#THIS IS SO BAD

[mocking-the-bird]

Dick is no bark no bite dog

Jason is all bark no bite dog

Tim is no bark all bite dog

Damian is all bark all bite dog

[remedyspoison]

I think I'm hilarious

[cry-ptidd]

Most pathetic man ever experiences one positive experience in bed

[worm-on-my-way]

that's how the circus gothica episode went right?

(original img under cut ^^)

[billericious]

collateral | b.e

The last time you had seen Billie was 6 months ago, the tone it had been left on was sour, an argument if she was as committed to the relationship as you were. Half of a year since then, and you were still looking for answers. Did she miss you as much as you missed her? No, you don’t miss her. You can’t miss her. But when you're alone in your bed on a cold winter night, you let your mind drift off to imagine her warmth surrounding you, holding you just as she used to. You miss her in the quiet moments of life.

You look over to your nightstand, the clock reading 3:26 AM. deciding sleep is a lost cause, you pick up your phone and scroll mindlessly, trying to distract yourself from the ache in your heart. As if the algorithm was laughing at you, an ad of billie promoting her upcoming project pops up. She talks and smiles, telling whoever would be watching how excited she is for everyone to hear her art. You search her eyes, a sign that she could even be remotely sad without you. Maybe it’s the fact that the video is prerecorded, or maybe she doesn’t feel your absence at all that makes you find nothing.

You can't stop your mind from going back to that fateful night.

“So what, you just want to end this?” she stands with you, toe to toe and tears glossing over her blue eyes. “Billie, you’re not even hearing me, just hearing what you want to hear!” tears fill your own eyes, blurring your vision. The argument escalated quickly, emotions that had been brewing in you for months finally spilling out at an alarming rate.

You continue, “I just feel used, okay? We’ve been going out for a year without even being together officially. I understand that you’re busy, that the situation isn’t as simple as it seems, but fuck billie. You’ve had time, and I've had enough.” the girl in front of you falls silent, her mouth slightly ajar as she tries to collect her thoughts. The tension only grows as she stays quiet. “So that’s it then? You have nothing to say?” Billie picks up her jaw and rolls her eyes.

“I want you, truly. It's just tha-” you cut her off with a sarcastic laugh, tears rolling down your cheeks. “There's always an excuse, bil! I’m just never enough for you, never enough to just be yours.” eye contact breaks as you look down to the floor, quiet sobs escaping your mouth. Billie is quick to step forward and pull you close. Too tired to fight back, you melt into her arms.

“I’m sorry, baby. I am.” she whispers into your hair, “i just…can’t” you look up at her, eyes red and puffy. “You can’t? Can’t do what you're doing right now?” you push her off of you, anger over taking once again. “Don’t make it sound like that, y/n. You know it’s more than that”

“A year billie! And for what? For you to just use me, use my love, my time, my body?” Billie's eyebrows scrunch at your words. “I would never use you, I love you, you know that.” she begins to defend herself. “Then what are you doing?” your ears feel warm and your stomach is churning. You already know where this is going, despite your best efforts.

You look at each other, a desperation in both of your eyes, a hunger.

“I don’t know.” she whispers.

“Leave, now.” you respond.

“y/n, don’t do this. Please, please don’t do this” she begs you, pleading. “No billie, I can't keep doing this.” Billie's tears finally falling down her rosy cheeks, a look of acceptance settles onto her face.

“Okay.”

You watch her grab her keys and walk towards the door. She looks back at you one final time, hoping you would change your mind. Crossing your arms, you stand firmly, despite feeling anything but confident.

You sit on the edge of your bed, holding your knees to your chest. Cries rake through your body, the memory being all too much. A ding from your phone makes you look up, rubbing the tears from your eyes as you pick up the device. It feels like the world stops spinning as you read the notification.

Billie

hey

pt 2

maze speaks !

this is so ass </3 so sorry :p first fic tho! just hoping i get better as time goes on (part two probs)

[incorrect-ulster-cycle]

is your child texting about the ulster cycle? know the signs!

brb = bitches require bulls lol = láeg owns, losers smh = smashing my hurley tbh = táin bó hcúailnge stfu = support the feeble ulaid tfw = tochmarc ferbe wins rofl = revenge (y)our father, lugaid idc = idh da charioteer btw = behead the warriors

[luvrrszn]

friends, right?

RAFE CAMERON x FEM READER

summary being rafe's best friend is already pretty darn good—but it's not enough

warnings angst, fluff, mentions of ward..., not proofread

a/n bruhhh the rafe obsession is real rn...

masterlist

being rafe's best friend had it's perks.

his undivided attention, sharing his kook privileges, and front-row seats to whatever questionable life choices he made (free entertainment 24/7 basically).

it also had it's downsides, being that you were just that. his best friend.

—

you were the camerons' neighbour. you'd lived next to them on figure eight for years, and you'd grown up alongside sarah. being best friends with her meant that you spent most of your time at her house, and that led to you and rafe developing a friendship.

almost everyone thought that you and rafe were dating, especially since neither of you bothered to correct them. however, nothing ever lessened the sting of the harsh reminders that you two were, in fact, not an item.

when sarah started hanging out with john b and the pogues, she didn't leave you behind. you became friends with everyone else too, much to rafe's initial dismay. he eventually came around when it became clear that both you and sarah were not going to stop hanging out with the pogues just because rafe "didn't like it".

so it became routine. almost every day, rafe would come to pick you and sarah up from the cut.

—

it was a day like any other. after hanging out at the chateau, everyone went their separate ways. you and sarah were waiting at the dock for rafe when you saw a familiar boat come into view.

rafe came into view, shirtless. his body was toned, sweat dripping down the side of his forehead. his hair was in a short buzz again, a haircut you'd teased him about multiple times.

you were about to say hello when you noticed a girl in the boat, wearing the tiniest red bikini.

sarah gets onto the boat first, throwing her bag onto a seat as she says, "hey. what's going on?"

"beach day. we're heading home now." rafe replies, offering you the usual hand as you step into the boat.

the girl has an unpleasant expression, as if rotten fish had been dragged on board. barely sparing in your direction, she stands up and wraps her arms around rafe's waist, resting her head against his back as he turns the boat around.

the whole ride back to figure eight, you're left wondering what she has that you don't.

—

and it wasn't like you were delusional either.

rafe had definitely been dropping hints, and giving you signals. there'd be some days where you were cooking for you and sarah in their house, and he'd walk up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, burying his face in your hair.

there'd even be some days where you'd all be watching a movie in the camerons' home theater, and rafe would cuddle up next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

—

about a week later, you're at sarah's house again. feeling thirsty, you decide to go downstairs to grab a drink of water. you walk past rafe's room and you hear topper saying, "dude, what happened to that chick? the girl you were with last week?"

you couldn't help but stop to eavesdrop.

"dude she was so fucking clingy, i had to get rid of her ass." you heard rafe chuckle.

"bullshit. you just don't want anyone who isn't" topper continues. when you hear him end the sentence with your name, your heart skips a beat. your curiosity is peaked, wondering what rafe will say in response.

"nah. she's too much of a pogue to be anything. plus, she's my best friend."

your heart drops. too much of a pogue?

you thought rafe wasn't bothered by your friends, not anymore.

you go downstairs and walk straight out of the front door, without so much as a word to anyone.

—

sarah has called you, multiple times. you finally pick up and make an excuse about feeling unwell, and that you're sorry for leaving so abruptly.

you'd just stepped out of the shower, trying to scrub off the feeling that lingered on your skin after finding out what rafe truly felt, when your phone buzzed with a text from rafe.

beefy: hey bug, sarah said you left without staying for dinner cause you weren't feeling well but i know you're bullshitting. you were literally fine, i heard you laughing from sarah's room. what's up?

you: i'm fine

beefy: don't lie to me

you: ofc you'd say that

frustrated, you throw your phone onto your bed and ignore the dozen texts from rafe for the rest of the night.

—

for the rest of the week, you ignore rafe. you don't say hi when you go over to his house, you don't say hi at the country club, and you don't text him, not even once.

you walk straight past him at parties, without so much as a glance in his direction.

but he figures he'll leave you alone for a while, just while he figures out what he's done so he can properly apologise.

he realises he's out of time when he sees you dancing with some guy who has his hand resting on your waist.

he storms over, and throws you over his shoulder, walking towards the front door as people around him move out of the way.

"rafe, what the fuck are you doing? put me down!" you whisper angrily, hitting your fists against his back. he doesn't say a word, and only sets you down on the pavement outside the massive mansion the party was in.

you recognise the look in his eyes, the anger. but it was never ever directed at you. except today.

"what the fuck were you doing in there?" he grits out.

"dancing, rafe, mygosh. and i was having fun too!" you groan, exasperated. it had been your pathetic attempt to move on.

"dancing like that? in front of all our friends?"

"not my friends rafe. your friends. my friends are the pogues, which i guess makes me too much of a pogue for you, huh." you don't notice when tears start to roll down your face.

it makes him go pale.

he made his sweet girl cry.

he uses his thumb to wipe away your tears as he says

"look, i didn’t mean it the way it came out. i was just frustrated because you’re always hanging out with the pogues, and it’s been bugging me. i was angry and said something stupid—because the idea of you getting closer to them, it just... it didn't sit right with me. i like you, a lot. more than best friends like each other. i was worried that you spending so much time with the pogues meant you'd develop feelings for one of them, and i was an idiot. i was a jealous prick, and i said something i didn't mean. i'm sorry, bug."

"rafe, you're a fucking idiot." you grumble as you bury your face in his chest while he wraps you in a tight hug. a hug so tight, as if rafe thought you'd slip away if he didn't hold on tight enough.

—

the next morning, sarah catches you slipping out of rafe's room. she chuckles, and says, "took you two idiots long enough."

[carleycore]

Gojo Satoru who answers the phone in the middle of a mission if you’re the one calling.

Especially when you’re pregnant.

He will straight up leave a meeting if you ask him to do something and it won’t even be urgent.

“Hey baby, when your meeting is over can you pick up some pastries? I’ve really been craving some.”

five minutes later he’s kissing your forehead and presents bags full of desserts in front of you, already forgot about the meeting.

[storieswithvenus]

beach days // JJ Maybank x fem reader

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴

hi!!! i hope everyone is doing well. i’m so sorry for not posting in like ages lmao. writers block is actually kicking my ass for the last few weeks so i’ve literally just wrote this to try and get something out. if it’s bad, im sorry!!!

ALSO!!! thank you for 100 followers!!! your support is super appreciated and i love every single one of you!!!

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

the sun was glowing over the kildare county. the last few days had been the hottest ones of the season so far, and from what weather predictions had been reporting, it was only meant to be getting hotter.

you, sarah and kiara were all laying on your towels, the sand being too hot to lay on like yous usually did. the three of you laying there with your bikinis on, sunglasses covering your eyes and soaking up the sun. you enjoyed this time with your girls, you got some peace and quiet from the complete chaos the boys brought.

“BABE! look at this really cool trick me and JB can do,” the sound of your boyfriends voice attracting your attention. sitting up, along with sarah to watch what your two boyfriends could possibly be doing.

“this really isn’t going to go well, is it?” sarah whispered over to you, both of you staring intently at the two boys trying to do a backflip trick. you look over to her slightly, giggling at what she said, “this definitely is not going to go well. either one or both of them gets hurt.” you reply, your voice full of love as you turn your head back to the two boys.

“20 bucks it’ll be JJ who gets hurt”, kiara speaks up from the other side of you, she sits up to watch the boys. you and sarah let out a quiet laugh at kiaras comment, watching as the two of them get into position to try the trick again.

the two boys were standing with their backs together, walking away from each other a few feet, just to start doing back flips towards each other. what they didn’t realise however, was the fact that they were backflipping right into each other. so when they both collided and flipped over each other, you weren’t surprised to hear a few groans and moans from the boys.

kiaras laugh pierced the air, you and sarah looking over to her just to see her wiping her eyes to remove the tears in her eyes, her chest heaving up and down as she tried to regain her breath as she continued laughing. you couldn’t help but look back over to the boys, who were still laying in the wet sand, groaning as the tide covered their bodies with salt water, and laugh. quiet frankly, nearly peeing yourself from how much you were laughing at the site. you and kiara laughing as pope and cleo ran over to the two and started helping them up.

“baby the fact you are laughing really doesn’t make me feel any better”, JJ collapses infront of you, laying his head on your lap and you catch your breath. looking down at the blue eyes staring up at you, “sorry jay, but you you two idiots should’ve known what was gonna happen”.

JJ flicks your thigh as a way of telling you off, still looking up at you, a massive smile on his face watching his girl laugh at something stupid he did. you looked like an angel to him, from where he was laying on your lap, you had the sun shining bright behind you, thus leaving a heavenly glow behind you.

“why are you staring at me, baby?” your voice grabs his attention again. “cause you’re so beautiful” you blush at his words, leaning down to give him a slight kiss.

“you guys make me sick,” kiara says watching the two of you, a sarcastic tone on her voice. you and JJ start to giggle looking back at each other.

your fingers run through your boyfriends hair, watching everyone talk and laugh with each other. your boyfriend laying on your lap sleeping, his chest rising and lowering as he takes a breath.

“i love you”, you looked down to your boyfriend, his eyes open slightly looking up at you. leaning down to kiss him again slightly,

“i love you too”

[stormyoceans]

CERTIFIED WAIST GRABBER PHUM

[natsredbra]

getting high and having sex with nat would be sooo hot but giggly and silly at the same time i swear

yes anon!! yes it would.

imagine you’re getting high for the first time

and you’re with your perfect gf

she’s literally talking you through it

“thereee you go, just like that” “hold it in, mhm” “you’re doing so well”

and you can’t help but get turned on, maybe its the weed too

soon you’re all over her, placing sloppy kisses on her neck, lips and collar bone

body worship!! she’s begging you for more after so much teasing, poor girl isn’t used to it

she’s usually quiet, but i have a feeling she’d get louder if she’s buzzed

she’s ALWAYS a hair puller though

takes a little while for her to cum, but you love every moment of it

its silly in a way too

one of you definitely fell off the bed at some point

giggles!!

she’s so ticklish, and her senses are even more hightened when she’s stoned to she’s giggling in your mouth like an idiot

you just tease her even more

but all her bratiness is soooo gone when you latch your mouth to her clit

eating her out for agesss

by the time you’re done she barely has strenght to move her head

by then the high mostly wore off so you clean her up and go to sleep together

wearing her clothes btw

[touyaeater]

touya eating pussy in the kitchen

warnings: afab with no pronouns or gendered terms used, pussy eating (clearly), insanely ooc

the kitchen was a mess, tools scattered and forgotten. "youre so fucking stubborn," touya grumbled, lifting you by the underarms onto the kitchen counter. quickly, he removed your bottoms, wasting no time sinking his face between your legs. his forearms gripped your thighs, pushing them forward as he literally devoured your pussy, holding you still and forcing his head between your thighs, not stopping when you were crying and begging from the overstim, continuing to lick fat stripes from your perineum to your clit.

touyas grip on your ass tightened with his other hand as you subconsciously bucked your hips onto his face. you were on the brink of orgasm before the oven timer went off, with him going to check on your cookies.

whipped my dick out half way through writing this

[thepixelatedbunny]

You know i just realized that

Fidddauthor(FordFord?) is the type of the If-only Tragedy. They could have been better of if only they'd stop working on the portals. If only Stanford listened to Fiddleford. If only he'd heed the warnings.If only Stanford published his papers instead. If only Fiddleford put his foot down earlier than in canon. But of course, they didn't, as we turn the pages of the story, we see the consequences of their decisions. One lost his mind, and the other lost the lifeline that could have saved them both. They were 2 people with shared interests and intelligence would have been the men who change the world if only.

Billford on the other hand, is the type of tragedy that you would know how it would end pretty early on. Like watching a train barreling towards your house, and there is nothing can change that. You watch this lonely, troubled genius himbo who's desperate for the respect and companionship in a world that looks down on him because of something he's born with( both his unnatural genius and his "freakish" extra finger"). He finds that companionship in the form of a eldritch dorito and dedicated himself to it, not knowing he tied his lifeline to chaos incarnate and left himself at the mercy of a merciless god. He turned his back on the world for a being that would make him jump of a building and drive nails into his hands. He pushed his friend, his family, his health away, until his own twin had accidentaly(figuratively and literally) pushed him away into the project that started it all.

They both equally make me feel so much things about the show and its respective canon materials

[st4rfckerz]

this came to me in a dream last night and i'm literally frothing at the mouth.

MDNI 18+ (dubcon)

"what did you just say?" anakin asked, his voice low and menacing. he knows what you said, he just wanted to hear you say it again.

"i said you're fucking selfish." you sneer. anakin takes slow steps towards you until you're mere inches apart. his presence filled the small room, making it feel suffocatingly hot all of a sudden. you can smell his musky scent mixed with sweat and determination emanating from him as he loomed over you.

anakin's eyes sparkle with amusement as he watches you get all hot and bothered talking about how much you claim to hate him.

"is that really what you think?" he asks, tilting his head slightly. anakin looks at you, almost daring you to respond. when you say nothing he lets out a harsh breath and calmy removes his dark, heavy robe. “oh i see.” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “you wanna know what i think?"

before you could respond, anakin kicks out with his leg, sending you flying backwards onto the floor. you cry in pain as your head strikes the hard hardwood floor, landing on your back. stars danced wildly in front of your vision for a brief moment, and when they subsided, you find yourself pinned down by his weight.

"i think you're a whiny little prude, just dying to get fucked," he growled, his eyes burning with desire. "too good for some cock? is that what it is sweetheart?" anakin held you firmly, trapping both of your arms against your chest with one hand while his other hand stayed wrapped around your throat.

"get off me anakin or i swear-" you shriek as you squirm futilely underneath him. anakin's hand flies across your face and then squeezes your cheeks together.

"stop struggling you're not gonna get anywhere." he growls, his voice deepening with anger and lust combined. you finally stop struggling against him, your body limp beneath his weight.

"atta girl." anakin's expression softens slightly, a devilish smirk forming on his lips. slowly, he reaches down and slips his hand under your robes. a low groan erupts in his throat as he feels how wet you've become.

"see? you don't hate me," a satisfied grin spreads across his face as he leans down, his mouth trailing hot kisses along your neck and shoulder. "no no, if you hated me you wouldn't be dripping right now." you arch your back into him, your body responding instinctively to his touch. a pathetic whine escapes your lips as his finger rubs little circles against your throbbing clit.

anakin chuckles darkly, enjoying how you easily surrender yourself to him. "that's better," he purrs, his fingers trailing teasingly over your sensitive flesh.

"now be a good girl and spread your legs for me."

[ruiviart]

I recently learned a new term… stove and bucket