a gymnastics class coworker, to dick : "wow, that's a lot of siblings! do you all get along well?"
dick, with a forced smile: "oh, you know, we have our ups and downs..."
cut to where damian has gone full wile e. coyote and is painting a photorealistic false exit on the wall of tim's garage, as tim replaces all damian's hair gel with superglue.
meanwhile in the background, cass and jason are having yet another violent ideological debate about the meaning of batman (aka jason tries to off someone or starts monologuing about how batman should kill, and cass hunts him down with extreme prejudice and kicks the everliving shit out of him.)
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happy mothers day from the batboys!!
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storybook bats :)
robpunzel, red riding hood, timberella, the little merbat (& her prince!), duke in wonderland, and dami of beanstalk fame (he totally stole the magic beans and ran. he would never sell batcow)
(I know the different background colours are an eyesore oTL don’t worry about it)
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HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE
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tiny tim gettin big brothered tf out of
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Tim, [pointing his staff at the human traffickers]: YOU ARE OUTGUNNED
Jason, [hyping him up]: WHAT?
Tim: OUTMANNED!
Jason: WHAT?!
Tim: OUTNUMBERED OUTPLANNED
Jason: PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!
Tim: PUT YOUR GUNS DOWN ON MY COMMAND
Jason: HAND EM OVER!!
Tim: THIS IS HAMILTON MY RIGHT HAND MAN!
Jason, [getting his guns out]: PWO PWO PWO PWO PWO-
Goons: *shaking* what the FUCK are Batman feeding his partners--
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I feel like the Robins probably watched horror movies to really up their game, taking notes on the gestures and body language that would creep you out. "Criminals are a superstitious lot", so yeah the guy in full body armour that could beat you up would suck, but a small child, somewhere in the dark, with an echoing laugh all around you as you fire off a hail of bullets, somehow dodging everything and gleefully messing you up. That's psychological warfare.
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Damian walking past Tim's room to get water in the middle of the night hearing, "yes, I know. I know. You're excited to get to the bottom of this problem. I'm aware. I hear you, really I do. You make a good case. I would really love to work on it, too." and wondering who he's speaking to, only for him to continue, "but you're trying to be GOOD about your silly little human body right now. So get up. Go to bed. You need to sleep. Don't be an idiot. Come on. It's bedtime. For real. Let's go." so Dami peeks in, and it's just Tim talking to himself, growing more frustrated by the moment (though his tone suggests nonchalance). He's still firmly planted in the chair. He tried his best.
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ok now is the time where i admit that alighterwood got into my head and now i have a batfam rewrite au plotline sitting in my outline drafts
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A Catfish??
All of the bat children are horrified when they found out the boy Damian has been talking online, someone they were expecting to be a 5’3 twig. Someone who Damian has been crushing on for years turned out to be a 6’3 muscle-bound fucker that makes Jason look small.
They are even more horrified when they realized they never gave Damian the internet talk and for some reason Bruce is not reacting like this is something of concern and what the fuck-?!
The reason Bruce is not freaking out like the rest of his kids is quite simple.
He can see the last of the baby fat clinging to Danny’s face, he notices how even though Danny is a walking tank of a being, he still glances at the doorways like they could not be trusted.
Like he wasn’t used to his height.
No Bruce is not concerned, because all signs and research just points to one fact.
Danny Fenton has came into a Fenton-sized growth spurt.
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Batfam as cats
Tim: Tim vs Tim (he’s fighting his intrusive thoughts)
Dick: he found the photos that Bruce kept
Damian: he’s cute but will bite
Barbra: shh she’s working
Cass: she lurking
Steph: she says hi
Jason: he will hurt you if you interrupt his read time again
Duke: he did smth and you’ll never know what it is. It will be the mystery that will haunt you.
Bruce: I’m Batman
Part two
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Okay, I know Damian has a point, but I can't stop looking at his hair. He kind of looks like that baby from the incredibles.
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you, batfam blogger, do you know that duke thomas is his own hero and isn't just a prop that you can use to make your favorites look good
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