#overall favorites fic recs

[crepesuzette2023]

Hi! Because someone just asked me, I'd love you hear your Top 5 favourite McLennon fics!

You made my day! Nothing could have made me happier than this ask.

I'm not going to evade your question. I will post my top-five, even though it hurts to choose. But you inspired me to finally write a longer (okay: very long) post about some (not nearly all!) of my favorites, which will be under the cut.

(Sorry for not knowing every writer's tumblr, by the way. Please feel free to let me know, so I can tag authors where appropriate. Thank you!)

My Top 5:

MIRACLE WORKER by @scurator. What can I say. Every time I need my heart broken and to feel an inkling of what grace truly means, I go to this masterpiece about Paul and Robert Fraser finding each other again at Cavendish in 1981.

COAST STARLIGHT by bookofapril is "Miracle Worker's" cosmic twin. The sun to its night. Paul and Robert Fraser on Fire Island in 1974. Nothing I can say will do it justice, so I won't try. This is the "other world" conjured in "Tug of War," so powerfully and joyfully imagined, it's real. (I'm always thinking of this story, but I did so extra hard when I came across a prompt recently: 'They aren't each other's first love, but they're each other's true love'.)

SAME AS IT EVER WAS by RedheadAmongWolves. My favorite Outsider's POV. An ageing newsstand owner from Liverpool remembers John and Paul as boys and young men. There's something magical about the relationship coming alive in these glimpses. A story filled with tenderness that reminds me to always look closely.

AN ORGASM OF SOUND by @pauls1967moustache. The insanity of John and Paul in 1967 got the tribute it deserves. I sleep easier since I read this story. It feels cosmically right that it exists.

PLANT A SEED by @eveepe. Paul in his slutty sailor outfit in Miami. He and John are into each other, and happy, and fuck slowly. Afterwards, Paul has an idea for a new song. That's it. Tender, glorious, hot perfection. Apply at least once a week for best results.

For more thoughts about some of my favorite stories, sorted into very much defined-ad-hoc categories, read under the cut.

Young Love:

I love the myth of their first meeting, and stories that speculate about the sexually loaded creative fireworks/gritty jealousies/tentative hand-holding/topping and tailing during the first years. Here are some faves:

Paul finds music, and John, and his life is changing. In STREETS OF OUR TOWN (@with-eyes-closed) you can taste the upheaval and promise of first love and growing up. Deeply sensual, even without on-page sex. The shaky, sweet, and all-consuming fire of John and Paul’s first kiss is immortalized in ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY (RedheadAmongWolves). In NON NOBIS SOLUM (@downtothe-lastdrop), art student John simply has to know how far grammar school boy Paul will go to please him. But Paul matches him play-by-play. In THE CAST IRON SHORE (@m1ssunderstanding) Paul earns extra money through music and sex. John finds out. They fall in love, and hide their mutual pining behind transactions—but in the end, they man up to pair up, and get their band back on track. (The first part is finished; I can’t wait for part 2.) John and Paul’s ’61 trip to Paris has been honored in fiction many times; WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHING (@lilypadd23) is a slow-burning, blessedly long story that blossoms sweetly. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT is the concept by which Paul measures both his pining for John and their deeply satisfying (but surely not really queer?!) sex life. Perfectly realized Paul POV by @merseydreams. Finally: I NEED YOU DARLIN’ (verse) (by @beatlessideblog) would have fit many categories, but I put it here, because in the end, it’s about young John and Paul becoming friends, making music, having sex, and falling in love. No more, no less. Embedded in a late 50’s/early 60's Liverpool omegaverse in which there's a place for their bond. But, surprise (?!): It’s still complicated. I can’t overstate how charming and satisfying and funny and hot this work is.

Old John and Paul:

Is there anything as lovely as imagining John and Paul growing old together?

In HERE TODAY (@herspecialagent), John and Paul found happiness with each other in Scotland. On 8th December 1980, they invite friends for a party, and fight an inexplicable sense of doom. A reminder that our other lives can be closer than we think, and to keep our loved ones even closer.

GROW OLD WITH ME (@inherownwr1te): Old farmers and husbands John and Paul enjoy domestic bliss, deal with a broken arm, and make sweet love.

HAVING COFFEE (@feathersandblue): John Lennon and Paul McCartney, “one of the most iconic gay couples in history,” look back on their early love, the Beatles, and being outed in the 80’s, in this oh-so-glamourous, well-written 2020 portrait…

Magical re-tellings of J/P and/or the Beatles Story:

No matter where you come down on the blessed vs. cursed continuum—they were living through something magical.

In KISSING THE BLARNEY (@zilabee) the Beatles draw love and music from kissing Paul, and each other, until the stupid world interferes. But fear not, all ends well. How to tell the truth through whimsy: this story demonstrates it.

In WE ARE ALL TOGETHER (also by @zilabee), John and Paul switch bodies. It helps.

I WAS A YOUNGER MAN NOW (THEN) (POST HOC) BY @fingersfallingupwards: Paul is a time traveler and braids his life together with John’s, out of order, through the years. And yes, they do grow old together—but not without losing each other first. I’m in awe of this story.

A darker time-traveling story is A MATTER OF TIME (D12Fan), in which John and Paul love each other, over and over, and never manage to make it work—but Paul won’t give up.

FOR THOUGH THEY MAY BE PARTED (@downtothe-lastdrop): The misery of the 'Get Back' sessions and memory-stunting technology imported from “Severance” are not enough to kill off John and Paul’s attraction and longing for each other. Again, this is basically what happened, so.

John and Paul without the Beatles?

Yes, please! Sometimes, the best way to dissect and celebrate (and fix?) this mesmerizing and exasperating partnership is to lift it from its context and drop it elsewhere. Anything goes.

WHATEVER FATE DECREES by @dailyhowl: A gorgeous, finely spun, securely handled, self-contained vision of how John and Paul could have worked as artists in love, without a band to 'legitimize' and constrain their bond. I love this homage to their deep and complicated love that needed trust and breathing room.

1967 by @walkuntilthedaylight: What if John and Paul had gone to Spain together and not come back? This story not only explores their relationship layer by layer, it also dives into the the feelings of those who knew them 'before' and who now meet them again, as a couple. A fascinating alternate history. Not a fluffy one.

TOMORROW I'LL MISS YOU (@pauls1967moustache): Paul abandons John in Hamburg—or John stays behind without bothering to write, depending on who you ask. This "Before Sunset"—AU reunites them, years later. They ride a bus and write a song, and the love and tension are sweet and painful.

DOUBLE FANTASY (by @javelinbk): Modern AU in which John and Paul meet at John's flower shop and manage to ignore and creatively re-interpret their feelings for one another for a surprising amount of time, before fate has mercy. I love how their sweet, well-matched eccentricity makes the world a warmer place for both of them.

WE ARE STARDUST (Unchained_Daisychain): AU. John and Paul meet at Woodstock, fall hard and fast for each other, and have to decide what to do with it: Paul's life is back home in England...except...

Angst, darkness, and courage:

Pain, fear, grief, and other dark emotions are part of the real J/P story, so it makes sense to honor and harvest them in fiction. One of my favorite brands of McLennon angst is the one triggered by their feelings for each other, and the thing they become once they're together™. When they're scared of how much they need each other, and of what will happen next.

ONE AND ONE AND ONE IS THREE and MANAGING EXPECTATIONS (both by @pauls1967moustache), for instance. The first is a terrifying threesome with Yoko (at John's instigation, of course), in which trust is never rewarded and sex resolves nothing. The second is Paul wondering, in thoughts both messy and crystal clear, whether he exists independently of John. He turns to Brian for answers. They fuck. It feels like a human thing compared to what is going on in Paul's mind. Just astounding.

SUNDAY DRIVER (@boshemians) dives into the theme of Paul and John being afraid of themselves in the aftermath of Paul's accident (moped, sexual) with Tara Browne. This one, like "Managing Expectations," ends on a lovely grace note.

MACABRE (@dovetailjoints). Lennon and McCartney go too far.

OPEN HEART (@paisanas). Paul drinks John's blood. John lets him. But Paul starts to hate himself for how much he needs John, which John feels as rejection. I love how this story ends on Paul embracing his need. You can see the painful, bare bones of their malnourished love under the lush sensuality of the vampire sex. Raw and rich.

SILENCE (@ohjohnnysblog). Short and piercing. If there is someone you love—tell them. Don't wait.

THE LATE, GREAT JOHNNY ACE (@midchelle). Reeling with grief, Paul is recording an album in 1981. George and Ringo are there. John is not. But in the end—he is. And they touch. I've always admired Paul's resilience in the face of having to perform or "prove" his love of John in public, and this story showed me, without sugar-coating, where this resilience comes from.

Light, hope, and fixing things:

There is also much lightness and brightness in McLennon, because John and Paul were ridiculous, and horny, and weird. And also: they deserve a laugh. They deserve the fluffiest of happy endings. They deserve high-quality, life-affirming smut. They deserve silly, because silly is what they were. You know their names, look up their number.

1980. John is in BERMUDA (@scurator), Paul visits. Paul comes prepared, John just comes. Sometimes, it can be this simple. This story always leaves me in such a good mood. Paul is the (more) experienced one, and it...really works for me.

GOT TO GET DOWN (@eveepe): In praise of John's obsession with Paul's...precious. His small and perfect prick.

ADVENTURES IN TOTAL HONESTY (@merseydreams). Pithy and sexy, and, I quote from the tags: #Excessive Margarita Mixing.

ANINUT (@pauls1967moustache): The Beatles heal, together and separately, after Brian's death. Once more, I quote the writer: "The Beatles did not follow any of the Jewish mourning traditions, and frankly, they should have."

The unhinged weirdness of the Mad Day Out, with John and Paul escaping and Francie, Yoko and Mal not missing them...much, is rightfully celebrated in one of the insaner stories I read: JOHN, I'M ONLY DANCING (@skylikeaflame)

FAIR'S FAIR (@javelinbk): John and Paul are being silly during a press conference, resulting in acute arousal requiring John's skilled intervention. I love the unexpected care and tenderness in this one!

WHERE THE POETS WENT (RedheadAmongWolves): Tender and enchanted story in which Paul and John go to a bookstore, where they're not as famous as everywhere else. As delicate as the chiming doorbells and the pages murmuring around them.

TAKEN AWAY (@crumblingcookies) Extraterrestrial Intelligence intervenes to reunite John and Paul.

CAN I TAKE MY FRIEND TO BED? (manhattanvalleys). Paul fucks the band in sequence and gets off in the end, as is his due. This is a story like Prince's KISS. No filler, all effect.

THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY (@ohjohnnysblog). Warm and nostalgic phone sex in the 70's.

KEEP THE LIGHT WE'RE GIVEN (@backbenttulips). Amidst the rise of Beatlemania, Paul and John expect their first child. This is Paul's 1962 diary.

More Outsider POV's:

STILL MATES (@pauls1967moustache): in 1968, Peter Asher takes the leap to act on his feelings for his sister's spiraling ex fiancé. This isn't about Paul as much as about Peter, and who he wants to be. Gutting character study. It made me love Peter.

ANOTHER GIRL (@boshemians): Astrid reunites with the Beatles during the making of AHDN and registers their words and deeds with the same stark objectivity as her camera. I love how she seeks the shelter of obscurity while they are being dragged into the limelight. But she sees them, wherever they are. J/P in this story feels incredibly real to me.

WHY BUY THE COW (RedheadAmongWolves). The milkman sees everything on his early morning rounds: the arrival of a nice new family, the McCartneys, the mother's illness, the sadness after her death...and the arrival of a new love in the older son's life. He shouldn't approve—should say something, in fact. But a small inner voice holds him back.

SLEEPLESS IN WALES (thinkpink20). Mike overhears Paul and John whisper in bed. He doesn't understand everything they say. I do. Adorable.

Not each other's first love, but each other's true love

THIS YEAR'S FOR ME AND YOU (@skylikeaflame): After a long life, after deep and loving partnerships with other people, John and Paul, encouraged by their grown-up children, finally meet their mutual love head on. A festive story about waiting the perfect amount of time.

THERE ARE ALWAYS FLOWERS (tarenas): The Beatles are in the past; John and Paul's love is in ashes. Paul, who is fragile and bereft, lives with George, who is content. The four ex-Beatles unite for the second wedding of Mike McCartney. At times, the aching grief in this story is almost unbearable. But the love between George and Paul is unusual and real. This is unfinished. I'll keep waiting for the final chapter.

Beyond J/P

WANT ME WHEN I'M NOT THERE (@backbenttulips): Linda catches Paul cheating on her with John. She divorces him. Finally: a story that puts her most likely reaction front and center, with no mercy for the messed-up geniuses.

In the Rebecca-AU LOVE LIKE GHOSTS (@backbenttulips), Yoko becomes Mrs. Lennon. Soon, she discovers that her husband is haunted by the ghost of his first love. It's pleasing how well this re-telling matches the events as they (alas) (almost) happened. The ending is chilling. Genuinely horrifying. I love seeing Yoko as the sensible one and as the focus of empathy.

THE BASS LESSON (@aquarianshift). Paul and Stu fool around without letting go of their mutual resentment for even a moment. And it works. "Let's never do this again." I don't think so.

TELL ME ALL MY LOVE'S IN VAIN (@midchelle). Forget about quote unquote platonically obsessed male rock stars: This about about Maureen and Patti through the years. The web weaving continues.

SPOTLIGHT ON JOHN AND STU (@dailyhowl) A love story in letters—too brief, like Stu's life, but sounding as if the writer transcribed their dictation. Some of the best descriptions of what it must have been like to play on stage with the Beatles during the mania are in NO I IN THREESOME (@with-eyes-closed). George finds himself in the beam of attention between John and Paul, and nearly loses his mind. But he's determined to stay and become part of them. Paul is daddy and "fucks like music" as seen through George's eyes. The whole story is vicious and hot and uncomfortable—until there's the love and quiet at the eye of the storm.

Not for the faint of heart! WHAT THE CIGGIE CARTON SAW (@waveofhand): Paul McCartney having his way with cigarettes.

This is getting out of hand...but I'll stop here. There are so many more stories I love. And I can think of many other categories that would deserve their own post.

So, who knows: To be continued?

[themerlinlibrary]

Favourites Friday (July 2023) – Overall Favourite fic [1 year of FF!]

TML Favourites Friday round-up! July 2023 round 1

What is Favourites Friday? – The Basics

a different theme is announced on Friday each week; FF recs must match the theme of the week

only one FF rec per person per week/theme

FF recs must be unique within that week/theme; no double-posting the same fic for one theme!

no self-recs during regular rounds

only self-recs during self-rec rounds (last Friday of each month)

Theme for week 1: Overall Favourite Merlin Fic!

Sorcerer's Bane by BeautifulFiction E, 264k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

Rest Awhile, You Cruel Cares by riventhorn E, 44k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly M, 207k, Merlin/Arthur Post-Canon, Modern Era

The Impersonated Self by fourleggedfish M, 234k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

Stop Watching by Footloose E, 52k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU; Sports, High School

A Challenging Hostage by wryter501 T, 224k, (?) Canon Divergence, Canon Era AU

the years in between by acciomerlin T, 2.5k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

To Be A King by clotpolesonly T, 127k, Gen Canon Divergence, Canon Era AU

Horizons Over Battlegrounds by Zaharya T, 14k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

Radioman by Footloose (Part 1 of Loaded March) G, 34k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU; Military

And None But Fools by horsecrazy E, 43k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

We Are All Diamonds by Footloose E, 134k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

Twitch Your Whiskers and Pull My Tail by BlueSimplicity E, 61k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

Parchments by BlueGrassSax E, 32k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

The Student Prince by FayJay M, 145k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU; College/University

Gadarene by unpossible E, 76k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Divergence, Canon Era AU

so close and I'm halfway to it by ariadne_odair M, 221k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

These Ghosts Might Be Mine by PeaceHeather G, 69k, Gen Canon Era; Time-travel

your words are the lifeblood rushing through my veins (your shine burns brighter than a hollywood star) by stolenstars T, 7.6k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

A masterlist of all round-ups can be found here.

If you want to make sure you never miss a FF rec, or would like to participate and share your own favourites; join us on the Discord TheMerlinLibrary! Happy reading!

About the FF round-up lists:

Recs are listed in the order they were posted on the Discord; the order does not imply any sort of ranking.

The pairing given in this list is the main pairing of each respective fic – please read the tags for any possible minor or side-pairings, as well as any potential warnings or triggers.

Pairings and Eras are given as tagged in each respective fic. (?) signifies that the tags were unclear and I do not know enough about the fic to fill the gaps.

Round-ups are compiled on the weekend of the week after the respective theme of the post (when the new theme has already been anounced), to avoid omitting potentially belated FF recs.

Since I am running FF alone, it is not always possible for me to have the round-up list up immediately – please be patient.

The weekly round-up is not a guarantee! Again, I'm running this alone, so it can only be posted for weeks when I have enough time on my hands to compile a list. If you'd like to help out, feel free to contact me on Tumblr ( @zaharya ) or Discord.

[svintsnghostsrecs]

on the way to fight hyunjin cause what the fuck? but also the way i started humming And I Love Her too. i grew up on the beatles and was in love with ringo as a child. i think Love Me Do was the first song i ever fully knew the lyrics too. i genuinely love how the older classics are featured in this series and i can't say how much joy that brings me. i love me some The Beatles and Nirvana so much. ❤️

ON TOUR.

PART II: OPENING ACT.

Hyunjin x reader x Felix.

Chapters: I. SOUNDCHECK. / III. UNPLUGGED. / IV. HIDDEN TRACK

Synopsis: Your best friend, Felix, is in a rock band and he takes you to join him on tour as the band’s photographer. On the road, you learn how to deal with his bandmate, Hyunjin, who’s not very welcoming of you. (15,4k words)

Author's note: Team Hyunjin, get ready to get spoiled. Apology in advance that the smut is not yet taken place in this chapter, pls hang on a little bit more.

Click here for ON TOUR playlist.

Content warning: Mention of claustrophobia.

The song was a warning sign for him.

"Here she comes, you better watch your step..."

From the end of the hall, he saw you coming, trailing behind a security guard. Your eyes met in the middle as both of you came towards each other.

Hyunjin didn't want to stare so he kept looking straight ahead, even though the urge to look at you again was too hard to resist.

"She's going to break your heart in two, it's true..."

Then something tugged the sleeve of his jacket and his phone dropped to the floor, accidentally putting the song on pause in the process.

"I'm so sorry," you said as you scrambled down to pick up the phone on the floor.

He saw you checked his phone for any damages only to see the song he was listening to. Probably knew he was watching, you picked it up and handed it to him while muttering your apology the dozen time.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again.

You looked up at him, with your eyes that shined under the fluorescent lights like a pool of still water that reflected the starry night sky.

"Can you help me?" You softly spoke to him.

He was mesmerized, he wanted to say something about what he just saw but to someone he randomly met in the hallway?

You said something again but he was so out of it for a moment that he didn't catch what you were saying. All he could catch at the end was you, pleading with those eyes.

"Please?"

He didn't want to be caught, bewitched by your eyes so he spat whatever crossed his mind at that moment, "And who are you?"

"I'm a friend of Felix," you hopelessly answered.

A friend of Felix? He knows all of Felix's friends but he hasn't seen you before. Not that he doubted your friendship, it's just that he prefers it if you were just a stranger.

"Can you please call him for me?"

What is it? What is this feeling suddenly gnawing inside him? He could easily do what you asked and calling Felix would only take a few taps on his phone but he found it hard to do it.

When he glanced up to look at you again, your eyes dimmed like a day turns midnight. With disappointment in your eyes, you lowly sighed and said, "You know what? Never mind."

He didn't have to be that crass but it was too late to try to fix it, all he could do was watch you walk away.

Hyunjin reminded himself that this shouldn't bother him so much, he tried to avert his thought somewhere else, hitting the play button to continue the song only to hear the lyrics speak to him.

"It's not hard to realize, just look into her false-colored eyes..."

After a quick trip to the restroom, Hyunjin walked back to the green room to find you again. His guilty conscience made him feel relieved that you were there and he could fix what happened earlier.

Hyunjin almost smiled, almost.

Until he saw you with Felix, sitting so close next to each other, your hand was in his hair and your eyes shined for him, just for him.

"Hyunjin, I want to introduce someone to you," Felix said to him.

The gnawing feeling returned and it started to eat him from the inside. What is it? He couldn't find the answer yet.

He didn't want to say anything because the last time he spoke whatever was inside his head, it didn't end up well.

Hyunjin shrugged and left.

The song suddenly played in the back of his head as if it was trying to mock him.

"She builds you up to just put you down. What a clown!"

-

This is one of the top three reasons why you chose to be a freelance because a work interview makes you nervous.

You've been bouncing your knee under the table without the other man in the room knowing while reading the paperwork you need to sign.

"Are you going to be cool?"

You abruptly stop reading and look up at him, "excuse me?"

Vin, the tour manager, called you to his hotel room to have you sign some paperwork.

He puts his reading glasses on, "What I'm trying to say is are you going to be okay sharing a room with Lou or should I rearrange everything to accommodate you?"

You lived in a co-ed student dorm for three years so it wouldn't make a big difference if you have to share a hotel room with Lou. He's alright, it wouldn't be an issue at all.

You immediately shake your head, "I have no problem at all!"

"And we're going to get on the tour bus after we're done with the first stop so you'll have to be okay sharing the space with five of us," he adds with furrowed eyebrows.

That randomly gets you wondering if it's possible to fit six people into a bus.

"We're going to twelve cities in three months or even more," he takes a sigh in between sentences, "and we'll do a few things in between, we'll always be on the road," he warns you for what's coming.

Well, when he puts it that way it sounds exhausting and mentally draining. 

"Can you do that?" He doesn't mean to scare you, he just wanted to know if you're up for the task before sealing the deal.

But you'll try because who knows? For now, you'll think of this as going on a road trip with your best friend. At least, 1/5 of it is true.

"Yes," you undoubtedly answer and sign all three papers.

He nods in acknowledgment as you hand them back to him, scanning them for a moment with his glasses slumped down his nose.

"One more question!" He says.

"Sure."

"Do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Husband? Wife? Children?"

"No," you reply, "not that I know of," you add with a dry laugh.

He looks at you through his lashes, "what is your real relationship with Felix?" He bluntly asks.

It's obvious he's going to ask if whatever it is between you and Felix wouldn't get in the way of his business to make sure the tour is going smoothly as planned.

"We're just friends," you assure him.

"Just friends?"

But to say that Felix is just a friend sounds like a crime when he's more than just that, "we're close," you correct your earlier answer.

"How close?" He slightly leans forward on the table.

That is the one question you do not dare to answer because you haven't fully figured it out yet yourself. Felix is more than just a friend, that's what you can say so far but of course, you wouldn't give Vin a vague answer like this.

"I know anything could happen," he cryptically says with a serious face, "but I expect business stays as business, do you hear me?"

It feels like a real business now because it feels like you're selling your soul to the devil the second you signed the deals. You remind yourself that you're here to work and the work happens to involve photographing your best friend, it's not entirely your fault that both sides of the deal are in your favor.

You silently gulp air and nod again, "Yes, I understand."

Vin looks at you for quite a while and you start to see your reflection in his eyes clearly, he then puts the papers back into a big, brown envelope.

"That'll be all," he says.

You let out a sigh of relief and you don't feel good staying in his hotel room for long, "I'd better get back to my room," you say.

"Sure," he says as he gets busy with his phone again.

"Good day, Mr. Vin!" You tell him as you get up from the chair.

He looks up from his phone with creases on his forehead, "just call me by my name," he orders.

But he's much older and he's your boss, you don't feel good calling him by his name. You stifle a nod and walk in the direction of the door 

"Have a good day," you say once again but avoid addressing him by his name.

You jog back to your shared hotel room with Lou, you knock on the door until he opens it, finding him dressed in a white sleeveless top and baggy pants.

"I guess we're roommates?" You tell him.

He leans against the door and sighs, "Good! Cause I already brought your things here," he says, showing you all of your belongings in the corner of the room.

He opens the door wide to let you in, there's only one bed in there but that's the last thing you should worry about.

"You know I can sleep on the couch and sometimes, I sleep around," Lou says, he noticed that you worried about having to share a bed with him.

"And by sleep around I mean I could sleep anywhere," he explains with a nonchalant shrug, "sometimes I don't even sleep at all."

You look at him and chuckle, "Since we got this job through nepotism, I think we should stick together."

"Agree!" He shortly responds with a stern nod.

You spot Lou's things next to the dresser. He got a duffel bag of clothes and a backpack for his personal belongings, nothing more.

Meanwhile, you brought a big suitcase for your clothes and another one for your cameras, a bag for your laptop and work-related stuff, then there's the backpack.

"We'll be on the road for the whole summer," you stutter, underwhelmed by the things he brought with him.

"Trust me, you'll end up dressed in the same thing every day," he confidently says as he sits on the couch and checks his phone.

You still doubt that is something you'll do, especially for someone who cares much about personal hygiene. But okay, you don't want to bet on it just yet. Just like Vin says, anything could happen.

"Anyway, congratulations on being the band's photographer!" He says, plopping onto the sofa.

"Thank you," you reply with a wide grin then sit on the end of the bed facing him.

He's typing on his phone real quick then says, "There! I added you to the group chat."

You can't wait to check it but you've been dying to know something, "Hey, if you don't mind me asking," you clear your throat before continuing.

"What's exactly your job?"

He looks up from his phone and thinks for a second as if you've just asked him an existential question, "well... my official job title is a roadie," he starts.

He rests his hand on the armrest and continues speaking, "But I do this and that, anything!"

It's getting even more unclear what his actual job desk is because from what you have observed and seen, he did all sorts of things.

"You know, I cater to anyone's needs," he adds.

Your phone dings with a new notification at the same time as Lou's, it's from the group chat. You open it to see a new message from Vin, ordering Lou to get coffee for the band's rehearsal.

"See? Anything!" He says with a plain smirk.

He gets up from the sofa and picks up his denim jacket from the top of his duffel bag.

"Can I come with you?" You wanted to help and you don't have much to do on your first day at work anyway.

Lou is putting on his jacket when he's answering to you, "thanks for not making me beg for you to help me," he says with a grin.

"Honestly, the temptation was there," you joke.

-

The first city on the tour happens to be a city that you have never visited before so are the rest of the cities you'll be touring to for the next couple of months. It's scary but exciting at the same time.

Sure, it pushes you out of your comfort zone but that's the challenge. From your experience of living abroad for years, you learned to keep yourself open to new things, new places, and this new job which requires you to learn to work under someone. Not to add pressure but that someone works for a famous rock band and a member of that rock band is your best friend who has high expectations of you from the way he entrusted this job to you.

This is not the right situation to be anxious, not when you're having both hot and cold beverages on your lap as you are strapped to the passenger's side.

Thankfully, Lou drives carefully because he knows that getting your skin burned on your first day on the job would not make a good impression.

You regularly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth while putting all of your focus on keeping the drinks still and steady, not wanting to spill a drop.

After an excruciating, anxiety-filled ten minutes of car ride, you arrived at the studio where the band is rehearsing for the tour.

You let out a big sigh of relief as the drinks are off your hands and being distributed to everyone on site, including the staff working the technical of the band instruments.

You take one knowing that it wouldn't help with the jitters but you need the caffeine to function. You take another one to bring it to Felix.

You haven't seen him since you landed a few hours ago and it's nice to finally see a familiar face greeting you with a wide grin and enthusiastic wave of hand from behind his drum.

He gets up to greet you with a hug, "how was the flight?"

"Too early," you shortly reply and hand him his drink of latte with countless pumps of syrup.

"You guys are rehearsing songs?" You ask from a list of songs written on the paper with a lot of scratches and notes on it.

He takes a small sip of his coffee and shows you the paper, "we're still working on the setlist," he says.

He sits back on his stool and takes another sip, "We have a lot of songs we wanted to play but you know... we can't just play our whole discography."

You nod as you see that a lot of songs got crossed off the setlist.

"It's the third time we going over it in the past three months," he adds with an exhausted smile.

It's news to you that they carefully handpicked their setlist when you thought they just play songs the fans come to the concert for. It takes a lot of consideration and time just to craft a setlist, apart from arranging the songs in so many ways to create a seamless flow throughout the concert.

The band also working on writing an intro and an outro to connect one song to another.

Since the band rehearsal is part of the schedule, you don't hesitate to take your camera out and take a few pictures. They look rather tired but you can't blame them for not fitting the images you had of them in your head, it only reminds you they're just human after all.

Han is the only one who seems to always have his energy at a hundred percent while Hyunjin... there's not much clue when he wears his bucket hat so low you can't see half of his face.

Hours passed without anyone noticing until Vin comes to the studio, telling everyone to take a break and the food he ordered for everyone arrived.

You finished up earlier than everyone else, you didn't eat much because the anxiety ate up all of your appetite. You feel full with two donuts and a cup of iced coffee.

Sitting on the empty sofa in the studio, you check on all the pictures you took earlier on your camera.

Felix comes in not long after, sitting next to you with his head leaning in, also looking at the picture you took.

His hand holds yours to pull the camera closer to his side, his rough palm surprises you that you got startled.

Aware of it, Felix turns over both of his hands, showing the inside of his hands to you.

"Ugly, yeah?" He says.

Ignoring his words, you trail the callous on his hands that prove how hard he worked on his drum playing and admire them.

"So this is how the greatest drummer's hand feels like," You sigh in wonder.

A smile rises on his face and you're glad that he didn't feel offended by your reaction to his hands earlier.

"Are you still playing guitar?" He suddenly asks.

You turn off your camera and safely put it back into your bag, "Nah," you answer almost immediately and that got him suspicious.

He hisses in disbelief and eyes narrowed at you, "You think I didn't see the guitar in your apartment?"

You burst into laughter, feeling embarrassed that he caught you lying to his face.

The only problem with Felix is he still believes that you're the exact, same person from years ago. Sure, you're still you, but you're older now and when you thought your anxiety would shrink with age, it did the opposite instead. 

"Let's have a quick jam," he comes up with an impulsive idea.

You immediately shake your head, "No, Felix. That's a bad idea!"

He doesn't seem to hear you, because he's getting up from the sofa and offers his hand at you.

"Come on! It's going to be fun!" He says as he gets behind his drum.

You stand in the middle of the room, not knowing what else to say to him that his expectations of you are so high.

You think of an excuse to stop him, "I believe rehearsal is going to continue soon," you say.

He starts tightening the screws on his drums, "and that's why we should hurry," he simply says.

You make up another excuse, "I don't have a guitar to play."

He points to Hyunjin's guitars with his drum stick, resting on their places, plugged in and tuned, ready to use.

"I don't think he would be happy with me borrowing—"

"I'll tell him that I give you the permission," he simply put you off.

That's another problem with Felix, he thinks the way Hyunjin treats you is normal when you can sense his dislike towards you even when you're not in the same room with him. Even just thinking about him sends a shiver down your spine.

"Another bad idea!" You strongly refuse with a head shake.

Felix throws daggers with his eyes at you, "He won't get mad, especially at me," he assures you.

Yeah, he won't but he surely will at you, you say inside your head.

"You still know the song we learned the first time, right?" He asks as he lightly taps his drums with the end of his drumsticks.

From the way he persists to continue, you have no other choice to but get it done already.

"Yes," you meekly reply.

How can you forget the one song he insisted you learn on guitar? Not forgetting that you only knew a few chords at that time.

But Felix was adamant that you have to play the guitar so the two of you can form a band together. He is adamant still and you believe that's why he achieved his dream.

"Come on! We don't have much time," he reminds you.

You scramble to pick up a guitar as he starts playing the intro of the song.

Hyunjin has two guitars, one is looking brand new, a Fender Jaguar in a light turquoise color. The other one is a Fender Telecaster, in a mix of black and ivory color and a little worn.

You choose the latter and carefully pick it up, putting the strap around your shoulder. Hyunjin is tall, you have to adjust the strap to have the guitar ideally positioned for you.

"Turn on the amp," Felix instructs without needing to tell you which button to push because you know.

You push it and as you step back, your finger accidentally brushes the strings and creates a screeching feedback sound.

"Oh, wow, okay, this is legit," you say to yourself in amazement. You haven't played electric guitar for years, it feels strange yet amazing.

"I don't remember the chords," you naively tell him.

"Search it on the internet," he simply tells you with a subtle eye roll.

You pull your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans and search for it fast, putting the phone on top of a tripod while putting your fingers in the right places on the fret and slowly strumming the strings.

It surprises you how much the guitar vibrates not only under your palm but also sends an electric charge all over your body.

The intro only has two chords and you start playing it while slowly strumming the guitar while Felix plays it with his drum on repeat, waiting for you to get ready to start playing the opening.

Felix would understand if you play badly but the anxiety is still there, it's mostly coming from the fear of borrowing Hyunjin's guitar without permission.

"Okay, okay, I got it now," you stutter even though you're not sure you're playing it right. You just wanted to get it done already and not get caught by Hyunjin.

Felix allows himself to move to the next part which consists of intricate drumming which was why he chose to learn this song together with you.

You count the beat to make sure you play at the right time or else, you'll ruin the entire thing. 

Fortunately, the longer you play, the more comfortable it is. Most of it happens because of muscle memory and now, you have to focus on your rhythm. You stand facing Felix to keep up with him.

But this is where it gets tricky, your solo guitar is coming up and you regretted not warming up your fingers.

"Fuck!" You curse out as you missed a chord.

You hear Felix's laugh against the music and making you miss another chord.

"Oh shit!" Another curse slips out of your mouth.

You watch as your finger pads hit the right spot on the fret, doing it so intentionally hard so they sound right.

"Motherf—" you curse again as you're late for the last chord.

You glance up to see Felix is still laughing and you calmed down becase it's time for his drum solo. There's no doubt that he's a rockstar, you see nothing but the glints in his eyes, flickering. His tongue is slightly peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he nods along to every hit of his stick on the drum.

The veins on his arms are evident as his hands gripped the sticks so tightly, a crease formed between his eyebrows as he meticulously hits every note perfectly.

The song is seven minutes long but it feels like an hour. You were nervous earlier but now that you're getting to the last part of the song, you loosen up to enjoy the last bit of it. This would probably be the first and last time you got to play with Feix.

When it finishes, you let out a long, heavy sigh. Your shoulders slump as you take a step back and stop gripping the neck of the guitar.

Felix looks at you and grins, "Told you, it's going to be fun!"

Felix doesn't know that you're sweating all over, you can feel it on your back and neck, strands of hair escaping your ponytail and you brush them to the back to only find your palms are sweaty too.

Despite all that, you nod in agreement.

A wave of applause comes from behind you and you almost jump on your feet in response. You turn around to find Han and Lou, clapping their hands at you.

"Felix, I didn't know you play death metal," Han says in surprise.

"It's actually post-death metal but okay, yeah," Felix nonchalantly says.

"And you..." Han turns to you, "I didn't know you can play guitar so well!"

You nonchalantly shrug, "That was nothing," you playfully say but bragging is not your thing, you bury your face in your hands, cringing.

"No, you're really good. If only Felix told me about you, you would have been our guitarist," he says.

Like it was timed, Hyunjin comes into the studio. Bad news for Han, he doesn't know he's coming from behind him and certainly heard what he just said.

You subtly hinting Han of Hyunjin's presence with your eyes and turn around once he got the signal.

"But of course, Hyunjin is the right pick," Han quickly resolves with an awkward chuckle.

While you use the opportunity to quietly put down the guitar, hoping Hyunjin wouldn't see that your sweaty palms left marks on the neck of his guitar.

When you turn around, you bump into Hyunjin. You make your case real quick, "I'm sorry that I borrowed your guitar—"

He brushes past your shoulder to get the other guitar, "shall we continue rehearsal?" He says with his back facing the room.

Oh great! First day on the job and you're already making an enemy. Well, he's already an enemy but today, he made it clear that he is.

You tiptoe back to the corner of the room but Lou holds his hand up, asking for a high-five from you. You respond with a low high-five and a grin.

As rehearsal continues, you grab your camera to find your hands shaking, not sure if it's from the anxiety or excitement but it's probably a mix of both.

–

Ten minutes to showtime and you stand-by the backstage, waiting for the band to arrive at any second now.

Lou is there with you, noticing that you're nervous even though your job isn't to entertain the thousands of people attending the concert.

He suddenly slaps your back with both hands that your head turns to look at him, "what's that for?"

"To release jitters," he coyly answers.

He turns around and offers his back at you, "Do the same for me!"

You do the same to him, slapping his back with both hands.

"Harder!" He says.

You slap him harder while laughing, "You like that, huh?"

"Oh yeah!" He playfully replies with a loud groan.

Han appears next to you, "I want some of that!"

"Huh?"

He offers his back at you. You hesitated for a bit before landing a firm slap on his back like you did to Lou.

"Yes!" He shouts with a hiss.

Felix saw it and wants one too. The next thing you know, everyone is slapping each other's back in turns. Lou is right, whether it's from the back slaps or not, it helps you relax.

"What are you guys doing?" Hyunjin asks as he's the last one to arrive.

Felix gives him the back slaps and startles him, "You need that!" He tells him with a grin.

Hyunjin looks at him with eyes widened, then that stern look on his face melts into a smile. It's a strange view, him smiling but somehow, it warms you from the inside just from looking at it.

"You ready?" Hyunjin puts his arm around Felix as it's time for a team cheer.

You get your camera ready to capture the moment, it's sad that you can't join but you're shouting with them as they throw their hands in the air.

Unlike the time you watched their show as an attendee, you couldn't enjoy the show fully since you have to put your focus on the job. Not only that you keep your hands steady, holding the camera to capture any moments but also, you have to walk around to get the right angle.

Knowing their setlist, you pick your time right. When it's time for Felix's solo, you stay on the side of the stage and take as many pictures of him with help from Lou.

Hyunjin's solo is coming up soon, you get off the stage to take a spot against the barricade that separated the pit from the stage.

You have your camera bag open next to you, just in case you need to change your lens quickly.

From this angle, you can see how Hyunjin's fingers form a chord on the guitar's fret in a snap. The way his hand grip the neck of the guitar, the way he holds a note long enough it seems like it's vibrating along with him.

The crowd behind you screams louder as Hyunjin takes the front stage as if his guitar playing isn't captivating enough. You take it as a sign for you to get ready to take some snaps and he's... still blinding.

His red hair is fiery just like his guitar performance yet his eyes remain calm and fierce like an animal that has its eyes set on its prey.

The prey is unfortunately you as you can see that his eyes dart to yours as his guitar solo ends. You quickly aim your camera somewhere else, then squat down to change the lens when you feel something hitting your head, something small, and tapping your head softly.

When you touch your head, there's nothing but your hair that turns into a sweaty mess.

Vin takes a quick look at the previews on your camera, assessing your job on the spot. You can't read his expression but he keeps on nodding.

"Send these to the PR!" he orders as he hands the camera back to you.

"Now?" You ask in utter confusion.

"Yeah."

"But I need to retouch them first," you tell him.

He looks at you with a puzzled look, "How fast can you do that?"

"Hours," you answer but that's a rough calculation. With the amount of pictures you took, you need a day to do it.

"Can you get it done tomorrow morning?" He asks with his arms folded on his chest.

You almost let out a gasp at how impossible that sounded but you want to try first, see how far can you handle it because who knows?

"A-alright," you answer with a slight doubt that is hard to miss.

"Just send the good ones and you can send the rest later," he says, probably sensing that he puts too much pressure on you.

"I'll try my best," you tell him.

As soon as you got back to the hotel, you start working on it. Lou orders room service and you end up eating all of his fries.

"You can take the bed, I'll be up all night working," you tell him.

He's more than happy to throw himself onto the bed, playing on his phone for a bit then falls asleep with his face down.

You finish at the crack of dawn, once you clicked send on the email, you're so ready to crawl onto the bed and sleep. You shut down your laptop and silently put everything back into your bag, picking up the toiletry bag remembering that you haven't washed up since you got back from the show.

Slowly, pushing the bathroom door open, Lou's phone blaring next to him. He fumbles to shut it off and you help by turning it off for him.

"Why do you set an alarm so early?" You whisper.

He squints to look up at you and turns over, "we have to pack up," he says.

"Huh?"

"We're getting on the tour bus in an hour," he slurs as he struggles to wake up from the bed.

"What?"

You proceed to wash up but seeing the bed and not being able to lay down is pain, an agonizing pain. Thankfully, you didn't have to run around the room collecting your things because you didn't have time to spend lazing around in the first place.

"You pack your things?" Lou asks as you pile your luggage.

You nod, having no energy left to interact with him.

He softly laughs, "you get on the bus first and have some sleep," he says.

"Can I?"

"Yeah," he shortly answers.

"But my luggage...?"

He looks at you and pleasantly sighs, "I've been taking care of everyone's luggage. I don't think it'd be a problem taking care of another one."

You feel bad you can't help but you'll only burden him more if you do, "Thank you so much!" You tell him with a sincere smile.

It's hard to miss the tour bus when it's that big and shiny, you get on the bus to find the driver greets you.

"Good morning, miss!" He says.

"That's Tim, the driver," Lou introduces from outside the door of the bus.

You introduce yourself back to him with a handshake, "Nice to meet you," you force a smile even though it's hard to do so when you feel like about to faint.

"I'd better get inside I..."

"Sure, you need to rest," Tim kindly says.

You walk further into the bus and stop once you found the sleeping pods. Lou told you to sleep on his bed but he doesn't tell you which one.

They're like bunk beds and there are four of them, the sight of it makes you impatient to sleep. You store your bags in a compartment under the bed and take the one on the bottom.

The curtain gives you not much privacy but you're not going to act like a girl and complain about it. As long as you're comfortable, then all is left to do is close your eyes. 

-

Hyunjin's eyes are still heavy with sleep as he makes his way into the tour bus.

Tim is helping Lou load items of luggage into the bus. Hyunjin raises his hand at him with a sleepy smile on his face before getting into the bus.

He's so ready to sleep some more, he goes straight to the sleeping pods and chooses one on the bottom. He slides open the curtain to only find that's already occupied by someone.

At first, he gets surprised to see someone already on the bus since he's always the first to get there. It must be you yet somehow he gets the urge to take a look.

Quietly, he removes the hair covering your face as you sleep on your side. He immediately retracts his hand as you draw a sharp breath, holding his breath thinking that your eyes would open and find him there, watching you sleep like a creep.

Luckily, nothing happens. You're fast asleep with a hand slipped under your head. With your hair still falling over your face, he continues removing them and safely tucking them behind your ear, holding them there.

Now that he can see you up close and still, he wants to do more than just look, he presses a hand to your cheek, doing it so gently to not wake you up.

You're sleeping so peacefully like dreaming of angels, that makes him smile, puts him at ease.

The sound of someone coming into the bus shatters the moment, Hyunjin takes one last look at your face and reluctantly removes his hand from you.

Closing the curtain without making any noise, then hurriedly dumps his bag on the one across from yours.

"You're always early," Felix says with a grin with his eyes barely open.

"No, I just got here a while ago," Hyunjin lies with a sheepish smile, trying to hide the fact that he almost caught watching you.

"Do you mind if I take your place?" He asks since Felix is the other one who always chooses to sleep on the bottom bunk.

"Huh?" Felix doesn't wait to peek inside to find you sleeping. He lowly gasps and closes the curtain back.

"I'll take this one then," he lowers his voice knowing that you're sleeping, then gently put his bag on the top bunk above yours, 

"Thanks," Hyunjin mutters to him.

As Hyunjin lies down and knows that you're sleeping not far from him, the drowsiness left him and is replaced with something else as the thoughts of you invaded his head.

Not only that he gets to see you in his wake, but as he closes his eyes, he gets to see you too.

-

The bus is not moving.

There are two possibilities: you got woken up after a few minutes of sleep or you have arrived but no one bothers to wake you up and tells you 

Panic, you hurriedly get off your sleeping pod to find the other pods are just as you expected, empty. You pull the hoodie over your head to hide your bedhead and go to the front of the bus.

You see Felix is sticking his head out of the window, laughing. You gently put your hand on his back, "where are we?"

Felix is slightly surprised to see you, you would too if you looked like this.

"oh, babe, you're awake!" He says.

Without warning, he pulls your hand to look at the window. That's when you know the bus is parked at the rest area and from a few meters away, you see Hyunjin and Lou running towards the bus.

"What's going on?" You ask in pure confusion.

Felix goes to the door without answering, "Tim starts the bus!" He orders the driver.

He complies without words and starts reversing the bus out of its parking spot. The loud knocking on the door bus makes you jump on the seat.

Felix goes over to open it, letting both Hyunjin and Lou in. They're panting and laughing at the same time. You don't know what's so funny about it until you see Han is still running from across the parking lot.

But Tim, the tour bus driver, driving the bus on its way back to the highway.

"Yeah, okay, leave me!" Han shouts as he chases after the bus.

"I mean nothing to the band anyway. I'm just the vocalist and the songwriter," he shouts again then immediately gives up running.

It seems like it isn't the first time they did that to him from the way he gave up quickly. Tim hits the brake at Felix's order while Lou hangs in the doorway and laughs at his friend being the victim of the prank.

"oh, don't be so dramatic!" He coos at him.

Han walks to the bus like a sulky three years old, his hands excessively swaying on his sides with his feet stomping the asphalt.

He's mere inches away but Tim teases him by driving the bus away from his reach.

"Tim, I swear, I'm going to—"

Tim laughs despite Han's unfinished threat and this time, he stops the bus, watching as Han gets in with sweat dripping down his neck.

Felix puts an arm around his shoulder, "today's workout is cardio, huh?" He jokes.

You didn't know there was this menace in Felix until now. See? He's not the exact same person as well. You're not the only one changing.

Lou, still laughing, goes to the fridge and takes a bottle of water for him, "you mean everything to the band, of course!" He assures him.

Han slumps on the seat next to you, panting with his mouth open, then leers at you, "Aren't you glad being with us children?"

Aware that you just woke up, you cover your mouth as you burst into laughter. Everyone is still laughing as well, including Tim, who's driving the bus back to the highway. 

And Hyunjin too, as he leans against the cabinet and drinks bottled water.

He's laughing with his eyes forming two crescent moons, very endearing to see.

-

The PR team asking for more individual pictures of the members.

Thankfully, the tour bus is empty since everyone is off to get ready for the soundcheck, making it easier for you to focus on the job.

Your phone buzzed with a new message from Lou.

"The soundcheck is in 5!"

It's obvious you're going to miss it but either this or that, you're doing your job, therefore there's no use to feel guilty about it.

Half an hour later, the email is sent and you get off the bus to get back into the venue to only see a group of people gathering around the back entrance.

Someone noticed that you're not a part of them, easily spotting the ID hanging around your neck which identified you as a part of the staff. The girl breaks away from the crowd to come up to you and it's too late for you to avoid it, she has seen you and vice versa.

"Can you please give this to Han?" She asks, pushing a letter and a little plushie at you.

"Uh..." you stammer, don't know what to do because someone didn't brief you on a situation like this. Maybe because you never thought to ever encounter it.

"Please? Please?" She pleads. The sweat on her forehead shows that she must have been waiting outside long enough, wishing the band would come out and receive their gift.

It's not part of your job desk but you'll feel bad for not helping for something as simple as this.

"Yeah, okay," you relent, taking the gift from her and putting the letter in the pocket of your jacket.

She turns to the other girl next to her, "please give this to Hyunjin too," she pleads.

You glare at her because you think she'd get it that you're only doing it for her and not intending to deliver everyone's gifts.

"Please, don't tell anyone else about this," you scold her as you reluctantly take her friend's gift and hold them close to your chest.

She suddenly grabs your hand and squeezes it hard, "thank you so much. Thank you!"

You hide the gifts behind your jackets before making your way to the back entrance, showing your ID quickly for security to let you in.

Following the signs that lead you to the green room, you get inside to find it still empty except for the stylists who arrange the band's clothes on the railing. The soundcheck hasn't finished yet, it'll be too late for you to get there, the band is probably on their way back here anyway.

Felix and Hyunjin are back a few minutes later. While Felix doesn't wait but to sit on the sofa next to you and rest his head on your lap, Hyunjin is going as far away from you as possible.

You look at the box of gifts from the fans, wondering how you're going to give it to Hyunjin and preferably doing it without anyone else in the room.

"Where were you?" Felix asks, putting your hand in his hair to play with it.

"Had to work and send some more pictures," you shortly reply.

He turns over on your lap, looking up at you with his warm brown eyes and you look back at him. You play connect-the-dots with the freckles on his cheek, lightly touching them with your fingertips.

"You look gorgeous from here," you compliment.

"And you look not bad from here," he compliments back.

You chuckle, knowing well that you must have looked ugly from that point of view. You turn Felix's head to the side and give his hair a ruffle, making it a mess as a way to get back to him.

From your peripheral vision, you see the red of Hyunjin's hair. He is going out of the green room and from what you learn, he likes to take a walk as a part of his pre-concert ritual.

"I have to go to the restroom," you mutter to Felix.

You replace your lap with a cushion and get up from the sofa, not forgetting to take the gift with you as you start jogging to chase after Hyunjin.

He has his headphones on as usual, you learned the hard way to not grab the sleeve of his jacket so this time, you gently tap his shoulder.

He turns around almost immediately, looking slightly surprised to see you.

"I... uhm..." It's hard talking to him when you know you're not going to get the best responses.

You avoid his eyes because they do nothing but make you nervous, "I met one of your fans outside and she wanted me to give this to you," you hand him the little goodie bag with his gift inside.

He only stares at you and not taking the gift from you. You don't want this interaction to last longer than you planned, you told him your intention so you hand him the bag into his hand.

"That's all!" You stammer and turn around on your feet to walk back to the green room.

The urge to look at him takes over you and you eventually give in, looking over your shoulder to see Hyunjin throws the fan gift into the trash bin.

Curious whether the gift is something so repulsively bad that he doesn't think twice to toss it into the trash bin. You peer inside to see a box of chocolate, looks edible and the lid is perfectly sealed.

You would understand if he did that to you, but he did that to his fans?

Hyunjin is so mean.

-

The drama earlier is long forgotten once the concert is done.

You made a run to the tour bus per Lou's instruction, telling you not to exit the building with the band.

You need to work on your pictures anyway, taking out your laptop and begin working in the small booth inside the tour bus.

Two hours passed without you noticing until Tim gets on the driver's side.

"Hey, Tim!" You greet him without looking away from your laptop.

"You're already here?" He asks back as he opens the lid of his giant tumbler and the smell of coffee wafting around the room.

"Mmh. Have to work on these fast!" You shortly reply.

Not long after that, you hear the ruckus from outside the tour bus. You look through the window to see people crowded around the band as they make their way to the bus.

So this is why Lou told you not to get to the bus early. Even with the security guards, people are relentlessly going at them to see or even touch them.

Felix is the first one to arrive, sighing as he safely makes it into the bus.

"Are you okay?" You ask in slight concern.

He grins, "I'm okay," he says.

Lou is the last one to hop on the bus and closes the bus door so Tim can start driving, taking all of you to the next stop.

Before you forgot, you hand the gift from the fan earlier to Lou instead of Han, who goes straight to the back of the bus to rest.

"I got these from the fan earlier for Han," you tell him.

Lou opens the bottom cabinet to put the small plushie into a box full of them. You didn't know they keep them in one place.

"Why?" You innocently ask.

"We don't accept gifts," he simply answers, "but letters are fine," he quickly adds.

"What are you going to do with them?" You sound so sad as if those plushies are living, breathing things.

Lou chuckles seeing your sad face, "We'll donate them," he says.

That's better, you thought.

"But what about food?"

"What food?"

"I received a gift for Hyunjin and it's a box of chocolate, he—" You stop yourself from continuing, not when you know he could hear it.

"Nothing but letters," Lou states.

"Why?"

"Because we don't know what they put in them. For all we know, it could be bad or spoiled. We don't want to risk it so it's better not to take them," he strongly recommends with a squeeze on your shoulder.

"Okay, got it!" You confirmed with a nod.

So, you were wrong to think that Hyunjin is mean. You admit that your prejudice got in the way of what you think of him.

Today's lessons: do not receive gifts and Hyunjin is not mean.

-

Since you're working all night, Lou takes the first turn to sleep in the pod.

You're going there to take your toiletry bag and a charger for your phone only to see Felix's head pop out of the curtain, looking down at Hyunjin's bunk.

"Felix?"

His head snaps in your direction, looking a little flustered as if he just got caught doing something embarrassing.

"Why are you still awake?" He asks when it should be you asking him that.

"I just finished," you reply.

"Ah," he lowly gasps. He realizes that you probably have no place to sleep.

"You can sleep in mine," he offers his bunk for you.

You shake your head, "No, it's okay. Tim is going to stop at a rest area soon. I need to wash up," you tell him.

He immediately climbs down from his bunk, "I'm coming with you then."

No, you're not going to throw a fuss and complain about the toilet inside the bus. It's too small and your claustrophobia doesn't help.

That's why you make good use of these stops to wash up and change your clothes. When you come out, you find Felix has been waiting outside with coffee cups in his hands.

"Want to sit for a bit?" He asks.

"Sure!" You agree because the rest area is empty. There are only a few trucks getting their gas in the station.

The sun will rise soon as you sit on the empty bench, carefully sipping the steaming hot coffee in between. It feels like taking a snooze button after living these past few days in a fast-forward mode. 

"Is it tiring?" You ask.

Felix gets taken aback by your question, "You mean touring?"

You nod, but you mean more than that, being a rockstar and handling the fame that comes with it.

"At times," he honestly answers. He puts down his coffee cup next to him and looks at the sun that gradually rises from the horizon.

"But I know that I'm not doing it for nothing," he adds.

Felix is doing it because it's his dream, he's living his dream and there's no doubt that despite all the exhaustion, he keeps doing it because it makes him alive.

"Babe?"

You turn your head to look at him, "yeah?"

He smiles without saying anything.

"What?" You ask, annoyed that he calls you but not saying anything.

"How did you get more beautiful?"

You snort and sip your coffee, ignoring his cheesy question.

Felix holds your chin and turns your face at him again, "why didn't you look like this years ago?" He asks with his face about to burst into laughter.

You throw a glare at him and sip your coffee again, knowing well that was his intention, to annoy you. He laughs and puts his hand around your shoulder, enjoying the warm, golden rays of the sunrise.

-

You're getting good at it.

Guess, the first time wasn't that successful because you were still nervous. The second time wasn't going that well because you didn't have a good plan.

Now, you know what to do, where to go, when to take pictures.

The only problem is the venue will keep changing and sometimes, the layout of the stages too, so you take time to learn your way around.

They're going back for the encore soon, you hurriedly run to the back and struggle to see what you're stepping on with the lack of lighting.

Afraid that you will miss the moment, you run up the stairs quickly and accidentally slipped on a step. You get that life-flashes-before-your-eyes moment and reel yourself back to reality, running to the side of the stage just in time to catch them entering the stage again.

Hyunjin is still on the side of the stage as Lou fixes his in-ear monitor. You take as many pictures as you can before they start playing the first song on the encore.

Felix keeps the crowd entertained with his solo drumming, you're so immersed in the moment that your back bumps into someone.

You turn around to find Hyunjin, his eyes are staring right into yours.

you see that he's speaking to you but you can't hear what he's saying with Felix intensely banging his drums and you're standing not far from him.

"What?" You mouth to him.

Hyunjin leans closer until his forehead bumps with the side of your face, "your knee is fucking bleeding," he says into your ear.

It doesn't occur to you that your little accident would cause an injury when all you can think about is his hot breath fanning your cheek.

When Hyunjin takes a step back, you finally registered what happened to you and look down to see your knee is indeed bleeding, the blood oozing out of your scraped knee and dribbling down to your shin.

"Oh? I'm sorry," you blurt out and you don't know why you apologize for falling on your knee.

"Here!" Lou is quick to hand you a clean towel.

You waste not another second but put it on the wound while leaning against the railing. You turn to Hyunjin to say thank you this time but he's already back on stage.

In the end, you didn't do well on the third stop. You went to the infirmary to have your knee treated and got it bandaged. You rest for a bit in there with an ice pack to help with the swelling per the doctor's recommendation.

Felix comes into the room looking concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Just a scrape on the knee. No worries," you calmly reply.

"Can you walk?" Felix puts your arm around him as if you couldn't walk on your own.

You slowly pull away from him, "I can walk," you assure him with a light chuckle.

"I'll help you walk to the bus," he insists.

Felix is worried and the only way to put him at ease is by letting him. You forgot about it until you see the group of people gathering around the entrance as the guards open the door.

It's too late to turn away and Felix keeps going despite people starting to crowd around him like moths drawn to flame. The hand holding yours is loosening as a few people got between you.

"Felix?" You call but he surely can't hear you with everyone going at him all at once.

"Felix..." you call him again as you got stuck in the crowd and can't escape it, not to mention, your knee is hurting.

You look around for help but all you can see are the faces of strangers and they're screaming, shouting.

"Felix..." your voice is getting smaller as you got swallowed inside the chaos and no one is there to help you.

-

Hyunjin keeps replaying the moment in his head.

Something about seeing you getting hurt drives him mad and became irrational. Indeed, he can't justify what he did when he could have told you properly, or he could have said nothing but treated your knee.

He could have done better but he chose to be mean.

Hyunjin gets angry when he looks at his reflection in the mirror as he's changing his clothes.

"Where's Felix?" Vin asks, feeling odd about the number of members in the green room.

"I think he went to check on his friend," Lou answers.

But hearing that only makes Hyunjin's chest heaving with anger. His apology wouldn't make you better, you already got Felix anyway, he reckons.

"He's not going back to the bus himself, right?" Vin asks again.

Lou hums in doubt, "I don't... I'll check!"

Hyunjin shouldn't care about it because you're with Felix but something doesn't feel right. He gets out of the changing room and gets his bag from the table.

"You want to get back now?" Han asks him back, still slouching on the sofa with his phone.

Hyunjin doesn't want to waste another second answering Han. As he gets out of the back entrance, his feeling turned out to be right. He can see that Felix is being mobbed by people but what is worse is he can't find you.

Not when there's a lot of people and you're probably in...

He dives right into it, ignoring the people recognizing that it's him and going at him. He scans through the faces and searches for you.

In the middle of it all, he finally sees you, squatting down with your hand covering your head. He rushes to get you up, going against the people turning to come at him.

"It's me!" He whispers close for you to hear.

You look up and he sees those eyes filled with distress, also glassy with tears. He helps you get up and turns around to shield you from the front. He puts your hands on each side of his waist, "Don't let go!"

You nod with your head pushed close to his back.

"Excuse me!" Hyunjin repeatedly tells everyone around him, but they won't hear him, not when all they wanted is to get a piece of him.

"Let us pass, please?" He desperately pleads.

Hyunjin can only go a few steps before the crowd blocks his way again. He grabs your hands to make sure they're still there while he figures out a way to escape this.

"Make way, please!" Someone shouts from behind him.

Lou is gently pushing everyone away to make room for him and Han. Han is getting behind you as Lou is clearing the way to make a path for the three of you.

"Don't worry! I got you!" Hyunjin hears Han softly talking to you as your hands tightly fisting his sweater.

Tim gets off the bus to help Lou, holding off the people from blocking the door of the bus. Hyunjin stops right in the doorway to let you get in first.

Hyunjin gets in after Han with Lou being the last one to get on the bus and closes the door behind him. Yes, he expects nothing in return for what he's done but seeing you end up in Felix's arm...

"Are you okay?" Felix asks as you cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry I let you go," he keeps apologizing to you with his hand gently rubbing your back, "I'm sorry."

Seeing all that, Hyunjin gets it now why: he can't offer the same comfort as Felix does.

Vin comes into the bus looking furious, he orders everyone to sit on the sofa.

"Not you," he points at you, "you can go and have some rest."

"No, I need to work on—"

"You can rest tonight," he insists.

Guess it's the first time you see Vin looking so tense that you comply right away. You reluctantly get up from the sofa but take a stand next to Vin, turning around to face everyone.

Hyunjin's heart skips a beat as your eyes land on him, "thank you," you mutter with your eyes still red.

You turn at Han and Lou next, saying the same thing to them.

"Take care of that knee!" Lou reminds you.

Now that you're gone, all that is left is getting scolded by Vin, but funny that Hyunjin doesn't feel bad about it.

"What did I tell you about not going by yourself—"

Vin's scolding slowly becomes the background noise as Hyunjin only thinks about how you earnestly thanked him, but you did more than just that to him: You acknowledge him.

When he thinks about it, this trouble is worth it now that the two of you are even.

-

The sight of the bed lures you to take a dive and have a quick lay down.

It's a day off and everyone is in their respective hotel rooms, probably doing the same thing as you. You were only on the road for more than two weeks but it's enough lesson to tell you that you took things for granted.

For a blissful moment, you forgot you have a bag of laundry to do. You can't rest knowing that you have chores to do.

You're looking for the nearest laundromat on your phone when Lou comes knocking on the door.

"Thought you're sleeping," he says.

You shake your head, "no, I'm thinking of going to the laundry."

"You can use the hotel's service," he says, grabbing a pair of pants from his duffel bag.

"I know but I want to go just because..." you add a shrug at the end of the sentence.

After he gets out of the bathroom from changing his pants, Lou offers to give you a ride since he needs to do some errands for Vin. He drops you off in a laundromat not far from the hotel.

"Text me when you're done," he tells you.

"Alright!" You reply even though you intend on going back to the hotel yourself.

You bring your laptop with you so you can catch up on some work while waiting for your laundry to be done with a cup of coffee from the vending machine.

You feel normal for the first time and laugh because you didn't think you would miss your mundane life this much. You have some time left while the laundry is in the dryer, you check all of the pictures you took got posted on the band's official website and their social media.

You read the comments and found some that said the photos are so well taken. Now, it feels like your hard work is paid off.

Your phone dings with a new message from Lou.

"Are you done?"

"Almost."

"On the way there," he texts you back a few seconds later.

Packing everything back into your backpack, you get ready to take the laundry out of the dryer and shove them into the bag.

The same car that drove you here stops at the side of the street. Someone rolls down the window but instead of Lou, you find Han.

"Get in, loser!" He tells you with a playful smirk.

"Wow. Never thought you would quote Mean Girls," you mutter then goes to the back of the car to store your laundry bag.

"Felix is not coming?" You ask as you pull open the car door.

"No, he has a doctor's appointment," Lou answers.

Getting into the backseat, you stop for a second after seeing an extra passenger and the last person you expected to sit in the backseat with.

Hesitated whether you should greet him or not, however, your mouth gets ahead of you, "Hey..." You drag the word long enough that it started to sound strange even to you.

"Hey," Hyunjin replies.

Good thing that he wears his hat low like usual you can't see his eyes. You quietly sit next to him and put on your safety belt, as if any loud noise would shatter this peaceful state.

"Where are we going?" You ask Lou.

"We're going shopping!" Han answers the question for Lou as he focuses on driving.

Unlike any other girls, you're not a fan of shopping. You don't like spending time going from one shop to another.

Thankfully, that's not the kind of shopping Han is going for today.

You got cheery as you enter the record store and don't waste time looking around. Han is going through a section not far from yours, you're curious to know what he's getting. From your quick observation, you can see that he's leaning into 90s rock.

"You know the best rock came from the late 60s to early 70s," you lean against the shelf, "I don't even consider anything released above 1973," you add.

Han turns to the next section and starts going through the record one by one with his fingers, "really? Not even Radiohead? Nirvana, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters, Oasis, Blur, Sonic Youth, Pixies, Guns N Roses..." he lists every band that came from that era.

You click your tongue at him and check on the section next to him, "Yeah, okay, 90s is not that bad. They have The Breeders," you weakly agree.

Han turns his head at you, "The Breeders?"

You look back at him in disbelief, thinking he was joking as he looked like he never heard of them before.

"You know Pixies but didn't know The Breeders?" You accidentally raise your voice a little louder that everyone else in the store is turning their heads in your direction.

"I never heard of them!" He innocently answers with a shameless grin.

"Oh, my God!" You groan in disbelief, turning your back on him.

"Kurt Cobain listed their first album as one of his favorite records. They even toured with Nirvana!" You share the facts that you thought were public knowledge until now.

Han is gobsmacked by how passionately you talked to him about a band he never heard of. His mouth hangs open but nothing comes out of it.

It's not enough by telling him, you quickly scan the shelf close to you to find the record that you have in your collection and push it close to his chest.

"Consider yourself lucky!" You tell him with a mad glare.

Han doesn't have any other options but takes it into the pile of records he's going to buy. You're going the other way to start looking for records to buy as well.

You see Lou is checking some new releases and listening to it through the headphones provided at the station.

Hyunjin is... you don't even want to try to search for him. The last time he was with you, you were a crying mess and you made the back of his sweater damp with your tears. It wasn't a pleasant moment to remember even for you, you're certain it's the same for him.

-

Hyunjin has been watching you from afar but he can't help but to come near you. It's as if your magnetic field gets stronger each and every day, he has no power to resist it anymore.

He pretends to look through the section across from you, his back and yours only separated by a mere void he does not dare to cross, yet.

"Oh! Beatles!" You gasp.

Hyunjin looks over your shoulder thinking that you notice him there and talking to him but no, you're talking to yourself while reading the track list on the back.

You start singing the track one by one like a jukebox and Hyunjin silently chuckles at how adorable you sound, so oblivious to his presence, so cute, so...

"I'm going to buy this!" You suddenly say.

Hyunjin has to make sure that yes, you're talking to yourself again.

"You're coming with me too!" You say again.

Hyunjin freezes on his feet thinking he got caught this time but no, you said that as you take another record in your arms and hold it close to your chest like a little child about to pay for her toys.

He gets behind you in the queue to see what you're getting. Leonard Cohen, The Beatles, and The Velvet Underground.

That's not a coincidence, right? You like the same music that he likes, that must mean something. Or he's just way over his head.

"Hey, can I get your autograph?" Someone who stands behind him asks with a Ssick album in his hand. The other one is staring at him with wide eyes, not blinking.

Hyunjin gets a grasp of reality, he clears his throat before answering, "Sure, wait," he looks around for a pen.

Just like you read his mind, you borrow a pen from the cashier and hand it to him, "Here!"

"Thanks," Hyunjin mutters, not looking at you because he knows what it does to him.

Hyunjin bites the pen between his teeth and pulls the pen out of its cap, placing a big sign on the cover.

"You guys have paid for this, right?" He jokingly asks as he caps the pen back.

They laugh at the same time, shaking their head in embarrassment.

"This one on me then," Hyunjin kindly says.

Han comes from behind, surprising them with his presence,

"You guys don't want one from me too?"

Hyunjin laughs and turns around to find you're no longer standing close to him.

On the way back to the hotel, Hyunjin puts his headphones on but not playing anything. He knows you're uncomfortable sharing the backseat with him and this way, he can listen to you humming to And I Love Her.

-

It's a little embarrassing to drag your laundry bag to the hotel room but thankfully, Lou doesn't mind helping you.

"You know, you should think of minimizing your luggage," he comments.

You push the button to your hotel floor, "But what if—"

"If you ever run out of clothes, there's always the merch," he cuts you off with the simplest of answers.

You hate to admit that Lou is right, but you've been wearing almost the same thing every day: jeans and a T-shirt. In fact, you've worn your denim shorts to the point that they started to take the shape of your body.

"Also, we're going on the plane after this one," he adds, sipping his almost empty iced coffee.

You almost forgot that the band is going abroad for a summer festival. It seems like you're staying busy even on your day off. However, Felix comes knocking on your door as you're about to start sorting things you want to keep and don't.

"Come and play with me!" He whines the second you open the door for him.

"I have things to do," you sadly tell him.

He pouts, "You guys left me shopping this afternoon and now you don't want to play with me?"

You look back at the stacks of luggage you need to sort, honestly, you don't want to do that today, not on a day off.

"Okay, okay," you instantly cave in.

Felix ordered a lot of food to his room you wonder if the two of you can finish all this. Shouldn't have said that because he ate most of it.

"Heard you got a doctor's appointment today?"

Felix puts the food wrappers into a plastic bag while you wipe the table clean with napkins.

"Yeah, I might have strained my back muscles or something," he vaguely explains like that doesn't concern him at all.

When he should be concerned, a drummer uses those muscles and he has probably been drumming in pain, but not telling anyone.

"That sounds serious," your voice is heavily tinted with worries.

"Don't worry, babe!" He assures you with a low laugh.

You grab his elbow to force him to look at you, "no, I'm very worried and you should too," you tell him.

He takes your hand and holds it close with his, "promise you that I'm taking care of myself well," he promises.

You shot him a doubting glare, "promise?"

"Promise!"

The night continues with him insisting on watching a movie together, you both get on the bed and arguing which movie to watch. Felix ended up getting the privilege to choose and he picked a rom-com.

"We should watch horror or thriller," you tell him.

"Ugh, no!" He strongly resists.

You chuckle because you know he doesn't like scary movies, "grow up, Felix!" You tease.

You hurriedly hide behind the duvet as he throws his arm around you, nuzzling his nose in your hair. You're laughing while he playfully tries to take a bite off your head.

"You're lucky I washed my hair this morning," you tell him.

He stops smelling your hair but draws you closer, letting you rest your head on his chest.

"Yeah, it smells good," he doesn't hesitate to take another whiff.

"I'm Lou's shampoo," you share.

"I need to know what it is," Felix says as he continuously smells your hair and without warning, places a kiss on the top of your head.

With the way Felix holds you, you feel warm and snug, not forgetting you're full with the amount of food you ate earlier. Next thing you know you can't barely keep your eyes open anymore.

"Do you mind if I close my eyes for a bit?"

"You can stay," he casually answers, slipping his hand into your hair.

"Promise I'll go back to my room later..." you tell him with eyes close and slowly, drifting into sleep.

-

Hyunjin has been looking for his notebook.

It's where he wrote all of his ideas from chords, melodies, pieces of lyrics, and even his personal thoughts. The last time he got ahold of it is when he almost left it on the tour bus and Felix got it from him, but his hands were full at that time so he offered to keep it for him.

It's only a little after midnight, Felix is usually still awake at this hour, playing video games or watching movies.

"Felix? It's me," Hyunjin says, just in case Felix is wondering who's knocking on his hotel room.

A while later, Felix opens the door for him with his hair tousled but his eyes are wide awake, "yeah, what's up?"

"You're not sleeping, are you?" He asks because he'd feel bad for disturbing his rest.

Felix aggressively shakes his head, "no, I was watching a movie," he answers.

Hyunjin is right. There's no way he sleeps this early. Before he forgot why he came here, he asks, "I believe you have my notebook?"

Felix scratches the back of his head then opens the door wider, "Yeah but... come in, first!"

Hyunjin steps into the room expecting nothing but the same setup of a messy bed and clothes strewn out of his suitcase.

"I forget where I put it so it'll take time for..." Felix starts digging into his bag to look for Hyunjin's notebook.

A rom-com movie is paused on the TV screen as Hyunjin walks further and yes, there's the same setup except that he has someone on the bed, sleeping.

"Who—" Hyunjin, fortunately, didn’t have to finish his words when he recognizes the clothes, the same ones you were wearing from earlier.

Felix notices that Hyunjin sees you on his bed, "we were watching a movie together and she uh..." he hands Hyunjin his notebook back.

Hyunjin immediately looks away as he takes his notebook back from Felix, "thanks," he mutters.

He doesn't waste another second to get the hell out of there.

"You're going?" Felix asks as if Hyunjin wants to spend another second seeing you sleeping on his bed.

"Yeah, I just need my..." Hyunjin stops himself from talking so much.

"Goodnight, Felix!" He ends it there and walks away.

Felix looks rather sad seeing him leave, he lingers by the doorway as Hyunjin walks to his hotel room, "Goodnight!" He finally says back.

As he sits alone in his hotel room, Hyunjin opens a new page in his notebook and writes:

"I wish you were just a stranger."

-

The next morning, Lou comes to his room to make sure he's awake for a radio interview.

"Yeah, coming!" Hyunjin weakly replies as he packs things into his bag.

He gets out of the room and can't help but think of last night as he has no other way but to pass Felix's room. His heart drops as Felix comes out of his room and he's just as surprised, glad even.

"Morning!" He says.

"Hey!" Hyunjin coyly replies.

He sees Felix shoves his keycard into his jacket pocket but does that mean you're not in his room? He can't be so sure but at the same time, he doesn't want to put so much energy into this. He shouldn't even think about it at all.

"If you can give one essential item to each other what will it be?" The radio host asks such a deep question for a morning show that starts at 7 am and Hyunjin only had half cup of coffee so far.

But since no one is ready with an answer yet, Hyunjin volunteers to be the first to give his answer.

"I want to give Felix confidence," he speaks into the mic.

Felix looks at him with glints of curiosity sparked in his eyes, a hand propped under his chin.

"Felix is much more cooler and skillful than he thinks so... I want to give him more confidence," Hyunjin perfectly explains.

A smile rises on Felix's face and that's why Hyunjin gets this sense of needing to protect him. Felix is pure and innocent, he's too kind and everyone knows what the world can do to someone like him.

"I want to give Hyunjin love," Felix surprisingly remarks.

Everyone inside the studio puts their attention on Felix as he straightens his back on his seat, "since love seems to be an important emotion for Hyunjin."

Felix leans closer to his mic and stacks his hands together on the table, "The more you have, the more you can conquer pain, that's why I think love is important and necessary."

Hyunjin smiles at Felix's sincere and warm words, it's in a moment like this that he feels deeply connected to a person more than anyone that it almost feels like a family.

When he thought Felix has done talking, he continues speaking, "I can lend it to him for a long time. He doesn't even have to return it."

As expected, Felix knows how to win people over with his sincerity which offers the opposite charm to his outer appearance. Hyunjin is grateful that he got to know Felix because he's one of the rare ones.

"Well, those two are giving each other essential items so that leaves me having to give myself an essential item," Han says, feeling left out because Hyunjin and Felix are taking everyone's attention.

Everyone has a good laugh at him and Han laughs at himself at well.

"It's because our Han already has everything," Felix indirectly compliments and at the same time, comforting him with gentle taps on his shoulder.

See? Hyunjin wants to put Felix in a glass case and protect him. He's just that precious.

The day drags on and that's weird. It's usually going by so fast but it's only one in the afternoon and he's at the soundcheck. He looks around not sure what he's looking for. He knows what or to be exact who he's looking for but doesn't want to admit it.

Without him realizing it, he starts to play the guitar solo of The Beatles' And I Love Her on his guitar.

When he turns around to start the soundcheck, he sees you standing on the pit, with your camera aimed at him.

-

Should you be suspicious that your day so far is going as planned?

Your luggage is completely sorted and you send half of your things to your mom's house. You found ideal angles as you walk around the venue and you got there in time for the soundcheck.

Can tonight be a successful one? You wonder.

They're still checking their instruments as you take your place down the stage, just behind the pit just to get new angles because you usually take them right on the stage.

As you check on your camera settings, you hear Hyunjin playing a song with his guitar. A song that you know and have been singing lately.

You look up and take a good listen to what he's playing. It's true, he's playing the guitar solo from the song. It's one that you've been humming.

"Let's start!" Han announces as they finish checking their instruments.

Hyunjin turns around and stops turning as he spots you there, your eyes automatically locked as if the two of you have been trying to get on each other's radar.

It's a popular song, Hyunjin could have heard the song somewhere or it's just a song that randomly pops in his head but you can't help but think that he heard you humming in the car.

You look away first and turn away to go somewhere, bumping into Vin backstage.

"What a coincidence!" He exclaims.

"We need to talk," he says with a serious face.

Vin has that undeniable charisma, one that screams authority and when he talks, he only talks of important stuff. Well, that's your impression of him so far.

And those four words sound scary that you get anxious.

Vin orders you to follow him, back to the hallway where it's quieter.

"The PR wants you to take pictures from the stage," he says.

You're still tense even though he's not saying you got fired or your work is terrible. He's merely telling you to start taking pictures on stage.

"You mean like... shot them right on stage?"

"Yes."

"Can I even do that?"

Vin rubs his chin spiked with stubble, "2-3 minutes are enough, right?"

"So I can do that—" you stammer because you've been trying to ask about it whether you can take a closer shot of the band right on stage.

"Pick your time and coordinate it with Lou," he instructs you and giving you no chance to ask further about it.

Can this day get more suspicious? Ah, maybe you shouldn't be overthinking it. Maybe the universe is giving you a chance to truly show him what you are capable of.

"I need you to do that thing again," you say to Lou.

"What?" He asks in confusion.

You turn your back at him so he can land a slap on your back to release jitters. He laughs before giving you what you want, gentle slaps on your back.

"No need to worry much. I'll help you," he assures you.

You choose to get on stage during the second part of the concert, right after the first part where you know the crowd goes the wildest for their hit song.

Three minutes should be enough, you're going to get there and take as many pictures as possible.

At the appointed time, Lou is giving you the green light to proceed. The plan is he's going to help you navigate on stage but something comes up, Han suddenly asks Lou for the other bass.

You're already on stage and they're already playing the intro even without Han on there. You quickly walk around just close enough to take pictures of Felix and turn to Hyunjin next.

The limited time only reminds you to keep going and three minutes are up, taking a step back, your foot got caught in cables and accidentally unplug Hyunjin's guitar in the process, cutting him off midsong.

You almost stumble backward but a hand grabs your elbow so hard, preventing you from falling on stage.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Hyunjin shouts right to your face.

"I'm so sorry," you meekly say.

Lou drags you back to the side of the stage, knowing that you just caused a technical failure. Good thing that the crowd doesn't boo you or worst, blame the band.

Is this why things have been going well? Because it wants to strike when you least expect it.

It's getting worse because Vin says nothing when you came to him with a sincere apology, he only tells you to get back to the green room right after the concert. You'd rather have him scold you or even cursed you for doing such a shitty job than got nothing but a disappointed look on his face.

You're on the verge of crying but with all the staff still roaming around, you hold it in. The last thing you can do from this day going far shittier than it already did is letting people know you have a very shitty day.

"You okay?" Felix asks in concern even though he just got off the stage and sweat still dripping down his neck.

The sight of him only makes it hard for you to keep it in, you go in for a hug and cry into his chest.

"It's okay, it's okay," he comforts you while his hand softly patting your back.

"It's just one song. No one will notice," he tells you.

The more he tries to comfort you the harder you cry. You don't know what would happen if you were working for any other band and there's no Felix in it, you would be miserable. The only reason you got through everything is because of Felix.

You stay quiet as you sit in the back of the van with Felix, still upset at yourself for what you've done tonight. Tears just won't stop flowing out of you and you keep wiping it with the back of your hands.

"Let's just have fun tonight, huh?" Han suddenly comes up with an impulsive idea.

"Let's just go somewhere," he says without waiting for everyone's approval.

Lou tells the driver to change the destination, sending the van going in the opposite direction of the hotel.

Felix puts his jacket on you as you step out of the van since you're only in your t-shirt and denim shorts, "stop crying, babe," he tells you, gently wiping your wet cheeks with his knuckle.

You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, also you're going somewhere and you don't want to be seen as if you've just uncontrollably sobbed from a bad day at work even though that's what happened.

"Get us a room!" Han tells Lou as everyone arrived at a place with dim lighting.

It's when you arrived in the room you realize that it's a karaoke room. Han doesn't wait but starts choosing songs to sing as if he hasn't sung enough for the night.

Bottles of drinks got sent into the room not long after and everyone starts drinking. Not going to lie, this is exactly what you need: a lot of alcohol and no one is stopping you, guess they know how much you needed it.

It doesn't take long until you start loosening up, picking up a mic to sing a song with Felix. A song that you both know well enough and forget what happened that day as you sing your heart out.

Soon, everyone has forgotten all about it. Everyone is having fun and that includes Hyunjin. Seeing him reminds you of how bitterly he snapped at your face earlier, you understand that he was mad for what you did but still... you thought things are going well, until tonight.

"Thank you," you tell everyone at the end of the song, aware that they're coming here without Vin's permission. It's unclear the reason why they came here out of a whim or maybe they tried to make you feel better, either way, you're grateful that they're in the room with you.

"Thank you," you say again and about to burst into tears again.

"Lou, pour her a glass, quick!" Han tells him.

The night continues with more glasses of alcohol taken and songs being sung in gibberish words. You stop drinking knowing that if you take another one, it will be the end of it.

Lou and Hyunjin are the ones still sober enough to help walk heavily drunk Felix and Han out of the building even though you drank more than both of them.

"Can you walk?" Lou asks.

You hold your thumbs up at him despite feeling like the floor is about to swallow you whole.

It's quiet again inside the van but this time it's because everyone is too intoxicated to talk. Hyunjin volunteers to take Felix back to his room and get on the elevator first.

Lou is having a hard time taking Han by himself, you help as much as you can while carrying the bags with you.

Inside the elevator, you put your hand in the pocket of Felix's jacket to find his keycard inside. You want to go back to your hotel room quickly but Felix and the other members are staying on the upper floor.

"Felix's keycard," you innocently show Lou Felix's hotel room keycard.

Lou softly chuckles, "I bet they're struggling to get inside his room right now."

Once the elevator arrived on their floor, you're going to the right while Lou is going the other way since Han's room is at the other end of the hall.

You see Hyunjin comes out of his room and probably takes Felix there because you have his keycard. He's about to walk in your direction, you don't know why but you hurriedly hide in the hallway, out of his sight.

You shut your eyes tight as you hear his footsteps closing in, hoping he would pass you without knowing you're there, hiding like a coward.

But that's not what happens, he knows you're there.

You take a step back and lean against the wall, pulling Felix's keycard out of the jacket pocket.

"Here!" You hold it out at him while avoiding his eyes.

But instead of taking it, he takes a stand in front of you and looks down at you with eyes that are so intimidating, making you feel smaller than you already are.

"Just take the damn keycard," an annoyed sigh might have slipped past your mouth when you said it.

What Hyunjin does is take a step closer to you, sending you into a fight-or-flight situation. You think fast about which one you should act upon. Fight or flight?

But first, you dare to look up at him and find his eyes intensely staring right into yours. They're only eyes, you can surely win this fight, you reckon.

"Why do you hate me so much?" You blurt out.

It's the alcohol of course, there's no way you can boldly ask him such a question when you're sober.

"Tell me why? Because I don't get it. Why did I do to you that makes you hate me so much?" You lay your hands flat against the wall as you maintain eye contact with him.

"I'm drunk, you see? You can tell me anything and that's okay, I won't remember it when I wake up in the morning," you slur.

Hyunjin holds his gaze steady and with the same intensity, you don't know how he does that, he's so beautiful that it's intimidating.

"Go ahead! Tell me! Promise I'd forget all about it tomorrow," you encourage him more by widening your eyes even though your sanity slips away as every second pass.

It's getting eerily quiet and Hyunjin remains silent still. You let out a low sigh and be the one to break the eye contact when all of sudden, he crashes his lips with yours.

His hand found your jaw and holds you still, he places his other hand on the nape of your neck so he can easily angle you to deepen the kiss.

His lips... as soft as you can imagine and tastes so sweet, gently brushing over yours like melting ice cream. His tongue swiftly parts your mouth open, invading your mouth to get as much taste as he can.

A low moan escapes your mouth as he drops his hand to the arch of your back, drawing your body closer to him. In no time, your bodies mold into each other like they're two missing pieces perfectly put together.

Hyunjin kisses you so passionately but at the same time, holding you so gently like you would break if he holds you too hard.

On the other hand, you're confused by this. He's been playing with your feelings without you realizing it, at times he can be so nice then he turns mean, hot, and cold, it's always unpredictable weather with him.

Now, he's kissing you and making the butterflies in your stomach fluttering awake, stirring chaos inside you. But if it's time for you to die, you wouldn't mind because it's the best way there is to go.

Hyunjin suddenly pulls away and his hands pushing you away until your back hits the wall, somehow your eyes dart at his lips, red and glistening wet like one ripe apple, tempting you to have another bite at it.

But he puts a space by having you pinned against the wall with his hands grabbing each side of your shoulders, his smoldering eyes bore into yours, then he says,"Now, try to forget that!"

And just like that, he walks away, leaving you reeling with the taste of his lips lingering in your memory.

Now, how can you forget that?

-

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[letteredlettered]

feedback and fic in fandom (3 f's of our own)

This conversation about feedback on fic says everything I’ve been wanting to say better than I could say it. But I’ll go ahead and try anyway.

Over the last five years or so there have been some great discussions around the rise of commodification of fanworks and decline of fandom community. This commodification looks a bit like enshittification of the internet: a cool site exists; its popularity makes someone realize they can get money from it; it has more and more ads; the site adds features to drive engagement, including The Algorithm; the things that made the site cool start to fall away. The site exists now as a vehicle purely to get clicks, and the people on it are on it solely to get clicks—to make money, to be successful, for some kind of social cachet.

AO3 doesn’t have advertisements. It’s not making money. But what is happening to fandom is proof of concept that enshittification changes the way we as humans engage. A cool website in 2004 was often a community space where you could meet people, have conversations, find cool things, and make cool things. A cool website in 2024 is either a content farm that will continually feed you enough content to hold your attention, or a social media site where your participation will come with stats to show you whether you are holding the attention of others.

AO3 wasn’t built to be a community space. It doesn’t have great functions for meeting people and having conversations. The idea was that, because fandom community spaces already existed, AO3 would serve the part of that community where you can find the cool things and store the cool things you made. It was meant to be a library in a city, not the whole city itself.

But it was also never meant to be a website in 2024, a content farm constantly generating content solely for your clicks and eyeballs and ad revenue, or a social media site where the content creators themselves vie for your clicks and eyeballs.

The most common talking point when people discuss the enshittification of fandom is the folks out there who are treating AO3 as that first kind of enshittified website: the content farm. This discussion is about how people treat fanfic as a product for consumption.

The post that kicked off the discussion on @sitp-recs’s blog was about someone who wasn’t getting very many kudos or comments on their fic, and was feeling pretty demoralized about it, then joined a discord server and found an entire channel dedicated to people loving their fic. But those on that server had never come to share that love with the author, which the author found really discouraging.

There are more and more stories like this. Someone on tiktok pulls a quote from a fic on AO3 and makes a 10-second video with them staring at a wall, the quote pasted at the bottom, music playing over it. It has 100,000 hearts, and 100 comments with people gushing over the fic, which has 80 kudos on AO3. Overall, people notice more and more hits on their fics, but fewer and fewer comments or even kudos. Fewer and fewer people seem to feel the need to interact with the author, instead treating the fic like a product to be used and discarded—which the enshittified internet (a stunning feature of late-stage capitalism!) encourages. The fandom community is dying, these stories conclude.

I agree. 100%. Both of the stories above have happened to me—viral tiktoks about my fic, secret discord channels to follow and discuss my fic—and let me tell you, it fucking sucks.

But from these observations about fandom enshittification, the discussion continues in a very odd direction. The solution to the death of fandom community is our favorite enshittification buzzword: engagement. We should engage the authors. They’re producing these products for free. We consume them at no cost. We must demonstrate our gratitude by paying them back.

It’s as though the capitalist consumption that the enshittified web encourages is so ingrained within us that we must think in terms of payment, in terms of exchange, transaction. Or as though, by forgoing payment, authors are some kind of martyrs defying capitalism, and the only way to honor their great sacrifice is comments and kudos.

Indeed, the discourse around this sometimes does veer away from capitalist rhetoric into something that smells almost religious in desperation. Authors are gods who bestow us mere mortals with the fruits of their labor benevolently, through love; the least we can do is worship them. Meanwhile the authors adopt the groveling sentiment of starving artists: I produce great art; I only humbly ask that you feed me in return.

These kinds of entreaties make my skin crawl for a number of reasons. I’m not a god. I’m not writing because I love you. I don’t expect your worship or even your praise.

I think the thing that disturbs me the most about it is that it suggests that authors (or, if the OP is feeling generous fan work creators) are the most important people in fandom. I’ve even seen posts stating that without creators, fandom wouldn’t exist—as though readers aren’t just as important. As though conversations where people discuss characterizations and plot points and randomly spin out interpretations and ideas and thoughts related to canon are meaningless. I’ve even seen people scramble to include folks having these discussions as “creators,” as though realizing that these people are necessary and integral to fandom communities but unable to drop the idea that the producers are the ones who are important. As though that person who just lurks can never count.

Is this what community is? When you join the queer community, are you expected to produce a product of your queerness? If not, must you actively participate and give back to the queer community in order to be considered a part of it? Or is it enough that you are queer, that you exist as a queer person and want to be around others who are queer, you want to be a part of something? What is community, anyway?

The problem with people raising the authors above everyone else in the community and demanding that tribute be paid is that they are decrying the “content farm” style of 2024 website out of one side of their mouth, but out of the other side are instead demanding that AO3 become a 2024-style social media website. Authors are influencers. “Engagement” and clicks are the things that really matter. They are in fact suggesting that the way to solve the commodification of fanfic is by “paying authors back” with stats.

Before anyone comes at me with the idea that comments aren’t just “stats,” I will clarify what I mean. There are literally hundreds of posts on tumblr alone claiming that any comment “helps” the author. Someone replies that they are shy to comment. Someone else replies that incoherent keyboard smashes, a single emoji, or the comment “kudos” are all that is required to satisfy the author, all that is required as tribute—all that is required as payment to keep this economy healthy.

I’m not condemning the comments that are keyboard smashes or emojis or a single kind word. I receive them. They make me happy. If anyone wants to leave such a comment on my fics, I’m really grateful for it. But this is not community-building. This is a transaction. In @yiiiiiiiikes25’s excellent response in the post linked at the beginning, they point out that “you have a cool hat” is something that is “perfectly nice” to hear from someone—and it is! We all want to be told we have a cool hat! But as they go on to say, what builds community is interactions that are deep and specific, interactions that are rich in quality, not in quantity. A kudos or a comment that says only ❤️are lovely things to receive, but they don’t build community.

My reaction, when I see people begging for kudos and comments as the only means by which to keep fandom community alive, is very close to @eleadore's. I want to say, “No. Readers do not need to comment or kudos. Believe not these hucksters who claim to know the appropriate method of fandom participation. Participate as you feel able, or not at all; nothing is required of you.”

I’ve been told before (several times) that I’m not qualified to participate in such discussions because I am an established author who has some fics with very high stats. It doesn’t matter that I have also been a new writer with almost no one reading my fics. It doesn’t matter that I still write in new fandoms where no one in that fandom knows me. It doesn’t matter that I, like any human being, still care about receiving recognition and attention and praise.

And maybe that’s correct. I personally don’t think that billionaires have a place in deciding the direction of the economy, and--if we're really going to consider fandom an economy--in fandom terms, if I’m not a billionaire, or even a millionaire, I’m definitely in the infamous “one percent.” So, just as no one wants to hear Elon Musk say “money isn’t everything,” maybe it’s not my place to say “kudos isn’t required, actually.”

That said, I’m not the only one who has a problem with the stats-based discourse around fandom community. However, the main counter-response to this discussion I see goes something like this: you shouldn’t be writing fic for validation. If you’re writing for attention, you’re doing it for the wrong reason. Authors should write fic because they love it without any expectation of return.

This is, in my opinion, missing the point of what is meant by fandom community.

I wrote fanfic before I knew that fanfic, as a concept, existed. I read books; I wanted them to be different; I wrote little stories for myself with new endings, with self-inserts, with cross-overs, with alternate universes. I did it for myself in the 90s. It never occurred to me that anyone else would do this, much less that people would share.

As @faiell points out—creating and sharing are two different things. I created fics for myself, but I decided to share them in the early 2000s because other people might like them, too. And of course, I wanted to hear whether other people liked them. How could I not? I might decorate my home just for me and not for anyone else’s preferences, but when people come over and say my house is nice, how can I not enjoy that? And if a lot of people think my house is nice, which encourages me to post pictures of it online, isn’t it understandable I might do so with the hope that more people will say my house is nice? And, honestly, if no one is appreciating my pictures, I probably won’t continue to go through the trouble of taking them and posting them. I’ll just enjoy my house that I decorated without sharing, the end.

When I found out there were whole fannish communities where people discussed canon and tossed ideas around about it, made theories and prompts and insights into the characters, fics they had written and recs for other fics and analyses of fics and art based on fics and fics based on art—I wanted to be a part of that, too. Now, sometimes, I write fic not out of an internal need to do so but out of a desire to participate in that community.

The idea that we write fic only for the love of it, then post it only because we possess it, is a process entirely centered on the self. It’s fandom in a vacuum. The idea that we share this thing, that we feel pleasure if someone likes it but feel nothing at all if no one says anything about it, that it’s completely okay to be ignored and unseen—that’s not what a community is either. That’s some weird sort of self-aggrandizement through self-effacement—because yes, there is often a weird kind of virtue-signaling in this kind of discourse.

I say this as someone who has virtue-signaled in that way: “some people write for stats, but I write for myself.” It’s bullshit. Sure, I write for myself, but why post it on the internet? Honestly, said virtue has a whiff of the capitalist machine, which would like you to produce for the sake of production, work for the sake of work. The noblest among us expect no recompense for that which they give!

The reason that I’m bringing this back around to capitalism is that capitalism actively works to dismantle community. The reason that folks are out here pleading for “engagement” in order to “pay back” authors for the products they give us “for free” is because people no longer even have the language to discuss how to participate in meaningful community. And frankly, how to build back fandom community, in the face of enshittification, is getting harder and harder to see.

But I do think that if we value fanfic and the fanfic community, it’s really, really not constructive to judge whether someone’s reasons for writing fanfic are valid. It’s also weird to me that it would be considered wrong that someone’s reason for sharing fanfic is because they would like to receive some recognition for it, when in fact that seems to be the most natural reason in the world for sharing something so private and vulnerable with the world.

Let’s go back to that idea of how hurtful it is to find out your fanfic is trending on tiktok without anyone from tiktok saying anything to you about your fic, or how it can be painful to find out there’s a secret discord channel dedicated to your fic. The people who respond to that with, “Ah, but you shouldn’t be writing to get attention!” are missing the point. The fic did get attention. It got lots. Attention obviously wasn't why the writer was writing--they were writing to participate, and they didn't get to. At all.

However, if your conclusion is that the author was upset because these particular stats were not accruing under this author’s profile, thereby preventing them from achieving the vaunted status of BNF and influencer—I don’t know, maybe you’re right. But I don’t think that’s why I, personally, have been hurt by these things, and I doubt it’s what hurt the people in these posts either. They’re hurt because they want to participate, and they have been systematically excluded by the very people they thought were part of the community they thought they could participate in.

Sure, if those folks from tiktok and the discord server all came and showered the author with kudos and comments that said “kudos,” the author might have felt satisfied enough with the quantity of this recognition that they would continue writing. But in the end, this still does nothing to address the problem of fandom community, in which the deep, meaningful recognition, interactions, and relationships in fandom are getting harder and harder to have and to build, as a result of how people now expect to engage in online spaces.

So, how to address the problem of fandom community? You probably read this long, long post hoping that I had an answer, and for that I must apologize. I don’t have solutions. My intent was to be descriptive, rather than prescriptive. I wished to outline the problems that I’m seeing in what was hopefully a slightly new or at least thought-provoking way, rather than offer solutions.

But, now that I’m talking about being prescriptive, maybe I can offer one suggestion, which is—maybe the solution to this isn’t about prescribing behavior. I do understand the irony in writing a prescription saying we shouldn’t prescribe people, but I’m going to write it anyway:

Maybe we shouldn’t be telling anyone the appropriate reasons for writing fanfic or for sharing it. Maybe we shouldn’t be telling readers they need to kudos or need to comment. If we’re going to go pointing fingers, we should be pointing at the institutions of capitalism that have made the internet what it is today—but I don’t think that’s going to solve the problem either.

But I do think that describing this problem, understanding what it actually is, not blaming readers for it and not blaming authors for it—I do think that helps. The discussion I linked at the beginning of this post is what I think of as the fandom I miss, the fandom that's now harder and harder to access, the fandom that is dying. That fandom was a social space where people had opinions and disagreed and went back and forth and gazed at their navels and then talked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

In the words of @yiiiiiiiikes25, it was a fuckin’ discussion about hats. And we’re hungry for it.

[velvet4510]

Cherik fic recs

Here are my absolute favorite Cherik fanfics that I highly recommend to everyone! Most are set within canon, but there are a few brilliant AUs sprinkled throughout. Listed in alphabetical order by title. (I will update this as I find more.)

again and again and again and again by @darealsaltysam . Set post-First Class / pre-Days of Future Past. Charles beach divorce angst. (Also features Hank/Raven.)

All Our Stolen Summertimes by @sinspirefly (ongoing). Multi-chapter. Set post-First Class. Not entirely Days of Future Past-compliant. (Also features prominent Hank/Raven.)

As Strong as Death by Anath Tsurugi. Set during Days of Future Past. (Old Erik and young Erik talk about Charles!)

As They Kiss, Consume by sherwoodfox. Explicit. Multi-chapter. Set during and post-First Class.

be my baby by floatingflowers (ongoing). Multi-chapter. Set during the First Class Gay Mutant Road Trip.

Beautiful Crime by BLehnsherr & Mstrikout. Explicit. Multi-chapter no-powers AU in which Erik is married to Magda and they are parents to Nina, Charles is married to Moira and they are parents of two, and Charles & Erik are swept up in a passionate affair. (Contains adultery. Also features Erik/Magda and Charles/Moira.)

Beautiful Dreamer by WaxRhapsodic. Multi-chapter AU in which Nina survives. Set during, and then diverges from, Apocalypse. (Also features prominent Dadneto and overall Magnet Family, mama Raven & son Kurt, brief Erik/Magda, brief Charles/Moira, background Hank/Raven, background Ororo/Peter, alternate origin story for David.)

The blood of his heart by TomStr1d3r. Set during the First Class Gay Mutant Road Trip.

Blood Runs Thicker by @swordsandsadness. Multi-chapter. Set post-Apocalypse. Not Dark Phoenix-compliant. (Also features Dadneto and Jean/Scott.)

Bound and its direct sequel Hitched by FuryRed. Explicit. Multi-chapter still-have-powers AU where Charles and Erik are exes who reunite at Raven and Azazel’s wedding. (Also features Azazel/Raven and brief Charles/Logan.)

But for you I’d leave it all by Pangea. Explicit. Multi-chapter no-powers AU where Charles is a member of nobility about to enter an arranged marriage and Erik is the jeweler hired to create the wedding rings for his childhood friend who he’s still in love with.

For all the points of the compass, there’s only one direction by Sotano. Set during the dark future in the Rogue Cut of Days of Future Past. (Old Cherik)

francis forever by cowboy_like_me12. Set post-First Class / pre-Days of Future Past. More Charles beach divorce angst.

Glitter Bombs and Chess Matches by xXQueenofDragonsXx. Post-Apocalypse AU in which Nina is alive and she, Charles, Erik, and Peter live together as a family. (Dadneto/Magnet Family centric.)

Have Some Faith by @roseghoul26 . Multi-chapter. Set during the First Class Gay Mutant Road Trip.

Isn’t It Extraordinary? by frau_kali. Explicit. Set during the First Class Gay Mutant Road Trip.

The King of Second Chances by @luninosity . Set during the First Class Gay Mutant Road Trip.

Last Days of Spring by Penguina. Multi-chapter no-powers AU in which Charles and Erik fall in love after a one-night stand, but Erik is keeping multiple secrets that will change everything. (Contains adultery. Also features background Erik/Magda.)

Looking Forwards (Backwards) by @allourheroes. Set post-Days of Future Past in the new future. (Also features Jean as Cherik’s “daughter.”)

Love by @apolesen . Set post-First Class. More Charles beach divorce angst.

Magnetism and Mendings by @mayamidge . Multi-chapter. Set post-First Class. Not Days of Future Past-compliant. (Dadneto-centric with brief Erik/Magda.)

A Million Miles Ahead of Us by CharryWotter. Multi-chapter. Set post-Apocalypse. Not Dark Phoenix-compliant. (Dadneto-centric. Also features prominent mama Raven & son Kurt.)

Monster by Garonne. Set post-Days of Future Past. Not Apocalypse-compliant.

(Nearly) Lost and Finally Found by @swordsandsadness (ongoing). Multi-chapter. Set post-Dark Phoenix. (Contains a failed suicide attempt.)

A New Place to Be From by @veevil and @nyang-cheng (ongoing). Multi-chapter no-powers Siren AU in which Erik is a siren in a pesticide-poisoned lake, which is being investigated by Charles, who is a biologist. (Also features Hank/Raven).

Plaid shirt days (A Cherik Gilmore Girls AU) by @star-lights-up (ongoing). Multi-chapter no-powers Gilmore Girls AU. (Also features Jean/Scott and Hank/Raven.)

The road to redemption by onomatopoetikon. Multi-chapter. Set during Days of Future Past.

The road to salvation by onomatopoetikon. Multi-chapter. Set during First Class.

Rumination by grim_lupine. Set during First Class.

sailor song by @penmarks (ongoing). Multi-chapter. Explicit. Set during First Class.

Same As It Ever Was (The Road to Recovery Remix) by listerinezero. Set post-Days of Future Past. Not Apocalypse-compliant.

savor every second together by pyroallerdyce. Explicit. 5-part series set post-Days of Future Past. Not Apocalypse-compliant. (Also features prominent Dadneto and overall Magnet Family, mama Raven & son Kurt, past Erik/Magda, and Cherik being parental figures to young Jean & Ororo.)

Say, It’s Only a Paper Moon by pleistocene88. Set during First Class.

Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine by frau_kali. Set during the First Class Gay Mutant Road Trip.

sing me to sleep by pocky_slash. Set during the dark future and revised timeline of Days of Future Past. (Old Cherik)

Steal Some Time and Start Again by @nathanbellamy. Multi-chapter AU in which Peter takes some of Hank’s serum during the Pentagon breakout. Set during, and then diverges from, Days of Future Past. (Dadneto-centric.)

tie up your thoughts and lay them down on me by joshriku. Set post-Days of Future Past. Not Apocalypse-compliant.

Turtlenecks and Promises by @charlesxavierthetelepath . Set post-First Class / pre-Days of Future Past. More Charles beach divorce angst.

We Met At The Park by starrose17. Explicit. Multi-chapter no-powers AU in which Charles is a rent boy, Erik is a banker, and they fall in love, but Charles’ dark past returns to haunt them both. (Sadly this has been deleted from Ao3, but is still available on LiveJournal, so the link will take you to the first chapter, then each chapter has a link to the next one.)

A Wedding Planner Walks Into a Bar by 1sttimefeeling. Explicit. Multi-chapter no-powers AU in which Raven hires Erik to be the bartender at her and Hank’s wedding, and Erik quickly falls for the wedding planner, Charles, whom he mistakenly assumes is the groom.

What died didn’t stay dead, you’re alive in my head. by @star-lights-up (ongoing). Multi-chapter First Class / Doctor Strange / Loki / Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. / Deadpool & Wolverine crossover AU in which Charles and Shaw’s consciousnesses merge after the coin scene and the team seek out the TVA for multiversal help to save Charles. (Also features Hank/Raven.)

When You Leave (I’m Lonely) by HarperRose. Set post-Days of Future Past. Not Apocalypse-compliant.

Wrap You In Dreams Of Me by askaniblue. Multi-chapter. Set post-The Last Stand. (Old Cherik)

you can hear it in the silence (on the way home, with the lights out) by @ch3rry (ongoing). Multi-chapter no-powers The Sound of Music AU.

[ifyoucandaniel]

exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)

cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.

Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.

buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))

Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!

Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!

Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️

If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3

The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family

The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-

something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3

catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!

hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics

[moonpascaltoo]

Fic Recs (steve harrington)

just some of my favorite one-shots or series i’ve read on ao3 and few from tumblr. all works ranging from 1.5k to 30k+ i believe. 18+ readers!

some have a tumblr that i tagged, but others i couldn’t find . i am doing this on mobile which is a bit difficult haha! i read these all (except 2) on ao3 so the links will be ao3. i know some are here on tumblr but i didn’t realize till after reading and making this! <3

steve harrington

come home by @stevie-petey <3💕

-"come home to me, okay?"

"always," steve promises

in between saving will, then hawkins, then somehow the world, you fall in love with steve harrington.

(a stranger things rewrite).

dancing with our hands tied by @andvys

-You and Steve have never seen eye to eye, and it never changed, not even when you were pulled into a world of monsters and risked your life to save him. But tension had always been between you both, something that neither of you ever wanted to admit -- but how much longer can you take it when the pull between you gets stronger and stronger each second you spend by each others side?

paint me red by eddiemunsons ao3

-You're one of Vickie's best friends. Her girlfriend, Robin, is in need of a distraction for her best friend, Steve Harrington, who you vaguely remember from school. Which is where you come in.

i’m your idiot by thebestandworstdayofjune ao3 @thebestandworstdayofjune

-Steve Harrington has a way of worming himself into your heart, and social situations you had done your best to exclude him from.

small hands, big heart by finalgirlharrington ao3 @sexybabystevie

-Steve Harrington has a massive crush on you, but his recent lack of luck in the romantic sense has him stuck on how to make a move. Plus, something about you makes him nervous in a way he's never been – in a way he likes. His simplest solution? Flirting via the old 'comparing hand sizes' method.

promise by Harley_Honey_Quinn ao3

-Reader learns about Steve's feelings thanks to some Russian truth serum.

kiss me by @corrodedseraphine

-Your friend is desperately trying to find a person who will give him something more. Wanting to feel what it's like to be loved again and after many failed dates he gets the idea that it's time to go back to King Steve's famous tactics. Telling him that it's not the best idea gets you involved in a deal where you have to help him get another girl. Will helping the boy you're in love with turn out to be a good idea? Probably not.

every rose has its thorn by @corrodedseraphine

-Christmas is coming to Hawkins. It is a time of joy and forgiveness. It turns out that your sister's best friend is looking for a new place to live, and you happen to have a spare room in the apartment. It wouldn't be a problem if that friend wasn't Steve Harrington. A man whom the more you try to avoid even more often comes back like a boomerang.

hearts on the telephone line by t_lostinworlds ao3 @t-lostinworlds

-You thought Steve was okay dealing with a long-distance relationship after you moved for an exciting internship in New York. But you were proven so wrong when your boyfriend finally poured his feelings over the phone. Because distance wasn't making his heart grow fonder, it was breaking it.

competitively stupid by t_lostinworlds ao3 @t-lostinworlds

-It was stupid, jumping off a cliff just to prove that you were better than Steve fucking Harrington. But you were competitive. You were not losing to him. But you know what was stupider? For it to take a near-death situation for you both to confess what you truly feel for each other.

perfect blend by Your_Writer ao3

-No one likes their summer job. Working at a coffee shop was sticky, exhausting, and overall boring. In fact, the highlight of your day was the charming, gentle eyed sailor scooping USS Butterscotch just across the way.

the things we don’t say by rdrickheffley ao3

-Steve Harrington once was the bane of Y/n's existence. He had always been an arrogant asshole and a terrible kisser. She never understood how others fell for the boy's eye-roll worthy charm. Now it seems like he will do anything to prove her wrong about anything.

next time? by rdrickheffley ao3

-Three instances where Steve and reader find themselves in intimate situations.

candyfloss and confessions by ACourtofSnakesandStars ao3

-You’ve been in love with Steve Harrington for years, like every cliche come to life. You’ve battled monsters, found friends within kids with superpowers, and you even managed to graduate. Yet the one thing you’ve never been able to do, is tell Steve how you feel. But maybe you don’t need to wait any longer.

a night to remember by RaeWrites94 ao3

-Steve has to attend his 10 year high school reunion and somehow manages to convince you to go as his date and his fake girlfriend. You've had feelings for him for a long time, but figure, why not? You could probably survive an evening of pretending he liked you back and come out unscathed. Right?

with bated breath by brianmay ao3

-Rumors fly after you attend Steve Harrington’s party one weekend in September. Thinking they were his doing, you do everything in your power to avoid him, which proves easier said than done.

cross my heart (and hope to die) by @talesofesther

-Every time Steve gets hurt, you're there to help pick up the pieces; you just weren't expecting him to fall for you in the process.

tales of a love between the lines by @talesofesther

-Sometimes the thing we want most is right in front of us, and Steve might be just that for you; all you have to do is see what he’s been showing you for a long time.

love is easy by seidenbros ao3

-The day you wrote I love you on a post-it note before you'd said the words out loud, and it's the best note Steve ever got.

everything means nothing if i can’t have you by iridescentpetrichor ao3

-Steve and Y/N go on a double date to impress the other one, but it's only so long until the tension between the two breaks.

you’re not by frostandflames ao3 @frostandflamesfanfic

-The year is 1985, you're on a school field trip to cheer on Hawkins High at the championship game before spring break. When the game doesn't pan out as expected, you're even more surprised to discover the one and only Steve Harrington in only his underwear at your hotel room after being locked out by his teammates. What happens when the two of you have a little heart to heart?

last christmas by frostandflames ao3 @frostandflamesfanfic

-You and Steve had always been childhood friends-and remained that way. As Steve ping-pongs around in his relationship status, you have a hard time keeping your feelings to himself as Nancy surrounds his entire world. What Steve doesn't know is his relationship to Nancy may end your own with Steve.

the scoundrel and the princess by @mrshipsmcgee

-after an awkward run in with Tommy Hagan, Steve Harrington is invited to an awful party where he meets a beautiful stranger.

cling by aloevera

-For as long as you could remember, you and Steve have been close. What others see as clingy, Steve sees as comforting, right? Or, you fell in love with your best friend and suddenly, everything is too much.

[flyingwargle]

august fanfic recommendations!

this is indeed going to be a series. check out july's recommendations!

(also, feel free to give me recs! i'm kind of picky, but i promise to look at what you suggest before adding it to my 80 tabs of fics hehe. rec your own fics if you want 😎)

some of these fics are rated e!

sakuatsu

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too) t. 6.1k. sakusa gets hung up on the idea of indirect kissing and indirect hand holding and becomes enamored by the idea of holding atsumu's hand. lovely prose, sakusa is insane in this (affectionate) and atsumu is very loving.

Watching You for Love t. 6.6k. sakusa moonlights as a dj and atsumu finds him out. THIS FIC!! amazing prose and imagery, and sakusa falling for atsumu is also beautiful. please give it a shot <3

Hall Pass t. 6.8k. sakusa and atsumu discuss one another's hall passes and sakusa gets hung up on why atsumu's is saeko. i admit, i still don't know what a hall pass is despite reading this, but it depicts a somewhat jealous sakusa and saeko kissing atsumu, which is more than i could ever ask for.

atsumu, atsumu, let down your hair t. 7.1k. sakusa and atsumu move from fwb to being in a relationship but it's hard to be domestic after being physical. we love healthy communication in a relationship in this house.

the 28 postcards you left me t. 8.3k. after breaking up, atsumu leaves postcards for sakusa in animal crossing. this hurt to read, especially with how in love they were, until they weren't. there's a happy ending, though <3

The Jacket In Your Closet t. 8.6k. once upon a time, atsumu gave sakusa his newly purchased jacket because he saw him uncomfortable in a crowd. atsumu's forgotten about it but sakusa never did (and continues to have a crush on him).

stuck between a rock hard place, or something m. 10.4k. atsumu starts popping boners whenever sakusa opens his mouth. hilariously written and sweet <3 this made me so glad that i like girls because the way sakusa is described here is just. wow. he really is attractive. good for atsumu.

Situated Motionless in the Center of the Heavens t. 15.1k. "For a very long time, Atsumu could barely stand Sakusa. And can you really blame him? It’s Sakusa, the human equivalent of the feeling you get when you bite into a chocolate chip cookie and realize with profound disappointment that it’s actually oatmeal raisin instead." if that doesn't convince you, just know that atsumu is dense af but he ends up realizing his love in the end.

From Afar t. 17.4k. i could probably make a list of skts fics where sakusa has some kind of ability and intends to keep everyone at arm's length until miya atsumu ruins everything. the ability that sakusa has in this is unique and plays into his mysophobic tendencies beautifully. the way he and atsumu compromise with his gift is a delight as well. just beautifully written overall <3

Again, until it's perfect. t. 18.2k. sakusa and atsumu accidentally pull off a minus tempo quick and they start practicing it. i read this after situated motionless in the center of the heavens, and let me tell you - going from dense atsumu to dense sakusa is so, so good. they're so dumb, i love them /affectionate

One Track Mind m. 18.8k. suna and osamu publicly break up and sakusa is left wondering if it's a good time to tell atsumu that he loves him. hilarious, introspective, with some spice. a perfect blend for an excellent fic <3

In Pursuit of Happiness t. 19.1k. modern magic au where sakusa works at a magic shop after selling his happiness, and atsumu is a pest trying to make him feel happy again. lovely worldbuilding and slowburn!

Better Find Another Superstition t. 21.3k. 7/7. another modern magic au where sakusa and atsumu are forced to work together to resolve an issue with the city's magic supply. hilarious prose, and very light-hearted with a cool magic system in the background. one of my favorites <3

how can I not be moved (by you) t. 26.4k. 3/3. an achingly beautiful magic au where sakusa runs an apothecary and atsumu is a warlock. the worldbuilding is rich and the slow burn is delicious. absolutely beautiful and fluffy <3

pascal's wager t. 34.1k. 6/6. a sakusa character study and his obsession with superstition from atsumu's pov. beautiful writing, lovely wingmen to help atsumu (gourd bless osamu, akaashi, and bokuto) and lovely prose <3

the awful daring of a moment's surrender m. 34.2k. 7/7. in which sakusa lies to himself that he wants nothing with atsumu but atsumu is persistent. beautiful prose (i read so much of this writer's works, they're all so good) and lovely ending <3

Teach Me, Tune Me, Tempt Me e. 38.8k. 10/10. sakusa asks atsumu to teach him about the many firsts needed to enter his first relationship. oh, the pining, the angst, and of course the smut was on point.

sunaosa

working backwards till it rhymes t. 4.2k. gin congratulates suna and osamu on their anniversary, except they aren't dating. or are they? hilarious prose and premise, absolutely loved it.

reasons to microwave an elixir t. 8.2k. university au, modern magic au, roommates to lovers galore. i absolutely loved the prose and how sunaosa developed over the fic. definitely one of my favorites!

you never have to wander, wonder t. 22.6k. suna is the cameraman for the twins' buzzfeed-like worth it youtube series. lovely, lovely pining and prose.

iwaoi

What spring does with the cherry trees e. 7k. pwp with lovely prose and so much love between iwa and oikawa. reading it made me feel soft and fluffy.

galaxies, within you t. 21.1k. makki and mattsun are the absolute best in this. i love the seijoh4's banter and friendship, and how iwa and oikawa eventually confess their feelings for each other. the prose is hilarious and beautiful!

bokuaka

35mm t. 20.9k. 3/3. another fic where akaashi and bokuto slowly fall in love through high school but more movies, akaashi is a movie buff, and lovely prose <3

other

but i am strong (strong enough to carry him) t. 5.3k. atsumu gets a call that osamu has a breakdown and he, aran, and suna comfort him. a beautiful brotherly fic and the helping hands around osamu.

A Full Stomach g. 6.9k. kageyama notices that hinata is eating less and less these days and intervenes. hinata protection squad arise! so much fluff to the hurt, my son deserves everything that karasuno gives him <3

if it's me, it'll be okay t. 9.1k. yachi discovers she's aromantic and goes through it. also, she's best friends with sakusa and it's the best thing ever. a lovely exploration of aromanticism, please give it a shot <3

city's on fire t. 10.5k. cyberpunk au where the twins can hack into memories and rewrite them. the worldbuilding is unique and the twins' relationship is achingly tender but painful with a happy ending.

An Opponent Is Announced g. 13.1k. sakusa has no idea who oikawa is while the rest of the jnt does, hence commencing a (non-serious) investigation into him. love the character dynamics and plot, just a fun, light-hearted read.

a best man's worst problems t. 14.1k. kagehina. tsukishima is asked to be kageyama's best man at his wedding and to give a wedding speech. lovely outsider pov of kagehina's blooming relationship through the years from one very exasperated salty dinosaur.

Safe & Sound t. 17.3k. 5 times kitagawa daiichi ignored kageyama's suffering and 1 time karasuno didn't. oh boy, this hit me in the face with the ANGST and then the comfort. emotionally prepare yourself for this (i wasn't, and my heart shattered in a million pieces).

Common side effects m. 89.9k. 16/16. kuroken. THIS FIC WAS SO GOOD. kuroo is a depressed 30 year old reconnecting with kenma after 3 years of silence. it depicts the monotony and depression of adulthood so well, and the cast is so loving and supportive of kuroo while he was going through it. please give this a shot <3

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

hey my gf wants me to get into HDG. what works would you recommend starting with?

Well recommendations depend a lot on the individual, like I wouldn't toss Wellness Check and Independence is Easy to the same person. How comfortable are you with non-con? How hard do you like the sci-fi? Do you want a character that's a bad person and gets broken into a soft pet, or someone softer being ensared by an affini's mechanizations?

Some recs, a brief synopsis, and their strong and weak points:

Wellness Check - NEET Shut-in hacker girl who's kind of just abrasive gets domesticated. Lots of memory play type stuff, digitization, and overall v cute. Very Ace in it's kink.

Independence is Easy - Independent Terran with only some maladaptive traits gets absolutely manipulated and unraveled into non-personhood. (A form of) Doll kink, lots of sex, kink, and good if you like stuff on the harsher side.

The Original - Hard to beat this in a lotta aspects. It's got the setting typical feral breaking, still one of the best contract scenes in the entire setting, and while it's level of non-con isn't as typical, it establishes what you can expect well. Theres a few chapters on Read Only Mind past the rewrite on AO3 if u want.

Divaricated - This was the most popular work in the setting for a long, long time, and for good reason. Outside of maybe Abscission, no fic established as much of the setting as Divaricated did. Softer on the feral breaking, and more focuses on domestication being something thats inevitable, a natural function of of an Affini and a Xenosophont being exposed to eah other. Also perhaps the most sci-fi leaning fic in the setting. The only real downside it's also crazy long, the second longest in the setting. Ace in it's Kink.

Cross-Pollination - The most above board consent wise fic on this list, this is about an actor and a former war hero playing fake pets for propaganda, when things get... more involved. Good length, but not long, very sweet, and a personal favorite.

One Analysts Opinion - Havent actually read this one, but it's lauded as one of the best newer fics for introducing readers to the setting, and we've seen it compared to Cross-Pollination, premise-wise. It details the actual fall of the Accord more than any other fic out there, and has, from what I understand, very excellent kink to boot.

And I'm legally obligated to mention Dog of War - While we can't fully say this is the best intro around simply due it being the longest fic in the entire setting, it is also the most popular. It doesn't really front load a lot of setting info on the reader all at once, but it does present them. We've been told that it's on the softer side non-con wise, but IDK about that. There's a good amount of straight up non-con, and a lot of manipulation. Primarily, this one is about a nervous youngbloom learning to be an Affini, and a living weapon learning to be human.

Of course, if you have anything for us to base recommendations on, we can offer an entirely different slate of fics. You can honestly click on anything on the first like 3 pages sorted by Kudos and find something excellent, and there's plenty of gems all throughout the tag.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Aug 31st

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1. Just wondering if there is a fic out there where jwy wakes up during the core transfer to realise what is going on and refuses the surgery?

There are quite a few No Core Transfer fics but has anyone read or written something like this? Would love for Jwy to know how much he is loved without wwx ripping himself apart for it

Please and thank you 💝💝💝 @theladypeartree

~*~

2. Hello, thank you for this opportunity! Does anyone know of any fics where the characters look or act unusually young for their age due to cultivation/golden core strength? Like, they are treated as children longer because they have an overall longer life expectancy? Or fics which explore how cultivation affects the life expectancies of cultivators in general? Thank you so much!

🔒the inconstancy of moths by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Reincarnation, Moth Spirit WWX, Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining)

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3. the world needs more canon compliant/divergent sub/bottom lwj. please provide with your favorites, thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes) I can't recall for sure as it's been a while since I read it, but I think this fic has LWJ bottoming

🔒Blessed is The New Moon by Anonymous (E, 9k, WangXian, Bad Sex, Good Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Porn with Feelings) Nie Huaisang gifts the boys some lube as a joke which leads to a revelation. A fair amount of angst for the premise but HEA.

~*~

4. Currently desperately craving some really really long wangxian! Over 100k please, canon dynamics preferred, and the bit that's hardest to filter for: no extensive positive inclusion of Jiang Cheng. I'm more open to cr!era stuff with him as a secondary character but adult JC particularly I would like mostly off-screen. @strinak

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) Not sure if this one hits the 'no positive JC portrayal' criteria. He's in the early chapters as it starts during CRSA & he does get whacked with a clue-by-four a couple of times so he's sliiiightly less entitled, but he's still a cranky jerk & after the guest disciples leave he barely appears (I also haven't read the last 3 chapters, set during SSC, so no idea on his portrayal in those)

~*~

5. hello! for the next ITMF, fics where WWX adopts XY and shows him what kindness is? Kind of like those YillingWei AUs where XY becomes WWX's disciple (please rec some lesser known ones if you know of any, I feel like I've read all of the popular ones already), thank you!!

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6. I'm in a mood for some good Apocalypse AUs. I like happy endings but since it's apocalypses it might not be feasible so perhaps no brutal endings, if you know what I mean? Like make me cry my eyes out but not from despair/unhopefulness? Also please no Non-Con/Rape, at least not with main pair and not explicit 🙏

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 (M, 277k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Zombie Apocalypse, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Accidental Baby Acquisition During a Zombie Apocalypse, Junior Quartet, (except they’re all babies), Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Ensemble Cast, Worst Zombie Fighting Team Ever, Found Family) Amazing Zombie AU

Darkness Before the Dawn by Selenay (E, 64k, wangxian, Zombie Apocalypse, Modern With Magic, Necromancer WWX, Reunions, toddler A-Yuan, There Was Only One Bed, There are zombies but not graphically horrific zombies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Find a home in the middle of an apocalpyse)

when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations) this fic jumps around in time so only part of it is During the Apocalypse, but highly recommend this fic

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7. Wangxian fluff. Pls😭😭😭just them married fluff.😭😭😭😭km traumatized. Pls. Just loads of happiness @honestlyewww

A Lifetime of It (Please, and Thank You) by misscam (M, 5k, WangXian, Wedding, a mix of series and novel, Humor, Fluff, Angst, some naughtiness, Switching)

coop d'état by wolfsan11 (G, 4k, WangXian, Fluff and Humor, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Chickens, WWX-centric, Post-Canon Modao Zushi Novel, Married WangXian, therapy chickens)

Dear Hanguang-Jun by cavaleira (M, 8k, WangXian, background ZhuiLing, Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, Post-Canon)

Where the Lonely Ones Go by CSHfic, VSfic (T, 23k, WangXian, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Case Fic, Night Hunts, Fluff, Established Relationship, Mystery, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Haunting, Kid Fic, Post-Canon, gratuitous use of empathy)

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8. Thank you for this amazing blog!! I am actually ITMF fics where LWJ initially misunderstands WWX and is pretty rude/cruel/hurtful to him which contributes to WWX whump(essentially him being super hurt yet still trying to act as if everything is okay or so). I have read a couple of fics with this trope but I don’t know how to find more so it would really great if you could recommend some fics along these lines. Thank you!!!

Couldn't Scream Couldn't Shout by mermorgie (T, 42k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & WWX, JZX & WWX, WWX & NHS, LWJ & NHS, WIP, Not for JC stans, Muteness, Sign Language, references to selective mutism, Homophobic JC, canon JC characteristics, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Pining, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Supportive Sibling LXC, JZX Tries, LQR Tries, Protective JZX, Scheming NHS, Bisexual JZX, LWJ is Bad at Communicating, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Jiang Family Bashing)

🔒 Warming up (to him) by barisan (T, 9k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Hypothermia, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Temporary Character Death, Medical Inaccuracies, YZY Abuses WWX, JFM Bashing, pre-wangxian, Good Uncle LQR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, background NieLan, background QingMian, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation, Background XuanLi)

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Teen Wangxian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, No Sunshot Campaign) they both misunderstand each other but it's lowk Lan Wangji’s fault 😭

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9. Hi! I’m itmf fics where it’s assumed that lan yuan is wei wuxian or lan wangji’s child or both. Thanks

Wei Wuxian, God of Fertility by tired (T, 19k, WangXian, Family Feels, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, the juniors get REAL drunk, Gossip, POV Multiple, surprisingly not an mpreg fic, Kissing, Self-Esteem Issues, Discussion of Porn and Sex, Post-Canon, SOFT SOFT SOFT, married wangxian, Fluff and Humor, PSA: touching forehead ribbons gets you pregnant)

Lan Yuan's War by BurningTea (G, 196k, LSZ & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, WangXian, LWJ & WQ, WIP, Time Travel, Dad LWJ, Sunshot Campaign, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Rumours, Lots of rumours about LWJ, several people worry about LWJ, CQL Verse, Mental Health Issues, LWJ is very much not okay, Time travel has consequences, Sick LWJ) if the requester doesn't mind WIPs.

sing to the clouds in summer by stiltonbasket (G, 28k, JC & WWX, JC & JL, wangxian, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, 13k words of JC figuring out that LSZ is his nephew, ft. LXC and NHS the overprotective uncles, and LWJ giving JC death glares, Family Secrets, Reconciliation, Sad JC, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, [Podfic] sing to the clouds in summer by read_by_Sophie (Sophie))

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10. Hello! I just finished reading "The Blame Game" and am itmf for any wangxian fics where someone who isn't Lan Zhan or Wei Wuxian time travels and fixes canon. Thank you!

Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor) The Juniors time travel (though it ends with the fixing canon merely implied as something that will happen)

Resilience. by Vrishchika (T, 7k, wangxian, time travel, not JC friendly, golden core transfer fix-it) JC time travels in this one, though it's less about him fixing things & more trying to make things how he thinks they should've gone & failing

💖 With Surgical Precision by metisket (T, 20k, WQ & WN, WQ & WWX, WangXian, Time Travel, Families of Choice, sibling bonding through murder) WQ time travel

Back To The River (So Learn To Swim) by kalany (M, 83k, CSSR/JFM/WCZ/YZY, JYL/JZX, WangXian, Fix-it fic, self-reincarnation, going back to try again, autotransmigration, time travel adjacent, Pregnancy, access to appropriate obstetrics care, Childbirth, lots of childbirth, there are so many children, Unplanned Pregnancy, but they are very much wanted, but it's discussed to make sure, Polyamory, Polygamy, survival sex, unwanted pregnancy ending in termination, abortion as victory, this fic has an agenda and it is access to reproductive health care, on-page death of a child, Murder of a Child, But he deserves it, it's XY if that matters, WRH doing WRH things, JGS doing JGS things, calling JGS a rapist, which he is and we're going to use that word in this fic, non-explicit discussion of sexual assault, Sexual Coercion, brief glimpse of sexual assault, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Sexism, most of the people in this fic are coded non-neurotypical, asexual JC, bisexual JFM, bisexual YZY, Bisexual CSSR, bisexual WCZ, falling in love when you don't expect it, does it count as found family when it's your husband​, Sect Heir JYL) is YZY time travel where she fixes everything (or most things) featuring sect heir JYL and eventual YZY/JFM/CSR/WCZ polycule

Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WWX & WN & WQ, JC & WWX, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Dark, BAMF WWX, mentions of abuse, Not Everyone Dies au, XY doesn’t have a happy ending) Another WQ time travel one

Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing) LQR time travel

And They Lived Happily Ever After… by Morgana_avalon (G, 51k, WangXian, Zhuiling, Time Travel Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Canon Related, set before the ambush happens at Qiongqi Path, Canon Divergence, Bunnies, Good brother JC, Good JZX, CQL Verse)

Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

❤️ nevermore, nevermore by agloeian (T, 120k, lan sizhui & everyone, wangxian, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst w/ happy ending)

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 73k, WangXian, YZY/CSSR/MDM Lan, MingLi, Time Travel, EXTREME Canon Divergence, Wide Focus Narrative, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Most Named/Canon Characters Live, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Families of Choice, Parenthood, this work contains a major tonal shift, Fluff, Angst, Underage Sex, not particularly explicit, but not at all ambiguous, PTSD, Only a tiny bit, Unforeseeable consequences, The butterfly effect, Slightly Dark JYL, Asexual Characters, but that’s not really the focus, Canon-Typical Violence)

🔒💖 The blame game by apathyinreverie (T, 13k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, WWX & WQ, LXC & WWX, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, possessive LWJ, oblivious WWX, fluff, siblings, romance, golden core reveal, golden core fix-it)

Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Families of Choice, Original Supporting characters, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession) Jiang Cheng goes back to when he lost his core and fixes everything. The author Meyari also has various other character time travel fixes in other fics, Meng Yao and Su She and I think others, but those are even more divergent

Back in time by Liebing23 (T, 32k, WangXian, Time Travel, Alternate Timelines, Fix-It of Sorts, Angst, Family Feels, Good Kid LSZ, LSZ Needs a Hug, Sad JL, JL Needs a Hug) the juniors time travel and fix some stuff!

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11. hi! I love this blog, I've found so many great fics and hidden gems just from scrolling through past ITMF posts! For the next ITMF, are there any fics similar to a paper friend by soft_wanning? just any fics where wwx is lost as a paperman and lwj helps him find his way back to lotus pier and that's how they meet

stray cat strut by ScarlettStorm (E, 54k, WangXian, No War AU, the world's least mysterious casefic, Comedy, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, a disgusting amount of magically necessary forehead smooches, switch rights) Wwx is cat, not paper man, but I found the vibes to be very similar and suuuper cute

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12.

Hi, I’m in the Mood for a Fic in which abusers get severe consequences or the system/traditions are challenged (with great success). If possible, some of the following scenarios:

Wei Wuxian has enough of getting whipped for no valid reason and starts standing up for himself (not just verbally, and especially NOT just talking back while still accepting punishment) but by attacking back or some other form of brutal revenge. 

a modern AU where jiang yanli and/or jiang cheng cut off contact with their parents for their treatment, anything where they put themselves and their brother above their abusive parents

Lan Zhan does not accept his punishment and kills(or at least successfully fights off) any elder that attempts to whip him. 

Lan Zhan or Lan Xichen destroys the wall of rules and makes the sect more friendly for all

someone invents democracy and various sect leaders are voted out - can be crack or serious

anyone going against “that’s how it’s always been” / “that’s how it’s supposed to be” and winning against all opposition, I’m ok with the character being OOC/more powerful than makes sense, 

basically anything where bad people are punished for being bad even if it doesn’t make sense because of their social standing

I will be grateful for any recs, thank you :) @hushtalks

The Wrong Man by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 125k, WangXian, Sect Leader LWJ, Evil JGS, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal) LWJ becomes sect leader & uses his new power to reform the sect's rules & approach to discipline, & the plot is basically The Bad Characters Get Punished

Work of Heart by Witch_Nova221 (T, 17k, WangXian, Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, soft romance, Artist WWX, Musician LWJ, College/University, Modern, Roommates, Friends to Lovers, Family Drama, Emotional Manipulation, Financial Issues, Bad Parent YZY) The Jiangs lose business deals because of their abuse of Wei Wuxian

🔒 Step by step by apathyinreverie (T, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, JFM and YZY Bashing, not particularly Jiang family friendly, Guilt, Fluff, past angst, Flashbacks, Protective LWJ, Soft WWX, adorable a-yuan, Friendship, Family, Getting Together, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff) The Jiangs lose business deals because of their abuse of Wei Wuxian

Meet you at a different place by tawaen (M, 57k, WQ & WN, WN & MXY & WQ, WQ & WWX & WN, Eventual WangXian, Ghost General WN, Ghost WQ, Canon Divergence, WQ comes back to haunt the cultivation world, Bad idea to kill the one person who didn’t kill anyone, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Wen Remnants Deserve Better, Sīsī Deserves Better, MXY Deserves Better, POV WQ) Wen Qing's ghost gets revenge against those that wronged her family & Wei Wuxian

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 146k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP) is a time travel fic where Lan Wangji destroys the wall of disciplines and he & Wei Wuxian change the world for the better.

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13. Hello! I was wondering if you have any good recs with protective/overprotective Lan Zhan who will be dammed if he lets anything happen to Wei Ying ever again?

Also I just wanted to say you’re incredible and I genuinely appreciate all the work you do for us poor Wangxian fans!

🔒 Revenge is a Side Dish Best Served With Tea by merakily (G, 7k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Protective LWJ, Petty LWJ, Fluff and Humor)

💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, wangxian, protective LWJ, genius LWJ, post-canon, fluff & humor, getting together, chief cultivator LWJ)

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 82k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒 As good as by apathyinreverie (T, 6k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, not a good uncle LQR story, but also not not?, Golden Core Reveal, Kind Of, Golden Core Fix-It, Also kind of, Addiction, Manipulation, not between wangxian, just...War politics, Sunshot Campaign, Not As Dark As The Tags Make It Sound, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Tired WWX, Genius WWX, Dual Cultivation, LQR is too old for teenage drama, Developing Relationship)

my rivers tilt towards you by perfectlyrose (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Fairy Tale Elements, dragonji, mentions of, Madam Yu’s A+ Parenting, First Meetings, Romance, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort)

🔒 Heart of hearts series by apathyinreverie (M, 40k, WangXian, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It Kind Of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, ridiculously self-indulgent, Not Cultivation World Friendly)

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14, Hi! I read "By the emperor's decree - sweetlolixo" and am itmf fics where people have the mindset "wangji is a serious child, always has been" "Lan wangji doesn't smile or have fun" and all variations where most everyone even Lan zhan's family are sorta intimidated and kept at arm's length by his blank face and then they see him with Wei Wuxian and get the surprise of their lifetime cuz then he's smiling, joking, not punishing for rule breaking seriously, being just as shameless and working to fluster Wei wuxian more as well as proud to show off all the marks he leaves on his husband. It could be any AU!

By Heart by Meseem (T, 28k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, amnesiac time-traveler lwj, POV LWJ) iirc in one chapter Lan Xichen is surprised by Lan Wangji admitting that he likes Wei Wuxian, and overall a bunch of people get surprised by how much he let's him get away with

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15. Itmf a fic where wwx is abandoned after the battle of nightless city against wen ruohan, causing major canon divergence. Maybe the public turns against him, maybe his death is faked (by himself or others - he did pass out in public and was vulnerable to others for a time), maybe someone tries to 'remove a potential threat before he can become one' after that display of power, maybe he runs away, or is lost on the battlefield w/ disfiguring wounds and amnesia, etc. tldrwarwonbutwwxnogohomewothers

🔒this house is loved by ribena (T, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX lives, Memory Loss, Cottagecore, Developing Relationship, slight angst, introspective and a little rambly, Happy Ending, Feelings)

❤️ The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen by KouriArashi (T, 139k, wangxian, xiyao, chengqing, romance, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, politics, revenge, families of choice, pining) This fic is already very canon-divergent (it's an AU where wwx is adopted by the Dafan Wen) but it has pretty much the plot point requested

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16. Hello

I'm in the mood for a WangXian fic that's set in the genre of Dark Academia. I've been reading Grimoire by WithLoweredVoices recently, and really enjoyed it. Do you know of any similar fics? @shenmiao98

Marks of weakness, marks of woe by Song_of_Storms (E, 48k, WangXian, WIP, College/University, Modern with Magic, Dark Academia, Rivals to Lovers, Dark LWJ, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Murder Mystery, Minor Character Death, Familiars, Fencing, Nonbinary NHS, Poison, Aftermath of Poisoning, Tagged Explicit For Later Chapters, LWJ's canonical inability to distinguish between immediate hatred and immediate attraction, furthering the LWJ/JZX/MM friendship agenda, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intrusive Thoughts) If the requester of 16 doesn't mind a WIP

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17. I read fic Turn Left by kianspo, where Lan Zhan was kidnapped from Gusu sect and grew up outside of it (on the streets and then with Xiao Xingchen on Baoshan Sanren mountain). I’m in the Mood for a Fic with similar topic, where Lan Zhan grew up outside of Gusu Lan, be it in different sect or as rogue cultivator (without Gusu Lan sect rules). I would like to find more fics with this particular trope (not modern au). The plot after it (family reunion, wangxian) doesn't matter as much. Thank you.

no step had trodden black by Stratisphyre (T, 32k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JYL/JZX, canon divergence, madam lan lives, past rape, golden core reveal, hurt/Comfort, referenced to attempted suicide & suicidal thoughts, canon-typical violence) Lan Wangji grew up as a rogue cultivator with his mom

The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, family, not lan sect friendly, canon typical violence & gore, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, mothers who live, some people live/not everyone dies) If the requester doesn't mind a time travel story, four-year-old Lan Wangji leaves the Lan sect with his mother

Xiao XingChen's travelling sect Series by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 43k, WangXian, SongXiao, Time Travel, Children, rogue cultivators, Not Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, small town, Murder Mystery, Parental XXC, Cultivation Conference, Bad Parenting, World Travel, Monsters, Bugs & Insects, Sailors, Sea Monsters, Pirate Treasure, Ocean, Flirting, Bad Flirting) Another time-travel one, in which LWJ is raise (well "raised", he has adult memories and maturity) by Xiao Xingchen

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 73k, WangXian, YZY/CSSR/MDM Lan, MingLi, Time Travel, EXTREME Canon Divergence, Wide Focus Narrative, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Most Named/Canon Characters Live, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Families of Choice, Parenthood, this work contains a major tonal shift, Fluff, Angst, Underage Sex, not particularly explicit, but not at all ambiguous, PTSD, Only a tiny bit, Unforeseeable consequences, The butterfly effect, Slightly Dark JYL, Asexual Characters, but that’s not really the focus, Canon-Typical Violence) (link in #10) Also Sami's got another time-travel one where LWJ grows up in the Jiang Sect (ljw is not the time-traveler in this one)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[leeknowsswag]

How each SKZ member shows their love- HCs

|a/n: This is my first ever fic/hc so please be kind 😭!! everything is fake in this fic! please do not take anything serious!!! Also, if you have any recs, feel free to ask!!! oki bai!!!! |tags: OT8skz!xreader(separate), fluff, suggestive content(if you squint very verrrrry hard), fem!reader, love languages, and MDNI!!

| Bang Chan- Im sure that Chans love language is gift giving. He loves spoiling the person he loves the most. Anything you want, you got. No matter the cost, Bang Chan will have it delivered to your front doorstep in no time. Shit, if you wanted to, he'd give you his credit card and let you go wild. The members might try to talk him out of it, but of course, he won't listen. | Lee Know- I think that Lee Know's love language would be quality time. He loves spending time with you, if he could keep you in his pocket and take you along with him everywhere, he most definitely would. When he goes to dance practice, he calls and asks you to keep him company. Spending time with you if the best thing to him. | Changbin- Physical touch is most definitely Changbin's love language. He loves being close to you and touching holding you anytime he can. He loves holding your hand while producing, cuddling you on movie dates, hugging you from behind while you're cooking, etc etc. He loves the feeling of your soft skin and your scent, overall, he loves feeling you! (not in a weird way) | Hyunjin- Hyunjin loves words of affirmations and physical touch. He loves telling you how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how kind of a person you are, all the works. Like Changbin, he loves having you close and having his hands on you. While he's painting, he loves having you close, pulling up a chair for you to sit in if need be. As he paints you, he tells you how beautiful he thinks you are, overall, you're his muse physically and mentally. | Han- Hans love language is acts of service and physical touch, you want him to do something for you, he will do it, and he likes being super close to you. He loves doing stuff for you around your apartment. Need him to wash your clothes, he will do it, need him to help you with the dishes, he will do it. But afterwards, you bet that he'll want to cuddle immediately after! | Felix- Felix loves giving you words of affirmations and he loves cuddles, and he loves giving you gifts. Honestly, he just loves you, he'll do anything you want him to, so really he uses all of the love languages. He loves spending money on you, hugging you, telling you how pretty you are, being with you all the time, and doing stuff for you. If he wasn't already (which he is), he's the total package! | Seungmin- I know people say he's mean, but Seungmin loves giving gifts. When he's at the store, he'll buy you anything that makes him think of you. By the end of his shopping trip, he would have bought you the whole store, he loves you so much and buying you gifts from the heart is one of his ways of showing it! | Jeongin- Words of affirmation if Jeongin's way to your heart. He texts you lengthy paragraphs, letting you know that you are the best girl ever and you are his world, he truly loves everything about you, he pours his heart out about how lovely you are, you are his favorite person, I swear.

[etoilesombre]

Hi im a new here i finally watched black sails after someone convinced me. And im changed. I'm. Yeah. I'm not who i was before. It's a bizarrely good show?

I'm so so so glad that so many ppl on ao3 agree with me that flint and silver need to fuck. Have fucked. Will fuck.

This will be all i think about for the next month or so.

If you have fic recs do let me know. I'm in dire need.

Hi my friend and welcome to hell! It's the best, right? ("Month" is a HIGHLY optimistic estimate about how long this will consume your brain...)

So honored that you asked for recs! I don't think I've ever compiled a general list of favorites, I had a great time and I think I'm happy with the results. This is by no means comprehensive, and obviously HIGHLY reflective of my own tastes, which are... uh.. I am known to not enjoy nice things very much. I invite others to reblog with their own favorites. Here we go...

Notes: These are in vaguely chronological order. I'm including word count and brief descriptions so you know what you're getting into but no warnings or anything, that's all on AO3. They are all silverflint and all explicit (I think, there might be one or two 'mature' in there but, this is the they need to, have, and will fuck list.) I didn't include any of my own work because presumably that's how you found my blog so you're aware, but I do have a pinned list, and if you want recs for mine or to talk about any of these just message, I will talk about silverflint all day.

Overall Recommendations:

The Most Unexpected Things by forbiddenarchives (~20k words) I think this one is a great starting point. It is very.. fic flavored fic, if that makes sense, in a great way. Hits the spot. The author's description is "season 2 if everyone were 5000% hornier" and that is accurate. Note this is marked as unfinished, but the place it wraps up feels totally reasonable to me.

As Good as Gone by spinninginfinityboy (~5.5k words) Complicated hot weird semi-hate sex on the way to Charles Town. A thing with a Spanish Dubloon that is emblazoned on my brain forever.

Combat by equestrianstatue (~10k words) A two part series, which I think captures the push-pull early frenemies vibe of s1-2 perfectly. Also the writing itself is stellar.

All alone in a moonlit shanty by PrimalScream (4.3k) Celebrating a good day hunting, Flint gets very drunk and tells the crew a dirty story. Silver tries to put him to bed, but he has different ideas. By far one of the lighter things on this list.

after the winnowing by princesskay (~14k) Set after Silver loses his leg, early in his recovery. Silk pajamas, multiple orgasms and overstimulation as well as their usual codependent fuckery.

What It Feels Like Not to Hurt by Robotboy (~9k) Another recovery fic. As the author says, it's 9k of slowburn watersports but really it's about Silver's pain and autonomy and humiliation and. Just. Even if it's not your usual cup of tea it's hot, give it a try.

vigia by doomcountry (~3k) A short, perfect rendering of their dynamic during early s3 raid times. Heartwrenching character study, excellent porn.

The Sack of James Flint by princesskay (~107k) So, yes, this is a novel length sub!Flint cock and ball torture series. I would make the argument that it is one of the best character studies in the fandom, for real. Absolutely worth your time, but fuck, it hurts your heart as much as your captain's balls in the end.

Concurrence by ember_firedrake (~2.5k) Mid s3. The first time they call each other by their first names. Now, that's not actually a thing I think they do, but, good porn and lower angst.

appreciation by nysscientia (~8k) Flint cultivates a certain aloof persona, but Silver sees right through it, and eventually they kiss about it.

Don't Fear The Ships (Fear The Black) by Farasha (~10k) - Silverflint use learning to sail as a coded way to flirt and talk about feelings (and eventually they kiss about it).

A Ship Is A Republic by Robotboy (~20k) A slow burn fic set during the inter-season sword training times. Love this dynamic, this author does power bottom Flint and sub Silver so fucking well.

deliverance is ours by the light of the stars by piratecaptainraven (3.1k) Flint sees Silver and Madi together, and doesn't stop watching when he should. They don't technically fuck in this, but its SO much pining, and the writing is poetic and gorgeous.

frail and fragile bars by ajaxthegreat (~21k) Possibly the hottest thing I've ever read, this rewrote my brain chemistry. Slow burn-ish. It captures that late season love and dependence and resentment and power struggle.

Cold, Dark, Depraved by notfelix (~10k) When fucking fixes absolutely nothing. This hurts in a way that feels, to me, similar to canon. I hate it (affectionate).

Opportunist by anonymous (~6.1k) This was part of the kinkmeme event (see below) and it fucking changed me. If I recommend one fic and only one fic to process the ending, it's this. It's awful. It's necrophilia and light cannibalism. It's the only thing I can imagine happening after, if Silver actually shoots Flint on that island. It makes me feel bad in the best way.

hand in unlovable hand by brinnanza, Jaynovz (~9.9k) Affectionately known as the worst ending AU, this is actually a great followup to the last one. How Silver copes, after Skeleton Island.

Bonus: AUs. I don't generally read AUs, but these two worked for me, in very different ways that still felt very silverflint.

did the twin flame bruise paint you blue by Jaynovz (138k) Novel length mod AU where silverflint broke up, and we see their relationship along two different timelines, before and after. Toxic fucked up goodness, lots of BDSM dynamics, bonus silvervane! All set in NYC.

holy ghost fire by ajaxthegreat (~52k) Appalachia horror au! The author clearly knows the area, and silverflint is already a ghost story, so it works really well. If you've ever been there you'll know how right it feels, if not, just trust me.

extra bonus: fic event collections and rec lists

kinkmeme

built on sand

beach blanket black sails

@jaynovz has also compiled a number of much more specific rec lists, which can be found at #jay's esoteric rec lists

[candy8448]

Do you have a recs for fics based on the Apprentice arc?

Ooohohoho yesss, you've come to the right person. I have quite a lot of fics to rec (ive been obsessively consuming and hyperfixating like mad on the apprentice arc in particular):

(Also i consider haunted to be part of the overall apprentice arc so there are a few fics based on and set after that episode)

First you can look at the tag "dick grayson as slade wilson's apprentice" on ao3 and there are hundreds of fics, with every dynamic and characters you could want, these are just my favorites ive read (put very very vaguely in an order going down from my most favorites):

Never Alone

My favorite, its a masterpiece, its amazing! After haunted robin continues to have hallucinations and its a finished longfic that gives a really good look into robin's mental illness and how he is still only a human. I made a whole post about this fic and how its perfect in every way, i have not binged a longfic this long in forever but i did this one in a single reading session because i was completely and utterly gripped

More coherent and detailed but completely spoiler free rambles about what makes this fic so good here i cannot stress enough how this is a must read if you like the arc. I like, really really want you to read this one

The voice and gears of sunset

Oneshot set right after robin is rescued from slade in the apprentice arc. It hits so hard and hurts. Robin's recovery and him trying to connect again with the titans after what he had gone through, the titans being there to help every step of the way. The ending melts my heart

Emotional motion sickness

Oneshot set many years later when the batfam is fully formed and robin is nightwing. A good fic with dick and damian's brotherly relationship and discovering new ways to cope. There is an encounter with slade and that scene fills me with so much undescribable emotion

The fight and the war

Oneshot with the batfam. After an encounter with slade, dick is interogated with his family about the way he responded to slade's commands in the battle and how it could have gotten him killed. Dick is forced to admit what happened back when he was with the titans in the apprentice arc. Very good protective batsiblings in a different way to the other fics

Bedeviled

Oneshot set right after haunted. The spores have a lingering effect and robin presses an emergency distress signal to batman who is there for him

To pick at a scab

Years later with the batfam dick comes to the batcave and his younger brothers have some questions about a sound recording from his time with slade. Dick is thrown into a vivid flashback and the batfam break him out of it and help him talk through it. Oneshot

Just the same

Robin deals with stockholm syndrome and cant help but compare how similar or even better slade is than batman. The titans are there to help him figure things out. Oneshot.

Reforming Nightwing

Unfinished longfic. The titans never find iut about the nanobots and dick is forced to be slade's apprentice for 9 years. After Slade is killed and dick is able to excape, he goes to bludhaven where he picks up a new civillian name and the new identity nightwing. Meanwhile tim and steph want to figure out who this new "nightwing" and what his connection is to the villian "renegade"

Do you think batman will give me partial custody?

Oneshot. After the apprentice arc, robin returns to gotham. Unable to figure out how he feels about the situation he goes to his parents' graves where he encounters harely who helps him start a conversation with him about the abuse they both faced

The apprentice

Unfinished longfic where the titans dont discover the nanobots and robin has to continue being slade's apprentice. He spends his time figuring out how to get a message to the titans or to batman or to anyone without slade knowing

Next to my robin and some matchsticks

Oneshot set after apprentice part 2 where the titans patch up robin's wounds and talk about some scars he has, some from his time before the titans and some from slade

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

merthur fic recs: sof's masterlist

(inspired and encouraged by the ever-lovely @dreamingthroughtokyoskies <33 ilysm babes)

hello, there! these are fifteen fics that i've collected over the years as my favorite merthur fics of all time. they come in all sorts of genres and lengths and vibes, so buckle up!!

Sorcerers & Knights, and their long-lost Prince by DracoWillHearAboutThis [30k, 9/9]

"Can't you watch where you're going?!" Arthur snapped. 

"You ran into me!" the other man exclaimed, incredulous, and Arthur stilled because he knew that voice. And that accent.

He looked up and found himself face to face with a flushed, indignant Merlin Emrys, tour shirt drenched with coffee. Bloody hell.

"That shirt is Dior," was all that came out of Arthur's mouth, without his permission, and the singer's face hardened.

"Well, bugger for you," Merlin snapped. "Might have to wear off the rack, for a change, like the rest of us. Maybe the money you saved with that could go to your precious charity."

Arthur blinked, the blow of the other man's words not even hitting him before he heard Gwen Smith shriek from down the corridor.

"Merlin! You can't say that to the Prince of Wales, oh my God!"

Merlin is the lead singer of the popular British band called Sorcerers & Knights. Arthur is the Prince of Wales. Their paths cross and destiny unfolds.

fellow merthur/rwrb fans rejoice, this is practically a rwrb AU! except Merlin is the lead singer of a rock band, Sorcerers & Knights, and Arthur is the prince of Wales. the romance between the two of them is so insanely sweet, and i love all the outside commentary from the rest of the cast:)) i also recommend literally anything else by DracoWillHearAboutThis !!

Caesura by StormDancer [52k, 1/1]

Merlin is a writing prodigy with the world's most angsty case of writer's block; Arthur is an overachieving Econ major struggling to escape his father's shadow. Together, they fight crime!

Well, no, they don't. But they do fall in love.

College AU where Merlin is an undiagnosed unmedicated ADHD anonymous prodigy author who takes a course on his own work, meets Arthur, a fan, and they fall in love?? omg. on another note, Merlin's characterization in this fic is INSANE! he's giving deranged thought daughter and im obsessed

all ye faithful by schweet_heart [26k, 1/1]

After an eight and a half year absence, Arthur returns to his father’s house for Christmas, determined to find some closure and finally let go of the past. Merlin, as ever, gives him a reason to hold on.

wow. this fic. there's just so many good things to say about it, but i'll start with the beautiful depiction of parental abuse. Uther isn't physical, and he never does anything too obviously harmful, but it's the little things he says and the overall toxicity of his presence. and then the way he acts with Mordred, Morgana's son, while Arthur watches and wonders why his father never treated him like that?? it's brilliant. absolutely brilliant. the whole fic is a small town AU where Merlin and Arthur were together in secret and broke up as teenagers, and meet again when Arthur comes home. everything about this fic, from the breaking-up-and-making-up to the beautiful depiction of abuse, is so amazing.

Of Lemon Drops and Lizard-Cats by supercalvin [26k, 2/2]

When Inspector Arthur Pendragon went into work that morning he didn’t expect to get on the bad side of an attractive paramedic whose dessert-related insults were surprisingly scathing. Then the same man turned up at the police station, with a clever glint in his eye and his daughter in his arms.

When Merlin Emrys became a single father he made one simple rule: he wouldn’t date until Aithusa was old enough to understand. Merlin had always had his hands full with his daughter and never had a problem with this rule until Arthur stepped into his life. Then everyone he knew started conspiring against him.

single dad paramedic Merlin?? smitten detective Arthur?? mutual pining but self-forbidden romance?? it's amazing. and the domesticity of this fic... let's just say i finished it and couldn't stop thinking about families for the next week. the outside commentary from the rest of the cast in the department is top tier, and Aithusa as Merlin's daughter is the absolute cutest thing

wanna be your end game (my youth is yours) by ladililn [63k, series]

Merlin grows up in Buckingham Palace. Unfortunately, so does Arthur.

this fic is actually a series, and it's genuinely so adorable i have no words. them?? growing up together?? badgering and arguing and teasing?? but truly being there for one another, always, when it came down to it?? elite. the absolute greatest. and their completely oblivious mutual pining never fails to make me giggle <3

after the storm (are you leaving) by Imagined, Scarlet_Ribbons [60k, 6/6]

“Gorwin is my King,” Merlin says, golden eyes fixed flatly on Arthur. “And I work for him. That’s what it says.”

“That’s what what says?” Arthur all but roars, wishing he had a sword just so that he could swing it at something. He needs to let all of this anger at something, anything, he’s just not sure at what and he doesn’t really care anymore.

“The treaty you signed."

Or:

Arthur lends Merlin's aid as a sorcerer to an allied kingdom. He doesn't expect to find Merlin, two years later, in shackles, and only a mere echo of the person he used to be.

this fic is beyond devastating. a warning that it is extremely dark, with a lot of addiction and (non-sexual) slavery. overall, though, it's so beautiful. the way that Arthur forces himself to allow Merlin to leave, and then finds him absolutely destroyed?? then stands by his side through all of it and never gives up on him?? such a beautiful fic, as well as everything else written by these two authors

secrets i have held in my heart by arthur_pendragon [20k, 8/8]

Merlin carves himself into Arthur’s soul while the song of summer trails behind them in the sultry air; while the trees haggle with the sun over the price of autumn — separation. Arthur will forever remember this week in which he obtained his heart’s desire and had it ripped away from him.

wow ok so i'm really not exaggerating when i say this is the best fic i've ever read in my life—it's so heart-stoppingly beautiful and painful and the writing is gorgeous and genuinely i don't even know how to communicate how good this fic is. it's friends-with-benefits but also secret-mutual-pining and angsty and hurtful and ahhhh. so so so good.

Next to You (It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove [62k, 8/8]

Arthur and Merlin have a special relationship. They always have, even when they were prince and servant. While many question it when first noticing, eventually it becomes an understanding in Camelot—and even among some other countries—that where there is Arthur, there is Merlin. And, where there is Merlin, there is Arthur.

Or

Arthur and Merlin's relationship as witnessed and explained by others.

Also, or

Five times someone realizes that Merlin is the Queen, one time Merlin realizes it himself, and one time he owns it.

this is one of the funniest fics i've ever read! if you're familiar, it's very reminiscent of CaffeinatedFlumadiddle's writing. Merlin and Arthur's relationship is hilarious, very mischievous-cat and cat-owner. i also adore Mordred in this fic—he's so squishy and adorable idkidk

since we're alone, you can show me your heart by isolationqueen [7k, 1/1]

Going on a month long road trip though Europe with Arthur is probably a terrible idea. Only, Merlin has never been able to say no to Arthur.

modern road trip AU my beloved!! ughh i love the bitchy pining in this fic, and how protective and jealous Arthur gets. just them going from club to club in all these different places.... so good!! always recommend <3

More than I bargained for by follow_your_fire [27k, 3/3]

Arthur's had enough of hearing about Merlin's unsurpassed bedroom skills from his friends.

There's no way Merlin is better than him, is there?

Well, only one way to find out.

this one is for my porn-with-plot girlies!! Arthur being gay for Merlin is the funniest thing ever, and watching him be so bewildered and confused the entire fic but covering it up so that Merlin doesn't suspect a thing is top tier. and then Merlin being soft?? and loving?? and fluffy?? and then Arthur just doesn't know what to do..... SO GOOD!!

A Collapsing Star With Tunnel Vision by objectlesson [8k, 1/1]

“Perhaps we are doing her a favor then,” he says, pausing to chew the inside of his cheek before adding in a measured, careful voice. “I wouldn’t want to live without my love, either.”

Arthur whips around in the saddle to stare at him, eyes hard and dark, like the storm clouds building on the distant horizon. “What love? You haven’t got a love,” he snaps, like he’s the sole keeper of all Merlin’s secrets.

'Arthur acting different with Merlin alone than he does with the knights' my beloved!! this fic is so poetic and beautiful, with Arthur being ugly and mean but so in love and Merlin is equally so ahhhhh. so insanely good. lots of monster hunting and metaphorical discussions. im obsessed with this fic you don't even understand

Nicest Thing by idlestories [19k, 1/1]

Arthur has been best friends with Merlin since they were eleven, and in love with him since they were sixteen and he realised what that was. Too afraid to risk the friendship, he's resigned himself to never telling him how he feels.

Now, high school has just ended, it's their last summer together before university, and Arthur? Arthur is just trying not to think about it.

Featuring: loneliness, pining, drunk Merlin, driving lessons, and more than a few poorly-executed teen movie clichés. Covers June-December the year they start university.

this fic is so criminally underrated it makes me homicidal. one of my top three favorite fics of all time, do you understand me? it's so. it's so good. the pining?? the yearning?? the split as they go to different unis?? the summery poeticism of the writing?? i'll never get over this fic. i think about it every day. amazing.

time, mystical time by andiwriteordie [17k, 1/1]

Finally, the man tears his gaze away and meets Arthur’s eyes once more. “I seek the aid of your Camelot,” he says, but his voice sounds more hesitant now, as if he’s had to change his response for some strange reason.

Merlin can’t help but believe that reason is him.

“As for who I am,” the man says with a bit of a chuckle, and he glances around the room again at familiar faces, at his friends. “I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot.”

Or:

When a mysterious stranger shows up to Camelot claiming to be Arthur from the future and seeking help for his sick consort, Merlin learns some things about himself, about Arthur, and about a future he never dreamed was possible.

Arthur from the future time travels back in time to find Merlin, the only person powerful enough to save his cursed consort, an older Merlin?? i physically cannot. this fic is so good. shows two sides of the same coin (ha): Merlin and Arthur, established with Merlin's magic out and proud, and then Merlin and Arthur, unestablished and Merlin's magic still a careful secret. and Morgana in this fic is elite!! she's absolutely hilarious and completely done with merthur's bullshit

For Want of a Nail by 0hHeyThereBigBadWolf [235k, 44/44]

Fleeing from Essetir in the bloody beginnings of the Purge, Hunith finds herself on the doorstep of old friends. That's all it takes to untangle the skeins of destiny and weave a new tapestry.

long fic alert!! but oh my god i love this fic. Leon being Merlin's older brother?? elite. Arthur and Merlin going through angsty mutual pining?? top tier. and then later on, this fic features probably my favorite OC of all time: Bellegere, Arthur's cousin and Agravaine's daughter. i love her so much and you can pry her out of my cold dead fingers. just such a good fic!!

what is this feeling by redkay [13k, 1/1]

“Get out of my sight, and don’t come back until you can prove to me why I should allow you to remain in my service.”

Merlin stares at Arthur, confused. His tone was ominous, and it certainly sounded like a threat, but Merlin can’t quite work out what part is supposed to have him shaking in his boots. He’s halfway back to Gauis’ chambers when it dawns on him: Arthur actually thinks this stupid, degrading job is something he would be willing to fight for - as though Merlin’s life wouldn’t be complete without the honor of scrubbing the sheets Arthur manages to soil on a disturbingly regular basis.

In which it takes Merlin a bit longer to warm up to Arthur than it does in canon, but he gets there in the end.

we deserve more of Merlin being genuinely bitchy and pissy at Arthur!! the show really did make him Arthur's #1 fangirl wayyy too quickly, but this fic fixes that right up. it's so funny, but so heart-touching at the same time. a classic <3

wow, this list is so long overdue it's insane, but i think this was the right time to finally put it out there. i hope you like these fics!!

[classygreydove]

tobirama fic recs

4 wonderful tobirama-centric fics! (most of my bookmarks w tobirama are quite popular in the fandom. but maybe one of these will be a new favorite of yours) +1 self-promo lol

Some are gen and some are ship fics, so check pairings!

And all the fire's at your fingertips by PandaFlower - COMPLETE, 10k

T, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Gen; Tobirama & Kagami, Many enemy OCs, Uchiha Madara, Uchiha Hikaku, Kagami's Mom, Tobirama hates childnappers more than anything, Canon-Typical Violence, child kidnapping with rescue

Tobirama is elbow deep in a stealth mission in Wind Country when he runs into a shinobi squad toting a stolen Uchiha child. Tobirama disapproves.

[dove's notes: very cute. if someone told me this fic was the one that popularized the hc tobirama is good with/protective of kids, i'd believe them]

2. gravity of tempered grace by SilverStudios4140 - ONGOING, 170k

NR, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, M/M; Hashirama & Tobirama, Tobirama/Izuna, Tobirama & Izuna, Uzumaki Mito, Senju Clan, Uzumaki ocs, Uchiha Madara, Uchiha Kagami, Uchiha Clan, Hatake ocs, Time Travel Fix-It, Warring States Period (Naruto), Shinobi Politics (Naruto), Worldbuilding, BAMF Senju Tobirama, Good Sibling Hashirama, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Senju Tobirama-centric, Uchiha Izuna-centric, Canon-Typical Violence, Shinobi Culture (Naruto), Chakra Theory (Naruto), Physics, Minor HashiMito, Slow Burn

Even at the moment of the hiraishin's conception, Tobirama knew the dangers of meddling with the very threads that make up the fabric of existence. He knew that repeated usage only made it easier to traverse between the dimensions because the user became physically more susceptible to slipping through the cracks. But knowing something is possible theoretically is very different from experiencing it for himself.

[dove's notes: founder's era worldbuilding is fun! and the tobiizu dynamics just have so much chemistry.]

3. turn in such inhumanity by simkjrs - COMPLETE, 237k

T, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gen, Tobirama & Izuna, Hashirama & Tobirama, Senju Tobirama, Uchiha Izuna, Senju Hashirama, Uchiha Madara, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Warring States Period (Naruto), Soul Bond, Soulmates, Platonic Soulmates, Uchiha Izuna Lives, aroace tobirama, aroace izuna, queer-platonic relationship

“You believe this chakra-merging was an accident?” “It would be far more intelligent to bond with someone who is aware of and has consented to the procedure, so I can only surmise they were unable to choose the target,” says Tobirama. “Assuming the other individual is not so hare-brained as to purposefully bind themselves to an unknown stranger, targeting me was most likely unintentional.”

Unfortunately for Tobirama, Uchiha Izuna is hare-brained enough to do exactly that.

----

The story of how Uchiha Izuna's outstanding idea to perform a forbidden technique eventually leads to the resolution of a centuries-long feud, from Tobirama's point of view. Readable on its own, but it is a counterpart to Wyrvel's Let the Devil In.

[dove's notes: love love love this work/series. So much so that I made two music playlists for it. ace tobirama and queer-platonic relationships and worldbuilding and secret frienships/soulmates and identity intrigue?? just wonderful]

4. A Soft Green Glow by Sharkseye, COMPLETE, 12k

M, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, M/M, Tobirama & Izuna, Izuna & Madara, Tobirama/Izuna, Senju Tobirama, Uchiha Izuna, Uchiha Madara, Altered Mental States due to blood loss, Pre-Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pre-Canon

Returning from an ambush that killed his entire team and near fatally wounded him, Izuna finds himself followed by an enemy far more dangerous than the ones he left behind. Even if he makes it back to Uchiha lands, he'll be killed long before help can arrive. That is, if the blood loss doesn't get him first.

[dove's notes: i like the characterization of tobirama and izuna, overall well-written]

+1 shameless self-promo: Red Moon, Blue Waters by classygreydove - COMPLETE, 1k

G, No Warnings Apply, Gen; Hashirama & Tobirama, Madara & Izuna, canon compliant, warring states period, pov tobirama, pov madara

Hashirama’s mouth held its beaming smile for a second longer, before dropping into a grim twist. “Did you notice—?” Tobirama inclined his head. “I did.”

[a-big-chicken-nerd]

Ice Emperor related fic recs?

ohohoho most certainly

thin ice breaks easily by lightningchicken has gotta be my all time favorite ice emperor fic. never fails to make me go a little insane its SO GOOD

lost and found by idkwhyimhere5462 is an absolute banger with the plot being utilized so perfectly to really show off what ice emperor was like during his reign as well as vex and boreal and their dynamic and its extremely good

adventures with the ice emperor by idkwhyimhere5462 is a series of absolutely banger oneshots

ruler from another realm by cybersearcher is an absolutely iconic one and a must read. not your typical ice emperor fic but the never-realm world building is too good

whetstone by spinchip is awesome i love the open ending and the continuation of akitas plot and the characterization SO much

i hope we both die by spinchip is another banger by spinchip because btw spinchip does nothing but bangers so definitely check out all their zane and post-ice emperor fics both on ao3 and tumblr

bitter cold by redboar is a LONG one!!! 100k+ words!!!! ice emperor is so cool in it and the way vex and grimfax are written is extremely good

i think that i damned the both of us by penofwildfire is truly premium quality toxic yaoi if shipping ice emperor and vex is your thing

how the frost forgets by kzfine is still currently ongoing and its super good so far with plenty of focus on vex as well which is always excellent to see

the ultimate guide to re-becoming zane julien by fronhdoesthings is awesome and still currently ongoing and it has really good illustrations and is just overall great

there are a lot of great zane focused post-never realm fics as well but i tried to keep this list to just ice emperor ones that stay WITHIN the never realm LOL one billion fics upon ye