#THEY ARE DOING GODS WORK AND I THANK AND COMMEND THEM FOR THEIR TIME AND SACRIFICE FOR ALL OF US IDIOTS WHO CANT WRITE

[captain-cheeseboi]

as a fluent english and french speaker it always makes me chuckle reading the black brothers speak french in a fic bc it’s always google translate and google translate is notorious for just being slightly off what ppl would normally say

[muddyorbsblr]

bad feeling

See my full list of works here!

Summary: Loki's entrance into the Avengers Compound depends on your approval

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Warning/s: minor character that's teeming with douchebag energy and doesn't age check before sliding into the DMs; language (nope still not sorry, Rogers); my rusty af writing (it's been months and honestly this might be cringe but if it is don't tell me i'm sensitive--) [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: metahuman Reader in denial; instalove trope alert (i didn't think i'd ever be writing that but here we are)

"Brother, this is truly unnecessary," Loki groaned, fighting every urge to drag his feet as his brother led him down the halls of the Avengers Compound, avoiding the mix of curious and alarmed stares from the Midgardians donning near-identical jumpsuits. "Rogers' begrudging approval of your truly asinine idea was enough, you need not lead introductions. I am quite sure that Stark and the rest of your comrades have not forgotten who I am."

Thor simply rolled his eyes in response. "Of course they have not forgotten, Brother, but we have had quite the number of newcomers, and I will run not the risk of them reacting with hostility if they cross paths with you. So I shall conduct a simple extemporized introductory session with them so they may…acclimate to your presence in the Compound. And not think it a clandestine invasion and trigger a security lockdown."

As if right on cue, two faces, one familiar and the other quite new to the god of mischief approached, the sounds of their jovial exchange coming to a deadening halt. The smiles on their faces quickly morphed into furrowed brows and battle stances. "Thor, why have you brought him here?" the woman with auburn hair questioned, a red energy that he recognized as Chaos Magic forming in her hands while her companion, Romanoff, looked ready to strike.

"Please, stand down, my friends." The blond god held his hands up in front of them. "He means no harm, I promise you. I've brought him here so that perhaps he could join--"

"Not a fucking chance, Barbie," Romanoff seethed. "I still remember the mind job he did--Wanda what are you doing? Why are you actually listening--"

"Because some time ago I did what you call a 'mind job' on the rest of you," she answered the former Russian spy simply, standing down and waving her magic away. "And now here I get to stand, calling you all my friends. Because you forgave me for my misdeeds. Gave me a second chance. I think we should all extend the same kindness now."

"I commend the way you think, Maximoff," Rogers' voice echoed across the common area, bystanders not so subtly beginning to crowd the area surrounding them, only parting to let the super soldier through and take his stance in the middle of the group. "Much as I'm not the biggest fan of Mister Leather and Metal 'you will all kneel before me', Wanda's right." He took a step back and addressed the room. "Everyone, Loki will be joining us for the foreseeable future. I expect you all to make an effort to help him adjust to his new life here on Earth. Or at least not get in his way. Now, back to work. All of you."

The curious agents all scattered about, returning to their tasks prior to the Asgardian brothers arriving.

"Thank you, Steven," Thor spoke up once the bystanders made themselves scarce. "You will not regret--"

"Not so fast, Odinson." Rogers threw his hand up, stopping his brother's words short. "I want him to meet Y/L/N first. If she says he won't give us any grief, then he can stay. She says no? You'll have to find another place to park your brother."

"Hey--!" Loki fought back the urge to throw a dagger in the soldier's direction. "I am not some meager property that needs to be set down--"

"If you would rather Strange lock you back in an eternal fall, that can be arranged," he shot back, the muscles in his jaw twitching in a telltale sign that he was fighting back a smug grin. He motioned toward the interrogation area, showing the way. "Meet Y/L/N, and we'll go from there."

Thor led the way further into the Compound and past the common area, the temperature dropping significantly and impelling the god to cast an enchantment that would raise his core temperature so as to not trigger his Jotun form to emerge. "Apologies, Brother," he spoke as they made their way down the hall. "There have been suspicions that an intern for one of SHIELD's departments has been a HYDRA operative attempting to pilfer data to fuel some form of invasion. This individual is in one of the interrogation rooms now awaiting Y/N's arrival, and the temperature was her idea. Put the young man in a sense of high discomfort to lower his guards."

"Have him focus on making his body cope with the temperature rather than his mind on deflecting her queries," he surmised, nodding his head as they stepped into the viewing area, laying eyes on the clearly novice employee in that same jumpsuit the others wore outside. His breathing was jittery and labored, rubbing his hands furiously to generate even some form of heat. It wouldn't be difficult to break through his defenses. "She's a clever one, that mortal. Though I could save you all the interrogation and read the lad's mind--"

"No no," Thor waved him off, motioning for him to look into the room once more. "I want you to see her at work. It's rather fascinating watching her work, and the machination of her mind is rather…perplexing."

"Should we be contacting one Doctor Foster to inform her of his…fascination of yours, Brother?" he gibed, raising an eyebrow in suspicion and finding himself a touch more curious when Thor simply laughed off the question.

"My heart is Jane's and Jane's alone, Brother. You know this," he answered, giving his brother a pointed look. Guilt sat heavily on his heart, knowing full well the words that the god of thunder chose to omit. Considering that I destroyed the Bifrost just to protect her from you.

It would take time before amends were made for making that particular threat, no matter how empty it truly was.

Before Loki could say anything, the door on the other side of the two-way mirror opened, a hard-faced Agent Romanoff entering the room and taking the seat opposite the suspected traitor. She made a point to shrug off her jacket and bare her arms, the action making the young man's face twist in derision, undoubtedly because it challenged his quite fragile ego even more.

"I have nothing to say to you," he said, the shaking tone of his voice betraying him. "Why aren't you cold? You all did something to me, didn't you? Made your freaky witch friend cast some curse on me?"

Romanoff leaned back against her chair, her smirk growing as his scowl deepened. "Where I was from, this is what summer felt like," she shot back casually, keeping her tone even despite the bold-faced lie. "And I don't need you to say anything." She jutted her chin in the direction of the door, a proud look on her face as you walked in to the room. "I just need her to look at you."

"Mister Park…" you droned, taking your time to cross the distance from the door to the cold metal desk. "I'm Agent Y/L/N, I'll be your interrogator."

You leaned in to the edge of the table, gripping the corners. Your body stiffened for a few seconds as you took a sharp breath, adjusting to the frigid cold. There was a distant, calculating, enigmatic smile on your face as your eyes roamed his features. Almost as if you were picking away at the fragments of his protective shell, exposing the answers he refused to give with just that one look.

It was a sight that was all too familiar to him. Something his mother would use on suspected traitors to the Realm back in Asgard. Perhaps that was what you were doing, after all. Or perhaps it was a well-crafted facade. Something that Romanoff or another former spy within SHIELD's ranks had taught you to unnerve its recipient.

"Like I told Agent Hot Stuff over there, I have nothing to say to any of you," he sneered.

"And like Agent Romanoff told you, we don't need you to say anything. All you have to do…is sit there." You squinted your eyes at him, sighing deeply as you said the words that apparently cemented the suspected traitor's fate. "I've got a bad feeling about you." You leaned in close, invading his personal space and making him even more visibly uneasy, not even bothering to mask how his body was shaking. "Nice contacts."

In a heartbeat, Agent Romanoff leaned across the desk and grasped the bottom of the apparently confirmed traitor's face, the man they called Park now wincing and groaning in even more discomfort as she inspected his eyes. "Implants?" she asked you.

"Seems buddy boy here's really committed to the cause," you remarked, mocking their organization's salute. "Helium Hydrogen or some shit."

Park slammed his fists down on the table, neither woman even flinching at the outburst. As if you both saw it coming. "It's Heil Hydra, you stupid bitch!" he screamed, fighting against Romanoff's hold and trying to stand up from his seat to charge at you.

You, however, simply responded with a self-satisfied grin as you called out toward the other side of the door, "And there's our verbal confirmation! Lock 'im up." And just to goad the traitorous intern on further, you ruffled his hair and looked him dead in the eyes and said, "Thank you for your cooperation."

Right as you said the words, Rogers burst into the room along with two other agents, flanking him and restricting his movement so he couldn't charge at anyone in the room. "Put him in the holding cells until transport gets here," he instructed the agents, who simply nodded and walked the traitor out of the room.

You and Romanoff turned off the lights and walked out arm in arm. Loki caught a smidgen of your conversation about meeting the significant other of another new Avenger. Something about "earning your stamp of approval".

"What did I tell you, Brother?" Thor prompted, nudging his arm.

"Fascinating," he mumbled, unable to wipe the image of that enigmatic smile of yours from his mind. Wondering what you looked like when you were genuinely beaming at something. Or someone. "It seems she's somewhat telepathically inclined."

"That is what many of us have been trying to tell her, but she refuses to listen. Insists that she is simply better inclined at reading others from her years of dreadfully flawed relationships of 'every kind'," he explained, leading him down the same hallway that you and Romanoff had disappeared to moments ago. "Repeatedly tells us that her most effective and only teacher has been, in her words, her life's revolving door of shitty people."

"And Rogers wishes for me to meet this Y/N so that she may what? Approve of my being here? He defers to her when it comes to newcomers in your merry band of his realm's mightiest heroes?" He tried to mask his curiosity with his signature smarm, trying to seem disinterested in what seemed like an initiation rite.

But in truth he was all the more looking forward to being face to face with you.

"She has not yet been incorrect in the years that I have known her. And you have nothing to fret about, Brother. You will make a fine addition to this team," the blond said proudly, both of them finally arriving to the considerably warmer common area. Loki finally lifted his enchantment, no longer concerned of his Jotun form emerging as his brother raised his hand and called out in your direction, "Y/N! I have returned from Asgard and there is someone I wish for you to meet--"

"In a minute, Barbie. Carter's bringing in her latest beau. Something about her wanting me to have a read on him before she gets too invested," you answered him, throwing your hand up in their direction. You threw a cursory glance their way, barely registering the raven-haired god, before returning your gaze to the door where another unfamiliar face walked in, arm in arm with a man whose entire aura screamed 'philanderer'.

"Y/N, I'd like you to meet Nathan. Nathan, sweetie, this is my friend--"

"Wow you're stunning," the man said, raising his hand in front of him, seemingly to shake yours. But the positioning seemed…off. As if he were to turn your hand and kiss the back of it the second you even brought yours a fraction of an inch upward.

One look into this Nathan's thoughts all but confirmed it. Along with all the other deplorable indiscretions he had stacked against him.

If the god's suspicions were right and you truly were telepathically inclined, you would see those indiscretions, too. With the right guidance, you could explore the true scope of your abilities. Perhaps even advance them.

Your unmoving stance brought along a disquiet to your friend's features, her smile fading into a grim line as her eyes drooped and her posture slumped. She'd seen this reaction from you before, and she seemed to already brace herself for your next words.

"I've got a bad feeling about you," you said in an ominous tone, standing at your full height before tilting your head slightly. From where he stood, Loki could see the man grow visibly anxious, his pulse quickening and beating furiously against his neck.

"What--Why what'd you see?" your friend croaked out, fighting back sobs.

You chose to instead address the deplorable excuse of a man. "You checked out no less than three women since you walked through the front door, and at least twice you wondered if any of them would be down for a threesome. You have a secret social media account that you use to sext other women and send them your dick pics, ohh and by the way…that pump that you're using? Doesn't do shit."

The god had never seen someone's complexion visibly pale until now, Nathan losing all color in his face as if he'd been drained of blood. "You--You d-don't know what you're talking about, you fucking freak!" He looked to Carter, his eyes rife with panic. "Babe, your weird friend here's just pulling this all out of her ass, she's lying--"

His paltry laughable excuses were cut off with a chorus of hissing sounds and "ooh"s and "yikes" from your team, as if his words were so offensive they physically stung. Stark spoke up, clapping his hand down on the man's shoulder. "Now see here, Rudolph the horny reindeer, you've made at least five mistakes since you stepped through that door. But calling Y/N here a liar? Yeah, that dug your grave, dick for brains."

"Well then she's wrong!" he whined, grabbing for his lover's hands and holding on with a death grip. "Baby, you know me, I'm your pookie bear. I would never hurt you--"

"Oof goddamn now I wish I was lying," you quipped, a mixture of surprise and disgust coloring your features. "You couldn't waterboard that nickname out of me. Maybe try going for something that doesn't sound like a name a toddler would give a stuffed animal for the next one? You probably have her all lined up, right? Somewhere in all those DMs and FaceApp'd shrimpy photoshoots?" You took a step closer, not seeming to care about how his free hand was clenched so tightly into a fist that it began to shake. "By the way, I hope you age checked those girls. I'll give you two pieces of free advice. First? Age of consent in New York is seventeen. Second? Don't treat it like a damn target."

Your friend Carter finally jerked her hand out of his and struck him across the face, the sound reverberating through the common area. Stark raised his brows and nodded at her in approval, making a remark about how he wished he had some popcorn.

"It's over," she told him. "I don't ever want to hear from you again." Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she said the words and motioned toward the same door they walked through just minutes before.

"I'm not going anywhere," he insisted, acting like a misbehaving toddler and stomping his foot. "Why would you even believe this freaky little bitch over your own boyfriend, I thought we had some--"

"Because we trust her, cradle robber. And to this day she's never been wrong about a damn thing," Stark sniped, walking over and putting himself between you and the increasingly belligerent Nathan. He placed a tablet in Carter's hands. "I took the liberty of getting into his second account and sending screenshots of his messages to…well, just about everyone in his contacts list. But I figured you ought to see it and scroll through the messages first hand, Sharon."

At this moment, Loki caught another glimpse into the philandering man's mind, seeing a vision of him intending to attack you and strangle you with his bare hands. And just as the god suspected, you had glimpsed the same thought running through his mind, side stepping out of the way just before Nathan could get a hold of you. He watched with more than mild amusement as Thor stepped forward next and grabbed the whining man by the back of his shirt and lifting him into the air.

"Any mortal capable of even the tiniest amount of coherent thought would know better than to attack my friends," the blond said in a low, authoritative tone that eerily reminded Loki of their father. He promptly walked Nathan to the same door that he and Carter had walked through; Loki could see that his brother was physically fighting the urge to give the impudent puny mortal a swift kick to his rear as he gave him a nudge out of the premises.

"Thank you, Barbie," you spoke, an equally amused look on your face after witnessing the whole ordeal. "Always knew it was a good idea to have an Asgardian bouncer guard dog around."

Once Thor had made his way back to you and the rest of the team, you and he grasped each other's forearms. A show of respect that the blond oaf usually only had reserved for his closest comrades, the Warriors Four. Only recently had he even done that with Loki, and while the god of mischief would never admit it aloud, the gesture had him fighting back that traitorous prickling in the backs of his eyes.

"Speaking of having Asgardians in the Compound, there is someone I wish for you to meet, Lady Y/N," he spoke, motioning toward his brother. You tilted your head, a smile so starkly different from the one you had in the interrogation room brightening your features the moment your eyes met Loki's. "This is my brother, and he could be quite an invaluable asset to the team."

"With your go ahead, Agent Y/L/N," Rogers spoke from his seat, intently watching the scene play out before him. Once again agents had begun to crowd around them, completely halting their movements to bear witness. "Like Stark said, we trust you."

You barely gave a response, the only indicator that you'd even heard Rogers' words being a slight jut of your chin in his direction. Loki took your considerably smaller outstretched hand in his, taking every bit of his strength to stay upright as the visions bombarded his mind. The smallest gasp slipped from your lips. You took a moment to compose yourself before you spoke, addressing the team.

"All clear, he can stay," you announced, a boisterous whoop coming from Thor the second you gave your judgment. Neither of you made a move to let go of the other's hand.

"Okay not to take a page out of your book here, jellybean, but…" Stark spoke, breaking you two out of your own little bubble. He pointed his finger back and forth between you and the raven-haired god. "I've got a bad feeling about the two of you."

Stop smiling, you literal idiot, you chided yourself as you paced the floor of your apartment. There was no logical reason to even be thinking of the new member of the team now that you weren't around him, and yet you couldn't get the jet black-haired Asgardian dressed in dark emerald leather out of your mind.

The bar must have been in hell if all it took to get you to actually smile was the fact that the second you two met eyes, no alarm bells went off the way that they did for that newbie traitor…or Sharon's now ex boyfriend. The only hunch that you got looking at him was that he was definitely there to watch the interrogation and trying to figure out how you clocked the iris implants on Park.

"Maybe if he figures it out, he could clue me in on it, too, because I don't have the foggiest fucking idea where that came from," you muttered into the emptiness. And then like clockwork, you found yourself thinking about his blinding brilliant smile again.

And the way his hand completely dwarfed yours.

And how even in those few moments in the common room, being around him for some reason blanketed you in this feeling as if, for the first time in a long time, you didn't have to be as careful anymore. Like you no longer had to constantly be looking over your shoulder because someone might actually have your back and--

"Now you're just being ridiculous, Y/N," you grumbled at yourself, staring down your reflection. "How many times have you had your heart shattered from trusting too easily? Feeling safe around him is exactly why you shouldn't feel safe, why is it that for all the people that trust your instincts, you can't seem to listen to them yourself? And have I lost my freaking mind I am talking to my own--"

Knock knock knock

The sound came from your front door, snapping you out of your rant. "Who in the fuck?"

A lump formed in your throat when you opened the door, looking up at the exact stormy blue eyes that refused to leave your mind since you met him a little over an hour ago. The ones that made a question form in your mind that you couldn't bring yourself to voice out.

Why do I have a good feeling about you?

"Loki…" you said his name slowly, trying your best to ignore how bizarrely right it felt to say it. As if you were meant to. As if you were going to say it -- scream it, even -- for years to come.

"Good evening, Y/N." What you couldn't ignore was how the sound of your name from his lips made your knees want to buckle. "I wish to speak to you about something that I saw when I touched your hand earlier. A vision. Of the future."

The lump in your throat suddenly got bigger. "Ohh God am I gonna die? Soon? Because if I am I don't want spoilers, not even hints, what's gonna happen is gonna--"

"I saw us," he cut you off, reaching for your hands and rubbing circles on the inside of your wrists. "Years of stolen glances and missed opportunities and unsaid words. And it was only at the brink of losing you forever that I finally would find the courage to tell you of my affections."

There were no words, all you could do was blink at him as you tried to process his words. Looking desperately for the telltale signs that there was a disconnect between what he was saying and what his actual intentions were for coming to you like this. The disconnect that was present with most men that you were face to face with.

And yet your intuition, that hadn't failed you for as long as you could remember, was practically squealing with glee that you could feel safe around the god.

"Why are you telling me this?" you asked him. You were surprised you could even form words. Or that you somehow managed to bite your tongue from letting slip a more abrasive question.

He stepped closer to you, a soft smile on his face as he gently framed your face with his hands. "I don't wish to spend the next years pining away and foolishly waiting for the timing to be just right. I had glimpsed our future, and it was…" His smile widened into a brilliant grin, his thumbs tracing along your cheekbones. "It was resplendent. Having even the most fleeting glimpse that what we would have, it had me awash with…peace. The kind that I had longed for for centuries."

Your breath hitched when he pressed his lips to your forehead, your heart pounding away furiously in your chest. You knew a little too well the feeling that he was describing. That feeling of peace. Of a calm quietude that put you at ease even if the world would have been crashing down around you.

That feeling like you were home.

"Now as for your unspoken question," he whispered, breath warming your skin. "Of what am I doing here…I wish to change that future. Or rather, hasten it along. If that is what you want as well, of course."

He pressed his forehead to yours, loosely wrapping his arms around you. All you could do was nod, secretly grateful that he was holding you upright because the violent fluttering in your stomach was making it hard to stand.

That feeling spread throughout your entire body like wildfire when he briefly brushed his lips against yours; you could feel how much restraint he was exerting to pull away. To test the waters. To wait for you to tell him it was alright.

And you let out the words that were fighting to break free since you first saw him earlier today. "I have a good feeling about you."

A/N: *peeks out from behind the laptop* ohai there…long time no see 🙈 Imma say it again because it bears repeating: I'm rusty as all fuck and I might be for a while, but I'm trying to get back into writing since I haven't really done much ever since starting the new job. But things are finally beginning to settle down and normalize, so I'm trying to somehow find a groove again.

I'm gonna be so real w/ y'all, the next stuff on my queue is RTC and 'the final Lady Sharpe' and with how rusty my prose feels, I'm so scared to touch them 😂

Also this is another story that was inspired by a TikTok pov trend. The one where people lip sync and act along to the song that goes "Oompa Loompa doopadeedoo I've got a bad feeling about you", as if it wasn't cringe enough 🥴🫡

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist

[beescake]

PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)

[dotster001]

Request pls: Yuu's Harem

Riddle, Leona, Jamil, Idia, Malleus, Azul to gn!reader that helps them heal from overblot (unsure to add Vil cus he has Rook whom already does god's work everyday)

Reader just comes close to their space and sees if they're doing good. Then it evolves to asking about their day and about the world of TW to make convo. Then it turns to a friendship where Reader commends them for doing things beneficial and good for themselves in the day, then tells them "Good boy/good job!" at even the smallest things when they take care of themselves without Reader's help (beast tamer Yuu awakening)

Reader gives them a braided bracelet made by themself and they cherish it. But then one day the Vice/Other dorm leader notices the bracelet and goes "Ah, so you're officially part of the harem"

You can write either first or second paragraph I just wrote it all out for context of the second

Self Love and Braided Bracelets

A/N: I did a little bit of both 😁 I included Vil, because no offense to Rook, but someone who makes comments about someone's weight is not good for self love

3k followers masterlist

"So, I made this for you. You don't have to wear it, I just….I was making one and it kind of started to remind me of you," you handed Vil the gold and purple braided bracket you'd made the night before. He gently picked it up, seemingly unsure of how to feel about it.

"Also, I just want to say," you took a deep breath, "if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here to listen."

The look in your eyes was so heartfelt that Vil worried he'd tear up just from looking at it. 

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you."

Not that you'd ever know how raw you'd made him feel. Perhaps he was still too weak from his incident. It didn't matter. He was as composed and calm as ever.

A braided bracelet didn't exactly fit his wardrobe. But the next morning, his hand hovered over it, hesitating about not wearing it. So he slipped it on. His gut was never wrong, and it was telling him to wear it. Besides, his sleeves would cover it.

….

Months later, and Vil was now sitting at your lunch table. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed it when you would take a spoonful of food and feed it to him when he didn't eat enough.

Malleus Draconia, of all people, walked over to your table with a tray, his entourage in tow.

"Hey Mal Mal! I'll get us some more chairs," you said with a smile, getting up and beginning your hunt for seats.

Idia looked up from his silent eating, and pointed to Malleus' wrist.

"So you're part of the harem now, huh?"

"The what?" Vil muttered before noticing the green and black braided bracelet on Malleus' wrist.

"It's not a harem," Riddle said with a pout.

"What else would you call it?" Idia snapped, fiddling with his own bracelet that Vil was noticing for the first time.

"The turnip's got a point for once. It is very harem like," Leona snickered.

"Doesn't harem imply a romantic aspect?" Azul asked, looking up from his meal. 

"The flowers we all got for love day have a certain implication," Leona smirked.

"And the "I love you, have a great day! You matter to me!" Texts every morning also have an implication," Jamil muttered, clearly flustered by the conversation.

Idia nodded, and said, "It could also just be a friendly harem. You know, a harem of self love. Harems can be platonic."

"Platonic, huh?" Riddle sounded a little sad.

"It sounds like it really depends on Y/N's feelings," Vil spoke up finally.

Before the others could respond, you came back dragging a chair with you.

"Sorry that took so long! Who knew it would be so hard to find a chair?" You laughed.

Malleus sat down, and you looked over at  Idia.

"Idia, I know I don't say this enough, but I'm really proud of you for eating lunch with us."

"Thank you," Idia practically purred, the tips of his hair turning a light pink.

Vil shook his head with a light laugh. He looked at his fellow "harem mates", and realized that whether this was platonic, romantic, or something else, he was willing to see wherever it led.

[luveline]

hiii, can i have a blurb with emily, it can be literally about anything, i miss her and you write her impeccably ✨🥺

thank you ♡

Emily frowns at her computer screen. She's been having a hard time using the new system, and she can't stop batting at the feathered bangs that kiss her eyebrows, an agitated tic. 

She really doesn't like admitting that she can't do things. 

You rifle through your desk drawer. A few weeks ago you'd stopped for throat soothers on the way to work and found a packet of strawberry flavoured mentos at the gas station. I love the strawberry flavour, Emily'd said once, but I don't like any of the other ones. It feels like too much of a waste to buy the bag. 

You bought them. Chickened out on giving them to her. They're still sealed. 

"Hey," you say quietly, careful not to draw the attention of her deskmates. If Spencer or Derek were to witness this, they'd both laugh at you. Everyone knows how you feel except Emily, because isn't that always the way? "Emily?" 

She immediately turns her attention and concern to you, her eyes so dark and pretty it makes you feel sick. "Hey," she says, her voice dulcet, near melodic, "you okay?" 

"I got you these." 

You pass her the box of mentos without fuss. 

Her lips part in shock before melding to a smile that brags the pearl of her teeth. "Oh my god. Where did you find these?" Her gaze flickers between you and her newfound treasure. "How did you–" 

"I remembered, um, when we went to Austin, you," —you look down at her hands— "said you liked only the strawberry ones. So when I saw them I hoped you'd like them."

"Have you ever tried them?"

You rub at the inside of your wrist. "No." 

Emily's chair rattles as she stands, and mentos hit the sides of the box as she breaks the seal with her finger and tips a few into her palm. They're a light pink and smell strongly of strawberry, though there's a subtle coolness to them. 

"Here," she says. "I think you'll like them." 

You take it because she could offer you little tiny rocks and you'd eat them. You'd smile at her with cracked teeth. Emily doesn't realise how much power she has over you (remarkably) nor the effect of her closeness. You press the mento between your lips and she does the same, beaming this beatific, heart-racing smile at you as strawberry pops over your tongue. 

"They're good, right?" she asks, nearly smug. 

You nod quickly. You're not a reliable narrator and you'd say yes no matter what, but something about looking at her makes them sweet. 

"The– the new computer system, it's buggy, right?" you ask. When she looks at you dumbfounded, you correct, "Non responsive. Doesn't wanna listen." 

"Right?" She looks so relieved that it knocks you off kilter. 

"I think I figured out how to get my emails to stay in one place," you say, aiming for casual, barely making the mark. 

"Could you show me how to do that?" 

You sit in her desk chair at her computer and fix her emails to the desktop. The system isn't buggy, but you want her to feel capable. She is capable. Strawberry mentos over your shoulder, her hand resting on the back of her chair, fingertips brushing your back and silky dark hair skimming your shoulder, she's perfect. 

Spencer meets your eye from over the desktop monitors. He, of similar disposition, seems to be commending you on your demeanour with widened eyes and a small nod. 

Derek, on the other hand, taunts. "Is it hot in here?" he asks, fanning himself with his t-shirt. 

Emily leans over your shoulder to grab a case file from her desk, tossing it onto Derek's. "You can fan yourself with that once you've peer reviewed it for me." 

Spencer shakes his head in pity. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Emily asks you, looking down. "Are you hot too? You look flustered." 

"I'm feeling it," Spencer says. 

"Huh. I must be cold blooded," she says under her breath, the exhale tickling your neck. "Weird." 

[the-s1lly-corner]

You can give followers a lamb plush... buht...what if reader... gives the bishops plushies of them.. follower bishops.. please.. looks at you with my soggy eyes

Giving the bishops plushies of themselves

I tried. anew ice cream flavor and UEUEUE it's so yummy I hate being lactose sensitive

Notes: post game follower bishops, reader is GN, written on mobile

CWs: none

LESHY

feels it with his hands to figure out what it is, making sure not to cut the thing with his claws... oh... its him! ... do you take him for a little kid? why give him such a gift-

ignoring the fact that hes going to gnash and bare his teeth at anyone who dare tries to take it away from it or so much as touch the doll without his permission

will shut you down if you offer to take it back... this is his now! no take backs! sometimes carries it around in his room

lets the fact you sat down and made something for him go to his head... ohoho was he on your mind enough that you felt the need to make something in his image?

will not let it go, and will bring it up whenever- sometimes does it to his sibling.. annoying youngest child behavior. "haha look what i have you dont have it eheh loser"

HEKET

dolls arent really her thing nowadays, but she does keep it... like shamura, she shifts it around in her hands as she looks at it. outright asks what you expect her to do with it

keeps it on her bed, but doesnt really cuddle with it... shes not much of a cuddler, in general...

will go on a small rampage if someone were to sneak into her room and steal it away, from nasty things being ripped out of her mouth to throwing anything she can get her hands on until she believes justice has been served and her gift returned

mixed feelings about it... shes so used to getting things from followers when she was a bishop, but it feels... different now

you made this out of love, not out of devotion. it leaves an odd taste in her mouth

KALLAMAR

loves it, and if you made it hes going to show off your work to everyone who will listen... and everyone who wont! he keeps it on his bed!

sometimes snuggles into it as he sleeps and will immediately bolt up to pick it up if it falls off the bed and onto the floor

if the clothes arent attached to the dolls body, expect him to ask you to make some outfits for mini him

genuinely holds the gift close to his heart... things have been so different since hes been made to join the lambs cult, so having someone dedicate so much time and effort into him feels nice and reminiscent of his time as a god

it... may go to his head a little bit... but hes not going to get overly obnoxious about it like some people

SHAMURA

they simply... stare at it for a long moment as they hold it in their hands... you almost begin to think that they dont like it- before they shift it in their arms and thank you

did you make it? because if you did, they must commend you for your work... its well made

they dont snuggle with it in their sleep, but they do keep it in their home set on a shelf or a desk... they tend to look at it a lot, it reminds them of you

takes very good care of it- keeping dust off of it and overall not being rough with it

they may not cuddle it or pour out their feelings for you, but they do truly appreciate the gift

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi sophie (again) one really quick note, the reason i read through your ENTIRE blog is because my dissertation is on facetious disorders portrayed and influenced by social media and the likes of such- it is literally a 250 page document about people like you. It's literally a part of my research to read long-winded things like this and write about them. My livelihood revolves around this. I don't expect to see a Dr. before your name, but you can damn well expect to see it before mine.

The only reason I sent that ask and wrote a targeted post was to get a response from you. The only reason. Had some writers block lol, I needed some material 😅😅

Another note to add to the grooming part was not about LGBTQ or transgender people as I am both myself. Please do not take it as a jab to your gender identity, and I apologize if it came off that way. It was in no way meant to insult you in that regard.

First, thanks for clarifying about the use of grooming. I don't mean to suggest you did intend it as a remark about my gender identity.

But I do think it's important to note in a "you are not immune to propaganda" way. Because I think, consciously or unconsciously, anti-endos have adopted transphobic talking points.

I assume and hope that this is unconscious. That rather than looking at how conservatives have used these talking points to harm queer communities and going "yeah, we can use that talking point too with these people we don't like," this absorption and repetition of these talking points is happening on a subconscious level. In which case, I think it's important to understand where they've originated and what the history is behind them.

As well as what misusing these terms normalizes. Because repeating them does contribute to a culture that is okay with using "grooming" this way to associate people they don't like with child abusers.

Now, allow me to first commend you on starting work on your dissertation so early. Working on it at just 20 is quite impressive indeed.

Although I have to question the subject matter.

A factitious disorder is when somebody is faking a disorder or pretending to have a disorder. It seems strange that you would seek to use examples of people who do not actually have a disorder and are not claiming to.

Even if endogenic systems were lying, unless they're presenting themselves as having a disorder they weren't, they wouldn't qualify for criterion B.

If you do want to write about people who have plural experiences without having trauma or a disorder, you might want to actually read my studies and research page. I'm sure that you could find stuff there that could help you on your journey.

And if you plan on writing about tulpamancy, specifically, Dr. Samuel Veissiere's Variety of Tulpa Experiences is probably most useful in understanding the tulpamancy community and viewpoints on the practice.

I would also recommend Learning to Discern the Voices of Gods, Spirits, Tulpas, and the Dead, as it offers a great comparison between tulpamancy and other forms of non-pathological voice hearing.

I imagine that these studies are much more productive uses of your time than scrolling through over 11,000 Tumblr posts, and would look better as sources in your dissertation.

Finally, if you are committed to doing a dissertation on factitious disorder, I would highly advise learning how to spell factitious. Because it's not "facetious" disorders, and spelling it that way might look a bit awkward on your dissertation about factitious disorder.

[cipheramnesia]

Part 4: A Midnight Summer Dream

a story by @rox-and-prose and @cipheramnesia

Luna was a pale sliver of paint in the stars, a slip of the brush in the forever of the sky.

"That's it," Michele Loren said. "This is where we head our separate ways for the moment."

Laika took her hand of the control vines for Genghis Khan as she stared wordlessly. The earth civ moon, original version, a system unto itself. She had devoured all she could find about Luna, the multifacet god, in hopes to understand the call she felt in the days after leaving home. She'd put the hope of seeing Luna with her own eyes at the bottom of a box and buried the idea. Her muzzle hung slightly agape as she searched for something momentous to say, to share with GK how much it meant to be in the here and now.

She noticed Sy was watching her, and the dryad smiled and glanced away when he saw her seeing him. She blushed and her face felt hot, and she forgot her train of thought.

"I never imagined I'd rob the moon," she said.

"You're only robbing a very, very small part of it," Cat Nguyen corrected.

The crew of the Paperclip were sharing the bridge of Genghis Kahn, with varying expressions of perplexity on their faces watching the werewolf executing the peculiar movements and footwork involved in manipulating the various switches and nerves and pedals essential to a Pilot. Even Doc seemed entranced, silent through all the system jumps, or structure solutions, or whatever GK liked to call them. All except Dandridge who returned to the Paperclip immediately in a sullen huff, vowing never to set foot on GK ever again. Laika was going to need to find out what exactly GK had done to piss him off so bad.

Now they were gathering up helmets and and gloves for their envirosuits, looking around for just the right way to excuse themselves from the room which Laika had seen enough of before she was eight to recognize. "Okay," Loren said. "Well, you know. This should go fine, just stick with the plan, keep it simple, you know."

"I can do better than that," Doc (Laika still hadn't figured out if the woman was Blake Sloane, or Sloane Blake, or something else), pushing her bracelets along with the sleeve of her purple, double breasted, knitted suit jacket. "I can stick the plan to me." There was a mess of writing which Laika deeply hoped was meant to look smeared and half erased on Doc's forearm.

"That's, that's a great- Good job Sloane."

"Doctor Blake, why can't you ever get my name right?!"

"I'm sorry. Doctor Blake. Fantastic work as always." Loren turned to Laika. "Look, I don't know how to uh. You know how much work this has been for me. Well, just be careful. Make sure next time I see you, you have the godseye or Doc, or both. Or don't let me see you again?"

"Is that a threat," Sy asked.

"Think of it as friendly advice," Loren said.

"And also as a threat," Nguyen added, despite Loren's sharp look. "What?" she shot back at his frown.

"Do I have do go with these guys?" Sy looked at Laika who said "no" at the same time as Loren and Nguyen said "yes."

"We'll keep our end," Nguyen said, "along with your friend. You keep yourself along with Doc."

"Who you wouldn't be sorry to see killed, I gather."

"We'd prefer she come out of this mostly intact," Loren sounded almost apologetic.

"Okay, okay, fine. Let's not draw this out, I get it."

Loren breathed a small sigh of relief and Nguyen just smiled. "We'll get going then," he said.

"Take care of yourself," Laika gave Sy a shoulder pat as he walked by, then impulsively pulled him into a hug.

"I'll be good," he said into fur. "You have the hard job."

"Pulling off the heist?"

"Being alone with, uh, the Doc."

Loren and Nguyen waited at the entryway to the bridge. Laika set down Sy from the hug and stood her full height. "Oh," she said. "Before you go? GK, please threaten them."

Its voice coming from nowhere as usual, GK said, "Thank you Laika, for this commendable request. Captain Michele Loren of the Paperclip, please prepare for receiving a threatening missive."

"What?"

"Captain Michele Loren, Pilot Cat Nguyen, and the remaining crew of the ship Paperclip not present aboard myself, I am placing you under the advisement that should even the smallest fraction of an injury occur to Pilot Laika Blackwood, or Sy Drangea, electrical engineer, I will track you to the end of earth civilization space, and to parts unknown. You will never know safety or peace for as long as you remain alive. I will find your dreams, and take them from you. There will be no power up to and including the total heat death of this universe which will stop me from extracting your lives in payment. If you die, I will find yours souls. I will tear apart the essence of your beings. I will disperse the electrons of your bodies into every star of this universe. I will burn your souls to ash. Nothing will remain. Please ensure Sy returns safely to me upon our next meeting."

Loren stared, open mouthed.

"Uh," said Nguyen, "You're... really good at that."

"Thank you," said GK. "Your praise is insignificant to me. Please have a safe trip."

[uzumaki-rebellion]

"Ruler of my heart

Robber of my soul

Where can you be?

I wait patiently

My heart cries out

Pain inside

Where can you be?

I wait patiently"

Irma Thomas—"Ruler of my Heart"

Celeste's smartphone vibrated on her nightstand at six in the morning. She rubbed her head. Her scarf had come undone during the night and her locs tangled around her arm and side. She reached down for the phone and shoved it against her hair.

"Hello?" she said.

"Celeste…I can't come to church with you today."

She sat up and rested her back against the headboard.

"Oh…okay…"

" Mémé s health aide called me—"

"Is everything alright?"

"No. She's not doing so well…took a turn for the worse during the night. I've been here since two this morning."

"Did they say what's wrong? She's never been seriously ill or anything since she's been there."

"They don't really know. She was weak and having a hard time breathing before I got here. They have her using an oxygen tank now and she's better. Maybe Mike's death was too much for her to take."

"I'll come right over if you want."

"No. Go to your church service."

"I have to be there for work at four. I can stop in to check on you two."

"That would be good. Thank you."

"See you soon."

She hung up and slid down to the floor, prostrating herself for prayer. She asked God and her patron saint, St. Mary, to watch over Miss Irma. Celeste climbed back into bed and listened to the world outside waking up after excessive partying. Even her cottage moaned and shifted with creaking noises at the rising sun. Bounding out of bed forty minutes before service, she washed her face and brushed her teeth, rolled deodorant under her pits while checking the news about the missing tourists. There were no new updates available.

The drive over to St. Augustine was unhurried, and she found parking close by. After ninety minutes, Celeste stepped outside the Parish Hall with a dark smudge of ash on her forehead. She checked her phone for any messages from Terry, but no notifications popped up.

Back at her cottage, she cooked a simple breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs. Her friends chirped all over the groupchat app, complaining of hangovers, sore legs, and going back to work. She informed them that Terry hadn't stayed over, and they commended her on not simping out. The hours dragged by before she dressed in her work uniform and tied up her hair.

She checked in with her supervisor Anne at work, asking about Miss Irma.

"How did you know about her condition?" Anne asked.

"I'm friends with her grandson, Terry."

"I didn't know that."

"Is he still here?"

"He's with her now. We've transitioned into hospice care for her. Bryan said she doesn't have long."

"Wait…what? She's dying?"

Anne's watery blue eyes held the routine of elderly death in them.

"Yes."

"How could she go downhill so fast?"

"It happens that way sometimes. Not every patient has a gradual decline. They can be perky and thriving one moment, and then…gone just like that."

Celeste walked to her work locker and put away her bag and keys. She looked at her shift schedule and got to work immediately. Ducking into an employee restroom after cleaning six rooms, she braced herself by staring at her face in the mirror. Death and dying were inevitable at the long-term facility. Lord knows she'd seen enough of it working there. Things shifted to another experience when it was someone she cared about. She treated Miss Irma like family, and it hurt to know she would transition so soon. Another prayer went up from her and she crossed herself in order to build up emotional reserves to remain professional.

Passing through the long hallway, she headed to Miss Irma's room.

Terry kept a bedside vigil, cradling his grandmother's hand. Celeste was glad that they administered oxygen through a nasal cannula instead of a full mask. A hospice nurse checked the oxygen flow in the tank next to the bed and left the room quickly.

"Hi," she said.

Terry looked up at her, his eyes bloodshot from a lack of sleep, and his forehead lined with stress. She moved around the bed to stand next to him. Miss Irma slept with labored breathing.

"How is she?"

Terry shook his head, and his eyes scrunched up. Celeste hugged him from the side and he buried his face against her stomach. He wept softly. She held him, rocking his body to ease his spirit.

"She's lived a long, happy life. I'm grateful for that…but I don't want her to leave me," he said.

Tears misted Celeste's vision and she willed them back down, keeping her composure for him. His breath passed through her work smock, warming up the skin on her stomach.

"I shouldn't have told her about my cousin. She didn't need to know about what happened to him yet. I could've lied to her and said he was too busy to visit."

"Lying isn't good."

"I should've waited for another time."

"Terry, don't blame yourself."

Miss Irma's eyes fluttered open. Celeste lowered her head to make eye contact.

"Hi Miss Irma," Celeste said.

"I'm so tired, Papa," Miss Irma said.

"Rest, Mémé…don't waste your energy trying to speak. I'm right here with you."

Celeste rubbed his shoulder and sang the first three stanzas of "I Need Thee" for Miss Irma in hushed tones. The older woman's agitation melted away. Her rheumy eyes held Celeste's gaze, and Terry patted his grandmother's feeble, blue-veined hand.

"I better get back to work and leave you some privacy," she said.

Terry stood up and hugged her, his bulky arms squeezing her close.

"Thank you for singing to her."

"I'll come by later during another round to check on y'all. Stay strong, hear?"

He nodded his head and sat back down.

Celeste hurried back to her busy schedule, cleaning and moving clients into the dining room for their evening meals. She marked off tasks as she completed them to keep her focus on working her eight hours. During her first break, she went outside to smoke against a side wall, wondering how Miss Irma was doing and how Terry held up. She called her mother and left a fussy message on her voicemail about Freddie.

Her cousin Pia sent her a link of Celeste dancing on a porch in a Mardi Gras compilation video along with images of Big Chief marching through their neighborhood. Returning to work, she led the finished diners back to their private rooms, or to the evening movie watch-party in the commons area.

She stopped in front of the doorway of Miss Irma's room. She cracked the door open and peeked inside. Terry held his head down near his grandmother's thigh. He slept soundly. Miss Irma's labored breathing became more pronounced and Celeste recognized the wet, gurgling noise with each exhaled breath released. Her time was near.

She reached down to close the door all the way and Miss Irma turned her head, lining her gaze with Celeste. Miss Irma's lips moved and Celeste couldn't hear what she said. She moved into the room quietly, trying not to wake Terry.

She bent over the bed to listen.

"Keep her," Miss Irma said, each word a strain on her breathing. "No matter what Papa says…no matter…what no one says…keep her."

She raised a weak hand and pointed toward her closet.

"The truth… is in there, child."

Terry shifted his head on the bed and opened weary eyes.

"Mémé?" he murmured.

"Oh, I do love you so…Papa," Miss Irma said.

He kissed his grandmother's cheek, and Miss Irma closed her eyes.

For good.

Terry's lips parted, but no sound came out, his grief so profound that vibrations in the air couldn't push out his pain of another loss. He held Miss Irma's hand and stared at her as if he could bring her back with a loving gaze.

"I'm truly all alone," he whispered.

Miss Irma's heart monitor alerted the medical staff and Celeste exited the room, blindly wandering in the opposite direction. She left the facility and cried against her car. Ten minutes later, she pulled it together again and walked back to Miss Irma's room.

The medical staff allowed Terry to sit with Miss Irma's deceased body for an hour. Celeste pulled up a chair and sat next to him in silence. Terry stared at Miss Irma with a damp face and a sorrowful mood.

"Even when you know it's coming, you're never prepared…not really. Ninety-nine years she walked this earth and loved me for every single one of them."

He closed his eyes and a single tear ran down his left cheek.

"I was so grateful to know her," she said.

Terry reached for Celeste's hand and held it on his thigh.

"You were a light in her lonely days while I was away. I can never repay you for the care and love you've shown her the last year of her life."

Anne knocked on the door softly and entered. Celeste knew she had forms prepared for Terry to sign, and two hospice workers waited outside to take Miss Irma away.

"I have to go back to work, but later…tonight, you're welcome to stay with me."

He wiped his face and nodded.

Walking away from Miss Irma and Terry was the most difficult thing to do, but she had to let him deal with the aftercare of the deceased on his own.

Terry cremated Miss Irma's remains.

That surprised Celeste even though Catholics didn't forbid cremation. They had guidelines stating that remains had to be buried in a consecrated place, but an older Catholic like Miss Irma typically preferred a traditional burial with the body kept intact for Resurrection Day. Terry didn't act very religious and sorted out his grandmother's affairs according to her will. Miss Irma had a pre-paid burial package at a local crematorium. Three days after her death, Celeste stood with Terry at the St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 columbarium in the serenity garden. He interred Miss Irma with his cousin Mike and refused to have any kind of service.

Her friends started worrying about how closely she attached herself to Terry, isolating herself more and more from family and associates. She blew them off, wanting to enjoy his company without their interference. The only downside to their relationship was that Celeste dreaded going to work at the elder care facility and the chicken plant. It meant less time spent with him. His bereavement lasted five days, and she traded shifts here and there and called in sick to the chicken plant to make the most of the hours alone with him.

She cooked low sodium soups for him and brewed lots of tea, insisting that he eat and take in liquids despite his grief. He obliged her. They watched lots of movies and held each other in bed at night. He liked to rest his head on her chest while she hummed and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

She played the piano for him often at sunset, keeping her French doors open so the music drifted outside as the evening breeze cooled down her cottage. Most of her repertoire consisted of gospel hymns or classical arias. As a child, her voice lessons focused on singing classical music and downplaying secular music. Her parents dreamed of her being an opera star. Their greatest disappointment in her musical gifts was the day she dropped out of Tulane University's prestigious Newcomb Department of Music in her junior year. She'd lost sight of what path to take in school and dropped out in frustration. Playing piano and singing were things she enjoyed as a hobby, not a career choice.

Watching Terry shut those gorgeous eyes while she sang "Adoramus Te Christe" thrilled her to the bone. He appreciated her talent, especially the way she could sound down home with all her gospel runs, but then turn around, striking the keys with a fiery piano rendition of German composer Carl Orff's "O Fortuna". She tickled the ivory stirring up playful riffs imitating Professor Longhair and Alan Toussaint. Serenading him with her version of "Ruler of my Heart", Celeste adored the way Terry drank in every sung word, gifting her with his unwavering attention. Music was in the blood of her family, the heart of New Orleans. What was the city without its music? Without Black folks? She poured out her love for New Orleans, her people…and him, through her talented fingers dancing across the keys.

He could never keep his hands off her throughout their time together.

Sometimes he liked to play with her locs absentmindedly while she rested her head on his lap, listening to love songs on her sound system. He'd fondle her breasts, plucking and pinching her nipples at unexpected times, forcing her to take off her shirt and unfasten her bra so he could suck on her tits. She loved getting on her knees and stuffing his dick between her breasts. Titty fucking brought out the beast in him. Nothing was sexier than his eyes narrowing into half slits, watching her soft, ample breasts rub up and down his shaft, his slit dripping copious amounts of sticky fluid. She'd stick the tip of tongue deep into his slit and he'd groan, the rumble in his chest turning her on.

They spent a whole afternoon like that, titty fucking while she was down on her knees, then switching to her reclining on the sectional with him straddling her waist, using his big hands to squeeze her tits while he humped that battering ram between her cleavage like it was her pussy.

She'd squeal when he nutted all over her nipples, then he'd keep stroking his dick until he shot a heavy load on her face next. He'd smear the cum around and make her lick it off his fingers, all the while telling her she was amazing. Her plump tits looked like two big ole pound cakes covered in glazed icing by the time he started jerking off again, aroused beyond measure by her appearance soaked in his creamy white jizz. He repeated this over and over until he shot hot ropes all over her lips and open mouth. His stamina was unreal.

Still covered in semen, he'd flip Celeste over onto his knees and spank her, building up her pain tolerance over a session, and then rub her ass cheeks with those massive palms to soothe the scorching heat his hand strikes left on her backside. Their safe word never had to be used, because he instinctively knew when Celeste reached her limit. She gave herself willingly to him, sucking his dick and balls whenever he needed tender-loving care. Her head bobbing in his lap giving loud sloppy toppy became ritual. He gave as much as he took from her. Reciprocity was his middle name, and he kept his face buried between her legs twice a day.

Bouncing on that big dick became another favorite pastime in the evenings. He'd glue his mouth to her ear and tell her in crude language with throaty groans how much of a good girl she was for taking all of his dick in her tight snatch. She became delirious when he lifted her up and down on his erection, as if she had no weight at all. He stood up and really showed off by arm-curling her on and off his length in the air, her thighs spread across his biceps. They went through two bottles of lube fast… and so many orgasms.

Occasionally they untangled their limbs, and got out of the house to walk to the French Market for fresh air and non-sexual exercise. They picked out interesting arts and crafts, bought pralines, visited Congo Square and checked in with her older cousin who ran the Backstreet Cultural Museum that highlighted Mardi Gras Indian history. Terry walked by her side carrying shopping bags home like they were a regular long-time couple. He came back to himself, being with her. That's what he told her. Celeste's heart grew brave, and she admitted to herself that she was falling in love. The embers of romantic love sparked and burned into a steady glowing orange flame, and each day she added a bit more kindling, keeping the hearth of eros warm in her heart. Terry's affections grew even more pronounced and his actions hinted he felt the same way about her. He took care of her, paying for everything while he stayed with Celeste, even covering her light and gas bill. His mourning period blossomed into courtship.

A week after interring his relatives, Terry asked to do something with her.

"Let me videotape you."

"You really wanted that directing gig, huh?" she teased.

He gently pushed her leg to get her off the couch.

"Set up your camera and ring lights…right on the floor again," he said. "Wear the burgundy bra and panties. Throw on your six-inch heels…bring me the binding rope, too."

Celeste set about gathering her equipment and dressed the way he wanted. He stuck the dildo on the floor and adjusted the lighting to a natural setting that mimicked warm outdoor light. She pulled her carnival mask over her eyes. The only make-up she used was a pink lip gloss.

She stood before him and handed over the red satin binding rope. He tied her upper body carefully, creating a line of small knots along her spine, and bound her arms together, pressed into her chest.

"Comfortable? Not too tight?" he asked, mindful of not stopping her circulation.

"I'm good," she said.

His gaze dusted across her form, approving of the physical masterpiece waiting to do his bidding. Freddie used to pester her about letting him handcuff her to their bed a lifetime ago and she always refused, uncomfortable with being hooked to a headboard.

Look at her now. Tied up by a man she hadn't known a mere two weeks ago.

Terry ran his large hand down her side, testing the bondage rope and stroking her skin. He frowned and shook his head, undoing the rope quickly.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Take the underwear off. Your skin looks better with the rope by itself," he insisted.

She pulled off her bra and shimmied out of her panties with his help keeping her balance. He tied the rope again, but this time he placed various knots on her erogenous zones, nipples, and clit. The unused length of rope he turned into a leash knotted loosely at the front of her throat. He held the leash in his hand, turning her into his sexual pet. She liked that her arms were free, even though he was in control of her movement.

The emerald coloring of his eyes became alluring sirens. They matched his inviting lips and aroused her all over. Every time she moved, a knotted portion of the rope rubbed, tugged, or created friction on her sensitive parts. Especially her clit. Terry licked his fingers and pushed a small knot into that swelling jewel.

"Sticky already," he said, licking his fingers. "My little nasty girl."

His voice sounded deeper…hungry. Her pussy started purring then. He tugged on the rope resting on both sides of her vulva and she whimpered. The friction there felt exquisite on her soft, plump outer labia. He left just enough space for her opening to remain available for his use.

"How did I get so lucky to find you, Celeste?"

She pressed her eyes shut. The vibration of his voice teased the skin on her neck. He kissed her throat and licked a favorite spot that he always buried his teeth in when he came inside of her. The bruising on her neck, under her breasts, and on her left thigh never went away completely. Those times he did bite her—and he bit often—brought on a high better than smoking weed. He'd bite, suck at the skin like he was giving a hickey, and she'd float into a cosmic orgasm every time.

He moved his lips to her chin and kissed her there, his tongue tracing circular swirls until he reached her ear.

"I want you to ride that dildo like you're riding me. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

He kissed her and pried her lips apart with his tongue, darting inside her mouth with an ardor that overwhelmed her ability to stay in the present. Her mind flew away into the future, dreaming of romance and building a life with him. Pure fantasy.

He pulled away from her lips and held her trembling body.

"Crying? Why, baby?" he asked.

She shook her head, and he hugged her.

"Should we stop this?" he breathed.

"No. I can do it."

"Are you sure? Have I done something to upset you?"

"No…I'm happy. I want this…I want you…"

He grinned so hard that his gums showed, looking like a little kid who won first prize at a Spelling Bee. Did he smile at his wife that way when she was alive? Celeste thought about that woman more and more. Could Terry love her enough to want to wife her up one day?

He stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand.

"I love you," he said.

Celeste's heart imploded.

Her knees quaked, and he held her against him with a beatific smile on his gorgeous face.

"Do you feel the same about me?"

Celeste threw her arms around his neck, and he lifted her onto her toes. He chuckled and pressed his forehead against hers.

So fast…it all came about so fast that Celeste wasn't sure that she hadn't made up the encounter or the words that came out of his divine lips.

He loved her. Truly, madly, profoundly.

They kissed again, their tongues sliding into sweet configurations, each one of them trying to show the other the depth of their feelings. Celeste even thanked Freddie in her heart for showing his ass and removing himself from her life to make way for this light-eyed prince who swept her off her feet literally.

Terry spun around with her in his arms and she laughed, feeling dizzy from the rush of love confessions.

He checked the camera settings to record her, and Celeste crouched over the lubed up dildo in her high heels and knotted rope binding.

"Show me how much you love me," Terry said.

His eyes took on a deadly seriousness and Celeste shook her hips and reached down to her toes, displaying her wide open labia. Her pussy twitched in anticipation of penetration, and Terry groaned behind the camera.

"That's it, Celeste…baby that pussy is glistening."

She rolled her hips and lowered her body down to the floor, crouched on her heels, and rested her vulva against the tip of the jet black dildo. The toy was flexible and bent at an angle to help her control how deep it went. Patting her labia, she fingered herself, playing for the camera and him.

"Right there baby, hold it…"

She squeezed her vaginal muscles, letting her opening wink open and closed for him. Glancing over her shoulder, she watched Terry tug on his dick through his gray sweatpants. He already had a tent pitched there and his pre-cum stained a visible quarter-sized wet spot.

"Slide down on that shit," he commanded.

His voice echoed in her ears, and she obeyed.

Up and down she went. The dildo spread her pussy lips apart and her tight opening choked it with loud squelching noises. Terry's eyes volleyed back and forth from the laptop on the coffee table and the camera lens he recorded from. He held the leash end of the bondage rope and it gave the appearance of the viewer controlling Celeste's body. She wound her hips and slid on and off the dildo, riding the tip, constantly looking over her shoulder, her mask creating the mystery ultra-fuck experience that her viewers paid to see. She turned around to face the camera, using her strong knees to rock forward and back on the fake dick. Terry pulled on the rope, forcing her head up.

"Got that dick creamy, baby," he said.

Celeste slapped her vulva and looked at how frothy she made the dildo. She fucked it like it was Terry's fat dick. He stopped looking at the camera view screen and watched her fuck with gushy pussy live. Celeste became wet enough to start making splashing noises each time she dropped down on the dildo. The knots in the rope spurned her on, their friction on her nipples and clit leading her to a dangerous precipice.

Terry pulled down his sweatpants just enough to release a massive erection that he stroked above her with delicious erotic skill. It looked so fat and juicy. Her mouth watered and her pussy contracted after a long stream of pre-cum spilled out of his tip and fell onto her thigh. Celeste pressed into her clit with the rope knot, and an unhurried orgasm rippled in surging waves along her outer labia, causing her to squirt all over the floor. She'd never done that before. Terry's dick started spitting cum after her release, and his semen rained down on Celeste, covering the satin rope in wet, messy splashes. Her lover's eyes burned with lust and he pulled her onto her feet by the leash.

Spinning her around, he penetrated her standing up, bending her forward and yanking on her locs. Gripping her throat, he pummeled her cheeks, sinking that thick heat deep into her until his balls slapped against her ass. It wasn't enough for him.

Tossing her over his shoulder, he carried her into the bedroom and dropped her onto the bed. He entered her again with one thrust and she gasped at the sensation of fullness.

"Tell me you love me," he begged.

The earnestness in his tone shocked Celeste. He needed verbal reassurance from her that he wasn't alone in the sentiment.

"I love you, Terry."

"Say it again…again…again…baby…"

He loved on her like she'd never been loved on before. Pure. Gentle. Real.

"Fuck me…yes…I feel you squeezing me, shit…don't stop…damn, girl! Damn, Celeste…fucking this dick…keep fucking me…ooh shiiiiit!"

Terry stopped short of cumming and untied her. He rubbed the indentation marks on her skin, kissing each one until satisfied that he soothed them all.

"Feeling okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

He lowered his head to suck on her nipples. She rubbed on his hair and he tended to her breasts like it was his first time playing with them.

His large physique covered her in muscles, sweat, and even tears. He kept his watery eyes on her face, and they repeatedly told one another, "I love you."

It had to be real.

His dick stretched her pussy in ownership. She pointed her toes at the ceiling and gripped his wide back, her nails digging into his sweaty flesh, breaking skin. He cried out her name, and that alone triggered her pussy to spasm and send tight contractions along the length of his dick. The orgasm that curled her toes came deep within, down in the bottom of her pussy where his dick rested. Celeste's eyes rolled back. He plunged his teeth into the side of her neck, sucking with those full lips and greedy tongue. His dick swelled and pumped warm cum into her. Thrashing her head about, she couldn't get over how he wrecked her walls. He spilled deep into her womb and she wept, her pussy still throbbing around him.

Celeste could've died happy in that moment. Cumming on the dick of the man she loved…and who loved her back…priceless.

"I love you…I love you…I love you," he said over and over until she passed out.

Heavy raindrops.

Celeste made coffee for herself and Terry in her kitchen. Her faded light blue house dress looked just as gloomy as the weather outside. She poured the liquid into mugs full of cream and sugar, stirring them with a spoon before carrying them out into her living room.

Terry peered at the courtyard through the French doors. The curtains were drawn back so they could watch water falling from the sky.

"Doesn't look like it'll clear up today," she said, watching him.

He didn't acknowledge her right away, just stared up at the darkening clouds.

He'd been with her for an additional week and his mood had changed. Their interactions and lovemaking remained top notch, but his mind seemed preoccupied with something outside of her.

He was afraid of something.

On their outings he walked like a man dodging trouble, preferring to avoid crowds and always looking over his shoulder. He gave her money to buy food alone and holed up in her house like a shut-in. She questioned him about his behavior and he claimed to not be feeling well. Spooked and nervous, Terry became a different person and no amount of cajoling from her made him open up about it.

She handed him a mug and he turned to look at her.

"I think it'll rain all week," he said.

She walked over to the sectional and sat down, sipping her coffee and dreading going to work at the chicken plant in a few hours. Terry sighed and drank from his mug.

Celeste moved over to the piano to play him something comforting, but the first chord she struck on a piano key didn't sound right.

Terry's somber eyes looked gray in the distance between them.

"I have to go back home, check on the restaurant with my business partner. I've been away too long and I have responsibilities there," he said.

She nodded in understanding, swallowing the lump that grew in her throat.

"Will you be able to come back and see me?" she asked.

"Not for a while, Celeste."

"I get it. You had a life before you came here. I can't expect you to stay forever."

"Baby, don't cry…"

Celeste covered her face with her left hand. Terry sat down next to her on the piano bench.

"Hey…hey…" he said.

He hugged her, and she cried into his neck. The man had proved that there was love after love, and she wished she could relive every moment she spent with him. She sensed deep down that he didn't want to leave...but had to. If a man couldn't tell her the truth about why he wanted to go away, she was smart enough to let him leave. He told her once he had issues in the past being in New Orleans. Maybe it was some old gangster shit and he had to get outta Dodge fast. Whatever it was, she wasn't going to get involved.

Celeste rested her head against his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat and remember it. The rain outside did the rest of the crying for her.

Chapter 9 HERE.

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[hermajestyimher]

Hello <3

I am currently 20, in the process of enhancing every aspect of my life so I would really appreciate if you could generously list your resources for self-improvement in general.

And one more question, how to make people take me more seriously? I am quite the youngest member in my family and everyone have always been so over-protective of me that they always see me as this little girl even though I am almost a grown woman lol.

Thanks!

Thanks for your question. I commend you for wanting to invest in yourself and self-improvement.

The resources I use to shape my mindset toward success are a mixture of books, podcasts, subliminals, and direct revelation from God. I'll break these parts down for you:

✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞

Books:

There are a lot of books out that deal with the topic of self-improvement and you are almost guaranteed to find some that will be able to help you in whichever area of your life you wish to get better at. The key, when it comes to these books, is that you have to find ones that you know you can action realistically in your life. Theory can be energizing and inspirational, but it is ultimately futile if you are unable to put the gained knowledge into reality.

You must seek books that are practical in their way of describing how to succeed in whatever subject they touch upon and focus exclusively on that specific book so that you may action its commands and see real results in your life.

I'll give you 5 books that I've used throughout the year that have helped me mold my character in meaningful and practical ways:

She Comes First, by Brian Nox.

Can't Hurt Me, by David Goggins.

The Alter Ego Effect, by Todd Herman.

Stop People Pleasing, by Patrick King.

Fabulosity, by Kimora Lee Simmons.

Podcasts:

Podcasts are a good way of keeping your mind "fed" constantly with content and knowledge from others. I use them not just for knowledge, but also for entertainment. I enjoy podcasts that deal with politics, human psychology and behavior, societal phenomena, travel and culture, business, success life stories, and even some niche topics of interest.

Whatever podcasts you choose to listen to will be a very personal choice. My rule of thumb is to not waste time listening to someone just because they seem authoritative in the field of self-improvement if the messages they are putting forward do not resonate with you. It's ok to be picky with this type of content.

Subliminals:

This is something that I've never touched upon before directly on my blog, but it is something that I've been digging into a lot lately and I've found has been positively impacting my life.

Subliminals are audio messages that we play in the background while we do other activities. The concept behind them is that our subconscious mind can pick up and internalize the messages being played and therefore can help in reprogramming our own internal self-concept and beliefs. It can help you manifest things because you genuinely believe that they are possible for you, rather than pretending.

Subliminals are extremely powerful because if utilized correctly they can help you shape your entire personality and perception of yourself towards one that is more self-loving, positive, and confident. It can help us erase the damage of harmful things we've internalized throughout the years and replace them with thoughts that are working in our favor.

If you or anyone else from the blog would like for me to dive deeper into this subject and share some of the subliminal that have helped me (including my own creations), please let me know!

God:

This part is simply all about having communion with God. I've found out that in the periods that I'm away from him and that I do not take our relationship seriously, I become an easier target for spiritual attacks and also less in tune with my spiritual gifts. It's hard to hear from him when my spiritual life is filled with so much baggage that does not come from him. And whether you are aware of it, everything around us is spiritual in one way or another: the music that we listen to, the people we spend time with, the places we live, the content we consume, the things we allow others to speak into our lives, etc.

It's important that I read my Bible, pray, and worship without ceasing. God purifies our spirits and removes bondages this way. He gives us a renewed mind full of discernment and peace. We can hear from him more clearly and be led through a path of prosperity.

This is something that I need to get back on with him, as I have fallen off throughout the years. But understanding that you do not have to make life alone and that investing in your spiritual life can only tenfold your riches in the physical realm is crucial for us to live a life of purpose and success.

✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞

I hope this list was helpful, and if you or other people would like to delve deeper into any of these or other subjects, please let me know.

[moonlightspencie]

like the gardens of babylon

part 11 of ‘the sweetest con’

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: some suggestive content at the end, but nothing explicit!

Walking into the bullpen had never felt so nerve-wracking. Usually, if I felt any anxieties at all, it had to do with a case. Or at least work. As it should, considering this was my workplace, after all.

But, this time, all the nerves stemmed from my concerns that word would get out before I had the chance to address it all myself. After JJ had seen us kiss last week, every day felt like a new opportunity for everyone to find out. Each day only got worse. Any time someone looked at me for too long, I started sweating a little.

But, of course, my darling girl couldn’t care less. She was convinced that JJ wouldn’t say a word, and I had to commend her faith in our friends. I, however, knew that the thrill of a scandal could break down even the strongest barriers on our team. Especially when it came to all of our love lives.

As much as I love my team, I knew they weren’t always the most… discreet.

I could see the lingering looks from JJ anytime Y/N snuck into my office for our usual lunchtime “date”. It felt like a matter of time before it escalated.

And escalate it did.

I snuck out of my office after lunch that afternoon only to see a few pairs of eyes on me, and a lot of whispering. I narrowed my eyes at Derek, Penelope, and Y/N.

“Something you’d like to share?” I asked, noticing they didn’t look away when I’d caught them.

“No—”

Penelope cut Y/N off. “Teasing our little ray of sunshine, here.”

I merely raised my brows in question, making quick eye contact with the aforementioned “ray of sunshine.” She looked at me with pleading eyes, though I couldn’t quite decipher what she was trying to ask of me.

“It’s nothing, Hotch,” she shook her head.

“Nothing?” Morgan questioned. “Mmm mm. Lies.”

“What is it, then?”

Morgan smirked. “Something goin’ on with you two that you’d like to share?”

I froze up, though I tried playing it off. I hoped it was convincing enough.

“Like what, exactly?”

Penelope blushed. “We were merely asking her if your little daily lunch dates meant anything.”

I looked at Y/N briefly. Apparently, that was a mistake. Derek stood abruptly, closing in on me.

“Wait, seriously?” he turned to look at Y/N, who looked, frankly, like she’d been caught red-handed. “Seriously?”

“Oh my god—” Garcia squealed.

I’m sure my face going red didn’t help our case as I asked the two of them to keep it down. Y/N stood, standing next to me as I attempted to fend off questions from the other two.

“Guys,” she raised her hands to calm them. “This is still kind of new. We weren’t really ready to tell anyone yet, so…”

“Oh,” Penelope said, her voice lowered.

“Just please don’t tell anyone else. For our sake.”

“Sure thing, mama,” Derek said, nodding.

Penelope smiled softly. “Wouldn’t dream of trying to ruin this. I am so, absolutely excited, but I promise I will zip my lips just for you, sugar.”

“Thanks, Pen,” she smiled back at her.

She looked at me, looking a little apologetic. I gave her a raised brow and half a smile.

“Sorry. I thought we’d be able to keep this secret a little while longer,” she said quietly.

“Not your fault. I think we’re both pretty bad at hiding our feelings,” I sighed. Then, I looked at the others. “Thank you for your… Discretion with this. We’ll tell the others soon, we just wanted to keep this—”

“Yours?” Morgan asked, practically finishing my sentence.

“Yeah,” I nodded once. “Exactly.”

He smirked. “Can’t blame you for wanting to keep her all to yourself. I can respect that.”

I rolled my eyes, hiding a smile. “Right. Well, I need coffee if I’m going to get through the rest of today.”

They nodded, waving me off. I let out a deep breath as I turned. Three coworkers knew already, and I wondered how long we could actually keep things quiet before I had to come clean with everyone.

Though, after that conversation, part of me couldn’t wait to finally show her off as mine.

I got my coffee, heading back to my office to get through all of the work I had set aside for the day. It passed incredibly slowly. Her sweet face in my doorway at the end of the day made up for it, though.

I sat up a little straighter, an unintentional smile on my face.

“Hi,” I greeted.

“Hey. Getting late,” she said. “We’re picking up Jack in an hour, so pack it up, love.”

I snorted a laugh. She walked in, shutting the door behind her. I packed up as she had requested, standing to accept a soft kiss from her near the edge of my desk.

“He’s been asking about you, you know?” I said.

She smiled, still holding onto my waist in a hug. She pressed a small kiss to my cheek.

“Yeah?”

I hummed an affirmation. “Every night I’ve talked to him since we went to the zoo. He’s been looking forward to tonight.”

She smiled, and my heart warmed. “Let’s go get him then, yeah?”

We left the building, heading off to my apartment. I put away my things, and we both quickly changed clothes before getting in my car and heading to Haley’s. Of course, she stayed in the car when I went to get Jack, though I’d be surprised if she couldn’t still see the dirty looks being shot at her from the front door.

I ignored the hostility, too wrapped up in the plans we’d made for the night to care too much about Haley’s attitude. Jack practically squealed when he saw Y/N in the car, shooting a million questions at her the entire ride back the apartment. One in particular had me smiling like an idiot:

“Are you and daddy gonna get married?”

She laughed a little. “I don’t know buddy. We’ll have to wait and see, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

She looked at me, almost panicked by the question, but it only made my heart flutter in my chest. I knew it was probably far too soon to consider marriage, but I didn’t hate the idea of it happening some day. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea.

Our night was spent in front of the TV, snacks and drinks set on the coffee table, all of us sat in a pile of pillows and couch cushions at Jack’s request. As much as I’d like to say that I set most of it up, it seemed that no matter what I tried to do, she’d get to it first. I would have been offended if she wasn’t so excited to do everything she was doing.

Jack cuddled up to my side for a while as we watched the tail end of Monsters Inc. My arm was around his tiny shoulders, but soon I felt him shrugging me off. I looked down in confusion as he started leaning into Y/N instead, leaving me in the dust. I furrowed my brow, looking at her with offense.

“You stole my child.”

“Maybe he just likes the girl who gave him candy a little more than the dad who tried giving him pretzels.”

Jack giggled, rest his head against her arm. I tried to look annoyed, but it was hard to do with this sight right in front of me. My previous worries about them being together seemed so stupid now. Of course he’d love her.

“Still,” I raised a brow in challenge. “He was mine first.”

“Still love you, daddy,” he said, giving me a cheeky smile.

I couldn’t hold back my grin. “I love you more.”

He was out like a light by the time the credits were rolling, and she allowed me to take him to his bedroom and tuck him in. I kissed his forehead, wishing all my nights could end like this.

I wandered back into the living room to find her already cleaning up.

“Babe, I can worry about that tomorrow.”

“Babe, huh?” she smirked.

I felt my cheeks heat up. “Just… Shut up.”

She laughed. “You know, I can help pick up the mess I made, babe.”

I sighed, rolling my eyes for good measure. I followed her into the kitchen with two cups in my hands as she took care of a few other dishes. However, I set mine down quickly, plans on my mind that had nothing to do with cleaning.

I wrapped my arms around her waist from where she stood at the sink, pressing a few soft kisses up her neck until my lips were at her ear.

“Why don’t we go to bed?”

“Aaron,” she warned, though the way she leaned into me made that warning much less severe.

“I’ve missed you.”

“You see me every day.”

I groaned, turning her around. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

She bit her lip. “You’re ridiculous.”

I smirked, leaning in before she could think too hard about my plan of… Redirection. Her lips met mine as if it was her plan all along, kissing me softly, but not without passion. Her hands trailed up my arms until they were linking behind my neck. I took that as my chance.

I patted her hip, and she jumped into my arms. I hooked my arms under her, carrying her to the bedroom and dropping her on the bed unceremoniously. She looked at me with that little mischievous glint in her eyes as I pulled off my tshirt. I crawled up over her on the bed, though she quickly pulled me down on top of her.

“You’re a troublemaker,” she mumbled, kissing my neck.

“I think you like it that way.”

“Never said I didn’t.”

She nipped at my skin, moving her lips back to mine. My hands found their way under her shirt as we moved up towards the headboard. Her back arched into my touch, exciting me all the more as her hands ran all over me.

“Just promise me one thing?”

I nodded. “Anything.”

She pulled off her top, tossing it somewhere. “Don’t be too loud or you’ll wake up Jack.“

I scoffed a laugh as she smirked again, flipping us over so that she was on top of me.

“Sure,” she said, looking down at me. “Go ahead and laugh like didn’t nearly wake the whole building last time.”

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

If it weren’t a bother, i request 📖🥰🔞💻 :)

Thank you, you do not need to hurry!

Business Merger - Kurt Goreshter/Reader

Warnings: If you aren't in love with Kurt yet this might make you be cause oh my god I love him so much, gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, light grinding, oral, slight handjobs and fingering as prep, smut, pillowtalk /)w(\

Wordcount: 5337

Summary: You hated blind dates. Everyone knew this about you. So when your longtime friend claims to have gotten you a date with the hot guy on TV you don't know whether to hit her or kiss her, maybe by Friday you'll be able to tell.

Notes: My first fic with Kurt 💗🥰💗 I love him so much, I was giggling and kicking my feet as I tried to write as much of this at work as I could /)w(\ I also took so long you had a birthday, so ayyy happy birthday! I almost didn't write this one since I felt uncomfortable filling a smut request for a minor, but it all evened out naturally, and I see you in my notes all the time, so thank you so much for the request and I hope you like it 💗💗💗

You'd never been one for blind dates, for starters. Everyone knew this about you, how you preferred to get to know someone first before doing anything like meeting them, but when your longtime friend and co-worker briskly walked up to you that morning you knew you were in for trouble without even needing to know the reason.

‘How'd the merger go?’ you asked the moment she opened her mouth, but your attempts at saving yourself from whatever she had to say would not dissuade her today.

‘Potential merger, and that's precisely what I wanted to talk to you about,’ she told you excitedly; great, you'd walked right into it. ‘Y'know how we all thought they were small-time and this would be an easy buy?’ You did very much so, it was the talk of the office all week, one more small startup swallowed up by the big boys upstairs. ‘Well it turns out that they're the ones who stopped those guys last weekend! Y'know, the ones on TV who got interviewed when Ant-Man was splashing around the bay!’

‘Oh shit, that's who they were?’ You'd watched that report live, fascinated by the explosion on your feed about how one of the rogue heroes who fought alongside Captain America himself was now making an appearance after two years.

‘Yes! They still showed up for the merger, even after all that, and, get this, Harland doesn't even want to take them over anymore, he wants to make them affiliates! They're gunna have a floor here come August!’ She was clearly excited, with how hyperactive she got over normal things it must've been difficult for her to keep her composure while it was all going on, and you felt the need to commend her when she continued and stunned you silent. ‘But that's not the best part; a few of us got to talk with the guys afterwards over dinner, and guess who's got a date for Friday Night.’

‘Hmmm… is it you?’ You raised an eyebrow at her, she was always the one to get the dates growing up since she tended to outshine everyone in the group no matter who you were with, but she just shook her head and bit her lip with a wide grin.

‘Nope,’ she practically vibrated, that feeling that you were in trouble arising again seconds before: ‘It's you! We started talking about some other people from around the office and I brought you up and one of them thought you sounded nice, so you're meeting him in four days!’

You were stunned. You were genuinely, honest to God stunned. She'd known you practically all your life. She was basically an honourary sister to your family at this point. And she still went against your one rule against blind dates and with a local celebrity no less.

‘You're too happy to speak, I knew you would be, it's been a while since the last one, yeah? Don't worry, he might be a little eccentric but he was very nice, I almost asked him out myself, but I figured you might be a better match for him.’

You didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted, at least this date would be with a superhero, that would make for an interesting conversation starter at least. ‘Okay, well, I think I can handle a date with Ant-Man, yeah, that might be doable-’

‘What? Oh, no, your date is with his friend, the hot one with the hand tats.’ Again you were stunned silent, a deep blush spreading over your cheeks in not only remembrance of the man in question and how he was indeed hot, but also because you had no idea how you were going to pull off this not-so-blind-date with someone you knew nothing about other than that your boss almost bought him out. ‘I knew you'd be excited, you're so red- okay okay, so here's the address, it's that nice place over by that coffee shop we like, you know the one, he said he'll be waiting outside so you can go in together so do not be late, do you need me to write all this down, actually? Lemme grab a pen-’

Oh yeah, you were definitely in trouble.

The rest of the week went by in a blur, your thoughts on what the hell you were going to wear to this fancy as hell restaurant he'd picked out and what the hell you'd even say to him. You knew nothing about him other than the basics, that he was Russian thanks to the interview, that he was good with computers and worked with security thanks to your job wanting to buyout his, and apparently that he'd been in jail for five years thanks to the whispered word around the office. All four of them had, including Ant-Man himself which was incredibly interesting, but you'd never even stolen candy from the shop down the street when you were a kid, what were you going to have in common with this guy?

You were decent with computers, but that was only because you liked video games, and you were pretty sure this hardened criminal turned security expert (which now made sense to you) wasn't going to talk to you about the latest mobile games that were advertised to you no matter where you looked. This was why you hated blind dates, all of this was too stressful, everything you planned beforehand was just bouncing back to you as a negative, he wouldn't care, this was going to end in disaster. Hell, maybe the date would go so bad he'd convince the others to not accept the affiliation and they'd find someone else to partner with; you'd definitely be fired for that one, your entire job and livelihood were now on the line thanks to this date, if you didn't impress this guy you could lose it all-

You felt sick to your stomach as you called a cab to the restaurant, your outfit pristine and overly expensive as to impress him, your hair neatly styled and making you look sophisticated, and your stomach so upset that every bump in the road was about to make you ruin the upholstery.

There were already cars lined up outside, the valet taking their keys and switching out with the woman behind him, and you realized that a cab was not the right move to impress as the rich people outside looked down their noses at you. You resisted the urge to look down back at them if only to save the little you had for lunch as you stepped out, your hands clasping together as you nervously scanned the crowd for his somewhat familiar face.

You turned when you heard your name, your cab driving off and revealing the man jogging across the street to stand with you, and your face lit up at the sight of him; his hair was impeccably styled just as it was in the interview, which you definitely hadn’t watched about 50 times for any hint of what to say, and while he did wear a suit he also wore a leather jacket overtop, the collar upturned and making him still look a bit different than the people around you. You couldn't help but stare as he approached, his smile nervous but very excited as he gently grabbed you by the shoulders and kissed both of your cheeks. 

‘I’m Kurt, from the meeting; is nice to meet you, your friend, the loud one with expressive eyes, she show me photo on the phone,’ he explained as his right hand remained on you, and it took you a moment to realize how tall he actually was when he stepped up onto the curb with you. ‘Reservation is for hour from now, I wish to know you better before we settle on whether to proceed with dinner or no, your friend said you would like that more than the “blind date,” as she called it.’

You made a mental note to buy her lunch as you nodded, the people around you staring at him as they tried to figure out if he was dangerous or not between the jacket and the heavy accent and the tattoos, and you felt protective as you took his hand and started off down the street.

‘Did you have anything in mind?’ you asked as you walked, and he looked around before pointing to the café you liked, your steps hurrying in excitement even though you were going to have dinner later.

‘Coffee?’ he just asked, and you nodded as you walked inside, dressed to the nines, and grabbed a table by the window. He pulled out your chair for you before sitting down across from you, the baristas who were already very familiar with you but not your date whispering behind the counter, you saw out of the corner of your eye. ‘Is nice place, I see as I head to work but never been inside,’ he thought as he looked around, his jacket now on the back of his chair and only making him look all the more dressed up without it.

‘Yeah, I come here almost every day, it's my favourite place,’ you said as you gazed upon the familiar decor, the smell of coffee and the sandwiches they made mixing perfectly with the donuts and other treats, your stomach growling as it eagerly waited for you to get your usual. ‘So, uh… what do… I mean I already know what you do for work, and I guess you know what I do? So um, what else do-?’ You were floundering, you were going to going to blow it, you were going to lose your apartment-

‘Forgiving me if I might be making you nervous? Your friend did saying you were preferring to talk beforehand, but when I heard about you…’ You instantly calmed as your expression softened, he was looking at you so genuinely as he rested his arms on the table, was… was he nervous? ‘You're looking so stunning tonight, your picture, it did not do you justice.’

You didn't realize your mouth was a little agape until you snapped it shut again, and when he smiled at you it was almost apologetic.

‘Sorry, is been a while for me, have I offended you?’ he then asked in response to your silence, and you were quick to sit forward and reach for his hand to make sure he stayed where he was.

‘No, no it's not that, it's just… it's been a while for me, too,’ you admitted to him, and he just smiled again before looking a bit more relaxed.

‘Good evening, may I take your order?’ The barista, Moina, someone who definitely did not have Waitress as part of her job, had approached while you were distracted, and you hid your face from her as he looked impressed with the service.

‘No, we're just talking before dinner,’ you tried to say, but your stomach growled again as Moina tapped her pen against her notepad with a smirk.

‘I'll bring you your usual, is there anything you would like, Mr….?’

‘Goreshter,’ he answered, the name sounding so good when said by him that it made you want to hear more. ‘Do you have the menu for to look over?’

‘She's not a waitress, she's just nosy,’ you revealed, and he nodded in understanding. ‘I guess one donut can't hurt our appetites too much.’ You stood together, Moina hurrying back to prepare your coffee while her co-worker eagerly awaited the gossip before the two of you walked over and instantly made her stop. He admired everything in the display cases, the large array of coffee ignored as he eyed up the pastries instead. You had been kidding, there was no way you'd fill up on sweets before what was going to be a painfully expensive dinner, but he didn't hold back as he motioned for someone to come over.

‘I'll be taking two of these,’ he told Moina as he pointed to the red-filled danishes on display, and she nodded as she got out two and placed them on some small plates on the counter. ‘Black coffee, also.’ His order was ready the same time yours was thanks to its simplicity, and you got out your wallet to pay for your own coffee when he held out his hand. ‘No paying, not when we're still on date,’ he just said, and you could only nod as he paid for yours as well and escorted you back to your table. You sat down and went to take a sip when he pushed the second danish towards you, it was a gift, and you were in the middle of trying to refuse when he shook his head and lifted his own. ‘You wish to know me, know I enjoy such desserts.’

‘But dessert before dinner?’ you asked conspiratorially, but he was already taking a bite, so you had no choice but to accept his kind offer. It turned out that the red was raspberry, and you hummed in enjoyment of it as you quickly took a second bite; that was what you loved about the place, no matter what you tried they always nailed it. He nodded in agreement to your enjoyment, and when your mouth was empty you took that sip of coffee, Moina making it exactly the way you loved yet again.

You talked casually as you ate, and you noted how the girls lowered the lights for atmosphere in your corner of the café as you listened intently to him speak. Never once did you bring up what happened at the bay, and only after you'd been talking for almost an hour did you learn that the Scott he was talking about was actually Ant-Man. You didn't realize you were late for your reservation by five minutes until you got a text from your friend, the question of if you'd had a fun time alerting you to the time, and you quickly got up and gathered your things; you'd taken off your own jacket ages ago, his suit coat joining the back of his chair, and he watched you disappointedly before you motioned to the door.

‘It's 8, we're gunna miss our reservation,’ you told him as you went to run your dishes back to the counter, Moina calling for you to leave them from her spot by the espresso machine.

‘You wish to continue?’ he asked hopefully, and you smiled just as hopefully as you nodded at him. He stood and grabbed his coats, his arm outstretched for you to take as you headed back out into the night, thumbs up from your friends the last thing you saw before the door closed behind you. Thankfully the restaurant was basically right next door, the walk over fast as you approached, but the new people heading in took one look at the both of you, linking arms, giddy from the pleasant conversation, with your coats hanging off of your free arms, and decided that you weren't good enough for this place. He straightened himself up, ready to walk in, but you held him back, your cheeks flushing again as you looked up at him.

‘Hey, why don't we do dinner at my place instead?’ you suggested carefully, your heart racing as he looked to the doors and then back at you.

‘I would prefer that, this place too trashy for my date,’ he agreed, the people around you offended as you then flagged down a cab, only for him to lead you to a parked van nearby. It was decaled professionally for his business, and the front seat was high and roomy as he helped you up to it, and when he joined you in the driver's seat he lifted your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles. ‘Where to?’

You fumbled your address twice before giving him the correct one, and something in the air changed as he pulled into the parking lot dedicated to your building. He followed you all the way up to your apartment, your nervous chuckle of, ‘Well, this is me,’ making him move a little closer to you as you unlocked the door and pushed it open. You were glad you'd cleaned in your panicked nervousness as he took in your place, your hands shaking a little as you took both his coats and laid them over the back of your couch after hanging up your own. ‘Uh, let's see what I've got in my kitchen, or we could order out? I can make a mean chicken parmesan though, or a burger? Whatever you're up for.’

You were nervously talking again, the change of location had completely reset you but for a different reason as he turned to face you, and behind that serious expression was something else; he was also nervous still, but there was excitement in there as well as the hope from before, and you swallowed when you realized you were backed against your table. 

‘I can also order a pizza, if you'd like,’ you tried to continue, but all thoughts of eating went out the window as he lifted your hand to his mouth again. He took his time, kissing each of your knuckles all the way to your fingertips before placing your hand against his cheek, and the warmth of his skin was electric as he stepped so close to you but didn't make contact, he was waiting to see what you wanted.

‘ты мне очень нравишься,’ he whispered into your palm, and you felt your breath catch at it all, your mind not even processing that it wasn't even English at first. ‘I really like you,’ he clarified when you tried to ask what he said, and your eyes widened in excitement as he moved even closer, ‘I was very much happy you accepted the date.’

‘I am too, I mean, I like- I like you too,’ you whispered, your voice just barely escaping as he brushed his thumb over your jaw, and when he suddenly leaned down to kiss you you felt the sparks run down all the way to your toes. It was chaste, and he pulled away just as fast like he was surprised with himself, his body moving away from yours as he instantly apologized.

‘Forgiving me, I did not mean-’ he started to say, now he was the one panicking about messing everything up, and you just smiled before pulling him back down to continue the kiss.

He relaxed the moment he knew it was okay, your body leaning further and further until you were bent over the table, your back hitting the cold wood and your legs wrapping around his waist to keep him close. He groaned into your mouth, were you really about to do this? But one shift of his hips against you made you realize yes, yes you really were as you tangled your hand into his hair and made him do it again. He obliged, your body shifting up the table with each short thrust, your mouths only leaving the other to moan or pant, and when you could take it no longer you pushed him back enough to work on the buttons on his shirt.

‘Where is bedroom?’ he asked as he helped you, your heart pounding hard as he took off his shirt and stared down at you, and you only pointed down the hall before he was picking you up and carrying you. You kissed his neck the whole way there, and he found the correct door and placed you on your bed before helping you reach a similar state of undress. One by one your fancy clothes were tossed to the floor without a care, your perfectly styled hair a mess the more he kissed you and ran his hands through it. More tattoos revealed themselves to you as you became more acquainted with his bare skin, and they decorated him by staining his arm and chest black, souvenirs from his time in prison along with the ones on his hands. He was fit, with the tiniest amount of tummy, his skin plush under a dusting of hair that trailed down into his boxers, and you bit your lip at the sight of what eagerly awaited you underneath.

He didn't remove them though, just cupped the back of your neck and leaned you back until he was on his hands and knees above you; he spoke in Russian again, catching himself faster this time before telling you that you were stunning, the thrill calming a bit as he just looked down at you. ‘So lovely, from moment I saw I wanted to be meeting you,’ he said softly, a sudden thickness in your throat as you felt more adored than you ever had been before.

‘I was excited when she told me I would be seeing you tonight,’ you admitted, and he smiled gently before leaning down to press kisses from your lips down to your collarbone. You watched him as he worshiped you, his hands trailing over your sides as he moved further down, your chest heaving as he hooked his fingers under the band of your underwear. He spoke in Russian again but he didn't have to translate as you just nodded, your last article of clothing joining the others as he lifted your legs over his shoulders and kissed you again.

Your hands found his head as he moaned against you, not wanting to force him down but also really wanting to do nothing more than that as he gripped your hips, and when he silently encouraged you to move as you pleased you didn't dare offend him by keeping still. He knew what he was doing, his tongue just as talented as his hands must’ve been as your pleasure built, the thought of him slipping a digit or three inside of you making you jolt as a particularly good burst made you gasp. He didn't stop until you warned him, the hand in his hair tugging a little too hard and making him groan again, he wanted to finish but you needed him, you couldn't let him go home without him coming too, and you were not going to let it be via your hand after that.

He licked his lips as he caught his breath, the sight of him between your trembling thighs so enticing that you couldn't hold back, and you sat up just enough to grab his hands and guide him back up to you. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he kissed you, your head swimming as he laid himself flat over you, his weight feeling so comfortable and addicting that just the realization of waking up without him tomorrow morning was suddenly a painful thought even though it'd never occurred to you before. You clung to him then, scared that he might disappear, but he wasn’t afraid of your sudden desperation as he kissed you so softly it nearly made you cry.

‘I wish to have you,’ he asked against your lips, and you kissed him again before nodding, his forehead resting against your own.

‘I wish to have you too,’ you told him back, and when he sat back to slip his boxers over his hips and down his legs you thought that he might be the most beautiful thing on earth. Usually you weren't so sentimental, not for sudden hookups at least, but with him it felt right as he laid beside you and got you to straddle him. You'd seen it but he felt so large pressing against you, your throat thick again as you gave yourself a quick reprieve to grab the lube and condoms you kept in your nightstand, both rather neglected since your last relationship had ended. You felt nervously giddy as you tore open the condom, unsure if you should put it on him or if you should hand it over while you prepared yourself, your mind going blank as he whispered something you didn't understand and guided your hands down.

Wordlessly he helped you roll it onto him, his movements slow and patient as you felt his pulse under your fingertips; he was so hard you didn't know how he could be this calm when it was killing you, your body already aching to have him inside of you. He could sense your readiness but he just chuckled lightly to himself, his large hand wrapping around yours and trapping your palm and fingers around his dick as he led you to give him a slow stroke, then another, and another, his eyes glazing over as you got the picture and continued as he let you go and picked up the lube from where you’d placed it. 

You felt your breath still as he poured some onto his palm, a blush spreading down to your shoulders as he then coated his own fingers in it instead of letting you, and when he sat up and got comfortable against your headboard you crawled on your knees until you were on his lap, your hand still moving over him as he reached between your legs. ‘Tell me if it’s becoming too much,’ he told you, your lips parting before you felt him press against your entrance; instantly your back arched as he held you in place, a hiss escaping through his teeth as you squeezed him a little too hard, and you apologized as you quickly kissed him, each sorry eaten up as he started to finger you in earnest. 

You resisted the urge to ride him as he worked, your hand keeping a steady pace in return as you were stretched open for him, his hands truly just as talented as his tongue as he found that sweet spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. He spoke to you again as he held you to his chest, but you weren’t sure what language it was this time as your waning orgasm was teasingly built up again. ‘D-don’t,’ you managed to say, needing to warn him not to do it too much, and he kissed your neck as he went back to stretching you instead, a second finger added and scissoring you open. You bit your lip and sped up your hand on him, now you the one to tease as he had to stop, the desperate groan in your ear telling you that he couldn’t wait any longer.

‘ты мне нужен,’ you heard him say before you were toppling to the side and onto your back, your body bouncing just a little before he was pushing your legs to your chest. ‘ты такой замечательный…’

You thought for just a moment that maybe he couldn’t concentrate long enough to translate anymore, English completely forgotten to him now that you were in his arms, and you wanted to hear more as he lined himself up and pushed inside as far as he could go. You share a breath as you both stilled, your arms around him as he clung to you and the sheets, time stopping as you looked up into his eyes. It’d never been like this before, usually if you were lonely enough for a hookup you’d quickly fuck and that would be it, but this was different, he was different as he let you adjust around him, his hand finding yours again as he kissed it before breathing shakily against your palm.

‘я хочу, чтобы это длилось вечно…’ His voice was so soft, his hips jutting slightly with every shift of your bodies, and you brought him back down to you as you wrapped your legs around him again.

‘Please,’ was all you could say back, and he kissed you as he started to move. His hand stayed grasped in yours as he thrust into you, a slow but still deliciously hard pace that had you rocked up towards the headboard with each one. Your nails dragged and dug into his skin as you clung to his back, presumably a curse falling from his lips as his free hand slid from your lower back to your hip. You couldn’t get enough of him, how each kiss still tasted like black coffee and danishes, how he was so big but he still held you soft enough that you wouldn’t even bruise, how even when his pace sped up a little he never stopped holding your hand.

You linked your fingers together and urged him for more, you weren’t even sure if he could understand you anymore as he just opened his eyes to look into yours, but one quick kiss was enough to break the barrier when you nipped at his lower lip. He smirked at you before flipping you back over, a laugh leaving you as you were effortlessly pulled back into straddling him; the top of his head hit the headboard in his excitement and you laughed again as he swore, but still your hands didn’t separate as he kept fucking up into you, his own big smile on his face when he saw yours. You braced yourself on his chest, right over another tattoo as you rode him, the angle allowing him to go even deeper as you arched back, his hand gliding over the expanse of your thigh, your hip, your stomach, your chest, all so he could commit you to memory.

‘ты красивый,’ he breathed, something in his tone making you stop and stare, and something in those words made the lump in your throat return until you were sniffling; you didn’t realize you were crying until he was sitting up, pulling you towards him, your movements stilling as he kissed away your tears and held you to him. He helped you move as you continued to ride him, your chests pressed together while he kissed your neck and held your face to his shoulder, more praise falling from his lips as it all became too much.

You clenched down around him as you came, and he grabbed your hip and guided you so you’d keep moving, your knees aching but you never stopped until he was laying back down again. You let him use you as he chased his own release, your hands now clasped between your chests as you caught your breath, and when he finally came you felt almost disappointed at the fact that you couldn’t feel him come inside you, a thought that had never occurred before now seeming so warranted as he collapsed onto the mattress. You didn’t let him pull out as you remained on his chest, your head in the crook of his neck as you watched his Adam’s apple bob with each swallow, and finally his hand left yours if only to cup your cheek.

‘милая моя… you… you are wonderful,’ he panted, his senses coming back to him as he kissed the side of your head, and you practically melted into him as you held him a little tighter.

‘It’s Saturday tomorrow, I hope you’re not planning on leaving,’ you tried to tease, but you couldn’t help the slight hopefulness that crept into your voice.

‘нет, I took weekend off for date,’ he said, his hand now brushing through your hair. ‘I did not want to hope, but…’ Your face flushed again, the thought of someone like him being so nervous about what you’d think of him making you feel more important than any date or partner had ever before. ‘Monday, we will becoming neighbours together, we start moving our stuffs into floor below yours, I’ll be seeing you more?’

‘Oh you’ll be seeing me a lot more, if you’d like?’ Your finger traced shapes over his chest, that hope arising again as you looked up at him, and when he smiled you had to stop yourself from confessing your love after the first date.

‘I would be liking that, very much.’

Maybe blind dates weren’t so bad, after all.

[bogusbyron]

NOW THAT I'M HOME:

Copy pasting les mis notes from today's matinee (30th may) here instead of posting screenshots from my notes app like last time cause i think thisll be easier to read.... There's 73 points and it's LONG so i'll put it under a read more . Go wild hope you find them somewhat interesting. Ignore any errors puhlease 😭🙏

1) Jordan Simon Pollard was on as Javert and he is. Fucking massive. Very imposing. His silhouette on the top of the boat is crazy good

2) Harry Lake as Marius, saw him on may 14th schools matinée, god his voice is gorgeous. As usual amazing

3) the guitar riff in Work Song kind of gets me lol

4) Valjean (Chris Jacobsen) flinching when Javert lifted his hand to pass him the slip. Additionally he has a GREAT voice. Quite gentle

5) The fight where Valjean gets beaten up was a bit awkward lmfao

6) More valjean flinching when the Bishop goes to touch his shoulder

7) chris spitting "thanked him like i should" interesting delivery, quite liked it.... his "took my flight" wasnt as strong is Milan's but whateverrrrrr

8) WILL ALWAYS BE STUNNED BY ADAM PEARCE'S VOICE🔥 THE LOW NOTE ON "BOUGHT YOUR SOUL FOR GOD" YUMM

9) The "I missed" on "I missed it 20 long years ago" was very harsh, as was "mouthful" in "mouthful of bread. LOOOVE thankyou Chris. "any other" in "treated me like any other" apparently was very gorgeous. I dont remember how but thats what I have written. Then i just wrote "Holy shit". He also was sobbing a little bit between "One word from him" and "offers me my freedom" which was lovely. Then i wrote "Chris ate jesus" so thats a high commendment

10) the bassline in At The End Of The Day is so delicious always

11) I kept seeing tom hext and harry lake in the ensemble (it was, uh, a bit thin  male ensemble-wise)

12) synth tones as usual heavenly I LOVE SYNTHESISERS!!!

13) the foreman was northern which was kind of funny #northrepresent

14) i think someone dropped somethijg offstage just before I Dreamed A Dream lmfao

15) Now i know that Fantine's wig cost £4000 i kind of appreciate it more. Doing my part

16) KATIE'S VOICE IS DIVIIIINE the low note she hits on "tear your hope apart" is ssoosooooooo goooode i get goosebumps bro

17) harry lake was the 2nd guy in lovely ladies though thought that was funny. He got his arse slapped on the "if you want to take all year" line . Giggled

18) javert big ass hat with the feather 😭😭😭😭😭

19) he was throwing some bitchy ass glances at the other policeman (who was harry lake. Btw) when fantine was begging whats his problem. His faces were so fun to watch hes so expressive. Hes also delightfully imposing

20)  not very homoerotic at the cart although they did get dangerously close on "brand upon his skin".

21) i loved Jordan's performance honestly, he was very curt and harsh in his lines. Makes you want to cower away when he speaks

22) i cant remember when, but Chris spat a lil during Who Am I ans i wrote "spittin a bit there Chris. Hit that shit"

23) Katie was so wonderfully and convincingly weak for Come To Me ouuhhh my heart

24) I liked the little detail of Valjean looking over his shoulder a lot when he was with Fantine... ughhhghhhhhh

25) THE LOW NOTE JORDAN HIT 🤤🤤🤤🤤 different chainn

26) good strangle. Didnt fuck it up! He was stood up rather than knelt or laid like javert usually is but thats probably a Jordan thing since ive seen Stewart thebother times. He stood up quite fast rather than writing around a bit like stewart does and thenWIPED HIS MOUTH cool whagever. Then valjean kneed him in the balls at the tousle at the end lmfao

27) TOMMMM😍😍😍 i love his thenardier withbhis gruff voice lol. He did a little shimmy on "content to be" looove. I love his gay little dance he does with his pointed toes. And he flashed the gentleman guest at the start. As usual he does the bisexual thing. He flashes everyone again after mme thenardier's "whats happened since" someones gotta stop him bro

28) chris was so gentle with cosette i could cry .

29) tom hext thenardier does this thing where he's asleep when valjean comes in until he says "pay" at which he wakes up with a snort. Love

30) cosette runs to valjean  when he starts reassuring her when the thenardiers are trying to get him to spend more money snd it warmed my heart

31) tom squeaking "monsieur" in "one of our own monsieur" tickled me hes so funny. Also the jazz hands after "christians must do". I did keep getting blinded by his shiny shoe buckles though

32) chris was delightfully harsh on "too long to Forget" get his ass valjean

33) THE HUG AFTERWARDS WAS SOOOOO CUTE VALJEAN WAS CLEARLY SO TOUCHED UGGHHH IT WAS SO LOVELY I LOVETHAT SCENE SO MUCH

34) LOVE YOU HARRIUS his face when he sees cosette is so nice hes so good bruh

35) JAVERT IS HUUGE ITS CRAZZYZYYYYY especially  in that coat and the hat ohmt god dude

36) when thenardier pipes up after valjean runs off from javert he steps forward and gets choked a little itwas great. The way he goes up to javert to lean on him and the slide on his voice on "told you so" as well when he walks backwards lmfaoaoooo

37) stars was GORGEOUS . I mainly made very messy notes on Jordan's inflections during the song because i like the different delivery choices.... "face to face" was quite soft which i liked. The quick slide on "fall in flames" was delish.. hissed "scarce" and "silent" on "silent and sure". HOLY SHIT also his expressions, so good. Stewart is largely kind of deadpan just with a furrowed brow but jordan's face is all over the place its delightful. Also "bars" in "safe behind bars" was SO powerful and low ohhhhh his voice bruh. Bloody hell

38) marius' blank ass stupid ass smile when he offers the money to eponine its so fucking funny

39) i think the foreman is rhe ssame guy as grantaire but i do Not know. He did a silly giggle after "some wine and say what's going on" which i liked

40) i wrote "marius is so [see below image]" which lke ueah he was. Nothing behind his eyes at all. Love you harrius

41) i absolutely LOVE djavan as enjolras hes very engaging and shit i LOVE him . Dont even care about les amis that much but djavan is great at getting me to gaf about enjolras i cant lie. Hes so good

42) i wrote "harmonies. I came" do you hear the people sing getting me good as always

43) cosette was still shaky im so sorry girl i dont like her voice very much😭 great voice very talented her vibrato is just all over im so sorry

44) shamefully, i had to write "cosette your dad fit as fuck"  when he appeared for heart full of love lmfao

45) he was quite harsh on "better unsaid" ..😔 contrasted the otherwise gentle deljveries for the rest kf the show

46) marius looks constantly, like, aghast and bewildered and stunned by the fact that cosette is looking at him and i loved that. Bless him. Love you harry

47) babet always cracks me up whats his deal. Also in attack on rue plumet there was a guitar riff after "why's she hanging about you" giggled

48) felt a bit 4th wall-y when valjean was saying his plan to escape idk. Hello vro❤

49) enjolras' bit in one day more will always fuck. I got goosebumps so bad when he came in bruhhhh. FUUUUUUCCCCKKK I LOVE ONE DAY MORE

ACT 2

50) not much exr chemistry  surprisingly. Tom hext clearly doing the heavy lifting for the enjoltaire fandom

51) AMENA I LOVEYOUUUUUUU GOD HER VOICE IS SO GORGEOUS I LOVE HEERRRRRR goosebumbppsss

52) never getting over the barricade reveal . As a techie the lighting makes me geek the fuck out bro. Id say it gave me a boner but would that be going too far. Anyway the lights were bright and i could finally see clearly what i was writing for a bit lol

53) i wrote "byron for army general 2025 i dont know why because my voice is nowhere as good as that. I am the biggest fan of those bits though its so catchy i love it. They really went harsh on the Guns or DIE!!!!!! looove

54) the only one taller than javert is enjolras and i find this hilarious

55) JAVERT WITH THE DARK RED RIBBON IN HIS HAIR i said "dorothycore" later in the evening. Also his sideeye to gavroche when he was being ratted out was funny

56) HARRY SO GENTLE IN FALL OF RAIN OHHMY GOD DUDE THEIR DUET WAS SO TENDER AND HIS FACE OF DISBELIEF AND SHOCK WHEN EPONINE DIES WAS SO HEARTBREAKING FUCCKKKKK

57) "javert slutty red waistcoat" he had a deep red waistcoat to match his hair ribbon. Ir was kinda unbuttoned off his shoulder when he was dragged back out okayyyyyyyy

58) chris delightfully harsh when he says "give me the spy" yesssss bro yessss

59) NOT AS HOMOEROTIC AS ID LIKED BUT AGAIN  SCHOOLS MATINÉE TUESDAY REALLY SET THE BAR HIGH😭 valjean did grab javert lapels though and hold them until "i'm a man. Held out hope in my soul my psychic mind beams would cause them to kiss like my comic but alas! Also as usual javert very expressive. Yummm.

60) gavroche and grantaire's friendship for evarrrrr. Theyr so fire

61) chris was so lovelyand delightfully soft for bring him home HE ABSOLUTELY HIT THAT SHIT, IF I DIE... BROOO... i thimk i prefer milan still but chris absokutelt did NOT disappoint.

62) did not shit myself this time when gavroche died. Winning

63) djavan's voice as always insanely good its insane dude holee fuck hes so good brugh

64) when grantaire died he qas kinda hanging off the side in a really awkward spot and i think javert stood on him a lil when climbing down the barricade lol. On that note hes still so fucking big its crazy im obsessed. Also Again with the cross over gavroche's body though godbless

65) kind of looked like tom's mic wasnt on his head properly in the sewers but whatever thats just a techie nitpick of mine. He sounded great as usual though no problems just looked a bit odd lol. He kicks marius on "stiffs at my feet" poor guy

66) javert raised his brows and bulged his eyes on "i wont be swayed" i just had to note that because of how good it was. His expressions seriously so enchanting

67) the heavy breathing and kinda growling before soliloquy dude ohhmy gourd. Hell yes brother. His hair was so good too his wig is slightly curly and its like all over his shoulders and shit whenever he brought his chin back it kind of cowled his face and it was delectable . His EYES .............. as a bulging eyes javert truther it was sso good. Great inflection on "i am the law", "valjean", "dominion", "insTEAD"..... soft on "gave me my life" which i LOVED, as well as delivering "heart of stone" in such a deeply sad tone which was so good bro ohhmy god. "Killed me" was very harsh LOVE! he absolutely GROWLED "world of jean valjean" hellooooooooo bruhhh

68) HARRY LAKE WHEN I GET YOU HARRY LAKE. the low notes on "tomorrow never came" get outtttt. "Theres a grief that cant be spoken" whole line got my heart torn apart . He deliverwd it SO emotionally it got me screaminf crying. Also he was kind of harsh on "don't ask me" which i LOOOVED.

69) dont really know how to describe it but chris' valjean i liked himmmm he felt like ? Quite .. mature ? Well duh cause hes like old ass man . He played it wonderfully anguished as he was confessing to marius, got more anguished as he went on until the "who am i" ouuughhhhhhh . He was delightfully desperate and frantic when he was asking marius to keep the secret too, shaking his shoulders a little and all bro ohhhmy

70) HARRY SO HANDSOME IN HIS SUIT 😊😊😊😊🥰 HIS SMILE ALSO i might be a little bit in love with him but what evarrrr lol

71) THE THENARDIERS AS ALWAYS DELIGHTFUL stole the show. Tom's spin when he gets punched by marius omg so good . GAY ASS DANCING .... plus return of the funny little toe dance he does in master of the house. He did a little pose on "paris at my feet" which i loved. The pose:

72) chris' frail voice OUCH. so gentle. He was like muttering into cosette's hair when she kneeled in front of him i was going craaaaaazzzzyyyyyyyyy bro kmsss. The way he delivered the "i will try" was so fucking heartwrenching cause he sounded so earnest and final  and like the smile he gave her ohmy god i was tweaking so bad HRURRYUYYGGGHHHHHH he whuspered "its a story" as he handed her the book. Suicide tomorrow gang⁉️

73) nearly cried i cant lie. NEARLY. i didnt but nearly. Goosebumps on that final note ugh OUGH eugghhh. Anyway yeah final  verdict this cast fucked amen 🌈🌈 harrius and tomardier on top

[i-like-anything-water]

Wenclair prompt: Enid using pickup lines on Wednesday and Wednesday being absolutely oblivious, confused, and sometimes a little concerned

Here’s a couple for inspiration

“Feel my shirt! Know what it’s made of? Girlfriend material”

“Something’s wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you”

“If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print”

Note: Admittedly not my best work but I hope it's decent enough! I think this is around 1k or less? Thank you for the cute prompt! : D

Riddles and Spells

"I'm starting to get worried about the table."

Enid glared at a snickering Yoko, groaning as she hit her head against the table, again. They were probably getting concerned looks from the other occupants but they could care less. The blonde let out a whine, her hands balled into fists.

"Okay, your moping was funny before but now it's absolutely painful to watch," Yoko sighed as she patted her pup's head. "Addams really did a number on you."

"She's so pretty," Enid replied instead, her cheeks dusting just a slight pink. Her roommate for a year and crush for a month hadn't shown up for their usual lunch. She was probably at Eugene's or off investigating another case that caught interest.

"Sometimes I wish I was a murder mystery."

"Why?"

Enid chuckled, "Cause maybe then she'd be so interested in me?"

Yoko cackled at the blonde's statement which earned her an indignant huff and a 'you suck at being my bff, Yoko!'. Oh, man. She was absolutely smitten with the small murder machine.

"Y'know, maybe if you used your pick up lines on her instead of rambling how amazing she is to poor old me, you could actually score a date."

"That's ridiculous!" Enid shrieked, "I'd just make things awkward! It took me months for her to let me get close to her without a knife up my throat, I am not going to break that."

"Simp much?"

"Yeah and I kind of like still living."

"LMAO, ditto."

Yoko's eyes darted across the pentagon as a smirk formed on her blood stained lips.

"Enid, listen."

-

"Enid? Are you listening?"

Enid nodded, determined, "Listening? Yes. Single and available? Yes as well."

Wednesday stared at her.

"What?"

Enid leaned back in her bed as her gaze never left Wednesday's, "You asked me if I was listening. I was. Every. Word."

"Is that so? Tell me," Wednesday said, "What did I say?"

"What did I say."

"That's not-" Wednesday frowned, "Since you haven't been listening, clearly, I'll just repeat myself."

"You can repeat yourself until forever."

"That's impractical, why would I do such nonsense?"

"Because your voice is my melody."

Wednesday's brows furrowed. Was Enid talking riddles with her? Given that the riddle hadn't contained any words that would suggest a casting spell, she disliked when she doesn't have an answer to anything. Well, she's wrong to challenge her of all people.

"Really? If my voice is a melody then surely yours is it's musical accompaniment." Bullseye. Enid's eyes widened as she sputtered out her response.

Wednesday rolled her eyes but a satisfied smirk made it's way across her face.

"Next time you think of challenging me to riddles, think again."

"Oh my god."

Apparently Enid was ever the competitive spirit because it didn't stop there. Wednesday had to commend her dedication into outsmarting her in these nonsense but no Addams ever backed down from a duel, swords or words. She'd learned from Thing that the best way to combat them is to answer just as Enid had said it. Maybe she should have seen the teasing - how does a hand even look teasing - way Thing had made an 'OK!' sign.

"You should wear hoodies more often, it's definitely made from girlfriend material."

Wednesday turned to her, "Maybe you should give me yours then."

She continued walking as Enid walked straight to a lamp post.

Enid had slid next to her during lunch, a fruit in hand, "If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple."

Wednesday took a sip of her soup, "If that's so, then I'm definitely good for you."

Enid blushed as she took a bite of her pineapple slices as Yoko laughed while patting Bianca's back who had choked at Wednesday's response.

The riddles were getting ridiculous as each day passed but Wednesday was anything but a quitter.

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Cause you're CuTe."

"I'm not but I already have enough chemistry with you."

"Do we really need these sources for essays? My search already ended when I met you."

Wednesday hummed, surprised at the sudden spike in her heartbeat. Strange, she doesn't remember consuming poison, "Yes. Despite the search already ending, we need something to hold on to."

"You're such a cat, cause you're purrfect!"

That sudden spike again. Perhaps they weren't riddles, but spells disguised under teenage nonsense.

"I gotta get my eyes checked, they can't stop looking at you."

Enid smiled at her warmly and Wednesday realized how close their faces were. It felt like looking directly at the sky, drowning in pools of blue.

"No wonder you love books, you're fine print yourself."

She had Enid on her lap sleeping peacefully, the morning after she wolfed out and brought her a bag of dead squirrels for her. Her book forgotten as she combed through the blonde's hair.

"I'm no serial killer but I'd be happy to give you hearts."

Her hands were covered in blood when Enid had found her, her own face smeared with blood and dirt. She couldn't help the sigh of relief as arms enveloped her in a hug, glad the blood wasn't theirs.

"If loving you was a crime... I'd be happy to be in a life sentence."

Wednesday had never once gave up. It wasn't like an Addams to admit defeat easily. But Enid was standing there, heart bared out as she was close to tears. Wednesday felt that familiar skip in her usually calm and slow heart that scared even the smartest of surgeons.

"I love you." It was simple. It was whispered softly like a prayer. It was the answer to all the riddles they've told.

"I love you more, mon soleil."

[katyspersonal]

Gideon for the ask meme. =)

(Ask from this ( x ) meme)

Favorite thing about them:

I like that he kind of subverted the trope he seemed to be going for! I already answered the same thing in your ask regarding what exactly made him turn around and abandon everything ( x ), and honestly I DID need to answer that question to myself first of all so thank you for that one! x)

He feels like the trope of a guy who is very smart with books but not a smart person, or rather, "knowledge does not equal wisdom"! Like, you know this trope! And a very pleasing trope to latch onto, because we all knew at least one person like this! One who is very well-informed, a walking encyclopedia, but either doesn't make real sense of this information or misses the main point in all these facts and details! Well... nonetheless, he understood something not even we have: Marika's true wish!

He understood the lie of "consort of Marika", and why exactly she shattered the Elden Ring! He understood she wanted to end the vicious cycle that existed as long as she does, and sure she did not want another one to start by Elden Ring being repaired! Unfortunately, "a God can't die" (though she probably hoped Hewg and someone he helps would find the way?), so the best he can offer to approximate her wish is to gatekeep the Elden Ring endlessly!

Not only he understood what we, who seek Lordship, didn't. Being the head of the Roundtable Hold was THE massive chunk of his life, his main accomplishment. He gave all this time, research and even many deals with his own integrity for the purpose that the called Tarnished were promised. He lived hell knows how long and the lie of Two Fingers was all he ever knew. And yet, as soon as he glimpsed into truth, his instant reaction was "alright then, new plan". A typical trope of this character would've had a severe cognitive dissonance at least, a pathetic reaction of rejecting the truth at most. But he just... rolled with it. No denial, no despair. Instantly embraced the fact that everything he's been working on was a lie. How many people do you know that take having their whole world shutter THIS well and simply accept the new facts?

This is commendable. He might have made many mistakes in his life and appeared arrogant and became cold, but he passed THE one trial for whether he really values knowledge that mattered the most. He, in the end, lived up to what he aspired to be with no struggle beyond "shuddering in fear".

Least favorite thing about them:

Oh, I definitely agree that it got to be the way he disowns Nepheli, but it speaks more about him. Because this is the same trait that allows him to take Ensha's death as just an inconvenience that must not distract him any longer! Ironically, it is simply the other side of the trait of his that I JUST praised above!

He is quick to adapt and bounce back from the stress, true... But he is also quick to severe the bonds if his goals or situation calls for it. I do not believe he never cared for Nepheli! The way he talks about her, both words and his voice tone, betray respect and affection.

And yet he later says he "no longer has a use for her".

The man can't get mentally staggered by anything, which is his power, but a power that comes with a price. ....that usually other people will pay. He will instantly move on from a breakup, not shed a tear at the funeral of a loved one, bounce back from betrayal as though he never expected anything to begin with, and he definitely, DEFINITELY won't hesitate to cut the ties if the hold him back! Does this man have a heart? Can truly lasting, deep bonds be formed with him, if he doesn't let anyone's hand hold his heart strings?

Strange, how the same trait can be commendable strength of the character in one instance, but a rather repulsive callousness in another, don't you think?

Favorite line:

"Despite knowing next to bloody nothing, he's so far up his own arse he won't suspect a thing. His inevitable display of arrogance will certainly be a sight to behold."

I do love all of his nerding, but him being salty about Seluvis felt sooooo satisfying! xD I don't know why, this dialogue just always makes me smile! It is both the sense of "being against the same bitch" even if briefly AND knowing that he is not wrong though. >:3

brOTP:

Him and Dolores, I think!

I was talking about his callousness that doubles like strength of the character for a while, right? I feel like he was friends with Dolores and Seluvis before he developed to be like that, in younger years!

It is not quite like Gideon that we know now, to cut the ties with someone because they've harmed a person he cared about and not because "they are no longer of use"! More than that; whatever you say about Seluvis as a person, but I'd say he is quite useful acquaintance!

I am not sure whether this experience broke Gideon's heart and he never assed to glue it back, or he simply changed over years on his own. But nonetheless, he held her dear. "Both a critic and a friend of Gideon the All-Knowing". He appreciated a person who had the balls to disagree with him, and you KNOW she had actual arguments and good points to be respected as a critic by HIM! It is another glimpse into how he really IS the man who values the truth over "being right". She must have been the type to be clever even without much knowledge or read books, and he for sure is aware that being informed doesn't mean understanding this information. Their debates must have been very productive for both of them! I can see how he valued her honesty and insight, yet back in his better days, he grieved her, not her "lost use".

OTP:

I think maybe, again, Dolores? It feels like this ship would've never came to fruition in canon! I can picture either him having a crush but never expressing it, or her not feeling the same and them bouncing back to being friends very quickly! Still, the "love" from Gideon we know these days is a treacherous kind, ready to leave you behind as soon as the situation calls for it. But, he used to be different.

I also like to think he liked Wilhelm and Vargram both! True, Vyke was the Roundtable Hold Tarnished who approached Lordship the closest! But, he respected the approach of those two more. Wilhelm is a goddamn NERD as well, peering as far as primeval current and accepting the "Insight" that told him to fight his friend! Vargram took the task put on Tarnished so seriously that he fashioned himself after a Shadowbeast! And found Gloam Eyed Queen's sword?! I could picture his respect to the two who take it as seriously as he does growing into something stronger! Don't know which guy though. 🤔 In any case, these things are from the days long past, but he wishes Tarnished at least half-way as endearing as those two joined again.

nOTP:

I think Gideon x Seluvis just doesn't hold appeal for me.. I do not mind 'hatefucking' kind of pairs at all, okay? *voice of a guy who wrote that mini speculation about Hornsent and Leda lol* They're funny! But it is the "they fell apart because of Dolores" that seals the deal for me...

It is a Serious One, to be together with someone who obliterated the free will of a person you cherished for that free will to begin with! Gideon is a different person now, but I think he reserves the younger Gideon that lost her as inseparable part of his history, and buildup to who he became. And that includes grudge with Seluvis. These days, he would've "forgiven" someone like that as long as they're "of use" as he learned to not expect any human decency, but the pillars of the past may remain untouched.

Random headcanon:

As you can see, Gideon is unprecedented case of a Nox Tarnished, something we don't get to have in character creation presets nor anything seen in any other character!

From the way he speaks of Nepheli, he is not quite blind to someone's origins or heritage! As much as he ultimately values someone's own potential, these biases he can't fully uproot, and it includes him. Deep down, he feels proud to descend from folks that angered the Greater Will itself and dared to try and do no one else would! In an oddly poetic way, it played nicely into the end of his story, where he did favor what Marika wanted rather than what Two Fingers and whatever behind them wanted! Without intending to, he lived to the mindset of his ancestors...?

Still, he always knew he was "not like other kids" for his looks, and felt glad if someone was able to recognise his kind of eyes.

Unpopular opinion:

Most (all of them) things people guilt Gideon for actually apply to Seluvis! Seluvis is the arrogant one, Seluvis is the all-books-no-wits guy! Seluvis is a disgusting scheming bastard! Seluvis is the one "coping"! Gideon IS wise and knowledgeable, Gideon DOES have principles even if he lost the struggle to uphold him on his way! STOP LIVING IN A LIE WAKE UP

Song I associate with them:

For some reason this, makes me think of him... More particularly, his gradual descent into making more and more deals with his own consciousness.

This song made me imagine Gideon constantly having to convince himself that this is "the last atrocity he commanded", that the situation simply called for it now, but surely, when he (or someone he helped) becomes a Lord, all will be fixed and redeemed? He will be back on the track to his goal to fix the world and never let oppression happen again! This is just this time, he will have better options later, eventually, for sure...

Favorite picture of them:

[pendarling]

no rush obv but i really enjoyed dont lie! Would you mind doing a part 2?

🩷Thank you!🩷 I tried writing a little more, I don’t know where the story is supposed to go either lmao :)

Don’t Lie 2

<< Start < Part 1 • Part 3 > End >>

Cornering would be the correct term for situations like these.

Villain's plan was easy, and it came naturally too. Just a little over the course of a few days in preparation. Sometimes they had to commend themselves for their evil genius.

Their spouse was always doing something on their phone and one thing they’ve made clear at the start of their relationship was that privacy was a set boundary. Villain wouldn’t break that agreement but some things had to happen.

There was a good chance— and they weren’t saying that it was stupid to be dating Hero— but was it possible that their spouse could be Hero? The off-chance that Villain could’ve missed all the signs?

After all, what was that mask doing in their room at an awkward time? Villain has never once suspected their spouse was doing anything outside of their office job. They always arrived home on time too.

Well… a little late into the evening their spouse would be typing away on their phone, probably cheating.

Today they sat unknowing at the end of the table without a care.

"So, how was work?" Villain could just hear the gears working in their head to make their next response as beliveable as possible. On normal occassions, they wouldn't ask, but this was special.

Other than catching a potential cheater, Villain had collected their other villainous friends to hijack an event somewhere downtown.

It would be enough to get media attention. Including every hero possible.

At the same time, them and their partner could finally focus on rebuilding their relationship in a nice restaurant somewhere out of town. Away from the distraction.

"Hmm, why?" Their spouse looked at them confused. "It's just the usual at the office. Did something happen with you?"

It seemed like their partner was smarter than they thought. They already turned the question onto their own personal life, then again they could really just be curious.

Alright, we can play games.

Villain exhaled long, they had to keep their cool just a bit longer. Revenge was best served cold, afterall.

Settle, heart.

God, they couldn't stand their eyes. Their warm, sweet, delicate eyes… it was hard to not look away.

They stared down at the plate in front of them, another painful smile coming across their face. "Nothing, just… thought we should go on a date on Friday"

"Really? Well, then I'll make sure to clear my schedule."

Good.

If they could make it then it would confirm that their spouse was in fact a true civilian. But that would couldn’t clear them of cheating with Hero or anyone else.

If they couldn’t make it, then that would be enough to prove Villain’s partner was Hero. Either way, it was abhorrent to know they would keep such a huge secret from them.

Then again, weren’t they also being secretive with their (hopefully civilian) partner?

It didn’t matter. They would see through all of this. Whatever it took to save their relationship.

<< Start

< Part 1

•

Part 3 >

End >>

~~~

MASTERLIST