#So I think I find it funnier than it actually is cause in a way I GET IT HWUWHAHAHAAH LIKE A LOT WHWUAHAHAHA

[garlculean]

      Anonymous asked. " Very very important question! Is this version of Wario forklift Certified? "

↳ Unprompted.

      𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐅𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐇. THATS RIGHT. MARIOS TOO LATE, FOR WARIO IS FORKLIFT CERTIFIED. WAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAW.

[everwalldigan]

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

[neferaskingdom]

♡ Closetgate: The Max-tastrophe | MV1

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader [Face Claim: None]

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Summary: Max finds himself in a very tight situation—literally. Lando is summoned for an emergency extraction, Charles serenades about honor, Y/N fights for her life trying to prove that nothing happened and the boys plan Max's funeral, but hey at least they finally kissed?

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Part 4 of my wheel-to-wheel but still in denial series: Masterlist

Y/N never expected this to happen. One moment, she was causing chaos on Instagram with that elevator pic—harmless fun, right? But Max’s confession came out of nowhere, and now she was standing in her apartment, heart pounding.

She barely had time to process the fact that she’d just invited Max over, let alone get ready. Y/N looked down at her oversized, mismatched pajama set, which sported a giant, ridiculous “I Paused My Game to Be Here” T-shirt. Definitely not the “I’ve just confessed to liking my childhood rival” look she was going for.

She barely had time to question her life choices before there was a knock at the door. When she opened it, Max stood there, leaning against the doorframe like he wasn’t about to change everything. He gave her that classic smirk, but something felt different tonight—softer, more uncertain.

“Did you run here or teleport?” she asked, unable to hide her surprise.

“I might have broken a few traffic laws,” he joked, walking in like he hadn’t just sprinted across town. He glanced around her apartment, then at her, still wearing her gaming shirt. "Nice shirt, by the way," he smirked.

She rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Verstappen. I didn’t expect you to break the sound barrier to get here.” Max chuckled, plopping down on her couch like he belonged there. "You texted, I ran. It's the natural order of things."

"You actually came," she blurted, mostly because she didn’t know what else to say. The second the words left her mouth, she realized how ridiculous they sounded. "You told me to," Max shot back, stepping inside without missing a beat. "What, did you think I’d say no?"

"I don’t know! Maybe?" she stammered, closing the door behind him. "This whole thing is weird!" 

"Weird how?" Max turned to face her, looking genuinely confused. "Because I confessed or because you didn’t see it coming?"

Y/N groaned, throwing her hands up. "Both! Max, we’ve spent most of our lives arguing over who’s funnier and which one of us sucks more. And now you’re telling me you like me? You don’t just drop that bomb and act like everything’s normal!"

Max shrugged, trying to act casual, but there was something in his eyes that made Y/N’s stomach flip. "I’m not saying it’s normal. I’m saying it’s real. We joke around because that’s us. But I like you, Y/N. I’ve liked you for years. I just didn’t want to mess up what we had."

Y/N’s mind was racing. She couldn’t reconcile the Max in front of her with the one who used to relentlessly call her out on social media. “So, what? You’ve been secretly into me while roasting me all these years? And I’m just supposed to be like, ‘Yeah, cool, let’s date now?’”

Max smiled, but it wasn’t his usual cocky grin. It was softer, more vulnerable. "I get it. It sounds insane. But I’m serious. When I saw that post, Y/N… I thought you had someone else. And it hit me harder than I expected. I realized I didn’t want to just be the guy you bicker with online. I wanted more than that."

She stared at him, still processing. "So, you’re telling me this now because of one random photo?"

"It wasn’t just the photo," Max said, stepping closer. "It was the idea that I’d waited too long. That I might have missed my shot."

Her heart skipped a beat. This was getting real, fast. Y/N crossed her arms, more to protect herself from the flood of emotions than anything else. "Max… I don’t know what to say."

Max chuckled lightly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck—a nervous habit she’d noticed over the years. "You don’t have to say anything. I just couldn’t keep pretending anymore."

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. There was something so raw and honest about him right now, and it was messing with her. This was Max—her partner in social media wars, her favorite person to annoy. And now, he was standing in her living room, confessing feelings that she didn’t know how to handle.

Finally, she let out a breathy laugh. "You’re really bad at timing, you know that? I was just getting used to us hating each other."

Max’s smile widened. "We never hated each other, Y/N."

"Sure felt like it sometimes," she muttered, though there was no bite behind her words. She was too busy trying to sort through the tangled mess of emotions in her head.

"Come on," he teased softly. "You know we’ve always had a thing."

"A thing?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so insulting each other in public and trolling each other on Instagram was just our way of flirting?"

Max stepped closer, and this time, there was no teasing in his voice. "For me, yeah. That’s always been part of it. But it’s more than that."

Max says with a shrug. “I like you because you're chaotic and you keep me on my toes. Plus, I figured all the teasing was basically foreplay.”

Her jaw dropped. “Excuse me?!” She grabbed a throw pillow and launched it at him. “That is not how that works!”

Max laughed, catching the pillow and tossing it aside. “Hey, if it’s not, it should be! We’ve been bantering for years—it’s basically flirting with extra steps.”

She facepalmed, letting out a frustrated groan. “This is so not how I expected this conversation to go. You’re taking all of this way too casually!”

Y/N’s heart was beating so loud she was sure he could hear it. "Max, this is a lot. I didn’t… I didn’t expect this."

"I know." His voice was soft now, almost unsure. "But I had to tell you. I’ve been holding it in for so long, and I thought—"

"That you’d shoot your shot now?" she cut in, trying to lighten the mood even though her head was spinning.

He grinned, finally relaxing a bit. "Exactly. You can’t blame me for that, right?"

She bit her lip, trying to hide a smile. "I guess not. But… Max, I—"

He raised a hand, stopping her. "You don’t have to say anything right now. I just wanted to be honest. For once."

Y/N sighed, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on her. "But here’s the thing… I kinda, sorta like you too." The words slipped out before she could stop them, and she immediately wanted to crawl into a hole.

Max blinked, then his smile widened into something she’d never seen before—completely genuine and warm. "Kinda, sorta, huh?"

She rolled her eyes, though her heart was flipping. "Don’t make this weird."

"Too late," Max said, stepping even closer, his voice playful but soft. "You’ve already made it weird."

Y/N groaned. "You’re impossible."

"And you like me anyway," Max shot back with a grin, his face just inches from hers now.

Y/N sighed, her defenses finally crumbling as she looked up at him. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Y/N sat down beside him, feeling the weight of the situation settle in. She looked at him—his stupid grin, his messy hair, his absolute lack of any chill—and suddenly it all clicked. This wasn’t some weird joke or prank. Max actually meant every word.

"Okay," she said slowly, still processing. "But I reserve the right to make fun of you for the rest of our lives."

Max grinned, scooting closer. “Deal. But you should know, I’m not backing down. Now that I’ve made my move, I’m all in.”

“God, you’re so dramatic,” Y/N muttered, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Well, you kinda like me that way,” he teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” she rolled her eyes. But deep down, she knew he was right.

Before she could say anything else, Max leaned down, his lips brushing hers in the softest, most unexpected kiss. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that swept her off her feet or made fireworks explode, but it was perfect. It was exactly what she didn’t know she needed.

When he pulled back, he was still smiling, his hand lingering on her cheek. "Told you we’ve always had a thing."

Y/N was too flustered to argue, her mind still reeling from everything that had just happened. "Okay," she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. "But don’t think this changes anything. I’m still gonna kick your ass at karting ."

Max chuckled, pulling her into his arms. "I wouldn’t expect anything less."

They kissed again, and this time it was longer, more intense. Y/N felt herself melting into Max’s arms, his hands gently resting on her waist as he pulled her closer. She could feel the warmth of him, the steady beat of his heart under her fingertips as her hands slid up to his chest. His lips were soft but insistent, and there was a tenderness in the way he kissed her, as if he’d been waiting for this moment far longer than she had imagined.

Her hands slipped up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and Max responded instantly, deepening the kiss in a way that made her head spin. For a few blissful seconds, all the banter, the teasing, and the chaos of their lives disappeared, leaving only the two of them and the unspoken tension that had always been there, simmering beneath the surface.

When they finally pulled apart, slightly breathless, Y/N looked up at him, trying to steady her pounding heart. Max's lips were still curved into a small, satisfied smile, and his thumb absentmindedly traced the side of her hip.

“You know,” she started, trying to regain her composure, “if you’re going to stay, I could, uh, make some space on the couch.”

Max raised an eyebrow, his smirk returning in full force. “You want me to spend the night?”

Her face heated instantly, but she refused to let him see her squirm. “Don’t get too excited, Verstappen.” She poked him in the chest, narrowing her eyes playfully. “No funny business. It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than a last-minute confession for me to invite you to my bed.”

Max chuckled, his laugh low and sending a ripple of warmth down her spine. He leaned in, his voice dropping to that maddening, teasing tone she was starting to realize she might actually like. “Oh, I wasn’t planning on funny business, Y/N.” His lips brushed her ear, making her shiver slightly. “I’m gonna wine and dine you, take my time. By the time I’m done, you’ll be begging me to come to bed.”

Y/N’s eyes widened at his words, and she smacked his arm, trying to play it cool, though her heart was practically doing somersaults. “Begging?” she repeated, a disbelieving laugh escaping her. “You’ve officially lost your mind.”

Max, completely unbothered, grinned like the cat who caught the canary. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“God, I’m going to regret this,” Y/N muttered, though a smile tugged at her lips.

“Only if I don’t get the chance to prove you wrong,” Max shot back smoothly, his arm casually wrapping around her waist as if they’d done this a hundred times before.

Y/N rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t deny the warmth spreading through her. “Fine. You get the couch. And maybe—maybe—we’ll see about that whole wining and dining thing later.”

Max leaned back, stretching out on the couch with that same cocky grin. “Challenge accepted.”

Text Message between Y/N and Lando:

y/n: LANDO I’M GONNA DIE. y/n: LIKE ACTUAL DEATH. COME TO MY APARTMENT NOW.

lando: huh??? lando: it’s 8am, woman chill lando: also why is this my problem

y/n: CHARLES IS HERE y/n: HE SHOWED UP AT 7AM AND HASN’T SHUT UP FOR AN HOUR y/n: He’s on a WHOLE monologue about "family honor" y/n: I AM GOING TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW IF YOU DON’T HELP ME

lando: and again lando: why… is this my problem? 💀

y/n: BECAUSE MAX IS HIDING IN MY CLOSET, LANDO y/n: IF CHARLES FINDS HIM HERE, I’M GONNA NEED TO WRITE A EULOGY y/n: HELP

lando: … lando: hold up HOLD UP MAX IS WHERE NOW???

y/n: CLOSET. MAX IS IN THE CLOSET. y/n: LIKE. LITERALLY HIDING IN MY CLOSET RIGHT NOW BECAUSE CHARLES IS RANTING ABOUT THE ELEVATOR PICTURE

y/n: AND IF CHARLES FINDS HIM HERE HE’LL LITERALLY COMMIT MURDER!!!

y/n: HURRY UP AND GET HERE I NEED A DISTRACTION y/n: HE’S GOING TO KILL US BOTH AND THEN DRAG OUR BODIES THROUGH THE STREETS OF MONACO

lando: LMFAOOO NOT MAX HIDING IN THE CLOSET LIKE HE’S IN A TEEN ROMCOM 💀 lando:  YOU AND MAX?? 

lando: Wait so like. Did you two… y’know? 👀

y/n: NO NO NO IT’S NOT LIKE THAT, I SWEAR. y/n: WE DID NOT HOOK UP. NOTHING HAPPENED. y/n: but if charles finds him he’s not gonna believe that, you KNOW how dramatic he is

lando: Then why’s he in your closet, huh?

lando: You’re telling me you two were just doing nothing at 7am, and now he’s hiding from your overprotective brother??

lando: This is sus af 💀

y/n: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOTHING HAPPENED. y/n: He came over to… uh… talk? y/n: BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!! HURRY THE HELL UP BEFORE CHARLES GOES FULL "BIG BROTHER PROTECTOR MODE" AND THINKS THE WORST

lando: Soooo Max just "talks" now? Sure, sure. Just casually talking at 7am at your apartment. lando: I bet he was gonna give you a "lecture" of his own, wasn’t he? 😉

y/n: I’M GOING TO BLOCK YOU IF YOU DON’T STOP.

y/n: HURRY UP, LANDO.

lando: yeah your brother’s gonna yeet Max into the Mediterranean Sea 💀 lando: this is absolutely gold lando: I’m grabbing popcorn, one sec

y/n: STOP JOKING I’M SERIOUS LANDO y/n: CHARLES IS GOING ON ABOUT “RESPECT” AND “TRADITION” LIKE WE’RE IN A DAMN PERIOD DRAMA y/n: HURRY UP AND GET HIM OUT OF HERE. CHA IS LITERALLY OUT HERE RAMBLING ABOUT "RESPECTING FAMILY HONOR."

lando: Fiiiine, I’m getting out of bed. lando: But seriously, Max? Who would have guessed? That’s hilarious. You could’ve picked a better hiding spot tho 💀

y/n: YOU THINK I HAD TIME TO COORDINATE A BETTER PLAN WHEN CHARLES SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE???

lando: You could’ve gone with like… under the bed? Maybe pretend he’s a delivery guy? 😂 lando: Closet’s too obvious, mate. Rookie mistake.

y/n: OKAY, SPYMASTER LANDO, HOW ABOUT YOU FOCUS ON GETTING HERE AND NOT ON MY HIDING STRATEGIES?

lando: wait sooooo lando: MAX REALLY STAYED OVER?? 👀 lando: I’M TELLING YOU, I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN YOU TWO. YOU DON’T HIDE IN CLOSETS FOR JUST ANYONE, SIS

y/n: WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING LANDO. I SWEAR TO GOD. y/n: BUT IF YOU DON’T GET HERE, CHARLES IS GONNA ASSUME THE WORST AND START DIGGING A GRAVE

lando: fine fine I’m coming 💀 lando: this is too good tho, I’m never letting you live this down lando: if Charles finds Max it’s gonna be like “sooo, Max, wanna explain why you’re hiding in my sister’s closet like a serial killer?”

y/n: LANDO. I WILL BLOCK YOU. y/n: JUST GET HERE NOW, BEFORE I HAVE TO FAKE MY OWN DEATH TO ESCAPE THIS SITUATION

lando: can’t wait to see you try to explain why Max is suddenly living in your closet 😭😭 lando: tell Charles Max is helping you with a home renovation or some shit 💀 lando: I’ll be there soon to save your ass

y/n: IF YOU DON’T HURRY, IT’LL BE MY FUNERAL YOU’RE COMING TO. y/n: I’M NOT KIDDING, LANDO. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

lando: Yeah yeah I’m on it.

lando: But if Max survives this, I wanna be best man at the wedding 🥂

lando created a group

lando added Y/N, max, daniel, george and alex to the group

lando has changed the name of the group to “Drive to Survive: Closet Edition”

lando: EMERGENCY GROUP CHAT. STOP EVERYTHING. 🚨

george: Bro, it’s like 9AM. What now??

alex: Bro, what is it this time?? Did you lose your keys again? 💀

daniel:  Lando, I swear to God, if this is about you locking yourself out of your car again, I’m leaving the group chat.

lando: NO. BIGGER. MUCH BIGGER. lando: I had to save Max’s life this morning. 😳

max: lando, if you even—

lando: MAX WAS HIDING IN Y/N’S CLOSET THIS MORNING.

y/n: LANDO, I SWEAR TO GOD—

george: HOLD ON. Max was hiding in what now?? george: MAX. HIDING. IN Y/N’S CLOSET?! 💀

alex: WAIT WAIT WAIT. MAX?! IN HER CLOSET?? alex: Sounds like an F1 driver version of "Narnia." 🦁 alex: But instead of a lion, you found… Max?

daniel: Wait, hold on. HOLD UP.

daniel: Max was hiding? In Y/N’s closet?

daniel: Were you two… busy? 👀

daniel: This is starting to sound like the setup to a very different kind of movie, if you know what I mean… 

lando: RIGHT?! Closet boy Max out here sneaking around at 7AM.

y/n: NOTHING HAPPENED. y/n: CHARLES SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND MAX HAD TO HIDE OR HE’D BE DEAD.

lando: She’s underselling it. Charles was out here talking about "honor" like we were back in medieval times.

max: she’s not wrong, charles had murder in his eyes talking about Y/N’s hypothetical boyfriend

george: So, you’re telling me Max was hiding in Y/N’s closet because big bro Charles was about to lose his mind? george: LMAO Max, mate, you were this close to becoming roadkill at the next race.

george: This is gold. Max, you hiding like a teenage boy sneaking out of a girl’s room?! How much were you sweating?

max: look, it was either the closet or death by leclerc

alex: Soooo... you were hiding because…? 👀

alex: If Charles finds out, he’s definitely running Max off the track next race. alex: Or worse, he’ll crash right into him. 💀

daniel: Run him off the track? Charles would straight-up crash into Max next race, no questions asked. 💀

george: Mate, can you imagine? Lap 20: "Verstappen crashes after mysterious contact with Leclerc." 🤔

george: "Sources say Charles Leclerc was last seen revving his engine and screaming about his sister’s honor."

daniel: Bro, I can already see the headlines: "Verstappen DNF—Cause: Leclerc Rage." daniel: Max would be like, "I’m innocent!" while Charles just revs the engine like, "Try me bitch."

lando: Charles would be all smiles in the press conference like, "It was an unfortunate incident…" lando: Meanwhile, Max’s car would still be smoldering in the background.

max: ngl, he’d probably reverse just to make sure it’s done right 😬

alex: "Accident," sure, Charles. I’m sure brake checking Max into the wall was totally accidental.

daniel: Sooo… why were you hiding, Max? 👀 daniel: Closet redecoration? Or were you two getting cozy? 😏

lando: Oh, come on, there’s no hiding in closets unless something was happening. Let’s be real here. 👀

max: look, i was just… you know… max: avoiding death by overprotective brothers. that’s all.

george: Sure, Max. Just avoiding "death"… by hiding in her closet. Sounds innocent. Totally.

alex: Did you fold her clothes while you were in there, or just admire the view? 😂

daniel: Oh, we’re calling it "admiring the view" now, huh?

max: you guys have dirty minds, jesus

lando: Bro, you were literally in her closet. This is peak suspicious behavior.

y/n: NOTHING HAPPENED. y/n: STOP MAKING THIS WEIRD. 🙃

lando: Y/N, babe, you don’t just shove someone in your closet for no reason. There’s something here.

daniel: Yeah, like… what were you two really doing before Charles showed up? 👀 daniel: C’mon, no one hides someone unless they’re in the middle of… something.

y/n: I swear to god, if one more person suggests anything—

max: maybe i was just there to give her fashion advice 🤷‍♂️

george: OH, so that’s what they’re calling it now? "Fashion advice." Sounds steamy.

daniel: So what’d you suggest, Max? "Less clothes"? 😏

y/n: I’M LITERALLY GOING TO MUTE THIS CHAT. NOTHING HAPPENED.

lando: Uh-huh. Sure. lando: You don’t just casually invite Max over to give you "advice" in the early hours of the morning unless something’s going on. Just saying. 😉

daniel: I mean, I’d hide Max too if he showed up like that… 👀

alex: "Like that"? Sounds like Max was already halfway to being undressed. 💀

y/n: YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

max: you get used to it after a while

lando: Okay, okay, jokes aside… are you two, like, officially a thing now?

max: yeah, y/n and i… we’re seeing where this goes. officially.

george: OMG, IT'S HAPPENING. MAX AND Y/N ARE OFFICIALLY A THING. 🎉

lando: SOUND THE ALARMS, EVERYONE. lando: We’ve got ourselves a new grid couple. 👀

daniel: Ahhh, the "closet inchident" seals the deal. Love it. You Leclerc’s sure do love your Inchidents

alex: Soooo… have you told Charles yet? Or do we get to keep this secret and watch the chaos unfold?

y/n: ABSOLUTELY NOT. NONE OF YOU SAY A WORD. y/n: Do you WANT Max to end up in a wall at Monza?!

george: Max already looks like he’s preparing his will. 😂

max: pretty sure charles will crash into me on lap 1 if he finds out too early

daniel: I mean, Charles is gonna "accidentally" forget how to brake if he finds out Max’s been sneaking around his sister. 💀

lando: Yeah, next race? You’re gonna see Charles giving Max the death stare before they even get to Turn 1.

max: I’ll be lucky if I don’t get run off the track before lap 10

alex: Charles be like, "Oh sorry, did I cut across your line? Total accident, mate."

george: Imagine Arthur joining in, double-teaming Max on the straights. 💀

alex: "Sorry mate, but family’s family."

daniel: Max, if Charles finds out you were in her closet, he’s coming for you both on and off the track. No question.

lando: I can see it now—Max and Y/N in the paddock: "Charles, listen, it’s not what it looks like!" Meanwhile, Charles is just revving the engine, ready to take you out. 😂

max: and here i thought the danger was over when i left her apartment

alex: Bro, the danger just began. Charles is about to add "track rage" to his skillset.

daniel: "Oh, Max? Never heard of him. My car just had a mind of its own today." daniel: RIP Verstappen 1997-2024 💀

lando: You’ll go down as a legend, Max. "The man who was brave enough to date a Leclerc and live to tell the tale."

max: that’s if i make it past monza

y/n: YOU’RE ALL DRAMATIC.

george: Dramatic? Us? No way. george: I’m just saying, you better have a solid excuse ready when Charles finds out.

y/n: We’ll tell him eventually. Just… not now. y/n: And until then, if any of you open your big mouths, Max’s blood is on your hands.

daniel: So, what’s the plan? Keep hiding Max in your closet until you tell Charles? 💀

y/n: technically, yes.

y/n: But until then, NONE OF YOU SAY A WORD. LET ME HANDLE THIS.

lando: I mean… if I accidentally let it slip, is that on me or on the fact that Max was literally hiding in a CLOSET? 🤔

max: thanks lando, really appreciate it

daniel: Don’t worry, Max, we’ll make sure your funeral’s nice. Real classy. 💐

alex: I’ll bring flowers. Something dramatic, like roses. 🌹

george has changed the name of the group to “Max's Funeral Planning Committee"

george: Should we do slow-mo highlights of Max’s best overtakes at his funeral? Maybe some sad violin music?

lando: I’m picturing Max’s ghost standing next to Charles, watching the replays like, "Really? This is how I go out?" 💀

y/n: YOU’RE ALL INSANE. STOP JOKING ABOUT THIS.

george: We’ll make sure it’s an open casket. But, you know, open… after Charles crashes into it.

y/n: I’M BLOCKING ALL OF YOU.

lando: Can’t imagine how you'd even explain Max’s sudden appearance in your wardrobe to Charles. "He’s just helping with interior design, bro!" 😂

max: okay okay, enough. max: but for real, don’t tell charles anything yet.

daniel: Sure, we’ll keep the secret. For now. But we want front-row seats when you break the news.

y/n: Let me handle it before anyone here decides to run their big mouth.

lando: Big mouth? Me? Never. 😉

george: You know, this whole "keeping it secret" thing feels very Romeo and Juliet.

lando: Yeah but without the poison, please.

daniel: More like, Romeo hiding in Juliet’s closet while her brother lectures her for an hour. 😂

alex: "Romeo, why are you still in that closet?" alex: "Shhh, Charles will kill me."

max: i hate you all

alex: Don’t worry, Max. We’ll be at the next race, just in case Charles accidentally loses his brakes. 😂

y/n: You’re all the worst. 🙄

lando: Max, you better not be hiding in anyone else’s closet anytime soon. lando: Or else this group chat’s gonna have to upgrade to "Max’s Closet Chronicles: The Sequel."

y/n: Don’t give him ideas.

george: Max: Professional F1 Driver by day, Closet Houdini by night. 😭

max: i hate you all

y/n: Welcome to the club.

daniel: This is gonna be legendary.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[knavesflames]

since we are both sick in the head, i request biker arle headcanons (both sfw and nsfw)

oouuhhh thinking about biker arle who looks all intimidating and has tattoos showing up to your doorstep with flowers and melts when shes around you

im gonna throw up

thankyouiloveyoubyee

We truly are sick in the head. Literally what is it about this woman that has us in such a chokehold actually it’s so stupid but UGH. I have not once simped over a fictional woman as hard as this. Anyway, screaming, crying, throwing up at the thought of her

Anyone notice the references to a couple people in server?

Word count: 1159

Contents: fluff, soft arle, she’s scary but she’s not

Fluff utc!

Arlecchino. Everyone knows her. Who wouldn’t know the biker filled with tattoos, going around cursing like a sailor and never being seen without that stupid motorbike? She’s scary, intimidating. Even the grown adults shy away when they hear the familiar engine from afar, or refuse to look at her when she grumbles out that she wants to buy coffee. Even the store owner who supplies her parts for her bike and accessories for her stumbles over his words when she says she wants a new helmet. This one just doesn’t make her hair look nice when she takes it off, she says. The store owner is too intimidated to correct her, and tell her that it is not, in fact, the helmet’s fault.

The people in town also seem to be a little wary around you, too. They seem to know that if they say the wrong thing, or cause your face to fall or crumple, or cause tears to fall from your pretty eyes, that they’ll soon be facing the wrath of Arlecchino. Nobody seems to understand how you managed to break through her walls, how someone like you, so opposite Arlecchino, has her melting. Everyone sees it. Do they comment on it? Do they want to face her piercing glare, and whatever else she would do? Not a chance. It’s a little comical, though, seeing someone so tough looking, waiting outside of a store holding your cat, holding her in her arms while she feeds it treats every so often, going so far as to buy and place a bandana around her neck to surprise you. She does this all with a straight face, of course. It’s second nature to her, she’ll do anything for that smile of yours, the same smile that makes her feel like her insides have been set ablaze, makes her feel like a blushing teenager all over again.

You yourself think it’s adorable. Walking out of the store to see her holding your beloved cat (you joke that the cat is more important than her to see her pout) (you reassure her straight after that they’re on the same level, just to watch her pale cheeks flush a light pink). In reality, she makes you melt just as much. You have to hide the grin forming on your face when she speaks to you in that stoic voice she always has.

“Look. She looks dashing, I think. Matches my bike. I should get her a helmet.. I will ask someone to custom make one, I can take her on rides.” You cut her off immediately with an “absolutely not. My cat is not riding on a motorcycle.”

“Oh. Okay. I am still getting her a helmet. I want us to match.” She responds, her face completely blank, which makes everything funnier. You stand on your toes to kiss her cheek, pretending you don’t see the way her eyes widen. “My two favourite beings staying safe, wonderful.”

Even the notion that she’s one of your favourite things has her turning on her heel to conceal the ever growing blush on her face. She finds herself blushing often when she’s around you, she realises. She realises also that her words falter when you tell her to not speed, to make sure she’s wearing the correct material, that no, she doesn’t need to try and look sexy, that you find her the sexiest when she’s wearing the correct things.

She’s out riding for longer than usual, this time. The evening is dragging on, and she ALWAYS texts you when she’s home. She knows how you worry.

She is, actually, finished with her evening ride. Riding her bike as the sun sets is freeing for her. She likes to picture all of the negative shit being left in the wind as she drives. This evening, however, she drove past a field. A field decorated with different wild flowers she just knows you’d love. So, she slows to a stop, parking her bike in a way she knows won’t get it damaged. Her bike is her prized possession, second to you. She wades through the flowers, finding the best ones, slicing the stalk with her nails, the ones she kept long and not filed blunt (for your sake, of course). She grumbles to herself when the ovule gets under her nails. Once she deems the small bouquet good enough, she drives to you. Stopping just a little ways from you, she ties her boot lace around the stalks of the flowers, tying a clumsy bow. Arlecchino being Arlecchino, fixes herself as best as she can before she finds her feet moving towards your door.

When you rush to open the door after hearing her familiar knocking pattern, your own words falter for once. There she is. Stood in that shirt she KNOWS shows off her arms and the tattoos she knows you love, stood in those jeans she and you know all too well shows off her ass. She’s caught you staring, it’s the reason she wears them. And in her hand sits a messy, slightly wilted bouquet of flowers, clearly handpicked, hand cut (or rather, nail cut, you can see the residue under her nails), tied clumsily with a boot lace of all things.

“Here,” she mutters, “I thought you’d like these. Sorry they’re all.. weird.” You’re silent for a few seconds before she speaks again, a little defeat in her tone as she glances away, a sad frown twisting at her features despite her attempting to hide it. “Never mind. It was stupid. They’re ugly now, anyway. Have a good night.”

She goes to turn, but your hand shoots out and wraps around her bicep before she can leave. “Stop it. I love them. I don’t know what to say because you’re so.. adorable.”

“I’m what.” Her voice almost sounds shocked, if it wasn’t for the rough attempt at stoicism. She never thought she’d be called adorable in her life. She’s not meant to be adorable. She doesn’t want to be adorable. Her insides say otherwise, when she sees your soft eyes, filled with small tears, and your eyebrows furrowed in a look of pure adoration. You snatch the flowers before she can take them away, immediately walking into your home and placing them in a vase in the middle of your living room. She watches, straight faced, no indication of her feelings until she huffs, her face bright red.

“Turn on the air condition. It’s fucking hot in here. Where’s that kitty of yours, I want to see if she liked the fox toy I bought her.”

You look at her once more, a giggle rising in your throat as you tilt your head towards the cat tower, your eyes following as she moves towards it. You realise just how much you love this woman. At the same time, she realises she probably wants to spend her life with you, if you’d let her.

[mustainegf]

high sex with kirk. just being his best friend but you get so horny from the weed that you just HAVE to fuck. need that NEOWWW

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA?? AND SOOO KIRK

𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ¹⁹⁸⁶

We were lounging on the old couch in Kirk's basement, the joint being passed back and forth. The room was dark except for the lava lamp, its slow hypnotic glow casting a dim light on everything. Everything was seeming a little funky, like the weed was hitting us a little bit harder than it usually did. My head was foggy in the right way, my body felt heavy, it was sinking deeper into the cushions.

Kirk took a long drag, his eyes half closed. "Man, this stuff is good," he managed to say in a slow, lazy tone. He passed the joint back to me and I hit it, feeling the smoke burn slightly before I let it out in a soft, hazy cloud.

I turned to him, and something caught my eye. He shifted in his seat, almost uncomfortably. It took a moment for me to realize what was going on, and then when I did, I couldn't help but laugh. "Kirk, are you…?" I laughed, motioning to the very obvious bulge in his black jeans.

He groaned, tossing his head back onto the couch. "Don't," he muttered while covering his face with his hand. I was already laughing, that uncontrollable, high pitched giggle that comes when you're way too high and everything feels way more hilarious than it should be.

"I can't help it!" I sputtered, giggling. "It's just there!" I waved my hand in a general direction at his lap, and he groaned again, his cheeks flushing a little. "What's got you all worked up, huh?" I teased, nudging his arm.

He was groaning, but at the same time he was smiling, the corners of his mouth twitching up, he couldn't help but find it kind of funny too. "It's the weed," he mumbled. "It always makes me… you know."

I raised an eyebrow. "Horny?" I asked, barely suppressing another laugh. He nodded, clearly embarrassed which just made it funnier.

"Well," I said, smiling wryly, "what are you gonna do about it? 'Cause it doesn't seem like it's going anywhere." I relaxed back, my head resting against the back of the couch.

Kirk chuckled, running a hand through his messy black hair. "I don't know," he said, shifting uncomfortably again. "Just trying to, like, think of other stuff."

I looked at him, then at the bulge, which wasn't very clearly going away. "You sure about that?" I asked, grinning. I could see frustration on his face, but it was rather comical, in a weird way.

I couldn't stop myself. Without even thinking about it, I reached over and pressed down on his crotch, right on top of his jeans with a giggle. "Maybe 'little Kirk' just needs some help going down," I laughed.

The second my hand touched, though, he let out this low, almost helpless moan. I froze a second, my eyes wide. "Whoa," I said, laughing but also a little surprised. "Did that actually feel good?"

He bit his lip, half lidded eyes on mine. "You have no idea," he said, voice rougher now, almost desperate. "I told you, I'm too fucking high for this shit.

I blinked, teasing still but intrigued a little now. "So you're saying this isn't going away, huh?" I asked, pressing down again, this time harder. He moaned again; his hips shifted slightly under my hand.

I should have stopped there. Should've let it go, made another joke, moved on. Something about the way he reacted stirred something inside me. Maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was the way he looked at me-his eyes dark, needy. And I felt my body spark up, a burn started low in my belly.

"Well, what are you gunna do about it?" I asked, my voice lower now, maybe not quite as teasing.

Kirk looked at me, his eyes hot. "I can't… it's not just gonna go away," he growled, his voice low. "Not without, you know…" His eyes flashed to my lips and my pulse sped up.

My mouth went dry, but I forced a smile, keeping it light despite the fact that I was beginning to feel it, too. "What, you need me to fix it for you?" I teased, but there was heat behind my words now.

He didn't say a word, but the glint in his eye said it all. And before I could really think about what I was really doing, I moved, scrambling on top of him, straddling his lap. His hands came up to rest on my hips, like he’d been waiting to do so.

"This is probably a terrible idea," I said, but I was already tilting forward, my lips grabbing his.

"Probably," he agreed, but then his mouth was on mine, and the rest of the world went away.

It was a sloppy kiss, all fire and need. His hands slipped up underneath my T shirt, his calloused fingertips grazing my skin and shooting shivers down my spine. I could feel how hard he was beneath me, the rigid length of his arousal pressing against me through his jeans. I rocked down on him, and he groaned into my mouth, his grasp on my hips clenching tighter.

I pulled back just far enough to tug my shirt over my head, flinging it aside before reaching for his. He helped me, tugging it off in one smooth tug. His chest was hot to mine, heart pounding just as hard as mine was.

I leaned down, pressing kisses along his jaw, down his neck, while my hands fumbled with the button of his jeans. "Let's see if we can help 'little Kirk' out," I whispered, smirking against his skin.

He laughed breathlessly, but it degenerated into a groan when I finally succeeded in unzipping his jeans, sliding my hand inside. His cock was hot and pulsing, and I couldn't help but stroke him slowly, teasingly.

"Fuck," he hissed, hips bucking up into my hand. "You're killing me.”

I smiled, enjoying the control I had over him in this instant. But I was just as riled up now, my own body aching with need. "Then let's make it better," I said, getting up briefly to remove my jeans and underwear, just as he did his.

When we were both naked, I climbed back onto his lap, his cock pressing insistently against my entrance. I hesitated for just a second, meeting his eyes, and everything felt more comfortable, more real. But then he kissed me again, and I felt myself fall a little bit in love.

I sank down onto him slowly, both of us groaning at the sensation. He filled me completely and for a moment we just stayed like that, savoring the feeling. Then I started to move, rolling my hips in slow, steady motions, and he matched my pumps, his hands clamping onto my hips and guiding me up and down on his length.

It was messy, sloppy, but in the best of ways. We were frantic, our bodies slick with sweat. I rode him quick, my nails digging into his shoulders while his tip rubbed my G spot relentlessly.

Truthfully, it didn’t take either of us that long. The weed, combined with everything going on, just had both of us on the edge.

The tension built and built within my body, tighter and tighter until I just could not hold it back anymore. I came with a soft cry, my whole body trembling around him, and a few moments later, he followed, his hips jerking up into mine as he released inside me. Warm spurts heated me from the inside.

We stayed that way for a moment, both of us breathing hard, still tied in each other's arms. Then I fell against his chest, and he wrapped himself around me, holding me tight as we came down from the high.

"Well," I said after a minute, my voice still tired, "that was…"

"Fucking crazy," he completed, and we both erupted into laughter, the sound echoing in the otherwise silent room.

We were high, tangled up in each other, but now the calm was in, that lazy satisfaction after the storm. I burrowed my face into his neck, feeling his heartbeat start to slow down beneath my cheek.

"I guess weed really does make you horny," I said, smirking against his skin.

He chuckled softly, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my back. "Apparently.".

We spent some time just lying there, cuddling, our bodies still buzzing from the high, but much more relaxed now. No trace of awkwardness whatsoever, no weirdness-just two of us, laughing, holding each other, absolutely comfortable in the aftermath of everything.

Finally, I drew back far enough to take a good look at him, my fingers brushing a stray lock of hair out of his face. "So… round two?" I joked, raising an eyebrow.

He grinned. "Maybe after a nap.

[spirit-lanterns]

I feel like. The majority of the Androids won’t have compatible parts of you know where I mean. There’s like. Literally nothing down there. Like a Barbie. And maybe. There’s an Android that ends up with Engineer that can get into her online stuff (computer, relevant accounts, etc) to order relevant parts. Maybe someone who can hack(?) if they know how to because it’s their original job before ending up with Engineer. But I don’t think we need to even go that far because it probably would be relatively easy to get Engineers password to her stuff from even just peaking over her shoulder (because Engineer doesn’t care enough that they’re looking, she doesn’t know this particular Android is self-aware, or both).

Cause I feel like, as an android engineer, she would have places to get parts from in cases where she needs to replace damaged ones.

And maybe she tends to always have lots of new parts coming in/ordered, she might not even notice the stuff the Androids snuck in to her next order.

Maybe a couple of Androids tend to help her sort through new shipments and put stuff away (cause there’s a lot) so they’re able to make off with their sneaky order without Engineer knowing.

It would be funny if they could figure out how to install the parts themselves (I’m sure there are online guides/how-to’s SOMEWHERE they can follow cause there’s no way there isn’t) (and maybe Engineer has an Android who’s job is also within the engineering realm so that makes things easier) but… it would be funnier if it’s harder than it looks cause Engineer makes fixing up the Androids seem easy.

Maybe they struggle with figuring out which tool would work for each one of them. Maybe there’s a specific tool/equipment that they need to use that Engineer would DEFINITELY notice them using and it’s not like. A small wrench they can make off with for a couple of hours.

It would be funny if they ordered the obvious parts but didn’t order the things that would actually make those parts attach properly (screws, etc. I’m not an engineer. I’m just yapping over here) or something. It would be funny if what they did order wouldn’t even work anyways without serious modifications to their current model (which basically means there’s better pieces that’ll go to how they already are. They don’t actually have to make huge adjustments. They ordered a size small shirt when they’re extra large, if that makes sense).

When Engineer inevitably finds them with their pants down (literally, mind you), surrounded by just a mess of parts and tools she’s like “what are you doing”

A: “Um-“

E: “Those won’t work.”

A: “What do you mean they won’t-“

E: “Those parts don’t even install correctly for your specific models.”

A: “Eh?”

Engineer isn’t even questioning about the… specifics of the part functions (right now, anyways. Once she’s out of ���Engineer mode’, her brain will catch up to what she’s seen) but more of the installation.

Cue Engineer ordering the actually right parts and installing them herself. Face straight while doing it cause she’s in engineer mode and Not Thinking About It.

This is 100% a “and this is why we leave the installation and maintenance work to me” situation. It’s kinda like androids: no thoughts, head empty, engineer: the smart one (until the Androids get their hands on her. then it reverses).

Don’t bother figuring out who’s the girlfailure in this AU, Angey. Cause it’s all of them.

WOWIE. This is a very detailed and long ask, I’m pretty impressed :0

Anywho, it’s hilarious that the Android women want to fuck the Engineer so bad, they order additional “parts” (mechanical penises and vaginas) off the Engineer’s card and try to assemble it themself to surprise her. 😭😭

Unfortunately for many of them however, many of them lack the expertise in Android engineering, as they have no clue how to attach said parts to themselves without complicating things further. The only Android I can think of that would be pretty good at assembling their own parts, would be Serval. So now I’m imagining Android! Serval trying to teach and direct all the Android women on how to attach their new genitals, so they can surprise the Engineer when she gets home.

Well, things don’t go as planned because once the Engineer comes home, she just sees the Android HSR women sitting on the floor and various counter tops with their pants off, different mechanical parts scattered across the room with only Serval having successfully implemented her mechanical genitals on her own. The Engineer then proceeds to attach each and every woman’s parts correctly, and walk them through on how to do it if they wish to swap out in the future for something else.

She’s not even embarrassed because she’s entered “work mode” while attaching everyone’s parts, so the gravity of the situation doesn’t hit her until she gets in bed that night. And that’s when she realizes; “Oh my god. My Androids are planning to fuck me.”

I applaud the Engineer’s dedication to her craft, though 😅

[candeathbereal]

Astro observations

Sister signs are the funniest to look at sometimes, because much like sisters there will be the similarites. For instance, Leo and Aquarius are both cocky asf but you know what the difference is between them? Idk if it's just the leos I've met or what but they will say they don't care what others think of them and yet when you say something about them all of the sudden they in their feelings. I can say this as a leo rising too cause bitch, no puedo mentir....if you talk about my looks I might feel some kind of way lowkey. Mostly because it is one of those things that I take seriously about myself so it feels really odd when someone who (in my opinon) doesn't look as good as me and disses me on the way I look...I'm going to be acting (with a lack of better words) like a bitch. I think this is why I get along with libra placements so well because I swear if a libra calls you ugly, you know they can say that shit with no worry of pushback. Like have you see libra placements...motherfuckers rule Venus for a reason (taurus are also pretty but it is definitely different if you know what I mean, I jsut wanted to point that out since Taurus also rule Venus and I didn't want any confusion). Moving on what I wanted to point out is that Aquarius (at least from the ones I've met) honestly don't seem to care. Like I think depending on the placements of the person it could change some stuff up but overall most Aquarius I have met in certain things say they don't care and they won't. Like if you say shit about something they don't care about...they simply won't really react as opposed to thier sister sign leos (fire signs can't help it, it is me I am the fire sign).

Literally Leos it's okay to care about shit...like own up to it. It's better than contradicting yourself. And yes ranting a whole bunch about something does count as caring about it. I'm sorry to break the news to you (i know breaking news people care about things). I do wanna repeat that this is based off my own personal experience as a leo rising with my sun in aries (17 degree) and my venus in the fifth degree (if you don't know those are leo degrees), so I am calling myself out a bit when I wrote this.

Moving on, I might write more about the sister signs in another post

Is it just me or are a lot of Pisces suns I've met happen to be left handed? Like I assume being left handed and a Pisces is one of the biggest coincidences I have experienced in my life. It's even funnier cause I remember meeting a person who was ambidextrous and they had a Gemini sun, libra moon, and a Pisces mars. I asked them if they were left handed and just had to learn how to write with their right hand (apparently left handed is connected to Satan or something like that) , but actually they just decided to write with their left hand as well because it felt more balanced to them. I find it funny because of the whole thing of doubles in these three signs. Gemini= Twins, Libra= Scales, and Pisces = two fish.

Alright final thing, mercury in the fifth house in synastry is definitely a moment to experience. It is one of my favorite house overlays in synastry from usually being one of the most fun conversations I have had with someone with this overlay. Generally speaking air house overlays with mercury is great but something about the fifth house really goes for me. I want to assume it's because my fifth house is in sag and I already have a ninth house stellium natally plus a sag mars. Plus my Aries mercury is helpful in this as well but ehh.

Anyways I would love to hear you guy's thoughts, or even any suggestions on what I should talk about next.

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well! So, in G1, there is an episode where four Autobots ended up briefly turning into humans, called Only Humans. That episode was fun, but sadly, there were too much actions and not enough bots experiencing common phenomenons of a human body, which would have been SO fun! So may I request a similar scenario with TFP Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bee, and Bulkhead? But this time the times where they stayed humans were longer than that G1 episode, and during the time these guys got to experience all kinds of human body experiences like hiccups, goosebumps, throwing up, falling inside of their sleep, strung by mosquitoes, and maybe even a cold, so on and so on. And tbh I just want to know who do you think would be the ones to freak out ant goosebumps (think that bugs are crawling under them) and who would be the one to think that a 39 Celsius fever + a nasty throw up is probably normal for human body and no cause for concern? And to make this funnier I ask for a random unlucky Autobot to actually got to suffer from motion sickness (ironic, since they used to be cars themselves, and now they can’t even ride anymore without feeling like dying), and another to be truck by a tough cold/flu and had to suffer through unfamiliar symptoms like coughing, sneezing, chills, and stomach aches, and another to find out they have nasty allergies of a random kind and effect (these can all be more than one if you are feeling evil)

but of course the three kids are there to help them through this tough time— not without occasionally making fun of them a bit tho.

you can do this either in a story telling form, where you write out a whole entire story chapter, or the bullet point list regarding how different the reactions of everyone would be.

YEEEE! This request was fun to do! The bots are going to get the 'whole' human experience.

Hope you enjoy!

Human Buddy and the Kids helping turned humans Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead

SFW, Platonic, mentions of puke, Human reader

TFP

Relic accident. Enough said.

The relic, as it turned out, had the capability to turn anything of Cybertronain origin into the organic version of it depending on the planet it was on.

That was how the charges found their guardians on the floor looking dazed and confused.

Thank goodness they had clothes on.

After further inspection from Wheeljack, they all got the news.

The good news this was all temporary, they would turn back when the effects wore off.

The bad news was that this was going to last for entire week.

Which shouldn’t have been a problem… if some of them didn’t get sick.

Oh joy…

Ratchet

The Cold.

Ratchet was fine for the first day, though he was constantly complaining about the work that still needed to be done.

It was the next day that the symptoms came up.

Buddy and Raf are the only ones who manage to convince him to lay down and rest.

“Please Ratchet, your sick and need rest.”--Buddy

Ratchet trying to pass Buddy but Raf steps in front of him.

“Do it Raf!”--Buddy

“Do—cough—what?”--Ratchet

Puppy Dog Eyes activated.

“Please?”--Raf

“… fine.”--Ratchet

Buddy high-hives Raf before helping him back to his bed.

His immune system was new to its surroundings, easier for illness to sit in.

Worse that he was older than the other as well.

He was much more vulnerable to catch simple things.

Most of the bots and recently turned humans are worried about Ratchet’s health when he started sleeping more. But June and the others reassure them that Ratchet’s going to be fine.

Ratchet wants to work, but the kids and Buddy don’t let him.

Jack and Buddy oversee Ratchet’s temperature and basic medical supplies.

Buddy does their best to explain to him what is happening to his body, for reassurance.

Miko plays him classical music for once.

Blame it on the pitiful sick look on his face.

He expected some loud rock music but found it surprising when Miko began playing the keyboard softly.

Its an almost foolproof way to get him to sleep fast.

Raf sat by him telling him stories and helping him eat his food.

This wasn’t his best experience, but he certainly has much more respect on human biology and for the kids now.

Ratchet now has a mini human well-care kit in his habsuite.

Optimus Prime

The Hiccups.

Optimus was just trying some of the different waters the kids had been recommending.

“And what is this one?”--Optimus

Optimus already starting to drink.

“Sparkling water.”--Buddy

Optimus stops and looks at the water horrified.

“Why are you looking at it—OH! Wait Optimus its not ‘sparkling’s’ water is a type of water with minerals!”--Buddy

Optimus puts the water down but swallows the water in his mouth.

“Human’s drink minerals? As in the deposits?”--Optimus

“… I’m not explaining this one. Raf! Your turn!”--Buddy

Then they heard the sound.

Optimus was surprised to hear it.

Then he made it again.

He looks a bit disturbed.

He wasn’t voluntarily making the noise it was just coming out of him just like that.

Jack and Miko try to explain what hiccups are.

He gets a bit more disturbed yet intrigued.

This wouldn’t be so bad… if that noise would stop trying to interrupt him from talking and making his chest go bump!

Raf suggests ways to get rid of them.

They all go through the list until they reach the last one.

Scaring him.

They knew it was going to be a tough one, Prime wasn’t scared easily.

But Buddy had an idea.

A very dumb idea.

Optimus was talking to Jack when he noticed Buddy leaning on the railing.

He was a bit on edge seeing them so casual near the ledge.

They sat on top of it.

Then began tittering backwards until half of their body went to the other side.

Optimus is running to Buddy’s side trying to stop them from falling backwards.

Buddy just hung from their ankles looking up at him with a smug smile.

No more hiccups.

Problem solved.

He does try and scold Buddy for the recklessness… but he is also glad the hiccups are gone.

When Optimus turns back to normal, he insists to Agent Fowler to have better rails in the base.

Arcee

The Mosquito bites.

Oh, Jack had warned her about these little guys.

And now she knew why the kids were complaining about.

She wanted to eradicate every single one.

Arcee trying to squash some of the mosquitos with her hands.

“Why!”-Arcee

SMACK!

“Won’t!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“These!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“Things!”--Arcee

SMACK!

“Die!”--Arcee

SMACK!

SMACK!

Buddy and Jack already dosed with repellent.

“Felt that.”--Buddy

“Yep.”--Jack

The two humans fist bump while watching Arcee fail to smack another mosquito.

With some heavy rain, some had managed to get into the base. There weren’t many, maybe four, but they were enough to leave Arcee’s arms and legs littered with little bites.

The kids did get bitten too, but not as much as she did.

Arcee did try to use the repellent, it didn’t do anything for her.

Buddy and Miko help put anti itching cream on her, but she wants to scratch them all so bad.

When she thought they weren’t looking she would begin to scratch furiously.

Arcee didn’t know that her skin would show that she had scratched. She freaked out a bit when she scratched a bit too hard on one and it started bleeding.

Raf and Jack clean and disinfect the scratch which welcomes her to the pain of antibacterial spray.

She swears that it was the most painful thing she had to endure yet.

Raf decided to decorate the little scratches with band aids so she would scratch them.

When Arcee turns back to her normal self, she is relieved.

She has much more respect for the things humans have to do daily.

Will never tell Jack to suck it up when he has a mosquito bite again.

Bumblebee

The Motion sickness.

Oh, the Irony.

Bumblebee was a fast muscle car before!

He shouldn’t get sick when going over 15 miles per hour!

Now he was getting queasy in riding with Smokescreen and Buddy.

He feels awful.

Sweaty

Clammy hands

And something feels like something is trying to crawl out of his throat.

Bumblebee looking a bit pale as Smokescreen makes another sharp turn.

Buddy looks at Bee.

“Hey Smokes, you mind rolling the windows down a bit?”--Buddy

“Why?”--Smokescreen

Bumblebee groaning.

“Unless you want to see what the inside of a humans stomach holds, I suggest you open up the windows.”--Buddy

Windows immediately roll down.

Bee sighs with a bit of relief as the wind rolls past his face calming his stomach.

At first the two thought it was Smokescreen crazy driving that was making him sick.

But that wasn’t the case.

Buddy Bee and Raf were inside Ultra Magnus and he got queasy there too.

Magnus was one of the safest and slowest drivers on the team.

It was just him.

Bumblebee refused to leave the base after they came back.

He’d rather hang out with the kids on the couch and play games with them than go outside in another vehicle.

When Bumblebee returns to normal, he is so thankful the queasiness didn’t follow him.

He is now much more attentive to the kids when he is driving now.

His subspaces now have barf bags, just in case.

Bulkhead

Throwing Up.

All Bulkhead wanted to do was have the full human experience with Miko.

He went with her to a monster truck rally that Buddy had managed to get tickets to.

“Wow! I can’t believe you got us ticket to the rally!”--Miko

“Me neither!”--Bulkhead

“No problem, guys, just enjoy yourselves.”

“I mean I tried booking these babies in advance, but everything was booked or too expensive. How did you get the tickets?”--Miko

Buddy simply starts drinking their soda.

“Buddy?”--Bulkhead

“What you don’t know, don’t hurt.”--Buddy

“What?”--Bulkhead

“What?”--Buddy

The trio bought all sorts of junk food and sodas.

He found himself enjoying the time at the rally.

Everything was good.

Until he got back to base.

He suddenly became pale and sweaty.

The next thing Bulkhead knew, he was staring at a trash can with a bunch of mushy stuff with Buddy and Miko on either side of him.

Buddy had some of the mushy stuff on their arms, while Miko was rubbing his back gently.

The mushy stuff did stink a lot.

He felt something come out of his mouth and spew it into the bin, once again getting it on Buddy’s arms.

Bulkhead tried to apologize but it was hard to catch his breath.

Turns out a whole lot of junk food and soda was not good for you after all.

No matter how good it tasted before.

He doesn’t want to touch food while he is like this.

The kids try introducing him to lighter foods so he can at least eat something while his stomach recovers.

He likes the different kinds of broth they bring in.

When Bulkhead returns to normal, he asks Miko to stash barf bags in his interior.

He wants to have them just in case the kids need them.

Has so much more respect for them.

Will slap someone in the head if they mention to the kids to get it over with while their stomach is not feeling good.

[theemporium]

[1.5k] steve is on the hunt for the girl he’s fallen in love with via the love letters she’s been shoving into the scoops ahoy tip jar.

.

Steve Harrington was no stranger to love notes. 

In the height of King Steve’s reign—and even the years before that in school—he had lost count on the amount of notes he would find slipped into his locker, his notebooks or even passed to him in class. It was admiring, in some sense, but if he was being completely honest, they were nothing special to him. 

Not really. 

Then, things had changed and King Steve was no more, and even if Steve didn’t mourn the boy he was during the reign, he did sometimes miss the attention. He missed the way girls looked at him like he was actually worth something, like he wasn’t just some dude who peaked in high school and now worked daily shifts in an ice cream parlour wearing blue shorts and a stupid hat. 

Except, that was exactly what he was and there was no denying it. He couldn’t change it and, if he was being truthful to himself, he wouldn’t change it. Yeah, he missed it but he wouldn’t ever exchange what he had now—the people he had now—for any of that. 

Never in a million years.

Maybe that’s why the first note hit him so hard, because it was so damn unexpected and for a moment he felt like he was getting the best of both worlds. The mix between Old Steve and New Steve that he craved so badly.

looking good today, sailor boy, i really like what you did with your hair :) -a very happy customer

The note had been stuffed into the tip jar and he hadn’t noticed it until the closing shift, when he and Robin were splitting the profit and they noticed the squared paper tucked between notes and coins. He couldn’t help but grin a little as he read over the note again and again, tucking it into his pocket when Robin started to tease him. 

It didn’t even occur to him that it was a love note until he found another one in the tip jar a few days later. 

you’re funnier than people give you credit for, sailor boy. thank you for making me laugh -a very happy customer

By the third note, Steve had become addicted. At the end of each one of his shifts, he would grab the tip jar and make a beeline to the staff room where he would empty its contents and scour the pile on the table for a note with your familiar handwriting scrawled over a sheet of torn paper.

“No note today, lover boy?” Robin’s voice sounded from the doorway as she made her way into the room, watching as the frustration grew on Steve’s face as he rummaged through the coins and notes but found no new note. 

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

“You got one yesterday,” she pointed out like he wasn’t completely aware of that fact. “I think you’re getting greedy now instead of being grateful for what you have.”

“But it’s Wednesday,” he muttered with a hopeless sigh as he began his third search of the tip jar’s contents. “She always comes on a Wednesday.” 

“Yeah, but she came yesterday.” 

“But she always comes on Wednesday!”

Robin couldn’t hold back her snort. “God help us, you are a lost cause, doofus.” 

Maybe he was a lost cause, and maybe he was getting greedy but Steve couldn’t help himself. He kept every single one of the notes he received, tucked into a very messy pile in one of the cupholders in his car but it made him grin at the end of every shift when he got to shove another one in. 

And it wasn’t like he had tried to catch you in the act, because he did. He had tried multiple times, he had tried multiple tactics. Hell, he had even gotten Dustin involved to see if they could try to put a name—or at least a face—to the person leaving him the notes. 

you should smile more often, it makes you look prettier, sailor boy -a very happy customer 

p.s. I saw your little friend you hired to catch me, nice try :) 

“How did you not see her?” Steve exclaimed dramatically.

“How do you not see her every day?” Dustin retorted but it did nothing to stop as Steve let out a heavy sigh, hands on his hips with that same disappointed look on his face that made the younger boy squirm. 

“I don’t get how she keeps getting away,” he murmured, although it was almost like he was thinking out loud. 

“What’s the big deal anyways?” Dustin asked, watching his older friend with curious eyes. “It’s just some girl. Surely, you can get any other girl you want.” 

“But I want her,” Steve whined like a young child not getting what they wanted.

Dustin frowned. “Why?” 

Steve gave him a helpless shrug before he spoke. “I don’t know, she just–” he paused for a moment before he continued. “She’s different. She sees me differently.” 

you’re a lot smarter than you think, sailor boy, it’s honestly kinda hot -a very happy customer

“She sees you differently?” Dustin repeated incredulously, his nose scrunched up.

“Yeah,” Steve replied with a dumb grin on his face as he nodded. “She does.”

“God, Robin was right, you are a lost cause.” 

So, of course by dumb sheer luck, the one day Steve wasn’t actively attempting to find a way to catch your identity just happened to be the same day he found out who you were. 

It was a somewhat slow day at the parlour, the mall not quite buzzing as it usually was but that was bound to happen with the Fourth of July fair starting up earlier this week in set up for the big day that same weekend. Most kids were dragging the parents out towards town instead of the mall, and the slow day meant Steve was stuck doing general restocking, shipment deliveries and admin stuff that usually didn’t suck all that bad when he had Robin. 

Except Robin had bailed out on her early morning start so she could catch an extra few hours of sleep, which left Steve alone in the shop to deal with everything. 

He was meant to be in the back to sign for the delivery that would be arriving any moment now, but realised that he had left his staff ID by the cash register at the front. It was a Tuesday, and Bobby was always delivering on a Tuesday. The dude was a stickler for staff IDs and proof for reasons that were beyond Steve’s knowledge, but it was a pain in the ass and a hassle he would rather not deal with. 

He was just about to push the door towards the main shop when he paused, the door opened a crack so he could look out into the shop and that’s when he saw you. 

Now, Steve had seen plenty of pretty girls in his lifetime but none of them seemed as gorgeous as you did. You were so pretty that Steve didn’t want to look away, not just yet. But the piece of paper you were shoving into the tip jar had quickly drawn his attention and the boy was left gobsmacked and frozen in place as he watched you scurry off, like you were just another shopper in the mall minding your own business. 

He knew who you were now. 

And god, if that didn’t make his heart feel like it was going to beat out of his chest, then he didn’t know what would.

Steve had mulled over it for a few days, trying to work out what to do with the information he had been seeking since he first received the love letters. A part of him contemplated just confronting you when he next saw you in the shop, but that felt a bit aggressive. He also contemplated flirting with you the next time you came in, but he knew he would take one look into those pretty eyes and would be left speechless—only embarrassing himself and ruining any chance he had with you. 

Then, acting out on a whim and complete spontaneity, the perfect opportunity arose when he saw you walk into the parlour on Friday afternoon, dressed in a cute sundress and sandals with sunglasses pushing your hair out of your face. 

It took Steve a solid thirty seconds before he could even process anything around him. 

It was the most difficult thing he had ever done, acting completely normal to you like you were just another customer, like he didn’t know you were the damn author behind the love letters he had grown to cherish. 

But it was worth it when he hid in the back, peeking through the small crack of the door as he watched you frown a little at the napkin wrapped around your cone, slowly opening the tissue to see writing sprawled on the note. To see the blush grown on your cheeks and your smile widen to look all pretty and giddy. 

what are the chances a sailor boy like me can take a pretty customer to the movies this weekend? I’ll even wear the hat if you like it that much -sailor boy

Yeah, you were definitely worth it. And now that Steve had found you, he didn’t want to let you go.

.

[bomber-grl]

[jealousy head-canons]

Pairing(s): Damian Wayne x Gn!reader (no specific pronouns)

A/n: hope u like it :)

He pretends he isn’t jealous when rlly he is

Honestly I imagine two scenarios for this gremlin

Either he doesn’t get jealous whatsoever and thinks it’s beneath him

Or he gets totally jealous and denies it, again, because it’s beneath him

Ima go w the second one

So I don’t think Damian’s ever been jealous of anyone before

Why would he? Everyone else is beneath him and he’s way better

Well he’s also super competitive

So imagine when he sees you hanging w this super attractive person , giggling and laughing

And all of a sudden he finds himself thinking “what’s so funny about what they’re saying anyways? I’m way funnier 🙄”

No you’re not but it’s ok pookie

(I imagined the “cause less than 20 feet away from me was juli,my juli” sound 😭 idc if it’s kinda cringe)

Anyway he isnt rlly confrontational when it comes to the other party right away, either that or w you

He automatically does a background check on the person and finds out a bunch of shit about them

It goes two ways from here

He,1 doesn’t care cuz they’re lame and average or 2 he gets even more jealous and goes for the kill

Not actually, he doesn’t want what happened last time to repeat itself)

Anyway, he goes up to you and hangs w u like usual

Except it isn’t like usually cuz for some reason he’s pouting and glaring daggers at you

Then u bring it up

Like Damian, honey, why tf u glaring at me bitch?

Anyway

It takes so much for him to spit it out but u end up coming to the conclusion without him ending up telling you

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?” You practically yell this once it hits you, full of surprise and a teasing tone

Damian starts blushing profusely denying it

Claiming its “beneath him”

As I’ve already stated he does

But once you start poking and prodding he ends up admitting it and says u shouldn’t hang w them

😭oml

U end up teasing him but also babying him

Which truthfully, makes things even worse but it’s ok

U promised to drop it temporarily in order for him to spit more things out

Totally worth it until a week later u nearly get punted by Damian for bringing up his jealousy in front of Tim of all people

U got a scolding from him saying “[your name] why did u bring that up in front of tim of all people, you know our history😒”

Like ok sassy 🙄

Yea, he gets jealous pretty easily if the person is attractive and fairly impressive

Not that this tsundere would ever admit it

———————————————————————————

A/N : coming up next is is Damian Wayne x jealous reader where the roles are reversed 😇

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Writing a character that hates Hobie is funny cause like

- he's the most unoffensive guy if you yourself are not a jackass. If you think his attitude is shit its more than likely coming from you. He's so agreeable if you have a sense of humor

So NOT liking him is so fucking weird that it's comical to think about

What's even funnier though is

A character that Hobie DISLIKES TOO.

Cause that's a FEAT in and of itself!! Like imagine him being like

Looking at them mumbling under his breath 'Bloody fucking hell this tosser. Had enough of this bastard the last time.'

WHAT COULD YOU EVEN DO?? TO JUST BE GENERALLY UNLIKEABLE TO HIM.

Like imagine he's not even trying to irk them or make them dislike him. He doesn't even try to irk Miguel. But for some fucking reason this one person just rubs Hobie, the chillest coolest guy, the wrong way.

He just doesn't fuck with them. Can't hang. Won't vibe.

They just don't mesh and they know it.

And Gwen and Pavitr being like ???? Why?? Did they do something to you???

And Hobie's like 'nah.' ITS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT THEM

Maybe they're materialistic but not greedy, pissy but not aggressive, judges people by the way they look - but not physically, just their choice in outfit and if it's in season for the style being attempted.

Like someone not harmful and not entirely awful but fucking irritating. One of those people oh fuck here comes this guy fuck we made eye contact

Them just hating each other. Not even frenemies.

Like they're in the same room together and they don't see anyone because they immediately start arguing about nothing. They don't want the other looking at them. Conversations short and tense and fuck, for no reason.

One of them saying something and the other looking around like-

Cause the other person just said some CRAZZYYY stupid shit but they're not gonna get into it cause talking to the other person is exhausting and they know it.

The other person looking at Hobie like 'What's so funny?' / 'Was I talking to you?' / 'No, but you were laughing.' / 'Actually I was bloody fucking silent - you're off it - you must be hearing things-'

Hobie seeing them heading over and sucking his fucking teeth like 'What do you WANT m8 PISS OFF pleeasseee'

No romantic attraction, no ending up in bed, not even platonic attraction. Actually... they're just completely repulsed. Like magnets but ..the wrong way.

They hate each other and it does not improve over the course of knowing each other they just find new things that irk the fuck outta them and they don't know why

I wanna see that. Imma make something for that. Imma do it.

[spextr1m]

Enemies to Lovers with... Joker aka Ren Amamiya!!

A/n: I wrote this at 6 AM yall

Contains: MASSIVE spoilers, ew Kamoshida, Shido's a shit, Reader being dense ANNND a simp

GN! Reader (Referred as "You" later "They/them")

-You're confused.

-When they gossiped about the new kid and referred him as "Punk kid" you imagine him being more scarier only you've met a timid dude with a criminal record, you like the rest would've get intimidated and stay away from him.

-Not to mention, Kamoshida gives you an ick especially what he did to girls

-Everytime Ren tries to approach you, you either flinched or ran away because you're worried that he'll rat you out to Kamoshida.

-After Kamoshida's heart changed, you're also 100% confused about Kamoshida so you'd think that it has to be a joke that there's no way someone is capable of changing hearts like admitting the crimes.

-The more Phantom Thieves have more members the more you're even more surprised (Although you secretly envies that you want to be part of them).

-You got this thinking, does Ren felt the same as you or...

-Nope, it's definitely one sided while you're scared of his reputation but he just teases the hell out of you.

-When he approaches only you squeaked which he finds it amusing.

-Of course, Ann will knock your sense out that Ren's more than the criminal

-"How am I supposed to know??" "He didn't do wrong!"

-You're also type of person who freaked out when Ren's gaze is so intense that your soul exits your body which also freaks out others about your shenanigans.

-But why's your heart beats so fast when it comes to him?

-Guess Ann's words struck on you.

-Ren will spend his time with you if you let him and show who he really is, so you accepted it bit reluctant. However you're shocked that he shows his different side to you, you're now convinced that he's innocent and Ann's influence cause you to become more opening to him.

-The more you spent your times with him, the more your heart beats so faster so bad that you want to kiss his grinning face but worries that he's not gonna like you back.

-But if you're in Metaverse, of course the dude will PROTECT you like a knight.

-Ironically Phantom Thieves adopt you and you're closest to Ann

-Of course you confess your confusing feelings to Ann that when you like his voice because it's soothing to hear unlike Morgana Crowds blocking their own thoughts then you wish that you want to help him so sooner if it weren't for Shido.

-Of course, Ann will help you out and now proud that you're accepting him as a person.

-Only you accidentally blunder that Ren is so pretty and looks handsome especially his grinning face to wipe it out to your other friend yk what's funnier

-He actually heard it.

-"I knew you like me so sooner." You notice a shadow towering you which makes your other friend nudging you out of "Way to go dude, you confessed your love to him" which you look at him with a biggest grin you've ever seen in your life.

"Damn it I thought I was sneaky!" Their face now have red dusting and their hands lightly balled fist, oh boy you're now redder than the usual.

-And yes, you two are now a thing because he stole your first kiss by kissing your lips (with consent ofc)

-You ended up defending him when someone threatens you about you dating a criminal.

-When you see him being badly beaten up, you're so worried that you want to punch someone in the face.

-Ever since Shido's now in bars, he's now freed man which you can't help but to cry in tears with happiness that your wishes.

[kookidough]

random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

[witchthewriter]

𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

a/n: thank you to the person who requested! Hope this lives up to your expectations xx

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ        

𝑨 = 𝑨𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Fred is absentmindedly affectionate. His mind is always thinking; coming up with new ideas - about business, jokes, pranks, etc. And when he gets like that, he doesn’t realise what his body is doing. Fred will play with your hair, your hands, draw circles on your back (which turns into drawing the plans on your back). 

He’s completely fine with PDA (not around his mum though). But he particularly likes to show affection when he’s around Ron, just to annoy him. 

𝑩 = 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 (What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?)

𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚:

Your humour. He loves that you can join in on his jokes and the fact that you find him funny is especially important to him. He always asks, “but I’m funnier than George, right?”

He also loves your courage and intelligence. 

But also your chaotic nature

𝑷𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚:

Your smile. Hands down, he loves the way you smile - especially when you’re feeling a little mishcevious. There’s a special way your lips quirk upwards and he knows you’re thinking of causing a little chaos. 

𝑪 = 𝑪𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔 (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

HE. LOVES. TO. CUDDLE. Such a little baby when he doesn’t get a proper cuddle. Especially when you’re leaving, he’ll pout his lips and do the puppy dog eyes (will whimper a lil as well). 

  He also loves cuddling on the lounge and in bed. He’s literally such a sook. Definitely the type of boyfriend/husband to lay his head on your lap and have you stroking his hair. 

𝑫 = 𝑫𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

It’s difficult to explain, but this man ... can never settle down. He may marry you, and yes he wants kids, but he also has big ideas and wants to chase whatever inspires him. 

With cooking and cleaning, he’s actually really bad at it. George picks up after them both, especially when their mum is in a bad mood. 

𝑬 = 𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 (When something is bothering them, how do they act around you?)

Depending on the severity of the problem, Fred is pretty good at letting things go. If there’s been an argument, he doesn’t hold grudges or take things to heart. He’s very good on brushing things off. His humour will always shine through, no matter how full on the situation is. 

𝑭 = 𝑭𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒆 (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think Fred would be a bit more hesitant about committments. Marriage would be a subject that George teases him about but deep down he knows that you are the person for him. I have a feeling that marriage would end up being an issue but it would be resolved after Molly has a talk with you (because you refused to talk to Fred). 

𝑮 = 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆 (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚: I’m sorry but Fred ... isn’t that gentle emotionally. His humour askews his vulnerability. And he finds it hard to open up, so he hides beind his jokes and pranks. 

𝑷𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚: Of course he treats you with respect, and that means that he’s physically gentle with you. But he can be very excited, and forget that he’s incredibly taller and much heavier than you are - so he would definitely jump on you and then you’d be yelling for him to get off you because you’re being squashed. 

𝑯 = 𝑯𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 (Do they tell you about their childhood? Their trauma? The sides of themself that they keep hidden from the world.)

God, Fred’s trauma .... it’s hidden behind walls of pranks, neon signs and flashing lights. Fred hates talking about his feelings and in particluar, his negative emotions. 

It’s almost like you get snippets of his trauma (that he doesn’t see as trauma). George will be the one to bring up particular memories and remind Fred of how horrible it was to experience that. 

Basically, you get the information through George. And when you try to bring it up with Fred, he kinda shrugs it off. “No big deal, love.”

𝑰 = 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It wasn’t until George asked Fred if he’s said “I love you,” that he even thought about it. Since that moment, Fred was really awkward around you. It took weeks for him to open up about the fact that he didn’t know if he should say it or not. 

    “Just say what you feel, if you aren’t ready, than don’t push it,” you had told him. After that he calmed down. It took another 2 months before he ‘officially’ said it. 

𝑱 = 𝑱𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒚 (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Says he doesn’t get jealous, but when other people show you a certain type of attention...then he gets very jealous. Not a full on, territorial jealousy, but one where he makes the other person seem insignificant and small. He cracks jokes at their expense and you end up nudging him because he usually crosses the line. 

𝑲 = 𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔 (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Fred’s kisses always leave you with a smile on your face. He likes being cheeky and playful with the way he kisses you. He might twirl you around and dip you towards the floor, and give you a little smooch. Or kiss you upside down and disappear (apparating). 

𝑳 = 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 (How are they around children?)

George is much better around little children, but Fred connects more with young teens. He says it’s because ‘they can understand my jokes,’ but you think it’s because he feels like an older brother again. 

𝑴 = 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 (How are mornings spent with them?)

Between Fred and George, Fred was the last person to go to bed and the first to wake up. In the mornings you’re the one who puts on the kettle and makes some toast. Fred is yawning, as he barely gets any sleep, but is still writing down theories and ideas. 

𝑵 = 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 (How are nights spent with them?)

Fred has a desk covered in drawings, scribbled down ideas, post-it notes, scrolls of parchment and a patch of dried spilled ink. That’s where he is a lot of the time, surprisingly. He wants to get down all his ideas and he can get lost in his mind sometimes. 

𝑶 = 𝑶𝒑𝒆𝒏 (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Very slowly, there’s some things that you’re still getting to know about him. At first he didn’t open up because he didn’t want to scare you away, but then you found yourself nearly begging for more information about him, and he just shrugged his shoulders because he never really thought about the deep stuff. 

𝑷 = 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 (How easily angered are they?)

Not easily angered at all. It takes a lot for Fred to be angry. It’s mainly if someone makes you uncomfortable or puts you in danger, that’s when he gets angry. It’s actually a really scary sight.

𝑸 = 𝑸𝒖𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒆𝒔 (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

...He doesn’t remember the little details about you. But he knows what’s important, and what you love most. He may not remember every single family member, hell, he forgets his own family members, but he always knows what kind of gifts to get you. 

𝑹 = 𝑹𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Fred’s favourite moment in the relationship was when you pranked him. It took months. You enlisted the help of all your friends, to make Fred thinkyou were a twin yourself. That was your aim, to make him think you had a twin all. this. time, and he hadn’t noticed. 

Even Molly got in on the prank, originally Ron suggested that you make Fred you were cheating on him but you all thought that was too dark. 

𝑺 = 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Fred likes to make you feel safe. He didn’t realise how important that was to him until your relationship was official. Making sure his partner feels comfortable means a lot to him, and when you’re uncomfortable - even when he’s not there - he wants to know why, how and who made you feel that way. 

And then he will absolutely embarrass the f*ck out of that person, under the guise of ‘oh it’s a joke’. 

𝑻 = 𝑻𝒓𝒚 (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

You didn’t know this for a while, but George was behind the ideas for a lot of the dates, anniversaries, gifts etc. Even if George has his own partner, he absolutely adores you and wants you to be with his brother so badly. So he always makes sure that Fred knows that an anniversary is coming up etc. 

With everyday tasks, he isn’t that great at them. And no please don’t be disappointed! Because it’s actually Molly’s fault. She had all those charmed items to do tasks, and she only nagged her kids rather than showed them how to do things. (I don’t hate Molly, not at all, but I can see how she could be a bad parent.) 

𝑼 = 𝑼𝒈𝒍𝒚 (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

We know that Fred can take jokes too far, and at times he can be a bit insensitive. It isn’t until he sees a person��s reaction to know if what he did was ok. (Possibly a sign of autism???) 

𝑽 = 𝑽𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚 (How concerned are they with their looks?)

More so than George! I think Fred would definitely use a charm that Ginny taught him where the user’s hair falls perfectly. (During the golden trio’s search of the Horcruxes, I can so see Ron telling Hermione of the charm and her reaction is just throwing a book at his face). 

𝑾 = 𝑾𝒉𝒚 (Reasons why they love each other)

Fred loves you because you understand him. You’re more than fine with him being in the spotlight (he loves it there) and understand that he has an innate need to create and pursue his ideas. 

𝑿 = 𝑿𝒚𝒍𝒐𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆 (What’s their song)

Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino.

𝒀 = 𝒀𝒖𝒄𝒌 (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Close-minded, stoic people who can’t take a joke. He thinks people like that are a waste of space, and you have to remind him that everyone is different. And just because someone doesn’t understand his jokes doesn’t mean he’s not funny. 

𝒁 = 𝒁𝒛𝒛 (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)    

Surprisingly, it’s actually quite difficult for Fred to get to sleep. That’s one of the reasons why he’s the last person to fall asleep - some could call it insomnia. He just has a lot of thoughts 

[lennsart]

Hello all, remember that one time I lost my mind over a very badly translated french Zelda Encyclopedia ?

Remember how I said there'd be a part 2 ?

Did you think I had forgotten about it ?

Well you're right. I very much did.

But I remembered now, and I am not done screaming. This book personally insulted me, alright ? It pretended to be a useful tool to feed my obsession and was actually only pain.

And fun, I had to admit. Turns out that correcting it with my sister has been perfect enrichement for insane Zelda fans. We sighed a lot and shouted even more.

(But honestly, it's a bit sad how bad the book is. Like, were the translators so rushed that they made it with a bad internet translator and didn't double check ? Or did they just cared so little ?

Ok, my funnier theory is that they paired one guy who was lazy and knew fuck all about LoZ and one guy who was decent at their job... And only let the first guy do the final proofread.)

But anyways, case in point, here are my evidences !

And if you thought last post was long, wait 'til you see how I realized I don't have a 10 pictures limit on computer :]

Firstly, a thing that made me laugh as I saw the pictures I gathered for this very serious case is the clear gradual lack of respect me and my... Research Partner had for the book :

There's a "sticky notes" era, a "pencils 'cause we aren't gonna waste so many sticky notes at worst we'll erase" era, and a "we don't give a fuck anymore get the markers out" era.

Last time I divided the mistakes in three categories, "Lore mistakes", "Translation mistakes" and the dreaded "What the fuck mistakes". They are... Inegal, to say the least, but let's keep this system !

Translation Mistakes

And I mean it in the sense that "the french translation have different names and stuff than the english one and this book ignores them", not in just general translation... Because if you go that way, this entire book is a translation mistake !

But here we go :

Little details, but they left "Koroks" written this way when the french version is "Korogus", they left "Impar" (the character from Twilight princess) when in french her name is, well, Impa, they left "Mia" for the name of the remlit when it's "Miou"...

As you'll see along the way, my research partner got very mad at the book and wrote a lot of funny comments. Here you can see that next to where the book says that the river zoras "become violent", she wrote "not all zora" in all caps, which I find hilarious.

And she's right ! Don't badmouth Echoes of Wisdom Dradd, he's a cool dude !

Here, the book pretends that the kikwis all have sort of teas as their name. English reader, I hear you get offended : "The book is right !"

NOT IN FRENCH IT'S NOT ! Here, kikwis have herbs inspired names, not tea.

Well, I was going to make a joke about "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DRINK PARSLEY OR BASIL TEA ?" but apparently they exist, so. My bad. Can we still agree that these are not types of tea ? There's tea with parsley, but the parsley is not the tea, right ?

(Just for fun, our kikwis are named : Basil (for basil, shocker I know), Jasmi (for jasmine), Pirsel (for "persil", parsley), Romar (for "romarin", rosemary) and Lorion (probably for "laurier", bay leaf. This one is less obvious so I'm not sure)

So here it's a little worse than the other times because in the text, they used the literal translation of "The Imprisoned" from Skyward Sword, except in the title they used the correct french name, "the banished".

They really said : Here's a description of le Banni ! He's called le Prisonnier.

WHY

Ok so this one is a little funny to me, bear with me alright ?

In Phantom Hourglass, one type of enemies are the Phantoms in the Ocean King temple, right ? Well, Phantom in french (literally AND in Zelda, wonderful) is Spectre.

Alright ? So what do the book say about Phantoms ? That they are Fantômes. Fantôme is a word that is phonetically the exact same as Phantom, see ? But it means ghost. Not phantom.

(I mean, they're synonyms, you know ? So phantom kinda means ghost and fantôme kinda means spectre, but It Is Not The Translation in the game so it makes it worse)

Actually, it was funny, but as I explains it it makes me a little mad. It was one google search away...

URGH and it's just the same thing again, yes technically the literal translation for "Triforce of Power" would be "Triforce de la puissance", but is it what it is in french ? NO, IT'S TRIFORCE DE LA FORCE (strength). I was alright with random characters name getting mispelled, but FUCK THIS ENCYCLOPEDIA, THIS ONE IS LITERALLY IN MULTIPLE GAMES LIKE EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT LOZ YOU KNOW THAT AT LEAST

All of these are details, but damn Zelda Encyclopedia, I know I'm insane about these games so maybe it's not that deep, but you're writing for the french fans, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WRITE THE FRENCH VERSION OF THINGS

Whew, ok, this is starting to annoy me I feel, so let's change subject, why not ? Here are the :

Lore Mistakes

There are not a lot of them, but they made me gesture widely at the book trying to form a sentence that, if I had managed, would probably have been "Where the fuck did they get that from ?"

Which means that there's a possibility that it's right, but seeing this bitch's track record, I'm going to assume it's not.

Here are pictures of Kokiris, what is the description ?

"Since they're the Hylians' descendants, they look a lot like them."

Since

WHEN ?

Like, genuinely, help me there. Am I the problem ? Are the kokiris supposed to be descended from the Hylians ? And if they are, where is it cited ? I literally almost completed Ocarina of Time for the second time and cannot remember it being hinted at anywhere. Like yeah, they look alike, but aren't kokiris separate forest spirits ???

The tone of the book also annoy me, like "since they're hylians' descendants", as if it was common sense. SIR I PLAY THESE GAMES SINCE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD A CONTROLLER WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFO FROM

It's making me question whether I'm stupid or if it's just bullshitting me right now !

This one is a graph about the different worlds in LoZ. My problem here is that... Well, firstly, my problem is that there is the Sky and the Skies, but I guess that this is like... TP Sky and SS Sky, maybe ?

The real problem is that between these two categories they put "Minish World".

Minish World ? You mean, like, Hyrule ?

...Ok, I'm jesting, they probably mean Cloud Tops and the Wind Tribe. But in that case... Say that ? They make it sound like all the Minish live in the sky ! Precisely between two versions of the sky !

Are minish angels...? No, better question. ARE MINISH OOCCA ??

This one annoys me greatly for several reasons, but I'm going to be so so brave about it :

As you can see, it's a representation of the LoZ Timeline, with two games highlighted : Link's Awakening and Phantom Hourglass. It's because this is talking about when Link goes in adventures in parallel worlds.

So firstly, fuck Majora's Mask, right ?

And then, the thing I have underlined is saying that those events happened in "both case after Ganon was slayed".

See how they say Ganon and not Ganondorf. See it, 'cause I'm not going to make any comment about it because it's nOT THAT IMPORTANT

Quick reminder : Ganondorf got defeated but Hyrule was left destroyed in Wind Waker (third branch of the timeline). Ganondorf's plans were foiled before he had time to do anything in Majora's Mask (second branch of the timeline).

You know where Ganondorf didn't get defeated ?? IN THE FIRST BRANCH OF THE TIMELINE. THE ONE WHERE LINK'S AWAKENING IS.

Really, why go out of your way to say that if it's Not Fucking Correct ? This book wakes up some kind of ancient wrath in me that should only belong to children whose snack got confiscated in school !

Ok, as I said earlier, there aren't many lore mistakes, but that's good because they are the ones that makes me question my sanity the most. Let's go to the category you're probably waiting for :

What the fuck mistakes

Starting with a tame one, but :

This book is incapable of saying the word "regent". It is literally saying, for both Hilda and Midna, that these "princesses" are the "queens" of their kingdom.

No they're not, they're princesses, you just said so, IT'S NOT THE SAME GODDAMN TITLE !!

So this one almost made it to the translation mistakes, but it's in the 'what the fuck' ones simply because it's so poorly translated that I'm not even sure what they originally meant.

It's talking about Spirit Tracks' Tower of Spirit, and you can read "Sparkling trains are activated thanks to the gathered energy."

Excuse me,

Sparkling Trains ?

My guess is that they're talking about the tracks, but even then, they're not called "sparkling" ? And if they're really talking about the tracks, they're then talking about the Spirit Tracks. You know, the ones the game is named about ?

Then, a question : WHERE THE FUCK DID "SPARKLING" CAME FROM.

In the same style, but this time I simply hated it too much to put it in Translation Mistakes : Remember the Fused Shadows in Twilight Princess ? Well in french, they're called Shadow Shards.

What do they call it here ? "Melted Shadows". Not fused, not shards, I'm losing my fucking mind

As I have written on my sticky note, this one is a very disrespectful one. Ciela, the fairy from Phantom Hourglass, has the same name in french and in english, but somehow they still managed to write "Chiela".

Why is it so disrespectful ? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE "SHIT" IN FRENCH. SPECIFICALLY, IT SOUNDS LITERALLY LIKE THE SENTENCE "SHIT HERE". CIELA IS A PRETTY NAME, DAMNIT

Actually, it annoyed me so much that I went out of my way to show that thIS BOOK KNOWS HER NAME ! THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES !!!

JUSTICE FOR CIELA !! FUCK YOU, FRENCH ZELDA ENCYCLOPEDIA !!!!

Honestly, it's funny to me now that these first pages had sticky notes. Ah, the good time from when I still had a slither of respect for this book...

Here, it just describes every Light Spirit from Twilight princess with animals : "goat, monkey, butterfly, snake". Firstly, they don't look exactly like animals, secondly...

Butterfly ?

I mean, Eldin has always looked like an owl to me ? Ok, the wings are vaguely butterfly-shaped, but it has a body and a face ?

Was Eldin a butterfly all along ? Am I going insane ? (ok yes I am, but reader, do you really see Eldin as a butterfly ???)

Oh ok, so now we just don't translate anything anymore. Remember how this isn't the first time this encyclopedia does that to me. You're right, why bother, I STILL HAVE TO FACT-CHECK THE BOOK ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE IT AS IT WAS IN ENGLISH.

You know what else we could do ?

Leave actual mistakes in the book ! Let's forget a whole ass word in a sentence ! And why stop at random words ? Let's not proof read the title of the games ! Twillight Princess with two Ls ! What's next, MINISHIP CAP ??

(I said last time I'll never get over it, well, I didn't)

I think on my first post someone commented that the LoZ offical books weren't very accurate to begin with, and I hear that... But I still think there's a difference between accuracy and whatever the fuck this encyclopedia has going on

I spared you (and myself) some longer paragraphs that would have been harder to translate, but I swear to god it sounds like it hasn't been written by a human sometimes ! It's like they just put the whole book through a translator, and then went back to ADD some more mistakes ! I genuinely don't understand how an official product can be that bad !! It is hilarious, but also I want to bite through it sometimes.

I hope at least you enjoyed watching me lose my mind again ! It is fun to share how bad this book is, and I have to admit I had good laughs out of it. We haven't even attacked the items list yet... I'm scared ! But if I find atrocities, I'll report them here too.

(Maybe in like, 6 months, but I will !)

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

Thinking about James/Remus and seriously questioning why it's not a thing cause

1) the whole sun/moon lore I was talking about earlier

2) their shipname would be somn like "moonchaser" or "sunreader" or somn

3) it fits right into the running gag that James has a thing for people being mean to him

4) imagine all the possible angst mhmm mhmm Remus pining over James, finding out he likes his best friend, finding out she likes him back, losing him again and again ooooohhhhh just

5) but they're also perfect cause all Remus ever needs is to be loved and all James knows is to love someone else

6) ok but leave the angst, focus on the fluff. The possibilities omg friends to lovers just this time (minus all the usual angst that comes in wolfstar) and they're both just dumb oblivious idiots in love and it's so cute

7) thinking about all of this now I think what you said is right, people don't ship Remus with anyone other than Sirius but I think that's cause Sirius actually doesn't have many ships left then? Cause think about it like this: Sunreader, Bartylus, Marylily, Evan and Emmeline, Panda and Xeno, where does that leave Sirius? Sure Pete is there but...

8) ooooh ok going down this pipeline, for your consideration: Peter and Sirius. Omg it would make the "Sirius put in trial instead of Peter" thing sooooo much more ansgty ohhoo my brain is reeling rn

9) ok focusing back on moonchaser. They would make such a cute couple honestly. James would read all the books Remus reads and leaves lil doodles for him to find later. He would go to all the quidditch practices he can to support his bf. And he would right poetry and stuff about how hot James is.

10) ohhh They would share glasses omggg poor Remus grows up thinking everyone has shit vision then one day he wears James's as a joke and voila the world in HD

I'm so ngl, your influence on my brain has become on the best influences it has ever had cause omg all this potential all this angst and fluff I love this new me mhmm mhmm

hsirbdij omggggg I love this sm!!! thank you for sharing your brain with me.

sunreader sounds so gorgeous. I'm going insane. I love love LOVE the name!

1) yeah are literally the sun and the moon! they are perfect!

3) lmao. so true. I love the idea of remus being super sarcastic towards james and james swoons at every mean comment and tries very hard not to (he fails miserably)

4) urghhhhh not the unrequited feelings while having to be a supportive bestie trope (my beloved). I can imagine how mad it drives remus to watch them like each other, but being to scared to admit it. imagine the heartbreak when remus sees harry alias the combination of his parents

5) yesss. remus needs someone to love him even through all of his flaws, someone who isn't his parents and james who is literally the embodiment of love

6) "everyone can see it, but them" trope fr. it's them idfk

7) you make a fair point, but there are sooooooo many characters living in the marauders characters that no one ever uses. you could ship sirius with so many characters that no one ever talks abt (I'm currently working on a post with all the characters that I could find so that they're all in one place)

8) peter and sirius my loves <3 no one talks about them (me included whoops-). they have such a big angst potential that people just seem to be ignoring (once again bc most people refuse to leave the wolfstar bubble and just refuse to ship peter with anyone in general)

9) they would be the definition of tooth rotting fluff. they would make everyone sick with how sweet they are. couple goals fr

10) remus is me fr. the day I got my glasses was eye-opening lmao

glad to see that I have this kind of effect on people. I said it to you before but I'll say it again: welcome to the way more funnier side of being a multishipper hehehehe

also: I think I'm in love with you. marry pls, I'm begging 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 (/j... unless)