#Sometimes I just have these thoughts

[sophieswundergarten]

Weird Snippety Thing I don't know how to finish or what to do with

As they stumbled past the sign, Jillson struggling to support the much taller, lankier form of Jackson, he looked up for a moment.

"Are we seriously back in Stonetown?" He muttered, dropping his head after his fever-glazed eyes skimmed over the words.

"Yes," Jillson sighed, taking a moment to catch her breath, "We are."

It had only been luck that allowed the pair to get out of Italy before the government agents who were now swarming the compound had noticed them. And though Jillson had rifled through Dr. Curtain's desk drawers and taken any money she could find, they were hard-pressed to make it last long enough for them to escape Europe entirely.

After that, it had been one long stretch of wandering from place to place, hitchhiking for a couple hours on a good day, and sleeping under whatever cover they could find. Jillson wasn't even sure where they were going, and anytime she and Jackson discussed it, they both came up with the somewhat vague answer of "somewhere safe".

That was, until the torrential rainstorm they had been caught in the week before. Jillson was never sure why, but Jackson had the worst immune system of anyone she had ever met. And also a severe lack of self preservation skills. Thus, when he had woken her up in the middle of the night with his uncontrollable shivering, assuring her that everything was completely fine and he felt perfectly alright, she had decided it was better to head for a place that they at least somewhat knew how to navigate.

The map she had stolen from a newspaper stand told her that they were very near Stonetown anyway, but she had kept their new destination quiet because she knew that as soon as Jackson figured it out he'd dig his heels in and refuse.

"Why are we here, Jilly?" He moaned quietly. "We're just going to get arrested. I thought we were trying to get somewhere safe."

Jillson huffed, slinging his arm over her shoulders and continuing towards the centre of town. "Because, we aren't going to make any progress living in the woods for the next two weeks, especially with you being sick. It's your own fault, anyway. If you hadn't managed to get yourself absolutely drenched then I wouldn't be having to make these decisions on my own." She spoke tersely, trying to shove down the worry that came with the reappearance of her childhood nickname.

She counted up the money they had leftover in her head as they walked, even though she knew it would come out to the exact same amount as it had every time previously: not enough.

There was no way, even if they somehow managed to to avoid being recognized and taken into custody, that she would be able to pay a doctor's fees.

At least, now that they were actually in a town instead of skirting the edge of it, she might be able to find something generically useful at a drugstore. She only hoped it would be okay.

They hadn't had health classes at the Institute, and while some things like scraped knees and black eyes you just learn to deal with as you grow up, she had no clue how to take care of someone who was actually ill. She didn't even know how serious this was. But she pushed that thought away. It wouldn't do any good to worry about that right now.

Right now, she needed to keep going. It was already late, and though she wasn't sure of the exact time, she knew it was dark enough out that shops would be closing soon.

She stumbled slightly, wavering as she forced herself to stand up straight. She could do this. She had to do this. All their life they had only had each other, but they had also had the resources Dr. Curtain left available to them. Now, they were well and truly alone, and she needed to be strong enough for both of them.

However, she only made it a few more steps before her feet betrayed her once again, and she sank to her knees, one arm still wrapped around Jackson.

He was dead weight in her arms, breathing shallowly, but she couldn't bring herself to stand again just yet. She braced her one free hand against the cold ground, sucking in desperate lungfuls of chilly evening air. She had to keep going. She just needed the world to stop spinning beneath her first.

A sudden light was thrown on the pair, as the front door of the house they had stopped in front of opened, flooding the street with a warm, yellow glow.

"Oh dear." A voice murmured, and Jillson glanced up to find a familiarly disheveled man looking down at them, wringing his hands.

"You really do look so much like him," She gasped, thoughts clouding, before the whole world rang out into silence.

[nothingbizzare]

You have a good heart

[aethersea]

the question of fic comments is very straightforward actually. readers do not owe writers comments. writers do not owe readers fic. there is no bargain, no transaction, no debt.

fic is a gift. comments are a gift. gifts are exchanged between friends, out of love, not out of obligation.

I write for myself. I post it for others, as a gift, because their joy brings me joy. I read for myself. I comment for the author, as a gift, because their joy brings me joy. perhaps we were not friends before, but we are now, however fleetingly, because we have given each other gifts out of love.

[bi-writes]

thinking about being a new lieutenant working with laswell and getting to meet her a-team, tf141, and immediately clashing with your equivalent. that other lieutenant that wears a fucking costume and glares whenever he sees you, simon fucking riley. (kinda dark, 18+)

you hate him. you hate how good he does in the field. it sickens you when you see how every knife he throws hits its target with disgustingly perfect accuracy. you sneer when he aims his rifle, each bullet going exactly where he wants it to go because he's that fucking good, look at him, big man with a big fucking head and a big--

god, it's so frustrating to be out here for so long. on a cot, so far away from everything, reporting back to laswell and then spending time with a task force who is so intelligent on the field but shares one fucking brain cell off of it.

and it's so lonely. it's so lonely, and you feel so far away, and when you show up in front of ghost's room that evening, you don't even exchange words as he steps aside, letting you slink into the dark of it. you don't speak as he crowds you against the door, as he pushes you up against it, when he reveals the lower half of his face so he can kiss you and taste you in every way he's wanted to since he met you. you're so fucking annoying, you crawl under his skin, and when he tastes you, he sucks, his tongue tracing the inside of your mouth as he tugs his cargo pants just under his cock and hoists you up around his waist.

it's just stress relief, you tell yourself as he fucks you against the rattling door. i just need a little relief, is what you say to yourself as he mumbles against yours lips, gripping the fat of your hips in his big hands and putting his cock to good use. he's not gentle, but you don't want him to be. he's too good at what he does, you were hoping he would have fault in one fucking area of his life, but even like this, he shows you just how well he fucks and just how big he really is, everywhere.

please, please, please--! you beg. he snickers, and it's mean, and he's sucking a warm bruise into your neck when he mutters, "tha'sit, swee'eart. we both know who's really in charge, eh? yeah--yeah, good girl--y'r such a good girl--"

and you are. cum soaked thighs, your mouth still on his when he finally comes, grunting as he fills you so full, it's dripping onto your thighs, onto his, dampening the clothes neither of you bothered to take off. and when you leave, you tell yourself this will never happen again, that ghost will keep this a secret because he hates you just as much, that ghost is discreet and quiet and values his privacy, and if you don't speak of this again, neither will he. it suddenly comforts you how closed off he is.

so it does surprise you when the next morning comes, and you go to sit with your team to eat, that ghost snarls when you try and take a seat beside him. you expect this to be a rude gesture, but you squeak when he grips you around the waist and forces you into his lap. you stiffen, but his sergeants barely bat an eye. the braid of your hair is yanked backwards, and you gasp when you feel his breath against your ear, even through the mask.

"the casual shaggin' sort of deal? not m'thing, luvvie. now eat y'r breckie, swee'eart, 'm fuckin' hungry, and 'm not very patient."

he used to think having one of his sergeant's underneath him was the kind of power-play that got him right off.

wrong.

nothing like fucking a pretty little lieutenant good enough she can't fucking remember how to speak.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

How much longer 'til your luck runs out?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[idolomantises]

Man is it just me or are a lot of TV shows nowadays are written to have big emotional episodes in scenes with very little build up.

[tawnysoup]

CW DEATH, DEAD BODY, STRANGULATION, BLOOD, IMPLIED SELF-HARM (in case my tags aren't enough!!!! stay safe)

(Above you, you hear Loop trying to take a breath.)

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[hinamie]

corvidae

[lucabyte]

some thoughts on Claude

alt title: diversity win! this Butch Nun is crafting bombs in an unventilated room in her convent while actively courting Mother Superior! Do Not Give Them Access To Unlimited Power No Matter How Nice They Are

+ bonus

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

There is something I absolutely loathe about fashion content on the whole.

"What is your color season? Buy a whole new wardrobe." - I assure you that I am not throwing out perfectly good things I already have.

"Find your aesthetic and build a whole wardrobe around it" - again, this involves getting rid of things and buying new ones.

"Instead of buying this sweater, buy one that is pure wool." - I have news for you about how affordable pure wool is.

"Just go thrifting!" - Thrifting is not the gold mine that people seem to think it is. A lot of influencers are getting lucky because they live in cities where there is a relatively high turnover of stock at the thrift store. My average thrift store visit ends with me buying one or two things that 1. I like. 2. Are reasonably priced for the condition they're in. 3. Are actually my size.

If I had to sum up my irritation with this, it's that a lot of fashion content (and interior design from what I've seen) is that it is built on the idea that your life should have a unified aesthetic. But I would wager that most people have pieces and parts of different aesthetics cobbled together across different periods of their life. And there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to start over every time your "aesthetic" shifts a bit.

[madamemiz]

saw a post recently about the sun and moon fandom and how non-selfship content is rare, and how that's frustrating, and it struck me, like... how rare that is. genuinely in all my 20ish years in online spaces, i've never seen a fandom that not only welcomed selfship but actively encourages it, when usually the rule of thumb is that it's tolerated at best and despised at worst

so why is this fandom so selfship centric?

the answer is a combination of factors, of course, but I think it was mostly just a perfect storm of the right character with the right traits at the right time. many people between about 23 and 33 were and still are experiencing intense childhood nostalgia that's being perpetuated by online culture and various media, often through a distorted or slightly unsettled lense. the daycare attendant is fun! they're childish, but decidedly not children. they're not human, unattainable in reality, but plausible enough in the age of ai that they make you ponder. they make you long to nap and play and color and do all the whimsical things you wish you could take a week off from your dull job and do! but there's something... off about them. an element of danger that's intriguing. they're dangerous, but what if they aren't to you specifically? or, if they are, what if they overcame that, just for you? what if you were worth it?

people our age are lonely, and if not, often working through issues they didn't have time to contemplate in their teens and early 20s because they were still living throigh the issues. younger people too, of course, but it's especially rampant in the aforementioned age group. past college and college friends, too caught up in work to make new ones. if the dca really clicked with you as a character, it's kind of fun to imagine what it would be like to hang out with them. what if they were your friend? what if they were more?

which leads to my last point--cringe is dead and we stomped on its corpse

maybe it started with a few people drawing a y/n with the dca, and wow the art is cute! who's the cute jester character? ... is that a self-insert? huh. and then more people join in. is that allowed? yes! and the crowd cheers for it too! the right people drawing the right character dynamics at the right moment, drawing others like a moths to a strange robotic flame

ultimately, the fandom attracts so much selfship because that's the bedrock, the foundation the rest of the fandom built its home on. almost all of the common tropes and characterization have roots in selfship fic and art. the dca's popularity very much kicked off from that, and seeing other people using them as an outlet for their loneliness, friendship, romantic or sexual desires, or even just for creative character and plot setups that are only tangentially related to canon actively encouraged others to join in, in a way that could only happen while riding the funerary coattails of cringe culture

it's very much a lightning in a bottle fandom, the likes of which i doubt we'll see again for a while

[puppppppppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[skullrift]

“who’s the evil alter” about to be me if you don’t shut yo ass up

- 🥀

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A whole new meaning to Gay Chicken.

(For: Anonymous raffle winner!)