#THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME

[lisabiscuits]

RAT QUIZ RAT QUIZ

new fun trend: take this quiz and tell me your score

[mwphisto]

I’m not sensitive!

Pairings include: Xavier x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Sylus x Reader | Caleb x Reader

Warning, this post includes: breast play, nipple play, breast kissing, nipple kissing / licking / and biting

A/N: as a girlie that was convinced her boobs we’re not sensitive, I present you this lmao. Of course, it is totally normal for your breasts to not be sensitive and for you to not be into breast play!!!! I am just writing based on my own experiences, and even then, it can be a 50/50 for me lol. Bigger chest = less sensitivity from what I've heard, but it's different for everyone! Much love!!

Moving Banners from @cafekitsune | LaDs men banner by me!

Xavier

A lazy weekend afternoon, comfy clothes, lots of snacks, and some cheesy horror movies playing on Xavier's TV screen. You were more engulfed in each other than anything else, the conversation flowing naturally as you lounged against the armrest of his couch.

"I'm serious, they're not sensitive." Your feet rest on his lap, his long fingers gently stroking up and down the skin of your calf. "I highly doubt it." Xavier countered with ease, blue eyes sparkling as a smirk curled his lips. "I just think you haven't met the right person."

Some way, somehow, the conversation had turned towards intimacy. What parts of you were sensitive, what parts weren't, the whole nine. Tension had been growing, but neither of you were willing to bite just yet. Even as you fought the urge to squeeze your thighs.

"The right person, huh? You're saying you can prove me wrong?"

You boldly proclaimed your breasts were not sensitive, your nipples not all that appealing to yourself when you had time alone. You didn't really touch them, like ever, even when masturbating.

"I believe I can give it my best shot..." Xavier started, using one finger to trail up towards your knee. "... that way, we can be positive that it's not... user error." He grins, something boyish and full of mischief and dammit you're a goner. "Well, you have my permission, Xavi."

Just like that, he's tugging your legs as he lunges. Crushing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. The hand that had been playing with your ankles and calves now splayed over your exposed thigh. Sneaking under your lounge shorts and reaching up towards your underwear.

His other hand snuck under your hoodie - one you had stolen from him - and didn't stop until he cupped one bare breast. "No bra?" a murmur against your lips, he didn't give you a chance to answer before his tongue was slipping into your mouth.

You arched into his touch, the warmth of his hand against your skin making your lips tremble as you tried to keep up with Xavier's needy kisses. He squeezes, not hard enough to hurt but enough to elicit a gasp, a triumphant smirk already curling his lips.

"See... you needed the right person." Saliva keeps you connected as he pulls away, blue irises nearly devoured by his dilated pupils. "The right person with the best touch..." His thumb and pointer finger find your nipple, squeezing it a few times experimentally.

A gasp flees you, body jerking away from the shock of pleasure that zapped up your spine. You'd tried this before, when you had been so convinced that playing with a woman's chest was a key part of her arousal, and you had been so disappointed when nothing really... happened.

Now, Xavier was doing all the things you had tried and quickly given up on, and he was getting the reactions you craved. "Xavier h-how... oh!" You're panting as he rolls the bud between his fingers, adding more stimulation by sucking along your jaw. "You just needed the right person to prove you wrong." it's muffled against your skin, a sigh of annoyance leaving him a second later.

"Take this off." All at once, he leaves you. Just long enough to yank the hoodie up and over your head.

“Let’s try this…” Xavier wasted no time, not bothering to tease you by lingering his kisses. The cool air of his apartment caused your nipples to harden, and Xavier was quick to pull one of the buds into his awaiting mouth.

Your head fell back, hands shooting to grab his head as a feeble cry of his name fled your lips. Heat pooled deep in your belly, leaking slowly and ruining your underwear. You didn’t think it was possible for your breasts to feel this way, never mind for it to cause such a reaction to the rest of you.

“X-Xavier, fuck me, please.”

“Someone’s eager.” He lets go of your nipple with a slick pop, a cocky grin now sneaking up his lips. “I’ve barely got to have my fun, you need to be patient Ms. I’m not sensitive.” You want to punch him and kiss him all at once.

Rafayel

A study of anatomy, sketching various bodies in various shapes, colors, and sizes. You couldn't even pinpoint how or when the conversation switched to personal weak spots, but... "What about your chest? Most people list their chest as a sensitive spot."

"Not me." You pout a bit, hands coming up to cup your chest before meeting Rafayel's eyes. "Maybe I'm just broken."

Your chest had never been all that sensitive from what you could tell. You'd tried a handful of times to make it feel as good as it looks, books, movies, and even porn videos put so much focus on stimulating a woman's breast that you assumed it had to feel good.

And when it fell flat? You had concluded your breasts were simply less sensitive than others. "You're certainly not broken." Rafayel sets his sketchpad down, pushing up from his seat on the floor to stalk towards where you had been lounging on his bed.

"Your body is way more responsive to someone else's touch opposed to your own." You feel your eyebrows raise, glancing between where he towered above you and where his hand was heading. "Can I show you? Or perhaps, prove my theory?" Your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip, nodding a little to fast for your liking.

Rafayel sits himself down on the edge of his bed, a hand sliding over the thin material of your tank top. "You get too lost in your own head, of course, you won't be able to focus on how good it can feel." And your breathing stutters as his hand gingerly cups your right breast.

"Just relax, I've got you." As Rafayel speaks, he gently kneads the pliant flesh, silently noting that your nipples harden under his touch. "I-I just see these girls that can't go braless because their nipples are so sensitive and it just doesn't ma-oh!" Rafayel cuts you off by using his pointer and middle finger to squish the prominent bud.

"Ah-ah, what did I say about relaxing? Just enjoy..." Heat is starting to seep into your cheeks, your hand coming up instinctively to clutch Rafayel's wrist as he toys with your breast.

"They're so pretty, can I lift this up?" he's using his free hand to tug at the elastic material of your tank top, smirking when you nod your approval. "Atta girl, let me see these beauties...shit." His cheeks are turning pink, pupils dilating wide as he uses his other hand to cup your neglected left breast. "Fuck, they're so perfect."

You want to open your mouth and retaliate, but you think they are far from perfect. But you swallow it, knowing better than to dare contradict him when it comes to statements about your beauty. "And so responsive, see what happens when you listen to me?"

He seals the deal with a pinch, tugging both of your perked nipples between his thumb and pointer fingers before leaning down to kiss your sternum. "So damn beautiful." Another kiss, one closer to your right breast. "And so not broken, don't ever say that again."

This time, the kiss lands on your nipple, and you're mewling, cheeks burning hot as you clutch his wrist just a little tighter. Rafayel doesn't pull away this time, instead he removes his hand completely so he can suck the now-sensitive bud between his lips.

You're not sure how long he stays on you like that, but you know your panties are drenched and your nipple is swollen by the time Rafayel finally eases up. "Can I?" he swallows, chest heaving as he looks at your chest. He needs to mark them first and then sketch them.

"Can I fuck these after I show you how sensitive they can be?"

Zayne

You loved watching him type his reports, finding his meticulous typing to be both adorable and hot. Maybe it was just because you were so deeply in love with him, but dammit you could watch Zayne work all day. So, when he dragged over a human anatomy chart while typing on a patient file, you felt the need to pop the question.

"Zayne?" You sounded hesitant uttering it, so naturally, Zayne's attention was immediately focused on you. "Is something wrong?" Immediately, you wanted to swallow your words. "I-Uh, no, but I just kinda... had a question." You feel like you're going to die.

"Go on." He relaxed a bit, a telling sign that he could see your anxiety and wanted you to feel comfortable. "Ah, well." You look away, swallowing the lump in your throat before trying again. "I was just wondering if it was normal for... for breasts to not be sensitive."

The surgeon's eyebrow twitches upwards at that, and now you really want to melt into the chair you had been lounging in.

"Well, medically speaking, yes. It depends on the person. Sometimes chest size factors into sensitivity; sometimes it really doesn't. But, overall, it's pretty normal and fairly common...why?" Concluding his answer, Zayne seemed to really process what you were asking.

You felt a tad relieved upon hearing that it wasn't a one-in-a-million chance that you deemed your chest to be lacking sensitivity. "Oh, well, my breasts aren't all that sensitive, I kind of worried it wasn't normal, you know?" Zayne nodded, ears turning a shade of red. "Many forms of media have set unrealistic expectations."

"Tell me about it. I really felt self-conscious." You were ready to resume your lounging, but Zayne was still eyeing you.

"Would you like me to perform an exam?"

You swallow, eyes widening in surprise, but your head is moving faster. A nod escapes you before you can stop it, clearing your throat, you add, "That would be great, actually. I'd appreciate it."

Somehow, you're shirtless and braless on Zayne's exam table. The cool air of his office makes your nipples pebble. "They look perfect." He states it plainly, leaving no room for debate, even as your cheeks begin to burn. With skilled hands, the surgeon cups both of your bare breasts in his hands, kneading and squeezing meticulously.

The sensation sends a shrill of arousal straight to your tummy, and you find yourself gripping the edge of the exam table. "It's also quite common for your brain to pick a side. If you squeeze your own breast, your brain may focus more on what your hand is feeling rather than your chest." He squeezes them both to send the point home.

"And..." Zayne's head lowers, a gentle kiss placed on the top of each breast before he squeezes your nipples. "... different forms of stimulation can really shake things up."

In the blink of an eye, your back is against the cool leather of his exam table. The same table is now creaking as Zayne climbs up on it with you. "Z-zayne, what are you-" But his mouth descends on your breasts again, and suddenly all words die on your tongue.

His nose drags along your skin, inhaling your scent before suckling on one of your nipples. His hand comes up to toy with your other breast, determined to not let it go neglected during his exam.

"Some women find breast stimulation to be more effective when..." he swallows, angling himself so his free hand can slide down your stomach and towards the waistband of your pants. "...vaginal stimulation is provided at the same time."

Sylus

"Your chest is pretty sensitive, huh, Sy?" Your fingers dance lazily across his pecs, watching his expression for any signs. Sure enough, his brows pinch together briefly before relaxing again. "I guess you could say that." A gentle murmur, one that is full of exhaustion despite his eyes scanning over the pages of a book.

You were both supposed to be sleeping, but some days this was the only time you two could really spend time together. Snuggled into the crook of his arm, you found your brain wandering.

"Why are you asking, anyway?" his finger marks the spot he left off on, carmine eyes sliding to look down at where you peered up at him. "I just wish my chest was as sensitive as yours." You said it almost dreamily, as if you didn't realize what that statement did to him.

"Your breasts aren't sensitive?" Sylus countered, the book in his hand being tossed onto the nightstand so he could focus everything on you. "No, not really. I've tried but... nothing really works. I don't get how girls get so worked up when their breasts are touched."

He seemed to think it over for a moment, a small smirk curling his lips. "Do you care if I try something before you come to such a conclusion?" He turns towards you, his free hand resting on your shoulder and pushing you to your back. “You know what? Sure, go ahead. I doubt the outcome will change what I said.”

A little bit of defiance, sure. But Sylus caught the hint of sadness too. Now, he was even more determined.

"Don't be so quick..." His hand cups your breast through the silk of your nightgown, eliciting a small gasp. "...to doubt me, kitten." He's warm, hands that are honed to kill are now gentle as they massage your breast tenderly. "Just relax, let me take care of you."

Your lips are wobbling as he tugs the silky material down, letting both of your breasts spill out for his viewing pleasure. "If it doesn't work, if this doesn't feel good..." he pushed upwards, hovering above you slightly so he could lower his head and begin kissing your chest. "...I'll make it up to you in a way I know you love."

He tugs a nipple into his mouth, and you're arching off the mattress, the sudden sensation making your eyes water. The idea of not being sensitive has simply given Sylus the green light to be rougher.

"Sylus!" Your fingers curl into his hair, tugging as he bites down on the pebbled bud. His tongue lathers your nipple a moment later, soothing any pain from his bite. He lets go a second later, saliva connecting him to your breast even with the new distance.

"Let me..." he's tugging at your nightgown again, instead of your neckline, he's shoving the bottom hem up towards your stomach. "...fuck you while I do this. Nothing but the best, right?" Fuck, your head was spinning, legs parting as you welcomed his offer.

"I'll make you feel so good, promise." Sylus' lips are back on your breasts, kneading and sucking as he fishes his cock out with his free hand. "Sylus, I need you, now." dammit, maybe he was right. Your mind was going fuzzy from the attention he was giving you.

"I know, and you have me. Just..." he's nudging your entrance, sending you into a spiral as he bites down on your nipple and pushes himself inside. A shrill cry leaves your lips, hands gripping his biceps in a feeble attempt to remain grounded.

"Stick with me, Kitten. We've got a long night ahead, I need to be thorough with my research."

Caleb

You were lying on Caleb's bed, phone held high as you scrolled mindlessly. Caleb lies beside you, reading through some pilot magazine you had picked up at the convenience store earlier. A video on your feed has your mind going, chewing on on your inner cheek as you ponder your question out loud.

"I wonder what it's like to have a sensitive chest?"

"You uh... You asking me that, pip?" Caleb was caught off guard, one eyebrow twitching upwards as he turned his head just enough to look at you. Realizing your mistake, you can't help but laugh out of embarrassment. "More so talking to myself."

"Your chest isn't... sensitive?" Caleb jumps right to the point, suddenly more intrigued with your answer now that the initial surprise has worn off. "No, not really. I mean, I've tried like everything and it just doesn't... do all that much."

"Like doesn't feel good at all? Or just not what you expected?" The magazine is long forgotten, Caleb is rolling onto his side to really study you. "I guess... not as good as I hoped? I just feel like they're not as sensitive as they could be." You attempt to shrug it off, but Caleb doesn't seem to want to let it go.

"Can I... give it a shot, pip?" And suddenly it all clicked into place. You click your phone off, tossing it to the side and sighing. "By all means, Caleb. Have your fun." Like a dog who just got praised, Caleb is quick to get to work. Not bothering with touching you over your shirt. In one motion, he has tugged the clothing up and over your bare chest.

"Let's see..." calloused fingers are running up your stomach, his eyes focused on the way your nipples harden due to the exposed air. "...it's not odd for breasts to lack sensitivity." Even as he speaks, goosebumps erupt over your skin. "But sometimes, you just need the right touch to prove you wrong."

Gingerly, your right breast is cupped in his warm embrace, earning a sharp inhale as you flicker between his hand and face. "And hands aren't always what is needed." His head is descending on your chest before you can process it, a shrill cry of his name leaving your lips as he nips at the fat of your chest.

"Different sensations invoke different responses." A lick to soothe the bruise he had made. His tongue is wet and warm as it trails up to your nipple. "Some prefer ice..." a lick "...some prefer heat or wax" a kiss directly on top of the pebbling bud. "Others like tickling." His nose nuzzles it before pulling back. "And others like pain."

Caleb's teeth sink into your nipple, and your back arches off the mattress. "It's all up to you, whatever you deem best." You're seeing stars, a whimper leaving your lips as you guide his hand over to your neglected breast. "Just make me feel good, please."

"At your service, pip."

[goorgeousz]

hotch is not able to tell you no. ever.

drabble

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

content/tw: pure fluff, established relationship, reader doesn't have a specific gender!

a/n: I just couldn't get out of my head the image of being spoiled by hotch. I just feel that he goes out of his way to make sure you're happy. Ugh, I love him!

dividers by @uzmacchiato

“Aaron, baby. You could’ve just said no.” 

Hotch stared at you like you just said the most absurd thing that he’s ever heard.

To him, you really did.

Since you walked into his life, from day one, he could never, ever deny you anything. Anything being, five more minutes in bed, dressing up together for halloween, getting a sweet treat in the middle of the night, massages and every silly little thing your creative mind could come up with.

This is the reason why, on a wednesday night he got home one hour later than he used to. Ever since you and him started dating, everytime Aaron could find himself alone between one task and the other, he called you. They were quick calls, really. Almost all of them are about five minutes: many times less than that, never much more. He checked on you, maybe made plans for the night. Mainly just listening to you ramble about whatever chorus you were up to at the moment. He truly just wanted to hear you, and make sure you knew he was thinking of you.

It was on one of those calls when it happened. At some point between those 3 minutes and 47 seconds of talking you mentioned you were craving blueberry muffins with powdered sugar on top. You asked him if he could get you some from the bakery next to the BAU on his way home. He (obviously) said yes, and you moved on. You didn’t even think about it after that, it was just a moment. But your wish (every single one) was a (very urgent and imperious) command. 

So, when he walked out of the office to find out that said bakery didn’t have any blueberry muffins left, he decided to check on another bakery on his way home. And another one. After the third failure he decided to make his life mission to find the best blueberry muffins available and bring them home to you.

That’s how he found himself across town, with 30 minutes added to his already long path home and a package of (warm!!!) blueberry muffins (with powdered sugar on top, of course) on the passenger seat. You greeted him by the door the second you heard him unlocking the front door, worried out of your mind about why it took him so long to get home after he texted you he was leaving. And when he explained, you almost couldn’t keep yourself from combusting into flames at how adorable he was.

“But… you asked me to.”

“I know.” you pointed, still giggling and holding your arms around his neck, looking at him lovingly “But I didn’t want to disturb…”

“You didn’t.” he dismissed, too quickly “You never do.” he added, softly. You gave him a few pecks on the lips, smiling so hard it was almost hurting your cheeks. “Did you like it?” he asked, and in moments like this he looked like a boy, with eyes slightly wide, scanning your face looking for any signs that he did something right. You loved him a little bit more (as if it was possible) everytime he did it.

“I loved it, baby. They smell so good, I might eat the whole box right away!” you exaggerated, and was rewarded with a chuckle in response.

“Then it was worth it.” he concluded, giving you another pack on the lips.

“You spoil me. Just promise me that, the next time you will just tell me no.” he scrunched his nose at you.

“Of course, honey.”

(he never did).

[bruhstories]

touch-starved

summary: dante is touch-starved, and he thinks the only way for him to feel something is to get punched by you

pairing: dante x afab!reader | based on the netflix version but definitely canon divergent

warnings: dry humping, unprotected p in v, creampie, degradation kink, very light choking, lots of swearing, kind of soft dom dante and light pain kink if you squint, idiots in love, friends to lovers, bit of praise, fem bodied reader

w/c: ~3.2k

a/n: this is definitely not my best work but it's a warm up ig. lol anyway i absolutely loved the dmc netflix version, and i'm considering getting the games

"Punch me."

Not a question, but an indisputable demand coming from the demon hunter, which made you do a double take, place the barrel of your M4 carbine on the table, and flat-out refuse.

"No."

He snarled, yes, snarled at you, slamming his pistol against the table with a loud bang. You looked up from your own weapon, taken aback by Dante's reaction, concern written all over your face. Was he high??

"Come on, Y/N, just do it. Just one punch, one tiny little punch. I know you want to." His cocky grin did numbers on your nerves, but you still refrained from giving him the satisfaction of hitting him. It’s been years since you met Dante, by this point you were used to his shenanigans.

"Why, though?" You decided to focus on cleaning your weapon, the sharp smell of isopropyl alcohol filling the room.

"Because," Dante groaned, snatching the bottle of liquid from you, causing you to glare daggers at him, "I'm touch starved."

You blinked once, twice, trying your hardest to process both his honesty, and the logistics of his request.

"Why not ask for a hug, then? Or, I don't know, go to therapy?"

"Hah! I'm sure my therapist is gonna have a field day with me! So, my dad, a demon, disappeared without a trace, then my mother and twin brother died, but actually my brother is alive somewhere. My therapist is gonna need a therapist."

"Okay, okay, you made your point. Still, you could just rephrase it. Maybe leave out the demon bit." You wiped the barrel clean before setting it aside.

"I'd rather get punched. Now, please."

"Dante, a punch isn’t gonna solve it. Are you sure you don’t want a hug? I could cook you something. Or we could grab a few beers and watch a movie, or talk about your feelings." You shrugged.

Both of you had done this before — went out for drinks, danced, cooked together, fell asleep together — it was so intimate, almost like you were a couple. But the reality was that you weren’t. Not by a long shot. Unfortunately for you, Dante was protective of you in the way an older brother was. You thought that, perhaps, he missed Vergil so much that you were the closest thing he had to a sibling in years.

"A punch would be less time consuming. Cooome on, babe, just hit me!"

You hated when he called you babe. He called other girls babe, girls that were hot, pretty, girls that were his type, and it was the nickname that made you clench your jaw and purse your lips.

"Ugh, fine!" You sat up, rotated your wrist and flexed your fingers. "Are you sure this is going to help in any way?"

"Positive. Right here." Dante pointed at his cheek.

"What, in your face?"

"You're stalling."

Without a single ounce of hesitation you swung your arm, hitting the demon hunter square in his face, but it caused you more pain than it did him, and you stumbled back, holding your fist in your other hand.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" You cried out in pain, knowing damn well that would happen. Still, you couldn't say no to him. Ever.

"Are you okay?" Dante was visibly concerned — a rare sight since he was always cool and edgy, even when his own life was in danger.

"Fuck no! Feels like I punched a brick wall!" You practically growled at him, gaze quickly softening when you saw the pure look of terror in his eyes. "But hey, nothing a little ice can't fix, right?"

"Right." He nodded and got up, making a beeline for the freezer.

There was no ice in it, but there was a pack of frozen peas somewhere at the bottom of a drawer, which Dante picked up and brought to you. When you reached for it, he, instead, took your sore hand in his, gently pressing the cold legumes onto your knuckles. You winced, instinctively trying to retract your hand, but he held it in place, his fingers wrapped around your wrist to stop you from backing away.

The pain wasn't gone, but it was becoming bearable, and a relieved murmur escaped past your lips, one that sounded closer to a moan than a sigh. Dante's cheeks burned, tinted red with embarrassment and arousal because you were yet another girl in his life who just didn't want to be involved romantically with him. Not that he tried anything with you, because he always thought you deserved better. Sure, he was cocky and flirtatious, but he wasn't a dick. If no one reciprocated the flirting, he didn't push his luck. It was simple. And he wasn’t the type who did one-night stands, despite the rumours. Dante enjoyed having a connection to the people he took to bed, he became sexually attracted to those he knew on a deeper emotional level. But sometimes, when he was really, truly desperate, he would download Tinder and hook up with random girls.

And he reeked of desperation.

"Dante, you can let go of my hand now."  You told him, part of you hoping he wouldn't.

Who could blame you? He was an objectively attractive man, with a charming smile and a body sculpted by the gods themselves. Why would he ever want to get involved with you? Dante was your opposite — he talked, he sang, he danced, he was obnoxious. You were quiet, most of the time, and shy. In fact, when he first met you, he thought you had some form of speech impediment, with your nose in Boccaccio’s The Decameron, a book you stole from the public library because you were much too young to read. That’s when knew you were trouble, just like him.

"Yeah, of course." Dante stepped back. "How's your hand?"

"Better. How are you feeling?"

"Me? Why are you asking?"

"Hello?" You scrunched your nose and frowned. "You wanted me to punch you because you were touch-starved. Did it help?"

"I'll be honest, it felt more like a tickle than anything." He shrugged. "Are you sure you didn't pull your punch?"

There it was, the one thing that turned you from an introvert to a bat-shit crazy bitch — his stupid little mouth that he opened without ever thinking.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're telling me I risked breaking my bones so you could feel better, only for you to not feel anything? I swear to fucking God, Dante, this is the last time I'm doing anything nice for you."

"Nice? You punched me!" He threw his hands up in exasperation, while your blood boiled inside of you, sending you into a blind rage.

"You asked me to punch you, you maniac! You should've fucked me instead!"

Your eyes widened at the sentence that came out of your mouth without a single thought, mortified at your own stupidity.

"Hugged. I meant hugged. Shit."

"No, no, hold up, you didn't say hugged." Dante tilted his head, one hand rubbing his chin. "Isn't that called a Freudian slip?"

"I- well- how the fuck do you even know what a Freudian slip is?" You tried changing the subject but he didn't bite.

"Google." He closed the gap between the two of you, and for the first time you felt intimidated by him. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

The bluntness of his question, coupled with the sudden change in the pitch of his voice made you feel like a cornered prey. There was no possible way he was serious. But he wasn't wrong — the nature of your jobs made it impossible for either of you to have partners, and besides, you've known each other for years. It was only natural that some form of physical attraction would have developed between you two, right? But why you? Why now? And the worst of all your questions, why not?

You didn’t want to think about how this would ruin almost a decade of friendship. All you could think about was the look of pure lust in his eyes as he held your gaze, and how months upon months of sexual frustrations accumulated inside of you, bubbling and boiling and exploding when you dropped the pack of peas on the floor.

"Yes. I want you to fuck me."

Without a sliver of hesitation, you felt him pick you up with ease, hands roaming up and down his back as he slammed you down onto the table, desperately pushing away all the guns and knives. How thoughtful of him. Your hands slithered under his blood red coat while he tugged at your t-shirt, pulling it over your head to expose your bare breasts to him.

"No bra? Kinky." Dante stopped to take a better look at you.

"Stop talking." You firmly told him, but the chuckle that erupted from your throat betrayed you.

He was the one person you felt most comfortable around, so much so that you didn't feel weirded out by him pressing his lips onto your neck, or his fingertips bruising the plush of your hips, or his tongue flicking over your sensitive nipples. No, it felt natural, too natural, like your skin was made to be touched by him.

With his coat on the floor, you tackled his shirt, effectively tearing it off of him because you were just as desperate as he was, and Dante pulled your body closer to his, your clothed cunt accidentally rubbing against the bulge in his trousers. You were aching from the lack of sex, and you uncontrollably moaned at the tiny bit of friction before mumbling a weak 'sorry.'

"Fuck, don't be. That's actually kind of hot." He shamelessly admitted, and you rose a brow.

"Yeah? Then you wouldn't mind me doing it again?" You chewed on your lower lip, but he could see past the fake innocence when you rolled your hips, frantically and feverishly rubbing your clit through the layers of fabric. "Shit, I could come just from this."

For a split second, Dante wondered if this was all real. What happened to your shyness? How was it possible that his best friend, the quiet, nerdy girl he'd known for such a long time, was worse than any demon he'd ever encountered? Not that he was a saint. Far from it, because when you threw your head back, desperate to climax, his is eyes darkened, black seeping into his sclera. It should've made you afraid, but it had the opposite effect. The thought that he could activate his Devil Trigger and quite literally snap you like a twig turned you on.

"Do it, then." Dante's hand snaked behind the back of your neck, forcing you to look at him. "Show me just how needy you are."

Beads of sweat trickled down your forehead as you fucked yourself on the half-demon, fog settling in your brain with each breath, each movement, each beating of your heart. Faster. Harder. Faster. Harder. Faster.

"Oh-" Any sentence you tried to utter stopped in your throat, replaced by a string of whimpers and curses. Whatever you were trying to babble was reduced to incoherent words.

"Well shit, I didn't know you were such a filthy little slut."

"Just- oh- shut up-"

"Hmm, I don't think you really want me to shut up." Dante sneered when you picked up the pace. "I think you like it when I talk like this."

"N-not true!" You yelped as he pinched your nipple, barely doing anything and yet you were a mess already.

"So, you don't want me to call you a fucktoy, then? Bet you're dripping right now. Bet you want me balls deep inside of you."

"Fuck, I'm gonna come!" You proved his point when your entire body quivered under his, mind blank and vision blurry.

"There, there." Dante pressed his lips onto your forehead. "I got you."

The noise of his belt unbuckling made you snap your eyes open, filling you with newfound desire and guilt — poor Dante, his cock was probably aching by now while you had the time of your life. He stepped back, letting his trousers pool at his feet, and you lifted your skirt to peel your panties off. You caught him staring at you, taking the sight in, and what a sight it was — locks of hair fell out of your bun, sticking to your sweaty temples, your legs still shaking from the orgasm, and your cunt dripping wet.

"I'd love to eat you out, babe, but my balls are genuinely gonna explode." He confessed, earning a giggle from you. Even with his eyes pitch black and his Devil Trigger on the verge of activating, Dante was still Dante. And you loved that about him.

"Hurry up and fuck me, then."

"Are you that desperate that you forgot your manners?" He dug his fingertips into the plush of your hips, violently pulling you closer to him.

"Please hurry up and fuck me?" You pouted.

"Good girl, that's better." Dante pushed your leg to the side with his elbow, dragging his cock up and down your slit.

You didn't get the chance to take a look at it, but the tip felt huge, so much so that you gasped, propping yourself on your elbows to see better, and you were not disappointed. In fact, you were concerned. You could not take it.

"Dante, it's not gonna fit."

He shook his head with a half-smile, finding your concern quite cute.

"I'll make it fit."

It was both a promise and a threat, but you trusted him. God, you trusted him with your life. He slowly and gently pushed the tip, your slick more than enough to lubricate his cock, but he stopped every time you looked uncomfortable to make sure you were okay.

"Tell me if it's too much."

"No, you can- it's fine, keep going." You closed your eyes, the discomfort causing you to clench around him instead of relaxing, which made Dande forget how to breathe or think.

But the worst came to a halt when he was fully in, stopping briefly to allow you to accommodate to the size. Your breathing went back to normal soon enough, and the last ounce of pain in your body was swiftly replaced by a surge of electricity when Dante moved, slowly and softly rolling his hips, unable to abstain any longer. And you didn't want him to when his cock filled you up so good, reaching places you didn't even know existed inside of your body. Your fingernails dug into his back, clawing at his skin with desperation and impatience, like you needed more than what he was already giving you.

"See? I told you I’ll make it fit. And you take me so well." Dante said, dragging his mouth over your neck, your scent overloading his senses.

But it just wasn't enough. No matter how painful, you wanted it-

"Harder."

Assertive, demanding, you wrapped your legs around his waist, and he pulled back to look at you, as if not believing your request.

"A minute ago, you were wriggling in pain, now you want it harder?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation. "I want it harder, faster, please-"

You were shushed by two digits forcing open your mouth, and you instinctively wrapped your lips around them, sucking obediently.

"You talk too much." He gave you a taste of your own medicine. "Should've known you were just a dumb little cocksleeve."

The degrading words caused you to moan and drool around his fingers, tears welling up in your eyes. Each thrust had you clench tighter, the tip of his ridiculously large cock punishing your cervix. Pain and pleasure bubbled inside of you, sparking through your body as Dante practically ripped his fingers from your mouth, only to wrap them around your throat. He was a hungry man, and you were dinner — arching your back to get closer, deeper, you fucked yourself on his cock with his name spilling from your lips like a prayer, and he revelled in your worship.

"Shit, you like it when it hurts, don't you?" He whispered, squeezing harder while you nodded eagerly. "Of course you do."

Of course you did. How could you not when he fucked you so good that your dignity and modesty were long forgotten? When Dante stripped you of your decency to bring out the worst in you? You felt your second orgasm build up, causing you to twitch under him, eyes rolling back as you slipped your hands under his arms, holding on for dear life.

"Again- gonna come again, Dante! Fuck!"

"Atta girl." He held your quivering body, his own hips stuttering, brutally thrusting into you with raw, animalistic passion.

You came undone on his cock, fingers carding through his hair, pushing away white locks to look at his pretty eyes while his arm slithered under your lower back to both support you and bring you closer to him. Dante was close, his throbbing cock still stretching your sore cunt out. He bucked his hips, splitting you open while you latched your arms around his neck, tits pressed against his chest and your lips ghosting over his earlobe.

"Almost there, babe." Dante promised. "You're doing so well." He pulled back, nearly on edge, but you squeezed your legs tighter around his waist.

"Don't pull out." You demanded, and that was enough to help him reach enlightenment.

He filled you up, and when he did pull out, watching his cum slowly leak out of you, you could've sworn he whispered 'marry me' under his breath. Surely it was just the brain fog, or the post-orgasm high. Your whole body was numb, and you stumbled into Dante's arms when you tried to get down from the table, muscles sore and aching.

"You wanna get pizza?" He nonchalantly asked, as if he didn't just fuck his best friend.

"I- shouldn't we talk about this?" You avoided looking into his eyes, opting to stare at the floor instead.

"About what?"

God, he was either insufferably oblivious or remarkably good at pretending.

"Us." You sighed.

"What's there to talk about?" Dante's fingers found your chin, and he gently lifted it up, forcing you to look at him.

"Don't make this harder for me, please. You know things won’t be the same now. We’re not in a relationship and-"

"I don't follow." Confusion was written all over his face. "Do you not want to be my girlfriend?"

"Girl- I- hold up, what? Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" You tilted your head, baffled by his question, because of course you wanted to. You just never had the guts to admit that you like him. It was even more shocking that he liked you back. Wasn’t this all just a one-time thing?

"I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious when I fucked you. What, you thought I nut and dip? That I shoot a load and go back on the road? That I cum n go?"

"Wow, please never use those euphemisms ever again." You cringed at his words, trying your best to hide the smile that crept on your lips.

"Christ, babe, you know I don't do one-night stands unless I’m really desperate. And here I thought you were my best friend. Guess I was wrong." Dante gasped, dramatically feigning offence by placing a hand on his chest.

"I’m not your best friend anymore." You said, voice serious and cold, and his charade was quickly replaced by actual worry and offence. "I'm your girlfriend now. And your best friend."

"Okay, I was genuinely concerned. Fuck you." He flipped you off and you sneered.

"You already did."

"Wait, that's my line!"

"Skill issue."

[bambisnc]

(   ➴ ) 𝖪𝖨𝖲𝖲 𝖧𝖨𝖬, 𝖭𝖮𝖳 𝖬𝖤! ♡

୨ৎ. 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝗒 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 .. 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌.

### . STARRING ⌢ p.sh ⋆ oneshot + 1.2k // kissing + reader has an ex + i need you guys to j trust me on this please ˖ ✧

[ 陰 🤍 ] ─── i have nawt read the manga before anyone asks; i found the name super funny & then a little lightbulb in my head went "!!" ㅤㅤㅤㅤ‹ FILE.ZIP 𝟹

park sunghoon usually prides himself on being a man of dignity and honor.

he’s heard people around him say this; multiple remarks of how his moral conduct seems totally unshakable. a pillar whose boundaries not one single temptation could consider breaking, they'd say.

but, he finds himself thinking, if all that were really true, he wouldn’t really be in this position—with heeseung's girlfriend all pretty in front of him, pinned up against a wall—would he?

not that he's complaining about the sight in front of him, of course. 

you are nothing less of a divine vision with slightly swollen and spit slicked lips, your delicately applied gloss now smudged from the earlier … activities.

his eyes take in the loose strands of hair framing your features, the way your eyes are delectably glazed over and the lightest sheen of sweat highlighting it all. it’s a wonder he’s able to resist diving right back in and claiming your lips in another kiss, really.

heeseung should've known better. 

he should've known that leaving you alone with sunghoon could not possibly lead to any good outcomes.

one doesn't harbour unrequited feelings for months and leave scott-free, with zero after effects. there’s bound to be some catches.

sunghoon blamed many other things too.

firstly, the sun. for subjecting him to its sweltering heat and for rendering him into a half-dazed stupor. for being the reason you were wearing that gorgeous sundress, casual but enough to catch the attention of all the others lazily roaming around the open shopping complex.

secondly, he blamed ni-ki. like, did the boy really have to drag heeseung away because he saw a michael jackson DVD (limited versions only) on display?

granted, that particular compilation was seemingly not available anywhere else without having to pay a price so scandalous that it hurt to think about. and the singer did happen to be ni-ki's favorite.

but gosh, how selfish could people be?

most importantly, though, he blamed your ex.

for? his mere existence.

it had been going just fine, peachy even, right until that person showed up, he recalls, absentmindedly tracing your lower lip—doing his best to ignore the expectant gaze you were directing towards him lest he end up doing something he'd regret.

well. regret more than he does already, that is.

when your previously cheery smile had suddenly been replaced by a pall of worry, he couldn’t help but immediately mirror your concern. you had anxiously clutched the edge of his sleeve, murmuring that you had just happened to see song eunseok. also known as your ex. 

“i just… i really don’t want to face him right now.”

that was understandable. sunghoon wouldn’t want to see the face of the man who had been such a horrible boyfriend to you (your words, not his; circa last july, pre-heeseung era) either, lest he end up lobbing a punch his way.

“do you think you could hide me?” he could practically see the unease wrapped in a sheath around you from the way you chewed on your lip, “please?...”

what was sunghoon supposed to reply to that? say no to your plea? as if he could ever.

so he did what any dutiful friend would do. he let you use him. 

an arm braced against the wall and another awkwardly fidgeting by his side—he wasn’t sure where it was considered appropriate to keep one’s hand while helping their friend’s girlfriend hide from an ex—he stood leaning towards you. 

his broader, taller frame could cover yours with laughable ease. should the ex boyfriend happen to glance your way, he wouldn’t even realize there was another person there.

it was fine even up until that point. it wasn’t like sunghoon couldn’t control himself and immediately took advantage of the situation. no matter how much he really, really wanted to.

he would never do that to heeseung or you. 

all he needed to do, he thought determinedly, was to not make eye contact and hope that this was over soon. 

but suddenly, you were tugging him closer, saying the position seemed way too odd, too awkward. and now he was closer to you than ever, and quite aware of the fact that he was sweating bullets. 

“hoon?... are you okay?” you had piped up, voice slightly muffled due to quite literally being pressed up against him, “you seem so flushed… is it because of the sun?”

no, it was most definitely not because of the sun.

he vaguely recalls replying back with some offhanded agreement to your words. you, bless your heart, had immediately brushed the back of your hand against his forehead, checking if he was truly okay.

sunghoon swore his breath hitched at the contact. noticeably.

only then did it sink in. the reduced proximity, the charged air brewing between your bodies. he really shouldn’t be getting any ideas.

"?..."

“i’m fine.” his voice was low, cautious. he ran his tongue across his lips, wetting them—a nervous tick of his. “you need to stop this.. a guy can get the wrong idea, you know?” 

you had only giggled at that airily, “no wrong ideas here, i promise.”

then, as if it was the most natural thing to do—it might as well have been, with how perfect it was—you had tipped your head upwards, placing a soft kiss right at the corner of his mouth.

“am i still being unclear?” your head was tilted at a 45° angle, playing off a cute innocence. 

... there was no way he could say no to that, rationality and morals be damned.

and so instead of gracing your teasing remark with a dignified comeback, he simply let you close the distance between your lips once again.

-

park sunghoon usually prides himself on being a man of dignity and honor, sure. but right now? right now, the only thing he’s sure of is that he’s fucked up. big time.

heeseung… one can only imagine how his friend would react to this information. none of the possible scenarios that run through his head are any good.

with a jolt, he jerks away; the hurt look on your face doing nothing to break his resolve. (mostly.) 

“this isn’t—this isn’t right. you have a boyfriend, heeseung… he—he’ll be devastated.”

“what?” confusion spreads across your face, genuine enough if he stopped to take it in. “sunghoon, no that’s not it—”

“we—it’s best we forget this happened. i, um,.. i won’t say anything to him.”

a blink. and you’re laughing. wait what?

“ah…” the way your head is thrown back as you struggle to keep a straight face almost distracts him. “heeseung is actually going to burst out laughing, oh my god.”

before he can even comprehend what that could mean, you show him your phone screen opened to a chat between you and your boyfriend (?).

fake boyfie hee ☝🤓 : dude if you’re planning on making out w/ hoon rn do NOT do it in front of me and niki i beg.

fake boyfie hee ☝🤓 : cause like it’s one thing having to hear ab how u bad u want him 24/7 (it gets to a point oh my god?)

fake boyfie hee ☝🤓 : go get ur man by all means but i do nawt need to be seeing allat !!!!!

“see? i only made him pretend we were together because eunseok was being a little bitch. it was super funny seeing his reaction, if that helps!”

sunghoon’s not sure if he wants to now laugh himself or instead cry. maybe both at the same time? he would rather not scare you off already though. hence, he does the next best thing. 

he kisses you once again. softer this time, as if he’s taking the time to savor the moment.

you part for air only when it becomes an absolute necessity. “what was that about?”

“i need to make up for lost time. all this while, i really thought i had no chance. and…” a pause that indicates he’s struggling to find the right words.

his tone is sheepish when he finally says what’s on his mind. 

“and... i could’ve been a better fake boyfriend, by the way. for the record.”

𐙚 . regulars : @chrrific @jessxxxfwd @evanesceki @soobundle1009 @weedatthegasstattion @flipitkickit @douqhnxtss @soona-huh @amoressb @nicholasluvbot @manariee @rinrinninnin @ddeonuswife @douqhnxtss @lovenha7 ⋆

[@bambisnc] 2k25

[engenlvr]

i miss you, i’m sorry | alexia putellas

pairing: alexia putellas x mila crnogorčević (oc)

summary: years ago she messed up the best thing that ever happened to her and now it's back in front of her she won't make that mistake again

tags: angst, fluff, acl's, firstlove!alexia, past relationship, exes that haven’t seen each other in years, orange coloured text means that it is spanish and blue is swiss german. i hate writing games so it will probably be written horribly.

word count: 10k+

it was match day.

an el clásico to be exact. barcelona vs real madrid. champions league quarter final. you’ve been to many of these when you moved to spain from switzerland when you were fourteen.

football was your favourite sport growing up your dad was huge on it he even tried to get you in the sport but it was horrible and you quit immediately. you traded playing the sport to taking pictures of it.

you cousin ana-marie was the whole reason why you were here today, sat next to your friend bella. you were beyond proud of the girl and everything she’s achieved in her career.

today she was going to play in front of a world record crowd for women’s football. thousands of people in one stadium to see the team’s kick a ball around.

when you were offered an invite to see her play you couldn’t decline it wasn’t just a big moment in her career but also yours if you could capture the right moment. there were times where you’d see her play and the stadium barely had any people but today was the stadium was basically full.

the two girls were sat in their barcelona shirts with the name crnogorčević on the back of it. the game was just about to start with just the whistle needing to be blown.

and when it did the twenty two players began to run up and down the pitch. the score was already 3-1 on aggregate but it didn’t stay like that for long with a lovely cross from barcelona’s number four in the seventh minute.

there was something about el clásico no matter what, they were entertaining the rivalry between the two clubs causing that. then came the penalty due to a hand ball which only added to the game. it ended up going in real madrid’s favour with it barely slipping passing pass the goalkeeper fingers.

but it wasn’t till the second half when you got really invested, it wasn’t your cousin getting subbed on the pitch that the game really started to interest you. and a goal from the opposing team, a goal that was a beaut even thought it was hard to say with your barça heart.

but with that goal you knew it was only going to motivate them more and it did. that goal drove the home team to get a few more in their name. but it wasn’t the second or third goal that caught your attention it was the fourth that did.

the way they played was so familiar but you couldn’t place who it was or if your even knew them. the confidence in their movement and passes, their confidence full stop was too similar. the was she bowed to the fans as they all cheered for her. you didn’t have the clearest of views from where you were sat but with that being said whenever you were taking pictures you don’t really pay attention to their face everything was blurred out.

the rest of the game was a blur all your thoughts on the teams number 11 who seemed to be everyone’s favourite and it wasn’t until the final whistle that you snapped out of that trance.

“that game was amazing, i mean all the goals was beautiful” hanna blabbed in excitement over the game as the two of you made your way down to the pitch now that everyone was gone “i mean you have to show me all your photos”

looking at the girl “you always see my photos before anyone else” if there was one thing that the spanish girl loved about you was that you knew someone on the team meaning that you could get her tickets.

the two of you met about three years ago and have been best friends since and it wasn’t until a year in your friendship that she realised that you knew ana-marie but that you were actually family.

“ana! i’m so proud of you” pulling the girl into a hug and not letting her go till she started to pull away to hug hanna.

“you were amazing” the spanish girl complimented completely in awe at the swiss girl’s performance today.

the three girl continued to chat about the match that happened, from the goals to saves that happened. you listed nodding every now and then to the teams number 10 caught your eyes.

“jenni?” eyes full of confusion as you walked to the dark haired girl “what are you doing here? you know when we met and you were all secretive about your job i didn’t know it was because you were a footballer” she pulled you into a hug completely shocked that the girl she thought about a lot after they last saw each other months ago.

“what am i doing here? i could ask you the same thing. i can’t believe your here” her eyes looked at you “you know ana she’s my cousin and she asked me to come see her play. i’m also a sports photographer and it was worth coming i mean it was beautiful to think so many people came to watch you play. but i don’t blame them”

“are you flirting with me?” she joked remembering how you where when the two of you met on holiday “your family is looking at us well more me but still”

you looked back at your cousin and friend who glanced at the two of you “i think she just shocked that i know another footballer i mean she was shocked when i told her that ana was my cousin like she screamed cause she she loves this team”

“and you? do you love this team”

“i guess i do i’ve lived here since i was fifteen and been to may of these games and my shirt” spinning around to show her the your name ( ana-maria’s name ) on the back “love everything about this club, in fact i know everything about it”

“well since you love this club so much out of the kindness of my heart i’ll give you my shirt” pulling the fabric off her body and handing it to you “and the team we’re going out tonight to celebrate the win you should come”

“i don’t want to intrude” shaking your head no “you won’t i promise i want you there and the team will love you”

jenni heard her name being called “look i got to go but please come”

“hanna how do u feel about going to a party tonight”

so that’s how the two of your found yourselves in the club full of professional footballers “not to sound like i’m using you or anything but i love the fact that you know footballers especially barça ones. but how do you know jenni” the dark haired spaniard asked while dragging you to the bar to get shots number, well she didn’t know.

“err, we met on holiday”

her head shot around “you slept with her” the words jumbled up in your throat trying to come up with lie but nothing worked and you knew that she could see right through you so you stopped “no, okay so maybe i did, but it was months ago and a total coincidence that i met her today. i didn’t even know she played for barça”

“well i’m happy that you know them cause girl this place has been booked out for months”

the swiss girl humed in agreement before picking up the shot and downing it clearly needing it after her best friend integration.

the footballers were scatters all around across the club. you have yet to see everyone on the team, only really talked to ana-maria, ingrid, mapi and of course jenni.

“i don’t blame you, she’s really hot”

“thank you, hanna. i’m gonna steal her for a dance” pulling you alonge with her before you could say by to the girl.

“you’re a hard girl to find” she whispered in your ear from behind, the way she spoke with such confidence in everything that she does.

“well i’ve been on the dance floor or at the bar”

your body up against hers, the way her hand run up your bare back due to your backless crop top you wore. the touch that caused goosebumps to appear. maybe it was the alcohol that enhanced all that you felt but you didn’t care, both of you didn’t.

“you look beautiful, your top with that small skirt of yours i love it” her fingers grazing the price of clothing as she named them “it reminds me of that night in kos. you at that club in that tight red dress that compliments you so well” pushing you hair to the side “i still think about that night, how good you were for me all night” her lips meeting your neck peppering kisses on it.

you finally looked away from the girl and looked at the table in front of you. your movements halted as you saw her, you saw alexia after all these years. after ten years you saw her and she was looking directly back at you. those eyes you used to wake up next to, those hazel eyes you loved looking at.

after ten years and she still had the same effect on you as if the two of you still knew one another. god you hated that she did, you hated that she looked more beautiful since the last time you saw her.

looking at her and you suddenly were a teenage girl and in love with girl and the two of you were in her room kissing each other every chance you had.

“i’m sorry, i’ve got to go” running out the club ignoring the calls not only from jenni but from hanna and your cousin as well.

you didn’t remember how you got there but there you were at beach the two of you used to always go to. looking at the rock which had the initials of the two of you and drawings that the two of you have put.

you felt a figure sit beside you, not even having to look as that scent was so familiar. the midfielder sat down beside you and the seconds she did you got up to walk away.

her hand grabbing your wrist to stop you from fleeing.

“no ale—alexia no. you don’t get to come here and touch me like nothing happened. you were horrible to me i stuck with you through everything the highs and the lows but then you took out all your anger on me and i tried to stay but it wasn’t just that. you never showed up. i was there at every important event of yours but you never came to mine even if i told you weeks in advance there was always something to stop you from coming but that night was it. i just couldn’t do it no more”

seeing her just brought everything up again, everything that you thought you had healed all those years ago but it didn’t, it still hurt.

“i don’t blame you” her voice sweeter than ever it still sounded like pure heaven to you but how couldn’t it. it was the voice that told you that she loved you and that she was gonna marry you and so much more. you couldn’t stand that fact that it still did “i would of done the same thing, walking out on me. i was a horrible girlfriend not just after he died but before as well. my need to just be the best ruined what we had and after years of having you by my side i was so used to having you there and i took it for granted and i thought you’d stay, no matter what but i pushed you too far but losing you made me see everything that i done and how wrong i done you. the trophies mean nothing if your not by my side”

her eyes were on you but yours were focusing on the waves and the sound it made it helped you slow the tears falling down your face “seeing you with jenni, my best friend. how close she was to you, her body up against your whispering in your ear and kissing you. i don’t ever want to see that. i used to be the one to do that to you and i want to make things right. there hasn’t been a day no a second where i haven’t thought about you and i’m going to make it right cause losing you made me realise how much i love you and need you in my life”

her words caused you to look at her for the first time since the club. you had a chance to really look at her alexia had changed her hair now blonde it complimented her but you miss her brown hair.

you often thought about what would of happened if you told the girl straight up how you felt whether you’d be at the match for her instead of ana-marie. whether you’d be there after every win and lost. whether you’d still go her family’s house chatting with her mum or going out with alba to gossip or if you’d still be with her.

“alexia i— i don’t think that can happen” her eyes looking a bit sad at your words “no mila i will make us us again i’m not gonna give up on this on us”

standing up from where the two of your were sat, slowly moving away till you were by the right of her to say your last words to her “i’m glad you got everything you ever wanted” walking away but not before glancing back at her one more time.

those words hurt her more knowing you thought that she couldn’t fix this or that you didn’t want her to try at all but she had changed losing you changed her for the better “not everything” she whispered sadly looking directly at you. she let you slip away once but she wouldn’t let it happen again.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

october 2009

it was your first day at school in spain obviously you were beyond nervous, how could you not be in a place where the language wasn’t you first and only understood basic phrases.

if it wasn’t bad enough that you were the new kid you had to be the new kid who joined midway through the the term. everyone already had their established friendship groups and you would be there all alone.

your dad who was a football coach moved us here as being the coach of barça was something he couldn’t turn down, so that’s how you found yourself in barcelona. ever since finding out that you were moving you tried to learn spainsh and catalan but it was harder than you thought.

the halls were crowded with friends walking around making their way for lunch, while you walked in the complete opposite direction. lessons weren’t necessarily bad but you felt like the odd one out everyone speaking rapid spanish while you could only latch on to maybe a few words if lucky. having the teacher speak to the class and then you, which wasn’t to hurt you or make you feel separate but it did.

you had found a secluded space, the football stands. despite not being that good at the sport you felt comfort there. your dad often took you with him when he practiced. though you had never been here, every stand felt familiar and brought you comfort.

everywhere you went you had a camera always ready to capture a moment whether it was a person or scenery, taking pictures was what you were meant to do. your love for sports photography began with all the training sessions your day would take you to. when you were younger you would always complain about how boring it was but then your mum had the idea to give you a camera. and to their surprise the pictures you took were great, great enough to even be used for promo.

a brunette walked on to the pitch with a ball in her hands before going to do some football drills. the girl obviously didn’t notice you seeing as she continued to move effortlessly with the ball.

you could tell she was popular as every time someone walked pass they wave to her or have a conversation with her.

it was beautiful.

a scene worth capturing. she looked beautiful and confident in each stride. so you picked up your film camera and took multiple pictures of the girl who moved gracefully on the pitch.

she was perfected each stride except for the last which went straight for you and totally would of hit you if you hadn’t of ducked “i’m sorry, i didn’t see you there” she apologised profusely while running over to you. the language of that spoke from her lips confused you for a moment completely forgetting that you weren’t in switzerland anymore but spain “it’s okay” you face full of confusion as you didn’t know if you had said the words right.

and she continued apologising well that’s what you thought she was saying as you were completely lost and your face displayed it.

“your the new student aren’t you” finally switching to english which calmed your nerves completely “yeah, i’m sorry i’m trying to learn catalan but i’m not that good yet”

reaching for the ball behind you, grabbing it and handing it to her. you could finally look at the girl, hazel eyes which complimented her brown hair so well. “so why are you here and not eating lunch”

“i don’t really know anyone here. actually you’re the first person to really put in an effort to talk to me” shrugging your shoulders

“well you know me now”

the words spoken with a smile “alexia” putting her hand out for you to shake.

“mila”

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

present day

fate.

that’s what alexia liked to call it whenever the two of you seemed to bump into each other. at the coffee shop, in the middle of the streets, your weekly food shop and more.

obviously she was happy about seeing you but after you hadn’t seen her for ten years it was weird seeing her this often.

you slammed the door shut as you entered your flat which hanna was currently in “mila what happened for you to slamming that poor door?”

glaring at the girl with her comment “ugh i hate her why can’t she just leave me alone”

“who”

“i mean everyday i bump into her and she’ll be all happy acting as if nothing happened. asking me how my day was”

“again i don’t know who your talking about”

“it’s just why do i have to see her practically everyday—“

the spaniard grabbed your shoulders shaking them to stop you from talking “mila who? who are you talking about?”

“alexia” the words coming out slow “okay alexia who alexia jones, alexia smith. mila who’s alexia? i don’t know everything”

“alexia from the bar”

a look of realisation appeared on her face “alexia putellas!” you nodded “you know alexia what did you sleep with her or something how do you know her? why is it you who knows all the barça player and i don’t” whispering the last bit to herself.

“i kinda know her”

“yeah i’ve got that but how?”

“well i kinda used to date her” hanna’s face filled with shock cause if she was in your position she’d be telling everyone she knew “i know i should of told you but the break up was so messy we were so messy in the last few month’s. when we first met it was perfect like i was so in love and it only grew as our careers did. i’d go to her games and she’d go to my events everything was perfect. then her dad died and everything went down hill she’d start arguments over anything i did that showed that i cared. she missed my events and then i just left, couldn’t even tell her to her face or else i wouldn’t go through with it so i left her a silly letter, i left her when she needed me most”

“you used to date alexia putellas, the the caption of fc barcelona” completely ignoring everything but the first sentence

“yes hanna” slight annoyed at her for being up her name again “okay just making sure we’re talking about the same person here”

dropping yourself on the sofa and grabbing a pillow of yours to squeeze. at first hanna was going to make a joke about the two of you but she saw the way you looked over you bumbing into the captain and how much it really effected you in more ways than you wished.

“you want my opinion” looking at you and waiting for a sigh but you stayed still staring at the view form your window “okay well i’m gonna give you it anyway. well it’s clear that she still means something to you wether you want it to or not but you still love her and miss her and what the two of you had. well i don’t know alexia personally but i think if she really didn’t care about you and didn’t feel sorry she wouldn’t talk to you each time she bumps into you. i think you leaving really showed her how wrong her actions were and i think the reason she didn’t reach out is to respect your boundaries even if it hurt her.”

“all i’m saying is that it won’t hurt to at least talk things out so that the both of you can move on” pulling your head to her chests “just think about it okay”

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

february 2010

you learnt very quickly that alexia practically bleed blaugrana. you figured that out practically the first day you met.

at your old school when people found out who your dad was they would always ask for favours. like to meet the players and get stuff signed for them. so they never really wanted to be your friend.

so when you heard that you were gonna move to barcelona you made the choice to go by your mums last name instead of your dads.

though you didn’t want your mind to go there it did. you thought somehow she found a picture of you online and that’s why she started talking to you. but as the days went on she never asked for anything infact when she saw your face when she talked about the club she’d stop.

slowly you realised that maybe she was friends with you solely cause of you and not for your dad. that she actually liked you for you. most of your friends were ones from your childhood other than that you didn’t make any.

normally you wouldn’t use your dads connections for your own personal use. but it was alexia you were talking about, your alexia and seeing the smile that would come on her face would be so worth it.

alexia was gutted that she couldn’t get tickets to that game barcelona vs real madrid seeing as the game was a day after her birthday.

“alexia i have one more gift for you” pulling out the bag for behind you “mila i told you that you didn’t need to get me anything, you being here is enough” seeing as you already got her too much stuff in her eyes from new football boots which she instited that you took back and the only present she truly accepted was the necklace you bought for her.

your face could barely keep your emotions in as you were smiling so much “i know but you’ll love it i swear”

“open it please” pushing the bag more towards her. you watched as she hesitantly opened the bag and her face filled with excitement as she read what was on the paper.

“no you didn’t” she repeated before throwing herself your arms causing you to fall backwards on the floor “mila, i love you. best birthday present ever” she said while placing kisses on your cheeks which caused them to heat up.

her parents watched as the two of you hugged on the floor while her sister picked the piece of paper and showed her parent which only made their smile widen.

you were exactly what alexia needed. sure she had others friends that they thought were good enough for alexia but seeing you with her only made them realise that what they saw before was nothing like what the two of you had.

“but these were sold out how could you possibly get them and the first row” pulling away to look at you through her tear filled eyes before hugging you again “i have my ways and we even get to go on the pitch afterwards and talk to the players” you were meant to keep that last bit in but you couldn’t help it. seeing alexia happy makes you happy

“what did i do to deserve you”

what you didn’t know was the you buying the tickets was the best thing to ever happen to the two of you. after the game which barcelona won of course alexia’s words. you didn’t just get tickets for the two of you you also got tickets for her mum, dad and sister.

the lot of you made your way down the pitch. the clothes you wore which were simply a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and alexia said you should of worn the barcelona top she got you seeing as everyone but you wore one.

dragging her hand as you went on to the pitch and to your dad which she was yet to know was your dad “dad” shouting as you ran and hugged him “hi, i see you we’re finally brave enough to tell her who your dad is” whispering in your ear.

“ale, come here pls” telling the girl who stood confused next to her parents. she was really confused about her her mila knew the head coach of barcelona. “ale i’d like you to meet my dad”

“it’s nice to finally meet you alexia” bring the girl into a hug where she stood still in shock

“your dad. he’s your dad. the head coach of barcelona is your dad” pointing between the two of you “i’m sorry i should of told you but at my last school people only wanted to be friend with me cause of it and i just didn’t want that. i wanted to be sure that you were friend with me cause of me not cause of my day”

she stood still for a second her face emotionless, no tell of what she was feeling “no i get it, i’m glad that you trust me” pulling you into a hug. before you dragged her to meet the players.

safe to say that she need a minute after meeting the players. she pulled you into the bathroom, you immediately sat on the sink as you watched the girl just pace back and fourth thinking about the event that happened in the previous hour.

“mila” finally breaking the silence “i can’t believe that just happened. i always thought about how i would act if i met the players but i didn’t really think it would happen”

she stoped pacing and moved between the the gap of your legs. alexia knew that what she felt for you was stronger than her other friendships. She knew she loved you even at the start of your friendship. whether she meant it in the way she loved her friends or more she just knew that she did.

everyone your age had boyfriends, alexia claimed she doesn’t have one as she didn’t see the appeal. you on the other hand, had boys ask you out which you always declined. that was something that annoyed alexia but she’d never tell you why not that she knew why she hated it. you hadn’t been in a relationship since your boyfriend back in switzerland.

she loved you. your hair, your eyes the way you’d smiled or how you generally were intrigue in the silly stories she tell you. maybe it was the little to no distance between the two of you or the high from meeting her football idols that made her do it. but she did

alexia’s hand went to your cheek which you leaned into. her eyes flickering between your eyes and lips.

her lips were suddenly placed on yours moving but it was your turn to stand still in shock. when you didn’t reciprocate she moved away “mila, i’m sorry that was a mistake. i hope i haven’t ruined this—” placing your lips on hers showing her that you felt the same. your hand wrapped around her neck pulling you closer, wanting to feel more of her on you. the two of you seemed to forget that this was a bathroom as the two of you were lost in each other.

kissing your ex never felt like this, like you were on cloud nine.

“best birthday present ever” alexia spoke between kisses and went to deepen the last when a knock stopped it from happening. causing the two of you to laugh.

“we should go” you murmured kissing her and dragging her out of the bathroom.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

present day

unblock alexiaputellas

unblocked

unblocking was first thing you done since your talk with hanna. you told yourself that you were doing it to finally move on but part of you done it to i guess see her but at the some time not. watch her life from afar.

the second you pressed that button you saw ten years worth of memories that you could of been part of. her first cap for her country, days out with her family, winning the league and the one that hurt most her signing for barcelona. the one you promised to be there for.

milacc

hey

the notification on alexia’s screen caused her to drop her home phone in the changing room once she saw it. gaining looks form all her teammates especially once they saw her face.

alexiaputellas

hi

milacc

we need to talk

i know you have a team meet up tomorrow can I meet you there???

if not we can find a better date

alexiaputellas

no that fine

i’m sure all my teammates will be fine with you coming

milacc

perfect see you tomorrow

alexiaputellas

wait

how do you know about tomorrow?

milacc

ana-maria told me

alexiaputellas

how do you know ana

milacc

she’s my cousin

alexiaputellas

she’s the ana you said you always missed

makes sense now she’s exactly how you said she was

milacc

yeah

anyway i’ve got to go work is calling

bye

alexiaputellas

bye

see you tomorrow

when you texted her yesterday the meet up it was meant to be at a cafe, but once that heard how many people were coming they said the party was too big.

so you got a text from ana-maria saying that it was being held a alexia place. arriving at her place didn’t really setting in till you went inside.

hesitantly you knocked on the door, rocking back and forth on your feet. when the door finally opened it revealed alexia.

“hi” putting her into a small hug a hug in which she missed more than words could describe. she would of held on a little longer if you hadn’t pulled away when something fluffy ran towards you.

“nala, my baby. oh how i’ve missed you”

picking up her dog which couldn’t contain her excitement in your arms and kissing you’re face. now you’ve known nala since alexia first got her. she claimed that she got it for her but she also knew how much you loved dogs.

when nala was little she spent most of her time with you so she got very close to you and you would also joke saying that you were nala’s favorite ( you were ) even though alexia would never admit it.

obviously it wouldn’t be that bad seeing as you’d have ana-maria here with you so if you needed a break you’d could just go to her.

once fully being inside her place you muttered a quick hi to the other girls and giving jenni a small hug before sitting down and the only seat that was left was next to alexia.

once all the greeting and introductions were done you took a sip of the coffee that alexia got for you and it was exactly how you liked.

she remembered after all these years.

“so mila how do you know ana-maria?”

the two swiss girls looked at each other “she’s my cousin” they all looked between them and only then saw the similarities between the two.

you liked the girls they genuinely seemed like nice girls and you got on with everyone. alexia smiled while she watched you talk to her friends and imagined that this was the everyday norm. she imagined that you were her girlfriend and this was normal.

made her want this back even more.

while talking to the girls you had a proper look at her place. you noticed things that the others wouldn’t like the candle holder, the swiss book that’s you loved, flower pot and many more.

after years she still had your things littered around her place as if it was ours. alexia knew that it was wrong but she didn’t have you in her life and this was the best she would get.

jana came back through the bathroom door with a video camera in her hands and a sneaky smile “you’ll never guess what i found?”

alexia looked over at jana and what she was holding and launched herself at jana to grab it but failed “this has old video of alexia”

“jana no” giving the girl a serious look but that did nothing seeing as the girl started to play the video on the tv.

it was video that you instead on taking documenting you and Jaume’s journey to her games. it was a tradition every game you’d vlog your journey.

the clip was half played and you were stood in the stands cheering as alexia’s father recorded the two of you. alexia scored and instead of celebrating with her teammates she ran over to you and kissed you, a type of kiss that makes you lose train of thought.

your eyes stared at the video, frozen in place. you hadn’t seen this video since the two of you broke up.

the next clip cut to after the match where he was recording the two of you whispering sweet nothings to eachother sneaking in a kiss every now and then. so stuck in your own world you didn’t notice the camera turning from you to him saying ‘if alexia doesn’t marry this girl, i won’t believe in love. they’re made for each other”

then the screen went black.

you were stuck in your seat, you have never seen this clip before. did he really think that? that the two of you were made for each other. cause if he did he’d be shocked at how the two of you were now.

“what?” you questioned as jana looked at the you and the the scene repeatedly “the two of you look a like”

the realisation finally settling in for her and just as she was about to ask more questions the door opening stopped her. but what came next answered her question anyway.

“alexia you forgot your phone at my place” a voice called taking the phone from her bag, finally looking up to see you.

“mila”

then her sister shouted in joy before running over to you and wrapping her arms around you, completely forgetting about why she originally came here.

obviously you thought about the possibility of bumping in to her family but somehow it never did.

you loved alba with all your heart and missed her at lot more than you’d like to admit. the two of you got on so well it annoyed alexia seeing as her sister would always steal you from her. but it wasn’t just her you missed it was her family in general especially her mum. her food, her hugs, talks and so much more.

“i missed you so much. why didn’t you call or text i missed you so much but that put aside does this mean that you guys have sorted this out seeing as well in the same room together. oh i can’t wait to talk to mum, she’s misses you so much”

you tried to intervene to stop her from basically telling everyone what you didn’t want them to know but it was to late.

“alba, we’re not back together”

the joy slipped from her face sadness now replacing it. thought the two of you were speaking catalan most of girl’s definitely understood everything.

jenni looked at you, the scene from the club making sense. you walking out once you saw alexia “wait you and alexia were a thing?”

“she’s the alexia that broke your heart” ana on the other hand heard everything when the two of you broke up and let’s just say she didn’t want to be face to face with the girl.

“yeah erm we used to date when we were younger back at school and ana don’t start anything please” seeing the glare that was sent to alexia.

things started to click them for mapi “wait she’s the girl” whispering quietly to her best friends which she only nodded a yes to.

now mapi knew everything from the way the two of you met to how you guys broke up. she was the only one who knew why alexia would reject every girl that came her way, why she was extra quite and sad on your birthday.

grabbing the younger putellas sister and pulling her into the spare bedroom “i’m so sorry, i spoke without thinking. i was just so happy that i saw you two together i just assumed. i’m sorry”

“i’m not mad at you okay. i know you didn’t mean to say all that” smiling at the girl weekly.

sitting down to the bed that seemed to be alexia’s. you thought that your stuff outside her room was a lot but in here there was so much more, even some pictures of the two of you.

“she still loves you, you know” stinging next to you “she knows she messed up, trust me”

you finally looked at alba “you know i was the who found this place. we were looking for places for when barça finally signed her and i fell in love with this place the second i saw it” a small tear falling from your eye’s

“i thought that i could do this, be around her. but i can’t, i don’t know how to anymore”

alba pulled you back into the hug holding just like you held her when she first got her heart broken all those years ago.

and the two of you stayed there for a while, as you didn’t want to let go. her hugs always made you feel comfortable and you needed that right now.

finally re-entering the room with your makeup touched up. the room was a little tense with all that has been uncovered.

“so i slept with the both of you” were the words that finally broke silence. both yours and alexia eye’s widened.

you looked at jenni “oh please tell me your joking” she slowly shook her head no. everyone was quiet expect for alba who found the whole funny minus the part where they were talking about her sisters sex life.

“well at least tell me i was better” telling a joke trying to lighten the situation but jenni couldn’t tell that it was a joke and answered truthfully tilting her head towards you.

“jenni i was joking you didn’t have to answer that i was just trying to lighten the mood”

alexia didn’t think it was as funny mumbling some words in catalan “what” the words slightly harsh.

“it’s just that i taught you like everything” looking at you as if her words were factual “you taught me everything. no alexia who was the who was a virgin when we met not me, you. also i wasn’t the sex crazed one you were”

“no i remember it otherwise but what do i know plus i have proof” her words to the rest of the girls sounded like nonsense and to you as well till it all clicked “omg don’t tell me you still have that, ale. tell me that you deleted it”

the two of you seemed to forget that it want just the both of you and the rest of the team was there as well and well most of them understood everything.

“i forgot, okay”

alba who was currently sat in your lap finally spoke up making a joke as usual “well don’t tell me it was a sex tape?” laughing seeming as it was something that you as well as her sister would never do something like that.

but with the both of you stilling and looking around away awkwardly not meeting her eyes “your joking right”

“it was accidental” was the only excuse you could come up with. but it wasn’t a lie you only put the camera there so you could film her reaction but then one thing led to another.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

june 2010

from that day forward the two of you where inseparable always at each others house. you were always at ale’s games with her dad no matter what. you were there when she made her debut, there when she scored her first goal, there when she won games and there when she lost.

you and alexia were in the best place you’ve ever been. always staying at her place and kissing when ever the two of you were left alone. you didn’t know when you guys changed from best friends to girlfriend??? but the day after that game things changed since then.

you didn’t know what the two of you were but you loved it. the lovesick girls layed on alexia’s bed, with her head in your lap and you stroking her hair.

it was moments like these that you lived for the simplicity of them as all the two girl could think about was each other.

now since then your spainsh and catalan had improved immensely due to alexia who helped you every day with it. the truth was that alexia loved hearing you speak her language it made her love you even more.

“you know no matter what you the most important thing in my life” the brunette girl confessed.

“more important than football” jokingly already knowing that she’d choose football as it was such an important part of her life.

twisting her body to look at you directly at you “yeah, you come first no matter what” you’re face softening at her words that made you love her more if possible.

“really”

“yeah really”

moving up to kiss you, which slowly started to get more heated as she started to pull your shirt over your head and you doing the same to her.

the kiss getting more eager before alba walked in screaming in schock at what the two of you were doing, before covering her eyes. the two of you jumping away from each other and rushing to get your tops on so you were decent.

“the two of you” her finger pointing between both of you “you and alexia. mila and you” still in shock at the scene in front of her which was you hiding your blushed face in her pink pillow and ale glaring at her sister.

yes there was a you and alexia but at the same time there wasn’t as the two of you weren’t exclusive.

“yes alba me and mila. now please leave!”

“oh i’m so telling mum and dad”

“alba!!!”

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

present day

the girls finally left alexia’s home, leaving you alone with her. something that you dreaded being alone with her, something that use to be so normal and comforting for the both of you. but now it was the opposite unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

none of you have said a word for about twenty minutes, just looking at the wall looking at all the things that used to be yours.

“mila” your hands moving up to tell her to stop which she did.

“i don’t even know why i asked to talk to you.” laughing slightly at the situation “i can’t even be in the same room as you anymore without feeling uncomfortable”

alexia eyes filled with hurt as that was never something that she wanted to make you feel.

“hanna said i should listen to your side of this so i can move on. cause she says it’s killing me now.”

killing you

those words rang through her head.

she looked up at you “okay” her words very weak and sad

“i was a shit girlfriend, i remind myself of it everyday. alba reminds me as well and if she doesn’t someone else in my family says how badly i messed it up with you. you were— no you are my everything and i hate the fact i lost site of that. that being the best clouded what mattered most to me. you.”

tears started to fill your eyes even though you really didn’t what them to.

“before he died, and i’m not saying this is an excuse but i was under so much pressure and i just wanted to make him proud before he died. but in doing so i treated you so bad and im so ashamed of it and i deserve every bad thing that comes my way and more”

“he would of been proud of you no matter what alexia. he was so proud to call you his daughter”

tears finally fell from her eyes hearing you say that, cause if you said it it must of been true. on top of that you always knew what her dad thought, the two of you always got alone so well and that was one of the reasons alexia loved you.

twiddling your hand in your lap “why didn’t you ever try to reach out”

“i wanted to respect your boundaries even if it hurt me not to and i really wanted to but if you wanted to talk to me you would of and you clearly didn’t”

“i love you enough to leave you alone if that’s what you want”

and it was. at least that’s what you thought you wanted. and any time you thought otherwise you remembered exactly why you left all those years ago. but that wasn’t really her and you knew that but what’s gonna stop her from acting like that towards you again. so you said that even if you didn’t truly mean it.

“yeah that’s what i want”

the words not sounding convincing to any of you but neither of you said a thing. you got up and went home free of any thoughts of alexia and she only ended up having more thoughts of you even though every bone of her body tried not to.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

july 2012

everything slowly went downhill with the more goals she scored and games she played, the more she changed. while alexia career was growing so was your as you stated to post your photos online as it got recognition.

at the start she was happy at every achievement you had seeing just how happy it made you. whenever you had an exhibition and if she was free she was there and if she couldn’t her family we always be there no matter what.

slowly she would start missing them even if she had a day off and it was fine at the seeing as she had a packed schedule and was probably tired but after the fifth time it just became annoying her family would ask you where she was a you would have to come up with some stupid excuse seeing as you didn’t even know why.

then her dad died which expectedly changed her seeing how close she was to him. his death hurt you as over the years the two of you created a bond going to alexia games together. you kept it together until she was out, but instead of crying as everyone else did she took it out on you.

“ale, it okay to cry. it’s a natural thing to do you don’t need to hide that from me”

“god mila! why can’t you just leave me alone twenty four seven your on my case. i can never have a moment to myself. your always there even when i’m out your texting me every second trying to see how i am”

the words coming out of her mouth with no look of regret in her eyes or an attempt to apologise to you. “sorry, i’ll just go for a walk” your words said small and barley to be heard if it wasn’t for her being right next to you.

you tried to play this off as a one time thing but it wasn’t. it happened every day and a you put up with it until it was all to much.

you had to leave.

so while she was with her family one night you packed all your things leaving behind all the photos that you put up of the two of you, the decorations that you found and put up to fill the rooms and make it feel like home.

only leaving behind a letter.

alexia came home late that night going straight to the bed and stopping agh the door seeing as you weren’t laying in it, her eyes roaming the room to look for a sign of you only to see the wardrobe empty of your clothes. she rushed through their place searching every room for a sign of you but each one she saw less with each piece of your stuff being gone but a letter addressed to her.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

present day

it was late when you got the call. the ringing jolting you awake from your sleep. at first you were annoyed, who would call you at this hour but then you saw the contact name.

my albs 💞

she hadn’t called you since you broke up with alexia, so it must be important right? her words sounded all jumbled up due to your tiredness and the only words you got was.

“alexia, she’s hurt. please come”

and how couldn’t you, not when alba sounded like that, so you got on the next flight to england. your bags had clothes that didn’t even match due to how you just chucked your clothes in there.

when you got to the hospital, you saw both alba and eli standing outside of a room. the second alba saw you she ran into your arms holding you tight making sure you wouldn’t leave. the second you pulled away you immediately pulled eli into a hug from the first time in over ten years. that hug only made you realise just how much you missed her.

“what happened?”

“she’s done her acl” you paused when you heard that, obviously you knew how bad an acl was, ana knew a few people who did theirs and she would talk to you about how severe it could be. how it was something no footballer wanted to do in their career.

alba looked at you with guilt all over her face “i know that you said you wanted her to leave you alone, but she doesn’t want the surgery and we can’t convince her. she’s saying she deserves it and i don’t know why she would think that. but i know she’ll listen to you and do it if she asks you”

glancing through the glass at alexia who was sleeping and well she looked peaceful. she looks the same as she did when she was younger and you two would sleep at each other.

looking defeated “fine, i’ll do it. but only cause you asked”

opening the door and you were just about to enter when a hand grabbed your wrist “thank you mila” eli spoke softly really appreciating what you were doing even though she knew it wasn’t easy for you.

sitting on the edge of her hospital bed, gently grabbing her hand and whispering her name sounding hesitant which you were. you said you never wanted to see her again and here you are sat beside her going to convince her to get the surgery just to leave again.

after saying her name a few times her eyes started to open, blinking a few times to make sure she was really seeing her and it wasn’t the drugs she was on.

her voice was weak, barely to be heard “mila”

“yeah i’m here alexia, im here”

hearing these words she finally broke down, tears rolling down her cheeks as she collapsed in your lap.

“do the surgery ale, please” she immediately shook her head no “alexia please just do the surgery. you need to get it done okay”

“i can’t mila, i can’t. i deserve it okay i deserve this acl for every bad thing that i’ve done in my life” finally looking up at you “for everything i’ve done to you, this is my karma and im okay with that”

“alexia just do the surgery please. i’ll never be able to live with myself if you didn’t do it cause of me ale. so don’t do it for yourself do it for me please?”

she nodded weakly she could never say no to you even when you were teenagers. she held on to you tighter than even scared you were gonna disappear if she ever let go. but after a while the drugs did get the best of her making her fall into a sleep.

outside the room alexia’s family were met with some of her teammates who came to see how she was doing.

mapi was the first to speak up about what everyone was thinking “so she’s the girl alexia still in love with. also how’d you get her here cause last i heard she wanted nothing to do with ale”

“she doesn’t. i begged her to come because i knew she was the only one who could convince her”

their gaze fell on to the two of you. your hand stroking alexia’s hair as she rested in your lap. to alba and eli they just saw the teenage version on you guys, as they’d always catch you two like that. and to her teammates it looked like two girls who are still very much in love.

gently you picked up alexa’s arm trying your hardest not to wake her up. once free you glanced at her seeing her stir around for a bit then finally settling again.

alba and eli looked at you with a little hope in their eyes “so, did you get her to do it?”

nodding yes “she thinks she deserves it because of what happened between the us.”

“thank you, mila. i know this isn’t ideal so thank you for convincing her to do it” eli hugged you tightly to show her thanks.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

july 2012

dear alexia my love,

i’m sorry.

i tried to stay strong and stick with you but i couldn’t. each day i leave the house and i dread coming back knowing that the second i walk through that door your going to complain about something that i’ve done or that i annoy you to much and care about you to much. i’m sorry that i make you feel that way all i wanted to do was try and give you some sort of comfort in this hard time.

i don’t think in knew that i was gay when we first met but i knew that you were going to be an important part of my life. i think that i’ve loved you since that day.

i miss when we’d actually go out for dinner or even go to your parents so i could see your family who i’ve grown to love over the years. i miss when i’d got to your games and it would be care free seeing you balance me and football.

losing your dad was the hardest thing you’ll ever go through and i miss him to i haven’t show you as i try to stay strong for you but i miss him and i feel guilty saying that seeing as he’s your dad and he was only ever i guess my girlfriends dad. but i miss our weekly drives to your games where we’d laugh about anything and he’d teach me some more phrases in catalan as i’m still not completely fluent and in return i’d teach him some swiss german and even though his pronunciation wasn’t the best his heart was in a good place and he put in an effort.

in a time where you need me the most and need the ones you love most around you, well i think i’m one of them at least and i know deciding to leave you now of all times is cruel but i can’t go on like this.

i wish i could stay strong and make it through this rough patch but we weren’t good even before he died you’d miss my exhibitions you said you were going to and wouldn’t even tell me why and i’d have to lie to your family as to why you weren’t there but i can’t do this anymore i’m so sad in our relationship. i really did try to push through but every day i do something wrong in your eyes and i just let you shout at me.

that not healthy.

so goodbye ale i wish you the best in your life and i’ll love you forever. i really wish we could be better but maybe we’re just not meant for each other and that okay. in another lifetime we got married and had kids, you’ll get every award for club and country ( i still think you can do it in this one ) and i’ll be right by you’re side. but it’s just a dream, a what if.

i’ll never regret meeting you.

love from

your mila or just mila now i guess

and for the first time in weeks alexia cried.

she cried for you at first but slowly it was for her dad and then for her actions towards you. she saw it now and in the time where she needed you most to hold her and tell her it was alright you weren’t there and it was all her fault and she knew it was.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

present day

not that any of you guys saw it but alexia tearing her acl had one good thing come out of it and that was you talking to her again.

at first it was checking up on her, seeing how she was even making some food for her on her worst day.

you were the only person she let see that side of her.

being in her life again made it all worth it in her eyes. you actually smiled at her again instead of groaning in annoyance whenever you saw her.

the world finally saw alexia in love in her documentary. they saw the genuine smile that you brought to her face. they saw a side of alexia they’d never seen before, her being in love.

it showed you two just doing little things nothing that would indicate that you were together, but enough to know that she cared about you deeply.

the fans fought it made sense alexia ‘dating’ the coaches daughter of the men’s teams. it made sense to them why he’d always had a closer relationship with alexia, how he sent her a birthday wish or even how she’d be seen at the men’s game more than the others.

you’re dad never talked about her not after the first time where you burst out crying.

one episode stood out to her fans specifically it was an evening at eli’s place the two of you sat next to each other your head resting on hey shoulder. alexia whispering some joke about her sister in your ear which made you hit her saying that it was rude. then there was a clip of you dancing with one of her nieces while she looked at you like a lovesick fool.

it was late at night when she said she wanted to take you somewhere.

“is the blindfold really necessary” you laughed while alexia hand guided you making sure you didn’t trip or fall. which was no help as you still managed to do so.

“yes now shush”

you finally came to a stop “okay perfect”

she gently pulled the blindfold off and place was too familiar. it was where you first met her.

looking at the pitch and seeing just how much has changed since you’ve last been here “how’d you ever get us in here”

“i said i’d come one day and talk to the team” you both knew how much she hated public speaking but if this worked it be worth it.

“so any reason you took us here of all places. we both know how much you hated school” and she did the only positive about going was that she got to see you.

and then she said it.

“i did it on purpose” you looked at her completely confused about what she was talking about “i kicked the ball at you on purpose”

“i saw you sat up there and you looked so cute and i just wanted to talk to you and the first thing that came to my mind was to do that cause then i’d have to come up and apologise”

you busted out in laughter at the confession and her rosey cheeks “i know” causing her face to be full of embarrassment.

“what”

“i’m not dumb okay. i saw how controlled you were on the pitch you wouldn’t make a silly mistake like that if it wasn’t on purpose. i just never said anything cause i knew you would be embarrassed”

her gaze was now anywhere but you. all these years you knew and you never said a word till ten years later. if alba found this out she’d be dying of laughter at how awkward her sister can be at times.

scratching the side of her neck “i thought i was was slick about it but i guess not”

“i found it cute” making her checks go ever darker “but i’m still confused as to why we’re here”

“yes i nearly forgot” talking a deep breath in to calm her nerves “give me another chance”

your eyes widened. sure you thought about alexia like that again since the two of you started talking but what if that happened again.

“i know that our story hasn’t been the easiest but your the love of my life okay. being without you all those years was torture and seeing you with my family only makes me want to be with you more. but i don’t want to rush you, i wanted to show you that i’ve changed and that i’ll never treat you like how i did before”

“so mila crnogorčević please be my girl again”

option one ) you could say yes and do what you honestly wanted to do since talking to her again. you were still very much if not more in love with her than ever. it would end with the two of you would get married and have kids or breaking up again but then at least you’d know it wasn’t meant to be.

option two ) say no and keep your heart safe from what you felt all those years ago.

you were torn you wanted to say yes but at the same time you didn’t.

but the truth was that you missed her. you missed when she’d grab your hand when she could tell you were nervous. you missed waking up from her kissing your back. you missed when she’d run straight for you after a match. you ever missed her annoying you over the littlest thing.

you just missed her.

“mila—” she didn’t even get to finish the sentence before your lips placed themselves on her’s exactly like her’s did in the bathroom in camp nou all those years ago.

“so i’m gonna take that as a yes” speaking between kisses not wanting to stop at all “yes alexia now shut up and kiss me”

and she did without a second thought.

[jadeoxfordrose]

#honestly one thing i really like about matt murdock's catholic guilt as a superhero is how it compares to peter parker's jewish guilt#matt like. frequently engages in superherosim as a form of self-punishment#he gets the absolute SHIT kicked out of him#and he wears his bruises and his marks like saint fuckin sebastian#and there is a sense through so much of it like. gritted teeth and clenched fists#taking the punches and the blows#that there is a real sense for every life he doesn't save he has sinned and is sinning#and it obviously becomes more potent for him when he feels he's been backed into a sinful corner#or when he's having sex or lustful thoughts#or when he's been drinking or having Too Much Fun and relaxing too much#bc whenever he feels pleasure and something bad happens#his brain connects the two and says REPENTANCE!#and matt murdock's hail marys tend to involve not just attempting to resolve the problem but taking a lot of punches#meanwhile peter parker like. jewish guilt is a different flavour to catholic guilt#peter parker doesn't feel guilty after he makes a wry or sassy comment the way matt murdock does now and then#bc he worries it's what Caused a death - he wasn't taking it seriously enough he was provocative he was hubristic#peter parker runs his mouth off all day long and says the wrong thing 8 times out of 10 on a good day#but it's nothing to feel guilty about#and when he fucks up even when he hurts himself or fumbles a cool entrance or whatever else like. there's no guilt there either#but while he also feels horribly guilty whenever he feels he's caused a death it's less like#i have to punish myself - he absolutely does have those streaks for acute periods of time don't get me wrong#but it's far more. oh god. someone else has died#and whether it was my fault or not i have to do my best to make it good#because why else is it right that i've gone on surviving? what the fuck made me more worthy? nothing! so i have to make it good#so much of jewish guilt is like. this horrible knowledge and awareness of how much others have sacrificed for you.#knowingly or not. knowing YOU or not. how many people have died or suffered to make you and your life possible#and what are you doing to make all that worth it huh? what are you doing to carry that gift on? is it enough? is it ever enough?#it's just so interesting when you think of MM and PP in contrast to one another when like. they are in so many ways similar#often funny in their red costumes and w their acrobatics and with their aching tragedy and Big Feelings underneath the wry commentary#but the specific flavour of the man is so different. very chewy via @johannestevans

Been a really long time since I've watched Daredevil but I do remember coming away from it feeling like it presented a pretty compelling internally-consistent moral justification for the vigilante thing. You're not planet-crackingly powerful, it's just that you can hear, in detail, every awful thing your neighbors are doing to each other, every night that they're doing it. You can't not know and you can't pretend not to know and when the kid tells you the next day that he just fell down the stairs you can't fall back on the provided ambiguity to absolve yourself of your responsibility to act. Semi-relatedly, you're really really good at martial arts. Start the clock

[dammit-tazmuir]

For all the things this fandom refuses to believe and chalks up to John's lies, the thing that baffles me to see so many believe without question is the idea of Perfect Lyctorhood.

Guys. Guys, there is no Perfect Lyctorhood.

Or at best, if there hypothetically could be, it's nothing we've ever seen. Paul is the closest thing and I know a lot of you would not consider Paul perfect. John did not achieve Perfect Lyctorhood, and it wasn't even his idea to claim he did. A quarter of NtN extensively details that he didn't.

The old Lyctors didn't know what Alecto was. John definitely told them more than he would have liked to, because of course she doesn't lie and is too obviously inhuman to hide it fully. But if they knew everything, Mercy wouldn't doubt that Alecto ever had a genetic code; she would know she didn't, or that any genes she might've had were made from John's own blood and bone.

Because they didn't know what she actually was or what actually happened (foreshadowed too by Mercy's "if you had lied about anything else" lines, when actually he did), they drew the wrong conclusion. They assumed something different in his process allowed Alecto to persist. But we now know the truth is that Alecto was simply too big to consume. She didn't die because she was already limitless. This will never apply to another human. But he lets them believe their conclusion because he thinks it's better and easier to talk his way out of than them figuring out the real truth.

It does remain possible that Anastasia and Samael were genuinely on the cusp of that breakthrough, but I honestly doubt it. That was another conclusion drawn by the Lyctors as a follow-up to the previous wrong one, and when John answers, he visibly hesitates. It feels like he's once again going, "....Sssure, yes, let's go with that." I don't know what Samael and Anastasia WERE on the verge of. Maybe they would have become gestalt like Paul, and the possibility of just one dying was why Pal begged Cam "don't look back", and John was afraid of the power they'd achieve (could Paul have greater thalergy than a normal Lyctor?) and/or of just the others seeing a different process and getting mad at him.

AND/OR, ACTUALLY? Especially if their attempt was one of the earlier ones (around the middle rather than the end), but even if it wasn't: I think a Paul situation has a STRONG possibility of being exactly what happened. John's most outright lies are usually the ones other people tell that he just nods along with. When it's from himself, if it's not feigned incompetence, he usually goes for half-truths and misleading truths. He says Anastasia panicked halfway through and if he hadn't stepped in they would have both died. I think it's very possible that John panicked halfway through as he realized what they were doing, and that it's genuinely true they would have both died— in the same way Camilla and Palamedes both died, to create someone new.

And we know how much John hates change. How desperately John needs to keep his specific people close. What are the odds he was so afraid of losing both of them and being left with a new person he didn't know, couldn't predict, and couldn't easily control with them having a whole Lyctor's power and maybe more? Especially if Cyth and Loveday, Cassy and Nigella, Cyrus and Valancy, Ulysses and Titania, maybe even G1deon and Pyrrha— if any others hadn't undergone the process yet, and there was a chance they'd see Samastastia and decide that was the path they wanted too. If he thought this meant he might lose all his friends instead of only the less favored half.

Either way, though, based on everything we know, there is no simple soul swap that results in dual immortality. Even John and Alecto involve a fusion of megasoul. "You and she are one." (This is also likely how a seemingly real facet of John could talk to Harrow in Alecto's dream.) And we've seen through NtN, the soul longs for the body. The body longs for the soul. A body housing a different soul doesn't last long, even when those souls ARE semi connected. A body even temporarily renting space to a foreign soul is a massive strain, like Cam carrying Pal.

Lyctorhood inherently involves death and consumption and acting against nature. It is the indelible sin. It's possible that Grand Lysis avoids that sin by making it about mutual death, about giving instead of taking, but it's still bittersweet at best. I highly doubt we're going to see a perfect solution that fixes everything, at least via more necromancy, because that's not the kind of series this is. It's messy, beautiful in its flaws, embracing the understanding that life is change and things can never be exactly as they were, and can rarely be exactly what you want, and letting go and moving on are necessary parts of life eventually.

Don't misunderstand! I do think Gideon will either be resurrected (perhaps the last true one ever) or there will be another way for her and Harrow to happily be together. In Gideon's case, there was nothing natural about her death, and the decision to say "no" is a rejection of the system that led to it.

I just also think the odds of rewriting the laws of life and death entirely are more likely than Lyctorhood But With No Consequences. It always has consequences. There is no Perfect Lyctorhood, but there's something good on the horizon, whatever form it takes. After all...

"There are more worlds than this. Come with us. We are the love that is perfected by death, but even death will be no more. Death can also die. There's still time, Ianthe. Time for you and for Naberius Tern."

[rowdyluv]

Talk to Me - jh86

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: jack is stressing over how y/n is bottling something up that happened at the event they attended together. but he just wants her to open up to him like she always has

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: mild language, angst, fake dating, anxious themes, oblivious characters,

© property of rowdyluv ; do not copy and re-upload as your own - anywhere. do not place my work inside AI codes, do not translate.

"Quinn, man, she's just not herself," Jack said, his forehead creased with worry as he talked to his brother’s face through the phone. The bright screen cast a bluish glow on his face, making the shadows under his eyes more pronounced. “Well. She’s herself by being closed off and not telling people what’s wrong. But.”

“But…. she’s not telling you what’s wrong and that isn’t like her.” Quinn cut his younger, middle brother off.

Jack hummed in response. Relieved that Quinn at least understood that part of the situation. Quinn has known her just as long as him, so he figured calling big brother was an appropriate option for some advice.

Quinn's voice grew softer. "Jack, have you ever thought that maybe Y/n's still dealing with what went down at the charity gala? You know she isn’t actually superwoman contrary to your all’s longest running matching halloween costumes.”

Jack was quiet for a moment. Contemplating how to answer his brother’s absurd question. “Of course I have, Q. That is all I have thought about for four days now.” Jack drug one of his hands down his face and groaned in frustration. “Since when do her and I not talk to each other?”

Quinn sighs heavily on the other side of the screen, his voice thick with annoyance towards his brother’s oblivion. "Jack, you know, you can be pretty clueless sometimes.”

“What the fuck Quinn? How did this suddenly become the time to insult me?”

Quinn rolled his eyes and propped his phone up on his coffee table. He sat up, placing his elbows on his knees, looking right at Jack through the phone’s camera. "Jack, she is your best friend. You claim to know everything about her. Or that you know her best. If that is true, we wouldn’t be on the phone arguing about why she’s avoiding what happened."

Jack frowned and whispered, feeling attacked. "I do know her best.”

“And I know you both pretty damn well.” Quinn laughed. “So. I'm going to bet that she isn't avoiding the topic of the WAGs.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard you say this month.”

“Do you want to hear what I have to say or not, dumbass?”

Jack didn't respond to him, hoping he would take the silence as an invitation.

“Alright then. If what you told me about the ‘special moment’ you two shared is true. She could be avoiding you because of that. Think about that one.

Jack’s eyes snapped to the phone, his heart racing. He felt like the air was being sucked out of the room. “What do you mean? We have shared many hugs before. Many close moments. So what I felt like I was in heaven at that moment? She didn’t but I had it for a minute. She doesn’t care?.”

“Would you listen to yourself? Many close moments, many hugs, felt like you were in heaven? What about her? What did she feel? Had you discussed being that open about your arrangement in public yet? Or did you blindside her to have your fill?”

“Quinn.. I—. I have to go. Thank you, I love you.”

“Love you too, Jacky. Good luck.”

‘Rowdy dude. I believe you fucked up.’

————————

Jack stared at the phone screen for a moment longer before hanging up. He had been pacing the length of his bedroom, his thoughts a tumultuous mess. Quinn’s words echoed in his mind, making him feel like he had missed something crucial. He took a deep breath and headed to the couch where Y/n was curled up, fast asleep. Her chest gently rose and fell with each breath, and the soft light from the nearby lamp danced across her features. Jack was not going to wake her to let her know he was running out. He grabbed a pen and paper to leave her a note.

He scribbled down a quick message, feeling his stomach knot at the thought of her finding it. "Gone to grab a few things. Be back soon. Love ya, J." He placed the note on the coffee table and grabbed his keys. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving the apartment eerily quiet.

Jack drove to the local floral shop, his mind racing with thoughts of what to say to her. The cool evening air brushed against his skin as he exited the car and walked through the quiet streets. The bell on the door jingled merrily as he stepped into the warm, fragrant oasis of color. The woman behind the counter looked up from her book, a gentle smile spreading across her face. "Can I help you find something?"

"I'm looking for some flowers," he began, his voice a bit shakier than he'd like. "I need lilies, daffodils, and some cosmos."

The woman nodded understandingly, her eyes twinkling. "Ah, sounds like you're trying to brighten someone's day," she said knowingly. "Lilies for purity, daffodils for new beginnings, and cosmos for a bit of whimsy. A lovely combination."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle nervously. "I hope so. They're for my best friend, Y/n. She's had a tough week."

The woman's smile grew as she began to gather the flowers. "Best friends are the best kind of people to have. Tell her they're for making bad days a bit brighter."

Jack nodded, his mind racing. "Could you make them into a bouquet, please?"

"Of course, dear," the woman replied warmly. "Let me wrap these up for you. They're going to make a beautiful bouquet."

Jack felt a twinge of hope as he watched her arrange the flowers. He knew that Y/n would appreciate the gesture, its who she is, and maybe, it would be the catalyst for the conversation they needed to have. He paid for the bouquet and stepped back out into the evening light, ready to get dinner and head back home.

The pizza place was a short drive away, a place they've been going to each week since she movec. It had the perfect blend of cheese and sauce that made their taste buds dance. As he walked in, the familiar smell of fresh dough and baked bread greeted him. The bell jingled over the door and the cashier looked up, recognizing him immediately. "Jack! The usual?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"Yes, please," he replied. She wasn’t necessarily picky with her food, but when it came to this pizza, she was a creature of habit. Pepperoni, ONLY just how she liked it. He watched as the pizzamaker expertly tossed the dough and spread the sauce, feeling a sense of comfort in the familiar routine.

As the pizza baked, Jack couldn��t help but recall the way Y/n's eyes lit up when she took that first bite, how she'd always save a piece for him to share. It was these little moments that made their friendship so special.

‘Friendship?’ His inner thoughts screamed and echoed and ping-ponged around his skull so loudly Jack didnt notice the cashier was trying to get attention to pay.

Jack nodded absentmindedly, pulling out his wallet. "Oh, right." He mumbling his apology and handed over the money. "Keep the change," he said, a little too eagerly, and practically bolted out the door.

The ride home was a blur. He barely noticed the scenery passing by, his thoughts consumed by Quinn's words and the weight of his own feelings. When he pulled up to the apartment complex, his heart felt heavier than the bouquet of flowers in his hand. The elevator ride to their floor was painfully slow, each ding of the passing floors a seeming to get louder and louder.

Jack's palms were slick with nerves as he unlocked the door and stepped into their shared space. The TV was playing softly in the background and the couch was now abandoned. He sat the pizza box on the coffee table.

He called out her name tentatively. The silence that followed was deafening.

With no response he peaked around the corner and down the hallway. There was a bit of light spilling out from under the crack of the door. He took a deep breath and went to knock gently, the bouquet in one hand, his heart in the other.

"Y/n? Can I come in?"

The door to her bedroom cracked open slightly, and a confused gaze met his from the other side. She had been crying again, Jack could see the redness around her eyes and the way her cheeks were still wet with tears.

His heart feels like it just had a skate ran over it.

Jack held out the bouquet, his heart hammering in his chest like a drum. "I brought these for you," he said softly, trying to keep his voice steady. "To make the bad days seem a bit brighter."

Y/n stared at the flowers, her eyes widening with surprise. She had never seen him so nervous before, not even when he was about to go on the ice for a big game. She took the bouquet from his hand, her fingers brushing against his in a way that sent a jolt through both their systems. The sweet scent of the lilies filled the space between them, mingling with the faint scent of her perfume. "Jack, they're beautiful," she murmured, her voice thick with unshed tears.

“I have something else, c’mon.”

Jack's voice was gentle, a stark contrast to the tumultuous emotions crashing through his mind. He stepped aside, allowing Y/n to enter the hallway to head towards the living room where the pizza waited. She followed him with a tentative step, the bouquet clutched to her chest like a lifeline.

When they reached the couch, Jack turned to face her, his eyes searching hers for any hint of what she might be feeling. "Look, Y/n, I know something's been bothering you, but I don’t want to push. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. But I want you to know that I'm here for you." He took a deep breath and held out his hand to her. "Will you come with me?"

“Our pizza and my favorite flowers? Did you cause a scandal in this fake relationship.” She feigned faked shock, knowing well he didnt. At least she hoped that he hadn’t.

Jack couldn't help but smile at her attempt to lighten the mood, but he knew this was another attempt to deflect attention. He nodded his head no "I just wanted to do something nice for you."

Y/n's eyes searched his, looking for a deeper meaning behind the flowers and pizza. She sighed, her shoulders dropping slightly. "Jack, I know you're worried, but I just don't know if I can talk about it yet."

Jack dropped his head. “I truly wanted to do something nice. But i will admit i had a few motives.”

“I’m afraid that telling you will change things for worse.

Jack looked at her, his eyes filled with concern. "Y/n, I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. You can tell me anything."

Y/n looked down at the bouquet in her hands, the petals brushing against her skin as if whispering secrets she was too afraid to speak aloud. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Jack, I know you're trying to help, but it's just..." She paused, her voice cracking slightly.

Jack stepped closer, his hand reaching out to comfort her. "It's okay, Y/n. Take your time."

Y/n looked up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She took a deep breath and spoke in a hushed tone. "I've been trying to ignore it, but I can't. Have you ever wanted something so terribly bad, but you’re no good for it/them. Or do they see you differently?"

Jack's heart clenched at the pain in her voice. He went to grab her hand and she pulled away. His heart plummeted “Y/n.”

“Jack. Let me say it this way. Have you ever wanted someone so badly it physically hurt?” Y/n held Jack’s gaze silently pleading he did understand.

Jack cleared his throat before he tried to speak again. “And if I said yes, would you even believe in me?”

[aphroditelovesu]

⸻ The Lost Queen - XXII ⸻

— summary: You woke up near a military camp without remembering how and why you got there, you didn’t understand why they were dressed like ancient Greeks, all you knew was that you weren’t safe and you needed to get out of that place as soon as possible. Too bad for you that you found yourself attracting unwanted attention from the Macedonian King and he won’t let you go so easily. — genre: yandere, dark!au. — warnings: time travel, obsessive and possessive behavior, murder, mention of torture, kidnapping, angst, fluffy (very rarely), dub-con, eventual smut, pregnancy. — word count: 3,883. — tag list: @devils-blackrose, @faerykingdom, @hadesnewpersephone, @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 , @kadu-5607, @zoleea-exultant, @borntoexplore11-blog, @elvinapandra, @jennifer0305 , @his0kaswife, @animetye-23, @leathesimp, @dostoevsskij, @meheheasasa, @jsprien213, @lammys-thinking, @cheriecelestial. —the lost queen series masterlist. — ko-f

Chapter 22

"Miss (Y/N) (L/N)?" A firm, gentle voice called, interrupting the comfortable silence as you fumbled with your phone. You looked up to see a doctor in a white coat standing in the doorway, holding a clipboard and looking directly at you.

Beside you, May stood up almost immediately, extending her hand towards you in a silent gesture of support. Without thinking much, you returned the phone to her bag and accepted her hand. As you stood up, your other hand moved automatically until it rested on the lower part of your belly — a gesture that had become unconscious in the last few days.

Ever since you found out you were pregnant — and everything that came with it — May had been insisting that you needed to have an ultrasound as soon as possible. You hadn't had one until then, obviously since the technology hadn't been available to you in the last few months, and as soon as she told you to do it, you just agreed, since the thought was already in your head.

"It's me." You answered the doctor with a polite smile, your voice sounding firm despite the nervousness you didn’t want to show.

With May's help, you stood up and, still holding hands, you both walked into the examination room. You didn’t need physical help, of course — you could still walk and do most things on your own — but it wasn't about need. It was about presence. It was about May, still haunted by past events, needing constant touch to believe that you were there, alive, and that you wouldn't leave her again.

The ultrasound room was different from the "clinics" you had known in Persia. Colder in appearance, perhaps more impersonal in terms of decor. There were only the essentials: the gurney, the monitor, a few cabinets. Nothing fancy. But, oddly enough, it still felt more welcoming. Maybe it was the familiarity, or the fact that you trusted modern medicine more fully than traditional medicine there — a preference that had remained intact even with everything that had happened in the last few months.

Following the doctor's instructions, you sat down on the stretcher with slow movements. May stayed by your side, her fingers still intertwined with yours, as if refusing to let go. Having your best friend back by your side at that moment made everything less scary.

You carefully lifted your shirt, exposing your already prominent belly — round and firm, carrying the babies growing inside, protected and loved. It was strange to think about everything that had happened until you got there, but for a moment, in that cold room, surrounded by the low sound of the monitor and the warm touch of May's hand, everything seemed right.

The cold gel came into contact with your skin like a gentle shock, making gasp a litte. The doctor held the transducer firmly and gently as she slowly slid it over your belly, spreading the clear gel. You felt the light but continuous pressure, following the circular movements with your gaze fixed on the ceiling for a moment, trying to control the anxiety that was starting to rise in your throat.

May squeezed your hand tighter, her eyes intently on the screen. The silence stretched on for a moment that seemed eternal. Only the sound of the device and your own breathing filled the room until, suddenly, the most comforting sound you had ever heard broke the silence: the rhythmic and strong heartbeat of a baby.

And then another.

"There are two hearts here," The doctor said with a small, professional smile, her eyes still fixed on the screen. "They're twins."

You weren't surprised. You already knew because of that doctor, but even so, hearing the confirmation made your chest warm.

May looked at you with her blue eyes shining, a big, genuine smile on her lips, as if she was seeing a miracle happen right in front of her. And, well, in a way it was.

"Would you like to know the sex?" The doctor asked, looking at you again gently, as if she understood that this was an intimate choice.

You hesitated for just a second. So much had happened. So many revelations, so many changes, so many scars — both visible and invisible. In comparison, knowing the sex of the babies seemed like a small breeze in the middle of a storm that had already been lived. But still, it was a detail. A piece of the future that you could touch now, that you could control.

You nodded, your eyes returning to the screen and your heart calming a little.

"Yes... I want to know."

"They're a boy and a girl. Congratulations." The doctor said with a gentle smile, her eyes softening as she observed your reaction.

For a moment, everything around you seemed to go silent. You blinked a few times, as if trying to absorb those words — a boy and a girl. Twins. Your children.

Your chest tightened, not with fear, but with something that was close to tenderness. You didn't know if it was relief, love, or the shock of hearing out loud something that seemed so far from your reality until a few days ago. But now... There, in that office, with May's hand squeezing yours and the sound of the two hearts still echoing softly in the background, everything seemed real.

You smiled. Not just any smile, but one of those sincere ones that come with a light heart. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to feel a kind of simple — and strangely complete — happiness. You didn't know what the future would hold, or if you would be ready for everything that would come... But at that moment, you were the mother of a boy and a girl.

Yours and... Alexander the Great's… Or the big crazy guy's, that is.

"Do you want pictures of the ultrasound?" The doctor asked, looking at you kindly.

You didn't hesitate for a second. You nodded immediately, the smile still lighting up your face as if it were impossible to erase it at that moment.

"Yes, I would like them, please." You answered politely, your voice soft but filled with a quiet joy that seemed to overflow.

The doctor smiled back and began to prepare the prints. In the meantime, you grabbed some tissues that were next to the table and carefully cleaned the cold gel that still covered your belly.

Once you were done, you pulled your t-shirt back down, carefully adjusting it over your already prominent belly. May remained by your side, her eyes still a little disbelieving and her expression filled with a happiness that seemed to be a reflection of yours.

The doctor soon returned and handed you the photos — small pieces of paper that now held black and white images of your children. You held the prints with an almost sacred delicacy, as if they were precious treasures. And, in a way, they were.

Whether you liked it or not, you became attached to this pregnancy and the babies. It wasn't planned or desired, but now, it was what mattered most to you and what you would focus on. There was a lot to be done, people to talk to and see again, history had changed, but for now, you just wanted to enjoy this small moment of happiness.

Even though the father of your children was a Macedonian conqueror who has been dead for over two thousand years.

Mere details.

After briefly explaining some future procedures, the importance of prenatal care and scheduling your next appointments, the doctor finally released you.

You thanked her, gathering your things with slow movements, tiredness starting to weigh on you. You couldn't wait to be home again.

The walk to the exit was uncomfortable. Everything seemed much louder than you remembered. The sound of cars whizzing by outside, the loud conversations echoing in the hallways, even the occasional clink of medical instruments... Every little noise seemed ten times louder than before.

Before, none of this bothered you. You were used to chaos — the noise of bustling cities, of the Macedonian war camp. But now, after months of living in the controlled and relatively quiet environments of the Persian palace, your hearing seemed more acute, sensitive to every crackle and murmur, as if your mind were rejecting all excess stimuli.

Every sound seemed to throb in your head, making everything tiring and painful.

You just wanted to lie down. You just wanted the cozy silence of your bed, where you could close your eyes and, for a moment, forget about the world outside. Where you could embrace the peace that now seemed more precious than ever.

May, noticing your discomfort without you having to say a word, just squeezed your hand again and hurried her pace beside you, like a protective shadow.

You smiled slightly, grateful. You would be home soon.

You would be at peace soon. Or so you thought.

When you opened the door to your apartment, all you wanted was silence, maybe a cup of tea, and the opportunity to throw yourself on the bed with the ultrasound photos still in your hands. What you didn't expect was... That.

There was no music playing. There was no food scattered around, no loud laughter or drunken voices celebrating something. But, still, it felt like a party. One of those that brings a weight on your chest, a presence that can't be explained. Maybe another funeral.

Your family was there.

Your mother. Your father. Your older brother. All of them stood in the small living room of your apartment, as if time had frozen along with the air you had suddenly sucked in. None of them said a word when they saw you. They just stared at you. As if they were trying to figure out if you were real. As if you were... A ghost.

And honestly, it would be easier to explain if you were one.

You still hadn't worked up the courage to look for them. It had been almost three days since you'd been back — three days of living in the modern world again, three days of adjusting to the sound, the light, the rhythm that had once been second nature — and you still hadn't texted them, made a phone call, or shown up at their door.

You knew it was cowardice. You knew it was cruel to let them suffer more than they already had. But how would you explain? How would you put into words what even your mind couldn't organize?

May was different. May had been a part of you since childhood. You trusted her with your eyes closed. She didn't need proof, she just believed — because she always had been a believer. But your parents? Your brother? You loved them, yes, but it wasn't the same intimacy. You had never been as close as you were to May. Maybe you were to your brother, but even so, it wasn't the same.

And now, they were there. Still. Motionless. Your mother's eyes filled with tears. Your father pressed his lips together as if he were holding back tears. And your brother, so strangely quiet, with his eyes wide open as if he were still trying to decide if this was a dream or a delirium.

You felt your heart beat faster. The ultrasound pictures were still in your hands, crumpling a little in your palm. You could hide everything — except that.

How would you tell them that you disappeared for months because you were magically transported back in time for the sick pleasure of a creature you didn't even know what it was? Back to over two thousand years ago? How would you explain that a Macedonian conqueror became obsessed with you, got you pregnant, and now you were back, with two children growing in your womb?

Yeah. Maybe it would be easier to say that you died. That you're a ghost.

But you weren't. You were there. Flesh, bone, and fear.

And now you would have to find words. Because your family finally knew you were alive.

And they waited for answers.

"Mom... Dad..." Your voice came out low, shaky, almost a whisper. But to them, it was like a scream in the middle of the silence — the confirmation that you were there, alive, real.

That was all they needed.

In less than a second, your parents were in motion, as if gravity had been broken. Your mother arrived first, her arms around your neck in a desperate, tight hug, as if she feared you might disappear again if she let go. Your father followed soon after, enveloping you both in a bigger hug, and you felt small, protected, and as fragile as you hadn't felt in years.

Like a child again.

The tears came without permission. You didn't know if they were yours or theirs, or everyone's — you just knew they were there, flowing, warm, silent.

Your brother stood still for a moment. His eyes looked surprised, almost incredulous, as if he didn't really believe it until he heard your voice, until he saw you so close. But soon his steps came closer and he joined in the hug, his arms wrapping around your sides, with restrained strength, as if he didn't want to break you.

You clung to them. Your fingers tightened on your mother's clothes, your father's hand, your brother's jacket. Because at that moment, no matter how much of a mess everything was inside you — no matter how much secrets, fear and the past weighed on you — that was your home. Your true home.

Right?

May, silent, stood close behind. Watching. Not trying to get closer. She knew. She knew that this moment wasn't hers. It was yours. Yours only.

And as hard as it was, for the first time since you came back, you felt like maybe... Maybe you could handle all of this.

Your parents finally let go of you, albeit reluctantly, but they remained so close that you could feel their warmth. Their heavy, worried eyes fixed on you, waiting for an answer — one that you knew you couldn’t really give.

"What happened? Where have you been? Why did you disappear for months? We thought you were dead!" Your mother's voice cut through the air, firm and shaky at the same time, filled with a mixture of fear, anger and relief.

You took half a step back without realizing it, the feeling of being small, of having done something terribly wrong, tightening your chest. The old childish feeling of wanting to justify everything, of wanting to apologize, but not even knowing how.

Your father, beside her, crossed his arms, his expression hard, as if trying to protect himself from the pain that still throbbed inside him.

"I..." Your voice came out weak, hesitant. You swallowed hard, trying to find something to say, something that was halfway between the truth and a lie that wouldn't hurt so much. "Yeah, well, it's complicated..."

Your brother frowned, confused. May, behind you, just crossed her arms and gave you a look of silent encouragement — she was with you, no matter what.

"Complicated?" Your mother repeated, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You disappear for almost half a year and all you can say is that it's complicated?"

"I know... I know it sounds bad." You raised your hands in defense, feeling your heart beat wildly. "But it's not something that's easy to explain."

Silence. A heavy, thick silence.

You took a deep breath, choosing your words carefully.

"I went through... Something I couldn't control. It wasn't because I wanted to disappear, it wasn't because I wanted to hurt you. It was something that happened. And it took me a long time to come back."

"You were kidnapped, weren't you?" Your father asked tensely.

"No." You answered too quickly. If they thought that, it would be even worse. Although it wasn't far from the real story. You were kidnapped but not in the original sense. "No... Not exactly."

"Then what?" Your brother insisted, his voice low, almost hurt.

You looked at them, at the faces you loved so much, and felt your throat close up. How could you talk about what you had lived, about everything you had been through, about how much you had changed, without sounding crazy?

"I... I can't explain everything." You said finally, feeling the guilt throb under your skin. "But I'm okay now. I'm safe. And I swear I never wanted to hurt you."

Your mother covered her mouth with her hand, as if holding back tears. Your father looked away, his eyes shining brighter than he probably wanted to admit. And your brother just nodded slowly, saying nothing.

May finally came closer and placed a firm hand on your shoulder.

"She's back. And that’s what matters now." She spoke in a calm voice, trying to reassure you.

And for a moment, your parents seemed to waver. The hurt was still there, but the love — the love was greater.

But then... Your mother's ever-watchful eyes swept your body up and down. You flinched involuntarily, knowing exactly what she would see. The loose black t-shirt, emblazoned with the faded logo of your favorite band, hid most of it... But not all. The tight leggings didn't help much.

For a second, there was only the sound of your own heart hammering in your ears.

Then your mother let out a sigh — no, a loud wail, as if the ground had just opened up beneath her feet.

"Are... Are you pregnant?!" The question exploded into the air, heavy, suffocating.

You felt all the blood drain from your face. Your gaze reflexively sought out May, but she remained firm at your side, like a silent anchor.

"Yes." You answered, your voice low, barely audible.

Your mother brought her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide, while your father paled. Your brother only blinked, as if his brain was trying to process the information and failing miserably.

"Oh my God..." Your mother mumbled, her hands still covering her mouth.

You wanted to explain. You wanted to scream that it wasn't something planned, that it wasn't something normal, that it had basically been forced upon you, that none of it was normal. But how could you explain the inexplicable? How could you tell the truth without dragging them all into a world they could never understand?

"How many months are you?" Your father asked, his voice deep, trying to regain his calm.

"Almost five." You answered, and felt the impact of those words hit them like a punch.

Five months. Five months that matched the date of your disappearance.

May, realizing that the atmosphere was about to explode, placed a light hand on your back, anchoring you in the present.

"It was... It was hard." You continued, your voice shaking. "But I'm okay now. The babies are okay."

"Babies?!" Your mother almost screamed, her voice cracking. "Is... Is it more than one?!"

You nodded slowly, feeling your eyes sting with tears you refused to shed.

The silence fell again, so thick it felt like someone could cut it with a knife.

"Who's the father?"

The question came from your brother, finally breaking the suffocating silence. His voice was low, restrained, but the weight behind it was impossible to ignore. He was staring at you, and his eyes — so similar to yours — didn't leave your face for even a second. It was like he was trying to decipher you, to understand everything at once.

You swallowed hard.

Fuck.

Your entire body tensed, and the feeling of being cornered ran up your spine like an electric current. It was the last question you wanted to hear. The one you feared the most.

"I don't want to talk about it." Your voice came out drier than you expected. Harsh, cutting. The gazes of the three in front of you wavered for a second at your harshness. You took a deep breath, forcing your tone to remain firm.

"The father... He's no good. He's an asshole. And I don't want him to know about the pregnancy, much less try to get close to me or my children."

You saw the immediate impact of those words. Your mother's eyes widened, your father's became even more serious, and your brother's frowned, as if something wasn't adding up.

It was all a lie — or almost. Alexander could be an asshole, yes. But he probably had no idea you were pregnant. And you were still trying to get used to this new reality: that he might never see his children. That you were alone.

And you didn't need any more questions. Not now. The last thing you wanted was your family interrogating you about Alexander, not when you didn't know everything yet. You needed to find answers about Aslan, but how?

Your brother frowned, clearly suspicious, but to your surprise, he didn't press the issue. Perhaps he could tell from your dry tone and the stiffness of your body that pressing now would be like stepping into a minefield.

Your mother, however, looked devastated. Her eyes welled up as she brought a trembling hand to her forehead, as if the simple movement could help her sort out her jumble of thoughts.

"But... Are you going to raise them alone?" The question escaped your mother's lips in a hoarse whisper, almost begging for an answer that would calm her down.

You let out a dry, bitter laugh that echoed in the small space. There was no humor in it, only tiredness.

"Yes." You answered, crossing your arms over your belly instinctively, as if you could protect your babies from the weight of that moment. "May said she'll help me with everything."

Your gaze met your best friend's, who immediately responded with a confident smile, full of silent strength.

"She's not alone," May said firmly, as if she were making a solemn oath. "And I'm preparing to be the best aunt in the world."

The assurance in her voice made something inside you quiet — a small island of peace in the midst of the storm.

Your parents looked like they were about to protest, but something — maybe the new determination they saw in your eyes — made them back down. You were no longer the daughter they remembered. Something in you had changed irrevocably, and even without knowing what, they felt it.

"You don't need to worry," You said, trying to control the emotion that threatened to overflow. Your voice was quiet but firm. "I'm fine. Really."

Your father took a hesitant step forward, as if he didn't know whether to hug you or respect your space. Finally, he stopped a few inches away, took a deep breath, and said with all the strength he could muster:

"We are your family." His voice was deep and sincere. "You will never be alone."

Those simple, pure words pierced your armor. A lump tightened in your throat, choking off any response you might have given. Tears stung your eyes, but you blinked them away several times, refusing to let them fall.

Not yet. You wouldn't let yourself cry. Not when there was still so much to be done, so much to be discovered. But for now, you would enjoy this moment with your family, with the people you loved but hadn’t seen in months.

The world be damned for now.

— lady l: hiiii! 🥰🥰 sorry for the delay in updating this fanfic and for the brief silence but things are complicated at home and I only managed now, which is four in the morning where I live, to be able to finish and post :((((

After my mom had surgery it's been even harder in every sense of the word (I'm not kidding, unfortunately) so writing has kind of become a luxury... ☹️

Anyway, I hope you liked it and like the previous one, this chapter was more focused on Reader for reasons of the story making sense but don't worry, Alexander will appear in the next chapters and, spoiler, he's not doing well at all.

I'll see you all soon! :)❤️

[annemjw]

It’s a bit of a running joke with my team at work, but any time we have to do icebreaker stuff or meet new folk, my fun fact is that I got to work with The Muppets, and it is the absolute highlight of my career.

A few years ago the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra and Bret McKenzie hosted the Jim Henson Retrospectacle, featuring the Muppets, Fraggles, Sesame Street, and music from The Dark Crystal. My choir, Supertonic, was asked to be the choir supporting this, over the three-show engagement.

When I found out we’d been asked and could I get time off from work to do it, I basically RAN to my boss, I said I’d come in early, work late, take time off without pay, whatever she needed so I could do the rehearsals and performances. She told me to take just normal time off and that of course it was fine 😅

It’s truly one of the best things I’ve ever been able to do, and I’m been singing semi-professionally for about 20 years now.

We were told early on about how there were strict rules about the characters from the different properties not being allowed to be on stage at the same time, that there were strict rules about not touching anything, not improvising, sticking to what the producers needed to have happen.

It didn’t all go out the window (we were all very respectful of the touching! And the entries and exits kept the legal issues sorted for the copyrights or whatever) but everyone was having far too much fun for it to stay serious.

The first violinist who had the solo for The Count’s number had of course played far more difficult music, but the second they decided that they needed to have the batties come out and fly around him while he played his face lit up

The performers were absolutely lovely all the time, and had so much love and respect for what they were doing and the fact that we were all there together

We had foldback speakers as we were up and behind from the main stage (so that meant we could hear the music and the cues from the performers), and at one point one of the Henson people had a hot mic and was backstage - all of us were I think a bit worried that a façade would drop but he was just back there saying hi to people and having nice conversations

We had three sopranos who have incredible, clear, bell-like tones at a high pitch and who had a solo for the Dark Crystal part of the set. The look on everyone’s faces the first time we ran that and they sang - our country’s national orchestra and people who had worked all over the world with incredible performers - whipping around to hear that because it was so beautiful

The did a bit with Man or Muppet where they had had a Bret Muppet made, so you had Bret, Walter the Muppet, and a Bret Muppet - but they needed a Walter human, so they asked our Director of Music to do it, and act and sing with them on the fly (he’s an incredible bass singer, and absolutely nailed the acting, our friends who came to see us lost their minds)

Every performance started with Rainbow Connection, and the lights would fall on Kermit and Bret and the banjo would start and the crowd would collectively gasp and go ‘aww’, and then crack-up laughing that they’d all done it. All three performances!

There was a person working at the venue who was a woman probably in her early 20s, who was running around doing stage stuff and generally just her job - and they literally needed an extra hand for some puppetting (including the batties!) so she got to just. Perform as a puppeteer with The Muppets for a few days

One performance, there was an older gentleman near the front with I think his grandkids, and I happened to look at him just before Big Bird entered for the first time, and his face just transformed to that of a five-year-old’s and I saw him mouth ‘oh, Big Bird!’ at her, which makes me cry even now

Animal (he’s my favourite) got to play in the Timpani section (the percussion but of the orchestra), with a gong, and all the percussionists treated him like a respected colleague and hero - for all I know he was probably an inspiration for them - and we were right above them so they got us to do a bit about the gong being sooooo loud, it was a joy

It was the best thing I’ve ever done, I think. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. They’re a delight and actual magic.

[for some reason my copy edits didn’t save so uh, fixed now, whoops!]

Reblog if, no matter the size of the role, you would agree to work with the Muppets if offered the chance to do so, no questions asked

[tarotwithavi]

You from the eyes of your lover

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Masterlist 🌷 extended masterlist

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 💞🫶🏻

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

When I look at you, it feels like the world slows down just a little. You are the place where my restless heart finds its rhythm. With you, it’s not just love, it’s recognition like my soul has been looking for you in every lifetime and finally, finally found you.

There’s a fire in you that keeps me awake at night, a spark that makes me want to dream bigger, run faster, live louder. You move through life like a storm wrapped in sunlight, fierce, beautiful, unforgettable. You make me believe that maybe, just maybe, love is supposed to feel like this. Wild and free and terrifying in the best way.

You make me want to build a life, not just a moment. To hold traditions close, to create a world with you where things are sacred and real. You’re not just someone I love you’re someone I trust without even trying. Someone who feels like something ancient and holy written into my bones.

I see the way you guard your heart sometimes. I see the walls you’ve built, and I see the strength it took to still leave the door open. And I swear to you, every time I see that quiet bravery in your eyes, I fall in love with you all over again.

With you, love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a journey I want to be on every single day. Through storms, through silences, through dreams I haven't even dared to speak yet.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

You are the warmth that fills the empty spaces inside me. You are laughter echoing through lonely rooms, sunlight spilling over broken places I thought would never heal. With you, love feels real, not something imagined or wished for, but something I can hold, something I can build a forever with.

When I look at you, it feels like watching a heart in motion, choosing between fear and hope with every breath. You carry such a soft strength, the kind that does not scream for attention but moves mountains quietly. You are the pause before the promise, the calm before the celebration. Being near you feels like arriving somewhere I have been searching for my whole life.

I know you have seen the kind of endings that leave marks on a soul. I know there are mornings when you still carry the weight of yesterday in your chest. But to me, even your scars are sacred. Even your sadness is beautiful. You are not what happened to you. You are what rose after it.

Sometimes I see you lost in thought, drifting away from the moment, wondering if you are enough, if happiness is something meant for you. I wish I could press my hands against your doubts and kiss them away. I wish you could see yourself the way I do, not just beautiful, but unforgettable.

With you, love feels like building something real with hands full of dreams and a heart full of courage. You are my foundation and my flight. You are my reason to believe that love can be both soft and strong at once.

You are not standing still, my love. You are moving toward everything you ever deserved. And I will be right here, choosing you over and over, with every step, with every breath, with every piece of who I am

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

When I look at you, it feels like every forgotten piece of me wakes up. You are laughter wrapped in sunlight, a melody sweeter than anything I could have ever asked for. Being near you feels like breathing in a life I had only dreamed of from a distance.

You are my warmth, my safe place, my wild joy. You are the reason the world feels beautiful again. Your smile could tear down walls I built around my heart without even trying. You carry a kind of happiness that feels like magic, the kind that stays, the kind that heals without asking for anything in return.

I see your strength, the way you carry your battles inside you and still choose to shine. There is a power in you that humbles me, a softness that makes me believe in forever. You are made of the kind of courage that bends but never breaks, the kind of love that holds and forgives and chooses again, even on the hard days.

There is something about you I cannot escape. Something that pulls at me like gravity, like a song that only my heart can hear. You are fire and freedom, temptation and tenderness. Every time I touch you, it feels like being set alight and saved all at once.

You awaken every dream in me. Every hunger. Every hope I thought I had buried. With you, love feels like creation itself, raw and wild and sacred. You are the spark behind every risk I am willing to take, every future I dare to imagine.

And still, beyond all the wildness, there is a quiet in you that I worship just as much. A soul that needs space and silence, a spirit that goes deep where the world cannot follow. I would wait a lifetime just to sit beside you in your silence, to be the hand you reach for when you come back into the light.

You are not just my love. You are the universe written in skin and soul. You are the reason I believe that some loves are written long before we are even born

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[lazysoulwriter]

standing tall. - pedro pascal.

requested! thank you for sending. tall girls supremacy!!!!! (not a tall girl, just find them hot)

---

It started with one photo. Just one.

You and Pedro Pascal at an afterparty — him in a perfectly tailored suit, you towering over him in stilettos and a silk gown, laughing at something he whispered against your ear.

The internet lost its mind. “Tall girl supremacy!!” “Pedro with his goddess? I’m crying??” “He’s so real for this.”

And honestly? You loved every second of it.

You met Pedro on set — a supporting role in his new prestige series. From the very first table read, he made you feel seen. Literally seen.

While most people awkwardly commented on your height or made jokes, Pedro had simply looked up at you, grinned wide, and said, "Finally, someone who doesn’t make me feel like a giant."

It was easy after that. Late-night conversations on set. Inside jokes. Flirty glances over coffee cups. You tried to ignore the way your heart skipped when he laughed. Tried to pretend you didn’t notice the way he always found a reason to stand just a little closer to you.

Of course, Pedro made the first move. (Because you're gorgeous, and he’s not stupid.)

-

Dating Pedro was a whirlwind of soft affection and quiet understanding.

He loved how you wore heels without hesitation. He loved how you never apologized for taking up space — in a room, in a conversation, in his life.

"You’re statuesque, hermosa," he told you one night, tracing the line of your jaw with reverent fingers. "Like you were carved out of marble just to drive me crazy."

The only thing he didn’t love? Seeing you hesitate when the cameras were around.

Because no matter how confident you were, there was always that tiny voice in your head: Too tall. Too loud. Too much.

Pedro saw it. And he wasn’t having it.

The night of the afterparty, it all came to a head.

You hesitated before stepping onto the red carpet with him, shifting on your towering heels. Pedro caught your hand immediately, pulling you back into his chest.

"Hey," he said, voice low and sure. "You’re not dimming yourself for anyone tonight. You hear me?"

You smiled nervously. "I’m like... two inches taller than you right now."

Pedro chuckled, squeezing your hand. "And you look like a fucking queen. If anything, I should be wearing taller shoes to keep up with you."

You laughed, the tension breaking. He pressed a kiss to your temple, completely ignoring the flashing cameras.

"Let them talk," he murmured. "I’ve got the most beautiful woman in the room on my arm. I'm winning."

And just like that, you stood a little taller.

The next morning, you woke up to thousands of tweets, edits, and fan posts celebrating you both.

Pedro had even reposted one — a photoset of the two of you looking every bit like Hollywood royalty — with the caption: "Love when she looks at me like I hung the moon 🖤"

Cue the internet absolutely combusting.

Later that week, curled up on his couch in sweats and no makeup, you teased him, "You're really not bothered that I’m taller than you sometimes?"

Pedro set down his coffee, turning to you with that fond, devastating smile. "Sweetheart," he said, "I’m old enough to know when I'm blessed. You could be six feet tall or sixty feet tall — I'd still look at you like you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

You hid your burning face in his chest, laughing. He wrapped his arms around you tighter.

"Besides," he added with a wink, "I like having to look up at you. Keeps me humble."

You giggled, feeling weightless in a way you hadn't in a long time. And as he kissed the top of your head, murmuring sweet nothings into your hair, you realized —

Yeah. This was the real win. Not just for the tall girls. But for you. For the love you had found when you finally stopped shrinking yourself.

----

[sunny-knight]

IT IS NOW LATER.

MUCH LATER THAN I INTENDED-

BUT IT IS LATER.

hoh my FUCKING GODD

first of all amazing, phenomenal, perfect art, as always, im in l o v e with the colors especially they are to DIE FOR. I consumed all of them, they are all gone, I left no left overs, they are mine :3

…now I can have dessert because the dinner (the colors) are gone HA, ZING!!!!!!!!!!

Ok but seriously theres so much I have to decompile in this, BECAUSE HELLO??? ASGORE???? MY BABY MAN, HE FINALLY SHOWS HIS FACE!!! Hes so pretty in your style, im gonna give him so much trauma ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Im gonna try to not make too many assumptions on the story based off of the lyrics alone, since yknow you cant change that- BUT I AM GONNA MAKE WILD ACCUSATIONS!!!!!

First of all, “ive tasted friendship” Sans and Alphys, ofc, actual CONNECTIONS , people, HEALTHY THINGS! Theyre not really Wingdings’ thing tho…he has richer taste ig…

“ive tasted YOU” in reference to the SAVE POINT. Which I assume….wait…hold on.

…

GASTER FACES THE CAMERA WHEN HE SAYS THAT, HES TASTED YOU, HES TASTED THE PLAYER, HES TASTED US

…well played…

ALSO GASTER IS JUST LIKE WAY TOO HAPPY ABOUT “TASTING DEATH” LIKE GIRL 😭 I have a feeling this is confirming Gaster doesnt regret what he diiid…? Ofc we’ll only KNOW that when the comics come out n all that BUT LIKE HE SEEMS TO ENJOY THIS WAY TOO MUCH, LOOK AT THIS GUY.

He’s like “oh my god this is the best thing that has ever happened to me” WHAT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, WINGDINGS. WHAT ABOUT S A N S- i need to calm down.

we cut to Alphys and Sans experiencing the horrors…looove thatt…always lovd that

THEN OBLIGATORY FLOWEY REFERENCE WITH THE “UH OH” BIT- BITCH WHEN I- WH- WHEN I- BTSBHF- 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

then THIS MOMENT IM OBSESSED WITH BECAUSE PAPYRUS HONEY BABY NO 😭 He is NOT too thrilled about this which I mean we already knew, BUT IT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE THAT GASTER IS SOOOOO HAPPY LIKE HOW FUCKING DARE YOU

LASTLY LASTLY THE FUCKIG- THE GASTER FOLLOWERS HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE GASTER FOLLOWER MENTION 🫵🫵🫵🫵🎉🎉🎉🎉💥🎉🎉🫵🎉🫵💥🎉🎉🫵🎉

the part of the song that has them is so perfect like yes…..make the inhuman noises,,,,yeeeesss…….

AND THEN AND THEN FINAL LAST FINAL THING, UNTRANSLATED WINGDINGS!!!!!!!! LETS GO GAMERS, LETS TRANSLATE…

…

why is he writing in all caps

Sunsestart

SUNSESTART- WHY IS HE WRITING IN ALL CAPS?????

But that's dessert!

I FINALLY FINISHED THIS THING LET'S GOOO

I hope u all like it

[wlwsoccerfics]

Emergency Contact (AlessiaRussoXReader)

Warnings: epilepsy and seizure mentioned, Reader gets punched.

Summary: you are out with a friend and end up in the hospital. Alessia who was out with some Girls from the team gets called cause she is your emergency contact & your fiancee.

It was your day off from football practice so you spend the day with your fiancee. You had a night out with your best friend who was visiting from New York, she has moved there to be closer to her parents who have been living there for almost 10 years now.

Alessia went out with Kyra, Lotte, Steph, Lia, Leah & Kim to a Karaoke bar. While you and your best friend Lola went to a Pub. Having some Beers. Playing Darts. Enjoying eachothers company. That unfortunately was cut short when a drunk Dude started pushing you.

"Arsenal sucks!" He stated and pushed you again. You took some steps back.

"Dude you are drunk, Go Home! If you don't like Arsenal that's fine but please leave me alone." You told him, ready to turn around when he punched you against your head and you fell to the floor straight away. This caused a seiuzre.

"someone call an ambulance!" Lola yelled out. The guy quickly left the Pub.

A few minutes later you were already on your way to the hospital. You were slowly on your way of waking up again. Not sure of what had just happened. You were slipping in and out of being concious. You had epilepsy. Being diagnosed as a kid when you were just 6 years old. Since then you did have quite the few seizures.

"hey, you gonna be okay." You heard Lola say. You didn't say anything and just tried to smile cause you were too tired.

Before Lola had the Chance to call your fiancee a Video showed Up on social Media of you at the bar and getting punched. So Alessia ended up calling Lola. Your fiancee was your emergency contact anyways so she would have been informed as soon as you reached the hospital.

"how bad is it?" Alessia asked when she walked into the hospital room. Looking at you and then at Lola. You were out like a light. Drifting in and out of being concious. Thanks to the concussion you had and cause of the seizure. So the nurses had to wake you up every now and then.

"her nose is broken. So she has to play with a mask the next time she is on the field. Which will take a bit. She Had a seiuzre and has a concussion." Lola explained.

"i can't believe this happened?! Y/n is the nicest Person i know. This isn't fair!" Alessia replied with a sob escaping her lips. "Does Caitlin know?" Your girlfriend wanted to know.

"No. Want me to tell her or will you?" Lola asked. "And i don't know why it happened to her of all people. cause you are right. She is indeed the sweetest Person ever!" Lola answered.

"it is okay. I will let her know." Your fiancee stated. Sniffling softly. Kissing your forehead. "my love. It will be okay." Alessia whispered out.

"i can call Caitlin. You just be there for y/n." Kyra offered, she was standing in the doorway.

"are you sure?" Alessia wanted to know.

"100%." Kyra answered.

"okay, thank you." Lessi said.

Kyra went back into the waiting area, where the entire others are waiting. She then called Caitlin.

"Kyra? What's up? Aren't you out with some of the Girls?" Your sister asked. Kyra took a deep breath.

"i was, Alessia got a call. y/n got hurt, she got punched at the Pub and had a seizure. We are at the hospital now!" Kyra explained.

"we will be there in a few! Katie! We have to leave now!" Kyra heard your sister say before the call ended.

You were woken up by a nurse again. Cause of your concussion. Not feeling good at all.

"Baby i am tired." You told Alessia.

"i know my love, but it's important to wake you up." She told you and kissed your head gently. The whole thing wasn't ideal cause the seizures also made you tried. Basically everything sucked right now.

It was like 20 minutes later when both Caitlin and Katie walked in. Your sister was by your side rather quickly.

"y/n, hey sis. So glad to see you awake." Caitlin said. Kissing your forehead carefully.

"so what's the Deal?" Katie wanted to know.

"well since she got punched so hard she had a seizure and a concussion she has to stay over night and after that she has to rest for a week at least. Maybe even more." Alessia explained.

"the Guy hates Arsenal so he let it out on me!" You stated and sighed softly.

"the police is gonna get involved. Right?" Catilin asked.

"someone filmed the entire thing. so yes it's all over the Internet." Alessia said and let out a soft sigh.

You were allowed to go home the next day. Alessia made sure you didn't do anything and just relaxed. Your sister came over with some of your favorite Australian Candy and the rest of the Team also checked in on you. And you talked to the Police. The Guy who hurt you was in big trouble. But you would be okay. Cause you had this amazing support system.

[lmvari]

⟳ 22. STALLED

When you finally step out of the building, the sky dimming into the soft lavender of early evening. The campus is quieter now, with scattered students loitering by the gates or heading toward the nearby street stalls. Your footsteps feel heavy as usual as you consider going straight home.

It’s been almost a week now, and still, you show no signs of feeling any better. It frustrates you. How everyone else seems fine and happy, while you’re still stuck.

A familiar voice snaps you out of your daze.

“[Name]!”

You turn to see Lumi waving at you from across the walkway, Ajax and Kaz beside her, all three of them standing by the parking area.

“Come eat with us,” she offers. “You look like you’re about to go home and crash out.”

“Shut up,” you say when you reach them, but Lumi just raises an eyebrow. “Where are Ven and Hu?”

“They’re all busy, it’s just us,” Lumi sighs.

You fix your gaze at the unfamiliar company. Ajax tagging along is normal. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve hung out with Lumi, only for her to bring Ajax along and turn you into the third wheel. But being with Kaz is a first. You know him. You’ve seen him around campus, even exchanged waves now and then, but you’ve never actually hung out with him like this before.

Kaz seems to notice your attention on him and gives a small smile. “I heard what happened. Hope you don’t mind me joining in. Come join us, it’ll be fun.”

You want to argue, but you don’t. Because maybe they’re right. Maybe putting yourself out there is a good way to start moving on.

The four of you end up at a small food place just outside campus, one of those spots students always flock to after long days. You squeeze into a booth, the table already cluttered with shared plates and paper cups filled with soda. Ajax and Lumi sit beside each other while you and Kaz sit on the opposite side.

Lumi pokes you with a fry across the table. “See? Better than sulking in your room.”

You roll your eyes. “I wasn’t planning to.”

Lumi laughs. “It’s alright to be sad about it, you know. Just not to the point that it messes with your everyday life. That’s why we’re here to help you.”

Ajax chuckles, leaning back in his seat. “You’ve gone quiet lately. It’s good to see you out.”

Kaz glances your way. “So you and Kuni are really done?”

You freeze for a second, then sigh.

Of course he’d be brought up.

“We were never anything more than friends, in the first place,” you confirm.

“Heard that,” Ajax says with a cough.

You roll your eyes and look at Lumi in deadpan. “I’m starting to hate your boyfriend.”

She just shakes her head with a laugh.

“You two had something. I don’t know why neither of you admit it.” Ajax shrugs. “Did you get to talk about it properly?”

Define properly.

Does telling him to end things outside a convenience store late at night, in the pouring rain, count?

“I guess,” you answer vaguely, stirring your drink. “I told him we should stop. He just agreed. Which was the most painful part.”

“Why?” Kaz asks, listening intently.

You set down your drink. “We haven’t been sexually active lately prior to that. I thought I meant more to him. He didn’t even try to fight. Not even for our friendship.”

“That might be for the best,” Lumi mutters.

You raise your brow at her.

She continues, “Could you handle being ‘just friends’ while he gets back with his ex?”

You stay quiet, unsure how to answer that.

Can you?

Handle seeing him with her? Handle watching him treat her the way you thought he’d treat you? Handle knowing the delusions you had in your head are real with her?

Handle imagining how he’d touch her the same way he touched you?

And the worst part is the thought that you probably weren’t even the first to be handled like that.

She was.

Nothing was ever yours to begin with. It was your fault for being too attached when you knew it was only ever physical with him.

The answer is no. You can’t.

Do you really have the right to be upset?

As if reading your thoughts, Kaz’s voice is calm when he speaks. “You’re allowed to be mad at him, you know.” Ajax quietly agrees with a nod.

You glance beside you in surprise. “Aren’t you two his friends?”

“Yeah,” Ajax says with a shrug, “but not always.”

Kaz doesn’t say anything for a moment, then rests his elbow on the table. “We had an argument, actually.”

You blink. “You and Kuni?”

He nods, like it’s not a big deal. “A small one.”

You hesitate. “Over what?”

Kaz gives a faint shrug. “Just didn’t agree with some stuff he was doing. That’s all.”

It’s not much, but something flickers in your chest. You don’t push. Not yet.

Then Ajax adds, almost absently, “I’m surprised he got back with Mona again that fast.”

Lumi furrows his brows. “So they’re really back together?”

Ajax pauses then shrugs. “Dunno, they might as well be.”

You shake your head slowly, trying to keep your face blank.

Lumi watches you carefully. You press your lips together. Your mood dims slightly after that.

The conversation shifts to other things while the group eats their dinner.

Eventually, Lumi checks her phone and winces. “Shit. Ajax and I have to go. Something urgent came up.”

She stands up, grabbing her bag, and pulls Ajax with her. She leans down to put a hand on your shoulder. “You gonna be okay?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

Ajax ruffles your hair on the way out. “It’ll get better, alright?”

You watch them leave, the restaurant door swinging shut behind them.

You expect Kaz to get up too, to follow after them and leave you alone but he doesn’t. Instead, he stays seated, like he’s in no rush to go anywhere.

“You need a ride?”

You glance at him. “You don’t have to.”

“I know,” he says casually. “I’m offering.”

The car is quiet at first, save for the hum of the engine and the occasional splash of water as Kaz drives through the slick streets.

You sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed loosely, staring out the window. Neither of you talk for a while. It’s not awkward, just… quiet.

Comfortable, almost.

Kaz finally breaks the silence. “You okay?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

He doesn’t look at you, but his voice stays steady. “You don’t have to say you’re okay if you’re not.”

You smile faintly at that, then shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just tired.”

Kaz simply nods and doesn’t speak, eyes focused on the road. After a long while, “You really love him, don’t you? Kuni.”

You look at him, slightly taken aback.

Love? Did your feelings really progress at that stage?

“I don’t. It was just a fleeting thing,” you deny.

“I doubt that,” he says. “I can see how much it weighs on you. A person who isn’t in love won’t grieve like you do.”

You don’t respond.

Kaz sighs through his nose. “I’m not gonna pretend I know everything that happened. But I do know something more was developing between you two, whether you admit it or not. It was obvious.”

“He had chances. But he didn’t take them,” he continues. “He’s my friend, but that doesn’t mean I’ll defend him when he does something stupid.“

Stupid?

“What exactly did you guys argue about?”

Kaz presses his lips and shakes his head. “It’s about something you shouldn’t be hearing from me.”

Huh.

“Okay,” you simply accept. You shift in your seat, watching the blur of headlights outside.

After a few beats of silence, you speak. “It’s not that simple to just move on. Even if he was just a fling.”

He was never just a fling.

“I know it’s not,” he agrees. “But you shouldn’t keep waiting for someone who can’t even promise you anything.”

“I’m not waiting for him. I already ended it.”

Kaz hums and shows a small amused smile “Whatever you say.”

“You don’t believe me?” You scoff.

“I think there’s still a big part of you that hopes he comes back and chooses you instead. That’s why you’re progressing as slow as you’re going now.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Didn’t know you were some kind of therapist.”

Kaz briefly looks at you, softly chuckling, then turns his attention back on the road. “Well, I’m right, aren’t I?”

You don’t answer right away. Your weak smile falters into a thin line.

Then, under your breath, you admit, “It’s hard to let go of someone when part of you still hopes they’ll stay.”

Kaz’s voice softens. “I know. But you can’t put your healing on pause while he figures his shit out.”

You blink hard, swallowing down the sting in your throat.

He adds, “You deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel like you have to wait to be chosen.”

Silence settles again, heavier this time.

He pulls up in front of your house a few minutes later.

Kaz puts the car in park and turns to you with a reassuring smile. “You’ll be okay.”

You nod slowly, fingers resting on the handle.

“Thanks for the ride,” you murmur.

He gives you a small smile. “Anytime.”

You were about to open the door but you hear him speak out again. “You have my number, right?”

“I do. Why?” You saved it long ago from Lumi but never used it.

“Message me? You can talk to me if you need someone.”

“I will.” You smile at him, slightly feeling at ease. “Thank you, Kaz.”

You open the door and step out, the cool air brushing against your skin. Kaz waits until you’re safely at the door before driving off.

As the door clicks shut and his headlights vanish around the corner, you realize you never knew Kaz could be this steady.

For the first time in days, some of the weight finally lifts off your chest.

⟳ BLURRED LINES — PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

You say you’re just friends. You say it every time you leave a party together, every time you wake up tangled in sheets, every time you swear it’s the last time. But habits form, lines blur, and pretending gets harder when jealousy starts to sting.

NOTE some of ya’ll are hating on mc for being counterproductive with moving on but i feel like u guys don’t get it.. even in a fwb setup, sex is inherently intimate and can build emotional bonds. on top of that, kuni has never clearly closed the door on “something more,” sending mc mixed signals, which naturally drags out her healing. mc still doesn’t have closure. she’s piecing together why he let mona back in, why he didn’t fight for her, without clear answers. it’s normal for her to linger in that in-between space. + it hasn’t been a month guys chill out 😭 it took me over one month to completely get over my one week talking stage that i was deeply attached to. anw this chapter is kind of poorly made since i’m still fighting my writer’s block sorry

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