#Self confidence must be something fun
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a-timely-problem · 1 month ago
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Slowly realising that in order to get into a relationship I probably have to ask someone out but I am also very much afraid of rejection. I love it here.
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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 2 months ago
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Thank god Sasha was confirmed bisexual, otherwise people would hc her as lesbian solely and exclusively because she's kind of a bitch.
#like it's a stereotype at this point. happy bubbly character HC'd as bi or pan. weird almost alien-esque character HC'd as ace/aro/aroace#skinny depressed sadboi man HC'd as gay. physically stronger taller and more extroverted and confident man HC'd as bisexual#and of course. mean bitch HC'd as a lesbian#i really don't get the ''nice fun and bubbly = bisexual'' stereotype at all#like what does it meannnnn#is it meant to represent how they're more ''open'' to ''more people''??#and lesbians being mean represents ?? idk that they're more ''closed''?#also see how the fanon male gay characters are usually like sad delicate flowers that must be protected and fanon lesbians are#just more ''rough'' somewhat. or at least closed off and cold or distant somehow#''frigid'' is the word that comes to my mind (yikes)#btw I LOVE that Anne and Marcy are characterized as lesbians a lot of the time in this fandom#since they're definitely much more ''soft'' and like cutesy and sweet than big mean Sasha#i love lesbian Anne (extroverted. confident. likes playing matchmaker. super super social. local jock. quite girly when she has the chance)#and I love lesbian Marcy (soft adorable bubbly girl. surprisingly extroverted. VERY hyper. vv energetic. adorable n precious cinnamon roll)#i kinda like the idea of aroace Marcy as someone who clings to her friends so desperately because she sees them drifting away from her#and priorizing other types of relationships (romantic bonds) while she's left alone because THEY were her everything#and she gave her whole heart to them#but they never gave their hearts to her because they were waiting for someone else to give them to. a romantic partner.#something marcy could never be#but I also feel like sometimes the ''weird girl'' thing might give off alien vibes somehow (?) like she just clearly doesn't belong in this#in this world she doesn't belong to this species she doesn't experience what most humans experience#i have mixed feelings on aroace marcy but tbh i don't care enough to like. complain about people who see her that way lol#though I admit I prefer lesbian Marcy a lot more#my posts#btw one hc i really do adore is trans girl Anne. idk if it's ''too stereotypical'' in relation to her like about who she sees in the mirror#i find it so soft and sweet. how she learns to love herself. how she forms a sense of self. trans girl anne my absolute precious#amphibia
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hoshifighting · 5 months ago
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jealous!wonwoo
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— synopsis: wonwoo brings you to his friend's birthday party to finally introduce you to his friends for the first time. however, your kindness is having an unexpected effect on him.
— WARNINGS: smut, jealousy, possessiveness, slut shamming, penetrative sex, rough sex, creampie, mentions of blood, cum, a lot of dirty talk, dom!wonwoo, jealous!wonwoo, kind!reader.
it's changkyun's birthday, and you stand in the midst of it all, your fingers tracing the rim of a cold drink, feeling a little out of place but excited nonetheless. it's your first time meeting wonwoo's friends, and he's been talking about them for weeks, making you feel like you've already known them forever. he was thrilled to finally introduce you, the person who’s captured his heart, to the people closest to him.
wonwoo’s been glued to your side all night, smiling proudly as he watches you effortlessly charm everyone around. he loves how gentle you are, how kind, and he was confident you'd get along with everyone. that’s why he fell for you—because you make things easy, even the hard stuff. but now, as he stands talking to jihoon, something feels off. he can’t quite pinpoint when it started, but a weird knot's been forming in his stomach.
“so, y/n,” changkyun grins, rolling up his sleeve to show off a fresh tattoo on his forearm. “what do you think? it's still healing, but i think it turned out pretty dope.”
you lean in closer, eyes widening in appreciation. “oh wow, that's amazing! i've been thinking about getting one for ages but never had the guts to go through with it. you must have a high pain tolerance,” you laugh, lightly brushing his arm with your fingers.
wonwoo’s eyes flicker over to you, catching that moment. something about the way you’re leaning into changkyun’s space, the genuine interest in your voice—it rubs him the wrong way. 
he tries to focus on jihoon’s story about a songwriting mishap, but all he hears is the distant hum of voices. he can't help but feel a pang of something—jealousy? possessiveness?—as he watches you interact so easily with his friends, especially changkyun.
“yeah, it hurt like hell, but it was worth it,” changkyun chuckles, glancing over at you. “maybe you should get one too, then we could be tattoo buddies. what do you say?”
you laugh, a warm sound that feels like home to wonwoo, but now it’s mixed with an unfamiliar sensation. “maybe i will,” you say playfully.
wonwoo feels a strange twist in his chest, like something fragile and delicate is being tugged at. he knows you’re just being your usual sweet self, but seeing you get along so well with changkyun, someone he’s always been close to, brings out a protective side he didn't know he had. he doesn’t like this feeling—this weird, prickly sensation crawling up his spine. it’s not like him to feel insecure, especially around his friends.
he tries to shake it off, but it's like an itch he can't scratch. “hey, y/n,” he calls out, trying to keep his tone light, “come over here for a sec. i wanna introduce you to jihoon properly.”
you turn towards wonwoo, catching a glimpse of the slight tension in his eyes. you can sense something’s off, but you don't want to make a scene, especially not tonight. 
you nod and give changkyun a quick smile. “sure, be right back,” you say, walking over to wonwoo and jihoon.
“everything okay?” you ask quietly, searching his face for a clue.
wonwoo smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. “yeah, just wanted to make sure you were having fun. it’s a lot, meeting everyone at once.”
it doesn't take much for wonwoo to feel uncomfortable again. even as you chat with jihoon, he can't help but feel a flicker of unease. jihoon's quiet personality, paired with your genuine curiosity, makes wonwoo's insides twist.
he knows you're just being gentle, like always, but that's the thing—everyone likes it. not just him. and that thought gnaws at him, despite knowing it's irrational.
he tries to brush it off, but the more he watches, the tighter the knot in his chest becomes. the final straw comes when jihoon leans in closer, discussing something that makes you laugh, your eyes crinkling at the corners. without thinking, wonwoo excuses himself and heads straight for you, an unfamiliar urgency in his step.
“hey, can we talk for a sec?” his voice is calm, but there's an edge to it you can't quite place.
you glance at him, noting the tension in his posture. “sure,” you reply, excusing yourself from jihoon with a polite smile. wonwoo leads you to a quiet corner of the room, away from the prying eyes of his friends.
“what’s up?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light, but the atmosphere feels heavy.
“let's go home,” he says, avoiding your gaze. the abruptness of his request catches you off guard.
“home? already?” you echo, genuinely surprised. “but it's still early, and we haven't even had cake yet.”
wonwoo shrugs, his expression unreadable. “i just... i think we've been here long enough.”
you can sense something's off, but he's not giving anything away. it feels strange, leaving the party so soon, especially when everyone seemed to be having a good time.
and while he tries to mask it, you can read him like a book. deep down, you know he's somehow mad. 
the car ride home is silent, tension thick in the air. you try to ask him what's bothering him, but he brushes it off, offering vague reassurances that everything's fine. it's frustrating, his refusal to communicate, and you decide to push him—just to see how far he'll go, denying what's clearly eating at him.
once you both arrive home, you kick off your shoes and head straight for the bedroom, ignoring his attempts to engage in conversation. his eyes follow you, growing more intense with every step you take away from him.
 the silent treatment is intended, a way to force him to confront whatever he's hiding. wonwoo stands in the doorway, watching as you busy yourself with trivial tasks—checking your phone, removing your jewelry. the longer you ignore him, the more palpable his anger becomes.
“y/n, can we talk?” his voice is low, barely containing his frustration.
you continue to avoid his gaze, feigning interest in your phone. “about what?” you ask, your tone almost dismissive.
that’s all it takes. 
something in wonwoo snaps, the last remnants of his patience fraying. in two quick strides, he's in front of you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you close. the sudden movement startles you, and you drop your phone, eyes widening in surprise. his grip is firm, not painful, but enough to let you know he's serious.
“stop it,” he growls, his voice laced with an unfamiliar edge. “stop pretending like you don't know what's going on.”
you blink up at him, “i don't know what you're talking about,” you say, but the slight quiver in your voice betrays you.
wonwoo's eyes darken, a dangerous glint flashing in them. “don't play dumb, y/n. you've been doing this all night—flirting with my friends, acting like it's nothing.”
your breath catches in your throat, caught off guard by his accusation. “i wasn't flirting,” you protest, but the words feel weak, even to you.
“oh, please,” he scoffs, his grip tightening slightly. “don't give me that innocent act. you know exactly what you were doing, batting those pretty eyes, laughing at their jokes. you loved the attention, didn't you?”
you feel a flush of anger rise in your chest, but before you can retort, he pulls you even closer, his breath hot against your ear. “you're such a fucking slut,” he whispers, the words dripping with venom. “enjoying every second of it, making me look like a fool.”
his jealousy, his possessiveness, it's intoxicating in a way you can't quite understand. and he knows it too, sees the way your breath hitches, the way your body reacts to his words.
“is this what you wanted?” he hisses, his hand slipping under your shirt, fingers digging into your waist. “to push me until i snapped? well, congratulations, baby, you got your wish.”
before you can respond, his mouth is on yours, rough and demanding. it's not a kiss; it's a claiming, a punishment. he kisses you like he wants to devour you, like he's angry with himself for wanting you this much. you kiss him back with equal fervor, matching his aggression with your own, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. he groans, the sound vibrating against your mouth, and you feel a surge of satisfaction.
with a growl, he pushes you against the wall, hands roaming over your body with a frantic urgency. he tugs at your clothes, tearing them off in his haste, not caring if he rips fabric or skin. there's no time for tenderness, no room for gentle caresses.
as his fingers slip beneath your shirt, they pause, feeling the delicate texture of lace and satin. his breath hitches when he discovers the coquette lingerie you’re wearing, complete with tiny bows adorning the bra and panties. you can almost hear his thoughts—did you wear this just to tease him?
he yanks down the waistband of your panties, revealing more bows trailing down the sides.
the sight of you, so perfectly dressed to seduce, makes him want to tear everything off and claim you right there and then.
he grabs your hips, his grip firm and commanding, and without another word, he pushes you harder against the wall, positioning himself behind you. the soft, feminine bows are the last thing on his mind as he enters you without warning, rough and rigid.
you cry out, the sensation heightened by the feeling of the lingerie still partially clinging to your body. the combination of pain making your knees to buckle, and he doesn't give you time to adjust. 
“you think this is funny?” he hisses in your ear, his voice dangerous. “teasing me like this, showing off like some kind of slut?”
he doesn't give you time to adjust, thrusting into you with a punishing rhythm, his hands digging into your flesh. “this is what you wanted, right?” he grits out, his voice a harsh whisper in your ear. “to be fucked like the slut you are?”
you moan, the sound echoing in the room. he pulls your hair, forcing your head back as he pounds into you, each thrust harder than the last. it's brutal, almost savage, and yet you can't get enough. you revel in the way he takes you, the way he owns you, body and soul.
“god, you're so fucking tight,” he groans. “so wet for me, like you were just waiting for this.”
you bite your lip, trying to stifle your moans, but he notices. he always does. with a snarl, he reaches around and grabs your chin, forcing you to face him. “don't hold back, i want to hear you. i want everyone to know how much you love this.”
you can't hold back anymore. the intensity of his thrusts, the harshness of his words, it's all too much. you cry out, your voice raw and desperate, echoing off the walls.
“w-woo,” you sob, your voice shaky and breathless. 
every thrust feels like it's tearing you apart, and the sensation of his big cock stretching you is overwhelming. he growls at the sound of his name, making you feel like you're teetering on the edge of something explosive.
wonwoo’s hand slides down your body, his fingers tracing the curve of your underbelly with a teasing slowness that contrasts with the brutal pace of his hips. he knows exactly what he's doing, savoring every second of your desperate whimpers. 
his hand dips lower, and when he finds your clit, he circles it with rough, intentional movements that make your whole body jolt. the pleasure is electric, a stark contrast to the roughness of his thrusts, and it sends you spiraling.
“getting fucked like a little slut, all dressed up in this cute lingerie just for me.”
you can only moan in response, your mind too clouded with pleasure to form coherent words. his fingers work your clit with a ruthless accuracy, driving you closer and closer to the edge. every flick of his wrist sends sparks of pleasure shooting through you, and you can feel the tight coil in your stomach winding tighter and tighter.
“such a greedy little thing,” he continues, his voice a low, rumbling purr. “clenching around my cock like you want me to fill you up, huh? you want me to fuck you so hard you can’t walk tomorrow?”
his cock feels impossibly big, almost splitting you in half, and you can’t help the way your body responds, muscles clenching and pulling him deeper. it’s too much, and yet not enough, every thrust bringing you closer to the brink of thoughtlessness.
“fuck, you’re so tight,” he groans, his voice strained with effort. “gonna make me cum if you keep squeezing me like that.”
the knot in your belly twists tighter, the pressure building to a fever pitch. the world narrows down to the feeling of him inside you, his hands on your body, his voice in your ear. you know you're about to fall, your orgasm so close you can almost taste it.
“please, please,” you babble, your voice a desperate plea. “i’m so close, wonwoo, please—”
his hand speeds up on your clit, his fingers pressing down with just the right amount of pressure. it sends a shudder through you, and with a final, brutal thrust, he pushes you over the edge. 
your orgasm knocks you down, your entire body convulsing with the force of it. your walls clench around his cock, almost pulling him over the edge with you, and he lets out a low, guttural moan.
the world blurs as the tides of your orgasm continue to wash over you, your body trembling with aftershocks. you can feel him throbbing inside you, his cock twitching as he chases his own release. the sensation is almost too much, and yet you crave it, needing to feel him come undone inside you.
“cum for me,” you whisper, “please, wonwoo, i need it—”
with a strangled groan, he thrusts into you one last time, burying himself deep inside you as he finally lets go. you feel him pulse inside you, the heat of his release filling you up. 
you can feel yourself dripping as he pulls out, the sensation of his cum mingling with your own. your pussy feels almost numb, a lingering ache from the vigor of it all. your legs are trembling, barely able to hold you up as you try to steady yourself against the wall. your breaths come in ragged gasps, each one punctuated by a soft hiccup that you can’t seem to control.
 “hey,” he murmurs, his voice softening as he gently turns you to face him. “are you alright?”
you nod, though the effort it takes to stay upright makes your knees wobble. 
he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close and guiding you to the bed. as you sink down onto the mattress, the world seems to tilt slightly, your body still recovering from the overwhelming sensations. wonwoo sits beside you, his hand stroking your back in soothing circles.
“i’m sorry,” he says quietly, his tone filled with genuine remorse. “i didn’t mean to be so rough.”
you manage a small smile, leaning into his touch. “it’s okay.”
he nods, his eyes still searching yours for any signs of discomfort. “just... let me take care of you now,” he says, his voice tender. “lie back.”
“woo…”
“hm?”
“i'm yours.”
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amomentsescape · 24 days ago
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Slashers handling ovulating s/o?? 😚
Btw I love your work so much! You’re amazing
Slashers with Ovulating! Reader
Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo
Warnings: MDNI, suggestive and mature content (It gets pretty steamy but nothing too crazy)
A/N: Definitely the most NSFW fic I've posted on this page. As a reminder, I don't write smut so this will probably be as steamy as I get for my posts. But this was a fun request, and I enjoyed writing for it! Thank you, Anon!
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Freddy Krueger
Your dreams give you away
(Yes, he'll watch your dreams if he's not already controlling them; there's no privacy with this man)
And he's very interested in these dreams you've been having recently
It only takes a couple for Freddy to quickly snap
You'll go to sleep one night only to find yourself immediately in Freddy's domain
The setting and environment feeling very familiar somehow
You won't see him at first, but you'll definitely feel him around you, his voice echoing around the dreamscape
"Wanna make those dreams come true, baby?" he cackles throughout the darkness
Before you'll be able to respond, you'll feel his hand slide over your waist
The question was mostly out of politeness
He's not going to let you say no now that he has you (not that you were going to anyways)
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Michael Myers
He picks up on everything in an instant
Your smell, your actions, your voice- literally everything is screaming at him
Now, Michael has a lot of self-discipline
He could just go about the day like usual and not need to indulge in anything
But he wants to
Don't mistaken this for "giving in"
It's just another way for him to put himself in control
You're just so desperate for him that he can just about get away with anything he wants
A simple touch has you weak in the knees, a slap on the ass has you arching your back
He could just absolutely ruin you these next few days
And he is very much planning on doing so
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Jason Voorhees
Jason is fairly innocent when it comes to this sort of topic with you
But unlike Bubba, he does pick up on your teasing after a bit, he's just too flustered to do anything back
He loves the attention, but the way you're making him feel is causing him to freeze up and blush wildly under his mask
He knows you love him, but he can't understand how someone like you could possibly desire someone like him
He can't even hold eye contact with you when you're looking at him like that
When you've finally grown too impatient, you'll hop on his lap and grab his cheek, forcing him to look at you
He'll give you a big sigh and concerned eyes, silently asking if you're sure
"Jason. I want you. I want you and only you."
Those words must have been laced with magic, because a switch flips, and he's suddenly standing up, holding you bridal style
He'll toss you onto the bed and crawl on top, suddenly more confident than earlier
Looks like all he needs is a little bit of reassurance during this time of the month
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Thomas Hewitt
It might just be the primal side of him, but he can literally smell it
Your pheromones during this time of month are always consistent to the point that he anticipates this weeks in advance
He lingers around you more often than normal (which isn't saying much since he stays near you 99% of the time anyways)
He's just waiting for the moment that you'll let him take a bite
And if you bump into him just slightly, his breath hitches and he'll freeze, hoping maybe you'll turn that bump into something more
Stands a little too close to you so he can breathe in your scent
But he's also hoping it'll increase the chance of you rubbing up against him on "accident"
This only makes things worse for the both of you until you two are finally alone together
All you have to do is give him that look, and he's throwing you over his shoulder, locking you two away for the night
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Bubba Sawyer
Bubba is a very innocent man
He didn't even really know what the concept of "sex" was before you
So unfortunately for you, pulling out all stops will quite literally do nothing
You could stand there completely bare in front of him, and he'll sweetly think you want to shower
That's not to say you're constant touches and flirting don't do anything for him
They do, he just doesn't understand what that feeling is yet
When you finally get to be alone with him, you'll gently let your hands wander, watching carefully at his reactions
Once you hit a sensitive spot, you'll know
His breath will hitch and he'll give you this soft, pleading look
And once you kiss him, that fire inside him will quickly engulf his body
You just have to give him a sweet questioning glance, and he'll be feverishly nodding his head, grabbing at your wrists to continue
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Brahms Heelshire
To be honest, whether or not your ovulating doesn't really change how Brahms acts around you day to day
Because he is always down bad for you
But he does appreciate how quickly you seem to return his advances during this time of the month
He enjoys turning it into some sort of game when he can too
You'll feel his breath on your neck, only to be met with an empty room
You'll feel his gaze on you all throughout the house without a single sight of his whereabouts
When you finally have had enough, you'll break
Turning on the shower peaks his interest
And the moment he sees that first button of your top open, he's revealing himself from the walls
You've been working so hard for him today
He thinks it's time for you to finally relax
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Norman Bates
Norman knows before you do
The sweet man tracks your cycles for you, always wanting to be prepared to care for you in the way you need
But this time of month isn't one where he feels too bold
He becomes even more shy somehow, having trouble holding eye contact
Every kiss or hug from you sets him aflame, and he turns into a blushing mess
It's honestly like he's the one who's ovulating
And all you have to do is hold him for just a little bit too long and whisper in his ear to make him break
He'll quite literally fall to his knees in front of you, waiting for anything
He'll do whatever it is you ask
Like I said, he wants to care for you in any way you need
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Billy Loomis
He tries to be smug about everything
You're more affectionate than normal, even doing some PDA that he's not used to from you
He just acts like his usual self out in public
But the moment you two are alone, he confronts you
He'll pin you against the door, his free hand wandering across your skin while he looks at you with dark eyes
"You think I can't see what you're doing? It's not very nice of you to be such a tease."
His voice is barely above a whisper while his grip on you tightens
His wandering hand finds the most sensitive spot on you and squeezes, causing you to let out a whimper
He smiles in return
"You're going to have to do better than that to make it up to me," he whispers, leaning in gently
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Stu Macher
Look at this guy
He literally can't keep his tongue in his mouth (sorry, bad joke)
He can tell something is up though
You're more cuddly than usual, practically sitting on his lap at all points during the day
And Stu does not mind one bit, but he isn't sure what's gotten into you
You're hoping he'll take the hint, but he's as oblivious as he is happy
It's only when you straddle his lap and kiss him deeply that he understands what's going on
His hands are on you in an instant
He'll happily oblige to your "demands"
Just be careful when and where you decide to break though
Because the moment you open that door, Stu will be having you in that instant
And if he has to pull you into a broom closet in public to do so...
He will
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Vincent Sinclair
Despite barely seeing the light of day most of his life, he's fairly knowledgeable about everything
But unlike his brother, he doesn't really get driven up the wall by this time of the month
He just wants you to be happy, so if being flirted with and touched every two seconds is what you want, he'll happily go along with it
Even though his face feels like it's going to burn off again every time
He won't initiate anything, but he also won't say no to anything you do
Just guide his hands and tell him what you need, and he'll be helping you out instantly
He doesn't even expect anything in return
But when you smile at him just like that, his brain might short circuit
He'll be your slave if you ask nicely
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Bo Sinclair
Bo is, well, Bo
He sometimes acts like he can't tell or that he's too "deep" into his work at the moment to be bothered
But he knows
And he loves the feeling of being needed and desired
You'll come up to him, hugging him for a bit too long, your hands lingering on his chest and torso
He likes to play coy
He wants to see you break first
He'll happily make it worse for you too
Hands on your waist, a gentle caress of your neck, that piercing gaze of his
He can see your face flush and body practically tremble at his actions
But he won't do anything about it
It won't be until the end of the day when he finally comes back home to find you already waiting at the door
You about have to throw yourself onto him before that smile finally breaks out onto his face
"So impatient, aren't we darlin'? Gonna show me just how badly you need me?"
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novy2sirius · 4 months ago
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family dynamics 🏘️🚙
the 4th house can tell about the type of family dynamic u grew up around since it rules family and also is associated with our inner child ♡⃝
depending on whether ur parents were at a lower or higher vibration in life when raising u, u may not relate to some of these traits ♡⃝
the 4h sign itself can tell abt ur family dynamic, but if u want to dive deeper check the 4h lord - how to find ur house lords ♡⃝
do not copy my work - ©novy2sirius ♡⃝
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𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ aries 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then there could’ve been lots of aggressive energy as well as fighting/arguments in ur household. if u grew up in a middle to higher vibrational household then ur parents were likely very direct and assertive. they likely did not play around when u did something bad and showed a lot of tough love. one of ur parents (or both) may have played lots of sports with u growing up or made sure u were active as well. they likely taught u to be someone confident, bold, and passionate. u may have also grew up in a wealthier household with this placement because due to numerical reasoning aries is the wealthiest sign
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ taurus 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then there could’ve been lots of stubbornness from ur family members or parents growing up. they may have tried to buy u things to make up for how terrible they treated u or been a lazy parent. if u grew up in a middle to higher vibrational household then ur family dynamic was likely on the more chill side. ur parents likely let u make ur own decisions and weren’t terribly hard on u, but still made sure u were safe at the same time. they were likely patient with u and reliable whenever u needed them. with this placement u also may take a lot of what u saw from ur parents marriage into ur own relationships and depending on the type of home u grew up in this could be either a positive thing or a negative thing that u must work to unlearn. ur parents likely taught u to be a grounded and determined person
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ gemini 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then there could’ve been lots of gossip/arguing in ur household that was childish and immature. if u grew up in a middle to higher vibrational household then u were likely very close to ur siblings growing up and learned a lot from them. u likely grew up in a household with a more fun and energetic dynamic where there was lots of healthy communication between everyone. some ppl i see with this placement r raised by their siblings more than their parents. with this placement ur family or siblings and u could become well known on social media and profit off of posting online together. this placement also indicates that ur parents taught u to be someone who was rly charming, communicative, and intellectual
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ cancer 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then ur parents were probably always gaslighting and playing victim in situations where they were not the victim. they could’ve been emotionally manipulative which rubbed off on u in a negative way. if u grew up in a middle to high vibrational household then ur parents were likely very caring and sensitive toward ur emotions. this would be an ideal sign to have in this house if ur family was good to u since cancer is the natural ruling sign of the 4th house. this could mean u had a very ideal childhood as well and beautiful family dynamic. ur parents likely taught u to be someone who’s empathetic, family oriented, and super protective of the ppl u love
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ leo 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then ur parents were probably very egotistical and self absorbed. they probably yelled at u a lot. u could’ve grown up with a narcissistic parent. they probably never apologized to u and brainwashed u into thinking u were always the problem as a kid. if u were raised in a middle to high vibrational home tho then ur parents likely tried to raise u in a very happy home dynamic and did everything in their power to make u happy. u could’ve been the favorite child or spoiled a lot. ur parents likely taught u to be confident, optimistic, and to be proud of who u r as a person regardless of what others think
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ virgo 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then ur parents were probably very judgmental and critical of u, even when u did something that would make most parents proud. if u grew up in a middle to higher vibrational household then ur parents were probably very organized and did everything they could to help u become the best person u could be. they likely r very humble ppl and taught u to be humble as well. sometimes i notice these ppl r closer with their family pets than their own family tho
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ libra 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then there may have been a lot of passive aggressiveness rather than problems being confronted directly. u may have had lots of fights with ur family that got swept under the rug and forgotten the next day which over time led to more conflict bc nothing ever got resolved. ur family may have also cared too much abt looks and made u insecure abt ur appearance bc of it. if u grew up in a middle to higher vibrational household then ur likely grew up in a very harmonious and loving household. ur parents likely taught u to be someone who’s very loving, charming, and someone who seeks fairness in every situation. this also indicates having beautiful houses/homes or growing up in a beautiful place/neighborhood
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ scorpio 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then there may have been lots of aggressive, manipulative, or intense energy in ur household. this can indicate having family members that have anger issues and don’t know how to control their anger. this placement often indicates someone with a lot of family trauma. if u grew up in a middle to high vibrational household then ur parents were likely very strict, assertive, and showed u tough love. they likely were very sensitive to ur emotions and not ashamed to apologize to u when they were in the wrong. ur parents probably taught u to be very powerful, confident, and ambitious. they may have played a lot of sports with u growing up as well
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ sagittarius 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then it’s likely ur parents were egotistical and complained a lot abt u never being enough even when u tried ur hardest to be. they probably never apologized to u when they hurt u and may have said they’re just “honest”, but in reality were harsh and mean. if u grew up in a middle to high vibrational household then ur parents were probably actually honest and straight forward with u rather than plain mean. u likely grew up in a positive home dynamic and ur parents were likely very optimistic. ur parents likely taught u to be smart, constantly seeking positive growth, and probably taught u to be a positive person in general. u may have traveled a lot as a child and loved to explore/go on lots of adventures. this placement often indicates moving out of ur hometown once u become an adult as well
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ capricorn 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then ur parents may have come off very cold and may not have shown u enough love. they could’ve been overly strict at times isolating u too much and not letting u do things others kids did which made u feel rly alone. many ppl with this placement have a rough childhood which causes them to mature quickly. i’ve seen many with this placement who basically had to raise themselves. if u were raised in a middle to higher vibrational household then ur family was likely stable and put together. ur family was likely filled with hard workers which taught u to be hard working as well. ur parents probably also taught u to be very humble and have a lot of self discipline
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ aquarius 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then ur parents could’ve been absent as aquarius is the sign associated with rebellion. u could’ve been forced to be overly independent as a kid and probably had to learn a lot on ur own that should’ve been taught to u by ur parents. this can also indicate a chaotic family/family dynamic in general. there could be lots of ups and downs with u and ur family’s relationships. if u grew up in a middle to high vibrational household then ur parents were likely very unique people who taught u to also be ur most unique and authentic self without caring what others think of u. ur parents also probably gave u a lot of freedom growing up which allowed u to make mistakes and learn from them so u didn’t have to make them as an adult. this placement can also indicate switching residences a lot growing up since aquarius is associated with ups and downs
𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ pisces 4h: if u grew up in a lower vibrational household then ur parents probably acted like u were insane and they were the victim (even in situations where they weren’t) and also gaslit u. ur family dynamic could’ve caused u to want to escape as quickly as u could. if u were raised in a middle to high vibrational household then ur parents were likely very kind, empathetic, and compassionate towards u and taught u to be the same way. they could’ve taught u a lot abt spirituality and become ur most powerful spiritual self as well. u may have grown up with family members who believed in things like astrology, numerology, etc and were very artistically talented. ur family was likely very supportive of ur dreams as well
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23victoria · 5 months ago
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off the table
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pairings: lewis hamilton x fem!reader
word count: 13k
warnings: SMUT (wrap it before you tap it), toxic relationship, cheating, miscommunication, cussing, best friends to lovers, idiots in love, mentions of educational burnout, semi-double pov
authors note: listen to off the table by ariana grande ft. the weeknd 13k words is insane to me, this is the most i’ve ever wrote, i had so much fun writing this honestly, i pray it’s not shit…cause that would be embarrassing, ignore any typos please, also a little self indulgent (not all the way, trust)okay i’m done, hope you enjoy!!
want to be tagged in my works?! CLICK HERE
f1 masterlist 1k celebration
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You met Lewis when you were just seven years old. It was a typical summer day, the sun high in the sky, casting a golden glow over the park. You were new to the neighborhood, shy and unsure of yourself, clutching the handles of your bike as if it were your lifeline. The other kids seemed so confident, racing around on their bikes, laughing and shouting as they sped down the dirt paths. You stood on the sidelines, watching, wishing you could join in but not quite brave enough to take the first step.
That's when you noticed him—a boy with wild curls and a bright smile, his bike skidding to a stop in front of you. "Hey, do you want to race?" he asked, his voice filled with enthusiasm. You hesitated, glancing down at your bike, then back at him. He must have sensed your uncertainty because he grinned and added, "I'll go easy on you, I promise."
Something about his easy confidence made you smile, and before you knew it, you were racing side by side with him, the wind whipping through your hair as you pedaled as fast as you could. You didn't win—Lewis was too fast for that—but it didn't matter. For the first time since moving, you felt like you belonged.
From that day on, you and Lewis were inseparable. Every afternoon after school, you'd meet at the park, racing your bikes until the sun dipped below the horizon. He told you about his love for karting, his eyes lighting up as he described the thrill of speeding around the track, the roar of the engine in his ears. You didn't understand it entirely—karts seemed like a bigger, scarier version of your bike—but you loved listening to him talk about it, the way his passion seemed to pour out of him.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
As the years went by, your friendship with Lewis deepened. You became each other's confidants, sharing your dreams and fears late into the night. You told him about your dream of becoming a doctor, and he listened with the same intensity he showed on the track. In return, he confided in you about his aspirations in racing, how he wanted to be the best, to make his family proud.
There were moments, though, where something unspoken lingered between you—moments where his gaze seemed to linger a little too long, where his touch seemed a little too tender. But you never noticed, too caught up in your own world to see the way his feelings for you were evolving.
One day, when you were both fourteen, you were sitting in your room, studying for a biology test. Lewis had come over to help you with your homework, but you ended up talking about everything except schoolwork. "Do you ever think about the future?" you asked, lying on your bed with a textbook open in front of you.
"All the time," he admitted, glancing over at you. "I think about racing, where I'll be, who I'll be with."
You smiled, oblivious to the hint of something more in his words. "I bet you'll be famous," you teased, nudging him playfully. "I'll be able to say I knew you before you were cool."
He laughed, but there was a wistfulness in his eyes. "What about you? Where do you see yourself?"
You shrugged, turning your attention back to your textbook. "Hopefully in med school, maybe even Harvard if I can get in. Saving lives and all that."
There was a pause, and when you looked back at him, you saw something flicker in his expression, something you couldn't quite place. But before you could ask, he smiled and said, "You'll get in. I know you will."
You didn't know it then, but that was one of the many moments where he almost told you how he felt. But your casual mention of Harvard, of a future that seemed so far from his own, made him hesitate. How could he confess his feelings when it seemed like your dreams were leading you in opposite directions?
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
When you were sixteen, Lewis's karting career began to take off even more. He was spending more time at the track, traveling for races, and you were busy with school. But despite the distance, you stayed close, texting each other daily, finding time to hang out whenever he was home.
One evening, after one of his races, he invited you to a celebratory dinner with his family. You were honored, knowing how important these moments were to him. As you sat across from him at the table, laughing and talking with his family, you felt a warmth in your chest, a sense of belonging that you couldn't quite explain.
After dinner, as you walked back to your car, Lewis caught your arm, stopping you. "Hey, can we talk for a minute?" he asked, his voice unusually serious.
"Of course," you replied, a little surprised by his tone. You turned to face him, and for a moment, you just stood there, looking at each other in the dim light of the streetlamp.
He seemed to struggle with his words, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. "I've been meaning to tell you something," he began, his voice low. "It's just... we've known each other for so long, and you've always been there for me. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Your heart swelled at his words, and you smiled, completely missing the deeper meaning behind them. "You're my best friend, Lewis. I'll always be there for you, no matter what."
He looked down, a slight frown tugging at his lips. "Yeah, best friends," he repeated, his voice softer now. "But what if—"
Just then, your phone buzzed in your pocket, interrupting the moment. You pulled it out, glancing at the screen, and saw a text from a boy in your class that you'd been talking to. "Sorry, it's just Josh," you said, quickly typing a response.
When you looked back up, Lewis's expression had shifted, the vulnerability from moments before gone. "No worries," he said, forcing a smile. "I just wanted to say that I'm really proud of you. For everything."
You felt a pang of guilt, sensing that you had missed something important, but you pushed it aside, giving him a quick hug. "Thanks, Lewis. That means a lot."
As you drove home that night, you couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. Meanwhile, Lewis watched you leave, the words he had almost said hanging heavy in the air. He had been so close to telling you how he felt, but your mention of Josh had stopped him. How could he compete with someone who was already making you smile in ways he only dreamed of?
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
As you started high school, you started dating Josh. He was sweet, attentive, and everything you thought you wanted in a boyfriend. Lewis, ever the supportive friend, smiled and encouraged you, even as his heart ached every time he saw you with someone else.
He watched from the sidelines as your relationship with Josh blossomed, always there to lend a listening ear when things got tough. And when Josh broke your heart, leaving you devastated just before prom, Lewis was the first person you called.
"I can't believe he did this," you sobbed into the phone, your voice thick with tears.
"I'll be right there," Lewis replied without hesitation. Within minutes, he was at your door, pulling you into a comforting embrace. He held you as you cried, his hand gently stroking your hair, murmuring soothing words into your ear.
"You deserve so much better," he whispered, his heart breaking alongside yours. "Anyone who can't see how amazing you are doesn't deserve you."
You pulled back slightly, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. "Why can't all guys be like you, Lewis?"
He smiled sadly, wishing he could tell you that he would never hurt you the way Josh did, that he would cherish you and make you feel loved every day. But instead, he just said, "Because they're not smart enough to realize what they have."
In that moment, you realized how much you had taken Lewis for granted, how he had always been there for you, even when you didn't deserve it. But you still didn't see the depth of his feelings for you, too caught up in your own heartbreak to notice the way he looked at you, as if you were the most precious thing in the world.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
When it came time to apply for college, you were determined to go to the one with the best medical program, whether it was Harvard, Yale, Duke, or John Hopkins. You had worked so hard throughout high school, dedicating countless hours to your studies, extracurriculars, and volunteer work. It was your dream, and you weren't going to let anything stand in your way.
Lewis, on the other hand, was focused on his racing career. He had already been scouted by several teams, and it was clear that his future was on the track. You were both proud of each other's accomplishments, but there was an unspoken tension between you as the reality of your diverging paths began to sink in.
The day you received your acceptance letter from Harvard was bittersweet. You were overjoyed to have achieved your dream, but the thought of leaving Lewis behind filled you with a sense of loss. You had always imagined that you would be there for each other through everything, but now it seemed like your lives were pulling you in different directions.
"I got in," you told Lewis when you saw him later that day, your voice filled with a mix of excitement and sadness.
He smiled, pulling you into a tight hug. "I knew you would," he said, his voice proud but tinged with something else. "You're going to do amazing things, Y/N/N."
"But I'll miss you," you admitted, your heart aching at the thought of being so far away from him.
"I'll miss you too," he replied, his voice quiet. "But we'll stay in touch, right? It's not like we're never going to see each other again."
You nodded, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Of course. We'll text and call all the time. And I'll visit whenever I can."
He smiled, but there was a sadness in his eyes that you couldn't ignore. "Yeah, we'll make it work."
As the summer passed, you and Lewis spent as much time together as possible, trying to make the most of your remaining days before you both went off to pursue your dreams. There were moments of laughter and joy, but also moments of quiet reflection, as you both grappled with the reality of what was to come.
On your last night before leaving for college, you and Lewis sat on the roof of his house, staring up at the stars. It was a tradition you had started when you were kids, a way to escape the world and just be together in the silence of the night.
"I'm really going to miss this," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Me too," he replied, his gaze fixed on the sky.
You turned to look at him, your heart heavy with a mix of emotions. "Promise me we'll stay close, no matter what."
He finally looked at you, his eyes filled with a depth of emotion that took your breath away. "I promise," he said, his voice steady and sincere.
You smiled, reaching out to take his hand. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Lewis."
He squeezed your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. "You'll never have to find out," he said, his voice filled with a quiet determination.
As you sat there together, the weight of unspoken words hung between you, but neither of you said anything more. There was a part of Lewis that wanted to tell you everything—to confess his feelings, to ask you to stay—but he knew it wouldn't be fair. You had your own dreams to chase, and he couldn't ask you to give them up for him.
So instead, he kept his promise, supporting you from afar as you embarked on the next chapter of your life. You texted and called as often as you could, sharing stories of your experiences at Harvard, while he told you about his progress in racing. The distance was hard, but you both did your best to stay connected.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
College was everything you had hoped it would be. You excelled in your classes, made new friends, and even started dating again. But no matter how busy you were, there was always a part of you that missed Lewis. You missed the way he made you laugh, the way he could always make you feel better no matter what was going on in your life.
You visited home during the holidays, and every time you saw Lewis, it was like no time had passed at all. You fell back into your old routines, spending hours talking and laughing, as if the distance between you had never existed.
But there were moments when you noticed a change in him—moments when he seemed quieter, more reserved. You didn't think much of it at first, chalking it up to the stress of his racing career. But as time went on, you began to wonder if there was something more.
One night, during your winter break, you and Lewis went for a drive, just like you used to do when you were younger. The streets were quiet, the city lights reflecting off the snow-covered ground. You talked about everything and nothing, enjoying the comfort of each other's presence.
As you drove past your old high school, memories flooded back, and you found yourself laughing at the thought of how much had changed since then. "Can you believe it's been four years since we graduated?" you asked, glancing over at Lewis.
He smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Yeah, it's crazy how time flies."
You sighed, your smile fading as you thought about how much your lives had diverged since high school. "Do you ever miss the way things used to be?" you asked, your voice filled with a touch of nostalgia.
"All the time," he admitted, his voice quiet.
There was a moment of silence as you both reflected on the past, and for a brief second, you thought you saw something in his expression that made your heart skip a beat. But before you could say anything, he turned away, his gaze fixed on the road ahead.
"I've been thinking," he began, his voice hesitant, "about how different our lives are now. You're at college, I'm racing in F2... it's like we're living in two separate worlds."
You frowned, unsure of where he was going with this. "But we're still friends, Lewis. That hasn't changed."
"I know," he said quickly, "but sometimes I wonder if..." He trailed off, as if struggling to find the right words.
"If what?" you prompted, your heart pounding in your chest.
He shook his head, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "Nothing. Forget I said anything."
You wanted to push him, to ask him what he was really thinking, but something in his tone made you stop. Instead, you just nodded, deciding to let it go.
As the night wore on, you found yourself growing more and more frustrated with your inability to understand what was going on with Lewis. You had always been able to read him like a book, but now it felt like there was a wall between you, something unspoken that neither of you could break through.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
The next few years passed in a blur of classes, exams, and racing events. You and Lewis remained close, but the distance between you became more pronounced as time went on. You both pursued your dreams with a single-minded determination, but in the process, you began to drift further apart.
There were moments when you wondered if you had made the right choice, if maybe you should have stayed closer to home, closer to Lewis. But every time you thought about it, you pushed the thoughts aside, telling yourself that you were doing what you were meant to do.
Lewis, on the other hand, struggled with his feelings for you more than ever. He watched from afar as you continued to excel in your studies, as you dated other people, as you lived a life that seemed so different from his own. But he never stopped caring about you, never stopped being there for you whenever you needed him.
And though he never told you, he knew deep down that he would always love you, even if you never felt the same way about him.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Your life took a different turn when you least expected it. You had always been focused, driven, and passionate about becoming a doctor. The years of studying, the late nights in the library, the relentless pursuit of knowledge—it all felt like it was leading you toward a future you had envisioned since childhood. But as time went on, something inside you began to shift.
It started subtly at first, a creeping sense of exhaustion that no amount of sleep seemed to cure. The long hours in the lab, the constant pressure to excel, the never-ending cycle of exams and practicals—it all began to weigh on you. You could feel the burnout setting in, the stress gnawing away at your enthusiasm. You told yourself that it was normal, that every med student went through this phase, that it was just another hurdle to overcome. But deep down, you knew something was wrong.
Your friends noticed it too. They saw the dark circles under your eyes, the way you seemed to retreat into yourself, the way your laughter had become rare, replaced by a quiet, pervasive anxiety. One of your closest friends at the time, a fellow student who had always been attuned to your moods, suggested something radical: "Why don't you try something different for a while? Just to take the pressure off."
You were taken aback by the suggestion. "Like what?" you asked, genuinely curious. You couldn't imagine stepping away from your studies, even for a moment. But the exhaustion was so overwhelming that you were willing to entertain any idea that might offer some relief.
"Have you ever thought about acting?" your friend asked, a mischievous smile playing on their lips. "You've always had a flair for drama, and you're great at expressing yourself. It could be fun, and who knows? It might help you recharge."
The idea was so out of left field that you laughed. Acting? You had never seriously considered it. Sure, you had participated in a few school plays when you were younger, but it was always just for fun, never something you thought of as a career. But the more you thought about it, the more the idea intrigued you. Maybe stepping away from the rigid structure of medical school could be exactly what you needed. Maybe exploring a different side of yourself could reignite the passion that had been dwindling for medicine.
On a whim, you decided to give it a try. You signed up for an acting workshop, just to see if you had any talent or interest in it. To your surprise, you loved it. The freedom of expression, the creativity, the way you could lose yourself in a character and forget about the stress of your real life—it was exhilarating. For the first time in months, you felt genuinely happy, like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
Encouraged by the positive experience, you started attending more workshops, getting involved in local theater productions, and even taking a few acting classes on the side. It was all just for fun at first, a way to balance out the intensity of your studies. But the more you immersed yourself in the world of acting, the more you realized how much you enjoyed it.
Then came the fateful day when everything changed. One of your acting instructors, who had been impressed by your natural talent, mentioned that a casting call was being held for a new movie. It was a big-budget production, with a well-known director at the helm, and they were looking for fresh faces to fill the lead roles. Your instructor encouraged you to audition, insisting that you had the potential to land the part.
At first, you hesitated. The idea of auditioning for a major film seemed absurd. You were a med student, not a professional actress. But something inside you, that same part that had pushed you to explore acting in the first place, urged you to go for it. What did you have to lose?
So, with a mix of nerves and excitement, you prepared for the audition. You worked on your lines, practiced your delivery, and did your best to channel the emotions of the character you were auditioning for. The day of the audition arrived, and you walked into the casting room with your heart pounding in your chest.
To your amazement, the audition went better than you could have imagined. You felt a connection with the character, a sense of ease in front of the camera that surprised even you. The casting directors seemed impressed, and you left the audition feeling a strange mix of exhilaration and disbelief.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
A few weeks later, you received the call that would change your life. You had landed the lead role in the movie. You couldn't believe it. This was supposed to be a temporary distraction, a way to relieve stress—not the start of a new career. But here you were, about to step into the world of professional acting.
The decision to accept the role was not an easy one. It meant putting your medical studies on hold, something that terrified you. You had worked so hard to get where you were, and the thought of stepping away felt like abandoning a part of yourself. But there was also a part of you that was excited, that saw this as an incredible opportunity, a chance to do something completely different.
You’re pacing your dorm apartment, the walls suddenly feeling too close, the air too thick. You can’t breathe. The call is stuck in your mind, you’ve been offered the lead role in a major movie—a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But the timing couldn’t be worse. You’re just a year away from completing your medical degree. A year. After all the sleepless nights, endless studying, and grueling rotations, it’s all so close to paying off. And yet…
You drop onto your bed, head in your hands, and your thoughts spiral out of control. What if you’re making a mistake? What if you take the role and regret it? What if you stay in medicine and never know what could have been? You feel your chest tightening, panic creeping in. You need to talk to someone. You need to talk to him.
Without thinking, you reach for your phone and press Lewis’s contact. As the phone rings, you silently beg for him to pick up. “Please, Lewis, pick up. Please, please, please…”
The call connects, and you hear a groggy voice on the other end. “Y/N/N? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His voice is laced with concern, but there’s a hint of sleep still clinging to his words.
Your heart drops. You forgot. You completely forgot that he’s in Belgium for the race at Spa. You glance at the clock, realizing just how late it is over there. “Oh my God, Lewis, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I completely forgot about the time difference and your race tomorrow…”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he says, his voice softening. “I’m awake now. Are you alright? What’s going on?”
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but the words tumble out in a rush. “I got offered the lead in a major movie, and I don’t know if I should take it. I’m just a year away from finishing med school, and it feels insane to stop now. But at the same time, this is such a huge opportunity, and I’m spiraling, and you were the first person I thought of to call.”
There’s a pause on the other end, and you can almost hear him processing what you’ve just said. “Lead role in a movie? Acting? You’re an actress? When did this happen?”
You blink, realizing you’ve never told him. Your heart sinks a little further. “Oh… yeah, I guess we haven’t talked in a while, have we?”
Silence hangs between you for a moment, heavy with unspoken words. “Yeah,” he finally says, the word carrying more weight than it should. “We haven’t.”
You clear your throat, trying to push past the awkwardness. “I was feeling burned out with all the studying, and a friend suggested I try something new to take my mind off it. I took an acting class, just for fun, but then one class turned into two, and before I knew it, I was hooked. And now… now I’m being offered a lead role in a movie. Crazy, right? How things change so fast…”
He exhales slowly, as if trying to absorb everything you’ve just told him. “Yeah… yeah, it is crazy.” There’s another pause, but this time it feels different—more contemplative. “Look, Y/N/N, I know this is a huge decision, and it’s not one you can take lightly. But I also know you. You’re not someone who backs down from a challenge. You’ve got this incredible intuition, this ability to know what’s right for you, even if it’s terrifying. If acting is something that excites you, something that makes you feel alive, then maybe it’s worth exploring. You’re not giving up on medicine; you’re just… taking a detour. Following your heart. And whatever you decide, I’ll be here to support you. I believe in you.”
His words wash over you, calming the storm inside your mind. You feel a warmth spread through your chest, easing the tightness that had gripped you just moments before. “Thank you, Lewis. I really needed to hear that.”
“Of course,” he replies softly. “I’m glad I could help.”
You smile, feeling a sense of peace settle over you. “Good luck with your race tomorrow. I’m sorry again for disturbing you.”
“Don’t be,” he says, his voice tinged with affection. “I’m always here for you, no matter what. And thanks—I’ll need that luck.”
A comfortable silence falls between you, the kind that only exists between people who’ve known each other for years. You can almost picture him on the other end of the line, smiling that soft, reassuring smile of his.
“It’s really good to hear your voice,” you say, your tone almost wistful.
“Yeah,” he echoes, a hint of something unspoken in his voice. “It is.”
You close your eyes, letting the moment linger, not wanting it to end. But eventually, you know it must. “Goodnight, Lewis.”
“Goodnight, Y/N/N.”
The call ends, and you’re left in the quiet of your dorm room, the weight of the decision still pressing on you, but somehow, it feels a little lighter now. You sit on your bed, staring at the wall, thinking about the offer, about your career, but mostly about him—about how much you miss him, miss his voice, his presence in your life.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
In the end, you decided to take the leap. You paused your medical studies, packed your bags, and flew out to the film's shooting location. It was a whirlwind experience—long hours on set, learning the ins and outs of the industry, working alongside seasoned actors who had been doing this for years. It was challenging, but also incredibly rewarding. You discovered a new side of yourself, a side that loved the thrill of performing, the camaraderie of the cast and crew, the magic of bringing a story to life on screen.
When the movie was released, it became an unexpected hit. Critics praised your performance, calling you a "rising star" and predicting a bright future for you in the industry. Offers for other roles began to pour in, and before you knew it, you were being whisked off to auditions, meetings with agents, and photo shoots for magazines. Your life had completely changed, and you were caught up in the whirlwind of it all.
As your acting career took off, your medical aspirations took a backseat. You told yourself it was just temporary, that you would return to your studies once things settled down. But the more time you spent in the acting world, the more you realized how much you loved it. Acting allowed you to explore different aspects of your personality, to tell stories that resonated with people, to connect with audiences in a way that was deeply fulfilling.
But with success came new challenges. The pressure to maintain your newfound fame, the scrutiny from the media, the constant demands on your time—it was all overwhelming. There were moments when you questioned whether you had made the right choice, moments when you longed for the stability and sense of purpose that medicine had provided. But then you would step onto a set, feel the rush of excitement as the cameras rolled, and you would remember why you had chosen this path.
You also had to navigate the complexities of your relationships. Some of your friends and family were supportive, thrilled to see you succeeding in a new field. But others were skeptical, worried that you were throwing away years of hard work for a career that was far less stable and predictable. You had long conversations with your parents, trying to reassure them that you hadn't abandoned your dreams of becoming a doctor, that you were just exploring a different side of yourself for now.
And then there was Lewis. His racing career turned out to be everything you imagined it would be. He’s a four-time Formula 1 World Champion, and despite all the fame and glory, he always made time for you. He had always been your biggest supporter, no matter what you decided to do. But even he had his doubts. "Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked one day, as you sat together in your apartment, reviewing the script for your next film.
"I think so," you replied, uncertainty creeping into your voice. "I never expected this to happen, but now that it has, I can't imagine walking away."
He studied you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. "I just want you to be happy, Y/N. Whatever that looks like."
His words stuck with you, a reminder of the person you had always been, the person you were still trying to figure out. You loved acting, but there was a part of you that missed the structure, the challenge, and the sense of purpose that medicine had provided.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
As your acting career continued to flourish, you made a promise to yourself: you wouldn't close the door on medicine entirely. The years of hard work and late nights studying had shaped you, and you were determined to find a way to honor that journey, even as new opportunities emerged in the entertainment world. It was during one of those opportunities that you first met Jensen. The encounter happened at a charity gala, an event you never imagined attending before your acting career took off.
You stood quietly in a corner, nursing a glass of champagne, your eyes scanning the room filled with celebrities and high-profile individuals. You had been invited because of your rising status in the industry, a status that still felt surreal at times. The room buzzed with energy, laughter, and the clinking of glasses, but it was Jensen’s presence that captivated you. He had an effortless charisma, a magnetism that drew you in from across the room.
Jensen, with his boyish charm and magnetic charisma, made his way through the crowd effortlessly. When his eyes locked onto yours, it was as if the world had stopped. He approached you with a confidence that was both alluring and intimidating.
"Hello beautiful, I'm Jensen," he said, his smile dazzling.
"Hi, I'm Y/N," you replied, trying to match his confidence but feeling your heart race.
From that moment on, your life transformed into a whirlwind romance. Jensen's world was intoxicating—red carpet events, glamorous parties, and moments that seemed too perfect to be real. He was attentive, always making you feel like the center of his universe. The late-night phone calls, surprise visits, and stolen moments of affection made you believe that you had found your fairy tale.
Your relationship with Jensen was the epitome of Hollywood glamour. Photographers captured your every move, and tabloids buzzed with stories of your romance. At first, the attention was thrilling. You felt special, adored, and on top of the world.
But as the months passed, the cracks began to show. Jensen's demanding schedule meant that he was often away on set, leaving you feeling lonely and neglected. The glamour started to fade, replaced by the harsh realities of a high-profile relationship.
Jensen's charm, which once made you feel special, started to feel suffocating. His possessiveness grew, and he began to dictate your choices. What you wore, where you went, who you spoke to—all became subjects of his control. At first, you brushed it off as his way of caring, but soon it became clear that his love was conditional.
The late-night arguments became frequent. Jensen's temper, once hidden behind his charming facade, surfaced. He would lash out, accusing you of not understanding his pressures and responsibilities. You tried to be supportive, to be the perfect partner, but nothing seemed to be enough.
You began to feel like a prisoner in your own life, trapped by the expectations and scrutiny of the public eye. The relationship that once made you feel alive now drained you of your happiness.
The turning point came one night when you discovered Jensen's infidelity. You found messages on his phone from a woman named Claire. The words were explicit, leaving no room for misinterpretation. Your heart shattered as you realized that the man you thought you knew had betrayed you.
Confronting Jensen was one of the hardest things you had ever done. He denied it at first, then tried to downplay it. But the evidence was irrefutable. The betrayal cut deep, leaving scars that would take years to heal.
Despite the heartbreak, you tried to salvage the relationship. You didn't want to believe that the fairy tale was over. You attended couples therapy, made compromises, and tried to forgive. But the trust was gone, and without it, the relationship was a shadow of what it once was.
The final straw came when another woman, Lisa, contacted you. She had photos and videos of Jensen with her, and she was threatening to expose them to the media unless you paid her a significant amount of money. You were truly at your breaking point.
The humiliation, the betrayal, and the constant pressure became too much to bear. You decided to expose Jensen and the women who had been involved with him. You gathered all the evidence, and with a heavy heart, you released it to the public.
The reaction was immediate and explosive. Social media was ablaze with shock and outrage. Jensen's image, once so pristine, was shattered. The world saw him for who he truly was—a man who had deceived and manipulated those closest to him.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Your phone buzzes incessantly on the nightstand, the screen lighting up with each incoming call, text, and notification. It’s been going on for hours now, ever since the news broke. The media is in a frenzy, and your family and friends are no different. Everyone wants to know if it’s true, if the rumors about Jensen’s infidelity are real. But you can’t bring yourself to face it. You’ve been lying in bed, numb and drained, staring at the ceiling as if you could will the world away.
Each buzz feels like a jolt, a painful reminder of the life you thought you had, the relationship you thought was solid. Jensen had been controlling, isolating you from everyone you cared about, but you never imagined it would come to this. The betrayal cuts deeper than you ever thought possible, and the pain is almost numbing in its intensity.
You roll over, burying your face in the pillow, trying to block out the noise, the world, everything. But then, amidst the endless stream of messages and calls, a name flashes across your screen that makes you freeze. Lewis.
You haven’t spoken to him in what feels like forever. Jensen had made sure of that, keeping you away from your friends, especially Lewis. But seeing his name now stirs something inside you, a mix of longing, relief, and an overwhelming sense of loss. You reach for the phone with trembling hands and answer, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything. The words are stuck in your throat, your heart pounding painfully in your chest.
“Y/N/N?” Lewis’s voice is soft, laced with concern, and just hearing it makes the tears you’ve been holding back start to fall. “Y/N/N, are you there?”
“Hi, Lewis,” you manage to choke out, your voice cracking as you try to keep the sobs at bay.
“Y/N/N…” He says your name again, but this time, it’s different. It’s like he’s trying to reach out and hold you, even though you’re miles apart. “Where are you? I’ll fly to you right now. Just tell me where you are, sweetheart.”
You close your eyes, the endearment hitting you like a wave. It’s been so long since someone called you that with genuine care. “I just… I just want to be alone,” you whisper, barely audible.
“Y/N/N, no,” he says, his voice more urgent now. “You’ve been through so much, and I’ve been worried about you for the longest time. Please, don’t shut me out.”
“Lewis, please…” You’re crying again, harder this time, the words coming out between broken sobs. “I’m… I’ll be okay. I just… I need time. I need to be alone. And I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry for not staying in contact with you. I should have…”
“Shhh, shhh, no, no, Y/N/N,” Lewis interrupts, his voice firm but gentle. “It’s not your fault, okay? It’s not.”
“But it is,” you protest weakly, your guilt and shame threatening to swallow you whole. “It is, Lewis. I pushed you away. I let him push you away.”
“Y/N/N, listen to me,” he says, his tone softer now, soothing. “It’s not your fault. You don’t have to carry that. I’m just so sorry you’ve had to go through this.”
You’re silent, your chest heaving with the effort of trying to breathe through the pain. You want to believe him, to let go of the guilt, but it’s so hard. Everything feels so heavy, so overwhelming.
“Y/N/N?” Lewis’s voice breaks through your thoughts, anchoring you. “Talk to me. Please.”
You swallow hard, trying to find the words, but all you can manage is a whisper. “I have to go.”
“No, Y/N/N, don’t…” He sounds desperate now, almost pleading. “Please don’t hang up.”
“Lewis, it’s okay,” you say, though your voice is shaking. “I just… I need to turn my phone off and go away for a while. I just wanted to hear your voice before I go.”
“Go?” Lewis’s voice is strained with worry. “Y/N/N, you’re scaring me. Please, don’t do anything—”
“I’m not going to harm myself, Lewis,” you quickly reassure him, though you can hear the fear in his voice. “I just need to be away from everything—the phone, social media, the public. All of it. I need space. I need silence. I need some peace.”
There’s a long pause on the other end, and you can almost feel his struggle, his desire to reach through the phone and hold you, to keep you from slipping away. “Okay, Y/N/N,” he finally says, his voice soft, filled with a tenderness that makes your heart ache. “I just want you to know that I care about you so much. I’m here for you, no matter what. Always.”
Your throat tightens again, and you fight to keep your voice steady. “I know, Lew. I know.”
The silence that follows is both comforting and painful, a shared moment of understanding and loss. You can almost see him, the way he would look at you with those concerned eyes, the way he would hold you until the pain wasn’t so suffocating.
“Goodbye, Lewis,” you whisper, your voice breaking.
“I’ll talk to you later, Y/N/N,” he replies, a quiet determination in his tone that you know so well.
The call ends, and you’re left staring at the screen, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on you. The hurt is still there, raw and painful, but there’s a small sliver of warmth now, too. Hearing his voice again, knowing he’s still there for you, gives you a fragile sense of comfort.
You turn off your phone, letting the silence envelop you. The world outside fades away, and for a moment, it’s just you in the quiet, trying to piece together the shattered fragments of your heart.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
For the past year and a half, you distanced yourself from everyone, including Lewis. You buried yourself in work, traveled alone, and avoided any situation that might bring back memories of what you lost. Your heart ached, but you told yourself it was better this way. Safer.
You threw yourself into your career, taking on projects that challenged and inspired you. You even went back to school. You traveled to places you had always dreamed of visiting, finding solace in the beauty of the world. You spent time in nature, hiking, meditating, and rediscovering yourself.
The media had a field day with your disappearance. Speculations ran wild, but you remained silent, focusing on your healing. You took up new hobbies, learned new skills, and invested in yourself. Slowly, you began to rebuild your confidence and sense of self-worth.
You emerged from the shadows stronger, wiser, and more determined than ever. Your hard work paid off, and you made a name for yourself. Your projects received critical acclaim, and your name was on everyone's lips for all the right reasons.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Tonight was your first public appearance since exposing Jensen. The Met Gala was the event of the year, and you had been meticulously preparing for it. Your stylist had outdone herself, and when you looked in the mirror, you saw a vision of elegance and strength.
As you stepped onto the red carpet, the flashes of cameras and the shouts of fans filled the air. You walked with confidence, your head held high, and a smile that spoke of triumph and resilience.
"Y/N, you look stunning!" the photographers called out.
"Over here, Y/N! Give us a smile!"
You obliged, posing for the cameras and greeting the fans. It felt good to be back, to be seen and appreciated for who you had become.
The crowded after-party buzzed with energy, laughter, and the clinking of glasses. People mingled, dressed to the nines, chatting and dancing in the dimly lit room. The atmosphere was electric, but you found yourself standing still, feeling a mix of excitement and trepidation. You hadn't seen Lewis in years, and the sight of him now, just a few feet away, sent a shiver down your spine.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Lewis Hamilton, your former best friend. Lewis had been your rock, your confidant, and your best friend. He had been there through thick and thin, always ready with a comforting word or a warm embrace. It had been years since you last spoke to him, even longer since you last saw him, and the sight of him brought back a flood of memories. You hesitated, unsure of what to do.
Lewis spotted you and made his way over. His presence was as comforting as ever, and when he reached you, he placed his hand on your arm and leaned in close.
"Hi, Y/N," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your nerves.
"Hi, Lewis," you replied, trying to steady your racing heart.
His eyes held a mix of emotions—concern, relief, and something deeper. His presence was both comforting and disconcerting. The familiar warmth of his hand on your arm, the concern in his eyes, and the gentle tone of his voice—all of it felt like home. And yet, there was something else, something new, stirring within you. It was an unfamiliar sensation, one that made your chest feel light and your heart beat loudly in your ears.
You stood there, staring into his eyes, and your mind began to drift back to the countless moments you had shared with Lewis. The late-night conversations, the laughter, the shared dreams and hopes. He had always been your anchor, grounding you when the world felt too overwhelming. You remembered the way he would listen to you, truly listen, making you feel heard and understood. No one else had ever made you feel that way.
Lewis had been there during some of the darkest times in your life. When you first broke into the entertainment industry and faced the pressures of fame, he was the one who kept you grounded. He had a way of making you see the bigger picture, of reminding you of your worth and potential. His encouragement had been a constant source of strength for you.
As your mind wandered, you recalled the moments of pure joy you had shared with him. The spontaneous road trips, the late-night drives, the silly arguments that always ended in laughter. Lewis had a way of making even the mundane feel magical. He brought a sense of adventure and excitement into your life, and you cherished every moment you spent with him.
And then there were the quieter moments, the times when words weren't needed. Sitting in comfortable silence, watching the sunset, or simply being in each other's presence. Those moments had a depth and intimacy that you hadn't experienced with anyone else. It was in those moments that you felt truly seen and understood.
But as your relationship with Jensen took over, you had drifted away from Lewis. The demands of your high-profile romance consumed you, and you found yourself distancing from the people who mattered most. Lewis had tried to be there for you, but you were too caught up in the whirlwind to notice. You regretted that now, more than anything.
Standing here, face to face with Lewis, you felt a pang of guilt. You had shut him out, pushed him away when you needed him the most. And yet, here he was, looking at you with the same warmth and concern as always. It was a testament to the kind of person he was, loyal and kind.
But there was something else in his eyes tonight, something that made your heart race. It was a look you hadn't seen before, a depth of emotion that went beyond friendship. It made you feel vulnerable, exposed, and yet strangely exhilarated. You weren't sure what it was, but it made your chest feel light and your heart beat loudly in your ears.
You tried to make sense of this new feeling. It was a mix of longing, anticipation, and a hint of fear. Longing for the connection you once had, anticipation for what could be, and fear of the unknown. You had spent so long guarding your heart, protecting yourself from more pain, that this new sensation was both thrilling and terrifying.
As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, Lewis gently guided you to a quieter corner of the room. The noise and chaos of the party faded into the background as you focused on him, on the way his presence made you feel safe and cherished.
"How have you been?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the words to convey everything you had been through. "It's been... challenging," you admitted. "But I'm doing better now. I've been healing, focusing on myself."
He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'm glad to hear that. I've missed you, Y/N/N."
Those words hit you like a punch to the gut. You had missed him too, more than you could ever express. The realization made your heart ache with a mix of regret and hope.
"I've missed you too, Lewis," you said softly, your voice tinged with emotion.
There was a moment of silence as you both took in each other's presence. It was as if time had stopped, and all that mattered was this moment, this connection between you. You felt a spark, a flicker of something more, and it both excited and scared you.
Lewis reached out and gently took your hand in his. The simple gesture sent a jolt of electricity through you. His touch was familiar, comforting, and yet it ignited a new flame within you. You felt a warmth spread through your chest, a sense of belonging that you hadn't felt in a long time.
"I know things have been tough," he said, his voice low and earnest. "But you're stronger than you think, Y/N/N. You've always been strong."
Tears welled up in your eyes as his words touched a deep part of you. You had been trying to be strong for so long, to prove to yourself and the world that you could rise above the pain. Hearing Lewis acknowledge that strength made you feel seen and validated.
"Thank you, Lewis," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I don't know what I would have done without your support."
He squeezed your hand gently, his eyes filled with a mix of pride and affection. "You've always had it in you, Y/N. You just needed to believe in yourself."
His words resonated with you, echoing the journey you had been on over the past year and a half. You had fought hard to rebuild your life, to find yourself again. And now, standing here with Lewis, you felt a renewed sense of hope.
As the night went on, you found yourself drawn to Lewis in a way you hadn't expected. There was a new layer to your connection, something deeper and more profound. It was as if the time apart had only strengthened the bond between you, and now it was evolving into something more.
You couldn't deny the way your heart raced when he looked at you, the way his touch sent shivers down your spine. It was a feeling you hadn't experienced in a long time, and it scared you. But it also filled you with a sense of excitement and possibility.
You spent the rest of the evening talking, reminiscing about old times and catching up on each other's lives. The conversation flowed effortlessly, just like it always had. And yet, there was an undercurrent of something new, something that made your heart flutter.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
As the night drew to a close, you found yourself standing outside the venue, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the warmth of the party. Lewis stood beside you, his presence a comforting anchor in the midst of everything you were feeling. The two of you had talked throughout the evening, catching up in a way that felt familiar yet distant. There had been laughter, shared memories, and a surface-level exchange about how your lives were going. But there was something deeper weighing on your heart, something you couldn’t ignore any longer.
“Lewis,” you began, your voice soft and hesitant, “I’m sorry.”
He turned to you, his expression shifting from the relaxed smile he’d worn all evening to something more serious, more concerned. “What for?”
You swallowed hard, gathering your thoughts, knowing this was going to be difficult but feeling an overwhelming need to say it. “I know tonight we talked a little bit about our lives and how we’re doing, but I just wanted to say… I’m sorry. For not staying in contact with you throughout college as much as I should have.”
Lewis frowned, his eyes searching your face as if trying to understand where this was coming from. “Y/N, that wasn’t—”
“No, please, let me finish,” you interrupted, your voice shaking slightly as you pushed forward. “And then, when my career took off… You were there for me, supporting me, and I was with Jensen, and I cut you off.”
“Y/N, that wasn’t your fault,” he said quickly, his tone gentle but firm.
“I know,” you nodded, tears welling in your eyes. “But after everything that happened, I didn’t speak to you at all. It’s been three years, Lewis. Three years since it all fell apart, and tonight was the first time I’ve talked to you in years. And we didn’t even really talk. We just… surface talked. And you deserve more than that. So… I’m sorry.”
Lewis looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions—shock, hurt, confusion. Your words had opened up old wounds, bringing to the surface feelings he’d buried deep down. He was struggling to process it all, his heart racing as he tried to find something to say, to make sense of the flood of emotions you’d just unleashed. But before he could respond, you suddenly seemed to panic.
Your breath hitched as you realized the weight of what you’d just said, the vulnerability you’d exposed. “I—I shouldn’t have brought this up. Not here. Not now,” you stammered, your voice trembling. Without waiting for him to say anything, you turned and walked away, your steps quickening as you headed for your car. “I’m sorry,” you whispered again, but it was barely audible.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Lewis stood there, frozen, watching as you slipped away into the night. His heart ached, the apology you’d left him with echoing in his mind. “She’s sorry?” he murmured to himself, the words feeling hollow and incomplete. There was so much more to say, so much more he wanted to understand, but you were gone before he could even begin to process it.
As you sat in your car, your hands gripping your purse, you felt a wave of regret wash over you. “What did I just do?” you whispered, your voice laced with self-recrimination. “That wasn’t the time or place… I’m such an idiot.” You stared blankly ahead, the headlights of passing cars blurring as your mind replayed the scene over and over. You couldn’t believe you’d brought up something so deep, so personal, in such a casual setting. And then, you didn’t even give him a chance to respond. You just walked away. Again.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Meanwhile, Lewis remained rooted to the spot, his thoughts a chaotic swirl of confusion and hurt. Your words had ripped open old scars, bringing back all the pain of losing you, the ache of your absence in his life. And now, you’d said you were sorry, but what did that mean? Was that it? Was that all you had to say after years of silence?
“She’s sorry…” Lewis repeated, his voice barely a whisper. It wasn’t enough. It didn’t explain why you’d cut him off, why you’d let so much time pass without a word, and why you’d left him standing there without so much as an explanation.
As the chauffeur approached him, telling him his car was ready, Lewis felt a sudden rush of determination. He couldn’t let it end like this. Not again. He couldn’t let you walk away without at least trying to understand, without at least saying something—anything—that might bridge the gap that had grown between you over the years.
“Follow that black SUV that just pulled off,” Lewis instructed the driver as he climbed into the car.
“Okay, sir,” the driver responded, nodding as he pulled away from the curb, keeping the distance between the cars minimal.
Lewis leaned back in his seat, his mind racing. He didn’t know what he was going to say when he caught up with you, but he knew he had to try. He couldn’t let you disappear from his life again, not after everything you’d just unearthed, not after the years of silence and buried feelings that were now clawing their way to the surface.
He watched the road ahead, his heart pounding, as the chauffeur followed closely behind your car. He didn’t care how long it took, or what he had to do—he wasn’t going to let you slip away again. Not this time.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
You had just returned to your penthouse after the Met Gala after-party, exhausted yet exhilarated by the night's events. The gown you had worn now lay draped over a chair, and you had just managed to slip into a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a loose-fitting t-shirt. The clock on your bedside table blinked 3:40 AM. You were about to crawl into bed when a knock on the door startled you.
"Who the fuck?" you muttered to yourself, rubbing your eyes as you made your way to the door.
Opening it, you were met with the sight of Lewis, looking disheveled and intense. You blinked, trying to process the unexpected visitor.
"Lewis? What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice a mix of confusion and concern.
He didn't say a word, just walked past you into the penthouse and sat down heavily on your couch. You stood there for a moment, stunned. This was not like Lewis. Closing the door behind you, you walked over to him, trying to understand what was happening.
"Uh, okay. What's going on?" you asked, your voice tentative.
Before you could say anything else, Lewis turned to you, his eyes blazing with a mix of hurt and frustration.
"You're sorry... Sorry, Y/N? After all these years of not speaking to each other and being best friends, that's all you have to say to me? Sorry? I deserve more than that. No, fuck that, I need more from you," he said, his voice trembling with emotion.
Your confusion deepened, and you took a step back, trying to gather your thoughts. "Lewis, I—what do you want me to say? I mean, friends drift apart, a lot of shit happened" you began, but he cut you off.
"Friends?! Friends, Y/N? I've known you since we were kids. I know your favorite movie, your favorite color, your favorite flowers—yeah, flowers, because you have three. I know how you like your eggs cooked, I know you love ketchup but hate tomatoes on anything. I know you're allergic to mosquito bites, and you hate when people say something and then say 'never mind'. I know you, Y/N, everything about you. You're my person, my Y/N. We are not just friends, Y/N. At least not in my eyes."
You stood there, speechless, as his words washed over you. He continued, his voice growing more desperate. "So yes, I'm mad at your 'I'm sorry' after three years of not hearing from you, having to call your parents, friends, your siblings, hell, even your assistant to know how you are doing. So, sorry if I feel like the girl I've been in love with since forever deserves to give me more of a conversation."
His words hung in the air, heavy and charged with emotion. You stared at him, your mind racing to comprehend everything he had just said. There was a silence, thick and palpable, stretching between you both.
"You... love me?" you finally managed to whisper, your voice barely audible.
The room seemed to close in around you as you waited for his response, your heart pounding loudly in your ears.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ♪ ♫ .• ☆.°.• .
Lewis’s silence was deafening. He stared at you with a mixture of vulnerability and determination, his usual confidence stripped away by raw emotion. You could see the pain etched in his features, and it mirrored the tumultuous feelings inside you.
"Yes, Y/N," he said finally, his voice hoarse. "I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. And it’s not just some fleeting feeling or a phase. It’s been there, in the background, every day, every moment we’ve been apart. I’ve watched you build your life, your career, and I’ve cheered you on from a distance. But it was never enough for me to just be on the sidelines. I wanted more, I needed more, and I didn’t know how to make you see that."
You took a deep breath, your mind reeling from his confession. The realization that Lewis’s feelings for you were not just platonic but something deeper, something that had been lingering all these years, was overwhelming. It made you feel exposed and vulnerable in ways you hadn’t anticipated.
"I... I didn’t know," you said softly, your voice trembling. "I had no idea you felt this way."
Lewis’s eyes softened slightly, but the pain was still evident. "How could you? I kept it hidden, buried under layers of friendship and missed opportunities. I thought maybe if I stayed out of the way, you’d figure it out on your own. But the longer I stayed silent, the more I realized that I was just hurting myself. And when you disappeared, I thought I’d lost my chance forever."
Your mind flashed back to those moments when you were close, when you shared everything with him. You remembered how he always seemed to be just a step away from being more than a friend, but you had never let yourself acknowledge it. Your focus had been on your own life, your career, and Jensen. Now, standing in front of Lewis, you saw the depth of what you had missed.
"I was so caught up in everything that happened with Jensen," you said, tears welling up in your eyes. "I pushed everyone away, including you. And now... now I’m not sure what to do with all of this. I didn’t know how much I missed you until you were back here, but I’m still trying to understand what this means."
Lewis stood up and walked towards you, his gaze never leaving yours. "What it means, Y/N, is that I’m here, laying it all out for you. I’m not asking for anything other than the chance to be honest with you. I need you to know how I feel, and I need you to decide if there’s a place for me in your life—beyond just friends."
The emotion in his voice was almost palpable, and you could feel the weight of his words pressing down on you. Your heart ached with the complexity of the situation. You had been through so much, and now faced with this raw, unfiltered declaration of love, you felt torn.
As the silence stretched between you and Lewis, you felt a tumult of emotions roiling within you. The weight of his confession had struck a chord deep inside, stirring feelings that had long been buried. His words had opened a floodgate, and as you stood there, the realization that you had harbored a deep love for him all along became crystal clear.
"I love you," you said softly, the words escaping your lips almost as a whisper but carrying the weight of years of unspoken emotion.
Lewis’s eyes widened in shock, his mouth slightly open as he struggled to process what he had just heard. "W-What?" he stuttered, his voice barely above a whisper. The disbelief in his tone was palpable, and for a moment, he seemed frozen, as if he couldn’t quite grasp the reality of the situation.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart and the tears that threatened to spill over. You locked eyes with him, your gaze unwavering. "The recent years apart made me realize just how much I truly missed you. I was so naïve and stupid when we were younger. I didn’t see how you looked at me or how you treated me. You were always there for me, through the good and the bad days. Even when I wanted to rot away, you were there, holding me up."
Tears began to slip down your cheeks, and you reached up to wipe them away with trembling fingers. "Tonight, seeing you again after all these years, my whole mind and body were flooded with emotions. It made me realize what I knew deep down: that I love you. I’ve always loved you more than a friend. I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve put you through. I know I can’t make it up to you, and you have every right not to forgive me. But I am so sorry, Lewis. I love you. I really do. I’m in love with you."
Your voice broke as you spoke, and the tears you had been trying to hold back began to fall freely. The intensity of your emotions was overwhelming, and you felt a mixture of relief and sorrow as you poured out your heart.
Lewis’s eyes were wide with disbelief, and his own tears began to form as he processed your confession. He stood up slowly, the gravity of the moment clearly affecting him. Without a word, he walked towards you, his steps filled with purpose and urgency.
When he reached you, he cupped your face gently in his hands, his touch both tender and fervent. He leaned in, closing the gap between you, and his lips met yours in a passionate, urgent kiss. The kiss was filled with all the longing, love, and frustration that had been building up over the years. It was a kiss that spoke of pain and hope, of dreams lost and found.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were filled with a mix of wonder and joy. "You have no fucking idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words to me," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "I’m not even sure if this is real or if my mind is just playing tricks on me."
You managed a soft, tearful laugh, the joy and relief mingling with the sadness of your confession. You reached up, gently cradling his face in your hands. His hands were still on your face, his touch grounding and reassuring. "It’s real, Lewis," you said with a trembling smile. "I love you, Lewis Hamilton. I always have."
Lewis’s expression softened, and he returned your smile with a mixture of adoration and relief. "And I love you, Y/N L/N. Always have, always will."
With that, the intensity of the moment took over, he closed the distance between you, his lips crashing onto yours in a fervent, passionate kiss. The kiss was deep and urgent, fueled by the years of longing and unspoken feelings that had been bottled up. Your bodies pressed together, the heat of the moment making you both lose track of everything but the electric connection between you.
As the kiss continued, Lewis’s hands roamed over your back, pulling you closer to him. You could feel the strength of his arms around you, and the warmth of his body pressed against yours. The kiss was a dance of passion and tenderness, each of you exploring the newfound closeness with a mix of fervor and delicacy.
With a sudden surge of energy, Lewis lifted you off the ground, his arms strong and steady as he cradled you against him. A surprised yelp of joy escaped your lips, but it was quickly swallowed by another deep kiss. You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling the thrill of being held so securely.
Lewis pulled away briefly, his breath mingling with yours as he looked into your eyes with a mix of desire and determination. "Bedroom," he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
You nodded, guiding him towards the bedroom with a sense of excitement and anticipation. "It's this way," you whispered, your voice breathless. As he carried you through the penthouse, his lips never left your neck, trailing kisses that sent shivers down your spine.
When you reached the bedroom, Lewis gently laid you down on the bed, his gaze never leaving yours. The room was dimly lit, casting soft shadows that danced along the walls. The atmosphere was charged with a mixture of passion and vulnerability, the culmination of years of unspoken emotions.
As you lay on the bed, Lewis’s hands roamed over your body with a mixture of reverence and eagerness. He kissed your neck, moving slowly down towards your collarbone, his lips brushing against your skin with a tenderness that made your heart race. His touch was both soothing and electrifying, igniting every nerve in your body.
You reached up, your hands working on the buttons of his shirt with a sense of urgency. The fabric fell away, revealing his well-defined chest. You traced your fingers over his skin, savoring the warmth and strength beneath your fingertips. Lewis responded with a soft, appreciative murmur, his hands continuing their exploration of your body.
You continued to undress him, your movements growing more confident as you removed his pants and underwear. Each layer of clothing that fell away seemed to bring you both closer, the physical closeness mirroring the emotional connection that had finally been acknowledged.
His kisses were searing, each one more urgent than the last. His hands roaming your body with a hunger that left you breathless, igniting a fire wherever they touched. His mouth moved from your lips to your neck, kissing, nipping, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. You arched into him, the need for more overwhelming.
Without breaking contact, he settled between your legs, his hands sliding under your shirt, lifting it over your head. As you unclasped your bra, Lewis’s eyes were filled with adoration and desire. "You’re beautiful," he whispered, his voice husky with emotion. He leaned down, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, his tongue swirling around it while his fingers teased the other. You moaned, your back arching off the bed, the sensation sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core.
Lewis trailed kisses down your body, his mouth hot against your skin, until he reached the waistband of your panties. He looked up at you, his eyes locking with yours as he slowly pulled them down, the anticipation building with every second. He spread your legs wider, his breath hot against your most sensitive area. When his tongue finally made contact, you cried out, your hands gripping the sheets. He licked and sucked, his tongue exploring every inch, driving you wild with need.
"Fuck, you taste so good," he murmured against your skin, his voice husky with desire. "I can't get enough of you."
You gasped, the sensation of his mouth on you too much and not enough all at once. "Lewis, please," you begged, your voice trembling with need.
"Patience, love," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. "I want to savor every moment."
He looked up, his eyes dark with lust, before diving back in, his tongue working in tandem with his fingers. He slid one, then two fingers inside you, curling them just right, hitting that perfect spot over and over again. Your body responded immediately, the pressure building, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. When the first orgasm hit, it was like a wave crashing over you, your body tensing, then shuddering as the pleasure rolled through you.
But Lewis wasn't done. He continued working his fingers in and out of you, relentlessly, not giving you a moment to come down from your high. His tongue flicked over your clit as his fingers worked you, the sensation almost too much. You could feel another orgasm building, the intensity of it taking your breath away. When it hit, it was even more powerful than the first, your body convulsing with the force of it. You screamed his name, your vision going white with the sheer pleasure of it.
"You taste so sweet," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "I could do this all night."
He pulled back slightly, his eyes locked on yours. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft with concern.
You nodded, still trying to catch your breath. "More than okay," you managed to say, your voice hoarse with pleasure.
He smiled, a wicked glint in his eye. "Good. Because I'm not done with you yet."
He climbed back up your body, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. You could feel his erection pressing against you, the need in him just as fierce as your own. Without breaking the kiss, you flipped him onto his back, straddling him, your hands running over his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath your fingers.
"You’re so sexy," you murmured against his skin, your voice thick with desire. "I can't get enough of you."
You kissed him, your lips trailing down his neck, over his chest, worshipping his body. You moved lower, taking his thick cock into your mouth, your tongue swirling around the tip before taking it deeper, your hand stroking what your mouth couldn't reach. He groaned, his hands tangling in your hair, his control slipping.
"God, Y/N," he groaned, his voice rough with need. "Feels so fuckin’ good, sweetheart."
You continued sucking his cock, taking your time to pleasure him until he was teetering on the edge.
But he didn't let you finish. He pulled you up, his eyes burning with lust. "I want to come in you," he said, his voice rough. He flipped you over, positioning himself at your entrance. He pushed in slowly, the sensation of him filling you making you gasp.
He moved with a steady rhythm at first, his thrusts deep and powerful. The pleasure built quickly, the sensation of him inside you driving you wild. "Who's my good girl?" he whispered in your ear, his voice sending shivers down your spine. "You like that, right?"
You could only moan in response, the pleasure too intense for words. He moved faster, his thrusts harder, each one hitting that perfect spot inside you. He leaned down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and biting gently. The combination of sensations was overwhelming, and you felt another orgasm building, the pressure intense. When it hit, it was like an explosion, your body shaking with the force of it.
But Lewis didn't stop. This time he put a pillow under your lower back, throwing your legs over his shoulders. His thrusts were relentless, powerful, driving you to the edge again and again. You could feel another orgasm building, the intensity of it almost too much to bear. When it finally hit, it was like a tidal wave, crashing over you, leaving you breathless, dizzy with pleasure.
Even though you had come, Lewis hadn't. He continued to move, his thrusts never losing their rhythm, overwhelming you with pleasure. You could feel another orgasm building, the sensation almost too much. When it hit, it was like a white-hot explosion, your body convulsing with the force of it.
"Lewis, I can't... it's too much," you gasped, your body trembling with the intensity of the pleasure.
"You can take it, baby," he whispered, his husky voice filled with love and lust. "You're a good girl, right baby. Take it for me.
Lewis finally let himself go, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chased his own release. When he came, it was with a deep groan, his body tensing, then shuddering as he emptied himself inside you. He collapsed on top of you, his breath hot against your skin, his body trembling with the aftermath.
He rolled off you, pulling you close, his arms wrapping around you. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his fingers tracing patterns on your back. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft, concern lacing his tone.
You nodded, still trying to catch your breath. "That was... incredible," you managed to say, your voice hoarse.
Lewis smiled, his eyes softening. "You were incredible," he said, his hand cupping your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin. He kissed you gently, his lips soft against yours, a stark contrast to the rough passion from earlier.
He got up, disappearing into the bathroom for a moment before returning with a warm, damp cloth. He cleaned you up gently, his touch tender, his eyes never leaving yours. He tossed the cloth in the damper and climbed back into bed, pulling you into his arms.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, his voice filled with genuine concern.
"I'm perfect," you said, snuggling closer to him, your body still humming with the afterglow of your multiple orgasms.
Lewis’s fingers traced gentle patterns on your skin, his touch soothing and tender. He looked at you with a smile, his eyes filled with a mixture of contentment and adoration. "I never imagined this would happen," he said softly, his voice filled with wonder. "But I’m so glad it did."
You smiled back at him, your heart full and your soul at peace. "Me too," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I’ve never felt so complete."
He continued to hold you, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your back. "You're everything to me," he said quietly. "I want you to know that."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, the depth of his words touching you deeply. You had always known that there was something special between you, but hearing it aloud made it all the more real.
"You mean everything to me too, Lewis," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.
Lewis smiled, pressing another kiss to your forehead. "Good," he said, his voice soft. "I want you to feel safe and loved, always."
You looked up at him, your heart swelling with emotion. "I do," you said, your voice thick with feeling. "I love you, Lewis."
He looked at you, his eyes shining with emotion. "I love you too," he said, his voice steady and sincere.
You lay there in each other's arms, the tension and passion of the night giving way to a comfortable silence, the only sound the soft beat of your hearts in sync. The world outside ceased to exist, and in that moment, there was only the two of you, wrapped up in each other's love and warmth.
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appocalipse · 9 months ago
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see for yourself ⋆ sirius black
summary: after a party, you tell sirius how you ended things with the guy you've been seeing because he was a bit jealous of your friendship with him. sirius shows you that maybe he was right to be.
"You're in a good mood."
Sirius looks at you from his place on the floor and grins, wild and boyish. It makes your stomach do flips that you'd rather not think about too much, lest it leads to things you really shouldn't be thinking about.
"Must be your charming company," he says before looking back up at the ceiling, fingers laced behind his head.
He's laying spreadeagle on the hardwood floor, staring up at the slowly rotating fan and taking occasional swigs from an open bottle of Firewhisky beside him. Everyone but Remus, with whom Sirius shares the flat, had already gone home hours ago, leaving only you and Sirius behind in the living room.
You roll your eyes even though he can't see you doing it, setting your empty cup on the coffee table. You lean back against the sofa and fold one leg up under the other so you can turn to face him fully. "Remind me again why you're not sitting on furniture like a normal person?"
"It's more fun down here." He turns his head enough for you to catch his wolfish grin. "Care to join me?"
"Oh no," you laugh, shaking your head. "I should be getting home anyway. It's late."
Sirius frowns and pushes himself up into a sitting position. The look in his gray eyes is equal parts amusement and disappointment. "On a Friday night? Come on, love, we're barely tipsy. Besides, you still haven't told me what happened between you and that wanker you were seeing."
"There's nothing to tell," you shrug.
He scoffs as he crawls across the floor towards you. You bite the inside of your cheek when Sirius hoists himself onto the sofa beside you and pulls one leg up to his chest. There's a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth that doesn't seem quite as innocent as you'd like it to be.
"He looked pretty pissed off when he left," he says, twirling a long strand of your hair around his index finger. "What'd you say to him?"
"I didn't say anything. And we were together for barely three weeks. I was just...he wasn't the right guy, okay? Now shush."
You make a halfhearted attempt to turn away from him, but Sirius laughs softly and rests his head on your shoulder. "You don't say."
"Sirius."
"What? I'm glad you didn't waste any more time on that tosser. He would never have made you happy."
"How would you know?"
Sirius lifts his head and leans back far enough to look at you. His expression is one of smug self-confidence as he says, "Because I know everything."
"Everything, huh?"
"Everything."
You quirk an eyebrow. "Well then, what am I thinking right now?"
His eyes flick down to your lips for a brief moment before they find yours again, but it's enough for heat to rise in your cheeks. You could swear he starts to move closer before he blinks and turns away with a dry laugh, but by then you're not so sure anymore. "That you're bored of talking about this dolt."
The ache of disappointment in your chest must be almost palpable, because Sirius furrows his brow and asks, "Is everything alright?"
"Yup."
"You're lying."
"No, I'm not."
Sirius gives you a knowing look and shifts on the sofa to face you more fully. His knee knocks against yours. "Don't tell me you're hung up over that berk."
"Not in the slightest."
"Liar."
"I'm not," you insist. "Really."
"Did he break your heart or something? I'll break his arm."
You laugh, though you doubt Sirius is actually joking. "Nothing happened. He was just jealous. That's all."
He frowns, then narrows his eyes at you. "Jealous of who?"
"Oh, you know, the usual suspects," you say lightly, waving a hand as if to dismiss the topic completely. But when Sirius remains silent, you let out a slow breath and (as you usually do when it comes to him) give in. "You, mostly. He said some stuff, and I didn't take too kindly to it."
A wry smile spreads across Sirius' face. He looks delighted. "What'd he say about me?"
"Seriously?"
"Absolutely."
With a dramatic roll of your eyes, you rest your head back against the cushion behind you and say, "He thinks you, uh...you know, fancy me or something. That we spend too much time together. But I told him that he's crazy, obviously."
"Obviously."
The following silence bothers you.
You turn your head enough to see Sirius' face. He's staring back at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Then, after several moments of more tense silence, he whispers, "What if I do fancy you?"
"Sure you do," you mutter, rolling your eyes again.
Sirius places his palm on top of the hand resting between the two of you and brushes his thumb over your knuckles. "I could show you."
It takes a moment for you to register the offer.
"Did you drink more than I realized?"
"Just enough for the liquid courage to work."
Your tongue feels like sandpaper. "Sirius."
"Mmhm."
"Stop being ridiculous."
"Who says I'm being ridiculous?" he asks, bringing your hand to his lips and pressing a light kiss to your skin. "Maybe I'm madly in love with you. Have you considered that?"
You swallow, trying to ignore the way your stomach is doing somersaults. "This isn't funny, Padfoot."
"It's not supposed to be funny."
"But—"
He cuts you off by cupping your cheek and leaning in close enough for you to feel his warm breath on your lips. It smells of Firewhisky and mint. "Kiss me and see for yourself."
"You must be drunk."
"Only tipsy," he reminds you. "Or maybe a little drunk on you."
"You know, you're not half as funny as—mmph!"
He's kissing you. Sirius is kissing you, and dear sweet Merlin, you could swear that the world's tilting beneath you as his hands pull you closer. He hums contentedly when he feels you reciprocating, cradling your face between his palms as if to make sure that you won't go anywhere.
Not that you intend to.
It's the kind of kiss that steals your breath away. The kind of kiss you can lose yourself in without even realizing it, especially when one of his hands slides into your hair, and you moan involuntarily into his mouth.
Sirius laughs breathlessly against your lips as he eases you down onto your back. His fingers dance along your jawline before he curls them under your chin, tilting your head back and kissing his way down your throat.
"I think this went better than expected," he murmurs, pausing long enough to gently bite down on the sensitive spot where your neck meets your shoulder. You gasp.
Sirius sits up suddenly. His hair hangs in front of his face like a dark curtain and his eyes glitter with amusement when he pushes it back. Your pulse jumps when you see the slight redness of his lips and the hint of mischief on his face. "Don't tell me you're getting shy now."
"Shut up."
He leans down and kisses you again, groaning low in his throat as your hands slide up the broad expanse of his back. "I'm starting to think you fancy me, too," he whispers, words ghosting over your mouth.
"Yeah," you admit sheepishly, sliding your hands up and over his shoulders. "I may have been lying earlier. It's not that crazy."
"May have?"
"Fine, I did lie."
"I knew it."
He looks far too smug. Just this once, you don't really mind.
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starastrologyy · 1 year ago
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“You illuminate me”
Sun in partners Houses in Synastry
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Hi everyone, please note that this is mainly referring to romantic synastry. I can do more posts about platonic or familial synastry in the future, if that’s something that would interest anyone :)
The Sun shows us the area of life we essentially “illuminate” in the life of another person.
Sun in partners 1st house
This is a great overlay in most relationships, as it suggests that there is a common sense of understanding and resonance between the two. The Sun persons ego and identity are in sync with the House persons personality and outward persona. These two can become fast friends, and feel as if they have a lot in common. The Sun person can be drawn to the Ascendant persons physical appearance, and the manner in which they carry themselves. In turn, the house person can often validate the Sun person’s ego and basic identity. They have a profound impact on each others identities and feelings of self-confidence.
Sun in partners 2nd house
The Sun person brings awareness to the house persons values, finances, possessions, and sense of self-worth. The Sun person has the potential to impact the house persons feelings of self-worth (however, this can be negatively or positively depending on how the Sun persons Sun, is aspecting the house persons planets). Nevertheless, in some cases the Sun person can help the house person re-evaluate how they spend money and handle their finances in general. In a romantic context, the house person can at times feel possessive over the Sun person. This is often because they see the Sun person as someone who they “value”. However, if the Sun person is someone who dislikes feeling restricted, they will at times feel overwhelmed by excessive displays of possessiveness. (Please note that this can go either way, it can also be the Sun person feeling possessive of the house person) Despite this, this a helpful overlay when it comes to the acquisition of material items and gifts.
Sun in partners 3rd house
This is a highly communicative and intellectual overlay. The Sun person can encourage the house person to explore matters related to short-distance travels, communication, writing, and mental processing. If words of affirmation are one of your primary love languages, 3rd house overlays are perfect for you. The Sun person often stimulates the house persons desire to communicate, learn, and explore their immediate environment. There can at times be a ‘sibling-like’ bond between the two, as there are likely to be many lively debates and discussions with this overlay.
Sun in partners 4th house
This can often prove to be a very emotionally intimate overlay. The Sun person can encourage the house person to explore their ancestry, heritage, or familial roots in some cases. Alternatively, the house person may feel as if the Sun person is someone who they can truly open up to. There can even be an emotional dependency that forms between the two people. There’s a sense of comfort and familiarity here (as with most overlays on an angle). In a platonic relationship, the Sun person can “feel like family” to the house person. However, in a romantic context, the House person can develop a strong emotional attachment to the Sun person. If there are other factors that support this, the two may even have the desire to live together.
Sun in partners 5th house
This is a very fun, flirty, and light-hearted overlay. These two likely enjoy each other’s company. The Sun person stimulates the house persons desire for fun, romance, and creativity. There can be mutual affection, attraction, and desire between the two. However, it must be noted that 5th house overlays (by themselves) are often not indicative of long-term relationships. However, they do help keep the “spark alive” in most relationships. There can be a great deal of affection and desire that is generated here. The desire is not raw and primal like 8th house overlays, it’s more of a playful or ‘smitten’ type of yearning. Moreover, the 5th house is also the house of children. Thus, children can be a theme here. Lastly, the Sun person can also encourage the house person to be confident in their self-expression. There can also be an emphasis on creativity and shared hobbies with this overlay.
Sun in partners 6th house
This overlay emphasizes routine, service, health, and productivity. The Sun person can make the house person aware of their routines and habits that may be negatively impacting their physical health. There is also a sense of dependability and responsibility that is generated with this overlay. However, planets that fall on the 6th/12th house axis, can also denote that one person tends to give more than they receive. Thus, feelings of resentment can emerge over time. Despite this, the house person often appreciates how helpful the Sun person is. There can also be an emphasis on work, pets, or physical health when they are together. The Sun person can encourage the house person to adopt healthier habits and a productive daily routine.
Sun in partners 7th house
The 7th house is the natural house of partnerships. Thus, when someone’s Sun falls into your 7th house, you may feel as if this person has all the qualities that you desire or look for in a romantic partner. The 7th house is also the house of contracts and business partnerships. Thus, it’s possible that the desire to be business partners can also emerge. Although, 7th house overlays generally yield positive results. The 7th house is also the house of open-enemies. Thus, there can at times be a “love-hate” dynamic between the two. Despite this, you can often feel a very strong ‘pull’ towards someone who has their Sun in your 7th house. Some astrologers assert that 7th house overlays can lead to co-dependency but I think it depends on the individuals involved.
Sun in partners 8th house
This can be an intense but highly transformative overlay. The Sun person often triggers a great deal of transformation within the house person (even if they are unaware of this). The Sun person can illuminate or bring attention to issues that are related to death, transformation, shared resources, taxes, and psychology, in the house persons life. In a romantic relationship, this can cause a great deal of sexual attraction. However, I would also look for 8th house overlays of Mars, Venus, and the Ascendant when it comes to sexual attraction that involves the 8th house. Furthermore, 8th house overlays are rarely ‘easy’ as they often evoke extreme feelings, reactions, and emotions. However, they can be deeply intimate and binding. It can be hard for the 8th house person to let the Sun person go. These two can connect on an exceptionally intimate level (both emotionally and physically). One person may even introduce the other to matters/mediums that are related to the occult or healing.
Sun in partners 9th house
The house person tends to learn a lot from the Sun person with this overlay. They may even idealize them or place them on a pedestal at times. The house persons belief systems and worldly views may change or solidify when they are around the Sun person. This is a very expansive overlay. Topics related to higher education, foreign travel, philosophy, and politics can frequently emerge. Adventure, exploration, education, and travel are key themes here. The Sun person can stimulate the house persons desire for travel and expansion. The world is their oyster. They tend to expand each other’s worldviews and challenge each other’s deeply held beliefs. They can spend a lot of time discussing religion, politics, foreign affairs etc.. (especially if this is accompanied by a 9th house Mercury overlay).
Sun in partners 10th house
This is often a good overlay if two people want to do business together. However, in a romantic context, the Sun person can motivate the house person to achieve all of their career goals and aspirations. In some cases, the Sun person can often show a lot of interest in the house persons career, status, and reputation. The Sun person may even take pride in being associated with the house person. There can be a great deal of admiration and/or respect generated with this overlay. At times, this overlay can have a superficial quality to it, as one or both people may be more concerned about how the other person enhances their reputation or status. However, if both people are exceptionally career or goal-oriented, this can be an overlay that brings them even closer.
Sun in partners 11th house
The 11th house is the house of gains, networks, friendships, worldly aspirations, and communities. With this overlay, a friendship can form between the two people. 11th house overlays tend to produce dynamics in which two people are very tolerant and accepting of each other. These two may eventually integrate their social circles or introduce each other to their respective friends. In some cases, the desire to participate in humanitarian work together can emerge. Although 11th house overlays are not seen as traditionally ‘romantic overlays’ , I actually have observed that they are often present in many long-term relationships (same with 9th house overlays), as the relationship is primarily built on a sense of mutual friendship and camaraderie. Both people are inclined to be tolerant of each other’s quirks and eccentricities with this overlay. The Sun person can introduce the house person to influential groups or networks .
Sun in partners 12th house
12th house overlays are always very interesting in synastry. Their most positive manifestations can denote a highly spiritual, forgiving, and compassionate bond between two people. However if the planet receives many difficult aspects , there may be elements of mistrust, illusions, confusion or even deception. When someone’s Sun falls into another persons 12th house, they can make the house person aware of their personal “blind spots”. One or both people may have to make some personal sacrifices to make the relationship work. In some cases, the Sun person can serve as a spiritual mentor to the house person. Individuals who are very spiritual often remark how 12th house synastry (or a significant transit to the 12th house) triggered their spiritual awakening. Moreover, there can be elements of fantasy or illusion that accompany 12th house overlays. You don’t always see people who have planets in your 12th house clearly. However, you can feel a very deep and ‘otherworldly’ connection to them. If both people are willing to do the work and have made piece with their shadow-sides, 12th house overlays can be incredibly intimate and spiritually healing.
Chart readings are still open for those who are interested! The link is in my bio :)
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joelhoney · 1 year ago
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#1 girl
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pairing: dbf joel miller x afab/sorority sister reader
kenny here... tumblr Blipped me u guys. but i loved this too much to let it waste into nothingness. so here we go again take two using an ancient blog i never even used (from 2016 mind u...) enjoy!
You're too wrapped up in sorority duties to remember somebody's supposed to pick you up and drive you home tonight. One pissed-off Joel, curious conversation, and cowboy hat later, your evening takes an unexpected turn.
warnings: no outbreak au, dbf!joel, self gratuitous age gap (21/51), shy reader w/ some bursts of confidence, blowjob (m receiving), handjob (f receiving), dirty talk, praise, degradation too..., overuse of pet names... must b all
Of all the ways you imagined spending your fifth day of spring break, the last was in your dad’s best friend’s pickup truck with lame rock playing dryly through the console radio. In fact, last is generous—the idea itself had never even been conjured in your head.
The reason why is because you and your dad’s best friend—Mr. Miller—don’t typically interact beyond the confines of dinners, mandatory laughter, and the occasional one-on-one about something like boys in college, or classes in college, or the drive to college. Nothing much had changed when you moved the brief drive away to UT Austin, and between you everything’s remained the same, even now in your senior year.
For instance, a break—summer, spring, winter—would begin with your parents picking you up and shuttling off to the house, and end with an affair of the similar sort. Quickly into your first year, though, you learned to always insist you either leave school late or leave home early for spring break to take advantage of campus parties, especially because your senior year had cemented your shiny new position as President of Alpha Phi.
Any officer position in a sorority already came with a good deal of responsibility, let alone the presidency; and in addition to having recently turned twenty-one, the role required you to exhaust every drop of social battery, every ounce of skill you had at party hosting and alcohol obtaining without the use of a flimsy fake.
The eliminated nerves of using fakes made you much less nervous during parties, which often led to you letting more loose than usual. This party you’re in was thrown by some frat on campus, but this house is your last place of four; first two pregames, then a bar, then here. At some point at the bar your sisters had surprised you with a fun gift for the night, so you’re also wearing a pink sash, onto which rhinestones spelling out #1 Girl have been glued with precision.
Already you’re dizzy, wiping clammy fingers on the stiff cotton of your tight tank top, the curve of your tits spilling over the Alpha Phi logo. It’s small on you, the hem high above your navel and higher above the loose, low hem of your denim shorts. If they fell low enough on your hips, the high arch of your pink thong would’ve shown itself—maybe it did at some point, you’re too loopy to care.
“Oh, no,” you’re saying, but you can barely hear yourself over the rap song playing and everyone singing along, “no, I hate Jäger.” You’re shaking your head at your best friend and Vice President, Lia, who raises two handfuls of the opaque liquid. She shakes her head, sets them down on the table you’re leaning against.
“Lighten up, duuude. We’re taking them to celebrate your first and last spring break as President.”
“Aw, fine,” you muse loudly, giving in. “Only this once.” Out of obligation and genuine gratitude, you allow yourself to stomach your least favorite drink—then another, and another, a bit of each shot dribbling down the column of your throat and stickily onto your chest.
Lia snaps at the red bra strap that peeks out of your tank strap, laughing. “Settle down, Prez.” A partygoer, rowdy as they come, roughly deposits a sweaty cowboy hat onto your head and you yelp in surprise, steadying it. Whoever gave this, I’m keeping it! you holler, laughing as you feed yourself a shot of something your tongue enjoys more.
Absolut crowds the inside of your mouth when you take it back, interrupted only when a hand comes to shake at your shoulder. In your rush to turn, you nearly hit them with your hat.
It’s Cole, a good friend and member of the frat whose house you’re currently getting tipsy in. His eyes are rimmed and the whole air of him smells like weed. He offers one greeting: “Yo.” His eyes slide down to your chest, where your tugged-down tank has exposed a few inches of your red bra’s lacy cups.
“Hey,” you say, the syllable sounding sticky. “Up here, you ass. Jägerbomb?” You offer a smile.
“‘M a’ight. Listen, some…” He shakes his head, like he’s trying to place what he’s here to tell you. Then he nods, having remembered—“Right. Some old guy’s out front asking for you.”
“Asking for me? Old… guy?” Your eyebrows scrunch together, mind foggy. “My dad?” Shit. You’d completely forgotten they’d be picking you up today or tomorrow. Maybe they’d been waiting for hours—it’s one-thirty, the clock on the living room mantel reads. 
“Nah, man, not your dad, this guy’s… he’s got a red pickup truck, um, he’s, like, he’s old looking.” He raises a hand above his own head. “Tall.” His voice is drawly with the weed high, but as soon as he said red pickup, you knew exactly who he was talking about. One look at your phone confirms it—five missed calls and a message, 11PM, sent by your dad: Joel’s in the area for work. He’s going out with buddies but can swing by the house to pick you up. I’m giving him your #.
“Fuck.” You blink. “Fuck! I gotta go.” 
You never usually have to pack shit to go home, considering the drive isn’t too far. Briefly you consider making a detour to collect things from your sorority house, but you decide to sacrifice the laptop and the few important chargers. So, armed with only your phone, you wrench your way out of the crowd, a few goodbyes thrown in your direction and back.
The front door is open so the partygoers spill onto the front yard, intermittent conversation littering the area. Along the pavement, frat guys’ Civics and and Priuses are parked beside an old looking red pickup truck; leaned against it is—
“Mr. Miller,” you blurt out when you’re closer to him, voice steady (your mind is just as well, shocked back to lucidity from his presence). “I’m sorry. I had no idea you’d be picking me up today—tonight—” You heave a sigh, apologetic, refusing to meet his eyes. “Sorry.”
His arms are crossed over his chest, the sleeves of his button-up rolled up to his elbows. Even from a few feet away you can make out the shape, the lines of muscle on his forearms. He looks tired, moody—more than usual—and your heart pangs with guilt at the idea that you could be the reason behind it. But despite your best—really, your best—efforts, your stomach still swoops the same way it did when you were seventeen and naive, enough to find next-door-neighbor Mr. Miller extremely handsome. Hell, extremely hot.
It didn’t make sense. You’d suspected your little crush would be that—an adolescent, childish thing, evaporating more and more into thin air with every drive made to campus. But he never stopped being handsome, never stopped his corny jokes and the pet names that got you warm every time you visited over break. You had plenty of eye candy on campus, athletes and gamers alike, and yes you’d been picky, but had managed to sleep with a select few—despite all of it, only the remnants of your fantasies of Mr. Miller satiated you when your hand creeps into the apex of your thighs late at night, lust wrangling shame into silence for a few minutes.
You blink and the train of thought is over—the real thing is here, eyebrows set low, mouth frowning.
“Kiddo,” he starts, his voice thin with exhaustion, “look, I’ve done my share of… drinkin’, and that. I get it. But you gotta…” He clicks his tongue, eyes looking your outfit up and down. “You gotta let me know, let your parents know, where you are, and if you’re okay. ‘Cause I really did not want to spend tonight drivin’ from house to bar, to bar to house, feelin’ like I was lookin’ all over Austin for you.”
“I know,” you supply quickly, nodding. Your hands, fidgety, find purchase on the fibres of the silk sash strung along your figure. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Miller. I didn’t check my phone the entire evening, and—”
“It’s okay.” He says, nonchalant, lifting himself off the side of the car to walk to the drivers’ side. Gruffly, he adds, “Car.”
You’re quick to tug the door open, settling yourself on the passenger seat and breathing nervously. Your legs are littered with body glitter, your chest with the tack of Jäger. You spot him outside, his walk slow. He’s annoyed—rightfully so—stopping just shy of the door to pinch at the bridge of his nose, his lips miming a slow exhale. When he finally wrangles himself to sit, it’s quiet for a minute, then another.
“Y’have fun?” He starts the car, thrumming it to life. You nod, then offer a verbal answer—yeah. He nods, wiping a palm over his face. “What were you up to?” 
“I, um… I organized a pregame for my sorority.” You toy with the rogue strands of denim of your shorts. “We went to a bar, after… then another… then, well.” You gulp. “Here.” The last question escapes you in a shaky, breathy squeak. “And you?”
“Hah, sure, kid. Had some contractor thing, half an hour from here. Then drinks with a coupl’a buddies from work. Could’ve been home by eleven-thirty,” he says roughly, driving through the still-vibrant streets of campus, “but it’s nearin’ two and I’m on a college campus.” The urge to apologize bubbles at your lips, high in your stomach, but you remain quiet. After a few stretches of dry silence, he asks again. “That party must’ve been real fun for you to leave your old man—and me—on radio silence, wun’nit?”
“Sure,” you manage, stammering. “We were celebrating my sorority presidency.” The dark scenery of Austin blurs past. 
“Oh, sorority presidency,” he repeats, both teasing and genuinely curious. “I did hear your dad mention you were in Alpha Phi, s’that right?” You nod. “What’s that, then? Do presidents get cowboy hats?”
Your face grows hot, hands reaching up to clutch at the rim of the hat atop your head. “No, this—somebody put it—it was a joke, Mr. Miller.” A huffy laugh escapes you. “Sorry.”
“Sweetheart,” he says, and you wrench the reminder he’s 51 he’s 51 he’s 51 through your head while he pauses, “‘m drivin’ you around Austin late at night, and I’ve known you for your whole life. How ‘bout we drop the Mr. Miller act, alright?”
“Oh. Okay,” you say. His hands grip the steering wheel firmly, and your eyes wander to his arms, to how he’s basically stuffed into the shirt he’s wearing, big and broad and bulky. His eyes remain focused ahead, so you let yourself indulge a tad bit more—lower, to the material of his jeans. It’s dark in the truck, so you can’t see much, just the flex of his thighs. “Joel.”
“Attagirl.” You chew at the inside of your cheek, already feeling arousal simmering in you, low and dirty. You’re going to soak through this godforsaken thong. “Mind if I make a pit stop?” You shake your head profusely, watch as he pulls into a gas station parking lot. “Want anythin’, girl?”
“N—” your lips form, but you scrap your original answer. “Gum, if they have it.”
“Be damned if they don’t.” He slams the door shut and you watch him enter the store, watch him through the glass panels. He’s so broad. You’d nearly completely forgotten how stupidly you liked him, and now it’s coming, throttling back full-force, especially with the thrilling aspect of it possibly coming to fruition. You are, after all, an adult. And so is he, paying for his shit with a tight-lipped expression, arms crossed again, arms big and—Jesus.
You squeeze your thighs together, willing yourself to get your shit in place when he pulls the door open again, his eyes scanning your seated figure. He tosses you the packet of gum, and you respond with a sweet thank you, Mr. M—Joel, and you fiddle with the packaging as he starts the car again, driving until scenery grows more and more familiar, closer to home.
“By the way,” he says, voice husky with the unuse of not talking for a while. “Think it’s best you spend the night at my house tonight, kid. It’s late. Later than late.” 2:44, the console digital clock reads in blinky red text. “Your parents don't want the door rattlin’ open at this hour, so I’ll let you in the guest room.”
“Oh,” you say. “Sure.”
“D’you have a change of clothes?” He asks, even if he knows you climbed into the seat with nothing but your phone and a cowboy hat. You shake your head and he tsks. “You’re barely covered, sweetheart. Best be careful walkin’ around when the night’s this chilly.”
Barely covered. You think of every possible response, but what leaves your glossed lips is the riskiest: “What do you mean, barely covered?”
You figure if he starts saying shit like what are you insinuatin’, kiddo? You better sleep at yours tonight instead, it’s an easy out—you’re turning the corner onto your street now, and your stomach is boiling with nerves, sticky and anticipatory. “I jus’ mean… it shows a lotta skin.” 
“It’s sorority merch, Joel,” you reply, half-amused and half-defensive.
“No, I”—he sighs, like he wants to backtrack what he’s just said—“I know, but… always worth somethin’ to be careful. Might catch a cold with all that leg… all that—you—showin’.” He parks in front of his house, this sizey, homey thing, and your heart flips knowing how familiar this place has been to you your entire life.
“I’m not going to wear winter gear to a spring break frat party.” You’re bolder, suddenly, but even if the statement is, your voice is level, meek, even. Joel nods, as if admitting defeat, and gets out of the car first; you follow, sneakers crunching against the asphalt as you follow him into the house.
“I hope,” he starts when you’re stationed beside him at the door, “I didn’t… offend you. I was jus’ concerned, is all.” Then he’s stoic again, slipping inside, straight to the kitchen to pour you a glass of water. He flicks a yellow light on and you squint when you get there, rubbing at your eyes to prevent them from aching.
You’re still rubbing at them when his gaze drops from your fussed-up hair and askew hat down to the shiny surface of your chest. Your goddamn top leaves him nothing to the imagination, your tits spilling out of it scandalously. The low cut even lets your bra peek through, red and bright and hey, you show up from college wearing these large university shirts and sweatpants—not this, never this. And your shorts, the way they’re really just a fucking belt, starting low on your hips and cut off high above your thighs.
Alpha Phi, the pink text on your white top reads on the left chest area. Right where your tits curve into the top, the slogan is printed: Union hand in hand. God, sororities and their fucking… quotable bullshit. And don���t get him started on the sash, this cutesy, frilly thing he wants to loop around your wrists so he can fuck you over the counter. He knows he can’t—it’s so wrong, so wrong. He’s known your dad for ages. 
But you… you're so tempting, a little minx, chirping Mr. Miller all sweet and apologetic, chest out on full display. He blinks when he hears your voice filter through the fog in his head. “—off?”
“What was that, sweetheart?” His eyes meet yours again and he feels a twinge of embarrassment at the way your bashfulness has somewhat melted to give way to the clear amusement on your face. You must’ve spotted the way he ogled you; he wasn’t exactly trying his hardest to be subtle, unfortunately. 
“D’you have something I can use to wipe myself off?” You gesture to your sticky collarbone area. “I got Jäger all over myself. Can’t handle the stuff.” You grimace at the memory, and he goes to grab a wet wipe; while waiting, you hoist yourself up onto the counter, bare legs swinging.
Joel turns to toss you the packet of wipes, but his throat dries before he can even call your name out. Your back is to him, and clearly you’re waiting for his return—you’ve busied yourself by sitting on his counter and letting the hot pink lace of your thong rise above the waistline of your shorts. Lord have mercy, he thinks to himself, adjusting his jeans as he walks back over to you.
“Wipes,” he says roughly, not anything else.
You accept the packet and smile shyly. “Can you…” you pause, the implication hovering over both of you, heavy. “Wait for me?” He nods, inviting. Warm. And he watches, inviting but not very warm anymore, the way you wipe over the expanse of your chest, over the curve of your tits, every other part of you dusted in glitter.
“So,” you say again. “Since we’re on first name basis now, Joel, I, um—I hope it’s okay to ask questions.”
“Sounds reasonable. Go for it,” he accepts. 
“When’s the last time you went to a party?” Your smile is mischievous. 
He chuckles, a huff of air. “...Long, long ago, kid. Back in my day, partyin’ meant beer, maybe a little weed… not that I'm complaining there, you understand.” He nods resolutely. “These days, a quiet home-cooked meal with just the people I really care about… is a party.”
“Wow, what an old guy answer,” you giggle. “Back in youuuur day.” Your raspy, honeyed voice wraps around the your with a teasing lilt.
“Oh, I’m old now, am I?” His stoic demeanor chips away when he laughs. “That makes you what, sweetheart? You’re barely a pup.”
At his words—at the utterance of pup—you roll your eyes and try to shift your seating so your thong doesn’t stick to your folds. “Okay, fine, next.” You’re not even wiping anymore, the material wrung into your fingers, which lay in a fist by your side. “When’s the last time you got shitfaced?”
He gives a grimace of a smile. “Aw… boy, it's been a while.” He comes closer, going from leaning on the opposite drawers to right beside you on the counter. You’re sitting and he’s leaning but still he’s taller, just a bit level. “But there was that one time back in my more adventurous days, when I was younger. A bachelor party wh… well, the details don't really bear talkin’ ‘bout in polite conversation.” He raises his eyebrows. “Why ya askin’ all this? What’s will all the last times?”
“I’m curious, is all.” You smile, leaning back; if his eyes drop just a bit, he’ll see right through your top, maybe even underneath the cup of your bra. “Okay, fine one last… last time.” You giggle, breathy. “When’s the last time you… had sex?”
The air shifts, and Joel clears his throat before chuckling. “S’none of your business, young lady. A gentleman is not raised to kiss and tell.”
“Oh, but he gets shitfaced n’ tells?” You test, pouting and leaning closer toward him so you can quiet your voice. “Come on. I won’t tell anyone I even asked.”
He sighs, contemplating. “Well… it’s been a while.” He gets his fair share of lays, when he goes out to bars with friends or the rare date, but nothing too drastic. It has been a few months. “But you didn’t hear that from me, understood? Now, let’s drop it.”
But you don’t drop it, you brat. “You’re like the born again 40-year-old virgin,” you tease smoothly.
“Try 51, honey,” he grunts out, depositing your dry wipes at the disposal across you. He turns back around, restrained. 
“And what, you don’t wanna change that?” No, he thinks—what he wants is to take you over the counter ’til you’re sobbing and sore.
“Hey now, don’t think I don’t think about it sometimes. But I jus’—I don't wanna get involved with no one, even though... Hell, if I met the right person, I might just change my mind. Ain’t that the way it goes?”
“That’s such an antiquated view of sex,” you quip boldly, pressing your arms to your sides. “What happened to just having one good fuck?”
His eyes flicker down then up. “Well, hey. Slow down with the cursin’, sweetheart. And what in the hell makes you think I don’t do that?” He crosses his arms, offering a raised eyebrow and an insufferably smug smile.
“You didn’t necessarily object when I called you a twice-over virgin.”
He chuckles. “There’s more than one way to let it all out, my girl. You don’t have to just go all in to hit the spot.” The thought of him using his own—or some girl’s, actually, hand, throat… to get off, gets you all hot. You want to be that girl. His girl.
“Like how?” You ask, tilting your head to the side.
“Old man like myself probably can’t offer tricks you’ll find… useful.” He grunts, prepares to go upstairs. He reaches over you for the packet of wipes and your proximity urges him to stop, savor the closeness before the rational part of him reminds him you’re his best mate’s daughter.
“Okay, fine,” you say sweetly, voice much quieter—reserved just for the space between you two. “One last, then.”
Mmm, he huffs affirmatively, greenlighting your request. Impatient.
“Since when did old men do that?” You ask, inquisitive, placing emphasis on his self-proclaimed old man title.
“What? Entertain l’il minxes like yourself?” He responds, intending to break your newly-built façade of smugness.
“No,” you respond coolly. “Pack nine inches.” Then you’re clambering off the counter and walking to the stairs. He inhales sharply at the sudden vulgarity of your words, watches every move, every little bounce of your pert ass under the tiny shorts, the wave of your hair, every flex of the ridden-up lace thong against your back.
You turn briefly. “Coming or what?” And then you slip upstairs.
He hears the pad of your footsteps grow quiet and shuts his eyes, letting his composure waver in your absence.
Had he known Harold’s little girl would turn out to be the world’s biggest fucking tease—Jesus Christ. “Lord,” he rasps under his breath, repeating a mantra, holding back the urge to palm himself through his jeans. “Lord, have mercy.” Then he follows you, already spotting something different—the open door at the end of the hall.
His open door. It’s the one that directly mirrors your parents’, a revelation they all had a good laugh at. Sometimes if a matter was so pressing, a well-aimed pebble to the glass window would get Joel’s attention well enough. The lights are flicked on, cool-warm, in his bedroom. You’re in his bedroom. 
Or you’re not. He walks in to find no trace of you, save for the scuffed white sneakers by the doorframe. He toes off his own boots and spots the walk-in closet light’s also been flicked on. 
“Christ, you’re quick. You’re s’posed to be in the guest room.” He gestures vaguely to the one on the left side of the hall, even if you can’t see him.
“I had to pee. And I needed something to sleep in,” you say politely from inside. He grunts softly to himself at the thought of you undressing in there, the thought of you pulling on something of his. 
“Get out of there,” he orders. “I’ll get you somethin’.” Under his breath he mutters, “S’my goddamn closet.”
You chirp okay but he adds anyway: “Hurry, out.”
So you do follow him, even follow the order to hurry, because you’re hasty in your exit, clutching the cowboy hat to your chest. “Sit.” He points to the bed, watches you set the hat next to yourself gingerly. And one last time he asks the Lord for mercy, quietly and in his head, before shutting off every other rational thought that had stopped him tonight. 
You follow suit, hat still clutched to your torso, and he slowly comes to stand just in front of you, your face level with the buckle of his leather belt. When you shift he catches sight of the side of your bra, the lace of it. Eyes cast to your bare thighs, you pipe up.
“By the way, Mr. Miller—Joel, I didn’t mean to say any of—I mean, I thought we could talk comfortably about it… that… stuff, but I took it too f—” 
“You’re damn fuckin’ right you took it too far.”
He spits it out roughly, harshly. Like he’s scolding you. A zip of shock goes through you—you hadn’t heard him swear so loud before. Maybe he is. “I give you a free ride home at half past one, give you water, give you a place to sleep for the night knowin’ damn well your momma n’ dad would both have killed ya if you stepped foot in that house wearin’ next to nothing. What do I get in return?” He looks down at you, two rough fingers jerking your chin to look up at him.
“I—” you squeak, your voice and confidence betraying you. You’ve soaked through your panties at his sudden switch in behavior. Like you’d broken a dam.
“I get a brat… whorin’ herself out to me like I’m not over twice her age.” He tuts, like he really is disappointed, and your heart almost drops. “I get all these damn questions about sex, like you think I’ll break and fuck you on my kitchen counter.” He was considering it. “All the teasin’, all the skirtin’ around in a thong and a fuckin’…” He shakes your chin. “S’there even anythin’ in that head of yours, honey?”
Your mouth’d been open. You shut it and lick over your lips. “Yeah,” you defend weakly. His hand lowers to stroke at the column of your throat, then to hook under the tight strap of your bra, peeking out under the white of your top. He sidles it back and forth.
“S’this why you asked me all those dumb questions downstairs, huh, sweetheart? ‘Cause you wanted me to pull your top open and fawn over this”—he yanks the hat away, revealing your torso underneath—“little show o’yours?” Your cleavage is sinful, downright—perfect, perky, inviting him to mouth at your tits. Your sash sits prettily above them and he can’t help but pull at it, too, jolting you toward him. 
“N—” you inhale sharply, letting him pull and push you around as he pleases. He observes the blinding glittery writing on the pink material and lets out a humorless, self-satisfied huff of laughter.
“Number… one… girl.” His rough thumb grazes over the divots of the rhinestones. “That’s jus’ about right, ain’t it?”
“Yes,” you reply, voice small. 
“I’m not sure I agree, baby girl,” he drawls. His touch is precise—he knows exactly where to go, what he’s doing—but rough, dirty, almost, and the huge size of his hands don’t help to support otherwise. He tugs down your tank top so it’s tucked underneath your bra, and you yelp, making a move to cover yourself. He laughs again—“Sure, go all shy on me like you haven’t been showin’ yourself off to me all night. Knees.”
You get off quick, so quick you’re dizzy when you steady yourself on two knees. Two lithe hands make their way to his belt but he steps backward, revels in your evident confusion, clumsiness, the flush high on your cheekbones. “Buckle down, sweetheart.”
“But—”
“No goddamn buts. Listen to me.” He ends up being the one to make work of his belt, and while he talks you have to bite your lip to keep from going slack-jawed at the sight of him. You’d been kidding about the nine inches thing, but Christ he’s huge, strained against the tight denim. He’s thick even under the layers of clothing, and all you want to do is choke on him. “You’re gonna let me use that mouth t’get off, first thing,” he grunts, like this is all some chore to him, “because I am not goin’ to put my cock in my best mate’s daughter.”
“How about,” you croak lightly, “your fingers, then?”
“Jesu—we’ll see.” He tugs his cock out then, and he’s fucking huge, he really is, his tip angry and flushed and being rubbed along your lips, sticking them up with his precum. He sighs contentedly, humming low, the vibration sent straight to your half-open mouth. You suck on the tip of him, watch a slow smile form on his face. “That sash oughta say somethin’ else.”
Your silence grants elaboration. “Number one slut, maybe.” You shift on your thighs, trying to hide how aroused you are at his mean behavior. But he can tell, he can watch the way your blinking slows, the way your eyes glazed over, glassy and teary from trying to take more of him. He doesn’t tell you to slow down, or go faster; he just watches, eyebrows knitted, focused. “Budge up.” 
A hand, big and calloused, threads through your hair and gives a tug, goading your mouth open so more of his cock slips past. Your jaw aches from the attempt alone, so you pull off before you start choking too much, tonguing at the parts of him you can’t reach—lower, until you’re laving at his balls. He grunts, pleasured, simmered down. Attagirl. Then you’re back, bobbing up and down, trying despite yourself to take all of him, until your eyes are watery and you’re spluttering, choked.
“Now this is…” He says, and it comes out in a contented little sigh, “a number one throat. Keep those pretty lips open, honey, ‘m gonna fuck them.”
You do, your achy jaw slacked as he begins bucking into your mouth, the sounds of your choking only spurring him on. He’s dominant, taking and taking, and you’re humiliated to find how wet you are, soaked through the lace of your thong and darkening the denim of your shorts.  The tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat only gets him to thrust even faster, watching tears fall from your eyes, streaky with mascara. His best friend’s daughter, taking dick like a fucking champ.
He thrusts harder, each sound emitting a nasty, incoherent noise out of you, choked little gasps that have him harder each time. Gonna fuck this throat raw, he mutters. Since that’s what you wan’ed, ain’t it? You reach up, light fingers massaging his balls, and then his hips stutter, and with barely any warning, you feel his hot seed shoot into your throat, little satisfied groans leaving the man above you.
You swallow what you can, limited by his dick still in your mouth. When he pulls out you lap at the cum left behind, circle your tongue around your lips, make a whole show of it. You speak again, your voice raspy and spent: “Please, my turn?”
He lifts you up and smirks at the way you yelp in surprise, tossing you onto the bed and pulling you back onto your knees, your back to his chest. He wrangles your shorts off, gives your ass a smack as he pulls them down, enough to expose what’s underneath. The stiff material gathers just above your bent knees, restraining you from moving much.
“D’you know what,” he says, still sounding angry—like he’s lecturing you, stern, “I could’ve been in bed, wakin’ up at six to work… instead I gotta teach this little brat a fuckin’ lesson. Your old man not teach y’enough manners?” He tugs your bra down, thumbs roughly at your pebbled nipples, wrenching a moan out of you. He’s hard again, dick poking into your ass, and fuck you want him in you.
“He didn’t,” you sniffle, pitiful. “Y’gotta teach me, Daddy.”
“Oh, she likes that, don’t she?” He grumbles, like the title is annoying, juvenile. The way his cock twitches tells you otherwise. “Shut up, baby honey. I got this.” He reaches up your thighs and the ticklish, pleasurable sensation gets you hot.
Joel, you whimper, seizing in on yourself. He grabs your other arm, pulls it back toward him so you remain open and pliant. Please, wait.
“No time for waitin’, not when you spend hours prancin’ around like a little whore, sweetheart.” Without preamble, he’s running his fingers up your thighs again, not stopping this time until his fingers are pressing into your clit, rubbing over the thin, soaked fabric of your panties. “And you’re so fucking wet for me. My number one girl, ain’t you?”
“Yea,” you babble dumbly. “Your number one girl.”
“Thaaat’s right. My girl needs her needy cunt filled up, don’t she? By Daddy’s fat fingers.” You nod along, drawn in by the vulgarity of his words, the way he spits them out. You’ve spent several nights fantasizing how his big, rough hands would feel on you—and you’ve been outproven. He’s so fast, so skilled with his fingers; they feel delicious in you. And you can’t stop thinking about all of those girls he implied he’s slept with, the way they probably got to this first. Lucky bitches.
He’s gotten you so wet the entire night, even moreso now, that your pussy is making obscene squelching noises with each pump of his fingers, these nastily loud noises that humiliate you, that turn you on even more, that make you drip all onto Joel’s linen sheets. Fuck, you whimper. He swats at your ass. No swearing, he’s saying.
“Look up for me, honey. Up at the window.” Outside, the sun’s beginning to crawl over Austin, just the faint blues and yellows of early morning. You realize you know this because his curtain’s been pulled open—by him, earlier, before any of this even started, you assume. And the only other thing you can see other than the sky and the sliver of the neighborhood is your parents’ window.
“No,” you plead, looking down. He doesn’t let you, tugs you back up to look by your hair. He knows your parents won’t be up ’til seven-thirty latest. But you don’t know that, and for now, you don’t have to.
“What then, huh, sweetheart? When they go to check on the weather n’ they see their best friend poundin’ their young daughter? What’d they think?” You jerk away, overcome with pleasure and embarrassment at the imaginary situation. You feel his fingers pump in and out of you, filling you up. They’re probably thick and hot, glistening each time they come out. You’re tightening up; you’ll cum soon, make a mess on his hand, which already drips with slick. “So you better hurry. Better make a mess on me soon.”
“I am, I’m—I’m gonna,” you moan. You’re wrapped up in the way his fingers play you just the right way. You’re so close to the surface, and you’ve been wanting this for way too long, so you nod, let yourself get carried away by his words, let yourself give in, spreading your legs as wide as they can go as he fingerfucks you, working out the tension that’s been building up for forever. 
“That’s my number one girl,” he grins into your neck, and you’re convulsing release onto his hand, wetting it even further. He wraps a hand around your waist, keeps you close to his figure, his erection at the small of your back. “That’s it, honey. Did so well for me.”
“I want it,” you say meekly. “Even if they see.”
He groans. “Sweetheart, you must think real low of me to believe I’d put my cock anywhere near Harold’s daughter’s pussy.”
You tug your panties fully down, just enough so they fall off on their own the rest of the way, and guide his slick hand behind yourself, pressing his finger first into your folds again, sensitive, and then up toward your tighter hole.
You feel his breath tighten behind you when you say: “How ‘bout there?”
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farshootergotme · 3 months ago
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Now that I have the confidence to send you asks, fully expect me to bug you periodically from here on out
Anyways- do you think Dick qualifies as a scapegoat? Cause I 100% think he's a scapegoat. People always try to shove the 'golden child' role onto Dick, and it always confused me cause like. He doesn't fit it at all if you actually look into what a golden child is.
Dick is definitely one of the scapegoats of the batfamily (Jason being the other) and it makes me sad that people always label him a golden child when he's the exact opposite. Seriously- he's hit, beaten, unfairly blamed, lashed out at, not told about important things (Jason or being replaced, Jason dying, Jason's funeral, probably other things, i wouldn't be surprised), etc. Definition of a scapegoat to me.
It's also why I hesitate to label him the 'favorite' even when the comics try to say otherwise. Mostly because... favorite children aren't really treated this way. Favorite weapon, maybe, as I've said in a post I've made before, but that's it. Bruce wouldn't kill for him or any of his kids. He's come close, yeah, but he's also come close to killing the Joker too after Jason's death and had to be threatened into not doing it. Every time, it's in a strong surge of emotion, and the second Bruce thinks rationally- well, he doesn't do it. Dick isn't at all unique, Bruce wouldn't kill for him either.
I think Bruce is the most proud of Dick, and has a unique relationship with him due to knowing him the longest and the parentification, but I don't think that makes him the favorite. Maybe to the other batkids, but probably not in reality.
I don't think Bruce really HAS a favorite- Dick is probably the closest to it, but still.
Though, if you wanna play around with angst and fanon ideas, maybe both Dick and Jason are the favorites and that's why Bruce treats them the worst? Dunno, it'd make a fun fic, even if it's not really grounded in canon (though I ignore RHATO and Comic UTRH).
Idk. Just,, gestures. Dick is a scapegoat to me.
Hope my 2 am rambling made sense lol
Okay, I see you, but I'll argue:
Dick Grayson is both the scapegoat and the golden child.
Now, you might not believe this since he doesn't tend to be both at the same time, and it isn't common for these roles to exist within the same individual. But Dick Grayson is praised and favored as much as he's blamed and pushed.
A golden child is the one who carries most of the expectations in the family. The parent expects them to be perfect, make no mistakes, take on roles they're pushed into with no issue (thus parentification can happen), and continue on and on to be good enough and meet the criteria so they don't make the parent disappointed.
The love is conditional hence they develop this unhealthy perfectionism and self-esteem and self-worth issues that will follow them till adulthood even when they're out of that environment and living their own lives.
The reason why a parent might choose a specific child (or children) to be the favored one is because they tend to see this child as an extension of themselves. And consequential to this, they will project their insecurities onto said child and force them to improve—be the best—where they fall short. All of their capabilities are overvalued, making the parent see them as special and much better than the rest, causing the unrealistic expectations a child must hold and fulfill so as not to “fail” their parent(s).
Although this child might seem like the favorite and who could do no wrong on the outside, the love they receive isn't something they can take for granted.
When a golden child underperforms or isn't as good as they're expected, the parent’s demeanor might change. They will feel the disappointment and fear this might cause the treatment they get to change. Sometimes the child might even fear abandonment or rejection from their parent as a result of their failures.
The mix of all this turns into a person who's over-competent, hard-working and someone that tends to take charge of things so they aren't at risk of failing, making them ‘natural’ leaders in any group they might be part of.
Sounding familiar yet?
Now, let's move on to the scapegoat:
A scapegoat child is the one that is blamed by all the things that go wrong in the family. They are constantly criticized and shamed by things they might've not even been part of, but somehow they're now involved and taking all the blame for the others so there are no consequences for anyone but them.
(All the blame also messes with their perception of certain events, making them prone to self-blame for the problems that occur in the family or their behaviors towards them.)
The scapegoating in the family may be due to subconscious projection from the parent when they're dealing with difficult emotions such as shame, guilt, rage, etc. They feel threatened by their own feelings and therefore they will try to escape from them by externalizing those feelings and making them their scapegoat’s problem.
Because of this treatment, the scapegoat might become an outsider in the family, feeling excluded and isolated from the rest. And for this, when push comes to shove and they're going through a rough patch, they will not have any reliable support they can go to inside the family as they'll be ignored or otherwise unfairly treated, having their feelings be invalidated.
Like the golden child, there's some aspects the scapegoat shares with the former:
Being treated differently by the parent/family.
Having unrealistic expectations placed upon them.
Being pushed into roles or responsibilities the child isn't meant to take.
Fear of expressing how they feel.
Self-worth issues and low self-esteem.
Although they're usually roles that are considered opposites, they aren't as incompatible as one might think. A child can alternate between being a scapegoat or the golden child, and this usually happens when the parent is very emotionally unstable, commonly due to a disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD).
(I have so many thoughts about the latter applying to Bruce, but I will refrain from elaborating to not make this longer than it needs to be)
Having all I've said until now in consideration, I'm sure you've noticed how Dick meets both criterias—dare I say the golden child more often than the scapegoat.
Bruce is always speaking about how Dick is “better than him” and “the thing he's ever done right”, but in both of these statements you can see he's taking who Dick is and making it as something that's part of him, comparing Dick's accomplishments to his and putting him in this pedestal, and because of this projection happens and Bruce starts seeing Dick as an extension of himself.
This is why, when he or Dick fail, Dick will suddenly become the scapegoat, contrasting with the former golden child position he was in.
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Here you can see the high expectations, praise for his accomplishments, his siblings feeling like Dick is better than them (i.e. treated differently than the rest), and you can also see how when he doesn't meet the expectations, he's met with disappointment (see: Alfred disappointed he's not as bright as he usually is) or judgment (see: Bruce angry at him because he isn't committing to his cause as much as he expects him to).
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And these are examples of Bruce being too harsh on Dick and expecting him to do better, blaming him for his brother's death, and in result Dick having a habit of blaming himself and accepting mistreatment, thinking it must be his fault.
More often than not, Dick is put on a pedestal by his family and even his friends sometimes. They praise and love him, but when there's occasions in which he's acting less than perfect, the treatment towards him can change.
Dick Grayson can be the golden child as much as he can be the scapegoat.
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arielleslipgloss · 9 months ago
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It Girl Habits!!
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(none of these photos are mine)
“You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours.” - Anne Hathaway
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Stay busy!! Do you see those it girls like Serena Van Der Woodsen scrolling on their phone all day? No, you rarely do. It girls are always busy doing something. So, therefore do some self care, study, workout, read, journal, go shopping, go on solo dates, hang out with friends, paint, have a dance party, etc. Do fun activities and take care of yourself. Another example of a busy it girl is, Elle Woods. Elle Woods wasn’t becoming one with the couch everyday. She had goals to achieve. She had people that doubted her to prove wrong. So get up! Start planning out your day or week. Start making goals!!
Have goals! You wanna know why you’re bored all the time? Well, it’s because you have no goals. You practically don’t have a life because all you do is sleep, eat, scroll, and repeat. You’re wasting time doing nothing. You could’ve had a clean room by now. Maybe you could have finished that book. Whatever it is, you could have had it. You could’ve been 1% better than yesterday. You don’t though because you have no goals. That time you’re wasting, can be used toward your goals. It can be used toward your dream life. Maybe, you do have goals? Yet you don’t even take action. What are you waiting for? For someone to do the work for you? No, get up and start taking action.
Be mindful of what you consume online!! Just like how who you surround yourself with affects you. What you consume online affects how and who you are. For example, listening to sad music makes you feel sad. Music is meant to tell a story that you feel deeply. You may not even relate to the song, but you feel as if you do. So, you become sad and continue to listen to sad music. When listening to uplifting music you gain confidence. You still feel like you relate to the song. Just with a more positive effect. As for what you watch and read. Don’t read/watch stuff that will put you down. Watch/read content that will help you.
Complimenting yourself every time you pass the mirror!! Some may say it’s cringy, but DO IT. Would you rather be cringy or be the best version of yourself? Exactly, so either say it out loud or in your head. Say it even if you might not believe it. Say it because you deserve it! Try to be creative with your compliments. Not all compliments have to be about your looks. It could be your personality, your thoughtfulness, how creative you are, etc. Also loosen up, be your own hype girl. When you see the mirror you could say, “Omg I look like the main character.” “Oh wait, I am!” Lastly, don’t forget to have fun with hyping yourself up.
Mediating or journaling when stressed!! When stressed we start to feel a lot of tension. So, that’s why meditating is so important to do when stressed. All you have to do is sit down and focus on breathing. Plus, It calms down your nerves, relaxes the mind, body, and soul. Not just that, but plenty of other benefits. Which includes, helps focus, betters mood, helps you sleep, slows down aging, etc. As for journaling, it’s practically free therapy! That is, at least in my eyes. All you need is a notebook, a pen or pencil, and yourself. Journal what’s making you stressed or anxious. Let all your emotions out, write freely. Your words don’t have to make sense. Nor do you need to have perfect writing. In fact, when you journal it may be all over the place. However or whatever you write, just let it out.
Expressing your gratitude!! Life is so beautiful and has so much meaning. So, either write down what you’re grateful for or thank God. You are so blessed to be here today. That is only just one thing to be grateful for. There are so many things to be grateful for, air, family, friends, your mind, being born as you, water, books, food, shoes, clothes, and so much more!! Express your gratitude everyday. It could be the most random thing like, a poster. As long as you’re truly grateful, then express it.
7. Having a low screen time!! Cliché, I know but it’s true. Your devices are consuming you. Think about what you use your device(s) for. Good examples are, for work, for motivation, tips, workout videos, inspiration, knowledge, and maybe even faith reasons. Now here are bad examples, procrastinating, sinning, hating on others, scrolling, because you’re bored, to watching videos of people that make you insecure, and lastly to cope with something. Which to clarify, trying to cope by using your phone, I understand somewhat. On the other hand, it could make what you’re coping with worse. I say that because there are so many studies on why our phone is bad for us. Seriously, so many and we are completely unaware of the damage it does. So for that reason, try to use your phone only for the good. I know you’re probably going to make an excuse. Which we all do and that’s ok, but please try.
8. Encouraging yourself to do better!! You should always be working hard to be 1% better everyday. So on the days you don’t feel like doing anything, encourage yourself. Show up for yourself, you will be so happy after. Lastly, trust yourself to get whatever done!!
9. Having a healthy sleep schedule!! For me, I try to aim for 8-11 hours of sleep. For others, it may be 7-10 hours of sleep. Whatever makes you feel the most well-rested should work. Just try to be consistent and mindful of the time. I also recommend to be off your phone for at least 30-60 minutes before going to bed. It will improve how you sleep a lot. That also being said, try not to be on your phone when you wake up either. It’ll help improve your health by a lot. Especially, the health of your brain and eyes. As I had mentioned, try to be consistent. Set a certain time to go to bed and turn off your phone. Then, get your lovely beauty sleep gorgeous!!
10. CLEANING!! The last habit is, cleaning. Now, I don’t just meaning cleaning your room or house. I mean even your body and mind. For starters, a clean room equals a clean mind. Therefore, stop procrastinating and start cleaning. Turn on some fun music and maybe even romanticize cleaning. Just make it fun and DEEP clean. I know someone reading this has been procrastinating on cleaning. You know who you are, so clean everything. Then, for cleaning the mind a little extra meditate. I feel like I already went over a bit about meditation. So lastly, for the body, take your showers consistently. Also, please wear deodorant. I see way too many people nowadays not wearing deodorant. Seriously, wear your deodorant.
“Always walk around like you have on an invisible tiara on.” - Paris Hilton
Remember, always apply lip gloss and stay pretty! Love you, dolls 💋
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Info I used: https://reallifecounseling.us/blog/benefits-of-meditation
My Pinterest: @arielleslipgloss
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r0-boat · 3 months ago
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Yandere Sitri headcannons
Aishite, Aishite, Aishite! Motto, Motto!
Cw: yandere themes, NSFW, baby trapping, Somnophilia,
Yandere!Sitri x reader
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As a being who studied in Hades, perhaps maybe even lived in Hades at some point no matter how long he has lived and served under the king of wrath He will never get rid of is that true deep feeling of envy that gnaws at his stomach like a venomous green-eyed beast. As he stared with eyes full of cold, callus hatred watching all of his colleagues and even other kings fun over you and fight for your attention.
Even Satan would not be safe, as Sitri a loyal Butler and follower his adoration for the King of Gehenna slowly being consumed by his envy of him.
He self-proclaims as himself being the closest to Solomon before his death. And not only that he falls deeper in love with you everyday. It was not just love It was borderline worship. Something that only angels could notice since this deep twisted feeling of loving something to the point of insanity was all too familiar to them.
Sitri was a devil. He couldn't lie to you directly, but he could still deceive. He could still manipulate you in another way, spin half-truths, and try slowly but surely to gain your trust to have you in his arms finally. He knows he'll have a lot of competition to win someone as precious as Solomon's daughter, But he feels confident studying in Hades. That is ruled under envy. He felt as though he had been training for this moment.
As the right-hand devil of a king so possessive as Satan, he has to work in the shadows. He does not have the luxury of being so public with his true desires. And how he thinks of everyone as savage dogs getting in the way. He must ensure that he should be your only choice in the end even if He needs to twist your mind to make you think lies.
However as a devil. The hardest thing he has to do is hold back every aching desire he has in him to not grab you hold you in his arms and drag you to the darkest depths of Gehenna's dungeon so no one, not even the king can find you. Scaring you away would be a death sentence or worse being pinned as a threat to not only your safety but the safety of hell itself.
So he bites his time patiently, waiting patiently, patiently! and patiently laying every card just right so he could snatch you up in the end. Occasionally, his mask does slip, something he could only do when he's giving you his "devil's energy" where you can write it off as some kind of kink. Or filling you up and hoping it takes. He knows very little on human anatomy but he does know that you would never want to leave if you knew you had a baby with a devil.
Hopefully by that time he'll have all his plans would be meticulously drawn out. And hopefully if all goes well after the war he will confess his true love to you and if you don't accept him you won't have a choice He will not leave you He will not let you leave him like last time.
Sometimes he will indulge in his desires sneaking into your room to listen to that soft low drum of that precious heart of yours. By that point he would be slipping more herbs in your tea to help you sleep deeper as he climbs into your bed to feel your body. Pressing his bare skin against yours he feels his cock hardening. Your name not your nickname, Your name slips from his lips like a silent prayer as his cock fucks your plush thighs.
Other times, he will keep notebooks filled to the brim with information about the type of toothpaste you use. He will know you and your body down to the kilogram. And, of course, Sitri will use that information to try to gain your favor.
And oh, how he would worship you; serve you like royalty and a lover. How he dreams of waking up to you snuggling against him so close that the only thing he can hear is the sound of your hearts intertwined, beating as one as you snuggle into his chest.
He's as intelligent as he is delusional, Don't even attempt trying to manipulate him He will see right through you. He will not punish or break you.
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gffa · 11 months ago
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I've been a little slow on getting out new STAR WARS fic recs out, but in my defense it's because I've been reading a bunch of longer fics lately. In the spirit of "there's a special feeling to those fics that consume you and make you stay up until 3am because you can't put them down", here's a list of some of the ones I've loved or am in the middle of reading and they are haunting my thoughts and I need to inflict that on everyone else. Whether you're looking at a long upcoming trip and need some good reading material or avoiding your feelings by sinking into fic or just because you like reading, I hope you'll find something here! Including a bonus underrunning theme of throwing in a bunch of Jedi-loving fic to continue my agenda of making Jedi-centric fandom a more fun place to be. 30k+ is the minimum and this isn't all of my favorites, but it's a great list of "I have a week off to kill and I want to be in a fic coma by the end of it".
STAR WARS FIC FOR WHEN YOU NEED TO KILL ABOUT TEN HOURS WORTH OF TIME AND WANT TO HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT FICTIONAL PSYCHIC SPACE WIZARDS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT:
✦ Out with Lanterns by SkyeBean, mace & ahsoka & plo & shaak & cast, 312.5k     In another universe, Jedi Masters Plo Koon and Depa Billaba decide a Padawan could do Mace some good. It takes a while, but he eventually agrees. When he takes Ahsoka Tano as his Padawan, Mace knows that he's broken through a Shatterpoint and changed the course of a life. How, he doesn't know. ✦ Reprise by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & mace & yoda & anakin & cast, time travel, 558.9k wip     Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. ✦ Take it from the top and try again by mauvera, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & padme & mace & shmi & dooku & cast, time travel, 112k wip     Five years into his self imposed exile on Tattooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi is gifted the chance to go back and bring hope back to the galaxy. With hindsight on his side, he fully intends to save his master, save his padawan, make some new and old friends again, prepare the Jedi for a war they’ll hopefully never see and begin to pull apart all the many tangled threads of the Sith Lord’s plans. Should be relatively easy. Right? ✦ Post Order 66 Exile AU by Livsy, obi-wan & anakin & cast, 46k     Alternatively: after a failed order 66, in which many Jedi still died but the Sith were defeated, an exiled warrior and a boy wander a distant planet and attempt to get along. ✦ Remedial Jedi Theology by MarbleGlove, obi-wan & anakin & jedi & cast, 51.3k     Let us consider the fact that the Jedi Order is a monastic religious organization based out of a temple, with five basic tenets of faith. ✦ Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by stonefreeak, obi-wan & anakin & padme & yoda & palpatine & bail & dooku & mace & quinlan & vokara & ahsoka & cast, 124.5k wip     By an old Republic law, all members of the Jedi High Council are senators in the Galactic Senate, and can thus be voted in as chancellor. A Senator from a less prominent planet has had enough of Chancellor Palpatine's incompetence and calls for a Vote of No-Confidence and the installation of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi as Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic. This one action becomes the catalyst that changes the direction of the galaxy. ✦ What We've Become by Vinyarie, vader & ahsoka & cast, 82k     Darth Vader and Ahsoka’s fight on Malachor takes a different path, and Ahsoka actually is able to save her master. Or rather, she’s able to convince him to save himself. Diverges from canon in the last few minutes of Twilight of the Apprentice and goes increasingly AU from there.
✦ time to change the road you're on by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & luke & leia & han & ghost crew & cast, time travel, 93.6k wip     The end of the Clone War is near - the fall of the Republic even nearer. Anakin Skywalker, caught up in the events that lead to the rise of the Empire and the loss of everything he holds dear, finds himself sent nearly two decades into the future. Ahsoka Tano, still coming to painful terms with the true fate of her former master, is - not exactly happy to see him. But the Force works in mysterious ways - and the future is not nearly as set in stone as they've been lead to believe. Multi-chapter AU, Rise of the Empire/Rebels-era. ✦ narrower than a razor's edge by bereft_of_frogs, obi-wan & dooku & qui-gon & anakin & sidious & cast, 30.2k     Dooku tips his hand ten years earlier because he can't stand the thought of his former apprentice's murder, and that might just be enough to save everyone...if it doesn't get them all killed first. ✦ soften every edge by gigglesandfreckles, obi-wan & ahsoka (& anakin), major character death, 48.1k     "Rejoice!" the galaxy says, in the wake of war and the dawning of peace. "How?" Obi-Wan asks. "No," Ahsoka says. (or: Obi-Wan & Ahsoka learn to live on.) ✦ hunting toward heartstill by blackkat, mace/cody & plo & fives & shaak & obi-wan & anakin & rex & cast, 207.2k     Plo has an idea. Mace agrees, and everything snowballs right into hell from there. (Or: Mace and Cody get married in order to give the clones citizen status. Before they can focus on that, though, they're going to have to deal with ancient Sith artifacts, evil prophets, plots to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor, lost planets, monsters warped by Sith alchemy, inconvenient , and Darth Sidious turning his eye on a potential new apprentice. Just...not in that order.) ✦ Cataclasm by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & waxer & cast, 63.1k wip     For reasons unknown to all but himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Jedi Order in the midst of the Clone Wars, taking with him a single clone. Anakin Skywalker has been unofficially tasked by the Order to find Obi-Wan and bring him home. Unfortunately for Anakin, it seems his former master is always ten steps ahead of him. ✦ Unexpected Awakening (The Rewrite) by Rhiw, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & feemor & bruck & jango & cast, time travel, 135.1k wip     The life of General Kenobi is cut short at the hands of his Padawan, but the sight that greets his eyes upon awakening is not that of blinding light of the Force, but the Jedi Temple he knew when he was still a youth. As he struggles to understand the path laid out before him, Obi-Wan unwittingly captures the attention of a singularly unusual Temple Guard, and that of a reluctant Qui-Gon Jinn.
✦ Knightrise by deviantaccumulation, obi-wan & ahsoka & satine & yoda & cast, 89.4k wip     There is no battle on Mustafar or in Coruscant's senate building. Instead, a small but still alive Jedi Order rises from its ashes on Mandalore. ✦ Fire and Ice by Yesac, obi-wan & anakin & cast, 111.9k     Anakin wins the duel on Mustafar, but doesn't kill Obi-Wan. Along with Padme, Obi-Wan finds himself living in a chaotic world where the man he thought he knew has become the thing he swore to destroy. Can Anakin be turned back? If so, what then? ✦ Better That a Millstone by Icarus_is_flying, obi-wan & luke & anakin & leia & cast, 86.7k     Vader discovers Luke and Obi-Wan on Tatooine when Luke is one year old and attempts to reclaim the family he threw away. Obi-Wan is less than pleased, and Luke and Leia? They have their own ideas about how their future should play out. ✦ Bloodlines by KCKenobi, obi-wan & anakin & dooku, 35.8k     When an explosion traps them in the same doomed escape pod, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Dooku are stranded together on Tatooine. The goal is simple: cooperate long enough to survive, and not a second longer. But a shared past has a way of connecting the people we think we know—and bloodlines run deep. [or: your classic family road trip across a desert planet, except your grandpa is, you know, a Sith Lord. And now he's sort of starting to bond with your Jedi dad. And that might be an issue.] ✦ When Darkness Seems to Hide This Place by IllyanaA, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & rex & cast, 136k wip     After killing three of the Jedi Order's best and brightest, Palpatine's fight with Jedi Master Mace Windu goes shorter than expected. Afraid he's lost his chance at recruiting a new apprentice, Sidious unleashes Order 66 across the galaxy, but, per their programming, the Clone Army is not to harm Anakin Skywalker. After witnessing the most painful loss he's ever experienced and injured at the hands of his captors, Anakin is ready to die like the rest of the Jedi, though not before getting his vengeance. ✦ Precipice by shadowsong26, obi-wan & anakin & padme & luke & leia & bail & ahsoka & rex & cast, 253.6k     An AU in which Anakin Skywalker does not follow Mace Windu and the others to Palpatine’s office after they leave to arrest the Chancellor. As a result, he doesn’t get that final push over the edge, and doesn’t Fall. ✦ Averting Galactic Destruction by kj_feybarn, obi-wan & anakin & quinlan & rex & cody & fives & dogma & wolffe & plo & shaak & dooku & sidious, time travel, 44.3k     AKA The Time the Force Sent Obi-Wan Back in Time and Quinlan Vos kept him from Going Kamikaze because let’s be Honest, Being Forced to Come Back in Time Would Suck.
✦ Into the Archives by skygawker, obi-wan & anakin/padme & palpatine & cast, 104.9k wip     After hearing the legend of Darth Plagueis the Wise from Palpatine, Anakin decides that his best chance to save Padme is to break into the restricted Holocron Vault of the Temple Archives to search for information about Plagueis. Predictably, all does not go according to plan. Revenge of the Sith AU. ✦ Live To Fight Another Day by raemanzu, spica_tea, cody & rex & jesse & kix & obi-wan & anakin & fox & cast, 396.9k wip     Clones have their place in the universe, beyond the schemes of Palpatine. Events conspire to place Rex on the path of a new fate, one which will affect the future in ways not even the Jedi could foresee. Loyal to source material and characterizations. Canon-divergent. Starts between seasons 5 and 6 of TCW and explores Rex’s reaction to Fives’ dying words and subsequent events building toward Order 66. Variety of canon characters. No ships. Very Ace and Aro. Strong focus on certain friendships (Rex and Cody, Jesse and Kix, etc) with those friendships playing major roles. Thematically about how the clones navigate loss, trauma, the concept of their enslavement, their identities, etc amongst the larger active plot threads. Content warnings for war-related PTSD, trauma, combat injuries, and all around war-related angst etc in later chapters. ✦ Life and What Comes After by Ibelin, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme & cast, 177.2k wip     Obi-Wan dies on Jabiim. Anakin blames himself, doesn't know how to go on and yet - he does. Maybe the Force rewards that kind of thing, or maybe he just gets lucky, but when a mission lands Anakin on a vaguely familiar planet, he gets a second chance to do what he knows he should have done in the first place: save his master. (And maybe a chance to save the galaxy, too.) ✦ Knight-Errant by zinjadu, anakin & ahsoka & obi-wan & padme & rex & jedi & clones, 315.8k     AU - The Jedi Who Knew Too Much. Rex decides to stay "in pursuit" of his Commander; he jumps. Now, with backup, Ahsoka navigates the lower levels and deals with Ventress. Meanwhile, Anakin takes the Order to task, finds a little more support, and things turn out a little differently for everyone. And this is just the beginning. ✦ the massive machinery of hope by Killbothtwins, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & shmi & jedi, time travel, 150.1k     After the end of the war with the Empire, Obi-Wan wakes up in his twelve-year old body. Now all he needs to do is convince everyone he's psychic, trick his Master into taking him on before he's sent to Bandomeer, redeem a few bad guys, and try not to have a nervous breakdown. Pretty easy. It's not like the Sith are lurking on the horizon, waiting to devour the Jedi Order.
✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & ahsoka & padme & cast, time travel/body swap, 120k     The Daughter has a bad day and it irrevocably changes the fate of the galaxy, twice over. Or; ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ In All The World by Kjellarnen, obi-wan & anakin & cast, 144.8k wip     The story of how Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi tamed each other, from Naboo to Anakin's early days at the Temple. ✦ In Another Life by KCKenobi, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme, time travel, 52.3k     Eleven years after the rise of the Empire, a favor to a friend sends Obi-Wan traveling through the multiverse. He encounters different versions of the galaxy and of himself—including one in which Anakin never turned to the dark side. Obi-Wan and this Light Anakin are forced to work together to stop the creation of a disastrous Empire weapon. But as they move through different versions of reality, the timelines become more and more twisted—and the harder it is to distinguish who they are from who they might have been. And—to find their way home. ✦ The Intruder by Hollyoakhill, obi-wan & original clone characters, 82.5k     When a vicious attack from a strange, indestructible monster traps them on a derelict star destroyer, a young clone trooper fresh from Kamino join forces with Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi to find a way to escape. ✦ Conceal Me What I Am by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & padme & yoda & mace & palpatine & quinlan & cast, omegaverse, NSFW, 108.3k     Separatist Propaganda is turning the Republic against the Jedi Order and the Senate sees no choice but to join in a political alliance to fight dissent on a unified front.An alliance is proposed through an arranged marriage,between a Jedi Knight and Republic Senator. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are chosen as representatives of the political union by Darth Sidious, meant to bring ruin to the marriage and the public's support of the Jedi,for Obi-Wan Kenobi is not the Beta he claims. But even Sidious does not know of the secret Anakin Skywalker keeps, that he is not the Alpha the galaxy believes him to be. ✦ Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 95.9k     During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone.
✦ Invictus by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 40.3k     "He is the balance, the other half, the completion to Skywalker’s soul, a perfect dyad in the force. But while Kenobi is a simple answer, the force also sees the difficulty of the pair coming together in balance. The foundations of the galaxy they exist in pull at them, threatening to intervene in their unity. But this is also a simple problem, for the force is far greater than the foundations of a single galaxy, for it is the foundation of all. So the force enacts its will, to bridge the pair over a span of moments, of years, of eternities, and Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi will fall in love, have fallen in love, and are falling in love." ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 121.2k wip     In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker's miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. But darkness is generous, and it is patient. ✦ Lex Talionis by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & dooku & rex & cast, NSFW, 187.1k     The ancient Galactic Republic is dying slowly—an ugly death of corruption, sprawl, and decay—with the sin of slavery hanging over its every triumph. The beleaguered Jedi Knights are too few to adequately patrol and police the entire Republic, and are faced with complacency and greed at every turn. Born into a crumbling and stagnant galaxy, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are faced with the greatest challenge of all: themselves. Obi-Wan likes rules and control. When the galaxy around him stops playing by the rules, what is a Jedi to do? Anakin needs rules and restraint. When the galaxy around him conspires to set him loose, what is his Master to do? Falling slowly or falling fast, falling through lust or falling through wrath—it all leads to delusion and moral decay. What can be born from the ashes? ✦ Atlas of Our Ruin by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, time travel, 230.8k     Both the past and the future casts long shadows. Obi-Wan and Anakin learn that the hard way, when a mysterious holocron flings them backwards and forwards in time, forcing them to confront painful truths. But the time-travel is only the beginning… ✦ Seed by bell (belldreams), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 44k     When Anakin falls prey to a lethal poison, Obi-Wan has no choice but use all his resources to heal him-- no matter how reluctant he is in administering the antidote.
✦ wicked thing by imaginarykat, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & cast, nsfw, sith!obi-wan, 124.2k wip     There are rumours of yet another Sith Lord hiding among the Separatists. The Council sends Anakin to investigate. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. or, the story of how Anakin exists in a perpetual state of intense embarrassment, Obi-Wan is enjoying it a little too much, and everything is, generally speaking, a gigantic mess. ✦ Rulebreaker/Wildheart by chapstickaddict, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & luke & leia & barriss & cast, NSFW, 230k     Darth Vader, the strong arm of the Sith, held loyal to his Order since they took he and his mother from slavery in the deserts of Tatooine. Until he became convinced they killed his wife. He abandoned his Order and disappeared in the chaos of the Clone Wars, presumed dead by all sides. That young Skywalker is known around town as a widower and homesteader; a Nabooian who emigrated to avoid the trade blockade; a father of overly-energetic twins and warding a Togruta war orphan; a decent mechanic if your farm equipment or maintenance droid is acting up. Anakin is a paranoid, over-protective hot mess doing his best to raise his weird pack the way Padmé would have wanted. How the hell is he supposed to do that when his kids and not-apprentice make him haul a half-dead Jedi Master home like a lost pet? ✦ more than a candle by jenmishe, obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, 50.3k     "The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars." Or, a few thousands of words of how Anakin, Obi Wan, and Padmé realize many things, which include, most notably, how they feel about each other and how to handle said feelings. Oh, and in the meantime, they deal with a megalomaniac Sith Lord. ✦ Anamorphosis by avocadomoon, obi-wan/padme & anakin & mace & corde & qui-gon & cast, 33.5k     noun, plural an·a·mor·pho·ses [an-uh-mawr-fuh-seez, -mawr-foh-seez]. A distorted or monstrous projection or representation of an image on a plane or curved surface, which, when viewed from a certain point, or as reflected from a curved mirror or through a polyhedron, appears regular and in proportion; a deformation of an image.
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bambimanifests · 2 months ago
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𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖓 𝖘𝖕, 𝖓𝖔𝖜ᵕ̈
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Manifesting an SP is fun and it is the reason why a lot of people find LOA or start to practice it. The thing with SPs is that many people claim they can’t manifest them, there is a lot of stigma and misinformation around the topic and as someone who has made many mistakes when manifesting her old SP and is currently manifesting an SP, I thought I’d share my tips and create this post — kind of Manifesting an SP 101. If you don’t believe in loa, please leave, this post is not for you, unless you are here to learn more and not be hateful. Keep in mind all those tips are given from my experience! If your opinion is different or another coach told you something else then you are free to follow whichever advice you wish to follow!
ᡣ𐭩 THE BASICS.
It is crucial that when manifesting anything we understand the law (of assumption). The law states that our mind (4d) creates the reality around us (3d). Whatever you persist on in your mind, as thoughts, as visuals, will become true and will reflect in the 3d. We manifest anything by acting as if / living in the end, basically we think as if, as if we were rich, as if we were confident, as if our sp asked us out. It is recommended to think as if 24/7, but to people who are new to the law it can be difficult, so I would try to think favourably as much as you can, work your way up from thinking favourably 50% of the time to 100% of the time. It is important to persist in our desire, whatever we put our attention on will show up in our reality.
ᡣ𐭩 EIYPO
EIYPO stand for Everyone Is You Pushed Out. It all comes back to the concept that the 4d creates the 3d. Whatever you assume to be true is true. If you think all the time that you’re annoying and ugly and everyone hates you, that’s your reality. If you think that xyz is a bitch, then they’re a bitch. Whatever assumptions you have about yourself will be reflected in the 3d by others and their view of you, whatever assumptions you have of others also will be reflected in the 3d by them.
ᡣ𐭩 CIRCUMSTANCES
Circumstances are different for everyone, the most important thing in this small section is that they do not matter. Loa is limitless, you are the creator and only you can limit yourself. Circumstances can vary from being in no contact with your SP to your SP telling you they hate you or them being in a relationship. It’s all the same, it all doesn’t matter. Your current 3d is the reflection of your current or past assumptions.
ᡣ𐭩 THIRD PARTIES
When it comes to SPs we can deal and often do with 3rd parties, that can be their partner, their ex, someone they are into or someone they aren’t dating yet, but are talking/going out with — again, it’s all the same. Our reality is the reflection of us, of our inner world, the third party is no different, they’re often a reflection of our insecurities, fears or doubts. The best way to get rid of them is to simply ignore them. That is how I manifested a third party away, by not acknowledging it, not dwelling on it, not spiralling about it. What you focus on you persist on, whether you want it or not, if you persist it will show up more in your reality.
ᡣ𐭩 SELF CONCEPT
Let’s start with what is self concept, it’s you basically, assumptions you have about yourself, who you are, how others see you, how fast you manifest and if you can. Self concept is basically a set of beliefs and assumptions you have surrounding yourself. Do you think you deserve your manifestation? Many will tell you self concept is a must to manifest an SP, I will tell you it depends. If you have a low self concept when it comes to love or yourself, then yes you need to work on it, if you have a low self concept when it comes to manifestation, then it’s optional, it depends if you want it to come in fast or not.
ᡣ𐭩 VERSIONS OF PEOPLE
Important thing that I missed on my first SP journey was what version of them am I manifesting? I was manifesting a fuckboy, a cheater. Basically all the bad stuff I heard about him, I took as facts. Before I assumed that he was that way I didn’t really see that side of him, because I haven’t manifested that version of him yet. So whatever your SP has shown you, whatever assumptions you have about them now, you can change them. Think about it really, how do you see them, do you think they’re above you? Do you think they could never like you? Do you think they’re an asshole? Change the bad assumptions you have about them. You get to select the version of them, you select the version you experience, so manifest them to be your ideal person. (i usually just affirm “they’re my ideal person”, your mind knows what it wants and if you’re not sure create a list in your notes app or on paper!)
Honestly nothing else comes to my mind atm about SPs, except for the basics: don’t check the 3d, persist and ignore the 3d (continue to think as if) even if it’s showing you the old story, your movement should show up in 2/3 weeks, if there isn’t any and you have been manifesting an SP for years you’re probably doing something wrong, I cannot tell you what, you need to look inward and be honest with yourself. Remember you are human, you will feel all sorts of ways when manifesting, don’t let your feelings cloud your judgement and discourage you — feelings do not manifest only dominant thoughts. Also I do not condone manifesting abusers etc. Fuck abusers, please seek help if you’re in a relationship with a person who may hurt you or has physically or emotionally. You are not responsible for your abuse or trauma. I love yall, have an amazing day!
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justabigassnerd · 6 months ago
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A Safe Home
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Pairing - Tim Bradford x teen!reader
Word count - 8,174
Warnings - Tim shows signs of slight anxiety (it's my fic and I pick how I self-project onto Tim Bradford), brief mentions of Tim's dad, fluff, angst, inaccurate descriptions of how fostering works, swearing, mentions of guns
Summary - after his talk with Lucy, Tim decides to move forward with the idea of fostering you
Sequel to 'Unexpected Bond'
A/N - hey y'all, back at it again with part two of my previous Tim fic (this is what happens when y'all encourage me). I had a lot of fun exploring this second part and honestly, I did have another idea pop into my head regarding this story so that may or may not happen. anyways I won't ramble, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback, and enjoy!!!
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After spending most of the night scouring the internet in search of answers to his question, Tim had finally come up with a game plan. As soon as he woke up in the morning, he placed a call to an agency, asking to be considered for fostering and he managed to get lucky with them having an opening for an interview that afternoon. With the interview secured, Tim then called Sergeant Grey and asked for a personal day which thankfully was approved which meant Tim could put his whole attention on impressing at his interview.
After walking Kojo, Tim got back home and found an email from the agency on his phone, with a list of things he needed to prepare for the interview. He let out a soft sigh as he read that he needed a letter of reference from his boss which meant he had to go to work to ask Grey for such a letter. He was hoping he would be able to prepare everything in the privacy of his own home but he figured he owed Grey a face-to-face conversation about why he needed a reference. After making sure Kojo was settled, Tim made his way out to his truck and made the drive to the station, silently glad he was going to arrive at the station after role call meaning most of the patrolling officers would already be gone, saving him from questioning from Lucy.
Arriving at the station, Tim entered the building, making his way back to Grey’s office and knocking on the door, waiting for Grey to wave him in.
“Bradford, I thought you were taking a personal day.” Grey muses, focused on the paperwork on his desk as Tim enters the room.
“I wasn’t planning on coming in. I just needed to ask you for something.” Tim says, standing before the desk, watching as Grey’s gaze shifts, looking up at Tim.
“What is that?” Grey asks, eyebrow raised as he sits back in his chair.
“I’m… well I am planning on trying to foster a kid and one of the things I need for my interview this afternoon is a reference from my boss and-”
“Fostering a kid? I must admit I wasn’t expecting that. If you need a reference then I’ll write one up for you. I’ll email you when it’s done.” Grey says with a nod, making Tim sigh lightly in relief, shoulders sagging slightly as he visibly relaxes.
“Thank you,” Tim says gratefully.
“It’s okay, Bradford,” Grey says warmly, smiling at Tim.
“If it’s not too much to ask, could this stay between us? If the fostering goes forward I don’t want her getting overwhelmed by people before she’s had a chance to settle in.” Tim requests, receiving a nod from Grey.
“This conversation will not leave this room. I promise.” Grey assures, his words filling Tim with confidence before he nods, thanking Grey one last time before heading out of the office and back out to his truck to head home.
Upon getting home, Kojo greeted Tim happily once he got home, acting as if Tim had been away for days. Tim then grabbed his laptop, opened it up and began to familiarise himself with what to expect from the interview while he waited for Grey to send the reference. Kojo hopped up alongside Tim and flopped alongside him on the sofa.
“Hey buddy, how do you feel about someone else living with us?” Tim asks the dog quietly, reaching out to pet him as Kojo’s tail thumps against the sofa, seemingly giving Tim the seal of approval. Tim reads through what to expect what feels like hundreds of times until he notes the time and realises he should go and visit you. After closing his laptop, Tim gathers the candy and books he bought you and puts them in a small gift bag before picking it up and heading back out to the truck to drive to the hospital. Tim had an easy journey to the hospital and made his way to your room with little issues. As he approached your room he noticed that the door was closed and worry began to grab at him, worrying that something had happened to you but thankfully as he stuck his head around the doorframe, he found you lying in bed, mindlessly scrolling through the tv channels in the naive hope of finding something worth watching. However, at the movement by the door, your eyes were drawn away from the tv and when you realised it was Tim you lit up, smiling as you lightly invited him in.
“Officer Bradford, what are you doing here?” You ask, turning the tv off before focusing your attention on Tim who shakes his head lightly at your choice of words when it comes to addressing him.
“Please, call me Tim. I thought I’d swing by to check on you and I also bought you some things to hopefully help this time in hospital a bit better.” Tim says, smiling softly as he approaches your bedside, offering the bag out towards you.
“Offic- Tim. You didn’t need to bring me anything.” You say, eyes flicking between the bag and Tim.
“I wanted to,” Tim says, taking a single step closer and holding the bag up towards you so you have no choice but to take it which you do after a brief silence. When you take the bag, you place it down in your lap, slowly extracting the items and taking a moment to appreciate every single thing he has gotten you.
“I’m sorry if this isn’t really your kind of stuff. I just googled things and hoped for the best.” Tim says, concerned by your silence and already trying to backtrack and explain himself.
“No, please don’t apologise. This is perfect. Thank you.” You say, looking up at Tim with a small smile and teary eyes, gratefulness obvious in every aspect of your expression.
“You’re welcome, y/n,” Tim says softly, moving to sit down on one of the chairs that sat alongside your bedside.
“How have you been? Feeling better?” Tim then asks, watching carefully as you nod, already ripping open one of the packets of candy.
“My side still hurts if I move too much but I’d take that pain over being dead.” You say with a slight shrug, offering the bag towards Tim and motioning for him to take one which he refuses at first but after a look from you, he concedes and takes one, thanking you quietly.
“No one’s tried to bother you while you’re here, have they?” Tim then asks, wanting to ensure everything is okay.
“I don’t think anyone knows or cares that I’m here.” You admit quietly, eyes flicking from Tim to the bed cover, picking at the corner of it to distract yourself.
“I spoke to one of my friends, she’s a detective and she’s agreed to help me open an investigation into the home you’re in. I’m going to follow along with it and make sure that something happens to that home.” Tim then says, letting you know about his plans to deal with things.
“I don’t know what to say.” You say quietly yet gratefully. Your whole life you’d been constantly let down by adults who were supposed to look out for you. Teachers looked the other way when you were bullied and Stan had never lifted a finger to help you at the children’s home. But now, Tim was doing everything he could to help you. Someone you had only met the day before was already putting in the effort to help you when no one else would.
“You don’t need to say anything, kid. I want to help you out however I can.” Tim says, his voice was soft and gentle as he smiles at you.
“You have no idea how much this all means to me.” You say, wiping at your eyes to conceal any possible tears from Tim.
“I’m just doing my job,” Tim says, shaking his head softly as you smile softly, your hand dropping back down to your lap. You and Tim then spend some time talking some more, and the more you talk, the more Tim knows he wants to foster you. He knew how it felt to constantly be let down by people you’re supposed to look up to so he wasn’t going to let himself be one of those people towards you. He wanted to make sure you knew you had at least one person on your side. After about half an hour of chatting with you, Tim noticed the time and realised he needed to head back to his to get ready for his interview with the foster agency.
“I’ve got to head out. If you need anything you have my number. Take care.” Tim says, getting up and excusing himself.
“Have a good day.” You say with a smile as Tim crosses to the door, making him smile back at you softly. He longed to tell you that he was putting himself forward to foster you but he also knew he didn’t want to get your hopes up, and then for everything to fall through. He wouldn’t be able to face you going back to a home after everything you had been through.
“I’ll see you around, kid,” Tim says softly before exiting your room, making his way out of the hospital so he can head home to prepare for the interview. When he got home, Tim showered and changed into some smarter clothes before rereading what to expect in his interview so he could be thoroughly prepared for any questions that could be thrown his way during the interview process as well as forwarding the reference Grey had written to the agency. As he finishes reading up the page, Tim puts his laptop away and makes his way out to his truck to begin the drive to the agency. The drive was silent, other than the rumble of the engine and the radio playing quietly. During the drive, Tim kept going over everything in his head to make sure he had solid, planned answers ready when he was questioned. When Tim finally arrived at the agency, he got out of his truck and made his way in, making sure to take one last deep breath before walking in and approaching the woman at the front desk.
“Hi, I’m Tim Bradford. I’m here for an interview about fostering.” Tim says once he reaches the desk, smiling at the woman as she nods and types something into the computer at her desk.
“Yep, you’re good to go and take a seat, Julia will be out shortly.” The woman says with a smile, gesturing towards the seats behind Tim as he nods, thanking her before heading over to a seat, sitting down in it and pulling his phone out of his pocket to pass the time until he’s called in for his interview.
“Tim Bradford?” A female voice draws Tim’s attention away from his phone and he looks up to see a woman with a soft smile who gestures him over.
“Hi.” Tim greets, smiling as he reaches out to shake the woman’s hand.
“Hello, Tim. I’m Julia. If you just follow me into my office we’ll get this interview started.” Julia says lightly, leading Tim back into her office. Entering the office, Julia takes a seat behind her desk while offering Tim a seat in front of the desk which he sits on, waiting for the interview to begin.
“So, Tim, what was it that made you want to start fostering?” Julia starts, pulling up the forms Tim had filled out on her computer, skimming them once more before focusing back on Tim.
“I got involved in a case at work where I helped out a kid and found out she was in a kid's home. I guess I wanted to be a positive adult figure in her life and fostering her would not only give her the support she needs, but it would get her out of that home.” Tim says, making sure he’s completely honest with Julia.
“It sounds like you already have someone in mind when it comes to fostering.” Julia muses softly, receiving a nod in return from Tim.
“Yeah, her name is y/n l/n. I found her injured yesterday at work and when I learnt the whole story I just knew that I couldn’t be another adult in her life who lets her down. She needs a stable and safe environment and I’d like to be the one who gives it to her.” Tim says, studying Julia’s reaction carefully, hoping he hasn’t tripped up so soon into the interview.
“That leads me nicely to my next topic. I’ve read your reference from your boss, Sergeant Grey. So, you’re in the LAPD. Do you think your job may have any effect on your ability to care for a child?” Julia then asks, looking from the computer to Tim who exhales softly, glancing down at his lap briefly before looking back up at Julia.
“I am very good at keeping my personal and work life separate. I only work overtime when truly necessary. I believe I’d be more than capable of looking after y/n.” Tim says, keeping his voice level and trying not to take her words as a personal attack. After about ten more minutes of questions and answers between the two of them, Julia leans back in her chair, looking over at Tim.
“Well, you have a steady income, glowing reference, and you seem very committed to the idea of fostering y/n so I can’t say you’re a bad candidate for fostering but I also cannot guarantee anything, you know how it is,” Julia says, smiling sympathetically at Tim as he nods, understanding that she was simply covering her bases. He knew that she wasn’t able to make promises in case things fell through, the same way he wasn’t allowed to promise victims that everything would be okay.
“I understand. But if there is any chance I can foster y/n, I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Tim says with a nod, hoping deep down that everything lined up perfectly and he’d get to foster you. As Julia got up from her desk, he conjured another plan in his head just moments before he stood up to shake her hand once more.
“It was lovely to meet you, Tim. We’ll be in contact with an update.” Julia says as she releases Tim’s hand, watching as he nods and thanks her before exiting her office, thanking the lady at the desk as he left, the second he left the building he dug his phone out of his pocket, finding Angela’s number and dialling it, lifting the phone to his ear as it began to ring.
“Who have you killed?” Angela jokes upon picking up the phone, making Tim roll his eyes.
“Hilarious. I just wanted to ask you something.” Tim says, beginning to walk over to his truck.
“Shoot,” Angela says, leaning back in her chair as she awaits Tim’s response.
“I was wondering if there’s any way Wesley might know how to help me get approved to foster a kid?” Tim says. Upon hearing Angela’s slight gasp, and the sound of her getting out of her chair to find some privacy, he began to wonder if it was worth asking her.
“Is this about that kid in the children’s home you were telling me about yesterday?” Angela asks in a hushed tone, clearly still making her way through the station.
“Yeah… but you can’t tell anyone. I just had my interview with an agency and while I know they can’t guarantee that I’ll get accepted as a foster carer, and they can’t guarantee I’ll get to foster y/n. I was just wondering if Wesley knows anyone who could help me out or something?” Tim tries, getting into his truck and settling behind the wheel while Angela ducks into the rec room.
“I can call Wesley to see what he can do. I’ll have him call you when he can.” Angela says, nodding despite knowing that Tim couldn’t see her.
“Thank you, Angela. I owe you one.” Tim says, a smile on his face.
“I’ll hold you to that.” Angela jokes before both she and Tim bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone. Upon ending the conversation, Tim puts his phone away and begins to drive back to his house, fingers lightly drumming against the wheel to ease the anxiety that begins to build up over the length of the drive. When he finally makes it home, he enters his house, gets changed into something comfier and heads to the living room to sit down on the sofa and encourages Kojo to come and sit with him, letting out the softest sigh as Kojo settles down across his lap, the weight helping to ease Tim’s anxieties and helps him relax. After almost half an hour of mindlessly scrolling through various tv channels, Tim’s phone buzzes and he picks it up after seeing Wesley’s name pop up on the screen.
“Wesley.” Tim greets, his empty hand reaching out to pet Kojo as a means to distract himself.
“Hey, Tim. Angela told me about what you asked. I have a contact who may be able to pull some strings but ultimately I can’t guarantee anything.” Wesley says, greeting Tim before getting to business.
“I understand that,” Tim says, nodding lightly at Wesley’s words.
“Between you and me, I think you stand a good chance at getting approved to foster her with the home under investigation.” Wesley then admits while Tim perks up slightly.
“You think?” Tim asks.
“I do. My colleague may be able to get you approved early so you can foster y/n while taking any necessary courses or training just on account of it getting her out of the home during the investigation.” Wesley says, a smile on his face.
“Wesley, I don’t know how to thank you.” Tim breathes out, grateful for how his friends were willing to help him out.
“I’m sure I’ll sure I’ll think of some way for you to repay me,” Wesley says with a chuckle, leaning back in his chair as he hears Tim let out a soft laugh of his own.
“I don’t expect anything less,” Tim replies.
“I’ll talk to my colleague and see what she can do. I’ll be in contact.” Wesley then says, bidding Tim goodbye before they both hang up, leaving Tim to continue blindly scrolling through tv channels, his anxiety now easing a little. After ten minutes of more channel surfing, Tim decides to take Kojo on another walk, just to get out of the house and of course, Kojo was over the moon with the idea of a second walk.
The second walk was longer, and Tim made sure to go to Kojo’s favourite places and spend extra time in the park playing fetch. The walk helped to clear Tim’s head, helping him feel more at ease and more hopeful that with Angela and Wesley’s help, things would work out in his favour. On his way back home, content that Kojo had been sufficiently exercised, Tim’s phone began to ring once more and upon seeing a number he didn’t recognise, he picked up.
“Hello?” Tim answers, taking in the scenery as Kojo sniffs around a tree.
“Hi, is this Tim Bradford?” A male voice on the other end of the phone asks, making Tim raise an eyebrow.
“Yes, it is.” He replies, beginning towards a nearby bench and sitting down on it while Kojo sits at his feet.
“I’m Frank. I’m the head of the local fostering agencies and I’m aware you had an interview with Julia earlier this afternoon. Is that correct?” The man introduces himself as Tim nods lightly.
“I did yes. Is everything okay?” Tim says, and he swears in that brief silence between him speaking and Frank replying, he could feel his throat get tighter, fearing the response he might get.
“So, normally we wouldn’t do something like this but we’ve been made aware of an investigation that’s beginning to happen on the children’s home y/n is in and since you were such a strong and committed candidate, we’ve decided to allow you to foster y/n,” Frank says, and Tim felt the ten-ton weight lift off his shoulders at his words.
“Really?” Tim asks, part of him wondering if this was some elaborate trick.
“Really. Of course, we request that you complete some training but we will allow you to look after y/n to keep her away from the ongoing investigation but I imagine detectives would want to get statements from her if needed.” Frank explains, making Tim nod as he takes in every word.
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do,” Tim promises, already sitting up straighter on the bench.
“That’s what we like to hear. All we need from you right now is for you to come back to the agency and fill out some paperwork for us. We contacted the hospital and they’ve let us know that y/n is cleared to be released from the hospital’s care tomorrow so you have today to prepare for y/n’s arrival. Is that okay?” Frank then says as Tim begins to stand up, walking with Kojo towards his house.
“That’s fine. Thank you.” Tim says, a small smile on his face.
“Good. You’ll also meet y/n’s case worker, Kiara while you’re there. She’ll be there to help you and y/n through this whole process.” Frank then says, giving Tim the last bit of information he needed.
“Thank you so much for all this,” Tim says gratefully, bidding Frank goodbye and hanging up the phone before hurrying back home. The second he gets home, Tim gets Kojo in the house, before heading to his truck and driving back to the agency.
When Tim reaches the agency, he’s greeted by the same woman at the front desk who points him to Julia’s office, telling him they’re waiting for him. So Tim does as he’s told, heading to the office he had been in mere hours before, knocking on the door lightly and entering upon being called in.
“Tim, just the man we were talking about,” Julia says with a smile, gesturing Tim in when she sees him. Tim enters the office, noticing the second woman who he could only assume was Kiara as he sat down on the spare chair that was offered to him.
“I’m Kiara, y/n’s case worker. It’s lovely to meet you.” The second woman confirms Tim’s thoughts as she offers a hand to him and he’s quick to shake her hand in response.
“I’m Tim. But I’m sure you already knew that.” Tim says with a soft chuckle as he settles down in the chair.
“As you know, you’ve got some paperwork to go through with you so let’s get on with that first,” Julia says, pulling paperwork out of one of her files and handing them over to Tim with a clipboard so he can read them over and sign where appropriate once they’ve talked things over. As Tim reads the paperwork over, Julia and Kiara talk him through various parts of everything, making sure he’s clear on everything being your foster parent entails, as well as being told that Kiara was going to swing by his house to do a quick check to make sure he lived in a suitable environment for you. After signing everything and being thoroughly briefed on all the ins and outs of being a foster parent, Tim was finally given the okay to leave the office and he left with Kiara walking alongside him.
“I’ll just follow behind you if that’s okay?” She asks as they exit the building, watching as Tim nods, digging his keys out of his pocket before heading over to his truck while Kiara heads over to her Mini. The drive back to his house had Tim’s anxiety digging in once more as he thought of all the worst-case scenarios that ran through his head. He knew he had no reason for Kiara to not approve him and his house as a suitable place for you to live but he could not help but think of how things could go wrong. Would Kojo throw her off? Would the fact he carries an off-duty weapon be a problem? He tried so hard to focus on the positives but by the time both he and Kiara had parked outside his house, he had convinced himself that everything was going to crash and burn. Tim unlocked his front door and stepped in, causing Kojo to come trotting over to him happily.
“Kojo, sit,” Tim commands, pointing at Kojo who obeys Tim’s command, head tilted slightly as Kiara enters behind Tim.
“You have a dog? Can I say hi?” Kiara asks with a soft smile as Tim nods.
“Kojo, come here boy,” Tim says and Kojo immediately got up and approached the two, sniffing Kiara’s outstretched hand and panting happily as she began to pet him.
“He’s lovely.” Kiara praises.
“He looks tough but he’s a big softie,” Tim admits with a gentle laugh, watching as Kojo flops onto his side for more attention.
“Well, you’re off to a good start with how well-trained Kojo is,” Kiara says as she straightens up, beginning to make her way around the house looking at everything in and around each room while Kojo follows behind her happily. Tim can’t bring himself to follow her at first, feeling rooted in place with how out of control he is in this whole scenario. After a deep breath, Tim then follows after Kiara, listening carefully to all her comments about his house.
“I know you’re a police officer so I have to ask, do you have any firearms in your house?” Kiara asks, no malice in her tone but Tim knew he wouldn’t benefit from lying.
“Yes, I carry an off-duty piece. But I lock it away when I’m not using it and I’d never encourage y/n to use it or even be near it.” Tim explains, leading Kiara to the safe he has hidden away in his bedroom and showing her the handgun he has. As he locks it back away, Tim looks over at Kiara to try and gauge her reaction but Kiara appears to be the best when it comes to having a neutral expression. By the time Kiara had done a full tour of the house, Tim had somehow convinced himself that he’d screwed the whole thing up. As he walked Kiara to the front door, she turned to face him and smiled softly.
“Your house is perfect. y/n will have a great home here.” Kiara says as Tim tries not to let his jaw drop in shock.
“Thank you so much.” He says, feeling like he’s thanked people enough for a lifetime in one day but he had to let people know how grateful he was for their help throughout this whole process. After Kiara leaves, Tim turns his attention to his phone, aware of the text he had received while he was showing Kiara around the house. He found a text from Wesley, saying he had contacted his colleague so Tim replied saying that Wesley’s colleague had helped out a lot and so he thanked Wesley and asked him to pass Tim’s thanks on to his colleague. By the time night fell Tim was lying in his bed wrestling with his conflicting emotions. He was filled with both excitement and anxiety knowing that in a mere few hours, he’d be picking you up from the hospital and officially become your foster parent.
By the morning, Tim was sure he’d only gotten a couple of hours of sleep and that Kojo was fed up with how much he’d been tossing and turning throughout the night. Tim got out of bed after Kojo all but nudged him up, showered and changed before taking Kojo on a morning walk to stretch his legs. Tim had organised a time to meet with Kiara at the hospital to pick you up after informing Grey that he needed another personal day, thankfully Grey was understanding and gave him the rest of the week off so he could help you settle into your new home and routine. So Tim wanted to spend his morning setting up your room and ensuring the house felt as homely as possible ready for your arrival with the time he had.
Once Tim had organised your room, doing the best he could with what he had, he noted the time and realised he needed to begin heading over to the hospital. So he grabbed a jacket and made his way to the front door, stopping to talk to Kojo when he noticed him lying on the floor in the hall.
“Be good, Kojo. I’ll be back soon.” Tim says, petting Kojo on the head as he grabs his keys and makes his way to the front door, heading outside and getting into his truck to drive over to the hospital. Upon arriving at the hospital, Tim met with Kiara in the waiting room of the ward you were in.
“Hello, Tim.” She greets Tim with a smile, approaching him as he meets her halfway.
“Hi,” Tim replies, noticing the bag in Kiara’s hand.
“I went by to collect y/n’s things, she’s getting changed now. A nurse will grab us when she’s ready.” Kiara explains, not missing how Tim had been looking at the bag. At her explanation, Tim nods.
“Does she know I’m fostering her?” Tim then asks, already worrying about your hypothetical reaction to the news.
“I haven’t told her yet. I figured you could be the one to tell her.” Kiara says. As if cued, a nurse enters the waiting room and approaches the two.
“y/n is ready.” The nurse says with a gentle smile, gesturing for them to follow her which they do, heading into the room Tim had become very familiar with.
“Hi Kiara, I’m ready t-” You said, back facing them as you begrudgingly turned around, cutting yourself off when you realised Tim was also present.
“Hey, kid,” Tim says softly, smiling as you mirror his smile with one of your own.
“What’s going on?” You ask, glancing between Tim and Kiara who in turn exchange a look between themselves.
“We have some exciting news.” Kiara starts, both her and Tim watching as your eyebrows furrow in thought.
“I have decided to foster you. If that’s okay with you, of course.” Tim says, watching your reaction carefully, seeing how your eyebrows furrow further before you process his words and your jaw drops in shock, tears filling your eyes.
“Really?” You ask, looking up at Tim who nods lightly at your question.
“If that’s something you want,” Tim affirms and you fall quiet for a brief second, taking a deep breath before speaking up once more.
“Can I hug you?” You ask quietly.
“Of course, come here,” Tim says, extending an arm towards you and you were quick to accept the embrace, winding your arms around his middle and hugging Tim tight. Tim felt your shuddered breaths as you hugged him, making him hold you a little closer.
“Thank you.” You whisper softly, your voice thick with unshed tears.
“You don’t need to thank me,” Tim replies in a hushed tone, squeezing you tighter before releasing you from the hug, allowing you to step back.
“Well with that good news out in the open. Are you ready to get out of here?” Kiara asks, watching as you wipe your eyes with a nod, smiling wider than Kiara has ever seen from you before.
“More than ready.” You say as Kiara hands the bag of your belongings to Tim and gestures for you and Tim to follow her once the nurse has gone over some final healthcare things with you and Tim.
“I went and collected all your stuff from the home so you should have everything. Now all that’s left for you to do is head home with Tim. I will swing by every so often just to check up on you both but I’ll let you have a few days to settle in.” Kiara explains as you make your way through the hospital, heading towards the car park.
“That sounds like a plan. Thank you for everything, Kiara.” Tim says, stopping in front of his truck with you and Kiara mimicking his action.
“It’s been a pleasure. Take care, y/n.” Kiara says, giving you a quick hug in goodbye before making her way back to her own car, leaving you and Tim alone.
“Here, hop in,” Tim says, opening the passenger side door and waiting patiently for you to ease yourself into the truck. Once you’re sat down, Tim closes the door and loads your bag into the back seats, rounding the truck and getting behind the wheel. On the drive back to Tim’s house you maintained some small talk as you watched the world passing you by. You were seeing areas of Los Angeles that you had never seen before and before too long had passed, Tim was parking on the drive to your new home.
“I have a quick question before we head in. Are you okay with dogs?” Tim asks after shutting the engine off, turning in his seat to face you.
“I’ve never really been around any dogs. The only ones around the children’s home were people’s guard dogs so they weren’t very friendly.” You explain shyly, fiddling with your fingers as you think of the dogs that would snarl and bark at you every time you dared walk past their house.
“I promise, Kojo is as gentle as they come. He’s all bark no bite. Tell you what, I’ll head in first, put Kojo in my room so he’s out of the way while you settle in. When you’re ready we can handle introductions. Does that sound good?” Tim says, explaining the plan he had formulated in his head and you nod.
“Okay, that sounds fine.” You say quietly, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the truck while Tim does the same. You wait patiently for Tim to grab your bag before following him to the front door.
“You stay out here for a minute while I sort out Kojo, I’ll let you know when to come in,” Tim says as he unlocks the front door and you nod, sure you could hear the tapping of claws on the other side of the door. Tim opens the door enough to squeeze through the gap and closes the door behind him, smiling as Kojo approaches, sniffing at his legs curiously.
“Sorry about this buddy, it’s just for a few minutes.” Tim apologises to his dog, gently taking hold of Kojo’s collar and leading him towards his bedroom, opening the door and encouraging Kojo inside, closing the door before he can turn around and rush back out. With Kojo securely tucked away in one room, Tim makes his way back to the front door, opening it and smiling at you.
“Come on in.” He says, picking up your bag and gesturing for you to follow him into the house.
“Wow, this is gorgeous.” You say, awestruck by the house and everything in it.
“It’s not much,” Tim says with a light shrug, making you laugh lightly.
“Here’s better than the home I’ve grown up in.” You say truthfully, making Tim nod lightly as he stops outside your room.
“This is your room. I’m sorry it’s a bit bare but you’re free to decorate it how you want.” Tim says as he opens the door, stepping back to let you take in your new room. You couldn’t stop the tears from welling in your eyes at the sight of the room. Tim wasn’t lying, the room didn’t have much in the way of decorations, and the bedding and walls were all plain white but the idea of getting to make the room your own safe space made you emotional in ways you couldn’t describe.
“This is amazing. I can’t thank you enough Tim.” You say gratefully, taking the bag from Tim’s hand and heading into your room. You place your bag on the end of your bed and take in the beauty of your room. After exploring your room, you then head back out into the rest of the house, pausing when you hear the light scratching of claws against wood.
“Sorry, he’s used to having run of the house.” Tim apologises, noticing how you had paused in place, looking in the direction of Tim’s bedroom.
“No, I’m sorry. I feel bad he’s been locked away just because I’m not used to dogs.” You apologise, feeling bad for Kojo.
“He’ll live, trust me,” Tim says softly.
“Can I meet him? I’ll feel bad keeping him locked away any longer.” You ask, looking up at Tim who nods lightly.
“Only if you’re sure,” Tim asks, watching as you nod.
“I’m sure.” You confirm, making Tim look towards the door.
“You go and settle in the living room. I’ll bring Kojo through.” Tim says, watching you head towards the living room before he opens his bedroom door, immediately catching Kojo by the collar as he attempts to escape the bedroom.
“Whoa there. You need to be a bit calmer.” Tim lightly scolds his dog, carefully leading him to the living room where you are waiting. Tim enters the living room slowly, keeping a firm hand on Kojo to keep him under control.
“y/n, this is Kojo. Kojo, this is y/n.” Tim says, introducing you to Kojo and vice versa.
“Hi, Kojo. You’re really cute.” You say softly, reaching a careful hand out towards him, letting him sniff at your hand from a distance. After Kojo had sniffed at your hand, Tim slowly relinquished his hold on Kojo’s collar, allowing him to step closer to you. Kojo continues to sniff at you, gently licking at one of your hands while your other begins to pet him, bringing a smile to your face.
“I think he likes you,” Tim says, smiling at the interaction between you and Kojo.
“He’s so sweet.” You say quietly, scratching Kojo behind the ear as he pants happily, as he sits down in between your legs. After a few minutes of hanging out with Kojo, Tim decides to offer to help you unpack and settle in and you take him up on his offer, heading back to your room, this time with Kojo accompanying you. You go through your bag, chatting with Tim as you unpack everything. As Tim was putting a jacket of yours away in the wardrobe, he caught sight of you digging through your bag, a panicked expression on your face.
“Are you okay, kid?” Tim asks, turning to face you.
“I can’t find something.” You reply, barely giving Tim any attention as you continue to turf things out of your bag, tears welling in your eyes when you empty the rest of your bag and realise that one precious item is missing.
“What is it?” Tim asks, picking his way through the clothes you’d thrown across your bed to see if what you were looking for had somehow gotten lost in the middle of your t-shirts.
“I… I had a stuffed animal. A small sheep. I’ve had him since I was little and a friend I had gave him to me when she got reunited with her parents. Kiara wouldn’t have known I had him because I hid him in my room so the other kids wouldn’t find him.” You explain, panicked as tears well in your eyes.
“Hey, don’t panic. Tell me where you hid him and I’ll go and get him.” Tim says, gently taking you by the shoulders, and helping you maintain control over your panicked breaths.
“You’d do that?” You ask quietly and your voice thick with tears.
“Of course, I would. If this sheep is important to you I’ll go find him and bring him back here.” Tim says softly, hating the heartbroken and terrified look in your eyes. He could tell this stuffed animal meant the world to you and he was going to get it back for you.
“Thank you.” You whisper, smiling at Tim while wiping at your eyes.
“No problem, kid. Now, tell me where you hid him and I’ll get him back.” Tim says, waiting patiently for you to tell him where you had hidden the teddy. Once you’ve told Tim exactly where you’d hidden it, Tim tells you to stay with Kojo, making his way to his room, grabbing his off-duty piece just in case Stan tried to give him any grief, before making his way out to his truck and driving over to the children’s home. When he pulled up outside the home, he barely had time to pull his keys out of the engine with the speed he was getting out of the truck. He marched up to the front door and pounded on it, waiting for Stan to open the door.
“What do you want? You’ve caused enough trouble around here.” Stan snarls as he opens the door, recognising Tim instantly.
“I’m just here to pick up something that Kiara didn’t pick up when she was getting y/n’s stuff,” Tim says, holding his hands up slightly to show he wasn’t here to pick a fight.
“You’ve gone and put this home under investigation. I could lose my job and it’s all your fucking fault! I should teach you a lesson.” Stan swears angrily, stepping closer to Tim in an attempt to intimidate him.
“Try anything and I’ll have you locked away so fast you’ll never get to see this home close down,” Tim growls in response, his low tone and narrowed eyes enough to get Stan to step back, all attempt at intimidation now thrown out the window as he allows Tim to push past, heading upstairs to the room you had said was yours. He opened the door, heading straight for where you had said you’d hidden the sheep teddy. Thankfully, Tim had very little trouble finding the sheep.
“Let’s get you reunited with y/n,” Tim whispers to the small plush sheep before tucking it away in his hoodie pocket, making his way downstairs, making sure to shoot a warning glare Stan’s way to keep him away before heading to his truck and making the drive back home. When Tim arrived home, he found you curled up on the sofa with Kojo curled against your side.
“Did you find him?” You ask, perking up when you notice Tim’s arrival. Tim nodded with a smile, pulling the sheep out of his pocket and handing it over to you as you took it gratefully, holding it close to your chest as you let out a soft sigh of relief.
“Thank you so much, Tim.” You say gratefully, smiling over at him which he returns.
“You’re welcome y/n,” Tim replies, moving to sit alongside you and Kojo. You spend the rest of the day lounging on the sofa with Tim, getting to know each other more. After having a takeaway for dinner, you stand up and stretch, glancing over at Tim.
“Can I use the shower?” You ask, studying Tim’s reaction carefully.
“Of course, you can. You don’t need to ask.” Tim says softly, watching as you nod slightly, heading for your room to get ready for your shower before disappearing into the bathroom.
When you emerged from the bathroom, Tim caught sight of you padding across the hall, shivering violently as you tugged your hoodie over your pyjama shirt.
“Woah, are you okay? Are you coming down with something?” Tim asks, already jumping to the worst-case scenario at how violently you were shivering.
“No, I’m fine. I just didn’t realise how cold your shower could get.” You say with a shrug as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
“I should’ve shown you how it works, I’m sorry.” Tim apologises, silently scolding himself for failing to show you how the shower worked.
“No, it’s fine. I know I’m not supposed to use the hot water anyway.” You say with a small smile, making Tim’s head tilt slightly in confusion.
“I’m sorry, what?” Tim asks, wanting to know why you had assumed such a thing.
“Stan always said that us kids weren’t supposed to use hot water.” You shrug, rubbing your hands up and down your arms to try and warm yourself up more.
“Okay, that rule doesn’t fly in here. You want a hot shower? You take a hot shower. You don’t have to worry about whether you’re allowed to use hot water because you will always be allowed to use it.” Tim explains, watching your reaction carefully, seeing how your head dipped, nodding shyly at his words.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry.” You apologise, making Tim feel like his heart is cracking in two.
“You have nothing to apologise for. It’s not your fault Stan is an asshole.” Tim says, resting a hand on one of your shoulders, smiling supportively at you as you lift your head to meet his gaze, shyly smiling in response as you nod lightly before a yawn spills past your lips.
“Sounds like you should get to bed. I’ll see you in the morning, y/n.” Tim says softly, releasing the light grip he had on your shoulder and watching as you head into your room with Kojo hot on your heels before making his rounds, ensuring all the doors were locked and the lights were off before retiring to bed himself.
Almost two hours after you had gone to bed you found yourself unable to sleep. You kept tossing and turning, finding the bed much too comfortable compared to what you were accustomed to. After Kojo let out a huff after what felt like your thousandth shuffle in bed you finally got up, grabbing your sheep teddy and a blanket before making your way to the living room with Kojo following behind once more.
Tim stirred at the sound of footsteps throughout the house and sat bolt upright, listening carefully to try and identify whether the footsteps belonged to you or an intruder. After a minute of listening, Tim identified the sound of Kojo’s claws tapping across the floor and felt himself relaxing, knowing it had to be you moving around with how Kojo wasn’t barking. After the house fell silent again, Tim decided to get up to check on you, worried about how he hadn’t heard you heading back to your room and he soon tracked you down, finding you lying down on the sofa, covering yourself with the blanket and using one of the cushions as a pillow with the small lamp on nearby.
“Are you okay, kid?” Tim’s voice made you jump at first, but you soon settled down when you realised it was only Tim, and Kojo settled down, his head resting on your stomach.
“Sorry the bed was ju-”
“It was too comfortable, wasn’t it?” Tim says softly, cutting you off as he crosses to sit down on the edge of the sofa.
“How did you know?” You ask, bewildered that Tim had figured it out so quickly.
“I served in the Army and did a few tours. Coming home after each one was the hardest adjustment period. And somehow the bed being too comfortable was the worst one. So trust me, I get it.” Tim says, letting you know that he understood and that he wouldn’t judge you.
“I’m just too used to the rock-solid mattresses at the home.” You say with a shrug, reaching out to pet Kojo after he noses at your hand for attention.
“If sleeping on the sofa makes you more comfortable for now. Then you can sleep on the sofa. Do what makes you feel most comfortable right now.” Tim assures you quietly, seeing how the gentle reassurance has made you feel more at ease.
“Thank you.” You say quietly, smiling at Tim as he nods.
“You’re welcome, y/n. I’m going to head back to bed but come and get me if you need anything. I’m sure Kojo will look after you.” Tim says, petting Kojo lightly before getting up, bidding you goodnight and exiting the living room to head back to his own room for the night. After Tim left, you turned the lamp off and laid back against the sofa, hand still stroking Kojo gently as you allowed your eyes to close. You had finally found a home, and it made you feel the safest you have ever felt in your whole life. And that was all thanks to Tim.
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rosetinteddrms · 6 months ago
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01. please be kind. 02. this is a creative outlet, i do not take money. 03. never use my services as a replacement for professional help. 04. this is for entertainment purposes only. 05. take a deep breath and pick the pile you are drawn to. 06. take only what resonates. 07. you are loved.
masterlist | send in asks through my inbox ・ * . ・ ࿓
if you are dreaming of pile one ・ * . ・ ࿓
intuitive reading
you may have a yellow aura. you remind me of someone who tries to see the brightest in others, you are very optimistic, free-spirited, and light up any room you're in. you bring a lot of attention to yourself (good or bad) just based on your energy and the way you hold yourself. you may only be known for your bubbly personality that may come off as ditzy sometimes, but you may actually value intellectual pursuits. you may truly find comfort in relationships where you can talk for hours on hours about the oddest of things. you may tend to see people for who they truly are rather than who they present themselves as. however, this authenticity is may be something you don't often receive from others, leaving you tired and drained.
eight of wands, five of pentacles rx
pile one, you seem to have a duality about you. on the outside, you're very passionate, driven, and confident. on the inside, you may just want what is best for yourself. you might fear isolation, loneliness, or estrangement from your ideal self. you may tend to keep these things hidden. you take lots of care to ensure that this side of you stays hidden from the outside world so that it doesn't hinder your progress from your true self, or true aura. you embrace your shortcomings in the shadows so that the world can have the best, bubbliest, truest version of you. this is how you stay true to your yellow aura and is how you continue to stay focused, driven, and confident.
queen of pentacles, knight of cups
even with all the beautiful things about you, pile one, you must be careful to not guard yourself too much. you have so much joy, and laughter, and happiness to spread with the world that when you hunker down inside, you may fail to look at all the blessings you already have. this may cause you to excessively daydream or go off into different worlds about all that you could be and all that you have yet to accomplish. this may taint the pure, yellow aura you've built up. stay grounded and appreciative, and all the joy you've put out into the world will come back to you. please like and rb if anything resonates ・ * . ・ ࿓
if you are dreaming of pile two ・ * . ・ ࿓
intuitive reading
you may have a teal aura. you may be very compassionate and empathetic, and sensitive, but you are not timid. you definitely have a cool but energetic vibe to you. you may be nonchalant but fun. you could also be the therapist friend that everyone goes to for venting, or ranting, or some form of emotional healing. furthermore, pile two, you may be available to others, but due to the blue tint to your aura, you're never desperate for attention or validation. the cool quality from the blue hue and the healing quality from the green hue of your aura may attract very needy individuals. so, for your mental and emotional stability: please be wary of energy vampires.
the devil, king of wands
you may facilitate a lot of shadow work for other people. so much so, that you may neglect yourself. you right now may be battling with some much inner turmoil, you may have a lot of desires that you keep hidden so you can uphold that king of wands image. for right now, this is working, everyone sees you as steadfast, calm, collected, confident, but this facade may break in the near future. you were able to uphold this image because you shoved everything inside. for extra confirmation, this may have some truth in it if: you may need to re-evaluate your social circle because they may be bad influences. you may need to release some persons in your life to truly tap into your calm, collected, teal aura. you may also need to set stronger boundaries with others because they may see you as chill so they may be taking advantage of you. this may be adding to your inner turmoil. i'm really concerned for you, pile two, because this section was supposed to be about everything you're doing right, but right now i'm getting really anxious for you. i think in order for you to truly tap into the cohesiveness of your aura, you may need to do some purging in all aspects of your life. please stay safe.
i will not be doing a third paragraph for this section due to the messages and anxiety from above. please look into the people you are being surrounded by and their true natures. omg pile two, i went to go put up my deck to do the next pile's readings and my cards flew out of my hand and went everywhere. the five of swords, four of cups, and judgement all came out upright. i think for those of you who are in a tense situation, it may 'blow up' soon if you don't cut your losses and make a decision. this may also be a sign that this situation you're in, whatever it is, it may not be resolved quickly or easily and if you try to ignore it. and if left alone long enough, it may result in something horrific coming to the surface.
please like and rb if anything resonates ・ * . ・ ࿓
if you are dreaming of pile three ・ * . ・ ࿓
intuitive reading
you may have a light blue aura. this may mean you are very communicative, intuitive, and have high levels of creativity. you ebb and flow on the river of life, but this may cause you to lack boundaries because of how you hate going against the current. you may have a wounded inner child and struggle with your shadow side. you have a very strong intuition, but you may not always listen to it. this may have led to you being in unhealthy relationships. you may strive to help other people, but try not to give parts of yourself away in order to make other people's wishes come true.
the high priestess, the chariot rx
pile three you may be very good at standing on business. you may listen to your intuition very well and very often, leaving your guides to be very pleased with you. you may have had a smooth sailing in most aspects of your life for the time being. this may have led you to be complacent and kind of wishy washy when it comes to listening to your guides. maybe all the shadow work you've done has slowly begun to be chipped away at. however, you still have a high amount of self-discipline in the face of opposition. you're conscious of your your inner child being triggered or upset and may be actively trying to combat it in the face of whatever challenges you're currently going through. good job pile three, but still make sure to branch out to the people around you and get support from them too. your guides are in the spiritual realm, so there is only so much guidance that they can give you. your connections are in the physical realm, so lean on them and gather the support you need to rebuild yourself.
strength rx, ten of cups
i set my cards to shuffle again before doing this section and while i was writing the top section, the nine of swords popped out. you may have a deep seated anxiety about your future, your stability, or the ability to rely on the people around you. you may be hyper-independent and created too much inner strength to point where intimacy or developing close relationships spooks you. this anxiety regarding relationships is different from person to person, but you may have developed an un grounded fear of closeness. this may create blockages between you and your guides and the people around you. if you feel isolated right now, all you may need to do is reach out and listen. this could be to your guides or connections. after you calm this turmoil and soothe your inner child, you might finally settle into your light blue aura. please like and rb if anything resonates ・ * . ・ ࿓
if you are dreaming of pile four ・ * . ・ ࿓
intuitive reading
you may have a pink aura. you may be a very loving, caring, and sensitive individual who is not swayed easily by other people's thoughts and feelings. this specific light pink is connected closer to red, so you may be very passionate, fierce, and loyal. you are strong but still feminine and playful. you seem to be very secure in yourself, your boundaries, and you may have done lots of shadow work to get yourself here. you are simply bursting with energy, love, and kindness. continue doing what you're doing pile four, it's working.
four of pentacles rx, six of cups rx
pile four, you are doing a great job of protecting your energy and aura. this may seem counterintuitive with the cards pulled but i think that your self-preservation is justified. you see, feminine energy (especially light pink auras) are very rare and difficult to come by. they take an immense amount of love and care and kindness to maintain and develop. so i think you're simply protecting your peace, your innocence, your playfulness. you're reserving your feminine energy for those who truly deserve it. and what's even better is that you're grounded enough to know when your acts of self-preservation are too much because you're so in-tune with yourself due to previous shadow-work. still, you may make mistakes and close yourself off from the wrong person or open up too late, but at the end of the day, you've learned your mistake from past, traumatic connections. you may have been without toxic people for a while now, so your methods are succeeding. but even with all this praise, try not to be too critical of others and try to live in the moment instead of using retroactive pattern-recognition to decipher whether someone is good for you.
the magician rx, three of wands rx
like i said above, pile four, you may be stuck in the past which causes you to miss out on experiencing amazing people due to your need for excessive foresight. you cannot predict the future, nor can you know everything about a person within ten seconds of meeting them. just let things flow naturally and distance yourself whenever alarm bells start ringing. also, keep in mind you have your guides watching over you. you will be safe. just try and tap into that light, playful, feminine energy and slow down your thought whenever you feel like you're closing yourself off again or being overly judgmental. this may help you maintain your gorgeous, pink aura. please like and rb if anything resonates ・ * . ・ ࿓
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