#and he goes to rem who a lot of people avoid since rem has mind reading and memory manipulation powers

[moeblob]

OC again gomen ... (her name is Yuma)

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Dee Little Snake

Series Summary:  Janus uses age regression as a way to destress but has little control over it whenever he grows upset. Trying to keep a secret like that can be hard when you're only four years old, and thus family bonding ensues in a way nobody expected, least of all Deceit.

Chapter 2: Bottled Up

Chapter Summary:  Janus finally gets his best friend back.

Warnings: crying

Taglist (ask to be added) @a-different-s1de

It took Janus a few days to join the others at the breakfast table again, twisting his gloves behind his door in an uncharacteristically nervous way as he sucked in a breath. He didn't have anything on him to break this time, unless things somehow turned violent and his bones became a target. Shaking his head he threw his shoulders back and relaxed his face into a neutral expression. He and Patton were attempting to fix things, his relationship with Virgil was...smoothing, Logan had never really had a problem with him and Remus was well, Remus. So that just left Roman who needed to be tread especially carefully around. The odds were certainly in his favor should another altercation occur around one of the others.

But...he had cried. He had lost his cool over a seemingly insignificant item and had been so close to being small in front of one of the worst people to be small with, princely image smeared in his head with anger and petty malice reserved solely for him. He knew he had messed up, insulting Roman the way he did but his name was so much more to him than just something to call if you needed something. A name held so much weight with each and every individual who learned it and used it. A name held the entire history of the individual with it, and to have it said with such flippant mocking in a moment of such desperate trust that would change things for everyone- the implications of the act were clear. Roman hated him.

With good reason, he mused as he took another breath and opened the door, he had used him as a means to an end in his desperation to get Thomas to listen to his own self preservation. Roman had no reason to forgive him for what he had done and he didn't expect him to. He did, however, expect a bit more tact from the royal. Ignoring him and throwing insults was one thing. Blatantly destroying his things without a care was another.

Roman was sitting at the table already writing something or other in an old sketchbook, Patton frying up bacon with an endearing level of concentration at the stove. He grabbed a regular glass from the cabinet and filled it water, stomach flipping at the thought of anything else. Patton offered him a bright smile but didn't say anything; Janus didn't miss the way his eyes flicked worriedly over to Roman.

Thankfully the creative facet paid him no mind, Janus taking his seat a couple chairs away to avoid intruding and hoping he wasn't in anyone else's spot. Hearing shuffling from the doorway he turned and locked eyes with Virgil, who froze momentarily before giving him a tentative nod and walking into the kitchen. Thankfully the awkward air was somewhat saved as a plate of eggs and bacon and toast was pushed under his nose, muttering out a small "Thank you" before shoveling slightly overcooked scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"Thanks Pat." Virgil plopped down heavily beside him, taking the empty space between him and Roman, and he had only a moment to be confused and grateful before a familiar thermos was set down in front of him. Turning to Virgil with bacon still halfway to his mouth he smiled as the other shrugged and looked away. "Rem and I were able to fix it so- yeah."

Hope fluttered in his chest even as Virgil refused to look at him. He knew it was a lot to hope for, to ask for- but he couldn't help but think maybe this could be their clean slate. Maybe Virgil really would want to talk things over with him, fix things, and they could go back to how they used to be. He shook his head minutely as he put his fork back down. No, not how things used to be. He realized now their relationship had always been a bit rocky. Maybe this time...they could make things better.

He had just opened his mouth to thank him when Roman scoffed loudly, reaching forward. "I still don't understand why this is even such a big deal to you. Are these-"

He was cut off as his hand was halted with a vice grip from the anxious side, who sat still and quiet not looking at anyone. "Lay off Princey."

Roman tugged at his arm. "I just-"

Virgil's head snapped up, eyeshadow black as pitch but with a glare that could kill a man if they weren't imaginary. "Don't."

It felt as if everyone and everything in the mindscape was holding their breath as Virgil's voice, distorted as it was, rang out with a finality not even Patton dared question. Janus saw the fatherly side tense and turn, ready to dispell the situation if need be, spatula held out in front of him but whether it was to use as an a weapon or a shield Janus couldn't guess. He felt words stick in his own throat as he cursed himself for not being quicker to come up with some witty remark, dish out a glare, hell even sink out in a fit of dramatics as he was want to do. Instead he sat frozen, wide eyed and slightly hunched behind Virgil.

Anxiety protecting Self Preservation, now where was the irony?

Roman stilled and swallowed loudly, fear passing over his features before an angrier expression took over. Ripping his arm away he stood abruptly and scowled. "Great. You too? I thought you hated him!"

Before anyone could say anything he turned sharply and stalked off, his door slamming loud enough moments later to make all three of them jump. Virgil's arm was still in the same position, fingers tensed around an arm that had long gone before he flexed them with a wince and buried himself in his breakfast without another word.

"Awe, look at the little tongues!" The gentle coo brought Janus' attention to Patton who had placed the rest of breakfast on two other plates and was now looking at the thermos with adoration. "I'm glad you were able to have it fixed, kiddo!"

"I- Patton I'm older than you?" The irony definitely wasn't lost this time as Patton shrugged and settled down gesturing to a plate without looking at him.

"Logan, good morning! I made you a plate and there's some coffee left in the pot still!"

"Thank you, Patton." Logan glanced over briefly and nodded towards Virgil and Janus before pouring himself a mug and sitting down to eat, the silence a bit more comfortable with the still angry prince gone from the table.

Breakfast was a quiet affair however, conversation stopping and starting at awkward intervals. Janus noticed Virgil eating a lot slower than he would normally but nobody commented on it. He watched as Logan then Patton got up, washed their dishes and left the kitchen to go and do whatever they did during the day, leaving him and Virgil alone.

Taking a breath and shoving the last bit of bacon in his mouth Virgil stood up finally and swiped both their plates for the sink. Surprised Janus simply watched as he scrubbed them off and put them away, turning and nodding towards the thermos.

"Still like apple juice?"

"I- yessss?" Janus grimaced as a nervous hiss left his mouth but if Virgil noticed he didn't comment, unscrewing the cap of the newly fixed cup and filling it with the juice.

"Okay." Virgil slid the thermos over to him and sat down across from him with a sigh. "I'm the last side in the world who ever wants to say this, but we need to talk. We can do it here, or wherever but...yeah."

Janus nodded slowly and reached over to grip the thermos, happiness bubbling up briefly to see it fixed and functional and void of shards digging into his hands. "You'd be most comfortable in your room right?"

"This isn't about me so it doesn't matter." Janus snapped his head up and squinted at the anxious side. His eyeshadow was a shade darker than usual and his sleeves were twisted in his fingers almost painfully. Pursing his lips he nodded again.

"Why don't we go to my room then. No one goes in it anyway and I just recently cleaned so it would be a neat environment. Tidy space equals a tidy mind and all that."

"Right." Virgil huffed out a laugh as he stood up. "Now a good time?"

"Of course." Janus had a feeling what this would be about but it didnt make it any easier. He didn't particularly like discussing his regression. There wasn't anything wrong with doing it or why he did it; it was just something that happened and though he would be loathe to the idea of the others knowing he was far from ashamed of it. It was just....he and Virgil hadn't spoken- really spoken- in such a long time. He knew this would be a serious conversation, especially since the closer they got to his room the darker his eyeshadow was getting, but the determined set to his face told Janus he wasn't getting out of this. He'd be proud of his former friend if he didn't feel so much like puking.

Opening the door he gestured inside, Virgil immediately curling up in the comfortable desk chair while Janus sat stiffly on the edge of the bed. They didn't make eye contact for a minute, the tension in the room so tight he could barely breathe. And then Virgil took a steadying breath and the air became easier to suck in again, reminding Janus with a start just how much influence Virgil had to his surroundings. While he waited for the atmosphere to calm he took a swig of his juice, happiness bubbling up again as he realized how long it had been since he'd had it.

"Janus."

"Yes, Virgil?" He looked up to see the anxious side slightly more relaxed, legs curled underneath him with his hands resting on his knees. He looked tired though, slumped over with barely hidden bags under his eyeshadow. He had a feeling now was not the time to bring it up however worried the image made him.

"Have you- did you- damnit." Virgil ran a hand through his hair and took another breath. "You still regress. Which is fine! It's perfectly healthy and there's nothing wrong with it- but...has it been happening a lot? Without...without me there?"

He gripped his cup tighter and said nothing, watching with regret as Virgil's eyes widened.

"Janus...you weren't alone when it would happen right? Remus, or at least-"

"No. I was fine on my own for the most part. I simply locked my door."

"Locked your-! Janus you can't, okay. Okay, I- Janus I'm so sorry. We need...fuck okay." Virgil was sitting up straighter now, gripping his cheeks and squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen the other so worked up other than when he had left after their final argument. Janus leaned forward and cleared his throat, holding out his hands which Virgil gratefully took in a steel grip.

"I know the way we left things was...less than ideal," he started, looking at Vjrgil directly to try and drive home his point. "But I feel like we're at a point now where we can try to see where things went wrong and fix it. My habit has nothing to do with it."

His fingers were gripped tighter as Virgil laughed. "Your habit? Is that what we call it now? Janus- I need to apologize-"

"You don't."

"Shut up asshole and let me be sentimental." Janus grinned and nodded for him to continue. "The way I acted- it wasn't okay. Neither was the way you acted but that's beside the point. I'm very willing, now that the anger's cooled off, to start fresh. It's something we should have done way before this and I'm sorry for being so stubborn but...I guess it doesn't matter now. I just-"

Distangling their fingers, Virgil gripped his chin gently and tilted his head up, making him look directly into pleading eyes. "I didn't think about how my leaving would impact our trust that badly. You had no one to take care of you, and when you're small you should never have to be left to your own devices. You trusted me all those years ago to be responsible for you and I've been...I've been failing you for years. And that isn't okay."

Tears pricked his eyes and he internally cursed himself for not being able to handle this conversation. It had been years since they had been this close, years since Virgil had looked at him with anything but disdain and borderline hatred; to have him this close now, watching him with such an open expression-

Arms were around him before he even registered Virgil had moved and that was the last straw. Choking off a sob Janus gripped the back of the other's hoodie and buried his face shamefully in his friend's shoulder, years of emotions pouring out in front of the person he expected to care the least. He felt himself being shifted so Virgil could sit beside him, thighs pressing together as he was rocked gently back and forth.

"Shhh, I know. I know, Janus and I'm so sorry. I promise we'll be okay. We're okay now, I'm not leaving again. Let it out it's okay, I still love you, it's going to be okay."

And if that last statement didn't just make him sob harder. His scales itched and his face was hot and he had probably ruined the patched jacket with all of his snot but Virgil loved him. It would be okay because he was holding him and rocking him and telling him everything would be fine. They were okay. Finally, after so long of wanting to talk but never knowing how, he had finally gotten his best friend back.

Neither of them had the will to let the other go for a very long time, but Janus found himself content, as his tears finally slowed and the gentle back rub tapered off, to just sit and be held and loved.

This work and others are also available on AO3!

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[deviant3lover]

Personal Headcanons for the Trio

On a rare spark of inspiration, I’ve decided to compile my list of headcanons for the Trio for you all to look at if you’re interested. :) 

I tried my best to make them rooted in canon so that they may be plausible while still allowing me to indulge. ;)

Putting this under Read More because boy, it is long.

Metal Bat/Badd

- From my asks to @atinychai​, Badd likes traditionally masculine things because it makes him feel empowered and keeps most people away. He shows almost all the traits: being into sports, working out, being fierce and intimidating… all except for being attracted to women. (Came as a real shock to him too: his team often found girls cute but Badd couldn’t help but notice that some guys were pretty hot and nobody pointed it out. Doubly so because he loves the thought of being married one day and none of the ladies appealed to him.)

- Very straightforward thinker, but unlike Genos, he isn’t completely tactless or over the top with it. His thought process focuses on what needs to be done, what is needed to do it, and to do it ASAP. Considerations are taken into account, such as what would happen if he doesn’t do it right or in a certain way. This is especially good for him since he’s a busy guy even by S-Class standards, but it does leave him vulnerable to not thinking through long term plans that well.

- The most empathetic and physically affectionate of the three. He keeps his tough look on him in public and in private, but he’s one of the first people to offer to hug it out if you’re breaking down. 

(Obviously where no one can see it: that’s embarrassing on you and would attract too much unwanted attention to him, so he makes sure there’s no one watching. If there is, he’ll clap you on the shoulder, look you in the eye, and offer some advice and encouragement.) 

Young boys and teenagers look up to him, and they usually feel better about crying into his shirt when Badd tells them how hard it was to stop himself from bursting into tears at his first loss in a match, or when he was trying to keep quiet for Zenko’s sake at her recital.

- Continuing on that note, he keeps a nice relationship with some of his sporty fans. Not anything too intensive, but he’ll keep track of the boys who come to him asking him what he was like on his baseball team, what to do if there’s infighting in their group, which ones are worried about their baseball matches and he gives them a proud congrats if they win, or a consolation + inspiration to do better next time if they lost.

- When he’s not blinded by anger, Badd’s surprisingly pretty adept at being a social expert. His experiences of being on the baseball team + hanging out with problem students like him has given Badd a pretty good perspective on both the popular kids and the hated, loner kids, as well as what they’re going through. As a result, he’s usually well received by them. Feels a little embarrassed and uncomfortable around smart kids though, especially when they explain something that sounds a little complicated to him.

- Back in his younger days prior to all the responsibilities piled on top of him, Badd was a pretty good leader for his baseball team. He checked in regularly with his team mates, their equipment, their training regimens, and their upcoming opponents. He helped some of his team mates with confidence issues, and made sure to keep in check with how they’re doing to prevent in-team fighting. All-star baseball team in their region for sure. :3

- In the future, I imagine that Badd might take up some boxing after taking a hint from all the times monsters knocked his bat out of his hands away from him. Lost his weapon? He’ll use his fists until he can get it back again, and he’ll use them well. Turns out loves the sport, but baseball will always have a special place in his heart.

- He empathizes easily with people experiencing stress; he goes through that daily with everything he has to take care of- but he’s more clueless with issues such as mental illness. Badd’s a little insensitive about it, sometimes suggesting things to take care of it which don’t work, but he’s trying his best to understand what someone is going through and knows enough to know that it isn’t something that can’t be solved by blowing off steam or cutting off some bad things in your life. Gets pissed off if someone dismisses it as ‘something that’s all in their head’ or ‘they’re crazy’ and will confront them. Forcing apologies out of the offender isn’t out of the question. Might want to stop him before he gets too pissed off.

- Like you’d expect, he’s a pretty big fan of sports, but in a more casual way. He likes hearing about his favorite athletes, training regimens, and certain meals/diets that helped stars to build up/maintain their strength and skill, but doesn’t obsessively get himself involved in the subject. On a more sentimental note, Badd finds some solace with famous athletes because they had to work hard to get where they needed to be, and on top of that, have to deal with the pressures that come with their popularity; whether they like it or not.

- Despite not having much time to cultivate attention to honing his skill and interest in cooking, he loves Gordon Ramsay. Seeing him rip entitled, spoiled people apart with words alone and gently encouraging + teaching kids has him placed high on Badd’s list of celebrities that he respects.

- Badd is a Closeted Romantic and a Family Man. Always found it touching where in some old action/thriller films, the male married lead thinks about his wife and kids back home and tells himself that he shouldn’t die, powering through the pain/adversity to get back to them. At some point it shifted to him liking some intense drama/action movie focusing on romance where the couple race against time to get to each other before it’s too late. The idea that someone you love and treat as an equal might actually be gone forever really gets him, and if done right, he’ll cry.

- Cannot, for the love of him, focus well on books. He’s literate, but he always wants to get to the most important stuff, often skimming over details that might be important later on. This is also evident in how he writes, explaining something simply and to the point, which makes him pretty good at teaching kids basic, simplified concepts, but not so good at constructing incredibly thought out and nuanced writing. Books and audio books just aren’t immersive to him. Consequently, English is one of his worst subjects in school, and he often has to rely on online notes and essay examples to help him out.

- Extending on that, I imagine him to be a kinaesthetic/visual learner. He was born with amazing dynamic vision after all. (Under ‘Fighting Style: Keen Perception.’)

- Loves American action movies, but they’ll have to be really well made for him to remember a specific one. If you asked him about his favorite action scenes, he’ll describe it, but more often than not, he won’t remember the movie’s name unless you gave him some clues.

- (Inspired by this fanfic.) His mother died in a monster attack just moments after giving birth to Zenko. Badd used to love and respect his father, but her death lead to him spiraling down to alcohol abuse and neglect due to his grief, leading to his broken pedestal status in his son’s eyes. Badd’s still bitter over it when he thinks about it, saying that his ‘old man nursed his bottle like it was his new kid’ instead of being there for him and Zenko. Caught between poor grades in school, a rough home life, and a baby sister he didn’t know how to take care of, Badd had to convince himself that he needed to be twice the man his father is, and ever was, to get through the worst of what life had to throw at him.

- No matter how hard he tries, he still loves his father, and wants to see him endeavor to become better again. But the combined grief of seeing him crumble and give up on himself, the bitterness over his dad failing to be there for him when he needed it the most, and the anger over how seemingly self-absorbed he was in with his booze and watching the static on the TV when Badd was struggling to cope, makes him force the thought of reconciling out of his mind. Badd forces himself to be outwardly angry over what happened to avoid the conflicted feelings he has over the man he used to see as his hero.

- That being said, if you know what his father used to mean to him, you’ll see subtle signs that while Badd can’t forgive, he had never forgotten him. His father was a big sports fan too, and taught him how to properly hit a baseball. If you knew what he taught and looked closely when Badd fights or does some swings, you’ll see that the tips and tricks that he taught his son has never left him.

- Wanted to get a dog because he thought they were cool, but realized he wouldn’t have enough time for it. Begrudgingly got a cat for him and Zenko after she picked one out. He expected it to be the widespread stereotype for cats: cold, mean, and ruins your stuff… and then he saw how lovable and sweet it was and fell in love. That cat is Tama.

- Hates horror films because some of them remind him of the fact that monsters can manifest for the stupidest reasons, anywhere, anytime. It gets him worked up and restless because anything can happen, and the fact that some monsters in the past had tried to target Zenko to lure him out doesn’t make him feel any better.

- When he’s sick/injured, he sleeps. A lot. A very heavy sleeper; expect snores and heavy eyelids. Seriously, this guy is practically stuck in either Stage 4 NREM or REM sleep until severe injuries heal quite a bit, and germs making him sick are killed off.

- Does not take kindly to anyone calling him weak or stupid. Despite getting angry easily, he’s very resilient (emotionally and mentally.) He knows from experience that if he can’t resolve it quickly, it’s best to put it on the backburner until the opportunity arrives where he can, and does his best to blow off steam in the meantime. He’s not that smart academically and he knows it, but it’s still a berserk button you should stay away from because while he’ll never admit it, it hurts him to know that despite forcing himself to attend school so that he can build a future for himself and Zenko outside of hero work, he’s still failing at getting the grades he needs.

- Expanding on that, he’s smart, but it’s more akin to Saitama’s words of wisdom than eloquent, polished reasoning and beliefs; straightforward and inspiring in a simple way that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

- Don’t let him play video games. Especially rage inducing ones like Cuphead. He will crush the controller and wonder why his character isn’t responding mid-game. The keys on the keyboard are smashed in. There are cracks on the area around the buttons. There’s a Wii remote sticking out of a wall after a frustrating defeat and the wrist strap wasn’t securely fastened.

Garou

- He likes athletic wear better than punk styles. They’re easier to put on and move in, whilst the leather from some punk clothes heats up too much/gets too stiff for his liking.

 - Hates being restrained. Sometimes, on a very, very rare occasion, it can be interpreted as him being scared of the idea since he lashes out pretty angrily at it. Garou had been held down and beaten up by bullies twice, pinned against a tree and choked by Genos before escaping his blast by the skin of his teeth, and then was implied to be chained up and tortured/punished for his insolence against the MA in their torture room. He’s strong enough to escape most bindings, but he will be on edge if he feels like he can’t get out of them. If you play your cards right, his attack patterns will lack their usual cunning and be more animalistic.

- He’ll eat almost any kind of food except for sweets. It’s too sugary for him, leads to a crash later on, isn’t sustainable, and it doesn’t offer much nutritional value to him either, so he steers clear of them if he can help it. The odd exception are energy drinks. The sugary taste isn’t something he exactly likes, but Garou loves the immediate rush that kicks in soon after drinking them; the slight burn on his tongue from carbonated drinks such as coca cola is a plus.

- Loves the thrill of the challenge of almost any sort. The excitement comes from giving it his all and not knowing for sure how things will turn out; if he won, that’s another trophy to him. If he lost, he relishes in a milestone he has to beat and loves the idea that there’s still room for improvement. Winning or losing too much tends to be boring for him, and he’ll abandon it if he sees no way to rectify it.

- When he’s sick or injured, he’s a restless sleeper; it’s hard for him to get the proper hours that he needs. He drifts in and out of sleeping and waking, usually sleeping a few hours at best before waking up for 10 minutes and falling back to sleep. Being attacked while vulnerable, in places with little means of defense or shelter is a pretty good plan for monsters/bigshots who want his head and he knows it. One of the places he can sleep more peacefully at is Bang’s Dojo, but he hasn’t been back there for some time now.

- Tsundere. Not necessarily the blushy ‘I-it’s not like I like you, b-baka!!’ sort of way, but he’s a more subdued tsundere. He’ll come off as mean spirited at times, but the most reliable way of knowing he loves and cares about his loved ones is when they’re being threatened; he’ll rough up the threat so they won’t get any funny ideas in the future.

- Is Russian-French, with some (suspected) Norwegian in there. Is generally a European mutt who takes a keen interest in Asian culture, especially those that developed sick martial arts and/or those who have interesting, complex histories; however, Garou isn’t as interested in wars and political intrigue as he is in weird, clever, and hilarious events and hijinks that sound too surreal to be true… like Zhao Yun's army being outnumbered by the enemy, retreating, and him choosing to make their fortress look empty so that his enemies get suspicious, thinking that it was an ambush and withdrawing... before launching an attack on them, killing off his enemy's army by inciting chaos. (E.g. Some of them got trampled, others fell into a river and drowned.) He won.

- Continuing off of that, he generally regards European history with distaste due to how... unkind, some of them are.

- (God, I love @the-goddessfighter​‘s headcanons for Garou’s parents, so honestly? I’m all for this being 100% canon. Murata or ONE, make it happen. In my eyes, this is as good as you possibly can get with Garou’s backstory.)

Check out her tumblr for her OC’s for Garou’s parents! (Although I do headcanon Toru as a more neglectful father who didn’t care much for Garou, if at all. He didn’t sugarcoat his words to him nor try to comfort his son.)

- Prefers black/white/grey/neutral colors for his clothes, if only to avoid people saying that the colors clash and that he looks like a fashion disaster.

- It’s an unconscious move on his part, and while he usually has impeccable control over his power, sometimes his fingers feel like they’re jabbing you when he’s distracted. Especially when he grabs or hugs you. Sometimes, there are some small bruises where they’ve dug in a little forcefully. When he’s feeling affectionate or sentimental and you’re his lover, he traces over your skin, and it’s a contrasting mix between the calloused, rough textures from the fingers, and smooth, fluid movements that slide like water. It’s a distinct Garou feature, and whether you love it or hate it depends on your tastes.

Genos/Demon Cyborg

- Doesn’t care too much about his popularity, but acknowledges the work that his fans put in when it comes to promoting his work and what little information he shares that others will pick up on. E.g. He doesn’t like to be bothered when he’s busy/with that bald guy, but otherwise is OK with signing a few autographs and shaking hands, he avoids certain obnoxious fangirls, he hates it when there’s a group and they crowd him, etc.

- Despite appreciating this info circulating so that some fans are more mindful about how they interact with him, he’s one of the hardest heroes to connect with due to how cold, closed off, busy, and/or socially awkward he may be. Not that many of his fans mind, as it feeds into the mysterious ‘Cyborg Prince’ fantasy that’s popular in his fan base.

- Thinks that Nice Guys/GirlsTM and people who use ‘I’m an Alpha, those betas/omegas can suck it’ are pathetic. At best. He thinks that they’re compensating for something instead of actually trying to improve themselves: for the latter, the added weight of using a disproved scientific theory makes him lose respect for them even more.

- He has a certain amount of fondness for fauna and flora. Prior to meeting Saitama, he’s had to travel long distances in search of the Mad Cyborg, and more often than not, company is fleeting, leaving him alone most of the time. Flowers by the side of the path, blue skies, the sound of chirping birds, or even some berries with rainwater droplets on them are familiar, nice sights that put him at ease. Some of his notebooks outside of taking notes on Saitama have hand drawn illustrations and notes on some plants he’s encountered, as well as their various uses.

- Conversely, barren cities will put him on high alert. Buildings act as great hiding spots, and Genos isn’t a stranger to being ambushed by monsters and criminals alike. (His eyes can be a great asset in these situations; scanning for threats and movements can give him a heads up on how dangerous the area is.)

- His sense of humor is pretty dark, if not outright sadistic at times; especially towards the people he hates. Otherwise, he likes making (mostly. Key word is mostly) harmless jabs and teases at those he loves because he finds it funny when the other person gets riled up/flustered. His tone and expressions don’t change (most of the time) when he makes them though, making it hard for others to know whether or not he’s joking until he clarifies on the matter.

- Hates those who spread misinformation about medicine, or demonizes scientists. He cares about keeping the public safe, and admires/respects science for everything it’s discovered for the sake of humanity: people such as those are a direct attack on both.

- Though on the outside he takes even the most inconsequential things seriously, to the point where he’s gullible and too honest to lie, he keeps his more solemn thoughts to himself and ingrains them at the back of his mind so that he’ll never forget them. His notebooks don’t hint at them even existing. The only way you’ll ever get to hear them is when you directly attack something he holds very dear to him (beliefs, values, aspirations) so that he may fiercely (and furiously) defend them. He berated Saitama for seemingly making a joke at his expense, but he was somewhat more lenient since he knew that Saitama wielded the power he needed. He won’t be nearly as nice if you’re not someone he likes or respects, so it’s a sure-fire way to get onto his blacklist.

- Is German-Japanese. German father, Japanese mother, though a lot of people mistake him for being fully German thanks to his looks. He understands some parts of the language, but isn’t fluent in speaking it. Japanese he’s fully fluent in, and English is getting to that point as well.

- He doesn’t usually use pet names if he gets a lover, but if he’s fallen in love hard, they get sort of ridiculous and a little cheesy. ‘My beloved’ and ‘darling’ are the most modest ones, but you’ll have to stop him from going after extremely specific and loving nicknames because they blur the line between being hilarious and embarrassing.

- Awesome at stake outs, and often keeps a first aid kit handy in his temporary bases (in the case of civilian injury) alongside a repair kit for himself. Genos is incredibly well prepared just from the equipment he has inside them, but unlike other matters (such as learning how to fold clothes efficiently and going taking it far too seriously), Genos shows pretty good judgment in how he sets them up. He doesn’t take more than what’s needed, and prepares some emergency supplies just in case there’s a new development and he needs to stay a bit longer. He’s learned from experience that taking too many things for them makes it harder for him to clear his tracks, and in return, the enemy (or enemies) that he’s been keeping an eye on might catch onto the fact that they’re being watched, making it harder for him to discover new information.

Shared Traits & Other Bits

- The no-brainer: you will get intimidated into fleeing if you mess with them. Things may get physical if you target their family/loved ones. Injuries vary depending on level of apologetic attitude, how much of a threat you pose, how far you’ve pushed things, etc. Best case scenario is that you flee the scene with no injuries, but scared out of your mind.

- Badd and Genos use the same nickname for their lover: ‘Darling.’ Although Badd will say it as ‘Darlin’’ instead. Other than that, their nicknames are fairly different, with Badd going for things such as ‘sweet cheeks,’ ‘babe,’ and ‘sweetheart.’

- Both Genos and Garou have the tendency to mess with people for their own amusement. Garou comes in the form of taunting and goading, whilst Genos likes to make underhanded comments and jokes that will infuriate you.

- Genos and Garou like books. Genos however, is more introverted and will share his knowledge more thoroughly when prompted by someone who needs it. Garou being Garou, you wouldn’t even know he was into reading until he offhandedly mentions a bit of knowledge from a book he read. Odds are you won’t have time to ask him if he knows how to do x because he would have already gotten up to do it before you can open your mouth. This occurrence is far more common in emergencies.

- Genos doesn’t take any visible joy in fighting. He sees monsters as a threat to society that must be eliminated quickly and effectively. Badd used to enjoy throwing himself into battles and coming out of them victorious, but thanks to time and HA’s obligations, he sees monsters as destructive assholes getting in his way and creating more work for him when he’d rather come home to catch up on other things on the forefront of his mind. Garou loves fighting, the challenge- but it has diminished by a notable amount after his webcomic arc as he’s reflecting on what he needs and wants to do now. Despite this, he usually keeps his eye out for any interesting challenges, if only to distract himself.

- Slightly digressing from the Trio: Zenko shares the burden of taking on responsibilities with Badd, though he doesn’t know they exist. She’s aware of the fact that her brother isn’t living a normal teenage life and is bothered by the fact that he can’t act like his own age most of the time, making her want to be headstrong, capable, and independent soon so he doesn’t have to worry about her. At the same time, she knows that there aren’t many heroes his age that he can get along with, so she tries to fill in that hole by spending time with him while finding heroes she likes, and hopefully her brother will like- the reason being is that hopefully, Badd will make friends with them, and she can meet her idol often! It’s part of the reason why she was so insistent in having him obtain AM’s signature.

- Genos can sing, but sometimes struggles with singing with enough emotion in his lyrics. Garou can sing pretty well, (and sings almost every Disney villain song like a champ) but he’d be resistant to others goading him into it. He’s pretty uncomfortable at the notion that he’d have to sing in front of people. Badd can… sing, but he’s best at singing the lullabies he sung to a baby Zenko- songs that get him into it can have him be really, really into it; to the point where it’s almost embarrassing to watch. He’s pretty good at rap/singing more sentimental pieces such as this:

[pufflyhallows]

Happiness

Gif not mine

Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader

Summary: Remus has been distancing himself from you as he realized something that broke his heart. 

Warnings: ANGST, language

Word count: 4,7k

********

You felt worn out. Your relationship with Remus had become a puzzle and it was nearly impossible to solve it. To say you were tired was an understatement. You had spent nights awake trying to understand what had happened to the fire you two had when you first started dating, six years ago. It felt like he didn’t love you anymore. He had been so distant and cold towards you, always avoiding conversations and touches. It was hurting you so bad, and the fact that you didn’t even know why he was acting that way made things worse. It had all started so suddenly.

One Monday night, when he got home from work, he went straight to your shared bedroom without saying a word to you, who was sitting on the couch in the living room, waiting for him. Your heart ached, but by that time you were already used to it. He did the same thing on Tuesday, and then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Why was he doing that to you?

On Saturday, he told you he had plans with Sirius and left you alone the entire day. Sunday, you were the one who left him alone.

You knocked at the door and waited. A few seconds later, a tired James opened it.

“Y/N! Come in, come in,” he stepped aside so you could enter the house, “Lily is upstairs putting Harry to sleep. I was trying to cook something for lunch, but I’m having a surprisingly hard time.”

“Do you want some help?” you asked, taking off your coat and hanging it on the coat hook.

“If Lily was around, I would say no because you’re a guest, but… yes, please.”

You smiled and followed him to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, you managed to save his spaghetti while he made pumpkin juice.

“So,” James said as he set the table for three, “How’s Moony?”

“Good,” you lied, you didn’t want to take the risk of James telling Remus that you were worried, “Just working a lot.”

“Oh yeah, I totally get that.”

“And how’s little Harry?” you asked, leaning on the sink and crossing your arms.

“Showing me that parenting is harder than a Quidditch match in a stormy night against the Irish National Team all by yourself,” he sighed, “but also a lot more gratifying.”

You shared a grin before Lily came in the kitchen.

“I knew I had heard the voice of an angel,” she joked.

“Aw, babe!” James covered his mouth with one hand and placed the other on his chest, in a fake flattered manner.

“I was talking about Y/N,” she playfully rolled her eyes and came closer to hug you.

You hugged her back tightly. You needed that so bad and Lily could tell immediately that you weren’t okay.

“How are you?” she whispered in your ear through the hug.

“Good,” you lied again, knowing that Lily would take the hint and not bring up the subject in front of James.

“Let’s eat,” she smiled at you after you let go of each other.

That was the best lunch you had in weeks. Not because of the food, but because the people with you simply acknowledged your presence at the table, something that wasn’t happening when you were with Remus.

Your conversation with James and Lily was interrupted by a crying Harry. James went upstairs to put him back to sleep, leaving you and Lily alone in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as she heard James closing the door.

“Remus,” you replied, already feeling the tears coming, “I think he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“What?! That’s impossible, Y/N. Remus is completely in love with you. What makes you think that?”

“He’s been so distant and so cold! He doesn’t talk to me anymore. It’s like he’s always in his mind, never here with me. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“I do. Have you tried asking him why?”

“I have! He says nothing has changed, that he’s fine, that it’s all in my head. But I know it’s not! I know something is up. Remus is not like that at all.”

Lily didn’t know what to say. It seemed like you had already tried to fix things. And you had! She didn’t know how she could help you.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” she offered.

“I don’t know… Maybe. I don’t wanna break up with him, Lily,” you said as the tears began to fall down, “But sometimes I feel like that’s the only option.”

“No, it’s not! We’ll figure it out. Just give me a second.”

She thought about it for a couple of minutes while you played with the food on your plate before she spoke again.

“Listen, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m gonna convince James to leave Harry with a babysitter so we can have a night out on Friday. I’m gonna invite Sirius, Peter, Marlene and Dorcas. And you invite Remus, but make sure he goes with you. If he says he doesn’t want to, use the excuse of me and James being too busy and never having the chance to go out with you guys or whatever. Use your creativity! The rest is on me.”

“What are you going to do?” you frowned.

“I’m just gonna talk to him. Don’t worry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week went by rather quickly. You decided to talk to Remus only on Thursday night, so he wouldn’t have much time to change his mind in case he said yes.

When you were silently having dinner, you cleared your throat.

“Remus?” you called, received a ‘hm’ in response and he didn’t look up at you, which was something quite discouraging, but you kept going. “I forgot to tell you, but Lily and James found a nice babysitter to stay with Harry tomorrow night. They’re going to this party and… they want us to go too as it’s been a while since they last went out with us.”

Your boyfriend stopped cutting the meat on his plate.

“I think Sirius mentioned it yesterday. I’m not sure if I want to go, though,” he said, looking down at his food.

“But they never get to go out now. They’re counting on us, Remus,” you argued.

“You can go, Y/N,” he finally looked up at you.

“I don’t want to go alone.”

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood,” he stated in his usual cold tone and started cutting his meat again, as if the conversation was over.

“Please, Rem,” you practically begged, “If not for me, for them.”

Your boyfriend sighed, apparently giving in, but you still needed to hear him say.

“Okay.”

“Thank you,” you smiled sadly and reached for his hand, but he moved it away to grab his glass, a visible excuse.

Twenty four hours later, you were having a shower. The outfit you had picked for the occasion was one Remus was really fond of. Maybe that would help, you didn’t know.

When you left the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around you, Remus was already dressed up, just putting on his shoes.

“Am I late?” you asked jokingly, hoping he would joke back.

“No,” he answered coldly again, “I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

“Okay,” you replied in a hurt, quiet tone.

That made Remus hesitate before leaving the room, which gave you hope he still cared. But he did leave without saying anything, so it didn’t really matter.

You put on your dress and sighed. The first time you wore that dress, Remus said he had never seen a more beautiful woman. The memory made you feel sad.

Shrugging off the feeling, you put on your makeup quickly as it was close to the time Lily had asked you to show up. When you were satisfied with the result, you grabbed your purse and left the room.

“I’m ready,” you announced as you stepped in the living room.

While you searched for your wand, Remus watched you. He couldn’t look away, you looked so beautiful. That dress... He remembered the first time he saw you in that dress. It was your fourth anniversary and you celebrated it by going out at night by yourselves. It was just the two of you freely wandering around town. You went to a fancy restaurant and had dinner, vowing to never go back there again because you had spilled wine on the white tablecloth, and then you went to a club, not staying long because it was too hot. He remembered you joking that the two of you could act like a young couple in a hour and as an old one in the next. He remembered all that in a second. 

“Found it,” you whispered more to yourself than him and put the wand in your purse, “Let’s go?”

He nodded slowly and you held his hand. The moment you touched him, you realized it was the first time in days. You two disapparated and soon were standing in front of the big house where the party would take place. There were people everywhere: in the front yard, inside the house, on the porch, in the backyard… Every part of the house was full.

Remus let go of your hand and you both entered the house. The music was really loud inside and there were so many people that you lost sight of him. You looked around and didn’t see him anywhere, until a hand was gently placed on your waist. It was your boyfriend. That small action made you feel the butterflies from the beginning of your relationship, probably because you hadn’t been that intimate in weeks.

“I saw Sirius,” Remus said in your ear, “This way.”

You followed him to a corner of the house, where Sirius and Marlene were talking.

“Moony! Y/N! I’m glad you’re here,” Sirius hugged Remus and then you.

“Me too,” you smiled at him, “Hey, Marls.”

“Hey, babe,” she hugged you tight and greeted Remus, “Do you guys want a drink?”

“I do,” you replied, but Remus shook his head.

Marlene handed you a shot of… whatever that was and you quickly downed it.

“Where are the others?” you asked.

“Peter said he was going to the bathroom and disappeared. Dorcas is snogging a girl over there and James and Lily haven’t arrived yet,” Sirius answered.

“They haven’t?” you frowned, “Do you think they had a problem with the babysitter?”

“Last time I talked to Lily, which was an hour ago, everything was good,” Marlene said, “They’re probably just late.”

Remus was quiet, just observing the people in the house and regretting going to that party.

“Whose house is this?” he asked Sirius.

“I don’t know,” the young man shook his head, “An acquaintance of Lily, I think.”

“There they are,” Marlene pointed at behind you and you turned around quickly. James and Lily walked towards you with smiles on their faces. You felt the nervousness build up in your core as you knew the time was coming closer.

“Oh, how I missed loud music and crowded environments!” James joked as he hugged each person of the group. Lily did the same.

“I’m glad you could make it,” she said in your ear, “Now just relax and enjoy the party, preferably away from Remus.”

“What?” you frowned at her. Your boyfriend was talking to his fellow Marauders a few steps away from you and Lily.

“Trust me. He’s not gonna tell me anything with you around,” she explained, “Go have fun with Marls, she already knows.”

“You told her?” you looked shocked at Lily.

“Not everything. I just asked her to make you company. Don’t worry, I’m not a snitch,” she poked you in the rib.

“Okay,” you breathed, “I think I need more drinks.”

You spotted a bar on the other side of the house and decided it was a good call to go there with Marlene. You invited her to join you and she gladly accepted.

When you walked away, Lily approached Remus.

“Okay, why don’t you have a drink in your hand?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, Lily. I’m not drinking tonight,” he chuckled at the facial expression she had after he said that.

“No friend of mine will stay sober at this party,” she warned him, “James, can you grab a drink for Rem here?”

“Lily, it’s really not necess-”

“Sure!” James replied and walked over to the bar.

“You have no choice, Moony,” Sirius said, “What Lily wants, Lily gets.”

“Good boy,” she teased.

“Yeah, I guess I don’t,” Remus sighed.

“Hey, guys,” Peter approached them. He had a lipstick stain on his neck.

“Way to go, Wormy!” Sirius laughed and patted his friend on the shoulder. 

“I-I got lost,” Peter tried to explain himself.

Lily and Remus smiled at each other, knowing for a fact that it was a complete shameless lie.

“Here it is,” James arrived with Remus’ drinks, “Two shots of tequila for starters.”

“Two?!” your boyfriend looked at his friend with widen eyes, “Don’t you think that’s too much?”

“Nope,” Lily answered before James had the chance, “Now down it like a big boy.”

James handed Remus the drinks and went back to the bar to get more for his friends and himself.

“Okay,” Remus took a deep breath and downed the first shot. It burned everything it touched, but the feeling actually felt nice. Before he could change his mind, he downed the second one.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Sirius grinned when James came back with more drinks.

The small group of friends started drinking, chatting and dancing. Lily was the only one who wasn’t drinking alcohol, as she was a breastfeeding mom, and she also wanted to stay in her right mind so she could execute her plan.

Dorcas joined them after a while, looking for Marlene. When Lily told her where she was, the girl left towards the bar.

“Hello, my beautiful girls,” she greeted you and Marlene.

“Hey, Dork,” Marlene replied with the nickname Dorcas hated, receiving the middle finger in return.

“I came here to demand a dance. Let’s go,” she pulled you and Marlene to the improvised dance-floor, leaving your drinks behind.

The three of you started moving to the fast beat of the song. It didn’t take long for a guy to show up and start hitting on Marlene, who began to dance with him. Seeing that, you felt sad. How you missed dancing like that with Remus. You wondered if Lily was talking to him at that point.

At the other side of the house, Sirius was already dancing with a girl he had approached. Peter had gone missing again and James and Lily talked to Remus. 

When Lily saw the opportunity, she asked James to go get more drinks for them, which he did, leaving her alone with Remus. She needed to check if it was time to make a move.

“Y/N is dancing over there,” she said and Remus looked over to the dance-floor, seeing you with Dorcas, “Why don’t you join her?”

“I don’t really dance,” he replied. She knew that was a lie, which meant she needed him to drink more for her plan to work.

James came back with more shots and handed a couple to Remus. Since he was loosening up already, he didn’t reject the drinks. He downed them quickly and shook his head to get rid of the burning feeling. Lily watched patiently, waiting for him to get tipsy. She moved closer to James and whispered in his ear, asking him to go look for Peter because ‘she was worried’. The young man did as his wife asked and left the two friends alone again. She felt bad for using James like that, but it was for a greater good.

When Lily saw Remus starting to move to the beat of the song, she knew the time was coming closer and closer.

“So, what’s up, Rem?” she approached him, dancing as well. She needed him as comfortable as possible.

“Nothing different from usual,” he answered, “There’s this really annoying guy at work, though, who is driving me crazy.”

“Tell me about him.”

From across the house, you tried to see where Remus was, but the place was too crowded for that.

“Relax, Y/N,” Marlene put an arm around your shoulder, “Here.”

She gave you another shot of tequila and you downed it. You sure needed to relax.

“Thanks,” you smiled at her.

“You’re welcome, hun.”

“Excuse me,” a guy said next to you, “I couldn’t not watch you from where I was. You’re really beautiful. Can I have a dance?”

You looked at him quite surprised. Was he talking to you or Marlene?

“Of course you can,” she replied pushing you towards him. “It’s just a dance. Relax,” she added as a whisper in your ear and walked away back to the bar, leaving you alone with the guy.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Y/N,” you answered unsure.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Tom,” he smiled and reached for your hand, placing a soft kiss on it. You felt really uncomfortable with that, you couldn’t do it.

“Nice to meet you too, Tom. I’m sorry, but I have a boyfriend and he’s here at the party,” you explained, stepping back.

“Really? Wow,” he frowned, “What kind of man leaves his gorgeous girlfriend alone at a party?”

You didn’t say anything, feeling too embarrassed for that. Tom walked away and approached another girl, probably using the same pick-up line.

You sighed.

“What was that?” Marlene showed up next to you.

“‘Of course you can’, huh?” you gave her a bitter look, “You know I couldn’t do that to Remus.”

“It was just a dance!” she protested, “It’s no harm.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” you shook your head and walked away.

At the opposite side of the house, Lily danced with Remus.

“…and then he said I needed to read more about those potions,” he snorted, “As if I didn’t know about them already. I was the one who brought them up in the first place!”

“Yeah, that guy is an idiot,” Lily nodded. She had to make Remus comfortable, which meant she had to listen to everything he had to say before she could ask the things she wanted to know.

“He is,” Remus agreed. He was really tipsy by now, letting out all the things that bothered him, even the silliest ones.

“But tell me, Rem. How’s everything at home?”

“It’s...” he looked around, searching for you. When he remembered you were far away with the girls, he looked back at Lily, “It’s terrible. I’m an asshole.”

“Don’t say that, you’re not an asshole,” Lily touched his shoulder, “What happened?”

“I can’t give Y/N what she wants and deserves,” he answered, starting to dance again.

“And what is that?”

“A future like yours with James. You know, get married, have children… all that.”

“And why don’t you want that?”

“What?! You think I don’t want that?” he laughed, “Of course I want that! I just can’t...”

“I don’t understand.”

“Come with me,” Remus clumsily took Lily’s hand and pulled her to the front yard, where the music was muffled and they could talk, “Do you really wanna know what happened?”

Lily nodded, worried and slightly scared.

“After Harry was born, Y/N started talking about her future and how she wants to get married and have her own baby one day. But I can’t give her that. I don’t want Y/N to have the eternal responsibility of watching over me during my transformations. I can’t do that to her, I can’t be a burden. And I can’t even imagine how it would be if we had a baby and they were like me! I don’t have the strength to break up with her, because she is the love of my life. So I’m here, being an asshole, hoping that she’ll realize all of this by herself and dump me, so she can find the right man for her, who will make her happy. But I’m also dreading the day that happens because, like I said, she is the love of my life. And it kills me every day that I’m hurting her, but I don’t know how to deal with this. I am an idiot, Lily, and that’s what happened.”

Lily looked at Remus completely speechless. She didn’t even know how to react. That was too much. She wanted to help! But she didn’t know how.

“Remus,” her voice barely came out as a whisper, “Y/N loves you more than anything in this world.”

The man looked away.

“Talk to her,” she gently held his chin to make him look back at her, “Just talk to her.”

“I can’t,” he shook his head and stepped back, “I’m sorry.”

With a loud crack, Remus disapparated.

Lily rushed back to the house, searching for you, but she found only Marlene and Dorcas talking to each other with their drinks in their hands by the bar.

“Where’s Y/N?” she asked Marlene and the girl sighed.

“I fucked up. She went home.”

“What do you mean you fucked up?!”

“I wanted her to have fun! But she said she couldn’t do it to Remus,” Marlene replied in a clumsy way, visibly drunk, “Then she walked away saying that the party was a mistake and disapparated. I think she was crying.”

“Shit, Marls!” Lily took a deep breath, trying not to panic.

“I’m sorry! Okay?! I didn’t mean to upset her,” Marlene downed her drink aggressively.

“It’s not your fault,” Lily shook her head, “She’s upset about something else.”

“Lily, relax. Have a drink,” Dorcas handed her a glass, “Y/N will be fine.”

“I should go to her apartment, talk to her…”

“Been there, done that. She made it very clear that she wants to be alone,” Dorcas raised an eyebrow, “She’s not drunk. She’ll be fine.”

Dorcas managed to calm Lily down a little, but she was still worried. Her plan had not only failed, but also taken a completely unexpected turn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You apparated in your apartment sobbing. Dorcas came after you trying to fix what Marlene had done, but she hadn’t done anything wrong, she wasn’t the reason you had left the party. You asked Dorcas to go away, reassuring her you would be fine, you just needed to put your thoughts in order.

What kind of man leaves his girlfriend alone?

“The kind that doesn’t love you anymore,” you whispered to yourself through the tears.

You fell on the couch and cried for a while, trying desperately to get rid of the tightness in your chest. Everything was so overwhelming, you felt so exhausted. You just wanted those feelings to go away… You knew it didn’t really make sense to cry about it, but you couldn’t help it. Maybe you kept it locked for too long...

You gathered the remaining strength in your body and stood up from the couch, your steps faltering a little towards the bathroom. You didn’t take off your clothes before turning the shower on. 

You lost track of time in there. The thought of not being loved by the man you loved so much was haunting you.

Six years. Six years of building a strong, solid love…

“Happy anniversary,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

“The first of many,” you smiled back and pressed your lips on his.

The stubborn memories flashed through your head as if Remus was fucking dead.

“Would you… um… Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me? Like, on a date,” he asked nervously.

“Yes! I would love to.”

You got out of the shower and took off all your clothes, throwing them on the floor. 

“I’m Y/N,” you held out your hand.

“Remus,” he shook it.

You opened your wardrobe and grabbed the first thing you saw to put on. Barefoot and with your hair still humid, you went to the kitchen. You needed a hot cup of tea. Lily was probably talking to him at that moment and you felt a bit silly for breaking down so prematurely.

But then you heard it. The familiar loud crack, being followed by heavy and fast steps that went straight to the bedroom.

You put the empty cup back in the cupboard and took a deep breath. Should you go there? Lily had already talked to him, probably. Or maybe not. You couldn’t know.

You thought you would hear him do the usual: take a shower and go to bed; but you didn’t hear anything. The apartment was quiet. You began to worry. Deciding it was a waste of time to just stand there thinking, you walked towards the closed door.

When you touched the doorknob, you heard a sniff. Was he… was he crying?

You opened the door and saw Remus sitting on your shared bed, resting his elbows on his knees and with his head down, a suitcase by his side. He looked up at you with a surprised look, allowing you to see the tears falling down.

“What are you doing?” you asked, looking at the suitcase.

“I thought… I thought you were at the party,” he replied. At least, he was talking.

“What’s the bag for?” you pointed at it.

Remus looked at it and immediately started to cry more intensely, hiding his face on his hands, sobbing.

“Rem…” you sat on the bed by his side and pulled him for a hug, your tears falling down as well, “What’s going on?”

You knew the answer, but you refused to accept it. There was a tiny little part of you that still had hope he would say anything but ‘I’m leaving’.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he sobbed, hiding his face on the crook of your neck this time, “I can’t.”

You hugged him tighter, placing one hand on the back of his head and slowly caressing his hair.

“Shh… Breathe.”

“I can’t,” he repeated, “I have to go.”

“You’re drunk,” you whispered in his ear, trying to hold back the tears and be the rational one in the situation, “You’re not thinking straight.”

“Can’t you see, Y/N?” he let go of you to look in your eyes, the view you had was heartbreaking, he was a mess, “I’m no good for you.”

“That is complete nonsense, Remus. What happened? Why are you saying all of this?”

“I can’t marry you,” he sobbed, earning a shocked look from you, “I can’t give you a family. I know that’s what you want! And I want it too but… I’m a monster, I can’t do that to you.”

“Do what?” you frowned, “You’re not a monster!”

Remus shook his head and stood up.

“I would be a burden to you. In fact, I already am,” he looked at you, the tears never stopping from falling, “And how would I ever forgive myself if I knowingly risk passing on my own condition to an innocent child?”

“Rem… You are not and you never will be a burden,” you stood up as well, “You’re the man I love!”

“Y-You need someone to make you happy and I’m not-”

“You already make me happy!”

“I can’t give you what you want!”

“I want you!” you broke down, sitting on the bed again as you felt your knees weaken. You hid your face on your hands just like your boyfriend had done before, sobbing.

Remus watched you without knowing what to do. It killed him to see you like that because of him. But he had to do it! He had to set you free so you could be happy.

“You don’t love me anymore…” you said between sobs, suddenly, “Just tell me already. It’s easier than coming up with all those shitty excuses to dump me.”

“Excuses?” Remus felt offended, “They’re the truth! I love you, Y/N. More than anything I’ve ever loved in my entire life. You are by far the best thing that ever happened to me. And I can’t ruin you like that…”

“Ruin me?” you moved your hands from your face so you could look at him, “I love you! How many times do I have to say this? All those things you mentioned – marriage, children – all that only matters if it’s with you! I want that with you. But if you don’t want to, it’s… it’s okay… I want you more than any of those things.”

Those words moved Remus deeply, because he knew how much having your own family meant to you, and if you were willing to give up on that for him… Merlin.

He stared at you, not knowing what to say. He also felt dizzy, but he couldn’t tell if it was the shock of the moment or the alcohol. Probably both.

“Come here,” you said, patting on the mattress beside you, after wiping your tears.

Remus slowly sat down next to you.

“You are drunk,” you whispered, taking his hand in yours, “Let’s go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

For your relief, he nodded.

You stood up and closed the door, while Remus changed his clothes.

Soon enough, you were both on the bed, lying down and looking up, a few inches apart.

The minutes went by and you could only hear his soft breathing, a sound that always made you feel safe.

You didn’t know how long it took for you to fall asleep, but you were sure the last thing you heard before closing your eyes was a heavy ‘I’m sorry’.

********

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL RE:ZERO REWATCH Prepares for Battle In Episodes 16-20

Hello again, and welcome to the penultimate installment of the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL RE:ZERO REWATCH hosted by me, David Lynn! Last time on Re:Zero, everything fell apart in spectacular fashion for Subaru, and he hasn't taken it well. This week we venture further into Subaru's self-destructive tendencies that last week established, but end up moving toward a resolution every party may be happy with. Most satisfylingly, the issues with Subaru that commenters Pure6Evil and Heavenspiercing brought up last week come to the forefront with the developments here. But how does our panel feel about it? Let's find out!

    Let’s start with the biggest moment, the entirety of episode 18. Subaru’s self-destructive arc ever since the royal selection began comes to a head, and both he and Rem are forced to face their issues. Was this a satisfying payoff for you?

Kara: Yes… and no? From a purely fictional standpoint I really love the scene. The voice actors did an amazing job, Rem’s description of a happy life with Subaru got me in the heart, and it really did seem to be cathartic. If these were two of my real-world friends, I would probably bop Subaru in the head for asking Rem to be his #1 cheerleader right after the bait-and-switch he pulled on her, then take Rem out for margaritas and teach her how to be a good friend to him that still calls him out on his BS.

Paul: I'm glad that Subaru is finally addressing his personality problems, which he admits stems from a deep-seated sense of self-loathing. I'm less satisfied with Rem being there to prop him up. Social support is great when you're dealing with these kind of issues, but it felt like Rem was going beyond that, to the point where she was almost volunteering to annihilate her own self-hood for Subaru's sake, and that's not ideal. At least she shot down the idea of them running away together.

Noelle: I’m mixed on this. On one hand, Subaru being honest with himself, that he’s not a hero, that he is well aware of his flaws and how deeply rooted they are, that’s pretty good! A lot of this segment was him lashing out at things not going the way he ideally wanted, and being able to admit his own flaws was satisfying. Acknowledging faults is the best way to start working past them! Rem talking about how happy Subaru makes her is very sweet, letting herself have some personal happiness. But that Subaru instantly gets better and more charismatic after a girl gives him her love… that’s not really such a good look. Subaru’s problems run deep, and having a heroine in his life that loves him shouldn’t instantly change things around. And it doesn’t! Subaru still feels like the same person, self-hate or no! Give him more confidence, sure, but the way things were handled didn’t leave me too pleased.

Kevin: In short, that conversation is fighting for my favorite moment in the entire show. It does go a bit too over the top with Rem’s later parts, both in terms of animation (why so many birds? Where did they come from?!) and her actual confession, but any time that two characters have a conversation for 15 minutes and it’s engaging almost the entire time, clearly the show’s doing something right.

Joshua: This moment really was a long time coming for Subaru. After shouldering so much pain and trauma from the time loops, it was inevitable that the emotional pot was going to boil over, and spill out. While it’s easy for us and other characters to criticise him, Subaru’s admission that he hates himself was painful to watch. He’s made monumental mistakes like at the royal selection, but he’s also shouldering a lot of blame he can’t even tell anyone about. Having to watch loved ones die over and over, struggling to save them only to fail again at the next stage… I don’t blame him for wanting out. As Rem said though, that wouldn’t be the Subaru she loves. Rem countering Subaru’s self-loathing by pointing out what she loves about him was so sweet and moving. That whole scene was beautiful and a definite highlight of the series for me, although the “I love Emilia” line that sent the fanbase into a rage, sure did end it on a bum note. I just wish Rem could find someone who will reciprocate the love she deserves, because while she may be a demon, she’s an absolute angel.

Jared: I think for me, I don’t know that he’s actually done anything to improve himself. Having a big vent session like that can be cathartic when you’re bottling up all kinds of emotions like he clearly is, but trying to justify all the crappy things he did by saying he hates himself doesn’t do a whole lot for me. The fact that he has an idea where this all comes from is good. He just now has to actually learn from what he did and that’s where I don’t know that he’s actually come to that conclusion or even had it cross his mind. Considering by the end of it he’s back to thinking he’s the only one that can be the hero and save everything. It all just seems like an excuse for him to show why he’s been a complete turd and then have him do nothing to show that he’s going to improve in any sort of way.

Carolyn: I hated it at first. Rem was being super sweet and supportive and Subaru was being extremely self-centered even in his admission that he hates himself. She was telling him how she sees him and he kept turning it around to his own feelings. I loved it when she called him out a little bit… and then absolutely hated it again when she decided to cheer him on when he completely stomped on her heart.

Danni: I’m real glad this little character arc is over for Subaru. I’m not going to lie, it hit real close to home when he came around and admitted he had just been overcompensating for his own self-loathing. Self-loathing is a real vicious cycle. When you spend all your time stuck in your own head you become acutely aware of your own flaws and become paranoid that everyone else is just as aware of them. It’s tough to admit your own flaws and even tougher to own up to them, which Subaru finally did. Real maturity means being able to see things outside of your own point-of-view, and that means trusting in the things the people around you see in yourself that you cannot. I think Subaru took an important step towards maturity by accepting Rem’s love for him, and he showed even more maturity by being honest with her about his own feelings. The worst thing he could have done for her is avoided her feelings or lied about his own.

Austin: Personally, yes. I’ve seen this scene a few times now since I always end up rewatching it when I go to grab screenshots from it and every single time it’s made me cry. I love their putting everything out on the table, I love their monologues and how they paint a crystal clear picture as to what’s going on in each of their heads, and I love the conclusion as the laugh about their future. I was never (and likely never will be) frustrated that he rejected Rem, since it’s clear that he was doing it out of desperation and Rem could easily tell.

  The two sides of this arc—the royal selection and the Witch’s Cult—seemed like completely unrelated events up to this point. Do you like how the show managed to pull them together at the last minute?

Kara: I kind of suspected they’d be tied together because I get very Occam’s Razor about shorter anime (I know this comes from a long-running light novel, but I’ve not read it and we only just learned about a new season). That said, I do like where this is going. I’m always interested in world-building, and this is finally getting us into the meat of a lot of things I’ve been curious about.

Paul: Are they pulled together? I still don't know why the Witch Cult is targeting Emilia specifically, or what stake—if any—they have in the royal selection. With only 5 episodes left in this season, I fear we won't see a satisfying resolution to this story-line, because there's been a whole lot of “mystery box” style set-up and not a lot of pay-off.

Noelle: I’m with Paul on this one, that it doesn’t really feel that cohesive. Several times I found myself wondering what exactly the cult wanted. While I could certainly guess, there’s nothing really concrete to confirm things so far. They’re interesting plot points separately, but it doesn’t feel like they’ve managed to mesh very much.

Kevin: I like it on a conceptual level, because it helps make the world feel more interconnected by having different factions play off of each other. On a practical level, I feel like the Cult got revealed a bit too soon, and without enough gravity. When Subaru is having multiple mental breakdowns and we learn that Felt is the last candidate to lead the country, we don’t care nearly as much about a bunch hooded guys that appeared out of nowhere.

Joshua: The curse of enjoying an adaptation of an ongoing series, is having questions but no ETA on the answers. I think given Emilia’s similarities to Satella, and the Witch Cult’s obsession with the Jealous Witch, a collision course was inevitable. I think Re:ZERO’s biggest issue right now, is a lack of focus. Why was so much time spent building up Betelguese, if the attention was going to shift to the White Whale? His only appearance in this chunk felt too throwaway given how shocking his introduction was... It still feels like early days for the royal selection though, with most of the other candidates only having brief appearances so far. Hopefully as the series goes on, things become more naturally intertwined as these plotlines grow.

Jared: It does sort of feel like they’re trying to patch it together last minute since like some of the others, I’m still not entirely sure why they’re targeting Emilia specifically. I just figured it was due to the backlash in general she’s already faced, but yeah, probably one of those things that can be boiled down to an adaptation of a long series. Sometimes these kinds of aspects get jumbled when trying to squeeze a lot into a certain set of episodes.

Carolyn: Yeah, I’m also with Paul. I’m at a loss as to how it all actually ties together. I feel like there are so many loose ends to this story! But I love it, anyway.

Danni: I’m with the others in that I don’t quite understand why she’s being targeted or what it has to do with the royal selection. I’m guessing it has something to do with her looking like the witch, therefore being guilty in their eyes of impersonation? Which begs the question of why are they only just now attacking? Was she not already well known? I always assumed she was a prominent figure already before the Royal Selection and am now realizing we don’t actually know anything about her backstory at all.

Austin: Echoing everyone else’s thoughts on it not really feeling tied together. I think with the announced second season it’ll get a chance to wrap everything together nicely, but as of now there’s plenty shrouded in mystery.

  A surprise favorite for me is Wilhelm, the knight whose wife was the strongest swordsman and was tragically killed by the White Whale. What did you think about the sudden focus he gets, and largely the shift in tone (and genre?) that the whale hunt brings?

Kara: I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about the whole White Whale thing, but seeing it evolve into what it is has been fantastic. I love Wilhelm (and all those other people) stepping forward for the hunt, and just this sheer wave of emotion people are getting. Wilhelm is the only one with a flashback, but even with the minor characters coming in, it’s clear how many people this has affected. I’ve enjoyed this a lot.

Paul: I'm still waiting for the White Whale thing to come full circle in some sense, in order to complete the Moby Dick reference. I enjoyed the flashbacks to young Wilhelm and Theresia, specifically to how her prowess completely, effortlessly overshadowed his own, and it was fun to see modern-day Wilhelm carving chunks out of his hated nemesis, but I admit all of the literary allusions gave me pause. Moby Dick is a story of self-destructive obsession, and I had no idea how an army armed with swords and spears could possibly prevail over the Re:ZERO equivalent of the Tarrasque from Dungeons & Dragons. I still don't know how they're going to salvage victory from the jaws of defeat after the conclusion of Episode 20.

Noelle: Wilhelm is straight up awesome. An old guy going absolutely ham on a gigantic monster was so, so great to watch. As for his backstory, I think I would have been fine without seeing it, because what they showed more annoyed me than endeared me. It was framed more as Wilhelm wanting his wife not to wield a sword because, what exactly? She seemed to be perfectly capable of doing so and not against it. Having her being dead and him wanting revenge was good enough without those details. Cut the flashback, and I think I would’ve been perfectly fine. The old man is taking this whale to town though, and that’s fantastic. 

Kevin: As a first time viewer, it was really cool seeing someone actually competent at fighting getting to show off. I think the last time we saw an actual fight like that was Reinhard versus Elsa in the first arc, and Reinhard only really attacked once. As a repeat viewer, it somehow got even better, because I know Wilhelm’s backstory going in, so every blow he deals has a lot more cathartic weight behind it.

  Joshua: I’ve been a huge fan of Wilhelm since the series first simulcast, but I totally forgot just how kinetic this old man is! I mean, did you see how cool he looked when he was younger? He totally puts me and my out-of-shape younger body to shame. You gotta think, his body may be grey and wrinkled now, but that badass is still inside. Wilhelm is a very noble, chivalrous spirit. Him thanking Subaru for the opportunity to avenge his wife was a brief moment, but it carried the gravitas of what that meant to him. I’d like to see more of Theresia and what brought them together though. The White Whale Hunt has added a new layer of world-building emotional death to the series that I think it really needed.

Jared: Oh man, Wilhelm ruled. I was really feeling down on the three episodes prior to the White Whale battle and that really turned things around for me. Although, I’m a sucker for big battle sequences. Plus, he made his fight sequences seem like some of the boss fights out of Metal Gear Rising and Shadow of the Colossus. What happens to him seemed kind of inevitable as he was getting all the death flags you could imagine, but I enjoyed his role and his backstory for the most part. Although the weird sexism he throws in when he learns his future wife is the swordmaster wasn’t great.

Carolyn: I love Wilhelm for sure. But I’m a little bit nervous about this big fantasy shift. We’ve had this dark, mysterious story so far and now it’s big and epic and there’s a huge battle and it’s just very different. I’m sure the next week’s episodes will make this all make sense to me. The show has been fantastic so far.

Danni: I said this at some point during the Naruto rewatch and I’ll say it again: I live for stories about old men carrying lifetimes of regret finally returning to the source of that regret for closure. I could say more, but I feel the rest is best summed up in this tweet.

Austin: I really like the focus he gets since it makes the world seem a bit more “alive” by giving the spotlight to characters who have a history in the world everyone else knows. As for the whale hunt, I love the band of everyone coming together under a common cause and my gut tells me the whale is going to end up being important later in the story.

  As we approach the final week, are there any developments you are hoping the story hits upon before it wraps up (for now)?

Kara: Like I said, we know there’s a season 2 coming. And there’s something like ten volumes of light novel? So I’m bracing myself to not get a full payoff. If there’s one thing I could wish for (and probably won’t get) it’s more information on Roswaal’s entire situation. I have so many questions.

Paul: I'd like to know, at the very least, who's responsible for siccing the Witch Cult on Emilia in the first place. That would provide a clear antagonist and a clear goal in opposing them for the second season.

Noelle: I want to know what the cult’s deal is. There are so many unanswered questions of what is the witch and why do they want to do what they do that leave me wondering. I don’t need everything to be mapped out, but the cult doesn’t really have a motive besides kill people, and I need more than that to feel the gravity of an antagonist. I don’t think everything will wrap up neatly, the royal selection in particular, but that’s okay because season 2 is incoming.

Kevin: I’m not sure there’s anything I can say that wouldn’t be spoiler-y in one way or another, so I’ll leave my thoughts about the last arc of the show for next week. I promise, I have thoughts.

Joshua: Having already seen the series, I’m hoping that I pick up on any new hints I missed the first time round that could give me an idea of what to expect in season 2.

Jared: I’d be happy with a decent cliffhanger and getting a better view of a singular antagonist than what we currently have. Stuff like Roswell, the whole royal selection process, the other candidates true intentions, and even Subaru’s goal of trying to save Emilia will probably be left on the table because of time constraints.

Carolyn: Definitely want to know what’s up with Roswaal. I have loved and been suspicious of him from his first episode. And just more of an explanation on the White Whale situation. There are three?! What is going on?

Danni: I just want to see more Beatrice. That’s all. At this rate my Betty reserves will never last me through the winter.

Austin: Back when I watched this for the first time I wanted a meaningful scene where Emilia and Subaru get a chance to talk. Like I said before, I’m hoping the second season ties everything together, so I’m pretty fine with it being this open as of now.

  And of course, what were your highs and lows this week?

Kara: High point was Wilhelm going absolutely HAM on the White Whale. I could watch that for hours. Low point was Subaru managing to convince one perfectly lovely girl who deserves better to help him in his pursuit of a completely different perfectly lovely girl who deserves better and her being like “sure.” I’ve finally realized why people are so protective of her.

Paul: My high point was Subaru admitting that he's been royally screwing up this entire time and then working up the courage to face his problems, to make amends, and to finally start using his head when confronting the obstacles before him instead of trying to brute force his way through every situation. My low point was the sinking feeling I got when I realized there's not very much screen time left for the writers to resolve all of these plot points that they've been juggling. I hope they don't just introduce a bunch of new mysteries and leave us with a cliffhanger conclusion.

Noelle: I have a few highs, one being the negotiation scenes with Subaru and the candidates. That people are not willing to help if there’s no benefit to them, that begging is often nonconductive because that relies on people’s goodwill even if helping would hurt them more than help them—those are some points I don’t see addressed very much. Also, Subaru putting together all the information he got from the candidates during his failed route to make a great negotiation. Naturally, I have to mention everyone coming together to beat up that whale. Low point: the Rem confession scene. That could’ve played out so much better. Rem, you deserve better.

Kevin: High - Dear God it’s hard to choose this week. Pretty much the entirety of episode 18 for Subaru and Rem was amazing (I cite my first answer for the week), but episode 20 for Wilhelm (and a little bit into next week’s first or second episode, if I remember correctly) balanced action and character development spectacularly while also being great on rewatch because of the extra knowledge going in. Low - “I love Emilia.” God DAMN IT, Subaru! As I put in the Rewatch chat “Episode 18, timestamp 23:23. The moment when half of the Re:Zero fanbase decided that Subaru deserves every single thing the plot throws at him.”

Joshua: This batch had so many high points. Subaru’s breakdown and Rem’s heartfelt confession is a big tentpole moment for the entire show, but smaller events like Beatrice’s pained face as she reluctantly sent Subaru to his death left a huge impression too. I also loved the use of an annoying chiptune ringtone against shots of a tense, nervous army awaiting the arrival of the White Whale. It sounds ridiculous on paper, but was so chilling in practice. Also, Crusch. Every time she was on screen was a high point. For a low point, I have to ask: where did Subaru get the authority to negotiate Roswaal’s mining rights? He’s just a house guest and Rem’s a maid, so will Roswaal return home, see the contracts and be “Argh! Not again!”, or does he pay wages with land deeds or something?

While I loved it, I also think the confession scene could have ended better. Subaru, you don’t just ask a girl to elope with you, then say you love someone else. I wish Rem had reacted to it more. Her devotion for Subaru is leading to her taking it all in stride, but she shouldn’t have to. She deserves to find someone who truly appreciates her.

Jared: High point would definitely be the White Whale battle episodes. Wilhelm being real cool during that fight was great, as was everyone else doing their best to try and that big whale down. Also, during the meeting when Subaru produces his phone and everyone looks at it and are very perplexed was a good little bit of comedy. Low points would be Subaru being a dummy. Reducing Rem to only being a character that exists because she has to love Subaru.

Carolyn: I liked the scenes where everyone just flat refused to help Subaru for their own selfish reasons while simultaneously telling him how very selfish he is. Everything involving Wilhelm was fantastic. Prequel please. For once I have a legitimate low point and not one I have to stretch for and like everyone else it’s the way Subaru promised to run away with Rem and was then like, “Yo, help me out with this other girl I actually like.” Rude.

Danni: My high point was easily watching buff Captain Ahab tearing apart his flying magic Moby Dick. My low point is Rem devoting herself entirely to Subaru. Like, I get it! You’re 17! Of course you want to devote your entire life to the dude you have a crush on! One day you’ll grow up and how to compartmentalize attraction away from love and attraction and look back on all your bold declarations of love for Subaru and think, “Oh geez. That was embarrassing huh.”

Austin: As for highs, this may sound bad but the loops of suffering Subaru goes through that lead up to the scene in episode 18 are done really well in my eyes. Between last week’s scene with Subaru and Emilia and Subaru seeing everything he cared about in this world destroyed time and time again this week, it broke him down in a way that made his request and rant to Rem really hit hard and easily one of the most unforgettable batch of episodes in any anime for me. As for lows I didn’t really notably dislike anything in this batch so I will instead complain that my favourite voice actress’ characters didn’t get more screen time (please give Anastasia more time to shine, I am definitely not biased at all).

    Counters: Weekly: Barusu - 7 Subaru Deaths - 1 Methods of Death - Freezing

Overall: Barusu - 31 Subaru Deaths - 10 How Subaru Died - Disembowelment, Disembowelment, Stabbing, Curse, Combination (Curse+Dismemberment), Slit Throat / Torture, Suicide, Freezing, Beheading, Freezing

Just one more week left in this whirlwind of a show! Next week will be episodes 21-25, so if you're not already caught up, be sure to finish Re:Zero by next Friday!

Here's our upcoming schedule!

- Danni will finish off the Rewatch on October 18th with episodes 21-25

  CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH:

Episodes 11-15: Enduring Heartbreak

Episodes 6-10: From Apples To Demons

Episodes 1-5: Starting Life in Another Rewatch

Re:ZERO Introduction Questions

  What are your answers to the above questions? Do you agree with Subaru's choice to pursue Emilia over Rem? Let us know in the comments!

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David is on Twitter @navycherub. Ask him about whatever sports anime is airing right now.

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