#THEY CAN'T SAY I LOVE YOU IN THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT PARALLEL THEIR PARENTS' SO THEY NEED TO LEAVE THEM

[moonlight-froggy]

okay,i know this has been Said a hundred Times before,but i need to say It again cause If FUCKS me up

"Mike can't say ily to El because His parents don't Love eachother and don't say it to eachother 🥺" BRO STFU

His mother Is showing him endless Love

Nancy IS able to have a healthy relationship with Jonathan,even without the need to say ily. (Okay in s4 they we're a Bit fucked Up,but Just Bc they want whats best for eachother)

but guess what: she wasn't able to Tell Steve that she Loved him,and We know it Is because she DIDN'T LOVE HIM. Not because Her parents don't Love eachother and aren't showing Love. And she Has the Same fcking parents as Mike.

You little stupids can't Tell me that the reason are different,when It Is basically the EXACT SAME Situation. Like are u Kidding!? Stancy and Mileven are even paralleled in the phrases they used. AND JANCY IS PARALLELED WITH BYLER

So please WAKE UP,I DON'T LIKE THIS.

[gayofthefae]

Okay so you understand that "ew no gross" was overcompensating defensiveness and untrue but not that "she's my girlfriend we're friends we're friends" was. Sure.

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- the aha moment

or...how they realize they're in love with you

seungcheol doesn't get that aha moment, falling in love isn't something that happens within seconds for him. it's like he's slowly drifting into love, not even realizing you've become the focal point of his entire existence. when it finally hits him, it's a quiet, simple moment. he's watching you make him breakfast in the morning, admiring you quietly from the kitchen counter. he zones out for a moment, blinking suddenly and realizing damn. that's my woman. and he knows he's ruined for life.

it's kind of silly, how jeonghan realizes he's in love with you. he's just returned home from a busy day at work, entering the house to find it empty. searching the place top to bottom, he's about to call you when - BOO - you jump out from one of the closets and scares the soul out of him. he's clutching his chest, watching as you collapse onto the ground in a fit of giggles. he can't help but laugh along, realizing through the chaos that he's found his soulmate, and he'd be damned not to admit he's in love with you.

joshua's a simple man by nature. he's easily happy in life, only needing his members, his job, his lifestyle, and of course, you. it doesn't take long into your relationship before he realizes he's in love, as the two of you take a stroll along the Han River after a long day. he's watching the setting sun reflect against your figure, taking his phone out to snap a few pictures. it's when he notices his camera roll is full of pictures of you does he think well, that's it. i'm in love.

upon meeting his family, jun notices how much work you've put into it. you're doing your best to speak his town's dialect, communicating with his parents in a language that made them most comfortable. his heart swells when he sees you amidst his childhood home, trading stories and eating with the people who raised him. it's when he notes that you look so perfect here that he realizes you just fit. he's in love.

as if everything else is with soonyoung, his aha moment is full of fireworks and pizzazz. having just finished the most record breaking performance of his life, he finds himself with one thought only: i want to go home. usually, it's because he's tired. but now, ever since you stumbled into his life, he finds himself wanting, needing, to go home so he can hold you and recite everything that happened today. he's practically thrumming with energy to rush home, and everyone around him sees what is so painfully obvious. he's so in love.

wonwoo's always credited himself to be a loner. not a lot of people can fit with his quiet personality, so when you offer the idea of "parallel play" he's a little confused. his heart warms when you explain that you don't mind doing separate things as long as you're in the same area, understanding that he needs more time to himself than others might. it's when you tell him you love him enough to compromise does he think im so in love with this girl right now.

woozi's used to writing songs dedicated to his fans and members. he sits down for another writing session, brainstorming ideas and the thought of you pops into his mind. he shrugs, thinking it might be nice to mix it up a bit, sitting down to write something about you. it's when he reads his own words back does he realize he's irrevocably screwed and so in love with you. thought about settling down, buying her a house and saying screw the music. yeah, he's in love.

having always been a realist, minghao doesn't necessary believe in true love, or love at first sight. he understands there's going to be someone out there for him, but he's skeptical that that someone is going to be perfect. all his beliefs go out the window the moment he sees you - it's like you're surrounded by a golden glow - and he realizes maybe love at first sight can be real.

seokmin loves and gives as easy as breathing. he's always been a generous guy, and it's when you sit him down and kindly remind him to leave some for himself does he stare at you and realize ok i've found the one. you've become that steadiness in his life that used to be just his members, and you love and give to him like it's as simple as breathing too.

having always been the resident cook, mingyu's eyeing your food creation like it's some kind of poison or drug. he had insisted you didn't need to cook for him, he's always been the cook and doesn't mind it, but you were stubborn and he relented. it's when the first bite blows him away does he realize he kinda misses having someone cook for him too. if you're this good at cooking i might just have to marry you, he says, ignoring how you blush, going back for another bite.

seungkwan's always been the entertainer. he doesn't mind it, he enjoys the fact it's his job to make everyone laugh. but when times get tough and he's in no mood to be the entertainer, you're right there to support him. it's when he gets home to you after a particularly rough day and you welcome him in with open arms, murmuring how he's done well and doesn't need to do more. it's when he realizes he can just be seungkwan - not seungkwan the entertainer, but just seungkwan - and he loves you for that.

vernon never really thought about finding the one. he always just assumed that they would find him. and that's exactly what happens, when you bump into each other at the movie theatre - both there alone just cause. it's when you're enthusiastically going band for band with vernon about movies that he's forced with the realization that shit. maybe i have found the one.

chan's always known he was in love with you. he doesn't like to admit it cause he thinks it makes him sound sappy, but he truly never questioned his love for you. it was a simple thing in his mind - this person makes me so fucking happy - i must be in love. and how could it not be simple for him? he's staring at you quipping about some joke to his friends and he's thinking i love you. he's watching you just wake up from a nap and he's thinking i love you. he sees a text from you on his phone mid-dance practice. i love you. he's always been in love with you because he loves everything to do with you.

[ghost-bison]

people who say ninerose is strictly platonic aren't realizing that they just have a hypocritical problem with age gap. i'm saying hypocritical because those people generally have no problem acknowledging tenrose as romantic just because david tennant's forehead isn't wrinkled. but they're forgetting that the doctor is still over 900 years old and even if he wasn't, tennant was still just a few years younger than eccleston. so if you have a problem with one, you should have a problem with the other.

and i'm saying this as a ninerose shipper cause if you think rose was too young and it's weird for them to be in a relationship? ok, fine. we all have our triggers. i personally have a problem with edward/bella (twilight) and stefan/elena/damon (the vampire diaries), because the age difference is fetishized, not really written as something as problematic as it should be, and also, elena and bella are teenagers.

and ok, rose might not be donna's age, but from 17 to 19 a lot happens in your head, especially for rose who already has a job and who takes care of her mum. bella and elena are both financially stable enough that they don't have to "grow up" faster and worry about if they can make ends meet. they're still in school.

and, moreover, the doctor doesn't make it weird. he doesn't obsess over her sexually, doesn't groom her, and is aware of the age difference.

but it's also not like he has a choice: his entire species was decimated, and even when the time lords were still here, they were pretentious, elitist puritans and the doctor was basically the autism specimen who was always more curious and open-minded than the rest of his peers. he always liked human beings in a totally healthy way (I'm talking about humanity as a species, not individually, cause i know he had some weird toxic friendships but it's not about that).

he likes humanity for how fleeting our lives are. we are ephemeral and it gives purpose to our life and the doctor loves how it acts on the way we live it.

he hates soldiers cause they go against what he thinks is our nature (a need to create and witness art, a need for the other) in favour of capitalism, stupid political conflicts. soldiering treats life as less important than those stupid and, in the end, useless concepts, and the doctor loves choosing and interacting in general with people who understand that. people whose curiosity exceeds their love of comfort and fame. like rose.

he didn't choose rose because she was pretty, or young, or because he fetishized her and was weirdly obsessed with her. which is not to say their relationship was without fault, cause it was (there's a reason rose got stuck in that parallel world in the first place and sorry to tell you this, but the reason is mainly the carelessness of tenrose), but it wasn't toxic in its essence.

so yeah, you're allowed not to ship ninerose, it's ok, but don't call it platonic or weird cause it's not (tenrose was actually way more toxic).

for starters, no one looks at their friends or, as people like to call them, "parental figure" the way she looked at him. then, people kept acknowledging their relationship as romantic (calling nine rose's boyfriend and calling rose nine's girlfriend). rose showed jealousy when women displayed romantic/sexual interest in nine (jabe, lynda etc...). they literally shared a kiss on the lips. even jackie ended up accepting the nature of this relationship, and she was very protective of rose. and to finish up, rose herself called their first adventure their first date: "our first date. we had chips".

so yeah anyway. they're in love. deal with it. if you don't have a positive opinion on them there's something very simple you can do about it: to keep it to yourself or if you really can't help it, you can also learn to tag it correctly so i and other ninerose shippers don't have to see it :)

thank you

[autisticrosewilson]

It's been bugging me for a while that we have so many canonically queer characters now but none of them ever DO anything! It's like after they get two characters in a queer relationship they just never give them any conflict after. We didn't ask for more representation because we wanted that character to no longer have interesting stories outside of a queer identity we wanted you to stop queer baiting us.

I know that word gets tossed around a lot, but there is very strong evidence for TimKon, StephCass, and GhostBat where they practically confirm it but they never say anything explicitly. Supersons were literally shown to live together, co-parent Lizzie, and were explicitly paralleling other canon couples last week.

But it's too much for Kon AND Tim to be queer, so they gave Tim a civilian boyfriend that he never has any conflict with and all of the build up and tension that comes with trying to clone your dead teammate 99 times and being a hair away from making out for like 8 years.

Robin AND Super boy couldn't be canonically queer so they aged Jon up and then gave him a civilian boyfriend he never has any conflict with all while parading them around in elseworlds because they knew fans were upset about the lost potential.

Even Harley and Ivy fall victim to this in a different way. I love that they're canonically queer! I just wish that at least Ivy got to keep some of her villainy. I don't think they should have to compromise being menaces to society with being queer.

And it's related but I hesitate to call it queer baiting... what's going on with Dick Grayson. He gets confirmed bi in a non canon video game but he has more pride covers than Tim. Like you can't dangle an extremely queer coded character in front of us and then just never make it canon. And I'm tired of one off implications too. We deserve better representation than a one liner played off for a joke (Batstantine this is about you I fear) but they won't because they know full well they won't do a damn thing with him after.

You wanna know what we should be striving for? Midnighter and Apollo. Messy their whole run time, uncompromisingly interesting whether they're together or not, happily married with a daughter, and yet continued to be unerringly bad ass. John Constantine, with all of his shameless flirting and raunchiness. Grace Choi and Anissa Pierce. The pining, the break ups, the make ups. Obsessed with them.

Joey Wilson!!! You want someone whose already canonically queer who Dick has a lot of tension with? He's right there! The son of Dick's arch Nemesis. Both of their willingness to go over people's heads to protect them. Joey's ability to completely take someone's free will (and his deliberate and spiteful choice not to) vs. Dick's constant fight for independence (and his willing surrender to the pull of his family). Dick's unwillingness to communicate his feelings or experiences with literally anyone ever paired with Joey's uncanny ability to read him like a book. Are you joking. The mess, the tension, the INTRIGUE!!

This got away from me but I want my queer characters to be interesting again pretty please.

[oceanarcaneum]

okay so the "fake out lujanne-lissa" scene/plot is egregious for a lot of reasons, but actually, my BIGGEST complaint with this one isn't even the hypocrisy, but rather what a MISSED OPPORTUNITY it was for a deeper, more complex exploration of the SIBLING dynamic between claudia and soren.

when terry says "i think there's one person who can put those pieces back together," and soren asks, "what are you getting at?" i was absolutely flabbergasted when he followed it up with "your mom," because i was completely, 100% expecting him to say soren.

terry's whole argument here is that everything claudia does, she does out of love for her family. why would he think of lissa OVER soren - lissa, who, as terry seems to know by now, hurt claudia so badly when she left, and who claudia hasn't seen in fifteen years? who claudia has barely even spoken of outside of talking to ezran about how hard it was for her being asked to choose between her parents? she talks to viren multiple times about doing things for "our family," but lissa ostensibly hasn't been a part of that family since claudia was very young.

the show even makes a point of drawing a parallel between soren and lissa in season three, when soren chooses to leave viren's side after his takeover of lux aurea, and claudia pleads with him "don't ask me to choose, soren - not again." and then refuses to say goodbye to him, because she can't bear accepting that her brother is leaving her. if the writers really wanted to go with the angle of "her love for her family is the only thing that can stop her" why not use soren instead - whom claudia clearly hasn't resolved her issues with, who's a much fresher example in her mind of being abandoned or left behind?? (AND with all the focus put on terry making them PROMISE not to hurt her, it feels like it was the perfect setup for soren to actually TALK to her, and for the story to explore their relationship in more complexity.)

i just feel like it would have made so much more sense for soren to be the one to try and stop claudia by genuinely connecting with her - a real attempt at reconciling with her and offering her a true path back, instead of the weird manipulative choice to try and trick her with an illusion of her mother (who, again, broke claudia's heart last time she saw her and has caused her emotional trauma that's stuck with her for years of her life. like????? UGH.) vs soren, who claudia clearly still loves - in the final scene with her, she still labels herself as his sister that he should love and be unwilling to kill, and refuses to kill him because she's "still herself" - inherently saying that he's still her brother, to her, and she doesn't want him dead, even when she already considers herself as being abandoned by him.

soren is, by now, the only living & present family that claudia has left. it just feels so much more intuitive and believable that he would be the only one who can connect with claudia where she is now and offer her a way back home.

[pseudoquiddity]

DID YOU KNOW? The Stamatins share a candle in the theater of death - implication being they share a soul, a heart, a life. But did you ALSO KNOW that the Saburovs do too? I've been thinking about how similar the Stamatins and the Saburovs are and how P2 is actively comparing them, and I think P3 will make that comparison very important to their characters. A long thing that only I care about under the cut:

For a game that's all about love, the Stamatins and Saburovs are the only characters who conventionally "share" love as a couple and have a relationship (The Kains are all disparate, so are the Olgimskys. Everyone's wives are dead and siblings are opposed. Maria and Khan are like Vlad Jr. and Capella - that's another conversation entirely).

Alexander and Andrey are both made gentle when taking care of their addict-other-half. Andrey is focused on masculine posturing and masculinity in general, as is Alexander through his role as a town leader (mister ruler of the Rod, the spine of the town). Peter, who is archetypically more sensitive and artistic leans toward the feminine (not to strip him of his masculinity, but this is in comparison to Andrey. Because this game talks about binaries, Peter is everything Andrey isn't because two of anything implies a binary). He has almost supernatural visions that don't always pan out that he can't always communicate - the same can be said of Katerina.

Both families care for their daughter - Clara and the Polyhedron ("Have you ever lost a child? Well, mine was just murdered! My brother's, too!") But when Clara leaves the Saburovs and the Polyhedron is near-collapse, both the Saburovs and Stamatins agree to take care of Grace. Essentially, all parties are willing to think of themselves as parents - the Saburovs want so badly to be mother and father, though the Stamatins don't concretely say whether they see themselves as two parent-brothers sharing joint ownership of an idea or if, instead, they exist in a nebulous, undefined marriage that produced a biological miracle.

And, naturally, because they're so similar, the two families hate each other...

And yet, I think it's clear the game stresses that the Saburovs' relationship, for all of its faults and miscommunications, is healthy while there is something miserably wrong with the Stamatins. It's created parallels so that they can be easily compared and becomes obvious when they don't line up.

In the Diurnal ending, Katerina and Alexander's dialogue changes depending on who dies. Katerina and Alexander mourn for each other in their own way, or if neither is dead, they renew their wedding vows underneath a Cathedral bell. What's also sweet is that, on an earlier day, they'll both ask you to help their other half (Katerina wants Artemy to doctor Alexander's stress because Alexander is too proud not to bear everything himself. Alexander wants Artemy to doctor Katerina's delusions because Alexander can't decide whether they're real or not).

On the ALTERNATE side, in the Diurnal ending, Peter's dialogue never changes, no matter if Andrey lives or dies. But Andrey's does - and pretty radically. Andrey only mourns the Polyhedron when Peter's alive, but if he's dead, Andrey's conversation is much less explosive. In what might have been a mirror of the Saburovs' situation, when you go to give Andrey prophylaxis, like Alexander of Katerina - he says that he doesn't need help but his brother does. When you talk to Peter, he doesn't mention his brother and tells you to check on Anna. He even says that he "should have left this god-forsaken place two years ago. Get clean and move away for good," with no mention of Andrey.

It seems like, at every moment, Andrey is attempting to connect with Peter in the same way the Saburovs do - but he's certainly more of a zealout about it. Katerina and Alexander deny that there's anything wrong with them and tell you to check on their partner, but they don't say what Andrey does, and what Artemy points out as abnormal: "Take good care of my brother, doctor. If I kick the bucket, so be it." And at every opportunity, Peter turns away from Andrey. By his own admittance, the only thing keeping him here is his addiction (isn't that suspect) and the Polyhedron.

So, to me... It seems like the Stamatins and the Saburovs have a similar, if not the same, relationship, but what sets them apart is that the Stamatins are an extreme - and quite possibly self-serving in their love (twins, naturally). In P1, the Stamatins were mutually destructive. Andrey fed Peter alcohol, Peter never sought to break free of it despite his resentment, which meant that Andrey would never break the cycle either and would continue grinding himself down for his brother. (If you've ever read a single book that uses incest as a symptom of deeper issues, then the P1 Stamatins are rife with the same kind of themes incest is often used as shorthand for, so just imagine all of those themes for me so I won't re-account all of the P1 Stamatins) But here, the duel-destruction is different. Andrey is smothering Peter, through alcohol or other means (to ensure he stays), and this is killing Peter. Peter wants to separate, and this is killing Andrey. Neither wants to kill the other, but if they don't, they'll kill themselves.

The Saburovs are on either side of their candle, facing a wall, placed side-by-side with the light at their backs. But Andrey is on his knees in front of Peter and their candle, in service to their shared heart. I think the Stamatins are as miserable as they are because their love isn't mutual - which isn't to say they don't mutually love each other, but it's not being given equally. They can't maintain the balance that the Saburovs can.

The P3 Bachelor will have to deal with both the Saburovs and the Stamatins. In a demo mindmap bubble, he can kill Katerina if he doesn't treat her correctly. Likewise, if he doesn't interfere properly, Peter will also die. The Bachelor is forced to maintain a balance in his own mind, but I wonder if he'll have to walk lines elsewhere. Would it be better to keep the manic[Andrey]-depressive[Peter] Stamatins in sustained conflict, or would the death of either twin be more beneficial... How important is it to keep the Saburovs happy, and for them to not end up like the Stamatins...

[sannin-three]

I know it's not a pleasant thought, but if you view/headcanon Hiruzen and Orochimaru's relationship as having involved sexual grooming and abuse, it adds/changes so much context between them.

Thoughts below the cut. Also I want to be very clear that this is NOT a ship post. I can't control what people ship, but I'll ask that it please not be brought up here.

The scene of them alone together in the graveyard. I know it's supposed to be a nice moment but it makes me wonder how often the two were left alone together. Orochimaru is also quick to accept Hiruzen's explanation about his parents still being alive somewhere, showing that Hiruzen has a strong influence on them. This isn't unusual for mentor and apprentice dynamics, but given some of Hiruzen's questionable behavior (which I detailed in this post) it makes the whole situation feel less acceptable.

The way Orochimaru gradually pulled away from everyone around them as they grew older. And the fact they shifted in personality from being standoffish and quiet as a child to being a puppet master who uses an almost seductive attitude to manipulate people (SA victims can sometimes develop hypersexuality as a result of their abuse).

The bitterness at being passed over for the Hokage role despite being regarded as Hiruzen's favorite for so long is already kind of understandable, but this would make it a true slap to the face. Years of being used only to be discarded. Which would also make a depressing parallel to Orochimaru's line to Anko where he talks about throwing her away (though I personally don't think Orochimaru went this far with her, and instead was just referring to the curse mark).

Going to work for Danzo could have possibly been a way to get back at Hiruzen for the previous move. Gets dropped by the old man and goes to work with the guy's ex. Unfortunately I know I'm not the only one who assumes Danzo also manipulated and used Orochimaru to some degree. This again makes sense though it's not uncommon for people who were abused before to end up in abusive dynamics again because that's what they're familiar with.

The wardrobe change from silk kimonos and otherwise flattering clothes to the potato sack outfit that hides the shape of their body and almost every inch of their skin. SA victims will sometimes seek to make themselves less visually appealing in the hopes they'll be left alone.

(speaking of, in the Boruto era their clothing is more in line with how they used to dress and while it's still not very revealing, they have a normal collar as opposed to a turtleneck. To me this is a visual indicator of healing.)

Orochimaru's fixation on Sasuke also takes on a different light in this case. We know he wants to take over Sasuke's body to preserve their life, but this would also add more reasoning behind him talking about Sasuke's "beauty". They remember being young and valued for their looks/body, only to be dropped as an adult. Even if they hate Hiruzen now, a damaged part of them still wants to be young and desired once more.

Orochimaru having the chance to finally kill Hiruzen but still shedding a tear after everything that's happened because the child in them remembers how much this man's "love" once meant to them.

The delighted laugh she gives after revealing the body shifting jutsu and Hiruzen calls her inhuman. She almost seems proud of herself for her ability to horrify him, to finally be the one in control.

With all of this in mind, imagine the sheer horror of Hiruzen trying to seal their souls away together for the rest of eternity. For better or worse, Orochimaru broke away from his hold years ago only to be threatened with Hiruzen tying them down again, once and for all.

This also makes his last moments particularly creepy; viewing Orochimaru as a child who's pleasantly smiling at him rather than as the broken adult that has grown in their place. And saying how sad he is that he couldn't take Orochimaru with him... Just completely changes the vibe.

Sasuke himself states that he knows Orochimaru's given reasons for attacking Konoha were a lie. We aren't told what the true reason is though. This would be a potent reason though to take down the institution that allowed Orochimaru (and so many others) to be used like a pawn or a toy. If this were the true reason then it also would make sense why Orochimaru wouldn't want to discuss it openly.

So yeah, while I definitely can't say that this was intentional subtext on the creator's part, I think when brought together it all makes a disturbing sort of sense. The ninja world in general is extremely bad about pushing kids into an adult role far too early in so many ways, and sadly I can't help but assume this would be one of them.

[kawareo]

Thank you lovely people for giving me a chance to ramble more about something (this is genuine, i mean no shade)

I find it really cool how every character has a parallel with Durge! In general every single romance pairing has reasons for why i think "yeah i could see them being good together", but I love those for Durge especially since I think about Durges way too much

Gale. Prodigy, Chosen of a God(ess) with a relationship that went far past god/Chosen, with him and Mystra being 'lovers' and Durge and Bhaal being 'family'. They were also both groomed to a degree to fulfill a role and have since fallen from grace of their gods.

Lae'zel. Raised in what is essentially a cult, having her entire world fall apart when she learns the truth about Vlaakith and Orpheus (while Durge's world falls apart when they learn about who they are in act 3). Cult has harsh and merciless punishments for those that disappoint, with death and beatings for githyanki and... Well. You know what, for Durge (looking at you, deleted bad ending).

Shadowheart. Having an equivalent of an electric collar on you that her God(ess) can punish her with (for Durge, that punishment isnt so immediate but Bhaal can literally stop their heart if he wants to). Amnesia. Having to choose between leading your cult or leaving everything you thought you knew and being an outcast. Depending on what you do with Shart, they also both kill their parents.

Karlach. Having your body changed without your consent, in drastic ways that you have no control over; the engine for Karlach, lobotomy + Slayer form for Durge (slayer in a more minor way but i will say that even in evil route you dont get a say whether or not you transform the first time). They both hurt people that get close to then without meaning to. They both have someone more powerful who sees them as property. Also, ties to Gortash.

Wyll. Daddy issues! And being rejected and outcast by your Father, wanting to prove yourself that you're still worthy. They were also both given shitty fucking names by their dads. They both at some point chose between power at the cost of freedom and freedom at the cost of literally everything; Wyll when he made a deal with Mizora, Durge at multiple points through the game when it comes to Bhaal. They both struggle with being tied to an evil, manipulative being that wants them isolated and weak and alone. Similar with Karlach, unwilling body modification, but specifically one that turns you into a 'monster'.

Astarion. 'Father'. 'Siblings' that you are in constant and brutal competition with, for momentary approval of your Creator who will never have enough of anything short but the world. Creator who's end goal very much includes you dying for him. Having no bodily autonomy as your Creator can literally violate your mind whenever. Sexual abuse. Struggling with bloodthirst! Your existence itself is violent, you can't live without hurting someone! (Bloodthirst for Ass, Urges for Durge)

Halsin. (Potential) guilt for something you have done, being pushed in a leadership position (Halsin at the grove, Durge with companions) that you may or may not be unsuited for. Being so, so alone, without anyone to care for your feelings. They both also have sides of them that they sometimes can't control, with the Bear and Urges, or more literally, the Slayer.

Minthara. A proud and efficent warrior that got one upped by a person they underestimated. Ties to Orin. Living as someone with the highest social status in a brutal, cruel society. Fanatic worship of an objectively evil god(ess) and then the betrayal that follows, waking up from quite literal brainwashing, seeing how your God(ess) turns against you.

And I could go on! Theyre all so good and interesting and depending on what path you decide to take, there is always something that Durge can relate to on with any companion! I tried to avoid repeating points or talking about my Durge specifically by just talking about what is set in canon for them, and there is still! So! Much!

[evilkitten3]

Tajima Uchiha's relationship with his sons are so interesting to me like most of the fandom thinks that he was a better father than Butsuma but we haven't seen any of it on-screen and his databook description says another story ...

i don't remember where my copy of the databook is at the moment, but i mainly remember him being described as calm/stoic, and a mention of confidence in relation to madara.

that said, he likely wasn't too different from butsuma since they seemed to parallel one another.

...i typed all that then looked up and saw my databook lmao. let's take a looksie

LONG POST AHEAD YOU WERE WARNED

「・・・代わりにいいものをこちらは手に入れられたようだ・・・」

"...it seems we got something good instead..." (referring to madara's sharingan awakening)

birthday march 28th. died at age 42. aries. 179.0 cm (~5'8"). 60.3 kg (132.9 lbs). blood type a.

his personality is described as 生真面目 (kimajime), which means "overserious", "deeply sincere", or "very earnest".

the text:

冷徹なまでに勝利への算段を講じるうちはの主

the head of the uchiha who level-headedly (alternatively "cool-headedly" or "hard-headedly"; it's an adjective but i kinda have to translate it like it's an adverb so it makes grammatical sense in english sorry) works out a means to victory (no part of this sentence is easy to translate into english - we would use 算段 (sandan) as a verb but here it's used as a noun presumably bc i was put on this earth to suffer)

うちは一族を束ねるマダラの父。一族の隆盛のためには、我が子を利用することも厭わず、自身の息子への愛を客観視し、巧みに用いるをよしとした。愛情に深く、ゆえに非情。ーーー彼もまた、うちはの血の体現者である。

madara's father who governs the uchiha clan. for the sake of the prosperity of the clan, he did not balk at using his own child(ren), took an objective view of his love for his son(s), and made skillful use (of them). he loved deeply and therefore was callous (can also be "cruel", "cold-hearted", or "unfeeling"). ---he too was an embodiment of the blood of the uchiha.

[image is of tajima and izuna arriving to face butsuma and tobirama by the river] text below reads:

長男マダラと千手家の息子の交流さえも、タジマは敵を討つ千載一遇の機と捉えた。

tajima even (or "only") saw the interaction between his eldest son madara and a son of the senju family as a once in a lifetime opportunity to defeat an enemy.

---

all in all, i'd say that more or less matches up with what little we saw of him in the manga. i've talked about this before, but i think a lot of english-speaking fans struggling with viewing relationships in manga through viewpoints outside of their own, and that kinda has a doubled effect when it comes to the founders era, since the japanese lens we need to be looking through to properly understand what the author is trying to convey also has a historical filter attached.

entirely isolated of context, i would personally call them both terrible parents, as well as pretty much everyone else in naruto who is both a shinobi and a parent (fun fact: it is not good parenting to send your child to child soldier academy). in context, though, things change a bit.

first off, tajima and butsuma are the heads of their clans - that means their duty to their clans comes before their responsibilities as parents, something they both embody in their own way. however, i would argue that - possibly just due to how much more of him we see, which still isn't much - we see more of butsuma's love for his children than tajima's (i'll come back to this).

tajima shows us that he has strong confidence in madara's capability as a shinobi (even without the sharingan) and also completely trusts his analysis of their chances against the senju, even knowing of a potential conflict of interest. as soon as madara says they can't win, tajima retreats without question, seemingly just happy that his son has finally awakened the sharingan (the uchiha clan's inter-clan glorification of trauma is. a whole other post i think). he shows no interest in punishing madara for what could be argued was serious treason against the clan.

tajima's trust in madara is probably the most interesting thing about him to me - if you compare him to madara, he's easily winning in that regard. tajima as a leader understands the strengths of those he leads and is able to trust them to do what's best for the clan. tajima believes madara will end his friendship with hashirama for the sake of the uchiha clan, and once madara is presented with unavoidable evidence that hashirama is a member of the enemy clan which remains a direct threat to his brother, madara does so. however, madara is not able to trust the same way. he shows no faith in izuna's abilities as a shinobi in childhood, and as an adult seemed pretty well-primed to jump to izuna's side the instant anything happened (which. when you're fighting senju hashirama. splitting your attention is probably not a good idea).

i think tajima and madara showcase the effects of war trauma in different ways. tajima has lost three of his children, all at ages younger than however old madara is supposed to be there (my guess is 12/13; basing that off of how the ame orphans looked at 15 vs how naruto and co looked at 12/13). he's also likely lost many other people, possibly siblings and definitely at least one parent (somehow i doubt the warring states era in ninjaland had a particularly good retirement rate). tajima is used to loss, has accepted it as an inevitable part of reality, and has accepted that it will happen again. there is a strong likelihood that he will outlive another of his children. thus, as their father and clan head, he wants them to do as much for the uchiha clan as they can while they're still alive. the enemy won't hesitate to cut them down regardless, so all he can do is make them strong and hope it's enough. given that we don't really see madara or izuna interacting with any other uchiha (bc we don't see anything from their perspectives but also madara just Does Not Have Friends), it's likely that tajima's death was what awoke the mangekyou for one or both of them, which would show a very deep bond between them in spite of everything. that's my guess, anyhow.

whereas tajima has accepted and even embraced the risk to his loved ones, madara very much hasn't. he has trust issues from the moment we meet him (we never do learn if that stemmed from something specific, from just general Everything Sucks Ass Always trauma, or from just who he is as a person. i lean towards a mix of the last two), and those never go away. possibly in part bc he's repeatedly proven to be right - he can't trust izuna to take care of himself. he can't trust hashirama with his beloved clan. he can't trust said clan to have his back. he can only trust himself. unfortunately for him he also deeply wants comrades that he can trust, leading him to deciding that other people actually are him and are therefore ok to trust and unfortunately neither of those people are a) him or b) trustworthy.

jumping back to butsuma, the scene that gets most people on the Evil Dad train is the scene where he punches his son in the face. which is understandable bc you should not be punching your kids (or anybody's kids). however, it should be noted that while his sons are young, they're also shinobi. to call them children - as butsuma himself states - disrespects them as ninja. in spite of the use of burial mounds (which iirc japan began to stop using sometime after the introduction of buddhism in the 6th century), the senju clan is heavily implied to be buddhist, or at least whatever the ninja equivalent of mahayana buddhism is.

as @komehyappyou discusses here, butsuma as a japanese buddhist cannot mourn his deceased children because doing so will literally cause them harm in the afterlife. the sooner he moves on, the sooner his dead children are free to do the same. i imagine there's also a shade of this in his refusing to acknowledge kawarama as a child at all, but i think it's still mostly the respect thing. (unfortunately, i don't know nearly as much about japanese buddhism - or any other kind of buddhism, or other religions for that matter - as i would like to, so definitely check out blogs like the one i just mentioned, or @al-hekima-madara-blog for some thoughts on how hinduism shows up in relation to madara!)

[strewwwberry]

I'm obsessed with shen yuan being shen jiu's reincarnation for so many reasons

- finding out would lead to many mental breakdowns

- shen yuan being a born hater is suddenly explained

- shen yuans and shen jiu's personalities are actually very similar when you take away external factors:

Shen yuan is a hater and tends to do before thinking, especially if that's insults, so does shen jiu

Shen yuan gets oddly obsessed with things, so does shen jiu

possiveness in shen jius case would be learnt behavior from having nothing, which I can easily imagine shen yuan doing the same if he grew up with nothing (which he very much didn't experience having been second gen rich kid, which even having at the very least material things, he still shows signs of posseviness with Luo binghe at times, and again, even with his internalized homophobia!)

Being weird with relationships, im not elaborating

Trust issues brought on from ASSUMPTIONS, these motherfucks assume so much! And I can't even blame them because their assumptions make so much sense in the context they're given! But give it a bit more thought alongside action outside of just asking since they clearly love men who struggle to communicate (well done binghe for growing in that aspect) so thats just a no go

So much more tbh, and I'm not even doing this in a theory way because these two being parallels is probably (don't quote me on this coz I actually love this theory but also don't care enough to defend it in any way and them being parallels is a kinda gut wrenching shit I need lol) more canon accurate, with like everything that I'm not gonna get into rn or I'm gonna cry so sue me (don't actually, I'm broke)

But yeah I love this concept smm!! Which I find funny coz I'm a scumcum lover, sy is sj child/sibling/twin/parent/disciple/shizun/probably more, and I dunno what that says about me nor do I care 😙

Edit: also sqq(j/y) hating himself and not realising it is a different kind ironic I can't quite explain except to say its so amazingly angsty to a point is goddam hilarious

[miwiheroes]

so i truly believe that byler will be endgame. but one thing that still confuses me is the talk between mike and el in the grocery store. what was the whole point behind it and how does add up to mike liking Will if he's trying to explain that he loves el in some weird mike way? you get what i mean? it just doesn't make any sense in my head. so do you have any explanation for that whole conversation?

Hi! Thanks for the ask

I actually really think this scene is a very queercoded scene. So now Mike is actually trying to apologise to El for the things he's done over the past season. He's trying to tell her that he loves her, but he physically can't bring himself to say it. When I first watched this scene, I originally thought that makes sense since he's just a teenage boy and their relationship is played with some humour anyways. But now that we have season 4, it feels like this is a bigger issue than just this scene.

The reason for him not saying I love you to her is literally so hard for me to articulate, since I personally have never had internalised homophobia, but the best rendition i can ever really get is literally from a video by the Daniel Howell from epic duo Dan and Phil (yes, really): So if you're interested in why he can't say it to her due to internalised homophobia, watch this video at from timestamps 18:08 to 18:44.

I honestly don't believe it was him being too scared to admit it, I think it was him being to scared to say it. As if he'll know he's lying as soon as he says it. And I know this because he tries to get her her to say it instead. As if the words are dirty in his mouth.

It's a pretty strange thing to do to write such a conversation in a heavily frustrating manner as this one. It's meant to frustrate the viewer, it's meant to mirror what Mike's feeling. And how is that a characteristic of an endgame couple? It also just shows that they simply aren't on the same page. They don't really get each other.

When El doesn't understand, Mike tries to drag it out as long as possible until they get interrupted. When they do get interrupted by the walkie talkie, he POUNCES on that shit, very happy for an excuse to get out of it.

As for the details of the conversation itself, they are very interesting.

Mike describes the feeling of being 'in love' as something that 'old people say to each other'.

This shows that he views being in love as something that is just part of growing up. He views his relationship with El as something he has to do in order to not be a kid anymore. He emulates his parents' relationship, which might I add, is loveless. So he copies what his parents do, which is saying 'I love you', despite not meaning it.

Right after saying this^^ he says that you eventually get girlfriends, so it's pretty clear that he thinks that in order to not be seen as a kid, he needs to get over Will and just be with a woman. Mike is in a relationship for reasons other than love, just like his parents.

ALSO THIS WHOLE CONVO IS PROOF THAT HE AT LEAST USED TO LOVE WILL DGASJHD

In his words, he describes love as something that 'makes you crazy' and tries to get El to understand through that. And may I harp on about the fact that Mike says to Will they should just go CRAZY together hello??? And Will, in that scene, instantly understands and agrees. It just shows that he views his feelings about Will as love, at least subconsciously, but this time is viewing it as something he needs to grow out of and replicate with El.

This is not even a parallel, it's more like a perpendicular. It literally showcases the exact difference between the two relationships through using the same words.

So yeah, that's what I think of that conversation between Mike and El. All in all, Mike can't actually say the words 'I love you' because they feel dirty to say when they aren't truthful, so he tries to get El to say it. She doesn't understand what he's saying because they aren't on the same page about anything. He tries to explain in terms he understands; his subconscious feelings about Will and the way that his parents say I love you to each other. He views his feelings about Will as childish and sees being with a woman as part of growing up, no matter if you're actually in love, all because of his parents.

<33

[aashi-heartfilia]

Deku and Ochako: Two threads running in parallel

MHA has a vibrant cast with each character having its own quirks and perks. We often find ourselves shipping them and rooting for them to become cannon but in the midst of these shipping wars, we often overlook their personal journeys become true heroes.

One such pair is IzuOcha.

People often view it as a straight vanilla ship and ignore everything that makes it special/different from the other so-called vanilla ships. The fact that their journeys were always running in parallel, fighting side by side, inspiring each other in a give and take relationship...but let's start from the very beginning....

.

.

Chapter 3: The first time we meet Ochako, she saves Deku from falling on his two feet. She's nervous, but not as much as Deku. She wishes them both good luck and leaves. Now, this was their first meeting, and this is where their "Do your best" starts.

They both did their best in the exams, where Deku saves Ochako from the giant robot and Ochako in turns saves Deku from falling, like literally saving his life this time around.

Chapter 4: Then, the next time we see her, she was vouching for Deku, even at the cost of her own points. This also parallels her speech later in the manga.

Chapter 7: They enter UA, finally meet each other again, and become friends. In fact, on the very first day, Ochako says that she likes the name Deku, as it kinda gives a "You can do it!" vibe. Another fun thing to note here is that in Japanese she refers to 'gambare' which literally means "Do your best!".

She changes the meaning of his name, from an insult to something inspiring and it might have looked like a comedy gag moment at that time, but when you look at future chapters, it was much more than that.

Chapter 8: The very next chapter, we see Deku facing off Bakugo and saying "He's the Deku who does his best!". And we even see the importance of what Ochako said as she inspired him to do his best. In that test, they both pass with flying colors.

Chapter 22: Then not after too long, we find out about Ochako's motivation to be a hero, which was to earn money so that her parents can have easier lives. Some might say, there are other ways to make money, why choose heroism?

Well, you need to look deeper into the character, especially for someone like Ochako that has layers to her character. She's not someone you can tell by looking at first glance. From outside, she might be all sweet and cherry but from the inside, there's a storm. She has an iron will, and that she depicted again and again, be it her battle with Bakugo in sports fest or her quirk awakening and battle with Toga in the 2nd war. She has always been like that.

On the surface, she presents herself to be your average girl next door, but when you look behind that facade, you'll see a plethora of emotions.

She laughs with everyone but cries alone.

Her crying after Deku leaves (ch 37) or her thoughts about "who saves the heroes", or her "I didn't know the first thing about Toga" thoughts...

She has thoughts and emotions that are deep and not for not everyone can comprehend them. Some people might still see her as nothing more than a blatant love interest but we know that's far from the truth and that's why we'll deep dive into her character a little more.

Ochako has a lot of self-respect >>>

Despite what inspires her to be a hero, she refuses to take help from anyone. This is depicted when she refuses to take help from Deku in the SF. She felt embarrassed when Iida challenged Deku as that made her question her own ideals.

They were all there to become heroes and that makes them all rivals, even if they are friends and thus she challenges him to meet her at the finals.

I think that was a very underrated Ochako moment. (can't present all the pictures because Tumblr only allows less than 10 pics, but you can see it in the collage above)

From the very first day, her "let's do our best!" moment to their battle with Toga in the final war, she has been challenging / inspiring Deku but due to her soft personality, it gets overlooked very often.

It parallels Bakugo in a way and I love the parallels between Bakugo and Ochako but that is for another day.

So it's safe to conclude that just like Bakugo who has been a hardcore rival in power and ideals, Ochako has also been a friend / rival both in terms of power and ideals, although it might be more of her morals that inspire him the most. He even thinks about her in his final battle with Shigaraki, because she was the only one that resonates with his idea of saving villains but more on that later.

Chapter 37: After her loss, Deku goes to check on her and it turns out she was doing fine. She has taken it very positively or so it may seem but as soon as Deku leaves, she starts crying and Deku overhears her. He even feels guilty about not being able to do anything for her.

And that shows you how perceptive Deku really is. He's not some dumb, dense MC that has no clue how others are feeling. He's very sensible and wouldn't cause unnecessary trouble.

Chapter 45: After the sports fest, we see everyone choosing their hero names and Izuku chooses Deku. We even get a reaction panel of both Ochako and Bakugo. Bakugo always looked down on Deku and used it as an insult to call him 'useless' but Ochako changed its meaning to some positive, more meaningful.

Then in the following chapters (ch 46) they both go for their internships where Deku learns to control his 5% from Grand Torino and Ochako learns combat from Gunheads and I might say, IzuOcha might be the only people who learned the most from their internships, lol.

From then onwards, they both continue to grow in terms of power, as the story starts focusing on other characters as well, and we see less of her. Plus, her slight crush starts to develop from that point on, which made most people overlook her entire story.

But let's go over some of the key moments from that time:

Aoyama and Ochako vs 13: Aoyama teases Ochako about Deku, and this might be the first mention of her having a crush on Deku (ch 67)

Izuku encounters Shigaraki at the mall: If it wasn't for Ochako, everyone in the mall, including Deku would have died, making it the 2nd time Ochako saved Deku's life, quite literally (ch 68 and 69)

God knows what would have happened if Ochako didn't come back at the right time. She called the police and alerted everyone. Ochako doesn't get enough credit for her responsible and mature nature.

Chapter 76-77: Deku vs Muscular and Chapter 80: Ochako and Tsuyu vs Toga 1.0 where Deku and gang's interference saved them kinda like how Ochako's presence in the mall saved Deku from Shigaraki, although that was more serious.

Chapter 100: Ochako, Iida and Deku meet Hatsume. Yeah, that iconic encounter that has another parallel.

Chapter 102: Ochako realises her feelings for Deku.

Chapter 105: Deku realises it's not Ochako.

The thing is, Deku knew from the get go that the stranger is not Ochako. He even says "Ochako has been training to use her quirk and now she can float herself for some time, ignoring the side effects. In a situation like this, she wouldn't forget to use it and to reveal herself to the enemy without a plan?"

No, you're not the Uraraka I know.

And that, says volumes out there relationship! Even though, we saw how Ochako had romantic feelings for Deku in the previous chapters, she still kept on improving and Deku acknowledged that!

Even if we don't see him analysing her quirk again and again like Bakugo, he always keeps an eye on her, because note that in the manga, she never specifically tells him about her improvement but he still noticed it!

He knows Ochako enough to know that she's smart and strategic and that she would never reveal herself in front of the enemy without a solid plan. So when he saved Toga (disguised as Ochako) he knew that it wasn't Ochako!

And that's pure respect.

It is one of the examples of "Show, don't tell".

Chapter 107: Ochako quickly followed Deku's idea because she trusts him so much.

Chapter 109: And later, we see her struggling to keep her feelings under check. Because she's so inspired by Deku to do her best, it becomes an internal battle of emotions. At one point, she wants to compete with him, on the other, she has feelings for him that she can't control.

After that, it's a brief period of self-reflection from Ochako. We start seeing her less and less. She gets busy with her internship with Ryukyu and the team and we later see that they help defeat that giant villain in ch 156.

We later see that one of the biggest developments of Ochako comes from ch 163, where she regrets not being able to save Sir Nighteye.

In the class 1a vs 1b arc, she saves Deku when his quirk blackwhip goes haywire. If it wasn't for her quick thinking, again God knows what would have happened.

She may not have numerous power quirks like Deku but she's a capable hero in her own right and that is depicted in the Joint training arc when not only does she save Deku, but also manages to KO 3/5 people in the opponents team (Monoma, Rei, Poltergeist). She was literally the MVP of that arc.

Plus we get to see more of what runs inside her brain. Her ideology about forms the basis for one of the greatest arcs in the story.

"Who saves the heroes when they are in pain?"

After JTA, they again go to their internships and when they come back Deku apologises for what happened during JTA. Note that even though it was never shown, he was still concerned about Ochako.

He was sad that he unknowingly hurt her (much like how he says thank you very later after her speech). But Ochako on the other hand brushes it off, saying it's not a big deal and it inspired her to use wires much like Sero and Deku.

So, we see this relationship of give and take come into play again and again where they both inspire the other to do their best. Then they share a cute fist bump.

On Christmas, out of pure coincidence (wink** wink** Horikoshi) they both receive each other's presents.

Also note that, Ochako gets her hero costume upgraded after JTA, where she starts using those grappling hooks to grab and throw stuff, much like Deku and also attaches tiny rockets in her heels for more mobility.

Plus, that cute tiny pocket where she keeps her AM plushie❤️(that she got as Christmas gift from Deku). I think, after Bakugo and Deku, she has the most useful costume upgrade in the entire class!

Also, when Deku has a battle with Shigaraki in the 1st war, there is an entire chapter dedicated to Ochako vs Toga. Plus, she also gets to witness the aftermath of the war and her face, even now serves as the highlight for that chapter (ch 295).

The ragged blanket of heroism shed that day and what was left was the remains, of what it means to be a hero.

And for someone who was initially there for the money, it is especially important that she gets to witness this. It was the true horrors of hero society. She witnessed all this and still chose to stay in that line of work already says that she is way past her old thinking.

She's not some government agent like Hawks or Nagant or training to become the No 1 hero like Deku, Bakugo or Endeavour. Her life is simple, much like the citizens she saves, but it still matters.

And that's what makes her a People's Hero.

And finally after the first war, Deku leaves UA and Ochako rethinks "Who saves the heroes when they are in need?" and after that point onwards there was no looking back as her character arc takes a great turn!!

We get an entire arc of Dark Deku, indulging more and more into the darkness of his own powers and almost 10 chapters later we see a completely different Ochako.

I still remember people talking about it when ch 319 dropped.

This Ochako is ready to take action and takes shit from no one! One of the greatest character developments if you ask me. Ochako in a way is more like Lucy from Fairytail. Gets ignored most of the time but their moments are just as important.

Even though Deku went around saving people for days, people started viewing him as a villain. Ochako's speech brought him back to being a human.

Not a hero, not a villain, just a human.

And then we see her thinking about Toga, and how she didn't know the first thing about her in ch 342. She had a chat with Deku, where she confided in him. I think that kind of emotional intimacy is what makes their relationship interesting.

Her morals matter a lot to Deku, believe it or not! And that's why when she asks him to leave and take care of Shigaraki in ch 348, he thinks back to this conversation and unwillingly obliges.

Because he has faith in her, the kind that cannot be expressed in words. That comes from a long time understanding of each other...that is beyond comprehension for many people and that's why her "Do your best!" matters because that's what they have been doing since the day they met!

~Sunshine

[baphometsss]

thinking about the different words for love in ancient greece and how the ancient elves seem to mirror that without having separate words in the language (that we know of). we know that the word 'lath' is love, that they named the centre of their empire after love. (according to legend, it was the romantic love of elgar'nan and mythal but honestly who the hell knows what their relationship was actually like.) but the regret where solas couldn't get mythal to leave the evanuris before she was killed is most revealing. this is the one the inquisitor gives to rook i.e. the first one if you haven't already found any, the one that they find at the ritual site after varric fails to convince solas to stop, as solas failed to win over mythal. it's the one where you can have the conversation where they debate what mythal meant by calling him 'love' and have that really cringey conversation

emmrich explains that they see the memories in their mother tongues, which means it translates differently to different people. (imo this is how you know they left it open to interpretation on purpose.) taash, as a qunari, immediately associates love with eros, because qunari aren't especially forthcoming with those kinds of emotions outside of romance. mythal's fragment even points this out if you're a qunari rook. she says (paraphrasing), your people don't bond like ours do, how could you know what it's like to love someone even as they stand against you?

but i personally think the love that mythal and solas shared was not eros but philia -- deep platonic love and devotion. it's the one type of love the ancient greeks valued above all others, above even family and romance. maybe there's also a bit of storge (parental/familial love, as mythal is referred to as his family in deleted dialogue w/lucanis and bellara, who have narrative parallels with mythal and solas), and a bit of agape (unconditional, self-sacrificing love) at least on solas's side.

so as for lavellan/solas... well, obviously, there's eros--sexual and romantic love. but i think, personally, that they share most of those different types of love rather than just that one. falling in love doesn't just bring out the best or the worst in you, but it brings out everything in you. solas has never been in love, according to the description of his romance, and that's why it catches him off-guard. it was a wildcard he couldn't predict. he himself says that it changed everything. everything we see in the romance suggests that the love they share is a mixture of all those different kinds of love:

eros--the romantic component, the sexual and passionate state of being in love with someone. their interactions are deeply romantic and passionate. they call each other 'vhenan'; this is an exclusively romantic term.

philia--deep friendship and devotion. they build a strong rapport on being seen as the people they are (solas, manifested wisdom/lavellan, dalish elf), not their mantles of fen'harel/dread wolf or herald of andraste/inquisitor. they are, before anything, friends.

ludus--noncommittal love/flirtation, casual sex--well, clearly it doesn't end up as being casual or noncommittal, but certainly they went through this as a stage. 'i have yet to see it [your will] dominated... i imagine such a sight would be... fascinating'

agape--unconditional, selfless love--lavellan clearly loves solas unconditionally. despite everything he's done and continues to do, they remain in love with him regardless of how badly those actions affect them and the wider world. it's the thing that gets them the most flack from fandom because it's seen as foolish. they even criticise themselves for it. and solas sacrifices his own desires, not just because he's so determined to follow through with his plan, but because he himself also can't bear to have lavellan see what he becomes. he 'can't do it to them'. he doesn't want them to suffer more than they already have at his hands. allowing them to follow him on the din'anshiral would've been far more selfish.

pragma--enduring love that grows stronger over time. well, lavellan is nothing if not enduring; their love will endure. that love has lasted a decade despite everything. solas, too, has not fallen out of love. even if you choose not to continue the romance in trespasser, he still wants to know if they feel the same about him after all that's passed. he haunts their dreams as a wolf, because he can't keep away entirely. he writes love letters and keeps mementos. their love has only become stronger, and now they live forever in the fade where it will grow and shape their world into something less 'terrible'.

philautia--self-love. they both do everything they can to make the other see their best qualities. it's hard to put this in the context of the relationship because it is self-love specifically, but i think lavellan's hope that solas will see himself as they see him, and that solas continually points out how they've changed him when they are romanced or high approval, is not a bad interpretation.

mania--i can definitely see how you could make their love obsessive. it is all consuming; neither can let go of it after a decade. this is the more unhealthy side of their relationship.

storge--familial love. i don't think they have this love towards each other per se, but i think they had this with the inquisition. in a way, the inner circle was the closest solas got to a real family that wasn't as fucked up as the evanuris. lavellan, especially if their clan was killed, also would've needed them like this. they were both a part of the larger picture here, and this is a part of their relationship too. it was the backdrop against which they fell in love; it enabled their love.

[geekgirles]

Have you ever noticed how Double Cross My Heart, aside from the obvious similarities with Flirting with Disaster, also parallels Parental Bonding somewhat?

The first connection is fairly easy to make. After all, the episode was specifically designed to mirror Flirting with Disaster and Danny's budding relationship with Valerie while Sam stewed in jealousy from the sidelines.

An episode like that is a staple of romance subplots, and arguably a needed one. After all, the Green-Eyed Epiphany, that trope where someone realises their feelings for somebody else because of jealousy, is a classic for a reason, mainly because it works so well.

Double Cross My Heart, despite its flaws, is a classic role reversal where Sam finally got to experience what it was like to have a mutual crush on someone outside of her best friend, and the complications that come with it, while Danny got a taste of what it's like to fear losing your best friend, someone you subconsciously assumed would always be there for you, to somebody else. The fear of watching them close that door and move on from you while all you can do about it is seethe in jealousy because you don't dare admit your feelings out of fear of that ruining everything still.

Again, the similarities with Flirting with Disaster are crystal clear: the new love interest, the jealousy, the suspicious thing going on prompting one of them to spy on the other, the new ship sinking before it could even sail...

However, I think we're sleeping on the fact that it still shares a few parallels with Parental Bonding and Danny's other love interest: Paulina.

Specifically, I'm referring to this exchange from Danny and Sam's argument after he revealed he'd been spying on her and "Gregor".

Danny: Not you! I was spying on Gregor! He's so obviously working with the guys in white! Sam: Oh, so that's it! The only way a boy could like me is if it was a part of a plot to get to you? Huh? Ego much?

Sam wasn't just mad because Danny went behind her back to spy on her date, she was especially hurt because Danny accidentally implied nobody could ever like her for her and would have to have some sort of ulterior motive to show interest instead.

Now, why does that sound so familiar?

Ah, right. Because that's precisely what happened to Danny with Paulina in Parental Bonding. The irony being that he never even found out about it, since it's implied Sam kept it a secret to spare his feelings.

Sam: Hey, Paulina. Nice dress. Paulina: (Turns to her.) Yes, and it goes so nicely with your amulet, don't you think? Sam: My amulet? That's not my-- (Realization of Danny's plan hits her.) Right! Listen...my grandma gave me that amulet, and-- Paulina: Forget it, sweetie. I'm not giving up this trinket or your little boyfriend Danny. Sam: My boyfriend? Ha ha! And they say pretty girls can't be funny. Danny is not my boyfriend. Paulina: He's not? Sam: He's my best friend. Maybe that's why I was so hard on you. I didn't mean to call you shallow. Paulina: What a bummer! I only agreed to go out with him because I thought I was stealing him from you. (Putting amulet around Sam's neck.) Here, take your crummy amulet. (Walking away.) I'm going back inside to dump your dorky friend.

For all of the focus Danny (understandably) receives by virtue of being the protagonist and, hence, most people's target, the reason he ever got a "chance" with Paulina before she fell for the Ghost Boy was precisely because she was using him to get back at Sam for calling her shallow. Nothing more, nothing less.

In other words, he himself was a victim of what he was accusing Gregor of, and he doesn't even realise it!

And while Gregor was significantly nicer to Danny and Tucker (before he blew up at the latter and with it his cover) than Paulina or even Valerie ever were (Valerie has her moments, but since her arc ended up being tied most closely to Danny's, her interactions with Sam and Tucker were far and in between and not always friendly on either side), Danny ended up being right about him. Partly.

Because he indeed was a fake, only he was "just" pretending to have more things in common with Sam than he really did (and the whole false identity thing, which is kind of inexcusable, let's be honest), instead of working for the Guys in White to get to him. And that was that. Gregor was really Elliot and Sam was done with him the moment he was done with Tucker. Because her friends come first.

I suppose this all comes to show that Gregor/Elliot wasn't just a parallel to Valerie for the sake of a mirror episode and a new love triangle. He ended up being a perfect amalgamation of both of Danny's love interests outside of Sam. He genuinely liked Sam (like Valerie with Danny), but he was still being dishonest about it (like Paulina).

[shinjiikar1]

I've been trying to think about what I want to say about these first two episodes of Love in the Big City. I'm watching it slowly, it's a show that makes me want to sit rather than rush ahead, and it also hits a little too close to home to enjoy freely (I've only watched the first two episodes so far and my knowledge of the rest of the story is fairly vague so bear with me).

Go Young experiences two major losses. The parallels between these losses, what could have been vs. what can never be again was what particularly stood out to me.

Mi Ae represents a beautiful time that is forever lost. After she gets married, there's no one he can be fully himself with. He simply doesn't have another relationship on that level, platonic or otherwise, and that's truly such an isolating experience. Who do you call when you're in trouble? Who do you complain to? Who will always be your first port of call?

Often, youthful friendships are particularly intense, you're at a point where the world feels so enormous but you don't quite know what to do with it, or yourself yet. Everything still feels new and exciting. You meet people who understand you in ways you've never been understood and can't imagine it won't last forever.

And then you experience that loss for the first time.

Kim Nam Gyu experiences it too. It's clear early in their relationship that Go Young is overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the intensity of Nam Gyu's feelings (his expressions during the padlock and ring scenes in particular). He feels suffocated and anxious, he's not ready for it. So, rather harshly (at least the first time) he ends things. I've been on both ends, which makes it a lot easier to empathize with both of them. While I feel for Nam Gyu incredibly (especially as I read him as very neurodivergent), that discomfort is not something easily resolved, and it's only made worse by his inability to move on. But how can he when he also has no one else?

In the end, Go Young mentions that he missed out on what could have been a long and lasting love with Nam Gyu but I wonder if that's true. Would he have eventually opened up and reciprocated that intensity? Or would he have continued to wallow in his discomfort and let that resentment pile up even further? It's hard to say, but based on the way he behaves, I think the latter. He just wasn't in a stage of life to accept it yet, without the experiences he has with Mi Ae, and without Nam Gyu's death, would he have made it to that point before it became too much? He says he didn't really believe love was possible for someone like him, it took him a lot to get to the point where he even starts to believe it; I find it hard to imagine that he could've gotten there purely through a relationship with Nam Gyu at that stage, as sad as that might be.

Mi Ae offers a bit of an interesting foil here. She chooses loss, but the loss of her authentic self. She chooses the safe option, a stable relationship and job, pleasing her parents, following societal expectations. Maybe the guy isn't quite right, but in the end what seems most important to her is that security, and she's willing to take a loss to get it. As others in the tags have pointed out, Go Young doesn't have that option. There is no option that will (mostly) guarantee him security and safety that would even be remotely tolerable and grant him any degree of happiness. Perhaps he could have chosen to lose parts of himself to be with Nam Gyu, but that wouldn't have provided him the type of security Mi Ae enjoys. If something went wrong and it didn't work out, he could stand to lose even more.

I think that's something that a lot of cishet people fail to understand, and part of what these episodes have done so well for me. Really underlining how the queer experience differs and how isolating it can be (which I think is reflected in Nam Gyu as well).