#The concept is writing itself as this point
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How to deal with restrictions during manifesting ☁️⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
Make your own rules that's it ,this is your reality
For example
> Any thoughts that are not in my favor do not impact my manifestation.
> Irrespective of any thoughts i get whatever I want
>If I want it it's mine I don't need any external validation to have it.
if you struggle with 3d
> 3d is just a dream because i already have my desires i fucking already have it and it's a fact
The idea is that your desired reality already exists, and you can experience it in your mind, regardless of what is happening in the "3D" physical world. If your current experiences don’t align with your desired reality, it doesn’t mean you’re deceiving yourself by focusing on what you truly want. Rather, you’re choosing to hold on to the experience you prefer, as it exists in a different reality. You’re not gaslighting yourself by doing this; instead, you’re consciously aligning with the version of reality that fulfills you. Even if you encounter unfavorable circumstances in the 3D, it’s irrelevant, because a part of you has already experienced the reality you desire in another dimension.
My point is that this reality is yours to control. You have unconsciously manifested a reality where concepts like the Law of Attraction or pure consciousness exist, and within this realm, you establish the rules. You alone decide who holds the power—you are, in essence, the creator of your own experience. Therefore, you have the authority to create your own principles. You can have your desires, even amidst unfavorable thoughts, if you allow yourself to do so.
The most important thing is to clear your mind. Write down anything that might hinder your manifestation, such as fears, doubts, or any other limiting thoughts. Then, seek answers, and you’ll realize that these fears and doubts stem from the 3D reality, which is ultimately irrelevant. You are pure consciousness, the void itself, and in your purest state, fears and doubts simply do not exist. The 3D world is just something you’re experiencing—it is not who you are. These restrictions come from the external world, not from your true self. You are inherently pure, peaceful, and detached from any limitations. So, whenever you feel restricted, close your eyes and connect with your true self—a divine, godly presence free from any fear or doubt.
#desired reality#law of assumption#manifestations#loass#reality shifter#void state#the void state#void success#loa tumblr#shifting community#neville goddard#4d reality#pure consciousness#affirmations#affirm and persist#visualization#living in the end#self concept#wish fulfilled#law of manifestation#law of attraction#law of the universe#limiting beliefs
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By David de Bruijn
Many are shocked, wondering how this could happen in the Netherlands.
To me, their bafflement is what’s shocking.
I grew up in The Hague, where real and abundant antisemitism, from epithets in the street to physical threats to the community’s safety, was part of our daily life. As a young boy, I vividly recall how The Hague's football hooligans—viciously opposed to Ajax, Amsterdam’s “Jewish” team—walked the streets under a banner reading “We’re hunting for Jews.” (Indeed, for my entire life, football stadiums in my home country have been filled with lurid chants like “Hamas, Hamas, all the Jews on gas!” and “My dad was in the commandos, my mom was in the SS, we like to burn Jews, because Jews burn the best.”)
In high school, second- or third-generation Moroccan kids would point and hiss “Psst, psst, that’s a Jew, that’s a Jew!” as they passed by on their bikes.
But most impactful were the myriad security measures our community had to undertake. Seen from the front, The Hague synagogue is not recognizable, two thick green doors presenting a closed facade to the street. Behind these doors are glass doors that open only once additional permission is given. All the windows are made of bulletproof glass. A permanent police post guards the synagogue. In Amsterdam, the Jewish primary school has even more dystopian levels of protection, hidden behind several layers of metal spikes and fencing. From the outside, the view of the school is entirely closed off. (Even as I write this, I feel uncomfortably conscious of not revealing any sensitive security details.)
Self-protection was a constant—and to me, natural—part of Jewish life. Leading youngsters to a summer camp in northern Friesland meant bringing a dedicated security team and, when possible, keeping quiet the fact that it was Jewish children gathering here.
Violent, antisemitic assaults have become increasingly regular occurrences. In May, a student at the University of Amsterdam, a young man, was assaulted by a protester in a keffiyeh, struck in the head with a wooden plank. In August, a statue of Anne Frank was defaced—for the second time—with anti-Israel graffiti. Today, walking around with a kippah in the Netherlands is an act that requires bravery.
As the situation worsened over the years—motivating some, including me, to move, others to adjust, and so many to worry—one of the most painful aspects was the way the Jewish community was gaslit. Dutch society repeatedly told its post-Holocaust Jewish remnant—and itself—that “never again” was not merely a concrete promise, but a core concept of modern Dutch morality. However, the dominant culture of the country’s immigrant communities has proven manifestly hostile to that worldview—and to Jews.
For the North Africans living in Holland, the dominant Jewish story of the twentieth century is not Auschwitz, it is Israel, which in their distorted conception is an illegitimate, one-directional criminal enterprise directed at an innocent population. Nor—and this is crucial—is this merely an attitude about a conflict. They believe it is the crime of the twentieth century, conferring ultimate guilt on the Jewish people. “Palestine�� is a phrase felt to carry the gravity of “Holocaust,” grotesquely inverting the perception of the Jewish experience.
For Holland’s Jewry, this reality has been palpable for decades. Yet nothing—no politician, no policy—has altered this reality. In the aftermath of every single violent attack—as will most likely be the case now—the political answer has been a room-temperature broth of subsidies, youth centers, dialogue forums, visits to Islamic pensioners clubs, and interfaith dialogue.
So it did not surprise me when international media outlets, like The Associated Press and The New York Times, covered this widespread attack as if it was the unfortunate, but perhaps expected, result of the Israeli fans’ conduct before and during the match, such as reportedly taunting Ajax fans with inappropriate slogans. Further, the AP wrote, the attack followed a Palestinian flag being “torn down from a building in Amsterdam on Wednesday,” and the rioters were angry because “authorities banned a pro-Palestinian demonstration near the stadium.” The Times originally pinned the attack on differences over sport and on taunts, as “violence tied to a match between Dutch and Israeli teams,” and reported that “the tensions in the hours leading up to the violence” was in part caused by “one man [being heard] saying in Hebrew, ‘The people of Israel live,’ while others shout[ed] anti-Palestinian chants using expletives.” (The Times has apparently stealth-edited its reporting numerous times since publication.)
In other words, if all you read were the initial reports, you might think that the Israelis started it, or at least had it coming.
What the reporters and media fail to understand is that this was an attack on Israeli football fans, but not one carried out by football hooligans. The Ajax team is itself Jewish friendly—fans of Amsterdam’s Ajax are affectionately (and sometimes not-so affectionately) referred to as “super Jews,” and Ajax is understood as the “Jewish team,” so it would make little sense that Ajax supporters would attack Jews or Israelis for their ethnicity—even if they are fans of an opposing team.
No, this was straightforward: According to the accounts of witnesses and victims, it was an attack by immigrant, Muslim communities against Israelis and Jews.
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I've been looking around at Mario stuff and get this, Princess Peach is a talented surfer according to the Nintendo Adventure Books! Ain't that neat?
Please don't give me ideas.
(... suddenly get flashes of a beach themed AU in which she's a lifeguard ...)
Darnit!
#I mean 💁♀️😂#The concept is writing itself as this point#But all jokes aside- this is a actually a really cool fact! :D#I like it!#The thought of her being a bit of an athlete is super interesting to me 👀#Hadn't thought much about it before but it could certainly work! 🙌#asks#mario#princess peach#surfing#sports#canon talk#headcanon
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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#i'm gonna keep this rant in the tags bc it won't be as coherent as i'd like it to be#i played the new es and the writing was nice#but what bothers me is the pervasiveness of the christian ideology without the acknowledgement of every single other ideology#like the story itself could be very cool#if only it wasn't yet another christian conundrum#interesting concept in theory but like. i have had Enough#and i know this is a very personal bias bc every church related narrative feels like a cult narrative (derogatory) to me#i did appreciate the neutral choices through the story and the parabolan lore tho#once again this is not an elaborate rant i just wanted to say my immediate thoughts on this#from a very personal point of view#that said i did enjoy the writing style and i always like the rats#not tagging this as anything i don't want to spam the main tag
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I’ve started to think a bit about why I don’t like Crimson as a character and an antagonist- and I think I’ve cracked part of it
Crimson basically has nothing going on, and in the story he basically functions to give bodies for the protags to throw around. He’s just an other shitty dad to give Moxxie trauma. What even are his goals? What does he want? What does he believe in?
Striker is way more interesting as a character and an antagonist because we know his beliefs and goals- he was paid to kill Stolas, and he hates hell royalty because he doesn’t believe they deserve everything that’s been handed to them and such. It’s very simple stuff but it works as a foundation, even if Viv hasn’t been good at writing his character out.
Crimson however, he’s basically nothing. You could say that he is motivated by his business/mafia, but we don’t really see that. He just drops in one episode without any prior set up or acknowledgment to try and marry Moxxie off for money. His motivation could be to try and maintain power by doing whatever it is possible, but again we don’t really *get* that.
In this new episode it just *really* feels like his only purpose is to fill a slot so they don’t have to make a new antagonist, shout a bunch, and have a bunch of henchmen to be killed.
honestly it could be interesting to build off of imps being lower class and not many running their own companies. That idea has kinda been dropped but it could have been worked into making Crimson and Blitz foils to each other or something. Just let Crimson be desperate to rise to some level of power and wealth that he’s willing to do anything to obtain it. Whether that be selling out his son or holding another imp hostage to blackmail a sin- idk there’s potential here!
Potential, yes. And unfortunately squandered one at that.
#confession#excellent points anon#Crimson has nothing to him outside of his conflict with Moxxie. but then Moxxie wasn't even in this episode#we could've had any random kidnapper fill in the role here and nothing would've changed#for the worse anyhow#helluva boss critical#crimson#the more I hear from anons and critical blogs the more I begin to realize that we should just be writing the show ourselves#like there's way more creativity in this community (and in the fandom too) than I keep seeing from canon itself#likely because we actually care about characters and concepts outside of Stolitz
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mob psycho(logical horror) 100
#Chatterbomb#There are some terrifying concepts in there they should be stretched more#That comic reminded me of junji itos The Long Dream#I’ll have to do a rewatch and write some stuff down#The mental prison stuff? Terrifying 10/10#Shigeo in fabricated world for six months is terrifying but I feel like being trapped in a static environment that only gets longer even#Though real world time has barely passed and you are all alone and you can’t escape and you can’t change the environment besides clawing at#The walls#day and night don’t pass with the sun and moon but your body is aging anyway#Nothing changes and you are running out of resources.#How long until you accept no one will come and save you? How much are you willing to starve while waiting for someone who left?#What if the world that trapped you won’t let you die? Starving for centuries without a sign of life#Thinking at some point you must have escaped. Or was it a dream within a dream? Can that happen? How many times have you fallen asleep?#How many dreams deep are you already in?#WHAT IF HE STARTED ROTTING#what if he was living in his own dead body!!!!! Would that be fucked up or what!!!!!#Something about reigen sparks a desire to see him experience pain disconnected with reality#The dreams in train hell are only getting longer. None of them are peaceful. He can’t tell if his hair is greying from aging or how much th#Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is#Responsible? Or is it him? Or the train itself?#What if all they found of him was a dryed up body with a beating heart and pulsating brain. Laying limp and clothing scattered#If I really indulge myself the scratched out days. When looked at from farther away. Still marking the potential days reads#Abandon all hope#ye who enter here#Which yeah that’s stretching into being ridiculous but it would be cool TO ME#Dante’s inferno you are so silly and special to me#I got really autistic here but <3 big fan of horror huge fan of suffering <333#ALSO!! taking inspiration from “heck” short film but the days might be counted by “sleeps” as time cannot accurately be measured in a place#That defies universal law#Ok I think I’m done now ok I’m normal probably
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I wrote 2000 words about Amy Pond again instead of sleeping which is probably a sign that 1. I should be asleep So Badly and 2. I really need to just write that Amy Pond essay I have been meaning to do since s5.
#rose rambles#there is so much going on with her and the way the narrative treats her#and the relationship she has with her boys#and it makes me So Feral#I have not been this incensed about a character since Venat ffxiv#and THANK GOD I like the character this time#Amy is the victim of the narrative choices BUT she is so so interesting#she ahs so many concepts that are fascinating and would have been really reallu interesting to elaborate on#Venat. I'm sorry any fffxiv fans for some reason reading this. I Do Not Like Her and her being the narrative itself saying#suffering is good#and necessary#and you shouldn't try to avoid it#because mother knows best. and mother chose this for you. and you're all better off like this.#Amy though. She compels me.#thus. 2000 words instead of sleeping. Again. For about the third time. I need to write an actual essay about this but I'd need to rewatch#all the seasons to be confident in it and so I can point to specific examples ajgdhs#I might do the short (“short”) version soon though because. 2000 words instead of sleeping.
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Guys holy shit yk what i just thought of? What if like demons in the whole Good Omens universe also operated on a pentagram type of deal? Like imagine aziraphale tenderly kneeling on the floor of the bookshop that usually is covered with a rug and lighting candles to summon is dumb demon husband who’s been ‘napping’ for the past four years. Like its so sweet please tell me im not just high and that it’s cute.
#aziraphale hasnt had to use the pentagram for YEARS#its so out of style and veeerry tacky#they both agree on this#but aziraphale is a petty bitch and will absolutely summon crowley whenever he needs to make a point#like tell me its not cute#aziraphale kneeling down with his sleeves rolled up#lighting candles#almost as if in PRAYER#COME ON IT WRITES ITSELF#im in love with this concept#bi.f.shit#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#Aziraphale#aziracrow#ive seen people use that one alot recently#bi.f.high
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I keep thinking about 14 telling the No-Thing Donna about the Tardis parking itself on a cliff by the sea, watching the world pass by as civilizations rise and fall, just sitting there.
And then I think about this Box In A Garden At The End of The World, and I go a little mad at the thought, that when 14 has lived his life and it comes to a soft close (and through timey-wimey time lord shenanigan logopolis style) rejoins 15's timeline, that this secondary prize-won Tardis chooses to stay behind and - on no now I have 'Let's Go In The Garden' playing in my head - and waits. Maybe it goes on some adventures with Rose Noble, or her decedents or the decedents of other companions, like Luke and the gang, but there's gonna come a point where someone steps out and the doors lock behind and never open again.
And then she just waits. In her garden. and then maybe for whatever reason, the garden remains. The house goes, the neighborhood, the city, the country. People, humans, the animals and the plants, go.
But a box, a garden, and a table with always enough chairs to seat anyone that needs to take a moment and catch their breath and rest still remains.
(and then at some point in the far, far, far future, a grieving timelord takes a girl he just met to see the end of the world.)
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dw#dw spoilers#maybe at that point this tardis exists sort of in between space and time#or maybe it picks itself up and the garden and finds other worlds to rest in#anyway wish I had the spoons to write or attempt to draw art for this concept#maybe in the future
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Hell yeah automatic renewal on my library book
#I'm only half way through#turns out taking detailed notes takes a damn long time#especially when you're essentially transcribing the entire book into a bullet point format#girl i need this information and the book has to go back so I'm writing the whole damn thing down#plus it helps me actually absorb the information when i have to read every sentence 2-3 times and also write it myself#learning about the neuroscience of human communication 👍#having actual mechanical knowledge of complicated concepts like my own consciousness makes it easier to troubleshoot and resolve issues#it's like “hey when you're experiencing this emotion here's what's happening and why and how you can slowly change that reaction”#i wasn't born with the intuitive understanding of emotional connection allistic people apparently have#but I've always been a powerhouse in the classroom#i have full confidence in my ability to absorb information and to learn to apply it appropriately in various situations#i have the pattern recognition to tell when someone's feeling a way with pretty good accuracy#Chinese dramas are really good for studying facial expressions and emotion because they do a lot of acting with their eyes#my main problem is not having the mirror neurons that simulate the emotions of other people in my own brain#so i have the information and i understand what it means#but i also can't help thinking it's odd to feel that way because only the data comes across and not the emotion itself#but if i get a detailed enough understanding of human behavior i think i can make up for that#and with enough applied effort over time i might be able to build those networks in my own brain on purpose#bc it's not like I'm fully missing them#when someone in a show or book is sad i do cry#but i think my defenses are up too high in person to let anything through#i have noticed increased understanding and something like empathy developing lately#still not feeling the feelings but i can recognize and accommodate them which is a lot better than i used to be
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wait, dude, wait. aini was supposed to be cosmic horror??
girl, seriously? i dunnooooo i’m not really feeling it fellas
#i'm some i've read some cosmic horror(/weird fic prob more fitting here) in my time and i do not get those vibes from it at aaaaall#i can believe that cosmic horror is what aini *thought* it was doing. but no.#game doesn't commit nearly enough and its so like. self conscious in terms of 'we gotta make this appeal to more people' to commit#and like in this economy it's just not weird enough tbh#simulation theory as plot point in and of itself does not a cosmic horror/weird fiction make. or like. an interesting one#and when the writing ultimately chickens out with the 'but its okay because even if it's a simulation we all matter and should be content'#which it will#i should be feeling existentially uneasy and instead i'm like 'my god i totally know exactly where this is going'#and it's so needless! you have a scifi concept ripe with fic psychological weird horror potential that went untapped!#why let that just shrivel up in the corner cause sim theory's more big brain?? make a different game then!#i simply do not care about the ''frayer'' or whomstever the player avatar is called today. cause the game don't care either lol#its heart somehow aint in it. which is weird considering how much other good shit was tossed in favour of the new Thing#its pure mechanics. which could work if the game goes all in on mechanical narrative. but the mechanics dont even work#it's not even interested in the interesting meaty bit of the concept it's so completely linear it misses its own point entirely#the mechanics arent integrated with the thematics at all its so clunky which is a shame cause clearly a lot of nitpicking went in#from like the dialogue writers#proofing this thing was a nightmare i would imagine#and like. you can't have a pandemic rocket and stormtrooper horde as the climax of your story and expect me to seriously inspect it#as a proper serious work of cosmic horror i'm too busy rolling my eyes and laughing at it#not saying that something can't have both weird horror and comedy elements to it reasonably speaking#but the horror elements aren't beefy and deeply thought out enough nor is the comedy integrated in such a way to hit that sweet spot#uuuugh theres something in here somewhere but not like. as one game. take one or two elements split them off and develop them#like properly. fully with care and gusto and focus on what the writing actually feels. then you could have a couple of good games#and maybe even a decent cosmic horror product#but this Aint It. weird fiction/cosmic horror is more than a base concept or aesthetic flairs you gotta gets the guts underneath#it will not tag this properly but i will make the walls of tag attached#of increasing and therefore increasingly absurd length. for the bit
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#oh boy#was in a social group zoom thing this evening#and we were reviewing the guidelines for fair conduct and all of that whatnot which comes with being in a talk-based group#and someone took issue with the use of and definition given for the word ‘crosstalk’#saying that they’re in a 12 step group and ‘well ackshually ‘crosstalk’ means this’#to ‘well ackshually’ a ‘well ackshually’#the definition they gave is just what you generally see in zoom step groups *these days*#there is no definition of ‘crosstalk’ as handed down from the world service office#in other groups I’ve been in that aren’t 12 step#the general notion of ‘crosstalk’ is talking over the top of one another#or interrupting#usually to disagree or add an opinion or offer unsolicited advice#it doesn’t mean ‘you can never comment on what someone else said’#or ‘you can never add to the point someone made in the the thing they just shared’#maybe it does in that person’s particular step group#but it really depends on the individual social group of any particular flavor#the group itself must decide how to phrase the concept of ‘being a rude pushy dolt’#and for a lot of groups the word which sums it up best—esp in environments where talking over each other is made very easy—is crosstalk#i have no problem with them making a point or sharing the definition that they’re familiar with#but it’s not law handed down from on high by Bill Goddamn Wilson#fortunately someone else with some experience of in-person groups from the ‘90s was able to give their opinion#yes i said something but in more of a ‘here’s my experience and here’s what other groups I’m in have to say about this concept’#but I’m happy to report that i didn’t roll my eyes#12 step principles and conduct is my trigger to deal with#and so I’m dealing with it here by writing a fucking essay in the tags because buhhhhh my gaahhhhhd#okay#the 12 step hater is laying down the microphone gently as to reduce the feedback and squealing and not hurt y’all with my personal issues
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Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:
(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)
(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)
It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.
Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.
It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.
The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.
So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.
I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.
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This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm
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Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..
Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?
Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.
Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??
(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)
Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --
Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?
But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).
BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....
AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....
Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --
As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...
I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#repeat reblog#Hrmm.... this must be why you all like reading books so much lol… option 5.. so few of us…#Also I wonder if this is why I'm a more detail oriented writer. Like if I was making a story I would first have to plot out information#about the location. draw a map of the room the chararcters are in. sketch the characters. their outfits. do a lot of plotting and planning#about how the world and the setting works and what plants might be there and so on and so forth. Because I'm working#more from a factual knowledge base of like 'bullet point list of things I know about this setting/object/person/etc'#rather than actually just being able to see it in my mind. So to really conceptualize a person/place/thing - I have to build it#from the ground up conceptually. Gathering and organizing all the information about it until I have a Full Mental Concept of it - and THEN#I can work with it from there. But maybe someone who just Pictures all that in their brain from the beginning can kind of skip that step.#Like for example I literally have NO idea what any of my characters look like until I draw them. I have to actively decide what they look#like and think about all of those details and create the List Of Factual Information (black hair. green eyes. this tall. etc.) from scratch#. where the friend I talked to on the phone recently said that they literally just like... picture the character. like they just SEE them#doing stuff and know from there. And of course i have an IDEA of what I may want a characters appearnce to be or properties that would suit#them based on their Concept and Personality. but I literally do not know. And even when writing or thinking about characters doing things#I cannot visualize them no matter how hard I try. It's all theoretical factual recall for me. Also my friend said that to THEM the saying#''the characters write themselves'' was interpreted to mean.. they can literally sit down & watch the characters do things and it's as#if they are just creating a story in their mind from thin air. it writes itself. Where for ME I have always interpreted it to mean ''I have#undertaken the process of analyzing and plotting every detail of this character SO deeply that I know them SO well down to even#how they would walk or hold a pencil. and thus because I have such an intimate understanding of every intricacy of their personality. It's#extremely easy to just Put Them Into A Situation and assume exactly how they'd react/ exactly what they'd say because based#on what has factually been determined about them and their personality/worldview/etc. it's just.. literally automatic. The same way that#if you knew a friend's preferences extremely well you could probably easily predict how they'd respond to a birthday gift'' etc.#hmm.. ANYWAY... Which my friend may be an extreme example. I feel like it'd be obvious even for writers without aphantasia to STILL sit#down and plot out details & intimately understand their characters/setting/etc. But the idea that for ANYONE it's like ''yeah I dont have t#think much about designing the layout of a room/place/etc. I just kind of SEE it in my mind and know automatically''.... wild... lol#It makes it seem like I'm always having to do like 500 tons of extra work that other people can just skip .. oughh#''well after writing them for a YEAR and fully conceptualizing their personality and going through 15 sketch drafts. i have FINALLY#decided on an appearance for my character'' ... ''erm.. i have been seeing my character since day 1.. what do you mean?'' ... lol#ANYWAY.. and thank you to those who have sent in asks abt your experiences.. very inchresting.. sorry not posting/responding yet since im#still a bit sick feeling and energy is very scattered/low social ability/etc... even this post i typed over the course of days lol..
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Like a month ago I went "Hey, what if I start writing the chapter I cannot figure out how to approach from the last scene which I want to write most? Surely this will not backfire in any way"
Spoiler alert: it backfired in every way and has probably pushed the fic back further than it would've been normally by my procrastination alone
#a.k.a I'm stuck on the first two scenes that I just can't figure out#there comes a point where suiren's internal monologue just gets repetitive#but I need the scene to be in her POV because that way I can make her dissociate and avoid having to describe too much#bc if there's one thing I hate it's writing scenery or setting the scene.#as well as trying to figure out the logistics of zhi being able to freely travel with two kids not related to her#especially ones that probably don't have any documentation concerning their existence cause their parents were always hiding from the law#ughhhhhhhh#and then there was a scene from my og draft of the fic that I really adore but idk if it fits now that the fic is so different#it also requires way too much POV jumping so I might have to kill my darlings and not include it#maybe in a later installment or smth#or maybe I could send the concept to Kat once I finish this fic and she can decide if she wants to include smth like it in the next part#we'll see#but overall#I wish this shit would write itself
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