#Things are piling up and becoming too much and making me anxious

[curiouselleth]

.

[vamptarot]

Ten Things That Are F### Cool About You | PAC

pile one pile two pile three

how to choose a pile . . . choose which picture you are most drawn to or close your eyes, breath and read the one your eyes land on! ᡣ𐭩

— ⭑.ᐟ today I saw a pick a card that not only pissed me off but also disgusted me due to how mean the reader was in every single pile. I checked. their egoistic approach annoyed me. instead of spreading hate, I wanted to remind you why you are an awesome person. not proof read.

pile one : - cold drink !

𐙚 : the high priestess, eight of wands, nine of wands reversed, death

bottom of the deck: five of wands

♡ ��� why you are so cool

1. You always research about a topic before talking about it! I think this is very cool because a lot of people spread misinformation without even knowing it and that’s why fake fun facts exist. You are not like that though! You feel a sense of responsibility and thirst for knowledge, which in itself makes you a reliable person. - and source! -

2. You protect those who cannot stand up for themselves and I think that is very cool! Usually, you might have a hard time standing up for yourself but if it’s someone more vulnerable than you then you will give your all. You will raise your voice, yell, make valid arguments and even fight if necessary. - This differs person to person but the imaginary I am getting is protecting children, animals, women and young teens (from creeps to be exact) -

3. You work on yourself and enter new beginnings even if it’s scary at times, it can be hard and scary but that doesn’t make you back off from actually trying your best to become someone that you can be proud of. There is always a sense of hope within you that is very admirable.

4. You know how to keep privacy! A lot of people don’t, and don’t value it as much as they should. Having a healthy boundary with privacy is a privilege not many realise they have.. also, if you happen to share an intimate moment with someone you don’t run your mouth but rather treasure it as a memory as a form of respect.

5. Some people in this pile have temper issues, obviously, don’t take it if that doesn’t apply to you but I am seeing that for those of you who can resonate with that you are doing a really good job keeping it under control. You are not a hot headed person.

6. You are very experimental with looks! I do think this makes you a very beautiful person, because there are several things that suit you and look cool on you. If you like taking pictures I hope you know that you look beautiful and gorgeous in each one of them, one day you will look back at them with a smile even if you didn’t like that one thing because at least you gave it a try.

7. Zero judgment detected in your soul. Seriously, you could be the sort of person that never freaks out at people’s ‘hear me out’s but rather just go ‘yep, I get why you are into that’ even though you have no attraction to whatever character or person they said. You get their point, it’s just not one that you will make.

8. My fashion babies in this pile are slaying each and every time! You could take dressing fashionable in a seasonal manner mildly seriously. You don’t expect everyone to do it, but it’s most definitely something you take a lot of joy in. It’s really cool, your style is a 10/10. - Yes, even if you change it up often. -

9. Even if you are anxious you can do things so incredibly well. You remind me of a video I once saw of a girl with anxiety making a phone call, her hands were shaking uncontrollably the whole time but she didn’t stop being polite and kind. I think that’s you. Even in moments of being scared, you are kind to people.

10. You have such a beautiful voice. I mean your singing voice, but if you are not confident in that this could of course mean your regular speaking voice too. There is something comforting and yet bittersweet about your voice. It makes people feel home at times when they are sad.

— ✮⋆˙ die with a smile - bruno mars & lady gaga , ‘good luck babe’, 2003 , enha photoshoots , guitar injuries (from the string breaking) , white dahlias , glitter videos (those 2021 ones) , ‘good luck, charlie!’ , wavy hair , not well known ethnicity , taurus , capricorn , pisces

that’s all my beautiful pile one! I do think you happen to be very shy, but I do hope that you know that you genuinely have so much love to offer. there is much more to you than what you show the world, but I think you already know that. thank you for reading

paid readings

pile two : - peace sign ! ✌🏻

𐙚 : page of pentacles, eight of swords reversed, queen of wands, five of pentacles reversed, page of cups reversed, the star reversed

bottom of the deck: judgement

♡ ⢷ why you are so cool

1. YOU THINK YOU ARE SO COOL AND MYSTERIOUS BUT YOUR HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND KINDNESS 🫵🏻 YOU TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES AND WOULD RATHER SACRIFICE YOURSELF THAN TO EVER SEE THEM SUFFER !!YOU ARE SENSITIVE AND LOVABLE !!!!!!!!!

2. After all that you have went through you are still here and you are still standing. All that happened but rather than it destroying you completely or bringing you down you allowed yourself to heal and I am very proud of you for that.

3. Your judgement of people are very great! Of course if you don’t like someone of have mean thoughts of them you will keep it to yourself in order to not upset anyone, but you are still really good at telling their personality by their behaviour. Other people might not know but you do.

4. You are a secret little romantic! I bet it makes you shy to express your emotions outward and so freely. Truth to be told, you want to experience so much romantic things and wish to think of them without experiencing negative emotions. This makes you cool because even though you have a hard time with it, you know it’s a part of you and accept it.

5. You are so kind to animals, take care of them and most people reading this pile have a pet too. I think animals are just naturally drawn to you regardless of what they are. - as in pet, stray or wild animal. - It’s like they know they can be safe with you.

6. ‘You can slap a bitch if you need to’. Literally, that’s what I heard.. and I think most people here take pride in it too right? Just make sure to not get into unnecessary fights. It’s not what makes you cool though. It’s that you keep to your word. If you say you are gonna do it, you really will.

7. A lot of you find comfort in the stars and moon. In an aesthetic sense, but also there is a deep sense of appreciation for them that not many people have. They just put you in awe. If you are into astrology you have such a deep and profound understanding of it. One that not many people have.

8. Honestly, your view of life is sort of clouded and not completely “whole” but that’s alright. Exactly because day by day you do your best to learn and never turn an opportunity to see life from a wider perspective down, even if you might have done this in the past.

9. You are sooo talented, and you don’t even realise that. You are amazing in creating things; anything that is physical. This is especially true if you like jewellery, as I think designing or just making your own craft is something that you would/could enjoy doing if you put your own unique twist into it. It’s just something that makes you feel alive.

10. You are so confident! Even if you might not always feel like it, on the outside you always appear confident and aware of your surroundings. Someone composed who wants to present themselves in the best way possible. - You probably pay a lot of attention to your posture. -

— ✮⋆˙ ‘I don’t even wanna do this anymore’ , homework from 1 am ‘til 4am , 9 to 5 , jean purses ? , ditto - new jeans , a bent photocard (of whoever) , 7 - JK , stars , something about the four seasons ? , fave colour = red , ‘letta’ , cappuccino & frappuchino , friendly banter , 111 , 1212 , 2011 , sagittarius , aries , leo

i am sorry for yelling at you at the first point my pile 2 but some younger people in this pile - esp teenagers - like to put on a mean girl persona when that’s not them at all. what’s the point of that? you can’t please people with someone you are not. I sincerely wish that’s something you will remember my sweethearts. thank you for reading

paid readings

pile three : - megaphone !

𐙚 : three of wands, six of swords, knight of pentacles, justice, king of swords, the lovers

bottom of the deck: five of pentacles reversed

♡ ⢷ why you are so cool

1. You know when to walk away from a situation, which is unironically awesome. Like sure this could be considered a negative trait but you aren’t toxic with it. You just simply know your worth.

2. You have a person you are in love with for several years now right? At least, most people in this pile do. You have unwavering loyalty and love in your heart that no one can take away from you, no matter what. I think that’s very cool.

3. You treat children really well! Which should be a given, but many people are way more mean and cruel hearted than what children should deserve. After all, they are humans too and fragile ones at that. You are very responsible and a safe space for them. I wholeheartedly believe that’s cool.

4. When you call people out, you do so with evidence. I do like that a lot, you don’t just accuse people but rather keep collected and calm even if you are angry or despise the situation that you were put into.

5. Did you ever take a look at your side profile? You are quite ethereal, you have such an unique beauty to you. I do also believe that you look beautiful in your home country’s traditional clothing style:

6. You are stubborn, but not in a sense of annoying people or being selfishly caught up in your desires. This is a stubbornness that is found in people with leader like qualities, that people can rely on. You are stubborn in a sense of wanting to create a better future for yourself and those around you who you deem to deserve it. - bc let’s face it, some humans suck. -

7. I am sorry if this sounds weird, but your hand is always occupied with something. You are a very busy person, even if you might not believe so. You gotta do this, and you gotta do that. You have many interests, hobbies and responsibilities too. Yet you manage to juggle them so well, it’s hard to guess when you are stressed out.

8. Whenever you are around you light up people’s day and mood. You are such a sunshine child, people love to have you around. Even if you believe that’s not the case, people do appreciate you a lot more than you realise.

9. If you have a love for photography I hope that you know that you have a beautiful talent. You are amazing at taking pictures, making them pretty and seeing the beauty in every single little thing even if other people might not be able to do so.

10. You are really good with finances and saving up despite the anxiety it causes you. Give yourself a pat on the back because that is not something many people are able to truly say about themselves. Many people in this pile were raised in a way to appreciate money but not let it consume you, which I think you nailed pretty good!

— ✮⋆˙ somewhere over the rainbow - israel kamakawiwo’ole , early 00s & 10s hawaii , crying at night , daydreaming for hours , ‘thank goodness ‘ , my little pony , new hyper fixation , heat , ten to five , hair being washed by someone else , flamingos , pimples ? , papaya - sorry, ik gross to mention right after , pink skincare bottles , 555 , juliet , lucifer , 10th house

my dearest little lamb your energy was the calmest, sweetest and most welcoming out of all the piles. I am truly happy that you decided to read my pac / participate in it. it was truly a pleasant experience to channel for you 🫶🏻 thank you for reading

paid readings

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When they Accidentally Bring Up and Insecurity| Seungmin Pt3

Pt1 Pt2 BONUS

Sorry it took so long 🙈🙈🙈

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

It had been a couple of nights since you had been over at the dorms for game night.

You had been texting Seungmin even less now, slowly becoming more and more sensitive to every single thing that you did. Even when you noticed he had initiated almost every single conversation since the inicdent.

It had finally come time for you guys to move, and anxiety gnawed at you. You felt it grip you, and a part of you regretted every agreeing to move in with Seungmin.

The car ride was silent other than the clinking of the last few miscellaneous items you had taken from your apartment. And while Seungmin was moving in with you- you had agreed to have him spend a couple of nights a week at the dorm if he still wanted to, so some of his stuff was still there.

It was almost painful how quiet the car ride was- but you assumed it was for the best. You didn't want to have Seungmin hate your chatter even more than he already did.

While you were contemplating how to go about communicating once home; Seungmin was contemplating how to go about getting you to speak to him normally again.

It had been eating at him, and while he didn't normally find himself anxious or sensitive to these kinds of things since he believed he could solve things logically around 90% of the time- he had labeled this as part of the 10% of the time that rationality would succumb to emotion.

And it seemed that no time was better than that conversation was now as you guys found yourself stuck takin a detour due to a pile up that now added 20 minutes to your ride due to having to basically turn all the way around.

"Y...Y/N?" Seungmin started.

You turned to your boyfriend, and noticed a lilt in his voice that was never present before. His confidence was cracked a little, and you wondered what could have started to make that wall deteriorate.

"Hm?"

Seungmin drummed his fingers. "Uh...I...I know you said that what I had texted you a while back wasn't hurtful. But...I couldn't help but feel you were telling me a lie."

You blinked a few times and shook your head, giving a small chuckle. "I didn't lie. I'm fine really."

"But you're not."

His eyes stared straight ahead at the road, and you noticed the way the muscles in his jaw jumped slightly. You could see the fat of his cheek move around slightly too- the subtly of it giving you the conclusion of his biting his cheek to release some of his nerves.

"You're not okay. And...its...its making me not okay." He swallowed, and you focused on the movement of his throat, because you didn't want to say it.

You didn't want to say how something his said jokingly had planted a nasty seed in your head that couldn't help but spread all throughout you and cloud you with the thought of you being too much for him.

You moved your mouth to say something after a minute of silence but were cut off by Seungmin's soft sniffles.

"I'm not okay. I'm afraid. I feel like we're breaking up-" He says, his words coming out a little strangled. "I'm afraid that you hate me- and that you're going to leave me because I hurt you." You noticed his fingers trembling on the wheel and you gently reached your hands out, guiding him to the side of the road, and pushing the hazards.

You let him shake quietly as you kept your hand rested on his- which gripped the steering wheel so hard his blood flow was cut off a little and his knuckles were starting to become slightly chilled. You unbuckle your seatbelt to move closer to him.

"Min...I'm not..."

He rested his head on the wheel and released his hands, reaching out to hold your fingers.

"I'm not like him..." He you saw his shoulders move up and down slowly as his breathing returns to a slightly more normal pace. "I'm not..."

He swallows and you feel him shake as he tries to gain steady breath. "And to think I worried you - or even acted in a way that made you think of him again..."

You swallow and he lets out a humorless laugh.

"I'm possessive. When we first started dating I had told you that I would make sure you never thought of him again...I've kept that promise in the intention I had made it in but not in the way I should have kept it."

You can't help but let out a small breath at that. You hadn't thought of your ex at all, Seungmin excelled in every aspect of life compared to the guy you had wasted so much time with.

Which is why it hurt you to see that Seungmin hadn't realized that.

"I'm sorry Min. Please don't cry."

He shakes his head.

"Y/N don't apologize. You don't need to apologize. You never have to apologize for feeling hurt."

Your eyes meet him, and while they're still harbored with unshed tears, a look of intensity is what you take notice of first.

"You never have to apologize for feeling upset. I made a joke about something that stems a lot of insecurities. Which is valid and one hundred percent understandable. I tend to have a quick mouth but that isn't an excuse for me to dismiss or minimize your feelings. I truly wasn't aware that the reason your previous relationship ended was because of that dumbass not being able to appreciate the most beautiful thing about you."

You blink twice as Seungmin speaks again.

"I miss your voice. I miss you telling me every detail about your day. I miss hearing things that make me feel like I haven't been apart from you for even a second-" A look of melancholy washes over his face and his voice softens even more. "I never want you to feel like you have to silence yourself. You should be able to be you, and be with someone who loves that about you. Who loves to hear you talk abd if you ever leave me you should still know that you should never have to-"

"Seungmin, do you ever shut up?" You asked, a teasing lilt in your voice, and you placed your finger on his mouth. And just that simple turn of words made his heart soar.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" He asks moving his lips down to your palm in a soft kiss, then moving your hand to his cheek.

"Only if you stop spewing this nonsense about me leaving you. To be honest I thought it was you who would leave me."

Seungmin moves quickly and you barely have time to register what's going on before he's pulling you onto his lap in an extremely uncomfortable position to kiss you.

When you pull back you laugh. "Is that your kind way of saying we should both shut up?"

He just hums in acknowledgement his eyes still locked on your lips as he pulls you in for another intense kiss- both of you ignoring the fact your shoulder was pressing into car horn causing a few people to shoot nasty glares at the car with a consistent horn.

"There. Does that show you I'm not going to break up with you? Actions speak louder than words or whatever?"

You nod and sit back.

"Say it."

"Say what?" You ask while reaching out to gently wipe a string of your spit from your boyfriend's chin.

"Say that you won't break up with me. Ever."

"Minnie we just made out-"

"I want to hear you verbalize. I want to hear your voice saying you won't break up with me." He whines.

You raise a brow and humor him.

"I will never break up with you Kim Seungmin."

He truly smiles, for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Because I love you. More than anything...and also because if you think I talk a lot than wait until you meet my mom." You groan. "Speaking of which she wants to come to Korea to meet you. She's in some weird familial feud with my Aunt and thinks me being in a relationship give her the upper hand?"

Seungmin chuckles as he flicks of his hazards and starts pulling onto the road again. "Why is that?"

"Well you see, my cousin ended up getting pregnant. But come to find out she has four different side pieces - one of which is her boyfriend's brother. My mom had made a comment about how it seemed my sister was making a puzzle. Then my Aunt brought up my moms failed marriage which then led into a whole thing and now its and even bigger thing. Its kinda complex and hard to explain. Took me and Jisung four coffee dates to stalk the social media pages well enough to figure out where each guy was during the conception period. And her boyfrfend was in Cancun so it sure as hell wasn't him."

Seungmin couldn't help but smile the entire rest of the way there, feeling fulfilled and content with your noise being the backdrop to everything in his life.

Knowing that he would be content with listening to share 24/7 if it meant you felt loved and heard. If it meant that he was being the best lover to you. And if it meant that you would never feel the need to silence yourself for being you.

Because it was you who he loved and prioritized most- and he wanted to make sure that his love was as loud and consistent and unending as the aspect he found most beautiful about you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @moony-9

@seungmincenteric @panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt

@sseawavee @shuporanporang @amarecerasus

@softkisshyunjin @whoa-jo @meanergreener

@rikibun @ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade

@y4yayael @skzstan12345 @mariteez

@allys-reads @jazziwritesthings @skzstannie

@yongbokkiesworld @kkkeopi @neverendingstay

@joyfulkittencherryblossom @velvetmoonlght @minsungsthirdwheel

[yelenasdiary]

Fluffmas!! Natasha x fem reader, early Christmas morning in the compound, Natasha was too anxious/excited to sleep and reader finds her sitting by the tree just admiring the lights. Little talk and snuggle together, they exchange small gifts.

Early Bird

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Summary: You catch Nat sitting under the tree.

Fluff

Warnings: None, if there is any, please let me know | 1.1K

AC: Literally cannot stop thinking about Nat looking like a little kid in awe of the tree!! Thank you for sending this!! I hope you enjoy! x

Holiday Special Masterlist

You stirred awake, feeling the cozy weight of blankets wrapped around you as you went to naturally snuggle into your girlfriend only to find her side of the bed cold and empty. Your eyes barely opened, just enough to confirm her absence. 

“J.A.R.V.I.S, what’s the time?” You asked, your brows in a frown. 

“The time is 5:17am to be exact miss Y/L/N. Shall I turn the light on for you?” He asked. 

“Please don’t” you groaned, knowing the bright light would hurt your eyes. 

“No worries” the artificial intelligence replied. 

As you waited a few short moments thinking Nat was just using the bathroom or getting a glass of water, you slowly sat up, waiting for her to return. Your brain slowly switches on, reminding you that it was officially Christmas morning. J.A.R.V.I.S had turned the heating on to keep the compound from becoming a tin of coldness, the morning sun blocked out from the black out curtains that Tony had installed months ago.

With still no sign of Natasha walking through the door, curiosity got the better of you as you slipped out of bed and quietly made your way down the hall. Your body still coming to terms with being awake so early in the morning, you took the elevator to the bottom floor be wandering into the large living room.

There, beneath the Christmas tree, was your girlfriend, sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring intently at the lights. Her green eyes sparkling from the multicolored fairy lights that wrapped around the large evergreen tree. From afar you could see the faintest smile tugging at her lips. 

"Nat?" You said softly, leaning against the doorframe.

She turned her head to face you, her cheeks rosey from the warmth that filled the air, “hey sleepy head” she replied lovingly. “Is everything okay?” You asked, just to be sure. Nat nodded, “I couldn’t sleep…too excited” she admitted, making your heart melt as you walked over and sat down next to her. Almost instantly the redhead rested her head on your shoulder. Heat radiated from the tree as it stood tall and colorful with gifts surrounding the two of you, creating a cozy atmosphere. 

“Did you catch Santa?” You asked with a light chuckle. 

“Very funny” Nat playfully rolled her eyes, “I love Christmas and I just wanted to take it all in before the chaos starts” she added as you wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in closer. “It’s beautiful, just like you” you whispered, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Nat smiled softly, enjoying this soft moment between the two of you. 

“Can I give you your gift now?” Nat asked, looking up at you after a few moments of silence.

“Are you sure? I’m happy to wait until later” you replied but she shook her head, “I want to enjoy it with just us, if that’s okay” she said. You smiled softly at her, “sure”. 

Nat sat up straight before reaching into the pile of gifts under the magical tree and carefully pulling out a wrapped box. She handed it to you with care and anticipation before you unwrapped it. A customized leather journal with your name pressed on the front in your favorite color brings a smile to your lips. 

“I remember you mentioning how you wanted to get back into writing, so I thought I’d get you something special to write all those wonder things you have to say in” Nat said with a proud smile. 

“Natasha, it’s beautiful” you looked up at her, falling in love with her even more. “I love it so much, thank you baby!” You added before gently pulling her in for a deep kiss, “now it’s your turn” you smiled against her lips. 

You searched through the pile of gifts before pulling out the gift with Natasha's name on it and handing it to her. Like a child full of excitement, Natasha ripped into the gift, her eyes softening at the sight of the small canvas art print that stared back at her. 

A portrait of her, Yelena, Melina, Alexei on a Christmas morning in Ohio. 

“I hope it’s okay, I know you had to leave a lot behind back then and I thou-“

“It’s perfect!” Natasha said, tears lightly building up in her green eyes, “it’s exactly how I remember” she added, gently running her hand over the painting, “thank you so much” she whispered before almost jumping onto in a hug. 

“Merry Christmas my love” you replied, wrapping your arms around her. 

As Natasha pulled away from the hug, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, “Merry Christmas detka” she said, her hands finding the canvas once again, grazing the edges. She brushed away the stray tear that fell down her cheek with the back of her hand, before she carefully placed the painting beside her. The world around you faded as she gently pulled you closer again, her lips inches away from yours, it was just the two of you on this early Christmas morning in the perfect moment. 

She kisses you softly, the lights from the tree would never be as bright and warm as your love for one another. She held you tightly, the two of you losing each other to one another as the kiss deepened, forgetting that air existed. 

Natasha pulled away slowly, a smile tugging at her lips, “can we cuddle under the tree until the others wake?” She asked. 

“Of course, my angel” you smiled softly, “let me get us some pillows” you added hating to leave her hold for those short moments. 

Natasha snuggled deeper into your side, her fingers lightly tracing patterns on your forearm while her eyes once again admired the twinkling lights from the evergreen tree. “What’s your favourite thing about Christmas?” She asked ever so softly. 

You took a moment to think, “I think it has always been the little moments the smell of pine, picking out a tree, the way the world lights up and how everybody comes together as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. It’s magical to me” 

“That sounds perfect” Nat whispered, “I love that feeling of anticipation and excitement. Can’t sleep because you’re too excited, everything is just so different this time of year” the innocence in her voice tugging at your heart, “and now I my favourite thing is getting to spend every moment of it all with you”

For a long moment, the two of you just sat in silence, wrapped in each other’s arms, lost in the glow of the holiday lights and the warmth of shared memories. Time slipping by unnoticed until the light footsteps and chatter from the others beginning to wake up and make their way to the living room, the world began to buzz around you both as Natasha smiled softly to herself. “Let the chaos begin” she said softly, not moving a muscle.

Taglist:  @boredandneedfanfics | @music-4ever | @karmasgxrl | @milkeeteaa | @marvelwomen-simp | @swaqcenix | @mostlymarvelsstuff | @scarlettbitchx | @mallyka-blog | @itsalwaysskorpioszn | @angel68104 | @x-natsarrownecklace-x | @caporal-nino | @natashamaximoff-69 | @evilcr0ne | @boredandneedfanfics | @teganmiller | @ihavezeroclue13 | @tobiaslut | @anonwhowrites | @itsmelulu | @koinsss | @cigarsandscotchallday | @nuianced-tck-enby | @springsheep | @prentgarcialuvr | @stayevildarling | @mommysgoodlittlebrat | @marvelnatasha12346 | @mrromanoff | @starryskiesandboys | @ddreader04 | @ahintofchaos | @bleachxbunny | @acciowriting | 

If you want to be on the taglist for my work, please click HERE.

[irisintheafterglow]

he's the death you chose (you're in terrible danger)

summary: married life with husband!gojo means cleaning up bodies at 2am.

wc: 1k

cw/tags: mentions of violence, blood, and deaths (nothing graphic), mild angst/comfort with happy ending, some swearing, yes this is the albatross coded

note: honestly not sure where this came from! was just listening to ttpd and thought about what being married to gojo realistically would be like (aka always being targeted as his weakness that it becomes routine). hope you like it :)

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

Wise men once said, “Don’t sleep with your windows open,” and you should have listened to them. If you had, there wouldn’t be three dead mercenaries in your living room, and another somewhere in your kitchen. There were five, originally, but you figured the last one was being hunted down a hallway as he tried to escape your building. The blood-spotted microwave’s clock reads 2:08 when you glance at it to grab cleaning supplies from the cupboard. 2:10 is when Satoru re-enters the apartment and kicks off his shoes. 

“I called Ijichi; he’s sending over cleaners right now,” he says, carefully stepping around the blood and curse guts splattered on the floorboards. Stray drops of who knows what speckle the photos on the bookshelf and he wipes them with his sleeve, scowling. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner.” 

“Yeah, there’d probably be less of a mess,” you admit, wiping down the kitchen island and guiding the crumbs and dust into the trash. “But they’d still be dead, so I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end.” 

“You handled yourself pretty well for being out of the country for a few months,” he adds appreciatively, retrieving the carpet cleaner from under the sink and sprinkling it onto the living room floor. “I still think it’d be better if you lived on-campus, though.” He squints in the pale moonlight at the pile of abrasive powder and decides to dump a little bit more for good measure. 

“I know–Hey, what’d I tell you about wasting the carpet cleaner? A little goes a long way, remember?” Satoru sets the tube down and puts his hands up in surrender, reaching back and tightening his blindfold before he approaches you in the kitchen. “I can hear your thoughts as they make their way to your mouth, dear.” 

“Look, I know what you’re gonna say–”

“Don’t ask what you’re about to ask, then, if you already know the answer,” you interject with that lightning-quick wit he adored so much. You move to grab the broom from next to the fridge, but he gently catches your wrist and turns you to face him. 

“You’d be safer there,” he continues and you pull your lips into a tight line. 

“Only place I’m safe is wherever I'm with you, realistically.” You had a point. In any other circumstance, the sentiment would be sweet if it wasn’t horribly true. You’d heard time and time again from Satoru how he stared restlessly at the ceiling, anxious about what danger might be coming wherever you were. He theorizes that the higher-ups promoted you to spite him, to have you travel even more often than he was and visit more places across the globe than any seasoned sorcerer would be comfortable with. Phone calls weren’t enough to verify that you were safe; he had to see you, feel you, know you were alive. “This is, what, the second time this month? The first time was when I came back from Paris, right?”

“I don’t think that was this month. It might’ve been the last week of the month prior. Monaco, maybe?”

“Eh, same thing. They always come after me when I get back from Europe. You think they’re trying to catch me off guard or something?”

“I don’t know if we can predict a schedule with these guys, babe,” he grimaces. As much as he liked that you were making light of the situation, the churning in his gut about what could have happened if he didn’t come was too painful to ignore. “Your dad would kill me if he saw how much danger I put you in.” 

“It’s a step up than sneaking me out of the third story of the house, I’ll admit,” you tease. How you could still find humor in times like these, he could never fathom. It’d taken months to convince your father to let Satoru court you, let alone marry you. To your family, he was an impediment, an obstacle, and, unfortunately, the love of your life. “Maybe even as bad as the food poisoning you got from that one place in Sendai.”

“I don’t think ‘in sickness and in health’ is supposed to apply to attempted assassinations. Food poisoning and sprained ankles, sure, but that other one toes the line a little too much.” The frequency of your life in danger was why he wanted you to live full-time on one of the Jujutsu Tech campuses and become a teacher, like him. Sure, a selfish part of him wanted you closer all the time, but he’d pick your safety over your proximity any day. 

“How far are the cleaners?” You yawn, washing your hands at the sink and scanning for everything in your home that needs to be wiped or scrubbed. 

“Ten minutes, tops. I can wait for them if you wanna go back to bed.” He knew you weren’t going to take him up on his offer. You were never able to sleep properly after attempts like this unless he was in the same room. “Though I know you won’t.”

“Isn’t it a little fucked up that we know how the rest of these nights usually go?” You chuckle, a soft, airy sound that takes some of the weight off of Satoru’s chest. You were truly sunlight incarnate and he was the darkest, unseen side of the moon. 

“I’d say this is all my fault, honestly.” You look at him curiously and he shrugs. “I’m the one who made you fall in love with me, after all.” 

“By that logic, I’m also partially to blame,” you point out, flashing him the ring on your left hand. The glow of cursed energy Satoru had embedded into the gemstones glows like Christmas lights in the darkness. The energy was more concentrated than your own body’s natural reserves, allowing him to pinpoint you immediately as long as you were wearing it. Danger and plans A through Z, and everything in between that came with marrying the strongest sorcerer in existence. “I can’t count the number of people who warned me about you.”  

“Why didn’t you listen to them?” 

“Because they’re not you,” you smile. “If you say that you’ll keep me safe, then I trust you to keep your word.” Sunlight incarnate, he thinks again, and God help anyone who tries to block you from him.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[galamalion]

𐕣. 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐙𝐄𝐍 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐒

summary. you attempt to enjoy the peaceful snowfall on your own, but aren't these beautiful moments meant to be shared?

⤷ contents. yandere!chrollo lucilfer x fem!reader, yandere themes, imprisonment, unhealthy relationships // wc. 1.6k

⤷ notes. thank you to @ddarker-dreams who inspired me to write something for chrollo, she's written some deplorable things for this man <3 i'm still only writing for one piece, this is something i just really wanted to write!

Snow had been falling for the last hour, painting the city below in a thin sheet of pure white, only the dark speckles of countless heads walking to-and-fro disturbing the peacefulness below. The windowsills and balcony were also beginning to pick up a layer, growing steadily with each tiny flake that joined the pile. A beautiful sight slowly being constructed, irreplaceable and inimitable by mankind.

But what is a beautiful thing, if not to be held and marveled?

You gazed solemnly out the window, fingers splayed against the chilled glass. A similar feeling no doubt to the snow that was just out of reach. God, how long had it been since you’d touched snow? Felt that freezing, yet warming sensation dance across your nerves, sending confusing signals to your brain.

Three years inside a luxury penthouse gave you time to organize your thoughts more poetically.

Well, to say you’d been here for three years would be inaccurate. Two years and five months inside this home. Chrollo must have been anxious for the first seven months he had you, either keeping you by his side or stashing you in rich hotels, if only for a single night.

Perhaps he had become more comfortable, or maybe he was working on a long job, seeing as you’d been here for so long. The fact that you were unsupervised made you lean towards the former, in addition to his unbeatable strength that made resistance futile. But you knew your limits, and slowly you’d been learning Chrollo’s over the course of these three years. Carefully tip-toeing the line between admonishment and punishment; you’d never get the last word but always make a sharp jab, leaving the oh-so generously gifted—and probably stolen—jewelry and makeup untouched, and, perhaps your favorite, ignoring his first call of your name, but always coming on the second.

Pretending to not have heard Chrollo was your favorite pastime after learning that there was little he could do except implore you to open those poor little ears of yours. And it was a joy asking him to repeat himself, enjoying the twinge of annoyance that you could make out in his voice. 

However, as was normal in your new life, Chrollo had made himself scarce for an extended period of time. It wasn’t strange, in fact it was a much needed relief of his soul-scathing presence. He was most likely on a job, having found some ancient book or enchanting onyx necklace that he just had to have. Or, more accurately, another rotting memoir of a dead pompous poet that you would have to listen to Chrollo gush about, and another piece of jewelry for you to throw in the box and forget.

Maybe he’d get creative and bring you a fun hat this time.

At the end of the day, Chrollo wasn’t here, leaving you alone with your own thoughts. It was refreshing, not being alert at every waking moment, though that freezing fear had most certainly dulled with time. You had time to read, maybe start on a puzzle before you became too tired—coffee had been upgraded to a privilege in the last month, and something that Chrollo was only allowed to make, leaving you to rely on your own body’s performance to remain awake for longer. But puzzles left a sour taste in your mouth ever since Chrollo exchanged your fun scenic sets for Renaissance paintings.

And so you settled on reading, the only other thing to do in this godforsaken prison. Chrollo never liked it when you called it that, reminding you that ‘prisons didn’t have fresh produce or fireplaces.’ But even a golden cage is a cage, something you’d remind him of. He took away the remote after that spat.

You abandoned your window gazing and skipped over to the imposing bookshelf and the expansive collection of tomes that awaited you. Half were unreadable, written in dead languages you couldn’t begin to comprehend. The other half were plain boring, a collection of classics that Chrollo had most likely stolen over the years. But a handful were bearable, or at least interesting enough to keep you reading. You had offhandedly mentioned to Chrollo that you preferred mysteries, and the very next day a complete vintage series of Sherlock Holmes appeared. You tried to hint at adding more diverse genres, but so far there have been no new additions to the bookshelf. 

After peeling the first book from the shelf and giving it a light shake to remove any lingering dust, you fled to the comfort of the window nook. It was a remarkable spot—one you knew Chrollo hated, since he could not sit next to you. You thumbed through the book to the first page, laying eyes upon the old and yellowed paper.

“In the year 1878 I took my degree of Doctor of Medicine of the University of London, and proceeded to Netley to go through the course prescribed for surgeons in the army.”

“Already a far more interesting life,” you muttered, “wish I could be a doctor.”

“Having completed my studies there, I was duly attached to the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers as Assistant Surgeon. The regiment was stationed in India at the time, and before I could join it, the second Afghan war had broken out.”

“Oh, to travel the world. How I envy you, Watson,” you sighed, bleakly turning towards the window.

The snow hadn’t quit, continuing to stain the buildings in white, a gorgeous scene to behold. It was not to be enjoyed for long, however, as you caught a despicable glimpse in the reflection behind you.

Walking ever-so slightly closer was your captor, Chrollo Lucilfer, in the flesh. Although he seemed to immediately realize he’d been spotted, ceasing his silent movement before you swiveled your head around to face him.

“Please, don’t let me interrupt your commentary,” he gave an innocent smile, “it’s always a treat to hear your dulcet voice.”

“I’d rather keep my thoughts to myself, thanks,” you spat, sending a glare his way before turning back to your book.

“If you’d like to travel the world, I could certainly take you,” he continued.”

“I’ll pass, Chrollo.”

“What ever happened to our little nicknames, my dove? I seem to recall you had quite the attachment to calling me Mephistopheles,” he noted, resuming his gait towards you.

You rolled your eyes, “I’ve since concluded you rather enjoy being compared to the devil, whereas I am not your dove, nor any bird you refer to me as.”

“I’m terribly sorry, my dear,” he cooed.

“I am not yours.”

“You seem to have forgotten that I have stolen you, therefore you are mine.”

“Ah!” you cried out, “I believe you’re forgetting the special word for stealing another person. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? It’s called kidnapping.”

Chrollo smirked at your words, now leaning against the wall beside you, staring down at your piece of literature.

“Believe me, treasure, I am well aware of the crimes I commit.”

“Feel free to list them,” you turned the page of your book, “I assure you, I’m listening.”

He easily plucked the book from your hand.

“Company is meant to be enjoyed, not tolerated,” he teased, returning it back to its place on the shelf. “Besides, the snow outside is stunning, is it not?”

“Of course,” you sneered. “Here, let me put on my cap and scarf, and then we can go frolic in this wonderful weather!”

“Now, now, there’s no need to get smart with me.”

“I wouldn’t dare dream of it.”

Chrollo went quiet and gave you a look, a sign for you to shut your mouth before you ruined tonight.

“I am more than willing to put on a movie tonight, given that your attitude improves,” he spoke softly, moving back towards you.

There was hidden, unspoken meaning behind his words, something you’d grown to adjust to with your snarky attitude. Behave, or you get nothing.

“...What movie do you have in mind?” you responded, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to cool your soured mood.

“I’ll give you the choice, but I’m feeling partial to a select couple. Perhaps Romeo and Juliett? Or Pride and Prejudice?”

Someone’s in a mood tonight, you thought, folding your arms.

“Pride and Prejudice is fine,” you concluded, not wanting to hear Chrollo wax on about what Shakespeare meant or didn’t mean.

“Wonderful,” he smiled, walking over to the kitchen. “Now, would you like a cup of hot chocolate, my dear? I believe it would be fantastic on such a cold day.”

“That would be nice, thank you,” you answered as politely as you could manage, well aware that a simple ‘sure’ would not be enough to earn you any specialties.

You stood from your window alcove and walked quietly towards the bedroom, attempting to do so casually and without drawing his attention.

But it was impossible to slip anything past Chrollo Lucilfer.

“Dear,” he called out, still focused on his work at the counter.

You wordlessly turned around, staring emptily at the back of his head.

“There should be a dress, a black one, on the far right of your wardrobe,” he instructed, “be a doll and put it on.”

“...Alright.”

A black dress, probably too short to be comfortable in either direction. Chrollo’s favorite pastime, of course, was getting a glimpse of the body you’d refuse to show. But this was Chrollo’s night, not your own. Never your own.

So you’ll put the dress on, just like you’ll watch the movie that Chrollo wanted, right next to him—too close to him—on the sofa. And who knows, maybe you’ll do a puzzle with him at the end of the night.

But wasn't the snow just stunning?

[thatonedogart]

Did someone say Mouthwashing AU??? NO??? WELL THATS TOO BAD!! [open full screen for high res]

Welcome to my version of Mouthwashing, where we find out what happens if curly didn’t burn to near completion and instead suffered from a minor (major) breakage of his mental well being while still being par cooked like a fillet

ITS CABIN FEVER BABY!

Watch out Jimmy, those responsibility are gonna start piling up.

Now please enjoy some in AU cannon writing Drabble from the wonderful nurse Anya

Curly

“I can’t feel it anymore, I can only feel you, rotting in the back of my mind.”

Captain Curly, one seriously stubborn patient. Between ripping off his bandages and being insistent on disobeying bed rest orders he makes for an exhausting handful. That’s not even mentioning the side effects from the oxycodone.

-took away his boots, not only were they burned but he’d most likely break an ankle

-not that he’s said much but the current change in appearance is upsetting him

-don’t mention the small bald spot and grey hairs growing in from the explosion

-he barely makes sense, waking in stints of 2-3 hour intervals

Jimmy

“He’s clearly lost his mind. Don’t listen to him.”

Current head captain of the ship, Jimmy, doesn’t allow anyone to check him over since the crash. With curly waking up he’s only become more irritated, keeps suggesting curly needs more medication. Maybe it’s stressing him out to see his ex captain and friend in such a state of harm?

-still wears clothes from day of the crash despite barely washing the blood out

-stated multiple times curly had lost his mind and tried to attack him

-frankly I don’t want him in this office, even if he was hurt

-curly doesn’t tolerate his presence anymore

[no longer allowed to give the patient his meds or provide assistance]

Daisuke

“Everything’s fine. Right? Right. Everything is fine.”

Jittery anxious intern, very welcoming to any and all needed checkups. It’s clear he’s suffering from some developed anxiety disorder, the stress of the situation is becoming to dire. Aside from spraining an ankle on the day of the crash he’s been in perfect physical health.

-rarely seen above deck since Curly started waking up

-now hoarding most of the small adhesive bandages as he’s been biting his nails

-still up for small chat but something is definitely keeping him wired

-“the hello kitty ones are the best” said the bandage thief

Swansea

“I’ve seen too much bad shit happen in long hauls before, leave me out of this.”

Our master mechanic Swansea, has had zero things to report to medical. Always clear and straight to the point he wants to be left out of the fuss. Especially with the current conflict between our captains.

I wonder what his family thinks of him.

-conversations are rare

-most of his time is preoccupied with the master controls in the cockpit and Daisuke

-had a momentary relapse with alcohol before curly started waking up

-our weakest moments are not our proudest but it doesn’t change who we are

Anya

“When you wake up from a bad dream, the dream is supposed to end.”

Nurse Anya, nothing to report. Taking care of curly has been my top priority, fatigued and strained I may be but I swore I would help people.

-nauseous, no medication on board to help

-exhausted, curly keeps me up even if I manage to fall asleep

-could really use a hot shower

-it feels ridiculous making notes on my own self.

[sxorpiomooon]

How will the month of may go for you? Pick a card reading

- paid readings

- masterlist

- buy me a dessert!!

what you basically have to do is choose any one picture out of the three given below, the one that you feel drawn to the most!

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

Pile 1-

I see you moving ahead leaving things that no longer serve you behind. I had a vision of a man moving a boat ahead which seems hard looking at the water and it feels tough to move the boat ahead but he's not budging. I see you leaving things behind I heard "you lose 100% of the shots that you don't take" you will be following your heart against everything I also heard "poetic" for some reason? I also see a balance it's like to achieve and do what you want to do or what your heart desires you will also be using your head to be practical which will end up as a victory for you. This month for you will be following your heart while being level headed and achieving your victory!!!

Pile 2-

I see some sort of confusion and fear there's a sense of anxiety here. someone is anxious because they feel like they are being misjudged. I see some problems arising due to fear and some secrets being spilled but you will be able to make everything better by using your mind. I see you guys being very good with words this month lmao which will work out in your favour. Tho, i do see some sort of group conflict or some teamwork situation going wrong. You might have a hard time working in a group. All the best pile 2 my best wishes for yall<3

Pile 3-

I see problems arising with authority I see you being extremely distressed bc of a structure. You might feel very depressed or caged or stuck in an organisation. I see you being extremely exhausted and disappointed due to which you might end up acting in impulse and then becoming extremely defensive in order to protect yourself from this institution. What i would recommend you guys is that you don't have to be in a place where you don't feel appreciated and if something is causing you more pain than happiness you are meant to let it go however, you cannot do it in every situation no matter how much you want to so don't take any decisions if not necessary and if it's getting too much leave before you end up lashing out because that will be good for no one. Best of luck my pile 3<333

Thankyou so so much, i hope this resonates and helps you guys in some way!!

[devildomwriter]

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow | Leviathan x Reader

.7k+ words | GN! Reader | CW: None

Leviathan stared out the window of the living room as you tapped your foot behind him anxiously. You watched the snow pile up as even more flew down with furious winds.

Leviathan wasn’t complaining. You were supposed to go to a party and he very much did not want to. You didn’t even know this demon well, you’d met him through Asmodeus who suggested he might form a pact with you. That was another thing Leviathan didn’t like, the idea of another demon having such a strong bond with you. Needless to say, he was jealous of a hypothetical situation and the blizzard outside was lifting his spirits.

You sighed and contemplated teleporting. Levi knew you had an idea as he saw the spark in your eyes.

“What are you thinking?” He asked cautiously, hoping it wasn’t a solution to the blizzard.

“We could always teleport,” you suggested and he cringed.

You saw his uncomfortable expression and patted his shoulder which made him jump a little.

“Huh? What was that for?” He asked, surprised.

“I know you don’t want to go to the party, thanks for getting ready and being on time for me.” You thanked and he blushed, unprepared for such a heartfelt thanks.

“Y-yeah, of course…” he trailed off and you tilted your head.

“But?” You asked, poking his arm, hoping he’d open up.

“This-this Lucifugus, or whatever. You’re really going out of your way for him, you’re even going to a normie event! J-just to make him happy?! And you even want a pact! A pact! That’s our thing!” He stuttered loudly and frantically.

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes as you knew this was a big deal to a chronic over-thinker like Levi.

“Levi. A pact doesn’t mean a bond. What you and I have is a bond. And our bond can’t be replicated by a demon I hardly know.”

Levi turned red and nodded in understanding but it didn’t quell his worries, “yeah but. You are gonna know him more now…wh-what if—“

“What if I fall for him?” You jumped to the worst-case scenario in Levi’s head and he shrunk in on himself unable to say anything in response.

You shook your head and crouched down to Levi’s level who’d become an anxious puddle on the floor.

“Okay, Levi. Get up. We’re going to your room.”

“Huh-wha!?”

“I’m not going to the party if it’s gonna make you so anxious.”

Levi was both overjoyed but simultaneously felt guilt building within and he got to his feet and shook his head.

“N-No! I’m not gonna ruin this for you! I’ll even go to a normie party if it makes you happy! Just wait and see.”

You smiled and nodded, “I know. So now let me make you happy. It’s way too cold outside to go anywhere.”

Levi’s heart raced excitedly at the idea of getting to go back to relaxing in his room and not needing to worry about you partying with demons like Asmodeus.

“S-so about falling in love…” Leviathan brought back up the issue as soon as he took off his boots.

“That’s impossible,” you stated clearly and his heart leaped for joy.

“Right. Because you aren’t a normie!” He declared and you laughed and shook your head.

“No it’s because I’m already in love with a silly otaku,” you clarified and he froze in place. As still as a statue he struggled to compute your affectionate words. You two were basically already a couple but words of affirmation made him unbelievably weak to the point he was more or less in a state of shock.

“Oh boy,” you mumbled realizing he’d be stuck this way for a while. You laughed to yourself and stood by the window again as Levi malfunctioned behind you.

You looked at the snow falling and without the anxiety of a party weighing on your mind, it seemed much more gentle and relaxing than it was fierce and isolating.

Leviathan struggled to compose himself, all the while thinking he wished it would snow forever because it allowed him more time with you, all to himself. The idea made him do cartwheels in his mind and he silently thanked the blizzard as he was finally able to get back up and shuffle over to you.

You were surprised as you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. You felt the warm breath of Levi against the skin of your neck and you smiled and relaxed into his embrace. You too began to wish the snow would never end, so moments like this would last forever.

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 10

Mastering Your Emotions

How did yesterday’s relationship audit go? I know it can feel heavy to reflect on how the people in your life impact you, but it’s such an important step in becoming your best self. Today, we’re shifting focus from the external to the internal, mastering your emotional responses. Because let’s face it, life loves to throw curveballs, and we need to be ready to handle them without losing our balance.

You know those days when everything feels like too much? Maybe you had an argument with someone you love, or work piled up, or you’re just feeling off. Instead of spiraling (been there, done that), what if you had tools to steady yourself? That’s what emotional regulation is all about, it’s like having an umbrella when it starts pouring.

One thing that really helps me is simply naming what I’m feeling. When emotions are running high, it’s easy to let them take over, but pausing and saying, “Okay, I’m feeling anxious,” or “I’m frustrated,” instantly takes away some of their power. When you can put a name to it, the emotion feels more manageable. It’s like making the scary, unknown thing a little more familiar.

And if that’s not enough to shift your focus, grounding yourself can make a huge difference. You don’t need to meditate for 30 minutes to feel calm. You can try something like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Look around and notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It helps pull you out of your head and back into the present, where things are less overwhelming.

Sometimes, resilience is about taking small, actionable steps when you’re feeling overwhelmed. I know it’s easy to look at a to-do list and feel paralyzed by the sheer amount of things to tackle. But instead of trying to do it all at once, pick just one thing. Maybe it’s answering a single email, making a phone call, or tidying up your workspace for five minutes. It sounds small, but breaking things down like this lets you move forward without getting caught up in the big picture.

And boundaries, let’s talk about those. It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to please everyone else, but emotional resilience often means knowing when to protect your time and energy. It might look like turning off your phone for a bit, setting clear limits on work hours, or simply saying no when you need to. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to do this all alone. Resilience isn’t about being invincible; it’s about knowing when to lean on others. It’s okay to share how you’re feeling with someone you trust. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a therapist, reaching out can make all the difference. Sometimes, just hearing someone say, “I get it,” can take a huge weight off your shoulders.

So today, I want you to think about one small thing you can do to strengthen your emotional resilience. Maybe it’s naming how you feel, trying a quick grounding exercise, or simply taking a break when you need it. Whatever it is, take that step. And remember, I’m right here with you, cheering you on.

See you tomorrow for Day 11, where we'll explore another step in becoming our best selves.

♡ ☆:.�� Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.｡ With love, Goddess Inner Glow.

[yawneneteyam]

ALL THINGS CONNECTED | j. flatters chapter one — what's the dream?

summary: growing up on the set of avatar: the way of water was a dream. your friends had become your family, all except for one. jamie was the one person you always found yourself drawn to, in ways more complex than the title of 'best friends' [1.7k].

pairing: fem!reader x jamie flatters

notes: based on jamie flatters documentary: all things connected. co-stars/friends to lovers. inspired by @cacapeepee. minor mentions of anxiety, foetus jamie.

masterlist ⎸ chapter two

2016.

THEY MUST HAVE LIKED you right? otherwise you wouldn't be back here again, for a chemistry test no other. yeah.. if they didn't like your audition, you wouldn't be sitting here again. yeah, that was it.

the air had gotten stale while you sat in the green room of some office building, on a floor number way too high with windows bigger than they needed to be.

it was your third time being here. your initial reading, the callback and now a chemistry test.

your agent hadn't given you much more information other than that. you knew you would be meeting the boy that could be playing your love interest, and that was intimidating to any fifteen year old. this was the first time you had ever been called in for a chemistry test for any project, you knew it was because it was a huge franchise, but it didn't make it any less daunting; if anything, it only made you feel worse.

you knew you couldn't sit there alone for too much longer before your anxious thoughts consumed you. everything was feeling wrong, your hair too tight and the plastic chair too uncomfortable. it was just nerves, but they had you on the cusp of trembling in your seat. the feeling of waiting was becoming overwhelming and if you weren't out of this room, you were sure you would-

"y/n l/n?" oh thank god.

you stood up quicker than you wanted to, almost tripping yourself in the process. with a mumbled 'hi', you were told to come into the audition room. when the casting assistant turned away you had to restrain yourself from screaming at yourself. what a fucking day.

you tried to brush it off and take a deep breath before you actually entered the room, your heartbeat was still beating at the same quickens pace regardless.

"hi y/n" your eyes scanned the panel before landing on the man who was speaking to you. james cameron sat at a small table across from where you were standing on your mark, with four other people, all casting directors and assistants.

"hi," faking your confidence was better than showing you didn't have any, "nice to meet you all," you tried to ignore the fact that the man who was responsible for making 'titanic' was a few metres away from you, but it was getting increasingly hard when he was watching your every move.

he hadn't been at your other auditions. trying to take this as another good sign, you swallowed the nerves bubbling in your chest.

"alright," another woman spoke up, "we're just gonna run through your sides from your last audition, and then we'll get started with the chemistry read. sound good?"

you nodded without speaking, silently thanking your agent for telling you to go over your old lines from your first two auditions. she always was right, you just would never tell her.

"okay," james quickly pulled a few pieces of paper from the pile in front of him before looking back up at you, "whenever you're ready,"

you took a few seconds, looking at the ground before starting your scene.

"where are you going?" i asked panicked, my breaths heavy.

one of the casting assistants read the lines in reply, not giving you anything to work with. "no where you need to worry about". the point of reading sides is to see how you work with a monotone scene-partner. they want to see what you can give on your own.

"I know you're going to see them," you reach your arm out, "norm," grabbing nothing and stopping in your tracks. "I know you're going to see jake" you whisper.

"sai'ak I can't talk-"

"take me" you plead.

"you know that-"

"norm, please" you move your arm, showing norm has shrugged off your hold, "please, I need to see him". Moving and using the space around you, you were there, in pandora, with norm.. not in some room with james cameron.

"your parents will never allow it"

"they don't need to know," the urgency in your voice was cut-throat, pained.

"I am not taking you away from your clan, you are the next tsahik." you close your eyes at their words, "I'm not going to be the one held accountable for taking you away from your clan, even for a little while"

"norm, I want to go," you start to feel your throat closing up as tears well in your eyes, "max, please" you whisper.

"I'm sorry kid, but you can't come" you let go of the breath you were holding on to, envisioning them walking away from you.

You hesitate to respond, looking around the room in panic. the reality that you might not get to go with them settling in. "he is all I have," you cry, the first tear fell, then another, and another. "please" you swallow the lump in my throat, "please take me with you".

"alright, thank you" the voice of the casting assistant brings you back and out of the scene. you quickly wipe your tears and make your way back to the mark on the ground.

"now," james looks around the table bringing another piece of paper from his pile, "let's start on the chemistry read.. jamie?"

you had failed to notice the entire time that there was a boy sitting in the corner of the room, a script in his hand. he looked around your age, quite tall and well built. his hair was brown and from far away you could see the blue in his eyes. "jamie is playing neteyam" james told you as you watched him walk over to you.

"nice to meet you," he stuck out his hand for you to shake.. he was british.

"you too," you were too concerned with how the panel thought your scene went to give him a full smile. jamie could tell that you were nervous, he felt your hand shaking slightly when yours met his.

"you alright? he asked quietly as he turned onto his mark.

you hesitated before nodding quickly, "yeah," you whispered, "just freaking out,"

"you'll be right," jamie reassured you softly with the nod of his head, "your last scene was great, you'll smash this."

you felt your chest become a little less tight with his words, "thanks."

"okay, so this scene is very vulnerable for these two. it's set in the start of the film where we really get to see a more child-like side to these two characters, who always have to be the strong, mature ones" james spoke. "it's one of my favourite's honestly," he confessed, "so, we'll go from the top- try and make it feel as natural as possible" he explained to you. nodding in response, you checked your mark before smiling up at jamie.

"whenever you're ready"

"skxawng," you spat at jamie, pulling him closer by his ear. jamie worked with you well, moving his head so you didn't have to actually pull him toward you. he hissed in response.

"that hurts," he winced. jamie hadn't adopted a na'vi accent like you had chosen too. you felt a little insecure about your attempt now that you knew he wasn't doing the same.

"good," you didn't change it though, you kept going with what you thought was right for sai'ak. "that is point," I crossed my arms, backing away from jamie. "what do you think you were doing, huh? you are a spotter neteyam, you don't belong on the ground."

"I know!" he stressed, "but I wasn't going to let un'su go down there alone, you know how he is"

"you cannot keep following your brother into danger," you shook your head, "we're kids! you know that right? we are not warriors, we are children"

Jamie's expression softened, "sai'ak," he sighed reaching out for you.

"no," you shrug him off, "I am tired," you admitted. "I know you have responsibilities, neteyam" you met his eyes, "but, we are just kids. you are not the leader of this clan yet, you do not need to act like it all of the time, yes?"

Jamie's eyes met the floor for a while before meeting yours again. "yes," he nodded, "I am sorry,"

"you do not need to apologise to me," you take a step closer to jamie. before you had the chance to think about it too much, you sigh and rest a hand on Jamie's cheek. he shakes his head whilst looking at the ground, leaning into your touch slightly. "you do not need to a mighty warrior all the time.. you know that?" before jamie could say his line, you cut him off with one that felt right, "you can just be neteyam." you smile at him softly.

jamie exhales through his nose as a laugh, "not everyone sees it that way". you were both completely off script now, but it felt natural, so you kept going.

"I see it that way," you tilted your head with a watery smile, tears glazing over your eyes. "I see.. who are you are, neteyam" jamie looks at you like he knew what you were going to say to him, he takes this and runs with it.

he hesitates before speaking, "I see you, sai'ak."

I laugh softly, taking your hands away from his face. "you must have hit your head very hard," you go back to a line from later on in the script.

"yes," jamie chuckles, "but I know what I am saying,"

you stop in your tracks, jamie towering over you. you look up at him and he holds your gaze. "I see you, ma' neteyam" I whisper. jamie smiles, resting his forehead against yours. you close your eyes, allowing your characters to drink in their moment together.

"alright, thanks guys," you and jamie quickly broke apart from each other, claiming your own space once again. "really good," one of the casting directors nodded, "y/n, thanks so much for coming in. we'll be in touch with you over the next week or so regarding the part," you nodded with a smile.

"thanks so much," you exhaled a big breath, feeling a weight fall from your shoulders now that you had finished. "nice to meet you all," you looked from the panel to jamie, who was smiling at you. he nodded and let out a small 'you too' before you left the room.

"she was good," James kept his eyes on the door, where you had just closed it.

"yeah, I liked that one" one of the women on the panel agreed.

"how did that feel jamie?" James asked him, looking up at the young boy.

"good," he nodded, "really good. she was great"

taglist. @littlexscarletxwitch, @thexplosivegirl, @lagoonabluebabe, @rexorangecouny, @ilovejakesullysdick @rhiannonhippiegirl @leelumenaura @playboykenz @couragemydearheart @graysonshaven @m-1234 @coconut-dreamz 

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Strawberry Moon in Capricorn ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Heey, has the Full Strawberry Moon caused you some level of fatigue? At least physically rather than mentally? It was in the sign of Capricorn last June 23. This FM brought a shake-up to the foundation of our routines and a sense of belonging. I hope you’ve been feeling more secure in terms of your job and finances, or at least in the way you get to schedule your work.

There’s this little thing that I’ve been saying to myself ever since the arrival of this FM: ‘I’ve decided now that I am stable and secure. I’m not anxious anymore. There’s nothing to worry about.’ I’ve been saying that for my finances, yes, but especially, about my place in the world. I’ve become even more certain that what I’m doing is contributing positively to the world around me, and I’m very happy about that :D

This Full Moon, the aenergy is all about dreams and manifestations of a stable, secure Life going forward as Workers of Light. Personally, I don’t know what’s going on with people who are not of the Light LOL I guess all the foundation of their Reality is simply crumbling because they haven’t worked on their traumas? *cough, Hollyweird, cough cough*

Anyway, this FM also brought in a huge-ass cosmic broom to sweep up even more karmic debris from your energetic field (even bloodline). Releasing yourself from the shackles of guilt and unworthiness so you can grow tall and reach the heights of the heavens. All that, so you can now focus on your legacy project—something important, and unique, which you’ve known for quite a while only you can do.

This Full Strawberry Moon in Capricorn is the time all these wishes and endeavours are blessed by the Light forces of the Universe. Workers of Light, this year is YOUR year! Stomp forward bravely!

IDEA: High Paying, Low Stress Feminine Careers by Beauty & Beyond

deck-bottom: XVII The Star Rx, Gold Astronomer (John Dee), Priestess of Strength

[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – It’s Time to Nourish Your Body

security – 2 of Cups Rx

Oh, this is interesting. You know that 2 of Cups is a soulmate card, right? But here in reverse I’m getting that up until fairly recently you’ve given so much of yourself to the wrong soulmates. It could be that there was something in the air that convinced you that you’d met your tribe, friend group, or even the one and true significant other, but then the Universe did something and the truth was unveiled, and it was painful.

The, uh, disclosure, took quite a toll on your physical body, probably due to the shock or trauma. This could’ve eaten away at your self-worth, too, to some degree. You might’ve dealt with an affliction of an impostor syndrome after the incident. Emotionally, it was really hard. But now, the Full Strawberry Moon has swept away a huge chunk of that trauma and now you’re good LOL

Basically, you’re being assured by your Spirit Guides that everything is only getting better from here <3

stability – 10 of Wands

If you resonate with having been in isolation for quite a while, this is your confirmation that you’ve chosen well. I mean, I guess your Spirit Guides ushered you into isolation LOL But this isolation period is your recovery phase from all the lessons you’ve taken from the previous chapter of your Life. Your Spirit Guides are saying the past was not a mistake. You needed to experience those things to help you develop a stronger intuition.

It's part of your Life Scenario to meet many, indeed, Souls that you’d known in different incarnations, but they’re not necessarily your long-term Soul Tribe. It was more like meeting old friends, neighbours or students you’d interacted with in the past and now they’re just passing by to say hi or help you with a light task. They were never meant to stay for long. Because, your True Soul Family is elsewhere.

Know that. Feel that with your intuition. Accept their call. And have fun making your way to them, or inviting them to your space :D

worry-free – 6 of Wands

For some of you tuning into this Pile, you may have been in this isolation mode for a very long time. Your Spirit Guides are saying your time in hiding is almost over. Soon, you’re gonna be connecting with people again and be seen for all the wonderful work you’re able to produce now, and everybody around you is so gonna appreciate and admire you for all that you are. They’ll think you’re super wonderful and they’re gonna wanna hang out with you and all that stuff :D

Are you still afraid of some kind of a betrayal or abandonment from these connections? No, it doesn’t seem like that at all. Why? Because you’ve transcended above your self-worth issues; because now there’s something that you’re doing that you feel very proud of, at least confident about. You know your worth now, so you’re just naturally magnetising people who will also view you the same.

Take care of your body though. Don’t work too hard. Your body still needs to get used to a healthy routine so it gets stronger. A strong body supports a more stable emotional plane <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Enjoying Unwinding for a Moment

security – 7 of Wands Rx

Seems like you’ve been huuuuuustling for the longest time. This FM in Capricorn is saying you’ve done marvellously well, so please take a break now! XD It’s more like, gosh, you haven’t taken the time to smell the panna cotta at all. Chill out, bro. You’re gonna work yourself to death before you even get to enjoy any bit of your labour of love. If it’s not possible to take a break, at least delegate. You really don’t have to do it all alone~

There’s a bit of a message about learning to trust other people. In essence, also learning to trust the Universe. Trust that things won’t suddenly spin out of control just because you’re snoring one minute. You’re working on something important that can benefit other people as well, right? Even if ‘other people’ literally means only yourself at this moment, and your family in the future.

Trust that the work—or the intent to change jobs—you’re doing now is in alignment with your Highest Intended Good. And in that sense, everything is perfect. You can relax~

stability – 10 of Cups Rx

Other than the scenario involving work, it seems a bunch of you have simply been dealing with a sense of ‘burden’ that goes beyond just day-to-day work. I feel like there’s been so much dark clouds in your mind, covering all your senses and your perception of Reality. These dark clouds are just worries, anxieties, and a fear of rejection or shame from the people closest to you.

It feels like there’s an endeavour you know you must take, a decision you know you must make, but you’ve been so stressed out about how to balance what you want with what’s expected of you. This FM in Capricorn seems to have lifted a huge chunk of those gloomy clouds tho, and I’m seeing you’re more able to distance yourself from the opinions and influences of those who might disagree with you.

This time around, this year in fact, you’re prioritising yourself. There’s something very important that you must undertake, but first, peace of mind first.

worry-free – 6 of Cups Rx

It does seem that the majority of your concerns come from ‘people’ rather ‘situations’. Your interpersonal relationships were simply weighing you down because you feel so much empathy and gratitude towards the people whom, I get are meant to be left in the past. These are people in your early chapters of Life; they’re likely not gonna make an appearance in the next arc, babe.

So you’re being advised to let go with grace and gratitude. I feel like you’re this dragon who’s meant for something mega-important and mega-luxury but the people around you couldn’t understand that. Well, that’s OK. That doesn’t make them ‘bad’, right? You just aren’t each other’s people, apparently. Your people, in fact, are those who are just as weird as you.

As you move forward, you’re going to meet more of these people who will even help you in building your empire. For now though, just enjoy unwinding those stressful threads of expectations in your mind~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – This is Literally Where It All Starts

security – Page of Pentacles Rx

You’ve dedicated a huge chunk of your Life to studying. Most people won’t even be able to grasp just how much ‘a huge chunk of your Life’ is in this scenario. It almost feels like practically your entire Life, you’ve just been studying. A whooole Life of nothing but hard lessons from the Universe. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You may have felt like giving up numerous times, too.

But it all ends by this FM in Capricorn. You’ve finished studying. You’ve graduated, or soon graduating. For the most part, the majority of you have closed that chapter of studying, learning and experimenting (with prototypes). From here onwards, it’s full-on Creation with active R&D on the side. You’re being propelled into your Highest Intended Mission.

Of course, vacation, first, baby~ Relax and celebrate your graduation. You deserve to take it easy now that you’re in preparatory mode.

stability – 2 of Airships Rx

I see that whatever you’ve felt was restricted before, whether money or time or a general sense of ‘freedom’ to do what you want when you want, is being lifted and suddenly there’s just this almost magical burst of material blessings that enable you to just…have a good time! Like, before, it was as if either you turn on the electricity or go without food for a day (hi, Australia). There was just SO much compromise to make. Not anymore! This FM in Capricorn is bringing in a lot of ease and material abundance!

Well, this Strawberry Moon is all about manifestation and fruitfulness, yes, but it’s also the way Saturn (ruler of Cap) seems to be easing in on the restrictions put around your physical manifestations. And it’s mainly thanks to your finally returning to the core of who you are. If this is your main pile, chances are, you’ve figured out your spiritual work in this world.

Basically, the lessons of Saturn revolve around that theme. Finding your footing in this world so your physical manifestations are always going to be in the service of your Highest Intended Good :D

worry-free – Knight of Wands Rx

I get this feeling that up until recently, you’ve been sort of torn between doing what’s responsible/practical and following this calling in your heart. Being pulled in more than one direction has caused you a great deal of mental turbulence. It wasn’t because you were choosing or managing poorly, no, not at all; it was because you were meant to follow both LOL

But yeah, I get that the whole learning phase was more like a tempering of your passions. Basically, the Universe was teaching you trust and faith in its grand orchestration. There this quote that fits perfectly for you right now:

‘You ever just like… Trust the Universe so much that you don’t give a fuck?’

For most of you tuning in here, I feel like you’ve kinda just stopped giving a fuck about whether or not you’re gonna make it or fail hahahah

And that’s the whole point, right? Doesn’t matter what happens, the Universe has big plans for you, so you’re surely gonna end up alright, and even thriving! Since you already know the outcome anyway, might as well relax and take it easy from like right now~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]

[stayteezdreams]

Snowed In

Plot: You and Seungcheol head to a cabin in the woods to prepare for a winter get away with the others. But plans change when a storm hits and the two of you get snowed in together.

Pairing: S.Coups | Seungcheol x Gn!Reader

Warnings: Mildly suggestive content (kissing)

Words: ~2.3k

Worry sat heavy in your chest as you stared out at the heavy snowstorm outside of your cabin. Seungcheol chatted nervously in the background with the owner of the cabin you were renting. From their conversation you knew there was a chance the power could shut off at any moment. You hoped you would have the heat running long enough to warm the large house before that happened.

You and Seungcheol made the decision to come to the cabin a day before the others so you could get everything ready for your winter vacation. You arrived late in the day due to traffic delays, and now the sun had set and the storm was getting stronger each moment. Now, you feared the trip might not happen at all.

You had texted the others, telling them to stay put until you knew how the weather would play out. The storm could last the night and be over by the morning, or you could be stuck the whole weekend, just the two of you. You felt anxious butterflies fill your stomach at the thought.

Seungcheol groaned as he hung up the phone. "This place apparently doesn't have a backup generator so lets get some stuff ready in case the power does go out."

You nodded as you ran to unpack and fetch any light sources and blankets you could find. Eyeing the small stack of wood by the fireplace you bit your lip.

"I hope that's enough wood."

Seungcheol looked over as he heard you, his own chest tightening with worry as he saw how small the pile of wood was. He knew with how bad the snow outside was, there was no way to make it to the storage shed to get more.

"We'll be alright." He said encouragingly, and you smiled at him in response with a nod, hoping he was right.

After you brought out some candles and flashlights, as well as locating all of the blankets in case you would need them, you made your way to your room to unpack your things.

Now alone in your own room, your thoughts began to wander. Not too far, but instead to the man you heard rummaging a few rooms away.

It wasn't a secret that you had feelings for Seungcheol. Not to you, not to the others, and not even to Seungcheol himself. You also knew he had feelings for you. But it was an unspoken agreement that nothing would happen.

It was never discussed, but you two knew each other well enough to know you were both afraid it wouldn't end well. Not to mention the fear of it accidentally becoming public. There was too much to worry about for you to really commit to a relationship, so one never formed.

Sometimes you regretted it, well, a lot of times you regretted it. And honestly, if he made a move, or confessed you wouldn't run from it. You'd be more than happy to be with him, but you had decided to never make the first move. There would be more risk for him in the relationship, so you left the final decision to him, as much as it hurt sometimes.

Your body froze as the lights flickered. You eyed them suspiciously as the wind outside blew harder, almost shaking the window panes.

"Uh-oh." You muttered to yourself, your heart dropping as the lights shut off, leaving you in pitch darkness.

Feeling around blindly for your phone, you had the sudden realization that you left it downstairs in the kitchen.

"Damn!" You cursed as you made your way slowly to the door.

"Seungcheol?" You called out, but heard nothing in response, sending an uneasy chill down your spine. "Where did you go?" You muttered as you stepped out into the hall.

As you collided with something you yelped out, as you felt an arm wrap around your waist to steady you.

Seungcheol's voice instantly soothed your alarm as he chuckled "Its just me!"

"God, Seungcheol! Why didn't you respond when I called out to you!"

"Sorry, I was trying to get my phone from my pocket."

"I left mine downstairs."

He chuckled softly under his breath as you suddenly saw his face light up in front of you as he turned on his phone screen.

Your breath caught as you realized just how close he was. Your hand was flat on his chest from when you collided. His eye caught yours and you saw a smirk playing at his lips, causing you to remove your hand and step away as his hand fell away from your waist.

His hand took hold of yours as he turned towards the staircase with a smile, "Let's go downstairs."

You followed him closely, stepping just behind him as you stayed in the light of his phone.

Once you retrieved your own phone, the two of you gathered in the living room, a faint white glow filled the room as the bright snow from outside reflected eerily into the cabin.

You could hear the faint padding of snow hitting the window among the howling wind as the storm raged on outside. Sitting on the couch, you leaned against the back as you looked out the window, seeing nothing but the violent swirls of white.

"It didn't get too warm in here but at least it's not freezing." He muttered as he turned on a few small lantern lights. After he lit a few candles he settled beside you.

You nodded as you hoped the temperature wouldn't drop too quickly. Putting your chin on the back of the couch, you stared out into the snow, unaware of Seungcheol's gaze as he studied you.

The dim light from the room lit up your face enough for him to see you clearly. He rested his head on his arm as he watched you watch the storm. He was filled with nervous excitement the whole way to the cabin. A feeling he was used to when he was around you.

Now, as you were snowed-in together, just the two of you, these feelings heightened. He could sense the tension of unspoken feelings between you, and the urge to act on said feelings grew stronger each moment.

He felt his heart jolt when you suddenly looked over at him, and smiled when your eyes met.

"I'm hungry."

He chuckled at the sudden profession, "Well we've got plenty of snacks. And if we make a fire we can heat the water for some noodles."

You hummed, "Snacks first, noodles later, I don't want to to use up all the wood." He nodded in agreement as he made his way to the kitchen to grab the snacks the two of you had brought.

As time passed slowly, the temperature in the cabin dropped, leaving you two no choice but to start a fire. You sat on some blankets close to the fireplace, as you set up the kettle. The warm glow and crackling wood, cast a comforting atmosphere around the cabin, and you momentarily forgot about the harsh storm outside.

"This is kind of fun." You admitted as you prepped some hot chocolate.

Seungcheol grinned as he prepped the noodles, "It is isn't it?"

You giggled softly and Seungcheol felt his chest clench. The longer the two of you were here together the harder it was for him to hold back. He knew he was tired of resisting his feelings, and avoiding a relationship, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up.

Earlier when you had run into him in the darkness, he didn't want to let you go, and now he wanted to hold you close and keep you warm. But would that be too much too soon?

Your heart rate began to rise as Seungcheol scooted closer to you, his knee pressing against yours. You distracted yourself by making two cups of hot chocolate, as you tried not to focus on his gaze as he watched you.

Handing him his cup, you noticed how he took the cup from you, his own hands caressing yours almost purposefully. The two of you sipped on your drinks in silence, before a sudden chill crawled over you.

Seungcheol didn't miss the shiver that ran through you, and immediately scooted closer, his shoulder now against yours. Taking the blanket he had draped over himself, he draped part of it across your back so you were both wrapped in it.

Your eyes shot over to him at his actions and he smiled almost teasingly, "I don't want you to get cold."

"I can just get another blanket." You mumbled out of nervousness as you gestured at the pile of blankets behind you.

Seungcheol glanced at them before he met your eyes again, "But I like this more."

He didn't miss the slight widening of your eyes as he said this and he smiled, his eyes glancing to your lips almost instinctively.

Looking back to the fire he cleared his throat. "I'm kind of glad this happened."

"You are?"

He nodded his head, "I miss spending time with you, just the two of us I mean."

Your heart was pounding heavily in your chest, as your gut clenched. "It has been a while hasn't it?"

Silent tension hung between you. You both knew the reason you hadn't spent time alone was due to your mutual feelings. The two of you were mutually and unconsciously avoiding each other for fear of giving in to your attraction.

"Do you miss it?"

You nodded in response and he smiled softly before nodding once and returning to the noodles he had been preparing before.

As you ate, little conversation passed between you. Both of you were lost in your own thoughts about each other as you both silently struggled with the same fears and reservations.

You timidly set your empty noodle pot aside as you felt Seungcheol look over at you. When he continued to stare, not looking away, you slowly looked over.

The look in his eyes made your breath catch. His gaze was soft, yet intense, and you could feel the emotion pooling behind his eyes.

Slowly, he reached over, and placed his hand on your cheek. "You're cold." He mumbled softly.

As he suddenly stood up, allowing the blanket that was draped across the two of you to drop, you stared at him in confusion. Picking up the blanket it, he draped it over you before he began grabbing the other blankets and lying them down on the couch.

Is he going to sleep out here?

"What are you doing?"

Seungcheol didn't respond as he grabbed some pillows and placed them on the couch as well.

You watched with a curious gaze as Seungcheol walked over to you before reaching down and scooping you into his arms.

"Wha-!"

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he lifted you, alarmed at his sudden actions.

He smirked as he plopped you down on the couch. You blinked in surprise as you stared up at him as he squeezed into the couch beside you before pulling you into his arms.

"We should sleep here. It will be warmer out here by the fire."

You attempted to get out some words, but apart from some bewildered sounds, nothing came out. Seungcheol grinned before he adjusted himself so he was lying face to face with you.

"We?" You finally muttered.

He nodded his head, grin remaining. Grabbing a blanket, he covered the two of you before he continued to stare at you.

"I'll put some more wood on the fire before we go to sleep but-...but for now I just want to stay like this."

As you stared at each other for a moment in silence, he slowly brought his hand to your face and caressed your cheek.

"I don't think I can do it anymore."

"Do what?"

"Avoid this. Avoid us. The reasons we had before... don't make sense to me now. I just want-"

As he paused with a soft sigh, your heat skipped a beat.

"Want what?"

"I just want you. I want to be with you."

Reaching up, you took his hand from your face and held it. You fiddled with his hand as you thought fr a moment. Seungcheol's chest tightened as he prepared himself for you to list of reasons why it wasn't a good idea.

"I want to be with you too."

His eyes bulged out for a moment as you spoke, making you giggle.

"You do?"

"Of course I do, you knew that well enough didn't you?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, but I- I meant I want to be with you now. Forget the reasons and excuses why we shouldn't, I don't care about those, I want to be with you."

You smiled as you nodded, "That's what I meant too."

He paused as he processed your words, and with a sudden boost of elation he leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours as he pulled you closer by the waist.

After a moment of surprise, you melted into the kiss as your hand gripped his shirt. He deepened the kiss with a sense of desperation, as he finally gave into his desires.

A sudden wave seemed to rush over the house as the lights turned on and the cabin came back to life.

You both pulled away with alarm before you locked eyes and chuckled. You hadn't noticed the snow outside was only soft snowfall now. As heat began blowing through the house Seungcheol shook his head.

"That didn't last long."

You grinned a him as you cleared your throat softly. "Can we still stay out here?"

He grinned as he kissed you again, before peppering a few kisses on your cheek and neck.

"Yes, absolutely."

xx End xx

I didn't know how to end this lol. Hope you liked it! This was my first time writing for S.Coups

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669

-Taglist Form-

[theclassiccosmic]

Pick a Pile / March Epiphanies

Images from Instagram & @hikayelertukendii

PILE 1 - White Tulips

Pile 1 - 6 of Pentacles Reversed, Page of Wands, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands, Ten of Swords Reversed

Miracles, Strength, Tenacity, Fortitude, End of Suffering

You are stronger than you know. I’m getting the image of the Disney movie, Hercules. He is raised by his mortal parents, always having to be careful with his strength and abilities. However, in this time, it’s like you are coming “online” to the fact that this is your authentic identity. No more “being careful”, no more hiding. You’re taking a leap in something, even if you’re scared. As soon as you take that leap, I see miracles being rained down on you! Yes, babe!! You are leaning into your strong leadership role. You’re being your true self, even if you’ve been told that you are usually “too much” for people. Let those people go find less. You are embracing who you are now. You are loving yourself. You are filling your own cup. You should be so so proud of yourself! I’m proud of you <3

Oracle Cards: Quiet Your Mind, My Heart is Open to Love, Radiate Confidence

These tell me that you should take time to regularly meditate or pray. Everyday. Your thoughts become things, so make sure you’re quieting your mind daily. This will bring out your best timeline. Grounding will make you more confident, less anxious. Embracing your authenticity will open your heart up to love. Loving yourself, loving others, attracting a romantic partner. This will all culminate for you, as you *actively* participate in bringing it in. Spirit and the Universe/God, is always here for you. They are cheering you on as you enter this new chapter!

Song for Pile 1: Can I Jump? - Freya Ridings

PILE 2 - Red Tulips

Pile 2 - Five of Cups Reversed, The Emperor, Three of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles

This will be a month for you to release a toxic ex or situationship. This connection left you out in the cold. It was all you initiating and desiring (ie. You doing everything, and them not doing sh*t) Too one sided. You might have met them at work, like you two work together, or you went to their place of business looking for a service and met them (like the barista at your local coffee shop). But here’s the thing, your attention was only the first way they were *taking* from you. You were also giving your power away by giving their establishment money (examples that I’m getting: paying for coffee, continually going to them to groom your dog, going to them for some sort of healing service - chiropractor, reiki, massage). And they just kept taking! Bc they knew you liked them and their ego was getting stroked. But not anymore!! With the Queen of Pentacles and The Emperor I’m seeing you taking your power back! They were bleeding you dry, keeping you disempowered, until you reached a big mental shift and energetic upgrade (could be peaking this month!) Finally you are coming out of the cold (this pile is the only one where the flowers are in the snow - coincidence? I think not). You are choosing yourself. You are realizing that you are worth more. You are worth reciprocal energy exchanges. You are worth receiving as well as giving. You are worth the Sun being shone on YOU instead of the other way around all of the time. Yes, babe! I’m loving this for you!

Oracle Cards: I Release All Negative Energy, Surrender to the Spirit Energy, Strong Brave Bold, You Will Not Stand in the Shadow of Another

The Oracle cards even speak of this being a negative/toxic connection. Actively work on releasing it (cord cutting ceremonies, meditation, journaling), they are not worthy of you boo! You are strong, brave and bold and sometimes people see that, and instead of being *attracted* to it in a romantic way, they are drawn to it in a way that brings forth envy. They want to take it from you. But like these Oracle Cards say, You will NOT stand in the shadow of another! It’s giving…self respect okay! Move on and watch your glow up explode!!

Song for Pile 2: We Can’t Be Friends (Wait for Your Love) - Ariana Grande

PILE 3 - Lilac Tulips

Pile 3 - Strength, Four of Wands Reversed, Six of Pentacles Reversed, Queen of Swords Reversed, Ace of Swords

3 out of your 5 cards came out reversed. You’re definitely laying something down now. “Laying down the struggle” is what just came through. In the deck that I’m using, even your upright Ace of Swords is showing a hand dropping the sword. You’re not fighting anymore. You’re done making life hard. I’m getting this visual of that old Disney movie The Sword and the Stone. In all of your cards, your swords and your wands are pointing down, they’re falling. I’m seeing them fall into the stone from that movie. And then you come along, with all of your innate intuitive power, and pull them out. You are making what hurt you, now *work* for you. You better get it, fam. Side note: when I looked up that movie, the year really called out to me. It was made in 1963, and when I look up the angel number 1963 online it says “Angel Number 1963 asks you to trust and believe that you will always have plenty to care for yourself and your loved ones. Know that you are able to confidently serve your life purpose and soul mission with your wants and needs being met along the way. The angels and Universal Energies will ensure that your material needs are always met in Divine right time. Trust that the Universe provides all.” [Sacred Scribes blogspot] Which brings me to the energy of the Strength card. On my deck, strength is represented by the bull. Very much like a Taurus. You may have a Taurus Mars {the planet of action and doing) or you may have a lot of Taurus or fixed energy in your birth chart. Either way, this is telling me that everything is going at the pace in which it should. Divine timing is at play right now. I’m feeling like some of you may have been feeling frustrated by how long this “healing journey” has been going on for you. Peep what the oracle messages had for you “everything will reveal itself in time”.

Oracle Cards: My Destiny Will Reveal Itself in Time, Surrender to the Spirit Energy, Consider All Your Options Before Acting, Let Go of Things That No Longer Serve You

There is healing happening here. You are surrendering. You are trusting the divine timing of it all. And if you’re *not* doing that, then the message here is for you to lean more into that this month. It is imperative for your growth and ascension. In life we must let go of things, people, environments that no longer serve us. It’s sad but it’s true, not everyone is meant to go with you on this journey. Consider your options. Trust your intuition. Don’t let others make your decision for you. Make the decisions and life choices that will make your heart happy. In doing so, you will let go of a lot of hurt and strife that you are no longer meant to be experiencing, love. You’ve got this!!

Song for Pile 3: Now is the Hour - The 1975

DM me for personal/private readings or if you’d like to dive deeper into one of these piles! Until next time -xo

[mistercrowbar]

I had a thought about an ascended to godhood Aldiirn and I think he’d be the god of a certain kind of fear.

I figure it’d be that kind of fear a fresh faced bard would feel looking out over a crowded tavern and realizing they’d never played infront of this many people before.

Or the anxieties of a diplomat trying to talk their way out of a deal while bound at the hands.

Or even some love drunk bastard trying to work up the courage to tell their paramour how they truly feel.

See it’s not just stage fright. It’s that deep down fear of failure and all that could be lost should you take that chance.

In those moments when those poor shaken sods think “by the gods please let this work.” That’s when Aldiirn arrives.

His help varies by situation. Some simply need the right phrase, the right chord, the right move, or even just affirmation that the only thing worse than doing it scared is being left with the “what if” for the rest of their days.

You may think a god like this would be one of courage and bravery, but you’d be mistaken. What it takes to turn fear to courage varies from person to person, but regardless if your audience is a band of killers, the love of your life, or an actual audience.

The fear is always the same.

He’d be the god of doin it scared. The Dalai Lama of the doubtful diplomats and dawning divas. The higher power of the hold my beers and anxious dears. He’s the little voice in the back of your mind saying “You can do it and here’s how!”

I can’t promise that he’d make the world a better place, but I can guarantee he’d make it far more interesting.

Anon how dare you write such beautiful things about my character. I’m blown away by this. Its so good. So spot on. It’s perfect. I’m gonna be reading and rereading all day. I’m printing it out and putting it up on my office art wall.

I keep wanting to joke that “you think Aldiirn is a scared neurotic guy now? Guess what he used to be WORSE,” but like, no, he still is “worse,” he’s just learned ways to cope and power through and get things done while scared. Not all his methods are healthy, and sometimes he falters, especially with the Rosymorn arc just piling on a bit too much for him to handle, but he gets through and comes out better for it.

And isn’t a tav there to help the other companions overcome their fears? What is Bardic Inspiration but a “you got this!” just when it’s needed? I’ve always loved bards for being a support class that uplifts the party, and Aldiirn is sure as hell gonna be there for his. He’ll be by their sides to give just the nudge they need to overcome their fears.

I actually just finished lettering a page form comic scene of Aldiirn and Lae’zel discussing the egg. And like. Yes I do play up Aldiirn’s fear of her for laughs. But the scene ended up becoming the epitome of “do it scared.” How Aldiirn was raised, subservience is survival, hence all the times he’s “yes, mistress” to Lae’zel. But to actually get through to her he’s gotta do things the githyanki way which is to flex your own clout and ooouuugh he does it but his mind is SCREAMING at him the whole way because this is how you end up ragdolling down the mountainside!!! But he does it. He does it scared.

Thank you for this anon, your writing is just, so eloquent. Writing’s always a struggle for me, but when comics I can just push an expression or all this feeling I have onto a page and hope someone picks it up and it’s just, so good when someone see it’s there.

Keep on keeping on!

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 3

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader

Words: 4,990, Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Sexism, Arguing, Man trying to get with reader.

A/N: AAAHHHH PART 3?!!? Guys this is so much fun for me and I'm so glad you guys are having fun too. Is it weird that I feel like we are doing this together? Also guys just to warn you... we are getting a little angsty,,, a little violent... So if you are not into it, comment and I will give you the general plot of this chapter if it become too much! Anyway please enjoy, love you guys so much! And if I forgot to add you to the taglist I am so sorry! Just lemme know and I'll amend it! And if you need to see the other parts, click the tag with the title of the series, and it should have all the parts together! Ok I’m done!

The home of Alfie Solomons was the quintessential diorama of an old man's bachelor pad. Despite the anxious and angsty attempts by his elderly maid Sarah, the home still carried the air of a man who not only preferred to be left alone, but also had no plans of adding anyone into his inner sanctum. There was paper and documents strewn about, half read books piled by his favorite chair, a hosting bar cart that was looking more ancient than him, and a massive dog making his home on the floor in front of the roaring fire. Alfie silently thanked Sarah for her efforts. Sarah was the best housekeeper he could have ever asked for, she was essentially silent, and did not scold him for the ever present animal pen he kept. Then only things she asked for was to be paid on time, for her Sabbath to be uninterrupted, and to be warned ahead of time if there was to be company. Luckily, he never had to concern her with the last item.

With a grunt he landed on his favorite chair, studying the unused love seat and the matching chair to his that sat across from him. It was a set that was meant to host, that was meant to have visitors and entertain. He had no idea why he bought them, they looked exactly as they did when he bought them three years ago. Untouched. And yet he couldn't help but imagine you sitting so prettily on the chair beside him. With every inhale he could smell the lingering scent of you on his jacket lapel. Clean, like plain soap and fresh air. A kiss of lavender oil that washed over him as you flipped your hair out of your face. He could see so clearly you laughing at his jokes, pouring out tea for you and him, rubbing Cyrils face and giggling at Alfie's gruffness. He could see you darning a small sock...

With a groan Alfie rubbed the visions out of his eyes like a dream. Because that's what it was isn't it? A stupid stupid dream. You were so... fresh and sweet and... frustrating and loud and obnoxious and such a know it all and... beautiful and kind and smart and...

Alfie huffed and got up to beg for sleep in his room, but his head on the pillow only ran through these reveries even more. You were much to young. 10 years his junior at least. You were pure and kind, and he was a bad man. It was an unequal yoke to carry. He had killed people in the war and at home. He had manipulated and schemed to get this. And you deserved more. You deserved a good man, a softer man. Someone who lived a quiet life and could give you a life above board, where you never had to look over your shoulder. Someone who was gentle and wouldn't argue with you, would just treat you like the Queen of Sheba. That is what you deserved. Not some old gangster with a bad back and dozens of men plotting his demise. With a sigh he resolved his promise. He would take care of you as long as you let him. Protect you from all the mess and nonsense of this job, and let you be the girl you are. And when it was time to let you go... he'd let you go. He could protect you and honor you ask long as you'd let him, but when the right man came along, he’d let you leave, knowing that you were safe. And with a sigh he rolled over, letting himself sleep for a few hours, his mind slipping off into a world where you maybe chose him, and made that other chair your favorite.

Across Camden you had just finished explaining to your mother that your very kind boss had just brought you home after a late night in the office. You had to assure her that you were safe and that he was very respectable, that no danger was present. Though the constant worrying and fussing irritated you sometimes, she was a good woman, a good mother, who just wanted the best for her oldest child.

Your mother and father got married incredibly young, and were forced to become acquainted with the world and it’s imbalances even earlier. Where you still got to be young and childless and educated, your mother at your age had already had you, and was working in the family tailors shop full time. The day you realized your mother could scarcely write her name, you heard your mother sobbing to your father late in the evening. It was then that you resolved to do your best in everything, making sure your mothers sacrifices weren’t in vain. And if it took a little white lie to keep her from having a heart attack? Well… it would be worth it.

“Ah I just don’t know darling, that seems awfully forward don’t you think? I don’t even remember your father being alone with me ever until our wedding night? Are we sure he is a good man? Do you have anything with you in your purse darling?”

“Mama I promise you everything is fine. I think his insistence in NOT letting me walk home is evidence enough yes?”

Your mother fiddled with the end of her long braid, a habit indicating her anxiety, a motion you know well, “Mmm I suppose… but darling I just worry. Young women now… very very independent and it is good but… oh I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of darling. Will you take a weapon or something with you?”

You laughed, and maybe you shouldn’t laugh at your own mother. But… oh it is your mother!!! The sweet woman that she was! Who refused to go to sleep without a candle, and forbid your father from cleaning his gun around her, and dropped many a plate due to loud noises… what does she know about a weapon!! “Mama what weapon?! Shall I bring a hand gun to work? Mama none of us know how to use a gun, except Papa and Eli! I’m ok I promise! My boss is not a dangerous man!”

From her place in the kitchen cabinet you heard her speak, “Oh hush! Of course not a gun!! You are absolutely ridiculous. No just take this pocket knife ok? Oh please don’t look so disturbed! It is in good condition and your father got it for me when he would have to work late at the tailors! Will just put it in your work bag please? For your poor mother? If you love me you’ll do it!”

With a laugh and a kiss on her soft cheek you affirmed her, “Of course mama, I could never refuse your gifts. Now now mama don’t be cross i am not teasing! Just promise me you don’t worry about me anymore! I am a grown woman and I am very capable of taking care of things. I learned from the best yeah?”

You mother nodded and kissed your cheek back, patting your head, “Yes yes. Well thank you my love. Now I’m off to bed, and you should too. Sleep well my darling.”

As you prepared for bed you felt a heaviness in the pit of your stomach. What would your mother say when she found out you had been lying to her? What if she did find out? What if she sees you with Alfie in the street? No no it wasn’t possible. Your mother hadn’t left this side of Camden in a decade, and she hates going farther than two blocks. No no it’s fine. You’re fine. And technically, it wasn’t a complete lie! No Alfie was honorable! And he was sweet! And he was handsome… and kind…. and smart… and rugged… if he weren’t a gangster you would’ve probably been matched with him… to be his wife.. No no! No what a childish fantasy. Those are the thoughts of a love struck child. He was your boss and that was it! So what if he was handsome? You were his secretary and that was it! And if he somehow decided to… promote you… you allowed a giggle to leave your chest as you blew out the lamp next to you. Tomorrow is another day.

Soon you developed a routine with Alfie, and the next few months seemed to fly like a wonderful dream. During the week you woke up, making yourself and Alfie lunch for day. The walk to the bakery was typically a lovely and brisk one, with the rising sun being your partner.

Upon arriving at the office, you make quick work of saying hello to the regular faces, and sneaking a sweet treat to Ollie. You set the kettle on, making sure a nice hot cup is ready for you and Alfie upon his arrival. A healthy amount of milk and sugar for you. Almost no milk for Alfie, but extra sugar. Then the daily schedule needs to be attended to. After working with Alfie for a few months you’ve developed a system of who gets what treatment. Some names get tea and a pleasant seat. Some get very bitter tea and must stand the entire time while they wait. Some get absolutely nothing, and are made to stand with their back to Alfie’s door, wondering how they will be summoned. Shot or call. During the meetings you take copious notes. Partially to make sure you don’t miss anything that Alfie will need to call upon later, partially to make visitors nervous about what is being recorded. You had become quite the necessary tool for Alfie. You added a certain glamour and class to the office. A sort of authority in the way you walked that continued to make weak men sweat in the office. Alfie’s favorite part of these meetings was having you re-read what was said, noticing that you added a certain something to keep the pressure on the other party. You were proving yourself an absolute natural.

It was during a day like this when Alfie came back from a ‘social visit’ with a big smile on his face, “Shalom treacle!! Get your coat darling we’re going out!”

You looked up from the calendar you were organizing, “Shalom Alfie, what do you mean we are going out? You have an appointment at 2, and you need to look at the numbers from last week and-“

“Hush woman, fuck the meeting I said we are going out.”

He grabbed your long coat from the hook, and held it open for you to put it on, “Now my love we have very special things today. You remember the gaming club Tommy mentioned? Well he found a place right? And today we are going to look at it and get a price for it.”

As you put your arms through the sleeves, and grabbed your scarf from Alfie you can’t help but question, “But what does this have to do with me? Why do you want me there?”

Alfie then finished his dressing of you by handing you your bag and offering you his arm, “What does this have to do with you? What does this have to do with you? Have I heard that right? Well my dear you put the fear of the devil himself into men like no other. Make them piss themselves. No no don’t laugh treacle it’s true! I need you to strike fear in the hearts of these sinners and help me find the holes. Think you can do it darling?”

The way he smiled at you… it made you want to do anything and everything for him. You smiled and nodded, “Let’s get on with it then.”

Alfie smiled even greater at the small smirk that played on your beautiful lips. He loved it when you worked with him like this. You walked arm and arm, laughing and carrying on like mischievous children ready to prank their teacher. You arrive at the possible location still laughing when you meet Thomas Shelby, and two other men, who you can only assume are the other Shelby brothers that you’ve heard so much about. Your eyes meet with Tommy’s, and you feel your stomach drop at the wink he gives you before walking toward you and Alfie. “Alfie, glad you could make it, “ he stoops down to grab your hand and kiss it, “Good to see you again darling. Let me introduce you to my brothers.”

You’re introduced to both Arthur and John. Your eyes soften at both their faces. John’s eyes show a soft mirth, a sweetness of a young man who still has so much to learn, much like Eli. Arthur… just looking at him your heart is heavy. You don’t know anything about him but his eyes look sad, and there is a weight to his shoulders that make you already feel quite sorry for him.

It takes about three flights of stairs to reach the top floor of the building. It's musty, clearly has not been used for some time, there are cobwebs and piles of dust over every counter, and the once white cloths covering the tables are now a dingy gray. Your wide eyes look up and around the space, clutching your notepad and pen to your chest, "What did this place used to be?"

Tommy answered, "It was once a bar, a little club run by some young idiot who thought he knew his way around this business. Couldn't make it past a year. Now.... it's been sitting vacant. Waiting for us."

You stray from Alfie's side, making notes of everything that would need to be done, "What all is included in the sale?"

"Everything. Tables, counters, fixtures, chairs. All for a reasonable price if you ask me."

"Mmmm Alfie will be the judge of that I think. Alfie, the wall paper will need to be redone yes? I think a richer color on the walls."

Alfie looked at Tommy and smiled, "Yes you're quite right treacle. A wine red yeah? Something indicative of the debauchery of such a hell hole."

"Mmm yes. Tommy, John, Arthur... how stable is this bar counter? How much would it cost to replace it?"

And so went the rest of the afternoon. You milling around the space making notes and sketches, and supplementing with the comments of the men in the room, who may or may not have been following you like ducklings. John and Arthur pulled curtains to let light in, and frankly John was more than willing to do what it took to gain a pleased smile from you. Once adequate notes had been taken, everyone sat around a table, waiting for the agent to come by and agree to a price.

During this part of the meeting, you tended to hold your tongue, only responding to when Alfie asked you to ‘refresh’ his memory on a particular point. It was these parts of the meetings that you could really see Alfie work his magic. Tommy Shelby and Alfie Solomons couldn’t be more different. Where Tommy was smooth and steady in tone, Alfie was a hurricane. A bear of a man who ripped things to shreds. Though on the surface it looked as though Alfie was merely destroying and rebuilding on a whim, there was a method. Study his opponent, memorize the motions and responses to his moves, and utilize it against them. Use previous information to flip and return on his enemy. It was a studied craft. Something you knew that had worked on for a long time. It was an art piece, and with every wink he threw your way, it was clear it was not just an act, but a piece of him. He was a gangster, through and through.

Soon enough, a deal was reached, and a plan was set in place for renovations to start the very next day. And in accordance with their 50/50 split, equal men of Shelby’s and Solomons’ men would be taking part in the work. All the men shook hands, you nodded and smiled at the Shelbys, quick to rebuff Tommy’s offer to take your hand again. Alfie seemed to be in a particularly good mood, and as you walked out of the building, he looked at you and said, “Oi... you hungry?"

You stopped and peered up in his eyes that were partially obscured by the wide brim of his hat, "Mr. Solomons are you asking me to dinner?"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh goodness... see this is why you can never be nice right? Because there you go... being cheeky with me... can never be a yes or no with you yeah? It's always got to be something with you innit? I mean - "

"Alfie Alfie! Yes I am hungry! Now take me to dinner and buy me a drink yeah?" You laughed at his blustering and grabbed his arm, making him meet your eyes, he huffed in response but couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Buy you a drink yeah buy you a drink! Buy you a hobby so you stop harassing old men. I mean don't you have anything better to do than just be mean to your old boss?"

You laughed as you both walked away down the street, "What do you mean a hobby? My whole life now is just doing your bidding isn't it? And someone must keep you humble, all that business makes your head explode."

You let Alfie lead you to a clandestine pub a few blocks away, shrouded by family businesses and laughing people. As soon as Alfie walked in, the wait staff scurried around, clearing a table in the corner for both you and Alfie. Soon enough you had been given food and drink, and you felt increasingly more relaxed in your seat, facing away from the door opposite of Alfie. You allowed yourself to day dream in the comfortable silence you occupied. It didn't feel like dinner with your boss. It felt like dinner with a friend. Dinner with more than a friend. You imagined about what it would be like with Alfie all the time. To spend the afternoon with him walking through town, enjoying the sun and the conversation. To be taken to dinner with him, meet with friends and repeating faces. To be taken back home with him... sit in front of his fire... to fall asleep with him...

"Hello... treacle??" You're knocked out of your reverie with Alfie's bejeweled fingers waving in front of your face.

"Oh my gosh Alfie I'm so sorry! Yes whats wrong?"

Alfie laughed heartily head thrown back, "Goodness darling your mind must've been in fucking Timbuktu! I was asking if you wanted another drink?"

You felt the heat flush to your ears and cheeks and chuckled in your embarassment, "Oh my goodness I'm so embarrassed. No no I'm fine Alfie thank you. You go, I'll keep our table."

Alfie nodded and went to the bar to grab another glass of Rum. You proceeded to look around the cozy pub when a man slid into Alfie's seat. "Well hello beautiful. Mind if I sit here?"

Your eyes rushed to him. Young. Could be handsome if he cared to bathe and wash the stink of liquor off of him and change his shirt. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was sweaty. Stupid. Clearly so. "I'm sorry but you must be mistaking me for someone else. I'm here with my boss and you are sitting in his seat."

He sneered and winked at you, "Oh I saw the old man alright. Solomons yeah, I know him. I'm not too worried about the old man darling. Why don't you come sit with me yeah? I promise I am much more pleasant company."

The irritation was brewing in your stomach, but in truth you didn't want to cause a scene, "If you know Mr. Solomons then you either have a death wish or you are stupid. Please leave and get away from me. Mr. Solomons will not be happy to see you in his seat."

"You calling me stupid?"

"I am. You are clearly an imbecile, and a drunk one at that, now if you excuse me."

You proceeded to get up to find Alfie, when the man stood up and grabbed your arm, "You dumb bitch, how dare you get up. I'm trying to be nice to you!"

The table fell over with a clatter, and you began to scream, "Get off of me!!"

Before you could say another word Alfie came through wretching the man's hand off your arm, squeezing the man's neck."Now you listen to me right? You apologize to the young lady right now."

The young man's face began to slowly turn red, but he managed to splutter out, "Or what? You're gonna hit me with your cane?"

Alfie only seemed to squeeze tighter, and you saw something in Alfie's eyes that you've never seen before. It scared you. "No... no no... this is what's going to happen. If you don't apologize to the sweet young lady here. I will kill you. If you do apologize, I will not kill you. Now I think... I think that is a pretty generous offer yeah? And little man... I think you know who I am. And I think you know that killing little vermin like you doesn't bother me the least bit yeah? So what will it be? Quickly now!"

Without Alfie letting go, the slowly purpling face gasped out, "I'm sorry. I'm so... sorry ma'am."

You nodded back, feeling bile rise in your throat. Alfie dropped the man unceremoniously on the floor with a crack of the table. Without looking away from the gasping man he yelled to seemingly no one and everyone, "OUT!"

Every patron but you and the owner scrambled out with out a second thought. The bar owner locked the door and went to the back, and you felt your pulse quicken ringing in your ears. The sick in your stomach swirling. Alfie circled the still gasping man, who had bruises blooming on his throat, "Now... who taught you to grab women like that eh? Who said that was ok?"

The man didn't respond, and in anger Alfie kicked him right in the ribs. You screamed behind your hands as you heard the sickening thud and crack. Alfie grabbed the man by the collar and shoved him against the wall, 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU THINK YOU CAN GRAB MY SECRETARY! YOU CAN GRAB MY GUEST?"

The young man began to sob, begging, and saying he was sorry. Alfie only continued, "Oh you crying now yeah? I thought you said you knew about me and weren't scared. That's why you thought you could harass my sweet secretary yeah? Well let me get you better acquainted."

With that, you saw the Mad Baker of Camden for the first time. Beating and beating and beating the man in front of you. Blood coating the knuckles of Alfie, as the young man's face proceeded to take the most brutal beating of it's life. You tried to stay quiet but it became too much, "ALFIE ENOUGH! It's enough Alfie!"

He paused, fist mid air as the man quivered underneath him. Alfie turned to you, "Enough? It's enough?? This man touched you without your permission and this is enough?!"

"You're going to kill him Alfie! Please enough!"

"I determine when it's enough!"

And he went back to punching him, growing more and more wrathful. And it became too much when the groans stopped, but the punches didn't. All you could do was scream at Alfie and weep. When Alfie finally finished and was heaving, you shoved a napkin in Alfie's hand and left without a word.

You began walking down the street, the tears streaming down your face. You didn't want anyone to see you crying, and the slowly setting sun aided. It was going to be an hour walk home. Your feet will hurt by the end of the night. But you didn't care. You needed the walk. You needed the air. You needed the scent of blood out of your nose and the sight of Alfie out of your mind. You had walked for who knows how long when you heard Alfie's voice yelling over the sound of a car, "Get in the car NOW!"

You looked over your shoulder, Alfie was yelling your name out the window of the car, with Ollie driving. You turned your head back and kept walking forward. You kept hearing Alfie curse, yelling your name, "Stop being a child and get in. DO AS I SAY NOW!"

"OR WHAT? YOU'LL BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE??"

You tried to keep walking, but in a dangerous move the car sped and swerved in front of you, blocking your walk. You gasped as Alfie got out of the car, with a red stained, jeweled finger in your face, "Listen to me... you stop this act. You get in the car right now. You can be angry at me all you want but listen to me... you do not walk home alone. You work for me, you don't walk alone at night. Now. Get. In. The. Fucking. Car."

Tears were still streaming down your face, and you were so so angry with him, but you didn't have a choice. And your feet were hurting. With a huff you walk in the car, not letting him hold the door open for you. You sat in your seat, nodding at a very embarrassed looking Ollie. As soon as Alfie sat next to you, you stared out the window, looking at all the apartments whose occupants were definitely not listening in to your argument. You sat in silence for a few moments, but you couldn't hold it in any longer, "That was too far Alfie."

"I decide what is too far."

"You could have killed him."

"And the world would be better for it."

"You cannot treat people like that Alfie. He was just a child."

"A child who definitely would have hurt another woman in the future, he needed to learn a lesson."

You turned to him then, "Oh and that's how people are taught then yeah? Beating them to a bloody pulp any time they make you upset?"

He leaned in to your face, getting dangerously quiet, "This is my life darling. This is what you signed up for."

You scoffed, "I did not sign up to be a witness to you being a beast! This is not a way to live! This is heinous! You don't have a right to treat people this way!"

You didn't realize your volume, or the way your heart was racing. You were heaving, tears streaming down your face. His eyes... fixated on you. There was rage but you knew it wasn't at you, "I have every right darling. This is the life that has been given to me. Everything that I have, everything that I can give to you, Ollie, and the rest of the men in that distillery, is because of what I do. This world that we live in darling? You think that's fair? Nah... that ain't fair. If you want anything in this life... you need to take it. Grab it with both hands and never let go and never let anyone else take it. This is the way this world works beloved. This. This is what you signed up for. Now either grow up... or don't come back to the office."

You breath stopped. You didn't even consider that option. You felt more tears fall as you turn to face the window again. The rest of the car ride was in agonizing silence. You hated every minute. Alfie made no noise except a huff. After an infinity, you finally reached your home before you could move Alfie put his hand out, "Don't get up yet."

He grumbled as he got out of the car, looked around at both ends of the street, and then went to your door, opening it and helping you out. You refused to meet his eyes but you took his hand. You also let him walk you to the door, and as you reached for the door, you hear him cough and say, "I want you back at the office treacle alright? Course I do. But you really need to decide whether you can handle this. I hate seeing you upset I do darling. But this is who I am. This is the business. Now you need to decide if you can do it. Alright?"

You nodded your head limply. He just patted your head, feeling sick in his stomach, "Alright then. I'll know your answer if I don't see you tomorrow. Good night sweet heart."

"Goodnight Alfie." You whispered, turning your back quickly to run upstairs. Alfie would drive home in complete silence that night, agonizing about what would happen.

You ran past your whole family gathered around mending the laundry in the sitting room. You refused to tell you mother what happened, and didn't let Eli in your room. When your younger sister asked you what was wrong, you just cried in her chubby baby arms, while she patted your head with her child palms. You cried in your pillow, reliving the vision you saw, wondering what to do. You didn't want to see that kind of violence, you had never seen anything like that. But you loved this job. You loved your freedom. You loved spending time in the office, laughing with Alfie and meeting new people. You tossed and turned all night, but sleep would not take you. It was well past midnight when you finally felt the exhaustion of the day creep its' fingers over your eyes.

And then you smelled the smoke.

Tag List: @jokersqueenofchaos @hoodeddreams13 @satur9-saturnalia