... NO idea who the judges were except “IDK maybe Kakashi?” but consider:

...HashiMada rival lawyers

Dropping over to Izuna vs. Touka for when Hashirama and Madara inevitably become suspects of something or other themselves and have to be witnesses.

(Tobirama's too busy running blood tests, Anija, let Touka handle it, she's better at people anyway.)

...Hashirama is like. Marginally more put-together than Madara, right? So that... makes him Edgeworth... somehow... That feels wrong but Madara as Edgeworth feels even more wrong.

Madara is very into screaming OBJECTION

ALSO consider: Friction when a doctor from a nearby hospital gets called in to provide expert testimony on something because Karin is like "no hey I should be the one doing this" and then she sees how cute Sakura is.

But also at some point Kakashi vs. Gai for a nonsense case. Their personalities are both VERY FUN for this sort of thing.

[naruto-littlespace]

Akatsuki Littlespace Headcanons

I could and probably will write more, but I don’t feel like it right now, so here’s this.

Disclaimer 1: Littlespace, in the AU and in real life, is a coping mechanism for everything from everyday stressors to psychological disorders like PTSD. If you sexualize littlespace do not interact with this AU or me, I will block you.

Disclaimer 2: Littlespace in this post is slightly different from in real life, magic-ed up in a similar way to how ninjas are magic-ed up in the Naruto universe. Chakra-using littles actually revert to the size they were when they were their little ages, although they retain any bodily changes since then (little Kakuzu still has stitches, little Deidara would have hand mouths.) The exception of course is Sasori, whose body is manmade and doesn’t change. People also do not necessarily remember their big lives when they slip into littlespace, sometimes becoming confused about where they are and who they’re with. They will sometimes be confused about what time period they’re in as well, believing things to have happened that hadn’t happened yet in their little age but were far in the past in their adult age.

This isn’t how I’m going to treat littlespace w/ Naruto characters all the time on this account btw, it’s just an idea I’ve been playing around with, like the psychological defense of reverting to a childlike state inadvertently triggers a transformation jutsu to match.

Nagato:

Little age pre Yahiko’s death was 6-7, post is 2-4

Started regressing shortly after the formation of the original Akatsuki. She and Yahiko had to do research to figure out why their teenage friend had suddenly turned into a child, but after they learned they took care of him: treated him like a child, bought him kids books from the local thrift shop, tucked him into bed. He called them uncle and auntie.

He would stay in littlespace for a surprisingly long amount of time, for 4-6 hours on days between missions.

After Yahiko’s death he spent many days in a row regressed to age two. Konan scrambled to take care of him and handle her own grieving. After that was over he promised her she wouldn’t have to take care of him again.

Nowadays of course she still takes care of him when he regresses, but he tries to force himself out of it if he begins to.

He still has board books and stuffies, so if he does fully regress he’ll have one of his pein bodies bring them to him.

Being ~3 he doesn’t have the mental capacity to control all the Peins, so they just kind of idle for awhile.

Konan:

Little age is 3-5

Pre modern Akatsuki she didn’t like regressing at all and only did it involuntarily. She would handle it by either walking it off or reading Nagato’s board books by herself.

This continued pretty much until she started becoming friends with Kakuzu, who openly admitted he was a little (he thought she should know, in case it ended up delaying his missions--it was mostly so she would stick up for him to Pein. No, he wasn’t hunting bounties, there’s a perfectly logical explanation--)

So she had a bad day while she and Kakuzu were at the same base and went ‘can you please deal with me for a couple of minutes’ and he was like ‘ofc’ so she sat down in front of him and shrank down to a little girl and started crying. He picked her up and bounced her on his knee until she calmed down. She ended up staying little for a couple of hours because Kakuzu took her out of the office and telling her stories about his childhood while they prepared dinner.

Kisame becomes her caretaker too when the three of them start dating.

Sometimes she starts crying inconsolably about something she won’t talk about other than someone leaving her and something being unfair. Pein showed up during this one time and said he knew what she was talking about and it was none of her cgs’ concern which ofc made them concerned but they haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her about it.

Itachi:

Little age is 2-4 but since her chakra is often very low so she doesn’t always physically become that tiny.

She didn’t regress until after she joined the Akatsuki, but when she did Kisame wasn’t surprised. He reintroduced himself as her babysitter, slipped her a lollipop and took her to a library to pick out some kids books.

Loves to be pampered. Oh god it’s the only time she can relax at all

Wears reading glasses because they can’t get her in to an eye doctor appointment

She’s trans in this au because I say so

Likes playing with weasel and crow toys, esp when her caretaker (usually Kisame, Konan and Kakuzu as well when they’re around) plays the weasel and she’s the crow. She’ll tell stories where they go out to the woods to train or just hang out.

She loves to sit in laps <3

She eats a lot more in littlespace than out so whoever’s feeding her makes lots of food. For her to grow big and strong u know

Kisame:

Little age 0. He is just baby

Being reminded of the bloody mist triggers his littlespace, though he has to be in a bad headspace in the first place. It really does not happen often.

Post Akatsuki the first time he slipped was after he, Kakuzu and Konan started dating. Kakuzu woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of crying and woke Konan up immediately afterwards because holy sh*t there’s a baby in our bed!!

It was Kisame. Kakuzu picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Konan asked how he was so good with kids and he was like ‘oh I had a baby once.’ She does not ask him to elaborate. Kisame wakes up as an adult the next morning.

They keep a container of powder formula for him if he regresses but won’t get him a pacifier because they’re afraid he’d bite off and choke on the teat. They have bottles but Kakuzu makes the nipples for them out of one of his threads on the spot bc he’d bite through literally everything else with his tiny demon teeth.

Sasori:

Little age is unclear (unlike some of the others, he’s never said it.)

Signs he’s in littlespace: stops talking, stops walking if he can afford it, walks unsteadily and a little bowlegged if he can’t. Stops using ninjutsu and if he’s near a kitchen he might try to eat despite not having a digestive system anymore. Has been known to ask where Granny Chiyo is. The answer is ‘back home.’

Deidara got him a pacifier and a coloring book. He does use them but not when anyone else is watching, not even Deidara.

He is a bit upset when he’s reminded that his body is wooden. He would like to feel things please. But he learns to just enjoy the sensation of squishing a stuffie and his jaw chewing on a paci.

Deidara:

Not actually a little. He just hasn’t gone through sh*t like the rest of the Akatsuki have, and has coping mechanisms for when he is having a bad time.

He caretakes for Konan when her boys aren’t around and for Sasori if he’ll let him.

Hidan told him about littles after Kakuzu regressed in front of him and thought Deidara might need to know because of how much baggage Sasori has (he doesn’t know what it is but he can smell drama)

So he looked out for Sasori becoming a kid and learned instead to look for him not acting like an adult. He walked out of Hiruko and tried to eat in front of him and Deidara had to tell him he couldn’t have a strawberry because it was bad for his health and not because it would probably make his insides mold. It’s weird but Deidara is also weird and he makes it work.

Kakuzu:

Little age is 9-10

Post Akatsuki the first time he regressed was in front of Hidan in the middle of the woods. He didn’t recognize him and immediately tried to run and then beat him up when he chased him. Hidan had to think fast and tell him he was his new neighbor and pretend to be taking him home. The next time he was babysitting.

Sometimes asks where his husband is. The first time Hidan heard this his response was ‘what the f*ck’ and Kakuzu told him that was a bad word.

Enjoyed activities include reading, sparring, and to the surprise of some, hunting. He’s not bad w/ a bow and arrow.

The best way to keep him in/make him feel comfy in littlespace is to make him a meal. U can let him help to the extent that he sets the table or pours the drinks or smth (because he will ask) but take care of the food for him, because he hasn’t had someone else handle that for him in a long time.

Regressing isn’t necessarily a common thing for him to do but he’s one of the only ones whose regression can be triggered by physical pain as well as emotional. He can usually harden his skin to block attacks but if he doesn’t in time he may turn into a ten year old. It actually can surprise an opponent enough for Hidan to be able to take them out.

Hidan:

Not a little either.

Knew about littles bc there was an old man in his village who had ptsd from some long forgotten war and sometimes turned into a six year old.

Caretakes for Kakuzu pretty exclusively, unless Kakuzu is big and taking care of someone else, in which case he’ll help out if he’s feeling nice at the time. Itachi is actually his favorite to take care of because Itachi is a very manageable child.

Obito:

Little age varies wildly from about 1-11. He blocks his physical regression because he regresses Often and doesn’t want to blow his Madara cover.

He has been regressing since p much immediately after he got crushed. Madara was really having none of it and went from patiently waiting for him to become ‘big’ again to pretending it wasn’t happening, forcing Obito back into a uh. ‘’Normal’’’’ headspace

The Tobi act is actually covering his littlespace though when he’s an adult he has no idea how to realistically act like a kid so when he’s actually a kid it’s kind of jarring for all involved

When he’s a baby he just screams. Not really crying in distress but screaming because he can

He’s so eager for attention. Please talk to him! Play toys with him!!! Read a book, eat dango, run around outside, catch bugs, train!!!

Never mentions Kakashi or Rin but sometimes will mention his grandma or Lord Fourth as if he is the current Hokage

[justice4sasuke]

Tobi > Obito. That isn't even a question. That's fact. Tobi could've still been one of the final bosses of the manga without the need for a reveal, some random weirdo who thinks himself Madara even though Madara is right there is way more interesting than "boo hoo my underage gf that had a crush on my gay teammate died welp it's time to antagonise a pregnant woman, put bombs on a baby, genocide the fuck out of my clan, and start the 4th ninja war". Wow, Naruto, he's such a cool guy.

Tobi amused me at the time and I still find it somewhat funny, but something my brother and I talk about is there is something in the back of your head that's like...the fuck does Obito think he's doing. He's acting straight up Looney Tunes isn't he supposed to be depressed about the state of the world or something? I know he's pretending to be someone else but once again he's acting SO ridiculously cartoonish. The dissonance is unreal.

Also since I have ya'll here multiple people bring up Rin being underage and I have faith in you guys, I believe better of you, you know Rin died when she was a teenager and Obito liking her has nothing to do with age. Obito's fixation isn't creepy because he had a crush on her when they were both underage and he carried that fixation to adulthood, it's creepy for other reasons! I feel like the underage comments are trying to simplify the situation rather than confronting what is actually wrong with Obito's treatment of Rin. Not to mention it's just not a useful way to talk about the situation and is not at all helpful to anyone. And I think you guys know it doesn't matter and just want to make Obito as horrible as possible which he does a fine job of on his own! Let's be honest with ourselves and each other. It's not going to make Obito look any better so don't worry about that.

[mira--mira]

Not that BoAF would/has to end up like cannon, but if it did, imagine Child!Madara and Child!Hashirama time traveling to the future like in your other fic, except Sasuke’s and Madara’s fist meeting going quite different because....this Child has..Absolutely NO Idea How To Groom? His HAIR/FEATHERS. Are. A. DISASTER!!! And Madara’s adopt instincts activate before his fire instincts (Sai may or may not be blood 🩸 depending on what you want, but he’s still getting adopted with Shin) Also the village has forgot how,,,,Uchiha Uchiha’s are when, ya know, said uchiha isn’t repressing instincts because all of them remind him of the fact that his brother is the only other person alive (to his knowledge at least, i gotta say, I’m really curious to how Obito is doing having to act all not uchiha to keep cover, especially with how their chakra is different then other fire types ) with said instincts and the village isn’t exactly encouraging. Also would Sasuke with a lightning affinity meet Kakashi earlier in this world since...y’know, one element each. Speaking of this, does Obito still have Mokuton? Plus his fire affinity? Because he has the cells, or would it just function as an arm/leg/other body organs/areas?

Okay, this got crazy long so I put it under a readline LOL.

ajkdljsld BoaF is going to take a sharp right turn and kiss canon goodbye, but this is such a cute idea! Even more so bc if it’s the kiddos at the current chapter of BoaF...they’re nine. Madara is three years younger than Sasuke and I can just imagine the shenanigans that would result. (Tbh if events followed exactly the same Madara and Sasuke would end up with a similar relationship they have in OoT right now, but if they met before Naruto introduced them/under different circumstances it could work out quite differently.)

He’s nine and this boy is obviously three years his senior, but that Does Not Matter. Sasuke tries to escape, but Madara (and Hashirama) follow him around like ducklings. Very judgemental ducklings who criticize everything he does. You’re just going to run a comb through your hair once? You’re not going to return my affection after I haven’t seen you all day? You’re not going to observe proper eating rituals? You’re not going to dance properly? You’re not going to have bonfires/flicker competitions/sing?

Sasuke snaps at one point bc obviously there are no other Uchiha to do this with and (if we’re working on a weird BoaF-canon fusion universe) the traditional cultural practices have fallen out of favor. Madara, aghast, solves the problem the best way he knows how. Adoption. Even if technically Sai and Shin are too old by Uchiha custom, desperate times call for desperate measures. In BoaF it’s very unusual for the Uchiha to live alone so Madara would 100% insert himself and Hashirama in Sasuke’s home. Their relationship is a bit...odd as Madara very clearly tries to take on the role of an older brother when he’s just...not. Sasuke’s annoyed but refuses it’s nice to have something other to focus on, he reconnects to his culture more, and he’s never had a younger sibling so he tries to assert himself as the older brother. He still...freaks out a bit with Madara’s skill level and it takes some time to work through it but bc of their age difference it’s less “this is another rival I have to beat” and more like “this kid is weirdly strong and that’s upsetting to my progress but I’m more worried about Itachi coming back to kill him.”

Hashirama is just there, chilling, and if it is the 9 y/o version of him, Itama hasn’t died yet and he and Madara technically haven’t talked about making the village. So all of this is weird and strange, but so amazing and this is a great idea! 

Obito would have to take measures to control his chakra and makes sure it doesn’t slide into overflow territory but he should be able to manage to do that decently well. If there’s a sensor among the Akatsuki it might raise some...interesting questions about his chakra signature and how much it resembles Itachi’s. This would be a big problem when he masquerades as Tobi but might actually help his claim of being the Uchiha Madara. As for physical appearance he would choose to cut off his memorial beads and pluck his feathers (which, by BoaF’s customs is tantamount to rejecting the clan altogether) and Itachi would do the same. 

If canon did play by BoaF’s one element rule, there is a p good chance Sasuke would be introduced to Kakashi (or another raiton user but lbr it’s gonna be Kakashi bc he also has the Sharingan) earlier. The Academy would probably have days where teachers/jonin were invited to demonstrate their own elemental specialties. This would probably have lasting repercussions on the three-man genin team dynamic, and it’d be pretty common that when assigning teams they’d try to match elemental affinities if the graduate expressed an interest in pursuing that specialty specifically. Even then it’d be pretty common to have switch days where genin with different elemental affinities go learn from a jonin/teacher. 

[kyogre-blue]

Naruto Shippuden, ep 453-455

Itachi filler time. 

Itachi’s genin team was Team 2, under Minazuki Yuuki. The other two members were Inari Shinko and Tenma Izumo. 

Tenma’s dad was his clan’s leader but got sick and needed some special cat whiskers for the medicine. I know fandom likes to discuss team assignments a lot, so I guess this is more signs that they group more “important” kids together. I wonder if Shinko also had some weird deal. 

There is a two-legged human-sized cat in Sora-ku. Is Sora-ku the cat version of Mount Myouboku? 

Obito WHAT THE FUCK

The anime actually is not adapting this very well at all. It doesn’t give any context at all about what the hell happened, so I had to look it up. Apparently, Itachi’s genin team was given the mission of guarding the daimyo on his annual visit to Konoha (yes, they had genins do this). Why was Tobi attacking the daimyou? Who knows. Did he actually kill him? We would assume so, but wiki does not confirm. 

The daimyo seems to have had an ox-drawn carriage? 

Tenma was killed. Shinko quit being a shinobi afterwards. Itachi awakened his Sharingan (2 tomoe) and got promoted to chuunin shortly after. 

~

Sasuke’s family home had a pond with lots of koi fish. 

Shisui was apparently a jounin when Itachi was still an 8-9 year old genin. He actually still looks younger than Naruto and co did, so he’s like 12 at most. He really, really doesn’t sound like a kid tho. 

They just... didn’t even show any of the stuff with Shisui and Danzou, only Shisui dying. This filler is not well handled. 

Fugaku’s parenting is absolutely awful. Like, this filler does show him as being... a more moderate voice within the Uchiha, and he has moments where he smiles and is genuinely happy about his kids. But he’s just... whacked. Took a 4 year old out to the battlefield for some reason. Told a 9 year old that it’s cool that he saw his friend die because now he has a magic eye power. Etc. 

It’s really... something, to know that the scene where those three policemen are threatening Itachi about not betraying the clan, he’s only 11. What the fuck, seriously. 

Izumi is good at taijutsu. 

The Uchiha were spied on with long distance cameras, monitoring all over the district. The police’s activities were also kept track of. 

~

Fugaku had Mangekyou lol. This is why I can’t take it seriously any time someone says Madara and Izuna were the first to awaken it. He gained it during the 3rd war, when a friend gave his life to save him. He kept it secret from his own clan, to avoid more pressure to act. 

They are still reading the damn stone tablet. 

Fugaku says that only Madara has been able to control bijuu through the Sharingan and they don’t know if anyone else would ever be able to do so. But then he also says that he can use his Mangekyou to control the Kyuubi so??? What is the truth. Of course, Fugaku doesn’t know anything about how seals work, apparently, so whatever. 

Fugaku specifically wants to restrain only the higher ups in the village, rather than have outright fighting in the streets. His goal is a bloodless revolution. 

By comparison, Danzou just goes “lol kill them all, except your brother I guess” and Itachi goes for that?? “I could help the side that wants to kill no one, or I could go ahead and kill my own family” WOW 

I’ve seen comments that Tobi was the one who killed kids and such to make Itachi seem less to blame, but it’s the other way around here, at least. Tobi kills the police force, while Itachi is slaughtering people in their homes. 

Sandaime, when Itachi reports about killing hundreds of innocent people: “Good job! You did great. There was definitely no other way.”

Obito cuts his hair after the massacre. He was already part of the Akatsuki at this time, as a “newbie.” 

Orochimaru, Sasori, Kakuzu and Zetsu were also part of the roster. There is also Juzo and an unnamed extra. 

On the whole, this filler is rather poorly handled. The storyline is disjointed because they decided not to go over certain parts. Repeating themselves never stopped them before, and they could have... you know... wasted less time on the dumb Tsukuyomi dream filler instead... 

Also, Itachi’s decision to favor the village does not feel like it has any basis. All his musings about the meaning of life don’t link to the idea of the village over all else at all. Fugaku is literally giving him a choice with less death, and yet Itachi reasoning for rejecting it is not at all clear. You can only assume that he hates the clan, but why? 

[faceless-dude]

10 Fav Fandoms Ch2

Name your top 10 fav character from 10 different fandoms.

Thanks for the tag, @subdee and @hxhhasmysoul !

Well, since i was tagged twice, i can write about 20 i guess?

But to choose a favourite character is extremely difficult for me - most likely i love several characters equally...

Ofc my obsession with Gon is obvious but mostly because i can see a lot of myself in this character, especially when i remember my awful acts i still regret about.

So i write about my favourite characters dynamics instead!

And since for now I'm obsessed with HxH fandom (funny thing one of the russian translated versions is XxX), i will reffer to it a lot!

So here the ch 2:

11) Hiccup - Toothless (How to Train your dragon) dynamic

The most adorable thing in their relationship is that they accept each other's personalities just how are they are.

Hiccup felt himself not belonging to his world, Toothless is the last of his kind. They helped to each other to be themselves and that was the thing that helped them to start belonging to the world.

12) Deidara - Tobi (Naruto) dynamic

Deidara is probably my favourite character from "Naruto" and the way Tobi acts while being his comrade leds me to the thoughts that Tobi actually is that part of Obito that wasn't affected by all those terrible things that happened to him and turned him into Madara's minion. Tobi is a "real Obito".

13) Ahsoka - Anakin ("Star Wars: the Clone Wars" and "Star Wars: the Rebels") dynamic

There're no favourite characters in CW (except Kenobi, he's way better here than Kenobi in the actual movies) but these two's dynamic is the best for me here.

They're not just master and apprentice, they are brother and sister, they are best friends here. For me Ahsoka and Gon are really similar (to be more specific, 14 years old Ahsoka and Gon, they act and behave similar way, so i guess older Gon will be much more calm and gentle just like 16, 18 and 30 years old Ahsoka).

And of course the moment Ahsoka and Darth Vader met in the "Rebels" is one of the most painfull for fans.

*I hope our favourite boys won't reunite like this lol*

14) Kappa - Siren (Castle Swimmer) dynamic

They're just my favourite gay fishie dorks who wants to start living for themselves at last. They deserve happiness.

15) Milo Thatch - Kida Gagash (Atlantis: the lost empire) dynamic

This is one of the rarest moments when i do ship characters. These two are just perfect for each other, they could feel for each other from the very beginning.

16) Harry Potter - Draco Malfoy (all HP books and movies) dynamic

I was hoping till the very end that they would be friends one day :"((((((

17) Jim Hawkins - John Silver (Treasure Planet) dynamic

That's obvious, they're like father and son to each other.

18) Chiro - Antauri (Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!) dynamic

I WAIT FOR HIATUS TO END AS MUCH AS FOR HXH DAMMIT

Well, another father&son relationship. The whole monkey team become Chiro's family, not only his mentors. (Especially when creator confirms that Chiro's parents are actually alive, so it seems that they abandoned him just like Gon's parents????)

19) Saitama - Speed o' Sound Sonic (One Punch Man) dynamic

Damn, i look forward for each their meeting in manga.

20) Jack - Aku (Samurai Jack) dynamic

That's the whole story plot actually. So if you don't like their dynamic - you don't like the story.

And now i remembered a lot of different favourite dynamics whyyyyyy did you tag me 😂😂😂😂😂