#She cares for Data so much;;;
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Being in a data governance class makes it so weird to watch the shit that tech giants are continuously pulling. I see them mass data scraping for AI training and I'm like. But Wait. What about GDPR??? Hello??? User privacy and right to access/correct/delete??? I know that's an EU thing but other places have their own data protection acts too!!! And they're pulling these moves that communicate such flagrant disrespect and irresponsibility for the handling of user data.
In the IT courses I've taken, they've taught us something that's really stuck with me: "Just because we can doesn't mean we should."
My data governance professor keeps emphasizing that as IT personnel, we will need to have a much higher sense of integrity than most other fields bc we have access to SO MUCH SHIT. IT and tech industries are so under-regulated bc of how relatively new it all is and how slow the law moves. But people in charge of handling user data should keep in mind that this is data about Real People, and capitalizing off of it is a violation of privacy.
But tech giants don't care. They'll keep poking and prodding, trying to capitalize off of users' data in order to earn as much money as they can. Data regulations like GDPR exist, but they don't cover everyone, and tech giants are more of "Do First, ask forgiveness later". Or in this case, pay the fines later. Bc if they violate GDPR, they Will be paying fines. And maybe they'll even change the way they handle the data... for EU citizens.
The rest of us are fucked tho. Tech giants really don't care. They just view us as assets to profit off of.
#speculation nation#just thinking. i kinda hope my data governance professor brings this up on Tuesday.#i want to hear her thoughts about it.#but yeah im entering into a field that will grant me so much power within my organization(s)#thats where the integrity really matters on a personal scale. bc im not gonna end up running any tech giants.#but i Will be one of the IT guys who can access like. everything? in a company.#maybe not everything everything. depending on how well the company has their data system structured.#access controls and what have you. hopefully an average IT person wont see like. highly classified data and whatever.#but in a lot of companies IT ppl can just do Whatever.#another thing she taught in my data governance class is how to spot warning signs for insider threats.#aka ur fellow IT workers. or even just normal employees who arent following safety protocol as they should.#aactually it's wild how much of data privacy rides on the integrity of those involved.#kinda scary. people behind the scenes in the tech world have way too much power.#and so many of them dont treat that with the care that it deserves.
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update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore
now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week
#personal#and i have a working computer that's finally on windows 10 so that's one less thing to have background stress about#and i have a working phone for the first time in.. a year? 1.5 years? idfk. my previous phone was 16gb so i could fit like 2 apps#could barely take pictures (and couldnt store them) and couldnt update most of my apps because i couldnt update my os because no space#so every app ran slow and then eventually my phone would crash if i opened the storage section of the settings#so i couldnt even offload apps so i could delete them while keeping the data for when i downloaded them again#couldnt order medicine remotely because my chemist only lets you do that from the app (not the website)#couldnt control the aircon because that could only be done through an app#missed loads of stuff because i didnt have email notifications because i could only use my browser for emails#couldnt see tumblr polls on mobile because i couldnt update tumblr because i couldnt update my os#left the house less because i had to delete pokemon go and that genuinely helped me go for walks#ive been dealing with all that for a year so this is very exciting and such a ridiculous qol boost#it sucks how much something like that affects your life. what do you mean i need an app for everythingggg#but god im just glad peach is ok. like there was a moment when i was so stressed trying to update my computer because it wasnt working#and then she ate a small bit of food for the first time in 3 days and just. everything was suddenly fine again#and the other night i spent like 6 hrs just sitting here downloading and installing things on my computer#but it was fine because peach was on the chair next to me sleeping through the whole night and it was such a relief#my sister finally got her flight yesterday (after it was moved four days in a row) so that's just one less thing happening#ive started playing bg3 so that's cool and maybe ill get a chance to actually properly watch that new dav trailer lmao#that premiered at 2am on the first night peach was home from surgery and hadnt eaten or slept yet and i was too stressed to care about dav#and it really just went downhill for the next few days#god. ok. today is the first day i can actually breeaaaathe
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Some more concept designs but this time for two guys I’ve never talked abt before oops
#keese draws#rain world#rain world oc#iterator oc#rw iterator#rain world iterator#these two are still mostly in the brainstorming phase but I do enjoy them#they share a structure and are also the worst <3#and by that I mean after the mass ascension they eventually start doing some mafia shit#synch started developing ways to carry out construction and repairs and such to the twos structure along with some renovations#the big one being to join the twos chambers so they can actually physically interact#and this gave light some ideas of ways to make sure the two would have access to enough resources to thrive long term#so they and synch worked together to develop different ways of transporting goods and supplies long distance mostly through organisms#and eventually as their fellow iterators began to slowly break down light started offering synch’s services to them#they’d use the chance to get all sorts of data scraping software into other iterators along with all sorts of other shit#and they’d use their newfound leverage over these iterators to blackmail them into giving up their resources for them and synch#often times at the threat of direct structural sabotage that they would follow up on if the iterator didn’t comply#synch is vaguely aware of the stuff that light is doing but doesn’t rly care that much since she rarely talks to other iterators#synch just wants light to be happy and would let her get away with pretty much anything
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just saw a fic tagged both as a #fix-it fic (for the noncanon gay pair) and as #widowed character (implying the character's beloved canonical wife died somehow). motherfucker, spousal death is NOT a fix-it! STOP fridging women just bc you find them inconvenient for their husbands' relationship statuses!! give me lavender marriages, infidelity, miscommunication, polycules, or any other form of complex dynamic but for the love of GOD stop killing them off for the combined benefit of avoiding unconventional and/or uncomfortable dynamics and also allowing you to focus on that sweet sweet man pain in your shitty fic. the next person to do this owes every wife on earth $500
#i'm a silm fan i understand the concept of schrödinger's wife and as long as she isn't central to his character i am fine with writing her#out or ignoring an unnamed and/or entirely irrelevant cardboard cutout written by a male author who didn't care to flesh her out BUT idk if#she's unnamed or has screentime - if she literally haunts the narrative to the point that her picture is one of the last shots of the film#and the mc can't even bear to speak of missing her due to grief - SHE'S PRETTY IMPORTANT!!!#also wanna clarify i am not and will never be a wife but i feel like people who do this needs to pay whatever $500 times 2.6 billion is to#every affected woman. my calculations didn't include data on how many married women on earth married each other so wlw get a bonus i guess#len speaks#god. i really need to go get drunk and smoke one million cigarettes bc i'm so fucking agitated over a fic summary. hypomania makes me such#a mean cunt. in addition to me spending too much money being stupidly hypersexual and being unable to concentrate on literally everything i#really want to throw down. and even knowing that i'm STILL ANNOYED. but hey i've literally never left a mean comment on a bad fic so i'd#rather preemptively block and vent here. more like ramble here apparently god i need to take a shot#delete later
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omg i am translating stuff from the zesty JP script, and edna's default outfit is literally named "a girl who loves her brother" in the og japanese text 😭😭
i want to make it into a headcanon that she wanted to wear flower motifs into her attire to represent how she loved collecting flowers when e.izen took her outside to play when she was a kid 🤔 the other reason, i want to think, is maybe that flowers are elegant and ladylike, therefore tying quite nicely into her desire to be visually presented like a lady. i enjoy playing with the idea that she wanted to be like a lady in the first place because ladies are graceful and composed, something that she wanted to invoke in order to steel her own heart from being too vulnerable or open after e.izen left home. it was her own way of being emotionally stronger.
#°˖✧❀ ❛ out of offerings. ┊ ooc. ❀✧˖°#°˖✧❀ ❛ memories. ┊ headcanons. ❀✧˖°#there's an enemy data entry where she says she likes flowers and ntm e.izen's the one who named her after orchid flowers#even if he isn't there anymore at least her outfit has memories of him 😭😭 i also think she'll always wear his boots and glove 😭😭😭😭#those were hand-me-downs but she doesn't care !!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 they were from her brother !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😭#flowers are so important to her overall character and even giving a deep connection with e.izen#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#also : this is a minor life update bc i'm aware i haven't been writing as much as i should bc of this script consuming me 💀#this script has an entire section DEDICATED to earth s.iblings and any dialogue about e.izen#so i think i'll be too busy crying to work on replies this week ( re: i'm translating it rn ) too but#my drafts are skyrocketing up again so i will try to do some replies on the side when i'm not crying my eyes dry 😔
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rereading ep7 is really strengthening my willness (will illness) because everyone remembers the scene where will kisses jessica's hand but i forgot that right afterwards it says
"Will had returned the greeting in what he thought was a perfectly serious way" 😭 😭 HE DIDNT EVEN REALIZE WHY SHE WAS EMBARASSED? THIS IS NORMAL TO HIM?
#i fucking hate this guy. is the implication he didnt greet lion like that despite their equally formal greeting bc he didnt care abt -#formality at first and so Now that lion told him to be nice and polite hes doing it? and hes like See im behaving what do you want why is -#she freaking out. Whats the issue.#IS IT A GREAT COURT OF HEAVEN THING. They obviously have an old fashioned vibe and are ambiguously 19th century. (despite van dine -#being 20th century. its for the vibe i understand i cant complain.) BUT WHAT!!! DOES HE JUST GO AROUND DOING THIS????#Sorry i talk too much about him its . Its an illness. Im sorry#data#umineko spoilers#willion#willard h wright
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yall those succulents were all brown and crunchy when a friend gave them to me in june i am ao thrilled theyre so happy now 🥹🥹🥹 and BOTH my elderly orchids (their names are agatha and dorothy) are going to flower!!! dorothy has two flowering stalks coming in!!!!
#unfortunately agatha took a tumble due to my clumsiness almost immediately after this#but she will be well cared for#i love my plants so much it hurts a little#isaac clarke data log#not roach content
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Me, wanting to go for the Verda route, but having characters who would either call the agency to scrap his research, or wouldn't fail to corrupt it...
_(:l」∠)_
Fuck me for having smart characters and/or cautious characters. 😂
#emmodii rambles#emmodii plays the wayhaven chronicles#nile and vary and nigel and rosah went for the tina route... nile failed to hide it from her and vary simply let her find out#nigel managed to convince her nothing was up (because as much as he doesn't wanna risk the supernaturals... he'd rather only get the agency#involved if there's really no other choice)... and for rosah... i cant rmb if she also succeeded or if she just called for the agency ekfhks#i don't remember if delilah went to tina or verda........ but whatever she did she succeeded#like... she doesn't really care about keeping it a secret or whether or not she risks the supernaturals... but she's at least professional#what the heck did mortem do...... i forgot............#iris and ben called the agency to delete verda's stuff. iris because by default he listens to rules. ben because he can't be assed to get#in trouble... kfbekfbwk... otherwise he probably wouldn't have done anything at all#if nigel had been on verda's route... he'd know he can't do shit with computers... so he'd call the agency for help#nile would probably succeed in data corruption? think it'll also pass with high deduction... i THINK#...........vary.... honestly they knew tina would be fine if she found out. but verda? harder for them to tell... especially since his#priority is his family's safety....... so hm. wonder if they would've still let him look into it or if they actually would've tried to stop#him......... and rosah would. definitely stop him. because she's such a fucking cop. enfjksfbkwbd#putting ocs into different IFs is like making AUs. fun way to get to know them in situations they wouldn't otherwise be in
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also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.
but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]
like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.
and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']
another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]
tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want
#winston billions#a series that did inadvertently power up the stances of someone who actually is Not a fan of ableism; abuse; authoritarianism; and cetera#real winston billions fans might also get written off the series into the ether....but hey. the power up#the ''i saw the autistic character. i saw the tour de force'' was there & it mattered#myself marked glad to be A Ruinerrrrr; to like be present where other people might be aware & even say & do things & [my personality]#throw it back to the last post like my experience going hahaha >:) but you made one mistake. decade old minivan in my name#enough to Get Outta There....but that naturally if it Wasn't that Would be an avenue of punishing / reeling people back in#hey you Stole this from me. hey winston that's Stolen Time and stolen data who give a shit. it's the principle of [we own winston]#my experience also indeed getting ''''worse'''' at being abused lmao i.e. more conflict & resentment as i was increasingly aware i didn't#deserve it. no thanks to much of anything i learned in; say; interacting with others as an autistic person lmao. hmm!#meanwhile even if exploring like Winston Having Fun Being Himself it's like one thing is just. never having the Site of that be like#first & foremost An Romance lol. like even if it's like sure someone could interpret this as romantic that's like; an extra thing#and it's not The Guideline like; not thinking that for winston to be okay he Needs to get on the soulmate track#(billions does think that lol) and like. while billions says winston Has dated (i do think they meant to imply Multiple Times in 5x05#i just think we see that they usually don't care oh so much abt continuity; certainly not across the board) & that he has a crush#like then uhh yeah sure it's like. well i can readily extrapolate then that he's had abusive dating relationships.#billions does Not put forth that someone treating winston Well is where he gets the bulletproof confidence or anything lol#just cursed like again i'm not. i'm not gonna accept [wild you dropped steph into our Visuals as like 1 Confirmed Winston Ex]#but it's also like well then any Depiction would be The Perspective....not like. the abuse currently happening & in any way that is meant#to be ''''obvious'''' & ''''convincing'''' to someone w/no idea what it looks like anyways. vs the mundane ordinary parts that speak to it#or just the ways that experience & concomitant perspective could manifest outside of it even with No look inside it#running into issues like [good thing riawin didn't even hook up or that'd be More vulnerability in an abusive relationship already]#but what if they did & Montage Of Malaise? well to even brush up against inevitable more ''blatant'' things would then either be like#well immediately move Away from that then. before or after but Exit the [current] situation. Or it'd be like. rian has to Reconsider#but a) the character absolutely does not & based on everything will not. & b) if she actually Does; e.g. in a fic. well it's about her now#but i can think of ''yeah maybe winstuk fic that is also framed with bentuk b/c it's not really about Romance & if it's like sure then why#Not presume winston has experiences w/abuse & violation aplenty b/c that's the full context for the character lol it's then still like#and here's little details in which that could Manifest that would just be [??] or unnoticed to others anyways. just like real life!!''
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if you want to hold one accountable, hold the rest accountable
#very interesting data from 2022#and this is not in defense of Taylor blah blah blah#she’s a scapegoat and people are more using this for fan wars/to look morally better instead of actually caring about issues#let’s focus our energy in the right ways and right areas#screaming vitriol on the internet will only change so much#taylor swift
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ok ok I talked to a colleague and now all's good. I'm motivated af for the interview this afternoon. I'm getting that fucking job. Everyone wants me to get that job anyway. I'm done being nice now I'm letting them know they better give me that job and sign the papers in the next month else I'm quitting. Good luck with finding yet another engineer to work in the middle of nowhere when you're already struggling to hire 💅
#Mel rambles#talking to that colleague is always such a confidence boost#she used to be a high level manager and she's always telling me I'm a good asset for the company#she knows what she's talking about so I guess I can afford to be confident#It's mean but I'm hoping I can change position and the person who replaces me is less competent so that I can be like 'SEE WHAT YOU LOST?'#'THAT OTHER GUY WASN'T KIDDING WHEN HE SAID I'M MORE SKILLED THAN THE GUYS HE HIRES TO ACTUALLY BE DEVELOPPERS'#'you had a project manager who doubled as developper and tripled as data analyst and just decided to throw 9 MONTHS OF HER WORK TO THE TRASH#FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN 'we changed our mind! youpsi 🤭'#...#ok yeah it's been months and I'm apparently still very much not over it#but they really acted like bitches. who fucking does that and doesn't properly apologize. they really don't give a shit about my work#ANYWAY let's get that job and go with people who might actually care about what I do l#and do a job that I'm like. actually interested in#CROSSING FINGERS NO ONE BETTER FOR THE JOBS THAN ME APPLIES#(that's what happened last time. guy with like 20years of experience showed up. I didn't stand a chance)#anyway let's do this!! I'm confident and in a good mood now so let's gooo
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I miss my wife, Tails
I miss her a lot
#I do not have the sticks to play genshin but ;;w;; god I love jean so much she's so pretty and gallant and handsome and--#I am forcibly removed from my own blog#tbh pretty sure I'm thinking about her cause I'm sick and she'd take care of me :(#data log: personal#my dandelion knight
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Stella winced as she felt his lips softly brush her wrist and absorb her aether. It felt like her entire soul was being gradually ripped from her body, but she had to endure it with her teeth clenched. She knew Data would cease to take any more from her at the earliest sign of pain. The greater the amount of aether that left her body, the more difficult it got to stay awake. She was the warrior of light, so consequently she had plenty of it to go around, but that didn't stop the anguish she was feeling.
The Au Ra could hear locals mumbling about how insane this was, or peering at Data like he was a monster. He had contributed so much to keep the first people safe that he even went out of his way to create a home here. The second he was bitten, all of them had all but turned their backs on Data. The kindness they showed now turned to fear, thus did they start treating him like a full on Sun Eater. There was still so much good left in him. Stella only wished everyone else could see that too.
Perhaps she was native, merely delaying the inevitable, as the people here would tell her. There’s no treatment for turning into a Sin Eater, or at least nothing that anyone had found. The pink-haired woman had been seeking an answer since the moment Data was bitten. It had gotten so bad one night the Exarch had to carry the warrior to her quarters. Stella, struggled at first, wanting only to focus on finding a cure, but he persisted that she rest. It made her feel sick to her stomach how everyone was so calm about this yet seeing Data in pain caused her heart to ache.
'I know you want to assist him, Stella, but you can't do it alone. I'm here to support you.'
Those were the Exarch's last words before embarking for Amh Araeng. He was concerned about sending her off to see Data alone, but he trusted her to return safely. It was obvious that he was also very worried about Data. Condemning himself for the brunet's current dilemma. It was supposed to function as another escort mission. Data, Lyna, and a few guards were assigned with the responsibility of safeguarding the Exarch. Stella trusted them to return safely, but the agony she felt in her heart when she saw Data bleeding on one of the hospital beds.
At that moment, after Data had consumed a large amount of aether, she observed a guilty reflection in his irises. It didn't help that the people were murmuring their opinions about the situation. The Au Ra tried to reach out for Data but became disoriented. It took everything she could not to pass out on the spot. Tesleen's voice called out for Data as the brunet fled out of the area. It was at this point when Sin eaters became more prevalent, which spelled peril for her best friend.
"Data…wait…don't go…" groaned Stella as she stumbled forward, trying to grasp out to his departing body.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as the warrior began to fall backwards. Instead of her back hitting the ground, she felt two strong arms grasp her. Her vision hazy, she looked up to see the Exarch's hooded face. It was difficult to distinguish, but it appeared that he was calling her name, despite how hard that was to hear with how muffled everything was to the woman right now
"Exarch, please let go of me..It's highly dangerous for anyone to be out there alone, so I need to find him." Stella's voice broke, she was trying so hard to keep her cool but losing it at the notion of Data getting wounded or worse. He was entirely capable of defending himself, but that didn't stop the anguish from developing inside her chest.
'I cannot let you travel out there in this state, Stella. Any Sin Eater miles away can pick up your aether.' The Exarch spoke as he held Stella close. Despite her best efforts, the Au Ra could feel the world turning dark. The Exarch lifted her carefully and carried her to a nearby cot. He laid her down before taking the injured wrist and kissing it. Even without seeing his eyes, it was clear he was beyond worried about the warrior of darkness.
'My Lord… Data shouldn't be out there alone,' Tesleen said, concern visible in her eyes. Aside from them, she was one of the few people that still cared about Data. It didn't bother her that he had been bitten by a Sin Eater. It was the same young man who had aided them so many times before.
'Tesleen..I'm concerned as to what transpired here. I can surmise how Stella got this way, but I need someone who was present when it happened to clarify.'
Tesleen darted a glance out the door, where Data stood alone and terrified. He needed someone to bring him back, or else the Sin Eater would take over. Everyone's process was unique, but one thing stayed constant: pain was a trigger. Some became numb to it, while others consumed it. Nodding, the woman took a seat nearby, trying to figure out how to explain what all had occurred.
Stella winced as she awoke hours later, clutching her bandaged wrist. When she looked around, she saw that she was now laying down on the bed. Where had the Exarch vanished to? She didn't waste any time in grabbing her weapons and rushed for the entrance. Only there did the Exarch intervene and put a halt to her activities.
'Stella..' As he extended out for her hand, his voice was worried. His words were soft, yet she could sense his emotions behind them even without seeing the Exrach eyes.
"I'll be fine…he's my best friend…I need to bring him back." Her tone was compassionate, yet she spoke with the same conviction she always did. The warrior let out a surprised gasp when she felt her body being pulled towards him. The Exarch grasped her face gently, almost like he were grasping a precious treasure.
'Return safely, both of you.'
Stella took a step away from the Exarch, smiling sweetly before turning and sprinting out into the desert. Unknown to her, the leader of Crystrium felt his heartbreaking, yet again he had to stay behind while she fought for this world. This time it was to save Data..if anyone could bring him back, it would be her. It was obvious to everyone just how deeply she cared for the other. Hand gripping the staff, he reached up and touched his chest. Holding back tears at, her form retreated into the desert. Hours had passed since Data had fled, so any traces he had left behind would be completely and swiftly covered by now. Fortunately, the warrior knew him well, and recalled that he only went to a few places around here.
Data please..don't go where I can't follow...you are not a monster.
#— ❛❛ // DATA MOCHI ¦ Tempered Light ・ 「 diademreigned sin eater au」#— ❛❛ // STELLA CAELUM ¦ our hearts endure and remain forever strong ・ 「 Threads」#She cares for Data so much;;;#THis au gives me so many feels sorry about the wait on this dear..
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#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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😵💫😵💫😵💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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my boss just said ‘manifesting this for us’ in the group chat and she’s being 100% serious
#in case this wasn't obvious i love her#she's literally 65% of why i joined this company if you don't include the fact that this is the exact type of work i want to do#we're really really close on a deadline#the second version of something took 54 mins to write a file (literally just that one function) which we only made bc [vendor] sent the#wrong data and we caught it in time to ask for new stuff#but they were taking forever getting back to use so we adjusted to run without their wrong data and that's the one that took 54 mins#but now just an hour before the deadline they updated to the right file soooo depending how much they sent this week it's like...#right on the line of may or may not be done in time#so that's the long version#if you read this congrats and if you don't care sorry but i needed to share and I also need sleep and to shower#also to not be working this fucking late every wednesday#personal
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