#School of Health management
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Me: Peacefully reading my psychology textbook, enjoying learning new things
The Textbook: Yeah so prolonged stress has actually been proven to lead to a much higher risk for a variety of health issues
Me:
Me: Ah.
#I mean I already knew that in general#but it made me realize#the constant fatigue I was dealing with for the past several years#got significantly better when I stopped being in a constant super high stress situation#it's not all the way better#but I no longer feel so constantly exhausted that I HAVE to take several naps a day to avoid passing out#and I guess that just really upset me#to realize how much that shit fucked up my health#how much better my last years of high school could have gone if I hadn't been in that situation#also the money that could have been saved bc I probably wouldn't have bothered with medical help#if the fatigue had been where it is now because while it's still noticeable now it's actually reasonably managable#psychology#psychology major#rant
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very very tired of all the many many things :')
#hello friends. it's the semi-yearly check-in.#school is rough this year but I'm hanging in there#I feel tired basically all the time and feel like all the motivation I have is what I can manage to scrape out from under my fingernails.#but I'm also very glad to be back at school for many reasons#I am working through some weird emotions that I didn't entirely expect (missing graduates from last year far more than I had planned to)#(a few specific people especially which is... interesting. I would much rather ignore some of that than try to interact with it.#but I'm trying to handle it as healthily as I can.#and I got to see a bunch of them last weekend for a little while and that was lovely)#(I may hop on and give some more detail about this later but for now that's where it's at)#I've been struggling with what people think of me/how to measure up LOTS more this semester so far and I really hate how it makes me feel#so if y'all want to pray for that... would appreciate it :)#also my roommate is having some really concerning health things going on and we're trying our best to muscle through but it's getting rathe#heavy for both of us. prayers for her would be appreciated as well.#also funny thing has happened -- i'm in a reading group thing with the guy I mentioned briefly here last semester#(the one I looked at and was like “aw shoot he's really cute” but didn't really know at all at the time)#so I've been able to actually have some conversations with him which is funny to me looking back now for some reason#he's cool; I hope we get to be friends eventually. :)#personal#tag post
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i haven’t planked in months and i was worried that i would fall over within seconds so i used the lazytown theme song of all things to time myself. i planked for over a minute straight! maybe not much but i’m proud of it since my personal best is like 2 minutes. then i did 5 pushups and 10 sit-ups [my old daily routine] and was just as pleasantly surprised to see it wasn’t that bad! call me autistic but the lazytown binging is working on me. this is for you, sportacus 🫡
#a few months ago i was working out relatively excessively and had SO much energy and just generally felt great#like. i had never been happier with my energy levels and physical state. a super light and manageable routine was all it took#i wanna get back to that and stop using “school 4 days and work the other 3” as an excuse not to do these simple things#which improve my life SO much#and i’ve been going on 3 mile walks on campus too. thank god for the wonderful walking track around the pond#my poor asthmatic lungs need this 😭#gear diary#oh god and not to mention cutting back on the sugar. like… i ate a bag of raw vegetables for breakfast one day?#and recently had a pear and an apple for dinner one night?? returning to my roots of eating like a fucking rabbit in a greenhouse#AND i’ve resisted the urge to eat the usual processed sugary snacks lately. WHICH IS A HUGE DEAL FOR ME#i’m just so proud of myself yall and i need to brag#TO BE CLEAR i’m not becoming a carb counting health nut here i still eat the same exact stuff with the exception of less sugar#and i don’t intend to ever change that. i love food and flavor too much lawl! i’m just trying to also absorb nutrients and stay active 🫶
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HOWDY FOLKS I've not drawn very much as of late since. uhhhh. SEVERAL things happened. but one of them is because i went to a miniature painting convention this past weekend!
it was super fun! here's a couple minis i painted-- first one was just for fun and i want to make her into a character now, second one i did in a class on painting with limited palettes! i did that with only three different colors of paint!
#thee colors. three bottles! didn't even use black or white! it was just a really dark blue. a magenta. and a yellow#*three colors. not thee hdsjhssjhd#anyway other reasons i haven't drawn much is. the weekend before that i was helping a friend with stuff#we had to. put kiki down last monday. that was not fun#and kiki's health had been declining for weeks before then#and I've been super busy packing and going back and forth between my parents and my apartment ~3 hrs away#and preparing for school. so yeah it's been. pretty busy as of late! I've done little doodles#here and there#and I've managed to join the aggies a few times#but yeah. owudoshdjdgdjdhfjgj#OH NORMAL TAGGING STUFF I SHOULD DO THAT#miniature painting#miniatures#idk actually... what to tag.... oh well!#OH I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER MINI I PAINTED don't have a picture for it yet#and i started working on a fourth but didn't end up finishing it before the convention ended
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[[UPDATE: I am going on hiatus until I can resolve whatever health issues I am currently having. Went to a specialist and they're working on helping me. I hate the idea of doing this but half the time I'm left bed ridden or with brain fog so...I need to go on a break. the "h" word is a scary one but it's time.
thanks for being patient with me.
I'll be back soon, I hope.
#[[i misunderstood that previous diagnosis. almost every american has it apparently#[[but anyway. ive been chronically ill with a mystery sickness and i need to get it figured out before anything else#[[the constant bloat is killinb meeee#[[havent been fired. my manager understands ive been having health issues but i have no passive income rn#[[and im behind on school. its so tough right now.
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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Random thoughts
Brain purge, will address these later in detail:
Time management. 40-50 hours/wk of work. 10-12 hr/wk school. Housework. Exercise. Chores. Downtime.
How to become a study girl. And a working girl. And a healthy diet girl.
Increase calorie burn without increasing hunger.
How to study and not eat more because of whatever makes me want to eat all the things at night. Like last night. I should have been focused. Instead I was continually looking for snacks even though I had obviously eaten more than enough.
Limit night eating.
Limit availability of UPF.
Keep calories within limits. Easier with turkey and chicken items, but I have alot of pork and beef.
Focus time needed for work and school items. (If I need brainpower for work items, I struggle with school focus that day.)
Sample time schedules? Create a habitt schedule??
#stuff i think#studying#school#brain purge#random thoughts#thought organization#my thoughts#random#focus#healthy habits#time#time management#weight loss management#schedules#managing myself#mental#mental health#how to get better#need to be better#brain dump#adhd brain
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Separated by 15 years
I think part of what is throwing me off about making this cosplay is that it's easy for some reason.
My first cosplay was done back in the foggy days of high school where I was skipping rope with the burnout line and pushing myself because I was supposed to be so smart. Smart and being good in class were my main features of being a student (and the whole not knowing about my brain being filled with weasels) and honestly despite that cosplay attempt having a similar 'difficulty rating' it was nearly impossible for me to finish as much as I had.
I was up the night before the con holding back a breakdown because I wasn't good enough to do the work. That I had failed to plan my time around being drowned in homework a terrible sleep schedule and the knowledge that I had the basic skills needed to sew this so why the FUCK wasn't I able to do it?
I went to that con missing a jacket and most of the details that would indicate what anime I was cosplaying from, but I still managed to have fun once I got there. I spun the costume from being 'incomplete Roy Mustang' to 'after a night drinking Roy Mustang' to explain the lack of jacket and how my wig was fresh from the mail.
Now I'm in college (on try number 3) making a cosplay of Donquixote Rosinante aka Corazon from One Piece and while the items I'm making are different, like how I've made his shirt instead of a butt cape, the whole process is inherently easier because I now have almost a decade of actually working with my brain instead of trying to live up to all those bright futures that my teachers and other adults saw in me most of my childhood.
Some of my skills have obviously developed, I know more about sewing and how to work with fabrics, but I also know how to recognize when I'm too tired to make meaningful progress. I can see how if I were to push forward and sew just one more seam before bed I'll probably end up making a mistake that would send me into a spiral trying to undo or fix the mistake all while opening the door for new and bigger opportunities to loose control of the situation and either having a breakdown or being upset with the project went and not wanting to touch it ever again.
Anyways I'm not letting myself procrastinate writing a paper by working on my cosplay so instead I wrote all this up instead. Time to set a timer for 10 minutes and write more of my paper before I can take another break.
#adhd#or something#brain weasels#I had really bad mental health in high school and basically no tools to manage it#I've got the tools now though#I interpreted a lot of perceived external pressures from the adults in my life that also lead to tons of self pressure to do things perfect#don't tell kids that if they're not going to do things completely they're better off not doing it at all it will fuck them up -source: me#I'm not responsible for fulfilling the futures they predicted for me#venting#?#I'm not sure what else to tag this with#cosplay wip
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hiyaaa, new follower here!! what kind of things do you like? :-)
ANDDDDDDD THIS GOT BURIED. SORRY i've been so so so caught up with school and been having some other personal things going on, so this got buried under donation requests T_T im so so so sorry (though i am managing better now!!!!) but i like art, ultrakill (clearly), halo (clearly), and other older style shooter games. though, i do like some other things like 17776/20020, the truman show, corru.observer, signalis, typically just stuff that plays around with mediums and abstract storytelling. SPEAKING OF WHICH.... my oc spring. i have so much about spring. if you ask me about spring i will not shut up. i also wanna get into music, and i like science and math and history and other such things. stem is very fun (ik history doesn't fall under that typically but whatever)
#marrsbarrs asks#i do feel bad about letting a lot of those sit but i am a high school student still trying to manage my own mental health. but i do want to#help where i can. i will try to stay on top as much as i can#ok sorry to answer a teeny bit personally LOL but yeah i saw you follow like 2 weeks ago#and youve been reblogging and liking my stuff EN MASSE so. im glad you like what's here ^_^#hope u enjoy ur stay!!
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#hey not to be that guy but#can people stop coming into my ask box wanting me to donate to their gfm in gaza via guilt tripping#i’m not saying i am not supportive of freeing palestine or wanting to get the word out for help#but i’m running thin in everything in life especially emotionally#ive had multiple meltdowns and breakdowns a week because of i cant stablize my emotions#and asking me to imagine watching my family suffer through pain and agony bc of illness is making it harder to manage#not to just trauma dump but for context#my mom had breast cancer when i was a junior in high school that i have ptsd from#and i saved my mom’s life at one point at 17 because of her cancer treatment#and i was home alone with nobody to help guide me through how to process it with my mom near death on the ground#i don’t have to imagine it i’ve experienced it#and on top of my continuing money issues and my declining health#i can’t really offer much more than reblogging posts#i’m not trying to say my situation is worse. but coming to me by trying to guilt trip me into helping is making me worse#i am doing what i can to help everyone i can#i’m closing my ask box for now because i literally can’t take it
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11.7.2024 Here's what happened in 2025
I have decided that my life doesn't have to be hard and I am going to accept the help of others. In 2025 I:
I did so well in my internship! I think all of the cute coffee shops, and library visits helped! I started also
👗😲💄Lost 60 lbs: the clothes I buy are so cute now. I'm so glad I didn't wait until the weight was gone in order to lose weight. I never thought people would think that I'm stylish, but dressing up before I lost weight really helped me with my personal style and now I always feel put together.
🧘♀️🧘♂️🧘I became a yoga teacher :) - I gained so much confidence and start teaching morning yoga and I had a blast!
💅✌️😌I opened my award winning beauty/wellness office - so many people supported me. I was so blessed and excited and I was able to help so many people!
🎓���🏫I finished my degrees and walked a few stages - It was so cool walking stages that younger me thought I never could. My family was so excited for me and we made a big trip out of my graduation trips!
🏯🚢🏝️I traveled to Tokyo, Bali, and went on a cruise
😃💖🏢I got the job of my dreams - A lot of people supported me during the process and I got an offer that I couldn't believe the offer I got! My benefits are amazing. I can't believe it!
💒👰🤵I got eloped in a beautiful little chapel surround by friends and family - I think my selkie gave old Hollywood in the 50s/60s we looked so cute and I enjoyed our intimate wedding. Omegamart was so fun and we even tried some good foods!
🤳🛍️💸I was able to make some money from content creation - not gonna lie, I felt really stupid at first, and at first no one looked at my channel, but one day it just took off. Little by little bit by bit I made it.
🙌😁🤝I inspired others around me to take action - Some of my family and friends even decided to go back to school after seeing my success.
🏠👩🦱🏪I got my new dream apartment in my favorite area - I can't believe this apartment, even with my previous credit issues. I got some months free in a new apartment and if I want to do something fun I don't even have to use my car!
🐶🦴🥣I got a Frenchie and a toy poodle - I really struggled naming them but they are so cute! They are healthy and get along great with my dog!
✈️🌍💼I traveled to see my mom - I love seeing her and spending time with her friends and us going to the spa, thank God I was able to work Remotely for a while.
⚡💲🔮I invested over $10,000 in the market - I almost didn't learn yoga, because the internet said I wouldn't make much money, but I took a chance I made so much money and even saw some growth in my other business that allowed me to invest in the market and see awesome returns!
In 2025 I was so amazed to see all that I had accomplished and all that God blessed me with when I finally let go and let God and actually showed up I was amazed how much I accomplished. When I let those that love me help me and stopped feeling like I had to do it the hard way, play small, work "hard" or do it alone I thrived. I received so many offers for good paying jobs, with great benefits before I even finished my internship or degree. I am so thankful that I stopped planning and started living, stop worrying about things that didn't matter I became the woman of MY dreams. I lost some people who weren't interested in the real me, but I gained so many friends, mentors, and good acquaintances. I am thankful for all I gained, and even what I lost because I know it led me to where I am now and I can't wait to see what 2026 has in store!
#information technology#affirmations#healing journey#healing#study motivation#study hard#wgu#self care#college#spotify#thriving>surviving#thriving#self sabotage#self discipline#selfish#self love#self improvement#self worth#weight goals#weight management#weight lifting#health and wellness#weight loss#you guys make internet fun#community college#student#student life#academics#university#school
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I already told the prison gang this and I know I'm the only one who cares, but I got an A on my last ever math final, which was like 5 hours long
#i sacrifices my social life free time mental health and overall sanity and managed to appease the cruel gods of the school system#but take it from me kids it doesn't really matter#i just function on academic validation#listen to the people telling you not to worry so much and saying that it's not that important#have fun#even if I'm unable to
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I have a plan on how to introduce Mike into the fic
After some consideration and since all these characters are based off of little parts of me, I have decided to give Mike of the worst years of my life. yay.
So, just a little tw, there is gonna be talk about "personal stuff that gets forced onto people unwillingly that usually happens to women" in chapter 4 or 5 of The Demigod With A Thousand Names (Just a, major warning for anyone sensitive to that kind of content.)
#fortheloveoftrapsjacks!#mike blaire#jackson blackburn#In middle school#I was in the bathroom washing my hands and someone came in and tried touching me in a bad way and tried pinning me down onto a wall to do#very very very bad stuff to me#I managed to get away though#and I never got a good look at the person's face or what they were wearing#and i'm pissed at myself about that#so anyways#that is what contributes to the reason as to why I don't like talking about get freaky or want to get freaky with people#it also explains a lot of my mental health problems#sorry for the mini vent guys
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stress acne ughhh
#mithi's own#musings from thy truly#reality#ughhhh#sigh#anyway#ugh fml#but ugh#ughmerlin#ugh#i just#god why#stress#mental health#mental wellness#stress management#mental wellbeing#academic#academic struggles#academic stress#school life#student life#school stress#school struggles#acne
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Today me any my dad plan to go to visit the high school one more time before school returns next week or so. I hope it all goes well. But I am still nervous about going back to school. Especially with my stomach having been so poor this summer. The last thing I need is for my stomach to get so bad that I can't make it to school on the first day back. If that happens, I don't know what I'll do. Even if i do manage to just go half-days, there's never any guarantees about keeping my stomach in line. And that's stressful. I hate dealing with all of this. It's not any fun worrying about school returning, my stomach being bad, me feeling sedentary online, and any untold other number of issues. So wish me luck today, as me and my dad go to visit the school today. With all my overthinking related stressors, I could probably use that.
#I still feel really nervous about all of this#wish me luck#if we do manage to go#school#high school#back to school#summer break#nervous#nervousness#neurodivergent#autism#autistic#asd#my thoughts#adhd#actually autistic#audhd#vent#venting#vents#ranting#rants#rant#stomach#stomach issues#stomach problems#health#health issues#health problems#stress
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the ceo was in today and he was pissed that i didn’t acknowledge him while he was wandering around the store but as a rule I straight up don’t approach unapproachable people who look like they’d rather be left alone to shop & I was literally working on sales stuff and he went to my manager and complained and I think he was gonna rip me a new one too but my manager took the heat for me but it put him in such a bad mood that he snapped at me about other shit instead and atp I’m like is this job actually worth all of this in the end
#and while typing this I just saw a dead pigeon in the street and now I really wanna cry so badly tbh#I really thought getting out of the house would like make my mental health better but it’s straight up just worsening it day by day bc wdym#the ceo is pissed I didn’t acknowledge him. I don’t even know you bro#and I say hi to everyone who walks in if he’s one of those people who ignores me im sure as hell not going out of my way to harass him#absolutely mental behaviour#and then I talked to my manager abt school bc he asked and I said about all the schoolwork plus the training courses for work and he was#asking me if I’m sure I can keep doing work for them and school at the same time#so now it got me thinking like ??? do I just have anxiety or are you like having second thoughts about me bc like that’s fine too but just.#say it yknow#anyway idk I’m just tired#I want to work in my field. I don’t want to do this.#mrow.org
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