#so i have the information and i understand what it means
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I will have "learned nothing" from that because the amount of time it takes to complete a task once I have started it has nothing to do with why it takes so long to actually start doing the task. For me, it's usually not doing the task that is hard. Starting the work is what's hard.
Tactics I (a very extroverted person with late-diagnosed ADHD) have developed over the years that help with this difficulty include:
- doing the work in public places (e g. coffeeshop, university study lab)
- inviting friends over to talk to me while I work/work alongside me (either at the same task or at a task of their own)
- listening to music/audiobooks/podcasts/videos/TV (the visual media are less helpful for me in particular as I can get "sucked into" watching and stop working)
- talking to a friend on the phone while working (this can help even more with task initiation as talking with the person becomes associated with working; I was once recovering from a cold and sitting around complaining about how awful I felt when a friend called. I almost immediately got up and started washing the dishes out of sheer habit)
- setting a timer to trick my brain into starting for a short time (usually once I begin I don't want to stop even though the timer has gone off)
- working on a task while waiting on another process (e.g. putting away clean dishes while waiting for the kettle to boil)
- doing a completely unrelated activity, especially one that requires physical movement but not mental concentration, e.g. going for a walk (good for breaking out of a state of inertia and for helping the brain process information in a new way; less good for task initiation but sometimes coming back to the task after this kind of break helps)
- ADHD medication (genuinely amazingly helpful when one has ADHD; at first there were moments of "magically" starting tasks, but after having used it for a while it's more like I'm able to better understand the way my brain functions and begin to build systems that support healthy productivity - including task initiation without deadline-induced panic, but also including being able to notice when I'm getting less focused and need a break, and building the confidence that not doing something the moment I think of it does NOT mean it won't actually happen [this confidence does not, however, translate to waiting to add things to my calendar. That still needs to happen IMMEDIATELY]
- allowing myself to engage in a fun or relaxing activity when I recognize that I'm struggling to initiate a task, because giving myself a reward in advance of the work can, despite everything I was ever taught, actually make it easier for me to do the work (this can be tricky if the reward is a particularly time-sinky activity, so timers or other external prompts to stop are helpful here. Also ADHD meds)
- working on a task in service of another task (e.g. cleaning the kitchen because I want to bake bread and need the counter cleared and the bowl washed to do that; the bread may or may not actually get baked, but the kitchen will be cleaner)
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Entry 11: The One About the Heart of the Ocean
My father is a big history buff. He fancies himself a bit of an expert about the U.S. Civil War, U.S. Presidents, and World War II. In fact, heâs gifted me with the Useless Knowledge of which four U.S. Presidents were assassinated while in office (Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, and Kennedy â youâre welcome for that little addition to your own Library of Useless Knowledge).
But, more importantly, my dad has instilled in me the importance of a timeline. The idea that, if youâre collecting information, itâs vital to keep it in chronological order, that way you can look at it, (try to) understand it, and theorize about what happened before and after an event. If the facts are out of order, the conclusion you reach may be in error.
My father and I also like to solve True Crime together. When he visits, we spend hours on the porch studying some random, usually cold, true crime event. We timeline the shit out of it, connect the puzzle pieces together, and exclaim in the end, âWeâve solved it!â I suppose that is part of what keeps me interested in Lukola â not that there is anything criminal in Lukola, except perhaps the âSingle White Femaleâ that pops up behind Nicola from time to time â I just enjoy the game of trying to put the pieces together.
Lukola has become a rather intriguing puzzle, donât you think? Itâs definitely one to which I do not have all the pieces. I do, however, enjoy collecting the information and chronologizing it, and now I find it enjoyable to scribble my thoughts out on Tumblr.
So, how did I get here?
Well, it started with boredom and ended with a timeline.
My first entry to the timeline?
July 20, 2024.
What happened on that date?
Well, nothing spectacular really, except JVN posted â
HOLD UP!
HOLD THE FUCK UP!!
OH SHIT!!
YES!
YES, you guessed it! After blowing JVN off for at least three, maybe four, posts in a row, Iâm finally getting around to dedicating an entire entry to Their Royal Highness.
JVN is such a fascinating creature. I mean, you get beautiful, witty, and intelligent wrapped into one human being. Oh, and they are kind of a catty bitch, too, and who doesnât love one of those? Thatâs why they're the Heart of the Ocean on the USS Lukola; they just give off this very rare blue diamond vibe. Well, that, and because something they did marks the focal point â the heart â from which the rest of my timeline branches.
*I will cut in here to note that I am referring to JVN as they/their in this entry as their Instagram bio indicates they accept âthey/he/she.â
Okay, back to July 20.
On that date, JVN posted to TikTok their version of the Charli xcx âAppleâ dance. You know that annoying TikTok trend that took over our summer? Yeah, thatâs the one â the same one Antonia tried doing â she just couldnât pull off the JVN version of it. Dear girl couldnât come close to matching JVNâs âenthusiasm,â and JVNâs version was only made more enjoyable in that they were seemingly mocking Antonia!
But, allâs fair in love and war, right?
JVNâs bestie, Nicola, had already spent the entire summer subtlety combating Antonia over social media. The vibe in the fandom was that Antonia was always trying to one-up Nicola, with Nicola always coming out the victor. Iâm sorry, Antonia, you just canât beat some perfectly timed BTS drops.
So, why did JVNâs TikTok post intrigue me? It wasnât because it was that amusing. It was because theyâd done something I hadnât noticed before â theyâd taunted Antonia on a public forum.
Curious, that.
Now, Iâm not saying it was the first time JVN mocked Antonia, but July 20 was the first time I noticed it. That date is the heart of my timeline, but it does not have to be the heart of yours. We can all start at different times but still reach the same conclusions, so long as we keep the information in order.
You would think one wouldnât mess with the âgirl friendâ of your best friendâs âbest friend,â at least not publicly. But, here was JVN shamelessly mocking Antonia on TikTok. And, just so weâre clear, the public opinion of what JVN was doing with this TikTok is available to view in the comments of their TikTok post. It wasnât just me that came to this conclusion â and JVN has left these comments up for four months at this point.
JVNâs âAppleâ dance was only made more interesting the following day â July 21 â when they included it in their Sunday Dump post on Instagram.
And, Nicola liked it.
Hmm, things were becoming curiouser and curiouser.
Letâs not even pretend that Nicola isnât street savvy and didnât understand the context of that video. And, letâs definitely not underestimate the length of her claws.
To be honest, I hadnât paid too much attention to Lukola since mid-June. It was an âit is what it isâ thing for me. Even though I believed the relationship between Luke and Nicola was complicated (see my first blog for that story), Luke had also apparently disappeared into the summertime sun with his friend group, which included Antonia.
Something about JVN openly making fun of Antonia, and Nicola, at the very least acknowledging it with an Instagram like, made me realize something in Lukeâs situation must be shifting.
What have I said about little changes? That deviations in modus operandi are what make people start giving the side-eye to a situation.
And, side-eye I did!
I started paying attention to JVN and, on July 25, they posted a series of photos on TikTok and Instagram showcasing âWhat I would wear if you invited me to yourâŠâ We will fast-forward through all the slides until we get to the last one, which read, ââŠjust got dumped and going to take 8 shots dinner at Lupeâs in SoHo.â Was it possible that JVN was hinting at a dumpster fire at the Soho Farmhouse?
If you donât know what the Soho Farmhouse is, itâs the place where Luke and his friend group, including Antonia, frequented, probably on Lukeâs dime (*insert wicked laugh â oh, and a disclaimer that this is all speculation).
Funny that Nicola liked this post on Instagram, too, and it wasnât even buried in a Sunday Dump.
At this point, JVN had really sparked my damn interest. Like, dear one, what are you hinting at?
On July 29, Deux Moi creeped out from under its rock and reminded the fandom to hate Luke by rehashing Papsmear. Thank you, we needed that. I mean, half of us almost forgot how much we hated him! Thatâs me being a sarcastic tart, by the way. If we were to fast-forward to today, Iâd argue that Luke was the most darling thing to come out of Bridgerton.
Any ways, again, thank you, Deux Moi, for those suspiciously timed Papsmear pictures because they aligned perfectly with the pap pictures People dropped the following day â July 30.
Yep, I am talking about those strangely awkward pap pictures of Luke hanging out in the murky waters of Sorrento with Antonia. Oh, and letâs not forget the video footage of that encounter, which I am sure still upsets and confuses people to this day. In fact, I know it does because, as I was researching this, I had a couple of people get annoyed after I asked them to view it. Funny thing is, that shit never bothered me (I didnât say that it didnât later confuse me!). The first time I saw them, I was like, âLuke is not into that girl at all,â and my next thought was, âI wonder how old these pictures are because I would have sworn JVN was hinting at something.â
Now, this story wouldnât be complete if I didnât address the rumor portion of it.
First rumor? That Antonia set up the entire Italy pap photo-op because she seemingly knew where to find the cameraman. So, letâs discuss that video everyone seems to hate to acknowledge exists. In the video, you can see Antonia maybe looking in the direction of the cameraman. She then leans into Luke, either to whisper something to him or to reach for something behind him. In my opinion â and this is strictly my opinion â it looks like sheâs pretending to reach for something over his shoulder. Still shots of this interaction are the photos People published, presumably because Luke and Antonia looked like they were cheek to cheek.
Okay, notice I said, âfirst rumor,â because, yeah, thereâs a second rumor, too! But, it fits snuggly into that first rumor. Almost immediately â because thatâs how fast the Lukola Sleuths get to work around here â rumors began to circulate that Antonia was following on Instagram the photographer that took the Italy pap pictures. In fact, several people Iâve spoken to swear that they witnessed during a TikTok Live a host prove that Antonia was following this photographer. Thatâs a bit suspicious, isnât it? Yeah, it fucking is.
Letâs keep moving.
That same day, we had that video drop of Luke watching fireworks, at night, with sunglasses. Speaking of sunglasses, I guess Luke found those motherfuckers because he sure as shit didnât have them while floating around in that dirty ass water. Any ways, at the end of the video, Rory appears behind Luke, looking in the direction of the camera and smiling like a condescending, sneaky little shit. Now, who was the cameraman? Well, a possible suspect would be Antonia since she was not seen in the video. Go figure.
Alright, so that day finally ended and on July 31, JVN posted to TikTok a cutesy video of themself at the market titled, âWhen you catch someone trying to sneak a pic but you were born for these moments.â They prance around the market and randomly look at the cameraman (Mark) with a smile and a pose. The caption reads, âI welcome sneaky pics but I canât guarantee I wonât sneak some back or put on a show for you.â
WAIT A MINUTE!
Did JVN just inexplicably confirm Luke was getting papped by his own friends?
Yeah, I kind of think JVN did.
And, Nicola liked this one as well when JVN posted it to Instagram on August 8.
Didnât I tell you JVN was a fascinating creature? And, to be honest, JVN only gets better as this Lukola ship continues on its voyage.
Oh, strangely enough, a few days after the Italy pap crap, Luke returned to London alone. The friend group became unsettlingly silent, and Nicola started to get really, really loud â Chaos Week was incoming! And, so were some more JVN crumbs (and nicely timed clap backs).
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The hermit community is pretty old so I probably donât have to say this, but I know a lot of people in the fandom are young; but hereâs a few tips from an old school yog fan
1. just because someone has left or did a bad thing, doesnât mean youâre a bad person for enjoying the content, along with still wanting to watch that old content they did or were a part of
2. Just because someone has left or did a bad thing does not mean you cannot continue to make fan content. While itâs understandable if you donât make more or remove art you have made, you are also not bad if you donât. YouTube is all about collaboration and transformation. Fanart? Fanfic? Cosplay? Thatâs all transformative, you donât have to stop making a new thing from the old thing. Itâs fully in your right to do so, but itâs not required.
3. Do not harass people about whether they do or donât make art or delete art, itâs transformative works and personal choice, the most you should do is ask for it to be tagged so it can be filtered.
4. Donât harass the creators either, itâs clearly been handled and handled well. If this was a case of it being ignored for years by the company or group (COUGH SJIN YOGSCAST COUGH) then it would be more complicated, but itâs a solved issue. Donât harass iskall or stress either
5. You are allowed to hold off on making a value judgment until you have more information. We donât have a lot of information and things around kids media tend to be a lot more stricter then adults for whatâs appropriate. so it could be a lot of different things of highly varying morality ranging from assault to a bad case of public intoxication that didnât fit the child friendly brand of the Hermits. We donât know. Especially about Stress her resignation and how it relates is a near total mystery right now.
6. Be kind to each other, and remember the people you watch are people, and people do dumb or fucked shit sometimes, it sucks, but these are just people, hopefully itâs something to be grown from by Iskall and not something life ruining, but let this remind everyone to not put people on pedestals as unproblematic. Every hermit has probably held an opinion or been a part of something youâd find distasteful, thatâs just what it means to be human. Itâs up to you to decide where your personal line is and your comfort levels on that stuff, and no one can make that choice for you.
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Lilith aspecting Moon
This is a very powerful placement for women specifically. The moon, which is your emotions, connected to the unconscious self, habits, comfort and femininity is connected to the point in your chart that is powerful and dark, a part fuelled by pain, and all about transmutation. These woman often have a very intriguing essence about them. Strong and seductive. It's like you are playing with fire. She enjoys being a little off putting and knows exactly how to be enticing yet intimidating all in one.
Neptune/Venus/Pluto in the 3rd House
The third house is often overlooked when people are speaking on seduction and sex appeal in astrology. People are so focused on visual they miss a key point. Seduction includes all the senses. Someone being beautiful doesn't necessarily mean they are seductive. It's the way someone moves, speaks, the things they say and don't say, how they hold themselves along with present themselves. It's subtle.
This brings me to why the third house comes into play. It inductees how we communicate. As mentioned words can be very seductive. Having planets like Neptune and Venus will give someone a sweet and sensual demeanour when talking. Neptune is very receptive and often these people are incredible at being able to asses the needs of the person they are taking to, it's a very intuitive placement. Neptune is also all about fantasy. Playing into a role you project onto them.
Pluto in the third's seductive tactics are centred around power snd control. Manipulation if you will - not always in the worst sense. They are good at digging for information getting to the base of the persons psyche that they are speaking to. Once again it's about understanding the people around them. You can see how Neptune and Pluto have this in common but the way they use this is different.
Scorpio Rising
I feel like you guys know this one has to be mentioned. And I am sure I have written about this before. However I feel it's important to explain why this rising sign specifically holds such seductive energy. I often hear people talk about their eyes, which is very true. But it goes much deeper than just appearance. Scorpio naturally rules over the 8th house, a house that is very deep and dark. It's shrouded by mystery and taboo, along with being a sexually charged house. Now think about all of these themes being brought into the 1st house. Being at the forefront of someones being in not only the way they look, but they way they carry themselves and interact with the world around them. It's very provocative energy.
But there is more. Though people may assume that because of this scorpios may give off an overt sexual energy, its not quite as obvious one one may think. Whilst there is this air of sex appeal around them, this often doesn't come from being so open and bold about these things, but rather from holding a little something back. As we know scorpio is about the things below the surface, secrets, privacy. This creates a dynamic where people can sense this energy, however they must peel back the layers and investigate more to truly see what these people are like. This can create a push and pull, a little bit of an enigma. It piques the intrigue of people and encourages the chase.
Mercury quintile/Bi-quintile Mars, Pluto or Neptune & Lilith in some cases
Very similar to the previously mentioned third house, Mercury rules over communication, along wit the way we think and process things. Having a quintile or Bi-quintile aspecting mercury it shows us that someone has a particular skill around communication. I have already explained why having Pluto and Neptune connected to areas of your chart dealing with communication creates seduction.
I also included Mars, as Mars is a planet of strategy. Often working towards a goal these people like to win, and are very good at 'winning people over' in conversation. Mars is more of a dominant planet so domination is a tactic often used by these people. Sometimes being commanded is sexy. These people speak strongly which is sexy.
The reason why I put Lilith as a case by case aspect is because as we know, Lilith often states as a place of wounding in a natal chart. It's only after someone has healed those wounds and understood the source of power that that area of their chart is with Lilith sitting there that they can truly start to embody and experience this. Though I will say having Lilith in a quintile or Bi-quintile is often easier. When developed Lilith is a very untamed energy, a little wild and unpredictable. Two traits that are extremely enticing.
Thank you all for reading my loves,
Pureastrowisdom x
Also a quick notice - I have a TikTok account under the name of
.plutonian.priestess
I would love if you would go and follow me on there too where I can post more image based content and eventually go into video style content too.
I am thinking of putting a face to my name and my account as I want you guys to see the person behind my work
#astrology blog#astro notes#astrology#astro observations#astro community#astroblr#natal chart#astro tumblr#lilith asteroid#lilith astrology#scorpio rising#mercury aspects#mercury astrology#third house astrology#3rd house#pluto in astrology#lilith aspects#moon aspects
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âYou Came.â âYou Called.â | Tommy Shelby x Reader
Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!Solomons Sister!Reader
Summary: Tommy Shelby and (Y/N) Solomons despise each otherâŠâŠ.or do they?
Warnings: language, slight sexual situations, weapons, threats
Word Count: 1304
A/N: Iâm sorry this isnât as long as the others have been. I need to get these requests finished and this is what I was able to come out with. I hope youâll still enjoy! Also Iâve tried something a little different at the end - hopefully youâll participate and not be too mad at me for it! :)
A/N 2: Oh and this is the story where the Solomons!Sister won the poll â Iâm not sure if itâs angsty enoughâŠI tried my best with it. Also Iâm sorry if Alfie seems ooc hereâŠitâs been a bit since Iâve written him and Iâm rusty.
COMMENTS & REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! â IâD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE STORY!
comment/message me if youâd like to be tagged!
"You came," she sounded surprised.
"You called," his response was nonchalant.
"Yeah, but I didn't call you."
The story of Tommy Shelby and (Y/N) Solomons is a long, complicated one.
To give a quick summary: they first met the day that Tommy showed up at Alfie's 'bakery. She was the first to greet him and instantly was able to realize that there was more to his motives than what he was letting on.
She was cautious when dealing with him at first, but his charm soon enough chipped away that hesitant exterior she'd put up.
Neither could help but cross the line one late evening after a successful business dinner.
She thought that that would be the end of Tommy Shelby. But now he'd shown up at her door...when she was expecting her brother.
"Where's my brother?" (Y/N) asked, looking to either side of the doorway, hoping that Alfie would be close by.
He wasn't.
"He's busy," Tommy answered.
"So he sent you?" she asked, her brows furrowed.
"Not exactly," he shook his head.
"I'm not understanding what you're saying. Ollie told me that he'd take a note down for Alfie and that he'd inform him as soon as he became available." (Y/N) was confused now.
"I saw the note," he began, "took it upon myself to see what was needed to be discussed."
(Y/N)'s jaw just about dropped. "Tommy, why did you...would you, you shouldn't, you..."
"My name was on the note, love," he cut off her attempt to string words together.
"Just because it was on the note does not mean you were to be involved!" she couldn't stop her voice from raising, her eyes widening as she spoke. Now she was wondering how Ollie had phrased his note to Alfie. A few beats passed before a sigh escaped her lips. She ran a frustrated hand across her face before asking, "what...what did the note say?" Her thoughts had gotten the best of her.
"It said that you needed to speak about Shelby...had some information you wanted to be made known," he answered her, his eyes boring into hers. (Y/N) opened her mouth to say something but he didn't let her, taking a step inside, making her back up in the process. "What is it you wanted to tell him, hmm?"
His close proximity made her heartrate increase. She was quickly losing her ability to think. "Tommy, I..."
"What really was your goal last night, (Y/N)?" he asked her, his brows raising.
The willpower to keep her hands by her sides and not reach out to take hold of him was leaving (Y/N) by the second.
"I thought your intentions aligned with mine..." he trailed off, raising his hand so that he could run it down her jawline in a slow, teasing manner, "at least it seemed that way when you brought me back here."
Instead of dropping his hand when he reached her chin, he grasped it; taking it between his thumb and index finger so that he could raise her fleeing eyes to match his. This action made the breath get caught in (Y/N)'s throat, and every valid argument left her mind the second her eyes locked onto his icy blue ones. All hope was lost now.
"What are your intentions with me, (Y/N)?" he asked her.
"You know them, Tommy, I.." she couldn't quite string a thought together.
"Tell me."
"I.." she paused again, interally freaking out. Think of something, anything, (Y/N), come on! "I wanted to tell him about you...about us," she decided on telling him a lie, hoping that he would take it as the truth.
"Yeah?"
She couldn't decipher what he was truly thinking from his one word response. His widened eyes didn't help either, other than making her fall deeper into his trap with each second that passed. Now she was wracking her brain to think of ways to sell this.
The last thing she wanted to tell him was that she was going to sell him out...to tell Alfie what she felt his true intentions were.
"Yeah," she breathed, nodding her head as much as she could with his fingers still holding her chin. Sell it, (Y/N)!, her mind screamed before she raised her hands up to grip his lapels. All coherent thoughts flew out the window as she leaned in and kissed him.
This wasn't a loving kiss. It wasn't a slow one, unlike the ones they shared last night. She kissed him hard, hoping that the passion she put into it would be enough to get his mind off of the damn note and seal her lie for good.
His hold tightened on her chin, but he didn't break the kiss. In fact, his other hand moved from his side to her hip, where he began bunching up her skirt in order to make contact with her bare skin.
Success.
(Y/N) also became absorbed by the passion that they both were showing. It was hard not to given the fact that he was Tommy Shelby. The night they shared was one of the best she'd ever had. Conniving business man or not, she would remember it for the rest of her life.
"What in the bloody fucking hell is going on here?!"
What (Y/N) did not remember before getting sucked into this situation was to shut the door to her home.
Her eyes shot open and she became frantic, trying to break the kiss and move away from Tommy as quick as she could. "Alfie!" she shrieked, surprise clear on her face.
"Why're you fucking kissing my sister, mate?!" Alfie asked Tommy, speaking with a seething anger.
While (Y/N) was just about shaking from the shock of her brother showing up, Tommy didn't seem to be phased.
"Alfie he...he was just..."
"No," Alfie cut (Y/N) off, shaking his head and stopping her attempt to cover for the man now standing beside her, "I asked him not you. He knows family is off-fucking-limits, so I want him to answer me why."
Tommy said nothing. (Y/N) shrunk into herself more and more with each passing second. She'd never seen Alfie this angry.
"I said fucking answer me!" Alfie bellowed, drawing the revolver he had tucked into his waistband. He wasted no time in cocking it and holding it in Tommy's face.
Tommy still didn't move; didn't even flinch.
"You're going to fucking answer me," Alfie demanded, his voice low and menacing, "yeah, you're going to fucking answer me or it'll be your fucking brains blown out all over (Y/N)'s fucking foyer."
"Alfie, don't," (Y/N) begged her brother, reaching a shaky hand out in hopes that he would see it and lower his weapon.
"She called for you," Tommy spoke, his voice level and stoic.
"She fucking what?" Alfie asked, his brows furrowing slightly, confused by why Tommy was saying this.
âShe called your office. You werenât around. But my name was on the note,â Tommy shared more details.
âAnd what does that have fucking anything to do with you fucking kissing my sister?!â Alfieâs anger had returned.
âIt has everything to do with it,â Tommy was still level-headed. âYou see, she was going to tell you about this, about us,â he then dropped the bomb, motioning between himself and (Y/N) to emphasize the point he was making.
âI can explain,â (Y/N) was quick to blurt out, her eyes trained on the gun in Alfieâs hand, which heâd - thankfully - lowered from being aimed at Tommyâs head.
She couldnât read the look in her brotherâs eyes. The seconds felt like hours as they passed. She stood frozen as Alfie rose the revolver again andâŠâŠ.
Ok Iâm evil, I know butâŠâŠ..
Donât fret, if the pollâs closed by the time youâre reading this, youâre still more than welcome (and Iâd encourage you, actually) to share what you think would happen next!!
p.sâŠ.this story wonât be getting continued. Iâm just curious as to what yâall think.
MASTERLIST
Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21
@mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings
@just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry
@captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @mischievouslittlecreature @stevie75
@lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @cillmequick
@dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety
@justrainandcoffee @dragons-are-my-favorite @mrs-bond @cljordan-imperium @brummiereader
@red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife
@ryecosse @padfootdaredmetoo @novashelby
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders x you#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic
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KIP'S BIG POST OF THINGS TO MAKE THE INTERNET & TECHNOLOGY SUCK A LITTLE LESS
Post last updated November 23, 2024. Will continue to update!
Here are my favorite things to use to navigate technology my own way:
A refurbished iPod loaded with Rockbox OS (Rockbox is free, iPods range in price. I linked the site I got mine from. Note that iPods get finicky about syncing and the kind of cord it hasâ it may still charge but might not recognize the device to sync. Getting an original Apple cord sometimes helps). Rockbox has ports for other MP3 players as well.
This Windows debloater program (there are viable alternatives out there, this one works for me). It has a powershell script that give you a little UI and buttons to press, which I appreciate, as I'm still a bit shy with tech.
Firefox with the following extensions: - Consent-O-Matic (set your responses to ALL privacy/cookie pop-ups in the extension, and it will answer all pop-ups for you. I can see reasons to not use it, but I appreciate it) - Facebook Container ("contains" Meta on Facebook and Instagram pages to keep it from tracking you or getting third party cookies, since Meta is fairly egregious about it) - Redirect Amp to HTML (AMP is designed for mobile phones, this forces pages to go to their HTML version) - A WebP/AVIF image converter - uBlock Origin and uBlacklist, with the AI blacklist loaded in to kill any generative AI results from appearing in search engines or anywhere.
Handbrake for ripping DVDsâ I havenât used this in awhile as I havenât been making video edits. I used this back when I had a Mac OS
VLC Media Player (olâ reliable)
Unsplash & Pexels for free-to-use images
A password manager (these often are paid. I use Dashlane. There are many options, feel free to search around and ask for recs!). There is a lot that goes into cybersecurityâ find the option you feel is best for you.
Things I suggest:
Understanding Royalty Free and the Creative Commons licenses
Familiarity with boolean operators for searching
Investing in a backup drive and external drive
A few good USBs, including one that has a backup of your OS on it
Adapter cables
Avoiding Fandom âwikiasâ (as in the brand âFandomâ) and supporting other, fan-run or supported wikis. Consider contributing if its something you find yourself passionate or joyful about.
Finding Forums for the things you like, or creating your own*
Create an email specifically for ads/shoppingâ use it to receive all promotional emails to keep your inbox clean. Upkeep it.
Stop putting so much of your personal information onlineâ be willing to separate your personal online identity from your âonline identityâ. You donât owe people your name, location, pronouns, diagnoses, or any of that. Itâs your choice, but be discerning in what you give and why. I recommend avoiding providing your phone number to sites as much as possible.
Be intentional
Ask questions
Talk to people
Remember that you can lurk all you want
Things that are fun to check out:
BBSes-- here's a portal to access them.
Neocities
*Forums-- find some to join, or maybe host your own? The system I was most familiar with was vbulletin.
MMM.page
Things that have worked well for me but might work for you, YMMV:
Limit your app usage time on your smartphone if youâre prone to going back to themâ this is a tangible way to âpractice mindfulnessâ, a term I find frustratingly vague ansjdbdj
Things Iâm looking into:
The âPi Holeââ a raspberry pi set up to block all ads on a specific internet connection
VPNs-- this is one that was recommended to me.
How to use computers (I mean it): Resources on how to understand your machine and what youâre doing, even if your skill and knowledge level is currently 0:
This section I'll come back an add to. I know that messing with computers can be intimidating, especially if you feel out of your depth. HTML and regedits and especially things like dualbooting or linux feel impossible. So I want to put things here that explain exactly how the internet and your computer functions, and how you can learn and work with that. Yippee!
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Random Astro Theoryâs
đI have a theory that Saturn's influence on relationships doesnât necessarily mean someone will marry later; in fact, it could indicate the opposite. In the charts of some people I know, Iâve observed that when Saturn is in Cancer aspecting Venus or in the 7th house, there tends to be a strong focus on long-term, serious relationships that can lead to marriage. These individuals prioritize stable, equal partnerships, and while they might be late bloomers, once the time is right, they are committed for real. This could also apply to someone with a Venus-Jupiter aspect in Cancer or Cancer in the 7th house, who might even experience family-arranged marriages or similar situations."
đPlutonic Synastry/Composite isnât about love in the way we typically think of itâitâs about transformation through intensity. It's like entering a vortex that forces you to confront the deepest parts of yourself. This connection is a catalyst for deep inner work. You get caught in this whirlwind, feeling that intoxicating rush of what seems like love, but itâs really more of a temporary trap that pushes you to face everything youâve been avoiding. Itâs like a snake that slides unnoticed through your at first, suddenly strikes with a sharp, unexpected bite. The sting feels like betrayalâlike youâve been deceived or hurt, and the trust you once had is shattered. But that venom coursing through your veins? Its something that you needed, even if it feels like itâs killing you in the moment. The poison is your awakening, forcing you to face your deepest fears and wounds.The process is messy and painful. Itâs like being in a pressure-cooked cocoon, where the heat of it all brings everything to the surface. All the things you didnât want to deal with fear, trauma, insecurities come pouring out. But once itâs all released, you are left with a new self, one thatâs been purged, cleansed, and rebuilt from the ashes. You come out stronger, more self-aware, and ready to take on the world, like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. đŠđŠđŠ
đI feel like Gemini and Pisces are similar in the way theyâre often disliked or called "flip-floppy" or "fake" due to how broad, diverse, and unrestricted their worlds are. For Gemini, ruled by the twins, they donât just have one way of doing things; itïżœïżœs always split into multiple opinions, perspectives, and options. Whether itâs the information they share, the people in their lives, or even their choices in food, clothes, or money, they will figure things out in different ways. Itâs easy for them to get bored and restless if something doesnât stimulate their mind or offer something new, which is why they can quickly drop things, change their minds, or shift their personalities. So, if a Gemini flips on you, itâs usually because theyâre bored.
As for Pisces they often donât know themselves fully they just know that their reality is more fantasy, where they can take different forms, shape-shift, and be whoever they want. Because of their vivid imagination and deep sensitivity, they easily adapt to their environment, people, or situations, but often only if it serves their so-called limerence or false reality. Once that illusion is cracked and no longer meets their expectations, they can easily disengage or withdraw."
đVenus conjunct Chiron is a placement that gives someone a pure heart and soul when it comes to relationships and connections. These individuals have a unique way of accepting, nurturing, and understanding others in a meaningful, deep way. Theyâve been hurt and betrayed many times, often feeling inferior. Most of the time, they've gone through a difficult, painful phase in life, only to suddenly transform into something beautiful, like a swan emerging from the struggle. They are often misunderstood and incredibly adorable, yet carry an air of quiet strength. People with this placement tend to crave love but often feel unworthy of it, which can lead them to attract unbalanced or unequal relationships. Despite the hardship and challenges they face, they possess an incredible capacity for forgiveness and empathy for others. There's a special allure or charm they exude that effortlessly draws people in. Over time, their biggest lesson will be to learn to value themselves first, to feel whole without relying on external validation whether thatâs money, beauty, or luxury so that they can attract the right kind of people into their lives. In doing so, they also teach others how to do the same.
đChiron doesnât necessarily mean that you will suffer in one specific area of life forever. Since Chiron orbits between Saturn and Uranus, it takes on qualities from both planets. Saturn is about longevity, hard work, and the lessons we learn through persistence. As such, Chiron's energy can be challenging, especially in the beginning. It brings harsh and painful lessons that are meant to help us grow as individuals. However, the pain and suffering tend to lessen over time as we gain wisdom, knowledge, and maturity traits associated with Saturn. If someone doesnât reach a certain level of enlightenment or growth, the cycle can repeat in the same, difficult way, as Saturn teaches us that growth comes through effort and time. But just like in the example above, thereâs the potential for a breakthrough with every Chiron placement. These breakthroughs can be sudden and drastic, unlocking an evolution in our consciousness and allowing us to integrate healing in this life.
đThe Midheaven (MC) shows how people perceive you when they first meet you, not how they view you over time. The 10th house, which contains the MC, is the highest point in the birth chart. Initially, people will see the energy of your MC placement, but as they get to know you better, they can start to appreciate the traits of your 1st house, Ascendant, or Sun sign.
Example: I have Capricorn on my 10th house/MC, conjunct Mars, opposite Saturn.
The Comments: "You look mean, you have resting bitch face, you seem so closed off, I didnât know you could be nice." These are some of the first impressions I hear when people describe how they first saw me. I also get a lot of comments about my body and face being beautiful, but despite that, people donât tend to like me right away. And honestly, I kind of get why.
đThe negative expression of Neptune can be described in just few words in correlation to the planets :
Absence , disillusionment, deception ofâŠ
Sun: your Dad
Moon: your Mum
Venus: your Man/Woman
Mercury: your Perception
Mars: your Power and Will
Jupiter: your Beliefs
Saturn: your Limitation
Uranus: your Freedom
Pluto: your Control and Obsession
ASC: one Self
MC: your Public image
~âąMilliyâą~
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I currently have a "desk job." I definitely couldn't handle retail, but my last role was a physical job.
As a streaming producer, most of my work included hauling heavy gear. Across a site; sometimes across state lines. And basically building a production space from scratch.
A lot of lifting, bending, crawling. Work in tight spaces: we had one setup with a curved desk fully against a wall, the same width as the room. Any time we had to replace a cable or add new gear, I had to crawl under the desk and squeeze into a standing position, between the desk and wall.
I got diagnosed with degenerative disk in my 30s from my career. That kind of physical work.
I like my desk job a lot better. But you can't just slot anyone into it. It doesn't require a credential; other companies prefer a PMP, but we don't. Broadcast is specialized experience, but classrooms and credentials are not the barrier.
Producers on the team who have background to understand it consider it to be overwhelming: they strongly do not want my job. I know, because I advocated for promoting internally when we had openings. They refused because of how difficult the work is.
We filled the roles with people who have experience in the same industry. They were "comfortable" after 3 months of training. That means they could lead projects mostly independently. 2 years later, they're still coming to me for direction on a weekly basis because a lot of our work is highly complex. For people who understand it.
If you pluck someone out of any other job to do it, they're going to fail; they'll leave if they don't get fired. And I mean that in both directions of the nonexistent scale of skilled vs unskilled work: you can't take a scientist out of the lab and have them do my job successfully. Medical doctors will fail much faster. I know this--they're among my clients who turn to me for guidance on the technologies I support.
We also had someone clueless in an "unskilled" desk position for about a year. This individual was absolutely not capable of handling "a basic desk job." They're directly responsible for the success I've had in re-positioning the role as a skilled position.
They were a complete and total disaster in the role; they actively made everyone else's job more difficult and unpleasant. Their peer had to fix upwards of 80% of their work. They wouldn't communicate about their progress, so others missed deadlines--you don't get a do-over in live broadcast, so that greatly increased everyone's stress. Clients would get incorrect information and complain on a regular basis.
They would refuse to fix problems, and make the false claim that they did it correctly, even if their error was openly visible with their signature on it.
This person received personal training for months, written step-by-step documentation of their process, and performed the same tasks every day. But they'd complain or refuse the work if someone else in a different functional area wouldn't give them the exact step-by-step instructions to complete the same basic tasks each time.
The idea that just anyone is capable of doing "a desk job" is based on not knowing what constitutes "a desk job."
I would also add that the entry level desk jobs most likely to have their skill trivialized in this way are administrative assistants. It's a career that is still largely dominated by women; their employers significantly undervalue and underpay their skilled labor already. There are outliers, but this typically an undervalued position.
The amount of time management and organizational skills needed to do that role successfully often goes unnoticed. They need specific people-skills to encourage colleagues and vendors to do work outside of their norm, and to smooth over scheduling mishaps. They require great communication skills that not everyone has.
Trivializing the skill it takes to do their job helps keep them at the bottom of the pay scale. And importantly. Doing that doesn't lift up anyone else, except for the highly paid executives who are pocketing the saved labor costs.
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how I take notes on non fiction books
I recently made a post on my study method, and decided to make a whole separate post on my note taking method. The structure of the notes I write doesn't vary too much from my lecture notes to things I might have to read. A couple of useful informations you might want to know before I start actually talking about note writing is that I am mainly focused on studying history (tho I have had other humanities exams in my degrees), and that I study for oral exams in which the material is mainly composed of non fiction books, but sometimes include articles as well as lecture notes. Somehow I have also failed to mention that I am speaking about HANDWRITTEN NOTES. I only do handwritten notes, I don't work well digitally, so keep that in mind. And with this being said brace yourselves for a very long post. The bullet points I will be making are not really in a specific order and I will be including a few pictures too.
The first step when I am working on the materials for an exam is to figure out in which order I will be reading (and writing notes) the books. This hasn't really much to do with the notes themselves, but it's important to know which of your materials is more general and what other things go more in depth, so that you don't struggle too much while studying. Another plan related thing I always do is to write down each chapter of the book I have to study on my bullet journal and how many pages it is so I can plan my studying more comfortably. If the chapters are very long, and divided in subchapters I sometimes also write those down.
The goal of the notes I write is to fully take the place of the book, so they tend to be very detailed and long. I do this because the very act of writing is part of my study method, and working on things I have written down in my own words is just much better for the type of learner I am. So basically I read the book only once, then it goes back on the shelf and I work exclusively on the notes. This means my notes need to be detailed and well organized.
My method is to read a chapter, underlining important stuff as I am reading, and then right after I am done reading I work on the notes for that chapter before moving onto the next. I do this because it makes the note writing more effortless, I am fresh with informations I just read and I basically just need to skim over what I have underlined.
On underlining, since it is so important. I underline everything I will be including in my notes, it might seem much as sometimes it consists of full paragraphs, instead of key words. But this is okay because my notes I don't just copy and paste.
To create useful notes you need to be re-elaborating the informations. You need to read, understand what you read, and be able to write it down using your own words. That way the notes will be easier to review, they will often be composed of shorter sentences, and by doing so you are also actively making writing part of your studying and not just a mindless activity.
Personally I don't work well with full pages summaries, I need the text to be visually broken into sentences/small paragraphs, and I use a lot of symbols as well as abbreviations.
Symbols and abbreviations are in a way part of your very own language when you are writing notes, you tend to develop these with time, but they are so useful. I personally use different types of arrows, all caps words, position of the text in the page, different methods of highlighting and abbreviations (usually for words that come up often like country names, for example Italy becomes ita, France becomes fr, etc.).
Your notes need to be useful for you, they don't have to necessarily be comprehensible for another person (which means you can and will fuck up sentence structure because sometimes skipping a couple of words makes the notes shorter and still understandable), and they do not have to be pretty. They should be as tidy as possible, but again that might change from person to person, I have some very messy looking notes that make total sense to me. With time you'll learn what works best for you.
I have a visual memory so as I mentioned titles, highlighters, all caps, the placement on the page and other similar things are very important in my notes. I cannot fully exapain some of these things because some definitely only make sense to me in the moment (like the words I choose to write in all caps, or the way I highlight things).
I like to have a clear chapter and subchapter break (so that in case I need to refer back to the book it's super effortless). I like to write those with a red pen, usually the chapter title is in all caps and the subchapter in coursive, but it really depends.
I use only two highlighters in each set of notes yellow for dates, and the colour I associate with the book/the subject of the book (I have synesthesia I don't make the rules when it comes to colours). This of course might change depending your preferences and on the element of your notes you want to focus on. I like to have spacific colour for dates and time periods, because of course while studying history that is a fundamental element. If you are focusing on other subjects you might want to have a specific colour for names, or other elements.
I like to leave a big side margin to add either key words (especially in lecture notes since they might be messier and jump around informations more often), or additional information in a second time (sometimes it happens, after you read another book, or attended a particular lecture you have to add a couple of sentences and I rather have a blank space that never gets used rather than no space at all for emergencies).
I honestly mentioned everything that came to mind right away, but since note writing is now basically a mindless skill I have been practicing for years I surely forgot about something. I might end up adding to this post in the future or write another one. My note-writing method has also changed a lot thought the years from high school to university, it's a skill I have been perfecting for the past decade. This to say that depending on what you are working on things might change, and by experimenting with different things you might find out things that work very well for you. If you have any questions on specific things I didn't mention or that wen't clear my inbox is always open and I am more than happy to help.
Since this post is already very very long I am adding the pictures below the cut
Example of a page of notes before and after highlighting
Example of symbols and structure of the notes and the way I highlight things (in which you'll hopefully be able to understand my handwriting, and in which there might be some spelling errors but alas that often happens in my real notes as well so if there are any it's for the sake of accuracy lmao). If I end up adding informations on the margins I always use a pen of a different color so I can tell which informations I got from what source (ex. main notes from lecture, colorful notes from additional article).
Example of messier notes in which the main text in black are the notes I took during lectures and the additional colorful text was added while writing the materials (I rarely do this, it usually happens when the lectures follow a book precisely, which happens when we have to study books or summaries written by the professor). As you can see I often use post it notes to add more writing space, and sometime I even use them to create visually separated sections. If I end up adding some drawings I also usually like to have them on post it notes so they stand out more (and if you are wondering why the hell would an history student need drawings it's usually either because I need a map or a region/state to mark things out, or when studying for archaeology exams I often needed visual references, for example to identify different types of vases or decorations).
#this should be it#i was hoping on a more structured post but it was harder than i expected to write#both because so much of note writing is now a brainless activity for me and also bc it's really not easy to exaplain certain aspects#like the symbols i use#i really did my best and hope it will be useful#then again if y'all have questions the inbox is open and i will try my best to answer whatever your heart desires#studyblr#studyinspo#studying#study tips#study advice#note taking#hadwritten notes#my note taking method#how to take notes#non fiction books#academia#uniblr#university#booklr#study method#mine#the---hermit
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Mythal and Solas: Manifestation
I'm fascinated by how newly revealed Solas lore add context to everything he did n DAI.
Taking on a body is a turning point for Solas, but also for his relationship with Mythal. We know form DAV it was...unhealthy, to say the least.
You learn more about Mythal's character once you draw parallel between Morrigan & Solas. Both of them said to be, by Mythal, people she cared deeply about. Yet it doesn't mean she is above using them.
DAO:
Flemeth: You have been itching to get out of the Wilds for years. Here is your chance. As for you, Wardens, consider this repayment for your lives. Morrigan: MotherâŠthis is not how I wanted this.I am not even ready- Flemeth:You must be ready. Alone, these two must unite Ferelden against the darkspawn. They need you, Morrigan. Without you, they will surely fail, and all will perish under the Blight. Even I. Morrigan: IâŠUnderstand.
DAV:
Mythal: You have so long observed the world. Why not consider joining it? Solas: But I have no desire to live as humans. I have the Fade. Besides, this talk of taking on a solid formâŠI think you underestimate the danger. When you took the glowing stone to build your body, did the earth not shake? Mythal: The lyrium gives us the strength we had when we were of the Fade. We are the best of physical and spirit. I need your wisdom, Solas, to withstand the louder voices who will go too far, like Elgarânan. I need you. Solas: This is madness. You must know that. (Sighs) I will always follow where you go.
Mythal (or Flemeth) wants to have something from both Solas and Morrigan. Bring Solas to her side. Send Morrigan to acquire an old god soul. In both cases, Mythal shows a similar manipulation strategy.Â
Try to present it as something they would want (Solas, wouldnât you like to experience something you looked at for so long? Morrigan, wouldn't you like to finally explore the world beyond the Wilds?)
Frame the request as if thatâs the right thing to do and only they can help (Without your wisdom,Solas, others will go too far. Without you, Morrigan, warners will surely fail.)
Appeal to what they feel for Mythal (I need you, Solas. Without you helping the wardens, Morrigan, I will die.)
In retrospect, all the signs were there. In the very conversation she ignores his boundaries, coerces him into giving what she wants and ignores his wisdom.
p.s.: It's unfortunate that we don't really have much information about Mythal and her side of the story when Elvhenan was forming. I wonder why she took on a body in the first place.
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Long-Distance Call | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Warnings: lots of arguing, angst, everyone's saying things they don't mean, canon violence, canon gore
Word Count: 5056
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For hours most nights recently, you watched Dean sleep. In the dim light coming in through the cheap curtains in motel rooms, you would make out the details of his face and trace your eyes along them. He was just so beautiful, and you considered yourself incredibly lucky for every day you got to spend with him; despite the fact that those days were coming to an end.Â
Dean knew you hadnât been sleeping, but you couldnât bring yourself to tell him why.Â
Sam was driving himself crazy talking to witch doctors, professors, and demonologists trying to wrap his head around a way to break Deanâs deal. You didnât get involved, though; you knew it was futile to do so.Â
You werenât sure if feeling helpless and knowing the situation was helpless was better than feeling helpless and trying to gain control of the situation, but you knew Sam probably felt as horribly as you did.Â
âYâknow, someday, if we ever get a houseâ it could happen!â you assured Dean off his skeptical look. âWe should get a couch. Itâd be better for our backs than sitting on Baby or these shitty mattresses.â
You sat up facing Dean who lounged on the headboard in your shared motel room. Tension had been high between the brothers recently, and you decided it was best for the three of you to bunk separately.Â
âYou are annoyingly optimistic, you know that?â he replied.Â
âI like to think of myself as more of a realist,â you returned. âBut Iâm trying to be more like you lately.â
âWhat do you mean?â Dean asked. His eyes held such an intensity when he looked at you.Â
In vulnerable moments like these, you couldnât bear to look back at him. You opted for looking down at the mattress or, really, anywhere other than his face. âI mean, your whole thing is being annoyingly biting and sarcastic andâ I mean, you just have the most amazing sense of humorâ even when things suck major ass. And I donât know how you do it. But⊠itâs admirable.â When your eyes returned to his face, he was looking at you with such pride and admiration.ïżœïżœ
âWhat?â you asked.
âI just love you,â he said.Â
You grinned widely and reached for his hand. You held it for just a moment before speaking again. âWhen are you gonna tell Sam?â
âWhat?â
âThat we canât save you.â
He sighed. â(Y/N)ââ
âNo, Dean, he deserves to know.â You shifted to your knees from your cross-legged position. âHeâs on a wild goose chase instead of enjoying the time he has with you.â
âHeâs a grown man, he can make his own choices,â Dean insisted, hand retreating from yours. He crossed his arms over his chest.
You gave him a look. âAnd maybe heâd make different choices if he had all the information about the situation available to him.â
âAlright, professor, no need to lecture me,â he grumbled, getting out of bed.
âDeanâ! Donât get mean just because youâre pissed at yourself and this whole situation,â you said, standing to face him. âLook, Iâm only saying something because I donât want the last few weeks of your life to be spent fighting with your brother.â
âWay to put that in perspective, (Y/N), thank you,â Dean spat.Â
âSee, this is when your attitude pisses me off beyond belief,â you argued. âIâm trying to have a conversation with you, and youâre being a complete dick. This didnât have to turn into a fight, and Iâm not understanding why it did!â
âBecause youâre my girlfriend, not my fucking therapist,â he responded. âI donât need you to tell me how to live my life.â
âOkay, this clearly isnât about me.â You shook your head, turning away from him to grab your shorts and shoes.Â
âThen, whatâs it about, (Y/N)?âÂ
You turned back to him. âClearly, this is about your deal.â âOh, my god,â Dean scoffed.
âYouâre runninâ out of time. Youâre scared, and youâre lashing out. Itâs crap. I only wanna help you because I love you,â you told him. âAnd Iâm not gonna tolerate you getting mean with me just because I told you something you didnât wanna hear.â
âWhere are you going?â Dean asked, seeing you stomp toward the door.Â
âOut,â you replied. âDonât follow me.â
***
That night, after yet another argument, you convinced Dean to let you sleep in his car and have him take the bed because you knew you wouldnât get much sleep anyway. You were hurt and angry, but you missed holding Dean. You missed memorizing his features while he slept and finally seeing him at peace.Â
And the next morning, the situation was no better. Now, instead of Dean and Sam fighting, it was you, Dean, and Sam fighting.Â
Sam had gone to talk to another person about how to potentially break Deanâs deal. âSo, the professor doesn't know crap.â
âShocking,â Dean commented. âPack your panties, guys, we're hitting the road.â
âWhat? What's up?â Sam asked.Â
âThat was Bobby.â He gestured to the phone heâd just hung up. âSome banker guy blew his head off in Ohio, and he thinks there's a spirit involved.â
âSo, you two were talking a case?âÂ
âNo, we were actually talking about our feelings. And then our favorite boy bands,â Dean replied dryly. âYeah, we were talking a case!â
âDean, stop being an ass,â you scolded.Â
âWell, get Sam to stop asking stupid questions.â Sam huffed. âSo, a spirit? What?â
âYeah, the banker was talking about some sort of electrical problems at his pad for like a week. Phone was going haywire, computer was flipping on and off,â Dean explained. âThis is not ringing your bell?â He pressed when Sam looked at him skeptically.Â
âWell, sure, yeah. But, Dean, we're already on a case,â the younger one replied.Â
âWhose?â Dean asked.Â
âYours!â
âRight. Yeah. Well, you coulda fooled me,â the older scoffed.Â
âWhat the hell else have we been doing lately other than trying to break your deal?â Sam protested.Â
âChasing our tails, that's what. Sam, we've talked to every professor, witch, soothsayer and two-bit carny act in the lower forty-eight. Nobody knows squat! And we can't find Bela, we can't find the Colt. So until we actually find something, I'd like to do my job.â
âWe should summon Ruby,â Sam suggested.Â
âI'm not gonna have this fight with you.â Dean shook his head.Â
Sam continued anyway. âShe said she knows how to save you.â
âAbout that, Dean has something he wants to tell you.â You turned to your partner expectantly with your arms folded.Â
âWhat?â Sam asked, looking between the two of you.Â
Dean was giving you a glare which you returned.Â
âDean, what?â Sam asked again.Â
âShe canât save me,â Dean answered finally, still holding your glare.Â
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sam turn back to you. â(Y/N)â?â
âShe told us she canât save him, Sam,â you admitted.Â
Sam turned his anger toward you. âWhoa, so youâve known this whole time and havenât told me?âÂ
âIt wasnât mine to tell, Sam!â
âYeah, but the both of you still kept a secret from me,â he responded.Â
âYou really wanna talk about who's keeping secrets from who?â Dean snapped.Â
You turned to the car.Â
âWhere are you going?â Dean called after you.Â
âGuess weâre going to Ohio.â
***
You were silent for the entirety of the ride to the deceasedâs house. Dean and Sam only spoke to make a snarky remark directed at each other or at you, but you refused to respond.Â
You asked the woman what happened to her husband, and she reluctantly told you that he kept talking to a woman named Linda on the phone. However, there was no one on the other line when she would pick it up to check.Â
Curious about who this woman could have been, you and the brothers returned to the motel to research.Â
âLinda's a babe. Or, was,â Dean commented.Â
Your heart dropped. You knew he was kidding, but now was so not the time to make jokes like that. âDonât say shit like that, please.â
âSheâs dead, (Y/N),â he replied dryly. âDonât be jealous.â
âI just think itâs in really poor taste to say that right now considering the state our relationshipâs in,â you told him, trying to remain as calm as possible.Â
He slammed his laptop shut. âAre you seriously picking a fight with me over this? Right now?â
Sam interrupted before you could respond. âOh-kay! Thatâs enough. Whoâs Linda?â
âLinda Bateman.â Dean turned his eyes away from you. âShe and Ben Waters were high school sweethearts.â
âSo what happened?â Sam asked.Â
âDrunk driver hit them head on. Ben walked away.â
âSo, what then? Dead flame calls to chat?â Sam wondered aloud.
âYou would think, but Linda was cremated. So why's she still floating around?â
âYou got me,â Sam shrugged.Â
âWhat about that, uh, caller I.D?â Dean asked his brother, referring to the number heâd found on Benâs phone.Â
âTurns out, it's a phone number,â Sam replied. âIt's about a century old, back from when phones had cranks.â
âSo, why use that number to reach out and touch someone?â Dean returned.Â
âGot me there too, but we should put a trace on it.â
âWell how the hell are we going to put a trace on something that's over one-hundred years old?â
Sam suggested that the three of you should head to Benâs phone companyâs local office posing as representatives of their headquarters.Â
âYou guys go ahead without me,â you said.Â
âOh, câmon, (Y/N)ââ
You cut Dean off. âNo. Both of us need space before we kill each other. So, please. Go.â
âWhatever,â Dean grumbled and stormed out of the room.
Sam stayed behind with you for a moment. âIâm sorry about him,â he said.
You sniffled, wiping away tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. âItâs okay. Just a rough patch, I guess. Call me when yâall have something.â
He nodded and pulled you into a hug. Sam placed a quick kiss on the crown of your head before following his brother out of the door.Â
***
Sam called to inform you that the number had called over a dozen people multiple times over the last week. So, you and the Winchesters split up to investigate. Without a car, you stayed in the motel room and called the numbers Sam had forwarded to you posing as a representative of the phone company. One of the people youâd spoken to said that heâd been hearing his deceased brother calling him to reconcile the broken relationship theyâd had when his brother passed away.Â
Just as you hung up the phone with him, Dean burst into the room and immediately started pacing.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked.Â
Dean didnât answer.Â
Sam sat at the table in the room. âHe said our dad called him.â
âNo fucking way,â you breathed out. âYou really think it was him?â
âI don't know, maybe,â Dean grunted.Â
âWell, what did he sound like?â Sam asked.Â
âLike Oprah!â the older brother snapped. âLike Dad; he sounded like Dad, what do you think?â
âWhat did he say?â you questioned.Â
âMy name,â Dean replied.Â
âThatâs it?â Sam pressed.Â
âCall dropped out.â
You shook your head and folded your arms, sitting cross-legged on Samâs bed. After the recent fights with Dean, youâd decided to get a room separate from the two brothers and had been hanging out in their room all day. âWhy would he even call in the first place, Dean?â
âI don't know, (Y/N)! Iâm not a fucking psychic,â he snarked. âWhy are ghosts calling anybody in this town? But I mean, other people are hearing from their loved ones, why can't we? It's at least a possibility, right?â
You wanted to chew him out for snapping at you like that, but you truly had no energy to put up another fight.Â
âYeah, I guess?â Sam replied in your place.Â
âOkay, so what if....â Dean trailed off, only looking at his brother. âWhat if it really is Dad? What happens if he calls back? What do I say?â
âHello,â you suggested.Â
âHello?â he scoffed.Â
You shook your head and rolled your eyes.Â
âThat's what you come back with. Hello?â Dean continued.Â
âFuck off, Dean,â you sneered.Â
Dean huffed, grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door.Â
Sam shot you a puppy-dog-eyed look and turned to the door to stare after his brother.Â
You sighed and buried your face in your hands.Â
â(Y/N)?âÂ
You picked your head up.Â
âWhatâs happening to you guys?â
âI donât know,â you admitted, tearing up. âWe started fighting âcause I told him to tell you about the whole âRubyâ thing, and I said some mean shit, and he said some mean shit, and itâs just a mess now.â
Sam gave you another puppy-dog-eyed look.Â
âItâll be fine, though. Iâm sure itâll blow over.â
If it was even possible, Samâs face dropped even further.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â you smiled lopsidedly, knowing he just didnât know how to help. âCan we talk about something other than my boy drama?â
Sam nodded. âSure.âÂ
***
For the next few hours, you scoured the internet for information on the âSHA33â number that was calling these poor people.Â
Dean returned with caustic remarks to spare. âFind anything?â he asked Sam while pretty much blatantly ignoring you.Â
âAfter three hours, Iâve found no reason why anything supernatural would be going on here,â Sam sighed, shutting his laptop.Â
âMe neither, Dean, thanks for asking,â you said.Â
âWell, you know, you think a Stanford education and a high school hook up rate of zero-point-zero would produce better results than that,â Dean scoffed at Sam.
âHilarious,â you deadpanned, hoping to elicit some sort of a response from Dean.Â
He shot you a glare, but other than that, he said nothing. Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet. âMotel pamphlet rack.â He dropped it on the coffee table along with a few books. âMilan, Ohio. Birthplace of Thomas Edison.â
âSo what?â you asked.Â
Sam grabbed a book and leafed through it.Â
Dean just raised his eyebrows at you as Sam looked up from the book.Â
âYou're kidding,â he said.Â
Dean smirked as his brother.Â
***
Well, a huge waste of time was the only thing Deanâs suggestion led to. The tour you went on at a museum showed the invention Thomas Edison believed could communicate with spirits and informed you that he was a devout occultist. However, the âspirit phoneâ didnât set off the EMF detector.Â
Sleep refused to claim you. Your anxiety kept your mind racing through the long hours of the night. You sat at the table in your room staring at the door just waiting for Dean to knock. However, despite it being three in the morning, he hadnât come yet. Your fights had all been stupid and petty, but both of you were too stubborn to be the first to admit fault.Â
And with each passing night, you could feel the clock ticking. You knew Dean was running out of time, and you just wanted him to hold you again. As the sun rose, your heart sank knowing he hadnât come to make things right with you.Â
You stayed in your room upset until Sam called you to come over to theirs.Â
âWhatâs up?â you asked upon entering.Â
âThat girl Lanieââ Sam was referring to the victim heâd spoken toâ âher Mom's ghost spooked her out pretty bad last night.â
âThat sucks,â said Dean, typing furiously on his laptop.Â
âWhat⊠are you doing, Dean?â you asked hesitantly.Â
He looked at you briefly; the expression on his face confusing. He looked back down at his computer. âI think my dadâs right. I think the demon is here. Check it out.â He handed you some papers and dug around in his bag.Â
âWhat is this, weather reports?â you asked, leafing through the papers.
âOmens. Demonic omens,â he responded. âElectrical storms everywhere we've been for the past two weeks.â
Trepidatiously, you said, âI don't remember any lightning storms.â
âWell, I don't remember you studying meteorology, either,â he snapped.
âSo much for us being civil,â you thought.Â
âBut I'm telling you, that bastard's been tailing me; wearing some poor dude's meat,â Dean finished.Â
Sam took some of the pressure off you. âAnd itâs following you becauseâŠ?â he asked.Â
âI guess I'm big game, yâknow? My ass is too sweet to let outta sight.â Dean threw a wink at you, and you were getting incredibly thrown off by his changing attitude.Â
âOkay. Sure,â Sam snorted.
Dean snatched the papers back from you. âDon't get too excited, Sammy. Might pull something.â He stood from the bed and moved away from you and his brother.
âDean, look, I wanna believe this man, I really doâŠâ
Dean cut his brother off. âThen believe it! if we get this sucker, it's Miller Time.â
âYeah, that's another thing. Dad rattles off an exorcism that can kill a demon? I mean, not just send it back to hell, but kill it?â Deanâs eyes lit up. âI've checked it out. This is heavy duty Dark Ages. Fifteenth century.â
âDean,â you said softly. âI checked on it, too. So did Sam. So did Bobby.â
âOkay, and?â he scoffed.Â
Sam jumped in. âLook, it definitely is an exorcism, okay, there's just no evidence it can kill a demon.â
âNo evidence it can't,â he rebutted.Â
âDeanâŠâ you trailed off, not wanting to start a bigger fight.Â
âHey, as far as I'm aware the only one of us who has actually been to Hell is my dad. And maybe he picked up a couple of tricks down there, like which exorcisms work,â he snapped.Â
âMaybe!â you replied. âI hope so; for your sake. But we gotta be sure.â
âWhy aren't we sure?â he asked.Â
ââCause I don't know what's going on around here, Dean!â you cried. âI mean, some guy blows his brains out, a little girl is scared out of her witsââ
âWow, a couple of civvies are freaked out by some ghosts. News flash, (Y/N), people are supposed to be freaked out by ghosts!â he shot back.Â
You held his stare venomously. Dean eventually dropped his head in frustration.Â
âDad tell you where to find the demon?â Sam asked carefully.Â
âI'm waiting on the call!â he shouted.Â
The tension in the room was thick, and you had no idea what to say.
Sam sighed deeply and tried to change the subject. âI told Lanie I'd stop by.â
Dean scoffed. âOh, good, yeah. No, you go hang out with jailbait. Just, uh, watch out for Chris Hansen. Meanwhile I'll be here getting ready to, yâknow, save my life.â
Sam shook his head and turned to the door. You just stared at the floor.Â
âYou two are unbelievable, yâknow that?â Dean shouted. âI mean, for months, weâve been tryinâ to break this demon deal. Now, Dadâs about to give us the fuckinâ address, and you blink? The man is dead, and youâre still butting heads with the guy?!â He turned his attention to you. âAnd you? What happened to us? What happened to your âunconditional supportâ?â
âDean, you still have it!â you replied. âThat was never in question! What Iâm questioning is where your fuckinâ headâs at. Because this is not you.â
âOh, god.â He rolled his eyes and began to pace.Â
âIâm not gonna mince my words,â you began, anger boiling to the surface. âThis is fuckinâ crazy. I mean, there is no proof. At all. All youâre acting on is blind faith.â
âYeah, well, maybe!â He shouted back. âYâknow, maybe that's all I got, okay?â
You held his stare, the anger melting out of you at his words. When you could see tears forming in his eyes, he looked at the floor.Â
Sam piped up. âPlease. Just please don't go anywhere until I get back. Okay, Dean? Please.âÂ
Dean stayed silent.Â
âCâmon, (Y/N),â Sam urged you.Â
You looked up at Dean. For the first time that week, he offered you a kind word. âGo. Itâs okay.â
You nodded. As you turned to go, you stared over your shoulder back at Dean.Â
***
At Lanieâs house, the young girl got you up to speed on what happened to her the night before.Â
âHave you told your father about any of this?â Sam asked her.
âAnd bother him at work?â she replied. âNo. He wouldn't believe me anyway, he'd just chuck me into therapy.â
âSo what did your mother say?â you asked.Â
âShe wanted to see me. So at first I thought I was supposed to go to the cemetery,â she sniffled.Â
âDid you?â Sam prompted.Â
Lanie nodded meekly. âNothing happened. But then she started asking me to do other things.â
âWhat sort of things?â
She almost seemed embarrassed to say. âBad things.â
You crouched down and looked up at her, breaking her gaze from the floor. âLanie, please. Can you tell me what happened? Itâs very important.â
She teared up, young eyes swimming in fear and sadness. âMom told me to go to Dad's medicine cabinet.â
You waited patiently for her to continue.Â
âShe wanted me to take his sleeping pills.â She stopped for a minute to gather her courage. âTake all of his sleeping pills.â
âShe wanted you to kill yourself?â Sam couldnât help himself from saying.Â
She nodded, crying harder. âWhy would my Mom want me to do that?â
You shook your head. âI donât know.â
âShe just kept saying, âcome to me,â like, a million times,â she hiccuped.Â
Your eyes widened. âOh, sweet girl, that's not your mother.â You stood from the ground.Â
Sam told Lanie, âListen to me. Don't answer the phone. Don't use the computer. Don't do anything unless I say to, alright?â
You started down the stairs and listened carefully; just one set of footsteps was following you. You turned back to see Lanie still at the top of the stairs. âYou okay?â
Her breathing was quick. âWhere's Simon?â
âSimon?â you asked.Â
âMy little brother,â she responded.Â
The next thing you knew, you were watching Sam shove the little boy out of the way of a speeding truck from the porch of Lanieâs house.Â
Immediately, you called Dean. âDean, itâs not your dad,â you rushed out.Â
âThen what is it, (Y/N)?â he asked flippantly.Â
âA crocotta,â you answered.Â
âWhat is that, a sandwich?â he scoffed.Â
âThey typically live in filth. Mimic loved ones. Whisper, âCome to me,â then lure you into the dark and swallow your soul,â you stated.Â
Sam motioned for you to head to his rental car as soon as he delivered Simon to his sister safely. You followed quickly.Â
âA crocotta, right, damn, that makes sense,â he snarkily replied.Â
âDean, câmon, babeââ
He cut you off. âHey, don't these things live in filth?â
âYeah,â you replied.Â
âOh, god, at the phone company there were these flies. Pretty much as soon as we got down to the basement where this guy Stewie was hanginâ out,â he rushed out.Â
âOkay, uh, okay,â you nodded. âMeet us there.â
You brought Sam up to speed on the conversation youâd had with Dean, and as night fell, he sped to the phone company.Â
***
Despite calling Dean several times, you and Sam had to keep moving forward with the case. You watched as the man Sam described to you as Stewie unlocked his car. Silently, you rushed him with a metal spike. You shoved him down onto the car and held a metal spike to the back of his neck.
Stewie grunted. âWhat the hell?!â
âI know what you are,â you spat. âAnd I know how to kill you.â
âWait, waitâ Please! If we're overcharging you for the call waiting or something I- I can fix that. I am your friend!â he stammered.Â
Confusion overtook you, and you turned to an equally confused Sam. You suddenly noticed a man standing behind him with a bat. âSam, look out!â you cried.Â
But it was too late. He was hit over the head with a bat, and you released the man in front of you. You threw your spike at him, but he caught it just before it hit him. He stalked toward you, and the man smiled widely. The man youâd been holding down shoved you to the ground from behind, and you were knocked out, too.
***
When you next came to, your wrists and feet were bound; that was the first thing you felt. Your head pounded, and your wrists ached from how tight the bindings were. When you opened your eyes, you turned your head to see Stewie was dead and bleeding profusely from his chest.Â
You shrieked in horror, and then, the man whoâd knocked you out appeared in front of you. âThe fuck is wrong with you?!â you snarled.
He just laughed mockingly as he stalked between you and Sam.Â
You realized something. âMy last call with Dean. That was you. You led us here.â
âSome calls I make, some calls I take, but you have to admit, I had you fooled for a while. All that Edison phone crap,â he chuckled. He moved over to a telephone exchange cabinet and sighed in ecstasy.Â
âWhat are you doing?â Sam asked.Â
âIâm killing your brother,â he smiled. âOr maybe I'm killing another guy. We'll just have to see how it goes.â
***
The creature removed the knife from the chest of the man beside you. You grimaced at the wet squelching sound it made as he did.Â
âYâknow, mimicking Dean's one thing. But my Dad?â Sam complimented mockingly. âThat's a hell of a trick.â
âWell, once I made you two as hunters, it was easy. I found Dean's number, then your number, then your father's numbers. Then, emails, voicemails, everything. You see, people think that stuff just gets erased, but it doesn't. You'd be surprised how much of yourself is just floating out there, waiting to be plucked,â the creature grinned.Â
âDeanâs not an idiot,â you stated sharply. âHeâs not gonna kill that guy.â
âThen the guy kills him,â he shrugged. âAnd I kill you two. And here I thought I was only getting one hunter.â He stalked toward you, and you struggled harder. âNow, Iâve got another. And a pretty one, at that.â
You reared back and spat in his face. Almost like a reflex, he immediately backslapped you.Â
Unfazed, your head returned to a neutral position and you just glared at him.Â
âIâm gonna enjoy this,â he said, tracing the knife down your cheek. âTechnology. Makes life so much easier. Used to be, I'd hide in the woods for days, weeks, whispering to people, trying to draw them out into the night. But they had community, they all looked out for each other, I'd be lucky to eat one or two souls a year. Now when I'm hungry, I simply make a phone call. You're all so connected. But you've never been so alone.â
Just as the manâs jaw unhinged like a snake to reveal rows of teeth, Sam came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his neck in a chokehold. You sat patiently while Sam and the crocatta struggled for the knife. You watched both men slam each other into various surfaces until they disappeared from view.Â
You couldnât do anything to help yourself, and you anxiously waited forâ hopefullyâ Samâs return into the room.Â
Much to your relief, Sam stumbled back in minutes later. You grinned up at him happily.
***
You were the one to drive Samâs rental car back to the motel seeing as he was injured and sore from his fight with the monster. You went at least twenty miles-an-hour over the speed limit for the entirety of the drive.Â
You burst into Sam and Deanâs room, and you began to panic when you didnât see him there.Â
Then, you checked your room, breathing out in relief when you saw Dean holding a wash cloth to his eye. âDean!â You ran to him, kneeling down in front of him.
He looked up at you, and you immediately kissed him passionately. He returned your kiss eagerly. When you broke away from him, you took the cloth from Deanâs hands gently to help him clean the wound.
âSweetheart,â he said. âIâ Iâm so sorry.â
You placed your free hand on his knee. âWeâll talk in a minute, alright? Let me clean you up first.â
He nodded.Â
***
âThere,â you told him having placed the final bandage on his assortment of cuts. âThat guy kicked the shit out of you.â Although Dean would normally laugh at jokes like that, his countenance was completely serious. âIâm so sorry,â he repeated.Â
âI know,â you said softly. âI am, too.â
âI justâ I lashed out, and that wasnât fair to you. You were right,â Dean admitted. âIt scares me how well you can fuckinâ read me. And with everything going on, I justââ
âI get it,â you cut him off. âIâm sorry, too. I was being petty. I got mean, too.â You paused for a moment. âIâm sorry it wasnât really your dad.â
Dean looked down at the ground. âNaw, I gave you a hell of a time on this one.â He huffed. âI wanted to believe so badly that there was a way outta this. I mean, I'm staring down the barrel at this thing. You know, Hell. For real, forever, and I justâŠâ he trailed off, unable to finish.Â
Your eyebrows scrunched sadly, and your eyelashes flickered.Â
âIâm scared, sweetheart. Iâm⊠Iâm really scared.â As tears pooled in his eyes, he couldnât seem to meet yours.Â
You nodded, tearing up as well. âI know.â
âI guess I was willing to believe anything. You know, the last act of a desperate man,â he tried to joke through his stifled cries.Â
âI canât believe Iâm saying this, but thereâs nothing wrong with having hope, Dee,â you told him gently.Â
âHope doesn't get you jack squat,â he scoffed. âI can't expect Dad to show up with some miracle at the last minute. I can't expect anybody to, yâknow? I mean, the only person that can get me out of this thing is me.â
âAnd Iâm right there with you,â you told him. âEvery step of the way. To Hell and back.â
Dean offered a lopsided smile. âTo Hell and back.â
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester x you#dean winchester#supernatural#spn#supernatural series rewrite#spn series rewrite
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EVERYTHING WAS A MISTAKE â i. cheater.
‷ summary: Leaving home isn't hard, coming back to home is, you're determined to find your sister, but Gojo has many things to say to you.
‷ pairing: yandere!satoru gojo x fem!vampire!reader.
‷ warnings: angst, abuse (physical assault), a bit of gore, blood, abusive behavior, it's implied that Gojo has assaulted reader other times in the past, gaslighting, mentions of cheating, mentions of death, psychological violence (Gojo is manipulating the reader into thinking that everything is her fault), spoilers (JJK0).
‷ more information about story: here.
‷ notes: this chapter is a bit hard to read (it was hard to write too), if you are in an abusive relationship or have just come out of one reading it may cause triggers, so please stay safe. đ€ (I forgot to post the chapter yesterday, sorry. đ)
‷ word count: 2867.
Human lives are bubbles floating on the surface of the water, fleeting, but the life of a vampire is perennial, like the Pinus longaeva, which will last for millennia if it is not uprooted. You let go of Satoru's clothes, to whom you were clinging tightly until recently. The words he said to you seem like a bad joke, but the part of you that knows him knows that he wouldn't lie about such a serious matter. A million possibilities run through your head and none of them seem right. Your older sister is the current head of the clan, she succeeded your mother after her death, she is also married to Satoru's older brother and is therefore part of the Gojo clan by marriage, no one in their right mind would harm her, unless they wanted to provoke a war that they would never win.
In the past, after you broke one of the clan's three taboos, your sister came to understand your side of the story, and although you confessed your sins out of your own mouth without showing remorse, she knew you well enough to know that you would never commit a crime of this proportion unless it was truly necessary, you were hot-headed, not a serial killer. However, there was a limit to her influence, your sister had to withdraw from the investigation not long after, the other investigators claimed there was a conflict of interest and personal motivations on her part because you belong to the same lineage, although you knew very well why they wouldn't allow her to investigate, you comforted her by saying it was all a mistake.
You accepted the death sentence so that her and her family's reputation wouldn't be tarnished by her crimes, but when you found out what they would do with your corpse after your death, you had no choice but to run away. You escaped from prison and left everything behind, so you would never see your family again and would forever be an outcast, but you knew that Gabi, your beloved sister, still had hope.
You fall to the ground on your knees, your heart breaks into a million pieces that you may never be able to put back together, the tears flow endlessly, but you don't make a sound. Your sister once told you: "One day, I will die, and you will be the last member of our family. And when that day comes, you'll miss me so bad when I'm gone, Y/N!" She said it laughing, you didn't care because she was the head of the clan, and just like your mother, she would die of old age with three children or more, but now those words blowing in the wind have taken on a new meaning, as if she knew deep down that it would happen. You put your hand on your chest and lean forward until your face touches the carpet, you open your mouth to scream, there's no strength left in you to do so, only a bitter taste of defeat in your mouth.
Satoru gets down on his knees in front of you and hugs you, you don't pull back because it's the only comfort you can have right now, you cling to him like you're clinging to your last thread of hope, you allow yourself to cry because it's the only thing you can do right now. He's never seen you react like this, you never cry, you didn't shed a single tear at your own mother's funeral, you were like a beacon in the middle of a stormy night, strong and resilient, no one has ever been able to shake you, so seeing you so vulnerable makes him feel he needs to protect you. He lifts your face with both hands and wipes the snot off with the sleeve of his shirt, you're a wreck, but you muster the strength to get up. Now with a clear head, you know you have to solve this problem, no matter what.
"I'm going to kill them all." You mutter, the glow you're carrying fades and gives way to a gloomy aura, you turn away from Satoru, you're planning how to kill these people, there are too many of them and only one of you, but you've been in a similar situation before, so you think it won't be a big problem. "Thanks for warning me, but I don't want you to meddle this time, it's a matter of fa-"
Satoru suddenly interrupts you. You don't have time to associate what happened right away, it was so fast, only then do you realize that he's hit you, you touch your cheek and it's hot and tingling, your ear is ringing as if a bell is inside your head, and it feels like one of your eyes has popped out of your skull because you're not seeing well. You're so bewildered that he has to hold you so that you don't fall to the ground again.
"I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but stop. Now." He gently grabs your face and presses down on your right eye with his thumb in order to put it back in place, and you stand there as if you were a doll being carefully repaired. "You're a hothead, aren't you? God! Are you thinking of killing someone else? I hope not, I don't want to have to do it again." He scolds you, he doesn't like the idea of having to hit you, but you always cross the line, it's so annoying. "If you make a single slip-up, everyone's efforts will be for nothing, your sister's life is at stake and we still don't know the intentions behind the kidnapping, so. Stop. Acting. Impulsively." He spoke slowly and nodded, waiting for you to agree. "Answer me."
"But-"
"Answer." Somehow his aura seemed to pressure you, it's always like this, he says he doesn't want to hit you, but if you keep doing things the way you want, he'll hit you again and again until you stop, you shrug and he sighs. "Y/N... answer me, I won't do it again, so be a good girl and say you won't do anything."
"I won't act on impulse, I promise."
"Yes, yes. I knew you were still a good girl." His tone of voice has changed, the pressure on his shoulders is also gone, he pushes back a lock of hair and kisses your forehead, it's almost as if he's someone else. "I'd love to spend some time with you here, but we have to go now."
"Now?" You hear a pop, Gloria and the children are still waiting for you, you can't leave without saying goodbye, you look around the room for the bread basket and find it completely ruined, you let out a breath of air through your nose. "I couldn't go and see any of you anyway."
"Who are you talking about?" Satoru grabs you from behind and buries his face in your neck, you're tense and stiff, it would be bad if he found out about Gloria, he's not the kind of person who tolerates jealousy. But fortunately he doesn't seem to know, he sees the basket of bread on the floor and remembers the children you greeted earlier. "I didn't know you liked children so much."
"Oh, yes, of course?! So you were stalking me at that time too?" He replies with a 'mhmm', you roll your eyes. "You're awful." You let out a dry, mirthless laugh. "Oh, I never had a chance, did I?"
"I'm glad you know your place." He's so overbearing and arrogant, yet if you had only half the power he has, you'd act like it too. "I'll help the children later if you behave yourself on the journey back."
"Really?" Your shoulders relax, you lean in to look at him, he nods in agreement and you're relieved, but everything has a price...
"But you'll owe me one." He whispers unassumingly. "Two, actually." He holds up two fingers, you choke. "Or have you forgotten that I'm going to have to take you in secret?"
"I thought you were going to give me up! I even thought I would need Suguru's help."
"Of course not!" He shouts, irritated, an icy chill shakes your body, you lower your head and he continues shouting. "What kind of monster do you think I am? I would never hurt you, Y/N. I... I... forget it." He pushes you away and massages his temples, then stops abruptly and runs his hand over his face as if he's just remembered something. "Oh, one more thing, Suguru is dead."
"WHAT?"
"I killed Suguru, he committed some crimes, but nothing compares to the fact that he hid you from me." Satoru lets out an infamous chuckle, you can't believe what he's just told you, but given the circumstances, you know he's not lying, the only person who knew your whereabouts was Suguru. "You remember when you abandoned me, don't you? Didn't you think about me? How I might feel?"
"You weren't the only one I left behind, and-" You start to speak, but he signals you to shut up and stop making excuses he doesn't want to hear.
"But as far as I know you haven't abandoned Suguru, have you?" You feel the air get heavy and Satoru's shadow covers you, he seems much bigger than you or you're feeling too small, you don't know, you go back and grope the tree, there's nowhere to run, you close your eyes and wait, maybe for the next slap or something worse. "He told me everything before he died... so we have a lot to talk about, Y/N."
Mistrust is like a deadly poison that eats away at you from the inside, it makes love grow cold, but it also gives birth to a weed called resentment. There's no fixing something that's been broken, when you put the pieces back together, the cracks and scars of the breakage will be there forever, it will break again if you fill it with water. There is no way to mend the heart of someone who has already been betrayed or abandoned.
Satoru look at you with a fake smile, the corners of his mouth are twitching, a bad sign, there's no escape for a change, there's only the two of you on this deserted house, even if there was someone here no one would come to save you, there's no place you can use to hide, but there's no way and no reason to hide when the Six Eyes are looking for you. You open your mouth, but give and accept that there is no other option but to stay quiet, he seems satisfied with your decision, the smile on his face widens.
"Satoru..."
"You cheated on me." He repeats with tears in his eyes.
"WAIT, WHAT? I never cheated on you." You choke, you don't know if he's making it up or Suguru said something that made him get it all wrong. "I don't think this is the time or the moment to talk about it."
"But I do." He retorts. "You disappeared for ten years, Y/N. DAMNED. TEN. YEARS!" He puts a lot of emphasis on that. "You didn't try to contact me during that time, you didn't even make an effort to make me try to understand your side, but..." He paused dramatically. "There was enough space for Suguru to continue in your life. Do you know how painful it was to find out from him that you'd been in contact and seeing each other for all those years?" He frowns and laughs like a maniac. "What about me, Y/N? I was alone in the dark for ten years. I had no news of you, I didn't know where you were, how you were or if you were even alive, but he knew because he told me before he died." He scratches the back of his neck and bites his lower lip. "You didn't even bother to break up with me."
"You turned your back on me first! You spent weeks ignoring me before everything happened and-"
"Because YOU were hiding things from ME!" He shouts and points at you accusingly. "I never knew your side because you didn't trust me enough to open up to me, your own boyfriend." He uses both hands to point at himself, the veins in his neck and forehead bulging, he's furious. "But Suguru knew, because you told him everything, didn't you? You even asked for help to escape."
You choke, you don't know if Suguru revealed all the details to him, but your mind goes blank like a blank canvas for lack of arguments, you can't retort, because what he's saying is the truth, at no point did you consider the possibility of trying to contact him, you didn't explain why you killed all those people in the first place, you just accepted the fact that he hated you and decided to walk away without saying a word. Who told you he hated you? Did he really think you were a monster? The fine line between what was true and what wasn't was so thin that you couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"I forgave you for killing those people and for running away, but this..." He points at you and for a portrait of you and Suguru on the bedside table, then makes a cutting sign with his hands, shaking his head frantically. "I'll never forgive that. Never."
"I'm sorry."
"It's too late to say you're sorry." Satoru reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black blindfold. "You never really loved me, did you? You loved him, I was just... an idiot. That's the truth. I was just a substitute for him."
You see the tears streaming down his face, he brushes them away with the back of his hand as if he doesn't want you to see him cry, you feel your stomach lurch, you don't have the courage to approach him, it's bad enough to know that everything that happened in the past was a big misunderstanding, to be abandoned and in a way betrayed, you can't measure his pain. And although you have your share of the blame for his suffering, he has to understand that you were on the run, many came after you to kill you, familiar faces, you have a lot of traumas to carry, and you don't want or need to carry the weight of this ill-fated relationship, but you can't help it.
"I expected a little loyalty from you. But you're one of them." Satoru refers to the fame of vampires and their multiple partners, but you're not like the others, you really only loved him, but he's so blinded by hatred that he can't see. You love him so much that you trusted him with your life. "You... you cheating bitch, I did everything for you, I... I even tried to forgive you for it, but then you started thinking about going after him? HAHAHA, I'm really stupid."
"I'm not a cheater. I've NEVER cheated on you." A lump forms in your throat, you can barely defend yourself against these unfounded accusations, based on jealousy and paranoia, you sniffle and wipe away tears that wanted to escape from your eyes. "I swear, I never did that, I-" 'love you' You continue the sentence mentally.
You endured everything in silence for fear of sharing the burden with someone else, because you are afraid to lose everyone, but you also believe that if you had been honest from the beginning, he would have understood you, and maybe your sister wouldn't have had to go through what you're going through now, but now it's too late to be honest.
"You just used me and are still using me for your own gain, you just want to ensure your sister's safety and leave. Like everyone else... I'm just a tool for you."
"That's not true, stop it."
The truth hurts, and he's telling the truth, from the beginning you thought of him as a tool to find your sister, but not everything is true, you also want to spend time with him, since finding him again has ignited something inside you, but you don't have the strength to go against him. You take a step forward and he moves away, you reach out to touch him and he rejects you, it's so painful that you'd rather he hit you, you grab his hand and he's so cold, so distant, as if an abyss were separating you. You open your mouth to beg for forgiveness once again, but you feel a stinging pain in your head and heart, a buzzing in your ears makes you dizzy and makes you scream hysterically, your nose and ears began to bleed non-stop.
"Y/N?" Satoru's voice becomes distant and his image blurs. "Y/N?! Are you all right?"
"I... I... I feel... so... sorry... I... will... tell you... everything..." Your vision suddenly darkens.
The last thing you hear is Satoru's voice shouting your name.
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#yandere jjk#jjk gojo#yandere gojo x reader#satoru x you#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere x reader#yandere satoru x reader#yandere satoru gojo#yandere satoru gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader
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I'M QUITTING + MY VOID STATE SUCCESS STORY
Hello guys, it's been a long time since i have posted something or in general be active here which was mostly because of personal reasons (just focusing on myself), although one of them had to do with our community.
I personally joined loatumblr at the middle of 2022 (from a previous anonymous account i had) but i started posting much later. Back then, the community was at it's peak ngl. The bloggers and the way they explained stuff was honestly, at least for me, so helpful and enjoyable. After the end of 2023 - beginning of 2024 this community started dying. I really didn't like this since I loved scrolling through specific blogs and reading their posts. I tried to post some stuff to give a little bit of life in there and i guess it did help a little.
Quick note; Please don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that the current posts and blogs running right now suck.. what i'm saying is that this community used to be way more alive back then.
One of the reasons why this happened is because people applied and got what they wanted. So they logged off tumblr. When I realised that, I decided to seriously focus on loa and start applying myself. And i ended up manifesting some good stuff, and I was good with it. Although, after some time, i decided that i wanted to manifest a completely new life from scratch, which it was what i wanted to do from the first time i joined tumblr but i ditched that thought and ended up changing some stuff about my current life.
My goal back then was to enter the void state (which im pretty sure it was 95% of the people in here goal too), but i didn't understand it properly so i couldn't 'enter'. I ended up ditching it and manifested without it. But after some point, i did my research and fully understood the void state or better, pure consciousness. If you go through my blog, you won't see much stuff about pure consciousness because i choose to not talk about it in here. The way it is treated it loatumblr just pisses me off. If you post a void success story, people will immediately run to you and ask you basic stuff like 'how did u do it?' when all the information needed about it is already posted. People tend to see it as something 'huge' and believe they can't succeed in it which is bs. If you do a little bit of research on pure consciousness you will understand how simple it is. Although, even if the 'void state' is seem like something that people overcomplete this doesn't mean that you can not use it. What i'm saying is that there are some people who really dislike the concept of it and will recommend u not to try it. Look, everyone has their different opinions and beliefs but if you want to manifest your dream life in the void state, go ahead. After all, it found you for a reason.
So coming back to my experience, since it was always my 'dream' to manifest my dream life in the void state, i decided to do it now. I'm pretty good at lucid dreaming (i've been lucid dreaming 3 years now) i decided to tap into my pure consciousness during a lucid dream. So i did my usual routine, had a lucid dream in which i closed my eyes and found myself floating in a void. I affirmed that i have lucid dreams everynight and then i got out. I did this 4 days ago, and i have had around 3-4 lucid dreams every single night, without doing any practise at all. Also, i have been scripting my entire dream life and i'm preparing myself to finally experience it. I have decided to make a looottt of big changes but two of them are the 'biggest' for me; numb.1 i will manifest that i will completely forget about my current life (i will also not remember anything about the law, for personal reasons) and numb.2 i will go back in time around 30 years ago (again for personal reasons). I mentioned this to make it clear to you that i won't be able to post my 'success story' after manifesting it, since i will not remember anything about me manifesting stuff and also even if i did, i wouldn't be able to post it since i will not have access to tumblr or current technology in general. So my success story is this one. This days, when i find the right time for me, i will have a lucid dream as usual and tap into my pure consciousness again which from there, i will finally manifest the life of my dreams. So that's my final post you will see from me. I hope you all never give up and get what you want because trust me it's worth it and all this found u for a reason. If you really want it and you stay consistent, then it's all yours. My words can not describe the way i feel right now, knowing that i have my dream life right in front of me and i can just grab it and give it to myself anytime, after this big journey. Goodbye everyone :)
#success story#void success#loa success#goodbye#loa#law of assumption#loassumption#assume and persist#void state#manifestation#manifesting
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I do indeed have much I can say on all of this! I donât have time for a full breakdown, but letâs hit some key points.
đȘThe Milton evacuation and changing the direction highways.
This is called âcontraflowâ and it is indeed a thing that is frequently used in evacuations. However, from what I understand, Florida might have laws against this? At least thatâs what Iâve heard, or maybe just laws that do indeed make it very difficult. I havenât had a chance to look into it too closely. And it is a tricky thing to do safely just off the cuff without a known procedure in place, which you wouldnât have if itâs against the law in your area. Youâve gotta shut down all the exits/entrances accordingly so you donât have issues with head-on traffic, youâve gotta make sure you have effective alternate routes for emergency traffic, youâve gotta have a space to reintegrate traffic into the proper lanes once the contraflow segment has ended, etc. etc.
Youâre right that this isnât a police problem, itâs a LAW problem. Maybe also a police problem in the sense of what trainings are available to them, what procedures they have in these situations, etc., but not an ACAB style police problem. Plenty of places DO use it, like I said. (Also, sometimes youâll get spontaneous contraflow, where people just start doing on their own, but thatâs a whole different can of worms.)
đ Over dependence on cars.
America is indeed super car dependent, but thatâs not exactly the issue here, at least not in the way youâd think. First off, evacuations are just HARD. Thatâs a lot of people to move. Even if you took every large transport vehicle in a given area (so all the buses of any sort, any trains, any planes), youâre not going to get the entire population moved out in a timely manner, even if every seat is taken. It just isnât feasible for so many reasons. People DO need to be able to evacuate via car. Itâs also very dependent on the disaster in question. An evacuation for a hurricane is very different than most other evacuations due to the amount of time you, usually, have.
Now, one thing that happens and causes problems during evacuations is that people take ALL their cars instead of just one. Mom takes one car with the kids and as much stuff as possible stuffed in the back, and Dad takes his truck with the dogs and the bed piled high. A lot of evacuation planning doesnât account for this. They see a four person family and think, âah yes, the family sedan has six seats, theyâll just take that and go, we donât need to plan for them to put both their cars on the road and at all the gas stations along the way.â But then they do take both cars, and so does every other family on the road, and suddenly youâve got a shit ton more cars doing something that you expected a lot less cars to be doing. I have a lot more thoughts on this I can share later, if people are interested, but for now we shall move on.
(Thereâs also definitely an element of poor city planning and infrastructure in some places, but thatâs very much a case by case thing.)
đ©đ»âđ We need a better emergency management system.
Yes! Though, actually, we already have a pretty good one as compared to other countries. Not great, by any means, but something like FEMA is pretty rare. Most countries just kind of ad hoc disaster response on a case by case basis, which is also what we did until we created FEMA in the 70s.
I have A LOT of thoughts about how we could improve the system as it currently stands, which is a big part of why I want to do a PhD in emergency management.
đ„ When to evacuate.
You mentioned this in relation to the Camp Fire, and that one isâŠyeah, that one was so bad. Thereâs a lot that goes into making evacuation decisions, and unfortunately studies have shown that a lot of emergency officials still believe the myth that people will panic if you give them too much information about a disaster. This leads to delays in evacuations, among other things. Also, evacuations are expensive, and that makes officials hold back. Plus, thereâs the âcried wolfâ effect where if it turns out the evacuation WASNâT needed, the next time it IS needed, people will be less likely to go, which again makes officials hold back.
With the Camp Fire, though, I donât know if any of that specifically was what was at play. That thing just moved FAST. Also, this was a small mountain town. There were not a lot of ways out, just thin mountain roads. I guarantee those officials who made the evacuation call hesitated because they knew people WOULD get stuck on the few potential roads to safety. They werenât making a choice about evacuation, they were making a choice on where they wanted people to be when the fire DID hit. Because it was going to hit. So do they concentrate people all in one spot, on a road that itself wonât burn but will be completely surrounded, or do they keep people spaced out all over town hoping that pockets of it might be safe? And they had to make that decision at the drop of a hat, knowing people were likely to die either way.
Fires are, in my opinion, the most terrifying thing to have to manage an evacuation for. They are both incredibly quick, but also potentially long lasting. They can shift direction at a momentâs notice. They can do things you never knew they could do. They can consume absolutely massive areas. They can die down and pop back up when you least expect it. And to be the person making the decision on how to handle that must be a very, very heavy weight.
đđ» People in positions of power just waving their hands.
Some do, some donât. There are so, so many amazing people out there who care about this stuff and are doing their best to address these issues. But they need support. Taking over the department of transportation isnât the answer, your local emergency management department is. Check out what their emergency plans look like, they should be on your county and state websites. Read through them, find the holes, go to meetings, contact your representatives. Be a nuisance to Congress RIGHT NOW.
đ Disaster education
Lastly, to @kyranekoâs point about needing better disaster education, yes! Yes we do! I think one of FEMAâs weakest points is its lack of addressing and helping individuals directly prior to a disaster, rather than in large groups. Iâm working on it. Got a big project in the works that will, hopefully, start addressing this issue. And thatâs not including the PhD.
SoooooooâŠ.yeah! :D That ended up a lot longer than I thought, lol. Hope some of it was interesting to those of you who have made it to the end.
So I have a friend from high school who is a cop. (Yes, I KNOW.) I shared a photo on Facebook of a packed highway of people attempting to evacuate from Hurricane Milton, all while the lanes going in the opposite direction were open and empty. And my Facebook post was basically me screaming, âOpen the other side of the highway and reverse it so that people can GET OUT.â
His response was essentially, âYeah, that is *really* difficult for us to do.â Not in a condescending way, because he genuinely isnât a huge asshole. (Yes, I KNOW.)
And then I may have vented in my response, in which I tried not to imply that the police were a problem. Because to be honest, I donât see this as a police problem. I see this as how we have fucked ourselves as a nation by making ourselves so dependent on cars.
There is that poll on this site â or multiple polls, at this point â asking how long people can tolerate being in their cars. And the thing is, Americans (and Canadians as well, I am imagining) have almost no other options. We have to be used to spending a good 12 hours in a car without breaking a sweat. Everything in this country is built around being in a car. Thereâs a reason when you ask us how far away a place is from somewhere else, we normally give that distance in hours and not miles.
Air travel sucks. It sucks for a multitude of reasons â cost, the hassle of dealing with security, the time suck, etc. â and in an emergency, only a select few are going to be able to use it to get away from a hurricane. And thatâs one of the few disasters where air travel is an optional escape.
Train travel sucks. Amtrak is not something youâre gonna be complaining about if youâre trying to get away from whatever disaster you need to evacuate from. But next to so many other countries, Amtrak looks like weâve been receiving other countriesâs leftover railway systems from the 70s. It also doesnât go everywhere. I live in northeastern Pennsylvania near Scranton, which prides itself on its history in the train industry. We have a museum and everything. We have multiple things named after that museum, including the Steamtown marathon which is happening tomorrow.
Can you get on a passenger train in Scranton? Nope.
(The main argument against this always seems to be that people will come here from New York City and commit crimes, which is hilarious considering if somebody wanted to come here from New York City and commit crimes itâs only a 2.5-hour drive.)
Anyway, disasters.
If the only option youâre gonna give most people to get out of areas of Florida that are being targeted by hurricanes or areas of California that suffer from wildfires or places in the Midwest that face flooding are cars, then we need a better fucking emergency management system regarding transportation in this country. You canât just sit there and mock people for not evacuating because they canât or wonât when getting away from Milton meant sitting on highway for hours with absolutely no gas stations whatsoever nearby having any gas at all. (It just makes me think of those photos of people stranded on the highway in their cars in blizzards where people are like, âNow imagine imagine how bad it would be if all of those cars were electric!â Well, all of those cars in that photo in that blizzard run on gas and theyâre fucking stranded, sooooooo.)
Look, we can change the transportation system in this country. we did it before and we can do it again. We used to have more train options, fewer highways. My small hometown had a fucking trolley in the 40s. Now, if you donât have a car here, youâre stuck. You canât even get Uber here. if a wildfire started here and surrounded the town, it would be a clusterfuck.
Regardless of how you feel about the police, if police and fire departments in this country cannot organize an evacuation on a highway in a way that will reduce the backup so that tens of thousands of people arenât sitting in their cars when a hurricane hits, thatâs a problem â not just for those people, but for the police, and the fire department, and emergency management in general.
The people in charge of emergency management are just people, just human. Iâm researching the Camp Fire in 2018 right now, and you had a bunch of people calling 911 saying, âI can see a huge fire off to the east. Are we safe? Should we evacuate?â The 911 operators could only work off the information they had. They could have told people to evacuate earlier, but Cal Fire didnât anticipate the strength of the fire. Which is understandable. Nobody could anticipate the strength of that fire. But the 911 operators were sitting in an office with no windows, and they had no idea what was going on the east. They couldnât look out and see exactly what was happening. If they could have, they probably would have told people to leave as soon as possible much sooner than they were told to. Instead, they waited for official confirmation, and when they did start telling people to evacuate, traffic managed to back up in a small town of 25,000 people until many of them were trapped in an unimaginable hellscape.
When people need to evacuate from a disaster, and they stay instead, far too many people - including those in positions of power â just kind of wave their hands and say, âWell, we tried.â No, we didnât. This country made not trying its watchword, and now weâre at a point where unless you own a car, which is a luxury a lot of people cannot afford in this economy, escaping from disaster is impossible. So you can get in your car or somebody elseâs car and go sit on a highway and hope your gas doesnât run out, since none of the gas stations for 100 miles have any gas to give you, or you can stay in your house and hope you donât die.
Sometimes, I really wish somebody would make me the head of the department of transportation. I would demand an absurd amount of money to build a better train system, to provide better transportation options for smaller towns, to provide extensive training for rescue personnel in managing evacuations like the clusterfuck in Florida this week. I would become an absolute fucking nuisance to Congress. I would be asking for money left and right to make it so that our only options as Americans werenât to get into cars we can barely afford these days and attempt to organize our own evacuations from the growing number of natural disasters in this country.
Yâall keep posting these polls about how long you can tolerate being in a car at the same time that tens of thousands of Floridians were sitting on highways trying to get away from Tampa so they wouldnât die in a hurricane.
We can tolerate being in a car all goddamn day. Itâs because we donât have a fucking choice, even when itâs life or death.ïżŒ
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Danny's Daycare Part 19
Masterlist Shortly after Danny and the boys had left everyone gathered in the cave. Those who hadnât known about the Phantom/Danny situation were filled in so they could discuss what theyâd learned that night as well as summon Phantom to tell him what theyâd found. Dick was listening intently. Despite reading the files shortly before their company arrived, Dick wanted to be sure he had all the facts.
âSo,â Steph frowned. âWeâve got a ghost king whoâs claiming a branch of the American government called the GIW has been trying to experiment on and kill his people, a law called the Anti-Ecto-Acts which means itâs legal for them to do said experimenting and killing, and Danny who supposedly knows the ghost king and is affected by the law that makes him legal property of the government?â
Bruce nodded. âWe are still trying to understand Dannyâs connection to all of this and how it is that heâs affected by this law- as far as we can tell heâs entirely human. We arenât sure how he would have come into contact with enough ectoplasm to deem him a âghostâ but-â
Jason cleared his throat, effectively cutting Bruce off and silencing everyone in the cave. âI⊠may have left out⊠some details.â
âOh no,â Tim cuts in. âTell me you didnât know.â
âKnow what?â Bruce sighed, already clearly tired of this back and forth.
Tim crossed his arms and glared at Jason. âThat Dannyâs died before?â
That set everyone off. Dick himself didnât know what to do with that information. Heâd watched all night as Jason smiled at Danny, thinking no one would notice, and then heâd watched as Jason scolded the family for prying (he was right to do that they could obviously see Danny didnât want to answer their questions) and chased after Danny when Santiago had dragged him off. Theyâd spent a lot of time outside before coming back in and everybody could tell something had changed.Â
They were both more relaxed, stood slightly closer together, their eyes lingered on each other when they thought no one was looking, and Jason was actually laughing along with the family! It had been a long time since heâd seen little wing so happy and he wasnât ashamed to admit; heâd gotten emotional about it. He didnât want to think anything was up with Danny, he wanted to imagine Danny had a nice normal life, a good family, and a personality that would bring some happiness and normality to Jasonâs life.
âWhat do you mean, Tim?â Bruce asked, cutting through all the other raised voices.
Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. âWhen Kon came over he- well he wanted to see if Danny was hiding anything on his person. Iâd filled him in a bit about the situation and heâs heard me trying to figure out what Dannyâs deal is for a while now so he used a bit of X-ray vision and thatâs why he dropped the pie. âCause Dannyâs got an autopsy scar.â
The cave was silent, everyone thatâd been looking at Tim promptly looked towards Jason, waiting for an explanation. Jason swallowed visibly. âI⊠didnât know that.â
âThat he died or that he had an autopsy scar? âCause it sounds like heâs got a lot more scars than that, Kon was⊠Kon said heâs only seen scarring that bad on people like us- vigilantes.â Tim pointed out.
Jason sighed, sitting a ways away from the family- a habit heâd picked up after coming back and needed to physically distance himself from them when he got overwhelmed. Dick had always hated how far his brother kept himself from them, tucking himself away behind an immovable wall, keeping his real feelings and thoughts blocked off, for his and their protection.
But instead of remaining apart, staying at the table heâd first sat at- that theyâd all avoided in order to give him space- Jason stood and moved closer, closing the circle the family had formed. âIâm friends with Danny in and out of the mask.â He started, crossing his arms to protect himself from the closeness. âHeâs told Jason some things and heâs told Hood some things and IâŠ. didnât feel right telling you all of it.â
âWe need to know everything you know about him Jay-â
âNo. You donât.â Jason says firmly. âI will tell you what Iâm comfortable telling you and then we can summon Phantom. Maybe he will tell you more, maybe he wonât. Maybe if you show up at his apartment in your tall, dark, and gloomy costume heâll tell you what you want to know- but Iâm not telling you everything he told me in confidence just to satisfy your curiosity. Didnât you learn anything from dinner tonight?â
And- yeah, that was fair. They hadnât been as nice to Danny as they should have, and while it was obvious in hindsight that theyâd backed him into a corner, Dick really had just wanted to get to know the man. Danny was an enigma. Someone whoâd befriended Damian, whoâd brought down Jayâs walls, whoâd expressed interest in Tim and his life, Danny was a good guy. Dick wanted to know everything he could about that man.
Bruce sighed, relenting, and Jason started talking. âI donât know about the scarring. I do know he⊠died a long time ago.â The room tensed, Dick tensed. âHe came back different- like me. But not- not like me. He was confused when I asked about Pit rage stuff. After coming back he did the whole teenage vigilante for a while to protect his town. He gave that stuff up a while back, traveled for a while, and ended up in Gotham.â
âDo you know who asked him to come here?â Tim interjected, getting the room's attention. âHe said he was here as a favor. He said a friend asked him to come to Gotham and help out and thatâs why heâs here. Do you think it was Phantom?â
Jason shrugged. âPhantom said they knew each other, heâs the ghost king and Danny was an undead kid vigilante who fought ghosts to protect his town. Itâs possible I guess.âÂ
Tim had returned to the batcomputer, typing quickly and looking for something specific. Dick noticed Jasonâs hand was shaking, clinging to his bicep in an effort to stop it and keep people from noticing, but Dick saw it. He was no Bruce- certainly no Tim- but he was a good ass detective and he noticed a lot more than some people thought. Especially when it came to the emotional state of his family members.
(Call it being an empath, call it a trauma response to Bruceâs emotional constipation his whole life, whatever, Dick could read emotions in others almost as well as Cass could read body language. He couldnât always interpret exactly what it meant, but he noticed the little things. Jasonâs hands shake heâs angry- usually when heâs pit ragey.)
Clapping his hands together, Dick tried to bring the mood up a bit. âWell, should we all change and get ready to summon Phantom? Where better to get our answers than directly from the horseâs mouth?â
âAnd then he asked Jason on a date!â Santiago finished.
âCome onnnnn.â Miguel groaned, smacking his head against the headrest dramatically.Â
Danny wasnât sure why Miguel seemed so upset by this news or why Santiago was so happy about it but he tried not to think about it too much as he pulled the car onto their street and felt a pulling in his gut.
âI donât know what you see in him, Danny-â Danny felt Miguelâs eyes on him as he cut off. âWhatâs wrong?â
Concentrating on staying where he was and getting the boys home safely, Danny began to sweat. He could refuse the summoning if he wanted, push it away entirely and get rid of the sickening tug, but he really needed to figure out what Hood had gotten done concerning the GIW. So instead of outright refusing, he delayed, speeding up the car. ââM getting summoned.â He managed, turning another corner sharply.
âNow?!â Santi shrieked as the car took one more sharp turn into their parking lot and came to a sudden halt.
Shutting off the car and hopping out, Danny gestured for them to follow. âCome on, quickly.â The tugging in his gut was starting to hurt and he wondered why he hadnât just given Hood his Phantom number the last time theyâd spoken. Tucker made you a Phantom phone specifically for this purpose!Â
Once heâd ensured the boys were in their apartment safely, he allowed his transformation and the summoning to sweep over him. Relief washed over him as he felt his body be swept away before settling into a dark cave. Looking around, he found computers, weapons, vigilante gear- was he in the Batman lair?
âItâs called the Batcave.â Hood snorted. âHey Spooks, mind turning down the light show?â
Oh, right. Letting the bright light that appeared every summoning, Danny floated closer to the ground and took note of all the vigilantes around him. He hadnât exactly expected⊠well, all of Gothamâs vigilantes to be there during his next summoning. âAnything for you, Hood.â He winked towards the crime lord, earning him a scoff from Robin.Â
âKing Phantom-â
âJust Phantom.â Danny cut Batman off- Ancients he interrupted Batman. âIâm not really into the whole formality thing.â
Batman dipped his head subtly. âPhantom, Hood informed us of your situation and to say I was shocked was an understatement. I have a meeting with the Justice League scheduled for tomorrow to relay everything we know and figure out a plan to repeal the Anti-Ecto-Acts as quickly as possible.â
Danny nodded slowly. âI must admit, Iâm surprised at how quickly youâve acted. Nevertheless, I and my people extend our gratitude.â
âWhy wouldnât we act quickly?â Nightwing asked.
Pursing his lips, Danny crossed his arms. âBatman is paranoid, untrusting, and hates metas in his city unless theyâre Signal.â He pointed at the yellow hero lazily. âAnd technically? Ghosts arenât even metas, weâre other. Different. Wrong. Wasnât sure how youâd all feel about that.â
âBatman would never allow such crimes to continue!â Robin snarled.
Dannyâs lips quirked up, he liked Robin, despite the kid's snark. It was part of the appeal really, he had strong opinions and wasnât afraid to share them. Heâd quite enjoyed sassing his rogues throughout his vigilante career.
âRobin.â Batman scolded.
Shrugging, Danny leaned back, still floating, hands behind his head. âI donât mind, I like a kid who speaks his mind. But how would I know that? Iâve never met Batman before. I must do whatâs best for my people.â He frowned, losing a bit of the lazy look and growing more serious. âKeeping them confined to the Realms is no longer the best course of action. And unfortunately, Scarecrowâs little stunt the other night has lit a fire under my ass so to speak.â
âLanguage.â A couple of the vigilantes chimed in, almost like it was a habit.
Danny frowned. Hadnât he just heard that-
âWhy has Scarecrowâs attack moved things up?â Spoiler asked.
How much did he want to tell these people? For now, he wanted his identity to remain a secret, too risky to reveal himself, but he wanted the GIW gone and for that heâd need to be as honest as possible. âDanny Nightingale,â he started, catching the shift in the caveâs atmosphere. âIs a⊠personal friend of mine. Heâs been in hiding from the GIW for five years now. The attack has unfortunately⊠alerted the GIW and others to his location.â
âWhat reason does Danny Nightingale have for hiding from the GIW?â Batman asked.
Had⊠Had Hood really not told them? He knew Hood was a good guy, but to keep private the things Danny had shared with Hood even after everything that had happened⊠It warmed his cold heart. âHood⊠did not tell you?â
Red Hood crossed his arms.Â
âDanny died when he was fourteen.â Phantom tried for nonchalance. He hated talking about it- all ghosts did- but he didnât want them to know he was uncomfortable. âHe was brought back to life when, during his death, his body was flooded with ectoplasm. His body was killed and brought back until neither side won and he ended up half dead half alive.â He let that sink in.
âHow the fuck-â
âThatâs not poss-â
âNightingale-â
âEnough.â Batman stated. Once everyone quieted down a bit, he turned to Phantom. âHow is that possible?â
Phantom had touched down to the ground at this point, standing between Red Hood and Signal. He shrugged. âI donât really know, it just is. The⊠electricity killed him but the ectoplasm kept him alive and afterward he remained alive and dead at the same time. Schrodingerâs boy if you will.â
âYou know Shcrodinger?â Signal breathed, not really asking Phantom but more himself.
Phantom intended to answer the question, maybe with a joke or maybe just plainly, but he was stopped in his tracks by Red Robinâs next question.
âBut what about his autopsy scars?â Red Robin said seemingly before he could stop himself.
Dannyâs head whipped in his direction. âWhat?â He snarled.
Red Robin glanced at Batman, swallowed, and looked back at Phantom. âUm- a- a friend of mine- superboy, he accidentally used his X-ray vision and he⊠sawâŠâ He trailed off, possibly noticing Phantomâs less than friendly air.Â
Heâd risen again, floating a couple inches off the ground and crossing his arms to hide the shaking in his hands. Maybe if he⊠if he told them⊠theyâd understand just how bad the GIW was. The final nail in the coffin. Heâd met a lot of these vigilantes before, they seemed nice enough, besides, how long did he really think he could hide the truth from them? As long as they didnât know he was Danny, as long as Danny didnât have to look them in the eye and pretend he didnât know they knew, itâd be fine.
âIt is not an autopsy scar.â Phantom managed to say.
Red Robin frowned. âBut he said it was-â
âIt is NOT an autopsy scar.â He said, pressing his eyes shut tight, voice commanding. Waiting for his rage to settle a moment, he continued. âIt is a testament to how far the GIW will go to get what they want.â He looked each vigilante in the eye (sort of), waiting for it to sink in. âAutopsies happen after youâve died. I assure you,â He inhaled sharply. âDanny was very much alive- and awake- when that happened.â
âWhat the fuck.â Red Robin breathed. Phantom waited, unsure of what was about to happen. Red Hood was frozen, his toxic ectoplasm signature flared as his fingers stretched for his guns.
Spoiler gasped. âThatâs fucking-â
âVivisection.â Robin finished coldly.
Everyoneâs reactions were similar; anger, despair, confusion. Batman pinched the bridge of his nose, Robin lowered his katana, jaw dropped slightly, Red Robin was clearly having some kind of inner war, Signal and Spoiler looked between each other and Black Bat who had been staring at Phantom since heâd arrived, and Nightwing- was he crying? It was subtle, barely noticeable, but Danny was sure he heard a sniffle from the manâs direction.
âWhen-â Batman growled, clearing his throat. âWhen did this happen?â
Phantom considered him. Why did it matter? They couldnât go back and make it unhappen. âShortly before his eighteenth birthday.â That was all he needed to say. So why did he find himself continuing? Saying more than necessary? âHe was discovered by some local ghost hunters, drugged, restrained, and experimented on for-â he caught his breath, hesitating only a moment, but Black Bat seemed to catch it. âFor almost two months. The-â
âFUCK!âÂ
The group startled as something shattered across the cave. Startled, Danny turned to Hood whoâd grabbed the nearest thing and thrown it across the room- hitting a glass window around what seemed to be a med bay. The man breathed heavily, his toxic ecto-signature continued to rise.Â
âHood-â Batman started.
Phantom cut him off. âHood. Relax, Dannyâs fine.â He pushed as much Safe-Protected-Healed-Calm-Relax into his words as he could and it seemed to work, the manâs shoulder untensed a bit and his hands stopped resting on his guns. Phantom could feel everyoneâs eyes on him but he didnât want Hood to feel them so he continued. âIâm not going to let anything happen to him, and if you lot do your job right, the GIW wonât be able to try anything ever again.â
It was touching that Hood was angry on Dannyâs behalf, but he didnât need it- not really. He wasnât as naive as heâd been five years ago- wouldnât let anyone close enough to trick him again. Heâd warded the apartment he lived in heavily, no one with ecto-weapons could get inside, heâd warded it against specific people as well- Jack and Maddie, the GIW agents he knew of, Vlad, the list went on.Â
âWho were the ghost hunters?â Red Robin asked, typing on the batcomputer furiously.
Danny wanted to be mad about the question (how dare he ask about them, the people whoâd ruined him, whoâd taken all his trust and cradled it close to their chest with loving smiles only to crush it under their boot and cut into it and-) but it effectively took everyoneâs attention away from Hood, allowing the man to calm down without anyone staring at him. Phantom closed his eyes and took a deep breath before admitting to a truth heâd run from for years. âHis parents.â
~~~~~
Damian was having a good night overall. Heâd invited Nightingale- well, the Nightingaleâs, he supposed, over and got to spend a great deal of time with Miguel and Santiago. Santiago was a bit younger than Damian and they didnât have much in common, but the boy's love of animals allowed them to maintain conversation throughout the night. Todd had been acting strange throughout dinner and in the barn, but Damian had shrugged it off, it was Todd after all. He was fine.
Later in the night Drakeâs paramour was also acting strange but Damian did not care. Heâd enjoyed showing Miguel and Santiago around his home, introducing them to his animals, and talking with them extensively about the concept of vigilantes, heroes, and anti-heroes.Â
When theyâd all been called into the cave and heâd been filled in on the conversation with Nightingale at the dinner table, heâd felt confident that Phantom would be able to answer their questions. Nightingale had an aversion to talking about his past before Gotham, specifically his hometown and his parents, and while Todd made an excellent point about all of them having complicated relationships with parents, it made them all curious about what could have caused Nightingaleâs complicated relationship with his parents.
After all, it was unlikely his parents were assassins, or circus performers whoâd been murdered, or a supervillain, or had sold him out to the Joker who killed him so-
âHis parents.â
Okay so the likelihood that his parents were in fact supervillains and had sold him to someone evil was actually very high. Throughout the entire conversation Damian had felt his blood pressure rising. Nightingale was one of the few respectable people heâd met since moving to Gotham. He was intelligent, kind, good with animals and kids, and respected those around him.
Who in their right mind would hurt Nightingale intentionally? He heard his sentiment echoed around the room as his family processed what exactly Phantom had just admitted. Drakeâs incessant tapping on the keyboard had stopped, his jaw clenched tight in a way that mirrored fatherâs expression. And yet, despite how upset everyone looked- Richardâs expression made him wonder if the man might be crying- Cassandra looked sadder than them all.
Her ability to read body language was one heâd long coveted, but in that moment he wasnât sure he wanted to know what Phantomâs body language was saying.Â
âYou can look, but youâre unlikely to find anything about them.â Phantom continued. âIâve had my best people wipe anything about Dannyâs hometown from the internet. They built his new identity and he is here under my protection.â
âSo you are the friend who asked Danny to come to Gotham and help out?â Brown asked.
Phantom gave a strained smile. âAs a matter of fact, I am not. Danny does whatever he wants, I simply⊠gave him a new identity to do so. Not that I did the hard work, Technus and a friend of Dannyâs did that.â
Damian wanted to know everything about Nightingale. He didnât want to know anything about Nightingale. Two sides of his desire warred inside him. His desire to know everything about everyone at all times fought his side that wanted to believe someone as kind as Nightingale had never suffered such hardships.
He knew that sentiment was childish, he wasnât a child, but why must every kind person he meet go through unimaginable pain?Â
âWe must bring his parents to justice.â Damian gritted out.
Phantom gave him a sad look. âUnfortunately, everything that both his parents and the GIW did, are completely legal. Due to Dannyâs death he both produces and consumes ectoplasm. Until the Anti-Ecto-Acts are repealed and Ectoplasmic beings are protected, nothing can be done.â
âBut once we do, we must bring his parents to justice. Who are they? What are their names?â Damian demanded.
Giving the same sad smile, Phantom shook his head. âUntil the Acts are overturned and protection is given to all ectoplasmic beings I will not be giving out that information.â Damian started to speak but Phantom spoke over him. âI really must be going- I was in the middle of something when you called. If you give me your phone Hood, I can give you my direct line instead of my summoning line.â
Todd, whoâd calmed down from his earlier tantrum, handed his phone over immediately and watched as Phantom typed in his number presumably.
âIf you have more questions, message me.â He directed to Batman, handing Hoodâs phone back. âAnd if you ever need something handsome, call me.â He winked before a swirling green portal opened behind him and he sank back into it as it swallowed him.
Once the portal had disappeared, Damian looked to his father who was deep in thought. Typically the entire family would start talking, petering, asking questions, all at once, but for once, they were all quiet, waiting for Batman to say something.
âI have a meeting with the Justice League tomorrow, we will discuss all of this including what weâve learned tonight. Hood, if you wouldnât mind giving me Phantomâs number so I can invite him to the meeting, I would appreciate it.â Father moved towards the computer where Drake was still working. âI want everything you can find on Daniel Nightingaleâs original identity, where heâs from, his parents, everything.â
âB, Iâve been working on this for months I canât-â
âRed Robin.â Father spoke lowly. âDo what you can. I want tabs kept on Danny Nightingale at all times, we have no way of knowing how fast the GIW will work to get him back. No one goes alone, we patrol in pairs until this is sorted, understood?â
Everyone nodded, albeit somewhat reluctantly. Damian had to agree with their sentiment. He had no desire to be held back from patrolling his own route solo but knew there was no getting around his fatherâs paranoia.Â
âUh- I work alone.â Thomas said, raising his hand uncomfortably.
Batman considered this for a moment. âCheck ins with Oracle every fifteen minutes- no exceptions.âÂ
Thomas sighed, nodding in agreement. âYeah okay.â
âFather, this is ridiculous. Surely the GIW is not such a danger to us?â Damian understood caution, but this was a bit much- bordering on how he behaved when Joker was loose.
âActually-â Todd scratched the back of his head, his helmet held under his arm. âTechnically a lot of us probably fall under the GIW guidelines. I definitely do with the whole âdead then notâ thing, and you and Cass grew up around the pits- itâs pretty likely we all have a bit of an ecto signature or whatever.â
Father grunted. âPatrol in teams. Check ins every fifteen minutes. Do not approach unknownâs alone. Understood?â
âYes, father.â Damian replied emotionlessly.
Heâd find whoever had done this to Nightingale and heâd make them pay for it.
~~~
âMiguel? Santi? Iâm back!â
Danny had portalled back to his apartment, changed into comfier clothes, and made the short trip across the hall to the boysâ apartment. Theyâd given him permission after the incident with their bio dad to walk into the apartment without knocking but he still made sure to announce himself when he did.
Something in the apartment was different though- colder- and dread settled in his stomach when he received no response.
âBoys?â He turned the corner into the living room. âIâm ho-â
âOh hey, Danny, you look young- itâs like looking into a mirror. Ten years ago.â
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When You're Ready
Summary: A portal drops the Chain in the middle of a quarantine zone, where they are required to receive vaccinations in order to proceed. Warriors doesn't want Legend to go ahead until he's mentally prepared.
Warnings: trypanophobic character, needles
Words: 1040
AO3
Please reblog to show your support! Likes do nothing.
Legend didnât take the news well.
When they reached the edge of what turned out to be a quarantine, the guards posted there informed them that they would not be allowed to pass until they were vaccinated against the illness that the portal had already exposed them to. Warriors flinched at Legendâs outburst, at the harsh threats shouted at the bewildered strangers. Before he could step forward, Time was there, a firm hand clasped on the teenâs shoulder.
âLegend,â Time said quietly. âLeave them be. Itâs not their fault.â
Legend froze instantly, shrugging himself free and nervously backing away from the stares of the younger heroes who didnât really understand. Warriors intercepted him, wrapping his scarf around him like a shield.
âWe need time to consider it,â Warriors said. âIs there somewhere we can sit?â
They were led to a small room, sparsely decorated with a few chairs and couches. The rest of the chain were filed, one by one, through a door in the far wall. Warriors spoke privately with Time and Sky, then joined Legend on a couch where he was hugging Four. The elder heroes left, then Four with Twilight, and Warriors and Legend were alone.
Legend stared unseeing at the floor, and Warriors didnât have to touch him to know that he was shaking. Legend reached for his hand, and Warriors took it.
âDo we have to go now?â Legend asked, his voice painfully small.
Warriors squeezed his hand. âNot if youâre not ready.â
Legend shook his head, letting his hair shroud his eyes.
âIf it helps,â Warriors said, âSky offered to learn how. If it would be easier, to have someone you know and trustâŠâ
Like that day in the med tent, Warriors himself an island in a sea of strangers.
Legend thought for a few minutes, and Warriors patiently let him. âY⊠yeah. I donât- if Sky can-â
âHe can,â Warriors gently confirmed.
âDoes⊠does that mean we have to go now?â
âNot until youâre ready.â
They sat for a while longer, and Warriors tried to talk him through some of the breathing exercises they had practiced during calmer moments. Legend grew fidgety, but Warriors thought that was better than shock.
âW-what if we wait here too long? Wonât you get hungry?â Legend asked once, and Warriors was prepared.
âIf I do, Time can sit with you instead. You can take as long as you need to, bud.â
Soon after that, Sky opened the door. Legend nearly jumped out of his skin, pressing against Warriorsâ side, and Sky gave him an apologetic smile.
âSorry. I just wanted to see if you think youâll be ready soonâŠ?â
Warriors expected Legend to shake his head vehemently, and prepared for another long wait. He was surprised, almost unpleasantly so, when Legend glanced at him before speaking.
âY-yeah. Iâm⊠ready.â
He didnât sound ready in the slighest, but Warriors knew that the freedom of consent went both ways. He stood and waited for Legend to follow, pretending to ignore how the teen immediately leaned his full body weight against him.
âCome on then,â Sky said with a kind smile, and Warriors could hear a whine building in Legendâs throat as they walked to the next room.
He squeezed Legendâs hand, a silent question.
Legend squeezed back and didnât stop.
Much like the med tent, the room was rudimentary and simple. Sky showed them to a low cot, probably for ill patients, that could easily fit Legend and Warriors beside each other. Legend knew what to do; he didnât look at the medical tools and he hid his face against Warriorsâ shoulder as soon as they sat down. His hands hesitantly reached out as his voice was muffled in the captainâs scarf.
âWars, can you-â
âYeah, bud,â Warriors breathed, and pulled him into a loose hug. Not tight enough that Legend felt restrained, but close enough that he could find comfort in his warmth. Warriors breathed, slow and steady, and felt Legend mimic him as Sky silently brought the tools closer.
Legend whined as Sky pushed his sleeve up, and Warriors hummed reassuringly. âHeâs just going to clean your arm, Lege, youâre okay.â
Legendâs nails dug into Warriorsâ own arm, but he didnât ask Sky to stop.
âKeep breathing with me,â Warriors said as Sky picked up the syringe. âYouâre doing so well. Deep breath in, deep breath outâŠâ
Legend still didnât react, right up until the needle pierced his arm. His measured exhale was interrupted by a sharp, high scream, and pleas that came too fast for Warriors to respond. âWars- Wars, WARS!â
âHey, hey, hey, itâs okay. Youâre all done,â Warriors said, because he already was. Sky had been fast, and he hid the syringe and bandaged Legendâs arm as Warriors continued his reassurances. âYou did it, Lege, Iâm so proud of you for being brave.â
Legend only sobbed harder, pressing into Warriors like he hoped he could disappear. Warriors rubbed Legendâs back, repeating his soothing words, and looked up when Sky walked to the other side of the room. The knight retrieved a glass of water and brought it over, waiting patiently for a calm in Legendâs crying.
âHere, Legend,â Sky said when the teen pulled away to gasp for breath. âCan you drink this for me?â
Legend let Sky press the glass into his hands, and Warriors held it steady as he drank. Legendâs tears slowed, and he swallowed hard as he lowered the glass from his mouth. He hiccuped, swallowing a few more times before he could speak.
âSssorry⊠I- I wanted to be brave but I wasnâtâŠâ Legend whimpered, and Warriors felt his heart break for the kid he was trying so hard to help.
âYou were brave, Legend. You were so brave,â Warriors said, letting Legend collapse against him once more. âYou found courage because of your fear, not despite of it. You know that better than any of us.â
âThatâs right,â Sky agreed. âNone of us expected this, but you still had the strength to get through it. We donât think less of you for needing a little more time.â
Legend sniffled, his voice small against Warriorsâ chest. âDo we have to go to the others now?â
âNot yet,â Warriors promised. âNot until youâre ready.â
#linked universe#lu#lu legend#lu warriors#lu sky#overcome#fable writes#happy birthday legend! you get... trauma angst... oops#i have fluff planned for him too i swear
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