#noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo

[concreteburialplot]

Draped Across

pairing: noah x fem!reader x nicholas

masterlist: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 2.8k

warnings: established thruple, dom nick. switch noah, sub brat reader, spanking, degrading?, brat taming, cuckolding??, noah being nick's little helper, nick is so angry he doesn't speak?, piv (unprotected). creampie, porn without plot?, oral (f recieving), contactless orgasm? kinda?, cute tooth-rotting aftercare/sub space, the boys love cringey petnames here SORRY in advance, noah is obedient for once in his fucking life, 18+ MDNI

summary: you act up and end up draped over noah's lap while nick uses you :)

a/n; i rarely do porn w/o plot or really anything this short, but i just needed to get this out. pls enjoy 💗 [as with anything i write involving nick this got really grossly soft at the end I'M SORRY]

Your sassy mouth and disobedient behavior had landed you draped across Noah’s lap with your shorts and panties drawn down around your thighs.

His large hand lands a smack hard on the meat of your ass sending a sizzling jolt of pain up your spine causing you to buck up a bit. His spanks always hurt the worst with the size of his hand.

Nicholas had grown silent from his seething, knowing that if he said anything it would be out of line, so he let Noah take over for him.

“Now, you’ve really upset him, flower.” Noah uses his favorite nickname for you in a sweet but patronizing tone.

Noah roughly shoves your shorts further down your legs until Nick all but rips them off your body. His hand lands another smack on your ass followed by a hard grip that helps to pull your cheeks apart. His slender fingers slither between your legs, parting your lips.

Faster than you can process, Nick uses his boot to spread your feet apart, baring you open for him completely.

Noah’s fingertips linger by your near dripping entrance, “Oh what’s wrong did that make you wetter? Having your pretty pussy on display for him?”

You whine and squirm in his lap, knowing that his words were embarrassingly true.

Another hard smack causes you to yelp, “I asked you a question. Now answer me,” His fingertips circling your entrance, putting the slightest pressure to tease. “Are you such a little slut that you get off on being on display for us?”

“Grrh, yes.” You admit a small defeat and buck your hips up towards his fingers. “Yes, I like being on display for you.”

Noah’s middle and ring fingers dip inside you, just the tips though, gently scissoring you open. Your eyes widen knowing exactly what that meant.

The sharp sound of zipper rings from behind you, filling the room.

Noah fingertips spread your pussy open as much as it would allow. You hear Nicholas spit, followed the squelching of his hand around his cock.

Fear and anticipation pools in your tummy for the delicious burn his cock would bring.

His large, swollen tip slides between your folds and you shudder at his size. Butterflies unleash in your belly when he grazes your buzzing clit.

You wiggle around Noah’s lap both in excitement and terror, earning you another hard smack with his free hand. “Stay fucking still.” He demands, then harshly grasping your hip to stabilize you. “Be good and take it.”

A loud gasp leaves your mouth when you feel Nick press into you, stretching you around his cock. You hiss at the sting of it. He takes his time just getting into you but not much after, using his full force to dive straight into you. A sharp cry leaves your mouth when his tip lands hard into the deepest part of you. The direct impact into your core shoots pain up through your stomach; your eyes screw closed and suck in a harsh breath through your teeth.

Your whole body stills when you feel a pair of hands that aren’t Noah’s snake around your hips. The feeling of it simultaneously soothes and frightens you. Nick’s thumbs rub circles into the divots of your lower back. He’s angry with you, you know. But the small gesture grounds you a bit.

He pulls from you almost completely before landing hard into you again and starts building momentum rutting in and out of you. The pain of the stretch slowly melts away the more you adjust to him and you’re able to savor in him filling you entirely. It’s hard to even clench around his girth.

“Fuck.” You mutter out and his hands curl into your hips sternly, holding you firmly in place as he nearly splits you in half.

Noah gently tucks a chunk of hair behind your ear, “You take him so well.”

Rosy pink coats your cheeks at his compliment.

Noah’s length had been poking at your tummy the whole time you’d been on his lap but now he very subtly readjusts beneath you to let his own cock free. He lets it rest in the dip of your waist, just enjoying the movement of your entire body being fucked in his lap.

His fingers find their way back between your legs, his index and middle parting around Nicholas, just feeling where he enters you. You hear a groan rumble in Noah’s chest and feel his member throb and bounce against your exposed skin. He loves feeling him fucking you, getting some sort of twisted pleasure in being deprived of both of you.

“Now, say you’re sorry for being a disobedient little brat.” Noah commands.

You whine and wriggle in his lap keeping your mouth shut. As with most times, you wanted to see how far you could push their buttons.

“I said, say you’re sorry.” Another hard smack lands on your ass from Noah, this one harder than before. “Now you’re gonna have to count.”

You knew better than to not comply to that demand.

“One.”

“We’re still not hearing the words I asked.”

Another smack.

“Two.”

The burn of it lets you know that your ass is definitely bright red by now – which explains Nick’s acceleration, he loves seeing marks on you.

Two more hard spanks – Noah’s obviously getting frustrated with you.

“Three – ah – four.” You hiss.

A hand firmly and swiftly wraps your hair around his fist – with the veraciousness of it you know it’s Nicholas. While the gesture is painful and jarring, it releases a flurry of butterflies in your core. Your back arches up to Nick as much as it can.

“Don’t make him ask.” Noah warns with another smack.

You could defy Noah all day, easy, but Nicholas makes you weaker and breaks you down faster.

“Ah – fuck.” You suck in a breath. “Fuck, fine, I’m sorry!”

Noah glances up at Nick verifying if he’s satisfied with your answer although he already knows the response.

“Not good enough. Try again.” Noah’s hand grasps your hip to readjust you into a firmer position. “And you missed one, start over.” Followed by a new first spank.

“Fuck.” You mutter, the sting on your ass beginning to cross your pain threshold – but not quite enough yet. “One.”

Another, this one prickling tears in your eyes.

“Fuck!” You yelp. “Two.”

“I said, try again.”

Another, this one being the hardest and most painful one yet, definitely leaving a hand-shaped bruise.

“Ah! Three! Fuck!” You cry. “I’m sorry!”

Noah’s sizable hand gently rubs over the marks forming across your cheeks. “For what babydoll?” He pries.

“For being disobedient!” Tears welling in your eyes.

You feel his hand lift and hover over you again. “Don’t make me ask again.”

“Gah – fuck, fine – I’m sorry for being a disobedient little brat!” You repeat back the full statement with your voice cracking.

“Good girl.” He hums. The praise makes your heart swell. He again tucks your hair behind your ear, noticing the tears streaming down your face. “Oh, what’s wrong darling? Can’t handle the punishment for your behavior?”

His mean words worsen the buzzing in your clit and the ceased spanking lets you focus on Nick’s fat cock destroying you.

“Mmm.” You moan involuntarily.

“Oh,” Noah smirks, his fingers finding where Nick meets you again. “Or is it his big fucking cock spreading you open that’s making you cry?”

“Mhm.” You hum, reveling in the burn of it.

“Here let me help.” His fingers wrapping around the base of Nick’s cock and even with the added size of Noah’s fist, Nick is still able to reach into your deepest point. Noah’s cock bouncing against your waist tells you that he likes that fact as much as you do.

Nick seems to love the extra stimulation too, his thrusts getting viciously fast, fucking you dizzy.

“I know, it’s so much, isn’t it?” He mutters, seemingly entranced with the size as well.

“Uh huh.” You pathetically spit out, your body just a vessel for their pleasure.

Noah pushes your hair to the other side of your neck with his free hand. “Tell me baby, who’s little slut are you?” He asks. “Who do you belong to?”

“F-fuck.” You’re so turned on and so wet that you feel like the slightest pressure on your clit could unravel you. “You.”

His fingers unwrap from Nick and glide down through your folds, halting just before your bud.

“Wrong.”

Your eyes widen realizing your mistake when the fingers around your hips dig into your hipbone painfully.

“Fuck – His.”

“Oh baby, c’mon, you know better than that. Who owns your pretty pussy hm? Who do you belong to?”

“Nick!”

“Good girl.” He praises, his fingertips now grazing your clit. “Again. Louder.”

“Nick.” You moan out louder than before, this time coming from your chest, between heaving breaths.

“Good girl.” He repeats with his fingers beginning tight circles into your swollen nub. “Louder. Again.”

A tight knot begins to form in your tummy, the feeling of being just a plaything to them sets your skin ablaze. “Nick!”

“Louder, c’mon you can be louder than that. You know he loves it when you scream.”

“Fuck! - Nick! Nick!”

Noah’s fingers speed up alongside of Nick’s thrusts. His momentum getting quick and sloppy, clearly just as close as you.

“Nick. Nick. Nick.” You mindlessly repeat with your head so fuzzy and full of him that he’s all you could think of.

“That’s it baby, just like that.” Noah spits down on his own member, still just getting stimulation from your fucked body moving against him. “He’s close, you just gotta wait, okay? Can you do that?”

You nod, still just repeating his name like a prayer, the brink of your orgasm clearing your mind of anything else.

Finally, Nick groans deeply and lands hard in you with his cock twitching, painting your walls white and filling you completely.

“Okay baby, let go for us, will you?” Noah doesn’t even finish his statement before you’re blinded by your own orgasm.

Screams and curses of Nick’s name rip from your throat as euphoria washes over you, your skin buzzing as Nick continues to fuck you through his climax.

Whiny, desperate moans tumble from Noah’s lips as you feel his warm cum splay all over your back, completely hands free.

You fall limp across Noah’s lap, your breathing in sync with each other. While Noah was in control this session, it’s always Nicholas behind the wheel.

He belongs to him as much as you do.

There’s a bit of an exchange between them you can’t quite make out since you’re still coming down from your high but all you feel is them moving you around like a ragdoll. Suddenly you realize you’re now draped across Nick’s lap.

“Knees.” He instructs Noah, the first thing he’d said this whole time.

Noah obeys, landing on his knees behind your dripping core.

“Clean her up.”

Your eyes widen at his words and almost instantly his tongue brushes through your folds and dips into your entrance.

“Good boy.”

Noah hums happily against you at the praise.

Nick’s fingers tracing through your hair tenderly. “You did so good angel. Did you learn your lesson?”

“Mhm.”  

You’re torn between humming and melting into his touch or releasing the moan building in your tummy. Noah seemingly enjoys his task, eating you like he’s been starving for a lifetime, practically sucking Nick’s cum right out of you.

“I know he hurt you quite a bit didn’t he bunny?” He asks quietly, just loud enough for you to hear. His voice is soft and gentle, much different than how he was just talking to Noah or anything he would’ve said if he had spoken while he was inside of you.

You begin to nod but hiss in pain when Noah’s tongue grazes the base of your entrance where Nick stretched you out the most. Noah pauses for a second before pressing his lips to the sensitive area.

“Maybe we should go wash up huh? Get you guys in a nice warm bath.” Nick’s hand finds your cheek to support your head. “Does that sound good?”

“Mhm.” You hum tiredly and nuzzle into his palm.

“Okay. When he’s done, we’ll get you both nice and clean. Maybe put an ice pack on your pretty, red ass?”

“Please.”

“You both did so good for me. Noah did a good job taking control didn’t he?” Nick asks.

“Mhm.” You nod with a lazy smile, barely able to keep your eyes open as the chemical rush begins to crash and take its toll on you.

Once Noah finishes cleaning you up, Nick carries you over to a large corner bathtub. Noah takes the initiative to start filling the tub at a good temperature. He even takes a scoop of bath salts with dried rose petals and spreads them across the filling tub to help with the pain.

“You want some bubbles bunny?” Nick asks Noah sweetly. The nickname directed at him this time makes his cheeks turn bubblegum pink. “Or maybe a bath bomb?”

He nods quickly at the bath bomb suggestion, very clearly slipping into a deep sub space of his own.

Nicholas gently places you in the tub while Noah goes to a container filled with bath supplies. He returns with a blue spaceship cupped in both hands, the edges of it bubble and fizz in his palms since his hands were still wet from testing the water.

“Good choice.” Nick beams at him and gestures to the tub. “C’mon, don’t let it fizz all in your hands.” He teases.

Noah excitedly gets in the tub but slow enough to not disturb you. Nick nods when Noah goes to ask if he’s allowed to set it down yet.

The spaceship sizzles in the warm water and spins slowly in the waves. Dark blue, purple, pink, and even a bit of shimmery gold start to fizzle out from the ship soon staining the water a dark galaxy.

Nick sits at the edge of the tub with just his legs in the water with you nestled between them. While soaking, he carefully washes and conditions your hair. His fingers skillfully comb through your locks, gently breaking up any knots. Once he’s washed out all the soap he moves to your scalp, softly massaging it as you rest your head on his thigh. You hum in contentment.

Once he’s made sure you’re satisfied, he moves on to Noah, taking his long hair between his hands just as he did with yours.

Your eyelids are heavy as you watch Noah pick three rubber duckies – one pink, one yellow, one blue – from the edge of the tub and precariously place them into the water. His eyes are soft and mesmerized as he watches them spin alongside the drifting bath bomb remnants. The twirling colors and duckies lull him into a comforting, hyper-fixated trance. Noah hums against Nick’s thigh, his eyes matching yours in their sleepiness.

The space between you three is quiet but peaceful, comfortable, and full of love.

Nicholas unplugs the tub, and the water begins to drain slowly. If you had anymore fight left in you, you’d push to stay in longer but all you want to do is get nuzzled between your boys in bed.

He brings you both plush towels and helps you dry off. Before you’re able to get dressed, you’re once again across Nick’s lap off the edge of the bed, but this time for a much different reason. He squeezes out some healing gel-cream into the palm of his inked hand and carefully spreads it across your bruised cheeks. The coolness of the cream helps ease and numb the pain. It brings you comfort knowing that while both of them can be quite mean in the moment, they will always be soft with you like this afterwards.

“Does that feel better?” He asks and you nod. “Good.” He smiles softly. “I picked out some PJs for you on the dresser if you wanna bring them over?”

You carefully peel yourself from his lap and bring over the silk PJs. He holds open the shorts for you to step into and helps slip the top over your head. His hands cup your cheeks and tilts your face up to him. “I love you.”

His eyes lean more grey in the dim light of your bedroom. You beam sweetly up at him and nuzzle into his palm. “Love you more.”

Abruptly, Noah pulls himself on his knees to the edge of the bed and throws his lanky arms around both of your necks. “Love you most!”

You giggle at Noah’s silliness and how the squeeze squished you into Nick’s chest. You’d stay squished there forever by them if you could.

Shortly after, you three get cozy in bed – you curled around knocked-out Noah and Nick curled around you. Being smushed between their bodies means that the smell of their mixed colognes cocoons you in your favorite scent. With a deep inhale, you take in the moment. You were exactly where you belong.

No one could ever take away how perfectly you three fit together.

tag list; @darksigns-exe @deathblacksmoke @ladyveronikawrites @blackveilomens @somebodyels3 @shilohrosechicken @th4t-em0-k1d @midnight-eternals @hedonists

a/n; thank you for reading if you did! smut isn’t really my strong suit so i apologize if it wasn't that good 😬 and IM SORRY IT WAS MUSHY AT THE END OKAY………

Thank you for any support you guys ever give me on any of my works, it truly means the world to me that you guys enjoy my words and lil plots.

let me know if you liked it! i love hearing your thoughts

[darksigns-exe]

anywhere with you - noah sebastian x nick ruffilo

word count: 1.1k warnings: mentions of anxiety, a little bit of angst and a lot of big feelings note: by request from @somewhere-diamond <3 sorry for the wild delay!

Nick is awfully quiet, he thinks. He’s never the boisterous type, but he’s quiet even for his standards today. There’s a barely there edge of anxiety to him, and Noah knows that it must be so much worse under the surface. He watches as Nick fiddles with the sleeves of his hoodie, and his heart aches a little. Noah tries to think of an excuse to get the rest of the band out of the house. He can’t exactly usher them out with a my maybe boyfriend needs quiet time please leave. As far as they are concerned, he and Nick share this place as friends and nothing more. They don’t know that Noah hasn’t slept in his own bed since the week after they’ve moved in here. 

Thankfully, Jolly is somewhat attentive and seems to understand the non-verbal cues just fine. Not even twenty minutes later, he’s practically dragging Folio out by the back of his jacket. 

Nick seems to deflate as soon as the door clicks shut behind them. And when Noah comes back into their little living room, he finds him in a truly pitiful state. He looks as if he’s one bad thought away from breaking into tears, and he simply can’t have that. They’ve been here often enough for Noah to know how to approach him, but everything feels so different now. 

“Nick?” he asks softly, trying not to spook him too much. 

The deep furrow of Nick’s brow makes his chest ache a little. If there was a way for him to take that feeling away entirely, he would. 

“Is it okay if I hold you? Or do you need something else?” 

Nick blinks up at him for a moment, and Noah thinks that he looks so terribly unsure of everything. 

“Can we just sit here for a bit?” Nick replies, sounding so very timid. 

Noah sits next to him on the sofa in an instant, “Of course. Whatever you need.” 

Nick’s held him like this plenty of times and Noah still feels a little clumsy about this, but if Nick needs to burrow his face into his chest, then he’ll give him that. And really, if he can accept this softness from him, it’s only right and fair if he gives a little bit of it back. He’s content to hold him like this for as long as Nick needs it. One hand rubbing soothingly along his back, while the other rests just above his waist. 

This all is still so tender and Noah isn’t quite sure what exactly they are, but he knows that Nick means more to him than anyone else ever has.

“What brought this on?” he asks after a while. 

Nick shifts in his embrace, twists out of it so that he can look up at him. 

Noah can’t help himself then. His fingers brush along Nick’s cheek before he can stop himself. Nick practically melts into the touch, and maybe that already gives him the answer to his question. 

“I don’t think that I want to hide this – us – from them. I want to be able to hold your hand when they’re around. I know this is new but –” he trails off into mumbled words and Noah won’t force from him – not today. 

“We don’t have to hide.” Noah says and finds himself sounding surprisingly firm, “I love you Nick and I don’t want to hide it from our friends.”  

Something flickers across Nick’s face then, and a moment later he sees him swallow down a shaky breath. 

“I know we haven’t really talked about what this is. But I don’t think that people who are just friends touch each other like that.” 

Nick gives a faint little chuckle at that, “I agree.” 

He sits up then, but remains close enough for his knees to still touch Noah’s thigh. 

“Can we go back to what you said before that?” 

Part of him wants to play dumb and make him specify what part he means. But Noah knows exactly what he means. 

“The bit about us not having talked about this? We should go back to that, yes.” 

Nick shakes his head, “The other thing. You love me?” 

He sounds almost surprised, and maybe that stings a little. But he knows that Nick is so willing to give love without expecting anything in return that it doesn’t really surprise him. 

“Of course I do. I think I always have in a way.” he replies, “I’m not always good at saying it or showing it, but I’ve never cared more for anyone.” 

The kiss that follows carries more meaning than the words ever could. It’s chaste in its own way, gentle and sweet, and fills Noah’s chest with warmth. They never quiet part, Nick remains pressed up against him for a long while, and Noah can’t exactly complain about that. 

They spent the remainder of their evening with re-heated takeaway and a movie they’ve seen plenty of times. For once, Nick is the one resting against his chest, instead of it being the other way around. Noah keeps his arms wrapped around his middle, his hand resting comfortably on Nick’s tummy. They’ve kissed before, they’ve done more than that, but for some reason he still has to work himself up to press his lips against Nick’s cheek. 

Nick tries to peer up at him then. 

“Watch your film.” Noah whispers and seals the words with another soft kiss. 

Nick turns back to the TV rather reluctantly. And when Noah trails his kisses a little lower, he doesn’t turn to face him again. Instead, he just melts further against him. 

The moment is so perfectly mundane.  

When the credits roll across the screen, Nick slowly begins to shift again. Noah can’t quite bring himself to release him just yet, though. 

“Stay here for a moment?” he asks, pulling Nick a little bit closer again, “Tell me if it gets bad, okay? Doesn’t matter what’s going on or where we are. If you need out, tell me. I know that I can’t magic that feeling away, but if I can help make it better, I want to do that.”

“I think I just needed to hear you say it. Going from being able to touch you just like that to having to hide how I really feel didn’t make me feel good.” 

The admission stings a little, but it’s good to know what Nick needs from this – from him. 

“Then we don’t hide it. I’m all yours anyway.” Noah replies. 

Nick is curled against his front when they finally find their way into bed. His hand wraps around the one Noah had placed against his chest. 

“Noah?”

He hums in acknowledgement. 

“I love you too.” 

taglist:@deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

[deathblacksmoke]

Masterlist: Euclid

IN PROGRESS

Pairing: Nick Ruffilo x f!reader x Noah Sebastian

Summary: Excerpts from a usually fluffy, often smutty, sometimes a little angsty polyamorous relationship.

Can be read in any order. 18+ MINORS DNI.

verse title and some individual part titles from “euclid” by sleep token.

banner: @circle-with-me 🩷 divider: @saradika-graphics 💐

call me when you get the chance we tangle endlessly two way vision like lovers entwined cleanse me with pleasure i can see you in my fate

[sitkowski]

permission ( noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo )

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x noah sebastian cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ d/s undertones, chastity devices (cock cage), barebacking, choking, face slapping, overstimulation, degradation, praise kink. finally, someone is nice to him…in his own special way. word count: 1.7k author's note: hashtag noah is free. the conclusion to this mini series! this started with one little picture of folio and noah and just spiraled, but thank you to those who encouraged this and screamed at me about it, love you guys!! divider by @saradika-graphics

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups || locked mini series masterpost

Noah takes a long, hot shower because he knows that Nick will probably keep him waiting a little bit longer. It gives him time to process the night. It’s not as if he’s ashamed of it, in fact he’s pretty proud of himself. He knows he earned that key, just like Nick said he would. A part of him was expecting to be exhausted from the combination of the show and then meticulously working his way down the line of his friends. But his adrenaline is still running high, and he simply dries off haphazardly and sprawls out on the bed to wait.

 He doesn’t touch the cage, it’s not his to touch. Even if he’s the one who picked it out, the one who ultimately gets the choice whether or not to wear it. It’s been a longer stretch this time, but Noah likes it. He likes the control it gives him, and he knows that Nick likes the control it gives him over Noah. When Noah came to him with this idea, this way to earn his way out by the end of the tour, Nick had been all for it. He’d never deny Noah anything.

The sound of the key in the door startles him a little, but he stays laying across the bed. Nick steps into the room, freezing when he sees him there, naked except for his cage. Noah gets that same feeling he always gets when he’s in the same room with Nick, like being at the top of a rollercoaster. He knows what’s coming, feels the drop of anticipation in his stomach every single time.

“Hi.” he breathes out.

“God, fucking look at you,” Nick mutters softly. He shrugs out of his jacket, reaches back and pulls off his t-shirt and throws it aside. Noah’s eyes immediately go to the key. “You've been a good boy for me? You know I’m going to ask them.”

He feels himself go hot all over at Nick’s question, and all he can do is nod his head. That’s not good enough for Nick though, he stalks over to the bed and grabs Noah by the jaw none too gently. The way he switches from sweet to mean always throws Noah for a loop, and he lives for it. If he could get hard right this second, he would. As it is, he’ll do and say whatever Nick wants to get him to take the cage off.

“Yes, Nicky!” He blurts out, speaking as best he can with the way Nick is squeezing his face. “I was good, I promise.”

Nick reaches his free down and wraps his hand around the cage, and Noah has to fight to stay still. Tears sting the corners of his eyes and he blinks rapidly.

“I believe you.” Nick promises, and it draws a relieved sob from Noah’s lips. Nick lets go of his face, leans down so their lips are just touching. The key dangles between them, tickling Noah’s throat. “I told you what you’d get if you were good. You wanna undo the clasp for me?”

Trying not to appear too eager, Noah sits up, reaching beneath Nick’s hair and undoing the chain that holds the key. Nick takes it off, kneeling on the bed and fitting the key into the lock. The sound of it being undone rattles around in Noah’s head and he can’t breathe as Nick pulls the cage off. He doesn’t touch Noah any more than he has to, not right away. A desperate plea escapes Noah’s throat and he paws at Nick’s shoulders, pulling him into a kiss. He whines and whimpers against his lips, trying to ground himself and failing.

“After all the dick you’ve had today, you still want more, huh? We should have just lined the whole crew up outside that bathroom and let them have a turn.”

“No.” Noah says, shaking his head. His entire body is shaking.

Nick pulls back and slaps his cheek, not too hard but enough to shock Noah and make his mouth fall open in some combination of confusion and arousal.

“No? You’re telling me no? If you’ve got something to say, it’s not that.”

“I just meant that I didn’t want that tonight. I want…” Noah trails off with uncertainty, looking down.

“Ah, no,” Nick’s voice still has that hard edge to it, and it shouldn’t make him as hard as it does, but there’s just something about him sounding so mean when Noah also knows how soft he can be with him that just does something to his brain. “You did everything I asked of you tonight. So you speak up and tell me what you want. It’s yours.”

“I want to fuck you.”

It’s been weeks since he’s been allowed, and if he gets to pick his reward, it’s this, getting to be inside of him again. Nick moves back and for a split second, Noah thinks something is wrong, but he’s just stripping out of the rest of his clothes and snatching the bottle of lube from where Matt left it on the dresser earlier. He comes back to the bed, planting a hand in the middle of Noah’s chest and shoving him back against the pillows. Noah expects him to climb on top of him, but he doesn’t, instead laying at his side and kissing him.

He’s been as patient as he can be the past few weeks, and if Nick can’t taste his desperation by now, it would be a miracle. He finally lays back on the pillows, letting Noah fit himself between his thighs.

“I’m probably not gonna last—”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Nick laughs, not meanly. “Cause you wanna know a little secret? I knew this is what you were going to want, and I snuck off and got myself ready for you in the bathroom before I left the guys. So c’mon, get inside of me already.”

All Noah can do for a second is curl himself over Nick and press his forehead into his chest, trying to breathe. Nick, as he does with everything else involving Noah, understands completely and just silently pets Noah’s hair.

Finally, Noah sits back on his knees and pulls Nick’s thighs over his. He grabs the lube, slicking up his cock and pressing it against Nick’s hole. A part of him thinks he should prep him more, but Nick isn’t having that. He reaches out and grabs onto Noah’s hips, digging his fingers in hard.

“Do I have to start begging to get you to get with the program?” he asks, voice already tight with need.

Noah would have honestly paid to hear Nick beg him, but he knew he’d pay for it later. He gives himself a few more strokes, already so hard it hurts a little. Dragging one of Nick’s legs up higher, he lines himself up and pushes in, closing his eyes tight. Nick feels perfect, like he was made for Noah. In some twisted way, his brain associates this with his cage. Him being the only one who gets to have Noah like this, the way they fit together. It does something to him.

He feels another quick, stinging slap to his cheek and his eyes fly open. Nick’s gazing up at him with an almost amused expression. “Did you forget? Eyes on me.”

“Sorry,” Noah gasps out, hips twitching forward until he’s fully inside of him.

Maybe he feels a little vindicated with the way he sees Nick’s eyes go a little unfocused, lips parting on a moan that Noah can feel beneath his hand on his chest. When Nick grabs that hand and pulls it up to his neck, Noah shudders against him.

“You can, it’s okay,” Nick promises, voice softer. “Come on, just like I taught you.”

Noah presses his fingers into the appropriate places on Nick’s throat, like he did teach him. Nick draws in a sharp breath and Noah presses harder as he pulls almost all the way out and shoves back in. He counts, beneath his breath, as the seconds tick by. Nick’s eyes roll back in his head, and Noah presses and releases on his throat after a few seconds.

When Nick sucks in air, Noah blankets him with his body and kisses him, stealing that breath away. He tries to be careful, tries to drag this out as long as he can for him. His hips stutter, he wants to go harder but he’s not sure if that’s what Nick wants from him.

“You’re not gonna break me, Noah. Take it, take your reward,” Nick murmurs against his mouth, tongue brushing his bottom lip.

Noah takes him at his word. He grabs onto Nick’s hands, pinning them up above his head and lacing their fingers together before he rocks into him faster and his control slips. Nick locks his legs around him and bites at his throat, spurring him on and the second Noah feels him clench down around him, it’s over. He spills inside of him with a groan, pressing his face into his throat. It seems to go on forever, and he all but collapses on top of Nick.

He’s aware that Nick pulls his hands free and is petting his fingers down his back. He nudges Noah’s chin up, kissing him slowly.

“Lift up a bit. Don’t pull out yet,” he tells him and Noah nods.

Nick gets a hand between the two of them, wrapping his fingers around his cock and stroking himself quickly. Noah can’t look away, eyes glued to the way his tattooed fingers move. Every strangled gasp Nick lets out sinks into his skin and he presses his mouth to Nick’s chest. He feels overwhelmed and wrung out, but he won’t move, not until he knows Nick wants him to. 

When Nick finally comes, he gives a little nod after catching his breath, and Noah leans back to pull out slowly. His eye twitches a little bit at the sight of his come leaking out of Nick and he can’t help but reach down and delicately push it back inside.

“Oh you fucker,” Nick gasps, writhing against the bed before laughing a little, grabbing onto Noah’s wrist. “I will absolutely put your ass back in that cage now. Behave.”

Noah grins, leaning back over to kiss him. “That’s really not the threat you think it is.”

⇉ taglist:

@ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens @circle-with-me @deathblacksmoke

@malice-ov-mercy @dominuslunae @sorrowsofsilence @collapsedglasshouses

@th4t-em0-k1d @illmakeyousaywow @blackveilomens @vinyardmauro

@thatchickwiththecamera @collidewiththesavannah

[darksideoftheshipps]

"Old  friends, same disease"

Finally, it's done.

(I ship them. Well, maybe you've already noticed. :))))

[ostdreamseeker]

Hey! Hiii! I would Love to read a small angsty Noah x Nicholas! From bad omens. But it won't just be angst, there will also be some action. Basically the idea would be Nicholas saving Noah after some crazy person stab him on Halloween, taking advantage of the fact that the people are dressed up! I don't know, something that makes it clear how much those two love each other, but that also makes me cry haha.

Let your imagination run wild(?)

PS: I've never made a request before. Sorry.

Alright finally got this one done! Oddly happy with how it came out tbh

•··································•··································•

Stomach Ache

Noah Sebastian x Nicholas Ruffilo (Bad Omens)

Word Count: 1,043

Tags: Violence, blood, injury, general angst

Disclaimer: this is fiction and not intended to be an actual depiction of these people, their actions or their relationships in real life

•··································•··································•

Halloween = Noah’s birthday. 

The whole band tended to make quite a large deal out of it, but no one even came close to how excited Noah got over it. He’d gone through dozens of group outfit ideas with the band, scrambling to think of something as the boys had left him with full decision over what they worse due to it being his special day.

Eventually though, Jolly and Nick ended up being unable to attend for... Some reason Noah forgot almost immediately. It was hard pushed to say he particularly cared for, his beloved boyfriend, Nic, had still promised to spend the whole day and night with him and in all honesty, Noah didn’t need anything else.

Eventually Halloween rolled around, Noah had himself all done up as Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul and had dressed Nic up too, a more generic ghoul but his whole look complimented Noah’s own. Thankfully, Nic was very much so on board with Noah’s ‘you’re never too old to trick-or-treat’ theory and was quite gladly being dragged down the street, the darkness slowly settling in as the cool but not quite on the nose breeze brushed past the pair. Everyone had been quite pleasant through the night, despite dealing with two very much so grown men trick-or-treating and they had only been recognised by a couple of very polite fans, and not swarmed like they did fear.

They’d amassed quite the haul this evening, Noah slowly picking through the candy and munching on it as they wandered, Nic had needed to move Noah away from several poles that he was about to have a meet and greet with his forehead while being too busy fishing around in the candy bag.  And now they were tired, full of sugar and almost home. They felt like they’d been out all night, even if it was still early compared to the pairs usual sleep schedule. They had plans for just the pair of them tonight, watch some horror movies, have some cake, all just to top of the great Halloween/birthday whombo-combo evening. Thankfully, the last part of the walk home wasn’t too strenuous and the house was already in view.

Nic took his eyes off Noah for one moment.

One moment too long.

He’d just looked away for a second, admiring someone's Halloween decorations in the distance until a blood curdling scream was torn from Noahs lungs and immediately pierced Nic’s ears. Nic’s attention fixated onto Noah immediately, watching him stumble and clutch his stomach, bag of candy immediately lost onto the ground as his body fell into the guitarist’s arms, barely managing to hold himself upright.

“Noah!”

Nic managed to see some masked, knife wielding individual, some horror movie serial killer that he didn’t care for enough to be able to name, running away with an audible cackle, blood dripping from the knife along the sidewalk as he ran, but not enough information to even attempt to file anything for now, not like that would be Nic’s focus anyway. Nic clutched Noah tightly, pressing his hand harder against his stomach wound as the blood seeped through both their fingers. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Slowly but surely, Nic managed to drag Noah inside, most of his weight resting against his own until they barely managed to make it to the bathroom of their shared house, Noah immediately slumping to the ground beside the bathtub the moment Nic let him go. There were a lot of groans and grunts from Noah, although he seemed to eb holding up surprisingly well. With a melody of sighs, grunts and other stressed and aggravated noises, Nic quickly got to work looking over Noahs injury. He carefully moves Noah’s hand away, despite protests, and slipped his upper clothing off. Thankfully, the wound didn’t run as deep as the amount of blood made it seem. It wouldn’t need stitches but it would need attention, gauze, bandages... Just enough things to make Nic’s head spin.

“Stay there, I’m just getting some things.”

“Nic-”

“Shh. You’re okay.”

Noahs pained puppy dog eyes didn’t bring his heart any resolve, nor did the pained whimpers as he moved away to the first aid cabinet. He was back by his side quickly, wiping his blood from his side and the wound carefully, soon taking some antiseptic cream to the wound site before wrapping it gently. Noah gave many cries of protest and grunts of pain as Nic took to his wound, moving around to suit his needs as he twisted the bandage around his torso. Once Nic was done he sat down next to Noah, pulling him into a side hug carefully.

“You okay?”

Noah nodded, properly examining his stomach now and the amount of blood that was over his hands and now all over Nic. Gods, the bathroom was covered in it, actually. It was almost sickening, thankfully the fact the pain was slowly subsiding helped to bring the nauseous feeling down back to his stomach and not all over the floor. 

“I’m okay...” His breathing was still heavy as he rest his head against Nic, a small tear slipping from the corner of his eye with a soft chuckle. “All thanks to you. Real ass saver, aren’t you?”

Nic couldn’t help but laugh, of course Noah would crack a joke already, just got stabbed, almost bled out on the bathroom floor, him and his boyfriend are both covered in his own blood... yeah, seems like a great time for a joke. Nic just pressed a kiss to his forehead, his own panic and stress seeping from his mind now. The night had been enough for the pair already, Noah would probably be out of commission for a few days now at least, it was a good thing they didn’t have any shows coming up. Nic had already made his decision on the middle of the floor too, he wasn’t going to be leaving Noah’s side any time soon.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Oh peachy, happy birthday to me I guess.” Noah paused for a second before bringing his gaze over to match Nic’s, his bloody hand gently holding his chin and caressing it. “I love you, I don’t say it enough.”

“I love you too.”

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved - the masterlist

summary: the story of how naomi and noah fell for each other... and then some.

(and the story of how nicholas loved them the entire time.)

noah x ofc x nicholas

alternate universe where the band still exists but nothing is accurate at all :P

cw/tw: will contain depicts of anxiety/anxiety attacks, alcohol and drug use, sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), and the canon event everyone goes through: sexual identity crisis. will add tags as i go on!

CHAPTERS

chapter one: firsts chapter two: changes chapter three: unexpected chapter four: all i need chapter five: the liars club

[saintveil]

I may end up writing both, but which one would yall prefer to see first?

[concreteburialplot]

Intertwined // 05

-> 05 - Girl Crush*

pairing; noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist; here | crossposted; ao3 | word count; 10.3k 😅

warnings; sad lol, dumb boys, mutual masturbation, p0rn, alcohol, peer pressure, vomiting, college!omens, jolly intro, gay panic & very mild gender confusion??, denial is a river in egypt, 18+ MDNI

REMINDER: this is an au where everyone is around the same age, follows no actual timelines/events, and uses oc's for family members.

a/n: don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

-NICHOLAS- 

It had been about a month since Noah moved out completely and was fully living with us. It wasn’t that difficult of a transition since he stayed with us most of the time anyway. He seemed to be finally settling in and getting comfortable, which I was happy about.

Him living in my house wasn’t the only thing that became comfortable - in fact maybe we’d gotten too comfortable. 

That first night weeks ago, where we took care of our morning wood next to each other, wasn’t the last time. It started as that one time thing, then an occasional thing, then finally, a casual thing. Neither one of us seemed to take it seriously, maybe to play off the implications of it. Because what else are you supposed to do when you jack off next to your best friend regularly?

It became so casual, sometimes as if the other wasn’t there.

--

My half-asleep ears fill with the faint sounds of moans, accompanied by restrained groans I recognize. The more I wake I feel movement behind me.

I stir a bit before turning around finding Noah pumping himself under the covers while holding his phone in the other. He jumps a little when I catch him but doesn’t stop. His actions only halt temporarily.

“Sorry if I woke you up.” He says bashfully, baby pink tinting his cheeks.

“It’s fine.” I gulp, my eyes drifting to the obscene noises coming from his phone. “Whatcha watching?”

He shrugs, tilting his phone to me, revealing the most generic looking porn I’ve ever seen. But porn is porn and it makes my already semi-hard dick twitch. “You wanna… watch too?”

My cheeks grow warm at the offer, “Oh, um, I mean, I don’t wanna intrude…” Though, I can’t help my eyes from being glued to the screen.

He shifts a bit and reaches over, setting the phone down between us propped up in a divot of comforter. In the clumsy process, the duvet slides off his lap revealing his cock.

My eyes widen at the sight of him but I immediately divert my attention so that he doesn’t catch me and assume something else.

“Oh sorry.” He blushes and goes to cover himself again but pauses, “Actually, do you mind? I just don’t wanna deal with the mess and-“

“I don’t mind.” I reply faster than intended. I shake my head, “I just don’t wanna… do that. But I don’t care if you do.”

“Cool.” He nods and returns to his previous position with his eyes locked on the screen.

There’s a panicky heartbeat lingering in my chest but the throbbing in my cock takes precedence. I relax a bit beside him and life the duvet higher up on my body, trying to cover as much of myself as possible.

I spit into my hand before dipping it beneath the covers and down around my member, working it out from my shorts. A hiss leaves my mouth at the coldness of my palm but it doesn’t take long for that discomfort to fade.

My eyes begin on the phone, to the blonde woman with large unnaturally perky breasts being railed by some strong man with a big dick, something you’d find on the first page of any porn site. Not my usual cup of tea but whatever, it’s doing something for me right now.

Naturally, my eyes drift and happen to fall on Noah’s cock. His large hand works up and down his member – he’s duo-toned darker at the base and lighter towards the tip, kind of like me just much pinker. I glance between him and the man in the video. He’s smaller than the man, but he’s definitely not small. The video is obviously emphasizing the man’s large size, but he’s still smaller than me, not by much but he is. It makes me wonder if Noah would be impressed by my size.

Why would I think that? What do I care if Noah’s impressed by my dick?

Noah’s probably not even looking at him like that, I’m just weird I guess.

As if on cue, Noah comments.

“I wish my dick was that big.”

Not wanting to stay uncomfortably silent, I nervously chuckle, “Yeah me too.”

“Well, how big are you?” He asks casually.

My eyes nearly pop out of my head. Surely, he doesn’t actually wanna know.

“Oh – oh, I don’t know, but I don’t wanna take the covers off because-“

Noah proposes a solution, “I could feel?”

“I uh – what do you mean?”

“Like, feel it under the covers. So, I can’t see it. That’s what you’re insecure about isn’t it?”

“Um, I, well,” I stutter, trying to think of any sort of appropriate response. I should say no. I shouldn’t want him to do that. But something in me screams that this might be the only time this could happen – not sure why that’s even important. “Um, sure.”

I scooch a little closer to him so it’s easier for him to reach. Unexpectedly, he brings his free hand up to his mouth and spits into it. My eyebrows furrow at the action, not quite understanding why that’s necessary. But when his arm snakes itself under the covers and his hand replaces mine, I’m suddenly not as confused.

My eyes round at the feeling of his hand around me and every muscle in my body tenses when he starts moving.

“Jesus, you’re pretty big.” He says before his hand even reaches my tip.

Suddenly, all the nerves in my body seem to flood to cock and I feel so sensitive under his fingertips. I should be watching the video, but my eyes bounce between his still working on himself and on his other one bobbing under the covers. I can’t tell fully, but it seems like he’s pumping himself faster than before.

His palm reaches the head then slowly slides back down. “You’re so much bigger than me.” His voice seeming casual, but there’s a hint of strain beneath it.

His words and his even faster movements on both of us only worsens the buzzing in my cock.

“Is this okay? I just, I’ve only ever felt my own dick so, I’ve only ever imagined what having a bigger one would feel like.”

“Yeah, yep. It’s fine.” I reply quickly, just trying to maintain my composure.

My chest rises and falls rapidly and my fingers curl into the sheets. A familiar knot forms in the pit of my tummy and the last thing I want to do is cum while he’s touching me. His hand moves on me at the same speed as on his own. His fingertips stride up and down the underside of my length, hitting the sensitive spot beneath my tip every time. My lips press flat together as I try to stave off my orgasm – I don’t want to cum while he’s touching me, but I also don’t want him to stop.

Thankfully he has less stamina than I do.

“Ah, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He groans, working quickly on himself chasing his climax. “Fuck, fuck!” He whines desperately. His hand doesn’t stop on me while his hips buck up into his hand spurting milky white all over his exposed tummy.

The visual of his cock twitching and spilling cum all over his hand, combined with his high pitched moans and his hand on me catapults me over the edge. “F-Fuck.” I sputter out a strangled groan and scrunch my eyes closed. Before I have time to yank him off of me, my body goes rigid beneath him. The buzzing across my skin seems to all rush into my throbbing cock in Noah’s still moving hand. “O-Oh.” Slips from my mouth just above a whisper while every muscle in my abdomen tightens. I feel myself twitch and spill my own cum into the duvet and all over his hand.

The orgasm nearly blinds my vision and my heart beats so fast I can hear it thumping in my ears. Those couple seconds where it was just me, my racing heart and my throbbing cock, it was pure bliss. Possibly the hardest I’ve ever came before. 

It’s not until I begin to come down that I realize what just happened and that… he worked me fully through my high? 

My eyes shoot open the second I return to earth and feel his hand finally slip off my softening member. For a split second I contemplate if there’s a way for me to get out of this without even looking at him and god I wish there was. 

Fuck

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” I begin to profusely apologize before he cuts me off. 

He laughs, “It’s okay. I’m sure having someone else’s hand probably feels a lot better than your own. Even if it had been you I probably would’ve came even faster than normal… and you know I already don’t last long as it is.” He chuckles with a light peach tinting his cheeks.

One part of me feels bad that I hadn’t returned the favor, until I remember I didn’t really even want to do this to begin with. Then, another part of me wishes I had returned the favor, maybe I wanted to know the same thing he did - maybe I want to know what another cock would feel like in my hand too. 

“Yeah - um,” I swallow the little saliva I have left in my dry mouth. “Yeah it was nice.” 

He pulls his hand from beneath the covers. “So much for not making a mess.” He laughs. 

My eyes round when I see just how much I had spilt all over his hand. “Yeah, yeah sorry again, I just didn’t think that…” My eyes follow his stare on the milky white mess of mine on his hand. 

His coffee brown eyes snap up to mine and utters out the last words I ever thought he’d say. “Have you ever tasted your own cum?”

I blink blankly at him, completely devoid of words. 

What the fuck

“I-I um, no? Why would I?” 

“I don’t know, curiosity?”

“…Have you?”

“Well, yeah, I wanted to know.” He shrugs. “It was gross, bitter. But,” His eyes flutter back down to his hand. “I’ve obviously never tasted anyone else’s. I wonder if yours tastes different?”

My brain seems to glitch, not fully comprehending his statement. 

“I-I um, I mean, probably.”

“Would it be super weird if I tasted it?”

My brows shoot up at the question. 

But I reply before I’m even sure of my answer. “No, I um, don’t think it would be that weird?” 

And it wouldn’t be, right?

He’s just curious.

Just like he was about my cock. 

“Alright.” His tone much less confident than just seconds ago. 

His dark brown eyes drop to the puddle of my cum on his right hand, just above where his thumb meets his hand. He lifts it tentatively up to his mouth; my eyes can’t help but rotate between his face and his approaching hand. Hesitantly, he darts his pink tongue past his lips to dip the tip of it into the puddle. Unexpectedly, his eyes find mine, snapping me out of my gaze that was locked on his tongue. His mahogany eyes surprise me, with how round and soft they are - so puppy dog-like for a situation such as this. I blink at him and for some reason, seeing him flatten his tongue a bit on the remnants of me makes my cock twitch. He takes a scoop of my orgasm on his tongue and into his mouth. 

“Hm.” He hums, almost sounding pleased, like he was taste-testing wine. “You taste better than me. Sweeter. Must be all those bananas you eat.”

Sweeter

My brows join together, perturbed, “It can’t be that different?”

His boney shoulders raise into a shrug. “You can try mine if you want? To make it even or whatever.” He gestures his left hand up a bit to remind me that his mess remains on that hand too. 

“Oh - I - well -“ I watch his hand gesture towards me again. The turbulence in my tummy reminds me of when someone offers you a gift and out of politeness, you’re supposed to refuse it - but I don’t want to refuse. I want to know.

“Oh c’mon it’s only fair, it’s not that bad.” He urges me, only reaffirming my inability to voice a decline. 

I look down at the back of his hand covered in cloudy white rivers. My fingers gently take hold of his wrist and he lets me take control of his arm without a single ounce of resistance. I bring his hand to my lips and copy his actions - dart my tongue out and meet his eyes. His are just as intrigued as mine were, locked in my tongue. 

The second his cum meets my taste buds, my eyes flutter closed. I’m surprised at the taste, it’s bitter and salty, what I imagine battery acid must taste like. The texture is about what I imagined, thick and slimy. And yet, even with the immediate disgust of it, it makes my cock twitch again. There’s a tingle in my fingertips and on my tongue that urges me to lap up the rest of his orgasm but I fear if I did, I’d be completely hard again. I never thought something as rancid as battery acid would make me hard, but for some reason right now it’s threatening to. 

I’ve never been more grateful for anything more than the duvet on my body right now. 

I half-force a twist in my face at the taste as I pull back from his arm. “Augh, that’s disgusting.” 

He lets out a hearty laugh, “See! Told ya.” 

A nervous chuckle escapes me, “That you did…” 

-Next Day- 

Since landing an apprenticeship at a local tattoo parlor, I don’t see much of either Noah or Folio. While I’m at work after class, they’ve been hanging out at the library in a study group full of people I barely know - people from the frat party a couple weeks ago. 

Today though, I got off my shift early and I’m on a different mission. 

-

My tires screech and the weight of my entire body jerks forward as Stella makes another abrupt stop at a redlight. My hand lands on my dash as a reflex I had gotten far too familiar with.

My tongue passes between my lips before pressing them together and close my eyes through a deep breath. I consider myself a fairly patient person, but if there’s anyone on earth who could get me to snap, it is definitely my sister.

“I told you to start braking 5 million feet ago.” I exhaled with the hopes of Buddha himself coming down and bestowing me with a well-deserved medal of excellent patience.

“Whatever, we still stopped, didn’t we?” She sasses, as she continues to dance to whatever pop song pours through the speakers.

“Yeah, barely.” I grumble, crossing my arms in the passenger seat. “I have no idea how they let you pass your driver’s test.”

“You are so grouchy today.” She glares at me. “What, did the shop bully you again?”

My eyes roll so hard they could’ve fallen out. “No.” I clench my fingers into my palms and stretch them out as overlayed flashbacks of scrubbing every inch of the tattoo parlor flash across my mind. “No, I just cleaned a lot. Fumes. Headache.”

“Right.” She responds unconvinced.

The car takes a sharp turn into a plaza I’ve only ever driven past before and pulls into a parking spot right in front of the destination of my mission.

“We’re here!” She beams, turning the engine off.

We walk up to the small shop snuggled in the tiny strip. The walls look like they were once white, a long, long time ago. Now they’re stained a yellow-y beige with weeds and vines growing across the plaster.

“’Record Store. Plus repairs.’” I read off the giant red letters above the door. “How creative.”

Stella’s elbow sharply jabs into my ribcage. “Ow!” I hiss and recoil away from her. 

“Be nice. Be cool.” She scolds me in a hushed tone.

Whatever the fuck ‘nice and cool’ means to a teenage girl.

A bell trills sharply when she pushes open the glass door. A rush of cold AC blasts against our skin soon as we step into the foyer. 

At the tall reception desk stands a man with lengthy brown hair and a long face. He looks a couple years older than me, at least 23ish.

“Hi Jolly!” Perks Stella almost jumping the second her fingertips meet the glossy wood.

My teeth dig into my bottom lip in an attempt to stifle a giggle when I see the man noticeably deflate the moment he hears the shrill chirp of my sister’s 16-year old voice.

He sets down his pen on whatever paperwork he was working on and turns to us, “Hello Stella.” He greets flatly, with a hint of a foreign accent I can’t place yet.

It’s quite obvious that she comes in here often, more than she’s let on – enough for them to be on a first-name basis.

“Jolly, this is my brother Nick, Nick this is Jolly.” She beams at his name, completely smitten with the older boy. If it wasn’t so obvious that he’s irritated by her mere presence, I’d be more protective of her - but she’s perfectly fine. She’s made sure of that herself.  

“Hey.” I meekly wave at him.

He acknowledges me with a nod and looks back at her. “What’s up.”

“Well, we need your help!” She rocks up and down on her feet with her hands behind her back.

“Great. What is it you need help with?” His fingertips restlessly patter on the table top, impatiently waiting for her to deliver her pitch faster. 

“Go on Nick, show him.” She urges motioning her hand towards him.

I sigh and pull out my phone from my jean’s back pocket, then scroll to find a picture of Noah’s snapped guitar and hand it to the man.

“Could you fix that? Or know someone who could?” I inquire, already feeling as though the trip was hopeless.

His brows pull together as he inspects the picture then uses two fingers to zoom in on the instrument. “Whoever did this really did a number on it.”

“Yeah.” I mumble, scratching the back of my neck. “So, do you think you could fix it?”

“Hmm.” He hums, pulling down his thick-rimmed glasses down his nose. “I can’t say for sure, you’d have to bring it in.”

Air escapes my throat with another sigh, that’s the last thing I wanted to hear. “Okay. I’ll get it in as soon as I can.” Even though I have no idea how I’ll be able to do that without Noah noticing.

He hands me back my phone, “That’s a really rough break.”

“Trust me, I know. Thanks for looking.” My tone suddenly lacking optimism. “And sorry about…” When I turn to point at Stella, I realize she’s not beside me anymore, now shuffling through the various wooden crates of records. “Her.”

He taps his pen against the counter and glances over at her. “It’s fine. She brings friends in. They buy records. Sales are sales.” He shrugs before going back to whatever he was working on before we interrupted him.

Stella doesn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon so I let myself roam around the shop. The majority of the small store is made up of boxes full of records, a mix of old and new. A small, separated section has various instruments strewn about, most of them looking refurbished. The air is pungent with the smell of sandalwood incense, some kind of chemical-y polish, and stale wood.

“Okay! Ready to go!” Stella calls from behind me and when I turn to her she’s holding a record that I recognize.

“Since when do you listen to Nine Inch Nails?” My brow arches up, seeing as she’s only ever been a Taylor Swift type of girl.

She giggles, “Jolly suggested them.”

I take two fingers and pinch the bridge of my nose with a deep sigh, “Okay, whatever, let’s go.”

--

Stella and I walk into the house and my ears are immediately unsettled by the sounds that fill the house. They’re giggles, some I recognize to be Noah’s but the other is quite … feminine. 

The edges of Stella’s lip curl into a mischievous grin, “Oooooh Noah snuck a girl innnn.” She snickers in a sing-song tone.

“Go to your room Stella.” I order, mostly because her tone irritated me but also because I don’t want her to see what’s behind the cracked door.

She gives me a glare, “You’re just jealous that he’s getting some and you’re not.”

“Go. To. Your. Room.” I repeat sternly through gritted teeth.

“Fine, whatever. Be the party pooper you always are.” She huffs before turning down the hall and slamming the door behind her when gets to her room.

I blink at the doorknob as her words sear into my chest. I question even interrupting until another giggle pierces my eardrums.

I’m precarious with the way I approach the cracked door and peer in. Noah and the girl from the party, Kassidy, next to each other on the bed with open textbooks and notebooks littered about. They’re laughing at something but all I can focus on is her hand on his thigh. An odd twist forms in my abdomen, somewhere between my ribs and my gut. It makes me feel sick, like I ate some gas station sushi.

My knuckle taps on the door and creaks it open. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey Nick!” Noah seems surprised to see me but not necessarily upset by my presence, which for some reason eases the knot in my chest. “I heard a door slam did-”

It’s not until the blonde waves at me with the hand that’s not glued to Noah’s thigh that I realize the anger staining my fingertips.

“Noah, can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask through a fake smile.

“Sure.” He nods, “Be right back, Kass.”

Once the bedroom door clicks behind him, I feel myself begin to unravel.

“Does my mom know you’re bringing girls home?” I question, my voice coming out much harsher than intended.

“No…?” He answers. “I figured I would just do what we always did with each other? Sneak in.”

“Okay well, I don’t appreciate you bringing girls into my room. Please tell me you guys didn’t do anything in my bed.” The words shoot from me, quick and sharp, like acid bullets.

His face falls and I see the light behind his warm eyes dim.

My

Fuck

I regret the words the second I realize my mistake. Though I suppose on some level, deep down, I knew that the word choice would hurt him, but I said it anyway.

I said it anyway.

I was so upset that I said it anyway.

“No?” He replies sounding a bit offended at the accusation, even though it’s not out of the realm of possibility. “I wouldn’t do that in your bed.”

The impulse to lash back is there, bubbling just under my skin, but I have no reason to be angry. No valid, explainable reason. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Lie.

“Right.” Noah says softly but with a slight edge. “Well, I” He thumbs over his shoulder. “Um, she was just about to leave so.”

“Okay.” I reply quietly, suddenly overwhelmed with an odd mixture of anger and guilt.

-

While Noah escorts the girl out to say goodbye, I begin tidying up the room. Noah is pretty clean thankfully, so the room itself is clean, but I can’t shake the feeling of something oddly foreign within the four walls. The room suddenly feels so dirty and the taste on my tongue is sour like expired milk. My eyes land on the bed sheets and my stomach feels like I had drank expired milk – maybe 3 whole gallons of it. My mind struggles to account for the food I had eaten today but fails. Surely that is the reason for my abrupt nausea.

Before I can even process my actions, my fingers hungrily latch onto the bed sheets, snapping each fitted corner off the mattress. Heavy textbooks and pens hit the floor with a loud crash.

Despite having just washed them, I’m absolutely positive that they’re filthy.

Maybe they smelled too much like stagnant laundry this morning

Maybe they were making me itchy last night

Maybe I developed an allergy to our detergent

Maybe it’s been too warm and I soaked them in sweat

Or maybe I just want to clean the fucking sheets.

“Oh,” Noah’s gentle voice startles me from the doorway. His eyes trail up from the mess on the floor to the balled-up sheets beneath my palms. “Um, did I accidentally get highlighter on them or something?”

“Nope.” I’m quick to answer. “Just wanna wash ‘em.”

His brows furrow still looking at where my hands keep the shape of the large sphere of material. “Oh. Um, well. I just washed them like 2 or 3 days ago?”

“It’s fine, I just want to wash them again.” I respond shortly.

“Okay… well, let me do it then.” He crosses the space between us going for the sheets but I pull away.

“No. I got them, thanks.” I avoid him by swerving around his thin body and head towards the door.

 “Well, what can I do? I could mop again or… reorganize the fridge? Or…” He trails off, not being able to come up with much else.

“No, Noah. It’s Stella’s turn to mop and who the fuck offers to reorganize a fridge?” I snap at him from the doorway, “You don’t need to be cleaning the house 24/7, okay?”

His eyes falter but he nods “Oh, sorry, I um, I just wanna be doing my part. You know… earn my keep and all that? I just… wanna help.”

My face softens and the tight muscles in my shoulders ease. I feel guilt all over again. 

I sigh. “I’m sorry – I just - I just had a bad week with school and with the shop and,” I pause. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, okay?”

He nods and the edges of his mouth upturn ever so slightly into a tight-lipped smile. “Okay.” He pauses, fidgeting with his fingers. “Sorry about Kassidy. I should’ve asked.” He says quietly while his eyes drop to his anxious hands.

The tips of my fingers curl into the sheets a bit, a stream of… frustration maybe?  shoots through my veins. “It’s okay. I just don’t want my mom to get mad.”

A half lie.

“Right.”

When I turn to leave, he stops me, “Oh – I wanted to ask you something?”

My eyes widen while still turned away from him. A chill rolls up my spine at the realization that we’ve barely spoken since yesterday morning, when his hand was around my cock.

“Um sure, what’s up?” I turn back to him cautiously.

“Well, the fair is in town this weekend, I thought we could go? You know, me, you and Folio?”

I smile at him, relieved it wasn’t about something else. “Sure, sounds fun.”

-Friday Night-

When Folio comes to pick us up, I immediately regret agreeing to carpool. The passenger side door flings open with yet another blonde in the front seat. This one a bit more of a natural, darker blonde and not nearly as bobblehead-like. She looks vaguely familiar, maybe she was one of the wannabe sorority girls from the frat party.

I sigh when I glance over to my busted blue car that’s been acting up every morning since the cold weather’s been getting closer.

The girl smiles wide at us and gets out so we can fold her chair to get to the backseat.

We squeeze our way to the back and naturally, Noah’s mile-long limbs take up most of the room.

The thick distinctive stench of paper-wrapped nicotine coats the cracking plastic of his car doors and the pungent aroma of $10-per-gram weed oozes from the stained beige seats.

Even though Nick brought his ‘friend’, I feel decent about the fair tonight. I mean these are the things we should be doing, right? Going out is what college kids do.

The girl hands back a plastic bottle wrapped in brown paper and Noah hungrily takes it.

“Vodka.” She says simply with a dazed smile.

“Cool.” Noah grins, though I know he’s never tasted pure vodka in his life.

He puts the bottle to his lips and tips it back, immediately scrunching his face in disgust at the taste. If it was just us, I know he would’ve spit it out.

He wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand, “Not bad.” He lies straight through his teeth.

Noah tips the bottle offering it to me. I shake my head and wave it off, “No, I’m good thanks.”

“Oh, c’mooonn Nick, don’t be a wuss.” Noah whines.

“Yeah Nick, loosen up! Have some fun!” Folio perks up from the driver's seat and watches me in the rearview mirror.

The last time he told me to “loosen up”, he ended up floundering in a lake so it hardly has an enticing ring to it.

“No really.” I reaffirm. “Not for me.”

Noah tsk’s and rolls his eyes, “You’re no fun.”

The words hit me square in the chest and my ribs mold around the letters like playdoh.

You’re no fun.

They’re simple words. Logically, I know they’re mostly a joke. Yet, they burn like a lit match colliding with white paper.

You’re no fun.

We’ve been friends for a long time. Long enough to sit in boring silence scrolling on our phones comfortably for hours. But now I’m no fun because I won’t drink out of a foreign bottle?

The searing in my lungs forces my hand to reach and snatch the bottle from him abruptly. I don’t think, I just do. I take the bottle to my lips and tilt my head back with scrunched-closed eyes. I chug, better he did and better than the girl, until the scorching of my throat gets too much.

I shove the bottle back at him, now an extra quarter empty. His face and every other face in the car seem shocked, eyes wide with slightly dropped jaws.

“What?” I hiss and let out a vodka-singed burp. “You told me to have fun.”

--

Nick’s wheels roll to a halt in the dirt of the fair’s extended parking. The crowded car disperses faster than I anticipated, leaving me alone in the empty car. I stumble out of my seat and precariously steady myself in the dirt to scan the parking lot for the group. The four of them are already ahead of me, nearly halfway to the entrance. Their laughter carries in the wind all the way back over to me. 

Once I catch up, I trail behind them quietly. My hands stuffed in my pockets and my Vans kicking up dry dirt, just trying to focus on walking in a straight line. 

As we approach the ticketing office, my heart plummets to my stomach when I see two familiar girls standing at the gate waiting for us. 

I should’ve known.

“Nicholas, you remember Brooke, right?” Noah grins and gestures to the carbon copy of every other sorority girl on campus.

“Yeah. Hey.”

That’s when I notice the delay in my words and the lag between my fingertips as I wave to her. And as we buy our tickets and make our way into the fair, I catch the warmth all over my skin and the growing numbness in my lips.

I think I’m drunk. Really drunk. 

 --

We make a solid lap around the entire park – picking up random snacks here and there, some fried oreos, a shared funnel cake, slushees, and more I can’t even remember. All the fried food mixed with the couple spin-y rides and the alcohol sloshing in my stomach, I was more than ready for an actual meal. I convinced everyone on hotdogs since it’s the cheapest food here and I’d already spent a good chunk of my tip money on ride tickets and overpriced junk food.

When we reach the window of the hotdog stand we’re met with a familiar face.

“Bryan!” Exclaims Folio, excited to see his fraternity mentor.

As always, Bryan looks about as thrilled as a mother of toddler triplets after a candy bender.

“Trout.” He replies unenthusiastically with his monotone cadence matching the deep sleep-deprived purple beneath his eyes.

Normally I would’ve giggled at Folio’s ridiculous nickname but my body was too focused on sustenance.  

“Two hotdogs and fries please.” I skip past the rest of the indecisive group.

“We’re out of fries.” He replies flatly.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

He just shrugs, unbothered.

“Fine. Just the hotdogs then.” I huff.

“Coming right up.” He feigns enthusiasm.

The rest of the group place their orders and I can’t help but find amusement in how comical Bryan looks. He’s uniformed in a hotdog themed apron and a silly hotdog visor.

We finally make our way to a painted blue picnic table that sits off to the side away from the busy crowd. I’m grateful for the small respite from the overwhelming, overstimulating chatter.

I fucking hate hotdogs. Usually.

But the minute that meat and bread combo meets my tastebuds, it is as though heaven itself found home in my mouth.

The rest of table fades out as I devour my food and it is only when I’ve finished my 2nd dog that start regaining consciousness. I glance over at the boys who are in the midst of telling some story that’s got all the girls laughing.

My eyes land on Kassidy. She’s giggling at every single thing Noah says and he’s looking at her like she hung the moon. 

No matter how tacky or annoying she is, she’s still objectively beautiful – beautiful in a way I could never be.

The way she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, makes me want long blonde hair too. When she bats her fake lashes at him, it makes me wish mine were longer. Her nails adorned with white tips suddenly make my nailbeds feel bare. The foundation caked on her face reminds me of the breakout I have on my cheek and the stubble growing beneath my nostrils. All at once I’m disappointed with every bit of myself that isn’t like her.

A fleeting moment of curiosity passes pondering if this is what it feels like to question your gender. It had never crossed my mind to be anything other than male, nothing else I ever desired. I’ve never felt like I was in the wrong body or anything of the sort – so, I don’t quite think that’s what I’m feeling now.

Maybe I just envy her existence or how confident she is. Maybe I find her attractive? It’d be kinda shitty if I found her attractive, seeing as she’s Noah’s date and I’m here with Brooke. I don’t think it’s that either, since I can barely tolerate either of them.

Perhaps I’m just drunk and confused.

I must just be drunk and confused.

Once the food settles in my tummy, I feel significantly better, a little nauseous still but better nonetheless. My buzz has fizzled, but the tips of my fingers still tingle and words are still hard.

I quietly use a leftover bun to move around a glob of ketchup as entertainment. Noah’s always been the social one, he’s always been the connections, the glue. So, it’s no surprise that he’s captured the attention of the whole table, filling the air with collective drunken giggles. Normally though, he helps nudge me gently into conversations. He helps me not stay silent like I am now. It’s fine though, I don’t have much to contribute since they have all these inside jokes from their study group.

I snap out of my daze when I hear Folio crunch a coke can in his hand as he gets up from the table. There’s an emptiness beside me I hadn’t felt til now – Brooke is gone.

My gaze follows the group as they get up from the table to bring their trash to the overflowing garbage can.

“Where did Brooke go?” I ask to the general conglomerate, most of which pay no mind to me.

“She left to go meet up with some other friends.” Noah replies, his tone suggests that he’s downplaying the situation. I’m sure she wasn’t having fun with a half-drunk silent boy.

‘You’re no fun’ rings in my head from earlier in the car.

2 things I’ve learned from tonight are:

1 – eat hotdogs when drunk.

2 – pretending to be “fun” is really fucking exhausting.

“Oh.” I say quietly, matching their actions by tossing my flimsy paper plate and Dr. Pepper can into the trash.

“We’re heading towards the bigger rides, if you want to come.” He turns and follows the rest of the group through some carnival game tents.

‘If you want to’ I mimic him in my head.

No I don’t fucking want to but I was driven here and I’m stranded.

“Yeah.” I mumble and quickly jog to meet them ahead of me.

--

The others made their way to the short ferris wheel line after I insisted it was okay to leave me behind. I sure as fuck didn’t want to sit in a pod alone or 3rd wheel on one of their’s.

I watch Noah and Kassidy’s pod reach and stop at the peak of the small ferris wheel, I don’t know why I’m watching but my body is rooted where I stand. Upon it’s a slow descent down, I see it.

His hand cupping her face. Their lips locked.

It’s not a decision I make until their pod locks at the gate and they’re being let out. My foot swivels in the dirt, kicking up dying grass as I try to dip around various family-owned booths for cover. As feared, I hear him calling from behind. I knew I had messed up by making a run for it so late.

“Nicholas!”

His calling only makes my legs move faster – I’m not sure exactly why I’m running or what good it’ll do, just that I need to get as far away from him as possible.

He catches up to me faster than I was prepared for. Fall leaves crunch beneath his worn-out Converse. “Where are you going?” He asks and before I even turn around to see him, I know the look on his face. The same look that I can’t seem to ever say no to – the one that breaks my back just to make me bend to him.

I sigh and turn to him. “Noah, I’m going home.”

“What! Why?”

And there it was. Big, round, puppy dog eyes full of decadent chocolate so sweet it could rot the teeth right out of your skull - paired with pouted lips that demand pity and restitution.

“I’m not having fun. I don’t want to be here.”

“What? You told me you wanted to go to the fair?” He questions with curved eyebrows.

“No. I didn’t. You invited me. You told me that I wanted to go. You tricked me into being on a triple date I didn’t want to be on.” My arm gesturing towards the fair.

“Well, c’mon we can still make it fun! We can just get some more ride tickets and-” He grabs the sleeve of my flannel and tugs at it towards the fair.

I yank my arm back so hard it nearly pulls him back with it, “No you’re not listening to me Noah. I don’t want to be here. Why do you continue to bring me places that you KNOW I won’t like?”

“We’ve been to the fair a million times, Nick.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yeah! With just us! Not with three random fucking girls!” The churning in my chest begins to spit drunken thoughts out without filters.

His brows knit together in confusion. “They’re not random girls Nicholas, and I really thought you’d hit it off with Brooke-”

“Oh my god, why the fuck would you think I’d get along with her? Just because she’s got tits and ass? Sorry, I’m not you, I need a little more than that.” I scoff.

“Well, I-I don’t know just thought you’d want-”

“Augh!” I groan and pace a tiny lap around the grass. “Can you stop assuming you know what I do or don’t want?”

“So, let me get this straight. You don’t want to go to parties, or the fair, or hang out with girls… normal college stuff, you don’t want?”

My heart pounds hard against my eardrums and my fingers burn with frustration. My fists tighten at my sides and my jaw clenches, digging each row of teeth into the other. Molten lava threatens to spill from my throat.

“No, Noah. I guess I don’t want ‘normal college stuff’, I don’t fucking like alcohol and I don’t even know if I like girls!”

My yelled words tumbled from my mouth so easily I didn’t even realize I said anything that odd until Noah’s eyes widen.

I don’t even know if I like girls.

“What?” Noah asks softly and genuinely with his head tilted slightly.

“I-I,” I stumble back, accidentally hitting an oak tree behind me. “I’m- I just need to go home.”

“Nick.” His hands stretch out to grab my arm as I turn to leave but he’s a millisecond too late. “Nick!” He calls after me.

Every bit of adrenaline available in my body propels me forward, past all the booths, all the rides, and through all the neighboring forest. When my feet finally find asphalt, my head feels like a basketball on a player’s fingertip. My eyes widen at a sharp turn in my stomach. I analyze my surroundings in a split second, running towards a lamp post for support. The moment my palm touches the cold metal, I double over and empty the contents of my stomach onto the concrete. The funnel cake, the cotton candy, the fried Oreos, the slushees, and the goddamn fucking hotdogs all found home the sidewalk.

I don’t even know if I like girls.

I don’t even know if I like girls.

Why would I say that?

Is that true?

Do I not like girls?

Of course, I like girls.

I wobble over to a bench and sit on the cool wood. The weather’s a lot colder now that the sun has set, and I regret not bringing a proper jacket.

I like girls. I know I like girls. Right?

I mean, I’ve been jerking off to girls… this whole time? So, if I didn’t like girls, why would I do that?

I like girls.

Only.

I like girls.

Right?

I shake my head of the thoughts spinning faster than I can even grasp.

The dim light of the street lamp flickers and it occurs to me that it’s almost 10 pm and I have no idea where I am or how to get home.

Fuck.

Pulling my location up in my Maps app tells me that I’m still fairly close to the fair, which unfortunately means I’m pretty far from home. Tears begin prickling in my eyes and a tight knot forms in my throat.

The weight of the night crashes down onto me all at once.

The “you’re no fun”

The fucking hot dogs

The “she went to meet other friends”

The “if you want to”

The ferris wheel

The “I don’t even know if I like girls”

“Fuck.” My voice cracks as tears take hostage of my cheeks.

My body doubles over, folding in on itself to bury my face in my hands.

I’m drunk, I had a shit night, I left my best friends at the fair and now I’m stranded on some random street.

Even through my own heaving, a brief pang of guilt shoots in my stomach for leaving Noah behind.

He wanted to have a good night, perhaps I ruined it. 

In the past, I would’ve stayed feeling guilty because I knew for a fact that if the roles were reversed, he’d come back to find me. But now, I’m not so sure. I don’t think he’d leave Kassidy for anyone or anything.

Not even me.

My palms try to stave off the tears by digging into my eye sockets.

“Fuck, okay. I need to get it together.” I say out loud to myself, letting out a deep exhale. “What the fuck am I gonna do.”

Both of my only friends are still at the fair.

Mom is at work.

So that leaves me with…

Stella.

“Shit.”

I unwillingly pull myself from the bench and begin to pace back and forth taking fast but deep breaths. I ring out my hands out, trying to expel any sort of panic from them. The last thing I need is for her to see me like this.

Finally, once I’ve composed myself, I dig my phone out of my pocket and click her contact name “Snot”.

It rings for a little bit too long and I almost hang up just before she answers.

“Hello?” She asks a little louder than necessary, shortly after I hear a flood of giggles in the background. Her sleepover.

“Hey.” I barely get out without my voice cracking.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asks with concern lacing her voice. There’s the sound of a door closing behind her, shutting out the chatter.

“Oh um-“ My tone pitched up and I feel tears welling up in my eyes again. If the rest of tonight’s events weren’t enough, here I am making a fool out of myself to my little sister. “I forgot about your sleepover. It's fine – I’ll just walk home or something.”

“Walk home? Where are you?”

I swallow the knot in my throat trying to keep my voice level, normal and calm but my pause is long and loud.

“I-I,” My eyes squeeze shut pushing as much of my tears out. “I don’t know.”

“Did you drink?”

The back of my hand roughly wipes my nose. “Yes.”

“Are you with Noah?” Her voice is gentle and kind and reminds me of how our mother would talk to us when we scraped our knees.

I sniffle and my voice threatens to break once more. “No.”

“Okay.” She states as if she just got handed a checklist of effortless tasks. “The girls were just about to go home.” I know that’s a lie. “Drop me a pin and I’ll come get you.”

“Thanks Stell.” I reply quietly.

“Of course.”

--

It took about 20 minutes for Stella to pick me up in my own car.

My arms wrap around my shivering body and my head rests on the window as I watch the streetlights zoom past us. Her speed is inconsistent, fast in short bursts then slow in long drags. Her stops are jerky and her turns wide. If this was an early Tuesday school morning, she wouldn’t be able to stop my mouth from rambling off critiques. But tonight, opening my mouth seems more dangerous than her driving.

“So. Do you wanna talk about what happened?” She cuts through the silence unapologetically, like opening a crisp can of Coke in a dead, silent room.

I shake my head.

“C’mon. You can’t really expect me to pick you up in the middle of nowhere at midnight without any context?” She patters her fingertips on the steering wheel and glances over at me. “Did something happen with Noah? Did you get into a fight?”

“Something like that.” I mutter.

She squints her eyes and kind of tilts her head to the side. “You guys never fight?”

“Well.” I reply bluntly. “Things change, I guess.” The fabric of the seat cover stretches as I shift. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

The gears spin in her head, I can almost see them. “Weird.” She mumbles under her breath. “Was it about a girl?”

“I said I’m done answering questions.”

“Sheesh, okay.” She says defensively.

Silence fills every empty space in the car. I’m not sure I’ve ever been uncomfortable around my sister before, but I certainly am now. It’s a new feeling, something I want to run and hide from. My knee bounces nervously as my mind cycles through everything that happened tonight. Regardless of anxiety and confusion twisting my organs into pretzels, I fear that if I don’t say what’s chanting in my head right now, I could explode.

“I told Noah that I don’t even know if I like girls.” I blurt out with extreme urgency, as if I didn’t get it out now, I never would.

Her eyes widen a bit but they stay focused on the road. My heart thumps hard against my chest threatening to jump right out.

“Okay.” She says calmly but cautiously. “And why did you say that?”

“I-I don’t know.” I let the weight of my body finally relax and sink into the seat. “You’ve known me my whole life. Do you think that I… might not only like girls?”

She turns to me at a red light and the face she gives me reminds me of when she was 4 and I was 7, when I speculated that Santa might not be real. Without a second thought she replied, “Of course he’s not real, silly.”

Even at 4 years old she was smarter than me.

“I think that might be a question you have to figure out yourself, Nick. I can’t tell you what you do or don’t like.”

I huff, suddenly frustrated that I couldn’t hand off such a complex task onto someone else – that I couldn’t have someone else give me a quick, solid, factual answer.

“I guess you’re right.” I mumble. 

She returns her focus to the road and lets out a little sigh. “Do you remember when we were little? And we liked Power Rangers?”

“…Yeah?” I reply confused as to what exactly Power Rangers has to do with my sexuality.

“Well, I remember the first time we watched it - and you thought it was so stupid.”

“No I didn’t? I loved Power Rangers?” 

“No.” She corrects me. “At first, when it was just us, you thought it was dumb. But then all your friends started liking it and suddenly you did too. You even wanted to be the red one for the group costume that Halloween, remember?”

“Okay… and? What are you getting at?”

“I can’t tell you what you are or aren’t, Nick. But you’re right - I have known you my whole life. And I know that sometimes you change things about yourself to, I don’t know… not make waves? Not stand out? To fit in? I don’t know your reasoning and I don’t know if that’s what you did with this. But… just something to think about I guess?”

My fingers tap at my knee in thought. I don’t really remember that specific component, only that I had Power Ranger shirts and bedsheets. I remember playing with the figures on the playground with friends and running around the neighborhood with them on Halloween as the Red Ranger. If I was having fun, does it really matter if I didn’t actually like Power Rangers? 

“Yeah… I guess it’s something to think about.” I let out a deep sigh. “How’d you get so smart anyway?”

She shoots me a smile, “I learned from the best.”

“Nope, definitely not me. That was all Mom.”

“Who did you think I meant?” She smirks.

“Ha-ha so funny.” I roll my eyes with a toothy grin, finally feeling the tiniest sliver of ease enter my body.

The relaxation slipped from me as quickly as it arrived. “Please don’t um, tell her…or anyone that we talked about this – especially Noah.”

“You got it. I would never.”

I somehow feel relieved yet terrified of what I’ve just divulged to her.

“Do you wanna get donuts from that 24-hour place? And maybe some water for your inevitable hangover?”

“God yes please.” My thumbs rub circles into my throbbing temples. “And a burger please, jesus I need a burger. And fries, I need fries more than air right now.”

“Fiiine, McDonalds too, I guess.”

“Thanks, Stell.” I say soft and genuine.

“Of course, Nick.”

I smile kindly at her. Tomorrow I’ll probably regret everything I said and did tonight but right now, I’m getting junk food with my sister at midnight and the world is quiet. Everything feels okay, even if it only lasts until the end of my Mcdonald’s.

I wave Stella goodnight as she walks into her room. With a twist of my doorknob, I open my door and my feet halt in their tracks. My swollen eyes widen at the last thing I expected to be in my room.

“What are you doing here?” I question before I can even really gauge my own reaction.

Noah sits on the edge of the bed still in the same outfit from the fair.

“I went looking for you.” His brown eyes find mine and it makes my chest ache the same way it did earlier on the bench.

“You did?” My square shoulders soften briefly before straightening back up again. “And why would you do that?” I snap at him.

The space between his brows burrows slightly, seemingly confused by my harsh response. “Well, I-I,” He presses his lips together while his fingers pick at his nails. “I was worried about you.”

My eyes dart down to the carpet and try to ignore the way my heart swells at his words. I swallow hard and curl my fists at my sides. “Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m fine.”

“Oh okay…” He trails off and lets his gaze drop to his fiddling hands and bouncy leg. “I just wanted to make sure, I guess.”

“Okay well, you’ve made sure. Now I really just wanna go to bed, if that’s okay with you.” I cross all of the two feet from the doorway to my dresser and forcefully yank the top drawer open.

He carefully lifts from the bed and meets me where I dig for clothes. “Nicholas.” His voice is gentle and full of concern, but no matter how much it should comfort me it just fans the flames of my resentment.

“What now, Noah.” I sigh harshly and turn to him.

“What did you mean at the fair?”

After the food adventures I had with Stella, it had almost erased what I had said from my memory. Too bad it couldn’t have done that to him too. I was really banking on him being too drunk to even remember. But I should know better than that – Noah and his very selective memory.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feign confidence and turn back away from him to focus on finding PJs. My chest and limbs fill with a feeling similar to sitting in the waiting room of a principal’s office. Suddenly, I’m small and the room triples in size while the oxygen rapidly depletes.

“You know what I’m talking about Nick.” His fingers gently grab my arm to turn my attention to him again. “Do you… not like girls? Do you think you’re-”

“Gah! No!” I all but spit out. The thought of what he was about to say makes me want to vomit all over again. “No, I’m not…that.”

“O-oh, okay…but if you were, you know you could tell me, right? You know you can tell me anything, like we’ve always done.” His voice is quiet and tender, even through the vodka I can still smell on his breath.

“Oh my god Noah.” I grasp at the air in frustration. “No. I just said it to, to throw you off. So you’d let me go, so you’d leave me the fuck alone.”

“Oh.” His hand slips from my arm and he takes a step away from me.

If this was any other night, after any other event, I would apologize, minimize it, and say that I’m just having a bad night. But it’s not any other night and I don’t have enough energy in my entire body to make more excuses.

My fingers dig into the bundle of PJs I hold, and my stare stays straight on his chest. “I just, want to take a shower and go to bed. Okay?”

“Right.” He sucks his teeth and nods. “Okay, enjoy your shower then.”

“I will, thanks.” I reply blandly, shoving the overflowing drawer closed.

-

The world seems much lighter now that the thick layer of carnival muck, the remnants of alcohol and vomit were washed down the drain. I scrunch my hair with a terry cloth towel while I walk to my room from the shower.

I’m confused to find my door cracked open with the big light still shining through the door. I spent almost an hour trying to get all the grime off and let the water ease the pulsing in my head. Surely, Noah wouldn’t still be up, it’s almost 3 am.

I quietly creak the door open to find the bed empty.

“Huh?” I whisper to myself and make my way over to the disheveled bed. Noah’s nowhere to be found, but instead there’s a plushy on his pillow. I hook my finger through the plastic carabiner attached to it and lift it to my eyeline. It’s a stuffed tuxedo cat with sunglasses that look similar to the knockoff RayBans I usually wear.

I look back at the pillow and notice there was a note beneath it. I pick it up and unfold it with the cat dangling on my pinky. 

‘Saw this at the fair and thought of you. 

Went to stay over at Kassidy’s so, you can have your room back for the night.

-N’

The breath that escapes from deep in my torso seems to deflate me completely. I knew the slip of up of my words the other day hurt him, more than I thought. A vine of thorns wraps around my throat, each guilt-drenched spike digs into my windpipe. He left because of me.

I take a precarious seat on the edge of the bed, holding each item in each hand. My palm aches to crush the note in my fingers but my eyes burn with salty tears too. All while the cat swells my chest in the saddest way possible. How could someone feel so many things at once? 

I have no screams, no yells, no sobs left in me and my body begs for rest. I can’t let myself wallow in whatever this is, how could I make sense of it now? When my brain is so hazy and my eyes are so sleepy. 

I use the back of my hand to wipe away the tiny bit of tears left in my eyes and set the note and the stuffed kitty on my bedside table. The bed creaks when I bury my knee into the mattress and let myself fall to the middle. 

The bed feels colder and emptier without him in it, but right now I’m not sure this is where I want him to be. 

I reach up to tug the lamp light off and pull the duvet around my shivering body. 

After about 20 mins of stirring with no hope of falling asleep, I give in and just stare into the stillness of the room. My eyes finally adjust to the darkness and start making a sort of mental inventory list counting all of the items scattered around my room that aren’t mine. I try to remember what the room looked like before he moved in, but I can’t.

While there are growing pains, I can’t imagine my room without him in it anymore. He’s tangled himself into the very essence of the space. 

Drawing my gaze across the room, I land on the kitty he’d gotten for me at the fair. I reach across the space and bring it to the bed, placing it in his spot. 

It fills a tiny void in the vast emptiness of the bed and for about 15 minutes I cling to the minor comfort it brings, believing it might help me fall asleep. 

I let out a frustrated sigh. The heaviness of the night drops onto my shoulder blades and finds refuge beneath my eyes. Once again a venomous coil tightens itself around my ribs.

It is mostly confusion that I feel, the only factor I can distinctly pick out. 

The only other one I can somewhat recognize is, loneliness. 

I glance back over to the cat and it dawns on me the possible reason I can't fall asleep. My fingertips tap rhythmically against the mattress cycling through my options until I find one. 

I wrap my thick duvet around my body and grab my pillow before shuffling down the hall. I gently tap my knuckle against her door then crack it open just a bit.

“Stella.” I whisper-yell into her room. “Stella.”

She shifts in her bed and cracks one eye open at me. “Hm?” She groans sleepily.

I let myself in and scuffle across the carpet to her bedside. “Can I sleep on your floor?” I request in a hush. 

“What? Why?” Her brows knit together with her eyes barely open. “What’s wrong with your bed?”

I chew on my bottom lip searching my brain for an answer that makes any sense but there’s only one. 

“It’s empty.” 

Next Chapter -> 06 - Like Us*

tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @concretenoah @kingdomof-omens @the-hell-i-overcame @blackveilomens @xxrainstorm [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]

Thank you for the support on this series and on my other series, Virality. I appreciate it more than you know. I love reading your comments and asks. I am incredibly grateful for them, thank you.

[darksigns-exe]

one-shots

Here you can find all (un)connected one-shots. This is RPF, read at your own discretion. Minors DNI.

Specific warnings can be found on each post.

✦ = smut ♥ = fluff ☾ = angst

➻ secret prompt list fics

girl!noah au:

✦ she's a silver lining | Pairing: Girl!Noah x Matt Dierkes | Word Count: 1.8k

✦ little remedy | Pairing: Girl!Noah x Layla(OFC) | Word Count: 4.4k

noah sebastian:

✦ devour me | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader | Word Count: 2.2k

✦ together: noah sebastian | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader |Word Count: 2.2k

✦ the great escape | Pairing: Noah Sebastian | Word Count: 1.5k

☾ dors encore jusqu'au jour où tout ira bien | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader | Word Count: 5.9k

♥ anywhere with you | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Nicholas Ruffilo | Word Count: 1.1k

✦ a thousand flowers could bloom | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader | Word Count: 1.8k

✦ the manic rhapsody | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader | Word Count: 595

♥ i'll be yours and you'll be... | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader | Word Count: 447

♥ whatever the sun will always sing is you | Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader | Word Count: 2.1k

nick folio:

♥ 38. i want to see you | Pairing: Nick Folio x Reader | Word Count: 699

nicholas ruffilo:

♥ i need you so much closer | Pairing: Nicholas Ruffilo x Reader | Word Count: 632

jolly karlsson:

♥ make me safe | Pairing: dad!Jolly x f!reader | Word Count: 633

✦ gentle impulsion | Pairing: Jolly Karlsson x f!reader | Word Count: 597

♥ find me here where i belong | Pairing: stepdad!Jolly x f!reader | Word Count: 585

darius therani:

✦ the kind of love i've been dreamin' of | Pairing: Darius Tehrani x f!reader | Word Count: 2.5k

✦ heaven in your skin | Pairing: Darius Tehrani x f!reader | Word Count: 3k

✦ dream like a butterfly | Pairing: Darius Tehrani x f!reader | Word Count: 1.8K

✦ like some kind of heaven | Pairing: Darius Tehrani x f!reader | Word Count: 505

matt dierkes:

✦ you live in my dream state | Pairing: Matt Dierkes x f!reader | Word Count: 1.3k

♥ to be alone with you | Pairing: Matt Dierkes x Nicholas Ruffilo | Word Count: 516

jolly x nick (x f!reader):

✦ you help me lose my mind | Pairing: Jolly Karlsson x f!reader x Nicholas Ruffilo | Word Count: 4.1K

✦ it’s just you and me now | Pairing: Nicholas Ruffilo x Jolly Karlsson | Word Count: 3.2k

[deathblacksmoke]

Dramamine—Part 9

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Nick Ruffilo

Series Summary: Cynical, brooding bartender Nick meets too-earnest, pretty boy singer Noah when The Rabbit's Foot starts hosting an open mic night.

CW: a little bit of angst and self-doubt, a little bit of backstory, self-serving pretty flowery apologies, and i made the boys kiss again

*Content warnings are updated by chapter*

Word Count: 1.7K

dividers by @cafekitsune 💐

He’s about ready to own up to it when Autumn walks in, admit what he’s done and face the consequences. He’s pissed her off before and survived — he doesn’t doubt he can do it again.

She sidles up beside him at the register and he’s going to tell on himself when she says something that makes his eyes widen. “Nick texted you?”

His mind reels, wondering how she knows. When he glances over, he’s expecting anger in her expression, or at the very least annoyance. Instead he finds her smiling at him, expression soft.

“How did you know?” he inquires, wracking his brain for an explanation but coming up with nothing. His stomach turns when he envisions Autumn pounding on the door of Nick’s house, or barging into the bar, berating a stranger for something that shouldn’t be her problem. Autumn, as always, coming to his rescue when he can’t do it himself.

He feels sick.

“Do you remember my friend Jasmine?” Autumn offers, and there’s a beat when he questions the relevance of the question. He remembers her vaguely — she and Autumn were friends while Noah was living in Baltimore, a coworker from the university. They’d met once, when Noah came home for the weekend, but he didn’t stick around. It just didn’t feel like home anymore. He was happy that she had someone like Jasmine to fill the void he’d left when he vanished.

He distantly wonders why they don’t see each other anymore before his heart drops, remembering what happened to her. He sees her face, his mind traveling to the photo on the end table in Nick’s living room. Her pretty dark hair, her kind smile.

He doesn’t know how he didn’t connect it, and he feels painfully foolish. Not knowing what else to say, he nods.

“He’s a good guy, Noah,” Autumn utters, a sigh on the edge of her voice as if she hates to admit it. He knows that she’s right, and just recently he would have done anything for her to think so, but right now it makes him feel like he’s out of people on his side. He still needs her on his side. “He’s been through a hell of a lot, but he wants to fix this.”

He imagines how the conversation might go tonight. His mind conjures the image of an apology, at Autumn’s instruction, but yet another letdown. It isn’t the first time someone hasn’t wanted him, and he’s sure it won’t be the last. Already, he’s itching to disappear again. Asheville might be nice this time.

It already took everything in him to come back here. It took even more out of him to open his heart again, and he really thought he’d picked the right one this time — it felt right, didn’t it?

His mind shifts suddenly back to the last time something felt right, the overwhelming joy he’d felt, and rapidly to the look on Aiden’s face when Noah had the nerve to ask if he wanted to get married, to the bellowing laughter and the pity painted across his face that read oh, you poor thing. When he got home from work the next day, half of the apartment was emptied out. He didn’t see him again, but every inch of Richmond stunk of the 3 years of memories they made together.

He knows what it’s like to want to disappear. He knows how hard it is to come back. It isn’t the same, but he knows how it feels for your life to stop dead in its tracks.

It’s a little past 8 already, anxiety bubbling up in his gut as he’s pacing back and forth across his living room. There’s a part of him hoping that Nick doesn’t show, leaving Noah to fill in the blanks on his own, fizzling out slowly and painfully but without a direct and detailed hit to his ego.

Autumn and the guys have gone out to give them privacy, and the thought of being left alone for even a moment after Nick shatters him all over again makes his chest ache. He doesn’t want them to be here to watch it happen, but he still wishes they’d stayed. He can’t be by himself.

His spiral is interrupted by three knocks in quick succession.

He’s nauseated, shaking with nerves, but he can’t deny that he misses Nick. He misses his face, his voice, the way his lips spread into a smile seemingly against his will. At least he’ll get to see him one last time before he disappears from Noah’s life for good, another black mark on his romantic history.

When he swings the door open with shaking hands, he finds himself unprepared for what he sees on the other side. Nick, looking more timid than Noah’s ever seen him, with a hastily put together bouquet of flowers and the most hopeful expression in his eyes.

It’s not at all what he expected.

“I’m sorry I’m a little late, I—” Nick starts, unsteady on his feet and jittery. Noah won’t let himself get his hopes up, but the urge to reach out and touch him is almost unbearable. This was a terrible idea. “I didn’t ask Aut what flowers you like, so…I hope you like hydrangeas.”

He envisions Nick at the shop, agonizing over which flowers to choose to let Noah down easy. He imagines him speaking with a kind stranger who passes by behind him, asking for advice, hurriedly placing together blue hydrangeas, baby’s breath, eucalyptus leaves, and hoping for the best as he rushes out. It’s a lot of effort to put into a heartbreak.

And Noah does love hydrangeas. An awfully pretty flower to sit in a vase on his coffee table to taunt him as he agonizes through his loss.

He guides Nick inside and tries not to let his mind drift backwards to their last encounter on this couch. It’s a struggle every time he’s in this room, not letting himself relive every moment, the floating feeling to the sinking, empty nothing.

They should have done this somewhere else. He’s not looking forward to adding another painful memory to the living room’s history, especially if he wants to stick around after this one.

Each second Nick spends fiddling with his hands instead of making eye contact and getting on with it drags. The bouquet sits sadly on the coffee table and he wonders if he should busy himself with putting them in a vase with water, a distraction from the impending whatever, but he doesn’t want to waste the water. He should probably throw them out.

“You can rip the band-aid off, Nick,” Noah starts, and he isn’t expecting the surprised and hurt expression that casts itself across Nick’s face. His eyes get so sad, concern obvious, and it’s only then that Noah wonders if this might be a different kind of visit altogether. Even through the overwhelming feeling of dread, he feels awfully soft for him. “It’s okay, Nicky, I’m listening.”

“I’m so sorry that I made you feel like I didn’t want you, or that you weren’t making me happy,” Nick starts, and Noah feels as the weight begins to lift off his shoulders, as the tightness in his chest loosens. Nick takes a few deep breaths, a sort of shaky breathing that Noah recognizes. He doesn’t want to let himself have hope, but he watches as the nerves he recognizes in Nick take a different shape than he’d expected. “I haven’t been that happy in a long time, Noah, and I didn’t think it was something that I deserved. It scared the shit out of me.”

It’s against Noah’s own will when the tears start falling. There’s a tiny but clawing part of him that still thinks this is bad—that these flowery, pretty apologies are just an elaborate setup for a letdown that makes Nick look good at the end of it all. When Nick reaches out to place a shaky hand hesitantly on Noah’s knee, still speaking but Noah can’t make out a single thing through all the whooshing in his ears, Noah feels hope for the first time. He forces himself to focus.

“I’m sorry, I’m listening,” Noah says, and the smile Noah loves shows itself for the first time this visit—a wide grin spreading across Nick’s face although his nerves are still so blatant. Nick reaches out to touch Noah’s face, and he almost wants to shy away but doesn’t. He lets Nick trace a thumb over his cheek, wipe away his tears, just in case this is the last time he can have this.

“I know I still have a lot to do to make it up to you, but you deserve to be really happy, and I want to be the one to make you happy,” Nick says, and there’s such sincerity in his tone that it’s unmistakable. There are tear tracks down his cheeks, too, and Noah knows he means it. “If you’ll let me give it a try. I may not be any good.”

It’s something they’ll have to talk about further. They’ll have to spend a lot of time working through it, and Noah will have to give him a lot of shit, but his focus narrows in on one thing. And that’s having him.

He scoots himself closer to Nick, watches him relax as Noah places a hand on his cheek. 

“I would never ask you to unlove her,” Noah says, to which Nick is quick to nod. “Just talk to me. Make a little room for me.”

“I promise I will,” Nick responds, placing a hand over Noah’s on his cheek and the poor thing is still shaking. Noah hasn’t felt so steady in a long time.

He pours his heart into the kiss they share, finding himself praying that they can keep this. That for once, he can get what he wants. He feels that hope grow just that little bit bigger when Nick’s lips move to his cheek, a sigh of relief pressed into the skin of Noah’s face.

“No boy has ever bought me flowers before,” Noah whispers, feeling Nick’s grin spread once more, pulling Noah ever closer.

tags: @concretenoah . @circle-with-me . @darksigns-exe . @ladyveronikawrites . @agravemisstake . @monotoniscreaming . @cookiesupplier . @bngurngheart . @jiizzy . @screamsinsilver . @iknownothingpeople . @anameunmusical . @sitkowski . @baddestomens . @itsafullmoon . @collapsedglasshouses

[sitkowski]

locked [ mini series master post ]

noah's been locked for almost the entire tour on and off, and nicholas promised to let him out when it was over. but there's a few things he has to do before he can earn that key.

blanket cw for this series: chastity device (cock cage) and partner sharing! everyone is consenting and things have been planned out before hand. each part of the series will have its own warnings.

total word count: 4k

divider by @saradika-graphics ⇉ masterpost || taglist signups

folio x noah - discretion jolly x noah - volition matt x noah - inclination nicholas x noah - permission

⇉ taglist:

@baddestomens @malice-ov-mercy @deathblacksmoke @ladyveronikawrites

@dominuslunae @circle-with-me @vinyardmauro @sorrowsofsilence

@collapsedglasshouses @thatchickwiththecamera

[rottingfern]

rainy ghost three by threeeeeeeee

Ask and ye shall receive:

The problem with old manors like these is that they’re splendid in the daylight. The roof in the gallery hall has got these magnificent peaks covered in windows through which the sunlight filters exquisitely, casting deep shadows against which a kaleidoscope of light bouncing off the various shiny surfaces shines brilliantly. Noah walks around in awe down corridor after beautiful corridor, examining the wood paneling and detail work, long-empty display cases casting technicolor spots all over and he feels like he’s lost in a maze, until he comes upon yet another gorgeous, floral-papered atrium with matching curtains.  It feels like the set of an overfunded period series that’s wildly popular on some expensive streaming service, sometimes. Yet where there’s romance in getting lost in an old manor house by day, it’s horribly labyrinthian even months after he’s moved in, and though he’s come to terms with the ghostly infestation by way of Nicholas, he still jumps at the haughty oiled faces that peer down at him from their frames in what he’s dubbed the “dead relatives” stairwell at night. It doesn’t help that he’s taken to keeping the house mostly dark, walking around with a tacky electric candelabra in his (no, Folio’s dead great-aunt-whatever’s) robe like some black and white horror film starlet - for the drama and the aesthetic, of course. Noah can’t even chalk it up to the shuffles he hears sometimes from Nicholas floating (ghosts don’t float, if he’s truly believed to be a ghost and not just Noah gone completely off the rails) around nearby. He's not hearing things, but he swears the eyes on those portraits follow him. “Which one are you?” he calls into the pitch dark, if only to prove they’ve not yet frightened the voice from him.

[darksideoftheshipps]

Here we go.

Nicholas/Noah Star Wars universe moodboard.

Do you want more?

I will deliver more of this.

Requests for moodboards are still open 🖤

(I do only queercoded moodboards)

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved

chapter one: firsts

authors note: hi and welcome :D this is a lovechild me and a friend went down a rabbit hole with and... here we are! was so inspired by @the-way-of-words's polyverse that i couldn't help but create my own. i hope you all enjoy and feedback is appreciated! p.s. please be kind :) don't like it, don't read it! thank you.

pairing: noah sebastian x ofc x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist / cross-posted on ao3

word count: 8.1k (it's a doozy)

cw: depicts of anxiety/anxiety attacks, mental health struggles, 18+ (minors do not interact.)

Noah remembers the first time he met Naomi. It was brief, but it stuck with him.

It was at a random house show he had played with his old band. It was crowded, way too fucking hot, and he remembers being so overwhelmed after their set that he had to make a run for it. He found himself outside, the cool breeze washing over him, and he finally felt like he could breathe for the first time all day. His back met brick and he leaned his head against it, eyes fluttering shut. He just needed a moment to himself, to breathe, and to feel like the world wasn’t as scary as he thought it was.

He loved playing music. He kind of liked being in a band. It’s all he ever wanted to do, all he ever dreamed of since he was 13. It’s really fucking cool sometimes, but there’s still times when it’s gets to be too overwhelming. Sometimes he gets on stage and feels like the world is slowly starting to cave in on him and swallow him whole, like the world is actively working against him. When this happens, though, he’s able to look out into the crowd to find Nicholas to try and come back to himself.

Unfortunately, tonight was not one of those nights.

Nicholas had been putting in more hours at the shop recently, growing his cliental. Don’t get him wrong, Noah was proud of his best friend. So incredibly proud, but at times like this he really fucking missed him. He feels his stomach turn at the thought of the other, but he doesn’t dwell on it for too long.

“You look like you’re about to pass out.”

The voice next to him almost makes him jump out of his skin, eyes springing open and he turns body to stare at whoever the fuck just scared the shit out of him. His rapidly beating heart calms once his eyes land on the stranger, soft eyes staring back at his wide ones.

It was dark outside, but she’s close enough to make out the features on her face. He tries not to stare, really, especially with her concerned gaze on him but he can’t help it. He can tell her eyes are a shade of brown he thinks, maybe hazel, and her full lips are pulled up into a sheepish grin. There’s a faint blush on her cheeks, whether from makeup or embarrassment, but he’s quickly learning that he likes it.

A lot.

Her hair was long, a slight curl to it, and it looked dark. A dark brown, or maybe even black, and he watches her push a loose strand away from her face and behind her ear. His hand twitches as the thought of doing that himself crosses his mind for barely a second but he clears his throat, mentally shaking that image away.

“Shit.” He eventually says, hand coming up to rub at his chest. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry.” She replies, lips dipping down into a frown. “I really wasn’t trying to scare you. I just, uh, saw you run out here and wanted to make sure everything was alright.”

Noah eyes her as she reaches into the pocket of her jacket, pulling out a pack of Newports and a lighter, silently offering him one. He takes it.

“Did you follow me?”

He doesn’t miss the way her head dips to hide the embarrassed smile on her lips. She lights the cigarette that’s now in between his fingers and he brought it up to his lips, inhaling the smoke for a few seconds before blowing it out.

“Maybe.” She says, taking a long drag from her own cigarette. “It might just be the mom friend in me but the second I saw you run out I knew something was wrong, and no one else seemed to check up on you, so…”

With a shrug of her shoulders, she takes another long drag. Noah’s silent for a moment, her words settling into his mind, and he blushes this time. A stranger has never really cared enough to ask him if he’s alright, or even noticed the internal struggle he’s having with himself. Most of the time if people do ask if he’s alright they’re also asking for something in return, and as his eyes roam over her, he can tell she’s not like that.

Something twists from deep inside him.

“Um,” Her eyes meet his and he has to clear his throat. “Just been on edge all day, I guess. Not sure the reason why I freaked out there towards the end.”

“Anxiety is funny like that.” She snorts out a soft laugh. “There doesn’t have to be a reason. Your body and mind are always working against you no matter what.”

He nods. “It definitely feels like that sometimes.”

“My therapist always tells me to close my eyes and count to ten.”

“That’s it?” He snorts. Noah sees her roll her eyes, but her lips are slightly curled at the ends.

“And to take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Try to think of something,” She eyes him for a moment before continuing, “or someone that calms you down.”

He takes another drag as her words settles into his mind. It seems like the most obvious thing – close your eyes, think of something to calm you down, take deep breaths… it’s fucking obvious he should do that. It’s not like he’s never heard it before, he’s certain Nicholas told him the same thing a few times.

He thinks of a time where Nicholas had helped him through one of his episodes, remembering the one night where the other curled up behind him and rubbed his back in slow circles, telling him to breathe through his nose and out through his mouth. His shoulders relax at the thought. Huh.

“I’ll have to try that next time, I guess.”

He glances down to find Naomi staring at him again, her hand reaching out for him to take.

“I’m Naomi, by the way.” Another smile, this time less embarrassed and more soft, friendly. “You were sick up there tonight. Don’t think I mentioned that yet.”

Noah’s heart starts racing the second their hands touch, but this time it’s not panic induced. Or well, maybe caused by some type of panic because what the hell? His are much larger than hers, which was a given, but he can’t stop from staring at how his hand practically engulfs hers. He doesn’t even realize how long he’s been holding on until he notices Naomi cock an eyebrow up at him. He clears his throat.

“Oh. I’m Noah.” It’s his turn to blush and he drops her hand, shoving his into his pocket. “Sorry. Head’s kind of still fuzzy, but um, thank you.”

“Oh, of course. Yeah.” She looks skeptical but doesn’t comment any further. “You probably wanna be alone, huh? Sorry for bothering you with all my therapy talk. Just thought I’d share some knowledge.”

He stares at her for a moment and he’s not sure why, but something inside of him is begging to tell her to stay, to ask for another cigarette. He doesn’t, though, actually he says nothing at all. Instead, he watches her throw her cigarette down to the ground and stomp on it, shoving her pack and lighter back into her pockets. She looks up at him and smiles, and he gives her an awkward one back.

"I'll see you around?" She's already walking away from him and gives him a tiny wave, a hopeful look on her face.

I hope so.

All he can do is nod, swallowing down the lump in his throat as she walks back inside the house and gets lost in the packed room of bodies. He purposely ignores the way his stomach rolls once she's out of view.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there for, letting the cigarette burn out in his hand, before he decides to pack it up and head on home. Nicholas is already asleep by time he gets there, and he gets ready for bed as quietly as he can, memories of tonight floating through his mind.

And once he’s in bed and he lies on his back, staring up at the ceiling, he dreams of soft smiles and even softer eyes.

…

The next time Noah meets Naomi, it isn’t the most ideal situation. He’d tell you that it was actually really fucking embarrassing.

He fucked up on stage that night, more than once, and his bandmates don’t hesitate to let him know. He swallows down the anger and disappointment in himself, fingers tapping against the top of his thighs as he stands in silence while they basically dog on him. He missed a queue, fucked up a note, tripped over his damn feet on stage… the list goes on and on. By the end he can practically hear his heart pounding in his ears, face red from embarrassment. He noticed his breathing was beginning to already get jagged, and he clenches his hands into fists.

He needs to get out of here and fast.

He mutters out a quiet “Sorry” before he pushes his way through the crowd of people, not bothering to even look for Nicholas because he knows he’s not here. Told him earlier in the day when he was leaving for work, a disappointed frown on his lips. Noah can’t forget the way his stomach dropped and how upset he had been in the moment, but now is more than happy that Nicholas wasn’t here to witness the fucking shit show that had went down.

He goes out the back, trying to avoid as many people as he can and their extremely concerned glances. He finds himself back at the same brick wall from weeks ago and practically collapses, leaning back against the wall. He pulls his legs up to his chest and rests his forehead against his knees, eyes squeezing shut.

Everything feels like it’s too much. He can feel everything around him, from the way the wind sounds to the way the ground sounds underneath people’s feet walking near him. The grass beneath him even feels different and he feels like he needs to claw his way out of his skin.

He can’t breathe. He needs to go home.

“Noah?”

It sounds muffled, everything around him does, and he’s pulling his head up slowly from his knees to blink up at whoever called for him. He blinks twice before it finally registers with him that it was Naomi, and the look on her face has him wanting to claw at his skin again. She looks so… worried, like she actually cares that he’s having the worst possible time and wants to make sure he’s okay. It doesn’t make him feel better. He doesn’t say anything, instead presses his lips together and tries to breathe through his nose and out his mouth to calm himself down.

It isn’t working. Of fucking course.

She’s kneeling down in front of him but at a safe distance, keeping her hands to herself as she gives him a once over. He sees her gaze drop to his hands and watches her lips dip down into a frown. He looks down himself and notices that they’re shaking, and it takes him another moment to realize he’s actually shaking all over. He swallows.

Shit.

“Hey, look at me.” He blinks at her again and she gives him a timid smile. “Remember what I told you last time? Breathe through your nose, out through your mouth?”

He nods. “Tried. Not working.”

His voice sounds rough, like it’s not even his. Naomi pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth and chews on it gently before settling down in front of him, crossing her legs.

“Come on, sit like me. Cross your legs and lean your head back against the wall.” It takes a moment but he’s slowly crossing his legs under him, head leaning back against the brick wall. “Good. Is it alright if I touch you?”

He never likes to be touched when he’s like this, only ever letting Nicholas, but he finds himself nodding. He doesn’t even hesitate. She gives him a smile, relieved, and reaches forward slowly. Her fingers wrap around his wrists, pulling his arms towards her, and his entire body physically shakes when he feels her thumbs brush over the insides of his wrists. Naomi doesn’t comment on it.

“Close your eyes for me and keep breathing like I told you, yeah?”

And he does. He spends a few minutes focusing on his breathing, counting to ten before he breathes out each time. In, out. In, out. In, out. In, out. In, out. She doesn’t stop rubbing his wrists, brushing circles on his skin as she sits quietly. A good ten minutes pass before his eyes slowly open, his heart pounding slightly less than it was before. He feels like he can breathe in wholly now and not like something was stuck in his lungs like it has been for the last hour or so.

He finds Naomi staring at him, soft hazel eyes and an even softer smile, never once stopping her movements. “How’re we feeling?”

“Better.” He manages to get out, swallowing. “Not good but… better.”

She frowns. “Do you want me to stop? This usually helps me during an attack, but everyone’s different.”

“No.” It slips past his lips before he can even think about it and he’s shaking his head repeatedly, heart rate picking up again. “Don’t leave. Please.”

Her fingers grip his wrists, putting slight pressure against his skin. “Hey, look at me. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m staying right here. For as long as you want me to.” A pause. “In through your nose, out through your mouth, Noah.”

She coaches him through it, mumbling that same phrase every couple of seconds until his chest has stopped heaving and he was breathing normally again. Not once did she let go of him or stop rubbing circles against the inside of his wrists, and after a few minutes it was the only thing Noah could think about.

Her touch was soft, not too rough, and every so often she’d press down ever so slightly. Like a reminder that she was still there and that he was okay. With one last breath, Noah’s eyes flutter open.

She smiles. “You did such a good job.”

For some reason his cheeks heat up at that, skin feeling like it’s on fire but in the best way possible. He tries to smile back in response, but it falls short into something more awkward and she giggles. Naomi gives his wrist another squeeze before she releases his grip on him, and his heart drops.

He didn’t want her to let go.

"Do you need anything?"

Noah can barely think, exhaustion entering his body. He hated when this happened especially the aftermath because all he felt was exhausted. His bones felt like they weighed ten tons and all he wanted to do was crawl into a ball and never wake up. He shakes his head and pulls his legs back up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees and resting his cheek against the top of it.

"Can you... do that thing again? With my wrists?" He says in a small voice after a solid minute of silence. 

Naomi looks shocked, eyes widening just a bit before she nods and reaches out to wrap her fingers around his wrists again. He lets out a breath he had been holding when her thumbs begin to rub circles against the inside of his wrists, applying slight pressure every so often.

“Do you get like this a lot?” She asks quietly. He shrugs.

“More recently, yeah.”

A silence falls over them, but Naomi doesn’t stop her movements. She pauses her thumbs to scratch her fingernails over the inside of his wrists gently and it’s enough to make him shudder, eyes falling shut at the feeling. For some reason it was actually helping, whatever anxiety he had been feeling before suddenly vanishing.

“Do you have anyone to help you when this happens?”

“Yeah.” He opens his eyes now and picks his head up to rest his chin against his knee. “My roommate – well, my best friend. Nicholas. He uh, he helps, but he works a lot now so sometimes I just deal with it on my own.”

Their eyes meet and Naomi’s lips press together, thumbs pressing against his wrists again.

“Have you ever talked to anyone about it? Like… a therapist?” He groans in response and Naomi laughs. “Sorry, you’re probably sick of me and the therapy talk.”

“No, not sick of you talking about it, just…” Noah groans, dropping his head on his knees again. “Tired of that. I know therapy works and I’ll get there eventually, swear, I just.”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, letting his words drift off. Naomi hums quietly, almost in agreement, but he doesn’t look at her. He can already see the frown on her face.

“I get it. It’s hard.” She scratches her nails against his skin again before letting go and Noah’s quick to look up, face scrunching up in confusion. He watches her reach in her pocket to pull out her phone, holding it out towards him. “Give me yours.”

He doesn’t move at first, just blinks between her and the phone staring at him before he reaches into his own pocket to get his. They both unlock their phones and trade off, Naomi immediately typing away on his. She flips the screen, and he sees a name and a number now added into his contacts.

Mimi [sparkle emoji]

xxx-xxx-xxxx

“In case you feel like this again and your friend isn’t around.” She gives him another one of those soft smiles and he swears he feels his heart flip beneath his chest.

They trade back their phones once Noah enters his number and Naomi – Mimi – reaches for his hands again without being prompted, going back to rubbing tiny circles against his skin. He feels better now, and warm all over and his chest doesn’t feel like it’s going to cave in any time soon.

He liked this feeling a lot.

They sit outside like that for what feels like hours, but was only another thirty minutes, before Naomi’s name gets called from inside the house. She looks sad for a moment and Noah nearly misses it, and she recovers with a smile all too quick. He didn’t miss it, though, and the thought of her not wanting to leave has his kin buzzing in excitement.

“Friends are searching for me which means it’s probably time to head out.” His stomach drops when she lets go of him one last time. “You good to be on your own?”

He nods. “Yeah, I uh. I feel a lot better actually.”

Her cheeks flush again and he forgot how much he liked that from when they first met and he smiles, the first genuine one he had done all day.

“Good.” They both get up from their spots on the ground and wipe off their jeans. “Don’t hesitate to shoot me a text or even call me if you feel like that again and you’re alone. I don’t mind.”

Noah shoves his hands in his pockets and tries to act like her words doesn’t make him feel fluttery. “You don’t have to do all of that. You barely know me.”

She eyes him for a second before softly saying, “Does that really matter?”

No. It doesn’t, he thinks.

They say their goodbyes but before she turns away from him fully, he reaches out, fingers wrapping around her arm to stop her.

“Thank you, Naomi. Seriously.”

She looks up at him through her lashes and the smile she gives him makes him want to throw up, but definitely in a good way, and he finds himself smiling back.

“Don’t thank me.” She murmurs, smile never wavering. “And call me Mimi. All my friends call me that.”

“Friends, huh?”

“Duh. You have my number now – you’re never getting rid of me.”

The night didn’t go the way he planned, but he ended up with Naomi’s number in his phone, and if you asked him if he had laid in bed that night texting her with the biggest smile on his face before he fell asleep, he’d tell you that it was a fucking lie.

(It wasn’t a lie.)

…

The first time Nicholas met Naomi he realized two things.

1: Naomi is everything Noah said she would be. 

She was kind, caring, and tentative to everyone around her. He was sure that if there were a group of them, she would go out of her way to make sure everyone felt included, and not once throughout the night did she make him feel casted out. She gave both him and Noah her undivided attention. It was impressive, to say the least.

He also remembers being mesmerized by her smile and her eyes, noticing the softness Noah had mentioned numerous times beforehand instantly. They were a light shade of brown, and they were inviting and welcoming. He felt like he could get lost in them for hours. It's in that moment where he thinks he finally understands what people mean when they compliment his eyes, especially after Naomi said something to him about them a few hours before.

"Wow." Her voice is hushed, staring up at Nicholas in slight awe. "Noah wasn't kidding when he said you had the prettiest eyes."

He had to dip his head to hide his burning blush, her words sending butterflies throughout his body. Not only did her compliment do him in, but the fact Noah talked about him and his “pretty eyes” when he wasn't around made his head spin.

"Oh, uh. Thank you, Naomi."

"You can call me Mimi." She's smiling now and Nicholas finds himself smiling back. "All my friends call me that."

"We're already friends?" He teases. Naomi - Mimi - grins wider, nudging him with her elbow gently.

"Hell yeah we are. Any friend of Noah is a friend of mine." 

2: Noah definitely liked her more than he had initially put on.

Nicholas' eyes never left the two. The way they interacted, the way Noah would touch her, lean into her and had stuck to her side the entire night. Something inside Nicholas stirred, but he swallowed it down and pushed it to the back of his mind for another time. He wasn't the jealous type by no means, but it was odd to see Noah cling to someone that wasn't him. It made him feel… weird.

He can’t tell if it was a bad thing or not yet.

They were all piled in the living room of their shared apartment, something Nicholas took pride in. It wasn't much but it was theirs. It was home - for now, at least. The three of them passed around a bottle of wine that Nicholas had got on his way home from the shop. They didn't bother using cups and instead just sipped it right from the bottle. 

Mimi reaches across Noah to hand the bottle off to him and he watches as Noah leans his head on her shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. Nicholas guesses the wine is slowly getting to him and he eyes the bottle, seeing it already halfway gone. He brings it up to his lips and takes a long sip, eyes glancing over at the two to find Mimi already staring at him.

Her own face is flushed, and Nicholas thinks it looks lovely, the contrast of the blush against her skin complimenting her. Her hair is tossed up in a loose ponytail, having pulled it up maybe an hour ago, and a few curls have been made free, framing around her face almost perfectly. She looked relaxed – calm, like this was her favorite place in the entire world.

She's not even trying and she's already taking Nicholas' breath away.

"How many tattoos do you have?" 

"Uh," Nicholas glances down at his own body before his eyes find Mimi's again. "A few."

She snorts out a laugh, eyes rolling. "A few. Don't be an asshole." 

It's Nicholas' turn to laugh.

"I'm not trying to be! I just haven't counted them in like... ever."

"You have around 10." Noah speaks up finally. An eye opens to peek at Nicholas before shutting again, leaning his head against the back of the couch. "Maybe more, but last time I counted it was like... 10 or so."

"...You've counted them?"

"Yeah. When I'm bored." Noah pauses. "I like looking at them."

Nicholas is silent. Being in the tattoo industry as long as he has means he's gotten a lot of tattoos he doesn't even remember having, but the fact Noah has taken the time to count them because he liked them does something to him. He glances down at the boy and then up to Mimi who's blinking back and forth between him and Noah, and there's a look in her eyes that Nicholas can't quite place. 

"That's more than a few, Nicky." Mimi murmurs, lips tugging up into a playful smile.

Nicky. His stomach flipped with butterflies at the nickname and he had to turn his head to hide his own smile, cheeks burning. He's never admitted it, but he loved nicknames - specifically that one. The only other person who's ever referred to him as Nicky was Noah and the fact Mimi was already calling him that was a feeling he couldn't describe. He liked it way too much. 

"He's done a few on himself." Noah says, words slurring together. The wine is definitely starting to catch up. "He's done maybe... two on me? I can't really remember. I want more, but he says he won't do any on me until he gets better," His hands go up to do sarcastic quotation marks around the phrase, "but I've told him over and over again that he's fucking amazing." Noah opens his eyes to glare at Nicholas now, teasingly, before turning his head to look at Mimi. "If I could get tattooed by one person for the rest of my life it'd be him."

If his cheeks were burning before, they definitely are now. Mimi's brows raise at Noah's words and she takes another long look at Nicholas, eyes tracing over the art on his arms. He feels kind of self-conscious, like she's judging him because she doesn't agree with Noah. For some reason that makes him feel sick, the thought of her not liking something of his. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"I like that one." She reaches over Noah to brush her fingers against Nicholas' skin, pointing at the tattoo on his neck. He knew exactly which one she was pointing to, the rose with the web and eye attached. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you didn’t do that one?”

His skin burns from where she touched and he has to swallow before answering, "Nah. I’ve done a few on my legs but that’s it.” He takes another long sip of the wine. “I did draw it, though. Just let someone else at the shop do it for me."

She nods, eyes tracing over his arm before looking up at him through her lashes, a soft grin stretching across her lips. "Do you draw most of them?"

He gives her a nod in response, and he watches as her lips form around the word wow, eyes shining bright as she looked over his tattoos again.

"Nicky's an artist, Mimi. Of course he draws most of them." Before Noah even finishes speaking, Mimi's pulling away to pinch at the others side. He laughs, loud and bright and it makes something beneath Nicholas’ chest clench. Noah curls his body away from her and ultimately leans into Nicholas, head falling onto his shoulder. 

"Do you draw for other people?" She questions, focus going back to Nicholas. He nods, shifting under Noah to wrap an arm loosely around his shoulder. Naomi’s eyes drop to his arm and then back up to him.

"Of course. Some people give me the freedom to do whatever or they come in with an idea and I just draw based on that." 

"Cool." She pauses. "Could you draw me something?" 

"...You want me to draw you something?"

Naomi shrugs and he doesn't miss the light flush on her cheeks. He tells himself it's because of the wine. "Well... yeah? I'd love for you to draw me something. I can pay you for a commission, whatever you want. I don't mind."

"No." He's already shaking his head. "Absolutely not. You're not paying me for anything. We're friends, remember?"

"You made me pay." Noah grumbles. Nicholas reaches down to pinch at his side, just like Naomi had done, but this time Noah curls himself further into his side, swatting at his hands.

"Shut up, I did not." He looks up at Naomi once Noah calmed down. "Don't listen to him. I would never make him pay; he's just being a brat."

She laughs, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth as she eyes Noah before flickering her gaze back to Nicholas. "Oh, I know. I've caught on to that really quick."

Something in her words makes his skin buzz and he can't help but think there's some kind of hidden meaning behind them. His eyes flicker between her and Noah, but the boy seems to pay no mind to her or her words, nuzzling himself closer to Nicholas' side – if that was even possible. 

"Not a brat. You guys are just mean." His words slur together, eyes fluttering shut. Naomi rolls her eyes, arms crossing over her chest.

"Right. Whatever you say, Davis." She gazes at Nicholas again, light eyes meeting her own. "But seriously, Nicky, let me pay you or something. Buy you dinner. Whatever you want." 

Nicky. There it is again. He pauses to collect himself, trying to ignore the way his fingers twitch and his skin buzzes, and then sighs out his response.

"You're not going to let me do it unless I let you pay me, huh?"

"Nope."

"Fine." He ponders on it for a moment, weighing the options in his mind before settling on his choice. "If you let me draw whatever I want and let me tattoo you myself, you can pay me in dinner. Deal?"

The smile Naomi gives him has him feeling like he's on fire in the best way possible, and he can't help but smile back.

"Deal."

…

The first time Nicholas tattoos Naomi, they almost kiss.

It takes a while for him to do it, trying to catch up on appointments he already made while also trying to work around Naomi’s schedule. In the end he doesn’t get to tattoo the girl until after nearly nine months of knowing her.

It helps, though, because it let Nicholas sit on the idea and brainstorm the design for as long as he wanted. He didn’t expect it to take this long, but he’s glad, because he wanted it to be perfect. He needed it to be perfect for her. Not only will this be on her skin forever, but the fact Nicholas did it will be there forever, too, and the thought of her hating it made him feel sick.

She couldn't hate it. He wouldn't let that happen. 

At first, he wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't until four months into their newfound friendship that Naomi commented on his neck tattoo again, more specifically the rose part of it, saying how much she enjoyed floral tattoos that Nicholas knew what to draw for her.

It wasn't a rose, just a bunch of peonies, but they were gorgeous. It was probably one of the better floral drawings he's done, and he was proud of it, especially after showing Naomi one night when she had come over after one of Noah's gigs. Her smile was starting to become one of his favorite things in the entire world, and seeing it shine brightly on her face after showing her the finished product will be something he’ll never forget.

The tattooing process itself went really smooth; a lot smoother than Nicholas anticipated. He couldn't explain it, but he was nervous. He didn't want to fuck this up, or worse, hurt Naomi in some way. Getting a tattoo isn't the most comfortable thing, especially on the thigh where she begged him to put it, but she took it like a champ. 

Every so often he'd take a short break to let her stretch out her limbs, maybe even calm down when he noticed her getting more tense than normal. She didn't complain once, though, and Nicholas was impressed at how well she took it, but he was still worried about her. Each time, though, she'd pick her head up and look at him, giving him a bright smile. 

"I'm in good hands, Nicky. You can keep going."

Before he knows it, they're finished and Naomi is sitting herself up, having had to lay down for the last hour and a half so Nicholas could get to places easier without moving her too much. She stretches her arms with a groan and swings her legs over the edge, careful to not do anything to mess up the fresh tattoo. Nicholas has his back to her, getting her supplies ready for the aftercare.

"Holy shit." She gasps from behind and he whips around, thinking she's accidentally bumped it on something and hurt herself.

Instead, he finds Naomi still sitting on the chair, staring down at the art that's etched into her skin. Her face is in complete and utter awe, and the look she gives him has his stomach turning in such a way he can't explain, throat tightening. He swallowed it down and walked towards her, getting ready to clean it and wrap it up.

"You like it?" He asks, grabbing a clean paper towel. "This might sting a little, I'm just gonna clean it off. Tell me if it hurts." 

"Like it? Nicky, I fucking love it." She winces a bit when he starts to clean it off and he has to stop himself from frowning. "This is... it's incredible."

He blushes, head tipped down as he finishes up the cleaning before reaching for the saniderm to place over it. It's doesn't take him too long to place it over the tattoo, gently smoothing it down as he replies.

"You're only saying that because we're friends." 

What happens next shocks him.

He doesn't think he realized how close they had been, Nicholas placed in between her legs, and the second he feels her fingers press against his skin he tenses, movements coming to a halt. She doesn't say anything, instead grips his chin gently to pull his head back up to look at her. The second their eyes meet Nicholas feels like the air had just been knocked out of his lungs.

Fuck.

"Nicky, I'm saying that because it's true. This is fucking amazing." Her voice has dropped down to almost a whisper, lips curling a bit at the ends. "You're so fucking talented, dude, it blows me away sometimes."

His mouth feels dry. He’s not sure what to even say, his mind drawing a blank because what the fuck? He’s never been this close to her and he’s able to see faint freckles coloring her skin, over her nose and her cheeks. He’s quickly learning how much he fucking loves them. His eyes find hers and they stare at each other for another moment before Nicholas finally swallows away the dryness.

“Thank you, Mimi.” He manages to get out. “That… really means a lot to me.”

Her gaze drops to his lips and then back to his eyes, but she doesn’t reply. He doesn't know what changes, or what makes him want to do this, but the way she's looking at him - begging him to do something - has him leaning in.

Her breath hitches the second their foreheads touch, and his chest swells with excitement at that, nose nudging against hers. She rests a hand against the back of his neck, fingers immediately tangling in the hair that's fallen there. Her other hand rests against his arm, gripping it gently. If he just leans in one more inch their lips would be touching, and he would be kissing her. The thought makes him shiver, but the next thought makes him pause. 

Noah.

"Nicky..." She breathes out and it almost does it for him. Almost.

"What about Noah?" He blurts out while pulling away, hands still against her hips. His stomach drops when he sees her face fall, lips pursed out into a pout. 

She doesn't respond, not at first, and it almost seems like she’s in a daze. His hands gently squeeze at her hips and he finds himself leaning back in, pressing his forehead against hers. This seems to bring her back to reality, but she doesn’t move away, sighing softly as her fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck. He shivers again.

“Right…” She hums, eyes falling shut. “What about him?”

“Well, because he and I… and you and him… you know.” He doesn’t know how to say it, how to say that he knows how Noah feels about her, and he assumes she feels about Noah, so he shrugs instead.

She pulls back from him, face scrunched in confusion before it drops into realization, mouth forming an O. Her hands drop from him and he takes a step back, missing the way her touch felt against his skin. It’s awkward, he can tell, and he rubs at the back of his neck as she hops off the tattoo chair.

“I’m sorry.” She murmurs while reaching for her bag. Nicholas can see that her cheeks are painted crimson. “I shouldn’t have-“

“Don’t. It’s okay.” He tries to give her a smile, but it falls short. His shoulders sag. “I shouldn’t have either.”

She nods, pressing her lips together and fingers gripping the strap of her bag.

“We can just forget about it?” He continues.

Naomi chews on her bottom lip and finally meets his eyes. He frowns. This is not how he was planning on this going, and something in him wishes he hadn’t said anything and just kissed her. He can tell she's freaking out. The look on her face is evident enough and he reaches out to place both hands against her shoulders.

"Mimi." She looks up at him, eyes wide and full of fear. Usually, she's the one trying to calm someone down, so Nicholas being the one to do it for her is... different. "Breathe."

And she does. He watches her chest rise and fall with each breath she takes while he rubs his thumbs against her shoulders, trying to smooth out the tension. It takes a moment, but her face finally relaxes, and her shoulders drop.

"I just..." She takes another deep breath. "I just really care about you, and Noah too, and I don't want to fuck this up." 

"But you won’t. You didn’t." Nicholas presses, squeezing her shoulders gently. "What did I say? Let's just forget it. Act like it didn't happen."

Naomi pauses. "Ignoring it isn't healthy."

"You and that damn therapy talk." She smiles weakly. "Listen... something almost happened, but in the end, nothing did. We can talk about it all you want but I'm more than okay with just going on like before. I..." He swallows, fingers squeezing her shoulders again. "I care about you a lot, Naomi. I also care about Noah a lot. I don't want something like this to come between us. You two are the best things I've got going on for me right now and I'd like to keep it that way for a long, long time."

He keeps eye contact with her, hoping to get across that he was being serious. His heart pounded beneath his chest as she stared at him for a second longer before her lips curled at the end, a slight flush forming on her cheeks.

"Okay." She breathes out, giving him a nod. "Okay, we can just... act like nothing happened."

"Okay. Cool." For some reason his chest clenches, but he brushes it off and gives her a smile. "Let me just clean up and we can head out, alright?"

"Yeah, of course." She mumbles as she finally gets up off the chair, stretching her limbs again. 

Nicholas tidies up his little corner in the shop, preparing things for tomorrow while also cleaning up from tonight's session. He hears Naomi yawn from behind him as she gathers her things and he glances at the clock, eyes widening at just how late it really was. He knows she promised to get him dinner after, as a part of their deal from many months ago, but he knows that after a few hours in that chair she's probably ready to crash. 

He grabs his things and stuffs what he can into his pockets, turning around to find Naomi leaning against the wall beside him, a tired smile settling on her lips. 

"You sure you're up for dinner tonight?" His lips pull into a frown as he glances over her and she looks like she's a second away from falling asleep.

"Duh. I promised I would."

His frown deepens. "Dude, you look like you're about to fall over."

"Shut up, I feel fine!" Nicholas narrows his eyes at her and she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. "Okay, maybe I am a little tired but who cares? I promised, so we're going."

He ushers her towards the door, turning off the lights as they move about the shop. 

"I care." He grumbles as he's locking the door behind him. He eyes the parking lot, completely vacant besides their two cars before focusing back on her, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Why don't we just take a rain check? Buy me dinner another night when your thigh hasn't been blasted for the last 4 hours?" He doesn't miss the blush coating her cheeks. "Also, I doubt anything is open besides that Chinese spot down the road."

She pauses before letting out a sigh. "I hate that you're right. I doubt I'd be able to make it without falling asleep." 

"Mimi, you know I'm always right."

"Don't push it, Ruffilo."

He laughs and by instinct he places his hand against the small of her back, leading her towards her car. He tries to ignore the way it feels to have her under his touch again, and he definitely ignores the glance she gives him, eyes slightly blown. They eventually come to an agreement to meet up Saturday after he gets off and then decide to drive together to Noah's gig, meeting up with the younger boy.

On his way home Nicholas is silent, mind going crazy as his thoughts began to swirl. He wasn't lying when he said he was okay with acting like nothing happened because he was, it was just that... maybe he would've been okay with something actually happening. He always chalked up his feelings for Naomi to just being his attraction to her, but he's starting to think it's more than that. He knows it’s more than that.

He's so lost in thought he barely even remembers unlocking the door to his apartment. There's a light still on and he finds that the television is still on too and his face scrunches in confusion until he sees Noah curled up on the couch, blanket wrapped around his body. He looks small, which is something no one ever says whenever it comes to Noah, and Nicholas can't help but smile. 

He takes his shoes off by the door and quietly makes his way through the apartment, turning the light off as he goes towards the couch. He always hates waking Noah up when he comes home late, but he knows he'd probably be a lot more comfortable in his own bed. He kneels in front of the couch and another smile pulls at his lips. Noah's out, lips parted as steady puffs of air leave him. He looks peaceful.

Something in Nicholas' chest tightens.

"Noah." He says softly, reaching forward to brush a few strands of hair that's fallen over his face and smooths them back. The boy squirms, face scrunching in his sleep and Nicholas thinks he's about to wake up. Instead, he turns on his side, back now facing Nicholas. He laughs. "Noah, come on, man. Don't you wanna sleep in a real bed?"

Noah grumbles something in response, sleep slurring his words, and Nicholas rolls his eyes affectionately. They go through this a few times a week, Nicholas coming home to Noah passed out on the couch and him trying to wake the other up. It's almost routine at this point. It takes him a few more tries before Noah is turning back over to face him, eyes squinted and bleary with sleep.

The second their eyes meet Nicholas feels like he's been slammed in the chest multiple times, the air getting stuck in his lungs. It's a different feeling, something he's never felt before, but it hit him like a ton of fucking bricks at his sudden realization. 

He loved coming home to Noah and finding him on their shitty little couch they had bought for $100. He loved spending five minutes or so trying to wake him up whenever he got home, playing with his hair or poking at his chest until he did so. He also loved their shitty apartment with the broken heater and leaky faucet because it was home. He liked doing this with Noah - life - and he's starting to realize that maybe he likes it in a more than a friend way.

Almost like someone else.

Naomi. He forgot he had almost kissed Naomi tonight. Had her in his reach, in his arms, and almost kissed her when he knew how Noah felt about her. Even if he's never said anything about it, Nicholas can't mistake the looks Noah gives her when he thinks no one's watching. It makes him sick to think that they might want her in the same way, and he and Naomi might want Noah in the same way. Not with jealousy, no, he could never be jealous of them, that's impossible; but this was something more like fear.

The fear of hurting Noah and Naomi in any way makes him want to rip his skin off and scream into the never-ending void. He could never do that. 

"Come on, let's get up. You'll hate yourself in the morning if you lay here any longer." He gets out roughly. Noah groans as he sits up, bones cracking as he stretches his limbs out.

They're both quiet as Nicholas stands and looks for the remote while Noah is getting up off the couch, wrapping his blanket back around his body and shuffling towards his room. He throws out a quiet "goodnight, Nicky" and all Nicholas can reply is "night", throat tightening again. His fingers grip the remote as Noah's door shuts behind him and he lets out a breath he had been unknowingly holding. 

He gets ready for bed quickly after that, silently ripping his clothes off once he's in the comfort of his own room because everything feels like it’s too tight. His shirt feels like it's suffocating him and if he doesn't get it off in the next 2 seconds, he'll die. Not really, but he's feeling dramatic. He crawls into bed and flops onto his back, chest heavy.

Naomi. Noah. Noah. Naomi. NaomiNoahNaomiNoah. 

It's a never-ending chant in his mind, like they're the only two things in this world that matters. Which is kind of true, because they are the two most important people in Nicholas' life. He feels like he's having an epiphany, finally realizing something that's been staring him right in the face this entire fucking time, but it's not a good feeling. Not even in the slightest.

How does one manage to not only fall for one, but two, of their closest friends? Is it even possible to want two separate people and love them in the exact same way?

The short answer is yes, it's very fucking possible, and it's absolutely terrifying. Just ask Nicholas. 

[sorrowsofsilence]

the bet • bad omens

pairing: all bad omens members x fem!reader

words: 8.4K • read part two here

warnings: 18+, fwb and lust, smut with each member (you are the bet lol)(penetration pls wrap it b4 u tap it, male!receiving, photos taken, fem!receiving, swearing, nicknames: pretty girl, princess, good girl, baby girl), jealousy, mentions of alcohol/smoking/edibles)

summary: each of them want you- so they decide to make a bet.

note: this is purely self indulgent and filthy lmao, i hope you enjoy.

PS. THIS IS A FANFIC ABOUT REAL PEOPLE IN FICTIONAL SCENARIOS. I AM NOT IMPLYING THIS IS HOW THESE PEOPLE ARE IRL OR THAT THIS SITUATION WOULD HAPPEN. IT IS FOR FANFIC PURPOSES ONLY!

Folio finished licking the wrapper, rolling the buds to form a joint and twisting the end, smiling down at his handy work. Noah sat across from him on the couch, while Jolly opened a beer on the left, placing it on the coffee table.

Ruffilo sat next to Noah, the two sharing a bag of chips and rambling about their prior super smash bros session.

“I always win on little Mac,” Noah mumbled, still salty that Nicholas kicked his ass as Ganondorf.

“Do you?” Ruffilo laughed, shovelling a few chips in his mouth, “I think it’s time to leave little Mac behind.”

Noah sent him a glare in response, before eyeing Folio.

Nick lit the joint, taking a slow drag before blowing the smoke out his nose and leaning across the table to hand it to Noah.

It’s been a while since they got to enjoy each other’s company like this. With five consecutive days off until their next show, and only one day of travel between- this was the longest time to relax that they’ve had this whole tour.

Noah sucked the smoke into his lungs, before passing it to Nicholas, “Man, I’m so glad we finally have some time to catch up on sleep.”

All of them nodded their heads in agreement, sinking into their seats.

Jolly now held the joint between his fingers, rolling it between them, “I don’t think I’ve caught up… ever.”

Nick agreed, scrolling on his phone and hooking up to the room’s speaker, “I’d like to get out and enjoy the scenery too. Go for a walk like a normal human or some shit.”

Noah hummed in agreement, sitting up to take a sip of his water. The room became hazy in no time, the smell of weed pungent and stagnant within the small room; and the conversation jumped from topic to topic.

Eventually, each of them became quiet, only the music ringing between the walls anticipating Nicholas’ question.

“Where’s Y/N? Did she go to bed?”

Noah’s eyes flicked over to Folio, analyzing his expression before darting to Jolly, who stared at the can on the table.

Ruffilo’s gaze danced between the boys as they sat quietly until Jolly spoke.

“Nah. She goes to bed late. Probably busy doing something with Matt.”

His name echoed between each of the members, ringing in their ears with resentment. They loved Matt, but the amount of time he got to spend with the one girl that drove them all mad, made them question his motives.

Folio took a quick puff, passing it over the table to Nicholas, “You think they’ve hooked up?”

Jolly took a long sip of his beer, face scrunching subtly.

Noah shrugged, eyes rolling in annoyance at the thought.

“What,” Nick laughed, gaze narrowing in hinted understanding with his friend, “jealous?”

Noah coughed from the weed, and accusation, waving his hand in front of his face to help dissipate the everbuilding smoke; but the word hung heavy in the enclosed space.

Noah, Folio, and Ruffilo all tried to hide their envious glances towards the eldest member, who chugged the remainder of his drink before twisting the empty can in his fingers.

Anything to distract himself from the tension.

To say you affected the boys was an understatement. They were completely enamoured by you, obsessed with every smile, every laugh, every lingering touch.

You had joined their crew a year ago, partnering with Matt on sound mixing during their live sets. You were a phenomenal addition to their ever-growing team and a much-needed asset. However, your work ethic and talent weren’t the only things that had them engrossed.

Every time you sat next to one of them, or even looked in their direction- each was ready to fold, not afraid to fall onto their knees and succumb to your every desire. If only you asked them to.

And the one lucky bastard who got a sweet taste of your alluring, lascivious touch one night three months ago? The one who remained silent at Folio’s burdensome allegation?

Jolly kept his eyes on the can, playing with the metal tab as he fought the smile that twitched on his lips.

“Fucking lucky asshole,” Folio whined, throwing a pillow in annoyance at the Swede.

Jolly snickered, throwing it back at the drummer who barely dodged it with brows furrowed bitterly.

“It was one time,” Jolly rolled his head back, “and it’s not like we had sex.”

Noah grabbed the joint from Ruffilo, closing his eyes as he inhaled, “Yeah,” he exhaled, “but you got, and I quote, ‘the best fucking head I’ve ever had, hands down,’ end quote.”

Jolly didn’t even hide the wide smile that grew on his lips, earning another pillow being thrown at him, this time from Noah.

God, what the singer would give to have your lips wrapped around him. What the Nicks would do to have a peek at the secrets beneath your hoodie.

“I’d kill to have just one more night with her,” Jolly said.

“At least you had one,” Noah glared. He was jealous. They all were.

It was silent momentarily, before Folio sighed, speaking for the room, “Fuck, what I’d do to get a piece of that ass.”

Noah and Jolly nodded along.

“Same,” Noah ran a hand along his face, “That pretty little mouth of hers? Shit.”

Although Ruffilo agreed with everything they said, he needed to bud in, “Don’t like, objectify her.”

Noah immediately scoffed, turning his head to face his best friend, “Don’t act like you don’t think about what it would feel like getting your dick sucked by her.”

Nicholas shrugged, reaching into the chip bag, “I mean yeah, Y/N’s hot-” He wanted to continue to discuss her wonderful personality- but Noah interjected.

“See? Point proved,” He said, passing the blunt to Jolly.

“She’s got all of us dick whipped bro,” Nick shook his head, taking a swig of his beer, “and she’s simply just existing.”

Jolly laughed, sitting up in his chair, “I bet she’d suck my dick again. At least once more.”

Nicholas raised a brow, hiding his jealousy with a handful of chips.

“Yea?” Noah leaned onto his knees, elbows perched on either one, “I bet she’d let me rail her.”

The slanted smile that grew upon Jolly’s face said it all as Nick took the last puff of the blunt, before tossing it into the ashtray, “Hey- I bet I could do both.”

The three of them shared a glance, then turned to Ruffilo.

“I bet all that and more,” He said, head resting on his palm.

“How does one win then?” Noah began, raising a brow.

Jolly crossed his arms over his chest in contemplation, “first to do anything sexual wins.”

Noah shook his head, “No because you automatically have a one-up. First to get two consecutive nights with her wins.”

“Winner gets what exactly?” Folio asked, staring between the boys.

Nicholas sat back on the couch, shrugging his shoulders at his suggestion, “Dibs?”

A stare-down commenced before Jolly leaned forward to place his hand above the coffee table. Nick joined, his hand on Jolly’s before Noah and Nicholas followed, stacking their hands and signing away their pride.

“Ok, Bet.” Folio’s smirk lit up his face.

“Bet.”

=

You were completely oblivious to the deal behind the door as you knocked on the wood with your foot, arms full of various snacks. Matt stood next to you, carrying boxes of drinks as you waited for the door to open. Their talking quieted as the knob turned, the drummer nervously coughing. The smell of weed slapped you in the face as the dank haze that flowed out filled your lungs.

Folio’s eyes remained fixated as he held the door, a faint blush tinting his cheeks as you nodded gratefully at him, walking past and into the room. The immediate silence from the members as you headed to the counter made your chest tighten, nerves running to the ends of your fingertips.

You weren’t oblivious to the stares as each of the boys watched you place the items on the faux marble, their gazes lingering longer than usual. There was an odd energy in the room you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but when you turned back around each of them quickly distracted themselves with their drinks or snacks.

Flashing them a small smile you hid your overthinking thoughts. Maybe they didn’t want you here.

With a nervous breath, you swallowed that thought, reaching for the can Matt held out to you.

“Sorry that we took so long. We did a quick rehearsal for Friday, then ran to the store.”

Noah glanced at you quickly before averting his eyes, Nicholas doing the same. Folio sat back down on the couch, Matt plopping next to him with a grunt.

The room felt heavy as they continued to bounce silent words between each other, the challenge of the bet, unknown to you, sinking in their minds.

Matt took a sip of his drink, scanning each of his friends and their demeanour, “The fuck is wrong with y’all?” he said, scoffing with a raised brow, “Why are you acting like a bunch of fucking weirdos.”

Nicholas coughed, taking a swig of his drink before handing the bag of chips to Noah, who immediately shovelled a handful into his mouth as if avoiding the question.

“We were just having a deep conversation before, is all,” Jolly clicked his tongue, staring at you longingly before turning his attention to Matt, “How did the rehearsal go?”

Standing there awkwardly for a moment you swung your legs, a way to distract yourself, before looking at the taken seats. Tuning out Matt’s rambling you didn’t know where to sit, until you noticed the arm of the chair Jolly sat on.

You were decently close to Jolly- considering his cock was shoved down your throat during that one drunk escapade- but all things considered, you knew he wouldn’t mind if you sat next to him there.

As soon as you walked across the room you felt each of their gazes burning into you, watching every move you made. Jolly's brows raised in surprise as you approached him, and you hummed nervously before taking a seat on the hard arm of the chair.

Giving them all a curt smile you took another sip, staring at the carpeted ground.

“Surely that can’t be comfortable love.”

Jolly’s accent was thick, snapping you away from your thoughts.

“Here,” he tugged your wrist, motioning for you to sit on his lap, “Trust me I don’t mind.”

“Oh-” was all you could say, before allowing his hands to grab your hips, pulling you down onto him.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying not to wiggle too much above the guitarist, but needing to get comfortable. His fingers still gripped your hips, moving with your shifting.

Nick’s eye-roll and Noah’s snarl went unnoticed, but you caught a glimpse of Nicholas’ clenched fist, his knuckles tightening momentarily.

“Are you sure?” You mumbled, shaking your head, “I’m okay on the arm, or even the floor-”

Jolly laughed, the melodic sound leaving the hairs on your arm to stand. His enigmatic personality always left you nervous, “I am more than sure.”

Matt picked up the conversation again, the boys finally joining at a more normal pace; but your mind felt foggy as one of Jolly’s hands crept from your waist, down to the top of your thigh.

He stilled his movements for a few minutes, your chest tightening.

“Maybe we can go to an aquarium, or-” The thought was cut short, breath caught in your throat once you felt Jolly’s inked fingers rubbing up and down your skin, slowly reaching to squeeze the inside of your thigh.

With your gaze kept forward you took another sip, “-a movie?”

Matt’s eyes wandered to Jolly’s hand, squinting in confusion momentarily before standing up to grab one of the snacks you picked from the counter.

“I’m down for whatever,” the blonde said, tossing you a bag of candy.

Smiling at him gratefully, you opened the bag and took a piece, using it to distract you.

“I like the sound of a movie,” Noah said, staring at Folio as he spoke. He tried to hide the ever-growing jealousy in his chest, “Haven’t been to one with people in forever.”

“Why is it you like going alone again?” Folio asked, eyes locked on Noah, shielding his vision from Jolly.

Noah laughed, “No handjobs, just me and my vitamin water.”

You tried listening to their conversations but felt the swede shift beneath you, slowly guiding your hips in a circular motion.

Jolly’s growing arousal pushed against you from beneath, leaving your stomach swirling at his advancement. You crossed your legs in an attempt to squeeze your desire, but he knew. He knew the effect he had.

The way his fingers kept kneading at your thighs left your heart pounding.

As the boys began dragging on about Elden ring, Jolly adjusted to whisper in your ear, “You forgot something in your room, right?”

Heat rose to your cheeks, goosebumps adorning your skin at your growing lust. All you could do was nod before standing up, taking another quick sip and tossing the can into the bin.

The conversation stopped as you walked toward the door, Jolly standing up from the chair.

“Where are you going?” Nicholas asked you, biting his lip to distract himself from the envy that grew in his chest. They all knew.

“I just- forgot something in my room.”

Once you left all eyes turned to Jolly, the smug smile on his face radiant in satisfaction.

Folio stood up, pointing an accusative finger, “You just- I- that’s cheating.”

Jolly grabbed the hair tie off his wrist, pulling his dark strands into a quick bun as he walked toward the door.

Turning to face his competitors, his best friends, he smiled, “Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.”

=

Jolly’s mouth moved with yours as he held you on top of the desk in your room. You didn’t think you’d be in this position with him again, but you didn’t mind.

“Do you think about that night often?” He asked, hands holding your hips in place.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about your previous night with him, but you always tried to push the thoughts away. You didn’t think anything would happen again, and you knew deep down you couldn’t continue anything with him.

You liked him, sure, but weren’t committed to the idea of a relationship.

One more night wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Sometimes,” You whispered, hands clasped around the back of his neck, “do you?”

Pulling you off the desk he held you close to him, lips devouring yours for a second longer, “More than I probably should.”

His admission made your knees weak. You didn’t care if they were only words of infatuation, you loved the effect you had on him.

Taking your hand you tugged on his belt, letting your hand rub along his covered erection. Jolly’s immediate whimper made you smile against his lips.

Allowing yourself to kneel before him you pulled the leather apart, undoing the zipper.

He was sensitive to every touch, eyes never leaving you, absorbing every movement you made. Knowing this you couldn’t help but tease him, leaning in to graze your teeth over himself in his underwear.

Looking up at the swede through your lashes he watched, lips parted in need as you pressed your tongue against the tip, still using the cotton as a barrier.

Jolly’s fingers ran through the side of your hair, tangling in the strands as you took a finger, gliding it between the hem of his boxers. He shook his head, giving you an exasperated smile. Finally tugging down the fabric you ran your tongue along the length, swiping along the head before trailing back down.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” He breathed, the teasing smile causing him to lick his lips. You were titillating to him.

“Why not give you something more to think about?” You shrugged, taking your hand to hold him, before wrapping your mouth around him. The immediate relief on Jolly’s face made you chuckle along his cock, the taste of his pre-cum salty against your tongue.

Swirling around the tip you swallowed him, taking everything he offered as best you could before pulling away, allowing the string of saliva to follow.

You twisted your hand around, using your saliva to assist your movements before taking him into your mouth again, sucking and pressing your tongue along the base.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his other hand replacing yours on his cock, holding it up to your mouth.

You clasped your hands behind your back, only using your mouth as you bobbed along, being sure to keep your eyes on him.

He watched you with furrowed brows, the crease in his forehead evidence of his growing orgasm. His hips slowly rutted into your mouth, matching your movements in a synchronized wave.

“Shit princess, you’re so fucking hot.”

His encouraging words made your face warm, cock buried in your throat as you gagged along him.

“let me take a picture of you. A memoir if I may?”

You pulled off of him, using your hand momentarily as you thought, “Only if you keep it to yourself.”

Jolly smiled, reaching for his phone on the desk, holding it above you, “Of course.”

Using your hand you stroked him as you sucked, until Jolly spoke.

“Just your mouth,” He whispered, “That’s it.”

You held your hands behind your back once again, being sure to look up into the camera.

Jolly continued with praises until you felt him stiffen, eyes fighting for closure.

A deep groan crawled from him as he held you along his cock, release hitting the back of your throat. Closing your eyes you swallowed all of him, sticking out your tongue

“That’s a good girl,” He ran his fingers along your scalp.

Standing up you helped him with his pants, pulling them back over his waist and putting his belt back together. Jolly leaned into your body, holding your jaw as he kissed you once again.

“Let me take care of you,” He said between kisses, and you pulled away smiling.

Looking at the clock on the nightstand it was well past 2 am, and you needed some sleep before travelling tomorrow.

“I love sucking you off, so don’t worry about it,” You said slowly, leaning in to give him a quick kiss, “but I need sleep. Rain check?”

Jolly’s eyes flashed with something you missed, fighting back a cocky grin, “of course. you know where to find me.”

Once the guitarist made it back to his hotel room, the boys were still sitting in their spots, glaring daggers towards him.

“One down. One more to go,” Jolly said, licking his bottom lip in accomplishment as he thrust into the air, showing off.

“Dick,” Noah mumbled, to which Matt stared at his friends, confused once again.

“I’m missing something,” The blonde shook his head.

=

After hours of travelling, you were exhausted, the crew pulling up to the next hotel. Things were going smoothly until checking in at reception.

“What do you mean we’re short a room?” Matt said to the lady, clearly confused, “We’ve had this booked for weeks.”

“I’m sorry but you only had three rooms in the original booking.” The woman was sympathetic, hands folded in front of her, “There aren’t any more available but we can put a cot in one of the rooms.”

The one thing you respected about the boys was how they always gave you a room to yourself; but it would be ok to share for a night, wouldn’t it?

The boys looked at each other, before shrugging.

“I guess that’s fine,” Matt said.

Looking at them you scratched your arm nervously, “I can share my room, I don’t mind.”

“With who?” Folio asked quickly, each of them turning to watch you intensely.

You almost laughed at how weird they were being, before shaking your head, “Uh I don’t care.”

Quickly glancing at Jolly, you knew it would be a bad idea if you two were together.

So you looked at the brunette next to him, his thick brows raising in surprise once he met your eyes.

Nicholas stared at you, blinking rapidly before calming his composure. He wanted to share a room with you so bad. But he knew the others would too. Would you pick him?

When his name fell off your lips he almost yelled, ready to pump a fist into his chest then and there.

“Uh, Ruffilo? Care to share?”

The sweet boy was always one of your favourites, even if you tried to avoid bias between them. He’d be a harmless partner, right?

The way his face flushed a deep maroon made you smile nervously, afraid you put him on the spot.

“Y-yeah, that’s fine with me.” He peered at Noah, who stared at the ground, “That ok with you Noah?”

“Sure man,” Noah’s curt grin made your stomach swirl as his gaze flicked at you, unspoken words lingering in his gaze.

Grabbing a keycard you nodded at Nicholas, who trailed behind you.

You didn’t see how he glanced back at his friends, holding his fingers up in an ‘L’ on his forehead.

Heading various scoffs behind you, you turned to raise a brow, “What is with you guys lately?”

They all shook their heads as everyone entered the elevator, leaving you to eye Matt who just shrugged, looking as confused as you.

“Tired,” Noah said, his eyes lingering on your figure for a moment too long.

“Hungry,” Folio said, licking his lips as he peeled his eyes away.

Jolly didn’t even glance at you, his face neutral- an attempt to hide his disappointment you chose Ruffilo over him.

He was this close to winning the bet.

Once you got to the room you held the card against the sensor, waiting for the door to click. Opening it, you and Nicholas stood in the doorway, your chest tightening as you entered.

“I don’t mind joining them on a cot-” Ruffilo began, but you gave him a shrug.

There was only one bed, meaning the two of you would be sharing.

“It’s alright with me if it’s alright with you.”

Nicholas only smiled, his nervous wading back as he placed his suitcase into the room.

“I guess we should get ready to go to dinner?”

=

Getting back to the room was a blessing and a curse. You were tired, but also nervous as Nicholas trailed behind you.

As you two got ready for bed you tried to avert your eyes while Ruffilo unbuttoned his shirt in the corner, the brunette glancing at you every so often.

Coughing shyly, you averted your eyes as you grabbed your change of clothes, sliding into the washroom to change.

It felt almost scandalous to be wearing such small shorts and a thin tank top, but you pushed that away and reminded yourself that it was just one night. It would be fine.

Ruffilo sucked in a breath when you walked out, and you tried to hide your staring as he stood there shirtless and in his shorts. Your eyes darted back to his chest, following the lines of his tattoos.

“I hope it’s ok I don’t wear a shirt, I run warm,” He said restlessly as he sat on the edge of the bed. His leg bounced up and down and you suddenly felt bad you asked him to stay here. Maybe he was more uncomfortable with this than you had thought.

“Nicky you don’t have to share with me-”

“No!” He stood up, hands out in reassurance. His reaction made you chuckle as his face warmed again, shaking his head, “I mean, no it’s okay. I- I want to stay here with you.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” You said, arms folded across your chest.

“You don’t- I-” He stood there, tucking his hair behind his ear, “I just- You make me nervous, but that’s not a you problem.”

You chuckled again, turning off the main room light, and clicking on the nightstand lamp, “I make you nervous?”

Crawling into your side of the bed, Nicholas followed, tucking himself beneath the covers on the edge of his side, afraid to be any closer to you.

“Why do I make you nervous?” You asked, pulling down the hotel room pillows, and lying on your side to face him.

The bass player followed your movements, facing you as he got comfortable. He closed his eyes, contemplating his words before speaking his confession.

“You’re mesmerizing, Y/N. Everything about you makes my heart pound.” He said softly, his words sinking deep within your skin.

All you could do was stare at him, his grey eyes flickering between your own, waiting for any response.

“Really?” Was all you could say, your stomach swirling with butterflies as you bit back a smile.

Nicholas nodded, hands beneath his head as he watched you with a shy grin.

Your heart began to race as you hid your face in the pillow.

The evening was spent sharing random stories and laughing at each other’s jokes. You couldn’t stop smiling as you and Nicholas turned off your lamps, rolling to face away from each other and letting sleep take over.

However, your mind raced with a chest warm with admiration, before finally falling into a deep slumber.

Waking up you felt a set of strong arms wrapped around your waist, body pressed against your back.

Your limbs were entangled with Nicholas’ body fitting against yours; however, something else caught your attention.

Nicholas’ body was stiff as you accidentally moved your hips into him, trying to pull away slowly- but his grip on your torso tightened, holding you against him.

His cock pressed into you, causing your heart to pound.

God, this would be so wrong, wouldn’t it?

Ruffilo’s hands gripped your hips as he rolled into you slowly, breath brushing across your neck.

Closing your eyes you smiled, contemplating whether to do this or not; but what’s the harm in a quick morning fuck?

You pushed back against him, rutting back and forth along him teasingly. The groan that left Nicholas’ chest caused your body to warm, tingling from the excitement as he squeezed the skin beneath your tank top.

“I want you so bad Y/N,” He whispered against your ear, lips grazing down the lobe, toward your neck.

“Then take me,” you breathed, taking your hand and holding his thigh, pulling him closer toward you.

Ruffilo’s lips attached to your neck, teeth biting along the delicate skin. You allowed him to suck, marking you.

Nicholas hooked a finger in your shorts, pulling them down your legs swiftly as he still spooned you. Taking his inked fingers he dipped them between your thighs from behind, running them thoroughly along your folds.

His touch made you squirm, buzzing from the thrill of him.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he said quietly, a mix of awe and lust as he used your arousal to lubricate his erection.

“I woke up with your cock pressed against me, what do you expect?” You laughed as he lined up to your entrance, pushing just the tip inside.

You cursed as the brunette held your hips once again, nails digging into the skin as he sunk further into you, right to the hilt.

Allowing your body to adjust you moaned at the feeling of Nicholas taking over your body. His thrusts were quick as he held your hips, fucking you from behind as you two lay on the bed.

“Oh my god,” he groaned, his infatuation with your pussy leaving you a smiling mess as he continuously pounded into you, hands worshiping your skin, “you feel so fucking good.”

The lewd sounds that left the both of you filled the room, and once Nicholas reached between your thighs, fingers pressing into your core with a circular motion, you almost screamed at his touch.

You sighed, fingers gripping the white sheets in desire as he thrust deeper.

“I’m not going to last long,” He breathed, leaning in to bite your shoulder as he held you close. His admission pushed you over the edge, his fingers pressing into you, cock buried deep.

With the scream of his name, you clenched around his body. Nicholas pulled out, stoking himself quickly as his release coated your ass, the warmth making you jolt.

The two of you lay there, chests heaving. Nicholas watched you in awe as you turned, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and heading into the bathroom to shower.

Your mind spun as your body came down from the orgasm, as Nicholas sat up in bed, high-fiving himself.

One he was just happy to even get a taste of your body, but two, he was officially on par with Jolly.

=

“Point for this guy.” As he approached the boys at breakfast, Ruffilo pointed his thumbs toward himself proudly.

You were busy in the hotel room packing a backpack for the aquarium, and Nicholas knew he had to gloat before you overhead.

“No fucking way,” Folio groaned, while Noah ran a hand down his face.

Nick and Noah felt defeated, both still needing at least one encounter to be even close to winning this bet.

Jolly folded his arms over his chest, sinking into the wooden chair at the breakfast table, “You’re just lucky she picked you to share the room. I would’ve already been calling dibs by now if it wasn’t for that.”

“Sure,” Ruffilo rolled his eyes, “but she picked me!” With a radiant smile, he dug into his breakfast, the eggs tasting even better than normal.

You and Matt walked into the room, stopping at the table. Nicholas met your eyes momentarily, both of you flushing as you recalled this morning’s events.

“To the aquarium?” Matt asked, snapping you out of the trance, and Ruffilo shovelled down the rest of his food.

Folio ran a hand through his hair. It was now or never, and he didn’t want to lose.

Standing up he adjusted his shirt before approaching you, wrapping a hand around your wrist and leading the two of you out of the restaurant.

“Where are we-” you began as the drummer tugged you behind him, pressing a finger up to his lips to shush you.

His hand was warm as it held you taught against his side, pulling you out one of the back doors.

“Nick, where are we going?” You asked but moulded into his touch, allowing him to pull you freely.

He didn’t say anything as you two made it outside before pulling out a small bag. Two square gummies sat inside the plastic as Folio tauntingly held it up.

“Let’s get high,” He said, letting go of your arm and opening the bag, holding the gummy out to you.

“What?” You laughed, raising a brow.

“Trust me. It’s so fucking fun at aquariums.”

Chewing on your cheek you smiled, “Alright Folio. Bet.”

His eyes clung to yours for a second too long at the word that left your lips.

The two of you took the edibles and you savoured the taste of the berry flavour.

“And now what?” You asked.

Folio shoved the bag back into his pocket, the devilish smirk on his lips eating you alive, “Now we wait.”

=

The two of you were non-stop giggling in the car towards the end of the drive, as Nick reached for your hand, pulling you out of the vehicle.

It felt like a little secret between the two of you, yet everyone in the car glared towards the youngest member.

It wasn't very busy at the aquarium, with only a few people strolling around the different enclosures. You and Folio were glued to each other’s sides, laughing at every single thing until it started driving the rest of the boys crazy.

“What is wrong with you?” Matt asked, pulling you aside. His annoyance mixed with concern made you smile, admiring his care for you.

You laughed, unable to take him seriously as you placed a hand on his shoulder, “Me and Folio took an edible,” the snort that came from your lips made you giggle even harder, Nick covering his mouth in the background, “Sorry Matty, I can’t stop laughing.”

“Jesus,” Matt laughed, shaking his head in amusement, “Why am I not surprised?”

The blonde just smiled down at you warmly, and you pulled away from his interrogation as Folio dragged you toward a tank of angel fish.

“Oh my god, look,” you said excitedly, holding Nick against you as you pressed your face against the tank.

“It’s more fun watching them swim around this way, isn’t it?” Folio chuckled, and you nodded in agreement.

The two of you were attached at the hip, running ahead of everybody and taking in everything you could see.

You were too absorbed with Nick and the Fish to notice the annoyed grumbling that came from Nicholas, Noah, and Jolly

Once you got to the otters, there was a chance to walk outside.

You and Nick followed the wooden pathway to the outside enclosure, taking a seat on a bench.

The peak of the high felt like it was wearing off, and you felt yourself getting a little sleepy.

Resting your head on Folio’s shoulder you closed your eyes, still smiling as the sun beamed against your skin.

“This has been so fun, Nick,” you whispered.

Folio reached for your hand, holding it between his as he placed his head on top of yours, “it really has been.”

Pulling away you sat up, staring at the otters jumping and swimming in the water, until you felt a set of fingers gently reach under your chin.

Following Nick’s direction, he turned you to face him, leaning in slowly.

His heart was pounding so fast that he almost felt scared. What if he didn’t want this to be part of some bet? What if he wanted this to be real?

The closer he got to your lips, the more nervous he felt. This was real for him.

You didn't pull away from him, allowing the drummer to press his mouth against yours. The kiss was delicate and soft, leaving your limbs tingling- a mixture of your inebriation and excitement.

It felt wrong to be kissing him- especially after everything that happened with Jolly and Nicholas- but you couldn’t stop.

His lips were so soft, his kiss growing hungrier as he became filled with need. He reached his hand up to cup your cheek, and you pulled away from him, face warm as your fingers touched your lips.

“Not in public,” you said, giggling as he almost pouted.

“There’s no one out here at least,” Folio whispered, leaning in teasingly, nose touching yours.

Biting your bottom lip you laughed, pressing your forehead against his as you closed your eyes, inhaling the fresh air.

“Ok, then where?” you met his ochre eyes, the deep brown almost enchanting as he watched you longingly.

Folio immediately stood up, eagerly holding onto your hand.

Walking together he pulled you inside, only for you to be stopped by Noah and Matt.

“Whatcha doing?” Noah asked, eyes darting between the two of you. You stared at him, swallowing nervously. You knew that he knew, and it made your ears turn hot.

“Snack,” Folio said, giving them a thumbs up.

“Oh, can we join?” Matt asked, and Noah nodded quickly.

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea,” Noah said, watching you now.

“Uh,” you began, but Nick tugged on your wrist, pulling you away from them.

“Nope! Bye!” Folio said, sticking out his tongue at Noah, dragging you with him.

You began giggling once again, the high coming in waves. Nick looked around the place until he saw a single bathroom.

Dragging you inside he locked the door behind the two of you, turning to pin you against the frame.

Your laughter stopped as he loomed over you, your heart matching his pace as he kissed you again, tongue pressing against your bottom lip.

With a hand on your chin and a hand on your hip, he held you there, his hips holding you to the door.

You moaned into his mouth, allowing your fingers to trail up into his hair, running them through the gelled strands.

“You have no idea what you to do me, do you?” Nick breathed between kisses, the hand on your hip reaching further down to grip your ass, “To all of us?”

Swallowing his words as he spoke, your chest tightened. Three boys in the last two days? Where was all this coming from?

You weren’t oblivious to their stares or their advances- but it was odd that all of a sudden it felt like a challenge for them to take you on.

And really? You didn’t mind at all.

Folio’s fingers gripped your chin harder, holding you to his mouth as his tongue pressed against yours, before pulling back.

“I won’t let you forget me.” He said, a suggesting smile radiating above you as you looked up at him.

Your body almost vibrated at his words, anticipation ringing in your ears as he led you to the counter, lifting you to sit on the edge.

All you could do was watch as your limbs tingled, and Nick pulled your jeans down your thighs, leaving you exposed in your underwear.

Folio kissed you briefly again before trailing kisses down your neck, tugging your t-shirt down to kiss your shoulder. You lifted the shirt for him, allowing his tongue to dip between the valley in your chest and down your stomach until he was kneeling before you.

Your breathing already felt erratic as you watched him smile up at you, his eyes lidded in lust as his fingers tugged your panties to the side, sinking between your folds.

Nick ran his fingers along your arousal for a moment, before sticking them into his mouth, tasting you.

“Fuck baby girl,” he moaned, positioning his hand at your entrance, “you taste so good.”

He pushed into you, curling and twisting until he found the spot that made your mouth open from pleasure. Bet and all, he wanted to make you feel good- to remember this moment despite who wins.

His attentiveness made your stomach swirl as he kissed the inside of your thigh, trailing towards your desire. Nick pressed his tongue against your clit, flicking momentarily to match the pace of his fingers, before latching his mouth around you.

You covered your mouth with your hand, afraid of the ungodly sounds that fought from your chest.

As your head fell back into the mirror you couldn’t help but rut your hips into his mouth, seconds away from an orgasm as the tension in your abdomen built.

“Ohmygodnick,” you mumbled behind your hand, brows furrowed as your eyes squeezed shut and he ate you out feverishly.

You hadn’t noticed how Nick’s other hand held his erection free from his pants, jerking himself as he devoured your body, hungry for your release and his.

You cried his name as his tongue pressed against you firmly, body shaking against his mouth as you reached your orgasm, your hand pulling his hair.

Nick was seconds behind, the sound of your muffled moans pushing him to his climax as he came all over the floor and his hand.

Pulling his mouth from your body he smiled up at you, lips wet from your arousal. He stood up, and you noticed his mess, smiling shyly at him.

“That’s so hot,” you whispered, causing him to laugh, the two of you now in a fit of giggles.

Folio helped clean you up, then himself, before holding you in a hug.

Melting into his chest you wrapped your arms around him.

“Whatever happens, just know how much I care about you alright?” He said, his words lingering.

=

Two days later the boys were sitting on the bus, almost bored. As much as they loved the days off, the anticipation of the next show always ate away at their nerves.

Jolly and Nicholas were watching YouTube videos, as Folio sat upside down, chucking a rubber ball at the wall.

Noah’s ears rang with each throw, the thunk on the wall driving him crazy.

“Can you cut it out?” Noah mumbled, glaring at Folio.

Nick stopped, raising an accusative brow, “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

Folio knew, but didn’t want to say anything- but Jolly spoke for him.

“He’s just pissed he hasn’t gotten a chance with Y/N yet. Admit it, Noah, you’re gonna lose.”

Noah held up his middle finger, causing Jolly to chuckle.

“Better make a move sooner than later. Even I think Folio’s got a better chance at winning, as annoying as it is.”

Those words made Noah’s skin crawl as Folio beamed beside him, throwing the ball against the wall once again.

Noah had noticed how you’ve been staring at Folio ever since the aquarium, and shit, everyone but him.

The singer stood up, frustration evident on his face and as the ball bounced back toward Nick’s hand, Noah reached over, pushing it across the bus.

“Hey!” Nick snapped, but no one else said anything as Noah left, slamming the bus door.

You sat with Matt outside, sharing memes as you heard the door, an angry Noah storming out.

Sharing a look with Matt you stood up, watching as the Brunette folded his arms in frustration as he paced.

“Noah?” You approached him warily, worry evident in your tone.

His eyes softened when they met yours, but he still held his own body.

He was frustrated, and for what? They all bet on this, and all agreed.

However, the jealousy was starting to get to him, and he didn’t know how much more he could take.

Standing in front of him you felt sad, he looked conflicted, and you didn’t know how to help.

“I’m fine,” Noah said sharply, inhaling quickly.

“You’re clearly not fine,” you said, reaching out to place a gentle hand on his arm. He melted into your touch, face flushing at your care.

“I just need a distraction,” he said, mostly to himself. It was true.

He wanted a distraction from you, but deep down he also wanted you to be the distraction.

You looked at the time on your phone as it was still early in the afternoon, “Want to go see a movie?”

=

There wasn’t much to offer in the theatre, considering it was a random weekday. You decided to let Noah choose the movie, considering you were here for him.

The brunette purposefully picked some bullshit boring movie that nobody would book a ticket to since it was one of the last days it would be showing.

Walking into the theatre Noah pushed you up the stairs by the small of your back, the feeling of his hand lingering even as you sat down at the back of the theatre.

Nobody else was in there, and you suddenly felt jittery that it was just the two of you.

You and Noah sat in silence as the movie began, almost afraid to speak to each other.

The movie was immediately boring, and you kept watching the way Noah nervously rubbed the tips of his thighs, his inked fingers rubbing along his sweatpants.

Eventually, the singer grew the courage to place that hand on your thigh, making you jump slightly from the contact.

Slowly his hands crept up and down your thigh, warmth radiating off of his skin- but you froze as the words came from his mouth.

“I know you fucked all my friends.”

Something about the way he said it made the hairs on your neck stand up, and he turned to look at you, the movie illuminating his features.

His eyes were dark, as they bore into you, “You saving the best for last?”

Your mouth ran dry, unable to respond as he patted his lap, holding your hand to tug you along.

Unsure why you followed, you did, and facing him you placed a leg on either side of his hips, sitting in his lap.

Noah let his hands squeeze your hips before roaming up your body, kneading against your clothes before reaching your Neck.

He lightly pulled you down to his face, mouth inches from yours. His breath was warm as he spoke.

“I bet I can make you cum three times in this theatre.”

Shivering at his words you let him take control. His behaviour and promise alone almost pushed you to the edge, and you didn’t doubt his promise for one second.

His lips brushed yours, but he didn't dare give you a taste as he dipped his fingers into your waistband, sliding them past your underwear and right along your arousal.

He only chuckled at the feeling of your soaked core, knowing that you’d fold the second he put two fingers inside of you.

Noah did just that, pressing his thumb against your clit as his inked fingers sunk into your body.

As he pushed his fingers deeper, thumb rutting in rhythmic circles, he held you up by your neck.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” Noah praised, your mouth agape from the pleasure.

Your body clenched around his fingers and in no time, you cried as he pushed you to your first orgasm.

“Fuck, maybe I can get four in if it's that easy,” he grinned, pulling his fingers away from your core and toward your mouth.

He only nodded toward you, prompting you to take his fingers into your mouth, licking your mess and gagging on them as you did so.

The brunette’s smile was radiant as he watched proudly, before pushing you onto your knees, between his legs.

You knew what he wanted, and Noah had to stop himself from cumming right then and there at the sight of you between his thighs, the place he’s dreamed of many nights.

Pulling down his sweats eagerly, you gripped his cock, leaning in to lick up from the base. You wasted no time in sucking along him, swirling your tongue and bobbing down his body.

“Fuck,” he whispered, pushing you down, thrusting his hips into your throat.

You coughed, pulling back up before sliding down again, using your hand to assist with what you couldn’t take.

“Touch yourself,” he said, sharing a slutty smile as he fucked your mouth, “use your fingers to cum while you suck my cock.”

Obeying him, you took your fingers and found the familiar spots along your desire, pleasing yourself how you knew best to Noah’s words.

It was almost embarrassing how much saliva emanated from your mouth and onto his arousal as you devoured him.

“You’re such a good girl. Jolly was right, you do give the best fucking head.”

Moaning at his words you closed your eyes, gagging on him once again as you worked yourself to another orgasm. Knowing that the boys talked about you made your ears warm, and you were sure Noah would then be talking to them about this.

With one final thrust, you pulled your mouth away from Noah, breath catching in your throat as you came again.

Noah smiled down at you with pride.

Standing up he spread his thighs, stoking himself as he made you turn around with a finger.

“I want to watch your ass bounce on my cock. So turn.”

His hands guided your hips down onto his arousal, relishing in the feeling of how hard he was.

Noah’s groans were erotic as he pushed you up in down, letting you ride him.

He then held you up, using his hips to thrust from underneath momentarily.

Your third orgasm was approaching, the sound of Noah’s whimpers and curses causing you to clench around him in need.

“Fuck don’t do that, I’ll cum,” he hissed, pulling out and pushing you to rest over the railing in front of you. Noah stood behind you now, holding your hips as he thrust into you mercilessly.

He leaned forward, pressing his chest to your back “Let me take you on a proper date tomorrow night, make you mine, yeah?”

Moaning his name you clenched around him and let your body convulse along his cock, letting your third orgasm wash down each of your limbs.

Noah’s breathing was erratic as he pushed you to your knees, holding your chin to his arousal as he stoked himself to his climax.

You took the tip in your mouth, swallowing his release with need, sucking until the brunette pushed you away from the sensitivity.

The two of you stood in front of each other, breathing heavily as your eyes were fixated on each other.

There was no going back now, each of the boys had confessed their need, leaving you a withering mess.

Noah held the back of your head, pulling you in for one more needy kiss, before grabbing your bag for you and pulling you down the stairs.

He was silent on the walk back to the bus, both of you hand in hand.

Your mind raced with what-ifs, memories of each boy taking over the next.

When you two finally made it back, you heard Matt yelling from inside.

“Ya’ll have a bet for her and didn’t even fill me in? Fucking pricks, I woulda had the best shot outta all of yall.”

Looking over at Noah, he ran his fingers through the onyx strands with a nervous smile.

“A bet Noah? Really?”

He nodded, and then the bus door opened, revealing the other boys.

They cursed under their breath as you folded your arms, shaking your head in amusement.

“So who won?” You pried, eyes lingering on each of them for a moment.

“Definitely not fucking me,” Matt mumbled, annoyed.

“I don’t think any of us did,” Ruffilo spoke slowly, looking at each of his friends.

Rocking on your toes you chewed back a smile, “Then I bet I can make you do it all over again.”

Part two

tags:

(i tagged everyone since this has all the boys in it :) if you want on or off the taglist, please let me know!

@thefallennightmare @xxkittenkissesxx @deathblacksmoke @nyxisnotok @anameunmusical

@sitkowski @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86

@whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13

@somewhere-diamond @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak

@darkmxgician @sprokat @thatchickwiththecamera @reyadawn @xserenax-13 @foliosgirl

@philomenie @illmakeyousaywow @nyxisnotok @wh0th3h3llisbucky @into-the-grey