#(hes better than sonic. he was made to be better period. so to try to be equal of another who is inherently inferior..

[halloweenorangesoda]

is the world ready for one sided sonadow where sonics default state is being nice + enjoying competition and regards shadow as he would any threat/ally/friend, but for shadow sonic has flipped his entire world upside down

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

Alright, alright, alright! New story drop time! After working on this for several months, it's finally time.

This little beauty is a part of the awesome Sonic the Hedgehog Big Bang 2024 event that was ran by the mods over on the discord. ( @sthbigbang ).

Another huge thanks goes to the absolutely wonderful artists for their collaboration art pieces for this fic.

@vanlikespaintingclouds (X), @kkomsed (X), and @mmollymercury (X). Links will be updated!

I See Your Monsters, I’ll Chase Them All Away.

Central Characters: Shadow the Hedgehog, Maria Robotnik, Gerald Robotnik.

Summary:

In the grand scheme of things, Shadow's existence in this world was so short, so inexperienced, yet for Shadow himself, it feels like he's been here as long as everyone else.

Even keeping his best friend, Maria, happy each time they see each other and hang out started to come so naturally that he didn't question how to improve on it, he just did it and the results were better each time.

He wanted to help her, he wanted to save her from this illness, to let her visit that planet that was filled with so much wonder and beauty, something they could experience together.

He wanted to keep her safe.

But just like a fire trying its hardest to burn its last spark of embers in the darkest night to share its glow and warmth, that hope doesn't always last forever.

It's a story about the values of trust, the strength of friendship and the power of love, a story of Shadow the Hedgehog and how he was able to be the last burning ember in the darkness that fell over the entire colony. He will be the light that chases the monsters away.

——————————————————————

Chapter 1. I see you…

✧⋄⋄✧⋄⋄✧

He doesn’t tend to look back on the past too often, mostly because of what is available for him to look back on, which wasn't much.

His memories are usually hazy, out of order and hard to comprehend at times, and that was before he was aware that his own memories were altered after he was woken up.

Whenever he tries to remember those days of his past, the early days of his creation, he could never clearly remember the time where he first opened his eyes or heard sounds for the first time, only things that happened soon afterwards.

His first memories upon his creation were always a blur of images, incomprehensible to his newly born mind.

The lukewarm feeling of the water surrounding his entire body as he floated in the capsule.

The tight yet secure feeling of the mask wrapped around his muzzle that allowed him to get air that never seemed to run out.

It was a whirlwind of emotions and sensations that was overwhelming to him even though he didn’t feel scared.

The various, tall, unrecognizable figures that passed by in his field of view, staring at him with either wonder or bewilderment. Sometimes standing close up to where they talked among themselves while looking at him as if he was a bomb that was getting ready to blow if they got too close.

Humans.

They are called Humans.

Somehow he already knew that; he didn’t know how he knew this answer, but it seemed to match with how he saw them and accepted the notion.

He would tend to imagine what they were actually talking about, since all he could hear was the muffled sounds of their voices. Some were higher in pitch than others, a lot of them were deeper, which made it harder to understand them other than hearing the noise.

The duration of time was unfamiliar, he didn’t know how long a day or a week was while he was in there, only knowing that once the lights had been turned off, it was quite a long time before anyone else came back into the room.

Eventually, he did see one person that caught his eye during one of the dark periods of the day. Somebody he'd never even seen before.

A smaller human?

A child. It is a child.

Again, he already knew despite him never meeting said child before.

He saw her walk into the room, stepping in slow, careful steps; her head glancing around at the endless equipment that towered over her. Eventually her line of sight finally landed on his incubation chamber. At first he thought he was imagining things, with how still she was standing in the near pitch black darkness of the lab until she finally moved closer.

She was smaller than he originally thought, much smaller than any of the humans. She was taking small slow steps towards the capsule, staring at him with wide eyes, tilting her head as he stared back.

Her eyes were a color that he didn't recognize, they were…bright and luminated against the dim, thick liquid of his capsule. The same color was seen on her attire, covering her entire torso to her feet from what he could see.

They were hidden behind some odd, rectangular shapes resting on her face, the light from the capsule reflected off of them each time her head moved.

The one color that stood out was the even brighter color that was seen on the top of her head and was trailing over her shoulders. He couldn’t explain it but as soon as he saw it, he felt… ease. Like the color of this oddly looking mane from this tiny human suddenly made him feel comfort and didn't know the answer why.

If there even was an answer.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the human walking even closer to his capsule and started to knock lightly against the glass. His eyes locked directly onto her's, making her jump from the direct eye contact and take a step back, but not too much where he could still point out the distinct details on her face. Like the light dusting of tiny dots that was around her nose and cheeks or how the square objects on her face were constantly slipping down her nose so she kept having to push them back up towards her eyes.

She brought her balled up fists close to her chin and mouth, shrinking back and stepping backwards away from the capsule and into the shadows.

Why was she backing away? Was she apprehensive?

Or was she scared?

Or was she scared of him? He wouldn't be able to harm her from where he was, not with the thick glass separating them from each other.

Maybe she didn't know that, maybe the smaller human was scared due to how he appeared to her. He still didn’t know how his full appearance looked other than the brief times he was awake and was able to see his reflection and take note of how dark his own body looked, a stark comparison to the human’s light clothing and hair.

It was only when she started to back up more away from his capsule was when his hand began to reach out to her, he didn’t realize until his hand came in his line of focus.

The human paused, eyeing his outstretched hand and hesitating, finally stepping forward into the light once more. She stared curiously, giving a small, timid wave at him.

Raising his hand slowly, he copied her wave, earning him a smile from her and watched her cautiously when she came up close and placed both her hands against the glass.

She studied his face, tilting her head from side to side, making him unconsciously do the same. She then tilted her head to the other side, with Shadow following closely.

This brought an even wider smile from her, she continued to rock her head back and forth while he followed every move. He noticed as she was doing this, her shoulders were moving up and down, while her stomach moved in and out in a manner that looked like she was breathing rather rapidly, but she was still beaming at him in a way that didn't seem like she was in distress.

She even pressed her face up against the glass, crossing her eyes and puffing up her cheeks, creating a small fog with her mouth.

He didn't know much about humans, but they were already so confusing to understand.

The girl's head suddenly whips around, almost in alarm towards the door, making him see where she was looking right as the doors slid open to reveal another human, his silhouette was immediately recognized by the overtaking detail of the long and giant length of the hair follicles that protruded from under his nose.

It was the human that he had seen the most the moment he first opened his eyes. He still didn’t know why he always felt at ease whenever he was around; perhaps it was the way he didn't react to him in a manner the other humans did, more-so bringing a calmer, comforting aura to him whenever he approached the chamber during each visit.

The same aura this child was carrying as well.

The taller human walked over to where she was, taking a quick glance at him through the glass before kneeling down next to the smaller human, saying something to her that he wasn’t able to pick up due to how softly he was talking.

A few moments passed, where the girl nodded her head, her shoulders slumping down and looking at the floor. The man's face softened as he gave her a gentle head pat, got up to his full height and reached out his hand to her.

The girl took it and the two started towards the door. Shadow could feel a sudden wave wash over his body, growing more and more each second as they got farther away.

He didn't want them to leave, he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to follow them outside this tank, to move his legs and arms and not have them be bumped against the glass. To hear their voices clearly and remember the words that they say and hold onto each one in his memory.

The girl waved her hand at him again, her eyes locking once again with his and her mouth moving as if she was saying something to him.

Even though it was during the moment right as the doors closed behind them, he had been able to distinguish certain words that they would repeat around him.

“Bye.”

Though, he could only hope that this was less of a “bye”, but more of a “see you again”.

For the first time, he really hopes that he will be able to see her again.

All he can do now is wait.

———————————

Read the rest of the story here!

[sonicjustbecause]

After two years in the Sonic fandom (for the third time)

Actually, nothing in the past made me leave the sonic fandom, I gust got caught in other fandoms (the first time after Sonic I started to follow Sailor Moon, the second time it was WWE wrestling.

I guess right now this is my most serious time in Sonic fandom :D.

I learned a bit about fans and Sega itself. The worst disservice you do to yourself is being a purist. SoJ purist, SoA purist, Adventure Purist etc...

Yes, I may sound sometimes like a SA2 purist seeing the reaction of those that try to interact with me, I admit that, is my favourite period. But I like to explore and just choose what I like and ignore what I dislike. No close mind otherwise I might miss something that might be not so bad, especially I would not have fun.

(Sonic Boom is pretty stupid but I had a lot of fun by watching it, I found myself laughing).

It may be overall awkward, but I love the facial expressions. And the models look so smooth.

The issue with being a purist is that, I said it previously in other posts, you will end to not appreciate Sonic anymore. Not even what comes from your side. I saw on youtube how it ends. Fukurou Hoseki, Pariah695, they left the fandom because the Sonic they loved was since long gone, or perhaps he was never there. Anyway Sonic was becoming more and more a source of pain for them. I never followed Pariah695 properly but I used to follow Fukorou Hoseki and I was quite there when she left.

Now I hope it not will end the same with two artist that I like and that happen to be purists. One of them unfortunately is leaning on this direction, he complained more about the new Sonic stuffs and his latest works are rather uninspired. Is unfortunate because I love his works, they're so lovely (he is even a fan VA and his voice is great for Sonic).

Conspiracy theories.

A consipacy theory that run among purists see the evil SoA on one side that never respects what SoJ does.

If that was true, why then SoJ and SoA keep working togheter? It was SEGA who hired, as Sonic writer, Penters, Pontac, Graff and ultimately Flynn. And it was SoJ who followed the English VA, who told David Humphrey who Shadow was and how he was supposed to talk and Ryan Drummond's 'Teriaaaaa!' line (The line was also in Japanese).

The mandates were loosened (luckily) exactly because fans hated them.

Sonic is a SEGA mascot/character, is not a single person's character and it changes accordingly to what the majority of fandom likes/except and accordingly to the 'hystorical' period. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. SEGA, or at least Sonic Team tends to listen to fans more than other companies.

The voice of fans.

In the 2000's, fans called Shadow an emo. Official material often describled him as 'clever' 'silent' and 'distressed' but he was, overall a flexible character to work with. Fanarts and meme of Shadow doing self harm or saying openly he wished to die weren't so rare.

Shadow truly ended up to having suicidal though/ideation (although he was pretty much suicidal even before) and to do invisible self harm (having him doing physical self harm would be too much). Original Shadow had his moments, but he looked at life with a hint of hope.

Shadow's invisible self harm and suicidal ideation in official material, and it's consecuences.

Popularity.

The reason Sonic is not so popular in Japan is because of the design of the character. in Japan, cute/plushy characters are more popular. And also, in Japan human characters are more popular than humanized beasts. In the west and other places the thing is more balanced. I guess the Gijinka trend is a bit linked to this (Not all people that draw gijinkas are Japanese but they seems to have a more Japanese/like tastes. for myself I can say I always disliked the cartoon four fingers hand and prefer the 5 fingers hand even in cartoon characters, but I'm not a fan of gijinkas.

This is what Japaneses mean with 'Furry' or 'Anthro'.

This is what the West means, with characters having only four fingers in their hand.

Sonic borrows a lot from early Disney. Well, at least they have 5 fingers in their hand. The blobby fingerless feet come from Mickey Mouse (and I hate them, honestly).

Many purists think Sonic is hated in Japan. That's not true. Is just it doesn't meet average Japanese tastes but the fans are there too. And the fandom is active.

(This was in 2005 and so, but surely the artist is Japanese and did some nice arts. You can find more recent art by Japanese artists on Pinterest)

Chili dogs appeared first in Sonic SatAM (Italy/USA)

Maekawa brought them in Japan because he though it was a nice touch.

My issues with lines comparision

One thing I noticed from fans that compare the lines is that they take a single Japanese line and share. I see a lot of focus on the line alone and not on what is around or where it comes from.

They might be worded differently, but, at least to me, the overall message doesn't change. Perhaps I'm looking at the big picture. I always did when I watched anime, both in Italian and in Japanese.

My question is the likes of: 'What Shadow is trying to say? What he does means?' and not 'How does he say this?'.

Might be my cultural background. It matters.

Southern/Western Europe, (France, Italy, Spain ect...) Asia, Africa and latin America have a higher context culture. North and central Europe (example Switzerland, England, Scandinavia), North America are lower context to they might be more sensitive to changes.

If Ian Flynn is so verbose while Shiro Maekawa is way more subtle, is exactly because of their cultural background. Higher context culture put words in relation to space, what is happening and what happened before. Lover context culture focus especially on words on their own. Don't you think in the first picture you virtually only need what's written in the balloons while in the second picture you start to look more or at least ask for the rest to find clues about what's going on?

Pretty much i'm enjoying Sonic. I don't enjoy everything of course,there are things I like and things (such as the IDW comics) that I dislike. I would also suggest to look at what the fandom does, there are nice stuffs.

I honestly do not worry much about canon/non canon since is something that keeps changing.

[whisker-biscuit]

Sonic Big Bang 2024

Close Encounters of the Grim Kind: Chapter 2

---------------------------------

Tails stared at the device in his hands for a long time, just rereading the odd message over and over as if it could untangle the mysteries of the universe. It hadn’t been built to return on its own. There hadn’t even been a way for him to call it back to Green Hill once it had been set loose. He had made it for the sole purpose of collecting data beyond what he could access himself; a one-way trip reminiscent of the earliest satellites shot into space.

After nearly a full minute passed, he realized that checking the data logs would probably give at least some kind of answer to the first mystery. The fox opened the tiny outlet protector under its base and went hunting for the corresponding cord that would hook it up to his computer. Before he connected them, however, a more concerning thought occurred that made him pause.

How had his “hello world” message been changed? Who had changed it? Tails knew for a fact that the only person smart enough to make sense of his tech without tearing it apart was Eggman, and Eggman would have torn it apart anyway just on principle. If the mad doctor had somehow gotten ahold of this device, realized who it belonged to and what it was for, then its return could be indicative of a trap. There was no telling what kind of virus or spyware or any other kind of nasty cyberattack might be uploaded to the fox’s servers if he carelessly connected it.

Subtlety was not Eggman’s strongest suit by a long shot, but Tails wasn’t about to give him an easy chance at infiltration if he was trying a different tactic for once. Instead, he pulled out his Miles Electric to begin scanning the device. The “device.” He really needed to come up with a proper name for it since it seemed to be a more permanent part of his workshop than he’d first expected.

It came away clean, which only eased his worries a little bit – if Eggman had tampered with it, then at least the fox would have gotten some answers. Now he was just back at square one. With pursed lips and apprehension in his stomach, he attached the probe to his computer and watched the pop-up appear asking to sync its contents.

Now or never. Tails clicked ‘yes’.

At first, nothing came up out of the ordinary as data flashed across his screen beyond what he’d originally been aiming to achieve. The device had traveled at a rate slightly faster than the speed of light, helped by the power from the Paradox Prism. It had also made periodic “blips” – for lack of a better word – where it had seemingly jolted farther forward in its intended path than should have been possible even with its incredible speed, and often into a new, completely random set of coordinates. Tails suspected it was a kind of teleportation similar to how Sonic had described his own travels between the mini dimensions when he’d picked up enough speed.

None of the coordinates the probe recorded made sense on a three-dimensional plane, which Tails greatly hoped was evidence of the Shatterverse still existing instead of his tech being faulty. The device had to have gone somewhere for the week and a half it had been traveling so fast, right?

Just as the fox was about to stand up from his computer chair to take a quick snack break, the data fluctuated dramatically. The probe had done another “blip” through space into a new set of coordinates, and then suddenly its speed had come to a grinding halt. No movement, no more blips, no change in position or anything. It had still been active; it just...wasn’t moving.

Almost as if something had caught it.

Intrigued and mildly concerned, he studied the screen for any deviance from this strange new turn of events. The device had remained trapped in limbo for a lengthy period of time – almost as long as the entire section of travel it had recorded beforehand. Tails cursed himself for not adding some kind of time-keeper to its data log. He’d thought it would send him information in real time, not delayed like this, and now he had no way of telling when exactly the probe had been halted nor for how long it stayed that way.

Then, just as suddenly as it had stopped, the device had gone right back to traveling again. It gave up a string of coordinates that looked vaguely familiar and, when Tails checked, it became obvious that the probe had come back – or been sent back – on the exact path it had used to get as far as it had. That meant that whoever had encountered it had either the tech or the intelligence to handle its speed and keep it immobilized, and then figured out how to return it to its original sender.

An alternate Eggman, or an alternate Tails. Those were the only two possible explanations unless Sonic had neglected to mention a sudden technological genius cropping up within the other versions of their friend group. Without unplugging the cable connecting the probe to his computer, the fox picked it up again to stare at what was now very obviously an attempt at contact. It by itself wasn’t enough of a clue to determine the identity of the mystery sender, but he began to break down the possibilities anyway.

If an Eggman had been the one to grab the device, normally their response should have been to toss it, break it, or use it for their own purposes. But he remembered his brother talking about the teenaged-Eggman who was obsessed with gaming; if that version had picked it up, he might have returned it as some kind of twisted parry at a potential opponent. That, or just someone else to conquer once he had their location nailed down.

But there hadn’t been any malware in the probe. The interdimensional coordinates to Green Hill would have been easy to find for anyone smart enough to send it back, but without the Paradox Prism, the probe was likely the only thing they could send at all. If this was an Eggman’s doing, the fox still had the upper hand on that basis alone.

If it were another Tails, though…the long gap of nothingness in the device’s log made sense. They’d probably immobilized it to make sure it wasn’t dangerous, which is what he would have done. Returning it also made sense if they recognized their own technical prowess; they might even have been researching the exact same thing the Tails of Green Hill was, and found this to be a fortuitous shortcut for it.

Whichever way the pendulum swung, getting into contact with this mystery person was more beneficial than anything else. He just had to be cautious about how he went about it.

The fox ran his fingers along the seams in the metal of the device and gently removed the cover hiding the miniature keyboard. He deleted the message, then typed up a few new ones after a few moments of deliberation.

– Hello! –

– I’m researching the existence of alternate dimensions –

– Will you help me? –

While recharging the probe’s battery and running one quick diagnostic check for damage, Tails adjusted its programming by a brief margin. Instead of wandering aimlessly until it died or was destroyed, the device now had a set destination – the coordinates it had reached the moment it had been physically stopped. He paused, thumb hovering over the switch to get it going, then shook his head and flipped it before he could psyche himself out.

The probe hummed to life and hovered in the air before disappearing, just like before. Tails blinked the afterimage out of his head and leaned back in his seat. Sonic always said the best things in life were worth the risk. Whether this ended up being one of them remained to be seen, but he was going to be optimistic about it. There was nothing else he really could do, after all.

Well, that wasn’t quite true. He still had one other source for info, but he doubted Shadow was going to give up anything else. The deal they’d made was as sparse as it was for a reason, even if the hedgehog refused to say what that reason was.

And technically, he wasn’t the only one Tails could turn to. It was just a matter of getting his brother to tell the truth…or admit anything at all.

As if on cue, the sound of his workshop door opening was the only warning the fox had before a burst of wind ruffled his fur. He swiveled in his chair just in time to catch the tail end of a blue steak zipping up the stairs to the second floor.

It was pretty common for Sonic to take afternoon naps on the roof. Whether he chose to get there from the inside or the outside was a coin toss; lately, though, he’d almost always taken the route through the workshop itself, and Tails suspected it was related to his recent clinginess. Confirming the fox was around without bothering him was likely the cause of this oddly predictable behavior.

Tails stepped outside and flew upwards, unsurprised to find the hedgehog sprawled across the roof with his hands behind his head and one foot perched across the other knee. His half-lidded eyes had been lazily tracking the clouds in the sky, but they moved towards Tails at the sound of his aerial approach.

“Hey, Sonic,” he began, landing gently next to his brother so they could watch the sky together. “Can I ask you something about the Shatterverse?”

Sonic pulled one hand free of his quills to scratch the fur on his chest. “Sure. Shoot.”

“What were the other ‘Me’s like?”

“Honestly? They were pretty different from each other. The only thing they really had in common was being super smart, but it came out in different ways. Sails – the, uh, Pirate-You – was probably the closest to how you act. ‘Cept for the accent and the obsession with treasure.”

“Huh…”

The hedgehog gave him a sideways glance and a smile. “Of course, I would never compare them to the real deal. My best friend is perfect the way he is, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“That’s not why I –” Tails stopped himself with a grimace.

If Sonic thought he was asking because he was insecure, he might be willing to share more about those counterparts to ease his little brother’s mind than for any other reason. It wasn’t deception to let him think that way for a bit longer, right?

“…I’d still like to know about them,” he mumbled, averting his eyes to avoid seeing the growing crease in the hedgehog’s brow. “What did you mean about their intelligence? How was it different from each other’s?”

“Hm, well, I’m probably going to get a lot of concepts wrong, so bear with me. Basically…”

So, they laid together on the roof as Sonic described each of Tails’ counterparts and what they were capable of when it came to technology. He learned about Sails, who did maintenance on the pirate ship and had made a bomb in record time in the middle of a war zone. He learned about Mangey, who had helped Sails commandeer a giant robot and had increased the Chaos Council’s power output with just a few curious button presses. He learned about Nine, who had created multiple augmented tails to match his name and had single handedly figured out how to reform the shards of the Paradox Prism despite its incredibly unstable energy.

The fox listened with rapt attention. Every detail he turned over in his head, trying to determine whether it matched to the message he had received. His careful, vague questions eventually moved onto the alternate Eggmen, and his mental analysis was repeated all over again while his brother chatted away. It had been some time since they’d last done this, he eventually realized – Sonic reminiscing about an adventure as Tails worked through a dilemma that only he could solve. At least, it had been some time since it had been just the two of them.

Sonic seemed to realize it, too, because he trailed off after complaining about Dr. Deep’s “stupid katanas” and closed his eyes with a giant, contented sigh.

“Man, nothing beats this kinda life,” he said after a solid minute of comfortable silence. “Thwarting megalomaniacs and giving my legs a good workout are great, but having the downtime just to soak up some sun and hang out with my best bud is a luxury I’ll never take for granted.”

“Me, neither.” Tails paused, then turned onto his side so he was facing his brother. He chose his next words very carefully. “I’ve been meaning to ask…are you doing alright? Ever since we stopped Eggman from taking the Paradox Prism, you’ve been acting a little different.”

Sonic shifted in place. It would have been a perfectly nonchalant thing for him to do if not for the way he suddenly opened his eyes or how they darted towards Tails for a brief second before returning to the sky.

“I know you dealt with a lot in the Shatterverse, and you didn’t have us to back you up like you usually would,” the fox continued quickly before any shut-downs could be made. “And I know how happy you are about everything being back to normal. But just because we’re okay doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be.”

“…Heh. Thought I was being careful. Should’ve known nothing gets past you.”

“Never.”

The hedgehog sighed – this one a little more weighted than the last. He drummed his fingers on his chest, seemingly deep in thought, and Tails waited for him to reach a conclusion to his inner conflict.

“I’m mostly just worried about those other dimensions and how they’re all doing. We repaired the damage, and they all seemed to stay existing when the Paradox Prism got put back together, but there’s no way to really know. I was so relieved to get back home, that I didn’t really stop and think about how I left things until it sunk in that I was really in Green Hill with all of you again.”

“Not really sure about that last part, considering how clingy you’ve been the last few weeks.”

It hadn’t meant to be said loud enough for Sonic to hear, but he only huffed out a laugh. “That bad, huh? I’m shocked you waited this long to confront me about it.”

Now it was Tails’ turn to shift uncomfortably. “I was a little preoccupied myself. But I’m here now, and I want to make sure you know I’ll help you with anything.”

“Appreciate it, buddy, but unless you can somehow convince Shadow to lend me the Paradox Prism to check how they’re all doing out there, then we’re both outta luck. I’ll just have to assume the best and trust that the folks who helped me come back are okay.”

The fox opened his mouth, ready to tell his brother about his probe and the connection he’d made…and then closed it without saying a word. Shadow’s warning not to involve Sonic flashed across his mind. There was no way he wouldn’t learn about it somehow if Tails went back on his word, and then he’d take back the tenuous access to the other dimensions he’d given the young scientist.

Lying by omission was still a lie; he felt sick to his stomach at the sight of the hedgehog’s face clouded with worry, knowing he could potentially relieve it but choosing not to. He resolved immediately that no matter who this mystery person was – a Tails or an Eggman or even a Chao – that he would give them the benefit of the doubt for Sonic’s sake. The sooner he confirmed the dimensions were safe and their alternate selves thriving, the sooner he could declare his research finished, end the terms he’d set with Shadow, and tell Sonic exactly what he’d been doing and what he had found.

Even the possibility of working with Eggman would be worth the reassurance he could give to his brother.

When Sonic finally began to doze off, Tails crept off the roof and back into his workshop. He found a blank notepad and began creating a list of names.

• Sails • Nine • Mangey • Dr. Don’t • Mr. Dr. Eggman (?)

Next, he created columns alongside each in order to write down the notes he’d compiled in his head. Behavior that made sense for someone who might tamper with an interdimensional probe specifically to return it to its sender. Mangey, he crossed out within five minutes. From what Sonic had described, the jungle fox couldn’t or didn’t communicate with his companions in a way that would make sense to Tails. It didn’t mean that he wasn’t intelligent; it was just considerably less likely that he would recognize the written form of the language Tails had used for his keyboard. In some ways, linguistics could be more of a headache to decipher than complex calculus.

Unfortunately, almost everyone else still had logical potential for being his mystery pen-pal. He’d even added Mr. Dr. Eggman after hearing Sonic grumble about how much of a schemer he was compared to the rest of the Chaos Council. The one solace the fox had was that his own identity was most likely just as obscured. Unless someone somehow had Green Hill’s interdimensional coordinates memorized – virtually impossible, based on the short time frame that the Shatterverse had supposedly existed for – then he had nothing to fear. He just had to play it safe, stick to studying the dimensions, and keep Sonic out of it until he was done.

---------------------------------

The next day, Tails woke up to the probe sitting on his desk where it hadn’t been the night before. He practically sprinted to check on it, excited to see what the response would be, and felt a mix of enthusiasm and frustration over what he saw.

[ i will help on one condition ]

[ dont ask who i am and i wont ask who you are ]

[ this is purely a research venture, nothing else ]

Drat. That was half of his questions immediately nixed. The paranoia made him want to lean towards this being an Eggman, but the lack of interest in who he was threw a wrench in things, again. He sighed, tamping down the disappointment as much as he could, and focused instead on his excitement. Here was someone who was either proof that the Shatterverse was still intact, or at the very least was willing to help him examine the current state of things.

This endeavor was a resounding success! …So far.

Just as Tails began to draft an eager response, the device suddenly let out a series of beeps before the screen went completely dark. He panicked for all of two seconds until realizing that the probe wasn’t dead, simply out of power – it seemed the tiny smidge of Paradox Prism energy had finally been burned through after nearly two weeks. It was an impressive battery life; he could certainly see why Eggman and all his other versions had been so dead-set on getting their hands on it.

Luckily, Shadow had given him a number to call before they’d parted ways, and he picked up fairly promptly when the fox called.

“Yes?”

“My probe came back, but it’s out of energy. Do you think you could bring the Paradox Prism to my workshop so I can get it running?”

Instead of a normal response like a solid yes-or-no answer, Shadow hung up. Tails stared at his cellphone, dumbfounded, until the open center space of the room warped in a single blink. Shadow stood there, holding the neutralizing container the fox had given him to keep the prism undetectable from prying eyes.

“Um, thanks.”

“This is simply part of our agreement,” the hedgehog stated, flat as could be, while he unpacked the giant crystal. He raised an expectant eyebrow at Tails, who handed him the probe without hesitation.

The Paradox Prism glowed a little brighter the moment the device made contact with it. They both watched it recharge quietly for a while.

“Have you learned anything?” Shadow eventually asked.

“Well, it definitely worked. The probe gave me coordinates for its travel path that could only be mathematically possible through quantum physics. I don’t know if it actually visited any other dimensions, though, or if it just remained whatever void space exists between them.”

“Hm.”

The hedgehog pulled the probe away from the crystal when it made an affirmative ‘ding’ to signal it was at full power again. He rolled it almost idly between his hands as he stared at the prism, seemingly lost in thought.

“Shadow? Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I was just thinking back to being trapped in that void while Sonic was gallivanting through the different dimensions as he pleased.” He looked and sounded like he’d just tasted something incredibly sour. “I don’t plan on experiencing that again any time soon, so I expect you to remain careful when dealing with this energy.”

“Of course. I’d never abuse power like that.”

“Good.” Shadow offered the device, and Tails held out his own hands. Before they made the exchange, though, the hedgehog paused. “Was there anything else you learned? Anything about the state of the other dimensions or its inhabitants?”

Tails didn’t know why he didn’t immediately say yes. There wasn’t any reason to lie; he’d even promised Shadow that he’d keep him updated. If ever there was a time to talk about the mysterious messages, it was now.

And yet…

He thought back to Sonic’s troubled expression and the confession he’d made. He thought back to Shadow, two weeks ago, making it very clear he wouldn’t offer support for anything other than a basic survey job.

“No.” Tails looked him dead in the eye, feeling something cold prickle at the base of his neck. “There was nothing else.”

[unholyverse]

waterparks // rock sound awards 2021

(full text under the cut)

WATERPARKS

CLASS OF 2021 ARTIST OF THE YEAR

WORDS: JAMES WILSON-TAYLOR PHOTOS: JAWN ROCHA

Another album, another lap around the world…another year that very much felt like it belonged to Waterparks. Their exponential growth continued this year with a new label deal and their latest and absolutely greatest record.

They began 2021 in isolation putting the finishing touches to 'Greatest Hits', and end it off the back of a triumphant, huge North American tour, by way of big, big festival slots and the realisation of more ideas than even they might have thought possible.

Here, Awsten Knight looks back on the journey he and his bandmates Geoff Wigington and Otto Wood have been on over the past 12 months, and faces towards the future.

How has your 2021 been, Awsten? It seems like a lot of bands have understandably found this year to be way more productive than last…

"It's better, but it's been equally productive. In 2020 I still made over 100 songs. Still recorded all of 'Greatest Hits'—it was pretty much done by January—made the DVD, 'FANDOM: LIVE IN THE UK'… that took like, five or six months. Yeah, 2020 was still super productive and then obviously this year…album release, making a million more videos, playing shows. That's why I say it's equal."

Was there any transitional period for you, or were you just straight into work mode?

"It never stopped. And I'm not saying this is necessarily a good thing, but I just can't stop working. It's very hard for me to stop. Sometimes I actively try to just because, but I feel like I just operate better if I'm working on things. The thing is, at least if we are out doing shows, I'm not writing songs because of it. But last year I didn't have an excuse."

'Greatest Hits' was of course released this year. You've talked before about wanting to better yourself with each album, but what's interesting is it feels like the leaps between each record are now getting bigger too…

"I'm very about smooth transitions between stylistic stages. It feels very inorganic if somebody has screamo, alternative rock and then they try and go full pop. It's like you didn't do it naturally, so it feels disingenuous. I also think that I was more impatient being stuck at home. And on top of that, since I had more time to create and just make weird sounds and demo things out, I got to learn a lot and hit a lot of things that I wouldn't have necessarily found so soon. So I think it's a combination of those things. This gave a lot of time for me to find the most weird, left of centre, out of pocket stuff. I can't tell you how many Halloween sounds I went through making 'See You In The Future'. Sorry, 'See You In In The Future."

It's funny hearing you talk about acts earning that change in sound. It's like you are world-building but it's about the musical sounds rather than characters or stories…

"Yeah, and wanting to make as many different styles as you can. Because when it stops being fun or fresh or exciting, I don't wanna do it. Touring itself is very fun and rewarding, but it can also get monotonous. So if you are not pushing the boundaries everywhere you can, whether its sonically or show production or whatever… I mean, you see how easily I get distracted. I won't want to do it if it's not fun. You know who has got the best transition between that I think I've ever seen? Like, as far as musical styles go as a band? Bring Me The Horizon. I know where they started and watching them go to 'That's The Spirit' and even the stuff they are putting out right now… it changes style-wise so much. Not only is it consistent, but it changes and I think thats awesome. Not a lot of bands are willing to do that in case it feels like they are putting on somebody else's clothes. But they've done it in a very smooth way."

"WHEN IT STOPS BEING FUN OR FRESH OR EXCITING, I DON'T WANNA DO IT"

"I THINK BEING ALONE ALL THE TIME MADE ME WANT TO COLLABORATE MORE…"

Was there anything specific on 'FANDOM' that you wanted to improve on or push further this time around?

"I don't wanna compare songs especially because if you compare old things to new things, just because of how nostalgia works, it'll never compare until more time has gone by. But if I can sit down and look at 'Numb' vs 'Watch What Happens Next… They're both cool, they both have interesting pre-choruses in very different ways. One of them is more drawly, very minimal and then the other is a little hip-hoppy but more in a Beastie Boys kind of way. Then that outro is from hell, just crazy. I love the vocal patterns in it, in the b-section. And then I'll look at 'Watch What Happens Next' and compare those patterns. I look at things like that. What stuff got added in that's special? What are the special elements that aren't just guitar, bass, drums? I compare stuff like that a lot. Some songs are written where it's like, 'This one will have a pit'. Some songs it's like, 'This is for people who don't even fuck with us, but it has such a groove'. Or, 'This one is a dark 'Life Of Pablo'-type production that's dark and evil but expensive-sounding'. There's just certain things I wanted to accomplish and especially at that time, during recording, being stuck at home, I needed to do what's going to make me feel fulfilled right now."

You seem to be in a very collaborative mood too with the guests on the album and then things outside the album like the track you did with DE'WAYNE. Is that collaborative spirit something you are becoming more open to?

"Yes, definitely. I think being alone all the time made me want to collaborate more. And then also I feel like, and I hope this comes off okay… as good as I feel like I am at writing and production and finding creative ways to do things, I know that other people are so much better than me at other things. I don't wanna be the fucking best in the room at everything, because then why am I in this room? When I gave 'Crying Over It All' to Zeph, I didn't give very much instruction. I was like, 'Just add harmonies, do your thing, pretty freeform, just go for it'. Because when I listen to her stuff, she'd always send me demos or even on her Instagram stories she'll post the acapellas of stuff she is working on. There's like twenty layers of vocals and they are doing these random swells and all this cool shit and I'm just like, 'Woah, that's insane'. So when she sent back all of the vocals for that, it was the same kind of thing. And that's not something I would have thought of. It's no longer me sitting at this desk right here working on 'Double Dare' or 'Entertainment. I think you can only go so far alone and if you happen to have friends and people you like around you who are incredible at other things, I don't see why you wouldn't collab with them. At the end of the day, all I want is the best album in the world."

It felt like that spirit of collaboration had disappeared in the scene for a while but is now coming back around again, which is great because, like you say, everyone benefits from that…

"Yeah that's totally true. And at least for me, I felt like I had something to prove, especially early on. Because we did… we had a lot to prove. But I think, maybe in an ego sense, or I don't know what it was, but I took a lot of pride in it. We'd meet people in other bands who were bigger than us and they'd go, 'Is it true that you had no co-writes or people working on this or anything?' But in the grand scheme of things, we're not shit. In the world of music, most people don't even know we exist. But I feel like that thing - that weird alternative music mindset. Some, 'Us against the world, got to prove yourself' type of shit - I don't really have that anymore. And I'm glad, because it's not productive, it's not helpful, it's not gonna make you have a better album. I feel like alternative music, as stubborn as everybody is, I think they are probably seeing how good collabs are in hip-hop, or how Spotify works and are like, 'Oh shit, we should do that"." You've always talked about personal stuff within your lyrics but it feels like on 'Greatest Hits', you were a lot more open and direct.

What do you think has changed in your approach to lyrics?

"I think there's multiple reasons for it. I think most people just don't look that deep into stuff and I want them to know what I'm talking about. 'Entertainment… that whole fucking album is metaphors. The whole thing. And I think with stuff like 'Turbulent', that was in a way more cathartic. This isn't an objective truth or anything, this is just for me, but I think it's more cathartic to be blunt. And thats not to say metaphors or keeping things poetic isn't good. I want to still use metaphors, part of me wants to lean a little more on that. There's just something very cathartic about just saying it. 'LIKE IT'… just getting to talk shit for verses and I had even more verses written but I just wanted it to be like a punk song. A very grungy, punk kind of thing. It was just more of a release. People that are very into the band will look more deep into things but sometimes I just want someone who hears ten seconds on Tik Tok to know what the fuck I'm talking about. Lyrically, I didn't want to waste any time, I just wanted to get to it."

'Double Dare' celebrated its fifth anniversary this year. Is there anything about the creative process back then that still applies to how you work now?

"Honestly, it's the same. Sit down, laptop, guitar, keyboard, bass, mic. Shut everything out, start making shit. What is made has changed, but the process is the same."

Is there anything you wish you knew back then that you know now?

"All I would do if I could go back is just give them a mixing budget. Because I wouldn't change anything. I like some of the songs more than others but I still think they should all exist. We made the whole album for like, $10,000. Some people might hear that and think it's a lot, but it's not. For making an album, especially on a label, thats nothing. If we could get a Zakk Cervini mix, like a remix…"

When it came to the live show, this tour seems to match this new era in feel. How did you approach bringing 'Greatest Hits' to the stage?

"We went through a lot of different stages with the production. This was the first idea - I want it to make it look like thunder if we want to, make it really dark and moody, no lights around us just silhouettes and bits of lightning, because it's just a full cloud wall, so we can be in a storm like we are going to die or it can glow gold like we are in heaven, or like a sunset. Somebody actually asked me at a Q&A the other day about the symbolism of the doors onstage and I think being in my apartment so much for that long, I was always just looking at them. It felt right to bring the three doors hovering in the clouds. We had the red, yellow and blue bikes because that was my only escape during it. I could come up with crazy production all day, but you also have to take into consideration the rooms you are doing. Is it indoor, outdoor, 500 people, 2,000 people…You base these things on that. What can work in different ways. I think it's the most fitting and conceptually it's probably the best pairing we could have had visually with this album. But some day I think it would be so cool, when we get to do those fucking arena shows, to collab with someone who has done it a million times. The first time or two around, you don't understand the capabilities of what can and can't be done. You don't know what your limits are, so you just kind of be safe. So I'm excited to eventually start collabing with someone on that."

As things get bigger, it feels like the rooms are starting to match your ambition. Is there a pressure to scale things up?

"There's not really a pressure. I just don't think about it like that. The other night, and this hasn't happened in forever, but right before going on I had this weird moment where I felt like I'd re-entered my body. They were already playing 'Greatest Hits' and the first song is about to start and I felt like I'd re-entered. I glanced at the audience and thought, 'Oh god'. Fucking freaked out. Like, 'What the fuck am I doing?' I say that because the best thing you can do is not think. If you just show up and do it, cool shit gets done. If you think about it, if you analyse it, you psych yourself out."

"I NEEDED TO DO WHAT'S GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL FULFILLED RIGHT NOW"

"SOMETIMES I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO HEARS TEN SECONDS ON TIKTOK TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT"

It was also great to see you be joined again by Mikey Way during this tour…

"I know man, that was so cool. We're always talking about when we can do stuff because he loves playing shows and he fucks with Waterparks and stuff which is so crazy. I was in Nashville a month before the tour and we hung out and got dinner, and he's like, 'Dude, I wanna play one of these shows'. And he's gonna be in Nashville so I'm like, 'How about Nashville? And anything else you wanna do'. And he's like, 'Definitely Nashville and I'd love to do more'. I was like, 'You let me know what you wanna play and we'll switch up the set after'. That was so fun. He is one of the nicest fucking people in this world. He's in the biggest rock band in the world and does not act like it. He's so humble and so nice. He's just a good dude."

Looking forward, what do you think are the biggest things you learned in the process of making 'Greatest Hits"?

"I definitely don't wanna talk too much, especially as I don't know way too much, but I think that the one drawback that I've had with 'Greatest Hits'… it's not even a drawback with 'Greatest Hits', it's just the way in which it was consumed. I think that because it's so long, and not even long runtime wise… It's just that 17 tracks is intimidating to some, especially if you are not a diehard listener. I think some songs got overlooked, or under-appreciated. There are certain ones where I wonder how long it's gonna stay underrated. The production on 'See You In The Future' is fucking insane but its not even in the top seven of the most listened to. Or 'Magnetic'. Or 'Crying Over It All' is I think one of the best songs Waterparks has ever put out. They just get overlooked. 'American Graffiti', I kind of made that song as I was frustrated one night at how dogshit a lot of alt rock stuff that was coming out at the time was. I was just like, 'This is so uninspired, I'm just gonna make the way fucking cooler version of what these people are trying to do. I'm gonna do the perfect mix of Jimmy Eat World and Death Cab and all these people. And then just throw in some real wild production'. That outro is so fucking pretty. I feel like a lot of those get overlooked because theres so much. And there's a lot we can't put in the set because it's literally 17 songs. We're already playing for an hour and a half every night, which is a lot. We're not playing six of the songs because theres not even time. What I'm getting at is, the next album will probably be more…I don't wanna say concise, because it's not like 'Greatest Hits' isn't. It definitely goes on more tangents because that was the point. But it'll probably be shorter."

It certainly feels like alt.rock is the place where the album is king. In hip-hop you can release singles all the time, EPs, whatever you want. Is that something you've thought about in terms of release structure?

"I'm cool with singles. I don't really wanna do EPs anymore. Mainly because I'd rather just do four singles or release them as a pair. Because then if somebody hates one, they'll probably like the other. But I think that I would probably just do singles or pairings then drop another album."

What is on the to-do list for 2022?

"We are coming to Europe. We've got some more shows that we are gonna announce soon. Some places we've never been before. We've locked in support, haven't announced it yet but its gonna be very cool. We're playing that London show—insane. I wish I could say more. It's gonna be a good year."

Waterparks' latest album 'Greatest Hits' is out now via 300 Entertainment. They're due to tour the UK next summer.

[spiderman616]

Indulging in ur request to discuss Archie: I thought Ian Flynn mostly just smoothed out bumps in the writing of the comic until he started being forced to make it closer to the games— he seemed like a huge Archie fan bc he would constantly slip in obscure shit from old issues or use old plot points, but he did like the games too so there was some shit used there which is fair. Although to be honest the show Archie was based on, SATAM, was more similar to the games than even the comics ended up being after it got past that initial period of newspaper strip continuity. Not trying to suck up to him bc there were plenty of past writers I really enjoyed as well, and I think Ian had some greenness to his writing at first that he’s kind of grown out of that went in directions that weren’t so great in Archie. I think back when I read Archie I liked it when Ian’s era came in mainly bc it started getting consistently better artists like Jon Gray and Tracy Yardley (ik you don’t like them but I liked the clean lines it was very easy to understand where the characters were placed and what the pose was… sometimes. There were absolutely weird ass expressions and fumbles lmao)

in regards to flynn's run its hard to say what elements were because of sega/sonic team's growing involvement in the story, the requests of the editor at the time (who wanted to reboot the continuity at issue 160 but was talked down by flynn) and flynn's own personal biases and choices. there's no doubt ian flynn was a big fan of archie, having sent several of his own scripts for stories to the comic before being hired, but he was also the first lead writer for archie sonic who was actually a fan of the sonic video games, and i don't think that didn't affect how he wrote the comic. little things like characterization tended towards the characters' game counterparts, and plot details like the seven chaos emeralds in the special zone may have utilized concepts from previous issues but were also tinted by flynn's enjoyment and knowledge of the game. any prior writer, if tasked with the same jobs flynn had, would have handled things differently. saying something is "similar to the games" when the only games you had to work off of were sonic 1 and 2 is also a little bit disingenuous, seeing as there really wasn't much readily available story material to work with. to archie's credit they did sneak in influences from the genesis games when they could, but the plot was still majorly based on satam. flynn isnt a bad writer by any means but i dontttt think he was all that. previous issues also had really good writing, its just that the last few issues before 160 had a lot of behind the scenes turmoil that made flynn's direction look better. you can't pin everything you like or dislike about the comic's story on one specific person, something people are quite fond of doing with both flynn and penders. saying the art only got good after 160 is also... not true lol. post-160 art was more on model to the mobian style maybe, but saying that is better just betrays your personal opinion rather than any objective quality difference

[caddeter]

Skimming through the RWDE tag after the Volume 9 final aired reminds me of how the FNDM will defend the show by saying ‘people make mistakes’ and ‘the writers are only human’ because now the show seems to be sending that message.  It also reminded me that I wrote over 1000 words explaining why I think that’s terrible.

‘People make mistakes’ is the absolute worst argument in defense of something that I have every heard. I find it even more insulting than the infamous ‘don’t like, don’t watch,’ because it implies that putting effort into your craft is optional.  What this argument says is that I am in the wrong for expecting anything more than garbage. You are legitimately saying, ‘It could have been better, but you’re wrong for saying so.’  Yes, I realize that nobody is perfect and that they are going to screw up every now and again.  That’s why I’m criticizing it.  I mean, when was the last time you heard people get criticized for doing something right.

This argument of ‘people make mistakes so you can’t complain’ also ignores the moment after, where they look back on what they did wrong and learn from it.  That’s why we make mistakes, so that we can grow as people.   Why should we try to improve ourselves if we’re already ‘good enough.’ ‘People make mistakes,’ is a fact of life, but that does not mean we should throw up our hands and give up all attempts to get better and it certainly doesn’t mean we should accepting bad stories.

But enough about my philosophy on mistakes, let’s talk about this one, specifically how situational it is:

Twilight is recognized across the globe as one of the worst books ever written.  Even ignoring the way it bastardizes the concept of Vampires, it’s a story that reads less like a romance and more like a drug addiction. The lead characters have all the chemistry of a brick and a dead rat.  The relationship it tries to push as beautiful and grand is downright abusive at points.  And this isn’t even getting into all the misogyny and racism and pedophilia in those books.  But people make mistakes, so I guess we shouldn’t hold it against Myers.

Sword Art Online is one of the most infamous anime there is.  Despite its large following, whenever someone looks over it with a critical lens, they come to the conclusion that it’s utter crap.  The plot and worldbuilding are inconsistent. The characters (Kirito especially) exist more to fill out roles in a fantasy than as actual people.  It’s all about making Kirito look good and ensuring he comes out better than when he came in, no matter what.  It goes out of its way to include some kind of sexual assault of the lead female character in a given arc with no respect for the subject matter, to the point where it’s hard to tell if Reki Kawahara thinks rape is the worst crime a man could commit or if he has a fetish for it.  But people make mistakes, so the critics are more in the wrong for making videos on it.

In spite of (Or rather, because of) its troubled production, Sonic 06 is one of the worst video games in existence.  It’s so glitchy, it borders on unplayable.  The story is bland at best, flat out terrible at worst.  The new characters it introduced were all unlikable for one reason or another.  Level design was horrendous and boring.  People have made numerous videos and blogposts explaining why it is one of Sonic’s worst games, if not one of the worst games period.  But people make mistakes, so we should stop complaining.

Post season 4, Spongebob Squarepants took a downward dive.  Characters became little more than one unlikable trait.  It crossed the line from mischief to malice, so good characters suffered while the bad ones triumphed.  It was extremely evident that they had already run out of ideas, because they kept rehashing the same episode plot over and over again and needed to pad out some episodes.  But people make mistakes, so they should never have tried to fix this.

Lucy is the most boring movie I ever sat through.  It’s just ‘This girl gains reality altering powers, be amazed at how easy everything is for her.’ There is never any point where she is in any sort of real danger or anything actually threatens her.  She loses all empathy for her fellow man and has no problem throwing them away like broken toys (In an Asian country when our main character is white, mind you), yet it expects you to see her as the good guy throughout. Instead of being terrified by her rampage, it expects you to be amazed.  And maybe that would have worked if it used said reality altering powers in more creative ways.  But people make mistakes, so I guess it’s a good movie.

I could go on for ages and never run out of examples for any given form of media.  And this is all ignoring examples that are actively malicious, like stories that are intentionally sexist, racist, or homophobic.

And then there’s that other group of people this argument conveniently doesn’t apply to:  The critics.  If people make mistakes and you think we should just ignore that, then you can’t challenge the critics on any ground, because they made a mistake by talking about the writer’s mistakes.  If we are not allowed to judge your writer, then why are you allowed to judge ours?

Not to mention how this logic is almost self-refuting. When you say this, what you are saying is that the only thing wrong with the criticism is that it is criticism.

Furthermore, this argument also somewhat undermines the effort other artists and writers will put into their craft in order to make something as best as they possibly could. If we should all just accept when someone fails to make something good, then why should we recognize how Fictional Games ensured that Amnesia The Dark Descent had an atmosphere which on its own could leave you terrified rather than relying on cheap jumpscares?  Why should we praise Tatsuya Endo’s writing for blending heartfelt, humorous, and action-packed when he wrote SpyXFamily? Why should we celebrate Avatar the Last Airbender not just for its amazing story of multiple cultures coming together and strengthening one another, but also for its fully realized and fantastical world?

By saying that we should accept mistakes and that it’s wrong to criticize bad writing, you wind up saying that all of their effort was pointless.  Why bother trying to make something as best you can when people will accept anything?  If we’re not going to pay attention to what a story or writer did wrong, why should we pay attention to what a story or writer did right?

‘People make mistakes,’ means just that, that people make mistakes.  So how about we treat those mistakes as mistakes and hold people accountable for them, rather than act like everyone and everything is perfect and infallible?

[crusherthedoctor]

9, 13 and 14 :)

9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

For my one-shots, I felt like exploring some rarely touched territory. The Tails/Amy one in particular, since I wanted to resolve Tails' controversial Lost World portrayal in a way that could make sense (and I didn't need to use the phrase Wildly Inconsistent in order to do it), since as a Tails fan, the period of fans constantly shitting on Tails - some even requesting that he be replaced or killed off - was not fun. So I guess you could say the Tails/Amy one-shot was me venting, but in a positive way lol.

As for BtS/Stellar, I'll admit that part of it was due to the "Fine, I'll do it myself" mentality when I grew fed up with how hard it is to find traditional Sonicy adventure stories that also retain Eggman as the undisputed main villain - even less that don't needlessly soften him up for the sake of "depth" - but mostly it was because I simply had all these ideas that I thought could be worth sharing, and I wanted to see if I could make a coherent story out of them.

It began in 2014 with the naked template of the character who would eventually become Trudy. Then I started thinking up what, in my mind, the ultimate Eggman Big Bad story would be like. Then I brainstormed the story themes involved, and the setting, and how the official cast would interact with the OC in a way that remained in-character for all of them, and it just kind of snowballed from there.

tl;dr: "All these ideas are exciting me, but no one else is gonna write it cause they're too busy writing OoC Sonamy/edgy Scourge/SA2 adaptation #500, so I better harness that Passion and Effort that fans always talk about".

13. Describe your writing style. If you were to participate in an anonymous fic writers guessing game (like The Masked Author), what writing habits do you have that would be a dead giveaway that it’s you?

If there's gameplay segments, the immediate giveaway would be that Gameplay Narration!Crusher is a lot more sassy than Story Narration!Crusher.

If not… well, as you've noticed for yourself, I'm fond of giving the readers as much of a perfect picture as I can when it comes to the locations. I try not to go overboard and drag it out, but I'm one of those guys that must describe the exact kind of scenery, architecture, sky, etc. "Can't you just say it's a sunset?" "NO, they might think it's just a basic orange sky, I HAVE to specify it's a purple that gradually fades into deep red from a distance!!!"

As for how I write the actual characters, one stipulation that I've been trying to impose on myself with Stellar is to be as economical as possible with the dialogue. They still say a fair amount mind you, since that's pretty unavoidable for a story that's in written fanfic form, but for the big dramatic moments and emotional scenes and whatnot, my intent is to focus on the characters' actions and subtle gestures first and foremost, with everything they do say being just the right amount to go along with it. I take a conversation, decide on the necessary exchanges and length, then add some additional character-enhancing flavor text afterwards to round it out.

This was brought about by the IDW cast's inability to shut the fuck up, with Sonic's wall of text to Surge being the final straw. It made me realise and appreciate how laconic the game cast is by comparison (...usually), so that made me want to try it out. Eggman is a slight exception for this rule, since being Eggman, I figure he can get away with hearing himself talk as much as he sees fit, though even with him, every inch of his dialogue is at least still relevant in some form or another, some cases more subtle than others.

14. Share a snippet.

(Note that there'll be some narration that breaks this up a bit during the actual story.)

Eggman: So being the generous gentleman that I am, I've given these ancient husks a second chance at life so they can have the freedom to carry out my pursuits. But I couldn't just leave them, could I? All that time spent from a bygone era surely must have left them scared and confused upon witnessing this brave new world! They could do something silly in their old age, like resist me! So to help them out in the modern day, I gave them a little… maintenance.

[cloudofdarkness]

I need your help

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning :Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: F/M

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types

Relationship: Amy Rose/Sonic the Hedgehog

Characters:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Miles "Tails" Prower

Additional Tags:

Comfort

Angst

Fluff

Language: English

-

No one can bottle up their feelings for too long, not even Sonic

Give a like and Fave here as well if you please!!

Okay, I need your help.

Please don’t tell anyone.

Amy stared down at her phone in silence, her fingers gently tracing the sides of her case as she read the two texts back over and over. She’d done it on her way over there, and who knew how long she’d been standing here in front of his front door. Sonic had never actually reached out to her about these things before, let alone anyone else. He wasn’t really someone who liked to willingly express negative emotions, so it shocked her to suddenly get such a text. Usually when something was wrong, it was played off as “Hey, you wanna go throw baseballs at glass bottles in the junkyard at three am because we’re both upset?” It wasn’t ever just..I need your help. That’s what worried her.

Gently, she knocked on the door, tucking her phone away in her shoulder bag and waiting for a moment to be answered. It took longer than she expected, already plunging her worry deeper than it already needed to be, and when he answered..He seemed perfectly normal. That might’ve actually weirded her out the most.

“Oh hey! You made it!” His usual cheery tone was there, but somewhere she heard a slight crack in his voice. He looked around her as if to make sure no one was following, before stepping back to invite her in. “Tails made cookies! He wanted to try this weird mint chip recipe he found, since we all know he’s crazy about mint. They’re actually not that bad! Just..not my thing. You can grab some if you want! He knows you’re coming by!”

He was..a bit too cheery for someone who’d texted her like he did. It’s not like it was his normal to text with periods and lowercase either. She knew that, everyone knew that. Something was up. And she figured it had something to do with him avoiding his feelings. She knew it was coming, that he’d get so close and then back out of it, but she’d crack him somehow, that’s what she was here for. She knew that’s what he wanted too. “Right. I’ll Ah..bring some home with me. Why don’t we catch up first? It’s been a good minute since I’ve hung out with anyone. I know you and Tails have been up to a lot~ wanna ramble about that?”

His ears perked up in interest as he turned on his heel toward her, leaning against the counter all casual like. “Well~ we met this cool gal, Tangle! She’s this lemur with a super long tail that’s almost like a hand! We hung out with her for awhile..oh! And Blaze is back! She wants to help with the resistance! Thought you’d be happy to know that~”

Amy had to keep her cheeks from flushing at the mention, before clearing her throat with a smile, going to sit back in one of the bar stool chairs. “I’ll make sure I keep an eye out for her~ Anyone else I should know about?”

“Oh yeah! This gal named Whisper! Silver’s all about her, and at first I didn’t really get her, but..she’s kinda like Shadow! She works with people she really trusts, even if at first she seems kinda cut off from everyone else!” He continued, already feeling a bit better just talking about new friends, though he knew it wouldn’t wholly stir the problem from his thoughts. “There was a couple other smaller things but~ not much from my end besides daily plane tests and explorin’ the countryside~ what about you?”

Amy simply laughed at this, playing with one of her bracelets before leaning against one of her arms. “Well..nothing as exciting as you, I’m sure..just resistance work and sometimes visiting Vanilla and Cream. She’s grown so much, it’s crazy! I work for so long sometimes, it really doesn’t hit me how long it’s actually been until I can feel my quills hitting my shoulders, you know?” She tried to lighten the mood, playing with her longer hair for added effect. There was something about her that just..made Sonic feel better than he was before. Even if it was just talking to her, she always managed to keep a positive attitude. How was she so good at that?

“Hey..Ames, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what’s on your mind?”

He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to ruin the small, happy reunion they were having..but he needed to know. “How do you..stay so positive all the time? I mean, you’re the leader of the resistance and yet you seem so unfazed by everything..like when you guys rescued me. Yeah, you were pretty emotional then but..it was only because you were worried about me. You never once seemed stressed that Eggman had taken over Mobius..and that you were at the head of all that.” He paused, noticing that she was avoiding his gaze now, her fingers tracing the patterned lines on the counter. “..I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that..I just-“

“No it’s okay.” She quickly interrupted him, her eyes falling down to her lap as her tracing slowed to a stop. “I guess you got me~ I..I’m not good with my own feelings. Probably because I’ve never had to deal with anything big before. I’ve never felt upset about anything significant. When I started the resistance..it was a simple thing to look for you. Just our friends and I hoping that you weren’t dead. And then months passed, things became more serious and..everything depended on my judgement. Every time we lost something, it was on me. Every time we lost someone? Me again. Every time..I’d write to myself, and when that wouldn’t work..I’d just..cry. I’d find somewhere that nobody else was, and I’d cry. Shadow left, Tails left..and I felt like I failed you. Even if you were dead, I couldn’t keep two of the most important people in your life safe. I didn’t even go after them..” her voice wavered at that last part, before she stopped, realizing there were tears dripping into her lap. She tried to wipe them away, before sighing softly. This wasn’t about her..but she felt like both of them needed to know this. “..I realize now that..what I felt then, that’s what you feel like every day. And I’m so sorry you have to carry that burden.”

Damnit. She really knew how to read people. He bet she could hear the cracking of his shell. He bet she knew he was going to break any minute now. Maybe that was okay, but he still wasn’t sure. He’d try to put this as delicately as he could. Gently, he took one of her hands, watching her head lift a little. “Remember when we first met? I saved you from Metal and you said I could stay with you because I was a stupid runaway kid not much older than you. And I said, sure but don’t get attached! And then your parents ended up spoiling me so much I stayed for almost a year? I think that was one of the best homes I’ve had.”

Amy nodded, a small smile coming to her face as she met his gaze with watery eyes. “Hah..yeah..and we would stay up all night watching corny movies and looking at cute boys. And you’d act like you hated school, but then saw how fun my classes were and tried to join in with me.” She earned a laugh with that one.

“Yeah well-! They weren’t normal classes! I’ve never met anyone who took five language classes and a chao caretaking class!” He tried to defend himself, pouting rather indignantly. “Besides that, they had cool PE games. And I totally kicked butt at every one! But..then I left for awhile..I met Tails and Knuckles..we all went on adventures..people started knowing my name..they started looking up to me, counting on me. And I became exactly what I’d ran away from.”

Amy noticed his voice fading again, watching as he sat back in the stool behind him, still leaning against the counter. “I became someone that gave orders..that..people would solely trust in just because I did a couple really cool things. It’s like..I know I’m fated to do great things, I know I’m connected to chaos and I’m super powerful, but I just..I wanna do all that and still be me. I don’t want people thinking that my word is law. I don’t wanna be the reason behind failure..I don’t want people sacrificing themselves for me. I’m just one guy.” He paused again, looking down to his hands, before clenching them into fists. “I sometimes wonder what the world would be like if I did die. Not that I want to..but I wonder. Sure, things would be awful..but they’d get better, right? Shadow’s just as good at saving the world as I am. Silver too..you’re an amazing leader, even if it’s stressful sometimes. So is Knuckles. Tails is practically following in my footsteps..it’s like..things would be okay without me. And I’m not just saying that because I think I don’t matter..I just want the world to know that they don’t always have to look to me. They can look inside themselves for judgement.”

When he finished, he realized how quiet the atmosphere had gotten, and he quickly grew nervous. “Sorry, I guess the deep feeling juice is really running its course.”

“Does it feel better?”

“Huh?”

Amy smiled, knowing she’d worked her magic on him. Not even Sonic could bottle up his emotions around her. “Talking about it with someone. Does it help?”

Ah shit..that’s what she was doing all along, wasn’t it?? He’d really gotten eased into this so easily! He simply scoffed, trying to play it off as a small blush came to his cheeks. What a sucker. “I guess it does~ ya really got me there, Ames~ remind me to get you back.”

Rolling her eyes, she hopped down from her stool, going over to hug him and hearing his playful groans of embarrassment. “No~! Not the gentle hugs~! I refuse to be this sappy!”

“Deal with it, punk. Because I’m staying like this for a good minute!! If you squirm, I’m only making it tighter!!” She teased back, before backing out of the hug with a giggle, she met his gaze for a moment, brushing back her quills before feeling herself being pulled back in. Her head rest against his chest, feeling his muzzle against the top of her head. “..Thanks, Amy. I really needed this.”

She gently hugged him back, her fingers brushing the spot between his back spikes just like how she knew he liked it. It was calm. It was nice. It was a small moment, before the kitchen door was kicked open by Tails, causing the both of them to frantically jump out of the embrace.

Tails simply eyed the two in confusion, before going to grab a soda bottle from the fridge. He grinned playfully to Sonic, earning a side eye from him before hurrying back to the door. “It’s nice to see you, Amy!”

“Tails..” Sonic spoke between his teeth, faking a smile as Tails cackled, shutting the door behind him before he could face the other’s wrath. He knew exactly what he’d done..

“..so. You wanna watch corny movies and talk about boys like old times?” Amy tried to stray from the awkward moment, gently squeezing his hand and causing him to revert his gaze.

“Totally.”

[insertsomthinawesome]

25, 26, 29, 30

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

I actually don't think that's ever happened to me! I had somebody on deviant art once say my artstyle was like theirs. i think that's about it tho? There was somebody here on Tumblr who said my first WOlfwood drawing was like a combo of 98 and Stamp and I was like???? I did not do that on purpose. xD (am honored tho. 98 Wolfwood is a good lad from what I know.) 26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended OOH. THis is another one I feel like I should know but am drawing a blank.

OH I KNOW I KNOW I REMEMBER: THIS PIECE ON DEVIANT ART People kept thinking me giving Reigen black wings meant I thought he was evil when more I was trying to say he was tainted by his own questionable deeds! I totally get why people were thinking that tho xD A very understandable reaction and the title of the piece also used to be "Not What he Seems" So it came off WAAAAY more antagonistic towards Reigen. 29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically Somebody beat you to 29 so I'll copy that answer here: "OOOH. OOH I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD KNOW THIS BUT MY BRAIN IS DRAWING A BLANK. oooh I feel like, I'd have to say Probably Jak & Daxter and Monster Hunter. I LOVE both. But like hmm. I've had very brief periods of times of trying to draw for them or thinking about doing so. But I've never really done so. And with J&D it was SO LONG AGO. They're both very beautiful and inspiring in their own ways. But I don't think either has really ever made me sit down and be inspired artistically??? I think it could totally happen tho." 30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

OOF oh no xD

THIS piece of Albedo From genshin Impact. I was always pretty proud of this!! And I thought it'd do WAY better. SOmtimes it just be like that tho! :D The other one would be THIS This was my first post to tumblr tho, so Honestly I understand why nobody saw it xD Also its in this middling phase I had with art where I was still kinda figuring out a LOT of techniques and stuff (and I've learned a thing or two about fashion design i hope 8/) But honestly I'm still really proud of it? It took a lot of effort and it was a very self indulgent piece that connected with who i was then (loving Undertale) And who I'd been in the past (Loving Blinx, Sonic, and Ratchet and Clank) So there's a lot of like, nostalgic and warm emotions attached to it that make me wish it'd done better. (also cause I HATED doing backgrounds and I put a lot of effort into that one) BUT at least its still special to me!! :D And again these things just happen sometimes. I prefer they be obscure than I force people to like them. And who knows? Maybe somebody will dig them up someday and love them :)

[chaosworthy]

                                                         04.05.3233                                                                                                                                Location ¦ Angel Island

                                                   -------

Despite his best efforts, apprehension had shot through the hero's body. He knew it had shown when, across from him, Chaos' gaze softened. It was hard to tell if the other was any more of a fan of this than the hero themselves but the hedgehog liked to think so. It made him feel a little better about what was about to happen. But it didn't change one, very real fact:

Sonic hated this.

Again, his feeling must have shown as he all but glared at the dark ball of energy in the demi-god's hand. It was small but still more than enough to be felt by the hero, to stand his fur on edge and have his body tense. It hadn't even touched him yet, and he could feel a swell of unease in his stomach. But he knew none of that would stop Chaos. 

Yet, the demi-god did still lay a gentle hand on the hero’s tan shoulder in reassurance, as they always did. As usual, their voice was firm, but soft at the same time. Unyielding, but understanding. <<It is necessary. Without this you will only suffer more in dire circumstances.>>

The hedgehog wanted to protest, and even Chaos could see that, but they just drew a breath and sighed. 

"I know…let's get this over with."

Chaos waited a moment before nodding. They had meant what they said; they did think this was for the best. The more the hero exposed himself to the energy the sooner they would learn to control it in a sense. To push it out instead of harboring it as they had a handful of times before. The hero couldn't purify it, this was true, but with enough willpower, they could conquer negative energy for a period. It wouldn't be easy, and would be painful, but it could be done. 

Or so Chaos said anyway. 

Sonic had his doubts but had never been able to properly explain why. It was why, once again, he was here. Hands extended as Chaos' own hovered over them, before pushing that sphere of ill energy into the hero in the most literal sense. The hero's body fought it naturally, but the demi-god persisted until every part had been taken in while carefully disregarding the pained expression on his student's face. 

Everything about it felt wrong to Sonic. Like an invader set on tainting and clawing every part of him it could possibly touch. And this was just a small amount. It had been so much worse after his confrontation with The Four and Dark, but he still felt the same indecisiveness then as he did now. He didn't want to interact with it, didn't want to do what was being asked of him. And at the same time he wondered if it was really even possible.

Controlling any negative energy he came across, any that managed to bleed into him, seemed like a fool's errand. 

The more he concentrated on it, the worse it was and the more pain he felt searing in his veins. It was only mildly helped by knowing the demi-god was there to help if anything went too wrong, but it was also obvious after just a few minutes that it wasn’t working. Try as he might, the hedgehog couldn’t bring himself to engage with the tainted energy, and it wasn’t due to the fear of pain; his heart simply wasn’t in it and it was clear that the rejection was taking a toll.

There was a reason after all that the hero refused to let his family accompany him to these training sessions. 

He bore it for a few minutes more before the voice in the back of his head said it was enough. He was at his limit, and emerald hues quickly looked to Chaos. "Get..it…out."

To their credit, Chaos did exactly that. No questions, no pushing. Only the ease that the demi-god had when reaching out and handling the negative energy, almost enough to make the hero envious. Had he not already made up his mind about the situation. Unaware of the thought in the hedgehog’s head, Chaos waited for a moment before speaking.

<<Sonic…>>

"I…can't..."

The look Chaos gave him spoke volumes, not disappointed but perplexed and concerned. It had been years of this by now, and every time the hero reached that point it would only be met with a chuckle or soft reassurances that he would get it next time. Never denial. Never defeat. It was troubling, but the demi-god felt a mild relief when the hedgehog seemed to force some small smile.  

"I won't…" He rephrased, and while he saw a protest forming in the water being’s jewel-colored eyes, the hedgehog had shaken his head before they could voice it. He was set on this. "I just…'s not right. I'm not like you, I don't like using it and we both know 's only going t’ cause more problems than solutions in the end..."

Chaos couldn’t argue that, and it was part of the reason why the hero had said it. When dealing with Chaos Energy, emotions were always a factor. One’s mind had to be in it just as much as their body, and in this case the hero was torn. He knew that it was supposed to be helpful, but he didn’t like it. Didn’t like the feeling, knowing what it could do and the association it had with certain people in his past. He refused to accept it in any way, and maybe that was just how things were supposed to be.

"Maybe I'm not meant for this. Maybe this time, I really am just a one-trick 'hog," he told Chaos and this, for some reason, made that smile of his a little brighter. "I know you were only trying t' help, but…I just won’t do it."

Seconds ticked by and there was no change on Chaos’ face. They were stoic, carefully level as they looked at the hero. Yet, just as the latter had expected, there was no argument after a minute had ticked by. Because Sonic was right. Pushing this, no matter how much Chaos was convinced it would benefit them in a sinister position, would only cause more problems. And he wasn’t here to hurt the hedgehog, only teach them. 

It was like asking a poppy to grow full-blown thorns, or a waterfall to silence its roar. It wasn't in their nature, and trying to change them meant you would get something different as a result. You would lose what they truly were in their essence.

<<The Guardian was right…you are stubborn.>>

[seeminglyseph]

I’ve been sick today and yesterday and I don’t know where the days met, everything’s a little fuzzy, but somehow I’m watching a video about Ken Penders’ Sonic the Hedgehog and I really do feel like. I wish someone would cover it from the POV of someone who read the comics like…. Before the lawsuits and the memes. Like everything feels like “so I heard about these crazy comics and looked them up, this is crazy!” But like.

I know I wasn’t the only kid reading these fucking comics. There were other people who read these books and liked these characters, and cared about the plot lines maybe because they were 10 and didn’t know how storytelling was supposed to work. It’s one thing to be 35 and go “wow that’s fucking stupid” and another thing to be a literal small child, the target audience for Sonic the Hedgehog and be like “oh, shit, this series is cool!” Like yeah of course I didn’t know what Lemon SunDrop poisoning was as a literal 9 year old, but I remember reading a comic about the Chaotix solving a Noir style murder mystery so many times the pages fell apart.

That’s almost part of the Penders betrayal, like… yeah as a child I really enjoyed some of this stuff, and now it’s gone and trashed because he literally pulled the Sonic OC “my original character do not steal” on everything he ever contributed to a medium that is by its nature collaborative.

I grew up with a hyphenated name, this may seem like a nothingburger concept to have a problem with, but it’s also a situation where a lot of people decide either that they know better than you what your name is and will correct you, or they will simply ignore any information you give them about your name and just kinda call you whatever part of the hyphenate they like best. Julie-Su was a character whose name was not at all like mine, but also had the hyphenate that made my name so complicated. It feels stupid, but she was like my favourite character as a little kid, this obscure comic character no one knew about. But it’s all messed up now.

Maybe I should try and write an essay one day…

Edit: it should be noted like… I don’t like Penders, I don’t know a lot about his politics but it’s mostly iffy or bad what I do know. And a lot of the comics did go off the rails hard. I enjoyed the comics as a child, in part because as a child I could buy Sonic comics at the 7-11, and that meant I could actually buy Sonic comics. The world was different in the 90s man. I didn’t have information about creators, I read a comic book and then ran around creating an imaginary adventure about being a freedom fighter animal person. Like. I didn’t have the internet at all period at the time. I didn’t have a computer.

[cruorcrave]

24 December 2024

(TL;DR at the end.)

Okay, I'm writing this in an undisclosed location because my little cousin is trying to get me to play with him because I'm closest to him in age. I don't have much time before he starts telling me more about Sonic.

Anyway, silly introduction aside, today has been okay. I'm super overstimulated (partially because of said young cousin and partially because there are lots of people in my house) but it's not necessarily bad. We're having dinner soon and it's roast beef so I'm pretty stoked for that.

I made a little offering to Danu, Dagda and Brigid the other day down at the oak tree near my house. I left them some shortbread and dried apple slices and had a little chat with them, prayed for a moment and thanked them for helping me. I'm still struggling but my faith in them helps me a lot. Even if it seems like it doesn't from an outside perspective, I know I could be a lot worse. They give me a lot of strength and belief in myself.

What is bad though is the tactile hallucinations, and the urges somewhat.

tw discussing hallucinations/bugs/insects, s/h, autovampirism

The hallucinations are getting worse and worse. Multiple times today I have had to leave the room to rip off my jacket/shoes/scratch under my clothes because it feels like there are bugs. every. where. In my clothes, in my hair, in my ears, on my feet, on my face. Every. Where. It's getting to the point where it's starting to be somewhat debilitating. Like, it's actually impeding on my life beyond just slight annoyance now. Even now whilst I'm writing this in a single sitting, I've had to pause every sentence or so to scratch at myself. I've had these tactile hallucinations since I was a kid, and sometimes they were so bad I couldn't sleep, and were a big reason I didn't like being outside (being outside I can more easily assume it's actually bugs rather than my imagination) but they only ever got bad when I was already pretty distressed. I guess you could say I have been distressed for an extended period though.

I think I should see someone about it if it keeps up much longer. It's been manageable before, but the past three days or so it has been so bad I can't function as I usually would. The problem is, I'm going overseas with family early next year, and I really don't want to put a spanner in the works by trying to get this fixed before we go and starting that whole process - but, I also don't want to go overseas with this problem, especially if it continues to be this bad, or even worsen. I really don't know what to do.

Gods, I just wanna tear at my skin right now, it's so unbearable. I'm constantly scratching at myself, not to the point of bleeding yet, but definitely to the point of irritation. First the autovampirism, and now this? I can't fucking deal with all of this right now 😭ffs

Speaking of the autovampirism, it's still there. Obviously. The hallucinations have taken a bit of a front seat but fuck I really wanna relapse. I mean I don't obviously, but I do. You know what I mean hopefully. The taste of the blood and the feeling of it on my lips just calms me down so much and I really need something to calm me down right about now. I haven't got the chance to do anything though, so I'm 3 days clean still.

I'm happy that I'm still clean even though it's hard, and I'm thankful for my family for understanding when I say I need a break from people and go to hide in my room. I'm also happy that my sister is feeling better today as she was doing really badly last night.

Song of the Day: Crawling - Linkin Park

TL;DR

Today has been pretty okay even if I'm been pretty overstimulated! Having fun with my family :) Gave some offerings to some gods/goddesses that are important to me, I'm really thankful for them. Hallucinations are getting way worse though. Feels like there's bugs all over me 24/7. Scratching at myself a lot. Starting to impede my life a lot more, hoping it gets better on its own. Autovampiric urges are still there. 3 days clean though!

Clean since 20 December 2024

[theclo4ked1]

abnormally large paintbrush aura, too (scroll down for the art) Happy New Year, everybody. 2024 is off to a pretty great start so far for me, especially today since we finally got snow on my part of ZA WARUDO. We, mostly me, made these really cool snow-people in the last 24 hours, look.

These are my friends (in order from left to right), Monkeypaw, Hemorrhoid, and Kankersore. Hemorrhoid is Kankersore's girlfriend. Monkeypaw was found to have fallen over earlier this afternoon, so he's dead, RIP. What I liked about creating them was treating the snow like clay, that's why the men hats made from snow, and even though you can hardly see it, Hemorrhoid has a hair bun. She and Monkeypaw both got dat necklace drip, but only he and Kankersore have brown eyes (the darkness is made from dirt and leaves).

Snow sorry for the sort of cold opening (and the puns), I was just really happy to share that. Anyways, a short time after the last series of paintings, I had started a new project in which I experimented in larger paintings. I made three that time, so lemme tell ya 'bout 'em. Again, like last time, the paintings are ordered by creation.

I wanna say something, but I wanna see if you notice a change in subject (hint, hint), especially when you get into the next post. So, the one on the left is a Lunar Valley-type grassland with the mountains that line some of the valley's perimeter. It's a very (hmm how do I say...) "airy" kind of painting. It just looks like the texture is cloudy/foggy, especially in the mountains (not pyramids, as a peer had thought). The paint is thin because I diluted the paint with more oil, in addition to pre-coating the canvas in Linseed Oil, which was over a dried layer of extremely thinned brown Acrylic Paint. This series was when I began to incorporate Acrylic Paint into my works. The other painting is an aqueduct whose water flows into a forest, all against an orange sky with the sun standing by. The water is the best thing about the painting, and I was given constructive criticism to improve on the piece, but I've yet to act on it. The best thing suggested was to add bricks to the aqueduct to make it more like an aqueduct.

In the last post, I mentioned "another dreamscape painting I’ve wanted to make for a little over a year now," and how that's "a story for another time." That time is now, BEHOLD, my floating masterpiece: the EGG CarRrRiARrr! AHEM sorry, I had played Sonic Adventure some days ago after about a year or so since I last touched it. My "waifu for laifu" PlayStation3 would know better than I would, but anyways, let me tell you, now the story of the next painting-- wait no, a bit of backstory: I was at friend's birthday party back in October 2022, when I actually had the dream. It was a fun time, and that chocolate cake she shared with us was awesome. I can't remember what kind of chocolate cake, but it was mmmmm… Later that night, I returned home to my bed and slept. The dream began. Please BARE WITH ME as I try to remember exactly what I experienced. I told the same story to my peers, and I think I explained it better since it was at an earlier time relative to now, when I'm more likely to forget more of a finer details of that dream because it was so long ago. It's a weird one, too; Activation-synthesis theory and all:

I was captured and tied up aboard the evil pirate Risky Boots' ship, just about to walk the plank and thrown into the drink. I was cornered, with the sea to my back, and Risky and her sword across my throat. I don't know what I did, but it was likely I wouldn't make it out of this alive. Next thing I knew, I found myself in the ocean of my own blood, and the last thing I saw was that pirate's face (and her rack). I most likely died by drowning first... It was dark for a period, followed by a gradual brightness and materialization of my environment. A massive and ever-shifting sea of yellow dandelions forming a floor and a ceiling in front of an azure sky that looked like it had a navy-blue rip in the space-time continuum. I was floating over the sea. I wasn't in the air, but I wasn't swimming either. And speaking of swimming, a Blue whale was maneuvering through the environment as if it were swimming in water, it even went into the flowers. For some reason I can't remember, I began calling out to Nina, as if I was brought to this heaven for the sole purpose to find my "daughter" (spoiler: I couldn't find her). I continued floating to a point where the flowers started to end, and a dirt path of green grass began. I had landed. Finally, I was able to walk. I walked, still hoping to find Nina. The path lead to a new environment. It widened; tall trees began to appear and grow taller with every step I took. Zoo animals were present along the road, yet the only one I remember clearly was an elephant. I continued walking until I approached a familiar looking set of fences, which I recognized as part of the zoo that used to be part of a childhood park. Behind me and the fences, was the playground by where my Grama used to live. In this playground was a crowd of people; kids and adults. Among all the noise and children and water spraying from the newly installed play-area was my father, just watching. None of my siblings were there nor my mother. Just him. I walked up to him. I opened my mouth to ask "Hey Dad, have ever you seen 2001: A Space Odyssey?"

Put that on Wattpad, why don't I? After that last line, I woke up, and that same morning, I talked to my father about the dream and asked him the same question, to which he responded "yes". He also recommends I give the movie a watch, which I've also yet to do, but it's on my list. In fact, it was the first thing on my "Movies To Watch" list. V For Vendetta was recommended to me also by one of peers to which I told my dream. I think that same peer also commented how the dreamscape painting looks like a flag. By the way, this is only painting with a name in the series. I call it "i died and went to heaven". There were also multiple versions before this one. Sorry, I'm forgetting what I want to say. OH, yeah yeah, so that dream left me pondering. First off, I'm a weirdo who's Agnostic and Christian. What do I mean by this incredibly ridiculous and confusing proclamation? Welp, I'm on the fence about truly believing in God; that He created all, and the stuff about Jesus and whatnot, and I occasionally pray (though I don't think prayer is an exclusively religious concept), yet I'm not really Christian; however, I'm not opposed to the belief of the existence of a heaven and hell. What am I, can you tell me? Back to the dream, after I died, I was taken to the dandelion oceans. I'll chalk this up to the Activation-synthesis theory, but if that was supposed to be my heaven (cuz there ain't no fire and brimstones and all that junk), is everyone's heaven different based on their own perceptions? D-do you understand what I'm trying to ask? I asked my dad about it too, and his answer is one I also cannot remember, but I think he was just as unsure as me. I had always thought Heaven was this magical afterlife, with clouds and sunshine, and the gate outside of Heaven where Madea can stay so she don't have to go to Hell-- what? Well, I suppose that's what TV told me. Ever since that night, my view of what Heaven could, at the very least, look like has been the dandelion oceans, the blue sky with the rip in the space-time continuum, and the whale. It just has to be Activation-synthesis theory, it could only be! Yet, how I do remember almost everything about the arbitrary events. It was illogical, nonsensical, I was travelling backwards through time in the dream for crying out loud. It took parts from all over my unconscious, and not a single GOT damn part of the dream was related to Sonic the Hedgehog OR Dora the Explorer, two of the biggest influences in my childhood. No, it'd have to be subconscious, wouldn't it? I don't know but like, how do you take my favorite flower, NiGHTS Into Dreams, Shantae, the children's playground, the old park with the abandoned zoo, and my dad and make a dream like this? Where did the space odyssey come from?! Aargh! I'm going to bed. As usual, thanks for reading.

[skelezomperman]

Revising A Tale of Star-Crossed Knights - Chapters 18 and 19

Link to Chapter 18: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39015690/chapters/105269472

Link to Chapter 19: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39015690/chapters/105690093

These chapters are grouped together because they both cover the time period from Erinys' death up until the beginning of Thracia 776. And not so coincidentially, these are the most filler chapters of Part 3. The rest of Part 3 is nonstop because it covers basically the entirety of the second half of Genealogy in the span of 7 chapters. There wasn't really much I changed with these chapters, though I considered cutting the scene where Asbel gets Grafcalibur at the beginning of Chapter 19. I believe I did cut a scene in Chapter 18 with Finn and Nanna because I thought it served no real purpose other than to just give Finn an appearance...it flows better to have that chapter focus only on the Silessean kids.

Honestly I do find that I don't really like that C19 tries to have the three main characters (Finn/Ced/Fee) all have their plots develop at the same time, but I didn't feel like trying to rewrite the chapters so that they would all be segregated. It's a bit messy that they get split up between each other, but at least it doesn't last too long until Ced and Finn reunite.

Original A/N for Chapter 18:

Welcome to the beginning of Part III! The long night of Jugdral is beginning to end as the seeds of rebellion are sowed across the continent.

I decided that this chapter would mostly focus on Ced. Ced has the journey to go to Northern Thracia for the first time in search of his father. Fee tries to dissuade him but Arthur (!) convinces her to let Ced go. I like the Arthur-Fee friendship and it's something I really want to develop over the rest of Part III.

The rest of the journey is just...a journey. Ced rediscovers his ancestral homeland and that's great, but the big point here is Lewyn's encounter with Ced. It's the big reveal to the audience that Lewyn is still alive. Lewyn points out to Ced how foolish the plan is and he redirects him to go join the Magi. Ced is so awed that he follows Lewyn's requests even though he had previously been stubbornly locked onto finding Finn and he *should* have a lot of questions for Lewyn.

The last part is mostly about tying up some ends as to integrating with the broader plot of Jugdral - re-introducing Asbel and introducing Karin especially. And giving Finn a little scene too because I don't think he needed to be completely excluded from this chapter.

Chapter 19 will correspond to the beginning of FE5 and FE4, so see you then.

Miscellaneous notes: Paola's death is a scene I had conceived of before starting this chapter. There's no deeper meaning other than the pegasus being broken-hearted now that her owner is dead. "Lady Regent" - just made up stuff, although if you recall in an earlier chapter Lewyn did not become "King" until his coronation. Needed to explain away Ced being allowed to leave Silesse. Project Naga calls the C-rank light tome just "Light" like in the Tellius games. I personally dislike that so I stuck to the "Lightning" name used in every other FE game. For a moment I thought about having an encounter between Lene and Ced in Dahna but I didn't wish to bloat the chapter. I was having difficulties getting started on this chapter anyway. I don't plan on Julia and Ced becoming close friends, though she'll probably be friends with Fee. The "because you just told me" line is ripped off from Sonic Adventure 2. That's kind of cringe but that's alright. Lewyn not sleeping is actually inspired by a comic by Jadesnapart which you can find here: https://jadesnapart.tumblr.com/post/157387711668/boy-do-i-love-julia-and-her-weird-dad-is-he-ok

Original A/N for Chapter 19:

Originally I was going to condense the entirety of the first half of Thracia 776 into one chapter. But I realized that there's just so much content that I can't really do that.

There's three different plotlines here, all of which have are tangentially linked in some way. The first, the one that is front and center, is Ced's journey with the Magi. Ced still has the goal of wanting to find his father in the back of his head but working with the Magi has become his top goal. We see a bit of his new friendship with Asbel, then we have the conversation with Asbel when he sends off Asbel to find Leif, and we also see some insight into his thinking. He deliberately puts off trying to meet Finn.

Then there's Finn's journey. Finn covers the first events of Thracia 776 that we see in the game. He's worried about Leif taking charge and being insistent on fighting the Empire head-on, but he has to acquiesce to Leif since Leif is the lord and Finn is the servant. Finn faces feelings of regret to leave Leif (and Nanna/Mareeta) in Munster but he comes to terms with the fact that he couldn't have done more.

Finally we have Fee. Fee, worried for Ced, decides to go set out to look for him. She's initially hesitant to do that when a full year hasn't passed but then the news of Seliph's rebellion reaches her. In the original game Fee goes by herself with Arthur, but in this story I have Hermina, Hawke, and Karin accompany her. Originally in the planning stages for the story I envisioned Hawke going with Ced but I realized that the story would flow better if Ced was on his own. For this chapter I also initially wanted Karin to travel and meet Ced like she does in Thracia 776 but I decided mid-chapter to not do that - it wouldn't make much sense for a squire to travel all the way to Leonster on her own and I honestly forgot to integrate her into the scene that corresponds to FE5 Chapter 4.

About the length of the chapter, I wanted the chapter to actually end with Finn reuniting with Leif and Nanna (i.e., FE5 Chapter 7) and Seliph meeting Fee and friends (i.e., FE4 Chapter 6). But I target chapters being in the 3k-5k words ballpark and this one was well over that length so that's going to get pushed to Chapter 20. Instead, I indulged myself by making a scene introducing Altena. That interaction (as well as a couple in the next chapter) is borrowed from a previous story I wrote, Divine Wind, Earth Lance - but the plotlines in that one will have to get changed since that is based on Ced being Lewyn's son.

Miscellaneous notes: Clonfert - I literally just pulled up Ireland in Google Maps and picked a name that I thought was nice. I was lazy. The villa to the south of Munster that Finn wants to visit is Dryas'. Am I foreshadowing a relationship between Arthur and Fee? Find out later... I initially wrote the name of the fort as Fort Kelves like in an earlier translation of FE5. I honestly do not care for calling it Fort Kerberos but I generally try to stick to what the newest fanslations say, so I stuck with Project Exile's name. Tina mention...I might try to sneak her into a later chapter, not sure. "His Thracian Majesty" is Travant's style to emphasize that Travant claims the entirety of Thracia, not just the South.

Feel free to kudos/comment as always and see you next week :)

[unboundtravels]

𝑶𝒏 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒍 | @spokewar

There was a heavy layer of fog over a mixed concrete-metallic platform. There was a heavy layer of metallic debris scattered for seemingly several miles, but most of it was obscured by the fog. The platform in question seemed to be an intersecting point for several bridges. In the distance, a faint rumbling was growing louder and louder... but for now, it remained distant. The rumbling was temporarily suppressed by groaning and wheezing that echoed out across the platform, pushing some of the fog away as a BLUE POLICE BOX materialized on the platform, its lantern flashing a bright blue for every second it flickered between transparency and full solidification. Eventually, the police box settled on wanting to be real, its groaning halting with a simple thud. It remained still for a few moments before the doors reading pulled to open, showing contradiction by opening inward.

A pale man with silver hair and bright blue eyes exited the Police Box. He wore strange clothes, like a brown cotton coat trailing down to the knees, a baggy pair of tan cargo pants, and dusted white sneakers. A vanilla waistcoat and orange cravat weren't the final additions to make up his outfit, however, a long flowing patterned scarf and a brown fedora adorned his features. He looked up at the sky after locking the police box. The fog made it hard to see fully, but the device in his hands beeped rhythmically. His features were determined, and fixed, and he was uncharacteristically absent of commentary as he tuned the device. He was a man on a mission.

Images flickered across his eyes for a moment, briefly distracting him while he tuned the device. Features of a friend of his... taken by less than hospitable enemies of his. They had taken his friend whilst he was trying to help her find her home, return her to where she'd been taken from... So right now, he was a man on a mission. His eyes read of a man with an intent to do anything he'd have to do to get his companion back. Right now, though, he was just focused on trying to find her. It was a snatch and grab, a quick abduction in the hasty retreat following a botched scheme. They were making periodic stops to rest their engine while they tried to figure out how to link up with their primary fleet. This traveler, The Doctor, had to find them and his friend before they linked back up with their fleet. The thought of failure was an impossibility to him. He had a promise to keep, after all. 

"Looks like they've just touched down... so wherever they are, I'm not too far." The Doctor mumbled as he used his Sonic Screwdriver to finish adjusting the tunings on his tracking device, which beeped rhythmically to indicate he was walking towards whatever he was pursuing. "But this fog... It's odd." He mumbled quietly, whiffing at it as he paused. "Doesn't really smell like fog at all... smells like..." He stopped in his tracks to look around for a moment as he looked down toward the ground. Realizing he seemed to be standing in the middle of some kind of large road, or intersection point... he began to notice that... very... very faint rumbling.

As the wind rolled in, the brief fog cleared like a curtain on a stage play. The Doctor's eyes widen as a metallic foot moves through the fog and stamps upon the ground. Rocks shatter and the ground cracks as a blaster cannon fires over his head across the road— striking what looks to be a Republic tank at the opposite end of where he is. "Oh! Of course!" The Doctor curses, "Can't have picked a better place to try and shake me off at then— The Clone Wars!!!" The Time Traveler cursed out loud, noticing that he was closer to Separatist forces than the Republic. Avoiding a few shots of blaster fire.  

Moving to try and wheeze through the wreckage and debris, The Doctor tried sticking his head up from time to time to see if someone from the right side would notice him— well, he says the right side, but knowing their future and history— a stray blaster bolt catches the debris he's near. "Right! I'll think about proper causality and effect when I'm not multi-tasking!" He curses, not really in a position where he can make a direct dash for the republic lines. It looks like the two sides are in a standoff, the Republic pinned down and Separatists holding, but slowly attempting to advance. 

~~

On republic lines, a clone officer near the command lines lowered a pair of binoculars. He was a member of the 212th Battalion. Inching past some of his brothers, the clone trooper hands the binoculars to Commander Cody, who's stationed next to the general. "Commander! General!" he stood to attention, the trooper pointing out toward the sides of the street, "Civilian!! Out in the street!!" The Trooper called out the civilian, who has currently nestled in between some pieces of debris that were affixed directly in the middle of the republic and separatist crossfire. 

The Mad fool looked like he was ready to make a dash for it.