#makes you a terrible person who has lost all right to participate bc you misjudged your ability to handle something difficult once
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Repeat after me: something being unhealthy or otherwise causing the person doing it distress does not make it morally wrong.
(This is part of healthism.)
#this brought to you be the fact that repeated severe traumatic brain injury is handwaved by most people when it's a result of football#but stuff like getting so sucked into online discussions of oppression that you end up more traumatized than from the oppression alone#despite that not standing up for yourself would also have traumatized you more than the oppression alone#makes you a terrible person who has lost all right to participate bc you misjudged your ability to handle something difficult once#like hey! maybe in fact vulnerable people doing their best to survive in a world hostile to them have every right to not be perfect about it#that's without even getting into stuff like how unhealthy choices can be a form of self harm#let alone that self harm should be considered a right of personhood#this is about addicts (including smokers and alcoholics) and people who lash out when triggered or having health crises#and mentally+physically ill people who do not make 'the right' choices to conform to abled standards (including 'choosing not to recover')#and about people with delusions and psychosis who choose to experience and interact with their symptoms#and people who struggle with disordered/unhealthy eating including subclinically#and people who refuse the 'acceptable' options like therapy/physical therapy - sometimes bc they've been harmed by those things#and people who don't have access to healthier options bc of poverty or food deserts or disability or other systemic injustice#to be clear despite one example being about lashing out at others when in crisis this is NOT saying it's okay to hurt other people#that specific example is an exception in extenuating circumstances (having a bad enough crisis that you are no longer fully in control)#you still have a responsibility to take steps to prevent further harm to others#to hold yourself accountable for the harm you did as soon as able by apologizing and working to do better and repair that harm#even if that means recognizing you may not be able to control the way you act in the future + asking for help putting safeguards into place#such as having a professional trained in mental health crises who can keep both you and others safe during those times#and even if you are not able to do so yourself#finding someone who you trust to help you do so or do so for you#people so often forget that mental illness is a massive spectrum with a huge variety of symptoms and severity of disability#and when people say 'not able' so many people hear 'didn't want to' or 'lazy'#just because bad actors use not able to avoid accountability doesn't mean you have any right to determine someone's capability#you can absolutely remove yourself from the situation#but it's still ableism to flat out deny the severity of someone's disability bc abusive ppl co-opt it#in any case I debated including that example but I refuse to throw people under the bus who make mistakes/do harm when struggling themself#there's a world of difference between unintentional harm especially done by a person in crisis without their needs being met+without support#and stuff like abuse which is a pattern of harm from someone who holds some kind of power over you (whether or not they intend to harm you)#(at least that's the definition of abuse I use. the power is what allows them to force or coerce you into enduring the abuse)
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