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#so when I finally went to check
burningivy · 9 months
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PAKIDGE!!!!
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crrows · 1 month
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daytrip to a chikubushima
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killjoy-prince · 7 months
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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode
#house md#prince's talk tag#flashing#repitition#so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode#so i wanted to see how many times they did it#the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do#thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day#sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances#there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show#but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it#where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that#i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh#one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there#out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are#House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park#this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own#there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this#there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time#EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title#but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time#well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video#I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it#AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe
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n0bluev · 6 months
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(eyes only 4 u)
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EDIT: HI IM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY AT THIS DRAWING HAVE SOME COLOUR BLORBSIFICATIONS
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chirpsythismorning · 2 years
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This post reminded me that Mike didn’t ask Will if he was okay at all in season 4… however:
You were rolling your eyes, you were- you were moping, you were barely talking, you basically sabotaged the whole day!
*admits subtly that he noticed based on Will’s behavior that he wasn’t okay*
I didn’t say it! / You didn’t have to.
*admits subtly that Will doesn’t need to spell stuff out (or even say anything at all) for him to understand*
At times when the audience is getting signs that Will isn't okay, Mike has been right there asking because he rightfully sensed it. Like, this has gotta be the most consistent thing about Mike's character over the course of the series, which that original post proves (though it's missing the iconic He's quiet today.! Are we forgetting anything else?!).
Despite s4 presumably stopping this trend, they're still showing us subtly that Mike is taking notice:
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This shot above is unique because what it does is use framing/camerawork to hint to the audience that this is arguably Mike's perspective.
At the start of this shot, both El and Will are framed fairly equally, with Mike being the last to join the frame as the camera dollies out. This allows us to feel like we're seeing what Mike is seeing, whether we realize it or not. By framing the shot this way, they're telling us that Mike views both El AND Will as an option. El, because they have a history romantically and it's sort of an easy path for Mike to stay in for the rest of his life. Will, his best friend with whom he has very strong (romantic) feelings for, and so he ranks high up in Mike's line of focus among El, his girlfriend.
This shot above also shows us Mike staring at Will, if only for fleeting moment. But, it's there.
These tiny moments are important, because despite them existing, a vast majority of the audience didn't pick up on them, including most bylers. They're your standard blink and you'll miss it moments.
Because yeah, maybe Will does feel Mike's eyes on him, but the second Will looks to check, Mike isn't looking. Or most of the day, Mike did in fact look like he was having a jolly old time.
This is what's being presented to us blatantly, out in the open, and with Will at the center of it all..
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The truth is, while we think we're getting Will's POV exclusively, most of the time, we're getting his and El's AND Mike's. It's just that they go about all of their POV's differently, but especially Mike's. His follows a formula of subtlety like 99% of the time. That small meager 1% where they let us see the truth, varies from outrageously subtle to subtle.
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Here, Will is understandably confused by Mike giving him a play-by-play of his behavior throughout day. After all, from Will's perspective, aka the unreliable perspective the audience is being fed, Mike wasn't even looking at him. Again, if anything Mike seemed like he was having a good time up to this point. And so upon hearing this, Will, and arguably anyone watching this scene for the first time, was probably left thinking, 'Wait?.. What?"
I have a theory, which honestly isn't that far fetched, seeing as it works in tandem with how a lot of this season has presented POV in a multitude of ways, whether it be lighting, framing, blocking, camerawork, editing, dialogue, etc., they are definitely giving us hints.
These posts (here, here) will be helpful to understand everything that follows in terms of context, so I do recommend checking them out!
Basically this theory holds weight to me because of what is being blatantly shown to us: Mike ignoring Will/having a great day aka Will's POV vs. what is being subtly shown to us: Mike glancing at Will when Will isn't looking/telling Will that him showing signs of not being okay ruined the day aka Mike's POV.
I've also done a post on El's POV which may very well hold the truth to everything, even more so than Will and Mike's POV's , so please check that out if you want your mind blown.
Now, when I say POV, I'm being as loose as possible in my definition. We know that it's a camera, not literally the eyes of the person's perspective we're in (though that can be a technique in and of itself).
An OTS (over the shoulder) shot is the best example of how perspective tends to operate in film. And we saw how that technique in particular was used a lot in the van, monologue, and cabin scenes. Those are arguably more blatant examples in s4 of POV shots.
However, shots that are hinting at a specific POV don't start and end with OTS, nor shots using more literal POV techniques. There's other ways to hint at POV/inner feelings. It's even possible for one shot/sequence to represent multiple POV's at once. It sounds complicated, but it's really not.
Although Will's perspective is the main one we're being fed, it's not the whole truth, or it's at least missing an important detail...
It's not until we're given that crumb from Mike himself, in which he spit-fires out a list of Will's actions throughout the day, that we get any sort of context for Mike's aloof behavior. This line alone reveals to us that there is apparently a lot more to these scenes than meets the eye, when it comes to how Mike is behaving vs. how he's actually feeling.
Because if most of the audience is convinced Mike never looked at Will, just like Will is convinced, then that puts into question when exactly Mike would’ve even been looking to pick up on all of this, enough for it to ruin the day, and despite him behaving like he was happy as ever...?
And so, the answer?
Arguably, literally any time Mike was out of the frame, but especially when Mike was out of the frame while Will is in the frame, front and center (aka most of s4?), are fair game for times Mike could’ve been looking at Will. It's just that what we're being shown is not Mike actually looking and reacting each of these times. Instead, we're shown what he just literally sees, which is Will...
And that's what makes the following scenes with Angela and El extremely important, because they support this theory, heavily.
As El, Angela and her minions all skate away, we see Mike and Will stay behind in the booth. We then get a reaction shot with both of them in the frame. But the thing is, reaction shots usually require reactions.
While Will is standing up, looking visibly concerned for El, because he actually has the context for what's going on, Mike contrasts greatly in comparison.
Mike goes from looking back and forth between where Will was sitting across from him, to the direction El and Angela just rolled off to, only to look away the instant Will is fully standing and staring off in that same direction.
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Mike then proceeds to give us no reaction, in what is presumably a reaction shot. It's as if Mike is not feeling any emotion at all, which is kind of a hard thing to do if you really think about it.
Especially when it comes to a character like Mike Wheeler, whose literally known for his dramatic facial expressions, meaning him not showing any emotion at all, for most of this sequence, likely required quite a bit of effort on his part...
Mike's 'reaction' is so vague that I can guarantee most of the audience wasn't even paying attention to him for this shot. And quite honestly this could apply to a lot of Mike's scenes this season, where whenever the two of them are having a heart to heart or something of that nature, the viewer's eye gravitates towards Will (also my theory for why the ga is convinced Finn is a bad actor, which is bc he is acting as a character whose also acting. Mike is leaving us in the dark about everything he is thinking and feeling, by only showing us what he literally sees, which is WILL WILL WILL).
The van scene is one good example of this, where so many fans still aren't aware of Finn's micro-expressions and what they clearly mean, all because they were too busy giving all their attention to Will's speech and his emotions (we're just like Mike fr).
And so here we have Will in the forefront showing a lot more emotion in this particular shot (he has our attention), while Mike is in the background, casually taking another sip of his milkshake.
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But why is Mike busying himself with his milkshake in the first place? Why isn't he still looking at El and her friends like he just was? Or why doesn't he just look up at Will to start a conversation?
Instead, what we get is Mike distracting himself...
And it's because, just like Will's perspective of this day, Mike's context for everything up to this point is nowhere close to the truth, if anything it's even further from the truth than Will's.
Although I already linked the refresher course(s), I'm going to give a more detailed refresher, bc a lot of it was only images w/out context:
Mike thinks Angela is not only one of El's new friends in Lenora, but also the girl Will made the painting for (both of which he read about in her letter at the start of s4). Mike tests out this theory when he asks Will about the painting at the airport, only to be shot down. In Mike's eyes, this supports El's theory that the painting is likely for a girl. Still, it appears Mike hasn't totally given up on getting some answers, and so (glancing at Will) he mentions the possibility of them running into friends. This causes Will to interrupt with the comment, Friends? What friends?! To the audience, this is Will making a confused remark about the fact that El has no friends. But to Mike, Will's comment comes off as a nervous Friends? What friends?? Which friends? You mean her?? And so when El says, You know, Stacy and Angela, Will's worried response Angela? is again, a worrisome realization on Will's part that El is lying to Mike (WE the audience understand this). However, to Mike, it's Will singling out this girl's name because she is THE girl (Maybe it is for a girl! I think there is someone he likes...)! But then El is saying that they'll meet her friends another day, reassuring Mike that today is just about him and her. And Mike looks pretty smug about this reassurance, followed by kissing El's forehead dramatically as they walk out of the airport. Mike then begins to associate Will's moping for the rest of the afternoon, with him being bitter that they're not going to run into Angela like he'd probably hoped, so that he could give her the painting. Mike continues to play the part of perfect boyfriend, especially now after assuming Will is, for the very first time, pursing a girl... "I mean what did you think? Really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends.--" Oh, how the turntables.
And so now, looking back at this shot and this whole sequence, within the context of Mike thinking Angela is the girl Will made the painting for, makes Mike's behavior a whole lot easier to understand.
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Also, what makes the very end of this shot, just so fucking crazy to me, is that, for a split second, we see Mike's facade start to crack. For a split second, as the camera starts to hone in on Will, with Mike slowly exiting the frame, it's at this moment that his signature annoyed scowl makes an appearance. But then poof, he's gone.
And isn't it so convenient that they're cutting us off, right before we could get to the part that would've revealed Mike's true emotions during this moment? And that it ends with us focusing on Will...?
Let’s try to understand this even more, because I feel like so much gets overlooked about these scenes at Rink-O-Mania.
Mike had spent all day trying to ignore the fact that Will was clearly not okay. What he would usually do in that situation, is just ask Will, 'Hey, you okay?'. But Mike wasn't being his true self during these moments. Argyle even prefaced Mike's behavior in this episode by calling his shirt a shitty 'knock off', just like how Mike was acting, FAKE!
If it were any other season, Mike would've asked Will if he was okay. Instead, for the first time, he's now bottling up that instinct. But why?
I think it could be a combination of things honestly, and that's probably most likely.
I think after the reunion at the airport, Mike came to the conclusion Will was showing symptoms of experiencing a crush on a girl, genuinely, for the first time. And so as this is starting to unravel, Mike's going from wanting to get to the bottom of it, only to backtrack, wanting to abort the mission entirely.
I also think a part of it could be that, Mike himself is obviously not okay. And so maybe he feels slightly unequipped to handle asking Will if he's okay, knowing deep down he's not okay himself.
I also think that, this is a TV show. And so if they're choosing to not let us see Mike's true emotions outright, specifically in relation to him picking up on Willis behavior, then there must be for a reason for that, right?
It must be because the surprise they're saving, relies on us assuming for now, just like Will, that Mike doesn't like him back. Everything taking place as of now is moving the plot forward, with a plan for this revelation to be revealed closer to the end, as opposed to now, in the beginning of the end.
Having Mike blatantly stare at Will the whole season, out in the open, would've made the revelation that Mike feels the same in s5, anti-climactic. However, having subtle evidence that Mike was staring at Will most of the season, which most viewers missed all the signs of, despite them being there, is going to make the revelation that Mike feels the same in s5, epic.
On top of everything going on, I think it's important to also acknowledge that Mike feel's indebted to El. He will never not feel like he owes her everything, and that she deserves the world. And so this whole situation isn't just about Mike's repressed feelings or insecurities or whatever. It's also about Mike trying as hard as he can to be who he thinks El deserves and therefore who she needs him to be. It's the least he can do.
Only problem is, that person is not him and it can't be him.
And so we see Mike overcompensating because he feels like El deserves these gestures and there is this expectation of what they should do because they're bf/gf (THATS BC SHES MY GF, WILL). There's the pressure of that on its own, combined with Mike grappling with Will's behavior over his crush on a girl, which just makes Mike feel even more insecure about his relationship with El.
Arguably, for a while now, Mike has probably become somewhat aware that he doesn't have as strong of romantic feelings for El as he might've thought he did at one point, or even lead her to believe. And Will presumably gifting this girl a painting... like, it's got Mike really self reflecting like, 'SHIT! I'm clearly not down that bad for El... and so, does that mean--'...
This huge insecurity for Mike, with the whole I love you thing, is just getting so big that he can't ignore it anymore, because he KNOWS what he sees as real love, ie, his feelings for Will + what he assumes to be Will's feelings for this girl, and that.. that's not what he feels for El. And so he holds himself back from taking that step in saying it, all this time, because he doesn't want to lie.
And yet, he still tries.
He tries to act interested in everything El has to say. And it's not even that he's not interested in what she has to say, it's just that this act of ignoring the fact that Will doesn't appear to be okay, while also acting like he's having the time of his life, requires a lot of focus. And even despite his performance being pretty believable, the truth behind his actions still falls through the cracks.
I saw someone post about this recently (if anyone knows who, pls comment), and it's this shot with the three of them in the booth at Rink-O-Mania, where we see El resting her hand, palm up on her lap under the table, in a way that makes it look like she's waiting for Mike to take it.
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Holding hands under the table is the kind of gesture a couple does when they want to share a moment of intimacy, without making others around them uncomfortable over their PDA.
But that's the problem isn't it? Mike is overcompensating with a lot of these gestures he does with El, like bringing her flowers, putting his arm around her, kissing her forehead, holding her hand. He's not doing these things because he wants to have this kind of intimacy with El (we know that he doesn't because he literally squished his gift for her, in between them when they reunited, so that he had an excuse for them to separate), but because he wants to be who El needs him to be. He also wants to be believable in his performance that he's not shitting bricks over all of this back and forth with his best friend.
And so what even is the point, if no one can see Mike's hand holding El's under the table? If Will can't see it?
Then to top it all off, in the middle of Mike's subtextual dig about how his milkshake is 'better', suddenly Angela is rolling up to them.
And it's at this point that Mike's whole facade really starts to crumble, where he can't even fully pick up on what is happening with El and Angela, because he's too distracted by Will, followed by trying way too hard to act like Will 'longing' for Angela is not affecting him (NO BUT WHY IS MIKE LITERALLY THE 'IM FINE THIS IS FINE' SIPPING HIS COFFEE WHILE THERE ARE FLAMES SURROUNDING HIM GIF HERE???).
What I love about this shot is that it can easily be overlooked and confused with Mike genuinely not caring about Will at all. And that's what is so incredible about subtlety. Something as subtle as no emotion at all on Mike's face, a renowned facial expression enthusiast, can somehow say so much more about Mike's true feelings for Will, than an outright look.
For this whole shot, we're assuming we're in Will's perspective, which happens A LOT of the time in s4 (even in Milkvan scenes) because like I said, whenever Will is in the frame while Mike is also present, we tend to hone in on him a little more than the others (THAT'S INTENTIONAL).
Still, whenever you see Mike creeping out of the frame, we now know it's arguably fair game that Mike could be staring at Will at this very moment, while Will, and the audience, are distracted.
Which is why this happens...
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We do not get any shots of Mike at this time. Until....
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The second Will voices worriedly, "Oh no!" Mike is jumping out of his seat, standing next to Will, turning to face the same direction as him, like, "What?"
I'm sorry but, it's just not natural for Mike to have responded to Will instantaneously like this, within the context of what he was doing the last time we got a shot of him, especially in this case, where Will wasn't even speaking directly to Mike.
The only way it makes sense for Mike to have spawned beside Will like that, is if Mike was already looking at Will...
Him responding that quickly, meant looking at Will while he spoke, hearing what he said, and seeing where he was looking, so that Mike could jump up that fast, ready for whatever Will was reacting to.
Will is reacting to the scene of El and Angela in front of him.
Mike is reacting to Will react to the scene of El and Angela in front of him.
I want to bring up @dinitride-art's Lighting and Mike and Will and El - Full Analysis posts (specifically the ones related to Rink-O-Mania, but there are plenty of others they have in that thread, that could help everyone try to better understand a lot of s4 scenes as well). Without them, I never would've realized a lot of this.
The main points I want to touch on from their analysis', is the use of the disco ball in these scenes at Rink-O-Mania and how they often operate to tell a story, one that often has Will at the center...
Let's try to keep in mind that disco balls often act as focal points whenever they are in a space, in this case, the rink at Rink-O-Mania. Disco balls are covered in mirrors, which reflect tiny beams of light throughout a room... Are you catching my drift?...
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Yes, undoubtedly, lighting plays a big part in telling the story, along with music!
@lesbianmindflayer has done a video on this, but basically the lyrics to the song You Spin Me Right Round (Right Round) are also hinting at POV and context to these scenes, like music often does in ST.
One specific example she uses of this disco ball in action (combining both lighting, framing, camera-movement and music,) is when we go from Mike's POV, with the disco ball above Will (Mike being bummed Will didn't even look at him or laugh at his sock joke) to El's POV with the disco ball above Mike (El after being called out by Will that Mike is going to be mad when he finds out she's been lying).
So, keeping all of this in mind, watching Angela drag El to the middle of the rink, directly under the disco ball, with that snarky 'stay put!" comment, only to laugh knowingly... followed by Mike finally paying attention to El properly???? And this is what it took??? A spotlight?? And not only that but Will directing Mike's focus to it like, 'Hey, dude! Maybe pay attention to your gf bc she's having problems here' (I'm sensing a pattern...).
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Unfortunately, it's too little too late.
As this is all coming to a head, Mike feels horrible about being too distracted with the fact that Will wasn't okay, that he wasn't able to pick up on the fact that El wasn't okay either. And so tries his best to fix things by getting the music to stop and to go comfort El.
But then El's running away, out of the spotlight and fittingly out of Mike's focus.
While looking for El, him and Will begin bickering.
Now, Mike knows the painting must not be for Angela. He's embarrassed and he's pissed and he's upset, but he's also just even more confused. The instinct to figure out why Will was upset, is unwavering. Now that his theory has presumably been debunked, Mike slips back into this old habit.
"You were rolling your eyes, you were-- you were moping, you were barely talking, you basically sabotaged to whole day!" aka "You're clearly not okay. I thought I knew why, but I was wrong. It's been miserable".
What Mike gets by subtly calling out Will for his behavior, is the revelation that, yes Will was upset El lied to him, but he was also miserable over the fact that he felt like a third wheel all day.
More angst and miscommunication ensues.
Though all too soon, El is hitting Angela with a skate and everything is happening so fast.
In the following episode, things get even more interesting.
We start with Mike standing next to Will, away from El. We get another shot that's arguably Mike's POV (@dinitride-art did a really good analysis on this shot, please check it out for further details)... but basically it proves Mike's whole 'I've never been scared of you, EVER' part of his monologue, followed by thunder, was indeed not exactly the truth.
And what follows in the next scene is even more damning.
Because what we get for the first time this season, is a shot of Mike, front and center, looking at Will, and interestingly enough, while Will isn't looking ..
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Even though they are giving this to us outright, it's still not blatant. And I say this because, again, I can guarantee you most of the audience didn't pick up on it.
This shot was arguably necessary for the context of everything that followed, with Mike saying that rude remark to El at dinner.
Because it turns out Will was right for being upset about El lying, just considering everything that's played out this evening. And on top of that, Mike's also still reeling from the fact that Will was upset because he felt like they weren't best friends anymore. This was apparently enough to be a big part of the reason Will was miserable all day, aka Mike was miserable all day because of his perceived misery of Will who himself was also moping because Mike wasn't paying attention to him. This is news to Mike, as he's been lead to believe the opposite up to this point, seeing as he's also the one whose been making most of the calls, unanswered.
TBH this scene in particular provides a really important aspect of this theory as a whole, because although it seems minor and blink and you'll miss it like all the others. Unlike the majority, it shows us something that could very well hold the truth to something we still don't quite understand. More on that at the end.
I also don't want to forget the most hilarious Mike POV evidence of all, and it's the infamous 'triple take' in the junkyard.
Some bylers noticed this pretty early on, while others probably still don't have a clue about the implications.
Allow me to explain.
Within the context of subtle Mike POV vs. unreliable Will POV, let's think about how this sequence starts with the audience looking at Will. He's hoeing (because he doesn't have a shovel). Then suddenly, after a few seconds of the camera being focused on only him, we see Will now looking up at Mike, with him stopping and staring as he does so.
Once we get a reaction shot of Mike, we see he's not shoveling, he's actually standing still with the shovel resting on the ground, staring down, almost in a daze, zoned out. But then suddenly, he's looking up at Will. And the expression he makes once his eyes reach Will, is....
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Pining. It's pining, your honor.
For a split second, this is the expression of a person looking at someone with whom they assume isn't looking.
Mike goes from still and focused, to wide eyed, as he scrambles back to shoveling.
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The general audience actually interpreted this scene fairly accurately, it's just that they got it wrong it terms of whose actually doing the pining.
Because arguably, if Mike could sense Will looking at him, whose to say Will couldn't sense Mike?
Whose to say it wasn't Mike who was initially staring at Will, which is why he stopped shoveling in the first place. Though at some point while he was watching Will hoeing, with the camera focusing on him, just like Mike, Mike zoned out to collect his thoughts. And so, when he looks back up, to return to staring at Will again, only to discover Will was already looking at him, he understandably went, OH SHIT MISSION ABORT.
THEY ARE USING EDITING TO SAY HEY LOOK AT WILL! SEE HOW HES GLOWING? SEE HOW HE'S IN THE CENTER OF THE FRAME? IN FOCUS? ALMOST ALL OF THE TIME? ALMOST AS IF WE CANT TAKE OUR EYES OFF OF HIM???
WAIT!?...
WHERE'S MIKE?
OH THERE HE IS!
WE ARE MIKE!!
All this time we were convinced the POV was definitively Will's, with Mike's POV missing. And so therefore, a lot of bylers at least, have made the likely claim that Will's POV cannot be reliable. But what if it is reliable, in that finding out a lot of these moments of us getting Will at the center, was also a part of Mike's POV all along... meaning it's not inherently unreliable, in that in and of itself it holds the truth...
Now, you might be thinking, why couldn't they have shown us Mike staring at Will, at least once, if this is in fact what's happening a lot of the time?
And oh honey... They did.
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Isn't it almost poetic, that the moment they FINALLY decide to show us the truth, a shot, with both Will AND Mike in the frame, equally, with Mike continuing the stare at Will the second Will looks away (even if it's for just a small, albeit drawn out moment) this is what follows:
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Will handing the painting over to Mike.
Everything. All of this miscommunication about a girl and the painting, essentially Mike's very own unreliable POV has been leading up to this moment.
Which brings me back to this...
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WHY!?
WHY HAVE PARALLEL SHOTS OF MIKE NOT LOOKING AT EL IN THE VAN SCENE IN 4x03 VS. MIKE LOOKING AT WILL IN THE VAN SCENE IN 4x08???
WHY HAVE MIKE BE IN FOCUS AND UNBOTHERED IN HIS SHOT WITH EL, WHILE HAVING MIKE BE OUT OF FOCUS AND APPEARING.... EMOTIONLESS ALMOST (REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT PRESUMABLY EMOTIONLESS MIKE??? HMMMM) IN HIS SHOT WITH WILL?
WHY HAVE MIKE'S MOST CONSISTENT, REDEEMING TRAIT, HIS ABILITY TO SENSE WHEN WILL'S NOT OKAY, BE PRESENT EVERY SEASON, ONLY TO REMOVE IT BLATANTLY THIS SEASON, BUT LEAVE SIGNS THAT HE IS STILL INDEED PAYING ATTENTION IN THE SUBTEXT, ONLY TO HAVE IT ALL COME CRUMBLING DOWN, TO NOTHING, WITH THIS SCENE!?!?!?!?
Does this mean I'm trying to indoctrinate everyone into fully believing Mike knew Will was lying and even crying in the van scene? No, because honestly, I don't think I fully believe that myself. I also think that to say a scene is definitively this or that is naive because, for all we know the story depends on certain scenes having certain truths over certain periods of time.
Like right now, maybe they want us to believe that Mike didn't understand Will, and the story requires us to look at it that way, for now, and also going into s5?
We know that the Duffers would prefer that the average fan doesn't pick up on byler. And so arguably, there are a lot of layers of awareness happening here, regardless of this specific theory. Just in terms of all the assumed truths and the actual truths. There's what the ga assumes vs. what bylers assume, but I think there could be another hidden truth beyond that, perhaps what they knew bylers would assume based on what they said ('he just missed it, not in a bad way/while he may not fully pick up on it--' Duffer's talking about Mike in the van scene), and they were anticipating all of that, meaning despite all of our expectations, there's very likely a surprise in store for us as well.
I do want to make clear, despite me thinking this all makes a lot of sense, as a byler it's like DAMN why couldn't we get the exact moment Mike realized it and like, get to see him act on it?
I think that's the ideal situation? But even still, this theory explains a lot.
It means Mike never stopped paying attention. It also explains why he gravitated towards Will at the end of s4, after his failed love confession. It explains why he looked heartbroken after Will encouraged him to confess his love to El.
We talk about this all the time, but because there are so many tiny moments, where it seemed like Mike realized something over the seasons, we'll find posts saying this moment or that was THE moment. But what I really think it is, is the uncertainty and the hope and the denial all working against each other. Arguably, Mike has already has his realization moment plenty of times by now, in little moments. It's just that what he's been experiencing is, something along the lines of, he loves me! he loves me not. he loves me! he loves me not, and so on and so forth.
His behavior over the seasons, has been impacted by this confusing, back and forth miscommunication between him and Will.
All very remanent of the lyrics to Time After Time if you ask me...
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findmeinthefallair · 2 months
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It's so weird to think that the US is currently 5-8 hours behind me instead of the 12-15 hours that I'm used to
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tamagotchikgs · 21 days
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gamers i fear my arm is infected this might b the last of tamagotchikgs
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The Healthcare horrors persist
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#Updates on this whole mess:#Im insured under my dad#he has Healthcare option 1 which is government provided since he is retired millitary and option 2 due to his new job#after his retirement option 1 went funky for me and changed things around meaning i was no longer able to be seen by my pcp#Im also unable to log in to any of my accounts for 1 so im not sure whats going on there and what plan of 1 i have specifically#so i switched to a new pcp which accepted option 2 (which was super hard to find) literally last week#made an appointment with her for next month so i can finally get answers about my funky blood test results#(which is still don't know what specifically is wrong with it! for all i know i could just have high cholesterol-#or i could have markers for rheumatoid arthritis instead of my prior fibromyalgia diagnosis!)#(i also do not get refils for my anxiety medication until i have an appointment with my new doctor)#crisis averted right? WRONG!#I just got a call from my Dad saying he is switching jobs so I am no longer insured under 2#meaning...#1) i need to call option 1 and figure out how to get into my accounts and what my insurance is#2) check that this pcp acceprs said insurance#3) find yet another pcp if she doesnt and make an appointment for god knows when#and here is the kicker:#since option 1 is government and millitary based it is going to take FOREVER to get anything done#And Im not sure if they are going to want me to renew my millitary dependent ID or not#because that shit is EXPIRED and i was under the impression i can no longer renew it due to his retirement#but also in order to make any acoount with option 1 they require a benefits number which expires alongside the ID#Then on the other side of things i also have my wisdom teeth surgery to schedule (through my mom thank god)#and school starting again in a few weeks#going to defenestrate myself istg
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dragonanne4fun · 4 months
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#hmm🫤#is it time to abandon this desperate desire to meet someone organically in person and finally wade into the world of online dating?#obviously. i would still be incredibly open to meeting someone organically#but is it time to start actively looking online??#30yrs is not that far off for me and....I'm ready to have that person who is *my person*#the person i can call when I'm lonely and not feel like a loser because i know they want to share in my company as much as i do theirs#someone who will kiss my forehead and let me lean against them while we watch a movie#someone who will play new board games with me and maybe even some Dnd#i was feeling the Big Sad Lonely last night so today I got out of the house and drove into the city to go to a few shops...#...and just drive in the traffic (I'm a weirdo who actually enjoys city driving on highways)#and one shop i went to was a big game and ttrpg store (so much awesome stuff)#when i checked out i had such a lovely pleasant and fun interaction with the guy at the checkout#he was kinda handsome. not a chad by any means but he seemed cool and had such an attractive voice#and i know nothing about him/his values/his life--not even his name#but i tell you. if that store wasn't 1.5hrs from my house--I'd be dropping in a lot more often just to maybe get to know him a little better#he was so nice and i felt like there was some chemistry there???#maybe??????#but i feel like the odds of us actually sharing all/most of the same values are low so I'm just torturing myself by dwelling on it probably#the ramblings of a dragon#i want a man. a fun godly. creative man#maybe i should be looking online 🫠
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simptasia · 2 months
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mum wasn't much into DS9, she didnt like it when it was airing, and only really started to get into it in the later years of her life. she loved quark. but still, i'm glad she got to see "dr. bashir i presume?" before she died
and she loved it
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dreamlogic · 5 months
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musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"
#meatsuit renno#chronic blogging#ctxt#at first post-hysto pain was a deep burning ache#and eventually that lessened on my left side and settled in for the long haul on the right#after a couple weeks it had started to feel like a small carnivorous creature scrabbling and gnawing at the inside of my abdomen#nestled into the hollow of my pelvis and reaching up with its raking claws#about 6 months in and the creature still chewed occasionally but had shrunk to the size of a tennis ball under my right incision site#it clamped its jaws down and went to sleep and i perpetually felt like someone had pinched a fold of my insides with a large binder clip#this constant awful twisting tug every time i moved that kept me from straightening up or breathing fully#this is about a year into recovery and my original surgeon has blown off my requests for follow-up treatment three times now#i carried on as best i could. fatigue and brainfog getting worse & worse as the pain wore on unrelentingly#about a year and a half into recovery it worsened again. searing lancing pain like i'd been impaled on a piece of white hot rebar#couldn't hardly move. couldn't think straight. couldn't sleep#finally checked myself into urgent care & then the ER just to try to get someone anyone to take me seriously and help me#finally got a referral to a new surgeon who immediately pinned it as extreme neuropathy#started gabapentin end of december last year and the relief was immediately#i never thought i would welcome the gritted teeth vice grip of my little feral pain creature#but when i felt the molten spike slide out to be replaced once more by its worrying jaws#the intermittent spark and fizzle of that pinching squirming pain was a dramatic improvement#then i started PT in march and slowly so slowly the creature's hungry grip is loosening#it still clamps down occasionally. maybe once every week or two i'll have a day when i just accept#that there will be a horrible little creature chewing on my right side from the inside#but nowadays with the gabapentin doing as much as it can and an exercise routine i must stick to religiously to supplement PT#the pain is more of a little pearl of dark matter shifting around under my skin#it's incredibly dense. the heart of a black hole of disabling agony. all that white hot fury condensed into a slick heavy marble#as i recover some of my strength and energy i can feel my body coating it in nacreous layers to minimize its influence#my hysterectomy was 2 years and 4 days ago today and i feel like i can finally finally say i'm beginning to truly heal#i suspect i'll always carry this pearl in my side like shrapnel. product of damaged nerve tissue that went untreated for far too long#i wish my original surgeon had been more competent more attentive less lazy & indifferent to my pain. but i still don't have any regrets.
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don't want to declare victory for the war on ants quite yet but i think i did win a battle...
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junonreactor · 1 month
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right. so
#the king's explanation for wanting to preserve vaugarde in time mentioning coming with no name + the ending lines ''not when i still can't#say it''. i'm guessing he and siffrin are both from the island that got wiped? and the king retains/has recalled just enough to be fucked u#in a very specific way about it + wanting the most surefire way possible to ensure vaugarde can't meet the same fate#siffrin's muttering while crafting maybe has to do with Craft as well? i'll have to get the carving tools to check but maybe ''time craft''#was more of a thing there...? and something about the favor tree. i'm not giving up on that there's a shiny book we can't read in the secre#library in the shelf between ''we lost colors'' and ''how to make a time stop shield''.#fun things to chew on this loop.#also i felt so stupid because i was running through and i. Forgot to level grind. so i went in there without an aoe heal#besides siffrin's regen. it was fine obviously but man.#head housemaiden time :)#''finally you'll all be able to go home!'' funnier the second time around. even if i'm not right about the island#everyone saying goodbye to sif like they're so sure they're itching to travel alone again ;; guys they love you#c'mon beau you can do it#HELP ME. MIRABELLE. GIVE US LIKE 10 SECONDS HE WAS SO CLOSE#also i thought this last time as well but didn't we explicitly have dialogue about him not wanting to go back to his old job#i'm sure it'll be addressed in his sidequests. maybe#ein babbles#isat blogging#''why do you write your entire post in the tags'' builtin read more
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sleevebuscemii · 1 month
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like this post if you think joseph from the kia service station at [redacted] blvd in [redacted] should kill himself.
#i finally got my car back and then the next day i open the trunk to find it full of broken glass from when it was stolen#even tho theyve had my car for a month and half and it’s literally.#they’re fucking job. and pretty bare minimum to return the car to me not filled with broken fucking glass.#and so i called joseph the manager handling my case and said im bringing the car in tomorrow for you guys to clean it#and i brought the car in and they had me wait in the lobby for an hour and so i went to go get an update and#so i went to go get an update and i found the car just sitting there and go to joseph and im like is it done?#and he’s like oh yeah! its done like he completely forgot about it and i go okay im gonna double check it#and i double check it and got glass shards stuck in my palm because they didn’t vaccum the backseats#even tho they had me waiting for an hour and i told them to do the whole car because there was some glass in the backseat too#and i pull the glass shards out of my fucking hand and go back inside and hold up my bleeding fucking palms to joseph#and say there are glass shards all over the backseat#and he just looks at me like ‘ok what do you want me to do about that’#so i asked him for napkin and left.#his stupid fucking blank stare is burned in my head and has ruined my life. frankly.#it’s not about the glass it’s about the fucking. disrespect.#and because of all that we missed the farmers market#even tho i am wearing the perfect farmers fit and i was so excited to go to the farmers market in it#m
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bmpmp3 · 2 months
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holy FUCK IA's voisona 2.0 is OUT
#sorry this is just a 3 second made solfege with all auto tuning i just got the update downloaded LOL#am i insane. was i just not paying enough attention to their twitters or was this like shadow dropped#i mean we knew it would come someday but i think i forgot that like#voisona seems to do this with their 2.0s. they barely build any hype they just give em to you LOL#girl so much is happening rn. ia and one 2.0..... takuto's voicevox bank was finally announced.......#i have so many things i want to draw celebration doodles of. so many.#also this is unrelated but downloaded ia's 2.0 made me realize i was like three or so versions behind in voisona#because i like never update things in general and also i didnt realize they had updated so much#BUT holy shit. they added so much stuff so many presets and fun little bits BUT SPECIFICALLY#the tune parameter... that changes how much autopitch it has.... holy shit#now you can make a full pitchsnapping thing.... or you can have a blank slate when doing ur own tuning.... awesome#the husky parametre is still a little strange tho. its uh. so in cevio its basically just breathiness#but in voisona is like. tense and kinda. wet? you can get a but of subtle breathiness but mostly it just sounds like theyre hissing#like a cat. which can be good. but i abuse breathiness and tension in other software so i would love some parametres akin to that#although you can get some of that through the presets in the properties at least#so i would love some easier ways to play around with softness and breathiness. you can kind of fudge it with volume but its tough#but impromptu voisona editor 1.11 first impressions review aside im so excited#i neeeeeed to plug in as many covers as i can right NOW just to hear her voice AUUUUUUUHHHHHHH#unfollow me now this will be the only thing i talk about for the next week etc etc#edit: like immediately after I posted this i went back on twitter to double check something and then saw the new#cfm news. jesus christ today has been crazy for vocal synths truly
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arcaneyouth · 2 months
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theyve gotta stop doing this to me
#spider right up next to my bed again :/#vent post#negative#its whatever. it didnt reveal itself to me a terrifying way this time so im not freaked out more just annoyed#and theres no other spiders in our spare room so i can sleep there#its just stupid?? like come on man. stop that#kinda tempted to ask that we get rid of the top bunk of my bed#which would mean i dont.... get my nice comfy lil bed cave anymore#but it would mean i no longer have to be terrified theyll yknow. crawl onto my face again.#i dunno if i could give my bed cave up tho its so nice#ill have dad check out the sealing on my window first before i think about that#cause i knowwww those lil shits are coming in from there#they pretty much always spawn in my room from there#unless its the lil babies in which case they try to fall on my computer from the vent above me#but i can handle the lil babies i can put those ones outside theyre literally tiny#tho it might be fuckin useful to put the damn vent cover back on my vent finally.#gaugh. i hate summer. i hate that my fucking room is a spider magnet. go awayyyy#i think that last spider encounter tho may have been genuinely traumatizing tho#cause i can HANDLE spiders. i cant get rid of them but i can cope with them existing#if theyre out of sight theyre not my problem!#but i like. couldnt handle not knowing where this one was. i needed to be sure or i wasnt gonna rest#and when i did find it it was in kind of a bad spot so the shit im scared will happen again was totally possible#so while normally it wouldve been Fine the moment it went out of sight#this time im sleeping in the spare room. sighs loudly#whatever. the spare beds comfy and i managed to grab all my stuff so im all set up#just annoyed
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