#TWO CANCELED APPOINTMENTS. TWO.
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after two canceled eye doctor appointments, one insurance fuckup that led to a canceled glasses order, and the longest warby parker home try on wait I’ve ever had, my new glasses are Finally on the way
Everyone please send good vibes that the updated prescription will A. be correct and B. solve the headache problems I’ve been having, because if it doesn’t i will cry
#mary emma talks#i want to See but god fucking nerfed me#when my eye doctor called to let me know i actually don't have a frame allowance because it hasn't been 24 months (it's been. 22.)#and i had to cancel my order because without insurance I had to find cheaper glasses#i almost lost it#TWO CANCELED APPOINTMENTS. TWO.#fucking winter
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ALSO??????? WHAT TF DO YOU MEAN THEY UPDATED GENTAROS CATCHPRASE??????
AND THAT THEY CHANGED A LINE IN ARB WHERE HE REFERENCED THAT OLD CATCHPRASE INTO SOMETHING NEW THAT EXPRESSES HIS WILL TO CONTINUE ON WITH THE LIE??????
AND THAT WILL IN OF ITSELF WAS REFERENCED THIS WHOLE TIME IN HIS NEW SOLO WITH HOW THE POEM LITERALLY ENDS WITH HIM SAYING HE WILL CONTINUE TO LIE??????
#this is vee speaking#i actually have the day off ITS A KUUKOU AND POSSE MIRACLE LOL#a scheduled appointment i had and had taken the day off for was cancelled so i fully intended to stay up laaaaaate sleep innnnn y’know lol#except i wound up crashing really early lol????? but i made a fatal mistake in drinking extra caffeine during the day#so i was up until two after waking up suddenly from my 6 o’clock nap lol *wheeze*#AND SAW THE CHANGES HYPMIC MADE TO GENTARO LOL????? I USED TO JOKE ONE DAY WED WAKE UP TO GENTAROS PROFILE CHANGING#BUT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED LOL GODSPEED IG!!!!!!!!!!!!#POSSE STANS ALWAYS EAT SO WELL LMAO YALL SO LUCKY TO STAN AN OPEN LORE DIVISION FR THATS SO SICK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#tho i have seen one or two opinions expressing sadness they shut down gentaro actually revealing his real name 🤔#imo???? like honestly lol???? they’re not quite done yet with their identities lol#there’s still the ‘original’ ramuda niitaro is basically still living as gentaro since gentaro doesn’t have his memories to ‘reclaim’ it#aaaaaand there’s still one or two points about dice i need to digest some more lol#that final scene rejecting dice’s lady luck is niggling in the back of my head but idk what to make of it yet#i think posse still got room to develop despite the track being a great resolution for their development lol#AND THATS COOL POSSE STANS STAY FED ON LORE LOL
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here’s a pic of me in the bathroom at the restaurant earlier btw. really really cute patio. good drinks!! my hair looked fucking crazy bc it was soooo humid. frizz fuckin cityyyyy!! can’t wait to go to my salon appointment on tuesday & be like “i want to look like a lion that somebody gave a trim to with kitchen scissors in the bathroom at a basement show except im so tired of cutting my own hair in the bathroom so that’s why im paying you to make it happen. please”
#i keep getting surprised how long it is. i have it up so much of the time now that when its down it’s just soo long#my hair hasn’t been this long since high school#also the poor stylist… it was in so many layers last time there’s split ends literally in every section of hair you can imagine#the whole thing is split ends. maybe i should just shave my hair again and start fresh. cancel the appointment#photo record#face tag#chatpost#also for the record i do have real hair scissors i don’t use kitchen scissors on my hair#i know what i’m doing im just tired of doing it by myself#on the other hand i also hate paying for it which is why i haven’t had a haircut in two years. lmao
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gpose dump #4: estinio. again.
#azia gposes#io laithe#io/estinien#ffxiv#LISTEN I JUST FOUND MORE!!!#mostly i want these in their tag#to commemorate the things i made before i have to relearn how to pose with new bones/tools#if i can toot my own clown horn...................... goddamn i'm good at hands 🥴#also the shot of the meyhane date makes me feel so silly and goofy#bc io's just “bestie esti. so what if i love him. it's not like anything is happening. i know him inside and out and he'd never consider it#vs. estinien like “we've been on four dates and she's my girl but i'll tell her that on the fifth. maybe.”#okay now i'm finished for real#i have half a day of work and then a short baby shower for a coworker tomorrow.#i cancelled my adhd appointment in favor of embracing mental illness for the next two weeks#i will see 4k io tomorrow afternoon T^T#TIME TO SLEEP!!
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After 21+ days of not taking my birth control anymore, my period has hit. Now I know why I suddenly got a weird tummy ache at work and had to bowl over in the middle of a sentence.
ANYWAY hopefully it will make me so fatigued I sleep like a goddamn hibernating beast this week. Make me feel what I assume anemia despite doctors telling my my iron levels are fine. Make me go blegh urgh ugh so much that I need to pass out to speed through time. But don't give me a bad enough tummy ache that I can't fall asleep because then I will just cut out my organs, please and thanks.
#ramblings#maybe this was also the inexplicable sad feeling I had at lunch time that went away when i got too busy to think#being a toddler teacher makes my brain disappear because i gotta focus#i have a doctor's appointment next month. the one i was supposed to have canceled on me like two days beforehand AFTER i already wrote#detailed IMPECCABLE DETAILS answers for the doctor so they'd have the info#and then when it canceled all my answers disappeared into the aether
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it's been over a decade since I've been able to get a same-week doctor appointment. idk what's changed or how my mom was managing it when we were kids, but it's super rough being any sort of unwell in america lmao
#[static]#when i was having the worst tooth pain of my life I had to just sit with it for almost two weeks because I couldn't afford to-#-use an emergency appointment AND I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!!#and it barely covered it as a normal procedure. i still had to pay $1500 !!#and it ended up only being 2 weeks instead of a month because someone cancelled their appointment and they called me#kjglhdfgl im just very bitter about the healthcare system ignore me
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two months of trying to get contacts & now they just put me off by another half a month at least
#killing & biting i just want to see#but also i hate wearing glasses so much I'd almost rather not see. they are a sensory misery#thoughts#the worst thing is I've had two appointments where they try vontwcts on me that feel wonderful & for two minutes i get to see beautifully#only for the guy to decide they don't fit right & I'll need yo come back in two weeks to try again. torment#not to mention the galf dozen appointments they've made & then cancelled on me
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shit might suck right now for me health and mentally wise BUT at least my doctor said that i should get vaccinated for the rona and flu so i get to do that for free now forever so at least that’s something
#i still haven’t recovered from the sickness my siblings inflicted on me#i’ll be better for a day or two and then i don’t get so much sleep one night#because i haven’t gotten my sleeping pill prescription refilled yet#and then i wake up feeling like shit and full of phlegm#i know it’s the same one because it’s not like i’m out here getting reinfected by anyone#and then my sleep shit snowballs from how late i wake up and how much longer everything takes when im sick#and the only thing that reminded me consistently to take my evening meds is broken#and i have to contact the provider that lent it to me and also i have to contact like seven others for various things#and some of them are easy to get ahold of and some are a nightmare and all is too much#needless to say i’m ‘going through’ ‘it’ as the kids say#AND school on top of that???#i feel bad for being so offline because i feel like im letting people down with the fundraiser stuff#but you can see why i’m like.#i’ll be back when i have my shit together enough that i won’t lose my disability benefits next year#because that’s another fucking sword of damocles i’m oscillating between trying not to think about and having debilitating anxiety over#and i have to apply but i need an updated study plan for that but the guy who is in charge of those#cancelled our appointment so i had to book another one which is a few days before a school related deadline#and i’m probably going to be broke as hell beginning of next year anyway because the benefits renewal process takes on average 6 months ime#and it comes with backpay but i have a old ass senior dog. so that’s going to be fun juggling vet bills 🙃#normally i’d sprinkle this stuff a little here or there but i haven’t been online to do that do you get it all at once
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Today was pretty horrible. Argued with my dentist over an appointment I requested to cancel on Thursday, which she charged me the cancellation fee for anyway because she closes at 1 on Thursday, is off on Fridays, and I requested the cancel at 1:30 on Thursday so it wasn't within 48 business hours. In the hour I was arguing with her I missed a therapy appointment and didn't realize it until four hours later. Then I realize that while I was arguing with the dentist I also forgot to refill the cat's feeder and she went without food for half the day.
Fuck that dentist. (And daylight savings)
#two appointment fees in one day i am fucking kicking myself#i just moved too so my planner is in a box somewhere#my dentist was so nice to me at ny last appointment but i guess she has a strict cancel policy for a reason#ugh feeling like a pile of goddamn trash
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Update on how my life's going, still sick, but the worst of it was just those first few days where I was all shaky and weak; now I mostly feel fine, I just have a god-awful cough. And with my asthma, whenever I have a cough, it's what a normal person would call god-awful. I don't mean it like that, I mean I have a cough that's horrible by MY standards, which are extremely fucked.
Anyways, I'm like 90% certain I managed to bruise my own ribs by coughing yesterday, so that's a fun new development. My lungs are still trying to violently expel themselves from my body of course, just now it's also incredibly painful.
Did I mention I've got like 3 weeks before I have to do a physical assessment for my new job, because that's a thing as well. Here's hoping my cough goes away and my ribs feel better by then, cause I really want this job.
#i've also got a dentist appointment in two days but theres no way thats happening now#gonna have to call in to cancel it tomorrow. at least my dentist is wonderful so it shouldnt be too much of a problem#the upside to all this is my horrible death cough has scared my sibling enough that they're not forcing me to help them move#and thank god for that; i've been roped into that like 4-5 times before and i'm not doing it again goddamnit#they've got a bunch of IRL friends why am i their go-to furniture hauling lackey??
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My uni department is so lucky I had a sweat treat this morning bc otherwise it would be over for these bitches…
#I’m being dramatic but without my pastry I would commit arson istg#I finally scored a meeting with my professor after she ghosted me for almost a week#& then she cancels a minute before our appointment#LIKE ARE YOU KIDDIJG ME#I never wanted this meeting to begin with#I sent an email asking for feedback clarifications & I stated two very concise questions#THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL!!!!#nana news 🗞️
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miserable, cant swallow or talk or even really breathe without severe pain rn bc my throat (lymph nodes?) are swollen up so bad. no fever but fuck my entire life it suuuuucks
anyway in other news i realized doofensmirtz qualifies to kill both macbeth and also that meme guy from lord of the rings. neither parent showed up to his birth and he is also legally an ocelot
#im sure five billion people had this thought already but fuck it this is the only thought bouncing through my skull rn#i have not been able to sleep because of the pain and according to searches#it likely is gonna continue up to or through xmas#i have five doctors appointments this week fuck my entire life#im gonna have to cancel or online them all if this keeps up and the one#'''''emergency''''' one (read: two months later versus six) cant be done thru telehealth#fuuuuuuck meeeeeeee
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Scared
#I have therapy for the first time in a month bc I had to cancel my last two appointments#and now that I Have to go back I’m worried :(#I don’t like doing things
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just fired my therapist who has been ghosting me for 4 months because she sent me a letter threatening termination because "i have not responded to any contact and continued silence will be taken as agreement to cancel services"
literally fuck you. actually fuck you. she would call WITHOUT WARNING when i would be out running errands and then when we actually have a scheduled meeting she would cancel 20 minutes after it was supposed to start.
therapy is sooo incredibly useless. i have never needed it, it has always *harmed* me more than not having it.
#it's actually so annoying.#the only reason i stopped responding was because she would always ghost me#to the point where i would place bets with myself on how far into the scheduled time it would be before she would cancel#every.#single.#week.#at one poiny she even acknowledged that she missed more appointments than i did during one of my worst dissociative phases#that lasted two years.#because she would miss every. single. appointment.#alwyas last minute#after id been waiting for an hour#Fuck you actually#the way i completely forgot she existed until that letter was sent because thats how long it's been since she messaged me.#anti psych#she would make me cry when i first started working with her from how hostile her tone was.#like not in a 'work through the pain' way#literally just her picking up the phone and so clearly not wanting to talk to me that it would make me cry#or her completely just. being so insensitive.#i would say something that was really bothering me and she would either go 'so?' or she'd get obviously uncomfortable and be like 'welp.#tough shit'#ACTUAL QUOTE SHE HAS SAID TO ME#and whenever i would discuss my dissociation--THE MAIN REASON I WAS IN THERPAY TO BEGIN WITH-- she would get soo dismissive#she would regularly say 'i dont think you actually have dissociation'#ok girl tell me how you know my life more than me when i talk to you maybe 4 times a year for 30 minutes.#go on.#tell me.
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i'm not gonna reblog them all bc it takes up so much dash space but here are some memes i reblogged yesterday for anyone who may have missed them but is interested in starting a new thread with me ♡
#ended up cancelling my appointment & sleeping until almost 2pm ✌️#but on the positive side that means I might have the energy to get started on some of these later lmao...#but yes!! like i said yesterday: feel free to send multiples across any or all of the four!!#having options has only ever helped me uvu#but also like I said yesterday: I haven't got it in me atm to do a starter call so. memes are the best way to get smth going with me adfhjg#esp now that I'll essentially be emptying my drafts (almost) completely of anything more than a month or two old#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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once again battling the anxiety of asking my boss if i can pweaase take an hour off work to go to the doctor
#already cancelled two appointments like i reaaaly need to go lol#but contemplating if i can deal with it for another 3 weeks lol why is this so scary 😭#da.post
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