#See I didn’t forget today
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He’s paying Zip Zap Zop guys
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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Paul: We got down to Miami, which was... well, I mean that was just like paradise. Because, I mean, we'd never been to anywhere where there was palm trees. And we took a lot of photos, you know... we were like tourists, and we had our Pentax cameras Paul: We had a great time there. We stayed in a hotel most of the time and sort of looked down on the sand where the kids, the fans, would write 'I love John' on the sand, you know, so you could read it from your hotel room Ringo: This was just the most brilliant place I'd ever been to, and people were lending us yachts, or anything we wanted. This family lent us their boat, and they let me drive... about a sixty-foot yacht, a speedboat... which I proceeded to bring in to port, head-on (laughs)... not really knowing much about driving speedboats... and so, you know, they have those pretty rails on the front, hanging off... well, this was (crashing sound)... just bent the bugger all over the place. But they didn't seem to mind, you know, they were just happy.
Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr talking about the Beatles trip to Miami (13th-21st February 1964). The Beatles Anthology (1995)
#I feel ‘they didn’t seem to mind’ must have been used so much about their behaviour in 64#remember when paul acted like these photos had been lost for 60 years?#we anthology girls knew the truth#you think I’m going to forget seeing john’s tits?#funny how I can only see paul and ringo’s names in the sand but paul remembers john’s#admit it paul you wrote 'I love john' on the sand#it was sixty years ago today#the first u.s. visit#paul mccartney#ringo starr#the beatles#february 1964#audio and transcripts
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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*taps mic w my lil bunny paw* hello hello friends!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ i am (slowly) but surely making my way back into the city to be w all of my lovely residents!! ໒꒰ྀི◜ ཅ ◝ ꒱ྀི১◞♡ tysm everyone for being so kind & so patient whilst i dealt w all of my silly irl stuff, but now that everything is okay again…LETS PARTY!! ⁽⁽٩(๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́)۶⁾⁾
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#AHHH!! I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS!!! SO SO MANY WIPS!!! & SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ALL!! <33#im going to be priv answerin some older askies today!! (im so SO SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU WAITING ໒꒰ྀི ◞ ‸ก ྀི꒱ა)#i hope you guys didn’t forget ab me too much!!! i’ve missed you all SO DEARLY!!! ໒꒰ྀིஇ﹏இ`꒱ྀི১#i can’t wait to see all of you guys & your faves pal around town as we see winter breaking & spring peaking thru!! :3#stop & smell the flowers!! hold the door open for a stranger!! let kindness in!! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧ & have the best day EVER!!! <333
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* Worst case scenario: figuring out the worst way possible you apparently hate suggestive comments about one of the characters you relate to by people being so normal about them
#how did the conception of Megapon turn into Huzzle birth. what#I took it as Huzzle King friendship realness like GOD I forget there’s always gonna be certain people that ruin it#possible projecting since I’m ace n I see a bit of myself in Huzz but also eughhh. eughhhh I didn’t need to read notes like that today#trevor.txt#rant
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when I was in high school there was a tendency whenever there was an attractive boy to simply fan over him. in a way that talked over everything he might say for himself and created a narrative that completely ignored, the fact in some cases, that he was really struggling—or if he was struggling, to pin all the blame on the girl he’s dating and completely ignore the thousands of other factors (no it can’t be mental illness or unaccommodated disability or systemic abuse or exploitation and if he is in an abusive relationship we won’t ever consider the factors that put him at risk for that)
and I’m not saying this fandom is like that. I get the need for privacy around some things and how in public conversations sometimes it’s a lot more respectful to stick to the positives (everyone who does that, I admire you) or even the struggles that are talked about publicly, show respect by not reading too far into them. there’s a time and place for that. but sometimes I feel like our only options are shitty and ableist gossip or totally ignoring the systemic and structural issues we know exist in something like the music industry until someone dies and then we’re looking for someone to blame. friends, there is a point where the respectful thing is to listen to what someone says and come together to make things better. and you can learn how to have that conversation respectfully. please do
#forever haunted by ‘I wasn’t always a cynic it’s just I’ve been bought and sold’#and actually this highlights my whole frustration with the conversation around mental health just about anywhere#like you tell people something sucks and they’re completely unwilling to even try to challenge the status quo in order to help#and idk. I tell myself they’re going to be fine. they’re so resilient. I’m doing all I can; I’m not on the ground there I’m at a distance#but at the same time is it not bittersweet sometimes to enjoy music born from trauma? to be at a live show knowing they shouldn’t be?#to me these stories have to be told for the reason that yes so people relate but also so we can do better for the next generation#anyway I’ve gotten deep into inxs lore lately and I can say. yes it is better for 5sos simply for the fact men can talk about emotions#but that didn’t come without a MASSIVE fight don’t you ever forget that. it’s gonna still carry shame. they’re choosing to fight that#but the sad songs we got as a result?? idk they’re the thing that turned me parasocial because there’s rarely absolutely nothing you can do#like if we’re ever gonna give them a gold star for talking about this stuff as early as sgfg til today we gotta ask ourselves to look at#larger systemic issues and stuff that we ARE a part of and while we can’t be there for them when they have a bad day. we can work on#anyway the high school example still haunts me. still drives some of what I do now. we were just kids. but most of us here aren’t anymore#and the newbrokenscene is grown up now and tbh the status quo should be TERRIFIED#so idk. at the very least sign the petition for liams law. advocate for better. address local issues of injustice and addiction etc#which in some ways I’m lucky that I get to do that in sydney so it feels connected but this is just as valuable anywhere#tbh the 2010s era of bubblegum pop and ignoring all our problems is over. you’re punk now. even katy released chained to the rhythm#thinking about the nfp I’m trying to start and how to start small. for disadvantaged kids maybe? intervening via urban design?#(don’t you ever forget 5sos WERE disadvantaged kids not even 20 years ago. that shit sticks to you no matter how much you achieve)#albums and activism#anyway it fascinates me to see how differently people do this kind of thing to each band member. like the vibe is different but still track#for this whole phenomenon like whether they’re seen as pretty or strong or cute or smth else that becomes the main thing not their words#and I say that but tumblr is pretty good overall. I just wish sometimes we could have a more active conversation before any tragedy#so gosh I’m ranting so much but PLEASE talk about this with me. I notice far too much and I can’t say any of it publicly#so occasionally I come out with a rant like this
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It’s wild how so many people are fundamentally incapable of recognizing queer characters unless they explicitly say the words, “I’m gay” on screen
#like season 1 and 2? sure maybe you can overlook Will’s queercoding and believe it’s just a result of the bully’s homophobia#season 3 is a huge stretch but it’s hypothetically possible to believe will is just a late-bloomer or asexual#but how on earth do you watch season 4 and still genuinely have no idea will is gay?#and this is not a rare occurrence#it’s astonishing how many people you have to literally explain the van scene to cause Will’s sexuality never crossed their mind#you didn’t see him staring longingly at his best friend the entire season?#some people’s minds are so aggressively heteronormative that they assumed will had a crush on el#and even after noah has explained that will is gay 50 million times#people still are confused and think it came out of nowhere or they quickly forget#somewhere there’s a fan who doesn’t keep up with stranger things news and doesn’t really use social media#a fan who is the exact opposite of chronically online#who hasn’t heard about NOAH coming out let alone Will’s sexuality#who will walk into season 5 and be utterly flabbergasted when Will comes out as gay (let alone when Byler happens)#and they’ll say that Will being gay is a huge plot twist they never saw coming#and they’ll be 100% sincere#and that’s truly baffling to me#do people think shows just randomly include melodramatic rain fights where ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ is said for no reason?#do people think the show went out of its way to show wills rejecting the attractive girl in his class cause they were in a silly goofy mood?#I genuinely wanna know what goes on through people’s heads when they have no gaydar or media literacy#even today there are people who still think romantic stobin should happen and think that Robin isn’t really a lesbian#will byers#byler
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Bump in the Night & Nevertober Day 8: The Darkness before Dawn & Pearls
#6#Bump in the Night#Bump in the Night 2024#Lavender Jack#Lavender Jack Webtoon#Webtoon#hellloooooooooo here’s today’s piece#This was gonna be Sawyer from the Shiloh fanfic “Dawn” by 0wlofAth3na (I believe)#But uhhh that fanfic got taken off A03 and I just had a hard time drawing Sawyer#So y’all get Mimley#I realized he stayed up practically all night the night of the masquerade ball hosted by the secret fraternity#Like he went there fought the note found Theresa rowed to the Margravine Club kissed Johnny fought off veils talked with Johnny#Went to Van Lund’s apartment and then went back to Bastrop Manor#So I believe this was at some point before dawn#they were inside for this panel so I couldn’t really tell but uh yeah#here him is#see you tomorrow!!#EDIT I DIDN'T FORGET THE NEVERTOBER NO I DIDN’T MMM MHMMM
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PAKIDGE!!!!
#val. what?#IT CAME#also#I kept forgetting it was coming today#so when I finally went to check#the delivery guy had literally just gotten there#which was freaky#like I ran up to the door#shoved my face in the window#and there he was#luckily he had turned away already#so he didn’t see me#but basically I’m psychic now so..
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Idk how welcome home has overrun literally all of my social media but I guess I welcome it
#talkingcore#I love puppets it’s all on me I’m engaging this actually isn’t a complaint more like a I Didn’t Know This Existed 24 hours ago#and now it’s literally all I’m seeing like 80% of the videos I’ve seen today have been welcome home which like honestly is super impressive#hell yeah to those creators they’ve got some insane drive#album adventure update: finally rolled good ol honorary Beach boy Glen Campbell maybe I’ll give you guys ram ranch#pip would’ve loved ram ranch 💔 rip king fly high 🕊️🧍♂️ 18 naked cowboys 😭 at the ram ranch 😰#I’ve been fucking around with lip syncing shit and it’s tedious as hell but heeehee it’s fun woooah the mouth moves wooooahaaahhhhhh#also this dude keeps leaving his Apple Watch in the practice room in my dorm and like thankfully I’m such an amazing and perfect person#that I didn’t take it the first time but the second time (like 2 weeks later) I said fuck it and just used it while it was still in there#(I’d checked at 2. saw it was there. didn’t use it. came back at 5 it was still there so like a reasonable amount of time to get it)#so I fucked around as normal but like I started getting freaked by the possibility of it listening (it probs wasn’t)#so I left but like bro how do you forget it twice why are you taking it off#I gave it to the help desk people which I think was the right thing to do but also Dude think how easily I could’ve stolen it please keep it#no longer dying of the plague but I need to hang onto my t boy swag pleasepleaseplease let me keep at least some lower notes#I will accept not hitting a G2 again but like. a C3? even just a D3 like regularly? please? please? please? hello? you’re nothing#anyway I’m avoiding my work you guys should look up The Beach Boys and Charles Manson have a gander at that for fun#thanks to my lovely institution having a strike going on by mid Thursday I’m done for the week which means I get to indulge and boy shall I#love you 🫶 go slay 🫶 have great vagina 🫶 byeeee
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Will this stay in my blog only? I don’t know I just really dislike tumblr, how do I even use this app, it’s scary and the people who draw my favorite characters all only post weird things, I have been jumpscared by odd posts of my favorites enough times I will delete this app and stay in my other socials, weirdos already suck online and it’s worse if I have to witness someone draw it out for me to see considering this is a art based app
#dontrespond#mini rant#dni post#leaving#i hate it here#i hate this app#this app is not sigma#I am lying lowkey#probably will comeback to post stupid stuff#lmfao should I spend my money ti see if I’m autistic or wtv like who even likes Nezumi actually?? are u /srs or /j#he had done such wrong I think I lowkey stopped liking him after I reread wrong park and saw he actually ordered his men to shoot nami’s si#I will come back for Jabra from one piece because he’s silly#I am making up tags on the spot I hope you all know#follow my TikTok before I get executed#today is my birthday guys btw haha I share a bday with the stupid rat from one piece who I totally didn’t have a fixation on#ew actually what no never mind Zoro is my goat because I’m a Zoro glazer#all my one piece side character favorites are odd#my own fixation disgusts me but whatever there are worse people out there with worse characters I mean look at all the Griffth defenders#if your my mutual and you read this no u didnt go away and forget everything you’ve read
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i’m so excited to see troy’s dad i listened to the rolled today and apparently it’s not what we expect so like is he gonna be like amazing or is he going to somehow be worse then troy like what happened im so excited
#my troy playlist will definitely need edits lol but to be fair the description is ‘vibe read 2 episodes in’ it was never going to be accurat#e#also like a month ago i was so convinced w the clockwork troy theory and i still really really love it and i want it so bad but idk im not#as convinced anymore#on my pin board i have two sections for him lol#the normal section i have for everyone#and below it a section ‘merge if this turns out canon’#cause it was so fucking cool and i wanted to explore it even though its still theory#there’s also some vibe reads in there as well#i haven’t looked at it since the last two eps tho since i was so busy starting school so maybe it’s time to overhaul#i feel like my pinterest alone could get me an autism diagnosis but alas i don’t want one lmao#me and the desire to collect and ‘collage’ things that remind me of a thing#and it’s all incomprehensibly organized#i’ve said it a hundred times i’ll say it again my pinterest is somehow more embarrassing then my tumblr#i just give people my tumblr#to be fair pinterest is prolly easy to find i accidentally found condis somehow but like#i did not mean to find it either i reallllly hope his last name is already public info cause if not someone other then me could also find it#intentionally or not#cause tbh i just wanted to see if people uploaded screenshots of his mc skins or stuff#i didn’t know what to do so i immediately closed it again and proceeded to immediately forget his last name#benefits of a bad memory#accidentally learned someone’s deadname once (yearbook fucking sucks they did they same to me even after i filled out the name change form)#and i don’t remember it anymore i blocked it out lol#i forget stuff that stresses me out and knowing someone’s birth name when they don’t want people to stresses me out#anyway there’s my rambles fo today i’m so sorry#like if you’re still reading though that’s on you to be fair#my post#also hopefully i didn’t say too much about the rolled but ive seen people post whole clips so i think im okay#to be fair for me personally when i hear something about something i just want the primary source even more#like if you paraphrased it i want the EXACT WORDS FEOM THEIR MPUTH WHAT IF TOU MKSSED SOMETJING WHAT IF WHAT IF primary source my beloved
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years of training managing people who just wanna shout abt their own ideas has prepared me perfectly for group interviews
#hearing back later today hopefully so we’ll see if that paid off#but man. stick a group of highly competent people in a room and make them compete and they forget other people exist#5 people in the interview and had 5 minutes for a ‘presentation’ at the end. of which I had 20-30 seconds bc nobody else knew how to shut up#idk if my thing was what they were looking for but I just tried to keep people on track and make sure nobody got left behind#and that we actually answered the question at the end. bc they forgot about that too and just went off on their own things#very smart very cool people! my ideas were not as good! but I hope I managed to build off other people’s stuff + redirect to the main thing#man also nobody else noticed this one person just straight up dropped out the call. she’d been quiet and her video froze so I checked w her#and she’s just gone. didn’t get back in until the end. feel so bad for her but she’s still easily the one I would’ve given the job to#I’m gonna try not to post mortem all the things I could’ve said better bc I had points I didn’t bring up but I think I got the big stuff.#I said what was most important and that guided the flow of the rest of the thing so I had an influence and it was a good one#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ either by the end of today or on Monday I’ll find out whether I have a SECOND interview I guess#overall feeling good! was my impression coming out of it and I’m not gonna let myself anxiety that away#luke.txt
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my favorite thing about being a person who likes to pick a Thing they like and then do that everyday forever, i love to have a habit, is when people take notice and make it like. part of how they view you. especially when it’s like someone you don’t know well like coworkers, bc then you become the coworker with that thing
#like this is just existing and liking things#but it’s always fun when ppl notice#my boss put a whole tomato on my lunch plate today bc i always ask for the same sandwich every day no tomatoes (not an allergy i just don’t#like them)#and well ok it didn’t hit as incredibly as what i’m generally talking about bc. boss.#but still! thing! i exist in your brain!!#coworkers gave me a lil gift bc i’m leaving and one of them put the same drink i get every day in there bc she knows i like it! she made#sure i knew it was her bc she knows me!!! yay!!!!!#these are all just the examples from today but like man…. my friends buying the crisps i like whenever i’m going to come over visiting…..#even just them seeing posts about A Thing they associate with me and sending it to me…..#forget the mortifying ordeal of being known#the solidifying experience of being recognised!!
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Having this scene and the “Don’t get dressed” scene in the same episode is criminal and should be punished with JAIL TIME IMMEDIATELY.
CORONATION STREET ― 22nd November 2024
#ok look#I know Carla is right I know Lisa needs to give herself a break and let herself move forward#and she does let Betsy get away with literally anything (see the episode airing in 3 hours for more details)#but this woman is PETRIFIED of losing the only other person she has left in her life#and Carla has cut her an immense amount of slack#but Lisa and Betsy’s relationship is barely hanging on by a thread#and though Betsy was out of order having a go at Lisa and Carla#THROWING WATER AT HER MOTHER (sorry Id be dead if I even thought it)#Lisa just wants to be okay again#she just wants to be that happy little unit that Betsy wants back so desperately#they are the same person just at different stages in their lives#they’re so much alike it’s insane#and I’m sorry I don’t blame a teenager for being a teenager and reacting when my mom forgets my dead mom’s birthday#and wakes up on another woman’s sofa the next day#not to mention the ‘things have moved on a bit today’#she’s reacting to all of this#and she isn’t ready#and assuming Lisa has not sat her down and told her she might be ready to start dating again#because before Carla she didn’t even know she was or she probably wasn’t#so she’s upset angry scared lashing out and she’s already pretty troubled#the swain women need therapy dude#so yes Carla is right#but i’m afraid that it can’t and shouldn’t be boiled down to those words because realistically it just isn’t that simple#Carla just doesn’t want Lisa holding the weight of the world on her shoulders and i agree with her 100%#she just wants to protect Lisa and make her happy because Lisa deserves so much happiness#i love them so much i can’t deal with sad#swarla#carla connor#lisa swain#coronation street
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