#The most important people in my stories

[crmsnmth]

Mannequins

This room is filled with mannequins Some dressed up as people from my past There's the girl with the ocean blue eyes Who I still love even after all this time Dressed in sunshine and forgotten dance steps

There's the violent codependent abusive With red blood painted on it's pale plastic skin I stare at it, daring it to make a move because this time I won't let them in

There's the gay man who sold me drugs sometimes for money, sometimes for love Where I learned I have no limits for depravity and that I never really knew my own sexuality

Here's the girl from California who I think of daily my best friend when I had no friends the one who listened to me cry on late and lonely nights And I'm reminded of how much I miss her

Leaning haphazardly against the wall is kid a tragic romance if there ever was one five years of each other's life we wasted before we realized we just didn't work

With missing limbs is my junkie angel And her last words to me play like a scratched vinyl "You need to get clean or your going to die" And a month later she swallowed her tongue and i skipped out on the funeral

I walk through this room of memories The most important people in my stories And I am overwhelmed with nostalgia and sadness I miss you all so much, so so much.

I see my best friend growing up we stopped talking ten years ago because he said he didn't want to watch me burn And I can't say I'd ever blame him

I love you all. I'm sorry.

[technically-human]

Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?

Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?

It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3

Glad you asked

ko-fi

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[vaguely-concerned]

just had the thought 'in the end the most important thing varric taught rook was how to make a home for, with, and in other people' and then I had to go lie down on the floor and clutch at my head in unceasing agony for a few hours, as you may well imagine. hawke and the kirkwall crew........ in the end you kind of saved the world a bit in the most characteristically indirect and chaotic of ways. not by anything in particular that you did or achieved or accomplished (lmao imagine!), but just by -- having existed, and by the love that was always there, despite it all, in all its imperfections, even when no one was saved by it in the end. you're not here right now and you're not quite haunting the narrative but I hear your voices bickering and arguing and laughing from the other room. (and so, I think, does varric. all the time.)

'did you think you mattered, hawke? did you think anything you ever did mattered?' yeah actually, varric says with da2 and keeps saying through the series. you were here. and I loved you. and as it turns out that mattered more than almost anything in the world, no matter how long it lasted or how fucked up it was at the time or what else happens, because varric manages to pass that feeling, that intangible... home, that echo of you all as you were together, that love, hopefully the best parts of it, on to someone else for them to bring with them on their journey, with their family. and maybe the world will be kinder this time. you never know. merrill's line of 'Everything affects everything. We were born, a bunch of things happened, and now we're in a mess with our friends.' varric's greatest fear of becoming his parents. even through the wreck and the ruin of the world, ghosts upon ghosts upon ghosts of love -- malcolm hawke, who we never even see, but his life touched hawke's and hawke's touched varric's and varric's touched rook's and rook is passing it on to the family they're creating. the unbroken legacy of love shines through in ways that are stronger and stranger than any magic. help

[cent-scratchnsniff]

something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny

[crookedfivefingers]

3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ

link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀

[qprpbj]

everything that happens in the outsiders - on the greasers side - is foundationally because of poverty. like literally everything comes back to the fact that these kids come from absolutely nothing and have to fight and steal and scavenge and indulge in recklessness and violence to live. nobody in the story is inherently violent or vicious. conflating being violent because of your surroundings & where you were born with violent aggressive tendencies being something you’re just like born with and can’t help as if it’s in your bones or your blood solely because they’re poor ppl who have to fight to survive is demonizes poverty!!!

also like the outsiders was written by a fifteen year old who wrote the bare bones but frankly glosses over SO much - it’s a kids book to be fair - that realistically would’ve been ever present in these kids lives. realistically, people who grow up in circumstances similar to them are born in environments chock full of addiction, self harm, mental illness, physical illness, suicide, murder, neglect, domestic violence, rape, gangs, organized crime, not having any healthy or safe food to eat, food stamps, welfare, not having water at home, utilities being shut off, dangerous unsafe houses, no houses, people selling their bodies for money, child labour, teen pregnancy, foster care, having little or no proper education, no healthy role models, few/unsafe job opportunities, being taken advantage of for your work, being underpaid, deeply foundational systemic racism, not having accessible trustworthy healthcare, issues with the court, cps, biased legal systems. the list literally goes on forever. these are all interconnected symptoms of poverty! and they are not things that are inherent to anybody’s existence!! people who are born into these severe types of situations are never given a chance to thrive and all of the greasers know this. they don’t get the luxury of indulging in most things the middle or upper class kids do, and even then, the curtis brothers are some of the LUCKY ones. they had two loving stable present parents and food on the table and lights on and extra curriculars!!! they get opportunities even others in their own gang don’t get!!!

all of this is literally WHY darry fought as hard as he did to get out and why he came home the minute he knew he needed to, why he gave up his whole future of breaking cycles to stay stuck in the poor life he grew up in, because he’s inherently nurturing and caring, and he fights both generally and for his brothers because he has to, not because he wants to. dally is proud of his record because he doesn’t have anything else to be proud of bc he’s been a victim of circumstance his whole entire life. johnny knows he’s never gonna be able to fight hard enough to get out of the cycle he was born into. & the greasers being as cavalier as they are about these kind of things happens when people are so desensitized that they don’t notice it occurring around them anymore, and generally the gang sticks to their own and tries not to cause shit with other people. they don’t fight because they want to, they fight out of necessity. even darry. even dally!!!! & i’d be remiss to mention that breaking poverty cycles and intergenerational trauma and abuse when you’re given nothing to work with is truly one of the toughest things someone can do for themselves

tbh idek where i was even going with all this but i just rly want ppl to know that as obvious as it all might sound these are very very real things and not just like book fiction trauma porn plots nor do people wrapped up in systemic issues like these make them inherently bad or inherently violent or inherently aggressive. both these kids and real life people deserve research and care and careful choices of words and observing internal biases and to be talked about, but talked about correctly!!!

[aceredshirt13]

Having read a fair amount of Poirot as of late (the first two novels and most of the short stories in Poirot Investigates), the thing I’ve overwhelmingly come away with is that Poirot and Hastings both are and aren’t what pop culture would have you think that Holmes and Watson are like.

Poirot is outwardly conceited, thinking the best of his own abilities while deriding those of the people around him. Hastings especially falls victim to this, being teased for “not seeing” and manipulated more than once as Poirot withholds the facts, and being resentful of Poirot’s arrogance while also being unduly arrogant himself - nearly every single one of his own proud deductions turns out to be intensely wrong, and he is also prone to foolish or reckless acts in the name of trying to score one off Poirot. Holmes and Watson, on the other hand, certainly have their faults, but their relationship is not so tempestuous, and Holmes is kinder and Watson less foolish than is often presumed by those who have not read the canon. Holmes, while possessed of some immodesty, never flaunts his intelligence so dramatically as Poirot does, and Watson is largely faithful and amazed by Holmes’s deductive capacity, and though occasionally annoyed is almost never resentful.

However, what I like about Poirot and Hastings is the way in which they aren’t like Holmes and Watson as painted with the pop cultural brush - namely that, like the original Holmes and Watson, Poirot and Hastings are unquestionably fond of each other. Their tiffs and petty spats are always contrasted with their affection, if not shot through with it in the first place. Poirot may speak ill of Hastings’s intelligence, but it is shown multiple times that he does not genuinely want to hurt his feelings, and he always asks Hastings to come with him on his cases - not because Hastings always provides any material aid, but because Hastings is his friend. Hastings may tease Poirot and think condescendingly of his mannerisms, but his laughter is always fond, and he admires him and desires his praise and respect just as much as he worries for him and wants to help him in potential times of need. Most importantly, despite their arguments and many differences (age, culture, temperament, just to name a few) they remain steadfastly together (with many year living voluntarily under the same roof!) and ultimately both wish and facilitate each other’s happiness.

They are more difficult than their Doyle-penned forbears, but for that there is no less love.

[narfin-frood]

What do you think wander lore would be like if we had a third season ?

i really don't know, it would depend on how much of his backstory was ever intended to be revealed. like he gets close to talking about the other names people used for him in the past, and he's excited to show sylvia what he was up to a thousand years ago, but like, would we get an explanation for that little shaking wander he's so afraid of in the wanders? would we get to know what made wander so helpless he wanted to make sure nobody ever felt that way again? would we see a home planet, or a family, or any old traveling companions? or is he doomed to be vague because it makes him more magical?

honestly i think it would probably include like. a couple of little lore-drops to expand on a little more, but it wouldn't leave the audience without like a hundred more questions. i think the speculation is really fun, anyway, so i dunno if i would rather know his full life's story or if i'd rather keep guessing at whatever is most interesting to me. im just like these people except cooler and less wrong (slash j)

and tbh i don't have any real headcanons for wander's actual origin point because everything i think about feels a little unsatisfying and makes him a little too dr who. in my head, wander's been around for however long it takes the universe to forget the imprint of whatever brought him into existence in the first place, and that's all i can speculate on without feeling like melodie and her expansive tale of family and feels or whatever

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Expanding on my previous post, I think having to take care of child of the enemy would be such a wonderful deconstruction of Leviathan's character.

Leviathan's main motivation for everything he does is to protect the future of Hell, to protect the children and avange the ones that were lost in the experiments. He eliminates anything that might be dangerous for Hell because if there's even a 1% chance of someone suffering he would blame himself for it. He wants to go find the seed of the fruir of knowledge even though he knows it's a dangerous journey, just because it might save his subjects.

Also, Leviathan (as far as we know) has the most personal reason to hate angels. He's seen them at their cruelest and they've always been a traumatic force in his life. While the other kings got to have more peaceful childhoods (again, we don't know if they were abused, I'm just going off what we know) Leviathan never had that priveledge. Even before the war he was abused by them, and now, in his adulthood, he still can't move on because he sees his subjects being killed and tortured by the same people that abused him.

I think that out of all the characters, Leviathan would be the most... interesting father. Don't get me wrong, he won't be bad, but the sort of abuse that Leviathan had to go through changes you in ways you might never expect. He loves kids, the main reason he fights this war is to make sure the children in Hell get a childhood that isn't characterised primarly by war and death. But if he had to deal with a child 1 on 1 for long stretches of time...

He'll probably be extremely overprotective of them, going by the same rule of 1% change of danger = death. The way most parenting works, especially from people that were abused in their childhoods, is that of trying to protect the child from the trauma they experienced. I doupt Leviathan would even let angels look at his kid, or anyone that he percieves as dangerous for that matter.

We also see in the Orias event that Leviathan can be very nice to the people he likes, and I think that it would be the same for his kid. It would be something like

Leviathan strangling MC: I need to kill you, MC, for your life is bringing certain doom amoungst my people

Levi's kid: Dad, can you help me with my algebra?

Leviathan dropping MC to the ground: Yes, sweetheart, what is it? Do you want us to repeat your multiplications table?

Tl;dr of this post is - stop saying Leviathan would be a shit dad. He'll be overprotective of his kid, but he'll never in a million years hurt a child

[lillymakesart]

my new OC: cempaka!

she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)

also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)

bonus first iteration under the cut!

i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3

[tollsoftheclockwerkbelle]

sega please do not save maria please do not save maria PLEASE do not save mariaaaaaaa sega PLEASE

[moeblob]

OC again gomen ... (her name is Yuma)

[thanatologie]

anyone that says emmrich never actually faces his fear isn't actually paying attention. hear me out, okay, i've talked before (so many times) about how i think for emmrich his fear of death is less actual thanaphobia and more...his fear of being alone. of living alone, of spending eternity alone - especially in a culture and a society that places emphasis on lovers being buried together; he's terrified of it. and a romanced emmrich is so terrified of his relationship with rook - and how he feels - that he's willing to try to end it on the eve of a battle one or both of them might not come back from, because he's worried it might not be the big damn love story he's been aching for his whole goddamn life.

and guess what! rook doesn't come back.

he spends almost a month making that damn dagger - and like the rest of the crew - trying to find rook to pull them out of the fade prison because he's lost them. he's lost them right after realizing his fear's gotten the better of him and he's staring down the barrel of eternity without them. he was already trying to backpedal the whole thing before solas pulled his switcheroo and you know rook telling him they'll talk about it at home was like...a constant refrain in his head that whole almost month they were lost.

(which raises a good point with the mortal vs lich path in this respect, because a mortal emmrich was ready to tear open the fade to get rook back, imagine how many lines a lich emmrich might cross, especially given his line about never letting them be parted in this or any other world again. i have thoughts about how emmrich doesn't come back wrong from that, no, but he definitely comes back changed, he's...off. i've seen speculation that lich emmrich isn't emmrich - which i don't buy - or isn't entirely emmrich - which is a little more interesting and there may be some truth to the latter, or it could be he thinks he's indestructible at that point and gets really reckless and less measured but that is another argument for another time.)

and basically the point i'm leading up to here is...you can complain all you want that he never uses the l word before the final battle, but even with harding pointing out he's gotten a little spacey and distracted and mopey with a relationship on the burner, and all the other pet names he uses so damn liberally (dearest, darling, flame of my heart), he's still holding a lot of stuff back. he's still holding himself back, quite a bit, until that moment when he finally (finally) tells rook he loves them. he never calls rook my love until after the fade prison in the mortal path, and it's just the once, as far as i can actually remember. and it's because of all of that shit above.

(lich emmrich does it earlier, because that this may be my last chance to say it comes a hell of a lot sooner, and he uses my love liberally after that point.)

this is intentional on his part. this man has skirted around using the word love so much ("very fond of you" my ass) that rook totally has the option to call him out on it and it's like a record scratch.

he's, i think, terrified of loving something that can die? and he's terrified of being alone. and ultimately a romanced mortal emmrich has to face both of those things, one after the other, between manfred and the fade prison. and i think, going forward, it's not going to be completely gone - in fact for a hot minute after everything it's probably exacerbated to a large degree and he's probably extra...like that for a while - but it makes him confront those things head on in...very blunt ways. here's a reminder of what losing someone you love deeply to death feels like. here's what losing someone you've given your heart to for safekeeping feels like. it's kind of disingenuous to claim his fears are left untouched, when he's given a one-two knock out punch and is left having to deal with the fallout of that.

eta: and none of this actually touches on the fact that it's him that tells rook to grab the dagger before they go poof, so he's siting with that constant weight on his chest, too, but we'll dig into that at a later time because it's cold and my fingers are starting to get stiff.

[thebluemoo]

I'm so tired. And Frustrated.

I'm tired of characters needing to be "in love" every time they love each other. Especially when the media goes out of the way to make it clear that they love each other without ever trying to define that as "in love". They love each other. That is just as valuable. That is Just as worthy. They can be partners without romance. They can be partners without sex.

They Can Be Partners Without Romance.

I am so Sick of not only the idea that for some god forsaken reason, Every single queer relationship needs to be labeled and categorizable to "count" as explicitly queer, but the idea that it needs to be romantic. The notion that characters and stories cannot be queer until you get to see a kiss or people are declared "boyfriends" or something else like that. We are Woefully shy of queer representation on the whole— I'm not saying you can't interpret media however you like. Do what you want.

But I am so sick of characters that Clearly mirror aromantic stories or stories about queerness that just don't focus on romance be called "not good enough" or "homophobic". Not every story is about romance. Not every partnership is romantic.

That doesn't make them not queer. That doesn't make them not important. I can promise you, those of us who don't or can't center romance in our lives? We Are living a queer experience. We are antithetical to amatonormative allonormative expectations for how life "should" be lead.

We get to see ourselves in those stories you're calling "not queer enough". Queerness is complex and weird and Fucking Queer. It's not an analog of straightness or cisness. We're not playing opposite to straightness or cisness. We're not operating in the same Framework— that's what makes us so goddamn queer. We aren't easily definable, and when we try to force ourselves to find one definitive way to be queer, we leave community behind.

So yes. We need more queer stories. We need more queer stories of all kinds that are messy and weird and romantic and aromantic and trans and ace and nonbinary and all over the place because every single story about queerness is going to be different. And that's good.

[psychomusic]

meet doctor leptis ferrer, also known as fixer nine!

he collaborated with cipher thirteen on a few crucial missions, but his most important aspect is his research.

his backstory before becoming a fixer + some worldbuilding of his home planet under the cut!

he was born on niamos, that, at the time, was shifting from being a planet with its people inhabiting it to the Space Beach™ we know from andor. amidst this changing environment, little leptis was born.

niamos was divided into three main groups of people. the natives; the tourists, who were growing in number, but only stayed temporarily; and the offworlders who settled down and started to run mainly tourism-centered business. the niamos people, called avile, still ruled over the planet, having their own political organizations that excluded the newcomers. aviles allowed the offworlders to settle down in their certain parts of their lands only because that generated profit through taxes, but they weren't allowed to fully integrate in their society nor leave the permitted areas under any circumstances.

actually, the aviles allowed these settlements rather recently, after a series of revolts in the lower classes. in theory, their system was a democracy - in practice, only rich enough people could afford to become politicians, because there was no retribution for it. so, they decided to allow newcomers to settle in, with a tax, that would be used for the retribution of political positions. the more people started moving to niamos, the more new positions could get paid.

(quick colored sketch of a part of their territory - pardon the ugly af buildings but i hate drawing them)

when the initial wave of new politicians from the lower classes got into the system, they started turning the system into a full, direct democracy, reform by reform. most roles were assigned by casual drawing from a list of volunteers, and no one could keep their chair longer than a year in every position. but, after the initial wave of openness and inclusion, things changed.

initially, there weren't any laws on citizenship or access to politics. it wasn't explicitly said that offworlders couldn't partake in politics, so when they began taking interest in it, with political programs that addressed their needs and problems, the natives started to fear that their flourishing tourism business would change the political balance they had reached. many feared that, in the span of a few generations, the niamos would be governed by the interests of the tourist business, that attracted visitors (and their money) from many star systems.

so, they started to legislate. to be a niamos citizen, one had to be born in a family of niamos people, quite obviously. at first, children born of mixed parents weren't allowed citizenship, and weren't even really a thing. but as the offworlders areas grew larger, and more offworlders settled on niamos, some protests arose.

then, they had to change the legislation. they were a people with a strong and deeply felt culture - they decided to use it as a base to legislate further. the niamos had many rites and trials, and a complex language, called caile. one would become citizen only by successfully passing all the trials, partaking in all the rites, and fully learning the language.

the first trial was a long pilgrimage with a wooden boat (and an animal) to an island. this allowed the child (around 6-7 y.o.) to go to school, where they could learn the language. this first trial was easy for any "full" avilec child to pass, as they traveled around the various islands of their world on a daily basis. offworlders, however, were still confined into one section of a bigger island. this allowed only children who spent enough time sailing with their avilec parent to pass the test.

then, they would be allowed into a school that would teach them how to read and write. the school, though, only taught in avilec language - so, the children already had to speak caile at home, to be able to pass the tests at the end of the year. after that, it mostly got easier - one would study the niamos history, and was asked to partake in every smaller rite that tightened the community and better integrated the new members.

around 18, though, to become a legal adult, there was another trial (here, it granted access to vote and independence. then, as one got older, they'd have to pass a trial to be able to volunteer and be elected for each position - the age grew with the importance of the role, but the difficulty of the trials only decreased). it was a relatively simple trial: it was a boat pilgrimage around every island in the archipelago - something anyone could do.

but leptis failed it.

when he was around 14 years old, he went on a boat pilgrimage with his family to reach a sacred island in front of the offworlders' sector. there, a young sea monster who had lost its way attacked him. he clenched his big jaw on his body - the monster's mouth was big enough to cover his entire torso and get a good grip anyway. as his family panicked, from the shore, some tourists saw the scene and called for help, and help arrived in the form of medics on a speeder and an offworlder with a gun, who shot the beast, who immediately lost its grip on leptis.

the offworlders' hospitals, with special legislation, were open to everyone. it was the only thing the niamos paid a tax for, as they recognized that the offworlders' medicine was better than theirs for some things. they did mostly go to their old medics, but when that failed, they relied on those hospitals as well. knowing that no niamos medic could save their son, his parents allowed him to be taken away with the speeder.

in his parents' eyes, his survival was a miracle, and they accepted it without questions. instead, little leptis began wanting to know how he was saved. so he began studying medicine. he devoted himself to the subject. even as he ruined his connection to the rest of the community (he stopped partaking to the rites - he wasn't forced to go, as both his parents were aviles, and nobody thought a niamos would stop partaking in the rites, so there weren't any rules on that) he kept on studying.

when he turned 18, he had to leave his studies to complete the trial. he was doing well, as everyone always did, until he reached the spot where he was attacked. he never went back there since the incident. suddenly, he relived all of it again, and couldn't move anymore. he was paralyzed by the flashback, and trembled heavily as he realized that there was a wound the doctors hadn't healed. unable to continue, he failed the trial.

no avile had ever failed the trial, but the law seemed clear - he couldn't have access to politics, and wouldn't become an adult. he became an outcast - his peers continued their lives while he was forced out of it, forced to depend on his parents, forever. but mostly, he started to have trouble dealing with the incident like he never had. he was distressed and tense, and couldn't sleep properly. he went back to the medics, and they told him he had ptsd - and that they couldn't do much about it. that shocked him - they saved his organs from failing and stitched his broken body back together in ways that would seem impossible to comprehend, but they couldn't do nothing to heal his hurt brain?

so that became his research interest.