#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.
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quarterlifekitty · 18 hours ago
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first, im a bit new to cod but idk…
thinking about ghost’s spouse visiting him on base or some shit, and everyone else wondering how tf he was emotionally flexible enough to bag a bad bitch 🫶
note: this is just my personal little fantasy world headcanon lol so take it with a grain of salt!
Simon maintains a vaguely human lifestyle by adhering to one very strict rule: rigid compartmentalization. You don’t come up at work, and work doesn’t come up around you. Never the twain shall meet, he thinks. And he’s not exactly a watershed of information when he’s with his mates. And it’s not like anyone is asking “When was the last time you got fucked, Ghost?” and seriously expecting a response.
He tells you about the crew, but not about what he does with them. Killing, espionage, torture– that kind of thing stays off the dinner table.
Let it be known that you do not surprise him at work. You respect his boundaries too much, which is why he’s so fucking serious about you, honestly. He calls, asking if you can run something to him. This is maybe the greatest symbol of trust he can bestow, as a man who has only a fraction of an existence in the eyes of the government: he asks you to bring a document of his. He gives you the instructions on how to find it, and trusts that you won’t look at anything you don’t have to.
You know Johnny lets out a low whistle when he sees you coming up with a manilla folder in your hands.
“Who’s that bloody bombshell, then?”
You spy Simon and jog up to him with a smile. He’s the one who embraces you, short but strong. Cue the nigh audible gasping.
“LT, you absolute dog.”
Simon rolls his eyes as the two of you are crowded in short order. You make polite introductions, but have a previous engagement– you really did only have time to stop by.
Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.
Everyone is wondering how this could’ve happened. For the record– I think in this scenario, Johnny and Gaz go through a constant string of heartbreaks, and John is kinda married to his job. So in a cruel twist of fate, Simon is actually the only one currently with a partner, much less a spouse.
“How’d you manage to bag a right beauty like that, LT? C’mon, spill it–”
Simon doesn’t mean to diminish your value or anything, but his answer is not going to be satisfying, because he doesn’t find it that difficult to get women. And also, you’re his true love, so you’re perfect for each other and growing close to you was as easy as breathing. But he doesn’t say that.
“S’not that hard. Remember the stuff she says, don’t keep no secrets… dick ‘er down the way she likes.” He doesn’t mean to be crude about it, but from his perspective, is one of the main reasons why you tolerate him. Soap howls at the response.
He’s telling the truth, though! He has a scarily good memory. Remembers every friend you’ve ever told him about, every movie you’ve ever mentioned, every meal he’s cooked for you and how you liked it. He remembers dates, times, and lists with no issue whatsoever.
And he’s never kept anything from you. He tells you how the fuck he’s feeling, and you return the favor, even if it isn’t pleasant. The only thing he doesn’t mention to you are the gorey details of his work.
And you have never had more of a communicative partner, ironically. There were times in the beginning when he didn’t know all of the ins and outs of coaxing pleasure from your body, so he asked you to show him how you like it. And that scary memory is at work yet again– every sensitive spot, every offhand mention of a kink you’ve not yet explored together, every arch of your spine and clench of your cunt. He’s got it down to a science. Could write novels about making love to you specifically.
What I’m trying to say, at the end of the day, is that Ghost bagged a bad bitch by being autistic.
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kentoxo · 1 day ago
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friction | reader (f) x crush!nanami pt. 11
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pairing: reader (f) x crush!nanami
synopsis: [AU] you have always had a crush on nanami. since the day you were hired as his personal assistant, you've been right at his side combating numbers and making money within the finance department for the company you two worked for. but, things take a turn when nanami catches wind of your feelings, and rejects you. little did he know the weight of his mistake.
warnings: angst, heartbreak, sexual tension, jealousy (future smut)
a/n: i have returned with another, not-so-interesting part. i apologize to those who might have asked to be tagged previously, i *think* i have everyone now! but again, pls feel free to yell at me in my askbox if i didnt get you! the next part is gonna be way more fun, promise :) trying to bring in more of our jjk favs (including our baby boy toru)
all parts: pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9, pt.10,
December | Tokyo, Japan | Monday
“Kento, are you stupid or dumb?” Haibara coldly spits through the phone. “You have what, like 5 days? My god, where is your brain dude?” 
“I’m a businessman,” Nanami responds, with shaky sighs escaping from between his lips as he enters the lobby of their job. “I made a deal, and she accepted the terms. When have I ever lost a deal?” 
“This all could have been avoided if you just said the other shit you told me,” Haibara groaned. “How she’s pretty, and the way you are able to open up to her.” 
Nanami lets out his own sigh, as his friend was probably right. “She… made me nervous. I only know how to be professional and talk in working terms. I’m not good at anything else.” 
“And now she’s pissed off, so fantastic work, Head of Department,” Haibara says before sucking his teeth. 
Nanami walks into the elevator, one hand buried in his pocket while the other holding his phone tiredly at his ear. A few other colleagues enter, giving Nanami a curt bow before pressing their floor button. “Is she in yet, by the way?” Nanami asks, a twinge of optimism in his tongue. 
“Of course she is,” Haibara hummed, the sounds of papers being sifted in the background. “She even asked for me to get your cup of coffee since she’s in a meeting right now.” 
Nanami’s eyebrow raised, “meeting?” 
Haibara murmurs a ‘hold on,’ the only sound to be heard was Haibara walking past several cubicles and work conversations. After finding a quiet place, Haibara brings the phone close to his mouth while cupping it with his other hand, “she’s in a meeting with shacho. ‘m not sure what it’s about, but he went to her desk the moment she clocked in.” 
What? “Did it seem like she was in trouble?” Nanami questions, his heart skipping a beat or two. 
Haibara shrugs, “‘m not sure, but I think it has to do with her promotion. Shacho mentioned it during the client lunch the other day, remember?” 
“That’s right,” Nanami lets out slowly, recalling that day in his head. That day, your usually tidy hair had a small lock of it sticking out from behind your ear. That same day is why Nanami wishes for hindsight almost constantly. “I wonder…” 
“Right?” Haibara whispers curiously. “Whatever promotion she gets, she earned it for sure.” 
The elevator doors open, and Nanami quickly rushes into the office. “Meet me in front of Takada shacho’s office.” 
“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be right there!” Haibara calls out. Nanami turns around to see his dark-haired partner behind him, sheepishly waving his phone in the air. Nanami hangs up and walks up to him, curious of his intentions. “You’re gonna owe me about $150 after this.” 
Nanami looks around before getting close to Haibara’s. A few strands of blond hair escape Nanami’s usually kempt hair. “What the hell did you buy?” He whispers, practically hisses. 
Albeit his nerves, Haibara looks up at him with a smirk, “when have I ever let you down, Kento?” 
“Never, but you best not start today,” Nanami growls, pulling away before making a quick stride over to Takada’s office. 
As he did, he noticed many of his colleagues peer curiously from their cubicle over to Takada’s office as well, with other eyes peering at your own desk for your return. A sea of whispers then started to surround Nanami as everyone noticed his arrival. Quiet, respectful greetings and curt bows create the aura around him as Nanami nods in acknowledgement. It was all just too curious for Nanami, as he felt the itch to know what he didn’t. 
But he could swear his eyes were deceiving him when he saw the backs of both Geto and Ieiri. 
“Geto, Ieiri,” Nanami addresses them in a firm, yet soft tone. 
Geto is first to turn, his long raven hair flowing from his movement. He usually had the top part of his hair bunned, but he decided to let his entire mane out today. Peculiar, Nanami mentally noted. It was also peculiar that Geto himself had a large bouquet of winter white lilies. “Kento,” Geto begins, a warm yet deceitful smile is pulled from each end of his lips. He offers his free hand, in which Nanami reluctantly shakes. 
Nanami has no issues with Geto, of course. All of them went to school together, Shoko and Haibara included. There has never been, and will never be, any beef between the two gentlemen. Of course, Nanami felt hesitant with him now, considering Geto hired you initially, and you were now under Nanami. There was a sudden and inexplicable feeling within the hazel-eyed man. Nanami was… nervous. 
Geto’s obsidian orbs weren’t helping with that, either. 
“Why so formal?” Ieiri sounded from his right side, pulling him out of his locked gaze with Geto. Nanami snatches his hand back, and quickly offers it to Ieiri, who teasingly just shakes the tips of his fingers. Her free hand held a small red box with a gold ribbon tied around it. “It’s been a little while, Kento. You never come up to visit.” 
“It’s because I work,” Nanami hums, letting her hand go to shove both his hands in his pockets. He needed some sort of solid ground, and his pockets felt safe. “And so do you both, considering we’re all department heads here.” 
“That we are,” Geto hums, “it has been quite crazy in Legal, considering how many clients the both of you have been pulling in.” 
Ieiri stows away a lock of her auburn hair behind her ear, gently lowering the cigarette she had hidden. “Sales has been quite crazy,” Ieiri said slowly, “hence why I’m down here. ‘m looking for my girl that you snatched from me.” 
Nanami squints his eyes, staring Ieiri down. But after realizing her words, his eyes slightly widened, “do you, by any chance, know what her promotion is about then?” He looks over at Geto as well, silently extending that question to him. 
Ieiri widened her eyes in confusion, with Geto raising his eyebrow in curiosity. “You… don’t know?” Geto asks, each word burned off his tongue in humor. 
Nanami was annoyed from not knowing, “I don’t if I’m asking. Why would I know?”
Ieiri taps at her bottom lip with the tip of her index, “well, you are her manager. You’d be the one that Takada shacho would talk to regarding Y/N’s growth within the company.” 
It did raise curiosity that Takada would mention Y/N’s promotion aloud in front of him and clients that have no relevance. But, Nanami did have some expectation to talk about your future promotion with Takada, whatever that would pertain. It felt somewhat like betrayal, considering how much Takada confided in him. Nanami could only hope it was with right intentions that he was not included in his assistant's promotion. 
“I have no say in how he makes his decisions,” Nanami’s eyes narrow at the door before them. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes to calm his nerves. “I can only hope it is a promotion that is to her liking.” 
“I can give you a hint if you want,” Ieiri teases with a toothy grin. Geto clutches the bouquet a little tighter as she piques Nanami’s interest. He looks over to her, noticing her adjusting her long, black dress. She pulls off pieces of lint, torturing him purposely with the wait. “I heard a rumor that… this promotion is a role that is above all of ours.” 
Nanami, at the moment, was beyond proud of you. He couldn’t even conceal his smile, feeling pangs of excitement in his heart. He was glad that you were seen exactly the way he sees you. Intelligent, capable, overachieving, and approachable. You work with such grace, and exude so much warmth as a person. You getting promoted to a position much greater than his is truly an honor. He was lucky to have a small role in your success, if you considered his significance. 
“But supposedly she will still reside within one of our departments,” Geto hums quietly. Nanami gives him a look, but Geto shrugs, “that’s all I know.” 
Nanami’s smile calmed, “I don’t see the need for her to transfer out of Finance, though.” 
“Is that right?” Geto questions with a smirk. “You have your department completely sorted, besides how nosey they are.” The three heads look back to see all of his colleagues eye them like fish, having them awkwardly turn back to their work. “What help is needed here?” 
“Don’t worry about it,” Nanami replies, an accidental hint of offense weaved in his words. “Just know that her skill set would be best utilized and appreciated here.” 
Geto’s smirk still played tricks in Nanami’s head, “and yet she applied and was initially hired for Legal. She was first recognized and utilized for her skill set in the Legal Department.” 
“She clearly is a woman of many talents, considering her contribution to all of our departments,” Nanami points out. He adjusts his tie, and sweeps his hair back in a more tidy manner. “She has done wonders for my department, and I intend to keep her flourishing here.” 
“I hope you boys didn’t forget that I’m here, too,” Ieiri pipes in, slightly annoyed at being ignored. “Nonetheless, it’s not about us. It’s about where she would like to go, and where Takada shacho believes where her role would be best fit.” 
After her words, the three hear frantic running from behind. Nanami turns around to see two bouquets of white roses make their way towards them. They were large, almost the size of two small bedside tables. The person halts, with staggering breaths emitting from the bouquets. Nanami notices the hair just barely sticking out from the top and knew right away that it was his closest friend, Haibara. 
“Nanami,” Haibara spews simply, forcing the two bouquets into his arms. The scent of florals intoxicated Nanami’s nose as he looked over the bouquets at his exhausted friend. “Looks like.. I made it right on time,” he lets out through sporadic, heavy breaths. From the corner of Nanami’s eye, Geto looked slightly annoyed at the fact that he was slightly one-upped. 
Before Nanami could even express his gratitude, the click of an unlocking door sounded from behind him. They all look over to see Takada shacho with a wide smile. To his right, you stood there, your body completely stiff from nerves. Nanami could tell that, despite everything, you still looked at him with those eyes, finding some sort of solace in them. 
Takada jumped a bit, humored at the sight of 3 of his Head of Departments. “Well, good morning to you all,” their boss hums heartily. All of them, including Haibara, bow. “I haven’t seen you 3 together since last year's Holiday Party. The only person we’re missing here is Satoru.” 
Satoru Gojo, the Head of IT. 
Geto nods, “they’ve been quite busy since changing the system for our company hub.” 
Takada nods, “I need to go visit them soon. See if there’s any relief I can send to their department. Speaking of…” Takada then moves away from you and allows you the spotlight. “Everyone, please turn your attention here.” 
You felt your nerves right at your throat. Though this was a good thing, you were never a fan of being front and center of anything. You always had stage fright, surely since you were younger. Having the attention and eyes of many was something you could never get used to, even now in your adult life. Nanami could see you remaining frigid while expressing a sheepish smile. 
As Takada begins to congratulate you on your new role as Office Manager, Nanami quickly walks up to you and puts the two bouquets in your hand. Although it was sudden and the bouquets held some weight to them, it provided a shield from your fellow colleagues staring at you. Nobody questioned it as claps and quiet cheers erupted in the office. 
You noticed Nanami standing firmly to your side, smiling at everyone while gently nudging you with his arm. You look up at him, uncertainty glimmering in your eyes. He mouths a silent ‘congratulations’ with a very wide and proud smile. You knew he was going to ask you about it later, but right now, it felt nice to just get a simple praise. It was the one bit of calmness within the chaotic sounds of claps and praises. 
“I hope everyone can join me in wishing Y/N much luck in her deserved promotion,” Takada announces, causing the crowd to quiet down. Praises continued to stream, but you could barely pay attention as you stared up at Nanami’s hazel eyes. But you did get interrupted by Ieiri’s hand latching onto your forearm. You look ahead to meet the eyes of both of your previous bosses. 
While anxiously holding onto the bouquets, you quickly bowed before the both of them, “a-ah, Ieiri kacho, Geto kacho! It is wonderful to see you both!” 
“And we you, Y/L/N,” Geto hums with a soft tone. “Many congratulations on your promotion. May your transition be as perfect as your work ethic.” 
You bow once again, attempting to find calm in Haibara’s frantic thumbs up shaking in the background. “Thank you very much… I would have never been able to even get here without you, Geto kacho.” 
Geto emits a hearty laugh before grinning, “you said it first.” 
Ieiri promptly shoves him a bit, smiling down at you, “why don’t we all have celebratory breakfast?” Ieiri looks over at Takada with a pearly smile. “Can Y/N delay her work so she can celebrate her monumental accomplishment with us?” 
Takada smiles before nodding, “please, feel free to take your time. I’d love to join you all, but my entire schedule is booked with meetings. Enjoy in my absence. And again, congratulations, Y/N.” 
They all bow before Takada, who takes his leave back into his office. A brief silence ensues before Geto goes up to you and begins to take the bouquets from your arms. “A-ah, Geto kacho, you don’t have to,” you insist, attempting to keep them in your arms. “You are already carrying one yourself.” 
Before Geto could even advance, Nanami quickly holds your elbow and tilts you so you’d be facing him. Without another second, he takes back the two bouquets from your arms. “Let me carry them for you, Y/N kacho,” Nanami says quietly. 
Your heart melts. Your mind was going blank. You could vomit from excitement, anxiety, and enchantment from Nanami’s teasing. “Th-thank you, Nanami kacho,” you say shyly, feeling your cheeks erupt in heat. 
“I’m no longer your kacho,” Nanami quickly spews, “feel free to drop that honorific for me.” There was something brewing in those hazel eyes, and you were left to wonder what goes on behind those beautiful orbs.
Taglist (OPEN)
@blossomedfloweroflove @numblytemporary @everyoneandtheirmothers @animechick555 @inthedarkshadows000
@m-arj-1 @julk4e @hadassery @swoozleee @angxlsatvrn
@v1x3n @s-witch-bitch @furgusonn @watyousayin @thechaoticarchivist
@simp-manhwa @5sos-wdw @ffyona1214 @phantombaby @evangel44xxcds
@ukiyodestiny @jasminelee324 @eurydxceorphxus @moonlightazriel @s3rp3ntsssc0ve
@dusty-dweller @wifenanami @bokuatsubro @ayesayman @starry-eyed--dreamer
@gradmacoco @nymphsdomain @whatelsecouldgowrong @myynameisbuckyy @nanamjai
@a-sor @typicalchels @celestialzdiviner @satoru-is-the-way @sannieworshipper
@shibataimu
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lunarsilver · 1 day ago
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What should you appreciate in yourself?
REMEMBER
I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.
It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.
If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.
Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.
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1 ~ 2 ~ 3
PILE 1
The Hanged Man R - Eight of Wands R - King of Swords - Back of the Deck: Ace of Swords
The first thing I immediately saw is how all the cards have imagery concentrated on straight, vertical lines, which makes me think that no matter what, you stand tall. If you fall, you stand up. That’s what the cards tell me. Even when there are delays and setbacks, even when the path isn’t clear, you can see the bigger picture and assess the situation coolly. You should appreciate the sharpness of your mind, pile one. Even in dry situations, you can come up with new ideas - and good ones at that. Moreover, you most likely are good at articulating your suggestions and opinions. You give me the vibe of someone with silent power and quiet charisma, pile one. No matter how confusing the situation, you’ll find the solution.
PILE 2
The Fool - Six of Wands - Two of Pentacles - Back of the Deck: Four of Cups R
Right off the bat, you give me a pretty free vibe, pile two, with how all the characters in the cards seem to dance, or pose, or put their hands high, or just look happy or proud. I think Four of Cups in reverse at the back encourages you to think for a moment about all the wonderful stuff you do. You keep starting new projects, and you succeed at them, getting public recognition for that. At the same time, you still somehow know how to find time for all of this and balance all your projects or jobs. That’s worth admiring, pile two! If that’s not the case, if you’re more withdrawn, then the cards encourage you to get out of your shell and show the world all these wonderful skills you have.
PILE 3
Ten of Pentacles - Ace of Wands - The Fool R - Back of the Deck: Queen of Cups
You’ve already achieved a lot, pile three. I think I may have some working moms here. Wait, I moved the card of Queen of Cups by accident, and underneath there are Knave of Cups and King of Cups, in this order. I swear I shuffled the cards long, and yet they are together. This further proves my feeling that quite many of you here have your own family - either a literal one, like a kid and a husband, or you have friends with whom you’re close, like a family. You have some wealth and have created a stable foundation for future endeavors - and you use it! You see new opportunities and have potential to grow even more, so you take the risk. Furthermore, you should appreciate how much you’ve already achieved and how you’re still willing to achieve even more. You’re an example that just because Queen of Cups is in tune with her emotions, it doesn’t make her weak. Rather, how compassionate and intuitive you are is your power.
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echantedtoon · 2 days ago
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A Lovers' Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch17 Setting Hearts A Blaze P3
Taglist: @shadyd3ar @jcrml
@tengensangel @miniverse-zen @mysteri0uz @jjamsbangtan
@the-unknown-fandom
@lavenderdropp @mimisweetz. @purplesoulsapphire
@kksmush @denkpanda18 @whomisi @lessthanimperfect @silver-rin
@namis-noodlebox
@k1ttyluverz @akiramente
@rascalraccoon @ravenclawkae1
@gilded-sunrays @crescent-blades
@yukari1k @bloodymarysgirl21
@artbyrebel @abaker74
Remember if you want to be added to the taglist lemme know
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You didn't want to do this. But they asked to see your aunt. If they found out that you didn't ask her then they'll be upset. But if I DO ask her I know she's going to do something embarrassing like take their cups to read their tea leaves or show up in her fortune teller's outfit. Gods. What if she does the same thing she did when she met Gyomei?!
Your body cringed inwards on itself just picturing your aunt feeling Kyojuro's arm and then declaring he'd make a wonderful husband for someone she knew. Your gut feeling BEGGED you to not go through with it, and you had asked your boyfriend's opinion on the matter. He knew what she was like so surely he'd be against the idea too right?
"They requested her presence didn't they? It would be unkind to everyone if you don't at least tell her about the invitation."
Crap. He was right. Sigh. You'd have to go tell her the next time you saw her, which happened to be the very next day. So with a heavy feeling in your stomach, you drove all the way to her house and forced yourself to climb up the steps and enter the house where you found your aunt trying to manhandle giant boxes of Christmas decorations out of the thin entrance to her attic. 
"They want to what?"
"They wanted to invite you to dinner." You ducked avoiding the top plastic pine needles of a Christmas tree. "To thank you for helping them out. Um..Do want a hand?"
"I'm not old as dirt yet! I can put up a stupid tree." You only watched her struggle with the big thing until she wobbly placed it hard on the floor with a thud before sighing and stepping back to admire her work. "When is this dinner?"
"Um..I think Kyojuro said it was tomorrow night?"
"NO CAN DO, KIDDO!" She pointed up spinning on her heel and walking over to a big box labeled 'ornaments'. "I'm going to a speed dating event! There's only so much of me to go around!"
You sighed. A wave of relief flooding over you for a long moment. "So.. You'll be busy?"
"Honey, broken hearts and lonely souls are an epidemic in the world. When the world's calling me I must answer!"
"Well you didn't have to say it like a line written out of a story."
She waved you off. "Life is a story. Who's writing the story is whoever you decide to give the pencil to." Her arm then made a come here gesture. "Now come help me decorate the place! The halls won't deck themselves."
Everything seemed to go well enough the next day. Of course being a Saturday you had no work, but you still had the project with Giyuu and Shinobu to do due the last day of November which wasn't too far off. You opted to do it early in the morning so you could just go grocery shopping. So you did what you've been doing every morning. Getting up and ready before leaving to meet up with your friends at their house. Just ended up doing an hour of yoga before leaving to go grocery shopping at the local supermarket. Giyuu offered to drive you back but you declined as pretty much everything was within walking distance, even if it was pretty cold out. 
No doubt the first snow wouldn't be too far behind. That's what you thought to yourself as you walked into the thankfully warm grocery store, and grabbed a shopping cart to start pushing it around to start grabbing groceries and things you'd need for dinner tomorrow night, some rice and eel cutlets for unadon. So it really was a surprise for you to just be carting around listening to the generic Christmas music already being played over the loudspeakers and the squeaky wheel of the cart as you pushed it along, stopping every so while to grab milk and eggs and other small things, only to turn the corner into the other aisle and then completely pause.
You blinked before a big smile pressed against your lips at the realization of a familiar face. A man with short ink black hair was standing sideways at the end of the aisle. Shopping basket in one hand while his other ran across canned goods looking at each label for a specific product. Murata didn't see you as you started up towards him.
"Murata!"
"GAH?!" Said man jumped and whirled around as fast as a startled cat but he paused and blinked upon seeing you. "Y/n?!"
You giggled. "Yep! It's me!"
"Don't do that! I could've had a heart attack!"
Despite his frown you giggled again. "Sorry. I haven't seen you in like a month! How have you been?"
"Hmph. I've been fine. Trying to pay for rent and go to classes hasn't been easy to multitask lately is all."
"Oh. I'm so sorry. Your boyfriend ok?"
"Sabito's fine. Like I said, it's just been super busy." Murata paused taking a moment to lean over and look behind you for something. Or really someone. "Is..your boyfriend here too?"
"Gyomei? No. He's helping a friend move some stuff. Why?"
He didn't answer at first. Continuing to look behind you and then behind him as if making sure you both were alone before looking back at you in a dead serious face. "Are you here by yourself?"
"Um.." Your brow rose at him. "Yes? You're being kinda weird, Dude."
"I just wanted to make sure none of...those people were around here." 'Those people'? Who was he talking about? Looking around once more, Murata looked back to your confused face. "Remember when I said I had something important to tell you?" You nodded. You did but he never told you what he wanted to talk about. "I wanted to warn you sooner but you were surrounded by those guys all the time."
"Warn me?" That certainly surprised you. "Warn me about what? And what are you talking about?" 
"I'm talking about the polycule nuts!" You blinked as he groaned. "I'm talking about your boyfriend's boyfriends..and girlfriends!"
"You mean Giyuu and Shinobu?"
"And the rest of them!"
You were surprised. What about your friends warranted Murata wanting to warn you? It confused you to the core. "Why? What's so wrong with them?"
"Um. Everything??" He held up his hands. "When I first saw that guy I thought he looked familiar but I didn't know he was Himejima. If I'd known who it was then I would've told you to not go out with him!"
"Why? What's so wrong with him?"
"How do you not know about their reputation?!" He facepalmed with a loud groan. 
"Murata, WHAT are you talking about?"
"People call them the 'Haishira' on campus." He explained looking up from his hands. "And they're pretty notorious for their lifestyle."
"You mean the fact that they're polyamorous?" Your brow rose with a frown. "Murata, there's lots of people in the world that's polyamorous. I'm not being cheated on or anything if that's what you're worried about. I already know about Gyomei having other partners and I'm fine with that-"
"It's not just that!" He cut you off with a look. "It's already super weird, but it's WAY beyond having like an extra boyfriend or girlfriend on the side! I'm worried about you being around them. Especially dangerous people like Shinazugawa and Iguro Obanai. And that Tengen guy!"
Sanemi and Obanai? Why? What was wrong with them? And Tengen?  Your questions were answered as Murata continued talking in your silence.
"Both of them have got a bad reputation on campus and for good reason. They're always getting into fights and Sanemi sent a guy to the hospital his first year of Uni just cuz someone hit on his girlfriend! Everyone's scared of them cuz they're loose cannons! Not to mention that Tengen guy is like the biggest womanizer on campus! He's always flirting with people and winking and posing naked for the art classes-"
"Don't... people usually volunteer as nude models for art class all the time so the students can practice drawing anatomy?"
"That doesn't change the fact that they're all super weird to be around! Look! I'm like REALLY worried about you here! And as your friend, I'm begging you to stay away from those guys! They're trouble and there's a reason why people avoid them!"
Haishira? Avoiding them? Well you knew from Gyomei that many people tended to opt out of dating him due to his blindness or after learning about his orientation, but you never heard anything about them all having any kind of 'reputation'. The closest thing to that is when you had encountered Jake a second time at the pub. One of his friends had seemed to recognize Sanemi causing the group of them to flee the scene.
But Sanemi dangerous?
Not to you. He'd been nothing but respectful and passive towards most people outside of his relationships you've seen him interact with. He wasn't rude to anyone that didn't decide to poke him with a stick or decide to be rude or try to cause trouble to someone he seemed to care for. Most of the time around other people he just seemed neutral. Obanai...well you didn't know him too well. You've only spoken to him a handful of times but he didn't seem like someone who would harm someone on a whim either. As for Tengen, he was flirty whenever you spoke to him but that seemed more like his personality than him going around womanizing people.
"They never acted that way when I was around them."
"That's because you're dating their boyfriend! Which is a sentence I never thought I would ever say! *Sigh* Look. I just don't want to see you get hurt again!" His hand found your shoulder and a look of concern came over him. "I'd ask you to break up with him but I don't know if I'm in a position to do that. So instead I'm gonna warn you."
You still stared at him for a long, silent moment before sighing. "Murata, I appreciate your concern and I'm glad I have such a good friend. But I'm happy. Gyomei's not perfect, far from it actually, but for the first time I'm seeing someone who makes me happy and I'm worried about if he's going to ghost me or is secretly married. He makes me happy, and I actually like making friends with them. They're good people despite what rumors or people say. You don't have to worry about me."
Murata slowly sighed again deflating with a nod. "I had a feeling you'd probably say something like that. But...Would you at least please, PLEASE promise me you'll be careful?"
You smiled at him. "I promise but you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine."
**************************************
You didn't know what to feel for the rest of the day. Running into Murata had left a bad taste in your mouth in your otherwise happy mood. It's not that you believed the rumors that were repeated to you in worry by him. Of course you didn't believe Sanemi was actually dangerous or any of the other ridiculous things Murata warned you about, but there was something bugging you.
Rumors usually didn't start out of no where.
Usually they were started by someone or they were based off something that did happen or sometimes a bit of both. So now which of the three was it? You debated calling Sanemi and asking him yourself but it would've been too awkward to just ask if he'd ever beat up someone and put him in the hospital. So instead you just went home and put your groceries away in some attempt to get your mind off the fact despite it still bugging you. Your day had gone by normally then but you still didn't shake the feeling of curiosity surrounding it all. In fact you nearly forgotten about the time because you were so distracted by it all. The clock showed up five p.m and the dinner was supposed to be at six.
OH CRAP!! YOU WERE GONNA BE LATE!!
It was a rush to shower and throw on a cute sweater before grabbing what you needed and running out of the door and towards the restaurant Kyojuro had insisted on you coming too. Luckily you knew exactly what restaurant it was. It was the new one Mitsuri wanted to go to but couldn't because it had been closed. It was right across from the park and the park wasn't too far away from your house as well. 
Of course the afternoon was cold and nearly dark as the days grew shorter this time of year, but you held your purse halfway in your teeth as you yanked your coat over your shoulders and hoped the wind didn't smear your makeup. You were going to be late. You were going to be late. Oh you hoped they weren't going to be mad at you for being late. The trip as the sun set quickly took you along the sidewalks on your usual route to the university only to go straight through the park as some kind of short cut and straight to the streets and buildings on the other side. Where you went to was the first big building  that let delicious smelling food waft on the breeze. That should be the one.
With a brisk pace you made towards the older styled building and opened the front door setting off a bell above your head, and a wave of warn air washed over your cold skin. Immediately after you stepped in, someone else was standing right there in front of you with a wide smile. 
"Greetings!," he greeted you with a smile on his customer service face and a waiter's suit slapped on his body. "Do you have a reservation, Ma'am?"
"Um." You pushed the hair from your face attempting to smooth it over from the wind blowing it about. "N-No."
"Oh. I'm afraid I can't seat you without a reservation."
"I'm actually meeting someone here. Uh..Rengoku?"
"Rengoku? Hm. Let's see." From his podium thing he looked down at what you assumed was a check book. "Ah, yes. Table fourteen. Of course." With a gesture of his arm he pointed towards the inside massive room of tables. "Please follow me."
You did hoping you didn't look too out of place amongst the fancy furnishings and dressed up people. Until you spotted a familiar face and head of red hair. ...And a very familiar sounding voice.
"Umai!....Umai!....Umai!!"
You heard him before you saw him. Following him to the table in question revealed three identical figures of long red hair. One of which was a young man shoving pieces of wagyu steak pieces into his mouth and yelling out each time he took a bite. Yep. That was definitely Kyojuro alright.
The worker stopped behind Kyojuro whom had his back towards you but gained the attention of his parents. Shinjuro and Ruka if you remembered right from the party. "Excuse me, S-"
"UMAI!!"
Both the worker and yourself jumped back as Kyojuro just whirled around to surprise both of you. His wide grin only instantly widened more and his eyes brightened up when he saw you standing there. 
"Y/N!!" Kyojuro announced loudly catching the attention of more tables turning to look towards the loud voice. "You've made it!"
With a blink or two you slowly relaxed back and awkwardly nodded. "Um. Y-Yeah. Sorry I'm late. I got..distracted."
"Nonsense! You arrived just in time!" With a scoot over, he easily moved his plate over and gestured to the place next to him. "Come sit! Join us and have something to eat!"
Taking the opportunity to make this less awkward, you quickly sat down next to Kyojuro and across from his father. The older man sat there with a neutral expression on his face as he watched you sit down in front of him. With a smile you turned to Kyojuro whom smiled widely and softly at you. A little strange but you figured it was out of gratitude for what you and your aunt did for them. 
"I'm glad you could make it!," he started with a bright tone, "With your busy schedule I was afraid you wouldn't make it."
You waved him off. "Oh no. I wouldn't miss this! It was really nice of your family to invite me for dinner."
"Indeed! Speaking of which, I don't see your aunt anywhere? Is she running late as well?," he asked looking over your shoulder and around the restaurant in search of anyone else coming towards their table. 
"I'm sorry but she couldn't make it since she's working tonight."
"That's a shame." Mrs. Rengoku smiled at you softly. "I was so looking forward to meeting her, but maybe next time. However I'm happy to make your acquaintance again. You're Y/n correct?"
You nodded. "That's me. I'm happy to hear that you're situation has improved!"
"Yes! My husband and I are very grateful! Thank you!" ....Ms. Ruka turned to her husband before lightly bumping her elbow into his arm.
He jolted turning to her. "What?" Ruka motioned her eyes towards you as he stared. "Oh. Right." He sighed before turning to you with a semi frown. "Thank you I suppose but I didn't need any help. It was nothing I couldn't have solved myself.. Eventually."
"There's no need to thank me really!" You held up your hands. "I'm just glad you all are doing better!"
"Well the least we can do is buy you dinner."
"Oh, you don't have to. I can pay for my own food."
You stopped blinking up as Kyojuro placed a hand on yours which he was still holding up. You blinked again looking between him and where he held your hand before he spoke up again.
"I insist. My treat. One meal is the least I can do to pay you back for all the kindness that you shown me."
"You?"
"Uh! M-My family too!," he quickly corrected. "I truly do insist! Please get whatever you'd like and I'll take care of it!"
"Well...I usually don't like taking other people's money like this."
"Then just take it as paying you back for those delicious cookies you've made us and we can call it even!"
You hummed again thinking it over. "Mmm...Ok. But just this once."
He beamed. "OF COURSE!! You won't regret it! Order whatever you'd like!"
"Thank you!" ....You looked down. "Um. Kyojuro." He hummed in question. "You're still holding my hand."
Immediately his eyes shot down and a bright pink color slapped across his upon the realization. "AH!! APOLOGIES!!" He immediately cried out loudly dropping your hand and making his mother giggle, his brother blink, and his father sigh and roll his eyes.
The dinner was nice. Casual even. Nothing really strange about it. You all talked about where everyone worked, what Ms. Ruka did as a calligraphy teacher, how Kyojuro came to work part time at the local shelter, a little bit about Senjuro's studies, and at one point Kyojuro asked how the project with Giyuu and Shinobu was going. Just a casual, normal family conversation...Minus yourself as you weren't a part of the Rengoku Family.
Slowly things came to a close. You did try to one more time pay for the small meal you had ordered but Kyojuro had pushed your card away and slapped down enough money to easily pay for both of your meals plus a tip for the waiter....
It was odd though. 
His parents paid for their own and his brother's meals. Wasn't he paying for everyone? You brushed it off in the moment as you all made for the exit and then as you turned to bid them goodnight, Kyojuro turned to you sharply.
"Let me walk you home." You blinked at him. "It's getting dark and I'm sure Gyomei would appreciate that I didn't let his girlfriend walk home alone one dark winter night."
"What about your home? Isn't it in the opposite direction?"
"Haha! I don't live with my parents and my home is much closer to yours than theirs. I'll be fine!"
You were a bit confused with the sudden gesture, but Gyomei and even Giyuu once or twice had walked you home before so Kyojuro walking you home wasn't a bad thing. "Ok. If you're sure."
That's when he offered his arm out to you taking you aback again. Wasn't expecting him to do that. Was it ok to accept? After debating on it for a moment, you accepted his arm and (after thanking his parents for dinner and telling them all good bye-) you both walked back towards the park. It was mostly silent now in the dark with the night sky overhead. The only lights in the park being the stars and street lamps. Eerie. You were kinda glad you accepted Kyojuro's offer after all.
Midway through the park you slowly glanced up at him. He wasn't looking at you and instead continuing to walk and look around with you leading him towards your house....Maybe..HE had answers to your problem?
"Kyojuro?" He snapped to you immediately with a questioning him. It was kinda spooky how fast he reacted. Hesitating you looked away from him. "Can I..ask you something?"
"BUT OF COURSE!!," His loud voice echoed over the park. "Ask away!"
You hesitated again feeling a bit guilty. "Well...N-Not too long ago I ran into someone else who goes to the university." You decided it was best not to throw Murata under the metaphorical bus and keep his name out of it. "And...they told me some stuff about you guys-"
You stopped. Well Kyojuro immediately holted to a stop yanking you back too. The sudden jolt had you blinking, looking at him in instinct only to pause at the way he was staring at you. Still smiling but it looked more...serious.
"I see..", he slowly said after a moment, "What kind of 'stuff' did they tell you?"
"Oh..N-Nothing I actually believe of course." You quickly added holding up your free hand. "It's just some rumors."
"What kind of 'rumors'?"
You winced shrinking up a little bit and looking away again. "Well...T-They said that...Sanemi and Obanai were dangerous- Again I don't believe that! And t-t-that Te-Tengen was a...playboy I guess- Again I don't believe any of it!" You again looked at him nervously. "I-It's just something that someone else told me and I-I thought you guys should know about it is all!"
.... Kyojuro blinked. "Oh. Is that all?" You were again taken aback when he threw his head back and laughed loudly. His laughing echoing off the wind before he looked at you. "Those old rumors again. You have nothing to worry about." He assured you waving a hand. "Those are baseless rumors people had made up over misunderstandings and bad intentions!"
A sigh of relief left you despite it all. Yeah. You already figured as much, but hearing someone else confirm it put you at ease. "I figured that already... Although there is one more thing bugging me."
His head tilted. "And what might that be?"
"This person also told me Sanemi got into a really bad fight with someone who ended up in the hospital." You couldn't shake the way those men literally feared Sanemi at the pub. Something clearly happened. "Is that true?'
Kyojuro stared at you still, looked you up and down, before sighing. "It is but it's exaggerated way out of context. What really happened was someone else tried to kiss Hinatsuru without her consent at a party. When they wouldn't leave her alone, Sanemi more or less punched him in the face."
"So..he did make someone go to the hospital?"
"Well I suppose technically but the only thing he had was a broken nose. People like to make it seem like he had beaten the man into a coma but it's simply just a matter of him defending someone he cares about."
"Like he did for me."
Kyojuro smiled wider. "Yes. Exactly! You get it! Is that everything that concerns you?"
You nodded in relief. "Yes it does. Thank you, Kyojuro. It's been really comforting. I guess it goes to show there's still things to learn about you guys."
A glimmer of excitement formed in his eyes. "Then you should come celebrate with Tengen next weekend!"
You blinked. "Huh?"
"There's this cloud we're celebrating Mario's birthday at! Since you'd like to learn more about us you should come along and spend time with everyone!"
"I-...I don't know. I haven't even been invited." 
"I'll throw the idea their way! If they say yes, you should come! It'll be lots of fun!"
"Well..Maybe. I'll have to think about it first!"
"SPLENDID!! Now come! It's getting colder and as much as I enjoy the beautiful night, Gyomei wouldn't be happy if I allowed you to catch a cold."
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atangledfate · 3 days ago
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He wasn't trying to guilt trip her, not intentionally at any rate. He was sincerely worried about her. He was also just worried about how Kit would react and also that he might rush off and try to break her out. Frankly he wasn't sure he'd stop her either. But it was clear she was set in her plan and there wasn't any room for deviations. Though he was happy she had her memory back, he had lots of questions about her past! yet he doubted she'd share...
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" Yea well i hope they bugger off to but i have a feeling they won't. GUN doesn't do anything without big plans, and plans for there plans... guess we should get to the check point and see whats happening... though i'm a big fan of wrecking there shit and asking questions later... but Tails is probably right. It's likely what they want... more excuses to try and lock me up... "
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck and grit his teeth
" And sorry, i didn't mean for it to come off that way... i just wanna help you two. I know you probably don't see it that way. But i've only ever wanted to help you two... so, yea i'll take care of the kid... no matter what you can count on me..."
He caught the little pager shocked these even existed. But suddenly wanting one for himself. Way easier to deal with then losing his phone all the time. What was he on like the 11th one? at some point tails was gonna stop fixing and replacing the damn thing. His eyes turned to belle as she arrived and placed a hand on the back of his neck.
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" NOPE! not really ok... apparently i'm not allowed to go rogue and beat GUN's snoz in... so says Surge... but i'm managing. How are things on your end? Better luck then we are having i hope--- then again we did manage to not throw hands so i guess that's progress eh Surge "
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Tails was happy they were having any kind of agreement at all. But he could be fairly pragmatic when he had to be. Kit was right they had to meet in the middle, and some concessions had to be made. Still depending on the Nurses limits she might prove useful. Still it was a start and they should get started before long they'd stood around long enough.
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" Well i can't disagree with you, some concessions have to be made. Trust me he seems as blunt as you are... he might even appreciate the bluntness ... Let's go talk to the nurse and see what defenses if any they have. Also find out what her limit is. She could prove useful if push comes to shove "
He nodded his head to Kit
" Holograms, i have some nifty decoy orbs on me should be able to get them to project dozens of images with some tweaks. It's enough to throw any attacking forces off there game "
Tails headed inside and looked about the nurses finding the one he was sure was the main dawn. She had a 1 on her uniform, and a head nurse badge. He'd jab his thumb back at the doorway, as he spoke to her.
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" So ... my friend and i were talking, this place might have to become a military check point. We need to figure out what defenses you have... mostly we just want to make the place appear like are more people then there are ready to fight. Denture the enemy you know... and i noticed your ability and i thought it was perfect. I guess im wondering what you can do and if you can fight..."
The Mouse girl smiled and lifted up her skirt and pulled out her Wispeon, as did all the other copies at the same time. A little green Wisp floated around her and hummed! as the mice all powered up the Wispeons at once.
" DON'T you worry mr. Tails sir! if worse comes to worst! we can go from pharmacist! to harmacist! Just tell me where you need the girls! and we'll be ready for action! as for defenses! we have blast doors... and Doctor Altiss installed those gatling lasers turrets! "
She pointed above to the large guns mounted on the roof! turned out the kindly Doctor was packing some big guns to defend the infirmary!
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" Heh... Harmacist ... i get it...Well, any suggestions Kitsunami... i'm surew we can build on what we got..."
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"Yeah, well, not completely. At least not anymore. With my memories back I'm in a weird place right now, almost like I'm a different person again. Another thing I'm going to have to work out in my head." Surge didn't feel like Selene, though couldn't say she was herself completely. The tenrec was certainly more Surge, though didn't feel as angry as she did. Maybe more at peace with herself. It was weird.
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"This time they'll have to get past me, and I'll put them in a fucking body cast if they wanna throw down." Surge still wasn't one to hold her punches, and if GUN wants to throw down then she'll throw down. "Let's hope your friend can get them to piss of so I can deal with Drippy." The faster they get this over with the faster she can deal with that whole situation.
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"You're worrying is coming off as guilt trip so work on that shit." Surge guessed she assumed Sonic was trying to guilt trip her, though it sounded that way. "I know what I gotta do, and Drippy is going to be upset, though he'll go with you." The tenrec then took off her pager, tossing it at the hedgehog. "Just in case he tries doubting you. Showing him that should keep him calm enough to work with you. And remember, you don't tell a soul where you're going. Not even Tails." The speedster was sure that was a big ask, though was sure once he got to where the small map lead he'd understand why.
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Belle could then be seen running up to the two, along with half of all available soldiers inside the base currently. "I hope I came at a good time," the tinkerer said, before looking at Sonic. "Sorry if this sounds bad or insensitive, though are you okay to handle this?" The puppet's slightly subtle way to hint she knew that Sonic was mad. Hopefully he wasn't right now.
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"To be blunt and not insensitive he may have to get over it. I'm only thinking worse case scenario with that idea though. Assuming they get GUN to leave peacefully then the idea of a small check point is better for right now. I say we suggest they start finding anything we can use to barricade the doors in case GUN attacks with heavy force." Kitsunami was meeting in the middle ground for right now.
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"If you're suggesting we put all the mouse in uniform to trick GUN into thinking there's more active members then their are I suppose that could work. Though we'd need a lot of gear and Wispon for their size to be as convincing as possible. Unless you're implying we use some holograms of some kind." The fennec was sure there would be a lot of ways to trick GUN into thinking there were a lot of soldiers here right now.
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"Fine, though you should let him know I'm blunt when I state my points." Kitsunami knew the way he speaks often comes of as rude and insensitive when he is just blunt and monotone. "Though I'm also hoping he has his own security measures to keep out any hostiles if need be." The fennec didn't know much about the doctor, though he seemed to take things seriously.
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yanderes-galore · 2 days ago
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Oooh I wonder what would yandere Shinra as a platonic yandere be like 👀 can I please request that with hcs please with a cherry on top 
I mean... Dude goes to extreme lengths to get his brother back from what I remember. I wouldn't be surprised if he went feral when it came to his obsession either. Sorry this seemed so disorganized. I was overthinking a bit too much.
Minor spoiler warning for the end of the manga, I make small references to it based on what I've seen on it.
Yandere! Platonic! Shinra Kusakabe Concept
Pairing: Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Violence, Overprotective behavior, Fear of loss, Isolation, Murder, Blood, Dubious/Forced companionship.
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Shinra has always wanted to be a hero in the eyes of the people.
He's had that promise to his mother since he was five.
He's always been one who wants to protect those close to him.
His entire life he's been seen as a devil due to his powers.
He was always blamed for killing his mother and brother.
In reality it was never him.
For most of his life, before he knew Shō was alive, Shinra had been alone.
Then he joined Fire Company 8.
Leading him to meet many new friends in his brigade... Including you.
I feel when it comes to his obsession, he'd want to be a hero but accidentally seem like a devil in the process.
He doesn't want you scared of him... but he can be ruthless with that power of his.
He only wants to use his power for good.
He's also, surprisingly, one to prioritize the mission over his own personal emotions.
Despite that I feel he'd slip up when it comes to you, the one he loves like he would love family.
An important thing to know about Shinra is the fact he's a destructive force.
He always has been with his Ignition Ability... along with whatever happens later in the manga.
He's always been someone who has treasured family.
He used to have a strong connection to his mother and brother when he was young.
So of course I'd see him be overly obsessive and protective towards someone he feels a similar way towards.
When Shinra met you in his Brigade he couldn't help but feel a connection.
You always wanted to help and never saw him as some destructive devil.
You admired his goal to be a hero... You supported him.
Even as Shinra got stronger... He always kept you in mind.
I never finished the manga, but from what I've seen I can tell Shinra's are stronger than everyone else... and just keeps getting stronger.
Apparently Shinra soon becomes stronger than a God near the end of the manga...
Having him as any type of yandere would be terrifying.
Even before he reaches that point, he's incredibly fast and strong.
He's already a powerhouse before his story concludes.
While he always tells you he just wants to protect you, to be your hero...
He could easily eviscerate anyone he wanted if he tried hard enough.
It's... actually scary to think about?
You're clueless and just see Shinra as your best friend, taking down Infernals and helping the populace be less scared of the flames.
All while Shinra is capable of world ending power that he just hasn't unlocked yet.
It's a... subtle danger.
I can see Shinra acting overly protective of you due to him seeing you as his found family.
He acts like a brother to you, always insistent he trains with you and always looking out for you....
With you he smiles genuinely.
He hasn't felt this happy in a long time.
I can see Shinra as a sacrificing yandere.
He'd do anything to see you happy and safe.
He lives for your smile.
Shinra has taken down many strong Infernals in his career.
I can see him taking blows for you to the point he comes out of the battle injured.
He acts like your shield, a destructive force willing to protect the one person her cherishes the most.
You could scold him all you want as he gets patched up...
Even your upset face is proof you're alive and still with him.
Shinra is obviously scared of loss.
He's scared one day the flames will steal you away from him like they did his family.
Honestly if that ever happened, he wouldn't cope.
He may actually snap if his Brigade doesn't get him under control.
He usually doesn't let his emotions drive his decisions.
Yet with you it's difficult.
He often has nightmares of you being made Infernal or another Infernal taking you out.
That fear always settles in the back of his mind like an annoying tick.
That fear is what makes him cling and hover around you, never wanting to look away for even a moment.
Shinra, platonic or romantic, is a force that only seems to be controlled by you at times.
When others ask how he feels about you, thinking his feelings must be something more than a friend, he answers the same thing every time...
"To they're family."
It's innocent enough...
But as his obsession continues, many begin to see how he fights as... devilish.
He has a noble goal, to protect you and all he loves.
Yet there's times he's more cruel than he should be.
There's times he gets too into it... gets too destructive...
It scares you when you realize how much power he has.
You don't doubt Shinra would do anything for you.
He's brave, confident, selfless...
Yet also impulsive, sometimes pushy and demanding....
Shinra is at his calmest when you two are at the Company 8 Cathedral.
He likes to sit by you during work or silently watch the stars with you.
He's admitted to you that he's glad you're beside him... that he sees you as a new family... that he'll do anything to see you safe.
Perhaps even kill, as he soon proves to you during battles against human forces.
Shinra seems fine to be around until he decides some humans need to be dealt with to keep you safe.
Shinra, as I said before, may slip and allow his paranoia to get to him.
He becomes obsessed with being your hero... your friend... maybe even someone you see like a brother...
So much so that he snaps.
At first he's just more clingy or argues with other members too often.
It's nothing big... you try to correct him since you care for him...
But you notice he's off the deep end when he kills someone in front of you.
Your life was threatened by a White-Clad.
You were going to handle it on your own... You had to...
Then Shinra shows up out of nowhere, Adolla Burst spitting flickering flames...
Only for you to see the White-Clad dead on the ground, a hole in their chest, and blood coating Shinra's leg.
When Shinra turns with a nervous grin...
He really does look like a devil, the thought striking fear in your heart as the fact he killed someone settles in.
You try to avoid Shinra after that, but of course he doesn't let you.
He loves you too much to just allow you to leave him.
He knows it's scary to see him do that...
But he does it because he's protecting you.
It isn't long after that Shinra begins to isolate you.
He wants you to rely on him... to see him as family like he does with you...
He isn't going to hesitate harming others if it means you're safe...
You can tell something in him snapped.
He probably snapped after fighting Shō the first time....
Shinra, after killing to protect you and fighting Shō in the Netherworld, isn't the same after that.
Fear drives him and suddenly his actions aren't heroic...
You can no longer see his smile in a positive light... because it's the same smile he makes before killing someone else...
To you he's become a devil, a powerful being unable to be controlled, and you can no longer believe his words when he says he'll protect you...
You hate that his only justification is your safety... He's only a monster to you... Perhaps he never was family.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic#tag talk#like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in.#taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond#I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that.#a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing.#a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached.#people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment.#if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't.#there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship.#why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time#cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live#and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with.#and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels#I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden.#but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue.#I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually#the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously.#I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable#and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting
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alxclaremont · 2 years ago
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many thinky thoughts are being thinky thunk
#this sentence is so funny to me rn im giggling#anyway#thinking about how i’ve met so many wonderful people in college in just this past semester#like. i’ve one of my bestest friends who is one of the people im going to be living with next year along with two of my other#bestest besties who i went to hs with but absolutely adore. i love all three of them so much#and then there’s a whole group of wonderful people from a club that i joined that i’ve been so thankful to call each one of them my friends#when i genuinely went into that not knowing if they would end up not liking me because i was sick during the retreat and couldn’t initially#meet them or anyone else from the upper committees#and then i unexpectedly became the best of friends with a ta from one of my classes and i love her she’s so great#not to mention all of the other wonderful people ive met randomly and dont see that much but appreciate nonetheless#im so excited to meet even more people next school year when i start joining new clubs#whenever i get asked ‘whats one thing you want to do while youre here’ and i always answer meet new people#i absolutely love and adore meeting new people and the college i go to has more than delivered that#it’s genuinely so welcoming to be here and it feels like the home i haven’t felt for the past year and a half#i truly don’t think i would’ve connected very well with people at any other college than i have this one#like obviously i would’ve adjusted and odds are i would have been fine but i really do just love it here#the people and thr atmosphere and the campus and everything makes it so worth it#post about loving my friends turn post about loving my college#brought to you by a BeReal one of my bestest besties posted with the caption#‘missing our fourth piece’ aka me because i am currently not back at my college yet and thus am not with them#when i tell y’all i started sobbing my eyes out upon reading that#anyway. i am getting too emotional for 3am and i think this is just a jumble of thoughts and words#so i am going to bed (hopefully)#lacey talks
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tonycries · 9 months ago
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Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? - G.S.
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Synopsis. There were two things missing in the scene in front of you: 1. The aphrodisiac chocolate your friends had given as a gag gift last Christmas that had been hidden away in the back of your refrigerator. 2. Your dear fiancé.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected sex, Satoru’s blindfold gets used, overstimulation (male + female), lots of cum, aphrodisiac sex, multiple rounds, making Gojo Satoru cum in his pants, breaking the bed, mating press, pet names (my girl), swearing.
Word count. 3.0k
A/N. Can you tell it’s ovulation week. PART 2 HERE. Art by @_3aem on x.
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Ah~ It’s the 21st century, they should really make these curses self-exorcizing. 
It’s been a long day of dealing with countless curses and five droning clan meetings (all of which he missed, oops). Now, Satoru loiters around your shared penthouse apartment - waiting for you to come back home from work.
Hmm, maybe he’ll quickly drop by and see what the first years are up to? He probably didn’t have a class right now. 
But first, Satoru grins, opening the refrigerator to grab at the secret stash of sweets all the way in the back - something sweet.
---
It was odd to step into a tense silence suffocating your home - usually used to being met with whines of “how dare you take so long!” and “you won’t believe what that emo kid did today.” as soon as you walked in through the door.
Was Satoru running late on a mission today?  
It wasn’t surprising, the man had to be everywhere - it’s not like he always has the time to teleport and welcome you home. Yet, you still couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was off as you made your way into the kitchen.
Cursing whoever invented the work week, the cold air of the refrigerator hits you as you open it to grab a drink, wondering when your fiancé will be home.
Wait.
Tired brain distinctly noting the lack of that familiar flash of hot pink, you double-take as you glare at the back of the refrigerator - as if willing it to materialize in front of you. Where was that?
“That” being the gag gift your friends had given you last Christmas to playful wolf whistles. Some large slab of “aphrodisiac chocolate” - probably normal chocolate - that you’d skeptically thrown in with your secret candy stash for a rainy day. 
Satoru had ransacked your goods again, you sigh. But if he was home…then where was he?
“Toru? Are you home?” you call out in confusion, only to be met with a deafening silence. 
Concern etched on your face, you set the drink down to look for Satoru, footsteps thumping against the hardwood floors at each tense step. 
Approaching the bedroom, a low, unmistakable moan filters through the heavy door. Satoru.
Heartbeat racing and worry coursing through you, you cautiously push the door open - only to be met with a sight that makes your heart stop.
There, sprawled across your bed in just his boxers, a delicate flush spread enticingly along his sculpted body, was your Satoru. 
Something about this scene felt more than a simple evening nap. The air was heady and thick with something. Maybe it was that familiar hot pink wrapper lying empty at the foot of the bed. Maybe it was the way Satoru’s usually vibrant eyes were half-lidded, curtained by his tousled hair. 
Or maybe it was his hand squeezing the large outline of his achingly hard cock through his boxers. Circling the dark spot around his leaking tip. Massaging his heavy balls. Teasing. 
“You’re home‘ he rasps out, voice strangled and snapping you out of your trance. 
“Wha- yes. Toru, what happened?” you sputter out, eyes locked on the way his cock twitched animalistically at the sound of your voice.
In the blink of an eye, Satoru’s gotten up from the bed, muscled arms caging you against the wall. His rock-hard erection presses into your front, precum smearing through his boxers against your work clothes.
“You’re home.” he repeats, sounding as strained as if he were about to snap any second. Losing his sanity with each breath that fans your hair.
You could feel the pulsing of your cunt as your eyes flit from the sheen of sweat decorating his body to the blindfold haphazardly hanging off his neck. Satoru finally raises his eyes to look at you.
Oh, he’s already lost his sanity.
Pupils blown, those blue eyes you love now a lustful black - a predatory glint in them that made a carnal part of your cunt twitch. His mouth spreads into a wolfish grin, teeth bared as if ready to eat you up. 
A shiver runs down your spine.
“Toru…you okay?”
“You’re home.” he breathes out, as if a prayer. 
“Satoru.”
The simple call of his name sealed your fate.
The buttons hit the ground before you realize what he’s doing. Ripping your shirt off, pulling off your bra, fisting your clothes in his hands as if it killed him to see you clothed. 
Too impatient - too starved - to remove your skirt, he pulls it to shreds off your hips.
“Woah- slow down there.” you squeal as he drops to Satoru knees, biting down on the thin fabric of your soaked panties, tugging with his teeth. You know he’ll buy you ten more to replace what he’s torn, but jeez where was the decorum?
“Can’t” he slurs, peeking up at you with dazed eyes. Was your Satoru even here with you?
“What?” 
“Can’t stop.” he murmurs lowly, voice sending vibrations to your twitching cunt. 
And before you know it, sharp teeth bite around your panties, ripping them to shreds. Looking up at you with hooded eyes, miles away, grinning devilishly around the soaked fabric in his mouth. 
Shit, what have you gotten yourself into.
Despite your thobbing pussy, you soothe “Now, Toru. Why don’t we just-”
“Shut up.” he mutters. And he does - words catching in your throat as Satoru dives nose-deep into your dripping cunt. Hot tongue urgently lapping at your juices, as if a man dying of thirst..
Nose rubbing your pulsing clit in rough circles, he breathes you in so sinfully, letting out a throaty groan as he does. He bullies his tongue past your dripping folds, stretching you, dipping in and out of your quivering entrance. Over and over. In and out.
You were losing your mind with each rough push of Satoru’s warm tongue. Dizzying pace forcing lewd whimpers out of your mouth that mix with the squelches of his mouth on your pussy. 
You buck your hips desperately into his face, and amidst his merciless abuse on your cunt, you barely notice the way he presses his body against yours. 
Shit, so this is why he’s so fucking feral - Satoru’s cock was painfully hard, swollen and throbbing against your leg. Fuck- you weren’t gonna be able to walk for a while.
He grind his hips into you, precum soaking your bare legs. With a low whimper at the back of his throat, Satoru’s tongue fucks you in a way you knew he wanted to with his cock right now. Rough and unrelenting.
Maybe it’s the harsh abuse of his mouth on your swollen lips, nose catching on your clit just right. Or maybe it’s the feeling of your slick dripping down the corners of his mouth, onto your thighs and mixing with the precum of his aching erection. 
Before you can even register it, you’re cumming all over Satoru’s mouth, grip tight on his white locks and hips riding his pretty face.
Greedily lapping at your quivering cunt, he moans as his eyes roll to the back of his head at the sweet juices pooling around his tongue. 
In the back of your mind, you recognize the feeling of Satoru’s warm cum smearing against your leg. Did- Did Gojo Satoru just come in his underwear while eating you out?
Sinfully, he licks at the mixture of your juices dripping down your legs, eyes closed as if tasting a delicacy. He was going to be the death of you.
As soon as your high bates, Satoru stands to his full height. Towering above you with eyes that looked like he wanted to positively eat you alive.
“T-Toru…are you okay?” 
But your fiancé stays silent, throbbing erection still straining painfully against his wet boxers as he shoves you against the cold wall. Rough hands on your hips, presenting your dripping cunt to him and arching you to his will.
A large hand smacks the wall beside your head, plaster crumbling under his strength. Shit, if he keeps going at this pace then nothing in the house will survive Satoru - including you. 
You feel the cum-soaked fabric of his boxers grinding against your ass, his hands pulling and groping every bit of skin he can reach.
“Toru, take it off.” you whine out, words dripping in lust.
You don’t need to tell Satoru twice. With grace that he wouldn’t give your clothes, his boxers are on the ground, painfully hard cock hitting his abs. 
You can feel the slick dripping down your legs as you look behind your shoulder to see one hand wrapped tightly around his large cock. Pulling in slow, languid motions up to the furiously flushed tip. His heavy balls twitch as he thumbs the prominent vein along the side.
“I want-”
You can’t even finish your sentence before Satoru’s bullying his massive cock into your snug cunt. Plush walls desperately trying to adjust to his size as he sheaths himself in your hot core. 
You moan at the delicious stretch of your pussy. It’s not like you haven’t done this before - yet, where Satoru was usually suave in sex, right now it was replaced by pure, feral need. With his tip kissing your cervix as he pushed animalistically into your cunt - you didn’t know if you’d make it out alive. 
“Hah- Toru it’s too big. Ah! I can’t-.”
“You will.” he grits out, teeth clenched and brows furrowed. 
Satoru presses into you inch by fucking inch, groaning at the tight ring of muscles trying to both push him out and suck him in desperately. It was so animalistic.
It seems Satoru’s body moves before his mind, hips fucking into your dripping pussy recklessly. Harsh thrusts, not even pulling all the way out to ram into you as he usually does - as if he can’t bear to part with your wet core. His balls sting your cunt as they smack against you at his unforgiving pace, strings of slick and cum connecting him to you.
“Ah- So good f’me, my girl. Always- so good.” he gasps out at the heavenly feeling of your dripping cunt sucking him back in at each thrust. “Hngh! Mmm more. I need more. Need it so bad.”
Hands arching your back into him now grope the expanse of your skin, before wrapping around your body to lift you off the floor. 
“Ah! Toru, what- hngh-” you choke on your words at the new angle. 
Satoru’s body bows into you, cock still slamming inside you at a feral pace midair. Not even a hair’s breadth between your bodies. 
With one hand he forces you to look up at him, capturing your lips with his in a searing kiss. Pretty mouth sucking your tongue as he did with your cunt.
If you were in a better state of mind, you’d notice the slight glow tinging his lustful eyes. The electricity thrumming through his fingers. Yet you already knew - Satoru was absolutely losing it.
Your feet dangle off the ground as he holds you securely, length reaching impossibly deeper inside you. Prominent vein grazing that one spot over and over.
“Hngh- Oh my god, Toru. S’too much!” you pull away to whine. 
“Open your mouth.” he murmurs raspily. As if body on auto-pilot, your mouth opens, tongue lolling out for what he was about to give.
Satoru’s stream of spit is warm on your tongue, making you clench around his merciless cock. He lets out a drawn-out groan, eyes boring down at you, holding a glint of the same insanity he has when he exorcizes curses, “My nasty girl. Can’t get enough of you.”
You moan at his words, hands reaching behind you to grab on the blindfold dangling on his neck. “Toru more-” you gasp out, your tight grip causing him to bow his head with a groan, cock twitching ferally. 
“Fuck! More? You fucking want more?” he groans out, voice wrecked with pleasure. 
You let out a yelp as his teeth dig into your neck - hard enough that you were sure you’d have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow. Like a lamb to slaughter, he was going to eat you up. Yet, your grip on his blindfold never waves, pulling him closer as he fucks roughly into your snug cunt. 
Ass burning at the friction of his pelvis. Pussy dripping onto your bedroom floor. Unforgiving. Gojo Satoru was unforgiving. “Ah! Toru s’good.” 
You both cum with strangled gasps. A low keen at the back of Satoru’s throat, and he’s pumping hot ropes of cum into your awaiting pussy. Tears stinging your eyes at your sensitivity, all you know is a wave of pleasure as you ride out your climax on the ramming of his hips and the how full you are of his seed.
His hand still draws hurried, desperate circles on your clit. You squeal at the overstimulation, tears clinging to yours lashes. “Toru- hngh!” you can barely get out the words, his hips slamming into yours mercilessly as Satoru milks his cock desperately on your quivering pussy. 
“Shut up. You said you wanted more. You’re gonna get more, my little slut.” he mutters carnally.
Ah, you can’t do this. You were going to fucking pass out.
“One- more.” he moans.
Your thighs clench around him, pushing your plush walls deeper as he lets out raspy whimpers with each thrust. “Hah- hngh.” 
“Shit- Toru I’m-” Your climax hits you with a jolt, body twitching in pain and pleasure from the oversensitivity as your cunt flutters around his cock - not even being able to tell when Satoru’s orgasm ends and when yours starts. 
You feel a tear hit your shoulder, overstimulation too much for his poor cock as his seed coats your walls once more. It drips out of you, forming a pool on the floor as he pulls out - for only a second before you’re thrown on the bed. 
Orgasm-hazed brain barely having time to register what is happening before Satoru stalks towards you from the foot of the bed. Unhurriedly approaching you as you scoot towards the headboard.
Your pussy jumps exhaustedly at the sight of him - eyes darkened and narrowed at you like a predator that has spotted his prey. A devilish smirk stretches across his swollen lips, glossed prettily with spit and slick. 
Toru, I-I don’-” you words slur out. 
“One- one more, my girl. Please.” Satoru whimpers, throat shot from what transpired just before. His cock twitches, glistening with cum and slick, dripping onto the fresh bedsheets. 
As he looms closer, you wonder how the fuck Satoru was still holding up - was this all because of the chocolate? You have half the mind to wonder whether he was using reversed cursed technique to keep you both alive.
You mewl deliriously at the feeling of your legs being thrown on his shoulders. Eyes blown and face flushed your favorite shade of pink, he licks a long stripe up your ankles, voice cracking as he moans sinfully. 
Satoru’s flushed tip teases your entrance, dragging along your swollen folds. Fuck. Shit. Maybe you wouldn’t even mind dying if it was with his cock rammed in your snug cunt.
Barely even lucid, he thrusts harshly into you - your tight entrance readily sucking up his flushed tip. You both hiss at the sensitivity. Surely, one of you was going to pass out. 
Hand moving to grasp the blindfold around his neck, you pull him to you. Your hamstrings burn in protest as Satoru bends down to attach his lips with yours, moving down until you were folded in half. 
Tongue tangling with yours, half-lidded eyes bore into yours, fiery with an intensity that made you unsure if either of you would make it out of this alive. 
Heartbeat roaring in your ears, you don’t notice the crack! of the bed and neither does Satoru. Too caught up in desperately reaching whatever number orgasm it was this night. 
Moans incoherent, your body convulses, nails dragging down the expanse of his sculpted back as the bed creaks in protest. A strangled groan leaves his mouth, cock throbbing inside you - or maybe that was your quivering cunt. At this point you really didn’t know anymore. 
“Shit- ah! Fuck. I’m- M’cumming. M’cumming. Hngh- cumming!” he whines out, voice ragged and breathing unstable. Delicate tears streak down his face, dripping onto your quivering body below him. Salty.
You can only let out exhausted whines, too fucked out to form any proper sentences.
Hot seed gushing inside you again, it overflows out of you, cunt dripping and too full to take anymore. Yet, Satoru still fucks into you until he sees stars and his poor cock is cumming dry. You can barely even feel your climax, distant tingles and the only thing on your mind being Satoru Satoru Satoru. 
The air leaves your lungs as he collapses on top of you. Skin flushed and sticking to yours. Body twitching as his poor cock neverendingly shoots blanks inside of you. Which number was this even?
That’s when you black out.
Floating in and out of dreams of blue, blue skies and mini Satorus running around, you wake up with a start. Well, as much of a start as you could with your entire body aching as if you got run over by a truck - and then an entire zoo after.
Bleary eyes taking in your surroundings, you distinctly realize that you’re spread out on the living room couch. 
What happened.
“Hey, you okay?” a hoarse voice sounds from beside you. You could barely recognize it as your fiancé’s, words jagged from…whatever it was before.
“You…are you okay?” you rasp out, raising a brow exhaustedly. Satoru chuckles sheepishly, tenderly smoothing over the blanket placed on top of you. What a change from before - are you sure this is the same guy?
“Well…the wall is crumbling, we broke the bed, and I’m pretty sure my dick won’t work again for the next couple years.” he gets out in one breath. At your silence, he continues “And I think my favorite blindfold is out of commission.”
“...wow.”
“Wow.” 
“You lecher, you ate from my secret stash, didn’t you?”
“...”
A few days later, opening the refrigerator, you’re met with a wall of hot pink. A sticky note on top reading in Satoru’s hasty scrawl, “This time you take one too :D”
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A/N. Wrote this while watching The Garfield Show.
Plagiarism not authorized.
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inmaki · 10 months ago
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gojo showing off your back scratches to geto
( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .
contains: sex talk, desc of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)
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everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.
a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.
there was only one thing ruining his peace.
all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.
despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.
"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.
right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.
great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—
"i fucked her!"
suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.
big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.
"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.
"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"
geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"
unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"
"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"
at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.
"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.
"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.
it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."
suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.
a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.
"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.
turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."
it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.
not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.
and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.
"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"
an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."
"huh. surprised you could last."
as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."
geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.
even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—
satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"
he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."
over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.
maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.
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mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)
© inmaki on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
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synqiri · 5 months ago
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YOU HAVE A LOVER?!
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or, how the traveller and paimon find out about his relationship with you.
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PAIRING: wanderer x gn!reader
WARNINGS: chocolate
WORDCOUNT: 1.1K || CONTENT: you're kinda a menace, slight crack, fluff, relationship reveal
NOTES: tell me why he's so fun to tease pls
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“hey, isn’t that hat guy?” paimon says, pointing further down the street. 
it is indeed. he stands outside lambad’s tavern, near the benches, and with him is a group of akademiya scholars. 
her eyes sparkle with curiosity at the sight. “traveller, let’s go say hi!”
snatches of conversation is all the pair hear at first. 
“just spit it out,” wanderer says, arms crossed, an eyebrow raised. “i haven’t got all day to listen to your babbling.”
the girl right in front of him has a small gift-wrapped box clutched tight in her hands, her three friends behind her all murmuring encouragements. paimon glances at aether, eyes wide. are you seeing what i’m seeing?
the traveller nods. he lingers by the waypoint, motioning for paimon to do the same. they shouldn’t interrupt just yet.
“uhm — i really like you!” the girl rushes out nervously, presenting the gift out to the wanderer hastily. “please accept this!”
aether hears his companion gasp.
wanderer says nothing, picking the little box up for inspection. he gives it a soft shake. “what’s in this?”
“chocolate! i didn’t know which you liked, but — but when we were at the store, someone overheard us talking and recommended a brand… i think their name was [name]...? everyone knows you’re friends, so…”
at that, the wanderer lets out a disbelieving scoff, expression an odd mix of amused and incredulous. aether is curious himself. he wonders what kind of person wanderer would consider a friend.
“not bad,” wanderer tells the girl, pocketing the box as he does, “i guess you have no one but that fool to thank.”
her group of friends cheer, and the girl can’t help but laugh too. with their goal achieved, they scuttle away, chattering. at this, paimon finally rushes up to the guy, aether following suit. she’s stumbling over all her words, completely and utterly flabbergasted. 
“you — i — what was that?!” she exclaims. “since when do you get love confessions?”
aether can’t tell if that was the right or wrong thing to say. wanderer smirks, almost puffing up with pride. “what, like it’s hard?”
paimon stomps her feet. “but you’re —! ugh, whatever. paimon feels bad for all the hearts you break.”
“why should i have to care about that? they should be prepared to face rejection if they are prepared to bare their heart out for all to see.” wanderer shrugs, tone lofty. 
“it’s not as if you can relate,” she quips. “what are you doing here, anyway?”
at this, he huffs, rolling his eyes. “do you think i want to be here, standing around like a buffoon? and yet here i am, waiting for someone with zero respect for my time.” 
aether doesn’t point out the fact that if wanderer really hadn’t wanted to wait, he would have left ages ago. paimon tilts her head curiously. “who are you waiting for? is it that [name] person?”
wanderer stiffens at that. his eyes narrow. “where did you learn that name?”
“we overheard that girl say it just now. why? Is it someone important?”
“of course i’m important!” 
paimon screams. wanderer sighs. aether turns behind to look at the source of the voice.
the traveller assumes you’re [name], and is proven right when you introduce yourself cheerily. shaking both his and paimon’s hands, you say, “it’s so nice to meet the people who knocked sense into this guy over here.”
glaring, wanderer grumbles, almost petulantly. he threatens, “keep up with that and i won’t give you your chocolate.”
“nononono, i was only joking, darling, forgive me?” 
your demeanour flips in an instant, and you whirl around to face him with a puppy-eyed pout. faintly, a baffled paimon echoes a soft, darling? 
wanderer sighs, producing the gift out for you, and you accept it eagerly. 
“you got chocolates for me?” you say, playfully swooning. unwrapping the box, you pop a piece into your mouth. “my favourite kind too! you're the best.”
the irony is neither lost on aether. paimon gleefully accepts a piece from you when you offer. 
“you should have one too,” you tell wanderer, who has been looking at you with an odd look aether has yet to decipher. holding out a chocolate in your fingers, you prompt, “say ‘ah’.”
begrudgingly, he opens up. still, he doesn't fail to make a fuss off it, proclaiming about how sweets were beneath him, and how he preferred the bitterness of coffee. you wave it all off with an eyeroll, and aether is struck with the similarity it had to wanderer's own.
“how long have you been friends?” paimon asks for him. “you two seem really close.”
you burst into laughter, and wanderer glances away. your eyes glitter with amusement. “friends? did he tell you that? ‘cuz personally, i don't know any friends who go on dates —”
“a ‘date’ that you are late to,” wanderer cuts in.
you erupt into another fit of giggles at that. “sorry, sorry. i've been here the whole time, actually — but i was hiding over there when that group of girls approached you.”
wanderer could not look any more unimpressed. though just as he's about to retort, paimon finally stops short-circuiting. 
“YOU'RE DATING?!”
“announce it to the entire world, why don't you?” wanderer snarks, though there is a noticeable flush on the tips of his ears, creeping onto his cheeks. it is then aether realises the expression he hadn't deciphered had been fondness.
you only grin, looping an arm around his. then, before anyone can react, you smack the fattest kiss on his cheek. “that's right! you don't know just how much effort it took wooing this guy.”
“i can imagine…” paimon says, dumbstruck.
wanderer shoots them the most murderous of glares, hissing, “tell a soul about this, and i swear neither of you will live to see the new dawn.”
“he's shy,” you add with a conspiratorial whisper. “but really, we'd prefer if word doesn't get out.”
“our lips are sealed,” paimon vows solemnly.
then, aether taps her on the shoulder, jerking his head in the direction of the adventurer's guild post. thankfully, she takes the hint.
“actually we're really really busy so we'll leave the two of you to it now,” paimon says quickly. “enjoy your date!”
at that, you bid the both of them farewell happily after telling them to visit sometime, and aether leaves with a much different impression he had of wanderer.
though, when he steals a glance back, he sees the both of you entering the tavern, wanderer's grip on your hand tight. and while he cannot see the look on your faces, he can make out the softness in his stance, and the joy in yours.
aether can't help but feel happy for him. it seems that the ‘wanderer’ had finally found a ‘home’.
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celestiamour · 3 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ it's a gift (you keep those) ]❜
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ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ giving him a plushie that reminded you of him┊1k words
setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: fluff, crushes, probably ooc but he’s so cute & wade is hard to write for, written for dp&w logan so idk if he got gifts in xmen, i forgot about laura, they are in touch and have a wonderful father-daughter relationship, i’m so sorry, edited
➤ author's note: i have so many thoughts but too incompetent to write
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logan’s never sure who will appear when he opens the door as wade’s quite the extrovert, either vanessa or one of his many other friends whom he’s now become somewhat acquainted with, but he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet the familiar eyes of the cute neighbor who lived a few doors down. he nervously scratched the back of his head, suddenly becoming aware of his shabby appearance, “uh, are you looking for wade?”
“no, i was actually looking for you!” god, your smile is so bright, it’s blinding. he normally hates perfume of any sort as it’s so overpowering to his heightened senses, but the one that you wore smelled so lovely like always. is that a new shade of lip gloss you’re wearing? it really suits you. (why on earth is he noticing all of these details out of the blue? he needs to snap out of whatever spell you put on him after being introduced when he first showed up and only interacting in passing since then).
“looking for me?” he repeated, in disbelief, trying his best not to allow his surprise to slip into his voice. considering he isn’t from this dimension and not the most agreeable person to be around, he had no friends of his own yet and hasn’t been visited by anyone since he got here. a beat of panic struck him, thinking that he was in trouble for something and you came to complain. he really couldn’t think of any other reason you were here for him even though you were so cheerful.
you were carrying some shopping bags with you, dropping them on the ground before reaching into one and pulling out a large fuzzy plushie of a gray cat hidden under layers of glittery tissue paper, “i saw this cutie when i went shopping with my friends and thought it looked like you!” you held it out for him to take, looking so proud of the stuffed animal.
he hesitated for a second before accepting it, trying to take in the fact that you were reminded of him in your day-to-day life. it made his heart flutter, and he found himself dumbfounded by the feeling. he was frequently teased by his roomate about his little “crush” on you, claiming that it was oh so obvious and that the sooner he accepted it, the better, but he never realized until now how pathetic he was when it came to you. was the wolverine really getting butterflies like a fucking schoolgirl in his old-ass age? thank god no one was home right now to bully him about it, he would never hear the end of it.
“it does not look like me,” he scoffed playfully after a quick examination.
“no, it definitely does! it’s a big, grumpy kitty—” you took a step closer to hold it with him, pointing at all the similarities you observed, although it was clear you were exaggerating for laughs. “see the little frowny face and ears? it could be your identical twin separated from birth! willy mentioned that you act like a cat most of the time, and i think it fits perfectly!”
the smile he didn’t realize was plastered on his face faltered at the last piece of information, grateful that you didn’t notice. that idiot has been talking about him to you? he might as well forget about any chance of getting with you, because knowing how he yaps without a filter and loves to play matchmaker, you probably think he’s a freak of some sort. “only good things, i hope…”
you giggled, the sweetest sound he ever heard. “of course, he’s really fond of you… well, maybe a bit too fond, but you already know about that!” you opened your mouth to continue the conversation or say something else, but your phone started ringing and you excused yourself, looking a little shy as you grabbed up your bags. “i’ll talk to you later!” you sounded so excited about the prospect of it before leaving, your voice and footsteps becoming fainter as you walked back to your place.
“wait, you didn’t take back the cat—”
“it’s a gift! you keep those!”
“oh… right…”
he lingered for a moment, unable to say much in response since you left in such a rush. when was the last time someone gave him a present? staring at this brand new item, he still couldn’t see the resemblance in any way, but knowing that it was a gift from you gave him a rare feeling of happiness which returned every time he looked at it from then on among his few possessions. 
“oh my goodness, what is this adorable thing?!” wade exclaimed when he saw it sitting on the couch where logan slept, picking it up to gawk at before tossing it up in the air and catching it before it hit the floor. “ooh, let me guess, it’s a gift from her, isn’t it?” 
the mutant groaned at his mocking tone. “put it down before you ruin it with your grubby hands,” he commanded, snatching it from his grasp (rough enough to make his point clear, but carefully enough not to tear it apart). his roommate didn’t even bother pretending to be offended like he usually would as he was simply overjoyed that his “ship” was coming true. “it doesn’t mean anything, don’t make it weird.”
“it doesn’t mean anything?! how can you say that when it’s going to be the first gift you give to your first child together—”
“first what??”
“nevermind, what are you gonna name it?”
“i have to name it?”
“have you never owned a stuffed animal before? you have to name it! how heartbroken is she going to be when she asks what you named it and you say that you haven’t done that?! she’s gonna think that you don’t value her gifts!” you would think the world was going to end if he didn’t do so if you heard the way he was speaking.
“fine, i’ll name it…” he looked deeply into the toy’s soulless eyes, noting how soft the outer material was against his calloused hand, “... fluffy…”
“that’s such a shitty name—”
“shut the fuck up, it’s been decided.”
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sweetmodel · 26 days ago
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If you feel like giving up on shifting, here's a list of the highs and the lows I've experienced only thanks to shifting:
-Being with someone I liked in my original reality but couldn't have;
-Having fairy wings and flying, feeling the air flow between your hair, body and the rush of adreline the higher you go up;
-Using my magic for the first time, connecting with all sort of living beings (plants, animals) and being able to communicate with them and feel things in a deeper way;
-Having a group of friends in my dorm and becoming united and tight;
-Using futuristic technology;
-Reading really ancient magical books;
-Seeing our solar system in space;
-Actually, being inside a spaceship and seeing space FROM space itself! You think everything is huge and distant? You won't realize how true it is until you're there;
-Connecting to different types of elemental magic all around you, from fire, to water, to more complex things like light and space itself;
-Using magic to make your life easier. Bed? Just use your magic to make it. Clothes? Just spin around and you're ready to go. Bad hair? What's that? I know too many beauty spells to have bad hair;
-Using both dark and light powers, truly understanding the meaning of emotions, even the ones considered ""negative";
-Having an actual arch-nemesis, somehow and someway being so different yet so similar;
-Meeting all sorts of humanoids, from demons, angels, dryads, androids, fairies... and the list goes on;
-Actually belonging to those groups!
-Buying all sort of clothes and accessories, imagine something that doesn't exist here, you can actually wear it now;
-Being sent on mission on another planet;
-Studying on another planet! Waking up and seeing the rings of Saturn, while the sun is just a little tiny dot far away in the sky;
-Being away from Earth and knowing magic is real while the entirety of humanity doesn't;
-Being cast for the first time in your first role!
-Opening a bank account and seeing the cash flow;
-Being loved and appreciated for your talent and the things you do;
-Barely staying on social media to avoid all sort of hate that might get to you;
-Travelling around the world to sing on stage;
-Being able to basically buy anything, without any limits whatsover;
-Big numbers everywhere, from views, to followers, to money;
-Meeting celebrities whom you once liked and being like... "Hey, this person is just like me";
-Celebrities being starstruck for you instead of the other way around;
-a majority of your roles being your main realities;
-Buying your first house! Despite actually living there only for two months max since you're always around the globe;
-Falling in love with people you shouldn't;
-Your ex in your fame reality playing the role of your actual ex of another reality (this one took me out you guys I didn't even do it on purpose)
-Having professors that aren't humans. One of my professor is a victorian frog (If you know you know);
-Being sent all over the cosmo to stop the big bads from taking over;
-While also having to return to class like everything is fine!
-But it totally is... I guess this is the new normal now?;
-Finding out the big villain who's been terrorizing the whole town is your boyfriend's dad and breaking up cause it was too much for you (If you know you know part 2);
-The responsability of the town's safety weighting on you, wondering if you are fit for the role despite winning so many times;
-Starting an investigation on campus because some shady stuff is happening;
-Becoming popular, actually being sucked into popularity and the superficial part of you coming out;
-Your friends being mad at you for it and then remembering what's truly important, them;
-Fighting in battle. You get hurt A LOT if you aren't careful;
-Your arch-nemesis confessing their ACTUAL crimes to you and keeping it a secret because you don't want to get caught by the law;
-Meeting the same people in different realities and realizing how deep people (and also you) are, and how complex life truly is;
I'm sure there's waaaay more since I spent so much time in my realities, but oh there are the ones that came up right now. Hope you guys like the list!
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luveline · 9 days ago
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𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧
Things between you and Peter change with the seasons. [17k] 
c: friends-to-lovers, hurt/comfort, loneliness, peter parker isn’t good at hiding his alter ego, fluff, first kisses, mutual pining, loved-up epilogue, mention of self-harm with no graphic imagery
。𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ
Fall 
Peter Parker is a resting place for overworked eyes, like warm topaz nestled against a blue-cold city. He waits on you with his eyes to the screen of his phone, clicking the power button repetitively. A nervous tic. 
You close the heavy door of your apartment building. His head stays still, yet he’s heard the sound of it settling, evidence in his calmed hand. 
“Good morning!” You pull your coat on quickly. “Sorry.” 
“Good morning,” he says, offering a sleep-logged smile. “Should we go?” 
You follow Peter out of the cul-de-sac and into the street as he drops his phone into a deep pocket. To his credit, he doesn’t check it while you walk, and only glances at it when you’re taking your coat off in the heat of your favourite cafe: The Moroccan Mode glows around you, fog kissing the windows, condensation running down the inner lengths of it in beads. You murmur something to do with the odd fog and Peter tells you about water vapour. When it rains tonight, he says it’ll be warm water that falls. 
He spreads his textbook, notebook, and rinky-dink laptop out across the table while you order drinks. Peter has the same thing every visit, a decaf americano, in a wide brim mug with the pink-petal saucer. You put it down on his textbook only because that’s where he would put it himself, and you both get to work. 
As Peter helps you study, you note the simplicity of another normal day, and can’t help wondering what it is that’s missing. Something is, something Peter won’t tell you, the absence of a truth hanging over your heads. You ask him if he wants to get dinner and he says no, he’s busy. You ask him to see a movie on Friday night and he wishes he could. 
Peter misses you. When he tells you, you believe him. “I wish I had more time,” he says. 
“It’s fine,” you say, “you can’t help it.”
“We’ll do something next weekend,” he says. The lie slips out easily. 
To Peter it isn’t a lie. In his head, he’ll find the time for you again, and you’ll be friends like you used to be. 
You press the end of your pencil into your cheek, the dark roast, white paper and condensation like grey noise. This time last year, the air had been thick for days with fog you could cut. He took you on a trip to Manhattan, less than an hour from your red-brick neighbourhood, and you spent the day in a hotel pool throwing great cupfuls of water at each other. The fog was gone just fifteen miles away from home but the warm air stayed. When it rained it was sudden, strange, spit-warm splashes of it hammering the tops of your heads, your cheeks as you tipped your faces back to spy the dark clouds. 
Peter had swam the short distance to you and held your shoulders. You remember feeling like your whole life was there, somewhere you’d never been before, the sharp edges of cracked pool tile just under your feet. 
You peek over the top of your laptop screen and wonder if Peter ever thinks of that trip. 
He feels you watching and meets your eyes. “I have to tell you something,” he says, smiling shyly. 
“Sure.” 
“I signed us up for that club.” 
“Epigenetics?” 
“Molecular medicine,” he says. 
The nice thing about fog is that it gives a feeling of lateness. It’s still morning, barely ten, but it feels like the early evening. It’s gentle on the eyes, colouring the whole room with a sconced shine. You reach for Peter’s bag and sort through his jumble of possessions —stick deodorant, loose-leaf paper, a bodega’s worth of protein bars— and grab his camera. 
“What are you doing?” 
“I’m cataloguing the moment you ruined our lives,” you say, aiming the camera at his chin, squinting through the viewfinder. 
“Technically, I signed us up a few days ago,” he says. 
You snap his photo as his mouth closes around ‘ago’, keeping his half-laugh stuck on his lips. “Semantics,” you murmur. “And molecular medicine club, this has nothing to do with the estranged Gwen Stacy?”
“It has nothing to do with her. And you like molecular medicine.”
“I like oncology,” you correct, which is a sub-genre at best, “and I have enough work without joining another club. Go by yourself.” 
“I can’t go without you,” he says. Simple as that. 
He knew you’d say yes when he signed you up. It’s why he didn’t ask. You’re already forgiven him for the slight of assumption. 
“When is it?” you ask, smiling. 
Molecular medicine club is fun. You and a handful of ESU nerds gather around a big table in a private study room for a few hours and read about the newer discoveries and top research, like regenerative science and now taboo Oscorp research. It’s boring, sometimes, but then Peter will lean into your side and make a joke to keep you going. 
He looks at Gwen Stacy a lot. Slender, pale and freckled, with blonde hair framing a sweet face. Only when he thinks you’re not looking. Only when she isn’t either. 
“Good morning,” you say. 
Peter holds an umbrella over his head that he’s quick to share with you, and together you walk with heads craned down, the umbrella angled forward to fight the wind. Your outermost shoulder is wet when you reach the café, your other warm from being pressed against him. You shake the umbrella off outside the door and step onto a cushy, amber doormat to dry your sneakers. Peter stalks ahead and order the drinks, eager to get warm, so you look for a table. Your usual is full of businessmen drinking flat whites with briefcases at their legs. They laugh. You try to picture Peter in a suit: you’re still laughing when he finds you in the booth at the back. 
“Tell the joke,” he says, slamming his coffee down. He’s careful with yours. He’s given you the pink petal saucer from the side next to the straws and wooden stirrers. 
“I was thinking about you as a businessman.” 
“And that’s funny?” 
“When was the last time you wore a suit?” 
Peter shakes his head. Claims he doesn’t know. Later, you’ll remember his Uncle Ben’s funeral and feel queasy with guilt, but you don’t remember yet. “When was the last time you wore one?” he asks. “I don’t laugh at you.” 
“You’re always laughing at me, Parker.” 
The cafe isn’t as warm today. It’s wet, grimy water footsteps tracking across the terracotta tile, streaks of grey water especially heavy near the counter, around it to the bathroom. There’s no fog but a sad rattle of rain, not enough to make noise against the windows, but enough to watch as it falls in lazy rivulets down the lengths of them.
Your face is chapped with the cold, cheeks quickly come to heat as your fingers curl around your mug. They tingle with newfound warmth. When you raise your mug to your lips, your hand hardly shakes.
“You okay?” Peter asks. 
“Fine. Are you gonna help me with the math today?” 
“Don’t think so. Did you ask nicely?” 
“I did.” You’d called him last night. You would’ve just as happily submitted your homework poorly solved with the grade to prove it —you don’t want Peter’s help, you just wanted to see him. 
Looking at him now, you remember why his distance had felt a little easier. The rain tangles in his hair, damp strands curling across his forehead, his eyes dark and outfitted by darker eyelashes. Peter has the looks of someone you’ve seen before, a classical set to his nose and eyes reminiscent of that fallen angel weeping behind his arm, his russet hair in fiery disarray. There was an anger to Peter after Ben died that you didn’t recognise, until it was Peter, changed forever and for the worse and it didn’t matter —he was grieving, he was terrified, who were you to tell him to be nice again— until it started to get better. You see less of your fallen, angry angel, no harsh brush strokes, no tears. 
His eyes are still dark. Bruised often underneath, like he’s up late. If he is, it isn’t to talk to you. 
You spend an afternoon working through your equations, pretending to understand until Peter explains them to death. His earphones fall out of his pocket and he says, “Here, I’ll show you a song.” 
He walks you home. The song is dreary and sad. The man who sings is good. Lover, You Should’ve Come Over. It feels like Peter’s trying to tell you something —he isn’t, but it feels like wishing he would. 
“You okay?” you ask before you can get to your street. A minute away, less. 
“I’m fine, why?” 
You let the uncomfortable shape of his earbud fall out of your ear, the climax of the song a rattle on his chest. “You look tired, that’s all. Are you sleeping?” 
“I have too much to do.” 
You just don’t get it. “Make sure you’re eating properly. Okay?” 
His smile squeezes your heart. Soft, the closest you’ll ever get. “You know May,” he says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to give you a short hug, “she wouldn’t let me go hungry. Don’t worry about me.” 
The dip into depression you take is predictable. You can’t help it. Peter being gone makes it worse. 
You listen to love songs and take long walks through the city, even when it’s dark and you know it’s a bad idea. If anything bad happens Spider-Man could probably save me, you think. New York’s not-so-new vigilante keeps a close eye on things, especially the women. You can’t count how many times you’ve heard the same story. A man followed me home, saw me across the street, tried to get into my apartment, but Spider-Man saved me. 
You’re not naive, you realise the danger of walking around without protection assuming some stranger in a mask will save you, but you need to get out of the house. It goes on for weeks. 
You walk under streetlights and past stores with CCTV, but honestly you don’t really care. You’re not thinking. You feel sick and heavy and it’s fine, really, it’s okay, everything works out eventually. It’s not like it’s all because you miss Peter, it’s just a feeling. It’ll go away. 
“You’re in deep thought,” a voice says, garnering a huge flinch from the depths of your stomach.
You turn around, turn back, and flinch again at the sight of a man a few paces ahead. Red shoulders and legs, black shining in a webbed lattice across his chest. “Oh,” you say, your heartbeat an uncomfortable plodding under your hand, “sorry.” 
“Why are you sorry? I scared you.”
“I didn’t realise you were there.” 
Spider-Man doesn’t come any closer. You take a few steps in his direction. You’ve never met before but you’d like to see him up close, and you aren’t scared. Not beyond the shock of his arrival. 
“Can I walk you to where you’re going?” Spider-Man asks you. He’s humming energy, fidgeting and shifting from foot to foot. 
“How do I know you’re the real Spider-Man?” 
After all, there are high definition videos of his suit on the news sometimes. You wouldn’t want to find out someone was capable of making a replica in the worst way possible. 
You can’t be sure, but you think he might be smiling behind the mask, his arms moving back as though impressed at your questioning. “What do you need me to do to prove it?” he asks. 
He speaks hushed. Rough and deep. “I don’t know. What’s Spider-Man exclusive?” 
“I can show you the webs?” 
You pull your handbag further up your arm. “Okay, sure. Shoot something.” 
Spider-Man aims his hand at the streetlight across the way and shoots it. He makes a severing motion with his wrist to stop from getting pulled along by it, letting the web fall like an alien tendril from the bulb. The light it produces dims slightly. A chill rides your spine. 
“Can I walk you now?” he asks. 
“You don’t have more important things to do?” If the bitterness you’re feeling creeps into your tone unbidden, he doesn’t react. 
“Nothing more important than you.” 
You laugh despite yourself. “I’m going to Trader Joe’s.” 
“Yellowstone Boulevard?” 
“That’s the one…” 
You fall into step beside him, and, awkwardly, begin to walk again. It’s a short walk. Trader Joe’s will still be open for hours despite the dark sky, and you’re in no hurry. “My friend, he likes the rolled tortilla chips they do, the chilli ones.” 
“And you’re going just for him?” Spider-Man asks. 
“Not really. I mean, yeah, but I was already going on a walk.” 
“Do you always walk around by yourself? It’s late. It’s dangerous, you know, a beautiful girl like you,” he says, descending into an odd mixture of seriousness and teasing. His voice jumps and swoons to match. 
“I like walking,” you say. 
Spider-Man walking is a weird thing to see. On the news, he’s running, swinging, or flying through the air untethered. You’re having trouble acquainting the media image of him with the quiet man you’re walking beside now.
”Is everything okay?” he asks. “You seem sad.” 
“Do I?” 
“Yeah, you do.” 
“Maybe I am sad,” you confess, looking forward, the bright sign of Trader Joe’s already in view. It really is a short walk. “Do you ever–” You swallow against a surprising tightness in your throat and try again, “Do you ever feel like you’re alone?” 
“I’m not alone,” he says carefully.
“Me neither, but sometimes I feel like I am.” 
He laughs quietly. You bristle thinking you’re being made fun of, but the laugh tapers into a sad one. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world,” he says. “Even here. I forget that it’s not something I invented.” 
“Well, I guess being a hero would feel really lonely. Who else do we have like you?” You smile sympathetically. “It must be hard.” 
“Yeah.” His head tips to the side, and a crash of glass rings in the distance, crunching, and then there’s a squeal. It sounds like a car accident. Spider-Man goes tense. “I’ll come back,” he says. 
“That’s okay, Spider-Man, I can get home by myself. Thank you for the protection detail.” 
He sprints away. In half a second he’s up onto a short roof, then between buildings. It looks natural. It takes your breath away. 
You buy Peter’s chips at Trader Joe’s and wait for a few minutes at the door, but Spider-Man doesn’t come back. 
I don’t want to study today, Peter’s text says the next day. Come over and watch movies? 
The last handholds of your fugue are washed away in the shower. You dab moisturiser onto your face and neck and stand by the open window to help it dry faster, taking in the light drizzle of rain, the smell of it filling your room and your lungs in cold gales. You dress in sweatpants and a hoodie, throw on your coat, and stuff the rolled tortilla chips into a backpack to ferry across the neighbourhood. 
Peter still lives at home with his Aunt May. You’d been in awe of it when you were younger, Peter and his Aunt and Uncle, their home-cooked family dinners, nights spent on the roof trying to find constellations through light pollution, stretched out together while it was warm enough to soak in your small rebellion. Ben would call you both down eventually. When you’re older! he’d always promise. 
Peter’s waiting in the open door for you. He ushers you inside excitedly, stripping you out of your coat and forgetting your wet shoes as he drags you to the kitchen. “Look what I got,” he says. 
The Parker kitchen is a big, bright space with a chopping block island. The counters are crowded by pots, pans, spices, jams, coffee grounds, the impossible drying rack. There’s a cross-stitch about the home on the microwave Ben did to prove to May he could still see the holes in the aida. 
You follow Peter to the stove where he points at a ceramic Dutch oven you’ve eaten from a hundred times. “There,” he says. 
“Did you cook?” you ask. 
“Of course I didn’t cook, even if the way you said that is offensive. I could cook. I’m an excellent chef.” 
“The only thing May’s ever taught you is spaghetti and meatballs.” 
“Hope you like marinara,” he says, nudging you toward the stove. 
You take the lid off of the Dutch oven to unveil a huge cake. Dripping with frosting, only slightly squashed by the lid, obviously homemade. He’s dotted the top with swirls of frosting and deep red strawberries. 
“It’s for you,” he says casually. 
“It’s not my birthday.” 
“I know. You like cake though, don’t you?” 
You’d tell Peter you liked chunks of glass if that was what he unveiled. “Why’d you make me a cake?” 
“I felt like you deserved a cake. You don’t want it?” 
“No, I want it! I want the cake, let’s have cake, we can go to 91st and get some ice cream, it’ll be amazing.” You don’t bother trying to hide your beaming smile now, twisting on the spot to see him properly, your hands falling behind your back. “Thank you, Peter. It’s awesome. I had no idea you could even– that you’d even–” You press forward, smushing your face against his chest. “Wow.” 
“Wow,” he says, wrapping his arms around you. He angles his head to nose at your temple. “You’re welcome. I would’ve made you a cake years ago if I knew it was gonna make you this happy.” 
“It must’ve taken hours.” 
“May helped.” 
“That makes much more sense.” 
“Don’t be insolent.” Peter squeezes you tightly. He doesn’t let go for a really long time. 
He extracts the cake from the depths of the Dutch oven and cuts you both a slice. He already has ice cream, a Neapolitan box that he cuts into with a serrated knife so you can each have a slice of all three flavours. It’s good ice cream, fresh for what it is and melting in big drops of cream as he gets the couch ready.
“Sit down,” he says, shoving the plates with his strangely great balance onto the coffee table. “Remote’s by you. I’m gonna get drinks.” 
You take your plate, carving into the cake with the end of a warped spoon, its handle stamped PETE and burnished in your grasp. The crumb is soft but dense in the best way. The ganache between layers is loose, cake wet with it, and the frosting is perfect, just messy. You take another satisfied bite. You’re halfway through your slice before Peter makes it back. 
“I brought you something too, but it’s garbage compared to this,” you say through a mouthful, hand barely covering your mouth. 
Peter laughs at you. “Yeah, well, say it, don’t spray it.” 
“I guess I’ll keep it.” 
“Keep it, bub, I don’t need anything from you.” 
He doesn’t say it the way you’re expecting. “No,” you say, pleased when he sits knee to knee, “you can have it. S’just a bag of chips from Trader–”
“The rolled tortilla chips?” he asks. You nod, and his eyes light up. “You really are the best friend ever.” 
“Better than Harry?” 
“Harry’s rich,” Peter says, “so no. I’m kidding! Joking, come here, let me try some of that.” 
“Eat your own.” 
Peter plays a great host, letting you choose the movies, making lunch, ordering takeout in the evening and refusing to let you pay for it. This isn’t that out of character for Peter, but what shocks you is his complete unfiltered attention. He doesn’t check his phone, the tension you couldn’t name from these last few weeks nowhere to be felt. You’re flummoxed by the sudden change, but you missed him. You won’t look a gift horse in the mouth; you won’t question what it is that had Peter keeping you at arm’s length now it’s gone.
To your annoyance, you can’t stop thinking about Spider-Man. You keep opening your mouth to tell Peter you talked to him but biting your tongue. Why am I keeping it a secret? you wonder. 
“Have something to tell you.” 
“You do?” you ask, reluctant to sit properly, your feet tucked under his thigh and your body completely lax with the weight of the Parker throw. 
“Is that surprising?” 
“Is that a trick question?” 
“No. Just. I’ve been not telling you something.” 
“Okay, so tell me.” 
Peter goes pink, and stiff, a fake smile plastered over his lips. “Me and Gwen, we’re really done.” 
“I know, Pete. She broke up with you for reasons nobody felt I should be enlightened right after graduation.” Your stomach pangs painfully. “Unless you…”
“She’s going to England.” 
“She is?” 
“Oxford.” 
You struggle to sit up. “That sucks, Peter. I’m sorry.” 
“But?” 
You find your words carefully. “You and Gwen really liked each other, but I think that–” You grow in confidence, meeting his eyes firmly. “That there’s always been some part of you that couldn’t actually commit to her. So. I don’t know, maybe some distance will give you clarity. And maybe it’ll break your heart, but at least then you’ll know how you really feel, and you can move forward.” You avoid telling him to move on. 
“It wasn’t Gwen,” he says, which has a completely different meaning to the both of you. 
“Obviously, she’s the smartest girl I’ve ever met. She’s beautiful. Of course it’s not her fault,” you say, teasing.
“Really, that you ever met?” Peter asks. 
“She’s the best girl you were ever gonna land.“ 
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I guess so.” After a few more minutes of quiet, he says, “I think we were done before. I just hadn’t figured it out yet. Something wasn’t right.” 
“You were so back and forth. You’re not mean, there must’ve been something stopping you from going steady,” you agree. “You were breaking up every other week.”
“I know,” he whispers, tipping his head against the back couch. 
“Which, it’s fine, you don’t–” You grimace. “I can’t talk today. Sorry. I just mean that it’s alright that you never made it work.” You worry that sounds plainly obvious and amend, “Doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re never a bad person, Peter.” 
“I know. Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome. You don’t need me to tell you.” 
“It’s nice, though. I like when you tell me stuff. I want all of your secrets.” 
You should say Good, because I have something unbelievable to tell you, and I should’ve said it the moment I got home. 
Good, because last night I met the bravest man in New York City, and he walked me to the store for your chips. 
Good, because I have so much I’m keeping to myself.
You ruffle his hair. Spider-Man goes unmentioned. 
— 
He visits with a whoop. You don’t flinch when he lands —you’d heard the strange whip and splat of his webs landing nearby. 
“Spider-Man,” you say. 
“What’s that about?” 
“What?” 
“The way you said that. You laughed.” Spider-Man stands in spandexed glory before you, mask in place. He’s got a brown stain up the side of his thigh that looks more like mud than blood, but it’s not as though each of his fights are bloodless. They’re infamously gory on occasion.
“Did you get hurt?” you ask. You’re worried. You could help him, if he needs it. 
“Aw, this? That’s a scratch. That’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I’ve had worse from that stray cat living outside of 91st.” 
You look at him sharply. 91st is shorthand for 91st Bodega, and it’s not like you and Peter made it up, but suddenly, the man in front of you is Peter. The way he says it, that unique rhythm. 
Peter’s not so rough-voiced, you argue with yourself. Your Peter speaks in a higher register, dulcet often, only occasionally sarcastic. Spider-Man is rough, and cawing, and loud. Spider-Man acts as though the ground is a suggestion. Peter can’t jump off the second diving board at the pool. Spider-Man rolls his shoulders back in front of you with a confidence Peter rarely has. 
“What?” he asks. 
“Sorry. You just reminded me of someone.” 
His voice falls deeper still. “Someone handsome, I hope.” 
You take a small step around him, hoping it invites him to walk along while communicating how sorely you want to leave the subject behind. When he doesn’t follow, you add, “Yes, he’s handsome.” 
“I knew it.”
“What do you look like under the mask?”
Spider-Man laughs boisterously. “I can’t just tell you that.” 
“No? Do I have to earn it?” 
“It’s not like that. I just don’t tell anyone, ever.” 
“Nobody in the whole world?” you ask. 
The rain is spitting. New York lately is cold cold cold, little in the way of sunshine and no end in sight. Perhaps that’s all November’s are destined to be. You and Spider-Man stick to the inside of the sidewalk. Occasionally, a passerby stares at him, or calls out in Hello, and Spider-Man waves but doesn’t part from you. 
“Tell me something about you and I’ll tell you something about me,” Spider-Man says. “I’ll tell you who knows my identity.” 
“What do you want to know about me?” you ask, surprised. 
“A secret. That’s fair.” 
“Hold on, how’s that fair?” You tighten your scarf against a bitter breeze. “What use do I have for the people who know who you are? That doesn’t bring me any closer to the truth.” 
“It’s not about who knows, it’s about why I told them.” Spider-Man slips around you, forcing you to walk on the inside of the sidewalk as a car pulls past you all too quickly and sends a sheet of dirty rainwater up Spider-Man’s side. He shakes himself off. “Jerk!” he shouts after the car. 
“My secrets aren’t worth anything.”
“I doubt that, but if that’s true, that makes it a fair trade, doesn’t it?” 
He sounds peppy considering the pool of runoff collecting at his feet. You pick up your pace again and say, “Alright, useless secret for a useless secret.” 
You think about all your secrets. Some are odd, some gross. Some might make the people around you think less of you, while others would surely paint you in a nice light. A topaz sort of technicolor. But they aren’t useless, then, so you move on. 
“Oh, I know. I hate my major.” You grin at Spider-Man. “That’s a good one, right? No one else knows about that.” 
“You do?” Spider-Man asks. His voice is familiar, then, for its sympathy. 
“I like science, I just hate math. It’s harder than I thought it would be, and I need so much help it makes me hate the whole thing.” 
Spider-Man doesn’t drag the knife. “Okay. Only three people know who I am under the mask. It was four, briefly.” He clears his throat. “I told one person because I was being selfish and the others out of necessity. I’m trying really hard not to tell anybody else.”
“How come?” 
“It just hurts people.” 
You linger in a gap of silence, not sure what to say. A handful of cars pass you on the road. 
“Tell me another one,” he says. 
“What for?” 
“I don’t know, just tell me one.” 
“How do I know you aren’t extorting me for something?” You grin as you say it, a hint of flirtation. “You’ll know my face and my secrets and even if you tell me a really gory juicy one, I have no one to tell and no name to pair it with.” 
“I’m not showing you anything,” he warns, teasing, sounding so awfully like Peter that your heart trips again, an uneven capering that has you faltering in the street. 
Peter’s shorter, you decide, sizing him up. His voice sounds similar and familiar but Peter doesn’t ask for secrets. He doesn’t have to. (Or, he didn’t have to, once upon a time.) 
“Where are you going?” Spider-Man asks. 
“Oh, nowhere.” 
“Seriously, you’re out here walking again for no reason?” 
“I like to walk. It’s not like it’s dark out yet.” You’re not far at all from Queensboro Hill here. Walking in any direction would lead you to a garden —Flushing Meadows, Kew Gardens, Kissena Park. “Walk me to Kissena?” you ask. 
“Sure, for that secret.” 
You laugh as Spider-Man takes the lead, keeping time with him, a natural match of pace. It’s exciting that Spider-Man of all people wants to know one of your useless secrets enough to ask you twice. The attention of it makes searching for one a matter of how fast you can find one rather than a question of why you’d want to. It slips out before you can think better of it. 
“I burned my wrist a few days ago on a frying pan,” you confess, the phantom pain of the injury an itch. “It blistered and I cried when I did it, but I haven’t told anyone about it.” 
“Why not?” he asks. 
He shouldn’t use that tone with you, like he’s so so sorry. It makes you want to really tell him everything. How insecure you feel, how telling things feels like asking for someone to care, and half the time they don’t, and half the time you’re embarrassed. 
You walk past the bakery that demarcates the beginning of Kissena Park grounds across the way. “I didn’t think about it at first. I’m used to keeping things to myself. And then I didn’t tell anyone for so long that mentioning it now wouldn’t make sense. Like, bringing it up when it’s a scar won’t do much.” It’s a weak lie. It comes out like a spigot to a drying up tree. Glugs, fat beads of sound and the pull to find another thing to say.
“It was only a few days ago, right? It must still hurt. People want to know that stuff.” 
“Maybe I’ll tell someone tomorrow,” you say, though you won’t. 
“Thanks for telling me.”
The humour in spilling a secret like that to a superhero stops you from feeling sorry for yourself. You hide your cold fingers in your coat, rubbing the stiff skin of your knuckles into the lining for friction-heat. The rain has let up, wind whipping empty but brisk against your cheeks. Your lips will be chapped when you get home, whenever that turns out to be. 
“This is pretty far from Trader Joe’s,” he comments, like he’s read your mind. 
“Just an hour.” 
“Are you kidding? It’s an hour for me.” 
“That’s not true, Spider-Man, I’ve seen those webs in action. I still remember watching you on the News that night, the cranes. I remember,” —you try to meet his eyes despite the mask— “my heart in my throat. Weren’t you scared?”
“Is that the secret you want?” he asks. 
“I get to choose?” 
Spider-Man throws his gaze around, his hand behind his head like he might play with his hair. You come to a natural stop across the street from Kissena Park’s playground. Teenagers crowd the soft-landing floor, smaller children playing on the wet rungs of the climbing frame. 
“If you want to,” he says. 
“Then yeah, I want to know if you were scared.” 
“I didn’t haveI time to be scared. Connors was already there, you know?” He shifts from one foot to the other. “I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it before. I wasn’t scared of the height, if that’s what you mean. I already had practice by then, and I knew I had to do it. Like, I didn’t have a choice, so I just did it. I had to save the day, so I did.” 
“When they lined up the cranes–”
“It felt like flying,” Spider-Man interrupts. 
“Like flying.”
You picture the weightlessness, the adrenaline, the catch of your weight so high up and the pressure of being flung between the next point. The idea that you have to just do something, so you do. 
“That’s a good secret.” You offer a grateful smile. “It doesn’t feel equal. I burned myself and you saved the city.” 
“So tell me another one,” he says. 
Maybe you started to fall for Peter after his Uncle Ben passed away. Not the days where you’d text him and he’d ignore you, or the days spent camping outside of his house waiting for him to get home. It wasn’t that you couldn’t like him, angry as he was; there’s always been something about his eyes when he’s upset that sticks around. You loathe to see him sad but he really is pretty, and when his eyelashes are wet and his mouth is turned down, formidable, it’s an ache. A Cabanel painting, dramatic and dark and other. 
It was after. When he started sending Gwen weird smiles and showing up to the movies exhilarated, out of breath, unwilling to tell you where he’d been. Skating, he’d always say. Most of the time he didn’t have his skateboard. 
You’d only seen them kiss once, his hand on her shoulder curling her in, a pang of heat. You were curdled by jealousy but it was more than that. Peter was tipping her head back, was kissing her soundly, a fierceness from him that made you sick to think about. You spent weeks afterwards up at night, tossing, turning, wishing he’d kiss you like that, just once, so you could feel how it felt to be completely wrapped up in another person. 
You’d always held out for Peter, in a way. It was more important to you that he be your friend. You were young, and love had been a far off thing, and then one day you suddenly wanted it. You learned just how aching an unrequited love could be, like a bruise, where every time you saw Peter —whether it be alone or with Gwen, with anyone— it was like he knew exactly where to poke the bruise. Press the heel of his hand and push. The worst is when he found himself affectionate with you, a quick clasp of your cheek in his palm as he said goodbye. Nights spent in his twin bed, of course you’ll fit, of course you couldn’t go home, not this late, May won’t care if we keep the door open —the suggestion that the door being closed might’ve meant something. His sleeping arm furled around you. 
Now you’re nearing the end of your second semester at ESU, Gwen is going to England at the end of the year, and Peter hasn’t tried to stop her, but he’s still busy. 
“Whatever,“ you say, taking a deep breath. You’re not mad at Peter, you just miss him. Thinking about him all the time won’t change a thing. “It’s fine.” 
“I’d hope so.” 
You swing around. “Don’t do that!”
Spider-Man looks vaguely chastened, taking a step back. “I called out.” 
“You did?” 
“I did. Hey, miss, over there! The one who doesn’t know how to get a goddamn taxi!” 
“I like to walk,” you say. 
“Yeah, so you’ve said. Have you considered that all this walking is bad for you? It’s freezing out, Miss Bennett!” 
“It’s not that bad.” You have your coat, a scarf, your thermal leggings underneath your jeans. “I’m fine.” 
“What’s wrong with staying at home?” 
“That’s not good for you. And you’re one to talk, Spider-Man, aren’t you out on the streets every night? You should take a day off.” 
“I don’t do this every night.” 
“Don’t you get tired?”
Spider-Man’s eyelets seem to squint, his mock-anger effusive as he crosses his arms across his chest. “No, of course not. Do I look like I get tired?” 
“I don’t know. You’re in a full suit, I can’t tell. I guess you don’t… seem tired. You know, with all the backflips.” 
“Want me to do one?” 
“On command?” You laugh. “No, that’s okay. Save your strength, Spider-Man.” 
“So where are you heading today?” he asks. 
There’s a slip of skin peeking out against his neck. You’re surprised he can’t feel the cold there, stepping toward him to point. “I can see your stubble.” 
He yanks his mask down. “Hasty getaway.” 
“A getaway, undressed? Spider-Man, that’s not very gentlemanly.” 
You start to walk toward the Cinemart. Spider-Man, to your strange pleasure, follows. He walks with considerable casualness down the sidewalk by your left, occasionally letting his head turn to chase a distant sound where it echoes from between high-rises and along the busy street. It’s cold and dark, but New York is hectic no matter what, even the residential areas. (Is there such a thing? The neighbourhoods burst with small businesses and backstreet sales, no matter the time.)
“Luckily for you, crime is slow tonight,” he says. 
“Lucky me?” You wonder if your acquainted vigilante flirts with every girl he stalks. “You realise I’ve managed to get everywhere I’m going for the last two decades without help?” 
“I assume there was more than a little help during that first decade.” 
“That’s what you think. I was a super independent toddler.” 
Spider-Man tips his head back and laughs, but that laugh is quickly squashed with a cough. “Sure you were.” 
“Is there a reason you’re escorting me, Spider-Man?” you ask. 
“No. I– I recognised you, I thought I’d say hi.” 
“Hi, Spider-Man.” 
“Hi.” 
“Can I ask you something? Do you work?” 
Spider-Man stammers again, “I– yeah. I work. Freelance, mostly.” 
“I was wondering how you fit all the crime fighting into your life, is all. University is tough enough.” You let the wind bat your scarf off of your shoulder. “I couldn’t do what you do.” 
“Yeah, you could.” 
He sounds sure. 
“How would you know?” you ask. “Maybe I’m awful when you’re not walking me around. I hate New York. I hate people.” 
“No, you don’t. You’re not awful. Don’t ask me how I know, ‘cos I just know.” 
You try not to look at him. If you look at him, you’re gonna smile at him like he hung the moon. “Well, tonight I’m going to be dreadfully selfish. My friend said he’d buy my movie ticket and take me out for dinner, a real dinner, the mac and cheese with imitation lobster at Benny’s. Have you tried that?” 
Spider-Man takes a big step. “Tonight?” he asks. 
“Yep, tonight. That’s where I’m going, the Cinemart.” You frown at his hand pressing into his stomach. “Are you okay? You look like you’re gonna throw up.” 
“I can hear– something. Someone’s crying. I gotta go, okay? Have fun at the movies, okay?” He throws his arm up, a silken web shooting from his wrist to the third floor of an apartment complex. “Bye!” he shouts, taking a running jump to the apartment, using his web as an anchor. He flings himself over the roof. 
Woah, you think, warmth filling your cold cheeks, the tip of your nose. He’s lithe.  
Peter arrives ten minutes late for the movie, which is half an hour later than you’d agreed to meet. 
“Sorry!” he shouts, breathless as he grabs your hands. “God, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. You should beat me up. I’m sorry.” 
“What the fuck happened?” you ask, not particularly angry, only relieved to see him with enough time to still catch the movie. “You’re sweating like crazy, your hair’s wet.” 
“I ran all the way here, Jesus, do I smell bad? Don’t answer that. Fuck, do we have time?” 
You usher Peter inside. He pays for the tickets with hands shaking and you attempt to wipe the sweat from his forehead with your sleeve. “You could’ve called me,” you say, content to let him grab you by the arm and race you to the screen doors, “we could’ve caught the next one. Why were you so late, anyways? Did you forget?” 
“Forget about my favourite girl? How could I?” He elbows open the doors to let you enter first. “Now shh,” he whispers, “find the seats, don’t miss the trailers. You love them.” 
“You love them–”
“I’ll get popcorn,” he promises, letting the door close between you. 
You’re tempted to follow, fingers an inch from the handle. 
You turn away and rush to find your seats. Hopefully, the popcorn line is ten blocks long, and he spends the night punished for his wrongdoing. My favourite girl. You laugh nervously into your hand. 
Winter 
Spider-Man finds you at least once a week for the next few weeks. He even brings you an umbrella one time, stars on the handle, asking you rather politely to go home. He offers to buy you a hot dog as you’re walking past the stand, takes you on a shortcut to the convenience store, and helps you get a piece of gum off of your shoe with a leaf and a scared scream. He’s friendly, and you’re getting used to his company. 
One night, you’re almost home from Trader Joe’s, racing in the pouring rain when a familiar voice calls out, “Hey! Running girl! Wait a second!” 
Him, you think, as ridiculous as it sounds. You don’t know his name, but Spider-Man’s a sunny surprise in a shitty, wet winter, and you turn to the sound with a grin.
He jogs toward you. 
You feel the world pause, right in the centre of your throat. All the air gets sucked out of you. 
“Hey, what are you doing out here? Did you get my texts?” 
You blink as fat rain lands on your face. 
“You okay?” Peter asks, Peter, in a navy hoodie turning black in the rain and a brown corduroy jacket. It’s sodden, hanging heavily around his shoulders. “Come on, let’s go,” —he takes your hand and pulls until you begin to speed walk beside him— “it’s freezing!” 
“Peter–”
“Jesus Christ!” 
“Peter, what are you doing here?” you ask, your voice an echo as he drags you into the foyer of your apartment building. 
Rain hammers the door as he closes it, the windows, the foyer too dark to see properly. 
“I wanted to see you. Is that allowed?” 
“No.” 
Peter takes your hand. You look down at it, and he looks down in tandem, and it is decidedly a non-platonic move. “No?” he asks, a hair’s width from murmuring. 
“Shit, my groceries are soaked.” 
“It’s all snacks, it’s fine,” he says, pulling you to the stairs. 
You rush up the steps together to your floor. Peter takes your key when you offer it, your own fingers too stiff to manage it by yourself, and he holds the door open for you again to let you in. 
Your apartment is a ragtag assortment to match the one next door, old wooden furniture wheeled from the street corners they were left on, thrifted homeward and heavy blankets everywhere you look. You almost slip getting out of your shoes. Peter steadies you with a firm hand. He shrugs out of his coat and hangs it on the hook, prying the damp hoodie over his head and exposing a solid length of back that trips your heart as you do the same. 
“Sorry I didn’t ask,” Peter says. 
“What, to come over? It’s fine. I like you being here, you know that.” 
All your favourite days were spent here or at Peter’s house, in beds, on sofas, his hair tickling your neck as credits run down the TV and his breath evens to a light snore. You try to settle down with him, changing into dry clothes, his spare stuff left at the bottom of your wardrobe for his next inevitable impromptu visit. You turn on the TV, letting him gather you into his side with more familiarity than ever. Rain lays its fingertips on your window and draws lazy lines behind half-turned blinds. You rest on the arm and watch Peter watch the movie, answering his occasional, “You okay?” with a meagre nod. 
“What’s wrong?” he asks eventually. “You’re so quiet.” 
Your hand over your mouth, you part your marriage and pinky finger, marriage at the corner, pinky pressed to your bottom lip, the flesh chapped by a season of frigid winds and long walks. “‘M thinking,” you say. 
“About?” 
About the first night in your new apartment. You got the apartment a couple of weeks before the start of ESU. Not particularly close to the university but close to Peter, your best, nicest friend. You met in your second year of High School, before Peter got contacts, ‘cos he was good at taking photographs and you were in charge of the school newspapers media sourcing. You used to wait for Peter to show up ten minutes late like clockwork, every week. And every week he’d barge into the club room and say, “Fuck, I’m sorry, my last class is on the other side of the building,” until it turned into its own joke. 
Three years later, you got your apartment, and Peter insisted you throw a housewarming party even if he was the only person invited. 
“Fuck,” he’d said, ten minutes late, a cake in one hand and a whicker basket the other, “sorry. My last class is on–”
But he didn’t finish. You’d laughed so hard with relief at the reference that he never got the chance. Peter remembered your very first inside joke, because Peter wasn’t about to go off to ESU and meet new friends and forget you. 
But Peter’s been distant for a while now, because Peter’s Spider-Man. 
“Do you remember,” you say, not willing to share the whole truth, “when you joined the school newspaper to be the official photographer, and you taught me the rule of thirds?” 
“So you didn’t need me,” he says. 
“I was just thinking about it. We ran that newspaper like the Navy.” 
Peter holds your gaze. “Is that really what you were thinking about?” 
“Just funny,” you murmur, dropping your hand in your lap and breaking his stare. “So much has changed.” 
“Not that much.” 
“Not for me, no.” 
Peter gets a look in his eyes you know well. He’s found a crack in you and he’s gonna smooth it over until you feel better. You’re expecting his soft tone, his loving smile, but you’re not expecting the way he pulls you in —you’d slipped away from him as the evening went on, but Peter erases every millimetre of space as he slides his arm under your lower back and ushers you into his side. You hold your breath as he hugs you, as he looks down at you. It’s really like he loves you, the line between platonic and romantic a blur. He’s never looked at you like this before.
“I don’t want you to change,” he whispers. 
“I want to catch up with you,” you whisper back. 
“Catch up with me? We’re in the exact same place, aren’t we?”
“I don’t know, are we?” 
Peter hugs you closer, squishing your head down against his jaw as he rubs your shoulder. “Of course we are.” 
Peter… What is he doing? 
You let yourself relax against him. 
“You do change,” he whispers, an utterance of sound to calm that awful bruise he gave you all those months ago, “you change every day, but you don’t need to try.” 
“I just… feel like everyone around me is…” You shake your head. “Everyone’s so smart, and they know what they’re doing, or they’re– they’re special. I don’t know anything. So I guess lately I’ve been thinking about that, and then you–”
“What?” 
You can say it out loud. You could. 
“Peter, you’re…” 
“I’m what?” he asks. 
His fingers glide down the length of your arm and up again. 
If you're wrong, he’ll laugh. And if you’re right, he might– might stop touching you. Your head feels so heavy, and his touch feels like it’s gonna put you to sleep. 
He’s Spider-Man. 
It makes sense. Who else could have a good enough heart to do that? Of course it’s Peter. It explains so much about him, about Peter and Spider-Man both. Why Peter is suddenly firmer, lighter on his feet, why he can help you move a wardrobe up two flights of stairs without complaint; why Spider-Man is so kind to you, why he knows where to find you, why he rolls his words around just like Pete. 
Spider-Man said there are reasons he wears his mask. And Peter doesn’t tell you much, but you trust him. 
You won’t make him say anything, you decide. Not now. 
You curl your arm over his stomach hesitantly, smiling into his shirt as he hugs you tighter. 
“I was thinking about you,” he says. 
“Yeah?” 
“You’re quieter lately. I know you’re having a hard time right now, okay? You don’t have to tell me. I’m here for you whenever you need me.” 
“Yeah?” you ask.
“You used to sit on my porch when you knew May wouldn’t be home to make sure I wasn’t alone.” Peter’s breath is warm on your forehead. “I don’t know what you’re worried about being, but I’m with you,” he says, “‘n nothing is gonna change that.” 
Peter isn’t as far away as you thought. 
“Thank you,” you say. 
He kisses your forehead softly. Your whole world goes amber. He brings his hand to your cheek, the thought of him tipping your head back sudden and heart-racing, but Peter only holds you. You lose count of how many minutes you spend cupped in his hand. 
“Can I stay over tonight?” he utters, barely audible under the sound of the battering rain. 
“Yeah, please.” 
His thumb strokes your cheek. 
Two switches flip at once, that night. Peter is suddenly as tactile as you’ve craved, and Spider-Man disappears. 
He’s alive and well, as evidenced by Peter’s continued survival and presence in your life, but Spider-Man doesn’t drop in on your nightly walks. 
You take less of them lately, feeling better in yourself. Your spirits are certainly lifted by Peter’s increasing affection, but now that you know he’s Spider-Man you were waiting to see him in spandex to mess with his head. Nothing mean, but you would’ve liked to pick at his secret identity, toy with him like you know he’d do to you. After all, he’s been trailing you for weeks and getting to know you. Peter already knows you. Plus, you told Spider-Man secrets not meant for Peter Parker’s ears. 
You find it hard to be angry with him. A thread of it remains whenever you remember his deception, but mostly you worry about him. Peter’s out every night until who knows what hour fighting crime. There are guns. He could get shot, and he doesn’t seem scared. You end up watching videos on the internet of the night he ran to Oscorp, when he fought Connors’ and got that huge gash in his leg. His leg is soiled deep red with blood but banded in white webbing. He limps as he races across a rooftop, the recording shaky yet high definition. 
It’s not nice to see Peter in pain. You cling to what he’d said, how he wasn’t scared, but not being scared doesn’t mean he wasn’t hurting. 
You chew the tip of a finger and click on a different video. Your computer monitor bears heat, the tower whirring by your thigh. Your eyes burn, another hour sitting in the same seat, sick with worry. You don’t mind when Peter doesn’t answer your texts anymore. You didn’t mind so much before, just terrified of becoming an irrelevance in his life and lonely, too, maybe a little hurt, but never worried for his safety. Now when Peter doesn’t text you back you convince yourself that he’s been hurt, or that he’s swinging across New York City about to risk his life.
It’s not a good way to live. You can’t stop giving into it, is all. 
In the next video, Spider-Man sits on a billboard with a can of coke in hand. He doesn’t lift his mask, seemingly aware of his watcher. You laugh as he angles his head down, suspicion in his tight shoulders. He relaxes when he sees whoever it is recording. 
“Hey,” he says, “you all right?” 
“Should you be up there?” the person recording shouts. 
“I’m fine up here!” 
“Are you really Spider-Man?” 
“Sure am.” 
“Are you single?” 
Peter laughs like crazy. How you didn’t know it was him before is a mystery —it couldn’t sound more like him. “I’ve got my eye on someone!” he says, sounding younger for it, the character voice he enacts when he’s Spider-Man lost to a good mood.  
Your phone rings in the back pocket of your jeans. You wriggle it out, nonplussed to find Peter himself on your screen. You click the green answer button. 
“Hello?” Peter asks. 
You bring the phone snug to your ear. “Hey, Peter.” 
“Hi, are you busy?” 
“Not really.” 
“Do you wanna come over? I know it’s late. Come stay the night and tomorrow we’ll go out for breakfast.” 
“Is Aunt May okay with that?” 
“She’s staring at me right now shaking her head, but I’m in trouble for something. May, can she come over, is that allowed?” 
“She’s always allowed as long as you keep the door open.”
You laugh under your breath at May’s begrudging answer. “Are you sure she’s alright with it?” you ask softly. “I don’t want to be a burden.” 
“You never, ever could be. I’m coming to your place and we’ll walk over together. Did you eat dinner?” 
“Not yet, but–”
“Okay, I’ll make you something when you get here. I’ll meet you at the door. Twenty minutes?” 
“I have to shower first.” 
“Twenty five?” 
You choke on a laugh, a weird bubbly thing you’re not used to. Peter laughs on the other side of the phone. “How about I’ll see you at seven?” 
“It’s a date,” he says. 
“Mm, put it in your calendar, Parker.” 
Peter waits for you at the door like he promised. He frowns at your still-wet face as he slips your backpack from your shoulder, throwing it over his own. “You’re gonna get sick.” 
“I‘ll dry fast,” you say. “I took too long finding my pyjamas.” 
“I have stuff you can wear. Probably have your sweatpants somewhere, the grey ones.” Peter pulls you forward and wipes your tacky face. “I would’ve waited,” he says. 
“It’s fine.“
“It’s not fine. Are you cold?” 
“Pete, it’s fine.” 
“You always remind me of my Uncle Ben when you call me Pete,” he laughs, “super stern.” 
“I’m not stern. Look, take me home, please, I’m cold.” 
“You said it wasn’t cold!” 
“It’s not, I’m just damp–” Peter cuts you off as he grabs you, sudden and tight, arms around you and rubbing the lengths of your back through your coat. “Handsy!”
“You like it,” he jokes back, his playful warming turning into a hug. You smile, hiding your face in his neck for a few moments. 
“I don’t like it,” you lie. 
“Okay, you don’t like it, and I’m sorry.” Peter gives you a last hug and pulls away. “Now let’s go. I gotta feed you before midnight.” 
“That’s not funny.” 
“Apparently, nothing is.” 
Peter links your arms together. By the time you get to his house, you’ve fallen away from each other naturally. May is in the hallway when you climb through the door, an empty laundry basket in her hands. 
“I see Peter hasn’t won this argument yet,” you say in way of greeting. Peter’s desperate to do his own laundry now he’s getting older. May won’t let him. 
“No, he hasn’t.” She looks you up and down. “It’s nice to see you, honey. And in one piece! Peter tells me you’ve been walking a lot, and I mean, in this city? Can’t you buy a treadmill?” she asks. 
“May!” Peter says, startled. 
“I like walking, I like the air,” you say.
“Can’t exactly call it fresh,” May says. 
“No, but it’s alright. It helps me think.” 
“Is everything okay?” May asks, putting her hand on her hip. 
“Of course.” You smile at her genuinely. “I think starting college was too much for me? It was hard. But things are settling now, I don’t know what Peter told you, but I’m not walking a lot anymore. You know, not more than necessary.”
She softens her disapproving. “Good, honey. That’s good. Peter’s gonna make you some dinner now, right?” 
“Yeah, Aunt May, I’m gonna make dinner,” Peter sighs, pulling a leg up to take off his shoes. 
Peter shouldn’t really know that you’ve been walking. He might see you coming back from Trader Joe’s or the bodega on his way to your apartment, but you haven’t mentioned any of your longer excursions, and everybody in Queens has to walk. That’s information he wouldn’t know without Spider-Man. 
He seems to be hoping you won’t realise, changing the subject to the frankly killer grilled cheese and tomato soup that he’s about to make you, and pushing you into a chair at the table. “Warm up,” he says near the back of your head, forcing a wave of shivers down your arms.
He makes soup in one pan, grilled cheese in the other, two for him and two for you. Peter’s a good eater, and he encourages the same from you, setting a big bowl of tomato soup (from the can, splash of fresh cream) down in front of you with the grilled cheese on a plate between you. You eat it in too-hot bites and try not to get caught looking at him. He does the same, but when he catches you, or when you catch him, he holds your eye and smiles. 
“I can do the dishes,” you say. You might need a breather. 
“Are you kidding? I’m gonna rinse them, put them in the dishwasher.” Peter stands and feels your forehead with his hand. “Warmer. Good job.” 
You shrug away from his hand. “Loser.” 
“Concerned friend.” 
“Handsy loser.” 
”Shut up,” he mumbles. 
As flustered as you’ve ever seen, Peter takes your empty dishes to the kitchen. When he’s done rinsing them off you follow him upstairs to his bedroom and tuck your backpack under his bed. 
You look down at your socks. Peter’s room is on the smaller side, but it’s never been as startlingly small as it is when Peter’s socked feet align with yours, toe to toe. Quick recovery time, this boy. 
“There’s chips and stuff on my desk. Or I could run to 91st for some ice cream sandwiches if you want something sweet,” he says. 
You lift your eyes, tilt your head up just a touch, not wanting him to think you’re in his space no matter how strange that might be, considering he chose to stand there. “I’m all right. Did you want ice cream? We can go if you want to, but if you want to go ’cos you think I do then I’m fine.” 
“That’s such a long answer,” he says, draping an arm over your shoulder. “You don’t have to say all of that, just tell me no.” 
“I don’t want ice cream.” 
“Wasn’t that easy?” he asks. 
“Well, no, it wasn’t. Saying no to you is like saying no to a puppy.” 
“Because I’m adorable?” 
“Persistent.” 
“Yeah, I guess I am.” He drapes the other arm over you. The soap he used at the kitchen sink lingers on his hands. 
“Peter…?” you murmur. 
“What?” he murmurs back. 
You touch a knuckle to his chest. “This– You…” Every quelled thought rushes to the surface at once —Peter doesn’t like you as you desire, how could he, you aren’t beautiful like he is, aren’t smart, aren’t brave, no exceptional kindness or goodness to mark you enough for him. It’s why his being with Gwen didn’t hurt; she made sense. And for months now you’ve wondered what it is that made him struggle to be with her. And sometimes, foolishly, you wondered if it was you. But it’s not you, it’s never you, and whatever Peter’s trying to do now–
“Hey, you okay?” he asks, taking your face into his hand. 
“What are you doing?” 
“What?” He pushes his hand back to hold your nape, thumb under your ear. “I can’t hear you.”  
You raise your voice. “Why did you invite me over tonight?” 
“‘Cos I missed you?” 
“I used to think you didn’t miss me at all.” 
Peter winces, hurt. “How could you think that? Of course I miss you. What you said to May, about college being hard? It’s like that for me too, okay? I miss you all the time.” 
You bite the inside of your bottom lip. “…College isn’t hard for you.” 
“It’s not easy.” He frowns, the fallen angel, his lips an unsure brushstroke. “What’s wrong? Did I say the wrong thing?” 
You’re being wretched, you know, saying it isn’t hard for him. “You didn’t. Really, you didn’t.” 
“But why are you upset?” he implores, dark eyes darker as his eyebrows tug together.
“I’m not–”
“You are. It’s okay, you can be upset. I just want you to feel better, you know that?” He settles his hands at the tops of your arms. Less intimate, but something warm remains. “Even if it takes a long time.” 
“I’m fine.” 
“You’re not fine.”
“How would you know?” you finally ask. 
Peter stares at you. 
“I know you,” he says carefully, “and I know you aren’t struggling like you were, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that you have to be a hundred percent better now.” 
“I didn’t realise that I was,” you say, licking your lips, “‘til now. I didn’t get that it was on the surface.”
Peter pulls you in for a gentle hug. “I’m here for you forever, and I’ll make it up to you for not noticing sooner,” he says, scrunching your shirt in his hand.
After the hug, he tells you to change and make yourself comfortable while he showers. So you put on your pyjamas and climb into Peter’s bed, head pounding as though all your energy was stolen in a fell swoop. You press your nose to his pillow and arm wrapped around his comforter, gathering it into a Peter sized lump. The shower pump whines against the shared wall. 
Things aren’t meant to be like this. You thought Peter touching you —holding you— was the deepest of your desires, but you feel now exactly as you had before he started blurring the line, needing Peter to kiss you so badly it becomes its own kind of nausea. Why are you still acting like it’s an impossibility?
When he comes back, you’ll apologise. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He does keep a secret, but don’t you keep one too? He’s Spider-Man. You’ve had deep, complicated feelings for him for months. They are secrets of equal magnitude, and are, more apparently, badly kept. 
You wish you could fall asleep. Your heart ticks in agitation.
Peter returns as perturbed as earlier. 
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” he asks, raking a hand through his hair. A towel hangs around his neck. 
“I’m sorry for being weird.” 
“You’re not weird,” Peter says, bringing the towel to his hair to scrub ruthlessly. 
“It’s just ‘cos things have been different between us.” And, you try to say, that scares me no matter how bad I wanted it. because you’re not just Peter anymore, you’re Spider-Man. I’m only me, and I can’t do anything to protect you.
Peter gives his hair a long scrub before draping the towel on his desk chair. He rakes it messily into place and sits himself at the end of the bed. You sit up. 
“Yeah, they have been. Good different?” he asks hesitantly. 
“I think so,” you say, quiet again. 
“That’s what I thought.” 
“I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to be here. I just worry about you.” 
Peter uses his hands to get higher up the bed. “Don’t worry about me,” he says, “Jesus, please don’t. That’s the last thing I want from you, I hate when people worry about me.” 
You curl into the lump of comforter you’d made. Peter lets himself rest beside you, his back to the bedroom wall, tens of Polaroids above him shining with the light of the hallway and his orange-bulbed lamp. His skin is glowing like it’s golden hour, dashes of topaz in his eyes, his Cupid’s bow deep. How would it feel to lean forward and kiss him? To catch his Cupid's bow under your lips?
You brush a damp curl tangled in another onto his forehead. 
You lay there for a little while without talking, listening to the sound of the washing machine as it cycles downstairs. 
“Am I going too fast?” Peter murmurs. 
You press your lips together, shaking your head minutely. 
“Is it something else?” 
You don’t move. 
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks. 
“No.”
Peter rewards you with a smile, his hand on your arm. “Alright. Let me get this blanket on you the right way. You’re still cold.” 
You resent the loss of a shape to hold when Peter slips down beside you and wrangles the comforter flat again, spreading it out over you both, his hand under the blankets. His knuckles brush your thigh. 
He takes a deep breath before turning and wrapping his arm over your stomach, asking softly, “Is this alright?” 
“Yeah.” 
He gives you a look and then lifts his head to slot his nose against your temple. “Please don’t take this in a way that I don’t mean it, but sometimes you think about things so much I worry you’re gonna get stuck in your head forever.” 
“I like thinking.” 
“I hate it,” he says quickly, a fervent, flirting cadence to his otherwise dulcet tone, “we should never do it ever again.” 
“I’ll try not to.” 
“Would you? For me?” 
You laugh into his shirt, feeling the warmth of your breath on your own nose. “I’ll do my best.” 
“Good. I’d miss you too much if you got lost in that nice head of yours.” 
You relax under his arm. You aren’t sure what all the fuss was about now that he's hugging you. “I’d miss you too.”
May comes up the stairs about an hour later. To her credit, she doesn’t flinch when she finds you and Peter smushed together watching a DVD on his old TV. He’s holding your arm, and you’re snoozing on his shoulder, half-aware of the world, fully aware of his nice smells and the shapes of his arms. 
“Door open,” she says. 
“Not that either of us want it closed, May, but we’re adults.” 
“Not while I’m still washing your clothes, you’re not.” 
He snorts. “Goodnight, Aunt May. The door isn’t gonna close, I promise.” 
“I know that,” she says, scornful in her pride. “You’re a good boy.” She lightens. “Things are going okay?” 
Peter covers your ear. “Goodnight, Aunt May.” 
”I have half a mind to never listen to you again. You talk my ear off and I can’t ask a simple question?” 
“I love you,” Peter sing-songs. 
“I love you, Peter,” she says. “Don’t smother the girl.” 
“I won’t smother her. It’s in my best interest that she survives the night. She’s buying my breakfast tomorrow.” 
“Peter Parker.” 
“I’m kidding,” he whispers, petting your cheek absentmindedly. “Just messing with you, May.” 
You smile and curl further into his arms. His voice is like the sun, even when he whispers.  
To your surprise, Spider-Man comes to find you after class one evening. A guest lecturer had talked to your oncology class about click chemistry and other molecular therapies against cancer, and the zine book she’d given you is burning a hole in your pocket. Peter is going to love it. 
You pull it out and pause beside a bench and a silver trash can, the day grey but thankfully without rain. The pages of your little book whip forcefully in the wind. It’s chemistry, sure, but it’s biology too, wrapping your and Peter’s interests up neatly. If it weren’t for Peter you doubt you’d love science as much as you do. He’s always been good at it, but since you started college he's been a genius. Watching him grow has encouraged you to work harder, and understanding the material is satisfying, if draining. You take a photo of the middle most pages and tuck the book away, writing a quick text to Peter to send with it. 
Look! it says, LEGO cancer treatment!! 
The moment you press send a beep chimes from somewhere close behind you, all too familiar. You turn to the source but find nobody you know waiting. Coincidence, you think, shaking yourself and beginning the trek to the subway. 
But then you hear the tell tale splat and thwick of Spider-Man’s webbing. 
You wait until you’re at the alleyway between Porto’s Bakery and the key cutting shop and turn down to stop by one of the dumpsters. 
“Spider-Man?” you ask, shoulders tensed in case it’s not who you think. 
“What are you doing?” he asks.
You gasp as he hops down in front of you, his suit shiny with its dark web-pattern caught by the grey sunshine passing through the clouds overhead. “Shit, don’t break your ankles.” 
“My ankles?” He laughs. He sounds so much like Peter that you can only laugh with him. What an idiot he is for thinking you don’t know; what a fool you’d been for falling for his put upon tenor. “They’re fine. What would be wrong with my ankles?” 
“You just dropped down twenty feet!” 
“It’s more like thirty, and I’m fine. You understand the super part of superhero, don’t you?” 
“Who said you’re a superhero?” 
“Nice. What are you doing down here?” 
“I was testing my theory. You’re following me.” 
“No, I’m visiting you, it’s very different,” he says confidently. 
“You haven’t come to see me for weeks.” 
“Yes, well, I–” Spider-Peter crosses his arms across his chest. “Hey, you’re the one who told me to take a day off.” 
“I did tell you to take a day off. It’s not nice thinking about you trying to save the world every single night. That’s a lot of responsibility for one person to have.” 
“But it’s my responsibility,” he says easily. “No point in a beautiful girl like you wasting her time worrying about it. I have to do it, and I don’t mind it.” 
“Do you flirt with every girl you meet out here in the city?” you ask, cheeks hot. 
“No,” he says, fondness evident even through the mask, “just you.” 
“Do you wanna walk me home? I was gonna take the subway, but it’s not that far.” 
Spider-Man nods. “Yeah, I’ll walk you back.” 
He doesn’t hide that he knows the way very well. He takes preemptive turns, crosses roads without you telling him to go forward. You can’t believe him. Smartest guy at Midtown High and he can’t pretend to save his life. 
“Are you having a good semester?” he asks. 
“It’s getting better. I’m glad I stuck with it. I love biology, it’s so fucking hard. I used to think that was a bad thing, but it makes it cooler now. Like, it’s not something everyone understands.” You give him a look, and you give into temptation. “My best friend got me into all this stuff. I used to think math was hopeless and science was for dorks.” 
“It’s definitely for dorks.” 
“Right, but I love being one.” You offer a useless secret. “I like to think that it’s why we’re such great friends.” 
“Me and you?” Spider-Man asks hoarsely. 
“Me and Peter.” You elbow him without force. “Why, do you like science?” 
“I love it…” 
“You know, I really like you, Spider-Man. I feel like we’ve been friends for a long time.” You’re teasing poor Peter. 
He doesn’t speak for a while. He stops walking, but you take a few steps without him. When you realise he’s stopped, you turn back to see him. 
Peter’s gone so tense you could strike him with a flint and catch a spark. It’s the same way Peter looked at you when he told you about his Uncle, a truth he didn’t want to be true. Seeing it throws a spanner in the works of all your teasing: you’d meant to wind him up, not make him panic. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask. “Can you hear something?” 
“No, it’s not that…” He’s masked, but you know him well enough to understand why he’s stopped. 
“It’s okay,” you say. 
“It’s not, actually.” 
“Spider-Man.” You take a step toward him. “It’s fine.”
He presses his hands to his stomach. The sun is setting early, and in an hour, the dark will eat up New York and leave it in a blistering cold. “Do you remember when we first met, the second time, we swapped secrets?” 
“Yeah, I remember. Useless secret for another. I told you I hated my major. It’s not true anymore, obviously. I was having a bad time.” 
“I know you were,” he says, emphasis on know, like it’s a different word entirely. 
“But meeting you really helped. If it weren’t for you, for Peter,” —you give him a searching look— “I wouldn’t feel better at all.” 
“It wasn’t his fault?” he asks. “He was your friend, and you were lonely.” 
“No–”
“He didn’t know what was going on with you, he didn’t have a clue. You hurt yourself and you felt like you couldn’t tell anybody, and I know it wasn’t an accident, so what was his excuse?” His voice burns with anger. “It’s his fault.” 
“Of course it wasn’t your fault. Is that what you think?” You shake your head, panicked by the bone-deep self loathing in his voice, his shameful dropped head. “Yes, I was lonely, I am lonely, I don’t know many people and I– I– I hurt myself, and it wasn’t as accidental as I thought it was, but why would that be your fault?” 
“Peter’s fault,” he says, though his head is lifted now, and he doesn’t bother enthusing it with much gusto. 
“Peter, none of it was your fault.” You cringe in your embarrassment, thinking Fuck, don’t let me ruin this. “I was in a weird way, and yes, I was lonely, and I really liked you more than I should have. You didn't want me and that wasn’t your fault, that’s just how it was, I tried not to let it get to me, just there were a lot of things weighing on me at once, but it really wasn’t as bad as you think it was and it wasn’t your fault.” 
“I wasn’t there for you,” he says. “And I’ve been lying to you for a long time.” 
“You couldn’t tell me, right? Spider-Man is your secret for a reason.” 
“…I didn’t even know you were lonely until you told him. He was a stranger.” 
You hold your hands behind your back. “Well, he was a familiar one.” 
Peter reaches out as though wanting to touch you, but your arms aren’t in his reach. “It’s not because I didn’t want you.” 
“Peter,” you say, squirming. 
He steps back. 
“I have to go,” he says. 
“What?” 
“I have to– I don’t want to go,” he says earnestly, “sweetheart, I can hear someone calling out, I have to go. But I’ll come back, I’ll– I’ll come back,” he promises. 
And with a sudden lift of his arm, Peter pulls himself up the side of a building and disappears, leaving you whiplashed on the sidewalk, the sun setting just out of view.
You fall asleep that night waiting for Peter. When you wake up, 5AM, eyes aching, he isn’t there. You check your phone but he hasn’t texted. You check the Bugle and Spider-Man hasn’t been seen. 
You aren’t sure what to think. He sounded sincere to the fullest extent when he said he’d come back, but he didn’t, not ten minutes later, not twenty. You made excuses and you went home before it got too dark to see the street, sat on the couch rehearsing what you’d say. How could Peter think your unhappiness was his fault? Why does he always put the entire world on his shoulders?
Selfishly, you worried what it all meant for his lazy touches. Would he want to curl up into bed with you again now he knows what it means to you? It’s different for him. It isn’t like he’s in love with you… you’d just thought maybe he could be. That this was falling in love, real love, not the unrequited ache you’d suffered before. 
But maybe you got everything wrong. All of it. It wouldn't be the first time. 
You and Peter found The Moroccan Mode in your senior year at Midtown. The school library was small and you were sick of being underfoot at home. When you started at ESU, you explored the on campus coffeehouse, the Coffee Bean, but it was crowded, and you’d found yourself attached to the Mode’s beautiful tiling, blues and topaz and platinum golds, its heavy, oiled wooden furniture, stained glass lampshades and the case full of lemony treats. The coffee here is better than anywhere else, but the best part out of everything is that it’s your secret. Barely anybody comes to the Mode on purpose. 
You hide in a far corner with a book and an empty cup of decaf coffee, a slice of meskouta on the table untouched. Decaf because caffeine felt a terrible idea, meskouta untouched because you can’t stomach the smell. You push it to the opposite end of the table, considering another cup of coffee instead. It’s served slightly too hot, and will still be warm when it gets to your chest. 
The sunshine is creeping in slowly. It feels like the first time you’ve seen it in months, warming rays kissing your fingers and lining the walls. You turn a page, turn your wrist, let the sun warm the scar you gave yourself those few months ago, when everything felt too big for you. 
Looking back, it was too big. Maybe soon you’ll be ready to talk about it.  
The author in your book is talking about bees. They can fly up to 15 miles per hour. They make short, fast motions from front to back, a rocking motion. Asian giant hornets can go even faster despite their increased mass. They consider humans running provocation. If you see a giant hornet, you’re supposed to lay down to avoid being stung. 
You put your face in your hand. Next year, you’ll avoid the insect-based electives. 
Across the cafe, the bell at the top of the door rings. Laughter falls through it, a couple passing by. The register clashes open. A minute later it closes. 
You don’t raise your head when footsteps draw near. A plate is placed on the table, pushed across to you, stopping just shy of your coffee. 
“Did you eat breakfast?” Peter asks quietly. 
His voice is gentle, but hoarse. 
You tense. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, not waiting for your answer to either question. “You don’t look like yourself. Your eyes are red.” 
You lift your head. Wet with the beginnings of tears, you see Peter through an astigmatic blur. 
“What are you reading?” He frowns at you. “Please don’t cry.” 
You shake your head. Your smile is all odd, nothing like his, no inherent warmth despite your best effort. “I’m okay.” 
He nudges you across the booth seat and sits beside you. His arm settles behind your shoulders. He smells like smoke and soap, an acrid scent barely hidden. “Can you tell me you didn’t wait long for me?” 
“Ten minutes,” you lie. 
“Okay. I’m sorry. There was a fire.” He rubs your arm where he’s holding you. “I’m sorry.” 
“Will you go half?” you ask, nodding to the sandwich he’s brought you. It’s tough sourdough bread, brown with white flour on the crusts and leafy greens poking between the slices. You and Peter complain about the price. You’ve never had one. He passes you the bigger half, holding the other in his hand without eating. 
“I know you’re hungry,” you say, tapping his elbow, “just eat.” 
You eat your sandwiches. Now that Peter’s here, you don’t feel so sick —he’s not upset with you. The dull pang of an empty stomach won’t be ignored. 
Peter puts his sandwich down, which is crazy, and wipes his fingers on the plates napkin. You’ve never seen him stop before he’s done.
“It was in the apartments on Vernon. I– I think I almost died, the smoke was everywhere.” 
You choke around a crust, thrusting the rest of your half onto the plate. “Are you hurt?” you ask, coughing. 
He moves his head from side to side, not a shake, but a slow no. “How long have you known it was me?” he asks, curling his hand behind your back again, fingers spread over your shoulder blade, a fingertip on your neck. 
You savour his touch, but you give in to your apprehension and stare at his chest. “The night you caught me outside in the rain in November. You called me ‘running girl’. The way you said it, you sounded exactly like him. I turned around expecting,” —you whisper, weary of the quiet cafe— “Spider-Man, and I realised it’s him that sounds like you. That he is you.” 
“Was that disappointing?” 
“Peter, you’re, like, my favourite person in the world,” you whisper fervently, your smile making it light. You laugh. “Why would that be disappointing?” 
“I thought maybe you think he’s cooler than me.” 
“He is cooler than you, Peter.” You laugh again, pleased when he scoffs and draws you nearer. “I guess you’re the same person, right? So he’s just as cool as you are. But why would being cool matter to me? You know I like you.” 
“You flirted pretty heavily with Spider-Man.”
“Well, he flirted with me first.” 
You chance a look at his face. From that moment you can’t look away, not from Peter. You like when he wears that darkness in his eyes, the hint of his rarer side so uncommonly seen, but you love this most of all, Peter like your best memory, the way he’s looking at you now a picture perfect copy of that moment in a swimming pool in Manhattan with cracked tile under your feet. His arms heavy on your shoulders. You didn’t get it then, but you’re starting to understand now.
“I’ve made a mess of everything,” he says softly, the trail his hand makes to the small of your back leaving a wake of goosebumps. “I haven’t been honest with you.” 
“I haven’t, either.” 
“I want to ask you for something,” Peter says, a fingertip trailing back up. He smiles when you shiver, not teasing, just loving. “You can say no.” 
“You’re hard to say no to.” 
“I need you to talk to me more,” —and here he goes, Peter Parker, flirting and sweet-talking like his life depends on it, his face inching down into your space— “not just because I love your voice, or because you think so much I’m scared you’ll get lost, but I need you to talk to me. We need to talk about real things.”
We do, you think morosely. 
“It’s not your fault,” he adds, the hand that isn’t holding your back coming up to cup your cheek, “it’s mine. I was scared of telling you for stupid reasons, but I shouldn’t have let it be a secret for so long.” 
“No, I doubt they’re stupid,” you murmur, following his hand as he attempts to move it to your ear. “It’s not easy to tell someone you’re a hero.”
His palm smells like smoke. 
“That’s not the secret I meant,” he says. 
You take his hand from your face. Peter looks down and begins pressing his fingers between yours, squeezing them together as his thumb runs over the back of your hand.
“So tell me.”
The sunshine bleeds onto his cheek. Dappled orange light turning slowly white as time stretches and the sun moves up through a murky sky. “You want to trade secrets again?” he asks. 
“Please.” 
“Okay. Okay, but I don’t have as many as you do,” he warns. 
“I find that hard to believe.” 
“I don’t. It’s not a real secret, is it? I’ve been trying to show you for weeks, we…”
He tilts his head invitingly. 
All those hand-holds and nights curled up in bed together. Am I going too fast? You know exactly what he means; it really isn’t a secret.
“I’ll go first,” he says, lowering his face to yours. You try not to close your eyes. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for weeks.” He closes his eyes so you follow, your breath not your own suddenly. You hold it. Let it go hastily. “What’s your secret?” 
“Sometime I want you to kiss me so badly I can’t sleep. It makes me feel sick–”
“Sick?” he asks worriedly. 
You touch the tip of your nose to his. “It’s like– like jealousy, but…” 
“You have no one to be jealous of,” he says surely. He cups your cheek, and he asks, “Please, can I kiss you?” 
You say, “Yes,” very, very quietly, but he hears it, and his smile couldn’t be more obvious as he closes the last of the distance between you to kiss you.
It isn’t the sort of kiss that kept you up at night. Peter doesn’t hook you in or tip your head back, he kisses gently, his hand coming to live on your cheek, where it cradles. It’s so warm you don’t know what to make of him beyond kissing him back —kissing his smile, though it’s catching. Kissing the line of his Cupid’s bow as he leans down. 
“I’m sorry about everything,” he mumbles, nose flattened against yours. 
You feel sunlight on your cheek. Squinting, you turn into his hand to peer outside at the sudden abundance of it. It’s still cold outside, but the Mode is warm, Peter’s hand warmer, and the sunshine is a welcome guest. 
Peter drops his hand. “Oh, wow. December sun. Good thing it didn’t snow, we’d be blind.”
“I can’t be cold much longer,” you confess. “I’m sick of the shitty weather.” 
“I can keep you warm.” 
He smiles at you. His eyelashes tangle in the corners of his eyes, long and brown. 
“Did you want my meskouta?” you ask. 
Peter plants a fat kiss against your brow. 
You let the sunshine warm your face. Two unfinished sandwich halves, a mouthful of coffee, and a round slice of meskouta, its flaky crumb and lemon drizzle shining on the table. You would ask Peter for his camera if you’d thought he brought it with him, to take a picture of your breakfast and the carved table underneath. You could turn it on Peter, say something cheesy. This is the moment you ruined our lives, you’d tease.
“You never told me you met Spider-Man, you know.” 
You watch Peter lick the tip of his finger without shame. “They could make a novella of things I haven’t told you about,” you murmur wryly. 
Peter takes a bite of meskouta, reaching for your knee under the table. He shakes your leg a little, as if to say, Well, we’ll work on that. 
Spring
“Sorry!”
“No, it’s–”
“Sorry, sorry, I’m– shit!”
“–okay! All legs inside the ride?”
“I couldn’t find my purse–”
“You don’t need it!” Peter leans over the console to kiss your cheek. “You don’t have to rush.” 
“Are you sure you can drive this thing?” 
“Harry doesn’t mind.” 
“I don’t mean the car, I mean, are you sure you can drive?” 
“That’s not funny.” 
You grin and dart across to kiss his cheek, too. “Nothing ever is with us.” 
Peter grabs you behind the neck —which might sound rough, if he were capable of such a thing— and pulls you forward for a kiss you don’t have time for. “If we don’t check in,” —you begin, swiftly smothered by another press of his lips, his tongue a heat flirting with the seam of your lips— “by three, they said they won’t keep the room–” He clasps the back of your neck and smiles when your breath stutters. You squeeze your eyes closed, kiss him fiercely, and pull away, hand on his chest to restrain him. “And then we’ll have to drive home like losers.” 
Peter sits back in the driver's seat unbothered. He fixes his hair, and he wipes his bottom lip with his knuckle. You’re rolling your eyes when he finally returns your gaze. “Sorry, am I the one who lost her purse?” 
“Peter!” 
“I can’t make us un-late,” he says, turning the key slowly, hands on the wheel but his eyes still flitting between your eyes and your lips. 
“Alright,” you warn. 
He reaches for your knee. “It’s a forty minute drive. You’re panicking over nothing.” 
“It’s an hour.” 
Your drive from Queens to Manhattan is entirely uneventful. You keep Peter’s hand hostage on your knee, your palm atop it, the other hand wrapped around his wrist, your conversation a juxtaposition, almost lackadaisical. Peter doesn’t question your clinging nor your lazy murmurings, rubbing a circle into your knee with his thumb from Forest Hill to Lenox Hill. There’s so much to do around Manhattan; you could visit MoMA, Central Park, The Empire State Building or Times Square, but you and Peter give it all a miss for the little known Manhattan Super 8. 
It’s been a long time since you and Peter first visited. You took the bus out to Lenox Hill for a med-student tour neither of you particularly enjoyed, feeling out future careers. It’s not that Lenox Hill isn’t one of the most impressive medical facilities in New York (if not the northeastern USA), it’s that all the blood made him queasy, and you were panicking too much about the future to think it through. He got over his aversion to blood but chose the less hands-on science in the end, and you worked things through. You’re a little less scared of the future everyday. 
You and Peter were supposed to get the bus straight back home for a sleepover, but one got cancelled, another delayed, and night closed in like two hands on your neck. Peter sensed your fear and emptied his wallet for a night in the Super 8. 
The next morning it was beautifully sunny. The first day of summer that year, warm and golden. The pool wasn’t anything special but it was invitingly cool, blue and white tiles patterned like fish below; you clambered into the water in shorts and a tank top and Peter his boxers before a worker could see and stop you. 
It was one of the best days of your life. When you told Peter about it last week, he’d looked at you peculiarly, said, Bub, you’re cute, and let you waste the afternoon recounting one of your more embarrassing pangs of longing. A few days later he told you to clear your calendar for the weekend, only spilling the beans on what he’d done when you’d curled over his lap, a hand threaded into the hair at the nape of his neck, murmuring, Tell me, tell me, tell me. 
He’d hung his head over you and scrunched up his eyes. Cheater.
The best thing about having a boyfriend is that he always wants to listen to you. Peter was a good listener as a best friend, but now he has his act together and the secrets between you are never anything more than eating the last of the milk duds or not wanting to pee in front of him, he’s a treasure. There’s no feeling like having Peter pull you into his lap so he can ask about your day with his face buried in your neck, sniffing. Sometimes, when you text one another to meet up the next day, you’ll accidentally will the hours away babbling about school and life and things without reason. Peter has a list on his phone of your silliest tangents; blood oranges to the super moon, fries dipped in ice cream to the world record for kick flips done in five minutes. It’s like when you talk to one another, you can’t stop. 
There are quiet moments. You wake up some mornings to find him awake already, an arm behind you, rubbing at your soft upper arm, fingertip displacing the fine hairs there and trailing circles as he reads. He bends the pages back and holds whatever novel he’s reading at the bottom of his stomach, as though making sure you can see the words clearly, even when you’re sleeping. 
There are hectic, aching moments —vigilante boyfriends become blasé with their lives and precious faces. You’ve teetered on the edge of anxiety attacks trying to pick glass from his cheek with a tweezers, lamented over bruises that heal the next day. It’s easier when Peter’s careful, but Spider-Man isn’t careful. You ask him to take care of himself and he’s gentle with himself for a few days, but then someone needs saving from an armed burglar or a car swerves dangerously onto the sidewalk and he forgets. 
He hadn’t patrolled last night in preparation for today. 
“Did you know,” he says, pulling Harry’s borrowed car into a parking spot just in front of the Super 8 reception, “that today’s the last day of spring?” 
“Already?” 
“Tonight’s the June equinox.” 
“Who told you that?” 
“Aunt May. She said it’s time to get a summer job.” 
You laugh loudly. “Our federal loans won’t last forever.” 
“Harry’s gonna get me something, I think. Do you want to work with me? It could be fun.” 
You nod emphatically. It’s barely a thought. “Obviously I want to. Does Oscorp pay well, do you think?” 
Peter lets the engine go. The car turns off, engine ticking its last breath in the dash. “Better than the Bugle.” 
You get your key from the reception and find your room upstairs, second floor. It’s not dirty nor exceptionally clean, no mould or damp but a strange smell in the bathroom. There’s a microwave with two mugs and a few sachets of instant coffee. Peter deems it the nicest motel he’s ever stayed in, laughing, crossing the room to its only window and pulling aside the curtain. 
“There it is, sweetheart,” he says, wrapping his arm around you as you join him, “that’s what dreams are made of.” 
The blue and white tiled pool. It hasn’t changed. 
It’s about as hot as it’s going to get in June today, and, not knowing if it’ll rain tomorrow, you and Peter change into your swim suits and gather your towels. You wear flip flops and tangle your fingers, clanking and thumping down the rickety metal stairs to the pool. There’s nobody there, no lifeguard, no quests, and the pool is clean and cold when you dip your toes. 
Peter eases in first. Towels in a heap at the end of a sun lounger, his shirt tumbling to the floor, Peter splashes in frontward and turns to face you as the water laps his ribs. “It’s cold,” he says, wading for your legs, which he hugs. 
“I can feel it,” you say, the cool waters to your calves where you sit on the edge. 
“You won’t come in and warm me up?” he asks. 
You stroke a tendril of hair from his eyes. He attempts to kiss your fingers. 
“I’m trying to prepare myself.” 
“Mm, you have to get used to it.” He puts wet hands on your thighs, looking up imploringly until you lean down for a kiss. The fact that he’d want one still makes you dizzy. “Thank you,” he says. 
“You’ll have to move.” 
Peter steps back, a ripple of water ringing behind him, his hands raised. He slips them with ease under your arms and helps you down into the water, laughing at your shocked giggling —he’s so strong, the water so cold. 
Peter doesn’t often show his strength. Never to intimidate, he prefers startling you helpfully. He’ll lift you when you want to reach something too tall, or raise the bed when you’re on his side to force you sideways. 
“Oh, this is the perfect place to try the lift!” he says. 
“How will I run?” you ask, letting your knees buckle, water rushing up to your neck. 
Peter pulls you up. He touches you easily, and yet you get the sense that he’s precious with you, too. There’s devotion to be found in his hands and the specific way they cradle your back, drawing your chest to his. “I don’t need you to do a running start, sweetheart,” he says, tilting his head to the side, “I’ll just lift you.” 
“Last time I laughed so much you dropped me.” 
“Exactly, you laughed, and this is serious.” 
The world isn’t mild here. Car horns beep and tyres crunch asphalt. You can hear children, and singing, and a walkie talkie somewhere in the Super 8’s parking lot. The pool pumps gargle and Peter’s breath is half laughter as he pulls you further from the sidelines, ceramic tiles slippery under your feet. In the distance, you swear you can hear one of those songs he likes from that poor singer who died in the Wolf River. 
He’s a beholden thing in the sun; you can’t not look at him, all of him, his sculpted chest wet and glinting in the sun, his eyes like browning honey, his smile curling up, and up. 
“You’re beautiful,” he says. 
You rest an arm behind his head. “The rash guard is a good look?” 
“Sweetheart, you couldn’t look cuter,” he says, hands on your waist, pinky on your hip. “I wish you’d mentioned these shorts a few days ago. I would’ve prepared to be a more decent man.” 
“You’re decent enough, Parker.” 
“Maybe now.” 
“Well, if things get too hot, you can always take a quick dip,” you say. 
You’re teasing, but Peter’s eyes light up with mischief as he calls, “Oh, great idea!” and lets himself drop backwards into the water. You pull your arm back rather than go with him. You can’t avoid the great burst of water as he surges to the surface. 
He shakes himself off like a dog. 
“Pete!” you cry through laughs, wiping the water from your face before the chlorine gets in your eyes. 
“It just didn’t help,” he says, pulling you back into his arms, “you know, the water is cold, but you’re so hot, and I actually got a pretty good look at them when I was under, and you’re just as pretty as I remembered you being ten seconds ago–”
“Peter,” you say, tempted to roll your eyes. 
Water runs down his face in great rivers, but with the dopey smile he’s sporting, they look like anything but tears. “Tell me a secret?” he asks, dripping in sunshine, an endless summer at his back. 
A soft smile takes your lips. “No,” you say, tipping up your chin, “you tell me one first.”
“What kind of secret?” 
“A real one,” you insist. 
“Oh…” He leans away from you, though his arms stay crossed behind you. “Okay, I have one. Ask me again.” 
You raise a single brow. “Tell me a secret, Peter.” 
He pulls your face in for a kiss. His hand is wet on your cheek, but no less welcome. “I love you,” he says, kissing the skin just shy of your nose. 
You’re lucky he’s already holding you. “I love you too,” you say, gathering him to you for a hug, digging your nose into the slope of his neck as his admission blows your mind. “I love you.” 
Peter wraps his arms around your shoulders, closing his eyes against the side of your head. You can’t know what he’s thinking, but you can feel it. His hands can’t seem to stay still on your skin. 
The sun warms your back for a time. 
Peter lets out a deep breath of relief. You lean away to look at him, your hand slipping down into the water, where he finds it, his fingers circling your wrist. 
“That’s another one to let go of,” he suggests. 
He peppers a row of gentle kisses along your lips and the soft skin below your eye. 
You and Peter swim until your fingers are pruned and the sun has been blanketed by clouds. You let him wrap you in a towel, and kiss your wet ears, and take you back to the room, where he holds your face. 
“I’ll start the shower for you,” he says, rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs, each stroke of them encouraging your face from one side to the other, just a touch, ever so slightly moved in the palms of his hands. 
“Don’t fall asleep standing up,” he murmurs. 
Your eyes close unbidden to you both. “I won’t.” 
He holds you still, leaning in slowly to kiss you with the barest of pressure. Every thought in your head fades, leaving only you and Peter, and the dizziness of his touch as he lays you down at the end of the bed. 
。𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ
please like, comment or reblog if you enjoyed, i love comments and seeing what anyone reading liked about the fic is a treat —thank you for reading❤︎
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months ago
Text
Ghost King Phantom was an odd addition to the League. J’onn was often the last to find others odd but from the get-go, Phantom was the only quiet spot he’d have in his telepathic field. At first, it was off putting as most of the people that slipped beyond the reach of his immediate field tended to be villains and the like. But as Phantom remained in the Justice League, J’onn had come to learn to appreciate the calm spot in the turbulent sea of his friends’ and coworkers’ thoughts.
“You have taken to me faster than the others. Why is that?”
Phantom hummed purringly, another peculiar sound that J’onn had yet to see any of his human or alien heroes recreate with any success. They sat at their usual spot, face facing the cosmos and backs guarded by their friends. Plus, J’onn and Phantom could look directly into the sun without painfully loosing their sight.
“I guess I’ve always been fond of the stars. Of space, and everything in it. What about you? Why did we become friends so fast?”
J’onn shook his head, a human motion he’d learned a long time ago to imitate. “No, we became slower friends than most, as my telepathic abilities allow for easier communication and understanding of one another’s motives. With the exception of Batman but I have found he is often the exception to most expectations.”
“That checks out,” King Phantom laughed. “Well, I’m glad we became friends. It’s very cool to meet a Martian. Space is one of my Obsessions, you see.”
J’onn nodded. “I see. I am sorry that I am the only Martian you will meet.”
“You are?”
J’onn nodded again, slower. Sadder. His facial muscles, in this form, does not imitate human patterns well and he knew that most people could not pick out his emotions without his verbal expression.
Intuition tells J’onn that Phantom knew regardless.
“Would you mind telling me what happened?” His voice is gentle, the emotions that Phantom pushes at him are gentle and questing, but not demanding. It has been a long time since anyone has asked him of memories he clung to. And so, J’onn J’onzz speaks in the way that was natural to him, the way his people communicated.
With his mental voice flowing into Phantom’s head, J’onn tells him of the wonders that used to be his home. He provided images and sounds of how his home shone as the sun rose, how the shadows that fell when the sun dipped beneath the horizon felt as comforting as a Martian’s first telepathic cradle. He tells Phantom of his twin brother, grief and agony entwined in the memories of someone he had loved. He spoke of his wife and their daughter, and their cozy home on the windswept plains of Mars.
King Phantom sat still with him as the Watch-Tower moved along, around a king and his friend who was recounting the stagnant grief of his past.
J’onn tells him of the virus, borne of his twin’s hatred, and how he watched everything around him burn. How he had desperately tried to prevent his wife and daughter from using their telepathic abilities. He spoke of his failures. He wove together a tapestry of insanity and grief, built upon the burning bodies of his wife and their beloved daughter. He tells Phantom how the Mars now was just ashes and dust of his former home. How he could not look upon the planet and not see the shades of his wife and daughter and parents and friends, walking upon a barren planet that no longer held anything familiar to the last Martian.
Phantom had hummed again, a soothing rumble. Sadness dripped from the edges of his consciousness.
“If it was not for the Doctor, I would be dead and shattered.” J’onn spoke for the first time in three hours. “It is… less painful to live. I have purpose.”
“I am glad that you are not either of those things.” Phantom stood. “Come with me. I have to show you something.”
J’onn trusted Phantom, and thus followed the king into the glowing green portal.
They flew past many doors, Phantom often glancing at him before shaking his head and changing directions.
They stopped at a door that felt familiar. J’onn knew it from somewhere.
“Go ahead, open the door. But know that you can’t stay long. You don’t belong to this realm quite yet. Not for quite a while.” Phantom moves, hand gesturing towards the door without a knob.
“How..?”
“How else? You have telekinesis, don’t you?”
J’onn blinked. Right. He opened the door and- oh.
The door warped with the screaming storm of grief and love and oh-how-I’ve-missed-you that J’onn unleashed.
Because there in front of him were M’yri’ah and K’hym, his wife and daughter.
The door was an imitation of his home, back when he had not known true loss.
“Impossible,” he stumbled back.
“You are in the realm of the dead. You didn’t think the title of the Ghost King was for fun, did you, J’onn?” Phantom smiled and- a move J’onn would definitely engage in petty payback for, later after he’d gotten over the shock- pushed him flying right into the room.
M’yri’ah and K’hym cradled him with telepathic swirls of love and husband!-dad!-love-love-love-safe!
And J’onn shuddered and gathered the his world in his arms to say goodbye.
——
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