#Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is

[teethbomb]

mob psycho(logical horror) 100

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

one thing I haven't touched upon yet is how well the showrunners handled the time jump between Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory and more specifically - how well they handled maturing the campers.

At least to me the transition is nearly smoothless. Like, a couple of years have passed for those kids and those included years when people tend to change a lot - from children they grow into young adults. And the show did a fantastic job of shaping their adult forms in terms of personality. Because all of them have the core traits that we associated them with in Camp Cretaceous but at the same time they are more mature and carry their experiences on their back - both the experiences that we know of and those that could potentially fill up the time jump space if you know what I mean.

I look at Kenji for example and I still see remains of the boy that he was - a little bit arrogant (it still shows! he is very proud just of different things!), someone who doesn't shy away from an argument; but at the same time I see a man who has spent hours teaching kids and adults how to rock-climb - he can be patient too; I see someone who had to re-evaluate a lot in his life, and I can see that it wasn't easy, that it took a toll on him.

Or for example Sammy! Someone who loves her friends and family dearly still, a girl who was willing to fight for those she loved. But at the same time I see a young woman who knows that sometimes a compromise is the best option (like that situation with her neighbor). I see someone who still learns when her love and affection need to take a backseat for others to develop. I see someone who knows that sometimes being apart, even if it hurts, may be a good thing. I see someone forgiving but persistent.

Ben too... A boy who went through severe trauma that made his personality do flip and then, once time passed, he started rebuilding what was left of his old core. Anxious he is, a little boy still, but also a fighter - because he had to be one. At the same time, I see a young man who is a little torn on where he stands, who still figures out the details of his personality but who also knows his strengths and capabilities. In the end, he is energy-unbound, and he is eager to learn about the world in so many ways.

Darius, a boy who lost so much, and a young man who lost just as much. Life hasn't been easy on him. In jwcc grief encouraged him to attend camp, fulfill his father's dream. In jwct that aspect of his personality develops even more - now grief spins him into action, he doesn't wait for things to happen, he acts. He can work with others but he can also rely on himself, he grew up; he knows that he can handle himself, he still learns that he can reach out and ask for help, but he's getting there. He really is.

Not to mention Yas who has always been a creative person. Yes, it may be surprising that I mention that first but look at her now - inventing stuff, conducting projects? Remember her sketchbook in jwcc? Yeah, look where that creativity took her, look where her compassion took her - she helps people by helping herself. It was such a problem for her in jwcc (esp at the beginning) and look at her now - she's miles ahead of her old self.

Their personalities make so much sense because they are a clear continuation of their personalities in jwcc, and that's one of the reasons why jwct is so freaking good.

[cum-a-calla]

i went a little insane on this Jack Delroy tidbit (is it still a tidbit if it’s 4800 words? get back to me on that)

Jack Delroy visits a diner in the middle of the night to wind down. He has very little in the way of expectations in the midst of fighting his own demons, but one thing he doesn’t expect is meeting a starstruck waitress that forces him to truly reckon with his urges.

under the cut: the lightest touch of dubcon, rough PIV fucking, fingerfucking, oral sex, public fucking, internal misery, and the suggestion of possession.

…

The late-night circuit is taking its toll on Jack.

It’s not so much the show - he lives to host, lives to act and react, lives to hype up his guests, to engage the audience. Genuinely enjoys the silly little skits they do. It’s living a dream, being in front of the camera and feeling that very specific, special feeling - not quite acting, not quite being himself. It’s less a façade and more a specific side of him - just a sliver of Jack, a flavor. A taste.

It’s not even really the late-night circuit, is it?

Ever since - …since, Jack’s been off. And why wouldn’t he be? The loss, the never-ending grind, the… the events that precluded this loss. The carving out of something inside of him, and to that end, when did that start? When the ratings fell? When Minnie did? When everything between those two massive events in his life took place? That secret in-between time, the woods, the eerie hooting in the trees, the costumes; God, the costumes had been so hack. He’d come so willingly, veins sluiced with booze, laughing, jeering with the rest of them. Until… until they weren’t.

Until he was kneeling in the pine needles, feeling them crunch under his knees, and had he ever paid so much attention to his surroundings? Had he ever stopped and noticed how it smelled in the forest? Perhaps not until then. Green, thick, heady. The sound of flapping wings, the whispers of his cohorts in the night. The metallic taste in the cup. Feeling something so unlike anything else, coursing through him, and wasn’t it so easy to chalk it up to nothing? It was easier. It was easier.

And then… and then.

It had been a time between sweet Minnie’s passing and his almost-reluctant return. But how long can tragedy keep you from your ultimate calling? There can only be so many mornings, noons and nights spent in a stupor, crying, vomiting, drinking, drugging. Only so much time avoiding every single part of your life, your livelihood. And what an unfair thing, to neglect one love of your life for the loss of another; Minnie’s face, her voice, she still lives in the back of his brain like an aneurysm. Capable of taking him completely out at any given moment.

And so the meetings in the Grove certainly helped, and perhaps did not at all. Before, after - what difference does time make, anyway? Minnie’s passing feels at once a hundred years in the past as well as five minutes ago. Time. Distortion is the only thing Jack knows anymore. There is only his life as the leading Night Owl and his life as Jack, and what in the fuck does that mean anymore unless he masks it with whatever else he can get his hands on?

His hands.

They tremble a little on the table, slid into a booth at a local diner. It’s a perfect imagining of a fifties spot, the plush, scuffed seats, the ridiculous outfits the largely female staff are wearing - the modest skirts, the aprons. The little notebook balanced against his waitress’s arm as she glides dutifully to his table.

“Evening,” she begins, glancing at him for barely a second before flipping a page. “Or - well, I guess it’s more like… good morning, right?” She laughs a gentle little laugh and it tugs at him, somehow. He watches her as he sweats, resisting the urge to wipe at his damp hairline. It’s been a fucking night.

“Evening and good morning to you, young lady,” he responds. Always genteel, always On.

She glances at him again and it’s a classic double-take. Eyes a little wider, she shifts in place and stares at her notebook, making every effort to conceal her recognition. Jack’s seen this look hundreds, thousands of times, so used to it that he can only smile warmly in return. The price of fame, but also the pleasure. She’s turning pink in the cheeks and it’s endearing, the way it lights her freckles up, the way it makes her squirm in place. Jack is charmed. He’s used to all ranges of attention - clamoring women, shy women, forward men. He takes it all in stride, but it’s the shy ones that get him. Demure, unsure. Something in his gut twists, and he waits politely for her to organize her thoughts before he says anything else.

“Th-thank you,” she stammers, blushing. “I… I know you must uh, get this a lot, but… you look like somebody,” she hints. She flicks her eyes from her notepad to Jack’s own eyes, guarded, giddily scared.

“I do get that a lot,” he says warmly. He drops her a quick, clever wink. “You’re clearly up late enough to know for sure, considering.”

She lifts the pad and covers her mouth with it, making an adorable, almost-silent squeal of excitement. The tips of her ears are burning, she’s so flustered. Jack can’t help but grin, laughing at her genuine and unbridled reaction.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry, I’m being so dumb! I just - I love you,” she gushes, and the words tumbling from her lips embarrass her even further as she cringes at herself. Absolutely gorgeous - Jack can’t help but run his eyes quickly along the line of her body, noting the curve of her waist, the length of her legs. The hint of bare thigh under her skirt. “I’m such a fan. I know everybody must say that, I.. wow, I’ve never met somebody famous before. Especially not somebody I’m such a big fan of.”

“That’s incredibly sweet. Must be my lucky night, being waited on by such a lovely fan,” he flirts. The dark twist in his pelvis keeps him eyeing her, and he’s forced to take the linen napkin on the table and blot at his forehead. “Excuse me - been a long, long night.”

“I bet,” she says. “I imagine you’re constantly busy. Mister Delroy, I’m so sorry for keeping you waiting - what can I get you?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. Just a… a black coffee will do me for now.”

She nods and the woman scurries away, glowing with excitement. It’s just one of the many perks, the hoards of beautiful women that lose themselves in his presence. The power there. Jack is easy, kind - hearted. He has no need for applause, not in the way you’d assume - he lives to be enjoyed, lives to be an entertainment, sure. But the drive isn’t for the droves of people begging to worship him - and isn’t that cliché? Isn’t that just something a famous, rich asshole would say, or convince himself of?

But it rings true. All he wanted - all he wants, all he sacrificed for -

All he sacrificed for… is to be needed.

The girl comes back with his coffee, placing it down on top of a napkin in an oversized, chipped mug. Jack smiles warmly at her and winks again, watching her thighs under her skirt as she hurries away again. It’s cute, really. It’s heartening in a way, but mostly… it stirs. Jack forcibly turns his head and stares down at the scratched formica tabletop, coffee steaming. A single drop trails its way down the cup and stains the napkin, bleeding through to the table. In the low of his gut, in the back of his brain, a whisper begins. He sweats - he’s always sweating these days. The cocaine, the alcohol, the various other substances he blinds himself with… and -

And…

The… thing. The thing that makes his belly hot, the thing that turns his cock hard even when he least expects it. It’s like a black, swirling possession over him; it’s the only thing that he doesn’t need a substance for, but a substance against. It’s not a drunkenness, not a high - it’s something else entirely, a tingling, pervasive kind of darkness.

It’s been easy to overcome it most of the time…

Most of the time.

It gets harder every day, little by little. What makes it really hard is when he finds a person, a thing, a place, a situation - something that makes his fucking balls ache, something that fills him to the throat with blackness, with need, and he follows. It’s all part of it. Resisting makes him… not himself. Giving in makes him not himself. Where the line between who he thinks he is and who he is now has been blurred, irrevocably lost in the dust of things, impossible to decipher. The ruins of his life have been buried so many ways in such a short amount of time. He looks in the mirror and it’s a miracle to recognize himself anymore. He rakes his fingers through his hair, straightens the lapels on his suit jacket. It’s hot. He takes the napkin, blots his sweat once more.

He stares serenely out the window at the darkened sky. Stars are out, now, piercing through all that velvety blue-black, like freckles, like pinholes embedded in some luxurious cloth. He checks his watch - just about a quarter to three in the morning, and not even a wink of an urge to sleep. Nothing satiates, nothing helps him rest. Constantly on the hamster wheel, doing his little dance.

“Mister Delroy - I, uh - well - I know you just ordered the coffee, but… we had some extra things, so… I just thought - in case you were hungry… On the house, of course.”

Jack turns to the waitress as she carries a plate to him, steaming with all kinds of fixings - hashbrowns, eggs, bacon, toast. She toes her shoe on the floor, and again he steals a look at the little bit of exposed thigh, the way she nervously straightens the apron affixed to the front of her uniform dress. He smiles up at her and there’s a whisper in the back of his mind - he watches her struggle to try to look away, but she can’t. He indulges her in her sweet gaze, refusing to break eye contact just to see what she does. She squirms a little, pleasantly so - her pupils dilate, flicker from his mouth back to his eyes. Trying not to be obvious. It makes him laugh a little, a hum under his breath as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Thank you very much, dear. You sure know how to take care of a tired man.”

She looks at the floor, smiles so big. She ducks under the length of her hair but it does nothing to dull the sheer delight making her face glow so. Jack wants to grab her by the hips - a line of racing thoughts boil his blood, stir his cock as he sits. Thinking about her lips on him, the warmth of her mouth, his fingers digging into her. Stop. Not now. Please. Fighting the urges, the impulses.

“Anything for you, Mister Delroy.”

He almost winces, dick jumping in his slacks. God, she’s adorable. There’s an almost coquettish quality to the way she looks up at him again, under her lashes, hands clasped chastely behind her back. She licks her lips and he feels suddenly so, so feral. He can almost taste her by power of thought alone.

“Jack is fine… I insist.” He reaches out and takes her hand. Her fingers tremble the slightest bit and it sets his soul on fucking fire. He brings her soft hand to his lips and kisses her tenderly on the knuckles, resisting the urge to take her fingers into his mouth, to gently bite on the tips of them. He imagines pushing his own fingers between her pink lips and feeling her tongue, reaching back toward her throat until she’s teary-eyed. He watches her as she exhales, shaky. Uncertain. Absolutely excited.

“Jack,” she parrots under her soft breath. “Jack it is, then.”

As she hurries back behind the counter, fielding some of the other late night owls in the restaurant, he contemplates what exactly brought him here. Why the cocaine never jumps him the way it used to, at the beginning. Before the - the… gathering. Why the booze doesn’t calm him the way it used to. Why nothing works, why nothing can settle the hot, despicable urges, the constant crawling underneath his own flesh.

He spends the better part of the next hour switching between gazing out the window, sipping his coffee (and then another, and then another) and picking at his plate, forcing himself to chew the food, to taste it, to appreciate his server’s gift. It does nothing to satiate him. He can barely feel hunger these days - it’s just going through the motions.

Minnie used to make a killer breakfast. On lazy weekends, while he slept off a hangover, and -

He pushes those thoughts away.

3:55 A.M.

The cute waitress comes around again and seems pleasantly surprised to keep finding him here, alone, lingering. Is he lingering? Why is he still here? He should be trying to sleep everything off, getting at least a snatch of shut-eye before another busy day tomorrow trying to up his ratings. There’s a very special show in the works - still in the idea phase, still scouting for a story, but… it’s shaping. Things are rolling, building up. The smart thing to do would be to pay his bill and catch a cab to his hotel room so he can rest fitfully for a few hours.

He asks for the bill and she swallows her own crestfallen feelings as she turns to retrieve it for him. He glances at it, pulls bills from his cracked leather bifold and tips her so generously that her eyes almost bug out of her head. She begins to refuse his tip and he rises from his seat, shushing her. He towers over here and she has no choice but to gaze up at him, like the very length of him is hypnotizing. The shared hunger. He can feel it like electricity, and for a split second they’re so close to each other that he could hook his hand behind the curve of her skull and pull her into a kiss. There’s zero doubt she would give it to him.

Instead, he grasps her shoulder and gives her a light squeeze.

“Thank you for a delightful breakfast - or dinner. Whatever is appropriate for this time of night,” he jokes.

She smiles, beaming at him like he’s the sun and she can do nothing more but bask in his light. “Of course, Mister Del - er, of course, Jack. It was such a pleasure to meet you. A dream.”

“I’m flattered,” he says, and he means it. That’s one thing about his job, and about protecting the shreds of humility he still has left - he always means it. There is nothing more intoxicating, nothing more rewarding than meeting a person who lights up at his very presence. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Touching somebody in such a profound way that brings a little joy, a little entertainment? “The pleasure’s all mine.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true.” Her voice is low, quiet and sweet. He stoops just slightly to catch it, that dark little voice tickles the back of his brain as he finds himself just a touch closer to her, and he swallows against the urge again to crush her against him, to sip her breath into his lungs and feel her tongue against his. Her eyes glitter in the old, yellowed lights of the diner. He, the Jack Delroy, finds himself utterly speechless and hanging on to her silence like a life raft, awash in his own deafening desire. “I’ll never forget this night, Jack.”

He’s the one basking, now, wondering what her feverish cheek might feel like against his, what other parts of her might feel just as hot, just as deliriously pink and warm against his own flesh. He summons a graceful smile, but it comes out as more of a gentle smirk, a huff of a laugh. Since when does Jack get nervous?

She waits and he regains control of himself, running his fingers through his hair and swiping the back of his hand across his damp hairline, straightening up, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sure I won’t be forgetting this night any time soon, myself,” he jokes. She’s delighted, practically vibrating in place. He can almost smell her, her sweat. Some delicate kind of perfume or soap.

He makes his way outside and waves at her as she returns behind the counter, scurrying into the kitchens - he imagines her in there pressing her hands to her own cheeks, shaking out her adrenaline and excitement. It’s endearing. It sets him on fire.

There are a line of pay phones outside of the restaurant, and he steps into one and lights a cigarette, flipping through the pages to find a cab service. He finds himself eyeing the building, seeing if he can see her through the windows as she continues serving. Mere glimpses - he sees her flit back and forth a little, remaining largely out of his view.

He closes the abused phone book and drops it to hang on its heavy chain, the pages nearly in tatters by years and years of use. He exits the booth without having so much as put any coins into the slot, opting instead to walk across the parking lot. He glances at his watch - 4:14 A.M. He seats himself on a cement block at the edge of the lot, finishing his cigarette just to light up another one directly after. God, he could really use a scotch or two - not that it would help any.

Minutes tick by and he waits. He rubs his sweaty palms down his thighs, constantly checking his watch. 4:21 A.M.

By the time 4:45 A.M. rolls around, he spots her. The lot is dark, the flickering neon sign of the diner doing little to expose him to her. She has a purse slung over her shoulder and not much else. Jack rises to his feet, wincing at the pop of his knees, the stiffness in his back. He flicks the butt of his cigarette to the ground and smashes the lit end with the toe of his shoe.

He approaches her and the gravel crunching under his feet has her suddenly alert, jerking her attention toward him. He watches her tense up, eyes wide, clutching the strap of her bag. Her features distort with fear, confusion. She can’t seem to decide how to feel, expression blurring and resetting, blurring again.

“Jack…? What are you - what are you doing here?”

“I was, uh… well, I suppose I was waiting.”

“Waiting for…?”

“For you.”

A hint of delight seems to ease her tension, but not enough for her to relax. She shifts from one foot to the other. Jack aches. He feels the heat pooling in his pelvis, feels that pull. His cock is already half-hard, pulsing with his heartbeat as he comes closer. She’s frozen to the spot, unable to do much else but watch him.

“For me? Wh-why?”

“There is something very special about you, I think. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, if I’m being honest.”

He’s nearly touching her, and he slowly brings his finger to her chin, lifting her face to his. He leans down until he can feel her shuddering little breaths against his mouth. She licks her lips, anticipating him, and he finally bridges that gap. Her lips are so soft, her kiss so submissive, inviting. It’s even better than he’d been fantasizing about, and inky black tendrils of desire creep up through his spine, dripping behind his ribs like ichor. Roiling down from his belly to his balls, stiffening his cock. The violence. The utter, blind, salivating need as he pulls her close, buries his fingers in the fabric of her cheap uniform as he does so. She resists for a moment and seems to melt into him, moaning into his mouth.

He could eat her alive.

They stumble together across the gravel, her hands on his face, skating over his sharp cheekbones to muss his hair. He grabs at her ass, squeezing the generous flesh there. He imagines biting her, leaving a mark that she’ll feel for days to come, imagines her craning to look into a mirror and running her fingers along bruises, bite marks. God, how he wants to mark her.

He guides her clumsily into the mouth of an alley behind the diner. Pressed against the wall, he has the freedom to roam further under her skirt. He tucks his thumbs into the band of her sheer, nylon tights, pulling them down to her calves. Kneeling before her, he watches her flushed expression as he rips her panties off her body with his strong hands, relishing the way she squeals his name. Like a trapped animal. A lamb trembling in the jaws of a wolf. He dips his fingers between her thighs, sliding them into the tight heat of her cunt. She gasps as he fills her this way, stroking, thrusting until she’s practically panting. He ducks under her dress and a growl rumbles up his throat as he tastes her. He wants her dripping down his face. He wants her to beg him to stop, to feel her tighten exquisitely around his fingers as he fucks her with them.

She’s alternating between gently pulling his hair and petting it, thumb slipping occasionally down to trace the bridge of his nose. She does this many times, and it’s so unexpectedly intimate it catches him off guard. Feeling him, painting the image of his profile on the inside of her mind’s eye like a tattoo - it’s not enough to be able to look at him, touch him, kiss him, watch him on TV. She traces him. She memorizes the shape of his nose, the gentle slope of his brow, fingers tickling over his cheekbones. It has him leaking in his trousers.

Her breath catches in her throat and his name is on her lips, sweet and soft as silk, thighs shaking, and there it is - she climaxes. He pulls his fingers out of her and stoops even lower, tongue pushing as far as he can into her folds, nosing her clit. This seems to do something animalistic to her; she nearly screams, covering her own mouth as she grinds against him. He wonders idly if she’ll buck hard enough to break his nose (and so be it, he decides).

Jack can’t wait any longer. He wipes his face off on his sleeve, spins her in place and yanks her hips back. She’s still catching her breath, face so red in the shadows of the alleyway. Eyes half-lidded and dreamy, lips swollen. She glances back at him and watches him struggle to unbuckle and unzip himself, pulling his hard cock out to rub between her wet thighs.

“Jack - please,” she whines. “Please, please.”

“Please what?” God, she’s so fucking slippery. He could swoon on the spot. She makes a soft, whimpering sound and he pulls the head of his cock away, teasing. “Come on. Say what you want.”

“Please… make it hurt.”

For a moment, he stares into her eyes in surprise, and she offers him a coy smile. It changes her features into something a little more sinister than he’d expected. It sets him on fire. Without another word, Jack lines himself up to her plush, slick, waiting cunt and fills her in one brutal thrust. She stiffens on the spot and screams, and now it’s his turn to clap a hand over her mouth.

“Oh, but you wanted this, little dove,” he coos in her ear between grunts. He fucks her hard, fast, feeling all that silken flesh rippling around him. “I had no idea you’d be so filthy. Are you like this for other men? Older men? Spreading your legs in an alley for them to fuck you open?”

The sounds she makes against his hand are probably words - surely they are, but all he hears is her desperate mewling, her high-pitched moans and near-shrieks, the feeling of her breath and drool, her teeth as she considers biting into the flesh of his palm.

“Just me, then? How long have you wanted this, how long have you fantasized about Jack-fucking-Delroy pounding into your little pussy? Do you think of me when you try to sleep? Do you touch yourself thinking of it? Is it what you expected, darling?”

He can barely control himself. There’s a special place between heaven and hell, some secret universe they’ve created with all the heat and pressure of their bodies, with the whispering darkness coursing through him, clouding him, transforming him. There’s nothing else but the urge to rip her in half. To make her scream, to fill her so violently that she feels it for days, for weeks even. He releases her mouth in order to grab her hips, hooking his fingers around the soft flesh there to yank her back against his brutal thrusts. He no longer cares how loud she screams. He likes the way her hands flutter back, grabbing at his wrists, reaching for this thighs in a poor attempt to escape his violence, to temper the way he hammers into her. But he’s too far gone - the smack of his hips into her ass, the way their bodies make the most infernally wet sounds… it’s all there is.

Jack hears a sound, something that nags him in the back of his mind. A rhythmic, gentle noise in the distance, something familiar but unable to breach the ferocity of his current focus. As the pressure builds in his balls, cock harder and more rigid than ever before, he recognizes it. Delirious, he recognizes the sound of an owl somewhere among these buildings, the gentle, almost mocking call of it every couple minutes.

Something about it pushes him over the edge, sweat rolling down his forehead in hot, fat drops, tickling the tip of his nose. He holds her flush as release frees him from all that pressure, muscles tightening and relaxing and waves of molten-hot pleasure surge all through his belly, between his thighs. She’s nearly sobbing at this point, and who can blame her? Each throb of his cock has him grunting against her, draped over her body, teeth bared.

Jack’s easing up, now. He rocks through his orgasm and fills her with his cum, pushing himself as deeply as he can as if a slave to his biological urge. Coating her, marking her with his seed. Mine. I did this.

As he’s emptied himself into her, so empties his mind. No more owl sounds, no more swirling thoughts, the darkness dissipating. He pulls his softening cock from her body and tucks himself away, doing his best to help the poor woman straighten up. Tear tracks shine on her cheeks, little sniffles accompanying her embarrassed smile. There’s fear there, just a little. It hides beneath the veneer of guilty satisfaction, of still being starstruck by her company. It seems that she can barely believe everything that’s just happened. He puts an arm slowly around her shoulders and guides her out from the alley, taking a secret and perverse satisfaction in the way she has to limp a little at first.

“Hey - that was… well, that was something, wasn’t it?” He laughs nervously, searching her to make sure she’s okay. “Are you all right? Do you need a cab? I’d be happy to get one for you, to share?”

“That would be great, actually, if - if it isn’t a pain, Mister Delroy.”

“Jack,” he corrects her gently. He turns her toward the phone book and she waits beside it as he makes the call, staring into the night sky and hugging herself warm. He reemerges, and the way she looks up at him fills him with something he can’t quite name. Some kind of near-familiarity. He’s suddenly struck with his need for the affection, to hold her, to lean own and kiss her lips and be tender to her after all of that. He shrugs out of his suit jacket and drapes it over her shoulders, drinks in her warm little smile as she tugs it around her. They wait in a comfortable silence, occasionally smiling at each other until a car pulls into the lot. It doesn’t take very long at all. He escorts her to it and slides into the back with her once she’s seated, resting his heavy hand on her knee.

“Would you like to… do you need a place to stay the night?” The nip of loneliness. The need, poking its head restlessly into his mind, his body. So different than what they’d done against the wall, so much scarier. “If you’d like to join me…”

She tries unsuccessfully to hide a grin, turning to stare out the window at nothing at all. Hiding her delight, her own need. “I’d love to, Jack.”

[merakiui]

who else in twst has a breeding kink 🥵?? I think the twins ofc because breeding instincts but doesn't that also mean the beastmen? It's so hot when the normal human cast have a breeding kink though like Neige having a breeding kink hits different

>:) I will list them below.

Deuce - please hear me out with this one. He wants to be good for his mother. He's trying to clean up his act and he's so loyal and devoted. Very polite!! Always respecting women (even if he has trouble talking to them). And wouldn't the best gift to his hard-working mother be to let her know she'll be a grandmother?! <3 wouldn't it be so nice to knock you up nice and good so he can take care of you and start a nice, happy family? Deuce thinks about it often and it becomes more appealing as the days pass.

Trey - need I say more? Trey is so AAAAAAAAAAAA OTL and he deserves a cute, pregnant wifey who he can make lots of pregnancy-safe sweets for!!!!!! I think it's the inner father in him. He's so responsible, so parental, so very husband material. I think he doesn't even realize he has a breeding kink until it dawns on him at the very last minute and suddenly everything makes sense.

Leona - it's the beastman instinct to mate, but I also just think there's a very carnal part of Leona who would love to always fill you to the brim with his cum!!! He wants to see how much you can take and how many times he has to fuck you before you're finally pregnant weeks later. Besides, if he's always knocking you up his brother can stop nagging him about marriage and mates and keeping the royal bloodline extant.

Jack - also beastman instincts, but wolves mate for life and this is the exact bond Jack wants. He only needs one true, lifelong love who he can stuff full of cum. He's very responsible and logical, so I don't think he would want a big family (there's also the toll many pregnancies will have on you and he wants to make sure you will always be okay). But it's very tempting to knot you and cum inside every time the two of you have sex.

Ruggie - beastman instincts, but also Ruggie just loves the idea of foregoing protection and just knocking you up in the most carnal ways. You would look so cute with your round belly and the clothes that hardly fit, and he'd have so much fun putting everything on Leona's tab to buy maternity wear for you. And then with the breeding kink comes the lactation kink. Ruggie will be first in line for that when the time comes. <3

Azul - massive breeding kink for the most massive loser in twst!!!!!!! <3 every spring he gets really weird and fidgety and he's so awkward around you. I like to think the mer instincts are heightened when the weather is warmer and stickier because,,,,, warm weather is perfect for mating in the sea and most merfolk like to mate during the spring and sometimes in early summer. He is not the most focused when spring rolls around because all it takes is a whiff of your scent and he wants so badly to fuck you full. T_T the horny grip is so debilitating that he's actually really snappy and easily irritated (and it's usually because he's plagued with the filthiest dreams that feel so real and he's always suffering because when he wakes up it's in an empty bed with an erection that you should be handling, not him!!!!)

Jade & Floyd - these two...... the eels....... orz the horniest eels in the sea omg!!! it does not matter what month or season it is. every day is breeding season for them. Jade can exercise more control because he likes to be a "polite gentleman." Floyd thinks Jade's cock-blocking himself with his stuffy, snobby gentleman act, but oh well!!! More Shrimpy for him. <3 they want a big, big family. I also just think they like seeing you pregnant all the time. Big fans of lactation, these two, and even bigger fans of pregnancy sex. They also love cumming inside hehe. They probably have a box of condoms stored somewhere in their room, but why use them when the entire point is to knock you up? And even if you don't want them to cum inside, you won't be able to verbalize it when you're screaming your throat raw from back-to-back orgasms. T_T that, and Jade's fingers are in your mouth to play with your tongue. Jade and Floyd are so annoying because when the pregnancy test comes back positive and you're ready to beat them into the ground they give you this look 🥺 accompanied with "but don't you want to be a mommy?" reckless eels... ;;;;

Kalim - also another one who wants a huge family because he loves the energy and the excitement of big families. He comes from a large family himself and his father is always enabling his every desire. Kalim follows his heart (and his dick) and both are saying he needs to give you lots of cum so you can have many, many kids! His parents should not be surprised when he visits home for a break and you're pregnant (again).

Rook - it's Rook. I feel like that explains it. ^^;;;

Malleus - fae instincts and there's the need to produce an heir. But beyond that Malleus just really wants to see you pregnant. He thinks you would look so soft and sweet and pretty!!!! Always horny gripping, but you'll never know because he appears so serious. And since he is such a powerful mage, magic can easily waive most effects of pregnancy so he can make it so that it won't be so strenuous on your body. That means many more pregnancies to come!!! :) you cannot mention pregnancy around Lilia because he enables Malleus's horny grip. orz

Lilia - he really wants to raise another child again. It's so wonderful and so rewarding. Do not let his age fool you. He is always horny. Lots of stamina. Loves cumming inside each time. And he always smiles when you ask what he'll do if you get pregnant. Obviously he'll care for the little one! You needn't worry so much. He has experience, so you can trust him. <3

Silver - please hear me out again. >_< Silver's only sex education lessons came from Lilia and it was probably just Lilia showing Silver animals mating in the woods. T_T so Silver just assumes it's like that for humans and that they have breeding seasons, too. He probably fucks like an animal in heat as well. orz I like to think Lilia never told him about protection, so Silver's lived his life thinking the only way was to either cum inside or pull out and the former is so much more enjoyable. Silver also likes how connected the two of you will be when he knocks you up. He wants to be a good father and he also wants to give Lilia grandchildren, so you are getting pounded into the bed from sunrise to sunset!!!!!!

Rollo - I think he wants to have children with you because you're less likely to leave him, but also because you will be completely reliant on him when you're pregnant and he's heard pregnancy hormones can be quite exciting. A higher sex drive means more opportunities to help you see how perfect a domestic life is. But also there is a very twisted part of him that just loves cumming inside each time even after he's promised he'll be sure to get you a morning-after pill as soon as he pulls out. He's a liar!!!! And he loves to comfort you when the tests come back positive, stroking his hand up and down your back and whispering little assurances about how he knows you'll be the best mother.

Neige - He's taken care of the dwarfs and they're practically his family. Even though big families can be difficult, he'll work hard! Neige loves seeing you pregnant. He loves the idea of having you as his pregnant housewife and filling the home with many kids. But beyond that he just adores how cock-drunk you get and he likes cumming inside because he thinks it's so romantic. And how can he possibly deny you when you're begging him to fill you up? Anything for his one true sweetheart!!

Che'nya - beastman instinct, but I like to think Che'nya is also really horny. And he's always so sneaky! He loves to fuck you when he's invisible hehe. He'll be evasive when you ask the air if he's wearing protection. Maybeeee. Maybeeee not. Who can really say? Che'nya wants to give you an entire litter, so make sure to take all of his cum! He's always so satisfied after each session, humming so cheerily while cum's dripping from your hole. He'll finger it back in; can't waste a single drop, after all. But even if you do, there's plenty more where that came from.

[matthew-gray-gubler-lover]

Emerald Green Daydream.

Smut 18+

Spencer was away on yet another case. You know that he loves his job, but sometimes it really takes its toll on both of you. But it's especially bothering you today. your special package Was delivered today. Emerald green And Lacey, you knew that Spencer would love it. 

You knew the second you saw it that you had to have it. He would not be able to resist you in it. It's kind of a bittersweet moment now that it's here, since you can try it on and see how you'll look in it, but the man that you really want to see you in it isn't there to do so. 

Even though Spencer has called you several times to let you know how the case is doing, you still miss him a lot. 

Spencer has been having a hard time with this case too. The two of you were kissing, making out hot and heavy when the phone rang. Taking him away on this case, neither one of you got to fulfill your desire to be with each other. And Spencer's been having a hard time. Focusing on the case.

He keeps getting lost in Daydream. Like, right now, he's imagining you sitting on top of him, riding him gently, kissing him, caressing his hair. Moaning his name as he thrusted slightly up into you.

"Hey, pretty boy. Are you going to help us with this case or not? You've just been sitting over there, lost in thought for the past half hour. What's matter? Do you miss y/n" Morgan asked him as he patted Spencer on the shoulder.

"Yes, I do. It's like I don't really get to Spend enough time with her you know. I feel like it's really unfair." spencer answered.

"I'm sure that you make up for it when you go home. I'm sure your ladylove knows that you love her."

"I do try to make it up to her when I'm home. Like right before we had to go on the case we were making out, you know, we were about to head to the bedroom. But the phone rang and I had to leave. I just miss her so much."

"I know how you feel, pretty boy. This job. It can really drain you, but. I know she understands. She loves you and she'll be there waiting for you when you get home. Don't worry about that."

"i know she will be, i was talking to her today, but it's not the same, i want to touch her"

"i know, we will be done soon, That's what I was coming To tell you Penelope found something and I think that we might be able to locate the unsub Very soon."

And Morgan was right. By the end of the day, the unsub had been found.

Spencer could not be happier to make it back home to you.

You knew that Spencer would be coming home today, you just weren't sure when. There is some paperwork that they needed to finish at the police station before he could Even board the jet. The just the anticipation of him coming home had your body tingling in your nerves on end. All you wanted was for Spencer to be home and with you again. Spencer felt the same way, finding it very hard to focus on the paperwork that he needed to file. 

All he could think about was getting home to you. When the paperwork was finally done and the team boarded the jet. Spencer thought it would maybe help him to take a nap, pass the time a little bit faster. Sense. At the moment, all he's doing is going through his phone, looking at pictures of you. Something that was not really helping him at the moment.

It was getting late and you're beginning to get tired, so you decided to put on your. Pretty green nighty that you bought just for Spencer. Once you have it on and you make sure that your hair and makeup is just right, not that Spencer really cares if your hair and makeup is perfect or not. To him, you are the most beautiful woman in the world, no matter what you could Be wearing an oversized sweatshirt, no makeup, and your hair. An absolute mess and he would still find You Beautiful.

Meanwhile on the jet, Spencer is taking his nap, which ended up being a regrettable decision, as all he did was dream of you the way that you look. The way you smell, the way you feel, he began to Dream of you on top of him. Your fingertips running over his bare chest as you rode him like It was the last thing you were ever going to do.

Your lips on his moaning his name over and over again. It wasn't until JJ nudged him a little bit that he woke up from his sexy dream.

" What's wrong? Did we land?" He asked groggily.

" No Spence were still flying, but you were having a bad dream, or perhaps a really, really good dream" she said with a chuckle.

Poor Spencer turned bright red as he finally realized that he indeed was having this very sexy, steamy dream about you.

Now this is where Morgan would usually harass Spencer. We're having such a dream, but instead he felt bad for Spencer, knowing that all he really wanted was to be home with you, but also feeling happy for him at the same time as he was now going home to be with you.

Meanwhile, back at home, it is now 11:35 at night. And you are very tired, but you're trying your hardest to stay up because you want to be awake and ready for Spence when he comes home. You put on your pink bathrobe and decide to lay in bed for a little while. Just a little nap before Spencer gets home. You set the alarm on your phone and go to sleep.

The jet ride was a little faster than you anticipated, and Spencer made it home before your alarm went off. Slowly opened up the bedroom door after he entered your shared apartment and put down his Satchel at the front door. He didn't want to wake you and tried his best not to, as he saw you sleeping so soundly in your pretty pink bathrobe that he gave to you to remember him when he was away.

He looked at you and began smiling softly as he saw you laying there in the item that he had given to you. It made him happy to know that he could give you comfort even when he was away. He went into the bathroom after grabbing his pajamas off the dresser. He leaves them there just in case he should come home during a time like this when you're asleep and doesn't want to wake you.

He put on the black Plaid pajama bottoms and the. Purple T-shirt that he left there. Came back into the bedroom and slowly lifted up the cover so that he didn't wake you.

He made it into the bed without you noticing, but he just couldn't help himself. He had to hold you in his arms. After wrapping his arms around you, you woke up a little bit.

" It's OK, baby. It's Spencer, I made it home a little earlier than I thought. I didn't mean to wake you sweetie. Please go back to sleep." He spoke. Before giving you a sweet Peck on the lips.

" But I have a surprise for you. I was all ready for you, but I fell asleep. I'm sorry, baby." You told him, your voice thick with sleep.

" It's no problem. Whatever the surprise is, it can wait until morning. I just want you to sleep and I'm very tired. We both need to sleep, OK, baby?"

"ok" you were too tired to protest.

When morning came. You were still held in Spencer's arms.

" Good morning Y/n" Was the first words that you heard that morning.

" Hi, Are you ready for your surprise?"

" Sure, I can take my surprise now. You seem so upset last night about not being able to give it to me, so I'm very excited to see what it is."

" OK, I hope you like it" you said, getting up out of bed. And standing at the End of the bed before opening your robe and showing him your emerald green lingerie.

Spencer's eyes almost popped out of his head before he took the covers off and began crawling to the edge of the bed.

" You're wearing this all night?"

" Yes, just for you."

" You look beautiful" he said, before stroking the silk fabric that was on your body.

" Thank you. And I hate to ruin the romantic mood, but it's been all night and I really have to pee. Then I'll come back and I promise we'll have fun, OK?"

Spencer couldn't help but laugh at your comment about having to pee. Of course you did. You were in bed all night. How could you not have to? And truth be told, he had to as well.

" So do I." He told you with the biggest smile on his face and a loud chuckle.

When they both were done in the bathroom and came back into the bedroom. They were all ready for the activity that they had been dying for. 

"I can't believe that you were wearing this all night". Spencer told her before cupping her beautiful breasts. Held so perfectly inside the green silk fabric, pushing them up just right.

"When I saw it, I knew that I had to buy it. I knew that you would love it." you told him

Spencer couldn't take it anymore. He had to be inside of you.

"I can't take it anymore. Honey. I have to be inside of you. I can't wait anymore. Are you ready for me?" He asked you.

"Yes" you moaned out, eagerly awaiting the feeling of him inside of you. Something that you have been so desperate for over the last few days. And it was like magic, just as always. He felt amazing to be inside of you again. You felt so warm and tight around him. He couldn't help but moan out your name as he was only halfway inside of you. It made you happy to know that you could make him feel so good, both of you moaning together as he moves slowly inside of you, covering your lips with as many kisses as you possibly could.

"I missed this He whispered. In your ear as he slowly thrusted.

"Not just the sex, but the intimacy of all of this. Being close to you, kissing you, being able to touch you. I miss it so much when I'm away. And then to come home and you bought this. Beautiful Lingerie to wear for me. How did I get so lucky?" He asked before giving you another kiss.

It was in times like this when Spencer believed that he was the lucky one for having you and not the other way around, which was the real truth, that you were lucky for having him that made your heart absolutely melt. You were complete putty in this man's hands, and he knew it.

You always felt safe with Spencer, even the very first time the two of you had sex together. It was both of your first time actually, and everybody always says the first time isn't good and it's so stressful. But with Spencer it was just so natural and free. It just happened. Neither one of you planned for it, and it was the most magical experience either one of you had ever had. And something that you both wanted to keep doing forever.

Spencer moved slowly in and out of you. The two of you moaning together, absolutely thrilled to be together It's something both of you waited for, and you were so glad that you were able to finally be together. It was as if no time went by at all. The two of you were one once again. Spencer's right hand was running up and down your thigh, making you moan out even more as it left Goosebumps in the wake of his fingertips.

Causing Spencer to chuckle slightly as he kissed you again. Before he took his hand off of your thigh and intertwines your fingers together. Spencer was always a passionate lover. Always made you Feel like you are the most important thing in the world to him.

I missed you so much, he said, resting on his one elbow. That was holding up all of his weight.

Looking into your eyes. He tells you.

" You know, it's really weird. I kept having this fantasy about you and you were wearing an emerald green sexy lingerie set just like what you're wearing. I kept having the same fantasy over and over and over. And then here you are, my emerald green Daydream."

He told you before kissing you again.

You moan his name slowly as he continued thrusting in and out as slow pace. It may have been slow, but it felt so amazing. You didn't ever want him to stop. You never wanted him to leave again. Just quit the BAU and just stay here with you in bed forever.

And Spencer would love nothing more than to grant you that wish. But you both know it couldn't happen. Spencer loved his Job and people need him.

Both of you now completely desperate to cum Spencer takes his finger. On the hand that was recently holding yours and begins rubbing your clit Making you moan even more and clench around him. The moans coming from the two of you were almost pornographic.

After just a few Circles ran around on your sensitive clit The two of you were Cuming together.

It was pure bliss. For both of you, moaning out each other's names. You both came. You Laid together, panting. Spencer was still inside of you. He was still hard somehow and didn't want to leave you. The two of you laid together for a short while before he looked into your eyes, brushing a piece of hair from your forehead and telling you "I love you so much. Think you could go for another round?" He asked you with such a sweet smile. Even if you weren't still wanting him, you still couldn't deny him. But you were ready for more. You were always ready for more when it came to Spencer. It wasn't that he didn't satisfy you, it was because he satisfied you.

He began moving again, slowly looking into your eyes, asking. "How did I get so lucky?"

This was the second time tonight that he asked you this question. This time your response was. "I'm the lucky one Spencer."

this is how you spent the next three days in pure bliss making love Multiple times a day, taking showers together, having meals together. The two of you didn't leave your apartment the whole time Spencer was home. How could you? When all the two of you wanted was right there inside your apartment.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope that you enjoyed. Please leave comments, I love hearing from my readers. And if you have any suggestions for future Stories I would love to hear from you.

[sirins-cove]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓚𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽: 𝓐 𝓢𝓲𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓪𝓵𝔂𝓼𝓲𝓼

𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐

Its finally here my character analysis on Silver from twisted wonderland, sorry it took so long as I wanted to take my time since Silver is one of my favorite characters in TWST. 

That aside lets take a deeper look of the knight of dreams (fair warning there is some chapter 7 spoilers)

𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚

It there is anything to note about Silver is his love for him family, this includes Lilia, Sebek and Malleus. It is noted that Silver has a deep care for his family members throughout multiple stories, such has when Silver found out about not being related to Lila by blood and he ran off into the woods. 

It is shown that Silver hardly gets frustrated or lashes out at any of his family members which also includes Sebek, who often points out silver flaws or the fact he was abandoned at birth. If anything Silver treats Sebek as if he is a younger brother to him, even being quoted saying “It wouldn’t be incorrect to assume we are brothers” (Silver birthday boy story). 

Although he does care about his family, Silver also feels indebted to them. In his Halloween story, Silver becomes worried of the thought of Lilia or Malleus passing away or going separate ways with them. As he only ever saw his life as to be serving them until he passes on. This is also mention in chapter 7 as Silver breaks down into tears about Lilia dying and how he has never done anything to help him or give back.

This brings up the possibly that Silver feels guilty for everything Lilia gave him and never being able to give anything in return and here he is about to lose his father at a young age. 

This can be boiled down even more to the fact Silver most likely doesn’t care for himself a lot but that will be touched on later.

𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑

One of Silver’s biggest character traits is his habit of fall asleep, lots of people tend to assume Silver is fine with this. He really isn’t.

Having a whole lab story about trying to get rid of his sleeping spells which have been annoying him. Silver tries a lot of different ways of keeping himself awake, such as drinking coffee, using a pressure cooker as a alarm clock and such. 

He becomes so frustrated with his sleeping spells that he starts to blame himself for why its happening to him and that he should be doing better then this. Even though its pointed out many times in the story that Silver has no control over this.

This brings up the point of Silver has a tendencies to blame himself for inconveniences that happen to him or others around him. This can be tied to two things

1. Being raised as knight and having to live up to someone like Lilia

2. Having to hear Sebek harsh critics of him on a daily basis

Both being somewhat valid. The former being that Silver is only human being raised as a knight around fae and having a father such as Lilia to live up to. The latter being Silver and Sebek have known each other for 10 years and from the looks of it Sebek has always been critical about Silver performance as a knight and also about Silver falling asleep so much.

It wouldn’t be hard to say both have equally taken a toll on him

𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒓

Silver as himself is a point to cover as well, as I pointed out before Silver doesn’t seem to take care of himself. Physically or Emotionally. Physically speaking he lets his hair grown out to the point it annoys him then he cuts it. Vil even had to gift him skincare and hair care stuff for his birthday. On the more extreme side Silver is willing to lay down his life.

He is willing to lay down his life for Malleus who is a very powerful fae who can handle his own (Malleus is so powerful that his emotions alone change the weather drastically). Silver doesn’t seem to have a grasp of this concept as he is ready to protect Malleus no matter what, even though he is human.

Emotional when Silver heard about Lilia leaving them Silver doesn’t seem to show frustration at the beginning it was mostly Sebek until the going away party. It seemed to be too much for Silver and he got upset and left the party to find Malleus. Thats were he lets out everything and went into a crying fit.

As much as Silver doesn’t show emotions it also seems like he lets it build up until he can’t handle it anymore. More so over he doesn’t know how to deal with everything that was happening to him.

𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒓

Silver is known for being one of the nicer students at NRC (not saying others aren’t) I find that its quite surprising that he is kind to others and willing to hear others out. Given the fact the fae in the Valley of thrones weren’t accepting of humans.

This is prove by the fact that Sebek and Silver were each others only friends, this also comes with the fact they are both human. Even then Sebek was still a ass to Silver.

I just want to put this out cause i find it enduring the Silver can have such a positive look at life despite what he probably has been through.

“Not particularly. There is good in everything.” - Silver

𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏

We have come to the end and I hope you learned something new about Silver or have a new look on his character. As always likes, reblogs and comments are always welcome, I hope you all have a amazing Easter.

-Dante

[celestial--sapphic]

Get to know Evelyn Caddel: Auror

Read below the cut for my VERY LONG brainrot about Evelyn and her career as an Auror 💥

You can read more about my MC in general HERE 🐍

I also wrote about her love of Quidditch 🧹

She signs up to Auror training with Natty as soon as they get their N.E.W.T results in the summer after they finish their seventh year.

It was a pretty nervous wait for her exam results, knowing she needed at least Exceeds Expectations (E) grades in all her subjects to meet the entry requirements needed to get onto the training programme. Thankfully she comes out with Outstanding (O) grades in Beasts, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts and Exceeds Expectations in Potions and Astronomy.

They officially started their training in October 1893 and Evelyn's dream of being Head Auror by the time she was 30 is underway. 

She and Natty shared an unassuming Georgian terrace house in Cannonbury Square in Islington, London alongside three other trainees during their training period. You can see an 1896 map of the area here and a picture of what Islington was like in 1899 here. 

The property faces out onto the green space in the centre of the square and Evelyn enjoyed sitting on one of the benches after a particularly difficult day, closing her eyes and listening to the noisy chatter of the magpies in the trees. 

Sebastian was a regular visitor to their house in Cannonbury Square. Sebastian, who was training to be a healer at St Mungo’s, often conveniently stopped by around dinnertime and always graciously accepted Natty’s offer to make him up a plate of whatever they were having and join them. After a few weeks of this Natty realises it is not the food he is coming for but their pretty blonde housemate who he always found a way to sit next to at the table. Evelyn can’t help but laugh at Natty’s wounded expression when she says “I thought he just really enjoyed my ifisashi and rice”. 

Poppy stays at the house for a few days at a time every other week before heading back to gran’s cottage in Sussex – where she is living whilst undertaking an apprenticeship in Beast Division in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Poppy spends more time out and about on assignments than in the office – which suits her just fine – so she didn’t see the point in moving to London full-time.  

It is a bit weird for Evelyn and Poppy not to have access to the complete privacy of the Room of Requirement anymore and be sharing such close space with four other people. It is particularly embarrassing when they thought they had the house to themselves one afternoon only for Natty to awkwardly ask Evelyn when they make dinner that evening if she and Poppy could use a silencing charm in future, as she had been trying to have a nap. 

As a pretty determined person, Evelyn throws everything she has into the training course but does not realise quite how much of a toll it is taking on her – and how little she looking after herself – until she passes out during a stealth exercise. Poppy is, of course, frantic when she gets an owl from Natty telling her that her girlfriend ended up in St Mungo's and asking her to return from her work trip in Cornwall to talk some sense into Evelyn about making time for rest and relaxation. 

After that, Natty makes sure she sees Evelyn eating both breakfast and dinner and drinking water every single day. 

The intensity training programme combined with Poppy's apprenticeship sending her all over the country put a serious strain on Evelyn and Poppy’s relationship and they briefly split up in the spring of 1894. They get back together after a few miserable weeks where Evelyn mopped around the house and only left to go to training at the Ministry. 

When they qualify, Evelyn and Natty are disappointed to find they are often given the department’s paperwork to fill in and file and when they are given assignments they are low level ones  – pub fights in Diagon Alley and the like.  

“You can’t expect them to put newly qualified Aurors on the hunt for the most dangerous witches and wizards in the world, Evelyn.” Poppy tells her, which Evelyn just grumbles at. 

Evelyn’s first big assignment comes 18 months after she qualifies as an Auror. She is part of the team covering the security of the French Minister for Magic during a diplomatic visit to the British Ministry. She knows something is wrong when she is one-on-one with a colleague who opens the door for her with his left hand, a hand he had injured a couple of weeks prior and lost much of his grip strength in. One skirmish and calls for backup later revealed her colleague was actually a known dark wizard using polyjuice potion to moonlight as her colleague – who it turns out had been captured and was being held hostage. The wizard planned to assassinate the French Minister for Magic and pin the blame on the British Ministry for Magic; no doubt which would have caused unparalleled diplomatic fall out.  

She praised by both Ministry’s for her initiative in halting the assassination and The Daily Prophet and French newspapers both front page interviews with her. 

Evelyn doesn’t meet her teenage goal of being Head Auror by the time she is 30 but is happy enough working as a Lead Auror and oversees a team of 10 junior Aurors. Uncovering secret poaching and beast trafficking rings and seeing those involved punished is a cause she is particularly passionate about; owing to her wife’s work with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. 

In her late fifties, she steps away from her work as an Auror and takes up the position of professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, often telling her students stories of her most dangerous and thrilling cases.

[jihoonmk]

so, this is probably the latest i've ever been with an intro post (a week? i think....) anywho! it's just me, jiwoo's mun here with a 2nd (but not really a new muse, just bring life back to a muse who has actually lived a few times before and i have a special attachment to hehehe). meet kang jihoon, my sweet boy with quite a bit of trauma (which i won't get into here much + will make sure to use tw's as needed!).

he's my black bird manipulation baby who just wants to fit in and feel like he belongs somewhere. he can also do a bit of dream walking, but he's sort of afraid to use his minor ability due to the risks of it (listed on his profile).

anyway, i'll list below a few things to know about him for plotting purposes so if you'd like to plot with this boy here feel free to like this post and i'll slide into your dm's! (i will be getting to jiwoo's stuff tomorrow, i promise i haven't forgotten anyone. it's just been a really hectic week. ;;). of course i also have a discord but that's only available upon request if it's easier for you to plot there! ^^

things to know:

jihoon is from Melbourne, Australia where he previously lived with his mother and father (who was, and still is, completely unaware of this magical world that jihoon is a part of and he would very much like to keep it as a secret from the man for as long as he possibly can).

family death tw: his mother sadly passed away when he was 17 years old, leaving behind only jihoon and his father. her death took a major toll on not only jihoon, but his father as well (taking her death extremely hard to the point where he began to change after).

jihoon isn't exactly close to his father, even more so after everything that happened when it just became the two of them. it's part of the reason why he managed to 'train himself' to be 'invisible' in others' presences and learned to keep to himself when in rooms with other people.

abuse tw/alcohol tw/family death tw: after his mother's death, jihoon's father began drinking uncontrollably. it got so bad to the point that he began drunkenly taking his sorrow/anger out on jihoon, often beating him to make himself 'feel better' while dealing with the death of his wife. jihoon learned over time to just stay still and take the beatings that he received, knowing that if he tried to stop his father, run away, or even begged him to stop then the beatings would only get worse. eventually the man fled Australia and moved to busan in order to evade any of his wife's family, running out of excuses as to why they couldn't check up on jihoon and see how he was managing after his mother's passing.

the day that an elder visited jihoon, thankfully his father was too 'out of it' and passed out on the bedroom floor to even notice any visitors. this day was the one day that gave jihoon the slightest bit of hope of even having some sort of 'happiness' in his life. a life away from the not-so-perfect life that he has at home with his father.

it took quite a bit of convincing to finally get his father to agree and let him leave busan to go to 'seoul', telling the man that he would have a better 'job' opportunity there and that he'd be able to give the man even more money. thus giving jihoon the chance to get away from the man and more or less go into hiding where he could start a new life for himself in jeju.

it's only when jihoon arrives in jeju that he realizes he had never been on his own before, making him even more nervous and aware of his own surroundings. even after starting his studies, he mainly kept to himself and would be known as that one kid in the back of the class. the kid that was always so quiet and didn't have many friends, despite others actually trying to approach him to befriend him.

even now, in his junior year, jihoon has very few friends and mostly keeps to himself. he works in order to feed himself, is one of those students that always turns his work in on time, and can even be found gazing up at the starts most nights while lost in his own thoughts. no one really knows what's going on inside that head of his, and it seems that his only 'friend' is his companion (aside from the few that managed to break through those walls he had previously built up around himself).

[call-sign-shark]

Hey friend come, sit by the cozy fireplace inside of my cabin mansion and listen to my red talk(I call it red talk instead of Ted talk to avoid copyright infringement but don’t tell the communists that 😉)

Anyways, it’s currently 4:37 am in the morning so if i don’t answer back then I’m probably asleep. As I was saying, I wanted to ask that as you will someday soon produce future chapters of the heaven x auther series since you said that your series would go all the way up to season 5 would you add one significant moment where tommy is trading with the Chinese and has Polly and auther take a vote to keep the opium in small heath temporarily for the Chinese to find another way to sell it. I feel like if you were to add it, it would play a huge part in heaven and auther’s challenge as wife and husband however I can understand why you would not want to add it in would be because it would be overused and would get old but hey I’m a masochist so don’t be afraid to hold back.

Another thing I wanted to say is that I can’t wait for you to have Linda and heaven meet because it would be so good and it would be really fun to see because a part of me wants to see a cat fight but a part of me knows that both have their strengths and weaknesses. Linda has a nack for manipulating people that are vulnerable like auther was and having him under her hand by using Christianity as a veil to cover up for her narcissistic tendencies. She also is (I think masterful in economics and how to rally up women to fight for a cause for I believe is for the fun of it. Her weakness is when she hates when people are way smarter than her (I think) and also despises when people use violence to get what they want. I also think she likes diminishing peoples trauma and using their past against them to her advantage so to feel some kind of moral ground. Now as for heaven, her strength comes with a nack for violence when the people she cares about her hurt or are in danger. She also has a huge advantage by having powers as a witch to kill them. She also knows when to read the room and listens to people’s passions as well as being able to bring people back to life and loving children. She also understands how ptsd has a really big impact on people and how it can bleed into their lives she supports people’s aspirations and Dreams. She also has white hair which is a bonus 😌

She would make a great mother as well and she even acknowledges that her past really effected her and how she tries not to grieve to much as it can take a toll on one’s psychological development. I would really like to see how Linda reacts when she sees auther genuinely happy and healthy without her and how he doesn’t really need to go to heaven when he has her in his arms. And I can’t wait for heaven to put her in her place and I would love to see how smart they really are against each other.

Thanks for coming to my red talk

Jovin, thank you for your Red Talk. Please keep them going because they give me life I swear! 😬 Sorry for taking so long to reply but it’s a dense topic to address. Fasten your seat belts because it’s going to be a wild ride.

• First let me answer to your question about Heaven in Your Eyes’ plot: The Chinese and opium plot are obviously going to be addressed. Now the more time passes, the more I think about adding one Act to the series to cover season 6. But I will obviously completely rewrite the plot, such as Arthur’s role since he wouldn’t be a useless junkie in this version. Moreover you’re definitely right about the whole opium trade being a challenge for Heaven and Arthur’s marriage.

• Now about Linda. The women are definitely going to encounter each other at one point in the story. Something I didn’t mention is that they already met a few times prior to the divorce since she attend the masses in the same church in which Heaven sometimes went. As you justly said, they both have strengths and weaknesses… Even if I have to mention that readers sometimes might portray Heaven a bit too nicer than what she actually is. While not being particularly hostile and having a kind side, she can be a bratty, mean and sassy bitch. Moreover, I am delighted you mention her nack for violence ‘cause that’s definitely one of the things that distinguish her from Linda. While she’s more manipulative, Heaven rather use physical violence and threats to reach her goals. And I agree with your, white hair is a bonus teehee. 🖤 But yeah, Linda and Heaven facing each other is going to be super interesting, especially since Linda isn’t stupid, quite the contrary she’s smart as fuck… But no spoil! What I can say though is that Heaven won’t physically harm her if she doesn’t threaten Arthur or becomes an obstacle. Simply because she knows that seeing Arthur genuinely happy will hurt more than any physical wound.

Surprisingly enough, as a spectator of the show, I don’t particularly despise her character. I even think she has some great scenes. Especially when she mimics Tommy and says “Arthur, can’t you control your wife?” That line is definitely Heaven-coded.

Anyway! You can’t count on mommy bear Heaven to put her in her place if she needs to! 🤭 But Linda isn’t going to be easy to defeat. (+ look at her adorable face! How can she lose the fight?)

Heaven is Reader in Heaven in Your Eyes here, an Arthur Shelby x You story.

[fay-run]

3 + 6 for your durge character? :)

3. Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

rhea would be picked up as a companion right there on the beach, staring longingly at one of the corpses < 3 so if you decide to recruit her, she should be with you for every companion you recruit afterward. though her and shadowheart connect later, she is wary of her at first, due to how similar they are. they both are reserved and withdrawn, and not willing to talk about themselves. she decides that if her reason for this is because she secretly wants to kill everyone she sees, shadowhearts reason can't be very good either.

she doesn't have much to say about astarion at first. to her, hes just some uppity, obnoxious man who will probably get himself killed whether he joins them or not. when astarion pulls a knife on the pc, rhea actually laughs at him. she doesn't see him as dangerous at all.

wyll she is 100% on board with recruiting. she hopes allying herself with someone as good-aligned as the blade of frontiers will keep her in check. gale shes indifferent to, but she thinks it'll be good to have a mage on their team, and mentions that. karlach is way too loud for her, but the proof of how good of a fighter she is is all around them. the only companion she really objects to recruiting is halsin (after reaching moonrise and curing the shadowcurse). i don't have a good reason for this. she just doesn't care for halsin.

if you decide to recruit minthara, she'll mention that the drow looks eerily familiar. this is because they likely passed each other once or twice at moonrise.

6. Do they have any secrets that can be revealed? What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?

this is a doozy of a question for durge. spoilers for act 3 in the second paragraph.

in the beginning, she tries to keep her urges from the rest of the group. she does successfully hide alfira's body, so she essentially gets away with her murder. but after that, she turns into a nervous wreck. constantly panicking over what they'd do to her if they found out what she was, trying her hardest to both control her urges and hide the fact that they're even there from her companions. eventually this blows up in her face, and she brutally kills gandrel (the gur hunter), because her twisted mind sees the fact that he's there to kidnap astarion as an excuse. once she comes to, she is 1000% convinced the others(besides astarion) will either kill or abandon her; either out of fear or because they see her as an unnecessary risk. to her surprise, they do neither. instead they listen to her, and vow to aid her in her fight against whatever this thing is. if she were a companion, this is where the pc would have the option to either accept her and vow to help her, send her away from the camp, or kill her. at this point in the story shes so lost and scared and self-loathing, if the pc decides to kill her she won't even try to fight back. its not like she hadn't thought of doing it herself a thousand times since killing alfira.

as for her other secrets... the thing is, she doesn't remember these secrets. the first one: the fact that shes a bhaalspawn, comes to her in a dream. she only tells astarion and shadowheart at first, but jaheira knows without being told (this is canon, you can watch the durge/jaheira scene on youtube). jaheira convinces her to tell the others, both for their own safety and to solidify their trust in her. which she will absolutely need, because when they meet gortash, it is revealed that she was originally the mastermind behind the entire absolutist plot. pretty much everything they've endured is the result of her past selfs actions. this takes a heavier toll on her relationship with the party, especially with karlach. this is another point in the story where the pc can accept her, abandon her, or try to kill her. at this point, she has been fighting long enough that she won't just let you kill her, you will enter combat.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 36)

We're picking up now after a very dramatic and tragic event has taken place. Despite everything the story has built up to so far and everything it will continue to claim moving forward, literally NOTHING that happens matters at all.

<- Prev Next ->

Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven

Mikan has used the very last of her power to insert the stones into Natsume’s body. She again faints from exhaustion, but she comes to rather quickly, and her first concern is Natsume. She looks up at his face, probably hoping to find his eyes opening or him making some kind of sound to signal that he’s alive, but there’s no change.

Mikan is in despair. She gave up everything and it still wasn’t enough. She even asks out loud how come nothing changed. This was supposed to fix him, to bring him back to her. THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GO ON DATES AND GET MARRIED. They can’t do that if he’s dead!

Subaru orders Sakurano to teleport Natsume to the hospital, and while they start teleporting, Mikan continues to cry, asking what’s wrong with him, why he isn’t getting better, and insisting that she wants to come too. 

This sucks!

She doesn’t want to leave him, but more importantly, she doesn’t want him to leave her. Natsume underestimated her love for him. He told her he’d never give her stone back, that she was his forever, even if she came to hate him. But she’s his forever, even if he dies, even if he breaks all his promises. He was supposed to never leave her, but now he is. Sakurano and Subaru are taking him away, and she might never see him again.

Hotaru feels guilt. She pleaded with Natsume to stay behind in the first place, to save Mikan, when he was on his way back to safety. Her tranquilizer spider might have also helped to kill him.

So she grabs Mikan’s hands and promises that Natsume will be okay. He will come back to her. She pleads with Mikan not to give up. 

Hotaru doesn’t tend to say empty words. She doesn’t make grand promises without intending on fulfilling them. If she is telling Mikan that Natsume will be fine, then that means more to Mikan than anyone else’s promises. If Hotaru says so, it must be true.

Hotaru rushes to Noda and although she seems to be speaking loudly, I don’t think Mikan can hear what she says… otherwise it kinda defeats the point. So Mikan doesn’t know that Hotaru and Noda are acting in the effort of putting on an “act” to save Natsume, just to hold Mikan over until she leaves the academy. If Mikan has just a little bit of hope, then maybe she’ll be okay. Because right now, with her parents’ deaths still so fresh, Mikan will be devastated by another loss. She might not recover.

Good-bye, forever!

The last Mikan sees of Hotaru and Natsume is them disappearing into space-time for a moment, with Hotaru giving her a meaningful look. She knows that Hotaru will fulfill her promise. She can count on her.

She has hope.

She faints once more, since she has expelled so much of her alice--which we know is a physically taxing ordeal--and because emotional exhaustion can take a physical toll. It makes sense she’d pass out. Mikan wakes up a little, but doesn’t move too much, always crying, just to hear Luna’s heartfelt apology.

Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Eight

Mikan, completely exhausted and miserable, can’t even force a smile at this point, though I bet she wishes she could. She tells Luna that she’s happy for her, that she and her mom can make up now. She keeps crying, but she wishes the best for Luna. Then her thoughts devolve into Natsume, Natsume, Natsume.

Mikan means it when she tells Luna that it's good she finally made up with Yuka, but she can't smile. She doesn't have the physical or emotional energy to pretend right now.

And who can blame her? Her fiance is dead! Maybe? Maybe he’ll come back! But for now he’s dead. And even though other things are happening, that’s all she can really care about.

She faints again, dreaming of him.

But even though they’re on the same page, they’re on opposite corners. Reaching for each other, but not at all close enough to touch. She can’t reach him. He can’t reach her. He’s too far away now, even farther away than when she was locked up in the tower. 

A week passes and Mikan wonders about Natsume and Hotaru’s whereabouts. She tells us that all she ever thinks about, night and day, is whether Natsume is still alive. She is consumed by worry and grief and heartbreak. But she wants to believe Hotaru’s promise that Natsume will be okay. But in the meantime, she’s not smiling. Who could be happy in this state? She has no alice, her best friend is missing, and her boyfriend might be dead. It’s not a particularly cheerful situation.

She is now at a staff hearing, to see what will become of her now that her alice is gone. She knows she will have to leave the school. She’ll have to leave all her friends and family that she’s gotten to know here and go back home. Even if Natsume survives, she’ll never see him. But she knows that. She knew it when she gave up her alice in the hopes of saving Natsume. That’s the price she has to pay. That’s just how it is. 

What she is not expecting is to hear that every memory of her time in the Academy will be erased on top of that.

She starts to cry again. All of her memories? All of them? Of all the people she knew? Her parents? Her friends? Natsume? They’ll all be gone? All she had was this hope for Hotaru’s promise, this last grain of faith that things might turn out okay, that she might have her happy ending and her forever with Natsume, even after she leaves the Academy. Wait? She can wait! She’ll wait forever if she has to! But now she’s being told that even that last dreg of hope is lost. She’ll lose her memories and she’ll never get them back. Her life at the Academy and everything that comes with it--including forever with Natsume--is gone. 

(What a pointless storyline.)

She starts screaming. Hasn’t she lost enough? She pleads with the staff not to take her memories of everyone, not to take her hope of Natsume away. Because it was all she had--just the idea that she could wait, that she could bide her time until graduation came around and then look for Natsume until they were reunited. Hotaru’s promise was all she had left and now she doesn’t even have that anymore. Natsume will be gone from her life for good. That’s essentially what she’s being told.

I cling so much to her tantrums in this arc. They're all I have.

It was all for nothing. (Just like everything else! Including this plotline. Guh.)

Narumi uses his alice successfully on her for the first and last time, to calm her down. He tries to explain that she’ll be in danger if they don’t erase her memories, that this is for her own safety and protection now that she’s no longer an alice. He assures her that they had considered multiple alternatives, but this still ended up being the best, safest, and most viable choice for everyone involved. 

She knows he’s being honest, that he’s her ally and wouldn’t lie about this. She'd promised early in the story to trust him and believe in him, and she's never faltered in that before this point, and even now she has no choice but to believe him.

But that means there really isn’t anything to be done, that this is a done deal and that she will lose Natsume forever.

Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine

Four months after Mikan had to leave her friends to hide away in the labyrinth, she is back in class. She reunites with everyone, a huge smile on her face. This is not the same Mikan we saw last chapter, who was grim and sullen and despairing. One might immediately assume that maybe Mikan has found some sort of hope or comfort to ease her pain right now, but that would be misled. 

Ruka rejoices that Mikan is still upbeat and cheerful, that she hasn’t changed at all since everything that happened. Ruka notes that he and the rest of the class are still upset about the uncertainty of Natsume’s condition and Hotaru’s whereabouts, but Mikan’s cheer gives them the drive to be positive too, even though their time with her is running out. 

She's a hero for pretending, I guess. (That was sarcastic. No child should have to pretend like this.)

The thing is, though, that Mikan is not actually happy. She is not cheerful or upbeat inside. In fact, her last hope was recently crushed and destroyed. She is dreading her future, missing Natsume, worrying about Hotaru, frightened about the prospect of losing her memories of all her friends… She’s just not showing it in front of the others. She’s keeping her misery to herself. When she’s on her own, she thinks of these concerns, but when she’s around her classmates, she smiles.

She tells them that she’s cried enough, which is silly because there’s no such thing. That’s not how tears work. She frets about looking pathetic, about being despairing and hopeless and miserable--always crying. She wants people to remember her smiling and happy, so she will smile until the end, even though she doesn’t feel that way inside.

I HATE THIS. 

Like I said before, there is a difference between a character’s thoughts and feelings, their arc, and the story’s narrative. In my opinion, this is a deeply unhealthy and tragic character devolution. Mikan started this story as an upbeat and cheerful girl, but she didn’t consider herself personally responsible for everyone’s happiness. Over the course of the manga, Mikan’s crushing insecurities became heavier and heavier, that stressed value of her smile looming over her, overshadowing every other thing she has to offer. We are now at the part where Mikan’s feelings don’t matter to her at all--instead, she must push aside her misery and mourning to comfort her friends. Her friends, being children, find this a relief because a crying and traumatized girl can be a lot to handle, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. In fact, it’s pretty clearly not!

How interesting that this scene takes place on a balcony, with her looking out at the night sky, at the moon. But because, she's surrounded by people, she smiles here. When she's by herself, she cries.

Emotions don’t work the way Mikan describes here. I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe anything that happens to you is simply meant to happen to you, and that there is a set amount of tears you can cry. Sometimes a lot of bad happens to you, and it feels like it’s too much. Then something good happens, just to be followed by another bad thing. That’s just how life is. It’s a medley. It’s cliche at this point, but Forrest Gump was right--life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get. 

And it’s certainly not how crying works! Crying is a biological function that helps us process our emotions. There’s a chemical reason why you feel better after crying. Tears of sadness are chemically unique from tears of joy or tears of eye irritation. Crying doesn’t necessarily heal your pain, but you can imagine it works kinda like a scab, your body’s effort to help close a wound. Mikan refusing to cry anymore (at least in front of her friends) isn’t doing her any favors. 

I’m a big proponent of crying, in any case. I’m not impressed by people who boast about never crying. I find that concerning. Yeah, no wonder you’re miserable. You’re holding it all inside. Repression has never helped anybody.

And again, it'd be easy to give Higuchi credit for writing such a complex emotional situation here, but I don't think she did it on purpose. I think her intent was to further elevate Mikan, to further emphasize her wonderful personality. What Mikan does causes her suffering, but it's ultimately the right thing to do, according to the narrative. What a terrible message to give a demographic of primarily young kids!

In any case, Mikan’s class is having a lesson of memories, where everyone will talk about their favorite memories with Mikan as a tribute to her before she leaves. Mikan beams, and I think her happiness here is genuine, as she’s sincerely touched by her classmates’ and teacher’s efforts to remember and treasure her. My opinion isn’t that Mikan has no good experiences after losing Natsume, but that her insistence on hiding all her bad feelings isn’t healthy. 

The next scene we have of Mikan is pretty vital to my feelings about where her character is right now emotionally. Mikan has been sleeping over at different people’s rooms, to relish the little time she has left with her friends. Tonight, she’ll be sleeping in Natsume’s room. Her classmates urge her to sleep over with them, or tease her for being a pervert, and she smiles it all off, until the door shuts, they’re all gone, and Mikan is alone.

It's chilling, how you can almost hear the sudden and stark silence after all the light-hearted shenanigans. And all the happy pretending comes to a shrieking halt. This is how Mikan really feels.

The mood instantly shifts.

Mikan stands by herself in Natsume’s large, lonely room, approaching his balcony, and then she starts to cry. 

When Mikan was in the labyrinth, she would often go to the balcony at night, listening to Natsume telepathically calling out for her, comforted by his voice, searching for him. She can't hear him now. She won't find him looking for her below. She won't see him climbing up the side of the building to reach her. Not ever again.

What Mikan needs is comfort, but she doesn’t let anyone in class do that for her. She instead pretends that she’s fine and saves her sadness for when she’s all alone. This scene always reminds me of 95, when Mikan cries about Tsubasa's disappearance, but only when everyone else is gone. She cries on her own until Natsume comes in through the window to comfort her, to embrace her. Natsume has always been one of her biggest comforts, capable of cheering her up no matter how badly she felt. He was her sunshine and now he's gone. The one person who could definitely comfort her right now is the one person she fears she'll never see again.

This scene reveals more than any other that Mikan is still just as depressed as she’d been before. Nothing has changed. She’s just pretending for everyone else’s sake now. 

A few pages ago she was looking at the same sky, on a balcony, looking at the same moon, and yet she was smiling. No she's crying because there's nobody to pretend for. She can let herself feel.

She misses Natsume, remembering his request that she wait for him, and his promise to save her. She stares at the moon, the only witness to their Christmas rendezvous, the only one who remembers now. She asks him how long she’s supposed to wait. This isn’t a testament to weak love, but to desperate love. She has very limited time left before her memories are erased forever. She doesn’t want to never see him again. She doesn’t want him to die. That means he needs to hurry up and come back as soon as possible. 

She’s still constantly thinking of him, worrying about him, worrying about her memories. “Anguish, love… Will it all fade away?” 

Though one might assume forgetting anguish would be a relief, Mikan worries about it. The anguish is the consequence of her love, and that’s not something she’s willing to forget. She was prepared to love him for the rest of her life, to marry him and be with him forever. She’s not just concerned about forgetting him but of losing the love that she has for him. It’s not something she is willing to part with.

“All the things Natsume has given me, my beloved, are my treasures.” Natsume has given her a lot, but there’s very little left that’s concrete. He’s given her memories that will soon be erased, alice stones that she inserted into him in vain, the misery of widowhood that might flicker away after her last day, and the overflowing feelings of love that she wanted to last forever. She doesn’t want to lose any of it because everything Natsume made her feel--good and bad--is something precious to her. 

She goes to bed and pleads with him to stay alive, to not leave her. For most of the manga, as I’ve discussed to death, Mikan has feared one thing more than any other, and that has been losing Natsume. She now has, and the only hope she has left is that he will return to her before she leaves for good. 

Her calling Natsume "my beloved" means a lot to me.

To me, this scene demonstrates Mikan’s pretense, that most--if not all--of her smiles are forced and hiding a deep despair that she refuses to share with her friends out of the concern that her sadness is a burden on them. They could all probably benefit from mutual comfort right now, but she’s not even considering that. She won’t cry with them. Only by herself, in Natsume’s room, staring at the moon that symbolizes promises that never came to fruition.

Conclusion

The balcony scene is one of my favorite Mikan scenes, actually, because it feels genuine and gives her some credit. I don't need to see her smiling all the time. Just like Natsume's smiles always stand out to me, Mikan letting herself feel negative emotions stands out to me. I love analyzing her less pretty moments, her misery, her rage, her grief. Natsume's smiles remind us he's human, the same way Mikan's anger and sadness remind us she's not just a beam of sunlight. They're both so much more than they put off.

I'll keep posting! Four more parts, I imagine, and then I'll be done. I hope the upcoming parts are a good read, if nothing else. They'll probably be pretty short. Thanks for reading!

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[duchess-marie]

10 things I like about you

Wow... It has been a while since I last wrote my blog and I apologize for that since this semester has took its toll on me, literally both the fold and academics. Yup, the sorority is back on its feet with the upcoming event on Feb Fair next year and my production on a core subject is fucking going on probably.

Let's start where this blog is going shall we?

I never thought this would happen, like again and why fucking now? At first I thought he was the perfect walking red flag but in the past few days and weeks of watching him well rehearse his parts on the play makes it even harder to hate him. I hated my crushies and I hated that it's coming back all because of him.

I was like NO, been there last semester and I am never going back there again. But alas, I cannot resist it. This adorable douchebag find away to charm me in the most closeted way haha... Does that make sense? Maybe in my books since I am a literal hopeless romantic girl.

Anyway, here's 10 things I like about him; (My take on"10 things I hate about you" opposite haha)

I like your smile. So kissable haha

I like how timid you act sometimes

I like how innocent you feel whenever your in character

I like how your eyes shone whenever the directs complimented your acting skills

I like how helpful you can be

I like it whenever one of my committee members talk to you, I get to butt in and had a chance to talk to you

I liked how you whispered in my ear from the very first busking our prod did and said, "Gusto nyo hiramin yung really big speaker ko?" (Ughh, the hairs in my neck stood up and felt chills in my spine since you were standing behind me)

I like how ridiculously tall you are. The difference of our height is what I love the most and how much I wish I could just hug you and let you be mine.

I like it whenever you smile and wave at me or us (whenever we passed by you along with my friends), my heart just stopped for a minute and at that moment I want to hold your hand and never let go.

Lastly, I hated that you will never be mine and the thought of knowing you belong to someone else hurts more since this is only a dream.

A dream I wish never get to wake up to. I still dream about him at night, dreaming that we're together, wishing I could call him mine and wishing I was his as well. I always wonder how would it feel like to be wrapped around on those strong and muscular arms but then again those will never get to come true.

I wish I never liked him in the first place but god, why does he have to be so devilishly handsome?

This is the first time in my life that I finally found somebody that could meet my standards, since I'm a romantic book girlie, he met those standards. The sad part about it is that I can only love him in close doors and get to watch him from afar (not in a creepy way of course haha).

Lord, help me with this. I liked him so much it hurts.

Fuck the crushies :))

[fugos-lil-fork]

Do you have any headcanons for the Bucci Gang with a s/o that constantly has nightmares? :")

Naaah, cuz I can definitely relate to that. I have somniphobia bc of the nightmares I get actually 💀 Word of advice!; Try to pay attention to what you eat right before you go to sleep! I know it sounds silly, but certain foods you eat are known to trigger nightmares. However, those foods vary from person to person, obviously, not everyone had the same trigger(s)! But, anyways! I gotchu! Ty very much for ur request! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

~➗🍓🍊🐞⏳🔫🤐~

Bucci Gang with S/O who has constant nightmares!

Abbacchio;

He completely understands how you feel

He's definitely struggled with nightmares ever since... Well, you know...

He tries his best to really just be there for you, y'know?

When you wake up after a nightmare he's always there to comfort you

He holds you tight

Reminds you that whatever you dreamed about wasn't real

That he's there for you and always will be there for you

He's not really sure how to help you with your nightmares

Hell, he doesn't really believe he is helping you despite how many times you reassure him that he does in fact help you out

He, himself, had never really handled his nightmares problem

He just kinda got used to sucking them up and pretending like they didn't take a toll on him

But, obviously, he doesn't want you to do the same

So, every time you wake up he always make sure to ask you about your dreams

Even if it seemed like nothing was wrong that whole night

He wants to make extra sure that you, for once, got a comfortable sweet dream

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Bruno;

He worries a lot about your constant nightmares

No person can deal with such a thing without it taking a toll on them

Of course, he's always there for you when you wake up from one

Hugging you, reminding you that it was just a dream

Whispering sweet nothings into you

Placing soft, comforting kisses on your head and forehead as he gently holds you

But he knows those are just quick fixes to something that's so obviously constantly troubling you

So, he'll begin to find daily solutions to your nightmares

Maybe setting a bedtime routine

And switching it up to see what helps you sleep better at night

He'll even do it with you! You're both in this together!

He makes it very clear that you'll never have to deal with this alone ever again

And no matter how long it'll takes, he'll help you find a way to help you sleep better

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Mista;

He's so ready to help you out

This man is so laid back and relax

He genuinely thinks he could "train you" to relax and let go of your nightmares-

As silly as how his goal sounds when worded like that

He does give genuine suggestions that could help with relaxing before going to bed

Recommending that you do some light stretches

Maybe some meditation?

Hell, why not try the old classic trick of warm milk?

However, even if that doesn't work

The man is always there to comfort you as well if you do end up waking up due to a nightmare

He holds you so protectively

And reassure your that he's right there with you

That he'll always protect you no matter from what or from who

He even offers to try to do something else instead of going back to sleep

Simply to help you calm down more and so you don't have to force yourself to go back to sleep

He definitely wouldn't mind to go on a 3 am run to get some snacks from a nearby store if it'll help you clear out your head for a bit-

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Narancia;

P a n i c

At first, he isn't really sure how to help

He definitely still deals with nightmares as well from his time on the streets and his mother's passing

Though, he's definitely gotten good at basically shaking them off throughout the day and forgetting about them

He's hesitant about it

Obviously, he wants to help but he doesn't really think he could be much of help

After all, he realizes his way of dealing with nightmares isn't the healthiest and therefore is something he definitely doesn't want for you

But he's just so clueless as to how to help

Eventually though, it kind of just comes natural to him

Sure, he might not know how to help in the big picture

But whenever you do have a nightmare, he's always there by your side

He tries his best to give you physical affection and comforting reassurance that's he's never going to leave you much less let something or someone hurt you

He does his best to make you smile again and helping you feel better by telling jokes or silly stories as well!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Fugo;

Oh, how much he could relate

Fugo's nightmares seem never ending as well

So, once he realized you dealt with the same problem as him, he was completely heartbroken for you

He knows very well how painful it is to deal with constant nightmares

And so, he makes it his mission to do everything within his power to help you

This boy dives in deep for you

Literally analyzing you, to your comfort, trying to get to the root of the problem

Reading and researching endlessly for answers

If he realizes it's something he can't entirely handle on his own, he'll even try to contact doctors, therapists, specialists, literally anyone that could give an solution to your problems

But aside from all of that, of course he's always physically there for you right after you wake up from a nightmare

The poor boy even stays up to make sure you don't show signs that you are having a nightmare

And if you do, he makes sure to wake you up before it gets any worse

He hugs you, trying to be gentle but can't help but give some squeezes of reassurance here and there

Reminding you that it's all going to be okay and you're going to get the help you need with his help

Definitely reminds you that you're not alone and never will be

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Giorno;

He doesn't really understand at first

He's definitely had nightmares before but had become so used to them that he couldn't become upset at then anymore

He'd literally shove them away to the back of his head and would never acknowledge how bad they actually were

However, he could clearly see how negatively this was affecting you

And of course his instinct was to try to understand and help you

He tries to read a bit into how to lessen nightmares and get a better sleep

He's so attentive

Always paying close attention on whether your nightmares get better or worse based on what he suggests you try in order to get a better sleep

He even tried to grow lavenders in your bedroom to help you relax and get better rest

And he always listens

Whenever you have a nightmare, he's always hearing you out as to what happened in your nightmare

Constantly debunking the fictitious dream

And reassuring you of the reality

He was here for you

Always will

And he swears that he'll never let anything or anyone hurt you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Trish;

Ah, she feels for you as well

After what happened with Diavolo, she started developing constant nightmares

So, she constantly reminds you that she completely understands what you're going through

And that you're most definitely not alone

She tries to help you both by planning calming/comforting activities before going to bed

Such as a homemade spa of some sort

Or even just cuddling and watching some comforting movies you both love

Hoping that maybe you'll go to sleep with those happy feelings and your dreams will contain them

However, if that doesn't work, she tightly hugs you

Sometimes even cries with you

She knows how horrible it feels

She'll place soft kisses all over your face though

She really wants you to never forget that you're both in this together

And you'll pull through it, together

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[clouds-rambles]

Hey bestie may I request diluc,childe,zhongli,and venti having a bad nightmare over their s/o wanting to break up with them and when they wake up their s/o isn’t there but really they’re in another room or something if that makes sense!! Thank you 🤑

Hi bestie positively evil... i love it <3 nobody question why zhongli and the reader are married in all my headcanons thanks lmao

Pairings; (Seperate) Diluc, Childe, Zhongli, and Venti x reader

Warning(s); panic, nightmares, hurt/comfort, injury mention

Keep reading under the cut!

Diluc

Diluc wakes with a start, his brows furrowed as he takes a moment to arrange the events of his nightmare in his head

Both you and he had a particularly explosive argument after he had come back injured from a night protecting Mondstat 

You had left the winery after exclaiming that you refuse to date someone who has such a lack of regard for his own life. In the long run you’d be saving yourself from further heartbreak if he ended up dead on the front porch

Diluc wonders if dream you could be right...

The red-head finally notices the cold side of the bed you should be sleeping on. He more than remembers going to sleep with you

Panic sets in at the bottom of Dilucs stomach. He must be imagining things right? You’re probably just in the bathroom

A beat passes

Then three

No, you’re not in the bathroom. He would have heard you by now...

What if the dream was actually what had happened last night. A breath catches in the mans throat as he gets out of bed and throws a shirt on

If he couldn’t find you in his home has he truly lost you?

Diluc speedily walks through the halls of his home, checking the spare rooms, the study, the library, the living room, the dining room, the

Diluc opens the door to the kitchen his heart threatening to break out of his chest at the pace it’s beating when he finally spots you drinking a cup of tea, in your pajamas

Thank the archons it was just a dream

“Diluc, honey, are you okay?” you ask getting up from the table in the kitchen to your sweating, hyperventilating partner

Diluc says nothing but opts to hugging you, his head bowing to your chest as he breaths you in

“Diluc, you’re worrying me” you tell him returning his embrace and rubbing circles on his back

“You weren’t in bed” is all he offers to tell you. You don’t push him on the details of why he is so panicked

“I couldn’t sleep so I came down for a herbal tea” you explain kissing the man on his bed of fluffy hair “I have a cup left in the kettle, I can pour one out for you” you offer

“Please” he breathes, but doesn’t move to let you go from the embrace, you can stand to hold him and tell him sweet nothings for a little while. Tea can always be reheated

Childe

It would only be right, and he suspected as much. You had told him that because of what has recently transpired in Liyue you cannot find yourself to love a brutal harbinger

Maybe its for the best. Childe concludes not paying much attention to his weeping heart. Maybe, you’d be happier not to be under the constant eye and scrutiny of the Qixing, the Milleth, and the watchful eye of Childes own fatui informants

Without much pause form Childes last thought the man finds himself waking in his room, unsure if the dream was reality or his mind playing tricks on him, he feels your side of the bed and notices a distinct lack of warmth... and you

He cries

Childe curls himself up in a ball determined to not get caught by anyone showing such an extreme and out of character emotion, he let himself cry. He’s pretty sure he’s sobbing loudly but he doesn’t care. It’s just him in the house anyway. The one person that he doesn’t mind seeing such emotions has left him

That’s until he hears the distinct click of the bedroom door open “Oh my archon Childe, are you okay?” you ask quickly making your way to the side of his bed and placing a hand on his shoulder

The man looks up to you, he isn’t sure if you’re real 

“I thought-” he starts “I had a-” he tries to find his words without seeming like a crazed person “You weren’t-” 

“It’s okay babe, I’m right here. I’m not planning on going anywhere” you console “I just had an epiphany in my dream and I had to write it down” you add explaining your absence. Childe nods along 

“Stay” he tells you as you wipe the tears out of his eyes. You nod and hum

“Of course” you lay onto the bed and let Childe wrap himself around you

You hum him to sleep and whisper sweet nothings

Zhongli

‘I can’t love you anymore Zhongli, I feel obligated to come back to Liyue after every adventure, it’s starting to take a toll on me’

‘But our vows, [name] we made a contract at the altar’

‘To love each other, yes? Zhongli there’s no love left in this marriage, you sleep in the spare bedroom whenever I’m back, we sit in silence over dinner, I don’t think I’ve kissed you in months. The lack of love itself is the breach in the contract’

‘But I-’

‘Think about it, do you really feel the same love that you felt on the day we got married?’

‘[name]-’

Zhongli wakes up with a start, his heart beats a little fast for a second. The man convinces himself it’s just a dream he had, but the coldness of your side of the bed seems to speak otherwise

In all fairness, Zhongli should have rationalised his dream before he started wondering the house like a mad man. The only time he sleeps in the other bed is when you’ve suffered an extreme injury, dinners are often spent with jolly laughs and conversation. And Zhongli prides himself on the amount of affection he gives you around the house... and in the bedroom

But most things aren’t making sense in his head right now

“Zhongli my love” you call him upon noticing him in the hall. You had just come out of the bathroom after a midnight toilet break “Are you okay darling?” you ask placing a hand on his shoulder

The tenseness in Zhongli’s shoulders dissipate as soon as you initiate the touch

“I love you” he tells you, the declaration is out of nowhere to you. But you smile at him and embrace him

“And I love you too” you pause bringing up your hand baring the ring that sits on it “And this ring is a reminder of our vows and my unyielding love to you” you tell him with a smile

Zhongli chuckles at you and returns your hug “You seem to always know how to comfort me my dear”

“It’s because I’m a mind reader” you jest matching your spouses chuckle

Venti

Disappeared. So much so that the thousand winds could tell Venti that you were in fact not in Mondstat and had travelled to Liyue from the time Venti was playing music in the tavern to when he knocked for you early the next morning

The only trace you left was a letter. Unmistakeably written by your hand

‘Venti, writing this in a letter is much easier than saying this to your face. I am quite simply tired of your antics, no matter try to talk to you, you seem to always brush me off. Be it the nights you spend at the tavern, my general concern when you disappear for days at end just to tell me you were at the thousand winds temple, stormterrors lair, or windrise, no matter how much I tell you I checked all three. Being in a constant state of concern isn’t good for me, it’s emotionally draining and I’m terrified of finding you dead somewhere, despite your archon blood. By the time you read this I’ll be in Liyue where I’ll be staying with a friend for a while. Tell me I’m going somewhere you can’t follow, and I’ll tell you this is how I have felt many a night. I wish I could have kept loving you, [name]’

A harsh way to break up Venti admits to himself rereading the paper a few times before waking up

A dream?

Venti holds his chest, surely a dream couldn’t conjure such a horrific sinking feeling that makes him want to just vomit

Looking to your side of the bed for your comfort the sinking feeling intensifies when he doesn’t see you

So it wasn’t a dream? Venti doesn’t want to call on his kin, the thousand winds, again just to be told once more that you’re currently in Liyue sipping tea with this cousin you had mentioned in the letter 

The archon sits up in bed and takes deep breaths, he doesn’t want to explain to anybody that he had a panic attack over your horrific breakup letter, no no

After calming his breaths Venti steps out of bed with a shaky few steps before walking downstairs to engage in the typical breakout routine. Snacking. Maybe when you left you had elected to ignore some of the snacks you love to litter about your abode

When Venti walks in to the living room towards the kitchen he sees you nursing your head on the couch

“[name]?” he asks in almost disbelief

“Hm,” you answer before looking up to Venti “Oh hey love, sorry I’ve got a headache” you greet properly after a moment. Venti grins at you which causes you to tilt your head. Why is your headache so grin worthy? Weird...

“Would you like some paracetamol?” he asks walking beside you, you shake your head

“I just took some” you reply looking up at your partner “Though I’d love to rest my head on your thighs” you add. Venti more then obliges and settles down on the couch

“You know I had the strangest dream” Venti tells you after a prolonged amount of silence, you hum to let him know you’re listening “You left me” he says bluntly

Oh

Damn

You bring yourself up to Venti’s face with a smile and give him a kiss “I love you Venti, I wouldn’t leave you for even the prettiest lyre” you half console half jest

“That’s because the prettiest lyre is mine” Venti chuckles and you nod pressing another kiss to Venti’s lips

guys it’s 2.42am I’m so sorry if there’s grammatical errors, my brain isn’t catching up rn

[yoichichi]

Their Favorite Place to Kiss You

warning(s): none

a/n: I just feel like they needed something sweet damnit :( i love them that’s all - my inbox is always open :)

characters: mikasa, armin, levi, hange, eren, connie, sasha, jean, zeke, & reiner

Mikasa

Your eyelids

Mikasa has always been on the more soft spoken side when it comes to intimacy, sometimes she finds it’s even hard to reach out and hold your hand. She often opts for brushing her knuckles against yours and just hopes you get the gist. But when you’re asleep it’s different. She gets to reach out and run her fingertips delicately across your face and it gives her the perfect opportunity to lean in and press feather light kisses to your closed eyes, and she always hopes her love is strong enough that her affection communicates into your dreams. Please give this shy angel all the love :,(((

Armin

Your cheek

It’s just the purest way for him to show you he’s listening and cares really :(! You’ll be on a date and he’s holding your hand and he’ll just lean on over and place a little smooch there while he’s got this little smile going on, before he tells you to continue with your story, “I’m listening sweetie.” It was also the way he hyped himself up to be more physical with you as the relationship progressed. Baby boy was a little nervous for your first kiss so he worked himself up to it by acting all sly and leaving the gentlest of gentlest kisses on your soft skin. He also loves kissing any birth marks or freckles you may have on your face, they just draw his attention so much and he finds them so cute he has to leave some sort of appreciation for them. And now, kissing your cheek/face has just become his favorite place to leave hellos and goodbyes. It’s even better when he can feel your cheeks get plump from the way you smile when he leaves a kiss.

Levi

Your hands

He has a nasty habit of overworking himself and pushing his body to the limits physically. Staying up late and depriving himself of sleep, hunching over a desk and straining his eyes from all the reading and work, getting frequent headaches from how strong his focus has been - usually meaning he’s forgotten to drink enough water that day. It all takes toll in his tired eyes and the sore muscles in his body, the ones most tense in his upper back. The only good that comes from this is how easy it makes it to strip him away from work if need be. Just running your hands up his back to knead at the muscle between his shoulders and neck has him sighing and closing his eyes, reaching a hand up to grab onto one of yours and place thankful kisses along your knuckles. Now you’ve successfully convinced him to lay in bed while you softly run your hands over his face and body, only stopping when he grabs them to place more kisses. He hopes it’s good enough at showing you how grateful he is for you in his life <3

Hange

Your forehead

They call you their little stroke of genius always and this just kind of seals the deal for them teehee. Whenever they get any kind of idea - good, bad, small, big, dangerous, you name it - they’re placing a kiss on your forehead and hollering before they run off to execute said idea. You have an idea and they’re praising you on how smart you are while they kiss you repeatedly there, kind of like they’re your older, invasive relative or something. It’s also their favorite way to greet you whether it’s them coming home or waking you up first thing in the morning. It’s just always the perfect blank space for them to lay their love on you and get your attention. And if you have a big forehead they’ll mention how it gives them more space to love up on hehehehehe <3

Eren

Your neck

Cuddly boy, cuddly boy! He loves bothering you and trying to get your attention, and he finds it’s the easiest when he has his face buried in your neck and leaving wet kisses there. He also finds it’s such a versatile place for affection. If he’s feeling clingy, he can come up from behind and wrap his arms around you while he whines into the crook of your neck demanding you pay attention to him by kissing or blowing raspberries there until you’re giggling and giving in. When he’s sleepy and cuddling he can stretch his face up to whisper into your neck about heading to bed and finalizing his wish with a soft peck - barely even a kiss. If he’s in a mood it’s certainly an easy place to convince you to join him. And if he’s just feeling soft - which is almost always - he has no problem in smiling into that spot between your neck and shoulder and giving little love bites or any form of attention there. He’s just a clingy boy and it’s the easiest way to get what he wants - and hide how red his face can get from you.

Connie

The top of your head

It’s a funny thing he’s started doing in passing moments that’s just made his days so much brighter. You two will be bustling about in the kitchen cooking dinner and when you pass by him he just has to grab the sides of your face and reach over to kiss the top of your head with an obnoxious mwah to top it off. Or if he’s dropping you off he obviously has to reach over the middle console to pull your head aggressively towards him to leave another silly kiss - he likes it even more when you act “annoyed” with him over it. But it isn’t always silly, he finds it a really good way to let you know he hasn’t forgotten about how sweet you are to him. You’ll be laying in his chest while you two watch a movie and he’ll lean down to leave a long and quiet kiss into your hair, reminding you of his fondness.

Sasha

Your lips

It’s such a simple but sweet place to kiss! Nothing makes her happier than leaning in and giving a quick peck before she’s off to her busy day, her nose usually bumping into yours cause she’s being a little too quick about it, but it never fails to make you all giddy when you feel her smile against your lips. It’s also her favorite time to kiss you after you’ve had something sweet. First she just wiped the corner of your mouth with her thumb to collect the sticky syrup that collected there from your breakfast a few minutes prior, sucking the sweetness from the finger and humming to herself. Next it was replaced with a simple kiss to the corner of your mouth or wherever you had yet to clean up a crumb - sometimes her tongue would innocently dart out to get a better taste. Finally it became just a regular sweet kiss, even happier than before, when she could still taste the honey in your mouth from the biscuits you’d made for lunch.

Jean

Your shoulders

He adores running his hands up and down your arms and it just goes so well with leaving a few light kisses at the top of your shoulders. He also feels like it’s such an intimate part of the body in that for him to place a kiss there means he’s physically close to you in a way he treasures immensely. Like when he embraces you in a long, warm hug for whatever reason, getting to bend down and leave a long sensual kiss placed there feels so serious to him, even if you’re ticklish and it has you giggling. There’s just something so serene for him when he’s able to feel that calm and close with you that he always finds himself compelled to lean over and even crane his neck to remind you how special you are to him with a shoulder kiss. What can I say, he just loves em!

Zeke

Your thighs

It seems like he’s ALWAYS passed out with his head in your lap. He says it’s not his fault but yours because you’re the one who always lets him rest his head there when he’s home from work, running your fingers through his hair. How is he supposed to stay awake when you’re doing that? And don’t get him started on how you run your thumb over his brow bone and down the bridge of his nose before going back up and starting again. It’s like you want him to take a nap on your thighs! Which you kinda do cause it’s the only time you get to see this mf relaxed and quiet in your presence if he’s not reading or doing some other nerd shit. He always makes sure to press sweet kisses to the tops of them when he wakes up, along with chuckling and tickling you with his scruff. He also likes to give you massages when you’re laying in bed which always somehow leads to him rubbing your calf’s while he closes his eyes and gently kisses the soft skin on your inner thighs. He’s just a sucker for em and you can’t tell me otherwise!

Reiner

Your back

Oh this guy :( He’s a chronic big spoon, no matter your size. It’s just always so soothing for you to be in his arms with his hands resting at your tummy, sometimes absentmindedly kneading the soft skin there as he falls asleep. But he never stays that way, he ends up naturally scooting down throughout the night so when he wakes up his face is nuzzled into the middle of your back with his arms wrapped even tighter around your midsection. You can always tell when he wakes up by the soft flutter of his eyelashes against your skin and the tightening squeeze on your torso, followed by soft open mouth kisses up your spine and all over your shoulder blades. Of course the way he whispers, “hi”, into your ear once he’s reached the top let’s you know, too.

this made me so unbelievably soft omfg. I just felt like we needed some soft content and I’ve been missing them :((( if you guys like this and would want it I can make a pt.2 with some characters I didnt include in this one :)! Jus lemme know if it’s something you guys would want! Anyways I hope you enjoy, I love talking to you in my inbox, and if you’d like to be on a taglist jus lemme know and I’ll happily oblige :)

requests are open

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites @armins-futon @peachysimp @sofi-yeager

[raewritez]

for the want of the sun | chapter thirteen: flower crowns and goodbyes

masterlist

It’s evening when Zuko returns, the last beams of light clinging to the bristles of trees and the swell of the clouds. I’ve been holed up in this cave for hours, back against the mossy stone, watching the sky roll by with little entertainment except for my imagination. I see a bird rise from the ground, its feathers a sunset sort of orange, and I can pretend for a moment that I fly away with it.  Iroh’s here, too, but he’s quieter than usual. Not less cheery, but I think traveling has been taking a toll on him. He sits in the shadows tending to a pot of soup, humming a cheerful melody.

When Zuko arrives he pulls a sack from his back, the contents spilling onto the floor. I raise my eyebrows at the quantity of food, the pots and pans, and a new tea set. “Where’d you get this?” I ask, reaching for a lychee nut and rolling it between my fingers.

Zuko doesn’t look at me. “Shopping,” he grunts.

Iroh glances up at his nephew. “But where did you get the money?”

Zuko doesn’t answer, walking next to me and leaning lazily against the wall of the cave. “Do you like your new teapot?”

Iroh smiles, face weary. “To be honest, the best tea tastes delicious whether it comes in a porcelain pot or a tin cup.” He walks over to us, clasping Zuko’s shoulder. His eyes are kind. “I know we’ve had some difficult times lately. We’ve had to struggle just to get by. But it is nothing to be ashamed of. There is a simple honor in poverty.”

Zuko scoffs, “There’s no honor for me without the Avatar.”

“Zuko,” Iroh sighs. “Even if you did capture the Avatar, I’m not so sure it would solve our problems. Not now.”

Zuko shrugs his hand off roughly, stepping away. “Then there’s no hope at all.” I keep quiet, not wanting to intrude on their conversation. Zuko’s princely troubles are ones I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fully understand, no matter how much I care. I don’t have the responsibility he does.

When Zuko turns to leave, Iroh pulls him back. “No, Zuko! You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” Zuko only glares, pulling away from his hand. He storms off, and Iroh sighs sadly.

I stand to meet him, putting an arm around his shoulder in a loose hug. I look down at him - when did I become the taller one? I remember holding on to his leg when I was little, Zuko on the other, to keep him from leaving. My memories often feel more like dreams, something I came up with to pass the time in the lonely halls of the palace. I have to convince myself, sometimes, that it was true, that it was real. I offer him a smile. “He’ll be okay, he just needs some time.”

Iroh nods, patting my hand with warm fingers. “He struggles to see the good. He always has, ever since he was banished.”

I nod, staring off into the field where he disappeared. “Yeah, I know. That’s the good thing about being a servant, I guess. When your life has never been all that great, you can never really be disappointed. Not too much, anyway.”

He turns his head to look at me, smile lines shadowed in the sunlight. “Why don’t you go talk to him? I know you can help.”

I almost chuckle, glancing down at the ground. “I can barely get Zuko to listen to me most of the time.”

“Perhaps, but he cares for you, even if he has trouble showing it. He values what you have to say.”

“You sure about that?”

“I am.” He stares at me, then, and his eyes are warm. A sensation fills me - a ghost of a feeling. As if it was the phantom whispers of something I’d lost. “Go to him,” he smiles. “If he doesn’t listen, you can always come back. I’ll be here when you return.”

⋅���⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

I find Zuko in the field, haloed by thistles and spring buds. The grass crunches under my feet and he perks up, eyes falling on me. When they register he rolls his eyes, falling back down to the earth.

“I don’t want to talk right now, Y/n.”

I keep walking until I reach him, plopping down next to him on the ground. “Okay.” I reach for a flower growing by his head, plucking the stem from the dirt. It’s white and lovely, the petals soft under my fingers. I fiddle with it for a moment, and Zuko turns his head at the silence.

“So, what, you’re just not gonna talk?”

I smile a bit, examining the flower in my hands. “You didn’t want me to.”

His head thuds against the ground, and he reaches his hands to push his hair away from his face. “Yeah, but you usually do anyway.”

“Do you want me to?”

“...No.”

“Okay.” I reach for another flower, red, by my feet. The petals are glossy, as if someone had poured candle wax over them. I twist its stem with the other, tying a loose knot. I can feel Zuko’s eyes on me, curious and annoyed, tracing the movement of my fingers. The stems come together, the flowers winding around each other in the front. I look at Zuko and place the crown atop his head. He sends me a weird look, hand lifting to trace it with his fingers. He doesn’t take it off, though.

I sigh. “Your Uncle is worried about you.”

He scoffs. “So you did come to talk.”

“Yeah.”

Zuko sighs, pale skin dusted in lavender as the moon starts to rise in the clearing. “There’s no point.”

“No point in what?”

“In anything. There’s nothing out here for me. Nobody’s waiting for me. My whole life is back in the Fire Nation, and if I can’t capture the Avatar and return home, what’s the point?” He was agitated now, words coming in choppy bursts of breath and brow furrowed atop his darkened eyes.

“There’s always a point, Zuko.”

His eyes cut to me, and he rolls them. He shakes his head, like an adult talking to a child. “You wouldn’t understand.”

All lightness falls from my face, and I clench my jaw. It’s my turn to scoff, now. “Wouldn’t understand? Really?” He looks back at me, eyes gleaming with surprise. “I’m an orphan, Zuko. I’m a servant. I think I know a thing or two about not having anyone waiting for me.” I see his face soften, an apology crawling its way up his throat. “My life has never had a point. The only point, according to all of you in the Fire Nation, was to serve people who happened to be born with a higher status than me. To sit still, and be quiet, and to only exist when it benefits other people. Otherwise, I was supposed to disappear. I’m just an inconvenience, right? My life has never had a point, so I’ve had to make my own. And I’m sorry you’re struggling right now, but that’s not a reason to give everything up!”

Zuko stares at me for a moment, mouth parted. The flower crown hangs lopsided on his head, and it makes him look silly. But I can’t bring myself to laugh right now, or even look at him. Sometimes even I can’t believe how frustrating he can be. So instead I stand up, brushing the dirt from my pants, and I walk away. My breath comes shallowly, and I bring my hands to my face, trying to ground myself again. The orange bird from earlier swoops by, chirping, and I feel like crying.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It’s a few hours until Zuko comes back, and when he does I don’t look up. I’ve been sitting in the cave, tracing the stone with my fingertips. It's cool to touch, and the scratches on the wall look like inscriptions if I squint hard enough. Iroh hasn’t talked to me since I returned, I think he knows that my chat with Zuko didn’t go too well. I feel Zuko brush past me, the warmth from his body sweeping over me like a breeze.

“Uncle,” he says, “I thought a lot about what you said.”

Iroh’s face lights up with a smile. “You did? Good, good.”

“It helped me realize something.” Zuko takes a breath. “We no longer have anything to gain by traveling together. I need to find my own way.”

Iroh’s expression falls, and I tense up. A pit quickly makes its way to my stomach.

Zuko’s shadow casts across the wall, and I see him approaching. He stands behind me, still, and I don’t look back. After a moment he steps beside me, and I think he might speak, but he doesn’t. He bends down and places the flower crown in front of me, and walks away. The petals look wilted already.

Iroh rises to his feet. “Zuko, wait!” I hear him run off, and I hear the jostling of the reins that the ostrich horse is wearing. Quiet words are exchanged - I cannot hear them, and I don’t try to. The sound of hoofsteps grows softer, and I know that he’s gone. I lay down against the cool floor of the cave, and try to get some sleep.

///

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