kiragecko

[kiragecko]

Reblog this if your posts don't have expiration dates.

So that your followers know it’s okay to dig through your blog and send in memes, starters, or responses to opens days, weeks, or months after they’ve been first posted.

[kiragecko]

When I have lost my way

Authour: @teland

Subfandom: Batman

Media: Comics

Relationships: Shippy (Tim Drake/Kon-El, Tim Drake/Bernard Dowd)

Year: 2004

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Minor Underage Sex

Summary:

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Though probably not that desperate.

Submitted by @kiragecko

Submitter's comment:

Jack wants a normal son. Tim tries to comply. Tim chooses the weirdest and least healthy way possible to comply. I adore this version of Tim SO MUCH. I love this brilliant disaster with no understanding of normal logic. This shapeshifter who considers himself to just be another mask. Fascinating! Brilliant!

[kiragecko]

WHY IS THIS GOOD?!

A fic about how good it is to have platonic relationships, even when you’re dating. From the perspective of a dude who is sulking SO HARD because his partner has a friend!

The problem is, I ALSO dislike Eddie Bloomberg! I did not want to like this! How dare it be good!

Eddie Fucking Bloomberg

Authour: chucklesbuckles

Subfandom: Batman, Teen Titans

Media: Comics

Relationships: Shippy (Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Rose Wilson/Eddie Bloomberg, Eddie Bloomberg & Jason Todd)

Year: 2022

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None

Summary:

There was another fucking letter from Eddie fucking Bloomberg, wax seal and all. The mailbox he and Jason shared seemed to always fucking have another fucking letter from Eddie fucking Bloomberg.

Submitted by anon

Submitter's comment:

One of my fav dc fics! Hands down the best Jason&Eddie friendship fic I've ever read, with an excellent Roy pov. Mindbogglingly good characterization!!

[kiragecko]

My Advice To Pretty Much Anyone Who's Anxious About Being Judged: Act Weirder

(Note: an exception is made for judgmental family members, bosses, and other people with authority who have proven unsafe. It's probably better to mask in those cases.)

Benefits of Acting Weirder:

People tend to notice patterns of behaviour. If you only do one thing weird, people will notice and try to figure out the reason. Their guesses are often self-centred. ("They don't like me!") If you have a variety of weird behaviour, people will be able to form relationships between those behaviours, making them less likely to assume that they're the cause.

People like thinking that they KNOW people. Weird behaviours are unique and real and something for people to know. Which makes them feel closer to you!

If your behaviour is all performing, you are always going to be checking how well the performance is going. To learn how to let go of a sense of being judged, you need practice doing things that aren't designed to be judged!

If you CHOOSE to be weird, you have some control of what other people are going to notice. So you can keep their focus on areas where you aren't as sensitive!

Some forms of weirdness have assumed meanings. Large noise cancelling headphones can signal autism, or other sensory processing issues. Extra big smiles and gestures can signal difficulties communicating - mental disabilities, deafness, muteness, etc. Bright, colourful clothes can signal that you're artistic, free spirited, kooky, etc. You're still weird, but people can stick you in a box that they understand, and that makes them far more comfortable.

Being judged is actually fine, if the people doing it have no authority over you, so it's helpful to teach your body that. Let some jerks look at you weird and then continue your day. Slowly, your brain will recognize that it isn't the end of the world. Not everyone's opinions need to matter!

A lot of "weirdness" is actually acting normal? You're just anxious. A lot of the time, people won't even notice. Sometimes they'll compliment you!

Almost everyone else has weird traits as well, and it feels AMAZING to discover someone who does the same niche thing as you! (As long as neither of you are ashamed of that thing. It feels BAD to meet someone whose ashamed of something you do!) Give other people the chance to connect!

If people don't know the real you, them liking you Doesn't Really Count. It feels like you're tricking them. Like they'd hate the real you. That SUCKS.

Sometimes, you'll do something you were terrified of being judged for, and then discover you don't actually like doing that? Like, getting judged for that doesn't matter, because you never want to do it again, so you can stop worrying now? It's freeing!

The people who are looking for perfection, and are going to judge you no matter how hard you try, FREAK OUT! They do NOT know how to react to you acting weirder! Sometimes, they just give up and avoid you. Other times, they're almost scared? It can make you feel powerful!

Some weird things feel so good to do that they can make you stop caring about other people's opinions. They're worth any nasty comment. They're worth the looks. And if those things are worth judgment, maybe other things are too? At least, it's worth trying, right?

Being close friends with everyone on Earth is actually impossible. So you need to choose who is worth the effort. Seeing who can handle a bit of weirdness is a really good way to weed out the jerks!

[kiragecko]

WIP excerpt for LexiOakEn behind the cut; “project sidekick”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“Yeah, little weird, but guess we’re just all officially ride or die for our own clones who we haven’t even met yet now, good to know,” Robin says casually, drumming his fingers on his thighs and then suddenly perking up in his seat and grinning at Superboy, who has no idea how he feels about this conversation at all anymore. “Oh wait, SB, real important question here: does my clone-me understand the value of being whelmed? I really need to know if my clone-me understands the value of being whelmed, that is so important for our future relationship.” 

“Sure, I’m narcissistic enough for that,” Kid Flash agrees–then stops again and groans again, dropping his head back on his neck. “God, though, we’re seriously gonna have to deal with two of you? Like that’s literally what this is, like ‘two of you’ is literally what ‘genetically identical with and’ . . . what’s three months for you, like two percent of your life? 1.923 percent, give or take. So ‘two of you’ is literally what ‘genetically identical with and in possession of 98.187 percent of your memories, give or take’ means, yeah.” 

“I think you’re being very ungrateful about the existence of our newly-gained clone-bros, bro,” Robin replies primly, then grins wide at Kid Flash. “What, you don’t want kept on your toes, Yellow? You wanna get all lazy and complacent in life?” 

“Maybe!” Kid Flash shoots back accusingly, then frowns, tapping his foot in a crackling blur for a moment and looking considering. “I mean I guess I’m never gonna be outnumbered again, I guess I’ve got that.” 

“Just try not to edge me out of BFF status by becoming best friends with yourself, huh?” Robin asks with another snigger. Kid Flash eyes him, then looks considering again. 

“Actually, wow, that actually sounds really convenient, I bet Three-Months-Plus!Me would totally go for–” 

“Oh my god, KF!” Robin says with a cackling laugh, then pauses and looks considering himself. “Hey, think they’ll tutor us on the two months of class we missed if we ask nice? That a thing you think they’d be up for?” 

“I think it’s hilarious that you think Three-Months-Plus!Me would be capable of tutoring anyone, actually,” Kid Flash retorts dubiously, and Robin cackles again, and Ahm muffles a quiet laugh behind his fist. 

And Superboy–he still doesn’t know how he feels right now, and knows it doesn’t matter how he feels about any of this anyway, but . . . 

But he definitely feels some very, very complicated things about all of this.

[kiragecko]

In university I was dealing with frequent panic attacks, insomnia, depression, ADHD, and a certain amount of selective muteness. I'm also faceblind, so I wasn't learning anyone's faces or names. I couldn’t stay late, because I needed 3 hours of silence before I could even THINK of sleeping. Couldn’t always talk, couldn’t make eye contact for more than a few seconds, and sometimes I didn’t even make it through class. And it was affecting how people acted around me.

Things that helped:

Turning my whole body towards people when they greeted me, and giving them my full attention

Using up the tiny bit of eye contact I could handle whenever I smiled, to maximize the effectiveness of both

Smiling and waving at people regularly whenever we were in contexts that made it clear they were classmates

When I couldn't talk, smiling and waving in response to greetings, even when was a bit abnormal to do so. When I couldn't make eye contact or smile, at least providing a little wave.

Rather than just turning down bonding opportunities individually, making it clear that I couldn't do that TYPE of activity, because people will respond more negatively to repeated rejections than to clear boundaries. Ie. "I'm sorry, I don't drink and go to bed REALLY early, so I can't go to the bar with you guys. If you ever go out to eat during the day, though, I'd love to come!"

(This was safe because they rarely went out to eat at lunch. Make sure you choose an alternative that matches the level of effort you're willing to put in!)

Letting people see behind the mask, a little, so that 'not talking' became part of 'Oh, Gecko's just a bit odd', rather than the only weird thing they knew about. Because one weird thing needs to be explained, and "They don't like us" is a tempting explanation. Enough weird things? That's an explanation in itself!

(If 'weird' isn't an attractive explanation, other good ones are 'family/my pets are my highest priority', 'really invested in a specific hobby/activity', or 'REALLY likes quiet'. The last one works best if you're okay with quietly sitting near people.)

Walking with people between classes if we were going the same way

Focusing on things that other people might not bother to. Ie. I made sure to learn proper pronunciations for non-English names, because a lot of people don't, and, anyways, it was easier for me to process-of-elimination match those names to their owners

Done right, all of this took up NO EXTRA TIME. I didn't have to stay late, or go anywhere off campus. It could all be done before and after class, or occasionally over lunch. It took up a bit of social energy, but less than worrying about the weird looks I was getting had. And people were EXCITED the rare times they had a bonding activity I could join in on!

[kiragecko]

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

[kiragecko]

[Image is a tag reading, "if you're in a cabin you're not camping and i will die on this hill".

End ID.]

[kiragecko]

Person-Specific Batfamily Endearments/Insults

These are terms only used BY one person, FOR one person, or both. Because I had to read Jason calling Tim 'Little Wing' in a really good fic, and it hurt me.

Canon Person-Specific Terms:

'Little Wing': ONLY Dick and ONLY to Jason. Probably a way of Nightwing suggesting connection with Jason without referencing complicated familial stuff

'Dickie', 'Dickie-Bird', 'Dickster', etc: Pop Haly at the circus used 'Dickie', but otherwise these are EXCLUSIVELY Jason's terms for Dick. Unless they're showing up in the Titans comics and I don't know about it.

'Pretender': Jason used this multiple times for Tim during the Hush arc (before his official return, while he was pretending to be Clayface pretending to be Jason pretending to be Hush). Also used 'Imposter' once during that period. Hasn't used either since he officially came back (and NEVER used 'Replacement'!)

Canon terms that ARE multiuse:

'Boy Wonder': can be used to refer to any Robin. (Though Steph probably wouldn't appreciate it!) Most often used when talking to Dick, or by Dick when talking to his brothers.

joking variations on 'Boy Wonder' - especially romantic ones like 'Boyfriend Wonder': While these endearments are STRONGLY connected to Babs flirting with Dick, Dick and Steph have also used them for Tim

'Former Boy Wonder', 'Man Wonder', etc: I only have records of Babs using these for Dick, but I'm pretty sure they've been used for other former Robins.

'Kid': Dick LOVES using this! I know it isn't cutesy, but this is the first term he goes for if your name or a joke about your codename aren't going to work. Jason also uses it for Tim and Damian. Commissioner Gordon loves the term. Babs uses it for Jason. Slade uses it for Dick. Always a good choice.

'Friend': Tim has called Jason this multiple times, with sarcasm and derision just DRIPPING off the term. Never read him insulting anyone else with the term, but I can't really say something this general is 'person-specific'!

'Boss Man', 'Big Boss Man', 'Boss', etc: a favourite way to tease Bruce. Dick, Babs, Jason, and Steph have all used these in mocking ways.

'Old Friend': Bruce has probably used this term for other people, but it's usually for Alfred.

'Brother', 'Little Brother', and 'Big Brother': usually between Dick and Tim, but Jason has referred to Dick this way, and Dick has referred to Bruce as his brother.

Non-Canon:

'Demon Brat': Tim has never used it. (Neither has anyone else.) He's never even used an insulting name when talking to Damian! He's used a variety of never-repeating insults when talking ABOUT Damian, but never any plays on 'Demon'.

'Babybird': Haven't found this used for ANYONE. Jason usually uses 'Tim', anyways. He's actually more likely to use Tim's name than he is the name of any other character other than Alfred!

'Babybat': also fanon

'Prettybird': I think Ollie uses this for Dinah? Never seen it with a Bat in canon.

Variants on 'Tim' other than 'Timmy': Dick and Babs have occasionally used 'Timmy', but playing around with his name isn't anyone's main form of indicating affection. I don't think anything in canon suggests people wouldn't do this, they just haven't yet.

-

If anyone else has nicknames/endearments/insults that they're curious about, please ask me! Some of the stuff fanon uses aren't canon, but that's fine. Others are ... quite out of character.

You can also check out my Bat-Sibling Interaction Posts!

[kiragecko]

Most people tend to agree that Ao3 is the go-to fanfiction site nowadays, but some of you really need to remember that older fandoms (and fandoms up through the early 2010's even) have a LOT of content on places like FF.net, Livejournal, Wordpress, etc. Some people even still post there and elsewhere exclusively. Like, you're truly missing out in those cases if you think Ao3 is the end all and be all of fandom content. I was still actively using LJ communities to find and share fics until around 2020.

I've even been reading for an old fandom of mine on FF.net this past week. Y'all don't even know. There are literally FAR more fics there than can be found on Ao3 simply because of when this fandom began.

Ao3 is easier to use and superior in almost every way, but too many people think that all "quality" fic or all fic in general is on Ao3 without considering what was available beforehand. Too many people think all fanfiction on fanfiction.net is bad just because it's on fanfiction.net. They don't even think about the older blogging sites.

I'm just saying. Y'all are missing out by not being open to navigating the fandom archives and spaces that dominated before Ao3 got here.

[kiragecko]

[Image shows the bottom of an escalator, where you need to step off before the step goes under the floor, with the text, "This part so scary."

End ID.]

Fun worldbuilding/learning about others moment:

If you support people with certain types of disabilities, have young kids, or are a caregiver for an elder, this moment might require the WHOLE ESCALATOR RIDE to prepare for! Because you have to:

1. figure out the right time to get off

2. figure out how much your charge is going to be able to do on their own

3. figure out how long it will take them to understand your request

4. figure out how long it will take them to get their body to do what you've requested

5. figure out if they're going to get scared and need repeated encouragements

6. prompt them at the EXACT right time so that their body is ready to move in the 10 second period you can step off

7. step off before that window, in a big awkward step, so you can turn around and support them over the gap

-

I learned to do this at a young age, because my mama had a disabled kid AND a young kid, and it's pretty much impossible to get TWO other people off these things by yourself.

Main take away - it is much, much easier if the person you're helping is small, because you can just lift them off if things go wrong!

[kiragecko]

Bad Company

Authour: @frownyalfred (TheResurrectionist)

Subfandom: Batman

Media: Comics

Relationships: Gen (Jim Gordon & Bruce Wayne)

Year: 2017

Rating: Gen

Warnings: None

Summary:

Jim drinks his coffee black. Until he doesn't.

Submitted by @kiragecko

Submitter's comment:

The Commissioner trains the Batman. Or, two friends get to know each other? Or, Bruce wins Jim over with apology gifts? The precise relationship these guys has is ambiguous, but that doesn't make it any less delightful!

[kiragecko]

The thing I most respect about Everything Everywhere All At Once is that it isn't trying to be for everyone.

This is a movie with an audience in mind. And instead of going for broader appeal, it HEAVILY targets that audience. And, even more impressively, it isn't an audience with a lot of spare enthusiasm to throw around!

Like, this IS a movie about immigration and inter-generational trauma. But, and this is the part I can talk about, it's also about depression. And it's about depression in a laser-focused, not particularly accessible if you haven't felt it, way. It's about the type of depression that sucks away all the passion that goes into fandom. It's looking at the parts of depression that make very little sense from the outside - not to explain them, but to let people feel seen.

It isn't QUITE aimed at me. But it's aimed at a person I can remember being. It's aimed at people around me. And, it's really really cool to look at from my perspective.

I haven't been that type of depressed in 20 years, so I've got enough distance to see some of the strings, the weak spots, and the replacement pieces they used when they couldn't afford the best options. But I'm close enough to recognize that none of those matter. Every time they needed sincerity, it was there. Every time they needed the gaping void, there it was to eat away. Every time it needed to be stupid and pointless, because hope is too costly and it was about to lose it's audience ... yup, Raccaccoonie. Every time it needed to gently coax that little bit of hope out into the open, it had all the time in the world.

Most people are not going to NEED breaks for the void to rehollow them out! Like, that probably doesn't make sense to most people, especially as a HELPFUL thing. Most people don't need this careful tension between stupidity and sincerity. And this movie probably reads pretty weird to those people. Kinda flat.

But every stupid costume and weird metaphor is deliberate! They're necessary! They're all working together to allow people who are incredibly shut down safely FEEL. Safely feel incredibly important feelings.

So yeah. I respect that.

[kiragecko]

[Images show a bunch of text conversations.

No. 1:

Person A: did you patrol today

Person B: ok

A: 👍

No. 2

A: are you hungry

B: no

A: ok

No. 3

A: are you ok

B: why

A: checking in

B: 👍

No. 4

B: joker

A: what

B: here

A: handle it

A: please

B: ok

No. 5

B: :(

A: call barbara

B: concussion

A: coming

No. 6

B: sorry

A: what

B: nvm

A: ok

End ID.]

pov bruce and cass texting each other

[kiragecko]

Shame is one of the hardest things about ADHD for me. I'm back and the book is finished but instead of feeling proud, I feel ashamed for not having managed to stay active, manage my household better or even shower regularly.

I wasn't sure what comic "would be good to come back with", so I just wrote about what I'm actually dealing with right now.

I’m so happy to be back and hope someone still gets some value from my comics!

[kiragecko]

Describing text messages?

Okay, when describing a texting chain between unnamed people, what's a good way to indicate which person is talking? In the image, this is indicated visually, by what side of the screen the texts are on. (Also, sometimes by colour.)

This is a fan post, so I COULD label the texts with the character's names - it's clear who they are - but figuring it out was part of my enjoyment of the post, and I'd like to allow others the same pleasure.

I could label them 'blue text' and 'grey text'. 'Right side' and 'left side'. 'First person' and 'second person'. All of these seem bulky and awkward. (Especially since part of the joke is these two only communicate in single word texts.)

I come across chat fic often enough that it seems worth the effort to learn best practices now. So that I can more easily reblog such posts in the future!

[kiragecko]

[Image shows a blackout version of the original post, with words covered up so that it reads:

One of the worst things about reading a lot of Batman comics is that you realize that a lot of roBin fans hate Batman. And then you have to restrain the urge to be very very annoying.

End ID.]

One of the worst things about reading a lot of Batman comics is that you get to a point where you realize that a lot of people who have a lot of very strong opinions on Batman do not in fact read many comics that are about Batman. And then you have to restrain the urge to be very very annoying.