#i feel bad for being so offline because i feel like im letting people down with the fundraiser stuff

[cerealxperimentslain]

shit might suck right now for me health and mentally wise BUT at least my doctor said that i should get vaccinated for the rona and flu so i get to do that for free now forever so at least that’s something

[horce-divorce]

"Trans men don't need an intersectional word that goes beyond "transphobia" because being a man is not an oppressed identity, it's easier for them to get resources, and they're not affected by transmisogyny"

Words spoken by people who have never met another GNC person offline (or another trans person who wasn't white) even once tbqfh. And yeah access to those spaces is difficult and often gatekept to shit so I don't think that's anyone's fault, esp not transfems. Your brutal exclusion is never your fault. Still, I think it is possible to have these CRUCIAL conversations about transmisogyny and how transfems are affected... without making sweeping statements about what other trans people do or do not experience. It might be easier for people to check their transmisogyny if they could understand how it does in fact affect them sometimes, their behavior, language, and the spaces they frequent, in addition to how it perpetuates this awful exclusion. Being hypervisible and yet constantly excluded IS something that transfems should have a word for. That IS something I do not understand the pain of as a transmasc. It must make them feel utterly insane. By all means, coin more words! It enriches these conversations when we can relate to each other more and we have more language for the discussions we're having. We want to tear down the walls keeping us apart, not build more.

to be clear, I don't think tma/tme are "unnecessary." Transmisogyny is real and transfems do really experience uniquely awful shit, especially from within the community. But that in an of itself is not a unique experience. Being excluded from "women and nonbinary only spaces" is actually not a uniquely transfem experience. So many transmascs do NOT benefit from patriarchy and I am tired of this claim coming from non-transmascs.

HOW we all get policed by our in-groups presents differently, but policing each others experiences is not something that bridges understanding. And I'm sorry but in 3 years of this convo I've not once seen someone bring up tma/tme to discuss transfems without entirely dismissing swaths of other queer people in the process. Maybe im not seeing the good faith takes, idk.

A lot of other bad-faith misinformation is STILL getting passed around about the coiner of the term "transandrophobia" and what it supposedly means, and how the term itself is transmisogynistic. None of that ever matches up with what I actually see in transandrophobia discussions. I see a lot of diverse people discussing and relating to transandrophobia, specifically a lot of tpoc and intersex people, even a lot of transfems. The people who talk ABOUT 'transandropobia truthers' present a much different idea of the discourse we're having than what i actually see. That inconsistency is a red flag for me.

Tldr i think the concept of tma/tme is fine actually, but I disagree with the usage of the term tme specifically. Terms describing what tma/tme are getting at AND transandrophobia can and should coexist. These are not mutually exclusive ideas actually. apparenrly i cant bring up one without addressing the other bc nobody has good faith conversations anymore.

Basically just. Please don't tell me what I have or haven't experienced, and I won't claim to know your pain intimately, either. we can still relate to each other over the ways we've been let down. I feel like that should be the goal, not determining who does or does not deserve to use certain words.

Also as an asexual, the whole "transandrophobia truther" dismissal feels eerily similar to the rampant ages-old acephobia from tumblr we know and love. You guys love mocking "novel" (to you) discourse and then 5+ years down the line acting like you weren't telling us to commit sepukku for suggesting that ace people can be oppressed for our orientation because we "don't even experience sexual attraction and you cant be oppressed for something you dont experience."

self determination is important for all of us for many reasons. I won't tell anyone else what words to use for themselves. If you're TMA youre TMA, end of story. But dont tell me by definition that makes me TME or that I have to use terms I feel are incomplete or inadequately describe my own experience. I'm not asking anyone else to do that.

Anyway.

[arlathen]

personally i'm trying not to be a hater and definitely not trying to dunk on others opinions of the game so far, but I'm just having a really hard time looking forward to anything bioware is putting out rpg wise because it already feels so hollow of what the other dragon age games did in terms of story/characters/companions as well as the personalization of the story our characters are in. I wish I was better with words because it's not that I'm not excited, I just love these games and the world of dragon age so much and im tired of that not being reflected by those actually making the game, it's like they just ignore giant parts of it. I'm not sure if nostalgia for the first three games is just keeping me from being excited about veilguard, but idk I just wanted to get my thoughts out sorry for the word block

aw that's okay! everyone is entitled to feel a certain way. my relationship with dragon age is a little different than a lot of peoples' because i played them all at once right in a row -- so it all feels like a natural evolution. origins mechanics evolve into 2's mechanics evolve into inquisition's mechanics. and personally, i DO feel like veilguard's mechanics look like an evolution of inquisition's mechanics.

so. way back in my day (2012-2014) i was a somewhat popular gifmaker in the sherlock fandom and i *joined* that fandom right after the second season aired. the sherlock fandom was in its heyday during the gap between the second and third season and were notorious for being wacky and zany and writing a lot of in-depth meta about how the cliffhanger from the end of season 2 would be resolved. and when it was resolved, it sucked. they did it way worse than fans had imagined.

so i also have that instinct. all these very smart fans of the game have spent ten years imagining how they're going to resolve this. i've imagined hours of what my perfect resolution would look like. veilguard is inherently going to be less tailored to my tastes than what i imagined, and so i might perceive it as worse than what i was promised and feel let down. i have a strong opinion that this is what happened to cyberpunk 2077 on release -- it was so hyped for so long that everyone imagined their perfect game, and when it wasn't exactly what they imagined, that made it worse in comparison.

but then there are parts of it that are cooler than i imagined, too. even from just what we've seen.

the two games bioware has put out since inquisition are mass effect andromeda and anthem. and both of these games are, imo, special cases for different reasons. andromeda was primarily made by bioware montreal, not bioware edmonton -- different, inexperienced team. and anthem was.... i mean, it was anthem -- bioware is good at story driven single player action rpgs. anthem was a destiny clone. from what i've heard (i did not play it) the mechanics of it were fun-ish (like, flying the actual mech suits) and i've seen that the game looked beautiful. it was just tedious and repetitive and was designed to fuel microtransactions.

so the key failings in the games that have come since -- multiplayer game not in their wheelhouse and not being built by the main bioware team -- are both being averted in veilguard. it's an entirely offline experience made by the devs we know. many of the most hated parts of inquisition, in fact, they have said they cut out (big empty open worlds where you need to collect 100 silverite). i've said before and i'll say again that it really, really feels like bioware have looked at the criticism they have received and tried to course correct as best they could.

and that does inspire confidence and optimism in me, personally. it isn't going to be exactly like how you're imagining -- for good or for bad. i'm tempering my expectations in line with that, myself. i know that no matter what we're going to meet new cool companions and get to kiss 'em (this is important to me). we're gonna get a whole bunch of new lore (this is also important to me). and we're gonna put an end to my egg boyfriend's misery one way or another (this is most important to me).

[m1ckeyb3rry]

That answers my question I just completely forgot to send it in omfg I CANNOT let myself get distracted while replying anymore I literally like almost deleted this note thinking I already sent it in goodbye.

But anyways….……

LMFAOOO THANK YOU I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT!!! You’ll be the first to know if I ever actually start using it HAHA honestly you’d probably end up answering some boomer like tumblr questions of mine bc I’m ngl why’s there sm on this platform HAHA now that I think about it though I straight up just don’t post anywhere maybe I should start changing that…..

NO SO TRUE because I just KNOW they’re picking the juiciest stories like I’m not scrolling through that subreddit myself HAHA

Just doing my part for the Karasu community!!! Gotta kick start it somewhere yk hopefully I’m inspiring people to talk and request Karasu more often!!!! LMAO wait that’s actually kinda crazy though HAHAHA I guess the Hiori requester sniffed out your secret side character vibes before I did smh….lowk that is interesting though?? Ok my thought process was definitely 1) ok she knows Kaiser so she’s def read the manga 2) she has no character limits so I’m just gonna shoot my shot (it worked out in the best possible way omg) I’ve def seen blogs that only write for the main characters ****itoshis but a good amount of them do out only a specific handful of characters in their request rules….wait actually pause I think the main tipping point for me is actually when I ended up reading cherry tree and was like no fucking way Karasu mention??? Time to test the waters because I kid you not I loved the way you did cherry tree but I was also so fucking hooked on the Karasu cameo I was like oh em gee….karasu mention and HE TALKS?? Guys….so yeah!! Actually that also jogs my memory and clears up my own thoughts of how I first found you (again…??) my memory’s kinda bad if you couldn’t tell HAHAHA

Ok……Mira really trying to solidify the shower evidence…sus…/j

THATS WHAT IM SAYING HAHAHAAH ok but like I was a little surprised that they were the color scene I thought it would’ve been some Kaiser Isagi Rin looking thing with maybe mini side characters in the bg kinda like your current header! Stop did we just manifest ego glow up too??

That’s funny because I also haven’t watched but ik what you’re talking about because I remember seeing people freak out over it LMAOOO BUT FR omg shin ah so gorgeous??? Also omfg you’re so right??? The side by side of Hak and hair down zantetsu….the resemblance is uncanny….but FR S2 being my real male leads into the spotlight please….

Tbh I don’t have high hopes for the fandom but we’ll know in our hearts that Karasu is just a closeted sweetheart loser!!! Ok the Nagi cheater allegations and red flags are actually INSANE like how tf??????????? I seriously have no idea what people are on do you think bro even has the energy to cheat……

LMAOO you’re giving them a reality check on everyone’s behalf we thank you for your service o7

Honestly pop off LMAOO like who’s gonna go challenge your parents sooo also wtf????!!!! BRO DID WHAT???!!!! wtf I literally have no words what the helllllllll glad you’re safe now but omg I hope you never have to experience something like that again….um wdym you have more stories like that??????????? Idk if you’ve ever seen those wild tiktok sponsored posts of like this weird pheromone attractive perfume I think you need creep repellent you’re rizz is too strong…..wtf…..also ENJOY SWITZERLAND!!!!!

But omg another storm shshshs stay safe??? Manifesting your electricity holds up from now on HAHA I’d imagine there aren’t storms in Switzerland rn so….

-Karasu anon

LMAOO no i always get so distracted that ‘save draft’ button is my savior when it comes to answering asks but ik you can’t really do that when sending them 😭 if i ever take more than like a day to respond without explanation feel free to send a check-in ask because that means i’m either being unprecedented levels of offline or i just didn’t get it/see it!!

tumblr takes soo long to get a hang of i will be happy to answer any boomer questions of yours as i probably had the same questions when i first began using the app!! i will always be here for the reveal if/when it comes

i guess the side character vibes i give off are too strong…also hiori made a cameo in cherry tree alongside otoya and karasu so they might’ve made a similar journey as you LMAOAO especially because they mentioned in the request that they had read and liked cherry tree!! that’s so funny that that fic (which i wrote for the most basic character ever) is what led to side character fans finding me!! omg no because tbh there was no reason for karasu to be the one talking in that scene but i was starving and desperate to write him and i thought he could pull it off and now i’m so glad i did that!! and yeah a lot of people tend to only write for a few characters which i think is fair because i 100% get being uncomfortable writing for characters you’re unfamiliar with 🧐 me personally though…if i’m in a fandom there’s not a character in it I WON’T write for!! if i’m too unfamiliar with them i’ll just do research until i feel decent abt it (that’s what i did for the hiori request hehe read and reread his ln + wiki until i was like “okay i think i can do this”)

I SHOWER I PROMISE I SHOWER (not clickbait!!)

maybe this means the NEL arc is ending soon?? like they’re putting all of the coaches in the color spread because we won’t see them again for a while…honestly i really liked this (much more exciting than the last epinagi one) and i’m happy it wasn’t the kaiser + isagi + rin combo again!! all of the coaches are really interesting to me as they all show diff pitfalls of professionals sports (chris + vanity, snuffy + depression/burnout, loki + selfishness, lavinho + immaturity iirc?? and noa + being boring af /j) honestly i could read a spinoff abt all of them too!! and omg ego glow up too…we sensed the vibes in the air and we knew egonation was about to RISE

SHINAH MY BELOVEDDD omg i actually once started a fic for him that was the precursor for hurricanes / hummingbirds in many ways and i still think abt it sometimes but like the fandom for yotd is so nonexistent that i never got the motivation to finish it!! but i think i answered an ask abt it as part of a tag game once here if you’re in the mood for some mira writing while waiting for bfb!! no but the resemblance between zantetsu and hak is uncanny omg team v trio is actually team shoujo trio all of them look like they deserve to be male leads…zantetsu in a historical fantasy shoujo, nagi in a high school slice of life but also mental health focused shoujo, and reo in a ceo romance shoujo SKDJFHS they’re all so bf i love them

we will always know the truth abt karasu and that’s what matters 😩 no because i need to know…do the nagi cheater/red flag (which are unrelated to his laziness) allegations stem from him “leaving” reo during second selection?? because if so that’s insane to me there’s such a difference between joining a different soccer team and cheating on your romantic partner 😭 in epinagi even reo himself acknowledges that he SHOULD be happy for nagi and nagi is so ‘no thoughts head empty’ about it LKDFJGNS bro fr was putting the pieces together like isagi…”play soccer with isagi -> get better at soccer -> win world cup with reo 😄” HOW IS THIS A RED FLAG???

LMAOOO it’s so bad i feel like looking back my time in high school just sounds unreal?? i sent a picture of my eye to another guy i was friends with (in the same friend group as the other two ironically) to show him my new mascara and no joke he responded with an entire verse comparing my eyes to “the heavens” 😭⁉️ and there was also a point in my senior year when i kinda liked a junior on the soccer team (so bfb reader of me but like. reversed.) but for some reason everyone shipped me with the captain of the soccer team?? like people would harass my FRIENDS asking if i liked him…meanwhile i liked mr junior varsity who didn’t even get playtime 😓 it was so bad too i went to a soccer game and everyone thought i was attending to watch the captain, INCLUDING THE GUY I WAS INTO 😐 i went up to congratulate him after the game and bro fr said “did you see the captain play he was amazing” i just left at that point because what can you even do…these are relatively tame in terms of mira lore sadly KJSHGHDFK this is why i have never had a boyfriend or first kiss or anything like that 💔 they’re all CRAZY 😱

SWITZERLAND SOON!! unfortunately my dreams of finishing bfb before my flight are definitely not coming true sooo ig i know what i’m doing for the entire plane ride!! hopefully the lack of distractions will help me finish it up and then i can just proofread in my downtime and hopefully post at some point soon…feel like i’ve been teasing you all for so long but i promise it will be long enough to make the wait worth it (i hope anyways)

[creativebrainrot]

Open Journal Entry

long one. TLDR: This fucking house sucks and it's never felt like a home to me. I want out but the WAITING,,,,, its suffocating. we'll be out eventually. Im so sick of waiting though. I miss the. eight months, where I felt truly alive for the first time in my entire life. I want a car back. I want to move out. I want to leave all this misery and abuse behind us already. I want a life. I am going insane.

But the horrors wont fucking win because I am NOTHING if not fueled by spite and fury.

I wanna talk about my experience with this house I'm currently stuck in, and have been stuck in for 22 years now.

I do not have a single memory of feeling safe within this house, or a single memory of enjoying this house. I have memories of enjoying the wilderness nearby, the front yard, the back yard, the creek way out back. But not the house.

I felt safe in the bath as a kid. I feel safe dissociating in the shower. I have spent ages avoiding being fully-lucid in this house. Numbing myself by diving into video games, the internet, consuming media like video essays about random shit, political commentary, let's plays, etc. Anything that I could hide in and avoid being aware of my situation with.

Music and art were big ones for escaping.

Everything about this house is falling apart.

I finally felt alive for the first time in my entire life in 2022. And yet. 2022 had the worst months of my entire life within it.

And now. I'm stuck. Waiting. Again. Just like I have been my entire fucking life. Stuck, in the middle of nowhere, without people my age, without places I enjoy seeing, without people who care in my offline personal life.

Waiting. For the day my dad can tell me we are finally free.

We had no idea that we had so much legal bullshit we needed to sort after my father died in late january this year. So, we've had to deal with all of it; the confusion, the legal shit, the pain, the helplessness, etc, as we discover every new fucking step we weren't told about and couldn't find the answer to. because we're both neurodivergent, and traumatized. that affects a lot of what we are able to do and what we aren't.

I'm fucking tired of announcing what should be good news, over and over and over, only to find that there's more fucking waiting on the other side. Hope, hurts. Right now everytime I start to hope I start to hurt so i've just been living in numbness since march this year.

The pump & water is fucked up, we have to work around it. We have running water, but we have to turn off the pump everytime we're done using it.

The AC is broken. It was replaced a few years ago and now it's the wrong type of AC for our house. It doesnt fucking work and our bedrooms are little ovens because of it. I have had to move my mattress into my studio, the only room with a window AC.

I have been stuck with a fucking twin bed since I was 15. Which, while technically a useable size for me, I cannot begin to unravel and to explain the kind of demoralizing and humiliating being stuck with the same fucked up "not a real bed or Adult Mattress" is for me.

Fucking bugs get inside ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

We haven't been able to work doordash for MONTHS now and I miss that routine so goddamn much.

I finally had a real life for the first time ever in my entire life, and its gone. Because we were lied to. Kept in the dark. Didn't realize how bad our situation was, until it was too late.

The only reason we are okay, is because of kindness from my friends and kindness from our neighbors.

I just want this to be over now.

I have never felt happy in this house. My dad and I never have the energy to clean it. I barely have the energy to take care of myself. I used to work out and exercise, I used to feel so happy. We ate good food and I got to cook and have fun and feel normal for awhile.

then the car broke down.

This house has always felt either neutral or fucking miserable. I've watched so many beloved pets die in this house. I've only ever been abused in this house. I've felt so fucking depressed in this house.

It's not even in an area where I can escape to a friend's house, or walk to a park, or enjoy any amenities. Because it's in the middle of fucking nowhere, retirement neighborhoods for rich old white republicans who wouldn't fucking speak to us if they knew who we really were. It's only because my dad masks as a ditzy old white lady that they're so nice to him.

I hate it here. I've been suffocating here long enough. I can't handle another year.

I think it might break me.

Everytime I'm remotely fully lucid in this house, I feel like shit. I remember things that I want to forget. I've dreamed of moving out and having my own place since I was a child. I thought my life would be better when I was 19- to be kind to fate, it was. Much better when I was 19. But not the normal fulfilling life I wanted to have.

I want out because everything we are currently dealing with is residual abuse from my father's financial abuse of us.

I need to leave this place. There's so much fucking sorrow and pain here for me that I just want to forget and move on from. not to mention this state it's self is fucking miserable to live in.

And, we will be. It's just the waiting. The waiting hurts. But I'd rather keep waiting for a brighter tomorrow than do something I can't take back.

I want to see our pets happy and healthy again, in a house with furniture for them. Collars with their name tags and vet tags on them. All fluffy and talkative and cute again.

I want better healthcare access so that I can stop panicking about my dad's mortality- he's fine, but I am so scared I'll lose him to something avoidable before we have the stability to get checkups and such. I want the option available to fucking transition already. I need HRT. Life is so fucking miserable everyday that I can't start being myself finally.

I want a house that I actually like. A place that represents new opportunities and new memories and REAL TRUE FREEDOM, freedom from all this abuse, freedom from my miserable first quarter of life alive. Freedom from debt that was never our fucking fault. A place I can be lucid in, and maybe actually have energy in.

And we'll probably get it. It's just, the waiting.

The second person we are attempting to sell this piece of shit to, is someone who purchases and flips houses for a living. He's offered the same amount of money as our neighbor did.

I'm so fucking glad that the paperwork is all on my dad's side and that we even HAVE a house to sell in this current climate.

Because that means we might get to move into the house my dad thought we were going to have all those years ago. I can't begin to tell you how many lies our abuser told us.

[moonlit-imagines]

Ghost of Failure

TASM!Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: nwh spoilers, blood and death ment, also im sorry lmao

a/n: gif cred - @buckypascal also no there will not be a part 2 i am so sorry

prompt: anonymous: “hey!! Could i request being Peter Parker’s sibling (Andrew) oneshot and he thought reader died the same day that Gwen did reader comes to the universe bc they’re apart of the ppl who know Peter Parker and they meet again?? And then they’re fighting alongside all the Spider-Man with him as best as they can and he’s super protective (and it’s not weird at all just completely platonic)”

It all started ten years ago for Peter. You had just died due to a lethal electrocution and Gwen wasn’t too far behind, which made this day go down in history as Peter’s worst nightmare. He felt so lonely without Gwen, his first love, his broken promise—but you, his sibling? Without you, he was empty. Peter walked past the door of your unoccupied room every morning, wishing that just once more he could hear your music and bang on the door to tell you to turn it down. Or fight over the end of the milk carton. Or have you argue with him for waking you up when he sneaks back in the house at night. He missed you dearly and it destroyed him inside.

As his world, and many others, kept turning, he got bitter. Driven by grief. The two people he loved most had been taken from him and he had no choice but to blame himself. And in all these years, he never forgave or forgot.

But you were never a stranger to strange occurrences, so when you ended up in a different New York, you knew something was up. Not only was it a different place, it was a different time. “Oh…no.” You wondered if you should stay in place, or maybe try and call someone? Last you checked, Peter was fighting Electro and you were on standby, but who knows if that was still true. You grabbed your phone from your pocket and to your surprise, no bars—and a time glitch. “What the hell is going on?” You asked yourself and groaned, dropping your arms to your sides and throwing your head back. After a few moments of thinking, you decided to wander.

It wasn’t long before you walked straight into a portal. This was definitely not your New York at all.

“Hey!” You shouted, trying to push your way out of the dark cell you’d found yourself in. “What’s the deal?! Who are you? Where am I?!” You kept annoyingly knocking on the invisible division between captivity and freedom. “Peter..?” You squinted at the red-suited figure that walked from the shadows, the one who had just learned of his own mistakes.

“Yeah, that’s me…” The boy shyly replied while you recognized the fact that he was not your brother. “Who are you?”

“Who am I?” You raised your eyebrows. “Who are you? You sure aren’t Spider-Man.”

“Actually, I am,” he scratched the back of his head, feeling bad for putting you through all this confusion, “but I can explain. I kind of pulled you out of your universe by accident because Dr. Strange, him, he cast a spell that I messed up and so yeah. Sorry.” Peter rambled and you stared at him like he was crazy.

“Can you just let me out of here?” You asked exhaustedly. “I’ve had a rough day both here and home.” You leaned on the barrier and waited for it to disappear.

“Tell us who you are first.” Doctor Strange first asked.

“I’m y/n Parker.” You revealed, shocking this Peter immediately since he was an only child. “Judging by the look on your face, I don’t exist here.”

“You do not.” Peter gulped, maybe a little jealous of this other him. “Okay, can we let them out now?” He asked the wizard and the man hesitated. “Please, sir? They can help my friends find the others. I’m sure they have experience with this kind of thing, don’t you, y/n?”

“A lot, actually. Before I was taken from my world, I was fighting a man made of electricity who was trying to take all of New York offline to gain more power.” You explained and both looked at the wizard with begging eyes before he caved, waving his hand to release you. You first ran towards the variation of your brother and grabbed his hand to shake it. “Now, I have to say that this is so cool. I have living proof that the multiverse is real, this is so crazy.” You laughed and Peter just knew you were definitely his relative, no matter how far the family trees were rooted.

“You have no idea,” Peter smiled, but suddenly brought you in for a hug, “I never imagined meeting my sibling from another universe!” You hugged him back, he was your brother, after all. Sure reminded you of him.

“Speaking of siblings,” you veered off, “do you have any idea if my brother is here? I disappeared while he was in the middle of a catastrophic battle, he’s probably really worried about me.” Peter had a sorry look on his face, making you wonder if you said something wrong.

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t know. But my friends are on their way! They’re gonna help me track everyone down online, so you can help find him!” He exclaimed and you perked up. “Wanna get a head start?” You nodded and Peter took you to a laptop that looked a bit newer.

“Peter, what year is it?” You decided to ask a strange question and he humored you.

“2024.” He said and your jaw dropped.

“It was 2014 two hours ago, Peter.” You mumbled and heard a chuckle from the shadows, looking up to see a familiar, scaly face. “Doctor Conners?” You asked in disbelief. “You’re a lizard again…”

“Hello, Mx. Parker.” The creature greeted, surprising your new friend. “We seem to be in the same boat.”

“He’s from your universe?” Peter curiously asked, more curious as to why the man looked like a beast.

“Yeah, he was my dad’s partner, another scientist. Smart guy, but it got to be a little much when he tried to turn all of New York into lizards as a little science experiment.” You explained, excited to try out this laptop from the future as you looked away from old memories and powered it up.

“You and your brother refuse to understand my work. As lizards, we would have functioned better as a community.” Dr. Conners replied and you scoffed.

“Yeah, but we’d also be lizards.” You would have kept bickering, but Peter’s friends arrived and got to meet his very own multiversal sibling. They were nothing short of amazed by the discovery.

“So you know this lizard guy?!” His friend, Ned, asked, partially because he thought it was a dinosaur that wanted to eat him. While you conversed with Peter’s friends, you stumbled across a new discovery. Another threat.

“Peter, check it out.” You pointed to the screen at several reports describing a strange figure flying about. “This your guy? The one you were searching for?” Peter took a look and pulled his mask on.

“I’m gonna check it out, you guys sit tight!” He rushed out of the room and went on his way to capture this guy, especially with his enhanced web shooter in his artillery. While you waited for your new “friend” to arrive, you indulged in some otherworldly snacks while Peter’s friends flipped out trying to figure out what was going on. You hadn’t put it together through the fuzzy connection on the screen, but when he appeared in the cell a few minutes later, you froze.

“Max?” You finally stepped into view and heard him begin to laugh.

“Looks like I’m seeing a ghost.” He commented as you walked closer, seeing your puzzled expression and only growing more entertained. “Oh, so that didn’t happen yet?”

“What are you talking about?” You questioned as the room went quiet, intrigued by your conversation.

“Last you remember, you were in our world, right? And I was doing my thing, taking all the power, fighting your brother?” Max recounted the events you’d just lived and you nodded your response. “Yeah, I killed you. Yet here you are.”

“Yeah, here I am.” You shot back and stormed away with an uncomfortable feeling in your chest. When you reconvened with Ned and MJ, they pulled you closer and began their whispers.

“What is he talking about?” MJ asked and you shook your head.

“Nothing. I don’t know. He’s lost it, trust me.” You peered over your shoulder to see his sinister smile, staring right at you.

It wasn’t long before Peter and Strange came back and the while situation was explained to you all. Everyone here had died while fighting your brother, but you had died helping him. Electro wasn’t lying when he said he took you out, so he started laughing again.

“What are you laughing at, man? You die like, ten minutes after me.” You snapped at him and he shrugged.

“Yeah, but at least I got back at Spider-Man.” Max told you and you rolled your eyes, landing them on Peter. You knew exactly what he was thinking, he was just like your brother. So he vouched for a way to save you all so he didn’t have your blood on his hands. It just so happened that the wizard wasn’t having it, so Peter took things into his own hands.

“Y/N, MJ, Ned,” Peter addressed you with the box that could save or end you with a press of a button, “take this and do not press the button until I say so. I have to give them a chance, give you a chance.” Peter looked to you and you grabbed him for another hug.

“Thank you, Peter.” You tried not to burst into tears at your seemingly inevitable future.

“Of course, y/n. It’s what brothers do.” He loved calling himself that. Peter then pat you on the back and sent you on your way, your new meeting place at Ned’s lola’s house. Hours went by and you grew more terrified by the moment. Your death sentence was sitting on the dining room table and a very protective girlfriend had it in her grips.

“I’m gonna press it.” MJ whispered to Ned.

“No! Are you really gonna do that to y/n?” Ned fought with her with more whispers while you sat in the living room with your thoughts alone.

“It’s them or him, Ned.” She argued and looked back at the worrying images on the television. “He put me in charge of it for a reason. We haven’t heard from him in hours.”

“I just wish we could see Peter.” Ned raised his hands and sparks flew near you. Startled, you jumped back and looked over at two confused teens, deciding to join them. So he did it again, and this time a full-fledged portal opened and from afar, you saw Spider-Man. A Spider-Man more recognizable to you than anyone else.

“Peter?” You tilted your head and waited for him to come through the portal. And when he did, he was in for a big surprise. You.

“Y/N?” He ripped off his mask in disbelief and you smiled while his eyes glossed over and he ran into you for the biggest hug he’d ever given another soul. “Y/N. It’s really you. Oh, my god.” He sobbed and you held him tight. For you, it’d been a day. For him, it’d been a decade. And his guilt for your death had eaten him alive, so seeing you in the flesh had completely shook him to his core.

“How long?” You decided to check your brother’s timeline.

“Ten years. Ten horrible, horrible years. Oh, my god. I missed you. I’m so sorry, y/n. I’m sorry.” He gripped you tightly, letting it all out as the rest of the room spectated your reunion, Ned and MJ shedding a few tears. “This is another universe, huh?”

“It is.” You had spilled a few tears of your own, wiping them away as you pulled away and looked at your aged brother. “And a few of your old friends are here, too. Doctor Conners and Max Dillon.” You told him and his face dropped at the name of your killer, his bitterness flooding his body in that immediate moment. “He told me what he did.”

“Did he, now?” Peter balled his fists and you grabbed his arm to calm him. “He took you away from me, y/n. He took my sibling away from me. And then I lost Gwen…” He trailed off and your expression dropped.

“Gwen’s gone?” You mumbled and Peter nodded, choking back tears as he relived that fateful day. You slid your hand down to his own and grabbed it in solidarity.

“Harry, he dropped her from the top of a clocktower only an hour or two after you were gone. I tried to catch her, but…” You gulped, understanding the amount he lost in such a short period of time. It broke your heart that you couldn’t have been there for him, and that she wasn’t there for him. Just him and Aunt May. Oh, she must have been devastated at the news of both of your passings.

“Peter…” You whispered and hugged him once more. He needed your embrace, it had been missing from his life for too long. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” he grabbed you and looked you in the eye, “you have nothing to be sorry for. I failed you.” Peter just looked at you a minute and smiled. “I’m just so glad I get another chance to see you.”

“Pete, we were working on curing all the villains that ended up in this world, there’s a few from another universe that needed help, too. Thing is, they all died in their worlds.” You explained to him, knowing that’s something he’d absolutely approve of, despite the anger that festered deep within. “It’ll give them another chance, make sure that they don’t die in their final battles.”

“That’s…that’s great, okay. So where are they?” He asked.

“Well, about that…” Ned interjected and chuckled. “We can’t find our Peter. We have no idea what is going on.” Your brother turned to you, who had a very awkward smile on your face. “I can try again, though!” It wasn’t too much of a surprise when another Peter showed up. But this was no time for socializing, there were much more pressing matters.

Your brother didn’t want to let you out of his sight, that was his mistake all those years ago. And when you were helping him and the other Peter’s with these cures, he was the happiest he had been in a long time. Like not a day had passed.

“Peter, Peter, I have to talk to you.” You pulled him aside and he broke out of his joyous mood. “Hey, listen…I just, I don’t know if they can save me, okay? Don’t—Don’t get your hopes up.”

“What do you mean? Of course we can, we will.” Peter grasped your hands and you began to cry, knowing that you were inches from the end and if he lost you again, he’d be destroyed. “What? Why are you so worried?”

“Peter, I die before Max does.” You told him. “I’m already gone.”

“So we send you back with, uh, uh, with something to ground you. You know, so the shock travels through you? Or maybe another device that’ll absorb the energy.” Peter sparked some ideas for you, but you still weren’t convinced, just scared.

“What if that’s not how it works?” You replied and took a deep breath, looking back at the others working so hard to save the bad guys. “Peter, I need you to be prepared for the worst.”

“The worst has already happened, y/n.” Your brother hadn’t tired of hugging you yet, this was still a gift to him, seeing you. And the chance that he could right this wrong was all the more reason to keep working. “I’m gonna do everything I can to get you back, don’t worry. You deserve…” His voice cracked. “You deserve to live your life, okay? I’m gonna make sure you can.” He walked off to his station, shoving everything aside and working on your “cure.” You accepted his help and grabbed his work in progress devices, putting the finishing touches on Conners’ and even Max’s—with some hesitation.

The rest of the group paused a moment, seeing two siblings working in perfect unison with a common goal in mind. To them, it was a feat. To you, same old, same old. Nothing had changed, that was the same Peter you’d parted from despite the years that went by.

“I…think…I…got it!” Peter attached one more wire to his creation and presented it to you proudly. “This is it, y/n. This is gonna save you, okay? Just, just strap it on here,” he instructed, doing it himself as he put this harness over your arms and secured it behind your back, “and keep it on no matter what. Got it?” You nodded slowly, looking down to examine the device that would supposedly prevent your fate.

“Thanks, Peter.” You told him, still hesitant about the past and future of you.

“It’s gonna work, y/n. I swear.” Peter assured you and you avoided eye contact with him. It’s not that you didn’t trust him, but things never worked out right for you guys. Your parents, your uncle, the spider thing, Gwen’s dad, Gwen…and you.

“I know, I believe you.” You forced a smile and gave him a high five. “We did it, let’s do this!” You cheered and the lot of Spiders and friends joined in, hoping for success.

“Okay, we gotta go, but I’ll see you soon.” Your brother winked and you took a deep breath, trying not to start shaking before him. “Just stay here, you’ll be safe here.” You agreed and watched him leave, but just before he made it out the door, you yelled:

“Love you, Pete!” He turned back and waved to you with a huge, hopeful smile and tears in his eyes from what would be a true success.

“Love you more, y/n!” You laughed and let him go, taking a seat on one of the school science lab stools and started fidgeting with the sink handles, on and off and on and off.

“Are you okay?” MJ and Ned asked after staring at you for some time.

“Oh, yeah,” you scooted back from the distraction and leaned on the table instead, “just waiting for something to happen.”

“Oh, then watch this! I think I’ve got this magic thing down!” Ned turned to face the wall and lifted his hands, asking to find Peter Parker and actually managing to do it this time. You witnessed the exchange of the magic box and your stomach sank again. That thing and you were not on the same side. But you had to stop focusing on that once Ned was unable to close the portal and there was an open doorway from the battle straight to you.

“Close it!” You urgently shouted. “Ned!” You ran forward and looked out to the distant harbor past the Statue. All seemed alright for just a minute.

“So, you got a sibling?” Peter 2 asked your brother while they waited for trouble. “We were on our own, you’re lucky.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Peter 3 chuckled and looked down from this height. “Yeah, I wish I were lucky. I messed up, got them killed. I just really hope this works, I need some luck.” He explained to his variant and shrugged off his bad feelings. “But hey, I got to see y/n for the first time in ten years! How awesome is that?” Peter 2 rested his hand on your brother’s back.

“It’s gonna work, Peter. Wanna know why?” Your brother cocked his eyebrow, curious to his answer. “Because you made it. It’s what we do.”

“I guess you’re right.” He chuckled and let some of his anxieties go just in time for the villains to arrive. But this time, Peter knew you were safe. Far, far away from here.

“Ned, just close the damn portal!” You shouted while sounds of violence traveled to you. “Oh, my god, Ned, you’re gonna kill us all.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to close it, I’ve never had to!” He kept waving his hands back and forth.

“I know! I’m sorry, I’m not trying to yell at you, I’m just freaking out!” You shouted back and caught glimpse of your world’s villains. “Please, this is insane.”

“Ned, just tell it to close the portal!” MJ pitched in and gave advice already thought of. You all continued your bickering for some time until the worst happened, you were spotted by a Doctor Curtis Conners.

“Really, Conners? My dad and you go way back and you’re gonna try to kill me?” You argued with the creature while running for your life.

“You can thank your brother.” Lizard snarled and you booked it to the portal, probably the worst place you could have decided to go, but at least there were superheroes there. It was just the matter of avoiding the bad guys. Which you immediately failed at.

“Hey, y/n. long time, no see.” Max Dillon hovered before you with an evil grin as you stepped back. “Why don’t I put us back on track?”

“Peter!” You screamed for any one of them, needing someone to save the day.

“Not then and not now, kid.” He charged up and hit you dead on, flooding your device with electricity. You took it as best as you could before your brother swung your way, giving a swift kick in the face to dear ol’ Max before landing in front of you.

“Are you okay?” Peter ran up to you and looked down at the device. “Oh, no.”

“It’s toast.” You tapped on the front, singed from the blast. “All shorted out. But hey, it worked!”

“Y/N, go back to the lab and fix it. You have to fix it.” Peter instructed and your face dropped. “What’s the matter?”

“Conners destroyed the lab. Ned couldn’t close the portal and he found us.” You told your brother and all hope flushed from his face.

“Just—Just go back, okay? Try.” He told you, knowing it was a lost cause. You just snuck away and tried to make yourself as small a target as possible until the firefight was over. And when it was…

“Peter, hey, we tried, we did.” You assured him as Dr. Strange started his spells, defending this universe from impending doom.

“No, don’t talk like that, y/n. I can still fix it, give it to me.” Peter grabbed the device and opened it up to find completely shot wiring and a fried circut board.

“There’s no time.” You gently grabbed his wrist and pulled him forward one last time, gripping him tightly as he did the same and sobbed. “I love you, Peter. Thank you for trying.”

“I love you more. I’m so, so sorry. I should have never dragged you into this.” He cried into your shoulder and you gulped, choking back your tears for just a moment longer.

“This isn’t your fault, Peter. I made my choice. Please don’t blame yourself. Please keep on living for me.” You began to sob yourself as the others gave you looks of pity. All of the ones guilty of murder and destruction were going home with a new chance, but you were a teenager without a single sin who was being sentenced to death once again.

“Wait, wait, wait.” He desperately walked back and grabbed a large piece of metal, looking up at the repairing sky. “Hold this. Don’t let go, okay.” He handed it to you and you hesitantly accepted it, knowing that he was desperate. “Keep your feet together, too. I don’t know, maybe this can still work, just try it for me. If you can, connect that to another piece of metal and do not let go, I will find you. I did find you. It was just too late.” You heard the story of your death from another perspective and died on the inside, feeling more sorrow for your brother than yourself. Seeing that must have haunted him for years. You could see in his eyes, it still does.

“Okay. I’ll try.” You took a deep breath out and looked at all the friends you made along the way. “Thank you guys for everything, you really are amazing in every sense of the word.” You smiled through your hiccups and turned to your brother as you began to fade with your heavy piece of metal truss in hand. “Remember what I said, okay?” Peter frowned and nodded to you, and you soon reappeared right where you left off, bracing yourself for electrical impact.

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @johnmurphyisqueer // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @brutal-out-here // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @resplendentlady // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @dindjarinsspouse // @werewolf-himbo // @lost-fantasy // @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom // @summersimmerus // @cipheress-to-k-pop // @augustvandyne // @spoodermans // @the-did-i-ask // @glxwingrxse // @scarthefangirl // @cyanide-mustard // @druigmybelovedone // @beth-gallagher22 // @bad4amficideas // @magnificentzombiebasement // @sheridans-dynamos // @seraphinevalentine // @mystic-writings //

[watchmegetobsessed]

SLEEPLESS

a/n: omg! it's been so long since i last wrote something for harry so it feels a bit weird but in a good way to be back. i've been spending more time offline so writing hasn't been going that fast like before, but im working on a few other stuff too! just please be patient with me, im trying my besti swear! so now enjoy this oneshot of two oblivious and stupid roommates who start sharing a bed...

pairing: Roommate!Harry x reader

word count: 8.1k

masterlist

Living with three boys has its perks but also a lot of downsides too. It’s not how you planned, you were set to move in with one of your friends from second year, but she bailed on you last minute, leaving you with no place to live when most of the houses were already taken for the next at least one year. You were bracing yourself to sleep under a bridge or something already when your heroes came along.

You went to high school with Harry Niall and Louis, but you weren’t exactly in the same friend group, just knew about each other. Then you ended up in the same Lit class freshman year with Harry and he was basically your pass into their little group. You hit it off pretty easily and you always wondered why you didn’t become friends before college. Later you had two more classes with him in the second semester and it was just all a coincidence that he found out about your living situation.

“Why don’t you move in with us?” he prompted one afternoon when you were studying together in the library.

“I’m not sharing a room with any of you, Harry,” you sighed, shaking your head.

“You wouldn’t have to. We had a fourth mate living with us but he dropped out about a month ago. You could take his bedroom.”

“Are for real? You should talk about it with the boys first, don’t you think?”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it. They like you too and if I’m being honest, the place could use the touch of a woman,” he smirked and you just rolled your eyes, but you were incredibly thankful for the offer.

So after talking with Niall and Louis about it and once they gave their amens on the situation, you officially moved in with the three of them.

You’d be lying if you said there hasn’t been times when you thought about choosing the bridge, living with boys is not exactly a dream. They are messy, sometimes loud and oblivious about certain things women do and need. You’ll never forget Niall’s face when you packed the shelf above the toilet with your tampons and pads. The horror in his eyes as he examined all the different sizes and types.

“But why so many? I don’t get it why you need the large ones and the mini ones too,” he huffed.

“Because I vary them according to the strength of my flow.”

“Bless you,” he scoffed and just walked away.

They tend to leave their clothes around the house and they don’t always realize when it’s time to let some fresh air into the place either. Harry has a sixth sense wanting to use the bathroom when you’re in and Louis always forgets to get rid of his spoiled food from the fridge. Tini things that surely got you thinking if it was a good idea to move in with them. But then there are times when you can’t even imagine sharing a home with anyone else than these three idiots.

The way Harry always leaves you a cup of coffee on the counter when he has an early class on mondays and wednesdays, how Niall always waits for you to get home after your night shifts at the restaurant you’ve been working at, but he always just says he was watching Supernatural on TV. You love that Louis goes out of his way to get you your favorite pastry for breakfast on sundays when he goes for his morning runs. But the absolute best is that you never feel alone or bored with these three around. Something is always happening and they make sure to involve you in everything, making you feel like part of their little pack.

Tonight is Thursday and Thursdays are movie nights in your home. It’s been a tradition since the first week and you haven’t missed any of them. Sitting on the couch at your usual spot, you laugh as Niall growls in annoyance when you suggest to watch another rom-com.

“Not again!” he protests, sitting on the floor by the coffee table you and Harry thrifted a few months ago after the previous one was broken at a smaller party held in the house.

“Why? I bet Harry would love it!” you grin, glancing at the guy in talk who is now entering the room with a big bowl of popcorn.

“Of course he would, because he is a pussy! And the two of you always team up, dragging Louis with you so I can never watch something I enjoy!” Niall whines as Harry sits next to you, not too bothered by his friend’s cries.

“Come on, I bet you enjoyed Crazy, Stupid Love last week!” you laugh, remembering how he whined for the first part, then fell asleep at the end.

“Love, if you think that was enjoyment, I wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend,” Niall scoffs and you gasp at his reply.

“Hey!” you snap at him, but can’t help laughing. This is how it always goes with you and Niall, the non-stop bickering can sometimes drive Harry and Lou insane.

“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” Harry asks, throwing some popcorn into his mouth as he gets comfortable, an arm resting on the back of the couch behind you, the other one busy with the snack in his lap.

“There is this new horror I’ve been dying to see!” Niall’s blue eyes light up right away, but you’re fast to break that shine.

“Nah, no way. I’m not watching a horror movie.”

“Why not?”

“Because I fucking hate them and they scare the shit out of me.”

“That’s like the whole point!” he protests, but you shake your head no again.

“What are you fighting about again?” Louis asks, walking into the room after his quick shower, the smell of his body wash filling the room for a few moments.

“I want to watch a horror movie, but Y/N is a little baby and she doesn’t want to.”

“I’m not a baby! I just don’t enjoy watching people get killed or demons sucking the life out of someone!” Niall just rolls his eyes at your response.

“But it’s always what you or Harry wants to watch, why can’t I choose just this once?”

“That’s not true, we watch movies you like too!” you retort, but Niall gives you an unimpressed look. “We watched that crime thing, that was your choice!”

“That was three months ago, Y/N,” he sighs and as you do some quick math you realize that he is right.

“Hey, he has a point. Let’s just watch what he wants this one time, yeah?” Harry curls his arm that’s been on the back of the couch around your shoulder and he pulls you to his side, squeezing you gently.

“But I hate horrors,” you pout, knowing well that it’s already kind of settled, you lost this battle.

“It’s just a movie. And if you get scared in the night, you can sleep at mine,” he offers with a wink that surely makes your heartbeat fasten a bit.

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a tiny crush on Harry, even back in high school, when you didn’t really know him. He was the cool guy, but not the douchebag type, more like the one that was nice to everyone and earned their respect and liking. Getting to know him just proved that he really is a great guy, but you figured he would never feel the same way about you. These three guys only saw you as their sister and that was in a way kinda worse than being friend zoned, but there’s nothing you can do about it, so you just decided to come to peace with your situation. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered when you see him wander around the house in just his boxers or when he gets a little touchy with you, which happens a lot, because that’s just how he is. Hands on your shoulders, a little squeeze on your hips, the gentle touch of his fingers on your back, they happen all the time and they get your pulse up every time. You can only hope it’s not that noticeable.

Niall finally gets what he wants and you agree to watch that stupid horror movie. It doesn’t start off too bad, but it quickly escalates and makes you shudder every time the screen gets a little darker or the music is foreshadowing that something is about to happen.

“Jesus fuck!” you jump a little when the killer appears out of nowhere in the scene.

“You alright?” Harry asks, peeking down at you.

“I fucking hate this dude,” you mumble, rubbing your face with your hands, to get your shit together. Harry chuckles lightly next to you, his arm pulling you to his side close and you gladly sink against him, the warmth of his body giving you some comfort and a sense of safety.

Your eyes are on the screen, but your mind is dancing around how his fingers are delicately running up and down your arm, drawing circles and little shapes on your skin. It could put you to sleep easily, even with the woman screaming on the screen after seeing her husband get killed.

“Just imagine the guy with a funny mustache,” Harry murmurs, leaning closer to you so he doesn’t bother the other two guys with his comment. “Or maybe in a ridiculous outfit.”

“Like… in a onsie?” you ask, squinting your eyes at the screen.

“Could be, yeah,” he chuckles quietly. “Just imagine him running through the woods in a onsie with bunnies all over it.”

You can’t push your laughter down, covering your mouth with your hand so you don’t bother the others. Harry just smirks, giving you a squeeze as you’re still melted against his side on the couch, legs pulled up to your chest, while his are spread out in front of him.

“Definitely not that scary,” you giggle and Harry hums in agreement.

“Would you mind getting a fucking room, you guys? You have two, in fact!” Niall snaps at you playfully, when you start laughing again.

“Sorry, sorry!” you clear your throat, your cheeks heating up at the comment, but luckily it’s dark enough to hide your embarrassment. Niall is always quick to make dirty jokes and tease you in a way that makes you nervous, especially when it involves Harry as well. He has made plenty of comments about you and Harry since you’ve moved in, implying that the two of you sometimes act like a couple or that you should hook up. Harry is always quick to shake them off, that’s how you know he couldn’t even take the thought seriously.

At the end of the movie you feel like it wasn’t bad, not with Harry holding you close at least.

“Will you be screaming tonight, Y/N?” Niall teases you, making you roll your eyes at him.

“Either way it’s gonna be your fault.”

“I can live with that!” he laughs, bidding his goodbye before he shuts the door of his bedroom behind him.

You do your usual evening routine, get ready to bed and by the time you’re done in the bathroom all the boys have retired into their rooms. The hallway stands dark in front of you, only a tiny bit of light coming from your bedroom since you left your bedside lamp on in there, but you still can’t help the eerie feeling that washes over you. That movie didn’t sit right with you and now you have to face the aftermath of it.

Switching the lights in the bathroom off you sprint into your bedroom, pictures from the movie flashing in your mind of the killer just jumping out of nowhere. You shut the door and lean your back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. Tonight is going to be long.

No matter how hard you try, you just can’t fall asleep. You’re way too alerted, opening your eyes at the tiniest of sounds around you, which is unfortunate, because your window is looking over the main street, unlike two other rooms in the house, that are facing the small backyard. Harry and Louis have the luck to have those rooms.

Every time you’re about to fall asleep something from the movie sneaks into your thoughts and you get scared to death. Soon, you realize you won’t be able to sleep on your own tonight.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you wonder if Harry really meant that offer that you can sleep with him or not. Part of you is convinced it was just a joke, but when you hear someone shouting down the street you push your doubts aside and you quickly find yourself making your way to Harry’s room.

You knock on the room lightly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. The last thing you need is Niall seeing you go into Harry’s room in the middle of the night.

No answer comes from inside, but you won’t just leave it at that. Opening the door you’re facing another dark room, barely making out the furniture, but you already know the route by heart. Making it to the bed your eyes finally adjust to the darkness and you can see Harry lying on his side, sleeping peacefully. Squatting down you place a hand to his shoulder and give him a tiny shake.

“Harry?” you call out quietly, but his answer is just a huff. “Harry, it’s me,” you try again, squeezing his arm. He furrows his eyebrows before slowly blinking his eyes open, finding you in his sight.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks in that groggy, low voice you love hearing in the morning so much.

“I can’t… Did you mean that I can sleep here if I’m scared?” you ask, afraid that he might just have a good laugh and send you back to your room. For a long moment, he just blinks at you before nodding his head and you feel relief washing over you.

“Sure,” he hums.

“O-okay then I’ll bring a blanket and take the floor and--”

“Shut up, you are not sleeping on the floor,” he growls, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into bed with him as he scoots over, making you space on the mattress.

It’s a bit weird at first, lying in bed with Harry, especially because it’s just queen sized, so there’s not much space between the two of you, but it seems like Harry doesn’t mind it so why should you?

Your nerves are a lot calmer with Harry next to you, but maybe it’s still because of the movie or because you’re a bit anxious about the whole situation, you just still can’t relax enough to fall asleep.

“Y/N, no one is gonna kill you here,” Harry speaks up surprising you because you thought he has already fallen back asleep.

“I know, I know,” you whisper, trying to sound convincing, but you can’t fool anyone, especially not him.

He huffs deeply and before you could realize what’s happening, Harry’s arm is curled around your waist, pulling you against him, spooning you from behind, the warmth of his body wrapping your figure almost entirely.

“If a murderer comes, they will have to fight me first, alright? Now sleep,” he mumbles against your hair, squeezing you gently. All at once, you couldn’t care about killers and dark shadows around you, because Harry was right there, holding you tight and there was nowhere you wanted to be more than right there.

You slept like a baby. Harry’s closeness kept every nightmare away from you and the morning came with ease. Harry’s phone wakes the two of you up at eight, because he has a morning class at 9.30. The two of you are completely tangled up in each other, lying on your side facing each other, Harry’s arms are wrapped around you, while yours are hugging his waist. Groaning at the sound of his alarm, he rolls to his back to reach for the phone on the nightstand and then he finally turns it off. It’s bright outside, the darkness of the night finally long gone. You’re still groggy when Harry rolls back, his arm coming back around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world and in a sense, it feels like that. But as you both slowly wake up, you realize that you might be a little too close. Slowly but surely you let go of each other, rolling to your back, staring up at the ceiling.

“Hope I didn’t kick you in my sleep,” you smile at him, peeking over at him, hoping to break the awkwardness of the situation.

“No, don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, rubbing his eyes, before pushing himself up and off the bed. You follow him with your gaze as he steps to his dresser and grabs a pair of clean underwear. “I’ll put on a coffee while I shower, want one too?” he asks, though you know he could make one for you anyway.

“Sure, thank you,” you nod and he nods back, yawning as he walks out of the room, leaving you lying in his bed, a bit confused and kind of aching to be held by him again.

Two days pass by, everything is going as per usual, neither you nor Harry brings up that you spent the night in his bed that one particular time. Now it’s saturday and you all were planning to go out, but a sudden storm has cancelled your plans, so the evening turned into a cozy, lazy hangout instead of a wild party at some frat house.

Louis decided to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks, Niall has been relentlessly swiping on Tinder while you and Harry are spawled out on the couch, watching some shitty action movie that was on TV, since you both were too lazy to choose one and put it on. Deep down you’re a little happy you don’t have to spend the evening in a crowded, smelly house, drinking cheap alcohol.

Harry gets up from his seat to grab himself a drink just when Niall growls in annoyance.

“What is it?” you ask.

“They keep unmatching with me after we’ve talked a little!”

“Have you thought about the reason?” you smirk at him, knowing well that Niall probably isn’t the easiest to talk to, he surely takes it too far too soon.

“Well they probably don’t like that I ask them if I can go over,” he shrugs, making you laugh.

“You’d go over in the pouring rain?” Harry asks, returning to his spot on the couch. He puts his drink to the coffee table and instead of sitting into his previous position, leaning against the arm of the couch, he lies down, laying his head to your thigh, making your breath hitch for a moment.

“Of course not!” Niall rolls his eyes. “But I thought it would make them think I would do anything for them.”

“It makes you seem desperate,” Harry retorts, earning a questioning look from his friend. “What? It does!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes it does,” you nod in agreement. “Going over in the middle of a storm just to fuck? Sounds like you’re having a hard time finding someone.”

“Women are so fucking complicated, and for what?!” he growls, before storming off to his bedroom, like an angsty teenager, leaving you and Harry alone.

He doesn’t move, his head stays on your thigh using it as a pillow. His curls are tickling the soft skin on your thigh and you have to fight the urge to play with his hair or scratch his scalp. You stay like this for the rest of the movie and when he gets up you almost want to pull him back.

“Alright, I’m fucked, I’m gonna go to bed,” he yawns, stretching his arms out into the air as he heads into his bedroom. “Good night, Y/N.”

“Night, Harry!” you call after him as you watch his frame disappear down the hallway.

Sighing, you slide down on the couch, cursing under your breath that you’re still so hung up on Harry. You really thought that you had it under control, but lately those damn butterflies are acting up in your stomach at everything he does.

“I’m pathetic,” you mumble under your breath just as the sky rumbles outside with a blinding lightning, making you jump with a squeak. “Shit,” you huff, already knowing that falling asleep will be a pain in the ass. Again.

You’ve always hated storms, they make you think that something bad is about to happen, a tree is about to fall into the window or a lightning will blow up the building. It’s kind of stupid, you know it, but you just can’t help it.

Tossing and turning, you jump every time a lightning flashes somewhere outside and a few seconds later the thunder rips through your whole body, almost making you fall off the bed.

“Oh God,” you let out a shaky breath. You have no idea how long it is until the Storm finally stops and you’d really like to have a good night's sleep. So pushing your anxious thoughts to the side, you get out of bed and head over to Harry’s room once again.

It’s such a deja vu from a few nights ago, as you gently knock on the door you wait again, but this time you actually get an answer.

“Yeah?” you hear him call out from inside and you slowly open the door, peeking your head inside. Harry is lying in bed, his head propped up against the headboard as he is scrolling through his phone. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks, putting the phone aside as he sits up.

“I just, I-I know it’s stupid, but I was thinking… I don’t know--”

“Y/N, just tell me, alright? Come on in,” he gestures for you and you slip into the room, closing the door behind you before sitting to the edge of the bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep during storms…” you admit, looking into his eyes, hoping he gets the hint where you want to head with it. He stares back at you for a moment before he scoots over, lifting the covers up, giving you the green light to join him.

Relieved, you climb over to him, making yourself comfortable as he wraps the blanket over you, his arm immediately coming to cradle you, this time pulling you to his chest so your head is laid upon his shoulder, a hand gently placed onto his hard chest, probably right above where his butterfly tattoo is adorning his abdomen.

This is now easily your favorite place. Safe and tight in Harry’s arms, protected from anything and everything, like you’re in a little bubble as soon as you get on his bed.

Lightning strikes outside again and you shiver a little. Harry probably notices it, because he tightens his hold around you, as if it’s his way telling you that he is here and nothing bad is gonna happen. Eventually, you’re able to shut the outside out and only focus on Harry’s warmth, the touch of his hand on your arm and his even breathing. And then finally, you drift off to sleep.

This morning is different from the previous one you spent here. There’s no alarm since it’s Sunday, neither of you have anything in particular to do, so you wake up feeling rested, the Sun shining through his half drawn in curtains, no trace of last night’s storm can be noticed from where you’re lying in bed, the sky is as clear as ever. Sometime during the night you got tangled in a way where Harry is the one now cuddling you, his head lying on your chest, hugging you as if you were a giant teddy bear, his leg thrown between yours, lightly snoring against your sleep shirt. You can only see his mop of hair and the urge to play with them is back, but this time, you give in.

Leaving one hand on his back, you move the other one to his unruly locks, gently playing with one before you comb your fingers through it, lightly scratching his scalp. Harry hums in pleasure, shifting from his dreams back to reality, but he doesn’t move, just keeps humming as you massage his scalp.

“It’s not a good morning, it’s the best,” he mumbles groggily, making you chuckle at his words.

One of his hands is flat against your ribcage and the damned butterflies start dancing when you feel his fingers gently stroke your side as you keep playing with his curls. This feels so idyllic, as if you’ve been like this forever. You wish that was true.

Groaning as he stretches, Harry rolls to his back, making you instantly miss his body pressed against yours. He rubs his eyes, sighing deep as he blinks up at the ceiling a few times, then he turns his head to the side, looking at you.

Just when he is about to say something, outside his door it sounds like someone just broke a pile of plates and it’s followed by Niall’s usual annoyed growl. You both get out of bed to go and check what happened, not even thinking about how it might appear that you both are coming from Harry’s room in the morning.

Harry flings the door open and there is Niall, collecting pieces of a plate from the floor, his breakfast scattered down the hallway as well while he curses under his breath.

“What happened?” Harry asks, picking up a bigger piece from the plate.

“Fucking tripped,” he growls back, glancing up just for a moment, then back down, but then he processes that you’re standing behind Harry, in his room, in the morning. “What the fuck are you doing in Harry’s room?” he bluntly asks, quickly forgetting about the mess he just made.

“What?” you ask nervously, your pulse quickening in an instant. Harry stands up, seemingly not too bothered by Niall’s question.

“You slept in his room?!”

“She did,” Harry answers, leaning against the doorframe.

“Wait, are you two fucking?” Niall’s eyes widen, snapping back and forth between you and Harry.

“Just because two people sleep in the same bed, doesn’t mean they are fucking, Niall,” Harry chuckles, seemingly amused by the situation that’s got your stomach knotted. Louis’ door opens and he walks out, his hair a little messy, but already dressed, a mug halfway filled with coffee in his hand.

“Wha’s this circus out here?” he asks, looking around, his eyes scanning over the mess on the floor.

“Did you know these two are fucking?” Niall asks him and Harry lets his head drop back at his words.

“Are you?” Louis simply questions and you shake your head no.

“We are not. Y/N can’t sleep in a storm so she came over to mine.”

“Funny, she doesn’t come to me when she’s scared,” Niall scoffs.

“I never came to you because you don’t understand that sleeping together doesn’t mean sex,” you retort, though your ears are practically burning from the rising anxiety inside you.

“Wait, whoa. This wasn’t the first time you two slept together?”

“She was scared after your stupid horror movie too,” Harry shrugs.

“Wow, so are you guys a thing now or what?”

“Niall!” Harry growls and you’re not entirely sure what bothers you more. Niall’s shock and interrogation or the way Harry seems so cool and unbothered, like it’s no big deal. Maybe because for him it really isn’t, it’s only about the sleeping, nothing else, even though the cuddles are a little beyond the lines of friendship.

“What? I’m just asking the important stuff! Am I not allowed to tell dirty jokes to Y/N because you’ll cut my prick off?”

“You shouldn’t tell those anyway,” Louis chimes in and you nod in agreement.

Seeing that the conversation is just getting more and more awkward with each passing moment you decide to pull yourself out of it. Pushing yourself past Harry you mumble an excuse me before rushing back into your room, the three boys eyeing you curiously as you shut the door behind you, finally putting a physical barrier between you and them.

You shouldn’t be this offended, it’s not like any promises were made and you should have known better and not fall for him more than you already did. It was silly of you to think that there was anything more behind these nights spent curled up against each other, or when you woke up tangled and melted together. It was never what you hoped it to be.

Then and there you decide it’s better if you distanced yourself from him, or at least go back to how it was before. No bed sharing, no cuddling and preferably no bitter feelings.

It all goes well, because you have a pretty busy week after that day, you always have something to do and it’s not like you spent the night with Harry randomly, so it was evident that you stayed in your room so far.

But about a week later another storm was threatening to strike. The sky was gradually darkening all afternoon and now it’s only five o’clock, but it feels like eight. It’s Sunday, you’re quite exhausted since you were working until three. Niall was out somewhere with some of his coursemates and Louis went home for the weekend, won’t be back until Tuesday. It’s just you and Harry, who’s been sprawled out on the couch in only his sweatpants while you’re making yourself an early dinner so you can go to bed soon and have a good night’s sleep.

It doesn’t take long for the rain to start pouring, you’ve just gotten out of the shower when the first thunder rips through the place, making you gasp in fear. Harry’s head snaps around, looking in your way where you’re standing at the bathroom door, a questioning look in his eyes, but he doesn’t say a word. Ignoring his gaze, you just make your way into your bedroom, not even thinking about what could be on his mind. Is he thinking about whether you’ll ask to sleep with him again or he doesn’t care about it at all?

By the time you are ready to go to bed, the storm is fully raging outside, making your insides tremble every time you see a lightning or the thunder breaks the quietness in the house. You make one last trip to the kitchen, finding Harry leaned against the counter as he eats an apple.

“Going to bed early?” he asks as you pour yourself some water.

“Mhm,” you nod, avoiding looking at him.

“Everything alright?”

“Sure, I’m just tired,” you force a small smile onto your face just when a thunder rumbles outside, making you jump. Harry is watching you curiously and kind of expectantly, but you’re doing your best ignoring it. Instead, you just grab your water and head back to your room. “Good night.”

“Night, Y/N,” he calls after you, and you can feel his burning gaze on your back right until you close the door behind you.

Your plan to sleep a good ten hours goes right out the window. It doesn’t seem like the storm is about to calm anytime soon, so you’re stuck to suffer through it on your own. You’ll be damned to go to Harry’s, that would be an instant heart break and you just can’t take that right now. Long, torturous hours pass by with you lying awake in bed and part of you wants to go running over to Harry, but you force yourself to stay. It’s not happening tonight.

You fall asleep sometime after two in the morning when the thunder and lightning have stopped. Unfortunately, you need to wake up early in the morning, so when your phone’s alarm shakes you out of your sleep, you feel like absolute shit. Dragging yourself out of bed appears to be the hardest thing right now. As you make your way out, you are met with an all too familiar figure sitting at the small dining table, two cups of coffees in front of him, one obviously made for you.

Harry’s eyes snap up at you curiously, taking in your terrible looks as you head to the bathroom.

“Morning,” you mumble under your breath.

“Good morning’,” he nods in your way and though he doesn’t say anything else, you can tell he has a few thoughts about your current state.

Once you’re done with your morning business in there you join him at the table, barely able to keep your eyes open.

“Rough night?” he asks, eyes examining your face.

“Kinda.”

“The storm?”

You don’t answer, just nod your head. He remains silent, but you can feel that he is dying to ask another question.

Why didn’t you come over?

You’re glad he doesn’t actually asks you, because you wouldn’t be able to give either a normal answer or say anything without starting to cry. Instead, you just grab your coffee and head back into your bedroom to get ready for the day.

That week on Friday all four of you are invited to a party. At first you want to cancel, but some of your friends from classes will be there too and it’s been ages since you’ve been to a great party, so you decide to tag along with the boys.

For the first half of the evening you go your separate way, spending time with people you don’t actually live with and see every day. One drink follows the other, though you make sure you don’t go farther than getting tipsy. You’re not in the mood to deal with a nasty hangover in the morning.

Sometime after your third or fourth drink you run into Niall and he pulls you into their little circle that also involves Harry. When he sees that you’ve joined them, his eyes light up and goes out of his way to get next to you.

“I haven’t seen you in ages!” he whines, slurring his words as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side. He is definitely drunk, that you’re sure of.

“It’s been just about two hours, Harry,” you roll your eyes, but can’t push your smile down. You’d be lying if you said you’re not enjoying having him so close. Your dynamic hasn’t been the same since you stopped sleeping in his bed. Not that it was such a regular activity, it only happened two times.

“But I missed you, I feel like we haven’t… haven’t talked in so long!” he huffs, knitting his eyebrows together. “Have you been avoiding me?” he asks leaning closer, so your conversation can somewhat be private.

“That’s silly. Of course I haven’t!”

“But it feels like that,” he pouts with glossy eyes. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“Sure,” you nod, the bitter taste of lying filling your mouth.

“Alright, cool,” he smirks and pulling closer he kisses into your hair before he engages with the rest of the group again, keeping his arm around you as if it wasn’t a big deal.

For the rest of the evening you simply don’t leave his side and not because he doesn’t let you, but because you don’t want to. Harry is not the only one missing the other, this week you’ve noticed that even though you’ve been keeping yourself busy, your thoughts always took you back to one particular, curly haired boy. Despite everything that’s been going on, he is your friend first and foremost who you love spending time with and talking about anything and everything.

Both of you are intoxicated, Harry a bit more than you, but you’re having a blast playing beerpong or ruining Niall’s chances with girls he is trying to pick up. You’re genuinely having an amazing time and it wouldn’t be the same without Harry.

Arriving back home your little group splits, everyone using the bathroom after the other and you’re the last one in line, because you always take the longest. By the time you’re finished, Louis and Niall are both locked up in their rooms, but Harry’s door is still open, some dim lighting illuminating the hallway. As you approach it, you find him throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper, but his head perks up when he sees you.

“Good night, H,” you sigh, quite tired and in need of a good sleep, but before you could head into your own bedroom, Harry grabs your wrist and pulls you into his. “What is it?”

“Sleep here,” he simply prompts, already leading you to the bed.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

“I-I… I don’t--” you stutter, feeling flustered from his offer.

“Come on, you can’t say no,” he tells you, already crawling under his covers and then he holds them up as the invitation.

Taking a deep breath you follow him and make yourself comfortable in your almost usual spot. Harry’s arm falls over your waist in an instant, spooning you from behind as he hums pleased. But a few moments later he lifts his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

“You know you can say no, right? I was just joking.” Looking back at him you give him a small smile. Even drunk he makes sure you aren’t doing anything you don’t want to, but how could you not want it? You’ve been aching to sleep next to him all week, especially after the last storm when you suffered alone in your room.

“I know, Harry.”

“Alright, okay,” he nods, his head dropping back to the pillow. “I missed this,” he mumbles with a sigh.

“Yeah?”

“Mm, sleeping alone sucks,” he hums and in a split second, your heart breaks.

Harry didn’t want to sleep with you, he just wanted to sleep with someone and you were the one there. It has nothing to do with you.

You want to blame him, you want it to be his fault that your chest is now aching, knowing that it truly doesn’t mean the same thing to him it does to you, but you know you can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, so once again, you’re left with a sinking heart wrapped up into Harry’s embrace that suddenly feels burning.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Harry.”

When the morning comes Harry is still sleeping deep beside you, an arm thrown over your waist, puffing warm air against the side of your head with every breath he exhales. Seeing him so peaceful warms your heart, but then you realize everything that happened last night, how he only used you because you were available and not because he wanted you.

You don’t want to wait for him to wake up and face him, your emotions would surely bring the best out of you. So carefully, you unwrap yourself from his hold and sneak out of his room, back into yours.

There’s no way you can face Harry right now, so before he could wake up you leave, planning on spending the day in the library, working on your assignments, hoping the school work will take your mind off of how badly you’ve been friendzoned.

Sometime after eleven Harry actually texts you asking where you went and you just tell him you have a shitload of school stuff to deal with. He asks if he can join you, but you tell him you’re with a group of your classmates, even though you’re sitting in an almost entirely empty library. He luckily doesn’t push it and leaves you to be. Hopefully he’ll be fine when you take another step away from him for a while to get your head straight and sort your emotions out.

You get home quite late, but not late enough, apparently. Because walking into the house you find the boys clearly getting ready to watch a movie.

“Just in time!” Niall beams. “Join us, Princess!” he laughs, grabbing himself a cola from the fridge.

“Oh, no, I have some things to work on--”

“Come on, you’ve been in the library all day, you can have a break!” Louis tells you and you know you won’t be left alone, they are just so persistent.

So you join them in your usual spot, which is of course next to Harry, though you’re trying to avoid his gaze that hasn’t left you since you arrived and by now you’re certain he knows you’re avoiding him. There’s a reason why he asked you last night if you’ve been doing it lately, he is not stupid, but this is not the time to deal with it.

With your inner crisis bubbling inside you, you completely forget to ask what you’re watching. A few minutes into the movie it becomes quite clear however.

“Is this a fucking horror movie again?” you ask, snapping at Niall, who just starts laughing.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Harry will gladly let you sleep in his bed tonight,” he teases, making your whole face heat up at his comment. Harry slaps his chest before he turns to you with concern filled eyes, but you pretend like you see nothing, turning back to the screen with your jaw clenched.

You’re fucked.

The movie is a fucking shitshow and leaves you traumatized. When it’s over, you think about why didn’t you just stand up and go into your room when you realized it’s another horror. For a change, this one was filled with demons and monsters that hide in the shadows, just what you need before going to bed. In the night. In a totally dark room.

Exiting the bathroom you’re already planning on watching something lighthearted and cheerful in your room, hoping that would make you forget the movie you just saw and give you the chance to actually sleep.

Walking past Harry’s room you see that it’s still open and you catch him expectantly looking at you when you appear in the doorway as you walk down the hallway, your eyes meeting for just a split second before you disappear from his sight and shut your bedroom door without a word behind you.

No matter how many random videos you watch on YouTube, some scenes from the movie are just imprinted into your mind and they have you trembling in fear. Every shadow looks like a demon or ghost, hiding in your room, ready to haunt and kill you and you’re on the verge of actually crying. It might not be only because of the movie, more like everything else that’s been bottled up inside you, added to the fear the movie has brought to you.

Shutting your eyes closed you try to take deep breaths and for a bit it actually seems to help, but that is until you hear the door opening. It gives you an instant heart attack and you can’t keep your tears back anymore.

A whimper leaves your mouth as the door opens and you can only see a shadow entering the room, totally not recognizing Harry in the dark.

“Y/N, hey, it’s just me! It’s okay!” he quickly clears, seeing how shaken up you are. He rushes over to the bed, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one finding your hand and before you could think, you grip it hard.

“You scared the living hell out of me!” you cry out, sobbing.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to check on you.”

Silence sets between the two of you that’s only momentarily broken by your shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself down.

“Why didn’t you come to mine after the movie if you were so scared?” he then asks, surprising you with how straightforward he is.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you mumble, blinking the remaining of the tears away as Harry stares down at you intently.

“Why would you think you’d bother me? I like having you there.”

“But it’s… Doesn’t matter,” you sigh in defeat, but it just concerns him even more.

“No, tell me!”

“Harry, just go back to your room. I’ll be fine.”

“You definitely won’t and I’m not leaving until you don’t tell me what’s going on,” he protests firmly and you lose your patience to keep lying to him.

“You just wanted someone to sleep with yesterday, okay? You didn’t need me. And… I don’t want to depend on you more than I should.”

Harry stares back at you with a blank expression and you feel like this is going to be the end of your friendship. You have to come clean about your feelings and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t feel the same way. But then he speaks up and the tables turn faster than ever.

“Y/N, I wanted you to sleep with me last night. Not just anyone. You.”

“What?”

“I really thought we have been on the same page, but apparently, we’re not even in the same book,” he sighs, confusing you even more. “Wasn’t it suspicious how things have been between us lately? The way we slept, the mornings, did you think these are normal things to do?”

“I-I thought that… it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“Well it did,” he replies and you breath hitches in your throat. “I was trying to take it slow, see how you’d react to everything and I thought you were feeling the same way. But then last time you didn’t come to my room when there was a storm and I thought that was your way of telling me that you want to pause whatever’s been going on.”

You’re just blinking in shock, listening to his words. This is nothing you expected.

“But then you seemed like you opened back up last night and you agreed to sleep with me, thought we were back on track, but then you were nowhere to be found in the morning, avoided me all day and now you would have rather spent the night crying here alone than to come over to me. What did I do? Just tell me, because quite frankly, I have no idea what we are doing anymore, Y/N,” he sighs, clearly tired of this insane game you’ve been playing without even knowing.

“So… you did all of this, because… you…”

“Because I like you, Y/N. But there’s a possibility it’s already way more than just a strong liking,” he admits with a soft chuckle that melts you in an instant.

“Oh god, I could cry again, but not out of fear this time,” you tell him, making him laugh as you scoot closer to him on the mattress. “I feel the same way, Harry,” you softly tell him, your hands finding the base of his neck while his hands have wandered to your waist so now he is pulling you towards him until he ends up in his lap. His face is now so close, and even in the dark, you can see the cheesy smile on his pink lips.

“You’re not saying this just to keep me here because you’re scared to be alone, right?” he asks, clearly joking, earning a wholehearted laugh from you.

“No, but I guess that would be a major benefit of it.”

“I’ll protect you from all the demons and killers under one condition,” he smirks, his face already inching closer, his nose is already touching yours.

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“I get to kiss you.”

“Deal.”

You barely say this one little word, his lips are already on yours, kissing you in a way that almost knocks all the air out of your lungs. You press yourself up against him, his arms curling around you, holding you tight as if he is already protecting you from everything that scares you, though you can’t really think about the stupid horror movies now that you’re kissing Harry.

He pulls you down with himself making you lie on your back as he holds himself up above you, his lips parting from your just enough so he can look into your eyes.

“How about I kiss you every time you feel scared?” he prompts, pecking your lips gently as you pull your legs up and his hips settle between your thighs, while your hands dance down his back.

“Alright, I’m in,” you smirk at him and for a moment he just stares back at you, smiling wide, in complete awe that it’s finally happening. Then he cocks his head to the side before speaking up.

“Are you still scared?”

“Very,” you nod. “I’m shaking.”

“Good,” he grins before his lips press onto yours again.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[sevdoesnotexist]

Hey do you know what happened to @cock-dealer/morg? Sorry for the random ask i saw you reply often but like. i was offline for like a week straigh5 and now hes gone + im genuinely sad and also worried bc he was one of my fave bloggers lmao is he okay?

Hey so a lot has happened since March if you haven't been around. Essentially (from my understanding), Morg experienced abuse at the hands of medical staff during a hospital stay that left him in a really bad place dealing with the trauma that was brought on by that. He is and was often posting about his poor mental health and suicidal ideation.

A few weeks ago he had attempted to kill himself, I don't know him well enough to say what attempt # it was for him overall but I'll say "the first time" even though I don't think it was. In around this time too, there was "slur discourse" happening around who should and shouldn't call themselves a cripple and a lot of discussion around honouring Tai's memory by respecting the origins and meaning behind the cripplepunk movement.

A lot of emotions were running high and honestly I had seen the discourse in the community as petty insquabbling until shit hit the fan. I was kinda not touching it past my opinion on cripple being a slur that only some people can reclaim. Anyways through this discourse Morg had been receiving a lot of anon asks egging him on, telling him he's a shit person, really just generally horrible stuff and some anons who weren't necessarily approaching in bad faith got caught in the crossfire, which those interactions were used by the handful of people vocally disagreeing with Morg to further the narrative that he was a Big Bad Exclusionist™

Eventually Morg got pushed past the point of frustration and presumably while under the influence of whatever he had taken in an attempt to take his life or I also know he has mentioned the stress of it let to a psychotic episode which seems to make a lot of sense to me. Basically, he sent an anon to one of the people who was one of the instigators and main users furthering the discourse vaspider an ask that read along the lines "you got what you wanted" and posted that he had tried to kill himself for the "second" time. Around this time I know I was personally very worried and constantly refreshed his blog and sent him anons with kind messages like everyday just trying to combat the SHEER amount of hatred he was receiving not FROM users like vaspider and happysadyoyo but BECAUSE of how they were framing his mental health crisis was definately resulting in MASSIVE amounts of anon hate and suicide baiting.

The final straw for me is when I made a vent post about my feelings on the matter and vaspider literally shouted me down and called me an asshole for venting about my medical trauma and my feelings on the cripplepunk discourse. It was a really mask off moment for me I think they felt like betrayed that I didn't side with them since we were mutuals or something but regardless it made me really uncomfortable and honestly was incredibly triggering also so I blocked them as well as y'know, whoever I felt like, as I'm allowed to :))

Then like a week after that all happened, happysadyoyo, a user who WAS mutuals with me and vaspider but had actually NEVER interacted with Morg in his life, made a fucking YOUTUBE VIDEO about morgs suicide attempt, relating it to the show Thirteen Reasons Why and his own time spent being a manipulative asshole, essentially trying to insinuate that Morg had tried to take his life as a way to guilt and manipulate someone over Internet slur discourse. Yup. I was disgusted by the behaviour and openly said as much. The link is actually still up as far as I'm aware, yoyocunt refused to take the video or even the post with the link down, citing "his own psychosis"

From there I guess people who were watching this happen to Morg from the sidelines thought it would be funny to give those users a taste of their own medicine and started sending them a lot if gross anon hate including stuff like scat porn. I also think this was probably an attempt by some to paint Morg and his followers in a bad light. I mean while we had a giggle over the misfortune of people who had been royal douche canoes, we also all have made it pretty clear that we don't condone sexual harassment or suicide baiting. Those users often take screenshots of posts Morg makes without the context of a reblog or the notes cropped out in order to give the impression Morg is like, actively telling his followers to send them death threats and poop vids but like, that's just not the case.

So like you missed the most batshit insane turn of events, I don't think I covered everything concisely because I'm high but yeah basically people started disrespecting a dead kids movement and memory as well as trying to villainize a mentally ill trans dude for disagreeing with them and being rude about it

And, he's still here by the way, he's just @penis-peeper now.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[forgedraptor]

im a gnfer through and through and been here for 2 to 3 years but ngl, some gnfers in twitter are too intense and aggresive

and i say this in a very respectful and kind way, some 404twt need to chill out yo

ive seen people get super angry on tl yesterday at Punz just cz he said 'nobody like you' jokingly to George

like, honey, George says that to Punz and all of his friends too, thats how they banter

Gnf has always been sassy and bitchy (in the most endearing way hehe) to his friends and has said this and worse to them, just to rile his friends up and his friends just say it right back at him. theres no hard feeling because theyve known each other for years! way longer than gnf became a streamer! way longer than weve known him!

like if you get angry at Punz for saying that, then why dont you get angry at George? cz i can remember the times gnf has said the same words and even worse to Punz, and yet you disregard that and push your anger to his friend who was obvious that they were joking?

also as dteam said, George has the thickest skin (and thats sapnap and dream, his best friends so ofcourse they know him) out of all of them, if he wasnt live, he has the sickest comebacks, and heck, he still does at times too, regardless if he is live or not

hes also a grown adult of 25 years! please dont act as if he cant fight his own battles, because he has proven that he could and would do it!

he did it when he berated quackity and bad that time for joking about him not being a good friend and not caring about streaming fr his friends (i think its one of his boundaries regarding him being live with his pals) he did tell them off, and got angry- all Live btw!

if what his friends say does affect him, he will tell it to them, if not live then when they go offline! he can talk to them without the live audience because theyre friends offline too! just dont assume his opinions or that hes angry about something just because you feel it

because we dont know him like his friends do! asmuch as parasocial etc it is, we dont know who he truly is! heck, we dont even know his cat's name! and someone as private as george, you really think we can simply assume what he feels and be right?

also, if sex havers aggresive banter is not for you, then maybe you shouldnt look so much into it; because thats what it all is, just banter!

have you heard just how intense sex havers have 'bullied' Bad and his dog?? just how crazy and sometimes awful it gets? most of the time its even gnf that initiates it?? and when they do, what does Bad say? he says they dont take it seriously, that its just really play fights between them (think of like dogs or cats when they play with each other, like simple rough housing) thats how they do it, thats their sense of humour!

and theyve been doing that for years!! and stayed friends even through it!! that means they choose to stay together and be in the same friend group!

(as someone as scorpio as gnf, you really think he would keep being friends with someone for years if they annoy him? heck no, that guy has no time fr haters and just leaves that person if they annoy him or bore him too much; also dteam would be protective of eachbother too much to have someone really toxic in their friend group haha)

and if you cant take that sense of humour, if you cant help but be offended on behalf of you fave cc, that just means you need to calm down, leave the app/vod, and take a time to breathe because thats already you projecting unto that cc; thats not them getting hurt, thats you

so please, stop assuming the worst from george friends, especially ones that have been friends with him for years upon years!

calm down, and have a more wider, broader mindset, and dont let your own emotions dictate the emotions of a whole other person and being

dont you remember, that part of dteams boundaries is not to do things on their behalf, because if something does annoy them they would say it and do something about it?

so do that, be more open minded, dont let your emotions dictate you, and dont let anger and defesiveness cloud the facts and your mind

and also, remember that one Georgenotfound is the most wittiest, sassiest, and most of a little shit out of all their friend group

he doesnt need anyones help, what more fans, because hes a badass enough to fight for his own! (also its a bonus that the sex havers are all v protective of george, what more dream, sapnap and quackity ;p)

so i hope those fans that are a little to aggresive in defending gnf, calm down and know, that george will be fine! hes a tough cookiecat! :]

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/10/21

got a bunch of followers (many of you are Cool Teens, so also a reminder im 26 and an adult and you’re responsible for curating your own internet experience) anyway there’s a bunch of new folks since the last time this was a regular series, so i am going to pre-answer some things that popped up in my inbox last week.

a quick reminder that this is empathetically NOT a recommendations or review blog series. this is a quick snapshot of what i’m thinking about with regards to mass media this week, and sometimes i’m funny about it and sometimes i also do interesting diy shit

a work can be culturally or historically relevant and important in the history of a genre AND be extremely difficult to recommend unless i know you very well due to. hm. let us say many pitfalls due to the inherent nature of the genre or the time it was made in it any number of other factors that make it unpalatable to modern audiences but still worth knowing about. doesthedogdie dot com will be your friend here for anything i talk about ever

being critical of a work doesn’t just mean pointing out its flaws- was it successful in telling the story it wanted to tell? were the techniques it used effective? were the emotions it elicited in me probably the ones the creators set out to elicit? these are key components of a good review and often help me break down what i want to say about a particular piece of media in any given week, but this isn’t a review series of blog posts either.

i am literally just some guy and you should question everything i say

listening i’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair (from the musical South Pacific) brought to you by a random mix of classic movie musicals bc apparently im that kinda gay this week.

like a lot of other fifties media that aged like milk, i have fond memories of watching this with my grandmother. this isn’t even my favorite song from the musical (that would be bali hai’i) but i think it is one of the more technically interesting non-solo ones. specifically, the faint siren-y dissonance on “ahoy, ahoy!” has really been stuck in my head. the melancholy “ah fuck we’ve broken our hearts again” vibe on “rub him out of the roll call/and drum him out of your dreams” with all the girls singing is probably a result of a soprano-heavy cast, but it’s almost chimey in a way? the rhyme scheme of those lines has an excellent mouthfeel. ms gaynor singing “cancel hiiiiiim” has a very different vibe in 2021

two (really three? maybe four? the world is large and mysterious) things can be true at the same time: i don’t think i could watch this musical again as an adult because i don’t think there’s a good way to salvage or update it. the very qualities of this musical that make me go “fuckin yikes” as adult were the very qualities that made my grandmother love it so much. i can hold a bittersweet memory of a rare late movie night with a complicated lady and at the same time wish she were a better person. the dead never leave you with answers.

reading yet another fallow week. this field is turning back into forest

watching i often say “AAA video game (derogatory)” when talking offline about the bad batc/h, but this was a real bioshock ass lookin episode. i don’t think this show is succesful at making or having a point. mostly because it cannot contradict any existing lore in one of the most traversed time periods of this franchise, even with the expanded universe reboot. it falls into the uncomfortable realm of most starred wars media: this is a franchise for children but it also has to cater to legions of grownup fanatics with lots of money. but by god does it “feel” like starred wars. something not all the sequel trilogy movies or much of the clone wars series were successful at.

as a sidebar to that last sentence. the most memorable (imo) scene of the fucking sequel trilogy is the back-to-back battle couple thing in ep seven, which i have just rewatched, and it simply does not hold up. there are too many cuts to other sideplots, which kills any tension dead, and it’s mostly fighting on opposite sides of the room in frantic desperation instead of what i wanted, which was more than five seconds of synergy. it’s a bad rhyme of the final throne room fight in rotj and my memory of the thing is so much better, which is always disappointing.

back to the main point, i think a big part of something “feeling” like starred wars is big setpieces and fights that make you go “HAHA YES FUCKIN SICK WHY NOT!!!!” like, nobody ever Just gets shot in the head and temporarily incapacitated, they get half-vadered by the engines of a derelict ship trying to go to hyperspace while it’s grounded. this franchise has never met a location it couldn’t destroy in a beautiful and awful shower of light while the string sections of three combined orchestras play their hearts out.

this franchise is so fucking stupid and i am so invested in it

playing got my hands on the death trash early access, very hype to play it, have been too busy turning this apartment into a functional and comfortable space to live in for three separate people with their own separate toiletries and groceries and work from home/school schedules

making related to the above, the fucking kitchen table and chairs are done.

things wot i did friday night/saturday morning:

new rubber feeties on everybody

wrapped the legs that structurally couldn’t get new rubber feeties in jute to be kinder to my rental linoleum

bolted the legs back on the table and rebalanced it bc the jute wasn’t quite even

did a very halfassed job of fixing the drawer rails on the table

bolted the chair tubing back together

took all the old decorative tacks out of the backs of the chairs

scrubbed the seats and backs and the pieces the tacks were holding down with mild detergent (partially effective, it still has some patina but is sanitized)

re-covered the bottoms of the chairs in remnant black polyester to replace mildewed black canvas

put in new decorative tacks on the seat backs

bolted the vinyl parts to the chrome tubing parts (a long and frustrating process since there were two sizes of decidedly non-standard nuts and bolts)

wiped everything down again for idk good luck

sitting at my kitchen table in the sun eating a breakfast sandwich and some terrible iced tea on sunday morning was very nice. i lived in the south just long enough to get Opinions on iced tea and how the north can’t get it right. shouldn’t be gritty. shouldn’t be bitter. how is this even happening

some very very halfassed “during” pics

[mysmegrace]

Hi! I’d love a short fic of Zen with a shy yet bubbly MC in a Christmas Fake Dating scenario <33 Hopefully with some anxious pining and a love confession at the end if that’s okay! I’ve been musing over this sweet scenario for a pretty long time and wanted to make my small dream come true

hey hey hey~ (ew im sounding like my old math teacher lol). i'd love to write that for you! sorry this came out a little late, i've been offline and working on other things. i hope i did this justice! 

summary: GD entertainment, the company zen works with, is throwing a christmas party. giving many of the actors special benefits, one of which is a free 2021 computer model for people who had brought in their significant others. zen could really use the upgrade, hence why he asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night. he also asked you because he had feelings for you and figured that tonight would be the perfect night.

topics: christmas time, pretending to date, love confessions, romantic pinning, fluff.

words: 2k

For the Night, Or a Lifetime - Zen x MC

---

"are you sure this is alright to do zen..? i mean, what if rumors start to spread or they think badly of us?" you responded briskly. you were worried this would take a hit to his career, not to mention your anxious thoughts building up around the fact that you may have to speak with his boss and co-workers.

when zen had initially showed up 15 minutes prior, you were dumbfounded. last time you had spoke to him on the messenger, he had told you about some work he needed to finish up. yet an hour later, he was at your front door asking for you to act as his girlfriend tomorrow for the companies christmas party.once he had explained why to clear up your confusion, you weren't sure how to react. of course you would like to help him, but what if things didn't go as planned? what if you ended up ruining the night? you weren't secure in your acting abilities either.

"it'd be fine, i promise. we'll just act like a normal couple throughout the night and no one will suspect a thing" you heard him say, breaking your train of thought. looking up to meet his gaze, you quickly broke eye contact to contemplate your next action.

you knew zen could use the new computer, you’ve seen how old his current one was. but the fear of denting his career wouldn’t go away. you look up to meet him again, looking for a sign of reassurance or dismay. 

god those puppy eyes you gave to you. how could you say no? giving it another minutes, you eventually give in, saying “alright, but if something starts to happen we have to come clean”.

a breath he was unaware of holding came free as he heard your confirmation. a weight had been lifted off his shoulders because unbeknownst to you, he was planning to come clean about his feelings for you tomorrow night. so far, the plan was going just the way he was hoping for. 

“thank you babe, i’ll repay you back for this one day!” he said, giving his gratitude. “i’ll call when i come to pick you up” he adds, before turning to leave. it had already gotten late and he knew better than to stay with you for any longer while the moon was tempting him. no, that stuff would have to wait until the time was right.

watching as he left, the click of the door confirming it, your mind had completely gone blank on you. did that really just happen, you thought. you could hardly contain your excitement once he proposed the plan.

but you knew how the industry and his fans were. sure many were great, but many also say zen as a trophy they could reserve to themselves. a romantic partner could damage his career as allegations and opinions started floating around.

at the same time, it was difficult to hide. you had felt something for him that was so unfamiliar to you. something you could only identify as love. but what if he didn’t feel this same? what if...

enough, you told yourself. it was too late to get emotional and curious about what might happen. perhaps it would be better to rest and let your mind heal it’s anxiety for the time being. so that you did, drifting off while fantasying about the future, though you would never admit that.

a knock at the door caught your attention, allowing you to briefly look up from your phone. the sky had changed as christmas had arrived. everything was ready for your night as you had prepared once he had alerted you of his travel. 

opening the door, you gave a smile to greet him. one he returned promptly, pulling you into a friendly embrace. your heart skipped a beat, so anxious that you might do something he wouldn’t like. your body wouldn’t even offer you peace of mind to enjoy the closeness.

eventually letting go, you pulled your jacket on in a swift motion as you followed zen’s footsteps. being led to his motorcycle, a helmet was presented to you. “don’t worry, i’ll be safe. can’t damage precious cargo” he reassured you. 

god, was he trying to embarrass you, you thought as you felt yourself heating up. slowly gathering the courage to meet his eyesight again, you found him with a grin plastered across his lower face.

the nerve, though you’d have to let it slide for now. hoping on the ride, you heard the engine rear up as you went on your. wind hitting your face from all angles, moving your hair in whichever way it desired. 

pulling up to the event, you fixed your hair the best you could with your fingers with little time to spare. feeling your hand being grabbed, you looked towards zen, expressing a confident smile. in reality, you couldn’t believe what you had gotten yourself into.

taking the lead, zen greeted the people at the entrance in a polite yet swift manner. in your luck, they managed to find the time to question zen about your role to him. “she’s my girlfriend” he answered, before gesturing for the two of you to walk in.

the room was full of traditional christmas decorations with the occasional piece related to acting and performance. you quite liked it if you were honest. your attention was quickly redirected to the co-worker approaching the two of you.

oh no, you thought. what would you say to leave a good impression for zen and yourself as a pretend couple? remembering zen’s past words of advice, being confident and positive, you decided to adopt that attitude for the remainder of the evening.

“hyun, who’s this?” the person asked, leaving an eyebrow subtly raised. zen flashed a quick glance at you before responding “ah, she’s my girlfriend”. now was your time to shine. don’t mess this up, you told yourself.

“hello~ i’m mc. gorgeous event right?” you said with the nicest expression you could muster up. now you were left to hope you didn’t come across as too obnoxious or nervous.

“hello mc, pleasure to meet you” the co-worker greeted, reaching out a hand in your direction. slightly taken aback, you met his hand as you were involved in the handshake. that wasn’t so bad, right? maybe tonight would be easier than expected.

leading you to make a mental note of the three things you wanted to portray yourself as this evening. that being energetic, respectful, and adding in a tad of humor.

this formula seemed to be going well. an hour had already passed and nobody seemed to have a problem with you, openly at least. yet things started going down hill when you had a couple down further in the area whisper “things aren’t adding up with those two”.

a males voice added onto that, saying “i doubt they’re a real couple. look at them, neither one of them has shown the other any form of affection since they’ve gotten here”. you couldn’t find the words to say as you stood in slight horror.

how were they able to catch on? you thought you were doing good all night, making the environment relaxed and laid back. little to your knowledge, zen had heard the couple as well.

without giving it much thought, he knew he had to prove their thoughts wrong. hence why you suddenly felt yourself taken by the hands, pinned against the wall behind you. looking up in shock, you were met with zen’s face going in a kiss. of course, you couldn’t push him away. 

kissing him back, he found himself not wanting to stop. his rational mind took over quickly, pulling away. staring at you face to face, you could read the shock in his eyes. as if he was surprised by his actions. 

shock was something evident in your mind at the time too. you didn’t know what to think, what to feel. too many emotions were present for you to ever make sense of.

releasing your hands, he subtly went back to your side the same way he was before. almost as if it didn’t happen. yet you promptly heard his voice whisper “can we talk about this later?”.

without giving it much thought, you nodded in reply. you had so many new things to think about, you needed time. but in a good turn of events, the couple were no longer questioning your relationship status.

time passed in a slow motion, though reality reminded you that only an hour had passed once you looked at the clock. people were beginning to say their goodbyes, being given many gifts by the hosts. you and zen included as the computer was given for your leave.

returning to the motorcycle, you put on your helmet once again, as did zen. he would drive as you held onto the gifts in the back. this time, the wind wasn’t a bother to you. it had cooled off the heat from your face, deriving from the sudden actions of zen.

reaching your apartment complex, you got off the vehicle. looking nowhere but down as your feet carried you to your apartment, zen following behind you. as soon as your entered the familiar room, the fatigue from todays events had caught up to you.

now you were left with zen to discuss all that occurred. yet it took you a second to collect yourself for the conversation. you had no idea where this would go, you only hoped it would result in something good.

you heard the males voice begin to speak, “i’m sorry about doing that tonight, i should’ve asked first. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”. your thoughts paused for a quick second as something new entered. you didn’t want him to feel bad about anything, he didn’t deserve it.

“no no, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, i enjoyed it to be honest” you replied in a haste. your face changed as you really started to take in what you had just told him. you hadn’t meant to let that last part slide.

on second thought, perhaps it was a good thing to get it out there. you couldn’t hide your feelings forever. now it was zen’s time to become a visible shade of pink. were you serious...?

god that made him so happy. the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable and hate him. worried thoughts filled his head for a split second before you came in to save this sanity, as you always did.

“i’m.. glad to hear that. i was worried you would be upset. look, i have something to confess” he started, deciding now was the time. he observed as your eyes became a tad bit bigger as your mouth opened slightly in a curious form.

continuing, he said “i’ve had feelings for you ever since you joined the rfa. i couldn’t understand them at first, thinking i was juust lonely and desperate. but as time goes on, i can understand why”.

“mc, you’ve made my life change for the better. i can’t imagine life without you. so, will you go out with me? we don’t have to play pretend anymore” he finishes, lightening up the mood ever so slightly during the end. 

to say you were ecstatic was an understatement. finally your prayers were being answered. you could feel as your cheeks flushed before you gave your answer.

“yes, of course i will” you responded softly, as if speaking any louder would make this go away. standing in comfortable silence, zen was content with your answer. offering his gorgeous smile for your eyes only.

“thank you, ha you’ve gotten me so stocked. i have to prepare for practice so i’ll see you tomorrow.” he says, the tone of his voice raising noticeably. you give him a nod of approval, but become flustered at the words he said before leaving through the door.

“merry christmas, sleep well love” he sang out, before closing the door behind him. how did he expect you to sleep once he’s gotten you all worked up, you thought. giggling to yourself, you felt as the fatigue became even more present now that you were home.

laying down to rest, you were grateful for the best christmas gift you had received this year. the one that would be stuck with you for a long, long time.

---

15:43 AST - 07/28/21

[fairycosmos]

I'm sobbing so loudly right now, I heard my father talking about depression and saying that it's just in the head and that if you just think happy thoughts it'll go away and people who kill themselves let the bad thoughts take over. I thought I could trust my father considering that he's much nicer to me compared to my mother but I was wrong. I guess I should've never hoped. Nobody in my family cares about me and my fucked up brain. I started crying to I had to leave and I messaged a friend of mine if I could talk to her and she stopped being active on Instagram as soon as I messaged her, I thought since she lived america she was probably busy or smth. I tried to message a friend who lived in the city, I said " I hope I'm not disturbing you" She replied I wasn't and asked how I was doing. I reply that I'm doing not that great and if I could call her. She just left the thing on read and went offline too. I feel so fucking alone and if I didn't want to die earlier, I sure as fuck do now. Trusting people is such a big fucking mistake I wonder why I even do it at this point. Nobody cares, nobody loves me, nobody needs me and I feel like it's all my fault. Maybe I'm just not worth their time to understand me. I know you're going through a lot already Chloe, so I understand if you don't want to respond to this, I really just needed to let this out before I go :)

i don’t feel good about letting your message slide. it seems like you’re in a really tough spot right now, and im sorry. can’t imagine how hard it must feel. i hope you’re in a place where you can really hear this out, but if not know you can always come back to it later. seems like a lot of people have been letting you down lately, but the common thread in your ask was that it was always because of their crappy actions - not because of anything you did or because it’s what you deserved. and im really sorry about your dad, too. it sounds like he’s really ignorant about mental health in general, and he has no business speaking on the topic to be honest. you know his shallow and unfounded opinion isn’t reflective of you or your struggles. you know that. but still, i know it’s really hard to hear someone you’re supposed to rely on say something like that. as for your friends, well. not everyone’s an asshole but everyone acts like one at some point or another, and it’s so unfair that you’ve had to experience so much of that today - especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state. i wanted to say im proud of you for reaching out to them in the first place, even if it didn’t go super well. it takes a lot of work to get to the point where you even want to talk when you’re hurting, and i think it’s a good sign that you did. though i get why it may not feel that way at the moment. i promise, you didn’t make a mistake by wanting to open up. it might’ve just been the wrong people or the wrong timing, and that’s not on you. look, i understand that there’s nothing i can do or say that will change the fundamentals of your situation. it seems like you’ve been carrying this for ages, and suicidal thoughts are obviously an extremely serious thing. im not trying to minimise that by saying any of this. and im not trying to patronise. i just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that you are not doomed to be in this position forever, no matter what your brain is telling you. of course, it’s completely normal to need love and comfort from others, but at the same time they do not and never will dictate your worth. whether or not you deserve to live does not depend on them and what they think of you. you deserve it inherently, which means it never goes away. it’s not your fault people are thoughtless - none of what is happening is your fault. are you currently seeing a mental health professional? is calling a suicide hotline or looking into a mental health support group in your area an option for you? i know it must feel very stressful and tiring, but it really just seems like you need to be heard. and there are people who can help you out with that. who can talk you through your episodes and enable you to figure out how to make them more manageable and less blinding in the future. there is so much that can be done and you are not hopeless. unfortunately, i think it just takes a bit of time to build up a support network when the people around you don’t understand, but it is absolutely possible. i get that it’s exhausting, and it’s alright if right now you just need to sob it out, im the same. seems like you’re not alone in more ways than one. cry until the tiredness comes, which it will if you let it. you have options, even if you don’t feel that way right now. so often, suicidal thoughts are so chaotic and intense that they aren’t built to last. they burn out fast, and i hope you allow yourself to get to that point before acting on your emotions. please, if you feel like you’re a danger to yourself, please alert the authorities, call a hotline or someone else you trust, even a little. you are so worthy and you are going to do and be so much, just by being who you are. you deserve better and i have no doubt you will find better, if you give it another chance. sending so much love. please take care and do the right thing for yourself. focus on what you need, not what you want or feel. hugs x https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

[bnhaimaginables]

Hawks with a Blasian s/o (+ Christmas, cause why not)

(I was raised by my dad's family, Black side. And my mom's side is Cambodian. So this is where I'm coming from)

Hes excited to learn about your black heritage

He claims to have the Asian perspective on things on lock

But school him anyways (even if your Japanese)

Once he gets it through his skull that all Asians aren't the same, he's more prone to listen and ask questions

But he reaaaally wants to learn about black history

So you teach him

He gets kinda upset about the whole slavery thing.

You let him know the world is still trying to change

And he understands that, but still tho.

This mans is good for nothing.

He doesn't quite understand your need for certain hair shampoos and conditioners

And he doesn't understand the switch, you go through because of your hair

"Baby... why is all this shampoo in here?"

"Im trying some new ones out."

"Oh."

He starts to bring home new shampoos and conditioners for you

When you find one you really like (and that works) he buys that specific one

And if he can't find it nearby, he orders it offline

Dancing. On God, he comes to you, with his phone, showing you those dumbass tic toks , asking if you know how to do the dance

After him bothering you for about 15 to 20 minutes, you say yes.

Then it's another 20 minutes of "teach me. Babe. Teach me, please!"

You give in, after seeing his wings fluff up(he only does this to get what he wants)

So here you are, in yalls living room, trying to teach this dude, these dances

Its definitely a sight to watch him try and keep his wings from flapping too much, cause he's excited

Once he can get his wings calmed down, he's surprisingly a fast learner.

He's perfected these moves alone

So when you see him on tv, after an easy win or on an interview, he's doing one of them

You insisted that he take a break from hero work to visit your families in America.

He actually convinced the other hero's and his sidekicks, that this was important for you guys future.

So December, you guys flew out.

(My dads family lives in Mississippi and my moms family lives in Minnesota.)

He was in for like 3 or 4 different culture shocks

(In Mississippi)

The people stared at you both wherever you went

Keigo figured they were just staring because he was the No 2 hero from Japan

Then someone made a remark about you.

Feathers be damned, HANDS were about to be thrown.

You had to calm him down, before the police where called

You guys finally make it to your grandparents home

Your family was very welcoming and warm to him

The first day was... docile.

Your family was eager for him to talk about himself

They wanted to know about the berdman that stole your heart

From his poor childhood to his burnt face, Keigo was happy to talk about everything

He even did some cool tricks with his feathers, to crack everybody up

The second day was more eventful for him

He was surprised at how much louder everyone was

Talkin shit, and making jokes at one another

Even you, his sweet little Raven, was being loud

He watched with wide eyes and a smile

He was waved over by your grandad

Your uncle, tried to roast Keigo about his face (friendly)

Your brother (or sister or whoever) instigated, "oooo he goin in!"

Keigo clapped back, about how fat your uncle was

After that, nobody was safe

Everybody caught some flames, even the dog

When dinner was done, everybody sat down to eat.

Keigo was a bit hesitant to eat.

He had heard of soul food, but never HAD soul food

You had never cooked for him, you guys usually got take out

He took a bite of fried chicken, he was hooked.

After that, he started to pile he plate, he wanted to taste everything

He cleared his plate 4 times

And even ate some dessert

Afterwards, your grandmother pulled him to the side, and reassured him that he was approved of

He came back to you, feathers all fluffed and happy

Then you guys made your way to where your mother's family lived.

Flying up there was fine, when you landed your aunt was there to pick you guys up.

Straight you your grandmother's house.

Keigo noticed how much quieter you were, but didn't say anything about it

He assumed you were just tired.

When you guys got to your grandmothers house, all of your cousins, aunts and uncles were there

Unlike your dad's family, they knew EXACTLY who Keigo was

They had been tabs on Japan. (Weebs)

The elders kept feeling on him (idk if anybody else's family does this, but the elders do this to see how much you've grown, mostly they feel up your arms)

They were careful of his wings, only asking him about them

Keigo enjoyed the attention, again

You kept mostly to yourself

Only giving your family a smile and a quick answer when the spoke to you

When Keigo was able to break away from your family, he pulled you outside

"Baby, are you ok?" He was worried

You explained to him that you felt uncomfortable and awkward around them.

You told him it was because when your dads family moved you went with them.

You never visited them after that, until you where almost an adult

Keigo nodded, he really didn't understand, but he felt bad that he was taking their attention from you

"Keigo, its fine. Your the number 2 hero, from Japan. Half of them want to go there anyway. Your more than welcome to their attention." You reassured him.

Didn't matter, he still felt bad.

So for the remainder of the trip, he stayed attached to your hip

He followed you everywhere, except the bathroom (maybe)

He took the time to make sure you weren't overwhelmed by everyone

And when the food came out, again, he was a glutton

For the most part, he just got asked lots of questions about Japan. (Culture and what not)

And what were the perks of being No 2

When you guys flew back home, Keigo made sure to pamper you

And him?

Oh. He's already planned another trip to go back

He loved it!

He never experienced Christmas like that.

(This is what my Christmas has been like the past 4 years. So enjoy the personal experience no one asked for!)

[akechicrimes]

7 or 71 for either shuake or yukamitsu [big eye emojis]

7. “I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere.”

On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”

*

On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work (which Goro dubiously eyeballs for a whole four seconds before picking up) and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”

Well, neither Goro nor Akira own a car for Akira to drive, so that means Akira got hit on foot. Goro is very calm, and has no immediate panic response to that, because he’s a rational and responsible adult. “Are you dead?” Goro asks.

“Probably not.”

“And is there a reason you’re calling me instead of the ambulance?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I think I have a bruise on one of my legs, if that counts. But I was riding your bike when it happened, so the bike got totaled, so, you know. They’ve got the same model you had, but there’s tons of new colors, if you want pictures.”

Goro takes a very long, very deep breath. Goro is very, extremely calm. “Anything is fine,” he says. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, hundred percent. I even landed on my feet; you should’ve seen it.”

“You should go to the ER anyway,” says Goro, in a voice that is truly the epitome of calm.

“I mean, I guess I could, but that seems like a waste of time. And I don’t want to just leave your bike in the middle of the road.”

“Throw it away if it’s wrecked, then.”

“But it deserves a proper send-off.”

“You’re doing this to me on my birthday, Kurusu.”

“I’ll go to the ER if you go with me,” says Akira hopefully, who is a perennially bad influence who is of the opinion that Goro should have just said he’d be ‘working from home’ and spent the day with him.

Goro takes a look at his calendar, tallies up how many meeting he’d have to reschedule, and waits a whole five seconds before he lets himself say, “Fine,” because Akira just said that he’s fine and Goro isn’t upset and everything is so calm that Goro can wait five seconds before agreeing to leave work. “I’ll see you at Leblanc.”

“Wait, wait, which color for the bike? They’ve got green, blue, a red, a kind of fun rose-gold thing, which is a bit excessive considering it’s a bike, and teal, and a kind of blue and orange Naruto-y thing…”

“Anything is fine.” Goro stops. “Except the last one.”

“Red it is! See you in a bit.”

“Don’t ride that bike back to Leblanc,” says Goro, as if lightning might strike twice on the same day on the same man riding the same model bike of the same color, but Akira’s already hung up. Goro speed-drafts a rescheduling email, copy-pastes it to four different people, and then sprints out the office door without even a goodbye to his coworkers.

*

Friday, 11:16 AM

FUTABA: hey

FUTABA: hey goro

FUTABA: hey gorororororororororo

FUTABA: HEY MR AKECHI KURUSU

GORO: If it’s about the traffic accident, I heard about it.

GORO: I’m going back to Leblanc now.

FUTABA: no it’s smthg else

FUTABA: well it is about the accident but i got smthg else for u

FUTABA sent MOV19.mp4

FUTABA: ripped this from the traffic cam

GORO: Is this footage of the accident?

FUTABA: yeehaw

GORO: …Thank you for the offer, but I don’t know if I want to see this.

FUTABA: ok i hear u but i promise it’s hilarious

FUTABA: and also u might feel better if u see it

FUTABA: like idk what he told u on the phone but like

FUTABA: look the car even slowed down at the intersection

FUTABA: the dude was obeying traffic laws and everything he was doing something like ten under the speed limit

FUTABA: the car ENTIRELY missed akira

FUTABA: got the bike full on

FUTABA: and then he just rolls up across the hood and up the windshield like a looney toon

FUTABA: rip ur bike tho it just goes cronch

FUTABA: instant pretzel

FUTABA: ty bichael for ur sacrifice

FUTABA: also idk i figured you

FUTABA: might wanna see for urself that he’s okay

FUTABA: like u can see him stand up at the end and he’s not even confused or anything he’s super duper ok

FUTABA: he’s not bullshitting u over the phone and pretending he’s ok when he’s not ok

FUTABA: u know how he does lmao

GORO: …Huh.

GORO: He really did land on his feet for a whole second there, didn’t he?

FUTABA: yeah like a cat

FUTABA: it’s nuts tbh

FUTABA: and then he remembers he’s a human and falls on his ass LMAO

FUTABA: show it to morgana i want his professional kitty cat opinion on the matter

FUTABA: rate akira’s near death experience

FUTABA: also the driver was v nice and v apologetic and he gave akira his insurance

FUTABA: but i have his home address and work address and phone number and the name of his dog if you want it

GORO: Just the insurance will be fine.

FUTABA: kk

GORO: …And thanks for sending the video.

GORO: Even though I already knew he was fine.

FUTABA: you know those like

FUTABA: itty bitty teeny weeny micro dogs

FUTABA: that are like four and a half pounds

FUTABA: but they think they can take any mfer on the block out of sheer will alone

FUTABA: and theyve always got their eyeballs bulging out and they pick fights with 70 pound dogs

FUTABA: and they have only two emotions which are rage and anxiety and they shake constantly because theyre only four pounds and they have So Much Emotion and nowhere to put it so they vibrate at the speed of sound

GORO: Is this a metaphor about me.

FUTABA: it’s a metaphor about you

FUTABA: because i can hear your shaky angry anxious four pound vibrating all the way from the other side of tokyo

GORO: You are the smallest, angriest, most anxious person I know, who regularly picks fights with international hacking organizations and billion-dollar companies.

GORO: And I, somehow, am the angry shaky dog.

FUTABA: your husband got hit by a car on ur birthday

GORO: I know that.

GORO: I do not need to be reminded.

FUTABA: ah yeah

FUTABA: sorry

GORO: He’s fine.

GORO: He said he’s fine.

GORO: And from this footage, he’s more than fine.

FUTABA: he is super double extra fine with a side of fine

GORO: Unless this footage was in any way edited.

GORO: And unless he was faking his call, somehow.

GORO: In which case, I’m going to walk into Leblanc and find out that he was just pretending to be okay so he could hear my voice one last time and Leblanc will be swarming with police officers to break the news the newly bereaved.

GORO: But that’s not going to happen.

GORO: Because Akira is fine, and I’m perfectly fine.

FUTABA: im rly glad to hear my man

GORO: This footage isn’t edited, is it.

FUTABA: no

GORO: Are you very sure?

GORO: Videos are easily modified.

GORO: Would you even know if it was edited?

FUTABA: yes im a literal wizard of course i would know

FUTABA: where are u even getting this idea from

GORO: The entire series of events is unrealistic, isn’t it?

GORO: You said yourself that it was almost like something out of a cartoon.

GORO: The likelihood that someone gets hit by a car and comes out of it entirely no worse for wear is practically ridiculous.

FUTABA: i ripped that film straight from the cam it is entirely unedited

GORO: But how can you be sure? Did you see him in live camera?

FUTABA: i mean no but he texted me

GORO: What if that was his dying text.

FUTABA: i rly dont know if his dying text would have been the “i lived bitch” meme with the cat filter

FUTABA: he’s fine dude

FUTABA: that’s why i sent you the video

GORO: I KNOW he’s fine.

GORO: I’m asking if there’s any solid evidence.

FUTABA: THE VIDEO

GORO: I’m going to call him. Brb

FUTABA: so what he can tell you he’s fine AGAIN and you’ll be like

FUTABA: “oh but what if it was secretly a pod person who stole his body after he died tragically after calling me one last time to hear my voice”

FUTABA: he is FINE

FUTABA: like go ahead and call him if u want but

FUTABA: the only person who was gonna edit that footage was me

FUTABA: and if he were dead i would not be functioning enough to be doing any kinda photoshop like that

FUTABA: let alone LIE to you jesus christ!!!!!

FUTABA: god

FUTABA: i pronounce you King Shaky Dog

FUTABA: the tiniest and angriest and shakiest and most anxious four pound goblin

FUTABA: i will reclaim my title tomorrow

FUTABA: for now it’s my birthday gift to you

FUTABA: the title of Shaky Dog allows you to go absolutely apeshit and nobody will judge you

GORO: You know I hate birthday presents.

FUTABA: did you call akira

GORO: I hate birthday presents so much that I will be refusing my title as King Shaky Dog and will henceforth not be going ape shit.

FUTABA: ok so

FUTABA: i didnt mean to

FUTABA: get snippy with you or anything

GORO: It’s fine.

GORO: I wasn’t… exactly polite, myself.

GORO: So.

FUTABA: um

FUTABA: you really can call him if you want

FUTABA: there’s nothing wrong with that

FUTABA: between u and me……………………. i definitely did that more than once for a lot lesser reasons than someone getting hit by a car

GORO: My stop is in less than thirty seconds.

GORO: I will probably live.

FUTABA: lmao ok well

FUTABA: if u change ur mind about losing ur shit then please know i gave u that footage in the first place because i think if something like that happened to MY partner i would mcfreakin lose it

FUTABA: speaking of her

FUTABA: sumi says happy birth btw

FUTABA: but cuter because u know how she is

FUTABA: “happy birthday crow-senpai~~~~~~~~” in her shy voice that makes u wanna die

FUTABA: ofoogofhghhfoghfhhghfh g gh SUMI ur so cute ilysm

GORO: Tell her I said thanks.

GORO: And stop telling me how much you love her and use the ring you made me go ring shopping with you for.

FUTABA: HHHHH

FUTABA: im being cyberbullied for being a cowardly lesbian

GORO: I’m at my stop, by the way, so I’m going offline.

FUTABA: which tbh i probably deserve

FUTABA: oh kk see u

FUTABA: watch the video again mr shaky dog

FUTABA: akira is fine

FUTABA: everyone is alive

FUTABA: you are one year older

FUTABA: happy birthday goro

*

The bike is totaled.

Akira isn’t the sort of person to dump a piece of trash right in front of Leblanc, but it’s hard to miss sticking out of the nearby public trash bin. The back wheel has exploded into serrated wheel-spokes and limb rubber bits that Akira’s shoved into the trash as best as he could. The body of the bike is crushed in on itself, exposing its sharp hollow innards; the handlebars resemble a badly-tied knot. The front wheel is left to stick up and out, creaking gently, spinning overhead from half a hinge like a head not quite fully severed.

The cafe is empty except for its usual barista who, of course, is a very normal and mild-mannered barista, who has nothing to do with the several hundred millions worth of dollars of repatriated art hiding in the attic en route back to South Korea. That would be illegal, of course, and Akira Kurusu-Akechi has never once in his life done anything illegal in the name of what’s morally right. “Welcome back, dear,” says Akira, and hangs up a coffee mug to dry, and it’s so normal that Goro is convinced that either he’s experiencing yesterday, or maybe he’s re-experiencing the year 2016 all over again, or maybe Akira really is dead and this is just his ghost.

Goro sits in his usual spot at the bar. Same chair, sixteen years later. Unbelievable. Maybe Goro’s giving him a little bit of a dumbfounded look, because Akira tilts his head, leans across the bar, and pecks Goro on the cheek.

“Where’s Sakura?” Goro asks.

“Having his midday old man nap. So,” says Akira, looking pleased with himself, “either we can close Leblanc for an hour and raid the kitchen and make lunch, or we can close Leblanc and go out and have a fancy lunch. Your choice because I already made dinner reservations and we’re doing those no matter what.”

Goro really means to give him an answer, because Akira really does love Goro’s birthday every year and never fails to pick someplace nice for the day, but instead what comes out of his mouth is: “Did you ride the new bike back home?”

“Yeah, I did. Figured I might as well take it for a test drive. It’s a good bike.”

“Why didn’t you take the subway?” Goro says sharply.

“Didn’t have my card.”

“You just rode the bike all the way across Tokyo?”

“It wasn’t all the way across Tokyo, just a bit away and back… Goro?”

Ah, Goro’s going to become one of those people who has a meltdown any time their loved one gets on a plane or a train or ksomething else associated with heebie-jeebie nonsense magical thinking. Great. Fantastic. God dammit.

“Do you really want me to go to the ER?” Akira asks eventually.

Goro really wants Akira to have never gotten hit in the first place, but people don’t get what they want and sometimes the universe decides to send one bad fucking driver through a red light and take away Akira’s entire life in a split second—one mistake, a coincidence at the wrong place and time, and the boy who fought God and won is a smear of bones on the pavement.

This would be different if it were sixteen years ago, and Goro had the power to bend people’s minds in half until they broke, or dive into the deepest, bloodiest parts of the collective psyche and pummel the worst of them to a pulp—but what’s he going to do here? Lambast a guy who was going ten miles under the speed limit and just wasn’t looking the right way? Is he going to summon a new Persona from his soul and undo time itself?

Can he do anything if the universe decides, one day, that Akira’s time on this earth is up? He spent all those years desperate for power, and then abusing that power, and then desperately guilty for having abused that power, and then desperately trying to get up that power, and now here he is with the power to do jack shit when his husband almost gets run over and if the Metaverse were still around he swears he would have carved Loki from his own soul out of sheer fury alone—

“No,” says Goro sharply, and stands up. “It’s nothing. I’m not hungry, and I’m going for a walk. Please don’t text me unless it’s an emergency.”

“What—hey! Goro, wait, wait—”

“I’m getting some fresh air!”

Akira’s scrambling to get out from behind the bar. “Didn’t you just get here—?”

Goro spins around and points a finger at Akira like it’s his fault: “You were the one,” he snarls, “who promised, when we got married, that we’d always be together. And now you get hit on a bike, and then stand up like it’s nothing and—and get on another bike and go cycling around the exact same streets where you got hit—? Aren’t you scared? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Akira falls silent. “I didn’t go back to the same intersection,” he says at last.

Goro can’t take this. “I’m taking a walk.”

“Wait wait wait, Goro, just—” Akira grabs Goro’s hand and Goro has the sudden urge to yank his arm away, but Akira’s hand is also incredibly real, just like it felt this morning and yesterday and the day before that and all the days Goro ever took Akira’s living, breathing body for granted. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. He was going, I dunno, twenty miles per hour at most. It was an intersection. He’d slowed down beforehand and everything, and I didn’t even get hurt on the fall.”

Right, because Goro’s the one who’s just freaking out for no reason. Right. Okay. Because that’s how he is, isn’t he, always being dramatic over little things. Right. Of course. This is fine.

When Goro doesn’t turn around, Akira moves around to the front to look him in the eye. “Sorry if I made you worry,” says Akira. “But it was really nothing at all.”

“Maybe it was nothing this time,” says Goro forcefully. “But what about the next time—the next car—the next time you borrow my bike? What about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Literally any one of the hundreds and hundreds of days coming up where you could easily die just as easily as you died today.”

“Then I’ll escape death hundreds and hundreds of times,” says Akira.

Goro scoffs.

“I mean it. I was a Phantom Thief, wasn’t I? I escaped death more than once. Did it again today. I’ll do it as many times as it takes until we’re both old and grey.” Akira takes Goro’s hand, but it’s Goro who laces their fingers together.

“Sometimes it doesn’t work that way,” says Goro, like a bad echo of his ten-year-old self, trying to figure out what kind of world would let his mother die.

“I’m just keeping my promise,” says Akira. “I told you that I’d never leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sometimes that’s not your decision to make.”

“It is and I’ve decided I’m immortal until you die.”

Goro scoffs. “Don’t be arrogant.”

“Is it being arrogant? I didn’t let death steal you away from me. I’m not letting it steal me away from you, either.”

“Sometimes…” Goro begins.

“'Sometimes’ what?”

'Sometimes’ what?

Sometimes things get worse. People die early, and unfulfilled; they streak through the sky in a blaze and then wink out, without even a burst of fire to show for it. Sometimes nobody gets a say in what happens, and plans don’t pan out, and wishes aren’t granted, and everything happens for no good reason and no good end.

Today, Goro Akechi-Kurusu is thirty-four years old, about sixteen years older than he ever figured he was going to be. He has a career in a non-profit for maladjusted youth getting reacclimated to school systems and preparing for college, instead of the career in law he figured he’d have if he actually lived that long. He doesn’t just have one friend, but multiple friends. He has, unbelievably, a husband, which honestly still floors him to this day, considering that he was and maybe still is convinced that marriage is a scam devised by asshole men like his father to manipulate young women into a false sense of security. The other day, Akira mentioned that he wanted to get a cat to keep Morgana company, maybe in a few years when they moved into a pet-friendly apartment, and in Goro’s head, it made sense that they would both be alive and together entire years in the future for them to get a cat.

Today is already an impossible day, isn’t it?

“Sometimes,” says Goro flatly, “you say ridiculous things, and I think that you could actually pull it off.”

Akira grins. Akira leans in for their regular greeting kiss when one of them comes home, but this time, Goro closes his eyes, leans into it, really tries to memorize the feel of Akira’s lips on his. Every line and scar on his hands, the odd ends of his fingernails, that familiar way he waits for four beats, then takes a breath through his nose and kisses Goro again, and never can quite seem to avoid kissing him more on the bottom lip than the top. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he says plainly not three inches from Goro’s face. “It’s bad form to leave a calling card and never show up.”

Goro smiles. “Then I won’t let you break your word.”

When Akira pulls away, he kisses the back of Goro’s hand, like a proper gentleman thief of old. “Happy birthday, dear,” he says, and surprisingly, despite the way this awful day started off, Goro thinks that Akira might be able to pull that promise off, too.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

~

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

~

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean 😂 My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

~

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass 

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me! 

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing. 

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh 

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

~

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well 

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal. 

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active. 

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

~

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.