#These ppl have such bad disordered eating
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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Omg Nick said Orlin had bulimia in his video 6 years ago which he made to address accusations that he has bulimia
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very tired.
#meadows.txt#my job offer seems to have fallen thru#which means a lot of bad things compounding#and i am very very very tired of being at the mercy of ppl who force me to do paperwork#that they don't even bother reading#truly one has not known lack of control over your life#until a govt agency deciding your entire life stops caring about you#which is all to say i am. too tired to talk most days#all days?#and eating disorder treatment revealed i have PTSD which like lol ok i mean. i knew#but no one ever believed me#so now i'm digesting THAT#which is to say...#i'm too tired to speak but i think of ppl a lot and this is all the energy i have
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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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scared as fuck for thanksgiving aaaaaaa
#cat's rambles#neptune is complaining again#tw ed#<- for the tags#also homophobia n transphobia warning#ok i rhink this is enough tagd to add the rewd more#me n my family are going over to my transphobic family friends house and i Do Not like it rhere. at all . for obvious resdons#and their daughter makes fun of mr for being gay i think and treats it like a joke (i came out to her on accident)#and her little brother is . odd but thats not too bad#but i moslry dont like the daughter and i’ll probably have to spend time w her bc shes my age#and she makes fun of how i dress. um. and im plannjng on going in my faggiest fit possible out of the sruff i packed#so im scared to talk to her? yeah. she Will make fun od me i cancalready tell rbsjwiwhahahahhdhshvhahah. hah#ane fucklk dont get mevstattervon the food. rhamsgivign food is terrifying#rheresvso much of it n ppl afe expecter to eat and im so scared. im so fucking scared#whyyyy do i have an eating disorder ough cant i just br loke normsl or somehtjnf . sigh.#and my parents wull most definitely make sure i eat so i cant do anythung except knvm ognna stop uapping now#ok thank you for listejing if you did. sorry#delete later
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“he let the intrusive thoughts win”
PLEASE for the love of god learn what intrusive thoughts are I hate it when people say this oh my god
#intrusive thoughts#my sibling and I were just talking about how frustrating it is#like no eating an entire tub of ice cream is not ‘letting the intrusive thoughts win’ please be serious#my sibling was comparing it to ppl being like ‘I’m a little bit ocd’ or whatever like that shit is so dumb#‘I’m a little obsessive compulsive disorder’ is what you’re saying like do you even hear yourself????#words have meanings btw#I get that the ppl saying this stuff don’t have bad intentions or anything tho#it’s not like if you do this then you suck and I hate you lol#I just wish ppl would think a little bit more about what they’re saying sometimes
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Gonna get spicy for a second and say that everyone loves spewing hate about narcissistic (NPD) parents and how awful parents with personality disorders are, but if someone were to make a post with the exact same cadence about ADHD parents they'd get shot in public at first sight
#rambling#Lemme clarify and extend my point here (cos I feel ppl could really misinterpret this one)#Am I saying people should just accept the abuse of parents if said parents have a personality disorder? No#Am I saying people with ADHD parents have it worse or that both experiences are comparable and exactly the same? No#What I'm saying is that ppl are much more eager to call out abusive or neglectful behaviour from ppl w personality disorders bc#they're seen as 'scary' or 'monstrous' and inherently evil so they have no qualms going full force at it. They think -pd ppl are the devil#But adhd in ppl's general views could never be the source of such pain from a parent to a child; ADHD ppl are seen as childish#and harmless and clueless and silly and tbh a bit stupid. Besides they could never hurt a 'monster' by jumping the gun at -pd ppl right?#'normal people don't have personality disorders so this can't affect me! But normal people can have adhd!'#That's the core of my complaint: one is dehumanised as a destructive monster; the other is as an innocent victim child#And both (parent w -pd & w adhd) can be pretty bad in their own uniqie ways! But such a thing is never considered - for the#societal construct of the child - that neurodivergencies get pushed into - is of an untainted pure inherently clueless being below human#From my exp and the exp of other friends lemme say: having an adhd parent can suck so much ass! Lol#I grew up with two opposing ideals troubling my mind: my mothers obvious overwhelming love; and the shadow her constant absence cast#She loved me so much and did as much as she could; but constantly forgot about my care and my needs and made rash choices#I think about that more and more as i age; especially as i go to doctors over and over for problems i have had since forever#It is an awful feeling to have sink in your heart: how a parent's love isn't enough; how 'maturing quick' isn't a blessing but a curse#As i grew i stopped telling my mom about my needs my school things and my life bc i got used to her forgetfulness and lack of organisation#It meant irregular eating schedules & inadequate meals. In 5th grade I'd eat table scraps at school cos my mom couldn't remember#how I'd tell her over and over that the food had to be in a specific way or it'd get burnt in the school's oven#I'd go to the 'first' dr appointment to deal w an ongoing problem & then she'd forget to schedule the following ones#You get the idea#Kind of a weird post w a strange framing device but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Smth triggered this thought last night#I'll also never forget a few months ago when i went go a specialist for my hEDS - told her I've known all my life but never got treatment#Also just. The crushing feeling of the dr saying ''you should've gotten your own med team to work ur case since u were young!'#And just. silently nodding & wanting to cry feeling validated but also so hurt looking @ the obvious neglect#Anyways hey how did this therapy session go Doctor
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idk if this is a Hot Take or not but
"""raw vegans""" are almost always trying to hide an eating disorder just as much as obsessive dieters
#anyone can have a Problem and make excuses using diet culture!#i only drink juice and eat fruit on bad days and ppl say “wow look at you being healthy”#n O thats not healthy shut the fuCK up a body needs protein#eating disorders /#ed /#text
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also if you have relatives/friends who will not in a million years admit that they are racist/homophobic/etc. since they know this is a bad thing they shouldn't endorse or be, then calling them out directly often leads to denial and deflection and getting really defensive and not backing down.
But if you just say 'hey, it was kind of rude to say X' or 'i think you were making H uncomfortable by bringing up X/making X joke' then they're more likely to listen w/out immediately going to level 10 defensive mode.
Also, ppl who will staunchly deny being a racist/fatphobe/homophobe/etc. will be more likely to agree to simply being 'a bit of an asshole last night.'
The goal is not to get the person to make a complete 180. It's to get them to be a little bit less of an asshole next time. And then rinse and repeat until someday they're, like, barely an asshole at all.
GRADE SCHOOL SJWS stop using social justice language to explain shit to your conservative parents IT’S NOT GONNA GO THROUGH now all they have are some new words to make fun of. don’t tell your mom she’s being fatphobic tell her she’s being a dick
#i have a lot of family and friends who can be dicks about stuff#sad thing is a lot of them don't actually think they're being harmful#like they legit do think that making a racist joke IN FRONT OF a person of that race is like...something they'd be cool with#like no i'm sorry but yes they are laughing at the joke but like very uncomfortably#they are going to find an excuse to leave any second now and u will not understand why they had to go so early#also the fatphobia is strong in this family. fat is also strong in this family#so it's like even worse somehow#like jesus christ it's one thing if it's my skinny-ass baby sister with a long history of body image issues and eating disorders#who is making the fat-shaming remarks#but Dad? my guy YOU are not a skinny guy. you've very much got a classic dad beer gut going there#you are in no position to be throwing these stones#the inside of his mind must be wild because he knows he has a fat beer gut and is like proud of it#but he also does not consider himself fat. like does not cross his mind#also majority of our extended relatives are fat. this is america. not surprising.#he somehow has them all put into separate categories of like good and bad kind of fat ppl but i can't figure out the metric#it's not something simple like gender or age or ppl over a specific weight#at this point i have given up on figuring out what's going on in his head#my middle sister and i have had great success on getting Dad and baby sis to simply not say shit in public#no racist jokes no fatphobic remarks. save it for car rides and family dinners#where the only ones suffering are me and middle sis#and not some poor innocent waitress or retail clerk or somebody behind us at the grocery store#baby steps
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Repeat after me: something being unhealthy or otherwise causing the person doing it distress does not make it morally wrong.
(This is part of healthism.)
#this brought to you be the fact that repeated severe traumatic brain injury is handwaved by most people when it's a result of football#but stuff like getting so sucked into online discussions of oppression that you end up more traumatized than from the oppression alone#despite that not standing up for yourself would also have traumatized you more than the oppression alone#makes you a terrible person who has lost all right to participate bc you misjudged your ability to handle something difficult once#like hey! maybe in fact vulnerable people doing their best to survive in a world hostile to them have every right to not be perfect about it#that's without even getting into stuff like how unhealthy choices can be a form of self harm#let alone that self harm should be considered a right of personhood#this is about addicts (including smokers and alcoholics) and people who lash out when triggered or having health crises#and mentally+physically ill people who do not make 'the right' choices to conform to abled standards (including 'choosing not to recover')#and about people with delusions and psychosis who choose to experience and interact with their symptoms#and people who struggle with disordered/unhealthy eating including subclinically#and people who refuse the 'acceptable' options like therapy/physical therapy - sometimes bc they've been harmed by those things#and people who don't have access to healthier options bc of poverty or food deserts or disability or other systemic injustice#to be clear despite one example being about lashing out at others when in crisis this is NOT saying it's okay to hurt other people#that specific example is an exception in extenuating circumstances (having a bad enough crisis that you are no longer fully in control)#you still have a responsibility to take steps to prevent further harm to others#to hold yourself accountable for the harm you did as soon as able by apologizing and working to do better and repair that harm#even if that means recognizing you may not be able to control the way you act in the future + asking for help putting safeguards into place#such as having a professional trained in mental health crises who can keep both you and others safe during those times#and even if you are not able to do so yourself#finding someone who you trust to help you do so or do so for you#people so often forget that mental illness is a massive spectrum with a huge variety of symptoms and severity of disability#and when people say 'not able' so many people hear 'didn't want to' or 'lazy'#just because bad actors use not able to avoid accountability doesn't mean you have any right to determine someone's capability#you can absolutely remove yourself from the situation#but it's still ableism to flat out deny the severity of someone's disability bc abusive ppl co-opt it#in any case I debated including that example but I refuse to throw people under the bus who make mistakes/do harm when struggling themself#there's a world of difference between unintentional harm especially done by a person in crisis without their needs being met+without support#and stuff like abuse which is a pattern of harm from someone who holds some kind of power over you (whether or not they intend to harm you)#(at least that's the definition of abuse I use. the power is what allows them to force or coerce you into enduring the abuse)
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im starting to realise how progressively aggravating it is that my coworkers are constantly commenting on my eating habits
#i dont eat at work and i just go haha i eat when i get home (true) its a bad habit from my masters cause i didnt have time to eat#and the AMOUNT OF TIMES THESE PPL ARE LIKE wow i could nevet#wow i wish i could do that#wow im always hungry dony uou get hungry#got asked if i could eat lunch instead of just dinner so they can see that i do eat and so i’ll have energy for work#like what do yall want me to say ????#yes! bad habit! but somewhere along yhe way or maybe even before i developed an eating disorder!!#and now i have insane body dysmorphia and im constantly checking my weight#and i cant go to anyones house without falling into a binge#my lowest weight was <39kg like the fact that i’ve been gaining weight nonstop since october is physically a good thing#i just want them to shut up i already dont care if these ppl live or die like stop making me actively dislike you
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i have to go out to see my friend but i am scareds .
#vwoop.noises#What if I need to be put down .#Also I am briefly meeting his other friend bc hes gotta drive her to work#And what if I make a bad impression so he has to kill me . It could be true#HOW EVER ! SONIC IN THERE#we are going to hang out. till he needs to pick his friend up (8 area) and i suddenly got scared his parents will try to feed me#Autistic Nightmare . Well. Nightmare shared with all disordered eating#Isn't it so messed up that ppl r so mean to autistic people abt having comorbid eatng dsorders . Because theyre just stupid little kids who#can only eat chicken nuggets or whatever. Isn't it great. Isn't that really cool and progressive to say#what else am i scareds about. Everything
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so turns out that eating disorder scientists actually do know stuff about eating disorders... who knew
#trying to lose some weight so tracking calories atm#but like#it's soooooo hard on days when i work#like bc I do quite long shifts and i don't control my breaktime#and the staff food is bad#so i'm restricting myself#which should be good for the losing weight you would think??#SIKE#restricting during the day just makes me want to binge when i get in the house#and i don't like using that word#bc i don't like thinking about myself having a binge eating disorder#bc I feel like for quite a while i had almost like an undereating disorder#and i know they're all linked like i know i know#but idk i don't like classing myself as having a binge eating disorder#bc then i guess I still do overrestrict sometimes#but maybe that's just cause i want to prove I'm not a binge eater idk#anyway i hate it here m#aybe it's easier just to day that i exhibit disordered eating#rather than having a specific type of eating disorder#idk idk idk#need to tag this as something so ppl can filter it#cath ed vents#or maybe it's#cath de vents#ed mention
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I get really cranky when ppl call celiac an allergy. Like I get in restaurants and stuff asking "diet or allergy" for making gluten free stuff is a quick and easy way to figure out if they need to be aware of cross contamination or not! But also I feel getting lumped in with 'allergy' perpetuates ppls misunderstanding abt the disease
#for those curious its classified as a disease/autoimmune disorder . not allergy.#im not allergic my intenstine will judt dissolve itself when the disease is triggered and the trigger for celiac is gluten#honestly as much as it annoys me if calling it an allergy is what i have to do to get ppl to take it seriously... whatever#i am so stressed every day like its so easy for ppl to forget and not be aware of cross contamination and AUHHH.#it sucks. it sucks so much man#also when ppl call it an allergy it feels dismissive of the fact that its a serious disorder (not that allergies arent serious) but its lik#'allergy' doesnt encompass the chronic fatigue and joint pain and brain fog and intestinal pain.#and the body not absorving nutrients properly and the liklihood of other disorders and cancer increasing#sometimes the brain fuzzy and pain persists even when i havent triggered it#it really is the most clown honk disease like if you accidentally eat 1 breadcrumb you wont absorb nutrients properly for like a week lol#itd just stressful and i hate it bc even ppl who i love forget and its so easy to slip up and contaminate things i eat even accidentally.#hate it here!!!#anyways theres my monthly autoimmune vent hate this bad boy <3
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ive never hated a doctor quicker than i have now.
#daisy.txt#im gonna rant in the tags and >> has to do w it so i'll just tag it with a tw so anyone doesnt get exposed to this kind of shit#fatphobia tw#mr bone doctor guy... can you please talk to my father abt the fractured bone and treatment for that#instead of going off on a VERY LONG speech abt how hes fat and needs to lose weight or he'll die#like. you can talk abt how he needs to lose weight without harping on it endlessly.#was it relevant? yes but not to the extent of 'i'm going to rant about this for several minutes before i even talk to you about the actual#injury that you're here to see me about. btw sugar is the devil and poison dont put it in ur body ever'#like. my guy. i know ppl with eating disorders. ive seen ppl say this kind of talk directly contributed to the way they felt abt food#like. say what u fucking mean. EXCESSIVE amounts is bad. not all sugar is automatically bad.#like. yes i know he has a point! my dad and i both agree he has a point! but i heavily disagree on how that message was put across#he has a fractured bone in his upper arm. this doesnt mean 'rant for several minutes abt how all sugar is poison.' and then be wishy-washy#as hell with the actual reality of shit. we went from 'yeah we'll need a CT scan ur gonna need surgery'#to him bringing a coworker in who said 'are you sure that (bone fracture he said) is what it is? it looks like (diferent thing) to me'#and him agreeing like oh yeah thats it#(nothing against getting a second opinion btw like im glad he did!!! but the man didnt say 'you might need surgery' he said 'you will')#(and i think he could have held back on the definite until he KNEW)#and then he went from 'its 50-50 surgery or let it heal let me talk to my colleagues in [city]' to#'ok theyre not gonna do surgery they think it can just heal naturally and i agree w them'#like. my guy! im glad u got a second opinion but can u literally not come in guns blazing with 'UR DEF GONNA NEED SURGERY' if ur not a hund#on whether or not he'll need surgery??? cite it as an option bc the moment he walked out of the room my dad and i looked at each other like#'well... fuck.' because we thought he'd have to have surgery!!!#these tags are getting long but holy fuck i do not like this guy. something abt all of it together just pissed me tf off
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Pretty disturbed to see this eating disorder encouragement on my dash , "based on your likes" where it KEEPS POPPING UP. Thank God this is something I've never personally had issues with ED, or this shit would seem like it was literally haunting me. I don't know how it's based on my likes since I don't think I've ever liked anything about eating disorders on this site, but idk. Also good(?) for the op to tag "tw eating disorder" as though they recognize that the montra of self-harm they've posted might be triggering to SOME people, but for them personally I bet starvation is a perfectly healthy and effective weight loss tactic (derisive sarcasm)
If a disorder could be solved with simple facts we'd live in a better world, but still its worth repeating that starving yourself is not a healthy or effective way to lose weight. Do not let yourself get trapped in any corner of the internet where you can post something like this and people agree without a much greater number of people reminding you that no, this doesn't work, and also no, you probably don't need to lose weight. Eat when you're hungry, eat your carbs and proteins and sugars and FATS, and exercise a reasonable amount, and you'll look better, feel better, and be healthier than you will from skipping meals.
#tw eating disorder#tw ed#eating disorder#and don't think 'oh it's bad for other ppl but I'm the exception I do need to do this'#thinking I'm the exception and that I have to hold myself to a higher standard than anyone else IS something I'm familiar with#and it's only ever made me more depressed#you are not the exception to biology
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