#queer stories deserve to be complicated

[thebluemoo]

I'm so tired. And Frustrated.

I'm tired of characters needing to be "in love" every time they love each other. Especially when the media goes out of the way to make it clear that they love each other without ever trying to define that as "in love". They love each other. That is just as valuable. That is Just as worthy. They can be partners without romance. They can be partners without sex.

They Can Be Partners Without Romance.

I am so Sick of not only the idea that for some god forsaken reason, Every single queer relationship needs to be labeled and categorizable to "count" as explicitly queer, but the idea that it needs to be romantic. The notion that characters and stories cannot be queer until you get to see a kiss or people are declared "boyfriends" or something else like that. We are Woefully shy of queer representation on the whole— I'm not saying you can't interpret media however you like. Do what you want.

But I am so sick of characters that Clearly mirror aromantic stories or stories about queerness that just don't focus on romance be called "not good enough" or "homophobic". Not every story is about romance. Not every partnership is romantic.

That doesn't make them not queer. That doesn't make them not important. I can promise you, those of us who don't or can't center romance in our lives? We Are living a queer experience. We are antithetical to amatonormative allonormative expectations for how life "should" be lead.

We get to see ourselves in those stories you're calling "not queer enough". Queerness is complex and weird and Fucking Queer. It's not an analog of straightness or cisness. We're not playing opposite to straightness or cisness. We're not operating in the same Framework— that's what makes us so goddamn queer. We aren't easily definable, and when we try to force ourselves to find one definitive way to be queer, we leave community behind.

So yes. We need more queer stories. We need more queer stories of all kinds that are messy and weird and romantic and aromantic and trans and ace and nonbinary and all over the place because every single story about queerness is going to be different. And that's good.

[uncanny-tranny]

You know, even if somebody was "turned queer" because of trauma, that is:

1. Not your business

2. Not something you should be interrogating them about, be you queer or otherwise (see point one)

Trauma is a deeply harrowing experience, and it's oftentimes something people don't want to share if they don't feel safe or comfortable. Creating environments where queer people have to both interrogate their queerness and defend themselves is simply hostile.

If somebody seemingly became queer after a traumatic event, what you do is support them. Likely the last thing that person needs is you barging in and demanding explanations and justifications before they're allowed to be queer and/or exist around you.

[marciliedonato]

Don't ask:

- a man, his salary

- A woman, her age

- And a tumblrina (gn) who they voted for in the nge/moomin poll....

[rs-junk-drawer]

happy pride to bigender people!

M/F bigender people F/X bigender people M/X bigender people X/X bigender people intersex bigender people bigender people who identify as trans bigender people who identify as cis bigender people who identify as neither xenogender bigender people nonbinary bigender people genderqueer bigender people bigender people of color bigender people whose identity is tied to cultural or religious traditions bigender people whose gender is tied to their disability or mental health disabled (of all kinds) bigender people bigender queer elders bigender people who are closeted bigender people who feel excluded from the queer/LGBTQ community we are often forgotten about in queer spaces - finding pride flags, pronoun pins, and the like can be extremely difficult, I can attest - and our complicated relationship with our gender & orientation is often under scrutiny in discourse. the bigender label has a long and storied history, and belongs within these spaces. happy pride month to my fellow bigender folks, we deserve a lovely june!

[dreamsteddie]

After the events of season four in a world where Vecna dies a minute earlier, Eddie lives, and Max gets away with a broken arm and some vision loss, Nancy and Steve start spending a lot of time together.

Everyone assumes that since Nancy and Johnathan broke it off not long after they reunited, having found themselves on different paths, the two of them were naturally drifting back together. Some of the kids are even betting among themselves on whether or not they're actually already back together and trying to keep in on the down low while everyone heals.

What really happened was that Nancy showed up on Steve's doorstep one day and asked if she could come in. She was nervous and it showed in the way she pinched her brow and rubbed her intex finger over her thumb nail but still made direct, almost aggressive eye contact with the man in front of her. Steve was worried that she was, indeed, here to confess which...wouldn't have been the worst thing, just not the right thing.

Instead what she says, directly and to the point despite her nerves, is that she's sorry if she led him on during their last time in the Upsidedown. She tells him that while she did feel a remnant of that old flame between them, it was ultimately a flicker in comparison to the forest fire of complicated emotions building up inside her for someone completely new. Someone completely unexpected. She looks genuinely mournful for having to tell him this, but all Steve can really feel is relief.

Steve had felt it too, and for a moment there it had really felt like their time had finally come. It felt like all the hurting and the fighting and the miscommunications and the missed chances were all leading them to this climactic moment during their last stand where they could begin their epic love story all over again. But then suddenly all he could think about between the blood and fear was eyes deep and dark like the forest floor after a long rain and the fleeting feeling of cool silver on his sore shoulders. He tells her that it's ok because he found someone new and unexpected too.

After that night they find a new kind of kinship that they always reached for but never could attain with all the history between them. They start meeting up as often as they can for late-night talks. Once Steve returns from his work at the shelter and visiting Eddie in the hospital and Nancy's parents come back to relieve her of babysitting duties while they help rebuild the town they meet at Steve's house. They avoid the back patio at all costs, instead deciding to set up lawn chairs out front to face the empty street, all of Steve's neighbors having fled with the first tremors.

They drink and talk for hours about all the mistakes they made, apologizing for all the ways they hurt each other in their youth in the days when they knew how to hurt but not how to heal. They talk about the life they could have had if things had been different. They talk about jobs and white picket fences and children and all the ways they would have been happy but not content. It should be awkward, and sad, and uncomfortable. And it is. But more than that it's cathartic, and by the end they are closer than they've ever been and fully ready to move onto the next phases of their lives as close friends.

They also spend quite a bit of time after the heaviest topics have run their course trying to help each other woo their respective crushes. Robin came out to the group not long after Will returned. She decided that it was time for her to claim the "most coveted of all Queer positions, Steve. The Queer Mentor!" and that being in the closet with their friends was antithetical to her cause. Steve argued that he was her first pupil already, but she claimed that his gay crisis was so minuscule that it hardly deserved the name. He came out a fully formed bisexual man. Steve wasn't 100% sure about Eddie, but there were enough rumors about him that he felt comfortable at least shooting his shot. Eddie was a good guy and he was so happy when Robin came to his room to share her coming out with him since he'd missed the bigger announcement.

All that is to say that they were both ready and willing to start pursuing their respective targets. They made game plans and tried to come up with date-but-not-really-a-date ideas for them to test the waters.

Meanwhile, Eddie and Robin both separately decide that they need to help push Nancy and Steve into the relationship everyone sees on the horizon. Steve is and always will be Robin's number one and she knows better than anybody how hung up he was on Nancy for literal years. She knows they hang out just the two of them and despite Steve dodging her attempts to figure out what it is they meet up about if they're not already together, she's pretty sure they're just taking things slow. The fact that her tummy feels all warm whenever Nancy Wheeler walks into the room is inconsequential to her far greater goal of Make Steve Happy. It sure would help if she would stop looking up at Robin from beneath her lashes like that though. Those eyes are killer.

Eddie, on the other hand, has felt some kind of way about Steve for the entirety of their not-quite acquaintance. It began with a sweet crush in grade school that developed into spiteful teenage lust and then back into a less sweet but much more robust crush following the not-so-end of the world. But all of those feelings are null and void in the face of the rapidly approaching epilogue of Steve and Nancy's epic si-fy/fantasy romance. He saw the way they looked at each other on their journey and he meant it when he said what Nancy had done jumping in that lake was a show of love. It feels almost poetic that he ended up doing the same thing, just a little too late to really matter. But despite the way Steve's visits seem to soothe the ache in his bones better than any opioid or cold compress, Eddie is going to do his damnedest to lead those two sheep in the right direction. It would be a heck of a lot easier if Steve could pick a shirt to wear in his own damn size, though. Those arms really were begging for release.

[pagesandpothos]

Hidden Gems of 2024

I read a lot of new releases in 2024 and many of those are really great books that have been getting a lot of well-deserved attention. There are a few however that I think deserve some more hype.

Here are a few underrated gems that I think deserve even more readers and much more praise. All of these are LGBTQIA+ and most are romantasy since that is what I enjoyed the most this year.

Sorcery and Small Magics by Maiga Doocy: As I've said many times, this is my favorite book of the year. If you love fantasy, queer slow burns, spells gone wrong, or the forced proximity trope then this is a must-read. There's no release date yet for book #2 but I'm hopeful we'll get a date soon! I can't wait to continue Leo and Grimm's story!

Running Close to the Wind by Alexandra Rowland: Alexandra Rowland is an author that most fans of queer books love, so this might be less of a "hidden gem" than some of the others on this list, but I'm still including it because I think it deserves even more attention. This is truly the funniest book I have ever read. I don't think I have ever had so much fun reading a book!

Shoestring Theory by Mariana Costa: This was one of the biggest surprises of the year for me. This is an excellent queer romantasy that has complex characters and relationships with an exciting time-travel plot. If you love complicated enemies-to-lovers stories, you should check this one out.

This Will Be Fun by E.B. Asher: is a sweet and funny cozy romantasy about a group of heroes who once saved their realm. Now, they're on a second mission after a decade of estrangement. This is a silly and fun time with two second-chance romances (one is sapphic). There's a great friendship storyline as well.

All The Hidden Paths by Foz Meadows: is a followup to the popular queer romantasy, A Strange and Stubborn Endurance. This is just as good as the first book with an exciting political plot, great development for Vel/Cae, and good new characters.

Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell: A delightful and dark fairytale that somehow manages to be both gruesome and feel like a cozy fantasy at the same time. There's a sapphic monster romance with an asexual human woman that is incredibly sweet.

The Crack at the Heart of Everything by Fiona Fenn: Is a terrific redemption story about two men who fought for the villain's side in a devastating war. Orpheus and Fenrir have an amazing rivals-to-lovers story that starts as a little comic relief and grows into something truly heartfelt. The world-building feels like a cool blend of high-fantasy, post-apocalyptic, Dystopia, and even horror. This is a unique and adventurous addition to the queer romantasy genre.

Spitting Gold by Carmella Lowkis: A historical mystery that focuses on two sisters with references to Charles Perrault's The Fairies. It's about the two siblings' complicated dynamic and how every story has two sides. There's also a Sapphic love story involving one of the sisters.

The Sins on Their Bones by Laura R. Samotin: A dark and queer fantasy based on Jewish mythology. The last half of this book is so riveting and shocking. I truly had no idea what would be happening next.

Key Lime Sky by Al Hess: is a sci-fi romance about a non-binary character who witnesses an alien invasion. The main character is memorable and the plot is delightfully weird and fun. The romance is fantastic, with a seriously charming and funny meet-cute.

[crepesuzette2023]

Hi! Because someone just asked me, I'd love you hear your Top 5 favourite McLennon fics!

You made my day! Nothing could have made me happier than this ask.

I'm not going to evade your question. I will post my top-five, even though it hurts to choose. But you inspired me to finally write a longer (okay: very long) post about some (not nearly all!) of my favorites, which will be under the cut.

(Sorry for not knowing every writer's tumblr, by the way. Please feel free to let me know, so I can tag authors where appropriate. Thank you!)

My Top 5:

MIRACLE WORKER by @scurator. What can I say. Every time I need my heart broken and to feel an inkling of what grace truly means, I go to this masterpiece about Paul and Robert Fraser finding each other again at Cavendish in 1981.

COAST STARLIGHT by bookofapril is "Miracle Worker's" cosmic twin. The sun to its night. Paul and Robert Fraser on Fire Island in 1974. Nothing I can say will do it justice, so I won't try. This is the "other world" conjured in "Tug of War," so powerfully and joyfully imagined, it's real. (I'm always thinking of this story, but I did so extra hard when I came across a prompt recently: 'They aren't each other's first love, but they're each other's true love'.)

SAME AS IT EVER WAS by RedheadAmongWolves. My favorite Outsider's POV. An ageing newsstand owner from Liverpool remembers John and Paul as boys and young men. There's something magical about the relationship coming alive in these glimpses. A story filled with tenderness that reminds me to always look closely.

AN ORGASM OF SOUND by @pauls1967moustache. The insanity of John and Paul in 1967 got the tribute it deserves. I sleep easier since I read this story. It feels cosmically right that it exists.

PLANT A SEED by @eveepe. Paul in his slutty sailor outfit in Miami. He and John are into each other, and happy, and fuck slowly. Afterwards, Paul has an idea for a new song. That's it. Tender, glorious, hot perfection. Apply at least once a week for best results.

For more thoughts about some of my favorite stories, sorted into very much defined-ad-hoc categories, read under the cut.

Young Love:

I love the myth of their first meeting, and stories that speculate about the sexually loaded creative fireworks/gritty jealousies/tentative hand-holding/topping and tailing during the first years. Here are some faves:

Paul finds music, and John, and his life is changing. In STREETS OF OUR TOWN (@with-eyes-closed) you can taste the upheaval and promise of first love and growing up. Deeply sensual, even without on-page sex. The shaky, sweet, and all-consuming fire of John and Paul’s first kiss is immortalized in ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY (RedheadAmongWolves). In NON NOBIS SOLUM (@downtothe-lastdrop), art student John simply has to know how far grammar school boy Paul will go to please him. But Paul matches him play-by-play. In THE CAST IRON SHORE (@m1ssunderstanding) Paul earns extra money through music and sex. John finds out. They fall in love, and hide their mutual pining behind transactions—but in the end, they man up to pair up, and get their band back on track. (The first part is finished; I can’t wait for part 2.) John and Paul’s ’61 trip to Paris has been honored in fiction many times; WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHING (@lilypadd23) is a slow-burning, blessedly long story that blossoms sweetly. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT is the concept by which Paul measures both his pining for John and their deeply satisfying (but surely not really queer?!) sex life. Perfectly realized Paul POV by @merseydreams. Finally: I NEED YOU DARLIN’ (verse) (by @beatlessideblog) would have fit many categories, but I put it here, because in the end, it’s about young John and Paul becoming friends, making music, having sex, and falling in love. No more, no less. Embedded in a late 50’s/early 60's Liverpool omegaverse in which there's a place for their bond. But, surprise (?!): It’s still complicated. I can’t overstate how charming and satisfying and funny and hot this work is.

Old John and Paul:

Is there anything as lovely as imagining John and Paul growing old together?

In HERE TODAY (@herspecialagent), John and Paul found happiness with each other in Scotland. On 8th December 1980, they invite friends for a party, and fight an inexplicable sense of doom. A reminder that our other lives can be closer than we think, and to keep our loved ones even closer.

GROW OLD WITH ME (@inherownwr1te): Old farmers and husbands John and Paul enjoy domestic bliss, deal with a broken arm, and make sweet love.

HAVING COFFEE (@feathersandblue): John Lennon and Paul McCartney, “one of the most iconic gay couples in history,” look back on their early love, the Beatles, and being outed in the 80’s, in this oh-so-glamourous, well-written 2020 portrait…

Magical re-tellings of J/P and/or the Beatles Story:

No matter where you come down on the blessed vs. cursed continuum—they were living through something magical.

In KISSING THE BLARNEY (@zilabee) the Beatles draw love and music from kissing Paul, and each other, until the stupid world interferes. But fear not, all ends well. How to tell the truth through whimsy: this story demonstrates it.

In WE ARE ALL TOGETHER (also by @zilabee), John and Paul switch bodies. It helps.

I WAS A YOUNGER MAN NOW (THEN) (POST HOC) BY @fingersfallingupwards: Paul is a time traveler and braids his life together with John’s, out of order, through the years. And yes, they do grow old together—but not without losing each other first. I’m in awe of this story.

A darker time-traveling story is A MATTER OF TIME (D12Fan), in which John and Paul love each other, over and over, and never manage to make it work—but Paul won’t give up.

FOR THOUGH THEY MAY BE PARTED (@downtothe-lastdrop): The misery of the 'Get Back' sessions and memory-stunting technology imported from “Severance” are not enough to kill off John and Paul’s attraction and longing for each other. Again, this is basically what happened, so.

John and Paul without the Beatles?

Yes, please! Sometimes, the best way to dissect and celebrate (and fix?) this mesmerizing and exasperating partnership is to lift it from its context and drop it elsewhere. Anything goes.

WHATEVER FATE DECREES by @dailyhowl: A gorgeous, finely spun, securely handled, self-contained vision of how John and Paul could have worked as artists in love, without a band to 'legitimize' and constrain their bond. I love this homage to their deep and complicated love that needed trust and breathing room.

1967 by @walkuntilthedaylight: What if John and Paul had gone to Spain together and not come back? This story not only explores their relationship layer by layer, it also dives into the the feelings of those who knew them 'before' and who now meet them again, as a couple. A fascinating alternate history. Not a fluffy one.

TOMORROW I'LL MISS YOU (@pauls1967moustache): Paul abandons John in Hamburg—or John stays behind without bothering to write, depending on who you ask. This "Before Sunset"—AU reunites them, years later. They ride a bus and write a song, and the love and tension are sweet and painful.

DOUBLE FANTASY (by @javelinbk): Modern AU in which John and Paul meet at John's flower shop and manage to ignore and creatively re-interpret their feelings for one another for a surprising amount of time, before fate has mercy. I love how their sweet, well-matched eccentricity makes the world a warmer place for both of them.

WE ARE STARDUST (Unchained_Daisychain): AU. John and Paul meet at Woodstock, fall hard and fast for each other, and have to decide what to do with it: Paul's life is back home in England...except...

Angst, darkness, and courage:

Pain, fear, grief, and other dark emotions are part of the real J/P story, so it makes sense to honor and harvest them in fiction. One of my favorite brands of McLennon angst is the one triggered by their feelings for each other, and the thing they become once they're together™. When they're scared of how much they need each other, and of what will happen next.

ONE AND ONE AND ONE IS THREE and MANAGING EXPECTATIONS (both by @pauls1967moustache), for instance. The first is a terrifying threesome with Yoko (at John's instigation, of course), in which trust is never rewarded and sex resolves nothing. The second is Paul wondering, in thoughts both messy and crystal clear, whether he exists independently of John. He turns to Brian for answers. They fuck. It feels like a human thing compared to what is going on in Paul's mind. Just astounding.

SUNDAY DRIVER (@boshemians) dives into the theme of Paul and John being afraid of themselves in the aftermath of Paul's accident (moped, sexual) with Tara Browne. This one, like "Managing Expectations," ends on a lovely grace note.

MACABRE (@dovetailjoints). Lennon and McCartney go too far.

OPEN HEART (@paisanas). Paul drinks John's blood. John lets him. But Paul starts to hate himself for how much he needs John, which John feels as rejection. I love how this story ends on Paul embracing his need. You can see the painful, bare bones of their malnourished love under the lush sensuality of the vampire sex. Raw and rich.

SILENCE (@ohjohnnysblog). Short and piercing. If there is someone you love—tell them. Don't wait.

THE LATE, GREAT JOHNNY ACE (@midchelle). Reeling with grief, Paul is recording an album in 1981. George and Ringo are there. John is not. But in the end—he is. And they touch. I've always admired Paul's resilience in the face of having to perform or "prove" his love of John in public, and this story showed me, without sugar-coating, where this resilience comes from.

Light, hope, and fixing things:

There is also much lightness and brightness in McLennon, because John and Paul were ridiculous, and horny, and weird. And also: they deserve a laugh. They deserve the fluffiest of happy endings. They deserve high-quality, life-affirming smut. They deserve silly, because silly is what they were. You know their names, look up their number.

1980. John is in BERMUDA (@scurator), Paul visits. Paul comes prepared, John just comes. Sometimes, it can be this simple. This story always leaves me in such a good mood. Paul is the (more) experienced one, and it...really works for me.

GOT TO GET DOWN (@eveepe): In praise of John's obsession with Paul's...precious. His small and perfect prick.

ADVENTURES IN TOTAL HONESTY (@merseydreams). Pithy and sexy, and, I quote from the tags: #Excessive Margarita Mixing.

ANINUT (@pauls1967moustache): The Beatles heal, together and separately, after Brian's death. Once more, I quote the writer: "The Beatles did not follow any of the Jewish mourning traditions, and frankly, they should have."

The unhinged weirdness of the Mad Day Out, with John and Paul escaping and Francie, Yoko and Mal not missing them...much, is rightfully celebrated in one of the insaner stories I read: JOHN, I'M ONLY DANCING (@skylikeaflame)

FAIR'S FAIR (@javelinbk): John and Paul are being silly during a press conference, resulting in acute arousal requiring John's skilled intervention. I love the unexpected care and tenderness in this one!

WHERE THE POETS WENT (RedheadAmongWolves): Tender and enchanted story in which Paul and John go to a bookstore, where they're not as famous as everywhere else. As delicate as the chiming doorbells and the pages murmuring around them.

TAKEN AWAY (@crumblingcookies) Extraterrestrial Intelligence intervenes to reunite John and Paul.

CAN I TAKE MY FRIEND TO BED? (manhattanvalleys). Paul fucks the band in sequence and gets off in the end, as is his due. This is a story like Prince's KISS. No filler, all effect.

THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY (@ohjohnnysblog). Warm and nostalgic phone sex in the 70's.

KEEP THE LIGHT WE'RE GIVEN (@backbenttulips). Amidst the rise of Beatlemania, Paul and John expect their first child. This is Paul's 1962 diary.

More Outsider POV's:

STILL MATES (@pauls1967moustache): in 1968, Peter Asher takes the leap to act on his feelings for his sister's spiraling ex fiancé. This isn't about Paul as much as about Peter, and who he wants to be. Gutting character study. It made me love Peter.

ANOTHER GIRL (@boshemians): Astrid reunites with the Beatles during the making of AHDN and registers their words and deeds with the same stark objectivity as her camera. I love how she seeks the shelter of obscurity while they are being dragged into the limelight. But she sees them, wherever they are. J/P in this story feels incredibly real to me.

WHY BUY THE COW (RedheadAmongWolves). The milkman sees everything on his early morning rounds: the arrival of a nice new family, the McCartneys, the mother's illness, the sadness after her death...and the arrival of a new love in the older son's life. He shouldn't approve—should say something, in fact. But a small inner voice holds him back.

SLEEPLESS IN WALES (thinkpink20). Mike overhears Paul and John whisper in bed. He doesn't understand everything they say. I do. Adorable.

Not each other's first love, but each other's true love

THIS YEAR'S FOR ME AND YOU (@skylikeaflame): After a long life, after deep and loving partnerships with other people, John and Paul, encouraged by their grown-up children, finally meet their mutual love head on. A festive story about waiting the perfect amount of time.

THERE ARE ALWAYS FLOWERS (tarenas): The Beatles are in the past; John and Paul's love is in ashes. Paul, who is fragile and bereft, lives with George, who is content. The four ex-Beatles unite for the second wedding of Mike McCartney. At times, the aching grief in this story is almost unbearable. But the love between George and Paul is unusual and real. This is unfinished. I'll keep waiting for the final chapter.

Beyond J/P

WANT ME WHEN I'M NOT THERE (@backbenttulips): Linda catches Paul cheating on her with John. She divorces him. Finally: a story that puts her most likely reaction front and center, with no mercy for the messed-up geniuses.

In the Rebecca-AU LOVE LIKE GHOSTS (@backbenttulips), Yoko becomes Mrs. Lennon. Soon, she discovers that her husband is haunted by the ghost of his first love. It's pleasing how well this re-telling matches the events as they (alas) (almost) happened. The ending is chilling. Genuinely horrifying. I love seeing Yoko as the sensible one and as the focus of empathy.

THE BASS LESSON (@aquarianshift). Paul and Stu fool around without letting go of their mutual resentment for even a moment. And it works. "Let's never do this again." I don't think so.

TELL ME ALL MY LOVE'S IN VAIN (@midchelle). Forget about quote unquote platonically obsessed male rock stars: This about about Maureen and Patti through the years. The web weaving continues.

SPOTLIGHT ON JOHN AND STU (@dailyhowl) A love story in letters—too brief, like Stu's life, but sounding as if the writer transcribed their dictation. Some of the best descriptions of what it must have been like to play on stage with the Beatles during the mania are in NO I IN THREESOME (@with-eyes-closed). George finds himself in the beam of attention between John and Paul, and nearly loses his mind. But he's determined to stay and become part of them. Paul is daddy and "fucks like music" as seen through George's eyes. The whole story is vicious and hot and uncomfortable—until there's the love and quiet at the eye of the storm.

Not for the faint of heart! WHAT THE CIGGIE CARTON SAW (@waveofhand): Paul McCartney having his way with cigarettes.

This is getting out of hand...but I'll stop here. There are so many more stories I love. And I can think of many other categories that would deserve their own post.

So, who knows: To be continued?

[goodluckclove]

Some Loose Thoughts on Queer Rep (Specifically Aspec Rep)

(Just in advance I'm going to dunk on Alastor from Hazbin Hotel like a lil' bit, as a treat. Mainly the team that made him and what he represents, but still. If that's rage bait for you, I suggest maybe dipping out now)

I have a theory that queer media needs both queer characters and queer genre characters. The difference is very important.

I think a queer character would be a character in a story about their queerness. For some reason the only two characters I could think of are the guy from Love, Simon (What was his name again?) and the protagonist from Rubyfruit Jungle, which should express the weird and complicated relationship I have with this particular archetype.

Queer stories centered around queerness are definitely needed, but at the same time I feel like we're just starting to come to terms with the desperate need for the alternative, which are queer characters in genre media that contain overarching plots larger than their sexuality. Not separate, necessarily (Their queerness certainly influences things), but just beyond. This is more accessible for a variety of artists, which is also the reason why it can be a flop or a massive success.

We get more of this than ever for gay and sapphic characters, as well as some trans folks and occasionally non-binary. It's definitely way less seen in aspec characters, and even less respected. I started thinking this way because the internet is flooded with references to fucking Alastor from Hazbin Hotel as an aroace character and - like - god, I don't get it.

Like you can have your serial killer comfort character, that's fine. But latching onto him as representation for the entire aspec community when he was only confirmed to be aroace through a reference in a livestream and the weakest joke onscreen is pretty disheartening. It definitely reads like this part of his identity was added pretty late in his character development, and by a team of people that didn't seem to consider what the response and reaction would be and how they'd handle it.

I also wish the newest aspec icon in media wasn't created by a team so adamant on encouraging shipping culture above actually respecting the identity they've decided to provide representation for. Like I see it means a lot to people to have an aroace character doing something cool in a fun TV show that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their identity. Then there's like four other people right behind that person who really wants that person to be romantic and fuck.

And like, yeah, aroace people can do that sometimes. It's a spectrum, I know. But can't we start with a baseline representation before providing proof of fluidity?

I just think we deserve better. Like a character who in the media is established to be aspec, and people are like "great" and move on to fight robots or do magic or whatever. And the person can be morally grey, or even a total dick, but like I'd personally prefer something with a little more depth than Hot Topic genericism.

Like don't get me wrong, I'll take some sort of eldritch horror as my representation, but...make him at all horrifying? Like everyone talks about how he has Eldritch powers, which I know to mean unfathomable and maddening. But I've seen everything he does in the canon of the show and it is both incredibly fathomable and makes me feel normal and sane. Yog-Sothoth this man is not.

But yeah, I don't think there's a solution here besides more aspec artists creating aspec characters in their work. That way people can still like Alastor if they want, but he's not like the only viable option in terms of representation in the media. Let me see lovingly-crafted cool guys and dipshits and chaos goblins and little babies and True Horrors, all of whom have varying degrees of distaste or indifference towards sex and romance.

Do it. We need it. Please.

[shinjiikar1]

Once again I have so many thoughts about these episodes... i was sort of dreading watching them because i wasn't totally recovered from last week, but I ended up watching it in one sitting (with a lot of breaks to pace around and calm down lol), I really want to give this show the space and thought it deserves, it's just too good for me to watch any other way...

I'm going to make another post with my Extensive thoughts about Go Young and Young Soo, but I wanted to answer some of the questions this week first.

The first part of the story paired the relationships with Choi Mi Ae and Kim Nam Gyu. Why do you believe this section paired Yeong’s relationships with Yeom Eun Suk (Umma) and No Yeong Su (Hyung)?

I think this section really emphasized various relationships to homosexuality, particularly how it intersects with Christianity.

Both characters are homophobic (internalized or otherwise), and enact this homophobia on Go Young, but represent different aspects of how it can manifest. Umma (in the present) is willfully blind, she pressures Go Young about marriage, she sees the picture but doesn't comment, she keeps his books at her bedside and takes newspaper clippings but won't read them and she's relieved when she doesn't have to meet Young Soo. She's avoiding reality as much as she can, it seems by the end she's realized there's nothing she can do to change her son, but she wants to keep pretending that it isn't really real (an attitude I find a lot of staunchly Christian households have).

Young Soo on the other hand is reactionary and anxious. He panics and lashes out whenever Go Young does or suggests something he considers "too gay". When his senior infers he might be, he freezes and then later blows up at Go Young. He's at war with himself, and he cruelly redirects that internal conflict back onto other queer people.

Crucially, both approaches harm Go Young. He lacks acceptance and understanding from his mother as she denies a vital part from him, and he is insulted and berated by his partner because of his comfort and pride in his identity.

With the drama feeling like more of a continuous story rather than four distinct vignettes, how does the connectivity to previous characters adjust the experience with the story?

I have to say I really love the way the T-aras have been included in the show. I can't really speak on how it's adjusted the experience, but to see their continual presence in Go Young's life makes him feel just slightly less isolated and gives the audience familiar ground to stand on. When they appear at the hospital, it feels incredibly meaningful because we've seen them from the start.

While their connection with Go Young isn't as deep as some of the other characters, I think they represent a very important type of relationship. They aren't complicated, they don't insert themselves overly into each other's lives, they share some problems, but never push. I think that's why Go Young doesn't push them away, they don't have as much capacity to cause him deep and lasting harm, but they provide a source of comfort and camaraderie in a life that is otherwise isolated. Not every friendship needs to be incredibly deep and overwhelming, it's important to have friends who can provide a distraction from your problems, and a different perspective on your life. And they clearly do love and care for him, their concern at the bar and presence at the hospital show that. Just because they're not sitting down for deep philosophical chats or sharing all their trauma doesn't mean they're not good friends.

In the last section, Yeong’s experiences with Mi Ae and Nam Gyu reflected the difficult ways heteronormativity impacts queer life. How did this section highlight sources and expressions of internalized homophobia?

It's really no wonder Young Soo is homophobic given the type of people in his life and his lack of connection (intentional or otherwise) to the queer community. He views gay people in a very stereotypical and simple fashion, and on some level probably thinks he's above them because he doesn't engage in some of their more "barbarous" activities. It almost seems like he's constantly doing penance for being gay, he has to live this austere life to offset it.

After seeing Yeong's journey with these first four meaningful relationships, where are you emotionally as we head into the section with Gyu-ho?

STRESSED. I love this show Dearly, and I'm looking forward to watching more, but also I know it's going to make me cry. Especially because I know some vague spoilers (oops).

This week was such a roller coaster, but I'm enjoying the ride. I also really want to point out how well LITBC uses music, picking a specific piece to underscore each section and tie each pairing of characters together is so smart and really speaks to the level of care put into every aspect.

[onebizarrekai]

so everyone is begging for lore… so um do we have finch lore 😿🙏🏽

unfortunately I don't have anything specific on him in fatal flaws yet :/

I have no idea if I have any posts about his ds backstory, but I'm not a huge fan of what it turned out to be. it's pretty bare bones, and it feels like one of those "being queer is the only notable element of their tragic backstory" things. which is super ironic, considering his backstory should be full of war trauma. it was meant to shape him as a JR supporter, but it just sort of stopped there. so basically, his backstory was that he came from another 'real world ish" timeline, but in like the 1940s, so his upbringing was chock full of war propaganda. he wanted to join the army, but obviously they wouldn't let him because of his birth sex, and JR had to swoop in and like, 'save him', get him HRT and let him be a soldier in their own military. but the thing is, aside from finch mysteriously losing his eye and testing a prototype prosthetic, there isn't any data.

to be honest, most of this isn't even in my own notes; I think this was all written somewhere in a discord server that got deleted. that aside, there's not much of anything. basically, this guy grew up in WW2 hell as a trans person of color, and that's about it. and none of the story planning even mentioned him being a person of color which would make it even more complicated for him. he probably deserves a lot more detail to his story, he should have a specific story for how he got his injury, why he wanted to join the army in the first place, what gender he tried to present as back then, whether he already knew he wanted to be a man, where he lived, what kind of friends he had. it's just… not on the forefront of my mind. I think I'll take it slow trying to figure it out.

[sophsicle]

genuine question here, why did you decide to make Mary a Muslim and a lesbian? Don’t u think that’s disrespectful?

well, i suppose you're making the assumption that there are no muslims who are queer, or that muslims who are queer are being disrespectful by existing, and holding the beliefs that they do, and being from the cultures that they are. i don't, personally, think either of those things are true.

genuine answer? i made mary a lesbian and a muslim, because i know muslims who are lesbians. and i was thinking about how funny and badass they are, and how much they suit who mary is in my head. and i was also thinking about the reasons that fanfiction is so meaningful, and partially i think that's because it gives a lot of us the representation we don't get to see anywhere else, and i wanted those women in my life (or more specifically other people like them) to have a place in this space.

i do understand that this is, in many ways, a very complicated and sensitive topic. so i tried very hard not to be disrespectful. i also understand that to some people queerness in this context is inherently disrespectful. but queer muslims exist and deserve to have stories written about them. and this is a hill i will die on.

so. yeah :)

[noodle-made-a-mistake]

A short list of things that bother me about the Magisterium canon:

Forgive me in advance for rambling, I have to get these thoughts out of my brain lmao (also it's been a couple years so correct me if I'm wrong! (I really hope I’m wrong on some of these :’) )) Spoilers ahead obviously!

● The lack of Calron :(

● Not taking the opportunity to develop Tamara's character and keeping her static until she's randomly just different. Strong female characters aren't just skilled and perfect until their one flaw (usually it's having feelings like any other human being) is revealed shockingly (that's just sloppy characterization), they should be crucial to the plot and not overlooked in favor of developing other characters (from what I remember she literally was my favorite while reading the series until she just got annoying (??) after a while, of course that could just be because the story is told through Call's perspective but still)

● The entire school system that I need more info on bc it sounds so unthought out and not like something that has existed for hundreds of years

● The forceful nature of making people serve as masters?? That makes no sense? Like, “Congratulations on not dying during your schooling or in the war(s), your prize is forced labor 👍.”

● Also THE COLLEGIUM WAS MENTIONED AND NEVER ELABORATED UPON

● TGT. Least favorite book. Get out. Tgt truthers how do you do it??

● The Maugris plot twist. It destroys the meaning behind the past four books. It's just so uncalled for and frankly just sloppy ig? I love the idea in a way, but only if it's foreshadowed from the beginning. Also I'm too attached to the complicated dynamic of Alastair raising his possible ex-bestie for it to end up like that

● The fact that the iron trio is out of school for half the series, I'd like to know what's normal, y'know??

● THE LACK OF ELABORATION ABOUT THE FIRST GEN I WANT TO KNOW MORE I HAVE TO KNOW MORE

● They did my man Constantine especially wrong, give him some ✨️character✨️ aside from E V I L and problematic (trademark) and charming (???)

● AND ALASTAIR GOD TELL ME MORE?? He's characterized as distant and obviously traumatized with his hate of his magic involved past but I just need to know what that past was like. Like who was he before his dead wife syndrome?? Idk but I'd of liked any excuse to know more about it just so I can understand him more??

● Please give me a single character trait of Declan's?? Like he was mentioned a handful of times and that's all we got. He was just some guy and I am hating it !!

● And Sarah. Like. She was a mom and liked peace as a concept but she also made a cool ass knife. That's a lot of things left up for interpretation. And I know Call wasn’t allowed to ask questions for plot reasons but god i wish he had more information about his own dead mother for Christ's sake

● Also other than a victim, who was Jericho? I need to know who this kid who drew scribbles in the margins of his very important journal while writing about how he was slowly being killed was. What was his relationship really like with his brother if he was so scared to say that he was dying or what gave him the impression that he didn't care?? It's fascinating and I need him under a microscope immediately

● Also the lack of queer representation until the last two books. AND THEN IT WASN'T EVEN ANY OF OUR MAIN CAST. Literally the saddest L ever :(

● AND AARON WAS NEVER CONFIRMED QUEER LIKE WHAT THE FUCK JUST L O O K AT HIS CHARACTER AND INFACT ALL OF OUR CORE CAST IS AT LEAST BI LIKE C O M E O N (ik they're like kids but even I knew I was not straight when I was like 11 and i lived in the most conservative non-LGBTQ-friendly town known to man)

● Low key, callmara was so bad, like I love them but not the way it happened, horrible set up. Tamara deserved so much better and to not have her entire character destroyed by becoming a love interest. I wish they thought about her as an independent character instead of the means to implement a romantic subplot in tgt, they did so good in the first books with that

● Also there's no elaboration on what chaos is. It's the mystical 5th element. Wow! Let's go girl, give us nothing! You'd think that if Makaris were so exceptionally rare and special that we'd get some explanation on how they come to be and what it is exactly that they can control but we're just left to assume it's the special "chosen one" type of thing. Idk it bothers me for some reason :/

That's just off the top of my head and it's been years since I read the series all the way through (I should do a reread soon). For the most part I adore this funky series and I hate to bash it but I felt the need to ramble about it's shortcomings because I'm not crazy, right?? It had so much potential! Anyway, I'm sort of glad for the blanks in the story despite complaining about them because it leaves room for fics and fan interpretations that I always love to see, but on the other hand, I'd like for the story to feel finished and not like a last minute science fair project.

Thanks for sticking around for my late night rambling lmao

[1dfanficbookclub]

Pride Month Fic Recs!

We hope you guys had a wonderful Pride Month this year! Here is a selection of pride fics recommended to us by our lovely members and the lovely people of tumblr and twitter.

Coloured text used to show the reasons that people submitted these fics. We also gave them the option to add their names and usernames if they wanted.

~ Our Post On Twitter ~

✩ Submitted by our lovely members ✩

California Sold by isthatyoularry / @isthatyoularry Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Mature | 123k | Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever. A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends. Demisexuality Representation Fic Post

love is a word (you gave it a name) by CuckooTrooke / @larrydoinglaundry Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 158.8k | Internalized Homophobia, Closeted Louis Tomlinson, Genderfluid Harry Styles, Gender Euphoria, Age Difference

After two decades in brutal show business, Louis Tomlinson is trying to restore his tranquility of mind in the peace of Northern Europe where the sun barely sets, Maria's bar is always open, and young Harry has an irresistible spark in his eyes. I love how it explores both Louis' journey with his sexuality and Harry's journey with his gender identity. It made me comforted to hear the journey that Harry had in terms of gender and it made me feel more comfortable in my own journey with my gender - Ash

✩ Submitted by the lovely people of tumblr and twitter ✩

Wouldn't It Be Nice by pinkskies Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Mature | 36.6k | Trans Harry, Asexual Louis, College AU

Louis goes to pride for the first time and meets a trans girl named Harry, who goes a little too hard and crashes on Louis' sofa for the night. When he wakes up, she's gone, and Louis doesn't expect to ever see her again. Except he does. Alternatively: Louis gets a job at a diner to pay for college, doesn't have a clue how to tell his parents that he's asexual, and is almost positive Harry keeps accidentally running into him on purpose. It's a very cute story, I really like how Harry and Louis are portrayed and I feel it really centers around the idea of pride. Both explicitly taking place at a pride event to start and implicitly just through the characters' relationships with their identities.

The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by SpeakingWithInk Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Not Rated | 13.2k | Asexual characters, cute meeting, strangers to lovers

Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, 'and I'm ace.' If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle. There's both Louis and Harry being ace, and it's a cute fic - Nevecath

you came into my life by disgruntledkittenface / @disgruntledkittenface Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Mature | 57.1k | American AU, Queer Eye AU, firefighters, coming out, implied homophobia, coworkers to lovers

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis' small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworked Liam, Louis' carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears - and the only guy he's ever been able to see a future with. It's a wonderful exploration of becoming comfortable with yourself and being supported as you do. Fantastic characterization and so much joy and comfort. Fic Post

Take the Middle Path by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 2.5k | established poly relationship, identity exploration, sexual exploration, Dom/sub, light angst

Harry's desires are plentiful and complicated in a way that's always worried and confused him. Being with Louis and Zayn helps him explore the seemingly disparate aspects of who he is and what he wants, and to realize he doesn't have to choose just one. I just really love Harry's exploration of his desires and his identity and the way his beautifully supportive polyamorous relationship helps him find joy in his complicated self. Fic Post

Fics from the 1D Pride Fest! Submitted by @beyondxmeasure

Paint a Rainbow Inside My Heart by cyantific Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Teen and Up Audiences | 22.4k 5+1, solo artist and actor Harry, my policeman, gender identity, questioning gender with both good and bad sides of it, closested harry, coming out

A story about hiding in plain sight and the journey to revealing your truth, told in six acts. Or, the five times Harry queer coded with actions, behaviours or clothing and the one time he was too proud to hide anymore. A 5+1 fic.

somewhere in between and not at all by me_her_themoon | @greeneyesfriedrice Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 24.5k | Gender Identity, Trans Character, Genderfluid Character, Gender Exploration, Supportive Relationship

He's always known that he's some sort of queer. There's no doubt about it. When he was younger, he loved the feeling of his sister's pantyhose on his legs, and loved to play dress up whenever he could. But it never went any further than that, and as he got older, he hid that part from himself. There were more homophobes than not in his school, and he couldn't risk anything getting out. While he was hoping that he would become more involved in the gay scene, he wasn't expecting it to happen so immediately. He's barely been in NYC for two days, and he's now surrounded by all different types of men and...others? God, he isn't even sure what to call them. He really doesn't know much. (or, Harry is new to NYC and discovers something about himself, and Louis is there for him. Always.) Fic Post

you made my heart stop by dragmedown / @itsnothesameasitwas Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | General Audiences | 6.1k | Inspired by Heartstopper, High School Coming Out, Homophobic Language

Don't you ever feel like your life has been perfectly composed until one day it wasn't, that everything seemed more than fine but it was not, because sometimes as simple as it might sound or look, it could change your life? OR a Heartstopper AU, but in HarryandLouis Universe. Fic Post

Inner Crisis by Neondiamond / @neondiamond Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | General Audiences | 5.5k | Asexuality, Asexual Harry Styles, Asexual Louis Tomlinson, Hotline Operator Harry Styles

Louis calls an LGBTQ+ crisis hotline after coming out as asexual to his friends and family doesn't quite go as well as he'd hoped. Harry answers his call. Fic Post

Ask Him by LinksLipsSinkShips Lewis Capaldi/Niall Horan | Teen and Up Audiences | 2.2k | Secret Relationship, Coming Out

When Lewis Capaldi gets pressed for information on who he's dating, he admits it... he's been seeing Niall Horan. The only problem? He jokes so much that no one believes him.

The Magnificent Ms. Malik: A Brand New Era Starts Here by PigSlay Niall Horan & Zayn Malik | General Audiences | 2.1k | Trans Female Character, Transitioning, Self-Discovery, Friendship

In 2013, 1D records the Best Song Ever music video and Zayn feels different after he puts on his Veronica outfit. He doesn't know what to do with these feelings or what they mean; luckily Niall is there to help and gives Zayn a new word that opens up a world of previously unimagined possibilities. Ten years later, in 2023, she calls Niall up again to tell him her knew name.

Hold Me Tight (Or Don't) by @hellolovers13 Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 13.6k | Trans Harry Styles, Famous Louis Tomlinson, Misunderstandings

Falling in love with Louis is easy enough. Separating Louis from the singer persona Harry has been a fan of for years, however, is not. But she's not the only one making assumptions. Fic Post

Thanks to everyone who submitted fics for our masterpost! Happy reading!

[deramin2]

Queer (2024) is going to be one of those litmus test movies that helps me easily identify queer people who I find interesting or annoyingly reductive based on their reactions to it. It's an incredibly complex but very real depiction of historical queerness that flies in the face of purity culture.

"Flying in the face of purity culture" is the entire point of the Beat Generation. It was founded by the messiest queer men in the US and they had to defended it's publication in literal obscenity trials for daring to describe their own lives or their friends as they truly were.

The novella is loosely based in Burroughs own life and if you know his bio several intense things represent the most traumatic things that happened in his life. He wasn't a great guy and he knew that.

His relationship to queerness in also incredibly complicated. What he says and does are very different. Both Burroughs and Lee are unreliable narrators of their own lives and also living their truth.

It's an overtly homosexual story about men who don't define themselves as queer. Which is either an invitation to explore his and other Beat writers relationships to homosexuality/queerness in a deeply homophobic world that alienated them from everyone and themselves, or it's a grating contradiction that refuses to label itself properly for easy consumption and moralizing.

The "moral" point of Lee (if there is one) is that he's not someone to emulate. To live a good life do the opposite of what he's doing. He knows that, too. But he still deserves to have his perspective recorded, shared, and understood in the record of humanity. He is tragically human.

[avonlady42]

2024 in Review

After getting a taste of my first bang last year, I may have went a little overboard this year. I posted 15 fics this year, most of which were part of a bang or a gift.

Yes, Master Dmitri

This was my first attempt at BDSM and I was honored to be able to add an art piece from @hawkland as part of the Ficfacer$ charity auction.

Summary:

Dean Winchester thought he had the perfect life until his world changes when his wife Lisa gives birth, and a complication arises that claims her life. Dean grieves while trying to raise his son, Ben, as a single parent and his brother convinces him to get out of the house for some time alone. He stumbles across Purgatory, a club that takes him into the world of BDSM and becomes a sub to a Russian Dom named Dmitri. He keeps his new life secret from his family and frequents the club for five years, trying his best not to fall in love with his dom.

Castiel Novak lived a simple life and thought he would be married by the time he reached 35, but had not found the man of his dreams yet. He taught kindergarten during the day, but by night, he was the most popular dom at Purgatory where he carried the persona of a Russian named Dmitri with an accent to go with it. For five years he has a regular sub named Michael and he tries his hardest not to fall for the man, but he can picture a future with him.

Then one day, five years after Michael and Dmitri meet, Dean walks into Castiel’s classroom as his son starts his first day of Kindergarten and everything suddenly changes for both men.

An Unexpected Encounter

My submission for the 2024 round of DCRB. I was able to claim artwork by @aceriee-art which can be found embedded in the fic.

Summary:

Dean became Sam’s guardian at the age of 18 when their parents died in a car crash. Feeling responsible for his brother becoming an orphan, Dean works two jobs to save for college and he frequents the local gay bar for the occasional one-night stand, feeling as though he doesn’t deserve a relationship. When he hooks up with and then ghosts Castiel, not feeling worthy of him and needing to be there for his brother, he has no idea that he would end up running into Castiel at Sam’s parent-teacher conference. That’s what happens though when you unknowingly hook up with your brother’s English teacher.

A Hunter and his Machete

This was a result of a prompt in the Profound Bond Discord Server

Summary:

Dean had forgotten all about his high school friend since he had lost touch with him over the years, so imagine his surprise when he gets a message from him that Dean left a machete at his house. He didn’t even know that Castiel knew about his secret life of hunting the supernatural. Either he doesn’t care or he’s a psycho because honestly who would be so carefree about letting a guy know that he left a machete at your house.

Anal Sex, 101

Just a fun fic I felt like writing for no reason at all.

Summary:

Dean was 30 years old and thought going back to school would be a good idea to give him an edge trying to navigate his uncle’s business. Unfortunately, he hadn’t realized how expensive college would be. Barely scraping by to make ends meet, he comes across an ad on the university's bulletin board looking for queer men to assist one of the professors and it offers payment. Dean isn’t completely out in the open about his sexuality, but he decides to answer the ad anyway and finds himself becoming the assistant for the instructor who teaches the online erotocism class. The guy is lucky he’s hot or Dean would have turned tail and ran the moment he realized what he had gotten himself into.

Addicted To You

This was my submission for the 5Kby5May fest this year. It was more difficult than one might think to write a story and keep it under 5K. I've written shorter stories before, but it's somehow different when you know you can't go over 5K.

Summary:

The Mark of Cain is pushing Dean further and further away from his humanity, but when Castiel heals him after a hunt and the angel’s grace silences the Mark, Dean knows he has to have more. He just hopes Castiel will give it willingly, especially when it’s more than the angel’s grace that Dean is craving.

Show Me Some Respect

This one was written as a timestamp for my Gay Chicken fic which is still to date my most read, kudo'd, and commented on fic. I had so much fun writing the gay chicken story based on the popular meme and when someone had suggested a timestamp in the comments maybe exploring them trying BDSM again, I couldn't resist and finally had time to write it.

Summary:

The B&B is in need of repairs after the roof collapses and Dean and Castiel have time to kill while they are temporarily closed. Castiel has the brilliant idea of giving BDSM another try. He just forgot to completely read the instruction manual first.

Not Just Chemistry

The idea for this story popped into my head when I had seen videos of Jensen and Misha at conventions just being absolutely unhinged, so I turned that thought into a Destiel fic and came up with this idea that what if it was all fake and they are only pretending to be friends for publicity.

Summary:

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are the stars of hit t.v. show Not Natural. They play husbands, Michael and Jimmy who are hunters of the Supernatural and they are number one in the nation. They have amazing chemistry, and their fans love them. They light up the room at every convention they attend for their fans and there are even rumors they are together in real life. The only problem is they can’t stand each other and it’s all an act for publicity. The people who are in on the secret don’t understand how two people who have such great chemistry on and off camera can dislike each other so much. The question is, will they be able to get Dean and Cas to see that they are actually in love with each other or will they continue to be stubborn.

Make A Wish

This fic was the first in many of my new obsession with joining bangs. It was my entry for the 2024 round of the Dadstiel Mini Bang. I've had this story in my prompt list for awhile now and I had been thinking a lot of my mom this year who passed away from pancreatic cancer 12 years ago, so some of my writing this year reflects on my emotions of missing her. Even though she didn't have a happy ending, this story does. I was also thrilled that I got to work with @seidenapfel for this who did some amazing art which is embedded in the fic.

Summary:

Castiel Novak’s son, Jack, is battling with a leukemia diagnosis and the only chance he has of recovering isn’t covered by insurance and Castiel is out of options to save him. With all hope lost he reaches out to the Make A Wish foundation to fulfill his son’s wish of meeting his favorite actor, Dean Winchester, who plays Batman. Then, an anonymous donation for Jack to be placed into the clinical trial to cure his leukemia is made and he ends up pulling through. Castiel will forever be indebted to this kind stranger who gave him the gift of his son back, even if he might never be able to discover who it is.

The Stakes Are High

My submission for the 2024 round of the Taylor Swift Bang. The song I based the story off of was Ours. It was the end of the music video that put the idea in my head. I may or may not have used my own experience going through basic training in the story. I was paired with @mellow-memuries who's lovely artwork can be found embedded in the story.

Summary:

Dean has served in the Army for the past 10 years and is in his 2nd year of a 2 year detail as a Drill Sergeant. He loves what he does; the only problem is that he’s gay, and the military has a strict Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy. He’s able to keep his life secret until the guy he had sex with in the bathroom of a gay club a couple weeks back ends up being in the next class of his recruits. Unable to hide the attraction they have for each other, they forge a secret 10 year relationship until the Policy is lifted and they can finally live their truth in the open.

Risk It All

This is my story for the 2024 round of the Destiel Soulmate Bang. I've never written a soulmate story before, so this was a fun one to do. I had the pleasure of having my story come to life with the beautiful artwork from @thence-we-came-forth. You can see the artwork embedded in the fic.

Summary:

Dean is a skeptic when it comes to soulmates. Everyone he knows lost theirs in a tragic accident and he can’t risk the same thing happening to him. It’s better to be lonely than to have the love of your life ripped from you and be doomed to live a sad existence for the rest of your life anyway.

Castiel doesn’t put much stock into soulmates since everyone in his family has divorced theirs. What’s the point in finding the one you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with if they are just going to leave you anyway?

When Dean and Castiel meet, they fall in love at first sight, but can they both move past their issues in order to be with each other or will they continue to fight against their desires in order to protect their hearts?

Vacation Interrupted

I wasn't fast enough to claim a story for this year's Horrorfest Bang which was a reverse bang and was working on a fic without art. Then, I got lucky and was able to be a pinch hitter for one of @thestarsmakemedream-art's pieces which was on my original list that I tried to claim. This was a joy to work on and the art is embedded in the story for your viewing pleasure.

Summary:

Dean can’t remember the last time he took a vacation. Fighting monsters is basically all he’s ever known. They’ve defeated Chuck and Dean finally grew a pair and confessed his feelings and Cas reciprocated. The two of them, along with Sam and Eileen, decide to dip their toes in the sand and take a vacation since the world is relatively monster free. Or at least they thought it was until a Kraken decided to ruin their vacation and start killing people, almost taking Dean for its next victim if Castiel didn’t rescue him in time. So much for a relaxing vacation.

Eye of the Beholder

This year's BangBang was a reverse bang and I was able to claim a beautiful piece of art by @szlez. I had originally planned on a shorter fic, but just thinking of Dean in lingerie had my mind going wild and the artwork can be found embedded in the fic. I am just in awe of how beautiful it is.

Summary:

Castiel couldn’t get the vision of Dean in silky panties out of his head. He makes a trip to a lingerie store to buy Dean a gift but doesn't count on the hunter being so shy about showing Castiel how gorgeous he truly is. Castiel won’t have the man he loves being unsure of his own body, so the angel is happy to show the hunter just how much his body deserves to be treasured.

I'm Not Living Here Without You

This was my entry for the 2024 round of DCBB. This is a story involving cancer with a happy ending, so please mind the tags before reading. I chose the title as kind of a play on words from when Dean tells Cas in Purgatory that he's not leaving there without him. I love the artwork @twinone1221 provided for my story. She captured beautifully what I was writing in the story. You can find her art embedded in the fic.

Summary:

Castiel promised Dean that they would be together forever. They met when they were just kids and they were each other’s first everything. They are happy and have an unbreakable bond that makes them the envy of everyone around them. Everything changes 15 years into their marriage when Castiel is diagnosed with cancer and the doctors aren’t very hopeful that the treatments will work. Dean is crushed and spends a lot of time in denial while trying to find a cure for his husband. Castiel knows that his dying will destroy Dean, so he fights as hard as he can to stay alive for his husband’s sake.

Ugly Sweater Conspiracy

This was a story written for the FicFacer$ charity auction through random acts. Susan was the winning bid and her prompt was a meet cute involving ugly sweaters.

Summary:

Castiel and Dean end up at the same holiday festival wearing the same Ugly Sweater after some miscommunication by their friends, Charlie and Gabriel. They end up becoming friends and develop feelings for each other, and they have Charlie and Gabriel to thank for their newfound romance.

The King and His Prince

This was my last story written this year and was part of a SPN Season Six Gift Exchange that took place during The Man Who Would Be King episode.

Summary:

Castiel is trying to open the gates of Purgatory and Dean promises to do whatever it takes to stop him. The angel is pleased to learn it involves his hands tied behind his back.

I have many more stories waiting in the wings for next year, so please subscribe to me on AO3 if you want to see what I post next.

#my fics #destiel #Dean #Cas #AO3

[sarahreesbrennan]

Hi Sarah, I'm so excited to see your upcoming release. (Villainess deserve representation too!) I was rereading Love From Both Sides for the dozenth time - as one does - and I was wondering if you had any plans for a spin off with Adara and Natalie? Their story has so many uncharted possibilities, I'm dying to know more. And relatedly, we're gasping out here for more sapphic media that goes as hard as your work does 🥺

I'm sorry if this has been asked and answered before, I couldn't find anything in your archives. Thanks again for writing In Other Lands, a precious and rare delight. I hope you're having the bestest day with at least one friendly nuzzle from a puppy

Hey my love, Never be sorry for asking anything! This world is bettered by the questioners, and it’s a great compliment to me that you care.

As regards Adara and Natalie specifically, I couldn’t tell you. I’d love to write more in the In Other Lands world (about which more later) - but whether I could do a short story or a series of books would obviously change my answer. It’s not entirely up to me, but I definitely do have plans for Adara. She’s a foil for Elliot, and the kind of character I really like - one who I see treated shallowly in other media, when few people really are shallow. If there’s too much skimming the surface, I long to explore the depths. And with the depths come adventures. Thank you for your care!

I also thank you for being excited for Long Live Evil. Villains and villainesses do definitely deserve representation, and have long been beloved by me because they’re often complicated, witty because they see the world differently, and queer-coded. I was also thinking when writing it about the different ways audiences can come to a story, and using the same evidence how different people presume characters are (for example) straight or bisexual. And often the ending will be very uniformly heterosexual. But if you go into the story, and change its direction… Are the things you presumed true? Are the things characters presumed about themselves true? Would certain subtexts surface, and certain texts submerge? How do we influence art by engaging with it? Anyway, I am categorically not making any promises because that’s got me in trouble before. But it’s an ensemble story (I was inspired by the group dynamics and relationships, all given weight, of Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows) and these are some of my preoccupations when writing it. I hope you shall find much to enjoy.

In the meantime, if you seek sapphic media that goes hard, and Sappho knows we all do… The Jasmine Throne and the Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri - this series is a huge favourite of mine - and not just mine, it won the World Fantasy award. Its central f/f pairing features one party holding the other at knifepoint for fine reasons and they have a brilliant dynamic based on understandably conflicting ideologies and complicated family situations! I love it.

Thank you for a delight of a letter and your kind words. I write this being yelled at by a cat for skritches, which is pleasant as puppies. I wish you a beauteous day with animal companions of choice, with apologies I couldn’t answer more definitively!