#Some parts of the internet is still updating so if it doesn’t work for you now it will later

[jarofstyles]

Buttercream

Hello my loves! This is the first part to our Patreon exclusive series, Buttercream. The ready is available on Patreon (over 18 parts) and is still being updated. You all asked to see what’s available to read and I’m giving you sneaks of it!

A series featuring an Alpha Architect Harry, a bossy bakery owning omega Y/N, the sweetest treats taste tested and some steamy smut.

Check out our Patreon for all parts of the series and 150+ exclusive writings.

——-

The smell kept him coming back.

In his life, Harry had been to a quite a few bakeries. He could be considered an expert on fudge brownies, a specialist on cupcakes and the swirls of icing, a connoisseur of croissants. He treated himself a bit too often, if his mother had anything to say with it. His sweet tooth had always been prevalent in his life.

The new bakery down the road from his job, though? That had made him a true problem.

Every day before work, he stopped. Suit and all, pulling into the parking lot and nearly drooling the moment he got out. His feet carried him towards the door and the smell hit him immediately. Sweet buttercream, frothy vanilla, spiced cinnamon, and… something else. That something else that had him nearly vibrating, and now on a mission to have the whole menu to figure out just what the hell that scent was.

It was intoxicating. Mesmerizing. If Harry didn’t have work, he would spend hours just sitting here to smell it. It had a weird hold on him, and he didn’t quite know how to ask if it was an air freshener. That was unlikely for anywhere but restrooms anyways considering how offensive it could be for the noses of alpha’s and omegas alike. A bad scented one could send them into moods. Or even sickness. The sense of smell was very important.

“Mr.Styles.” The teen manning the cash register saluted him. He came in every day and was known to the cashiers, so he had ruled out it being one of them. Thank god. They were either young enough to not have a scent or too old for it to be possible. “What will it be today? Y/N’s been whipping up a storm for the holidays. New recipes. We’ve got a peppermint bark brownie that would go well with the peppermint mocha you like.” She chirped, watching as he scanned the cases.

Harry was a little intimidating but he was exceptionally charming. He smiled, he conversed, he tipped well, but he always seemed to be looking around. Trying to find something that no one could really place. The bakery was empty besides a mum and her friend with their kids, munching on treats and coffee as they watched the traffic go by. It wasn’t them. Harry’s ears did perk up when he heard an unfamiliar name.

“Y/N?” He asked, tilting his head as his attention went back to the cashier. “Who’s that? The owner?” Harry had never met the owner. For some reason, every time he came in the morning she had stepped out for her own break. It didn’t bother him so long as his compliments to the baker got passed along, but hearing her name stirred something in his chest.

“Yep.” She popped the p in her word. “She’s awesome. She started this all on her own after she went viral on the internet. She got the funds from online orders. You see the custom cakes and stuff but she does awesome experimental flavors. She doesn’t care if they’re hits or misses and let’s us go home with leftovers.” There was obvious pride to be working for someone like Y/N. It peaked his interest.

“Oh?” He asked, leaning his body against the counter. “That’s incredible. I’d be very happy to taste some of the new things.” He flashed a smile, tapping his card against the wood of the counter. “What would you think Y/N would suggest?” And why did saying her name make him feel silky and hot? Like it was meant to live on his lips? They tingled as the word left his mouth, making him shift his stance slightly. His skin was buzzing slightly as he heard someone else come from the back.

“She would suggest the peppermint bark brownies, the s’mores donut, the lemon cream cookie and the chili chocolate cupcake. Spice and sweet work surprisingly well together.” The airy voice went to his bones.

Harry could smell it fully now. The scent that laced the bakery was now engulfing him. Filling the space, making him inhale it with each breath. His hand tightened on the card, curling into a fist at his side as he caught a glimpse of her. She had been the source. It wasn’t a baked good or a cashier, but it was the baker herself that was making him addicted to the sweets laced with her scent.

He was silent as he observed her, a smile quirked on her lips. Slightly glossy and deliciously plump as she greeted the cashier with a simple hey and asking her to go to the back to grab the other new tray of cinnamon buns. Sliding them on to the rack, she used her hip to gently nudge the counter open and grabbed one for Harry.

“Here. On the house.” She slid the bag over to him with her soft simper, hands tapping on the wood.

She was marvelous.

Harry was speechless. Something he never usually was- the alpha could talk to a brick wall if he needed to- but this sweet little omega has been slowly hypnotizing him with her scent over the course of a month and now he was finally seeing her. He loved delayed gratification, a fan of edging, but this? He wished he had seen her far earlier.

“Hi.” He peeped. His face looked like he saw a ghost. The woman in front of him was like a mirage- and he wasn’t trying to be dramatic. He swore she was familiar to him in some way. Some how. She was all omega in the ways that called to him. The curve of her face and her soft voice… he could have started purring if he didn’t have some semblance of self control in his body.

“Hi.” She returned the greeting with a soft chuckle that heated his chest. “I hope you like the suggestions. I recognized your voice. You’ve been in here every morning we’re open and I figured it was about time to meet the loyal customer.” She chirped, brushing the stray hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ears. The adorably disheveled look added to her appeal.

A candy apple red apron was dusted with various baking material, tied around her waist snug. It showed the curve of her waist went deeper than what he could tell under her sweatshirt that appeared to have the bakery name printed on it. A swipe of flour was decorating her forehead, like she had wiped hair from her face and simply forgot about flour coated hands. Little details he was memorizing to think about later.

“I love the smell.” He blurted out. Immediately, he winced. That hadn’t been what he had meant to say, at least how he had meant to say it. Heat crept up further under his cheeks as he opened and closed his mouth, watching her giggle a bit as he tried to find his bearings.

“Fucking hell- I meant to say, I love your bakery. It smelled amazing when I went past it so I decided to stop in a few weeks ago and now it’s become a part of my daily routine. I bring in pastries for the office.”

“Aren’t you a star coworker.” She cooed, turning from him with a wink as she grabbed one of the red boxes and began to construct it. “They must love you at the office. I have on good authority that the one that brings the snacks, gets the pats on the back. Especially hand made, beautifully crafted baked goods.” She teased, opening up the case and beginning to place some sweets into it.

“I’d hope they like me. I’m their boss.” He laughed quietly, scratching the back of his neck. Never has he felt more like a schoolboy talking to a playground crush. He was head to toe in a suit good enough to meet his best clients, and a girl with flour on her face was sending him to his knees. Each time she moved, a gentle waft of her scent was given his direction and made that ever loved self control hang by a thread.

“Ooooo. Bossman.” She grinned, wiggling her brow as she placed another iced brownie with crushed peppermint bark sprinkled on top into the box. “Should have guessed. Love the suit, by the way. You look very handsome.”

That little compliment made his day. The pretty omega with the prettier smile and mouthwatering scent thought he looked handsome. That would be lingering in his brain all day. How she thought he was handsome. The casual compliments.

“Thank you.” He preened. “We do interior and exterior design for businesses. Up and coming places and remodels. So if you ever need a guy- I’m here.” He placed his hands in his pockets and lifted up on his toes rocking back and forth.

“Oooo. Is it that bad in here? Do I need a renovation?” She sucked her teeth, tilting her head. It had him freezing, mouth falling open to grovel. He hadn’t meant to offend her at all, hadn’t tried to insinuate it needed a remodel.

“Shit- no, I’m sorry. It’s very cute in here, I didn’t mean to insinuate it needed any help. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how it would sound-“

“Cool it, bossman.” She cooed, laughing at how he had nearly fallen over himself. “I’m just messing with you. The place does need some exterior work, actually. I hadn’t had the budget when we first started, nor the time. But I didn’t take any offense to it. You’ve got to market yourself. Don’t worry.” Her reassurance made him melt into relief, leaning into the counter. This whole encounter had him feeling a bit on edge in the weirdest way. He wanted to snuggle this woman, yet he was almost afraid of her. An omega. He was afraid of an omega.

Anyone else would laugh at him, perhaps, but he felt the nervousness creeping in his bones. He wanted her to like him. He wanted her to think he was cool and want to know him better. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. She had unarmed his normal charm and made him feel like a nervous bundle of sweat and it was exhilarating.

“I’ll take a card, though.” She placed her hand out flat. “If you’ve got one. I’m gonna check out your website.”

Harry fished one out of his wallet, thankful he kept them on hand. It had his office number, and part of him wanted to offer his personal cell but he knew that would be a bit weird. Especially if she wanted to use his services. He almost hoped she didn’t- asking a client on a date wasn’t good for the image, was it? He wasn’t sure.

“If you’ve got any questions you can reach out on the email there, it’s a direct line to me- or uh, I come in every day so.” He shrugged. “Around this time. You’ve got very good coffee too. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good hazelnut. People put a lot of syrups and things… but your shop does it the best.”

“Thank you.” She seemed chuffed with his praise. “I taste test everything with the crew here. You’ll be in for a treat. If you’re coming in every morning, do you think you’d want to be a bit of a guinea pig for me?” She slid the box across the counter. “I’ve been experimenting like my lovely employee was saying. But I’d love a real customers opinion. Even if it’s bad. I want to know what the consumer likes.”

Harry was shocked. Y/N was kind of treating him like a friend, like she valued his exact opinion. He couldn’t deny he felt exceptionally special. Having not only the owner of the bakery but an omega he had some sort of crush on suddenly want to sample the new things she sells and get his opinion on it.

“Oh- uh. Alright. Of course! I can do that.” He grinned shyly, handing his card over for her to pay for the things she had put into the box. “I come in every morning during the week so… you can just let me know what’s new to taste.” There was a giddiness in his stomach. An excuse to talk to her every day. Or at least a few times a week. He’s never really reacted this way to an omega before, the scent craving, the shyness he suddenly felt, all of it was so new to him and he was unsure how to navigate it but he didn’t want to stop. He only wanted more.

“Perfect. What is your name, by the way?” The card was handed back to him and there was slight disappointment their fingers didn’t brush, but Harry took today was a victory.

“Harry. Harry Styles. It’s lovely to meet you.”

“Y/N. I’m glad to meet you too. I hope to see more of you soon.”

[kirkscarr]

ok so i just finished my book cover for First, Best Destiny - Part 1 by the amazing @ophelia-j !!

admittedly i was going to wait until i actually attached the text block to the cover before i posted this haha, but i was SO excited after making this cover that i decided to just post it and then update with the finished product later!!

this book is absolutely embedded in my soul, and words cannot even describe how gorgeously it’s written. it’s a book that made me realize - hey, the adventure doesn’t end as you grow old.

you can read it here. i promise you won’t regret it!!!

anyways!!! here’s all of my other bookbinding steps for anyone interested.

cam’s somewhat incomplete bookbinding guide

please note that i am an AMATEUR hobbyist. please do not actually use this as a tutorial.

oh also!! bookbinding terminology will have a * by it which will be explained at the end in order to make this flow better. i’ll also link the tutorials i used at the end of this for anyone interested.

1) Formatting the document! I downloaded the original text as a PDF, and then designed a cover page, grabbed some art from the internet (i know, frowned upon, but this is just a personal copy so it is what it is), and then designed a table of contents and chapter icons!!

*side note! i added which episodes each chapter follows to the table of contents (pictured below) as this book was written as an accompaniment to TOS and the movies.

2) Next, I printed out all NINE HUNDRED PAGES??? admittedly i could have done it in less if I’d used a bigger page size, but sending things out to be printed is expensive so we made do. after printing, i folded them into signatures*.

*there’s an additional note about the paper i used at the end

3) punching out holes in all the signatures! although not technically necessary, I honestly don’t think i would’ve been able to sew this behemoth without doing it.

4) sewing the pages into a real!! actual!! book!! this was the part i was most nervous about. i’ve NEVER attempted to sew anywhere near this large of a book before, so i tried out a new method of sewing in hopes of making it a bit more sturdy. we won’t know if it worked until this book endures some wear and tear, but i’m pretty optimistic!

5) next up is glueing the spine! this is where it really hit me that a lot of bookbinding is just…glueing shit together. later i also added cardstock to the spine in hopes of helping it adhere to the cover better, and a book headband* for decoration.

5) now we’re onto the book cover!! they only sell bookboard in minor bulk around here, so we’re not even gonna discuss how much bookboard i now own… anyways! i glued the faux leather onto the bookboard and then let that dry.

6) last up! off to the cricket! a huge thank you to my friend for letting me borrow her cricket AND supplies! anywho, this is where i designed my cover art. i then adhered the design to the cover. after this step, i realized i…definitely need some kind of sealant - so, if any more seasoned bookbinders have suggestions for this i am all ears!!

all in all, this was a super fun project, and a great way to kill some time while i recover from surgery! i absolutely plan to bind the sequel at some point, but that may be a…ways away. i’m a STEM major and school starts back up soon so…time will be in short supply lol!

To be continued...

Terminology

*signature: group of sheets folded in half, to be worked into the binding as a unit.

*book headband: just look up a picture if you’re curious because tumblr says i can't add any more pictures lol.

*about the paper!! i actually got it from a local specialty paper store, but if you want something similar i've heard amazon has some good bookbinding alternatives!

Tutorials

please PLEASE go check out Jess Less on youtube. she's phenomenal. here are her vids and what i used them for.

don't laugh!! i actually stole MOST of my techniques straight from this video.

i used this one to help me format the book correctly! although i still ended up with some goofs haha (see: any pages on the left side have the page number in the margin LMAO).

[ventismacchiato]

38 just playing the part — making it big !

scaramouche x g!n reader

ACT FOUR

⇢ ˗ˏˋ time skip of four years ࿐ྂ

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ you and scara graduated two years ago at the top of your university, as expected, and have been in the industry for two years since then; age 23

✰ you’ve been dating for almost five years, since your sophomore year in college, and it’s been just as sweet as the first day you kissed him

✰ the deal was that scaramouche needed to land a major role in his first year or else he’d be forced to go to business school by his mother. miss lisa hooked you both up with jean, a well known manager, and you both snuck into the industry easily

✰ it started off with you two playing side characters in different shows and wasn’t until you both landed a movie together as both MCs that everyone’s eyes landed on you

✰ fans fell in love with your chemistry on screen and good looks to match, shipping your characters and even you two off set

✰ you send him tiktok edits of himself all the time like he’s so hot you can’t help it and fans always expose him when they catch him liking edits of you as well

✰ jean had advised you to keep your relationship a secret in the beginning just as precaution. when you both got nominated for best upcoming actors was when you kissed on stage and broke the internet and soft launched it. you guys started working more shows and movies together because directors loved that your chemistry was genuine

✰ scara preferred to do horror related projects, he had a liking for all the gore and excitement. (ex: all of us are dead, sweet home, scream) but he got cast in a lot of romance after going public with your relationship since you both became the youngest it couple…he doesn’t mind since it’s with you but put the man in some horror pls!

✰ ei never attended any premieres or events until two years later when her company’s clothes were featured in a movie premiere and she and scara reconciled but its still a bit awkward

✰ she did meet you though and offered you a model contract, scara had to drag you away from her

✰ miss lisa attends every single premiere you guys have and you both always send her vip tickets, she’s so so proud of you two

✰ you guys did move in together but are rarely home since you always have to travel for work

✰ you guys are engaged!! 💍

✰ you both got your friends to help with the proposal and when they found out you guys planned it on the same day they let you guys both propose to eachother. he pulled out the ring first which caused you to laugh and pull out yours

✰ working as an actor means you both travel a lot, so there’s not much time to plan a wedding. you guys are waiting to land a role in a nice scenic country you both like where your friends can fly in to have a small wedding 🤞

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ xiaoaether were the first couple to get married, they tied knot the moment they were out of college. you were part of aether’s groom party and scara was a part of xiao’s

✰ aether used his degree for a year, traveling and doing cartography work and posted travel vlogs with his sister to keep his friends updated and for xiao while they were apart. an agency reached out and scouted him to be a model so he eventually quit his former job to become one

✰ xiao completed his comp sci degree but enjoys being a dancer more, used his minor to become a backup dancer for idols and eventually gets promoted to becoming a choreographer. started off as venti’s backup dancer

✰ xiao goes viral every other week as that one sexy backup dancer

✰ xiao makes more than enough being an idol choreographer so aether could be a house husband if he really wanted but he likes to work as a model since it lets him travel

✰ they have two cats, a black and white one cus pets are better than kids 🪦

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ heizou opened a detective agency out of graduation and became top detective in the country

✰ kazuha submitted a song he produced and wrote with venti with his application and now works at Windblume with him

✰ writes half his lyrics about his love for heizou like he’s that type of bf

✰ kazuha hasn’t proposed yet because of his and heizou’s insane work schedules and he’s trying to perfect the way he’s going to do it. it’s hard to plan a secret proposal when your boyfriend is a renowned detective !!

✰ it’s the reason every surprise party kazuha has tried to throw fails miserably, heizou always finds out…

✰ kazuha has a following cus he’s sexy and everyone goes crazy over how sweet he is to heizou. he isn’t an idol but people still go crazy for him.

✰ sometimes he does livestreams and heizou will pop up and kazuha will go full heart eyes

✰ ‘kazuha being down bad for ten minutes’ compilations

✰ heizou sends edits of kazuha that fans make to kazu every morning and comments the most unhinged things on all of them he just like me fr

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ as promised, childe takes over the family company as ceo. his father was a more strict ceo so the employees were happy to work for someone so cheerful

✰ childe and kaeya both wanted a grand wedding and that’s exactly what they did, hosting it a few months after xiaoae’s wedding

✰ kaeya beat childe to proposing though

✰ kaeya doesn’t have to work a day in his life if he honestly doesn’t want to due to how much childe makes and that’s exactly what he does

✰ childe sponsors half the movies you and scara act in because he can and loves to see scara happy and the director always has him in a shot, usually someone doing a handstand in the background but childe loves it

✰ childe went viral after being on the top ten hottest ceo lists and after people found out he was besties with scaramouche

✰ scara does shout him out in a speech during an award show, thanking him for pushing him out of his comfort zone and childe starts bawling; it becomes a meme

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ albedo came out as venti’s partner on accident after he was spotted in a livestream and venti forgot to turn the camera off before he kissed albedo

✰ the fans went crazy cus albedo is sexy and now they have someone else to thirst over too

✰ albedo goes on to become a biochemist like he planned but he also paints all of venti’s album art in his free time. secretly owns a fan account to post venti fanart

✰ albedo asexual cus that’s hot

✰ yes that’s him and venti in the header me n who

✰ venti is his muse and he’s venti’s muse

✰ venti gets scouted and becomes a popular soloist idol and has the busiest work schedule along with you and scara

✰ xiao choreographs most of his stages and is one of his frequent backup dancers, he drives xiao insane most of the time

✰ has the best music fr and goes viral every other day, drinks on lives and always had a new dating rumor going on before ppl found out about albedo; his pr team is in shambles

✰ does soundtracks for most of the movies and shows you and scara are in and everyone loves how you guys are actually friends aside from working with each other #goals

✰ also not married, mainly because venti is way too busy so they’re probably the last couple in the group to tie the knot

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ lumine gets scouted by the same company as aether because they both had the same major and did vlogs together

✰ tries to host get togethers for the gang at least once a month and they usually manage to succeed

✰ got married a week after xiaoae, they were best friends to lovers fr like everyone knew it would eventually happen and yes everyone had a bet

✰ hu tao becomes an autopsy technician like she studied for and opens a clinic

✰ we love a women in stem #steminist

✰ lumine has to live with the taxidermy hu tao insists on purchasing as decor for their home …

✰ the only couple that actually doesn’t have to do long distance as frequently because lumine refuses to travel so she can stay with hu tao

✰ wlw goals fr

just playing the part !

masterlist — prev | next

synopsis: you and scaramouche are both drama majors and have been at each other’s throats vying for the same lead roles since high school. but when you’re both cast as each other’s love interest in your second year you’re forced to be civil with your academic rival and see him in a new light. are his feelings for you true or is he just playing the part?

author’s notes: hope you guys liked it this is my brainrot for everyone in the future and i had a final today while i was sick it was HELL COLLEGE IS A SCAM

taglist—CLOSED: @monochromaticelliot @kaedear @stxrgxzxr @shirmxie @elakari @lacy-lady @linn-a-a @one-offmind @kithewanderingme @quepasoash @leathernourishingshoepolish @mangobee @lxry-chxn @dameofthorns @kunihaver @kythe1a @elysiasbae @hikaru-exe @tokkishouse @raiihoshii @cherrybeomgyu @kunikuzushiit @thenightsflower @lilneps @goodthingimsam @lovelyiez @euhla @beriiov @abvolat @kittycasie @b0bafl0wer @bubblyclouds @atlatcaheart @artssleepy @baelloraa @tartagli-yuh @satowaluverr @hangesextra @scaranaris-lil-niko @caffinatedcoma @wheneverthesunrise @hajimeseyo @itsyourgirlria @hyunrei @redactedhimbo @caliginous-skies @vinskyspuff @miissfortune @criminalinthemaking @scaramouches-girlfriend @scrmgf [1/3]

[wordstome]

Thanks for everything, but it’s time to close up shop.

Hello, everybody. Sorry for this post being a portent of doom, but I feel like you all deserve better than radio silence. Originally, I went on hiatus because I got busy with school and work. This is still true—real life is getting in the way of me being able to write creatively, which I haven’t done in a while.

However, I think it would only be fair for me to admit that I’m just not as into COD anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been into the games and always have been a fan of the little fandom of writers here, but I have to admit that part of my difficulty writing is just not being as into the content anymore. Most of it is just naturally moving on from something you used to like, but I also feel uninspired and weird about the idea of writing fanfiction about the military nowadays.

TO BE CLEAR: I don’t suddenly think that all my fellow writers are doing something problematic and amoral, and I vehemently do not want my departure from creating fan works to be used as some sort of gotcha to attack other writers. I don’t think any of us respect the military or US imperialism (I hope not) and I think the tumblr subsection of fandom is especially aware that COD is military propaganda. What we do here is writing about characters, not the institution they operate in. A lot of cod fanfiction doesn’t even take place in the military. I also haven’t drifted away because some writers make heavier/darker content, so I’m squashing that discourse before it has a chance to start.

It would also be disingenuous to say that I drifted away solely because of fandom discourse, but it certainly didn’t help. Thankfully, I only caught the tail end of a recent…controversy? Discourse? Involving other creators. It’s exhausting and disheartening to see this sort of thing happen, but I also realize it’s kind of inevitable that feathers will be ruffled when subjects like racism against Gaz are addressed, and that doesn’t mean we should just stop talking about those subjects. I don’t have a good solution to this and I don’t mean to complain about something that’s just a part of human nature. I just can’t pretend that it isn’t really demoralizing to see people acting poorly and the internet slapfights that result from it. I hope those involved in the recent incident are taking care of themselves. ❤️

Anyway, if you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. I have a lot of love left for this fandom, and especially my fellow creators who I have come to consider genuine friends. I feel a deep obligation to everyone who reads and interacts with my work, and I can’t continue to leave people waiting when I know it is, most likely, over. So, to be clear: this is the end of my COD writing journey. I won’t be writing any more or continuing any of my fics.

All of my works, both here and on AO3, will remain up, so you don’t have to worry about anything being deleted. I’m still grateful to cod for bringing my zest for writing back, even if it was only for a handful of months. And if you guys want to see unpublished drafts (like for kingdom come), have questions, or simply want to know my plans for fics that won’t be finished/want to know how they end, please send me asks or reach out! I would love to talk about it. Mutuals are, as always, extremely welcome in my DMs, and it means the world to me that people have been checking in on me during my hiatus.

TLDR:

I’m leaving for good. None of my fics will be deleted, but they won’t be updated anymore. I won’t be active on this blog, but I’ll still check in once in a while to answer any asks or questions about my fics.

I don’t think this will happen, but it’s worth saying: please don’t use my departure to make sweeping generalizations about the fandom or start more discourse. I just drifted away and lost interest. Take care of yourselves.

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - chapter two | the lights are so bright but they never blind me

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.1k

summary: you have to adjust to life in the public eye as ben’s supposed girlfriend...and ben has to adjust to the sight of you wearing his chelsea kit to a game

A/N: thanks for more lovely messages, they really encourage me to update faster lol! i’m sorry this one’s a bit shorter, the next update will definitely be longer 😌 chapter title is from welcome to New York

previous chapter | view all chapters

The morning after the gala, you wake up in Ben’s guest room feeling relaxed and refreshed.

You always seem to get a better sleep when you stay at his, though you’re not sure if that’s due to his comfy mattress and expensive sheets or the fact that he lives out in Cobham and it’s significantly quieter than your own flat.

This state of relaxation lasts for about five minutes, or until you get a text from your friend Valerie asking if you’ve been on Twitter today.

Bracing yourself, you open the app and already see Ben’s name trending.

You’ve gained some followers over the years when Ben has posted you on his socials, but it’s nothing compared to the way people are currently talking about you all over the internet.

It’s not just on Twitter - your Instagram following count has already grown exponentially, and your comments are filled with everything under the sun, from praise to cruelty.

You know Ben gets shit like this all the time, and Mia warned you it would be coming your way, but it’s still surreal to read about yourself online.

Especially when none of it is true. Even the nice tweets about what a lovely couple you make are based on a lie.

You can’t resist going down the rabbit hole for a few minutes, reading pages of tweets from Ben’s fans speculating about your relationship, some negative and some positive. Eventually, you can feel your brain starting to hurt, and you know it’s in your best interest to shut your phone off for a while.

Begrudgingly, you force yourself to get out of bed and face the day. You make your way downstairs in your pyjamas, stretching your arms out as you enter the kitchen.

Ben is already awake, like he usually is at this time, and he’s standing by the stove in joggers and an old Nike sweatshirt, flipping pancakes that you know are not a part of his diet plan.

“Pancakes?” you question, startling Ben a bit as he turns to face you.

“Morning,” he says with a small smile. “Yeah, with blueberries. They’re for you. Figured it’s the least I could do since-“

“Since I’m being torn apart online by football fans?” you joke - or, at least, you mean it as a joke.

Ben’s face falls, his eyes wide with concern, and he sets down the spatula to walk over to you.

“I am so sorry, Y/N,” he says seriously. “I didn’t know it would be like this. I’ve obviously never had a real girlfriend before, so I didn’t think about it.”

“Ben, it’s-”

“I called Shreya as soon as I saw everything and had her prepare an exit strategy, she’s already confirmed our relationship to the press but she thinks we can back out of it if-“

“Ben,” you say a bit more firmly, placing a hand on his arm. “Why would we need to back out of this? Does she not think it’s working?”

Ben just blinks at you for a moment before shaking his head. “Well, no, actually. Apparently I’m getting great press from it, and you’re the one getting all the shitty comments. But I-”

“I’m fine with it, then,” you shrug. “I’ll just make my Instagram private, you know I don’t really care about social media anyways. I’ll be fine.”

Ben still doesn’t look convinced.

“Are you sure? I hate the thought of you having to read that crap,” he mumbles. “I’m used to the pricks, but you shouldn’t have to be.”

“It’s fine, Ben, I swear,” you insist, squeezing his shoulder. “Actually, some of your fans seem to like me. Or they like that I supposedly keep you grounded or whatever bullshit Shreya fed the press.”

“Well, that part’s not total bullshit,” Ben says with a small smile that makes your cheeks flush slightly. “Thank you again for doing this. And you can still change your mind at any time, you know.”

“I know,” you say, mirroring his smile. “Now hurry up before you burn my pancakes.”

“Oh, shit!”

-

By the next weekend, you’ve gotten pretty used to “dating” Ben.

You go private on your socials as you discussed, with the official statement from Ben’s publicist being that you two ask for privacy as a new couple. Naturally, this only makes everyone more interested, including the media.

As Shreya hoped, the headlines now describe Ben as a “man in love” and someone ready to “settle down with a nice girl.” There are tabloid articles with pictures of you two - some from before you were even pretending to date - and all the information they could dig up on you, including your job.

It’s all a bit weird, but the weirdest part is definitely when you have to actually corroborate your story of being Ben’s girlfriend. Which, as far as everyone outside your inner circle is concerned, you now are.

It definitely feels strange lying when, for example, one of the doctors you work with congratulates you on your relationship. (Turns out her son is a Chelsea fan and she wants to know if you could ask him to sign a kit or something, which you promise to make happen.)

You’re relieved when the only event you have to attend this weekend is Ben’s game, which you would’ve gone to anyways. You’re also going with his sister Alex, who is obviously in on the whole thing, which makes it easier.

She meets you at your flat, which is conveniently only about ten minutes away from Stamford Bridge on the tube, an hour before the game.

After you tightly embrace Ben’s sister, who is like a younger sister to you as well, she grins and passes you a small gift bag.

“You got me a present?” you ask in confusion.

“It’s not from me, it’s from Ben,” she chuckles. “He also said to say he’s sorry and that it was Shreya’s idea.”

You open the bag and pull out a familiar article of clothing - a brand new Chelsea shirt with Ben’s name on the back.

Of course, as Ben’s girlfriend, it would make sense that you be wearing his kit.

“Oh, god, let me go change.”

Once you’ve replaced the plain blue t-shirt you were wearing with the shirt Ben sent over, you walk back out and find Alex with an amused look on her face.

“How do I look?” you ask a bit sarcastically as you do a twirl.

“Like a proper WAG,” Alex laughs. “Let’s go, my future sister-in-law.”

You groan as Alex grabs you by the arm and you depart for the match.

Although you’ve come to see Ben play at the Bridge more times than you can count, you have never felt this many eyes on you as you make your way to your seats. There are people not-so-subtly taking your photo as you walk up, probably made all the worse by the Chilwell kit you have on - though you suppose that’s the point.  

The match begins, and you cheer at the top of your lungs for Chelsea, just as you have from the day Ben signed for them. You never really cared that much about football, and you didn’t support any particular club growing up, but you’ve always been Ben’s number one fan.

Today, he’s playing well, making you as proud as ever. It’s not hard to pretend to be the supportive girlfriend when every flawless pass or run forward has you leaping out of your seat with unrestrained enthusiasm.

At half-time, Chelsea are up by 1 against Newcastle, and you and Alex are happily chatting and catching up over a beer.

“I saw all the pics of you guys at the gala on Twitter,” Alex says with a smirk on her face, lowering her voice so nobody overhears. “I know it’s weird to say since you’re basically part of the family, but you actually look quite good together.”

“Ew, Alex, there’s no way,” you insist, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks. “He’s…Ben.”

Alex just laughs and drops the subject as the game resumes and the boys come back out of the tunnel.

Around the 85th minute, with the score now tied 1-1, Ben comes running up the side and makes an excellent pass to Conor, who scores and secures the win. You jump out of your seats to cheer as the guys celebrate on the pitch, you rolling your eyes with affection as Ben and Conor jump up and down with excitement.

The whistle blows shortly after with Chelsea leaving victorious, and you and Alex make your way down to the tunnels to meet up with Ben. With this being their fourth win in a row, the atmosphere at the Bridge is electric, a far cry from last year’s rough season.

It’s so nice to see Ben so happy again, and the smile on his face only seems to grow tenfold when he spots you and Alex making your way over to him.

You can’t resist picking up your pace to a light jog as you move toward him, and his arms are already open to pull you into a tight hug that lifts your feet off the ground and makes your heart soar in a similar fashion.

“That assist was brilliant,” you murmur into his shoulder before he sets you down.

Ben pulls away, still beaming at you, his sweaty hair curled down over his forehead.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiles, his eyes wandering to the shirt you’d almost forgotten you were wearing.

It’s not the first time you’ve worn his kit - his England debut and the Champions League final come to mind - but those were special occasions, with the rest of his friends and family wearing it too. This is obviously different, and although Ben sent it over for you to wear, his eyes are locked to you like he’s trying to memorize every thread of the fabric.

You can’t figure out why he seems so transfixed, but you don’t have much time to dwell on it before you’re interrupted.

Alex clears her throat, snapping Ben out of whatever trance he was in, and he pulls her in for a hug.

“So, to celebrate the win and Ben’s assist, I’m thinking he should take us out for a nice dinner?” Alex suggests, smiling and nudging your arm.

“Shouldn’t you be buying me dinner?” Ben raises an eyebrow. When you both just laugh, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Alright. I’ll go shower, you make a reservation somewhere.”

After you and Alex have picked out the fanciest-looking sushi place you could find online and collected Ben from the changing rooms, you make your way to his car. Just like after every game, the paparazzi are out trying to get videos and photos of the players leaving the stadium.

This time, however, most of the attention seems to be directed at you.

The lights begin to flash the moment you exit the building, and Ben reaches down to take your hand without a second of hesitation. Whether it’s to flaunt your “relationship” further or just to comfort you, you’re not sure, but it’s definitely working either way.

“Y/N, did you enjoy the match today?”

You know you don’t have to answer any of their questions, but you’d rather not be branded as cold or rude as the media loves to do when a woman ignores them.

So you squeeze Ben’s hand and nod, smiling at the man recording you.

“Of course, the team played really well.”

“And what did you think of Ben’s performance?” they fire back at you.

“He was amazing,” you say without missing a beat. “I always love watching him on the pitch.”

You can see Ben smiling at you as you speak - a genuine smile that you know has nothing to do with the cameras surrounding you - but he startles you slightly when he leans in to peck your cheek and lets his lips linger there for a moment. They’re soft and warm against your skin, and you feel significantly colder when they pull away.

You’ve clearly spurred on the media even more with this sudden display of affection, but Ben begins to pull you along with him and help you into the car before either of you has to answer any more questions.

You breathe out a sigh of relief as you settle into the passenger seat, Ben and Alex entering the car moments later.

“Nice show, you two,” Alex laughs, obviously still amused by the sight of you and Ben pretending to be a couple.

“You okay, Y/N?” Ben asks, looking over at you. “Sorry if the cheek kiss was too much. I know it’s a bit awkward.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you assure him, rolling your eyes. “It’s fine. Of course it’s gonna be awkward sometimes, but as long as it’s helping with the PR plan, right?”

Ben nods gratefully and smiles at you once more before asking Alex for directions to the sushi place.

You’re grateful for her chatting away about how hungry she is, and for the song Ben is playing loudly through the speakers as you drive to the restaurant, both of which are helping to distract you from how alarmingly not awkward this all feels.

A/N: let me know what your thoughts are after this chapter!! things start to heat up in the next one i promise ;)

tag list: @lunamelona @kathb59 @captainwans​ @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @cinderellawithashoe​ @batmansb1tch​ @ncentic​ (let me know if you would like to be added!)

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

(touching earpiece) I'm getting word that there may, in the near future, be only one bed.

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

“I thought you were a kid at first, when I first saw you,” the kid said, appearing at Lou’s elbow. She had gotten dressed without drying off enough and there was a little body-shaped damp mark bleeding through her baggy overalls. She was cute, with big front teeth and a chin-length bob. Lou was never stable enough to even consider having any herself, even in a mythical ‘some day’, but she liked kids. She always had. As soon as she stopped being a hand herself, she had used all the power she had to make sure the hands that worked under her still had time to be kids. You had to give them time and space to fuck around and have fun.

“Me?” Lou asked.

“Because you’re so small,” the kid said. 

“Sorry pard, just a small adult,” Lou said. “Hate to disappoint.”

She brought her hand up to measure Lou’s height compared to hers. “I’m as tall as you are,” she said.

“Like foot you are,” Lou said. She wasn’t, but she wasn’t that far off, either.

“Am so,” the kid said.

“Not even hardly,” Lou said. It was fun to get faux-defensive with a kid. It riled them up. “Rub the dang salt out your eyes and look again.”

“She doesn’t mean anything by it,” a diver who hadn’t yet spoken up said. Lou hoped she hadn’t thought she was picking on the kid too much. “Like we said, we lost several of our children very recently. Aoi’s lost her playmates.”

“I’m not a baby,” Aoi said, frowning at her. “I don’t have ‘playmates’.”

“I lost my dad and my sisters to a sickness, too. When I was just a little girl,” Lou said. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t easy and it was just the three of them.”

Aoi scrunched her nose in an expression Lou didn’t know how to interpret before dashing back ahead to the front of the group.

[hiveworks]

Hiveworks x InkBlot Partnership & Interview with CEO Jay Brown

June 2023

Hiveworks is proud to announce our partnership with InkBlot! InkBlot is a new queer-run and artist-made social platform for creators and their audiences, with similar vibes to DeviantArt or Pixiv.

We are so excited to help an emerging platform by providing advertising support, working together to help the webcomic community grow with one of the things we do best.

We asked InkBlot CEO Jay Brown to talk with us more about InkBlot, its origins and its future.

. 🦋🐝.

How did the idea for InkBlot originate?

InkBlot started on a call with some friends of mine. I was upset and talking about how social media at that time (and unfortunately still even now) had been suppressing creators. Instagram was my biggest source for my other company selling my designs and merch. It still is, but the reach is minimal and nothing compared to how it was 4 years ago. Then, on top of that, DeviantArt hadn't been listening to its user base about an update they were rolling out. As a person that doesn't like to talk about it but be about it, I set to work making wireframes and getting ideas for InkBlot, building the prototype at my kitchen counter.

We're seeing a cultural shift in how people interact with social media. How would you describe InkBlot's place in the future digital landscape?

InkBlot is certainly a social space for creators and lovers of the arts, and I think I like to really emphasize that it is a community space. It is first and foremost a space that will cater to a specific community and the supporters of that community. It is NOT Twitter. We will never be like Twitter, nor do we want to. There are estimated to be about 16 million people around the world that take part in the creative arts. This doesn’t include music, writing, animation, or comics (source? Trust me– jk Global Art Market). So with that being said, InkBlot exists for a large group of people, mainly artists, but also slowly expanding into other areas like music, voice acting, writing. That’s why we refer to users as creatives/creators, and I quite frankly don’t think it matters if we cater to a niche. This niche is huge and life is one big canvas. In this day and age, the internet is very hostile to creators, especially ones that cannot keep up with the algorithms that consume and churn ‘content’ at paces faster than creatives can make them. InkBlot is here to slow things down, have people enjoy the process and connect with others that do the same.

What is missing from artists' online experience that InkBlot aims to fulfill?

Community. The creative community has been shattered into so many different parts of the internet. We have taken residence in places that weren't made for us and still don’t even think of us. We are stronger together, and InkBlot is here to make a permanent home that is built by and owned by the community.

From an adult artist perspective, InkBlot's content guidelines are pretty clear and generous compared to other content hosting sites. What motivated this decision?

There is really nothing more important than keeping every part of the community. This includes the NSFW/adult spaces. The content guidelines are shaped to still allow for the freedom of the arts. You cannot say you are a space for the community, yet completely cut out a part of it. So many spaces have forced out the NSFW community and with it has also scorched the LGBTQIA+ community. There is something deeper here about this, but I won't write an essay. In short, it is important to keep all parts of the community regardless if it's SFW or NSFW.

Hiveworks is also a queer-run, artist-made organization, with a focus on webcomics. What is your perspective on the value of queer spaces online, particularly for creatives?

It is super important. In a world where queer folks are constantly ‘up for debate’ and our existence is a ‘political ticket’, we need to have a space online for ourselves. It is so very important to have a safe space in a world that constantly tries to erase us. Spaces like Hiveworks and InkBlot give people hope. It gives people a chance to connect with other queer creators and find that they aren’t alone. Making media that is queer is more important than ever right now. Even if it is just one person, it can save someone.

Speaking of comics, do you have a favorite comic (print or digital) or a recently read recommendation?

I am a big fan of Novae by KaiJu, Lies Within by Lacey & Golden Shrike by doeprince

For people who want to see InkBlot grow, what is the best way for them to support you?

The biggest thing is getting the word out about InkBlot and USING IT! Use it, even if it’s just once or twice a week. We need to know what people want to see, how it differs from what people use now, or if we should make it similar to those other tools. Of course, we are user-funded so supporting us through our Kofi or on-site premium works, too! Lastly, give us patience! Rome wasn’t built in a day.

PS: Bee on the lookout! InkBlot users will notice that Hiveworks creators on the site have a little bee badge to help make identifying your fave creators easier!

Badge artist: Ray Armstrong

[deathblacksmoke]

Dramamine—Part 2

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Nick Ruffilo

Series Summary: Cynical, brooding bartender Nick meets too-earnest, pretty boy singer Noah when The Rabbit’s Foot starts hosting an open mic night.

CW: Light angst, pining, self-doubt/self-loathing

*Content warnings will be updated by chapter*

Word Count: 1.2K

Taglist: @concretenoah / @ladyveronikawrites / @circle-with-me / @darksigns-exe / @xxrainstorm / @monotoniscreaming / @agravemisstake / @iknownothingpeople

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future fics!

Author's Note: Thank you as always Lady V for the beta and for everyone encouraging (and hand-holding) me through this series.

dividers by @cafekitsune 💐

If anyone asks, he’s never heard of Noah Sebastian Davis. He didn’t go home and do his best, non-creepy internet stalk. He didn’t find a YouTube profile full of covers and make himself late for work, unable to stop watching. He isn’t spending any amount of time more than what’s normal thinking about the long-haired and pretty-faced boy that just waltzed into his bar and burrowed his way into his chest, causing a hollow ache in his gut. He hasn’t made himself sick to his stomach about it.

See you next week echoes in his brain. He can’t stand it.

He can’t have this feeling meaning what he’s worrying it means. He doesn’t know him and he doesn’t feel this way about anyone. Not anymore. He hasn’t for over 700 days and he never will again. It’s a promise he made to himself, so it’ll pass. It has to pass.

“Is this everyone for tonight?” Nick asks Jolly, holding up the open mic schedule to him. He tries his best to play like he’s not disappointed, but he can’t deny that his heart sank when he noticed a name missing.

Granted, he hasn’t tried very hard to move past this, but he’s had a week. He’s had 7 days to figure his mind out, get a little understanding on why he’s so stuck on this, why after all this time of nothing—of suffering—his brain has decided that romantic feelings are possible for him again, and why it’s so hyperfixated on this person. He doesn’t know what it is about him, and he doesn’t even know him. He knows he can get over it, because he has to. This isn’t an option. He’s had a week to prepare to see Noah again, worried about how he’ll act normal.

It seems that he won’t have to worry about any of that tonight, but his chest feels heavy and his dismay is clear when he slams the list back down on the bar. He doesn’t want to admit that he came in this morning a little happier than normal, a dull excitement buzzing through his limbs. He hoped no one noticed, but he caught Folio smirking at him and he found himself not caring. He doesn’t want to admit that the missing name deflated him.

“That’s everyone for now,” Jolly answers. Nick’s body feels heavy, immediately slumping. “We have some space left for last-minute slots if anyone shows up. We had a few last week.”

He refrains from asking who the last-minute additions were last week. He doesn’t want to be too obvious—he fears he already is. He wants to ask Jolly if he still has the list from last week, so he can look at it and see if Pretty Boy is just a poor planner.

Instead, he sinks back into his normal self. He refuses to get his hopes up. He refuses to deal with the humiliation if he allows himself to hope and Noah doesn’t show. It’s better this way.

To his irritation, the turnout this week is much better than last. Gavin isn’t turning people away at the door this time, but when Nick takes a look around at the packed bar, he wonders if maybe he should be. His bar stools have been full all night and it’s a little claustrophobic. 

The tips are good enough to make it worth it, but he’s teetering the line between okay and overwhelmed. The bar hasn’t been this busy in years, not even on a weekend night. He doesn’t remember how to handle it all with grace, not actually sure that’s a talent he’s ever had.

The patrons seem to be endeared by his piss poor attitude, somehow. They’re handing him $20 bills, signing their receipts with little hearts, scrawling their phone numbers on the back. He tries to hide the way it makes him feel a little nauseated to flirt back. He has a feeling they don’t find themselves in places like this often, a grouchy tattooed bartender a novelty. It exhausts him, turns his stomach, even as he pockets the bills that will keep his lights on for the month.

He’s grateful, at least, for the distraction. The swaths of people packed into the building, the constant line of people at his bar, it’s enough to keep him from wondering if Noah is somewhere in that crowd. It’s keeping his thoughts of where is he? what is he doing? why do I care? at bay, for the moment.

He’s just gotten the hang of it when he catches something familiar out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey guys, I’m Noah—” and suddenly Nick’s vision narrows.

He can almost feel the hearts forming in his pupils, and he has half a mind to be embarrassed, but the other half is too focused to care. When he starts strumming a Rilo Kiley song, it’s so painfully earnest that he can’t help but feel endeared. He can’t ignore the way his cheeks warm.

Now, some days, they last longer than others But this day by the lake went too fast

“What’s that look all about?” Folio asks him, pulling Nick from his thoughts immediately. He does feel embarrassed now, rolling his eyes to help push it away. 

It’s less embarrassing if you react with an angry annoyance, he figures.

“Shut the fuck up, Folio.”

He doesn’t see Noah after he finishes his slot. He figures he played and left and that’s okay. He doesn’t take it personally. He’s too busy tonight to worry about it, anyway. Even as the open mic has ended, the swath has only thinned out slightly. He may actually have to do a last call tonight.

He doesn’t let out a sigh of relief when he looks to the door and sees Noah walking through it, slouched over in a way that looks terribly uncomfortable, especially since he’s still towering over everyone here.

He pulls a Yuengling from the fridge as Noah approaches the bar, not caring to feel shame at the fact that he remembered. Noah smiles sweetly when Nick slides it to him without having to ask, pulling a $10 bill from his pocket and handing it over.

“What are the chances of someone giving me a ride home tonight?” Noah asks, and he’s so shy that Nick finds himself wanting to do anything he asks. He reminds himself that he can’t. He needs to move past it.

“Uber?” Nick says with a laugh, and Noah shakes his head, face souring in a way that could almost make Nick feel guilty. He won’t ask why. “Well, how did you get here?”

“I drove,” Noah says, making Nick raise his eyebrows. Noah isn’t drunk, and hasn’t been up to the bar tonight before now. “They booted my car,” Noah continues, visibly cringing. Nick feels a little soft for him. “I have a lot of unpaid parking tickets.”

He’s glad Folio fucked off to who knows where because he’s not around to hear this, tease Nick for going soft. 

“All right, pretty boy, give me an hour and I’ll give you a lift.”

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 9

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here.

1301

Q: Shu, what’s the flower language for the Tibetan Sea Flower? A: The distance of a step. (T/N: this is a proverb meaning something that is very close either in distance or as in close to success.)

1302

Q: If the black spot’s tunnels can go from Inner Mongolia to Mount Kunlun, doesn’t that mean that it’s a good candidate for making train tracks? Could it be that the few key locations have tunnels connecting them? When Xiaoge disappeared during the West Queen, did he go somewhere tens of kilometers away?

A: Uh… That’s not my profession. 

1303

Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, I really need to know this. When Hei Xiazi and Xie Yuchen finish their mission and go back to their hotel at night, would they chat and drink wine to unwind?

A: On the way, Hei Xiazi would suggest eating at all the street food stalls but would be rejected every time. In the end, the two of them would buy some bread and make do with sitting by the city’s river.

1304

Q: Why does the Zhangs' names always have to do with seafood? Then why isn’t there a Zhang Cuyu? (T/N: Zhang Vinegar Fish.)

A: Now there is. It’s you.

1304

Q: Does Wu Xie like to eat Chinese bayberries? Would he go up to the hills to harvest bayberry during summer while sightseeing the spring in the hills and then make bayberry wine?

A: He likes them but worries that there’s bugs [inside them].

1304

Q:Sanshu, Sanshu, can you describe Hei Xiazi and Xie Yuchen’s story in Iceland in three characters? A: Insanely crazy. (T/N: this was four characters in chinese.)

1305

Q: I would like to know how Sanshu picks the questions to answer. Do you just scroll and pick whichever that you like?

A: [I pick] the ones that I have answers for at first glance. I won’t answer those that require me to think for half a day.

1305

Q: Lei, why do you say that you want to lose weight every year? But why are you still a little fatty every year? Did you say that you’ll do Pilates? Didn’t you say that you want to act as Wu Xie? How will this work if you lack determination?

A: I walked ten thousand steps at 5am yesterday.

1307

Q: What is Hei Xiazi better at, the violin or the erhu?

A: Violin, but musical instruments are interconnected.

1311

Q: Shu, will we see Zhang Yixing act as Eryue Hong again in this lifetime? The prettiest Honghong.

A: I don’t know. Leave it to fate. I’m very chill. (T/N: the term he used here “佛“ is an internet slang meaning to be unconcerned, let things be like Buddha would. )

1312

#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A# A lot of people wanted to know how the paper dolls move around. You’ll understand it after looking at this explanation picture about the Kumuli Snake Disaster from Zang Hai Hua.

1317

Q: Is it a leader-follower relationship between the big paper doll and the small paper doll? Then why did Wu Xie see the big paper doll eating the small paper doll?

A: Snakes eating snakes.

1319

Q: I can't stop thinking about this: When Wu Xie and the gang are on the road of adventure for so long, would their hair get oily? How do they deal with this? Would they bring shampoo and wash up now and then? A: What’s wrong with Xie oil? Is Xie-oil inauspicious? (T/N: the comments say that there’s a pun here, but I can’t figure out what’s the pun.)

1323

Q: Does Zang Hai Hua’s Zhang Qiling’s muscular body fit your imagination? A: It’s not bad.

1326

Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, when there’s nothing to do around Yucun, would Wu Xie feel like his current life is like a dream?

A: This feeling is very nuanced. A dream is too shallow of a description.

just one update for today! i've gotten a bit lazy with translating today because there are a few long ones in a row... wah wah wah whine whine.

[rallamajoop]

Tiny Follow Me Home preview/update

In news unrelated to my ongoing gay vampire relapse, just sent the latest chapter of Follow Me Home off to my beta tonight. Not sure how soon she'll get the chance to look it over for me, but in the meantime, have a quick preview of a little moment with Mia, that I suspect is going to get a bit lost in the full chapter once it goes up.

*

He finds Mia downstairs on the couch with Rose and a story book ‒ the normal kind, filled with kid-friendly colourful pictures. Miranda’s book of extra-grim fairy tales hasn’t been seen since the night she was shot, and he’d call that good riddance if he wasn’t pretty sure it’s around the house somewhere. He’s still not sure what happened to it.

"Hey," Mia greets him. "Sleep okay?" Rose burbles at him and holds out her arms to her papa for good-morning hugs.

Ethan takes her for a cuddle, muscles working mostly on automatic. "Not really. What time is it?"

"After ten," says Mia. "Woulda woke you sooner, but you looked like you needed the rest."

Ethan only wishes it'd done him more good. "Is our guest around?"

Mia tilts her head back towards the stairs. "In his room, I think. He's got my laptop again."

"Right..." Ethan had mostly forgotten Heisenberg ever asked for it. What he’s been up to with Mia’s laptop feels like exactly the kind of problem he’d be worried about on a better day; right now, a little issue like that can take a number.

"If it makes you feel better," offers Mia, reading his expression, "he hasn't been up to anything too nefarious. A lot of wikipedia and some news, mostly. Looked up a few names I didn't recognise. He found our family photos folder too." She smiles as though she thinks that's charming, blissfully ignorant that there might be anything untoward in Heisenberg looking for photos of Ethan specifically – and damnit, Ethan is not ready for this kind of guilt-trip before coffee. He's not nearly awake enough yet to deal with Mia-the-secret-agent either, casually snooping through their guest's internet history like it's no big deal.

At least he did tell her not to trust Heisenberg; she’s not working on zero information.

"Is that all?" he asks, vaguely.

"Pretty much," Mia’s smile turns a little sly, "unless you wanna know what I'm learning about his taste in porn."

"I really don't." Give or take the part of Ethan that kind of does. Oh please let Heisenberg not have been googling 'hot blond twinks' or something. Mia doesn't even seem bothered that he's been using her laptop to look at porn. It's probably a good thing, from her perspective ‒ suggests he's not being too cautious about hiding whatever he's been up to.

Either way, odds are that Mia’s put together that Heisenberg’s into men by now. If Ethan doesn’t tell her something soon, she’s going to figure it out on her own. It’s not like Heisenberg could find ‘subtle’ in a dictionary.

Well, at least if Heisenberg’s on Mia’s laptop, that should keep him out of trouble for a while. Ethan’s in no state to deal with him this morning, and doubly so before coffee.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Pinned Fanfiction Post! Updated 9/25/24.

Psst… there's a way to support my writing now (and thank you Kraiva, Som, Charlie, Flamia, Bree, and more who encouraged me to do it).

Fandoms:

The Magnus Archives

Malevolent (Podcast)

Deviser (Podcast)

I'm bad at updating this, my apologies! It's all on AO3, folks.

Latest:

Malevolent

BIG BANG: BUT IT BEATS THE DARKNESS AO3 || Tumblr

The Magnus Archives

"T" IS FOR TOMB - a bittersweet sad post-TMA one-shot AO3 || Tumblr

The Magnus Archives x Malevolent

CORRUPTED, chapter 24: Fogged. A Tim Stoker x The King in Yellow weird romance because I am strange. AO3 || Tumblr

Loads of Surrogate updates, as per usual. :) The last few:

Like Father - Faroe makes a dangerous decision

Message Received - Kayne bitching because we were too busy to write

Strained - the beginning of fallout from Faroe's choices.

Nightingale - Something with Arthur is very, very wrong.

FINISHED FICS:

(This needs some serious revision! For now, be sure to check my AO3 profile until I get this part cleaned up.)

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

AND EAT IT, TOO

The voice gets under his skin. Is it pleasing or terrifying? Inside his head or out? Is it even real, or is his still-human brain just cobbling monster-sounds into something he can comprehend? It’s impossible to get out of his head, whether literal or not. Doesn’t matter, though, because the answer Michael gives is a terrible one, and ends the same way: Gertrude could protect herself, Jon can’t, and he’s going to die for her sins.

Playlist available here.

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A THOUSAND WORDS

It’s coming, Jon. You know something is; something that itches, that nags, that hides just out of view. Our glorious future is coming.

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QUIT

It’s a stupid-drafty manor—huge, never properly lit, all its frippery fraying at the edges. It has literal skeletons in the walls. It has a foyer right out of Crimson Peak, an empty cement hole with crumbling cherubs in the back yard that might have once been someone’s idea of a pond, and a library with more cursed books than Gerry could shake a match at. The part of Gerry that once used Sharpies to blacken his eyebrows loves this place with a truly unholy passion. If only it didn’t belong to the reason the world was going to end.

Playlist available here.

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TULIPS IN SPRING

Martin crawled back into bed like he’d crawled through the burned-flesh hole in his heart, and knew he still loved Jon. Martin knew Jon loved him, too. Jon had thrown away godhood for him, like it hadn’t mattered. Maybe it hadn’t.Jon loved him, and that meant they could fix this.All Jon had to do was wake up.

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CRUCIBLE

Martin's been having dreams.He doesn't understand them. Surely, if Jon had ever looked like that, with unreal wings and a crown of spinning eyes, he would have remembered. But his memory isn't working as well as it should right now, and Jon never blinks. Martin is afraid.

Inspired by The Watcher’s Crown by @raynecreates

Note: this is angst. Somewhere Else goes very, very wrong.

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INSTANT NOODLES (crack fic)

At least his new hobby kept him occupied in the evenings, when too much time to think turned to wretchedness. It just so happened that much of his life was public. On the internet. As part of some gods-damned podcast. There were no words for how fascinated he was. This was his story—and yet it wasn’t. It was focused on Jon, for some bloody reason, which made no damn sense, since Jon showed up at the very end. Well. There was no accounting for taste.

Note: This is nonsense. Full apologies to Jonny and Alex, who are 100% the creators of my favorite podcast, The Magnus Archives. This is a work of fiction, etc. and so forth. Take it as the joke it's meant to be. Written because I wanted Jonah to suffer.

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SHORT STORIES FOR TMA APPRECIATION WEEK, 2023

Just what it says on the tin. Silliness, angst, and crossovers incoming.

AO3

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THIS DARK THING THAT SLEEPS IN ME - Rusty Quill Big Bang 2023

This is a DARK AU; it is not a kid-fic, though Jon is young. Bittersweet ending ahead. Spoilers for the whole show, though this is very much an alternate universe. In a world where the End won and Jonah Magnus is its Heart, the cycle of death and rebirth is a given: no one lives past thirty, the Other Fears scramble for scraps, and any infant without an Alignment—called Uncertain—has until the age of ten to be claimed, or they are sacrificed. Jon, an Uncertain child, knows things he shouldn’t, has memories he shouldn’t, and also has a purpose: apparently, he’s been called to do what no Aligned person can do and stop Jonah. Sometimes, there is no happy ending, only the right one. Jonah broke the promises he made to take over the world, and Jon is here to make it right. “I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me; all day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity. Clouds pass and disperse. Are those the faces of love, those pale irretrievables? Is it for such I agitate my heart?” ― Sylvia Plath

AO3

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MAGNUS ARCHIVES x MALEVOLENT CROSSOVER

I PREFER MY HEART TO BE BROKEN

Jon feels seen in a way he has not since the Panopticon, examined from cell to soul, from ankles to ego. Does that feel good or horrible? He doesn’t know. He tries to see into this thing, just a little, but just that glimpse is enough. Fear shortens Jon’s breath, shivers up and down his form, because this thing is a god.

Playlist available here

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MALEVOLENT (PODCAST)

BUT IT BEATS THE DARKNESS - Malevolent Big Bang 2024

Serial killer Wallace Larson has been murdering children for his ritual, and the cops won't stop him. Private investigators Parker Yang and Arthur Lester choose to get involved... and everything goes wrong. Interrupting the ritual leaves Parker missing, Arthur in chains, and a piece of the King in Yellow in Arthur's head. But this piece knows who he is, and knows what he wants: to complete his ritual and rule Earth. Unfortunately, Arthur is incredibly stubborn, maudlin over his missing partner (stupid Parker Yang), and John, it turns out, is not the only piece of the King seeking power right now. It's a race against time, and John has a heavy handicap. With Larson in pursuit, a trail of murdered victims in their wake, and a host whose body is failing, John is determined to win at any cost... even if the cost includes Arthur Lester.

"It may not be much light but it beats the darkness" ~ Charles Bukowski, The Laughing Heart NOTE BEFORE READING This is part one of a Darkthur fic. There is violence and bodily harm. This fic was written in tandem with Kraiva's IT MAY NOT BE MUCH LIGHT, and is intended to be read together, though both are standalone. For the fullest experience, read the corresponding chapter from each fic. We'll be linking the connected chapters in the end notes of each. The incredible art in chapters two and eleven are by @wurmeon. The breathtaking 3D models in chapter six are from @iconiccookie.

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WRONG - spoilers for part 43

There is a thread where it all went wrong. Where Arthur, lost, has lost his hope. Where John makes a choice to teach Arthur what it means to be human.

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HERETIC- an Oscar one-shot:

What road remains for a man whose purpose abandoned him?

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Blood and Sand:

When John Luke was nine, Parker stopped writing back. It took a while before John Luke was sure, before he allowed the worry to slither into his bones, and take flavor and color away, and leave only trembling cold behind. Parker had never been quiet this long. Something had happened. John Luke Yang wants his brother back. When he learns about a wish—offered by a god, in exchange for winning some kind of game—he's willing to leave everything behind in pursuit of it. But the Dreamlands are not safe, and the King in Yellow has gone mad. The Games are not designed to be survived. Luke has fallen into deep and dangerous waters. Fortunately, he won't be swimming alone.

AO3 || Tumblr

They Both Just Gotta Be Dicks (Intermezzo spoilers):

Not much surprises Kayne anymore. A melting Arthur manages.

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All that Glitters (crack-fic one-shot):

John and Arthur, Lester and Doe, going mano a mano against their greatest foe: 1970s Arkham bureaucracy.

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Fragile (Intermezzo spoilers):

Arthur got low in Larson’s house. He hit bedrock; he admitted, brokenly, that they won. John didn’t let him drown. Which is ironic, because John was already drowning.

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Double the Popcorn (Intermezzo spoilers):

You think there’s anyone I haven’t seen? Fucked around with? Followed? You think there isn’t a version of you I haven’t tweaked to be the very d-d-darkest you could be, with flesh in your fingernails and blood in your cheeks like a really fucked-up squirrel? I. Have tried. Them all. And pal… they don’t fucking work.

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God of Cowboys and Fools:

Well. No time like the present. “I am the King in Yellow, and you are now my slave,” I tell him, because that is the truth and we might as well get it done. He is a god, awakened in the crater of his birth. Somewhere out there is the Wizard he needs to ensure his misplaced immortality. Now, if only the Wizard would just do as he was told instead of fighting back, they could get on with the business of living forever.

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SACRAMENT - an Oscar one-shot

Arthur and John are long gone from Oscar's life, and whatever they did has left more than one wound in the world. Oscar's is obvious. Scratch's is not. Oscar certainly hadn't planned on encountering the malevolent spirit ever again, but now that he has, he faces a choice.

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BOYO

Warning: this is a dark fic. I liked me boyo’s anger, and he was just scuttered enough to make this work. To join me hitting the prop, and hitting too much. To not know when it was time to stop, and to follow my lead as we went far beyond. Wasn’t quite perfect. Didn’t have the rhythm yet. But I knew he’d get it; musical lad, or I’m a whaler, and I’d get him singing my tune. The fool died, and my boyo stood there, panting, blood everywhere, and hit the body again just because. Fuckin’ beautiful, that was to see.

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THE INCIDENT - a one-shot for the @malevolent-fanzine

Arthur and John are in Arkham, getting their burgeoning P.I. business off the ground. And then Kayne asks for a favor, and everything goes to hell.

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TRY, TRY AGAIN - a one-shot for the @malevolent-fanzine

The King in Yellow worked for a month to get Arthur to spill the information he wanted. Eventually, he got what he wanted through a made-up Bostonian, Adam Fry. What happened in the month before Arthur woke?

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CONFESSION

There’s a trick to confession, if you want to keep another from hearing what you said. But not hearing it don’t make it not true, don’t make it go away.

I fear Arthur’s truth, so big and bright. I fear ours together may strike like flint and leap into devouring flame.

An Oscar one-shot

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PEDANTIC

Arthur Lester is the best IT architect in the world, and the reason Carcosa, Inc. has its fingers in every pie. Government, medical, everyone in the world uses its systems. Arthur is also going blind, with a rare genetic condition that can’t be fixed. The looming depression is bad. He can’t imagine a life where he can’t create anymore. Arthur nearly gives up… until a deeply annoying cybersecurity programmer prods him into trying something new. Great, right? Now, if only this John Doe weren’t clearly hiding something so wild that not even PI Parker Yang can dig it out….

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PET

Arthur loses John. Hastur loses Arthur. Yellow does not deserve what happens here.

AO3

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PUSH

They survived. John got his promised body. They're free. But Arthur is still blind, and now, he no longer has someone in his head, helping him around. He's not all right. It's all coming out of him in anger. Today, John needed a break... and, left alone, Arthur tries a four-legged substitute. It goes about as well as can be expected.

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NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY

Angst warning Things happen when we age. Unavoidable things. Until death do we part.

AO3

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CLOUD CITY - MALEVOLENT BIG BANG 2023

The sun never rises in Cloud City. Owned by distant gods, the world creaks along in techno-magical paralysis, making Contracts with spirits, and limping along in isolated enclaves while monsters run wild in the Wastes. Five years ago, Arthur Lester, a private investigator, made a Contract with a Summon called Hastur. The deal? His soul in exchange for the identity of his daughter's murderer. Until the time Arthur's soul is ripe for harvesting, Hastur will give him power, and eventually must find Faroe's killer. If he doesn't, they both die, so failure is not an option. Hastur, however, is not a normal Summon... and it turns out he's come here and chosen Arthur in order to stop a threat that will destroy the entire universe if it succeeds. Unfortunately, humans aren't meant to channel power like Hastur's, and Arthur's body is beginning to break down. It's a race against time to solve Faroe's murder and stop the incoming threat before he simply drops dead.

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YELLOW CITY - A CONTINUATION OF CLOUD CITY

Arthur Lester has been taken by the King into the Dreamlands. Arthur Lester has gone quite mad. As promised, Arthur will suffer… but his presence will have a bigger effect on the future of Earth than anyone planned.

AO3

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PUSH

They survived. John got his promised body. They're free. But Arthur is still blind, and now, he no longer has someone in his head, helping him around. He's not all right. It's all coming out of him in anger. Today, John needed a break... and, left alone, Arthur tries a four-legged substitute. It goes about as well as can be expected.

AO3 || Tumblr

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THE BIRTHDAY SONG

Very much post-canon. Very much fluff. John has a body. Arthur has his sight. They've figured it out, working in Arkham, making their way through life, and John, at last, has chosen his birthday. It's all fluff from here, folks.

AO3 || Tumblr

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WORTH THE PRICE OF A BOTTLE OF POP

So, anybody want a crack-fic with Kayne, Arthur, and too much sugar even for an Outer God?

AO3 || Tumblr

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FIVE TIMES JOHN WANTED TO SEE A MOVIE, AND ONE TIME KAYNE MADE IT SUCK

In which Arthur struggles with right and wrong, bemoans the Hays Code, tries (and fails) to define love, and gets a second chance.

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SURROGATE

The beginning of the series, Surrogate: The Director's cut.

The King in Yellow has a plan. The first part works, and Arthur Lester is broken. The second half blows up in his face. John has gone mad, and Hastur’s adopted daughter is upset, but that’s not all. It turns out a certain Outer God wasn’t done watching that show, and when he arrives with director’s notes, not even the King in Yellow can refuse him.

AO3 || Tumblr

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DEVISER (PODCAST)

DEVIL

Dad knew he'd failed with humans. Dad did not know he'd succeeded somewhere else.

AO3 || Tumblr

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RED

Son likes painting. Son likes red.It makes him feel some odd things. Things he doesn’t really have a word for. He really likes the way it looks splattered on his hands.

AO3 || Tumblr

[prismaticstreams]

How to balance all your interests when you have multiple passions?

I’ve been pondering how to balance all my different passions, interests, and side hustles, as I’m the kind of person who tends to love variety and easily gets excited about new projects. It’s often the completion part that I struggle with! This is a fairly common conundrum for certain personality types, and can also be related to conditions like ADHD. It can be really hard to know how to streamline and simplify things to make it more manageable and less chaotic.

Chronic illness can be a factor here too, as I often start a new project in a high energy period, but then may not have the physical energy to easily complete it. It can be hard to know how to handle this sometimes, as I can’t predict how I’ll feel from day to day or week to week. Sometimes I just have to let something go for a while, and accept that I will come back to it later. I also accept that there’s some projects I will abandon, and I don’t see it as a major problem as long as there’s no financial investment.

So how do you handle this tendency? 

I personally find it’s best to embrace it, and find ways to work around it rather than trying to pigeonhole myself into only one project, passion or interest at a time. However, if you’re trying to make money, earn an income or build a business - and you need to pay the bills with it to survive - then you will probably need to narrow down to one thing at a time for work. You can still allow yourself freedom to explore in your free time, though.

For example, I love borrowing a wide range of books from the library, and reading about a bunch of different topics at once. Switching from one book to another works for me and I find it stimulating. The great thing is that the books all get returned to the library, so they don't create long-term clutter. I also enjoy writing blog posts about a range of different topics, rather than sticking to one particular subject.

Same goes for my art - I have one style that I sell commercially, and then do whatever I want in the rest of my spare time as it captures my fancy. I find creating different IG/Tumblr accounts for particular art styles/niches works well. If it becomes popular and sells it's a cool bonus, but I don't worry too much about it making money. Digital art is great because it doesn't take up storage space, so I'm shifting from doing large pieces on canvas to doing more digital art.

Having said all that, I do have a bunch of blogs and Tumblr accounts floating around on the internet that I've forgotten about and largely abandoned. Same with old creative projects in storage. But it's okay, because I enjoyed exploring that idea/hobby/style for a brief period of time. Sometimes I go back and integrate creative stuff from the past into my current projects (for example, taking an old blog post and updating it for my current blog).

It can become a problem if you waste a lot of money on hobbies you forget about or business ideas that never get off the ground, so I’d recommend finding ways to avoid spending too much money to begin with. Ideally, it’s best to spend no money and find free activities, but obviously this is not always possible. My post about Decluttering My Fantasy Self may be relevant if this is you.

If you're multipassionate, I don't think there's one right or wrong way to manage your interests and hobbies. Some people like to focus intensely on one hobby at a time, then move on to something else. Others enjoy moving between different interests simultaneously to keep them stimulated. I've done both at different times in my life. Emilie Wapnick has a great book about this called How to Be Everything which is more focused on career, but you can apply the same principles to hobbies and side hustles as well.

[drawloverlala]

May Status Update

It’s May! well basically like an hour into it lol 😆, anyways I wanted to write an entry about stuff and the progress on my current commission batch! 

Commission batch work in progress:

🌸 Commissions without background: 11 in total

1 still not started

3 still on sketch phase

1 is on base colors

5 are finished! 

🌸 Commissions with background: 4 in total

still not started: 2

sketch in progress: 3

from last time I got 2 commissions more, that before I was waiting on which listing they were supposed to belong to, it was basically 1 and 1 from each one! 

and yeah, I’m hoping to keep making progress on these this new month! and I’m looking forward to try some other stuff as well!

some more ramblings under the line here

-----------------------------------------------

I recently finished some notebooks I was working on since the beginning of this year, and I’m hoping to be able to sell them on Facebook maybe? I don’t intend to make too much with them since, they’re still far from very professional looking notebooks 😅, but I’m also wanting to invest on more supplies, and I’m taking notes as well to keep learning how to make these better!

I certainly learned a lot during the process of making these XD, I made a lot of mistakes as well lol 

Also, here you can see the 2 designs I did, I did another one but the printer ran out of ink and I couldn’t use it lol, (another thing I gotta invest in the future is inks or maybe a new printer lol) and you can see here my Cinch machine! 

honestly I’m super tired, I finished these today and I had to store all materials and such again... and ugh... I seriously NEED a shelf to put all these machines and supplies, every time I’m going to use them I gotta take them all out of boxes and they are all under more boxes...gotta put them on boxes again and put everything again in order next to my bed..it also doesn’t look all too nice in there, so I’m going to start seriously looking for shelves next month 😆 

Other thing I wanted to ramble about, I recently got into Inkblot!  it’s a new art site, it has like around 1 year I think?, it’s still in development but so far it’s been pretty alright, Here’s my site so far:

I’ve been wanting to use it to put all my commission art, I’ve finally catch up to last year’s work, so I can start posting this year work! I also want to put my other works here, kinda using it as a general gallery like the one I had with Deviant art.

There’s still so much I haven’t put here, but slowly filling with art! still doesn’t feel as my old DA’s gallery and sometimes the site loads pretty slowly, but I want to give it a chance since it’s still pretty new, I look forward to see how it evolves. the community part at least seems pretty chill so far! 

also has this very cool feature, where you can make comparisons!! it has a sort of thing that you move it and you can see the difference between both pictures. 

I’ll definitely still be using Tumblr for art gallery as well, I already have posted a lot of art here anyways lol, I’ve managed to organize a lot of my art with the tags as well, although I think I’ll also be separating commission art without background and with backgrounds, that way they are all not too mixed up! 

Oh also, I’ve learned about Neocities! recently people were talking about it on Twitter, and seems like a cool option for a personalized website! although may first have to learn more about html coding 😆

Neocities is an open source site, you can own a site here and customize it however you want, but you gotta do it from scratch! it’s honestly pretty cool, I think customization of Tumblr themes is pretty close to this,

but even so, if you check the sites from here just for fun, THEY ARE FANTASTIC! it’s like taking a look at internet in 2008, the customization value is so cool!

I personally find very fun the customization options like this, I may want to give this a try some day 😄

Well I think that’s all, this ramble became a bit too long lol but well, thanks if you read this far! 

Hope you have a great first week of May! 

[foxwayart]

State of personal affairs (IMPORTANT)

(TL;DR will be towards the bottom for those who don’t wanna read my ramblings, but I’d prefer you did since this is important.) Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well, I’ll cut to the point by saying that I am not. For the past… We’ll say couple of months I’ve been on something of a mental health spiral, and it hasn’t really gotten any better save for my time at the Con. Which was a nice, but very brief reprieve. The whys of this dip in my well being are pretty varied, and some of it I’m not really able to talk about, whether for personal reasons or respect for others. But to put it broadly, work has been stressful, home has been stressful, my health has been stressful, everything has been stressful, and as it stands I don’t think I can keep up with things right now. So I’m taking a small break from working on commissions, and allowing myself a bit more breathing room when it comes to my streams (which is to say the next few streams may be much smaller scale, more chill chatting streams.)  

Now before any of you who commissioned me recently panic: With my current comms I will still be updating you guys, just at a slower rate than normal, I don’t intend to leave you guys in the lurch. But if by the time I’m done with them I still feel this bad, I probably won’t reopen my queue like I’ve been doing nonstop for the past while now. At least if I can financially help it… Streams like I said are gonna be a bit more lax. I’ll probably finish Pinkie Tower, but after that? I dunno, chatting and maybe some light doodling. Dunno how this will affect Sinner’s Saturday since some kind of income would be nice, but this week we’re definitely doing something different, just have to figure out what.  And yes, I still owe you guys that Discord movie night, we’ll be doing that soon. As for how long this time off is gonna be? No clue, it might only be a few days honestly, but the longest I’m giving myself is two weeks cause I just can’t afford any longer than that. And speaking of “affording”, it’s time for literally my least favourite part of the job. The shilling™️. I probably won’t really be making much if any money during this period, so if you ever wanted to support my work with a nice tip. Now would be the time. You have no idea how much even a small tip of a few dollars can help.https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks. I make peanuts on my work. That’s no one’s fault, it's just the nature of being both a small artist and streamer, it’s something I’ve come to peace with as a fact of my career choices. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. Part of why I can never usually take breaks at all is because I literally can’t afford to.

I have rent to pay, phone bills, internet, electricity bills, hormone pills, pet expenses including; food, potential vet visits, toys, poo bags, cat litter, etc. I have to have money saved up incase of an emergency whether personal or work related (computer parts need replacing, tablet needs replacing etc), then there's house expenses; food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies; replacing anything we need etc. It’s a lot, even with our packed house.

The only reason I'm able to go to Furnal Equinox or Canfurence is because I start saving up money month after month after month as a treat to myself, and even when there I tend to bring my work so I can get my commission queue done faster and reopen them again as soon as the con is done.

I’ve been told to raise my prices but let’s be honest, I’m not at the level where I can charge hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for pieces, and while this may be a pessimistic view of my work, I probably won’t be able to any time soon. Same with stream goals, I don’t feel like there’s much I can offer right now that would be worth $500 goals or something.

I’d open a merch shop or something but that would be even more stressful upkeep, and again let’s be real. My reach isn’t big enough for that and you can only sell the same merch to the same customer base for so long.

I apologize if it seems like I’m ragging on about the money, but of all the things I’m dealing with it’s the easiest to talk about because it’s something I think at least a few of you can relate to. That and the more personal troubles cut a bit deeper and I’m not sure I even really wanna talk about them because I don’t like dragging you guys down with me. We’ve made an awesome little community and I don’t need to be hurting you with my problems. Is that the healthiest way of looking at it? No probably not but there it is.

Above all that though I just want some more time to myself and the people I care about, not fretting every second that “I could be working” or “I could be monetizing this”, instead of focusing on improving my mental health so I can be a better creator for you guys, and a better person for me. I wanna draw for myself again,even if it’s just low stakes doodles or barely cohesive comic pages, or hell even just to work on my poor draftwomanship .I wanna let myself play some games and not think “Oh I have to stream this”,  every time I do. I wanna be able to go out with my loved ones and not constantly be thinking “WHY AM I NOT WORKING ON COMMISSIONS???”

So TL;DR taking a light break, not sure how long exactly, will keep current customers in the loop, streams aren’t going anywhere but may be a bit different, please tip to the ko-fi so I can stay afloat during this time https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman

For those that read through, thank you so much, it means the world that you care enough about my mental health to drudge through my ravings. You’re truly the best part of this job. A wonderful community that I can just chat and be honest with, I can laugh and joke with you all without fear or anxiety. That’s exceedingly rare these days and I couldn’t be more appreciative of you lot.

That in mind, this took awhile to write, my hands are hurting, and I wanna go lie down, maybe allow myself a good cry. Thanks everyone. <3

- Blaire,“Drfoxweyman” 

[starjxsung]

dear darling star <3 how are you?

i hope im not bothering you with this message

it’s been a while now and tumblr just doesn’t feel the same without you </3

i hope you’re doing good (both physically and emotionally)

i’ve been out of order lately because my life has been super hectic, so here’s the rundown till now:

i passed the semester with equal parts a’s and b’s (ngl the b’a hurt a bit bc it’s the first time in like 6 years i’ve gotten a b in a class😪 but im just glad that i made it)

my uni friends and i went out drinking to celebrate the semester being over( there were a lot of college students and we felt old af). we got so drunk that it was so weird for me but it was so fun to let loose for the first time in a loooooong time.

we just finished booking everything we needed for lolla and im a bit more excited now.

i’ve also been watching kdramas now (?!?) and im kinda addicted

bittersweet news:

i’ve also been a lot more proactive in donating to help palestine (i still donated monthly b4 but i’ve tried chip in a bit more lately, considering what’s been happening in rafah)

for the not so good news:

two stray cats that we haven’t been able to spay yet gave birth so there’s that. i love kittens, they’re the cutest but i always get so stressed at socializing them and/or finding homes for them because people are irresponsible af with their pets here but i can’t keep taking cats in without my cats and my other financial responsibilities being affected </3 i’ve been kinda guilty for the trip too bc of the money we’ve spent

my dad found a premature newborn kitten and it sadly passed away too </3

and, finally, i’m taking my masters’ comprehensive tests in two weeks and im terrified of failing them (i’ll update when i get the results so 🤞🏻).

i hope you’re doing well, what have you been up to? i hope you’re taking good care of yourself💜

(adding some life pictures too, look at the babies, look at my mom’s big ass piece of pizza and of course, i hope you still drink your iced coffee consistently <3)

i wish you the absolute best, always <3

sending you love wherever your are, whenever you are✨

sincerely,

🐈‍⬛

My love!!!!!! The love of my actual life. I was just thinking of you because skz posted they would be doing that little kitten interview thing (they did it for us and us only ‼️‼️) I’m so excited we get to see Jisung with kittens 😌

you’re NEVERRRR a bother with your messages. They’re absolutely the best part of all my days and I’ve been thinking of you so often while on my little break from the internet. First I am SO glad to hear you finished with a’s and b’s????? You should be so proud of yourself my love!!!!!! And you went out to celebrate, I hope you had the most fun everrrrrr 🥹🫶

my sister and I just got our lolla wristbands in the mail and it’s all starting to feel so real. I’m excited but also nervous??? As fuck??????? And I still have 2 Ateez shows before then I’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare for 🥲 it’s crunch time when I get back home frfr

also pls send all the kdrama recs as soon as physically possible !!!!!!

I’m so glad to hear you’re able to donate and be of help 🫶 I’ve been continuing to donate to save the children and participating in active boycotts. Tuning into the news every day is just so fucking heartbreaking. I’m so proud of everyone on here doing what they can and donating ❤️🍉 I love you so much

Also FEEL YOU on the kitten thing…. kittens are so so so much work and they stress me out so bad. One of my neighbors at my parents’ house once left behind their cat who gave birth in our shed and we has to care for the last kitten who survived (super tiny little premature baby) and even though we rushed her to the vet and watched after her for a few days, she passed 💔 that was the moment that I remember being like….. kittens are just so much more fragile than people think and difficult to care for. You did the best that you could :( thank you for being there for them regardless.

Also how did the comprehensive test go? (If you already took it) I hope you did so so amazing my love!!!!!!!!

I love you endlessly and I’m thinking of you always. Momo and I are rooting for you (even though she’s with my dad rn) and we hope you’re taking good care of yourself. All my love to you, always always always 💓💞💫🫶 I’ll be back properly very soon and in the meanwhile I’m sending you all my love from the middle of nowhere ! I hope it reaches you

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here! The Girls are working through revelations from the most recent update and this shit is real! They really did meet each other before. It's a small post-apocalypse, but is it that small? Or is this the work of the gods? But why would the gods, who have so much else to worry about, give two shits about a five-foot-nothing, loser lesbian cowgirl mailman?

Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

“I’ve prayed before,” Lou said. She prayed all the time. Well, maybe not all the time. But on holidays and sometimes she went to a shrine for deliveries, usually under the encouragement of a shrineward that she felt too awkward to turn down. “You obviously pray all the time. You work for Their Honor. Your mama and daddy are both church people. And look where you are now. How long do you have left? Some good it’s done you.”

Artie’s eyes darted back to Holliday and Lou realized that she hadn’t just missed all the crush conversation, but also the conversation about Artie being put to death. Luckily, she didn’t seem to notice as she was shifting back and forth experimentally in her saddle.

“It’s done me a lot of good, actually,” Artie said. Her voice sounded thick and she swallowed before continuing. “If I drop down dead from the saddle right this second, prayer still made the twentyish years I’ve had between escaping and right now years that were worth living. Because the gods care about me, like they care about you, like they care about Holliday.”

“Venus prays for me, anyway,” Lou said. Venus told her all the time that she was praying for her starting very early on in their acquaintance. 

“And Venus knows your heart completely? Every dark corner? Every fear? Every desire?” Artie asked. She seemed lit from within, not with a soft, pleasant glow, but a wildfire. For the first time in a while, Lou remembered that she frightened her. “Lou, if you don’t pray, you probably don’t even know your every desire. Prayer is revelatory. It reveals things.”

“Oh, good,” Lou said. “Just what I need: more desires I can’t achieve. I’m always thinking that what I really need, what’d really do me, is to have more wants.”

“Just because you don’t know they’re there doesn’t mean they’re not hurting you,” Artie said. “If you can see them, if you talk to the gods about them, then together, you can handle them.”

“I can’t understand why I’m being preached to right now,” Lou said. Her head ached.

“‘Cuz, unfortunately for you, you’re traveling with a fucking disciple,” Artie said.